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levi-my-beloved · 3 years ago

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Birds of a Feather

Chapter one

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!reader

Content warnings: violence, swearing

Word count: 4K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.

A/N: asdfghjkl hello there. so, this has been on my brain for a while now, so i started this as just a drabble. what i thought would stay as just a drabble turned into this 22k+ multi chapter fic because i have zero self restraint or self respect. i’m currently finishing chapter 5 as this is being posted, but i want to keep chapters posted around once every two weeks so i can keep up with the workload. maybe once a week if i start feeling spicy. yeah plot twist this is actually the second time i’ve drafted this up. the first time i managed to get everything done and in order and then manages to delete the entire post with my huge disgusting thumbs. Genuinely felt like crying for a good half an hour.

This is also my first Levi fic! yay! lmk if it sucks and idk i’ll cry or something. nah, in all seriousness please send me criticism cuz i really want to improve and critiques are the best way.

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

“How down, Raven?”

“Six feet.”

Within the dank confines of a stinking alleyway, two green capes marked with the Military Police insignia crept ever closer to the taller, run-down building upon which you and your little squad of Shadows were now perched. No sunlight illuminated your position. Not that you’d ever seen the sun, or know what it even looked like, but you based your guesses upon the pathetic rays shining through the grates littering the ceiling of the Underground City.

The language you used with your Shadows, coded words translated to:

‘How do you want them to be dealt with?’

‘Death.’

It was something developed by your late guardian and mentor, Viper. See, you all had aliases in The Nest, your criminal organisation. The leader was often referred to as The Raven, however your mentor preferred to use his own nickname, stemming from his own reputation.

Then come the aliases for your Shadows. Prongs was your second, a tall, stern looking man with the black mask of a stag settled across his features.

Then came Wolf, and you swore the first time you’d set eyes on him, you thought a titan had wandered into the city. He was enormous, all 6ft 6ins of him carved in hard muscle. Slicked back silver hair and a beard that to rival a bear. Similar to Prongs, a mask sat upon his face, resembling that of a snarling wolf.

Following him was Verdant, Scales and Diablo. Your power trio. Though their special talents lay in different professions, get these three together and they were borderline unstoppable. A white mask decorated with three broad maple leaves obscured Verdant’s pretty features, Scales sported a bronze half mask etched with a snake-like diamond pattern, whilst Diablo, your trained escort, had opted for something that accentuated her own gorgeous features, a mask of black leather arcing high onto her brow on the left side, whilst the right arced low by her jaw. Though you were already spoken for, you couldn’t deny the beauty of Diablo. She did wonders when prying information between the legs of a moaning MP.

To your left crouched the twins, Una and Leaf. Una was gifted her name by none other than you yourself, after seeing her accuracy with a rifle. A single shot was all it took, from any distance. She wore no mask, something you’d allowed simply because she’d complained about the sight obstruction when lining up a shot. You’d agreed, but only under the condition that she wore a low hood. Her fiercely protective brother Leaf had chewed you out for that, but you knew he meant well. Leaf was good at what he did, excellent, in fact. Which was part of the reason you kept him on as a Shadow. The larger part was that you were damn fond of him. Of all of them, in fact. You loved every single one of your Shadows. Every single damned member of The Nest, you adored. You were their leader, afterall.

A masked helmet of black leather, similar material to Diablo’s, perched snug upon your own features. The hooked beak and obsidian feathers of a raven decorated the necessity, covering your face and hair, though leaving your lower features visible. It was a rite of passage, for you especially, and it signalled the start of your leadership.

“Una, set up. Verdant, Prongs, roundabout. Wolf…” your eyes slid to the giant man on your right, a dark smile slicing across your mouth. “Heel.”

The boulder of a man visibly sagged, clearly disappointed at your orders whilst the others sprang into action. Prongs and Verdant leapt across the rooftops in separate directions whilst Una removed her rifle from her back, parting her heavy cloak to reveal rounds and rounds of bullets strapped across her body. Leaf nestled closer into her side, whilst the other four took a step back. It was obvious you’d all been at this for a very long time, despite the twins not looking a day older than sixteen. In fact, most of your squad was younger than you, save for Wolf and Prongs, who had served their respective roles twice previously.

Sitting back on your heels, you watched your team get to work, the warmth of pride blossoming in your chest. Whilst you knew Prongs and Wolf were already incredibly skilled, the rest had flourished under your leadership. It had been ten years since you’d witnessed MPs put a bullet through your mentor’s skull. Ten long years since you’d taken up leadership and expanded the reaches of The Nest. Honestly, you were pretty proud of yourself, and none more so than when you watched your Shadows do what they do best.

Taking care of unwanted visitors.

Una took aim, resting the butt of her rifle in the crook of her shoulder, staring down the makeshift scope. She would be ready to take care of the two soldiers if either Prongs or Verdant failed to eliminate their targets.

Speaking of which…

That kernel of pride ignited as your (E/C) eyes followed Verdant’s careful, calculating form dropping from the rooftops above the alleyway, in sync with Prong’s own movements. The two assassins swooped with the grace of a stooping hawk, the silver glint of metal caught your eye as they both brandished their blades, before sinking the steel into the necks of the two soldiers. You didn’t need to be closer to see they were both dead. Expert precision. Deadly accuracy. That was why these people were your hand-picked Shadows. And why you were the most formidable gang leader in the Underground City. Your little criminal organisation had expanded into something to rival the killcount of Kenny the Ripper. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

Una lowered her weapon, strapping it back in the buckles between her shoulder blades.

“Finished.” she simply stated, turning back to drop down between the shattered tiles and splintered ceiling beams that marked your entrance and exit to this lookout point.

“Rendezvous back at The Nest,” you ordered flatly, before dropping forward and into the alleyway below.

“Anything?” you ask, a brow raised behind your raven mask as you saunter over. Prongs held up two sets of blades from one of the crimson bodies now gathering dirt and grime. Useless to you as they were, but somebody would definitely find an interest in them. Verdant seemed to be struggling with the straps of whatever gear these mosquitoes used to fly around. You’d never been able to figure out how to use it, but that shit made good money when in doubt. However, your usual buyers had disappeared off the face of the city, and you’d noticed a decline in gear sales since then. Gritting your teeth, you shook your head to Verdant, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t. It’s not worth it. The thug trio haven’t been back in years. I doubt they’d return to us now,” you explain softly, prompting the girl to stop her struggles and huff defeatedly. You’re heart ached softly at the thought of him, but you pushed the feeling down.

“Here,” she muttered, handing you another rifle. It seemed to be a newer model, something of an upgrade for Una.

“You did good, Ver. I’m proud of you,” that seemed to immediately lighten the girl’s mood, her eyes shining behind her mask as her mouth widened into a toothy grin.

“Thanks Raven!” she beamed, before scampering off back to The Nest, almost forgetting to take the gun back from your outstretched hand in her haste to make it back and tell everyone she’d received a compliment from you. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence. Rather it only happened once in a blue moon…

A huffed chuckle had your head turning and eyes narrowing to your second in command.

“Can I help you?” you ask, your tone dripping with the poisonous threat of hell if he chose his next words poorly. But Prongs continued to smile ever so slightly, shaking his head.

“Not at all, Raven. It’s just, in the last few years, since you drafted her into the Shadows, she’s really come into her own,” Prongs explained simply, shrugging as she stooped to kick over the now drained corpse, hoping to find anything useful. You bristle ever so slightly. That was something you hated. Compliments. How the fuck were you supposed to respond? You tried to think back to when Viper tried to teach you simple social skills.

“Uh, yeah. She has,” you respond, keeping your features as neutral as you could as you turned away, beginning to trudge back to The Nest.

“I’m serious, Rave. You’ve done incredible things for us. You know Viper would be proud of you. I am too. But…” Prongs trailed off, clearing having something to say but not knowing how to say it.

“Go on. But what?” you pressed, wanting to hear what your second in command had to say.

“Well, don’t you think it’s a bit much? Rave, it’s been years. Eyes have started looking in our direction since those three vanished. You don’t think we should be lying low for a bit? Calming suspicions instead of rousing them?” Prongs offered gently. You knew, deep down, he was right. But some notable gang disappearing hasn’t stopped you before, and it sure as hell wouldn’t stop you now.

“I’ll talk to Scar about it,” even just the mention of your advisor, and wife’s name gave your stomach butterflies. Scarlett Obsidine, your other, and better, half. After the disappearance of a certain dark haired man, Scar was the woman who comforted you, and though you missed him dearly, your heart managed to haphazardly piece itself back together and love all over again.

“Rave, listen—“

“Let’s go,” Prongs closed his mouth, the tone of your voice stating clearly that this matter wasn’t up for discussion. Especially not with him.

⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈

“You know he’s right,” you couldn’t help but sigh when your wife’s soft tones calmed your irritated mood. Soft hands gently kneaded at the tense muscles in your shoulders, forcing them to relax as a tired moan escaped your lips. Leaning back, you peer into her shining sapphire eyes, locks of brunette framing your face as she took the sides of your cheeks in her hands and leaned down, softly pecking your lips with her own. You couldn’t help humming a smile against her mouth, reaching up to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away before you could.

“Scaaaaar…” you pout, looking up at her mischievous smirk as she winked playfully.

“(Y/N)...” Scarlett sighed, swinging her legs over your body to sink into your lap, one thumb now caressing one of the most prominent features on your face. A nasty, jagged scar ran down from the the top of your forehead, over your right eye and finishing just past your jaw bone. One (E/C) iris lighter than the other as a result of the old wound. Soft lips chase away the shadows of your past as Scarlett replaced her thumb with her mouth.

“(Y/N), I don’t want to find you dead in some alleyway because you picked a fight you couldn’t win,” a finger poked your chest as she huffed above you, feigning irritation. You roll your eyes, (E/C) landing on your gear now strung across the table. That raven helmet almost calling to you as you shook your head. Disagreeing with your wife was never a good idea, but you were feeling particularly bold this evening.

