#idk its also just a fun little project while im home for a few weeks. all my favourite possessions are in my room at uni so it feels a lot

[mumintroll]

decluttered like 5 big bags of stuff from my bedroom and reorganised everything so now i have lots of clear space and some empty shelves & drawers and stuff 🧘 my minimalist arc

[saintqueer]

hi <3 besides streaming only the brave, what are your favorite songs on repeat right now?

hiiii babyyy

i know this is from ages ago but you know how things have been with the project, plus i knew i wanted to actually take my time and have fun (fun being a relative term here) with this one soooo ima give you five

1. tolerate it - Taylor Swift

i've been listening to this nonstop over the last week. the melody makes me feel like i'm melting into the song. plus i just really love the reading of the song as mourning family refusing to celebrate your queerness. the line "my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" just kills me! and really hits the nail on the head with some stuff i've been processing in therapy lately. plus her vocal tone and the power of her head voice *chef's kiss*

2. I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers

honestly i feel like i've always had this song on repeat since it came out. i think it's just an overall masterpiece of a song. it feels like three songs in one with the slow build up, fun driving down the highway part, and then chaos incarnate. i just love the imagery of middle america and apocalyptic shit. i love anything apocalyptic.

3. I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

this one just really satisfies this deep need in me for wild fun summer vibes while still being a little suicidal. basically my dream combo for a bop!

4. hope ur ok - Olivia Rodrigo

this is suchhhh a pretty song and probably the biggest reason its been on repeat is the single incomparable line: "does she know how proud i am she was created with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred."

that line brings to mind Only the Brave for me and the whole premise of our project. it crawls into my guts and sits there, allowing me to kind of acknowledge all the hatred i've unlearned after growing up in a conservative evangelical home. every time i hear her sing that line, i feel very courageous myself which makes me press repeat a lot.

5. Make You Feel My Love - Adele

goddd, this song. idk what made me start listening to this again recently. can't remember but it entered back into my current repertoire. this song makes my brain feel like its turned into a fluffy white cloud.

it's just the song of ultimate and unconditional love. it makes me think of my nieces and nephews. makes me think of my very best friends. it also makes me think of my teen years and the kind of outlook i had on life at that time.

my favorite part of the song is when she sings "i'd go hungry, i'd go black and blue, i'd go crawling down the avenue, no there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love." it just makes me-

okay i know i made that a little long and sappy but im an enneagram 4 what else can be expected?? also, seven, i was thinking i love this ask so what if we turned it into a fun little tag game!

so if you have time, let me know what five songs you've had on repeat recently other than OTB. i'll tag you back and a few other people (the otb team) so they can do it too but no pressureeee y'all @dyingstars-x @thosefookinavacados @hometothecanyonmoon @1dwoodchuck @rainboww-paradise @secretheartmp3 @herefortommo @fishandfrog and also, outside the team, @himboniall and @dependsonwhospitching

[datingdonovan]

infj/8months breakup ask game answer

a/n: OMG anon who was an infj whose reason their relationship didn't work out was that their bf broke up with them after 8 months!!! and he wanted to still text and be friends and you haven't dated since!!! I started writing yours and then saved it as a draft and Tumblr ATE IT!!!!! its a good thing I hadn't written that much bc I would have been so mad if it deleted the whole thing lol. anyway I really hope you see this omg like please send me a message so I know you saw it hahahahah!!!! im so sorry idk why Tumblr did that that has literally never happened to me before so that was so weird???? ANYWAY THO here's yours :):):)<3 I hope you enjoy it and thank you for being so patient! and thank you for saying you like my writing! you're so sweet :)

okay look I know you haven't dated in a while and I know you're not really looking for anyone and trust me I know EXACTLY why and I hate your ex as much as you do but... I just ... I can't get this off my mind. I met this guy recently and I just have this feeling you two would really hit it off. he's in my bio class and we had to partner up for this project and he like, actually knew what he was doing, and I've met with him a few times for this project and he's cute and all... but then I got to thinking.... YOU'D like him!!!! here give me your phone im gonna put his # in ok??? here you go. the name is... hirugami

