mmmercuryy

[mmmercuryy]

neil josten the character that you are. auburn hair and ice blue eyes and a serial killer's smile. the capacity for both extreme cruelty and immense kindness. an honest liar, a brave runaway. someone who is born of two violent, dangerous, immoral people and desperately, desperately doesn't want to be like them (but is a little bit anyway). harsh and brutal and rough around the edges and at the same time so devoted and genuine despite it all. spent his entire life outrunning his past, cutting people loose for his own survival, and was ready to die for the people he called family. never does anything half-hearted (except maybe college, but that's actually completely valid) but throws himself into it and literally puts his life on the line all for the game. bargains for jean's safety and makes an effort to keep him alive and well despite barely knowing him at all. signed his own death warrant by staying at the foxhole court because he wanted to see kevin break free of r*ko and make it to the top (where he belongs). neil josten, who could've been so much more violent and bitter and evil, but remained true and good and would've held onto his integrity and the people he loved till the day that he died. neil josten the character that you are.

[mmmercuryy]

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.

[mmmercuryy]

Seth Gordon: has the passion but not the talent

Andrew Minyard: has the talent but no the passion

[mmmercuryy]

My Chemical Romance is doing a North American tour do you think Aaron Minyard is getting tickets?

[mmmercuryy]

I’ve never had a crush I’m excited about- if I have a crush on you I am actively wishing for your death. You cannot be tripping me up like that.

[mmmercuryy]

Need to go to sleep but thinking about them again: every character in aftg has something they desperately want- neil’s is just to play exy, kevin’s is to be number 1, andrew’s is to stay alive, and i was struggling to think of jean’s but i realized it was to have a partner- it could never be kevin, because kevin was riko’s partner (which is a metaphor for kevin’s real partner being exy), it couldn’t be neil, his misplaced “forever partner”, and it couldn’t be renee. He clings so hard to the idea of people because all he wants is someone to be by his side for no other reason than because they love him, and I think in the next two books we’re gonna see him get someone, but also I hope give up some of that desperation and branch out his love to a system of people who love him.

[mmmercuryy]

Call me stupid but I had no idea what Trojans or the whole Troy story was but I just found something interesting.

Because Paris had abducted Helen from her family, that started the whole war. Isn't Jean referred to as Paris by Thea? Does that mean that Jean is a extreme key factor that leads to Jeremy escaping his family crutches? Does this mean that something horrendous happens to Jeremy in the golden raven so much that he may have to halt Exy or become more involved with his family? Maybe something relating to Bryson?

And how Paris had to choose between three goddesses. One that would give him power (Riko), another that would give wisdom and victory (Renee) and one that promised him the most beautiful lady (Aphrodite).

Aka how Jean agreed to Kevin transferring Jean to USC where he met Jeremy, which Kevin had put him directly under his care. Jean denied Riko, and he sadly denied Renee by going to USC and not joining the Foxes.

Am I onto something or on something guys 🙏🙏

[mmmercuryy]

i love how kevin day's role is that of the dead wife that haunts the narrative (in aftg AND tsc) even tho he isn't dead idk if you see the vision

[mmmercuryy]

thinking about Renee saying “I’m a bad person trying very hard to be a good person” in the sense of not just her past actions but a feeling of imposter syndrome towards her current ones.

I think Renee’s imposter syndrome needs to be talked about more!! I especially think it would be interesting to see her pov and the imposter feelings towards saving Jean. Does she still think she’s a bad person trying to be good then? When does she become just a good person?

Ugh Renee Walker I love you let me inside your head please.

[mmmercuryy]

literally NOTHING annoys me more than ppl acting like Andrew did nothing wrong- he was a shitty brother. Does he love Aaron? Obviously. Did he do what he thought was best? Of course. But did he always care about Aaron’s future and what he wanted and what would make him happiest? Not once! I’m not saying he’s an abuser or anything, but he’s not a great brother and I’m sick of people acting like Andrew was this Angel and Aaron is a dick for being upset with him

[mmmercuryy]

contrary to popular beliefs i don’t think Andrew has any lip piercing because if he did Neil would never stop talking about them and especially when they kiss

[mmmercuryy]

I should run for president so the media can find my tumblr posts and show them to america

[mmmercuryy]

My oil painting of an Uncrustable

[mmmercuryy]

Skipping night practice

[mmmercuryy]

me every time neil calls aaron boring or uninteresting: you fool!!!!! you fell for it!!!!!! you took one glance at the facade he built up over years and years of beating himself into the ground to stay invisible and you never took a second look BECAUSE HE NEVER WANTED YOU TO. THAT'S THE POINT. you're not supposed to think he's anything more than what he looks like. by design, you will never look twice because he's normal. he's not like the rest of them because there's nothing wrong with him!!!! he's fine!!!! he's okay!!!! he is playing a part 24/7 and he's playing it so fucking well that you will never see it falter until it does. until he has to break it.

[mmmercuryy]

thinking of how renee gives andrew her knives (protection) and jean her cross necklace (faith), being the first person to give them what they needed most.

[mmmercuryy]

I think it's my civic duty as a member of the aftg fandom to remind you all that before getting his first paycheck, Neil canonically donates the rest of his life-on-the-run money to a safehouse for homeless youth in Baltimore