#idk it's early for me and my brain is sleepy

[mor-and-more]

Abomination Sweater update!! Both sleeves are done!!!

Now I'll be quietly knitting the front till the time comes to start a new thing (on Saturday)

I'm feeling very powerful!! And might do full on left-handed throwing on the even number rows, for funsies and to avoid turning the project

Ambidexterity for the win!

[nyxypoo]

sleepy but i wanna chew on his cheek

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Christ. I forgot how insane House and Wilson are.

House MD, my beloved 🖤

[spencerismmm]

I’m obsessed with the idea of a best friends to lovers type situation with mutual pining btwn the reader and early seasons Spence (I’m thinking like season 2 or 3). In terms of plot, I’m thinking a sleepover setting bc why not. If that’s not detailed enough I’m sorry lol

love this idea! thank you so so much!!

Summary: Spencer and reader are bestfriends and reader invites the team over for a sleepover, Spencer is nervous around reader but she tries to help calm his nerves (idk if this is good because it's my first time writing in a while, tips criticism is always welcome.)

Couple: Spencer/fem!reader

Category: fluff

Content warning: tiny mention of r@pe and kidnapping

Things were a bit tense at the BAU because of a very sad k!dnapping and r@pe case, and to lighten the mood, you thought to invite the team over for a sleepover. You were cleaning your house up for the sleepover, getting food and sleeping situations ready as the doorbell rang. You were confused as to why somebody had already arrived, considering there was still a while before the sleepover was intended to start. You went to the door, and realized it was Spencer. It wasn't unusual for Spencer to come to your house, as he would sometimes come visit as an escape, or just to talk.

"Spencer! Why are you here so early? There's still like an hour until everyone is supposed to get here." you questioned, still opening the door for him to come in. You liked when he came over, he always knew how to comfort you. "Oh, I just wanted to come help you get everything ready, and I had nothing else to do." Spencer said as he walked in, putting his things on the counter. "Oh, okay! Could you just help me set some of the food out?" you asked, not minding a little help. Spencer didn't even reply, he just started helping. You didnt mind when he didn't talk, it was just comforting knowing he was there. You knew in the back of your mind that you had a little crush on Spencer, but figured that he wouldn't like you back, though the whole team wanted the two of you together.

After a while of setting things up, the team started to arrive. first Garcia, then Morgan, then JJ, then Prentiss. That was everybody who was coming, Hotch wanted to spend time with his family, and Gideon was, wherever Gideon goes in his free time. Everybody was gathered on the couch for a movie, Garcia in between JJ and Morgan, then Spencer in between you and Prentiss. It was a pretty tight squeeze on the couch, but everyone made it work. You turned on the movie, a scary movie. Spencer wasn't really paying attention to the movie, as he was too caught up in his brain, thinking about you. Everybody on the team knows he has a little crush on you, except you. He was far too shy to ever admit that he liked you, but it was there. Right now, all he could think about was the proximity between the two of you, the way your legs layed against his, and the way he wished that you knew how he felt. During the movie, you would grab onto Spencer's arm every now and then, or lie your head on his shoulder, which drove him insane.

The movie had ended and everybody was sleeping, you were laying your whole body on Spencer, fighting the sleepiness away. "You really need some sleep, Y/n" Spencer said, awkwardly sitting there. "I am having fun, I don't want to sleep." you protested, sitting up, you then realized that everybody was asleep, groaning, you laid back down on Spencer. "Fine." you said, crossing your arms. "Y/n.. where.. where do i sleep?" Spencer asked, nervously running his hands through his hair. "Stay here. Stay with me." you say, leaning more into him, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around you. Spencer was glad the lights were off so you couldn't see his blush ridden face. He let his body ease up, leaning into you, but not fully. "It's okay, Spencer, just calm down. It's just me." you said, closing your eyes. Just you? Just the girl he had been lovestruck over for months, he thought. "Y/n.. i really like you." he says, shocked at his own words. Your eyes widen and you plaster a smile across your face "I really like you too, Spencer." You say, planting a kiss on the side of his jaw. "Goodnight, Spencer." you say, leaning your head into the crook of his neck, allowing yourself to relax. Spencer was shocked, but still allowed himself to relax and hold you as he fell asleep. As he thought you were sleeping, he whispered, "please don't leave me, y/n." as he moved your hair out of your face to look at you, he saw a smile, he knew you heard him, but he didnt care. Spencer Reid was in love with you.

I really hate this, it's so long. It was very rushed. Tips and criticism is much appreciated! I'm super sorry if this isn't what you wanted, but i tried😭💘.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Vincent and Gerald

Barbie dolls: Locklyle x gn!reader

Word: 1.6k

Summary: you have a stuffed animal that youre embarrassed about and don't want Lockwood to find out about it but halfway through the night your stuffy goes missing

Warnings: your stuffy is a bear named Vincent and that has nothing to do with me or my stuffed animals shut up, you have embarrassed feelings about having a stuffy (look at me when I tell you it's nothing to be embarrassed about I'm just using it as a plot device), gay people, you're in a poly couple idk?, kissing while you guys probably have like morning breath but it's not mentioned, Lockwood snores, Lucy is super sweet and Lockwood is sleepy, yada yada it's fine

Lockwood has struggled with sleeping for so long that he can barely even remember what a good night's rest feels like. Logically, he decided maybe his nerves would calm if he squeezed both his partners and himself into his bed. Maybe sleep could come to him easier if he was snuggled between his beautiful girlfriend, Lucy, and lovely partner, you.

After dinner one night, when you and Lucy were sitting on the couch and reading together, he suggested a sleepover. To which Lucy asked if he was four, and you said ‘Sure, baby.’. Lockwood found himself feeling faint, and now he was questioning if sleeping next to the two people who made him feel the most nervous was really going to settle his anxieties before bed.

Eventually, you three were all settling into his covers. You were laid on one side of the bed and Lockwood on the other with Lucy in the middle. Lucy was holding onto your arm, while she snuggled into Lockwood’s side.

You stared up at the ceiling, listening to Lockwood’s and Lucy’s breathing, you waited for them to fall asleep. While Lockwood hasn’t fallen asleep at an appropriate time in years, you haven’t fallen asleep without your lovely Vincent in years. Vincent was a stuffed bear that was just the perfect size for clutching to your chest. For whatever reason, with one snuggle from Vincent, you were snoozing away. You haven’t fallen asleep without out him for so long you’re not sure you can do it.

It felt embarrassing to still need a stuffed animal to fall asleep since you were no longer 6 years old so really all your stuffed animals should be burned by now. Lucy already knew, having woken you up in the mornings many times. Lockwood however was still in the dark. You weren’t entirely sure what his reaction would be. He wasn’t exactly the type to make fun of you and Lucy but some irrational part of your brain made you feel like he’d get disgusted with you.

You heard their breaths even out, you leaned over the edge of the bed and pulled Vincent out from under your jacket. You’ll just wake up early and hide VIncent before Lockwood wakes up. So with Vincent clutched to your chest and your arm pulled between Lucy’s, you quickly fell asleep. Your rest was lovely, and so was Lockwood’s, until your body jolted you awake.