ugh seriously he seems like just your type, like, he's obviously super smart and SUPER attractive and he is so so SO steady. like, I saw him leaving class with this other guy who was SUPER hyper, and he was just laughing and smiling and going with the flow. he didn't need to be the center of attention and he just seemed so supportive and fun and like, relaxed, and confident in himself!! I mean I know just from talking to him that he's super mature, and kind, and he has this sweet sweet smile! I swear he seems like such a chiller, and when we started talking about other stuff after we finished the first section of our project (early ofc because he's uhhh a genius) he just seemed like, surprisingly imaginative and interesting for a guy who's deep in the hard sciences!! I just feel like he's the perfect mix of dreamy and intelligent and DRIVEN (like holy crap bio king how are you taking all these hard classes???) but also low-key and down to earth and stable and supportive. I swear he's the guy for you. I mean the man literally texted to make sure I got home safe (I swear it was platonic we're bros) and he is my PROJECT PARTNER for crying out loud imagine how he would be with you! this man would be so loyal and only ever have eyes for you. also, he's so laid back so NO GAMES. no stupid I like you wait I don't wait I do etc nonsense. if WHEN he falls for you I know he's confident and sure enough to make it clear and I don't think he'd just date around for fun. when the two of you meet, he's gonna wanna make it work with you and only you, for the long haul!! ugh I can see it already the two of you at a party, having your quiet little conversations between just you before he pulls you around the corner for a secret kiss??? hello??? both of you are so smart and imaginative and responsible but also chill and FUN and so so cool and atTRACTIVE and sort of existing beyond the games of like, social status and how you appear to others, and I bet you two would be so comfortable together and you'd only strengthen each other in that down to earth confident vibe :):) sooooo im gonna have him over to work on our project during dinner next week??? if youre free????

ask game closed :)

[icharchivist]

@nechrollomicon replied to your post “i know its; like, how schools and such work, but im still baffled i...”

This is so great! I'm so proud of you pumpkin! Tell us more!

hkjdfhfk thank you!!!  <3333

It’s a little complicated of a situation, but basically the artschool i intended to a few years ago opened a new school just now specialized in manga, video games and animation (the “video game and animation” being the one that is.... really eyeing me). The school itself is kinda selling itself more as a “formation school” than a school, as in, it is supposed to make us in contact with compagnies around the world. (I could meet some of the animators working for the school when I went on the open door days). 

The problem is that the school is kinda expensive and out of our means so a lot of things need to unlock for it to work - Regardless tho, they had a introduction internship planned for this week. And since the artschool somehow remembers me (i’m actually shocked the provisors remembered me i was shit. I may have had a diploma from it but d u d e h o w), even if i came aware of the internship quite late, the provisors still let my internship contract pass because they know I would show up and such. (and, if anything, while the internship would work well to get me into the school (since places are extremely limited), both the diploma i have, my history in their school, and how i apparently impressed the provisors and intervenants during the open doors day, if the money gets to happen i *should* have a place more easily*)

*The Open doors days were w i l d, they had animators and such present the program and i could talk to a couple of people and the more i elaborated both on my formations and my passions and why i was interested I was getting very interested reactions and like, it reminds me that *i have qualifications*. I’m bilingual which is always a plus and it still shocks me that people even more when i mention it casually or how i became so for trivial purposes. I have experience in langue and history schools and translation and such, i have a cultural background, a confirmation in art - and my own personal interests and analyses align with the kind of mindset they want, i spent hours rambling about animation and gaming and technical aspects like.

ANYWAY the Internship - is sooooo great? So far it’s mostly introduction to Game Design, and all the jobs that are available in it - from handling Photoshop and 3D’s programs (note to self 3D programs are a lowkey form of death), to analysing the marketting, to even explore the writting aspect of a production of a project, and all the things that must be taken into account by a productor (what to use, what purpose does it serves, thinking about level designs, about how it supports your project ect..). All of that with game trivia analysis in the middle.