“Look. So many jobs have opened up recently. We have so many opportunities to make this life more comfortable. More jobs means more money, more money means we can afford the gate toll and actually see the world above ground. And I can finally buy you an actual ring.”. Technically, you two weren’t married. Who the fuck would be stupid enough to perform marriage ceremonies in the underground City? But, it was easier than saying you were devoted to each other in every single way.

Lightly smacking your chest, Scarlett raised herself from your lap with a hefty sigh. “One of these days (Y/N), you’re going to be captured or killed,” she said quietly, unable to meet your eyes. “And then what the hell will I do…?” Scarlett had now completely turned away from you, shoulders hunched. Running a hand down your face, you pick your sore body up from the chair, reaching her in a matter of strides.

“I can’t give this up, Scar. You know that. You knew that when you chose to be with me. You knew The Nest was always going to be my priority,” you held out your arm, hand hovering over her back, not sure whether to comfort her or let her go. The admission almost had her in tears, you could tell by the way her shoulders shook ever so gently.

“You still miss him don’t you?” It was her vulnerable, defeated tone that alerted you to the slight change of topic.

You fell silent, not really knowing how to respond. Yes, of course you missed him. You loved him more than anything. But those days are over, you knew that. You’d cried enough those following nights after his disappearance.

He was probably dead anyway.

“Of course I do,” you wouldn’t lie to her. That wasn’t fair. But you knew the truth was just as painful for her.

“Will I ever be enough? Will I ever be enough to replace him?” the sound of her voice had your heart in pieces. You loved Scarlett. You really did. But your heart wouldn’t let you love her wholly. Part of yourself will always be dedicated to that grumpy kid you’d fallen for all those years ago.

“Scar… I—”

“I know,” she whispered, stepping forward away from your outstretched grasp. “I know,” you watched as the woman you loved, and who loved you, stepped from your shared quarters, hovering in the doorway. “I’m sorry I asked,” she closed the door as she left, leaving you a frustrated, conflicted mess.

⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈

“Understood, I’ll bring them in right away. Thank you Niles,” The Commander of the MPs stood opposite Erwin, arms folded. An expression of irritation plastered on his sunken features. Erwin simply sighed, realising Niles was wanting to stay for this seemingly impromptu meeting. With a nod of his head, a cadet rushed off to find the two soldiers mentioned in their little conversation. Being Commander of the Scouts often had its perks, like having cadets around to run errands for him.

Niles cleared his throat, taking a seat on the green leather sofa within Erwin’s office. “You sure he’d help us? I mean, it wasn’t too long ago he actually decided killing you was probably a bad idea.”—he raised a thin brow, peering at Erwin with barely concealed suspicion—“I’m pretty sure the Underground City would be the last place he’d want to return.” a knock at the door cut their conversation short, both turning their heads as Erwin called;

“Enter.”

Hange was the first to make her presence known, poking her head in as she opened the door. A smile adorned the slightly dishevelled section commander, her hair sticking up in all directions. Clearly she had been in the middle of something when Erwin requested her presence.

“You asked to see us, Erwin?” her eyes sparkling with curiosity behind her glasses as she stepped through the door.

“Tch, just make it quick, I have shit to do,” the monotone voice of Levi behind her made Erwin pinch the bridge of his nose. How many times has he told him not to talk to him like that?

“Yes, come in and make yourselves comfortable.” Hange immediately took up a seat next to Niles on the sofa, Levi preferring to stand against the now closed door, arms folded. Erwin’s sharp eyes shifted to Niles, an indication for the MP Commander to speak.

“Well, no point in beating around the bush. We’ve received an anonymous tip about some criminal gang that’s been plaguing my soldiers in the Underground City.” Levi visibly stiffened at the mention of his old home. His jaw tensed in anticipation. There would be only one reason he would be called into such a discussion, and the answer was a firm no.

Without his permission, his mind flashed back to a (H/C) girl, her face etched with that ever mischievous smirk. He quelled the thoughts as quickly as he could. He needed his wits with him, and allowing his mind to wander back to what he’d left behind wouldn’t help anything. Besides, the likelihood of you being alive was close to none.

“Section Commander, I don’t suppose you would have heard of the group but Captain Levi here surely would have done. The Nest.” Niles continued, now eyeing Levi to gage his reaction. And for a man whose emotions were usually on a tight leash, this seemed to be what cracked his impenetrable walls. His eyes flew wide open, frantically searching between Niles and Erwin. They couldn’t be serious. The Nest? That was where Farlan and Isobel used to—

Shit, he really needed to keep his thoughts at bay. But what he did know was that The Nest was an impenetrable fortress of criminal activity. Trying to mess with them was suicide.

“Judging by your reaction, I’m going to assume you are familiar with them, Levi,” Erwin’s surprisingly calm tone eased the growing tension in the room. Taking a subtle breath to calm himself, Levi’s eyes narrowed to his commander.

“Yeah. I know of it. Why?” it was a rhetorical question, he already knew why, but he wanted to hear it from Erwin himself. Hange looked incredibly confused, looking between the men in the office, trying to glean something, anything, about what the hell was going on.

“The Nest? Why are they so bad?” she asked, not afraid to show how completely oblivious she is to anything that doesn’t concern titans or science. Erwin gestured to Levi.

“Levi? Care to explain? You probably know more than myself and Niles combined,” though his voice seemed kind, there was a slight edge to his deep tones. One that didn’t go unnoticed by Levi.

A heavy silence filled the room as the Captain wracked his brain for all the information he could think of regarding the organisation. It seemed like hours before he finally spoke.

“Well, you got one thing right. The Nest is a criminal organisation. A nasty one at that. Merciless bastards. Whether you’re a soldier or a citizen, they don’t give a shit. They’ll leave you a broken, bloodied mess in the street. I don’t know much about their leader. Only that he took over from the previous one around ten-ish years ago. Since then, they’ve expanded their shitty little gang and taken over an entire section of the city,” he explained, poison lacing his tone. It wasn’t that he was above the whole gang thing, oh no. It was more the state Farlan would be in before he left to meet whoever the fuck led that group of demons. He’d never seen his friend so anxious. So afraid.

“You never met him? Their leader?” Erwin inquired, lacing his hands together on the desk in front of him. Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“If I had, I would tell you. But I know he’s smart. And not the good kind of smart. The kind of smart where he would always be ten steps ahead of you. He has a small group of trusted criminals surrounding him at all times, called his Shadows. They’ll be the ones to look out for,” Despite his voice sounding bored, Levi’s heart was racing. They couldn’t seriously be thinking of facing The Nest, could they? But something in the expressions of both Niles and Erwin told him he was wrong. Dead wrong.

“They’ve been picking off my soldiers. Always in the same places as well. I was going to leave it, just tell them to avoid certain areas until this tip. Their next job. We know what it is,” Niles interjected, looking down to the floor, his own mind a whirlwind.

“And you want to intercept them. The same way you did with me, right?” Levi finished through gritted teeth. This was absurd. There was no way they could pick them all off. Unless… that wasn’t the goal. Levi’s grey eyes widened slightly, realising what they wanted to do. Yep, this was total suicide. Hange clapped her hands together almost excitedly, as if she was also able to read Erwin’s mind.

“You want to capture him! The leader! Ah! This all makes so much sense now, I was starting to wonder why I was here,” the scientist mused almost to herself, before jumping to her feet. “This is the perfect opportunity to test some of the concept traps I have in mind. Obviously for titans they’d need to be much, MUCH bigger. And of course a few modifications would have to be made so they could adapt to size and body type but oooooooh this is so exciting! I’ll start right away!'' Without allowing anybody to get a word in edgeways, Hange dashed back to her lab to begin her preparations.

“Thank you Erwin, the Military Police will remember this,” Niles said, before he too was rising from his seat. Throwing Levi an unsure glance, he made his way towards the door, only to be shoved into the hallway by Levi, who promptly closed the door behind him.

“Don’t.” he simply said, turning back to Erwin who was peering at him, his expression puzzled. Levi rolled his eyes again, clearly having to clarify what he meant. “Don’t pursue them. It’s suicide,” The Commander’s expression relaxed slightly in understanding.

“We don’t have a choice, Levi. Not only are hundreds of MPs being slaughtered down there, but relationships between the Scouts and the MPs are strenuous at best. It would be in our best interests to—“

“Bullshit.”

Erwin sighed again, having to hold his tongue. Snapping at Levi now for his language would only rile up the man more.

“Levi, we already have a plan in motion. There are soldiers down there now meeting whoever gave us that anonymous tip to further discuss the job The Nest has taken. It’ll be fine, but you’re going to have to trust me.” Erwin’s eyes bore into Levi’s own, the man once again asking his Captain to trust him in a risky call he’s made. Levi’s done it so many times before, why was it so difficult now?

It took yet another pregnant silence before Levi eventually yielded.

“Fine, but don’t be surprised when we’re once again forced to retreat with our tails between our legs.” it was a savage comment, but one that Erwin didn’t take to heart as he watched the raven haired man leave. Yes, this was a risk, but all his risks so far had worked out fairly well. There was no reason why this one would fail. No reason at all.

Levi leant against the door to Erwin’s office, looking down the hallway before letting loose a long breath. Not only would he have to go toe to toe with The Raven, but he also had to face so much of his past he’d wanted to forget. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. Why did Erwin always have to gamble? It was exhausting for everyone else involved.

Folding his arms, the shorter man strode back to his own office, lost in thought the entire way. Would he see you again? Were you even alive? Did you know just how much he had missed you. Just how much he’d wanted to see you again. To hold you again.

Did you know he’d looked for you? How his heart shattered over and over again each time he found no trace of you. He’d never accepted you were gone. Always holding onto that thorn of hope that maybe, just maybe, you’d survived.

Collapsing in his chair behind his desk, Levi unlocked the bottom draw and gently pulled it out. He delicately picked out a small, ebony bird feather you’d crafted into a quill pen. Even though neither of you knew how to write, you knew back then how much he had wanted to learn despite never voicing it directly. All those nights spent copying out basic letters from discarded newspapers and wanted posters. You always had this way of reading his mind.

The smallest fond smile crept across his usually bored face. God he missed you. It had been years and he still missed you like he only lost you yesterday.