You had a moderately bad dream and now you needed Vincent even more. You sat up to find Lucy had dropped your arm in favor of hugging Lockwood closer. They were wrapped together in a tight hug, Lockwood’s jaw dropped open as he snored away. You grimaced at the loudness before deciding Lockwood’s humor made up for the atrocious snoring. You glanced around the blankets surrounding you, no sign of Vincent. You must’ve knocked him off the edge of the bed in your sleep. You leaned over, looking down at the ground. All you saw was your jacket and Lucy’s house shoes. You frowned, leaning further over to peer underneath the bed. You found the shoe Lockwood said he lost two months ago, but not Vincent. You reached under the bed and flung his shoe towards the door so he’d “find” it in the morning.

It shouldn’t have caused as much panic as it did, but you felt your heart beating rapidly as you still couldn’t find poor lonely Vincent. You leaned over to Lucy, kissing her cheek before lightly rocking her shoulder. You glanced up at Lockwood. They were pressed together so closely that rocking Lucy meant you were rocking Lockwood. Lucy’s head pulled up, humming and squinting at you. Her hair was messy from wriggling around during the night.

“Hm? What? You okay? Ghost?” You soothingly rubbed her arm. Her words sounded as sleepy as she looked. You pulled away from her as she sat up from Lockwood’s grasp.

“Don’t wake up Lockwood, okay? I lost Vincent, I’m kinda freaking out a little.” You whispered, glancing at Lockwood’s still sleeping form. Lucy rubbed her eyes, nodding.

“Okay, it’s alright. We’ll find Vincent, baby, it’s okay.” Lucy said, rubbing your bicep. You did feel a little better with her comforting words. You gave her a light smile. She leaned forward, giving you a light peck. You appreciated it, humming into her lips. She pulled away, tucking the blankets into Lockwood’s side so he didn’t notice the lack of her warmth.

With you two trying to find Vincent and failing, your anxiety pressed into your shoulders more. You let out a breath, sinking to sit on the floor with your back pressed against the edge of the bed. Lucy moved away from the foot of the bed, deciding Vincent definitely wasn’t under the bed. She sat next to you, pulling you into a hug. Lucy’s hand made it to the back of your head, rocking you back and forth.

You were starting to find annoyance in the sound of Lockwood’s snoring. You tried to keep your tears quiet. Whether it was Lucy’s comforting whispers or your sniffling, Lockwood startled awake. His snoring cut off, replaced by him smacking his lips. You wiped at your cheeks before looking back at Lockwood. He was sat up, staring at you two in confusion.

“Floor convention?” Lockwood muttered, rubbing at his eye with the palm of his hand. Lucy sighed, opening her mouth to explain. You shook your head, looking into her eyes intensely.

“Don’t tell. I don’t want him to know.” You whispered though it didn’t really matter because Lockwood still heard. Lucy pressed her lips together in disagreement. Lockwood hummed, shuffling to the other side of the bed to look down at you two.

“Don’t tell me what?” Lockwood asked, staring at you. You shook your head. Lockwood tilted his head to the side. Lucy hummed.

“Tell him,” Lucy said. She phrased it like a demand but her tone was reassuring like she knew something you didn’t and just wanted you to be happy. You glanced back up at Lockwood.

“I can’t find my stuffed animal, and I can’t sleep without it.” You said all in one exhale, the words pressing together and staying hushed. Lockwood looked away from you, running his hand through his bed head. He glanced around the room, before nodding.

“Okay? What does it look like?” Lockwood asked, leaning back to rest on his palms. You looked back at Lucy, she gave you a small smile before nodding.

“He’s a bear.” You whispered, feeling taken aback that he really didn’t care. Lockwood nodded again, pulling himself off the bed. He started searching through the blankets, picking up the pillows to look under them too. You and Lucy stood up from the floor and helped look too. You looked under your small pile of clothes before moving to look around the walls. Maybe you just flung Vincent really far.

“Found it.” Your head spun around at Lockwood’s voice. There he was, your lovely boyfriend holding out beautiful Vincent. You gasped, rushing across the room to take Vincent out of Lockwood’s hands. You hugged Vincent to your chest before realizing Lockwood was still in front of you. You looked up at him. He gave you a warm sleepy smile.

“You really don’t care?” You asked, pretending like you weren’t covering up Vincent’s ears. Lockwood shook his head.

“Why would I care?” You shrugged, feeling more and more silly as time went by.

“Well, I guess you would think I’m a little old for a stuffed animal. Kinda weird, no?” Lockwood’s eyebrows pinched at your words. He gave you an overdramatic frown.

“do you consider me weird?” Lockwood asked. You glanced down at Vincent to silently ask if he understood what was going on.

“No?” Lockwood held up one finger, before moving towards his bedside table. While he was digging in the bottom drawer, you noticed Lucy was already wrapped up in the covers, lying in the middle of the bed. She looked to be already asleep but you were pretty sure she just wanted you two to join her already. Lockwood turned around with his very own stuffed animal. It was a giraffe with a slightly floppy neck and embroidered smile. Lockwood held it to his chest as he walked to your side again. His giraffe was a little bigger than Vincent, but still looked huggable.

“This is Gerald. He’s a giraffe, obviously. My parents gave it to me, I sleep with it a lot. Especially when I miss them. I would never judge you for something so trivial.” Lockwood said, holding Gerald out so you could see it properly.

“He’s Lovely. You’re lovely.” You said, smiling at him. You felt a little silly for stressing so much when Lockwood had his own stuffy. He leaned forward, lightly rubbing the tip of his nose with yours. You closed the space, meeting his lips. Lockwood hummed, before pulling back.

Lockwood took a step back before sticking Gerald out. You held out Vincent, making their embroidered noses touch. Lockwood nodded.

“They’re in love, too.” He muttered. You agreed.

“Oh yes, Vincent is deeply committed to Gerald.”

“We should get Lucy one,” Lockwood said, walking to his side of the bed. You nodded, following his lead and walking to your side of the bed.

“You should get me a million dollars, is what you should do,” Lucy mumbled, her voice muffled by her pillow. You pressed Vincent to your chest before throwing your arm over Lucy’s side.

“I’ll add that to your next paycheck, darling,” Lockwood said, resting his arm over yours. Lucy made a sound similar to a squeal.

“I’m excited,” Lucy whispered. You glanced down at Vincent, so glad to have him back in your arms. You really should get Lucy one so her stuffy, Vincent, and Gerald could go on stuffy dates.