And we’re only 7 so we’re closely followed and in a really cool espace and I’m handling it quite well, more or less (again, battling against the 3D program and yelling but *technically* i’m managing). And there’s a good ambiance in general.

so djkhfd maybe it’s too early to say “it’s going well!” and it finishes tomorrow afternoon so i’m midway through the internship, but ye this is really the sort of ambiance i really like and it’s not nearly as stressful as I expected. And it makes me realize that in a team, this is maybe the kind of elements I could eventually feel more at ease into.

Also i’m really getting along with the teacher and we talked a lot, and she compliments either my job a lot (which still baffles meeee, but at the same time there’s an aspect of it that makes me confident. Ie we had to make a “fake video game pitch” at some point and make a cover for it with a summary and all, and i was preparing mine and she went behind me and went “this is really good! and it’s really well written!” and my reaction was “ye, i’m glad i found the right police character” and she was like “no. I mean, the synthaxe.” “AH. Thanks.” i’m an idiot) or she is really enthusiast by how enthusiast i am (i keep replying all her questions like “do you know what are the different parts of the developpers’s works” and I was just, always mentioning something dkfhdkff she knew my name after 3 hours bc of how talkative i was about all of those) idk there’s something so validating to see my passion on stuff being validated and see i can make a decent work applying it i’m really happy dkjfhdk

Moreso, since it’s in my sister’s city (which is far from my parents’s house), i’m remaining at my sister’s place for a few days and tbh this is probably the most relieving part of it, far from the parents, i don’t really talk to them a lot, and while my sis is under some stress bc of my parents (very long story), she’s so much chill and sweet and it feels so much more comfortable than when we see at our parents’ home (and we could discuss in length yesterday about “how our parents ruined our lives”, the most validating convo ever tbh). 

So i’m in a good ambiance, good environment, and i’m doing stuff i like. 

There will be a few things to adjust if i can get the opportunity to get to the school, but ye, for now i’m trying not to think about this big If in case of disappointment and i’m trying to enjoy what i’m doing now - and it’s really a tone of fun. 

So ye dkjhfd we’ll see how the two next days will go,but so far i’m loving my stay and it’s really fun. :’D

thank you sweetie <3

Wish you well, take care!!

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[elcisa-blog]

hello hello yall, it’s your gal ronnie with a second muse!! this is my honey eloisa and i have so many ideas for her and i’m so excited to bring her to life since i’ve been dying to play her properly for so long, so PLease feel free to come plot w/ us ok ? OK ! anyway, her full bio can be found here if you feel so inclined, but it’s a bit long, so i’ll have a couple points under the cut summarizing it. also under the cut are some wanted connections ! that’s pretty much it for now, k byE

that’s not EMILY RATAJKOWSKI walking around?? nah, but ELOISA GOMOLKA gets that all the time. SHE’S actually from TORQUAY, ENGLAND, though they live in LA JOLLA now.  you’ve probably heard that 23 year old SERVER of CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN being referred to as the ZEALOT of this place. you know, i always see them EXPLORING AND TRAVELING or blasting A LITTLE DEATH BY THE NEIGHBOURHOOD on their lunch break..whatever.

alright so my baby was born and raised in torquay, england to a pretty religious, polish family. her father is polish and her mother is english, but their lifestyle and culture at home was very much polish based

also her actual birth name is katarzyna eloisa gomolka, but growing up in england, many people had a hard time pronouncing her first name so her friends & classmates and all that often called her by her middle name instead -- eloisa. so it eventually stuck and she legally changed around her first & middle names. ..  . 

this girl loves loves loves learning languages and studying other cultures and lifestyles , like in school , she was always that girl that took as many foreign language classes as she could. she knows the basics to a bunch of different languages but she’s fluent in english, polish, french, and spanish. 