#levi attack on titan #captain levi #snk levi #levi x reader #aot x reader #aot x y/n #aot x you #levi x you #levi x y/n #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you

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villanelleskiss · 3 years ago

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KILLING EVE SEASON 3 EPISODE 8 REVIEW

alright so we have a lot of bases to cover in this episode.

but i want to say first that if you have been sticking around to read all of these reviews, i thank you so much. this has been something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, as you often miss a lot of things watching thru for the first time. so i wanted to take notes and really look at things critically to put together theories and plot points.

all in all, i wrote 31 pages of notes for this series that consisted of hundreds of screencaps. and while this might be the end of this season, i will be picking this back up for season 4 as we wrap the series up for good.

so we get a one on one with villanelle and carolyn since season 1, where villanelle is offering to take her position up at MI6, and by the tensity in the air, i get the feeling that carolyn has a long list of people who she wants the dirty laundry taken out on. but villanelle tells her that she is no longer interested in killing. and i think villanelle hoped for a different response because carolyn turns down what she has to offer and states that if villanelle isn’t going to kill that she has no use for her.

this ballroom scene is just *chefs kiss* perfection. honestly, this scene is better than sex imo.

there’s a quote in pretty little liars where alison is talking to emily about practicing dancing for prom and she says “nobody ever tells you that the practice is better than the real thing” and i think that is a perfect quote for this moment between them.

eve knows that something has happened to villanelle, that the mood has shifted, that she’s sad and she doesn’t want to see that so she offers to dance with her to make her feel better. they fall into comfort with each other and even talk about growing old together. absolute babies!!

also shoutout to that person who mentioned the face switch from Oksana to Villanelle in this part. i would post the gif here if i could because wowee!!

she’s still got it!

(even if she apologized to Rhian before she beat the shit out of her)

this is it. the best scene in the entire series. “Dear Geraldine, I think it’s time you left”

speaking to everyone in the killing eve fandom in 8 short words.

*not pictured* but we see Eve retrieve a package from some betting site, and her have a run in with Konstantin, who is trying to take the money and run. he does not plan on taking villanelle with him. despite what everyone thinks.��

Carolyn also finds out that Konstantin was involved in Kenny’s death and i do not believe that Kenny just fell. it’s too easy. something else happened to him and i think that Carolyn chose not to shoot him because she wants to find out about it. but she does have a nice quote “it’s worse than MI6 in here”

then right after she leaves, Villanelle comes in and scares the shit out of all of the bitter pill people

“the good ones i pickle, the bad ones, you don’t want to know.”

this scene is another top 10 of the series. acting like children, Carolyn is so over it.

but i think this part here lets us know that Carolyn is going to end up being a good guy and not part of the 12 (at least i think so) unlike how the show has set it up to be so far. and if she isn’t part of it, she probably used to be.

and when Carolyn has him on his knees begging for his life, he is screaming out for Villanelle to help him. but the look on her face suggests that she wants Carolyn to kill him. she realizes in that moment that he only wants her for what she can give him.

“you’re not family!” but Eve is.

but Carolyn says something weird here about her being the cause of Kenny’s death, idk if this is just some weird reverse psychology thing or what? idk.

she mentions going cold turkey, going into hiding and letting it go.

“when i think of my future, i just see your face over and over again”

eve tells villanelle that she is so many things, and goes on to talk about how we all have monsters inside us and that their monsters compliment each other.

but she asks villanelle to help make it stop, and she has them turn their backs to each other and walk away, you can see a tear slip down eve’s face. she doesn’t want to walk away. then there’s the song, and they turn around!!

they turn around!!

eve chooses to let her monster run rampant rather than let villanelle go. she chooses her. they choose each other. because they are all either has left and they are now each others family.

overall, this season was very hit and miss and i agree with everyone when they said that the two of them needed to spend majority of the season apart to grow so they could come together in the end. so while we didn’t get a lot of villaneve content this season, this season made what parts they did have very special.

episode rating 10/10

overall season rating 8/10

this series is very special to me and so are all of these characters, so here is to season 4 being the best one yet go wrap their amazing stories together in a way that does them each justice

#killing eve #villanelle #eve polastri #villaneve #killing eve review

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phantom-curve · 4 years ago

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find the strength, find the melody pt. 7

lmfao I love how I posted an update 2 days ago like “this fic will have sporadic posts! idk when they’re coming!” and then I spent the last two days writing this. when that insomnia inspiration hits ya gotta just go with it!

this chapter went in a completely different direction than I had planned on soooo yeah...honestly not sure where this is gonna end up! the characters from my OC novel that I’m loosely basing this story around didn’t have a connection before they ran into each other so when Julie gave me this I almost cut it because I genuinely wasn’t sure where it was going. I think I’ve almost figured it out and I’m pretty sure I know how this will end. and now we all get to laugh at me together because it’s definitely gonna be more than 3-4 chapters. it might even be more than 6. Luke’s POV will have roughly the same amount of chapters I think, possibly longer because boy oh boy does he have A LOT to say (most of it about Julie). fair warning: this one has an awkward cut off because of the way I need to set up the next chapter. sorry about that.

and now something I probably should be embarrassed to admit: I don’t remember writing the part where I managed to sneak an “I’ve Got The Music” reference in so now we know for sure this show has infiltrated my brain. it’s fine, I’m fine, at least I WILL BE WHEN WE GET A S2!!!! KENNY!!!! SAVE ME HERE!!! MAKE MY UNHINGED OBSESSIONS WORTH IT!!!!!

taglist: @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles, @bluefyoto94, @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder, @kat-maybe-not, @lukewearingbeanies, @imastrugglingartist

It was no small miracle that Julie made it through the afternoon without Ray asking for details about her supposed ‘plan’ to play with the Sunset Curve boys. She didn’t think she would have been able to pull off spinning a story quite as well as Luke had earlier. She had expected at least a small amount of interrogating about when she had started playing again, but apparently the news that she was playing at all, let alone with other people in front of an audience, was enough for Ray to ignore all of the other plot holes involved in this scheme. He seemed to have almost forgotten the meeting with Principal Lessa entirely, humming on the drive home, kissing her forehead and turning her loose to freak out alone in her room while he sat down to work on his computer in the dining room. Julie took full advantage of the time alone to restlessly pace her room and send Flynn a 911 text. Her bestie’s contact photo lit up the phone screen 30 seconds later.

“Okay, I’m hiding in the basement girl’s bathroom, so you’ve got exactly 5 minutes before I get too grossed out to stay here.”

Julie’s chest loosened at the sound of Flynn’s comforting voice. There wasn’t anyone else in the world that loved her the way Flynn did. It was reassuring and made it easy for Julie to let loose.

“Lessa told Dad about the music program and then You-Know-Who ambushed us outside of her office and basically forced me to agree to perform with them.”

“Voldemort was at Los Feliz?!”

Flynn’s gasp was overflowing with sarcasm.

“Flynn!” Julie whined. “Be serious! Luke showed up out of nowhere again! And he did the thing again! The charming his way into getting what he wants thing! And now I have to play with his freaking band! What the hell am I supposed to do?”

There was silence for a moment. When Flynn spoke again her voice was softer, more serious.

“You don’t have to play with them, Jules. You can tell them no, and they’ll have no choice but to respect that. The only person who can make you do anything is you. But...I kinda think you might want to play with them.”

“What?! No!”

Julie’s exclamation was a second late. Flynn didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. Julie sighed.

“Okay fine. There’s something about Luke that makes me want to play again. Are you happy? He gave mom’s song back to me when I thought it was lost forever. He’s the only person who’s heard me perform it, and he...no one else has ever made me feel that good about my music before.”

Julie thanked her lucky stars Flynn wasn’t in the room to see her blush. There was a long moment of contemplative silence on the other end of the line. When she spoke again, there was that extra note of take-no-shit in Flynn’s voice that made Julie sit up and really listen.

“I think you should give it a chance. Who knows, maybe this is some sort of sign from your mom. You said it was a miracle he would have even found that song in the first place. You said it felt like she was there with you when you were playing. Maybe she made sure it would find its way back to you when you were ready for it.”

Julie didn’t say anything, just worried her bottom lip with her teeth. Her heart beat a little faster in her chest. It had felt a little too perfect to be just a coincidence. The way Luke kept appearing in her life at the exact moments she needed him someone or something to help her keep moving forward. Flynn sighed.

“Look, I’m not saying it is your mom. But I’m not saying there’s not some kind of greater power out there that keeps pushing the two of you together. I think you should give it a chance. If nothing else, you can get back in the music program and we can bring Double Trouble to life in time for our Junior Showcase!”

Julie couldn’t help laughing. Her eyes felt misty, love for her best friend welling up in her heart.

“I never agreed to that name you know. But thanks, Flynn. I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now. I gotta get the fuck out of this grimy ass bathroom. Love you, bye!”

Flynn waited for her to return the sentiment before hanging up. Julie flopped back on her bed, letting her breath out in a loud whoosh as she hit the comforter. A glance at her phone told her she only had a couple hours until Luke and the other boys would be out of school and on their way to her house. She tried her best to ignore the way that thought made her stomach roll with a type of nervousness she would rather not name. It was easier to blame it on nerves over playing with new people rather than nerves over playing with Luke. Except...now that she actually thought about it, she had played with Luke before. Her head spun, eyes fluttering shut as she remembered the one music class she had shared with Luke last year.

She had only been a freshman, stuck in a lowly Introduction to Composition class. It was supposed to be for new songwriters. Julie had a little more experience than the rest of the class, after all she’d been kind of composing with her mom for a few years now, so when it had been time to write a duet for their final big project she had gotten paired up with the classmate whose skill level most matched hers. It was supposed to be a way for them to challenge each other and grow as writers instead of one person doing most of the work. Julie had been paired with Luke.