[everythingdenied]

stubble-matty healy

a/n: hey loves <3 idk why i'm suddenly deciding it's a good idea for me to post my writing on tumblr again (or why the first thing is i'm deciding to post is just pure filth) but here we are. i've had this in my notes for aggeess and since everyone's in their matty era rn i thought i'd feed you all. pls be nice i am actually shitting it posting this. (also apologies to all my old moots who now have matty healy in their feed when they do not want him! love u all x)

warnings: just pure self indulgent smut tbh (but it's cute, I promise!) smoking, fem!reader        

wc: 1,691

I’d never really been an early bird. The morning air was always a little too cold on my skin for my liking and I didn’t much enjoy the taste of coffee, nor the sound of my alarm, which I set each night despite knowing I’d sleep through it every time without fail. My pillow never felt quite as fluffy as it did in the evening and the noises of the bustling city I’d grown somewhat fond of only existed to annoy me as I prised open my tired eyes. And yet, with him…I was every bit a morning person.

There was just something different about waking up to him. Even at 7am, with my alarm blaring from my phone and the barely conscious thought that I had to be up for a meeting soon flitting around my brain, I couldn’t help but smile to myself whenever I opened my eyes to see him beside me. Especially on those rare occasions like today that I woke up before him, languidly turning onto my side to see the man I loved still dozing peacefully.

He was such a pretty sleeper, his face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, lips parted and warm breath tickling my bare skin with each soft snore. His curls, which he’d recently developed a penchant for flattening down with obscene amounts of hair gel, were splayed out haphazardly on the pillow and I smiled sleepily at the sight, moving to brush a few stray locks from his eyes. I pressed a a featherweight kiss to his forehead and he stirred, a contented hum slipping from his lips, but didn’t wake, much to my delight. I so wanted to bask in this moment just a little longer, scarcely having the pleasure of seeing my boyfriend in a state so unadulteratedly vulnerable.

Minutes passed and, still draped in my sheets and his limbs that he’d aimlessly tossed over me in the middle of the night, I watched Matty with a sleepy smile painting my mouth. My eyes traced his every freckle which, after nearly four years together, I thought I’d become familiar with, only stopping when I noticed his eyelids slowly flutter open.

He yawned and sluggishly rubbed a fist against his eyes, dazed with sleep as he blinked up at me.

“Morning” I smiled, finding him wonderfully endearing when he was barely over the threshold of slumber.

“Mph, g’mornin…” He croaked out lowly, eyes falling shut again as he buried his head further into my neck, placing a sloppy kiss to my jawline. “How long have y’been awake?”

“Not long. Couple of minutes, maybe.” Matty hummed, lips never once leaving my skin as he peppered a listless trail of saccharine kisses from my jaw to my neck. His two day old stubble brushed against me and I giggled at the sensation, squirming under his touch. “That tickles…”

“Sorry.” He smirked, looking up at me with a familiar cheeky glint in his eye, still managing to tease me in his drowsy state. “Need to shave."

I shook my head, scratching the light shadow of facial hair that peppered his jaw.

"I dunno...I kinda like it. You look quite fit."

"Yeah?" Matty snickered at my words, his laugh a little rough with sleep, and nuzzled his cheek against mine, intentionally grazing my skin with his stubble. I pushed him away, biting back my playful smile.

"Stop it. You're gonna give me beard burn."

"You've never complained about that before, love..." He chuckled but pulled away from me, sitting up to lazily reach for the packet of cigarettes resting on his side-table, pulling a smoke out with his teeth.

I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what he was implying and wanting no part of it. I had work in an hour or so; choosing to engage with him and his incessant virility was a dangerous game that I wasn't too sure I had the time to play.

"It's barely seven o'clock, Matthew. Get your head out of the gutter" I chided, eyes fixed on him as he lit his cigarette, the sheets pooling at his waist and his unruly curls flopping forward.

He grinned sleepily, blowing out a thin trail of smoke from the corner of his mouth before turning to look at me, propping himself up on one elbow. "S'always deep in the gutter with you, darlin."

Jesus.

I pursed my lips, suddenly feeling restless under his half-lidded gaze. He knew it, too; more than aware of the effect he had on me, especially at times like this where the border between love and lust blurred in the hazy morning light.

"Even when you've just woke up?" I cocked a brow, stealing the cigarette from between his fingers and taking a long pull.

Inching closer, Matty smirked and slipped a hand beneath my pyjama shirt, his thumb kneading soft circles against my waist.

"Oh, that's when it's at its deepest." Claiming the cig back, he took one last drag before stubbing it out in a nearby ashtray, wasting no time in pulling me flush against his warm body. His lips met mine in a matter of seconds and I practically purred; the first proper kiss of the day far better than the buzz any amount of espresso or nicotine could give.

For a minute or so, the two of us remained locked in a kiss, a barely-awake display of affection that only turned to desire when Matty's hands fell from my waist, fingers hooking under the cotton waistband of my underwear.

"Matty..."I mumbled against his mouth, brushing away his hand only for it to fall right back into position. "Mph...I've gotta get up for work."

He pouted, pulling away somewhat breathlessly.

"Please" His voice radiated with a fervent desperation. "I'll be quick. Jus' wanna taste you before you go."

"I-I dunno. I really can't be late again."

The heat between my legs said differently.

"Please, love..." He reiterated, almost whimpering now. "Promise you won't be."

He was already practically between my legs at this point, fingers splayed out against my hips as he planted sloppy kisses to my stomach, my shirt now somehow hiked up just below my breasts.

This man was going to be the death of me (and probably my career, by the looks of things.)

"Shit, Matt" I shook my head lightly at my the love of my life as he lay at the foot of the bed we'd shared for years, gazing up from between my thighs with sleepy adoration and the morning sun on his face. I could do nothing more than sigh in defeat. "Fine. But you're looking after me if I lose my job over you."

"Always" he breathed out softly.

It took him no time at all to pull down my underwear, letting them bunch up at my ankles as he turned his full attention to my thighs, which already glistened with my own slick.

"Fuck, love" He drew a sharp breath, languidly nibbling at the skin just below my pussy, leaving lazy, haphazard marks on my inner thighs. His grip on my hips grew tighter. "So beautiful."

"Thought you said you were going to be quick." I whined, bucking my hips slightly. Matty chuckled, his warm breath brushing my bare cunt.

"God, so needy" He quipped jokingly and I lifted my head from the pillow to shoot him a look. Brave words for a man who'd just practically grovelled at my feet for a taste of me. "Alright, alright. You don't need to tell me twice."

And with that his mouth finally got to work, lapping up my dripping arousal with a fervency that let me know just how much he desired me. Matty didn't always want to admit it; sincerity was difficult for him at the best of times, but he'd crawl into my skin if he could. Moments like this, when his mouth and attention was on me and me alone were his special way of letting me know that I was all his.

The speed at which his tongue worked at grew with each passing moment, no longer idly circling my clit. I gasped, hands grasping at his curls as I felt the familiar burn of his stubble against my inner thighs, an added sensation I was rarely lucky enough to experience. Thank fuck he hadn't bothered to shave.

"Feel good, gorgeous?" I let out a strangled moan in response and Matty hummed in satisfaction against my core, the soft vibration only bringing me closer to orgasm. "Good. S'my pretty girl."