also shes WILD ok . . . like her own weird brand of wild. she’s so Unexpected .. . its strange. but i love her sm. she’s loud, opinionated, stubborn, unpredictable, SUPER adventurous, you name it. she’s either laughing her ass off with childish excitement or spewing fire From her mouth, knowing NO boundaries . . there’s no in between like . . . shes so random, all over the place and all in your face most of the time im sorry . . . & when she loves u she clingy

anyway she also used to play the violin and horseback ride a lot growing up. her grandpa from her moms side taught her how to ride horses and she loved going to his farm in the english countryside to ride & hear his wise stories and all that. he was like her hero.

however, one day, right before eloisa was about to start her last year of high school  . . . long story short . . . there was an accident and grandpa passed away *cries* .  . . el took his death super hard since they were so close . . which caused her to get less enthusiastic about going to college and she just lost all interest at caring at all tbh, becoming more of a troublemaker at school, so her grades dropped her last year and so did all her aspirations for her future

after high school, instead of enrolling in postsecondary, she just wanted to get away from it all so she decided to trust in her adventurous side and partake in a work abroad program where she would be backpacking across south america, teaching english and helping build up communities. she did that until she was twenty-one. it was a Wild ride

in the midst of the program, while in colombia, she got involved w/ some sketchy dude who was in the drugs and car stealing business  . . . she loved the thrill & she thought she was so in love BUt he was super gross and toxic and ended up betraying her, stealing her money, and leaving her on the side of the road one night on one of his heists. aNYWAY it sucked

she finished the program and then decided to work for the work abroad program’s headquarters, which are situated in california. . . so thats how she got to san diego

eventually her position there terminated but she decided to stay in cali bc its very much her type of vibe SO now shes working at fashion valley & thats where yall come in 

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS 

OPPOSITES ATTRACT -- cheesy name but i think it’d be cool for her to have a pal who’s kind of the complete or near opposite of her but they kind of work ? ? like honestly this girl can TALK and ramble on for so long about random shit, so i think it’d be an interesting dynamic for her to have someone who just lets her Go Off and they just like to listen to her talk and she just likes having someone to listen to her . . . inspo is from this pic right HERE

EAT THIS --  while in south america, el kind of developed a huge respect and love for cuisine and cooking so now shes kind of obsessed with searching up random, exotic recipes and trying them out. sometimes her cooking backfires and is not the greatest but shes so determined to get things right and just loves Doing it so much that she doesnt care. . . so maybe she can have like a taste testing buddy or someone who likes to cook w her or something idk ? ? shfskd omg HC: she works as a server at ca pizza kitchen but i s2g she prob always tries to sneak in the kitchen and help cook But since shes so all over the place, theyre always like “ EL GTFO OF HeRE !!!!!” 

MOTHER HEN / PAPA BEAR -- this girl needs someone to keep her in line some of the time okay. she doesnt have any family here in cali so she’d love to have someone who takes care of her and makes sure she doesnt go too far ..  like someone she looks up to in a sister/brother/guardian figure type of way ? ? 

ZOOLOGY -- eloisa doesnt have any pets .. .  she can hardly take care of herself like what u think imma let this girl have a dog ? ? NO she can have a pet ROCK ( she does ) . . . but she loves animals so she’d love hAving a pal where she can just come by and play w their pets or smthg like she’ll be the best play mate ever  .. . i just wouldnt trust her to take care of ur animal for a week or smthg lmao

ADVENTURE TIME -- if u ever just want to do something crazy or try something new. . . literally just hit up eloisa . . . so i’d love for her to have friends who just text her up like i’m Not feeling good take me somewhere. . . and SHE WILL . . .or even if they’re not sad and just want to do something exciting . .. hit her up

OOPS :( -- ok So el can be a bit clumsy and random so i think a cool connection with someone would be like maybe one day eloisa broke something of theirs or fucked up their car or dyed their hair wrong or something stupid like that . . . basically eloisa fucked up . . . and ever since then, that person doesnt really trust her anymore and is kind of annoyed with her presence in general . . . BUT eloisa feels so BAD and guilty about it so now she basically tries to do everything in her power to make it up to the other person but they just keep not having it yknow ? ? 