He’d been a grumbly sophomore, held back for failing his last semester of Intro to Comp the year before. He had been stuck there only for the second semester, forced to double up between their class and his second year Composition class. Julie hadn’t been all that excited about partnering with him. He hadn’t really seemed to care about the class at all, and even though Julie also sometimes felt like it was holding her back a little bit, she never once voiced that thought. It was a privileged mindset, and Julie was well aware that she had an advantage over her classmates since her mother was a professional songwriter. Luke, on the other hand, had made it well known that he felt like he was wasting his time just waiting to get through the semester so he could move up to the Advanced Composition class that he felt he truly belonged in. Julie could usually do no more than roll her eyes in those moments.

It was true that Luke was talented. His guitar playing was impressive, his lyrics were heartfelt and sometimes even downright poetic. Julie just didn’t think anyone deserved specific things in life because they happened to be naturally talented at something. Their songwriting experience had been...interesting to say the least. And short. It had ended abruptly when Julie’s mother had died 5 days later. In the end, they’d only worked together for two 40-minute class periods before she had been lost in the fog of grief that consumed her in the weeks following the loss of her mom.

Julie shot up in bed, eyes wide. She didn’t even fully remember what had happened with the half-finished song they had been working on. Errant notes echoed in her head, like a song that had only existed in dreams until now. She absently wondered if Luke had held onto that as well. It was no wonder she had kept that particular memory suppressed all this time. That time in her life had been particularly painful. Luke had been gentle with her though. Almost all traces of his typical arrogance gone in the two short class periods they’d had to work together. He had kept things light, steering their songwriting in the direction of a rock ballad more than a true duet. Julie hadn’t minded. She had been floating through classes by then anyway, on edge every second she was away from her mom’s bedside. It had been easier to work on something that didn’t have as many sappy emotions attached to it.

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. No wonder Luke had been so sweet with her. He must have had a front row seat to her breakdown throughout the last year. She hadn’t even realized it. Had never before seen the way he watched her from a distance, checked in on her during class. She should have. Now that she was thinking about it, trying to identify every instance, she could name a million. How had she missed it for so long? How had he gone so long without saying anything? The Luke she remembered was terrible at keeping his mouth shut. He had always been ready to speak his mind, never afraid to start a discourse. It didn’t track that he had been holding himself back. Unless...it was more about her musical ability than anything else. She remembered now; Luke had been thrilled to partner with her for the duet. He had made some remark about how her sound was the perfect complement to his. Maybe he only cared about the ways they would mesh as songwriters. She could only hope that’s what his words had meant.

She felt more secure in her footing as a musician when it came to dealing with Luke than she ever had as a simple teenaged girl. If it was just about the music she could compartmentalize better, keep herself from getting too emotionally invested. Music had always been a safe zone, neutral. She breathed in and out deeply, remembering the technique Dr. Turner had taught her to slow her breathing and recenter her mind. She could do this. It was just about the music. They would play a song together, Julie would get back into the music program, and life would move forward much in the way it had before. Except Julie would actually participate in class this time. She had the music back in her soul, she wasn’t ever going to let it go again. On her next exhale, she heard the doorbell ring. Showtime. Julie zipped down the stairs, ripping open the door before her dad had a chance to get more than three feet away from his computer. Luke, Alex and Reggie all stumbled back a step as she tumbled outside, pulling the front door shut behind her. The three teenaged boys shared a look.

“Studio. Now.”

Julie raced down the path to her mom’s studio before they could react, not even waiting to see if they followed her. If they were smart, if they truly wanted to do this, they would. She hauled the garage doors open, only turning around when she had the piano at her back. The wood felt warm and solid, almost like she had her mom as a support behind her instead of an instrument. The boys appeared seconds later, Luke leading the way. He stopped a couple feet inside of the studio, studying her with wide open earnest eyes. She let out a deep breath. Reggie spoke up before she could get a word out.

“Woah, Julie, this studio is so cool! It’s like a tiny home! A musical tiny home in a botanical garden!!”

His green eyes were wide, expression awed as he spun to take in the space that Julie and her mom had spent countless hours turning into theirs.

“How did you get chairs on the ceiling?! Are you, like, a witch and a siren?!! Man, you and your mom must have made some serious magic in here.”

Luke’s arm shot out faster than lightening to backhand Reggie’s bicep. Reggie cringed away, a soft owww! just barely audible over the loud sigh Alex let out as he buried his face in his hands. Reggie shrugged, looking back and forth between his bandmates before giving Julie a confused yet apologetic glance. What had he said wrong this time? The giggle that bubbled out of her was as unexpected as it was welcomed. Warmth blazed in her heart, memories of the time she had spent in here with her mom washing over her with a kind of hazy bliss she hadn’t ever experienced before. She gazed at Reggie, letting that same feeling of motherly love from the night before fill her up. It was all she could do not to react to Luke’s jaw dropping when she gave Reggie a soft smile.

“We did. We made so much magic in here.”

The words were gentle and filled with a kind of genuine love that overshadowed all other feelings of awkward nervousness. Alex and Luke relaxed instantly, Reggie’s face losing all traces of uncertainty as he beamed at her with a smile so large it almost looked painful. Julie couldn’t help but let herself return it, just a little bit. The silence that settled between them was more comfortable, the tense moment from earlier broken. Julie studied the boys in front of her. She hadn’t ever thought of them as friends per se. They knew each other, would say hi if they encountered one another outside the walls of the high school, but at the same time, they didn’t actually know each other. Julie’s little run in with Luke the night before had made that painfully obvious. She wasn’t really sure what to make of them.

“Are you guys actually serious about this whole Showcase scheme? Did Luke even tell you about his dumb plan?”

“Hey! That plan is genius. Even your dad agreed. He seems pretty cool.”

Julie couldn’t help the fond way she rolled her eyes. Alex was quick to reassure her that they did, in fact, know about the plan.

“Not that I actually think it’s a particularly well thought out plan.” He stated with a lingering glare at Luke’s back.

The planner in question did his best to ignore the skeptical look on Julie’s face.

“Julie, you really don’t deserve to be out of the music program.” Reggie’s voice was soft and sincere. “You have the voice of an angel. If we can help convinced Ms. Harrison and Principal Lessa to give you your spot back it will be so worth it. And even if we don’t, it’ll be worth the looks on their faces when we rock the pants off that crowd!”

Julie laughed in spite of herself, slightly reassured even as she chewed nervously on her lip. Luke took a few bouncy steps forward, pulling her attention to him completely. His eyes locked on hers and she was sure she was drowning, throat tightening at the look he was giving her.

“You got this. I wouldn’t have come up with this idea if I didn’t believe it 100%.”

Honestly, that was what scared her the most about it.

“We don’t even have anything prepared.”

Her voice was barely a whisper, unsteady and wavering. Luke took a few more steps towards her, Reggie and Alex ghosting along silently a few feet behind him. Julie didn’t even notice, so laser focused on the brunette boy in the cut-up tank top in front of her. She watched his muscles flex as he reached into his back pocket, flicking out a piece of folded up paper in a move scarily reminiscent of when he had given her mom’s song back to her. He bit his lip, head ducking a little to be closer to hers as he unfolded the worn sheets of scrappy notebook paper. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, focusing on the messy handwriting in front of her.

“I thought you would say that.”

The smile on his face was so soft and sweet it should have been illegal.

“It’s called ‘Bright’. It’s a Sunset Curve song that we never performed because it’s missing something. Look,” his bare shoulder brushed hers as he shifted to point at the notes, warmth seeping through the thin material of her t-shirt, “it’s perfect for your range. I was thinking, if we add a little bit of piano here and here,” fire blazed a path up her arm as his fingers traced along the opening notes and chorus, forearm flexing against her own, bare skin brushing in teasing licks, “it’ll be perfect.”

Julie forced herself to focus on what he was saying, eyes roving across the paper. She hummed a little under her breath, hearing what he described in her head. His eyes lit up when he saw her get it, feet springing up and down as he dipped even closer towards her and started to sing.

We will rise, through the night

You and I

We will fight to shine together

Bright forever

His voice vibrated in her chest, the sound filling her with an emotion she couldn’t fully identify. Alex and Reggie bobbed along behind him, Reggie’s fingers plucking out the baseline on an invisible guitar while Alex nodded along to an unseen beat. Julie could envision the way the song would sound with a complete band, could practically see herself fitting seamlessly into the mix with her piano and vocals. She couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips as she joined in, reading the lyrics off of the page.

And rise through the night,

You and I

We will fight to shine together

“Go up high.”

Luke cut in, fingers twirling towards the ceiling. Julie automatically made the adjustment in notes to harmonize her voice with his for the last line, holding the final syllable for a beat longer than him.

Bright forever

“Yes!”

Luke’s arm pumped up and down, bicep flexing and distracting Julie momentarily. She dropped her head shyly, trying to hide her blush. When her cheeks cooled a moment later she looked back up at the boy in front of her. His eyes were glowing, smile stretched a mile wide as he stared at her. Unconditional belief in her was practically oozing from his pores. She felt her face soften as their eyes locked, giving him her own sweet smile that was meant just for the two of them. She thanked him with a gentle murmur, heart melting as he simply bit his lower lip and nodded.

A throat cleared in the background, and Julie was snapped out of their private bubble by the sound. Her entire face felt engulfed in flames as she looked over Luke’s shoulder to see Alex and Reggie still standing a few paces behind him. Reggie’s face was bright, his sunshine temperament back in full force. Alex was a little more guarded, but he was giving her an encouraging smile and there was cautious optimism swimming in his sage green eyes as he fiddled with one of his drumsticks. She inhaled deeply and let her breath out in one smooth exhale. The same sort of peacefulness from the night before settled over her.

“Okay. Okay, so we’re doing this.”

Luke’s whoop was so loud both her and Alex jumped. Reggie raced forward with a cheer to sling one arm around Luke’s shoulders and the other around Julie’s, pulling them so close to his chest that their noses nearly touched. Julie saw the blush staining Luke’s cheeks and felt her own warm to match. Alex coughed again.

“Reg, c’mon. Let it settle for just a sec before you go all human octopus on the poor girl.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, Jules!!”