He said nothing more, the room only filling with the sound of pleasure; my desperate whimpers and the sloppy sound of his tongue as it drew shapes against my bud intermingling in one sweet sonance. With each lick, I grew nearer to release. Matty knew my body well enough to know I wasn't far from cumming, feeling me writhe beneath him, mumbled expletives slipping from my mouth as he told me just how good I tasted.

"Nearly there, darlin'. Doin' so well." He quickened his pace, breathing heavily as he coated my pussy in his saliva. "Wanna cum for me, yeah?"

I nodded, although I wasn't sure he could see me, the coil in my lower stomach tightening.

"Y-yeah."

"Thought so" he breathed. "Go on then, love."

And I did, coming apart beneath him, loosing myself momentarily in a feeling of burning pleasure only he could ever elicit from me. I sung his praises, his name falling from my lips as he slowed, his featherweight kisses to my clit allowing me to ride out my high. Matty let out a throaty groan himself, getting off on knowing he'd done this to me.

Hazily flopping my head back against the pillow, I felt Matty clamber up the bed, watching me with loving ardor as my chest heaved.

He hovered above me, his hands positioned firmly on either side of my shoulders as he leant down to kiss me, his (not quite) beard glistening with my juices and his lips slick and wet.

"How's that for beard burn, aye?" He smirked against my mouth and, despite my exhaustion, I found just enough energy to smack his shoulder playfully.

"Dickhead."

[max-nico]

Songs to listen to for maximum Tails angst, as well as a run down of how I daydream to them

Enjoy, or don't, and feel free to add your own. I'm always looking for new music recommendations.

Multiple paragraph incoming, you have been warned

The Tornado, Owl City

Starting off with an absolute BANGER !!!!! I'm obsessed with Owl City so don't @ me about this lol. In this song Adam Young is telling a story about a young boy delivering papers on his bike, when a tornado hits. Miraculously, he survives.

To me, this song is about Tails gearing up to leave in the tornado. As he begins to fly over the ocean a storm hits, and eventually turns into a tornado. As the music crescendos the storm gets worse, and eventually the plane crashes into the ocean (specifically at 2:05, you can't tell me it doesn't sound like a Wii sports snorkeling mini game). By the time the lyrics come in he's grabbed the chaos emerald from the back of his plane and he's trying to get out of the water. At the line "the shadows slowly melted as I was hunkered down" Tails spots angel island and he flies up there and it's a happy ending yayyyy

I Was an Island, John-Allison Weiss

Honestly I don't have like a particular scene or daydream to this. This song just makes me feel things when I listen to it, and I think Tails would really relate. I think specifically NINE would relate actually, but any Tails variation will do tbh

"I can't do this alone anymore, I'm no good on my own anymore. What did I do to do deserve this? What did you do to me? Baby come back, you know I don't wanna be free." Is just something I feel like Nine would relate to idk

Bugbear, Chloe Moriondro

I don't have a particular daydream to this one either but this song is so Tails to me. This is so him. Y'all aren't listening she said "my brain is surrounded by school kids who all got their valedictorian course, while I couldn't care enough about my 3.8, no matter how hard I try I'm still not trying hard enough to be... Great." YOU'RE TELLING ME HE DOESN'T RELATE TO THAT ?!!?!!

Talk To Me, Cavetown

This is so Sonic talking to Tails to me. "You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique, you don't have to know what to say or what to think, you don't have to be anybody you can never be, that's alright, let it out, talk to me." Is something Sonic has said to Tails at least once and you can't convince me otherwise.

This song is just so comforting. Listening to this makes me warm with brotherly feels.

Vanilla Twilight, Owl City

I used to cry to this song, so tread lightly sympathetic criers lol.

This daydream takes place sometime after Sonic Frontiers when Tails decides to go his own way, leaving Sonic by himself. It switches between their POVs depending on the lyric. For example, one of Sonic's lyrics is "cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me, I'll send a postcard to you dear, cause I wish you were here." And one of Tails' lyrics is "I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in 2 days, cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone."

They'll reunite someday I swear

Overgrown Garden, Beetlebug

Ow ouch ffff-ouch ouchie owwwieeeeeee ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ sorry guys this one involves major character death lol

So the actual song is about an abusive relationship using flower metaphors and symbolism, but I didn't know that when I started listening so this daydream has nothing to do with that. With that being said...

Every chorus is Tails at a different age wondering if Sonic will abandon him, no matter how much Sonic reassures him the thought just sticks in the back of his mind even if he doesn't voice it. Things don't start to get juicy until the 3rd verse, "The rhododendrons crimson flame, set fire to the sleepy air, and lit the early morning haze, that glistened in your tangled hair." I understand that the flame is a metaphor and there's no actual flame but I don't care, in my daydream there's actual flames because Sonic and Tails are in the middle of a flower field that's been engulfed in them.

At the lyric "You place a crown of marigolds on my head, and then you said, as you tried to pull your bloody hands away" Sonic is laying against the only tree in sight, a big bloody wound in his abdomen with Tails trying to stop the bleeding. And then when the chorus comes in again, it's Sonic comforting Tails while he bleeds out on a battlefield. When Tails asked "I wonder if you'll leave me, behind someday, among the wildflowers and lilies, sleeping by the way" he meant like runaway and abandon him on an adventure, not die in a burning flower field you idiot ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

Blue Hair, TV Girl

For maximum feels, listen to Vanilla Twilight directly after listening to this

I feel like a lot of y'all are already gonna know this one, and I respect that. I'm not super sure what this song is actually about but I like their funny words so it's okay lol

This is another song from Sonics POV to me. It's Sonic talking to his friends at different times about Tails growing up and not needing him anymore. In this case, Tails has to "cut her blue hair off" and Sonic is the blue hair if you couldn't tell lol like "and I tried, to hold her, but it didn't really last long, she's getting older. I guess she's gotta cut her blue hair off".

There's also the line right before that one "what seems so blue in the sunlight, by the night was a pale green" blue and green are literally their eye colors this song was meant for them.

This isn't all of them, we'd be here all day if I listed every single one lol. Don't be surprised if I follow up with more song rec posts bc I love talking about music, and please give me some recs as well

[becauseplot]

*returns to yours* I HAVE THOUGHTS! NOT COHERENT ONES TOO SLEEPY AND NEED TO SAVE COHERENCY BUT THOUGHTS!!! MOSTLY ABOUT ISLAND TEAPARTIES AFTER THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP WHERE CELLBIT AND PHILZA DRINK TEA AND PHILZA TEACHES CELLBIT ABOUT STARS AND CELLBIT SLOWLY GETS BACK INTO HIS ENIGMAS AND THEY BOTH BITCH ABOUT TEA BUT DRINK IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT HAS GOOD STATS

YEAAH!! YEAHHH!!! Okay okay okay so I meant to ramble more earlier when you initially responded to my ask and then I got sleepy and conked out and now it's super early for me, nailed it lmaooo. so anyway just like a couple things i noticed abt this scene *rolls out a scroll of notes, the bottom hits the floor and bounces out the door cartoon-style*

Chayanne gives Cellbit a rose!! Idk if Rose still has influence here (I'll have to sift through Phil's VOD to see if he says anything abt Rose, yesterday I mainly watched Cellbit's POV) but he's protected now!! That kinda folds him into Phil's "closer" circle of friends/family since it's primarily them who carries the roses for protection so!!!!! I'm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE TEA!! Yes the tea the way the tea immediately broaches the topic of purgatory, and yeah the audible wince in Phil's voice after Cellbit says the tea triggers him and Phil agrees. Yeah it's so shit and they're both so sick of it but it's so OP. Phil survivalist (hardcore) :handshake: Cellbit survivalist (hunger games/"The War"), do and use what is necessary to keep yourself alive.