ORANGE CRUSH -- ok ur typical crush plot bc theyre so fluffy and cute. . . but i think maybe a plot where the crush doesnt even have to be super romantic or sexual yknow ? ? like i can definitely see eloisa just being so interested in everything the other person does and just loving being around them and loving everything they do . . . so obsessed w their comportments . . . but it can be in such a fluffy, platonic way like That feeling when u see a rly cute puppy or baby penguin . . . eloisa just wants to hug ur muse and love them But not even sexually yknow ? ? 

TAKE ME WITH YOU -- ok i love this plot sm . . . maybe like a friendship where they both want to see the world together ? ? eloisa is really big on travelling so id love for her to have a friend where they’ve been slowly putting together their dream trip where they see the world together. and their friendship is so heavily based on them sending each other places around the world where they want to go and putting together bucketlists and itineraries for if they ever end up saving money and travelling together ? ? so fun

SCIENCE PROJECT -- there’s not much that scares el and she doesnt get pushed away so easily  . ..  but i think an interesting dynamic could be if there actually was someone who kind of freaks her out yknow?? a relationship where the person actually kind of intimidates her and theres just something about the person that makes eloisa question everything .. . kind of like a science project. shes always studying them carefully, unsure of how to react to what they say . . . they’re just bizarre to her and she wants to know more

POKE ! -- basically someone she loves to annoy and pick on , but not in a hateful way

TEACH ME -- maybe someone who is teaching eloisa a new skill or language or how to do something that they’re good at because eloisa would love that so much .. . she loves trying new things.. . .like honestly anything  ..  . even if she keeps failing

TINDER DATE -- ok so in my head, i feel like eloisa would be that type of person to troll people on tinder and play around with them ..  so maybe your muse got caught up in her trap once and she trolled them on tinder lmao ? ? ? i think thatd be so funny and she just loves laughing about it all the time . .

I DO . . . WAIT, NO, I DON’T ! -- ok So this is inspired by that one episode in friends where rachel and ross get married drunk in vegas once . . . so Like literally that lmao. like that is SO something that would happen to el. like maybe one time, they found themselves in vegas together, they got super drunk, and legit got married that same night super quick ? ? ? and obviously theyre divorced now but i think that’d be a funny dynamic and lil treasure of the past to have in a friendship/relationship

SOME TYPICAL ONES THAT I CANT GET ENOUGH OF -- exes, flings, hook ups, went on a few dates in the past, best friends ( someone to braid her hair and take bubble baths w her <3 ), enemies ( maybe someone who doesnt agree w how she lives her life or her whole vibe bc she can be a bit much sometimes lmao ), etc.

or literally anything else lol

[sh-lan]

i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also…gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!

[strangerfwendz]

16 May

i think i fell asleep talking to brad again. i dont even know anymore fahhhhh.

i woke up on the couch again and went back to sleep again in bed. didnt research on the info i needed for my asian studies presentation. so incredibly tired today idk why. but i woke up pretty early. i have been waking up pretty early before my alarm lately. i have an alarm for 6.45am but i have been waking up at around 5.30am even though i have been falling sleep at about 12.30am. i got dressed and wore the new tailor made suit pants i got from school, it was high waisted, interesting. high waisted pants look good for apple bottom butts. noice. i wore my green hoodie over my dress shirt from banana republic, love that shirt. but i later realized that a bunch of green lint stuck on it from my hoodie.