Reggie released both of them quickly. Julie flicked her gaze between the three boys, enjoying the glimpses at their band dynamic. Alex’s words had sounded a bit exasperated, but there was a fondness running through them as well. He gave a half-hearted roll of his eyes at Reggie’s abrupt movements and reached his own long arm out to pull the dark-haired boy close.

“Help me unload the van? I still don’t trust our little Lukey boy with my kit.”

“Hey! That was one time!”

Luke sounded downright offended. The dark look Alex leveled at him in response had Julie choking back a laugh with a badly disguised cough. Clearly once of whatever he did was enough. Luke pouted, arms flexing as they crossed over his chest.

“You put your foot through my bass drum, and you think that isn’t reason enough not to trust you with it ever again?”

Luke sputtered, eyes flicking to Julie and back to Alex as his ears reddened.

“I told you I didn’t see it!”

“It’s the biggest part of the kit, dumbass. Literally the hardest thing to miss.”

Alex’s voice was as unimpressed as it was dismissive. Luke threw his hands in the air as the other boys headed out of the studio, laughing amongst themselves. It was clear this was a regular argument between the two, no heat or anger left in it, only a loving sort of tease. Like the way Carlos still brought up that time she accidentally gave him a concussion double-bouncing him off of their neighbor’s trampoline when he wanted something from her. Or the way her Tía would still laugh as she remembered the time her mom had almost gotten them both arrested for a bar fight on her 21st birthday, Ray affectionately filling in the parts that she tried to leave out. Warmth bloomed in her chest. This wasn’t just a band, wasn’t just a ragtag trio of friends. These guys were brothers. This was a family. And they were letting her into that intimate circle.

The thought was both humbling and nerve-wracking. This Showcase was a big deal. It wasn’t just some school assignment. This could impact their future as a band career-wise. They were all trusting her with this, fully believing in her, or at least, fully believing in Luke’s faith in her abilities. She wasn’t sure anyone had ever believed in her like that. Not anyone that hadn’t known her since she was in diapers. Her head swam, knees feeling a bit weak. She stumbled her way over to the couch, collapsing onto it with a barely audible huff. Luke was in front of her instantly, crouched down so they were face to face. His hands twitched in his lap, but he didn’t reach for her.

“Hey. Julie. Breathe.”

She sucked in a breath, zeroing in on nothing more than his face. After a few seconds she realized he was breathing in and out slowly, just loud enough for her to hear over the jumble of thoughts running amok in her brain. She matched her own inhales and exhales to his, the room slowly coming back into focus as her head cleared. He gave her one of those soft smiles she was starting to think of as hers.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. But I wouldn’t have stopped you in school if I didn’t think you were gonna rock it. I heard you last night. I listened to you for years before last night.”

His chin dropped in embarrassment for just a second before he pulled his gaze back up to hers. Julie felt like she was on the edge of a cliff. Not for the first time she wished she knew how long this version of Luke had been lurking under the surface. It took everything in her not to let herself step off that ledge and fall.

“Music is in your soul. It’s a part of you. Not everyone is like that, but you are. Your life without music...”

He tapered off like the thought was physically painful to him, eyebrows furrowing in a slight wince.

“Living without music would be like living in a world without stars: dark and empty and uninspired. You deserve galaxies, Julie. You deserve the chance to shine exactly like the star you are, and the world deserves the chance to hear you. Please, just...have a little faith?”

She saw it then. As he gazed at her with those bottomless ocean eyes, with that special smile on his lips and sincerity bleeding through every word, she knew. Luke was like her. Luke got it. In a way that no one else except her mom ever had. That’s what this was. They were kindred spirits, two sides of the same coin. And that feeling? The wind rushing through her hair and stealing her breath away while her limbs all turned to jelly feeling? That was definitely her falling head over heels off of the cliff and into Luke Patterson completely.

“Okay.”

She breathed out, and his answering smile set off the butterflies she thought had finally left her stomach. He stood up and held a hand out to her, easily pulling her to her feet in one smooth movement.

“You know,” his smile turned rueful, “eventually you’re gonna have to answer one of my questions with something other than ‘okay’. That’s a pretty passive word, and I’m not really a passive type of person. I wanna start hearing some ‘hell yeah’s and ‘awesome’s pretty soon.”

Julie rolled her eyes, moving away from Luke to set up her keyboard. He gave her a bouncy little shrug of his shoulders, and she let the levity of his joke wash over her, releasing the last bit of nerves. She could do this. Luke believed in her. Her mom believed in her. Hell, Alex and Reggie believed in her and she barely even knew them. She could do this, just like her mom had said.

Noise from the other boys making their way up the driveway had her rushing to pull both doors to the studio open so they could haul in Alex’s drum kit. The three of them left together to grab amps and guitars, Julie finishing the rest of the set up in the garage. Before she had time to overthink things or freak out again, they were all settled into their spots and Alex was counting down for their first run through. Fingers against the keys, Julie breathed out, opened her mouth, and began to play.

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notebooks-and-tea · 4 years ago

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Parse & Folklore: A Ted Talk

Alright everyone, settle down and come have emotions with me about how many of the lyrics from Folklore could apply to Parse. This is a long one so buckle in kiddos. I’m not usually a omgcp blog and I haven’t actually used tumblr in ages but I needed to share my emotions. Someone please yell at me if they have any more thoughts - I’m always here for Parse &/ Taylor rants!

1. The 1 - let’s be real you could read the entirety of this song as Kent, hopefully having now finally managed to move on from Jack, wistfully thinking back on how nice it would’ve have been if he had indeed been ‘the one’.

Lyrics that kind of hurt:

We were something, don’t you think so? And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone Rosé flowing with your chosen family And it would've been sweet If it could've been me In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time 2. Cardigan - So the concept of this song doesn’t directly relate to Kent but a few of the lines stick out to me a lot and I guess just generally this idea of ‘when you are young they assume you know nothing’ in the context of what Jack and Kent would have been going through when they were in Juniors.

Lyrics that stand out to my angsty heart:

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time <--literally just Kent not being able to let go of Jack despite how long it’s been since the draft

3. My Tears Ricochet - Definitely don’t think about the idea of Kent loving Jack and being cut out and ignored following his overdose while listening to this song. ‘I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace’ when thinking about Kent visiting Jack at Samwell and being rejected, then lashing out is particularly painful okay. You could totally interpret a lot of this song as Kent lashing out at Jack and reminding him that he can cut him out and claim he’s moved on but he’ll always be a part of him and it just makes me sad to think about how that might not actually be true...

Lyrics that make me sad:

Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you I swear I loved you Till my dying day I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around saving face <--Jack getting to look like Kent attacked him for no reason as if he doesn’t also owe apologies 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones <-- also kind of reminds me of Kent, in his anger when he turns up at Samwell, lashing out and saying that it’s people like him who still care about Jack no matter what

4. Mirrorball - okay literally just one line really sticks out to me and makes me sad so definitely don’t think about Kent having to hide who he is around the Aces, especially when Jack and Bitty kiss on the ice and he’s in the bar and someone whose name I’ve forgotten is being a homophobic dick, while Taylor sings “I'm a mirrorball I can change everything about me to fit in”

5. AUGUST - like the entire song basically? But like specifically these two boys have a month in the summer between winning the memorial cup and the draft and maybe Kent thinks it’s perfect and he’s so hopeful and he knows it has to end because they’re going to be on separate teams but maybe for him, just wanting them to be together is enough, at least for now. But everything goes wrong and Jack slips away and then they lose contact because Jack cuts him out and all Kent knows is that he should have known because he was never really his no matter how much he hoped that would be true. So now he just has those memories of the two of them together that one summer and maybe that kind of makes me want to cry?

Lyrics and sadnessss:

I never needed anything more Whispers Of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before" <-- just really hammering in that reminder that they were just kids before the draft But I can see us Lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call So much for summer love, and saying "Us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose 6. This is Me Trying - Yikes, isn’t the title just a hypothetical Parse anthem though? Once again, not really exactly in the spirit of the actual song but I feel like so many of the lyrics apply? I mean, Kent turning up at Samwell vibes and once again he lashes out because he feels hurt but he’s trying. He doesn’t even know if Jack wants to see him but he’s hopeful so he turns up and he’s trying to be helpful and to reconnect but he’s still hurting even if Jack doesn’t seem to care? Also definitely don’t think about Kent in his first year in the NHL when he’s supposed to be living his dream and enjoying life, celebrating victories with his new team but all he can think about is Jack and how he may have hurt him and that he’s living the life he’s missing out on.

Lyrics I have emotions about:

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway <-- Kent turning up at Samwell not really knowing if Jack would want to see him but being so hopeful that he would just hurtssss I just wanted you to know That this is me trying And at least I’m trying

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you

7. Illicit Affairs - Ooooh boy, we’re back to entire songs that remind me of Kent and Jack and pre-draft sadness. So cannon Jack might claim that they never really dated and doesn’t that hurt even more if you consider Kent thinking they’re basically dating in secret only for Jack to overdose, then cut him off completely and deny that what they had ever involved any real emotions on his part? So here’s where illicit affairs makes me want to sob. Definitely don’t think about them having a secret ‘relationship’ that starts off because they’re just such close friends, the best friend either one of them has ever had, but they’re also both closeted professional hockey players and horny teenagers let’s be honest, and what starts off as raw moments of honesty and closeness between them get’s slowly corrupted because they have to hide it all, and they have the draft to think about, and Jack has his anxiety etc. And maybe Jack doesn’t call him kid or baby but he does call him Kenny like nobody else does and Kent would ruin himself if it meant he could have Jack back, would give him anything, would get him a spot on the Aces so they can finally play together like they were supposed to...This song makes me sad.

Lyrics that hurt especially (might as well post the entire song here tbh):

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies and it dies and it dies ...a million little times / They show their truth one single time But they lie and they lie and they lie ...a million little times

So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself ...a million little times

8. Invisible Strings - Is this song too happy for my feelings about Kent most of the time? Probably, but basically any ship that ends in Kent/Happiness could apply to this song and that’s the reason it stays on this list. So basically think about Kent being happy and moving on with someone who’s so so good for him and helps him heal and then reconsider this song with that in mine.