And AAA!! Yes, okay okay so like you remember that idea abt Phil and Cellbit having late-night convos at the Order pre-purgatory? This is basically that!! It's late at night, they're getting caught up with each other, they've both got the shitass tea and it's going cold and!! In my head this scene goes on for a full night and they just sit and talk and talk and talk, eventually conking out when it's late, just like old times EXCEPT THEY HAVE THEIR KIDS NOW WHICH IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER, THEIR DESIRE TO FIND THEIR KIDS, AND THEY FOUND THEM!!! (I should write a fic i NEED to write a fic, me vs the 754389 wips in my brain; in my head they still had late night convos in purgatory when their "play time" timers lined up, phil waking up early enough and cellbit staying up late enough for them to talk while the others slept)

The way Cellbit still minces his words abt what he and Bags did post-purg 1 "we had our fun...bolas...style..." is it because he thinks Phil will think less of him? because there's children present? because his SON is present? idk how much Richas knows abt what Cellbit did in purgatory, Richas *did* rescue him while he was fighting eye workers but does he know about Cellbit hunting fellow players for sport? what Cellbit did to his pai Pac? I NEED ANSWERS

Phil's "Dude! No! Oh my god... D:" to when Cellbit says Roier was better off without him. PHIL WAS AT THEIR WEDDING. HE TOOK THE GODDAMN PHOTOS OF THEM AT THEIR WEDDING. HE SAW HOW HAPPY THEY WERE, HOW HAPPY ROIER WAS, WHEN THEY WERE REUNITED IN PURGATORY. Phil isn't close enough to Roier nor speaks to him enough to really understand the full extent of Roier's grief after purgatory 1, but it's gotta be hard for Phil to imagine Roier happy with Cellbit gone. Whether he believes it when Cellbit says "yeah Roier told me he was better" (doied WHEN I GET YOU---) is up for debate but I think about this constantly.

Phil fucking laughing when Cellbit admits he ate some of the eye workers fhdjsk. I can't get over the combo of Cellbit POV (in character thinking: "I'm terrible I'm a cannibal I'm a monster") vs Philza POV (cc who laughs at everything that is even remotely cursed) honestly, taking this as in-character (bc ccPhil doesn't mute his mic to laugh and he...usually does that for ooc bits while in the middle of rp), it says a lot abt qPhil that he's able to just laugh abt an admission of eating corpses. ethics who? geneva convention who? qPhil doesn't know her. munch on those eye workers king they're dickheads. (fuck, DOES qPhil know that Cellbit is a cannibal, as in, he has eaten not just workers but other players?? hmmm...)

"I'm sorry I couldn't do much as bolas leader" "It's better that you didn't see us...I think you'll be disappointed" "oh I could never be disappointed what do you mean shut up *laughs*" GODDDDDDDD also Cellbit trying to say he got worse after purg 1 and Phil saying "nah bolas is already at ground level" (either not understanding or indirectly reiterating that he won't condemn Cellbit for his actions, I can't tell) and then Cellbit just,, going with it. because it's not worth it to argue and he's trying to move past all of that now anyway. (QCELLBIT PROCESS YOUR TRAUMA CHALLENGE LEVEL IMPOSSIBLE)

watching Phil's POV now and HFDJSK you can't hear it on Cellbit's stream but Phil catches Richas as they're both leaving and says quietly, "Take care of your dad, Richas, n' take care." I'M 💥💥💥💥 (<-banging table)

Anyway!! This is what happens when the two characters I'm obsessed with interact for the first time in months. Over-analyzing a 5 minute convo. Sorry, it will happen again :] Praying they stay as neighbors I'd love to see archivists have more interactions!! And yes yes yes yes the tea parties with the kids!! Phil routinely chatting with Cellbit and watching him slowly "regain his color" as he settles back into peaceful life post-purgatory, falls in love with enigmas again. They've always trusted each other when they don't trust themselves, and they're both a Stable Point for the other. I'll miss what we never got to have with the leaders-of-the-Order-having-meetings ideas (timezones, wails) but I'm so excited for new island mysteries!! :D

[tempulian]

Soo about the last ask I did about the Illusionist...

It's fine if you infodump about how Ainé got trapped in her body or vice versa idk, or any other lore :')

I just honestly like the freshness you give with the literal idea of this characters :D

*banging my pots and pans together*

THE FULL ILLUSIONIST BACKSTORY, COME AAND GET IT

tldr: Girl died and was so pissed about it she came back as a ghost wayyyy too fast. Someone revived her body without her in it, and she got stuck on the outside. She had to unwillingly watch the soul in her body brain-fog her way through an entire smp - WHAT SHOULD OF BEEN HER second chance - before giving up. Then she figured out how to travel through dimensions, and became really evil about it when she met this cool spider guy and aided in the murder of an entire royal family.

full story under the cut :]

SOME CONTEXT BEFORE I GET INTO IT:

I've vaguely mentioned it before, but many of the characters featured on my YouTube are from role play servers me and my friends created as early as 2020. Naturally, that means most of their writing was improvised, and very little was planned ahead of time. Aine and Illusionist were made for Whispers and Kingdom, respectively. Whispers happened very organically out of a survival minecraft server, so a lot of the decisions about Aine's backstory were made on the fly. Kingdom's creation was a lot more deliberate, but Illusionist was retroactively fitted into Aine's backstory, so she shares the same writing quirks that come from improvised storytelling. ALL OF THAT TO SAY, these characters were made purely for fun. They aren't my best work when it comes to cohesive writing; They're a little convoluted, a little messy, but they were a lot of fun to play, and that was the goal :)

THE GETTING INTO IT:

Way before the events of Whispers, there was a sleepy little town where a young woman named Erena lived. That town was razed in the middle of the night, and she was drowned in a river after being fatally wounded by none other than Amadeus, the Soldier [ jojenis on instagram]. Erena woke up at the bottom of the river, dead. Her soul had died, and she became a vengeful ghost. She was nothing more than the memories of her old life, but she had every intent to come back and return the favor to the monster that killed her. 

Her plans were immediately halted. She watched as a fae  - named Jophiel, the Lover [also jojenis] - picked up her dead body, and brought it to a hidden bunker. Jophiel successfully found Erena's lost soul, but could not return it into the dead and broken body. Instead, she tenderly placed the soul and the body into the roots of the largest surviving tree in the village.