Business Math class was a little confusing at first with net revenue and gross revenue. tried joining natalia, anna, anastasia for lunch but we split for the big tables with the rest of our class. i overheard anastasia talking about some boy cheating on her. when i got back to class she was tearing up for a little bit. he friends could tell she was upset though not all knew what was up. but the came by her side to give her a hug and a kiss before class started. it was very nice to see that she had such supportive friends, boys and girls. a little envious, they are a fun group. i couldnt focus for rooms division class, we were learning accounting terms and procedures. i wasnt following and fell asleep for most of the first period.

Asian studies class was cancelled so i went to the interview room. kinda me chill spot these days. a nice small room with three desks (a lot of table space), electric socket next to me, air conditioner. all with the washroom and water dispenser just a few steps outside the room. 

i tried searching up on info for the rooms division project but i was falling asleep. i wanted to go to the SNU race track before yoga club but i ended up sleeping at the table. no one was at yoga club but the room was open so i just layed out a mat and slept until dinner. Fitness club was at 6.30pm and i had got to dinner at 5.50pm so i just sat by myself for a quick dinner. natalia ended up joining me tho but it was one of those pity things. she said she saw me eating alone so she came to give me company, “no one wants to eat alone” she says. even if its true for many, i believe one still needs to learn to be by themselves aw well. not long after, tomas joined in too cause he arrived to dinner late. we had a GREAT conversation though. we talked about meditation, the 21 days challenge im doing, the music concert in beijing they are going to. Damn, i was really interested in going with them. I send tomas a text asking if i could join. it was comforting warm feeling to hear tomas tell me “ oh i just read your text today and of course you are welcomed to join us”. 

unfortunately, it is this weekend! its probably for the better. Tomas said the whole trip is costing them 4000RMB each. i dont know who exactly is going but even if that includes accomodation, VIP tickets, train tickets. it doesnt cover food and transport and 4000RMB is already quite a bit for me. i dont think i would have even gone without this trip back home. especially since they bought their tickets as a package two weeks ago, who knows if there are any more tickets. would have been hella dope tho. fuuukkk. i didnt go to any cool concert and rock out here in china yet! nooooo.

Entering the fitness club, my eyes were greeted by a shirtless Sean. Wow them chest muscles. Vik was talking to his classmate julie, a korean that could speak russian fluently cause she was born there?? (or lived there) she seemed nice. she was in a suit though cause she was six and couldnt attend the club. Sean was there doing his own things around the school gym, he was just a supporter for Vik. Vik did a great intro, he really knows his stuff. I really like his tone of voice and the way he spoke to us. He taught us a HIT circuit for a rigorous cardio workout. it was a round of high knees, sumo squats, burpees, mountain climbers. Sean came around every once in a while to give encouragement and supervision. Vik was very greatful that jordane and i came cause if not, no one else would have come. 

Brad messaged me when i returned to the interview room. i told him i had just finished with fitness club, he didnt sound happy. we have another long conversation with me crying once again. brad was able to tell now and its better this way so he knows im not always that cold. he was just expressing his feelings. he felt underappreciated and ignored. i havent been paying much attention to him, in fact possibly pushing him away. I missed the last school bus back to Palm Beach(residence) and left at about 9.30pm when security kicked me out again. i didnt manage to get any work done but at least brad was happy again. i bought some grilled squid on the way home, yum twas good but also terrible for my diet. i was talking to Jason, the black taxi driver, when brad called me again. i just rejected the call cause i was busy discussing plans with him. i need him to drive me downtown to the spanish consulate and then the airport on thursday after school. I made sure to call him back right away, once i arrived home but he wasnt happy about it. “how dare you reject my calls” he said jokingly. 

Bradley called again after i went for a light jog. by then i was on the couch looking for the address of the spanish consulate. Jason said if i want to get there by 9am, then we’re gonna have to leave at 7am. none of the staff i asked responded and i couldnt find the right place. i’m just gonna have to wait for them to respond tomorrow, its fine if i dont get there by 9am anyways cause it closes at 12.30pm, no problem. then i fell asleep on the couch again, of course. i woke up not too long after but i was too tired to deal with it.