Lyrics to think about:

Time, Mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine

A string that pulled me Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons Wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents <- the idea of Kent moving on and no longer having confrontations with Jack whenever they meet but instead being happy for him too makes me so happy

9. Betty - Okay once again the actual idea of this song, definitely doesn’t directly apply but hear me out. Kent turning up at Samwell wanting to be heard out by Jack. Maybe it doesn’t happen directly after the event so he’s not ‘only 17′ but he effectively is and he doesn’t know anything really. He didn’t at the time the overdose happened and he never got the chance to deal with it properly because Jack cut him out so he still doesn’t really know anything. All he knows is that he misses Jack and he wants to play with him again and wants them to get back to where they used to be, to where they’re suppose to be. And if he insulting Jack’s team isn’t James (Taylor’s POV) singing about Betty’s ‘stupid friends’ then idk what else to say. Why does this song scream Kent so much to me despite being about a random 17 year old boy who cheated on his girlfriend?

Lyrics I want to scream about:

Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom But I think it's 'cause of me <--so obvs not homeroom but please don’t think about Kent thinking that Jack overdosed and decided not to go to the NHL after her recovered because of him

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself Or lead me to the garden? I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you <--maybe he’s not 17 but he’s basically still just a kid whenever Jack’s involved

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep And I planned it out for weeks now but, it's finally sinking in Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again The only thing I wanna do Is make it up to you So, I showed up at your party Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me Will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings?

I definitely have more to say on this but this is already so long so that’s it for now, might continue on some other time?

#kent parson #omgcheckplease #parsepositive #angst #taylor swift #folklore #jack zimmermann #I have too many emotions about fictional characters #literally just thinking about August and Illicit Affairs in relation to Kent makes me want to cry

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harrowscore · 3 years ago

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Mikasa Ackermann, Levi Ackermann, Amane Misa, Aeron Greyjoy for the charactet ask :3

SOMEONE HEARD MY PRAYERS AND NOW MY TIME HAS COME, tysm!!!!! <3

okay, let's start with levi (my beloved):

hogwarts house: gryffindor (maybe....?) | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

ugh, the hp sorting house system is way too reductive. he has qualities of gryffindor, slytherin, and hufflepuff - brave, astute, loyal to a fault, etc. so it's a hard choice. but if i really have to choose, i'd go for gryffindor. i know that his Bad Boy facade shouts slytherin, but while he has larger goals (killing all the titans, then saving the world etc.), he's got no actual ambition for himself. hufflepuff would also be a good option.

daemon (from the his dark materials series): (because i've just decided that's just way more accurate than the hp method) some kind of big feline. maybe a panther - a black panther would be the ideal - aloof, predatory, dangerous, fiercely independent.

best quality: besides his obvious strenghts as a leader and warrior, the way he cares for his comrades-in-arms. it's very hard to gain his trust and respect, but once you have it, it's forever. he's pragmatic and ruthless, yes, but he also has a huge capacity for compassion and friendship. not that he would be effusive about his affections, of course.

worst quality: none, he's absolutely perfect ❤ jklsdfhjk jokes aside, he really struggles to open up (a serious understatement), idt he ever talked about his traumatic past with anyone. i mean, maybe he mentioned it to hange and erwin (erwin knew him when he was still an undergound thug, so...), but... he's not great with feelings. despite his apathetic, intimidating mask, he feels and cares deeply, but he has a long history with losing the people he loves, so he tries to not personally care about his squadmates, which can be both a strenght and a weakness. of course, he spectacularly fails at this.

ship them with: well, it's not a secret that i'm a huge rivamika fan, this ship is almost literally consuming my waking thoughts lmao. imo they're perfectly compatible: very similar personalities (stoic, the strongest warriors, absolutely terrifying on the battlefield but with a soft underbelly), very similar pasts/experiences, so many parallels that it's actually ridiculous, etc. i love how they're both each other's equals and likeness (yes, i took it from jane eyre. no, i don't regret anything lmao). a lot of tropes i love, too: Terrible First Impression (the Pride and Prejudice vibes are so strong with these two, you have no idea), Kindred Spirits/Mirror Images, Veteran/Young Prodigy, The Last of Their Kind, even Height Difference lmao. i could write a whole rivamika manifesto, but this is already too long. (maybe for some other time 👀) i would've loved for their dynamic to be more explored in canon but alas, isayama clearly didn't give a shit about the ackerman legacy, he just used it as a plot shortcut to give them conveniently unique powers, since they never really talked about it 🙄 (and before some troll comes into my askbox shouting "you iNcEsT fReAk!!!!1!!", they're only very distantly related. we know shit about the ackermans but we know for sure that they've got at least several generations between them. biologically their shared DNA is 0%, obviously they don't see each other as family, all the eldians have a dead ass common ancestor from 2000 years ago so they're all basically ⁓related anyway. if you really wanna scream about i.ncest, go watch got/dark/the borgias and shut the fuck up please. or alternatively go outside and touch some grass) sorry for the rant, uh. anyway, i can also see levi/erwin. idk if i'd ever care enough to read a fic about them (i'm usually a huge multishipper, but for some weird reason not when it comes to rivamika? same with braime and kastle tbh), but still, i can see it.

brotp them with: hange and erwin, obv. veteran trio >>> ema trio, sorry not sorry (at least h. and e. died before yams had the chance to ruin their character arcs)

needs to stay away from: ...uh, filth, i guess? lmao

misc. thoughts: besides the stupid teenage fangirl crush i have on him, i'm genuinely fascinated by the man himself. he's a huge mess of a contradictions, and yet somehow it works: he's violent and brash and kind of an asshole, but also has a strong moral code and integrity; he's obv very skilled at all the killing/torturing stuff and yet he has a huge respect for life; he's got a potty mouth to say the least, and yet some very aristocratic manners/tastes (the way he sits, his preference for tea and usually refined clothes); he comes from what's supposed to be an illustrous bloodline, he's methodical and very precise, and yet he was born and raised in the underground, he's been used to filth and blood and poverty since he was a child, kenny of all people was his father figure, and probably has known no other life than a perennial survival mode existence. he's "humanity's strongest soldier", but while well-built he's also small, the david to the titans' goliah, and probably not what people would assume a born warrior looks like. he's also one of the few characters who stayed true to himself and his original characterization until the end, bless you smol king ❤

(okay, this is getting long!)

mikasa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

this is actually easy: mikasa belongs to hufflepuff and no, i won't take criticism (just joking lol). enough with this "hufflepuffs are fluffy puppies/Cinnamon Rolls <3" thing: mikasa values loyalty and duty more than anything else. she's also hardworking... and fierce, strong, lethal. yes, hufflepuff and lethal are not mutually exclusive concepts.

daemon: (finally the better option) a she-wolf, fiercely protective of her pack.

best quality: loyal, brave, incredibly strong (alongside her more fragile qualities). practical and level-headed on the battlefield, at least when eren is not included in the picture.

worst quality: struggles to let go of the past (understandable, considering her trauma). tunnel-vision when it comes to eren, obv. extreme levels of delusions ("if only i spoke openly about my romantic feelings for him - as if i didn't made them abundantly clear in ⁓6 years - he wouldn't kill 80% of humanity :(((" lmao okay. just. okay), but that's more on the writing. she's sadly more static than any other main character throughtout the whole series.

ship them with: see above :) but recently i've also started to be intrigued by mikasa/annie and mikasa/sasha. also, i'm sympathetic to jeankasa fans, though i don't actually care for the ship.

brotp them with: EMA trio, especially armin+mikasa. their friendship is so beautiful and special. also sasha.

needs to stay away from: ...... eren, at least romantically. again, that's more on the writing than anything else, but e.remika unfortunately encompasses many tropes i loathe with all the strength of my old shriveled heart: childhood friends-to lovers where the (male) childhood friend doesn't acknolewdge/is completely indifferent to the other (female) friend's romantic feelings, she hopelessly pines for him for years without anything more than a cold shoulder... until in the last chapter it's revealed that he loved her all along and doesn't "want other men to have her!!! :((" (then why did you have no reaction whatsoever to jean's years-long crush on her while she was jealous of any vaguely female-shaped human being you were friendly to, including hange? are you that dumb, man?); the female character's development and entire arc 100% revolves around the male protagonist - she has no goals, no dreams of her own except staying with him forever and ever; the romance is based on an idealized childhood dream, therefore reaffirming those childish illusions would make the character regress, not actually grow up (and nope, epilogue!jk doesn’t count; that also lacks build-up - i would’ve said the same about rm as well, so it’s not about shipping, guys, it really isn’t - and mikasa needed an inner change; getting married to another man but still praying to eren’s shrine is not substitute to actual development lol). post-time skip she's never really frustrated/angry with him, they never get a confrontation about him becoming a, y'know, mass-murderer of gigantic (pun intended) proportions; she puts him on a pedestal, and never stops idealizing him/never sees him for what he actually is (the narrative framing him as some kind of tragic martyr/saint eren from paradis with zero agency and basically... no clear motivation for the abovementioned mass murder, and not the actual complex tragic anti-hero/villain motivated by revenge and righteous fury he deserved to be, does not help). it lacks a good or even decent build-up - it's basically all tell and not show. now, if they'd actually been childhood friends to enemies to lovers/mutually co-dependent... it could have been interesting. sadly, it's not my cup of tea. of course this is just my personal preference, no hard feelings to the shippers.

misc. thoughts: enormous potential. she's been my fav female character since s1 - and ah, i miss s1!mikasa, when she had actually other stuff to do besides mothering eren. i love that she's the strongest warrior (second only to levi, obv), that her skills are never called into questions despite her gender, i love how she stands up for herself and the people she loves, that she may seem cold and stoic and yet has a such a huge heart, that she's not perfect but also sometimes awe-inspiring. sadly, she never really gets out of eren's shadow; what she lacks is an arc focused on herself. that's why imo getting deeper into the ackerman lore would've helped (also, you cannot make the main female character and the most popular male character descend from the same Unique Bloodline or whatever, and never really make them acknowledge it out loud; as a writer, you just can't lol). my spite is so strong that i'm currently writing a ridiculously pretentious fic that's 70% development for her character, to give her a voice, and 30% ackerthirsting. (yes, that's the fic i'm always vagueblogging about lmao, rip @ my brain). if any other rivamika fan is interested… mind you, it’s in italian tho, and idt i have the skills to translate into english.