It should have brought Erena back to her body, but the spell was incomplete. Jophiel was unaware of the ghost already haunting the village and only pulled the soul from death. 

Without the soul's memories... The newly born Dryad became a blank slate. Erena's soul is living a new life without her in it.

Years passed, and Erena learned two important things:

1) she was physically tethered to the Dryad, so she couldn't leave or control anything, and

2) the Dryad was an oblivious idiot.

Erena has been quietly haunting this forgetful Dryad, but she couldn't see or hear Erena. She could instill emotions - dread, fear, sadness, or rage - into her, but nothing coherent enough to explain anything to the Dryad. She always just chalked it up to a deep seeded intuition that she couldn't quite grasp.

Then, the events of Whispers unfold. 

The Dryad finally uncovers the truth of her origins through Amadeus's first hand account, and an old dusty journal that once belonged to Erena...

and the Dryad ignored it.

The Dryad read about Erena, talked to Amadeus, and experienced every bit of rage, fear, and sadness Erena wanted her to feel, but Dryad wanted to define her own life. She wanted to become her own person, and assume her own identity. She knew she was no longer the person that died all those years ago. She didn't have the experiences that made Erena who she was. Without knowing about the ghostly figure haunting her, Dryad decided to move on without looking any deeper into her past. Later down the line, the Dryad would finally become her own person, and pick her name: Aine. 

This enraged Erena. After years and years of trying to communicate with the Dryad, she is just discarded. Erena didn't care that Dryad couldn't possibly know that she was still around. the Dryad decided that Erena's life was unimportant.

She had to sever herself from the Dryad. If her own soul wouldn't help her get revenge on the man that took her life away, then she would make her own...

Erena spent so much of her afterlife sifting through Dryad's head, she figured her influence must stretch beyond just Dryad's mindscape. 

and it did. 

Over the years, as the Dryad forged her own identity, the tether tying the two together began to decay. Aine was no longer part of Erena: she had become her own person, while Erena was still stuck as the girl that drowned in the river. 

Eventually, after the tether disintegrated, Erena found a way to travel in-between realms through the Void (evil worldbuilding shenanigans, just go with me for now). 

She successfully left the realm she used to call home, and ended up settling in Illador, where Kingdom takes place.

She spent her time hopping from mindscape to mindscape, learning about her newfound abilities. She learned she had a particular affinity with nightmares since her dip into the Void, and noticed she began to feel more present, more focused, and more powerful with every new victim.

She kept haunting people's nightmares until she crossed paths with a young Midas [@peitalo]. He proposed a deal that if she helped murder his father, the ruling king of Illador, he would help make her a new body that would be hers. No Dryad, no soul. Just a vessel to possess.

She accepted the deal. She killed his father, killed his mother, and aided in the murder of his older brother, leaving Midas to be the sovereign of Illador. As promised, King Midas helped conjure a vessel that would become a physical shadow that she could control. 

She would don a porcelain mask, and would adopt many names:

The Night terror, The Cleric, The Queen of Illador...

But "The Illusionist" was always her favorite.

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

i read a fic once about achilles being the early-riser in the relationship.

idk about you but i think not lmao. i mean, i see the vision. it's cute, but my brain insists he sleeps 16 hours a day plus 3 naps (yes, like a cat, yes) and then gets zoomies at 2am (moreso in modern maybe bc it can be hard to fuck up your sleep schedule in ancient times)

since i can't resist yapping, here's some

sleep headcanons!

sleep is a really important thing to me obviously.

patroclus: sleeps last but wakes up first. light sleeper because he grew up hypervigilant when referencing tsoa specifically. otherwise, i think he's sort of a heavy sleeper (bc tired) who would wake up when roused by achilles in the middle of the night, would give brief gestures like chuckle or pat his head before going back to sleep but he doesn't remember any of it in the morning.

has a harder time going back to sleep, but he's normal about it. just gets up and does something. can get grumpy at unwanted interruptions but only when he's absolutely sick and tired of being alive (modern hc: a doctor or something so since sleep is hard to come by, he has rough days). sleeps mostly on his back, may start snoring so achilles has to slap him (gently) awake.

when entirely modern, i think he adhered to a routine when he lived with menoetius. so he's kinda used to that too, waking up before the sun is completely up. don't know what to give him as a traumatic experience (like pushing a boy to his death) since obv we can't have that here and i'm kinda bad at hcs, so... let's just say he used to have nightmares about it when he was younger, but not anymore.

big spoon status wearer

achilles: sleeps first, wakes up last. isn't really sleeping deeply sometimes, he just has his eyes closed and his surroundings blurring in and out through sense of hearing. sometimes he also stays in bed in the morning because he knows patroclus likes to stare at him like that, and he enjoys that 100% focused attention before the other decides it's time to do some work. light sleeper, though. glowing green eyes shooting open in the middle of the night and when patroclus is still awake he sometimes gets a scare.

sometimes the greeks would hear shuffling outside their tents and it's just achilles scrabbling around instead of sleeping. sometimes humming. has definitely given one or a few soldiers a heart attack at some point. happened more often when he stopped fighting bc he had all the day to sleep.

can get really irritable when he's sleepy. can also get really irritable when a person he fucking hates (aggy?) yells or makes any noise and he wakes up with a start. ("who the fuck was dropping spears at dawn?!" "agamemnon" "oh if it wasn't him i would have been fine") day ruined, patroclus has to calm him down because his soldiers are quaking in their sandals.

modern: will sleep with a plushie or not at all. anything to hug. patroclus or something.

i intended to end this here but now i have to ramble so read on if you're interested 👍 will have less lighthearted topics.

still modern, sometimes he wakes up because he doesn't want to be on his own defenseless and vulnerable (applies to tsoa because of how he had pyrrhus with deidameia. basically grape. he also said it was dark, so it's not too far off the mark when i assume she went into his room at night and suddenly went at it. his attitude when asked was also giving dissociation, especially after i read this fic on Ao3, bless the author wherever they may be now, that his stay in skyros really impacted him a lot).

or because suddenly the other side of the bed feels cold. he turns around to grasp at his lover's clothes or skin depending on whether or not he slept shirtless, and his hands snatch air. he's expressed his mini heart attacks when this happens, which patroclus acknowledges, but achilles knows he has things to do.

so one day on a particularly rough patch for achilles, he wakes up, finds patroclus gone, and starts to cry until the latter hears this and drops what he's doing in a panic to come see what's wrong.

achilles doesn't speak at first. just clings on to patroclus like he's scared of losing him. and he admits that later on when he's calm enough. that sometimes it just really scares him patroclus has been taken away from him. he doesn't want to say "dead", but it's stuck at the back of his throat and he swallows it down. he does not know where this comes from, but there is a hollow ache in his chest whenever it comes to haunt him.