misa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

daemon: mmh, maybe some kind of butterfly? beautiful, colorful, and short-lived.

best quality: glorious fashion sense, more inventive and ingenious than fans actually give her credit for.

worst quality: shallow, impulsive, and obv her dependence on/obsession with light (which stems from trauma btw, but still… the very opposite of a relationship between equals).

ship them with: rem, kinda (monster/human ftw!). also weirdly enough mogi, a little bit? she deserves someone who actually respects her… though she’s far from being a perfect angel. she may actually be crazier than light on some aspects. but in this house we stan evil ladies anyway, so i have no problem with that <3

brotp them with: uh, idk, maybe matsuda?

needs to stay away from: obv light. also takada.

misc. thoughts: a tragic victim of sexist writing. she may be… unhinged to say the least, but she didn’t deserve the abuse she got from light (and from the fans). the female characters’ writing in dn is so bad that idk if it’s on purpose, to kinda mirror the reality of women in a patriarchal society (dependent on men, housewives whose life entirely revolves around their husband/boyfriend etc.), or just casual misogyny lol. it’s even more baffling since we don’t know the author’s gender (they may be a man, a woman, nb, anything really). i tend for the latter option tho.

aegon greyjoy (now, i wasn’t expecting him lol):

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

i’m so sorry, i haven’t the slightest idea lmao. maybe gryffindor? mind you, it’s been a long time since i’ve re-read the books, so i don’t have many thoughts about him.

daemon: maybe it’s cliché, but some kind of fish/squid lmao

best quality: ugh, i really can’t remember much from his chapters :(( he’s not a coward, i guess? (lame answer, sorry!)

worst quality: definitely his religious fanaticism.

ship them with: no one.

brotp them with: uh… his family, ig? except euron.

needs to stay away from: obv euron. brr ://

misc. thoughts: i genuinely like the greyjoys chapters, though i vastly prefer the martells (with the exception of theon and asha, bcs i love them). yes, they’re deranged. yes, victarion is… well, victarion lol. but the drowned god religion is actually interesting, grrm knows how to write trauma - every time aeron mentions euron and that freaking door i’m like… :// - and the tragedy of it all… just great writing all around.

okay, that’s the end lmao. thank you so much, love!!! ❤❤

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #asks #cafeleningrad #if *anyone* dares to start stupid wank on my super niche blog they'll be blocked on sight i'm warning you #snk salt

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tragictm · 6 years ago

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The Future of This Blog

I've been rping on tumblr since around 2012, diving into the indie world in 2014 with my beth blog. It was a fun hobby for a long time, but by 2015 it had become more like a chore. Soon enough I made new blogs, moved every month or two and hoped like hell itd have that spark back. There were moments, people, that made my time here truly amazing. I'll talk about them later. For now, I have to look to myself and to the future.

Which brings me here. While I love my muses and I genuinely adore writing them, something on this blog isnt right. Not just this blog, but all of them. I'm burnt out on this site, its multiple issues not helping, and my constant need for external validation is only making this worse. You've all noticed it, begging for poll responses, asking if a character should be added and making the choice based only in how many votes each option gets. Everything on this site is governed by notes, by reactions, by the thought that what I post here is important or interesting to people. That's not why I was here, it's not why I wanted to write, and as long as it's there i dont know that i can continue to be here.

As 2019 draws near I have to make choices to better my life. In 2019 I'm giving up work to study and follow my dream, I'm giving up my home that I've lived in for my whole life to have a shot in a completely different city, a completely different world. And with that, I'm giving up this.

Writing is so important to me, I've grown as a person so much from doing this, I've made friends who mean the world to me, but this has also been so toxic. My deep and constant fear of duplicates - and yes that includes the ones I follow. My desire to be the best version of my muse, preferably the only version of my muse. I crave attention, crave the glory that I've somehow managed to believe comes from the number of people who follow me. It's stupid. Its toxic. It's made me act like a person I dont want to be.

I dont know when I'll come back. Ideally, I want to be more emotionally and mentally sound before coming here. I want to be less busy. I want to be able to have fun rather than cry because I cant decide what to do with a fucking tumblr blog.

I want to mention some people, talk about what they mean to me and how theyve shaped my experience. That's below the cut. But first: means of contact. I dont want to lose friends, but I cant promise tumblr will be a place I go ever again. For now I'll be on my personal @distortedrebel and probably on @greene-rph but come 2019 theres a chance I wont even be on those blogs. So, heres where to find me:

Facebook, snapchat, etc. are available if you message me, I'd message my personal or one of those accounts though because I wont be logged on to here.

@selfsaving - izzy, you alone have given me so much muse and such a strong feeling of being somewhere I belong. You've been amazing to me, from liking starter calls and interacting with a muse no one interacted with to inviting me to discord servers and being excited to write with me. I genuinely can't describe how great you've been to me.

@mrbisected - kate you've been amazing. You've followed me through so many blogs, even when I never knew who Kenny was. Honestly, I kind of dreaded watching Texas chainsaw at first. I really thought I'd hate it, especially for the first half hour or so. After watching I didnt care that much for Kenny, but the way you cared for him and the way you crafted him into a real person really inspired me and made me fall in love. I fell for nikki because she was hot, but with your help she became someone real and I never imagined giving up on her because of how it had felt having a muse I cared about so much.

@withumans - kacie idk if ur on this blog or using this alias but hey, you're amazing. I know we haven't necessarily been the closest, but you've been a really good friend. You've been through a lot and I know you relate to the need for validation here. You're still young, you're going to grow and change over the next few years more than you could ever believe. I love you, I believe in you, I know you'll get through this. I'm sorry I wasnt super invested in some of your muses, you very clearly love rain more than anything and I really struggled to interact with her, not because of who she is but because of how emily kinney was her fc originally. I know its dumb and petty and I hate that it continued into when shed stopped being the main fc. Rain is a brilliant oc, I genuinely love her and her story. Shes developed, she clearly means the world to you. Tumblr, and quite frankly everywhere else, doesnt care about ocs. They dont care about multis. That puts the two of us in a tricky position. Dont give up on rain, dont give up on ocs. Dont give up on things you're passionate about. You have it in you to do incredible things.

@valorfated - ellie weve talked less lately and I want to apologize for that. Weve had issues in the past, the most obvious being the way I acted with the rph in 2017(?). Theres an age gap between us and clearly a maturity gap there too. Looking back on the way I acted and responded and avoided responsibility is clear. I am sorry for that, I know you were going through rough times and it was rude of me to try to make things go my way simply because you werent there to stop me. Its something I've been working on and I'd like to think I've grown as a person since then. I do want to tell you that you're an amazing writer, and I really hope things are going better for you. Writing beth and Maggie was a really great experience, I loved the dynamic because I've never had much of a bond with my own sister. You helped me realize how sisterly bonds should be and because of that I've started to work towards mending my relationship with my sister and its changing my life. Thank you, good luck with everything..

@gavinsaleks - I saved you for last because this might get long. I'm gonna avoid the literal thousand word letter I usually give you on your birthdays because wow I write a lot, but you already know by now that you've changed my life. The ocs we made meant the world to me and really taught me about relationships and perspectives and what's right and wrong in relationships. You, though, you taught me more. You gave me the courage to come out, you gave me the strength to stay alive in times where I felt like that was impossible, you gave me happiness that i never thought possible. I watched you grow up and you watched me mature and everything changed after meeting you. I never wouldve lasted on this site without you, or in real life really. You're an incredible girl and I really hope that I gave you the same happiness you gave me because you deserve it all and so much more.

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loremonster · 7 years ago

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Slush Pile : Nightmares

While not plot-important, this little scene is something I feel like would go between the current story and the next as Kenny and Dee start breaking more rules to spend time together. I’m still considering it for inclusion in the story, but I don’t know if it fits in just yet or would play any important role to the plot... more likely than not, it won’t make it over to fanfiction, so enjoy this bonus content! Feels, somewhat unsettling descriptions, and cursing ahead! Enjoy!

It’s the right thing.

She’d told herself the moment she began to feel her insides squirming, the way they churned, as if some living creature within her guts were eager to burst forth. It was not unlike the feeling of being entirely too full, the contents of the stomach threatening to burst up through the mouth when the midsection was so much as bent... but it wasn’t an excess of food she was gritting her teeth against, trying desperately to ignore as more and more coppery-tasting black bile was swallowed back, welling up from places unknown. No, no, there was something unthinking and vicious, gluttonous and oh so hungry.

It was going to escape if this didn’t happen. She knew it would. It would emerge from the chrysalis of her flesh, and wreak the very havoc she’d come to avoid.

It’s the right thing.

She looked up, up to the good doctor Kartwright and her silenced pistol where it hovered a mere inch from her brow. This had been the plan since she began throwing up at home, since she arrived in this un-disastered timeline and became aware that she was the disaster, walking about with both the key to salvation and the disease that would consume everything in its wake if not stopped.

She’d expected to cry, or be afraid.

Get it over with.

Gunshots in movies were bullshit-- there was no flash. All of that was edited in post-- and they rarely reflected just how loud a gun was. How the shot could be felt in the flesh and rang in unprotected ears. Even with a silencer, there was a punctuation to a gunshot that was immistakable, a reverberation in the ribs as shocked air rushed away from a point of ignition.

Somehow, she found herself aware of it. Aware of this moment, and perchance that was fitting, as it would be her very last; her last breath, gasped in at the exact second of the shot. Her last impulse, to twitch upwards into a tense posture.

Her last thought, wondering if she really would continue on as the self that was still alive, or if that girl was an entirely separate existence that she’d never get to know.

At least she’ll get to live.

-PAGEBREAK-

She awoke in the dark of her room, not in her bed but on the floor. It wasn’t like she’d fallen out of bed-- no, she was upright, sitting upon her knees. Kneeling.