or, achilles says, is scared of the illogical prospect that he himself has been taken away by god-knows-who or what. scared of waking up among strangers who do not have the best of intentions (again i believe it to have something to do with smth like deidameia incident-- thetis has either a role or is not involved but she has passing remarks that made achilles too shameful to say anything to anyone until patroclus).

but the constant is patroclus being gone.

and patroclus just doesn't know what to say, because he wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes from weird feelings of deep-seated fear, checking with every single one of his senses if achilles is still beside him. he can only calm down when he has checked once, twice, thrice. and he moves to hug him as if it isn't an option to not do so. he is careful not to hug him too tight, as he has done that at one point and it was not a nice awakening for achilles. but he just wants to hold on to him as tight as possible so he does not suddenly vanish.

i guess you could say it is in patroclus' favor that he sleeps last (to see if achilles is still there), and wakes up first (to see, also, if achilles is still there).

but he doesn't say this. instead hugs achilles tighter now for he is awake, and they decide to take that morning very, very slowly.

brainrot so bad it probably wasn't a very pretty read (vocab bad, arrangement bad-) but i had to finish it 😫

[saerins]

To the peeps that have sleeping problems you guys could try bright light therapy. Essentially, you use light to trick your brain into releasing melatonin later or earlier as needed.

So for example, if you're getting sleepy at between 5-7pm, you'd use a bright light (not directly in your eyes) near you to tell your brain that it's still light out (even if it isnt). Then that allows you to learn to sleep "later" (~10pm). Ofc you also need to be able to have a little self-control and resist actually falling asleep before actual night time, be it through moving around, doing light excersise, etc. BUT do not drink caffeine (esp after 12pm), that makes it worse then. (Since caffeine has half-life, if you want to know more just search it up)

You need to do this a while before it becomes effective. It's not a fool proof plan esp when you really can't resist napping, etc. But it's a start.

(The same thing goes when you want to wake up early). For example, I have to wake up at 5am for Uni so I use those smart lights when you can make it slowly turn on at a set time (mine does it from 4:30). It makes your brain realizes that it's morning (even if the sun isn't even out yet) and stop releasing melatonin.

Ofc you also have to stop bad sleeping habits. So if you're an avid user of your phone before you sleep, have a set timer where your phone turns on your blue light filter so that the blue light from your phone doesn't confuse your brain at night and prevent the release of melatonin. Ofc not using your phone before sleep is ideal but that's a hard habit to break so you can start with a blue light filter.

Hope this helps a little!

-💫 anon

here’s to anyone who’s like me and having trouble sleeping !!!

omg nonnie thanks for this it’s so detailed :’) hmm i guess i’ll have to find a really bright table lamp and put it next to me, sometimes i sleep with the lights on so idk if my brain will even register the change 😭 but ill def try this too if the gummies don’t work !! and my bad sleeping habits … haha omg that’s def gonna be a challenge but i’ll try my best :’)

[aticklishpercivalwriter]

Update from Perz!

The quick version: This boy is tired and needs time to recover. Midterms were awful, but the worst of them are done.

Full version: Sorry for no updates. I'm just so drained this week. Statics mentally drained me. I had to end 5 minutes early because I "cheated" since my calculator has the capability to connect to the Internet. I would've gotten an F for the exam, but she's letting it slide as a warning. But my credibility with my prof is shot and any leniency is probably going to be pretty hard to get back. Ugh.

Also, my productivity seems to go down the drain if stuff like midterms come up. I procrastinate which I know is bad, but idk how to get out of it. Any tips you people have?

Last thing, I'm loosing an hour of sleep once the clock strikes 12am. Officially happened 😭. Daylight savings time in the States 😓.

About writing, I'm currently working on a fic. Pairing are lers Hei and Kazu and lees Ae and GamGam. Nicknames for Heizou, Kazuha, Aether, and Gaming respectively. A tickle chase!*

I'll get back to messages and any requests when I feel more in the mood. It's just a lot of priorities. My job interview is coming up this Friday too. Hopefully I can get the summer job 🤞

I hope you all are doing great wherever you are! Happy tickling :)

*More serious things about me below. No need to read if you don't wanna.

*Idk if I should say this. I decided to post it. This was written when I was very sleepy so just know that. Seems like my emotions come out during that time:

I hope you all like the tickling parts in my fics. Ngl, when I read other fics, I feel a bit inferior since a lot of you are very talented in describing scenarios, how the ler tickles the lee, a lee's reactions, and it doesn't feel repetitive and is unique. I tend to overthink and believe that my work isn't that good and I kind of can't bear to work because my brain is mean and tells me that my work isn't going to satisfy you, the readers, even though I get likes, reblogs and nice, encouraging comments, thank you btw ♥️. I usually fall short compared to other people no matter how hard I try. Though, your comments, likes, and reblogs ease my thoughts and bring me more confidence in my work. I just put high expectations on myself, so that's why I spend so long on things to try and make it perfect whether in school or my writing or just anything personal really. Maybe I should cut myself some slack since I'm brand new to the scene? I will not stop writing though because it's a chance for me to express myself and something to indulge in. But yeah, a little something to know about me.

[streamdotpng]

I saw that you wish more people sent in spicy stuff. I can try to make up for it today (tonight?). Honestly, wouldn’t mind a scenario where Wenclair are bloody, and standing over some fool with tried to cross them (idk which au, you’re the expert).

What other spice would you like chef?

I was joking, I honestly don't kind yall simply being wholesome people in my inbox 👌although, it does make me worry a bit bc people might think that's all I do

I'll worry abt it in the future, it's too early rn

I am however, very very sleepy so maybe I simply need to rest more bc my insomnia is kicking my ass and making my brain emptier recently

[daisynik7]

hello darling wife<3 i’m assuming that by the time you read this it’s morning or afternoon, if that’s the case i hope you slept well and had a good fill of breakfast and fluids to start, unless you don’t eat breakfast:) i have arrived for my bi-weekly(?) delivery of love and kisses for my pretty, pretty wife 🥰

one day until friday and then we have the weekend, whether or not you have plans, i hope it’s well spent ...cuddling me, duh. and nanami.  here’s a reminder to do something extra nice for yourself today, and tomorrow, and the day after:) and of course bundle up, blankets in the dryer, and have some hot cocoa. my brain’s been kind of slow to process the change in seasons and colder weather conditions, and it’s just now starting to hit me lol. 

i hope your spirits are kept high even with the colder weather, but if not it’s okay too! <3 i’d very much appreciate it if you’d do for yourself what you wish upon others. tend to your innermost needs, spoil yourself (i will accept no counterarguments 😶), and if it doesn’t financially compromise you, just do it. with work, social life, and this hellish app:/ i hope that in the midst of everything you find yourself and your needs a priority of utmost importance 🫶🏼

my sincerest apologies if the words are not wording, this just reeks of chaos and randomness it's 5 am and my bilingual brain has been brawling with itself lately and my English is actually starting to deteriorate 🫠, i’m also sleepy (i told you your wife is a sleepy girlie, it’s literally morning lol)

anyways I’M SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE PRETTIEST, SWEETEST, WIFE with THE PRETTIEST BRAIN WITH LOTS OF GROOVES AND SQUIGGLIES (i briefly read somewhere that the more texture, the smarter??? idk 😃), i’m saying it again but im so proud of you, even if you just woke up, you’re doing well! 🥹ok bye snookums have a good day! <3 

accurate representation of me rn, need wifey and nanami cuddles asap 😤

snookums! my precious angel, my most decadent sweet! sorry this is a late reply! I've been out all day, but I'm back now, ready for your cuddles! I usually drink iced coffee as my breakfast in the morning whenever I'm working in the office, but tomorrow I wfh, so I may treat myself to a home cooked meal of some sort :)

I treated myself today! I went out with a friend for dinner and we shared chicken karaage, okonomiyaki, and takoyaki! here's pics of it to whet your appetite 😋

we also got boba and chatted in the car for hours, so it was very nice to catch up! I imagine this would be a typical date for you and I, indulging in delicious food, then some sort of dessert after. ♥️ and of course, snuggles to end the night!

make sure you bundle up too! it's been very cold where I am and I have finally broken out the hoodies and sweaters. don't forget your fuzzy socks and beanies (if you wear those)!

thank you for always reminding me to be kind to myself! I've been in a bit of a funk lately, but seeing you in my inbox is a huge help, more than you know. also, please never ever apologize because you are so eloquent and I'm always in awe after reading your lovely messages to me. 🥹 I hope you were able to get enough rest today (you were up early/you stayed up late!), but if not, I hope you can use this weekend to do so.

ahhhhh you are SO PRECIOUS. I'm the lucky one to have you! I love you so so much, thank you for always being so good to me, so sweet, so kind, so absolutely lovely in every possible way. going to fall asleep soon, dreaming of you and nanami, the two most precious loves in my life!! have an amazing weekend snookums!

also this pic is very much an accurate representation of us, don't you think? 😘

[salamanderinspace]

I think I would like to write about my Emotions today.

I'm back on my meds, so pleasantly sleepy most of the time. The hyper sensitivity decreased significantly when I restarted them. A doc suggested to me that the sensitivity thing is actually a common medication withdrawal symptom. I still feel it a bit, but less. I'm coping with it by telling myself, "don't expect to feel good. Nothing is going to feel good. Just go about life."

My brain keeps asking, "why am I alive?" Not a useful query. I know why… I'm a dog/cat servant, at this point, and I'm fine with that. It just seems like my existence creates so much work. It doesn't feel worthwhile, but then what really is worthwhile? Is this depression? Self worth issues? I feel like some things are definitely worthwhile. Rain forests. Volcanoes. Christmas. I'm watching a lot of christmas tiktoks.

I finished a short section of that novel idea that I will probably post sometime. And I'm opening a gallery show tonight, which is nerve wracking. The thing is. I haven't told the gallery this. But I probably won't even go to the opening, because the cost of the Uber is kind of steep. IDK. IDK.

It is 9:30am and I'm intensely hungry for chinese food, specifically. I wake up super early and go to bed super early because of meds and also these massive east-facing windows. It's hard to have a social life on that schedule but I think I need to talk, from my face into someone's face, soon.

My birthday was amazing so maybe I'm just having that post-high crash that people post about. I feel like I should feel more gratitude for my warm bedroom full of Nice Things. I don't feel gratitude. I feel a lust to go adventuring and a pain in my hip that says "do not."

[tazzykiki]

📺🌅🙀✨ For the ask game!

📺 = Favorite Childhood TV Show(s)?

Had to come back to this one because hoooooooooooooooo boy do I have so many that I can't even remember. I practically grew up with tv and spent a good chunk watching it, so uh mannnn. Here's some in no particular order:

-Let's just start right off with Wild Kratts. PBS show about two dudes helping animals live free and in the wild. So popular it always won the vote every Friday to air a double-special. It's also where I got my username, based off my fave ep "Tazzy Chris". ive no idea where kiki comes from.

-Jane and the Dragon <3

-Dreamworks Dragons series, especially Race to the Edge. I practically breathe HTTYD. Sucks they won't let it fuckin rest peacefully!!!!

-Obviously, Transformers Prime. I had a Bumblebee backpack and everything! And that whole almost getting hit by a train ordeal.

-Saddle Club, i watched a bunch of rerun episodes on Pluto TV! I still adore the theme song!

-Winx Club! Sucks they won't let it fuckin rest peacefully!!!!

-Monster High!! They had some lows but hey the new show seems to be wayyyyyy better than the live action movie, tho idk if any new incarnation can live up to the vibes of the first one for me.

-Code Lyoko! I still need to rewatch it(again), and honestly I'm not even sure I finished it. The latest I remember is the William Arc.

-TMNT 2k12! The show has some serious character writing issues and keeps tricking itself into thinking half-assed romance arcs are the peak of story telling but I still very much love it and it has a special place in my heart.

-Ninjago!!!! It recently just ended and I might cry aaaaaaaaaaaaa

-Ben 10 all the way to Ultimate Alien!

OKAY SPEED ROUND:

-Danny Phantom -Incredible Crew -TMNT Fast Forward -Spectacular Spider-man -Ultimate Spider-Man -Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes -Super Hero Squad Show -Teen Titans -Pearlie -Strawberry Shortcake(2003) -My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -Sleepy Hollow -Max Steel -Slugterra -Kim Possible -Lilo & Stitch the series -The Little Mermaid series -Powerpuff Girls -Okay i know this is the speed round but istg I watched cartoon shows The Swiss Family Robinson and Little Women but when I looked them up there was only 80's anime???? Were those my first anime that I remembered completely wrong???????

ANYWAYS THERE'S SO MANY MORE AND THESE ARE LIKE THE ONES I REMEMBER SERIOUSLY LIKING AMONG MANY OTHERS I'M TELLING YOU I'M LIKE PART TELEVISION, MAN.

I also tried to do ones before 2018 as this is childhood, oughhhh my brain is full of many things

🌅 = Early Bird or Night Owl?

While I love the sun, absolutely a night owl. I only get up early when my body forces me to for some reason and then I just end up passing back out.

I am also mostly active near the evening and such, as evident by me answering this near 2am lmaoo

🙀 = Favorite Scary Movie?

I have to be super careful with horror as I get pretty freaked out easily but a few horror movies I love in no particular order:

-The Endless

-The Ritual

-A Quiet Place 1 & 2

-Nope

-Annihilation

-The Cube

-Vampire in Brooklyn(idk if it counts but it's marked as horror so HA)

-Event Horizon

and probably a few others. I know there's some like The Thing, The Ring, and Jeepers Creepers 1 & 2 that I like but aren't exactly my faves.

✨ = If You Could Be Any Supernatural Creature, What Would You Be?

While mermaids are an entire vibe, the ocean is fucking scary!!!!

Maybe a fae? I could shapeshift and do some funny supernatural shit to mess with people. I already love speaking nonsense.