Her hand flew to her forehead, where she could almost still feel where the bullet had ripped through her. Feel the sensation of skin and skull giving way before her brain had been sundered and her awareness ended in a terrible lack of all. No dark, no light, no sound, nothing.

Terrible, terrible nothing.

But that wasn’t what was here. No, she inhaled deeply and could smell the familiar scent of home. Her room, her blankets, the wood of the house-- even faint traces of the casserole her father had baked that night, probably not more than three or four hours ago.

She was the girl. The girl that other version of her had been so worried about-- the one who didn’t get shot in the head, but had instead safely slept through the whole ordeal, believed sick by her parents and left alone.

Her posture bent, her other hand feeding up into tangled curls of red hair, nails digging into her skull.

She could still feel the track of the bullet, burning, searing, torn through-- the shock-wave that had gone through her brain and turned her gray matter into jelly.

She could still feel herself dying.

She wanted to claw it out. Rip her own head open just to make it stop, as if she could dig in and scratch away the offending sensation like one did an itch. Great balls of hair were gathered into fists, and she pulled, pulled until it hurt, pulled until she doubled over and cried into her knees.

Somewhere behind her, she heard her phone buzz. The sound was distinct; vibration against a hard surface-- her end table? That was where she usually left it, but incidents of sleepwalking had left her phone in odd places before.

Who cares? It’s crazy late. No one is gonna give a fuck whether I respond now or later.

An excuse, an excuse to remain down with her eyes pressed into the tops of her knees, nose fitted into the crease between her legs and her merciless knuckles refusing to loosen their grip.

It buzzed again. And again. And again. And again.

Serial murders snorting jizz, who the fuck needs me this badly at-- at-- at whatever fucking time this is??

Damnit, she had to let go of herself just to check the clock-- 1:00 AM. Oh. That time.

Even as she confirmed it, the sudden barrage of what sounded like texts made even less sense. Who the fuck was blowing up her phone past midnight? Sniveling, wiping her eyes with the back of one hand, she toddled back to her bed and flopped over onto the soft surface of her mattress, reaching across for her phone to unlock it and see which name was taking over her notifications box.

Kenny.

Suddenly, her little episode was near forgotten. She opened her messenger quickly, scared that something had happened, that Kenny needed her and she was just sitting in a heap in the middle of the floor, freaking out about a phantom bullet in her skull.

[Received, 1:00] Hey [Received, 1:00] i no its rlly late but... [Received, 1:00] idk i just had this fucked up dream and it made me worry about u [Received, 1:00] just making sure ur ok [Received, 1:01] srry if i woke u

She blinked at the small wall of texts, having to scroll a little to see all of it. What was he talking about? What kind of dream?

Was he suffering from a memory echo as well? Something from that aborted timeline, or one of the dozens of others she’d undone in the past in which he’d taken mortal damage?

[Sent, 1:01] I’m awake... I actually just had a bad dream, too [Sent, 1:01] Well, not a dream. Memories. Y’know. I’ve told you about it before. [Sent, 1:01] You?

There was a pause, and she worried he may have fallen back asleep, having only been awake enough to send a bunch of texts before passing the fuck out again... but that theory was proved wrong a moment later.

[Received, 1:03] same [Received , 1:03] its weird, i dont remember anything from it when im awake, but the dreams happen and its like remembering, like its real [Received, 1:04] then it fades away again. its almost gone right now [Received, 1:04] cartman was a zombie? he bit me, u pulled him off me, i ran away [Received, 1:04] i was scared for karen

That was something she hadn’t heard before-- then again, she could barely remember what happened half of the time. Certain things stuck in her mind, came and went, but it was so hard to hold two separate realities in the mind at the same time... and other timelines intruded upon her at seemingly random intervals as well. Things got intermixed all the time-- the only one that made the zombie time-line special was the fact that she died at the end of it, and that she’d been speaking to Kenny for a great deal of it... a first, in all of her mishaps through time.

She read over his description, over and over, trying to make herself recall. She thought she did-- mostly she remembered Cartman’s bloated body falling down a set of stairs before she went after him to stomp on his fucking skull. The rest refused to remain solvent.

[Sent, 1:06] i remember him falling down the elementary school stairs.

[Received, 1:06] me too. u jumped on him. i watched long enough to make sure you were okay, but something was wrong with me. i had to run. [Received, 1:07] ... i think i went up to the roof? [Received, 1:07] ... i think i jumped.

That’s one way to make sure you don’t hurt your sister. She couldn’t speak to any of that. She couldn’t remember leaving the elementary school, but she knew some short time after dealing with Cartman, she’d run into Dr. Kartwright, who had given her a cellphone with a message to convince her past self to take action.

She didn’t know what to say to him, what might help. Did she tell him about her own nightmare? How the sensation of being shot haunted her? It felt like she didn’t have room to talk; he’d been through thousands of deaths, spoken about how each and every one of them was still vivid in his memory. That he knew what it was like to be impaled, burned, electrocuted, shot, stabbed, and many others... what was her single moment of suffering in the face of his much more tortuous state?

Her screen blurred. She was tearing up again, swallowing over a lump in her throat while her cheeks burned in a mixture of shame and... and... she didn’t know what-- terror? The danger was past, she was alive, and still the horror of it robbed her of her sleep and left her in this empty and broken state, traumatized by an event that no longer existed.

Sniffing, she typed.

[Sent, 1:09] Are you alright? [Sent, 1:10] I think I’m going to be awake for a while if you need someone to talk to.

She rolled her head into her pillow, stifling a sob.

[Received, 1:10] im good [Received, 1:11] i texted to see if u were ok [Received, 1:11] u said you had a dream too, what happened?

It took her several minutes of shoving her head into her pillow before she even lifted her head and peered at the new set of messages upon her softly glowing screen. She rolled onto her belly, sniffing hard and crumpling her pillow beneath her chest and staring down at her messenger, trying to figure out what to say while the tears once again came to a stop, although breathing was still harder than it should have been.

He asked. She told herself. That makes it worth telling, right?

She typed for longer than she meant to, going into details she’d half-forgotten by this point, but apparently her thumbs were able to uncover those little things-- the sound of the birds out in the woods, the way the leaf litter had felt under her knees, the smell of the oil Dr. Kartwright used to keep her gun clean.

She painted a terribly vivid picture, even to herself. She wrote of the moment, so much so that her phone had to pause a second and convert into a multimedia message because she’d typed too much for SMS. She’d gotten to waking up, the sensation that still itched inside her brain case.

She stared at it. Paragraphs of description, of the horror that had been replaying the most often for her these days. Why? Why this? Did her subconscious choose which moments to fixate upon? Why did this one have to keep coming back to her?

She frowned faintly. Was she being over-dramatic? Maybe this was too much...

[Received, 1:19] pls dont delete anything [Received, 1:19] i want to hear it

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE DO THAT??? Glaring at her phone-- no, no, she was pouting, pouting at her phone, she pressed and held on her great big text-block and hit the ‘select all’ button to copy it, delete it, and type a shorter message in its place.

[Sent, 1:20] WOULD YOU KINDLY EXPLAIN HOW YOU READ MY GODDAMN MIND?!

[Received, 1:20] i know u. u dont think your shit is worth talking about, worth listening to [Received, 1:21] it is. pls tell me?

Knows me too damn fucking well. If this were a spy movie, I’d have to kill him.

With a sigh, the text block was pasted back into the messenger, and she sent it-- her whole episode in grueling detail.

Reading over it, seeing it confirmed as sent made her bury damp eyes into the fabric of her pillow once more. Something in her was so goddamn afraid, but she didn’t understand why.

She remained there until her phone buzzed in her hands. Eyes were bleary and wet when she rose up, blinking a few times.

Then she blinked a few more.

[Received, 1:24] do u want me to come over? [Received, 1:24] i noticed ur basement has one of those little storm windows, i could slip in thru there and we could hang out

[Sent, 1:25] It’s past midnight on a school night, and you wanna hold my punching bag for me?

[Received, 1:25] if itll make u feel better, yeah

... well, if he’s offering...

[Sent, 1:26] I think it would. [Sent, 1:26] Thanks.

#south park #south park fanfiction #kenny x oc #Kenny McCormick #The New Kid #slush pile #writing

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fullmetamagnolia · 5 years ago

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Had to cull a few more plants yesterday, I thought “I’ve destroyed many a plant with my darkness” so brooding and deep lol but it’s true, I just don’t get enough sunlight and the lightbulbs I can afford don’t quite cut it either. But that’s okay, it’s a freeing feeling, now I can focus more on low light plants. It still varies but there are plants that don’t mind the low light here so bad, my begonias have really thrived in it!! I’d like to give violets a go, my mom always told me about how her mother used to grow them.

A few years ago in November I went to Florida with a work friend of mine, a snap decision I made just cuz Lucy (names have been changed to protect the innocent) is fun and spontaneous and talked me into it. It was so wonderful, the surprisingly best time I’d had in forever and I always dreamed of going back. I was hoping it would be like that when Kenny and I went to Disneyworld but well.. ugh let’s just say it wasn’t and move on.

Yesterday Lucy posted a bunch of pictures of her and her kids in Florida, they were coming to see the manatees that head to electric plants in the winter. I always hoped she’d ask me to go with her again and in that moment I knew I could never go back. Not back to Florida mind you, just back to relive those two amazing days I had with her. Her kids are growing up, I never got to spend time with her daughter like I wanted to and we’re just growing apart. As you can imagine with my disability I don’t get out much and I can tell that constantly pisses her off. I don’t get to keep very many friends in the real world where people expect me to physically show up all the time, I feel like it’s my own damn fault.

Anyway pity party over we’re moving on! I still want to go back to see the beach though, even if it can’t be the same. Maybe I can make something else just as special, at the very least it’ll be interesting. I feel like maybe I should go by myself but Idk how I would handle something like that.. I just don’t want people interfering and keeping me from doing what I want to do. I feel like I would end up arguing a lot with my mom, Kenny would go but I know he would hate the beach plus his work schedule is a nightmare.

My whole life wanted to see sea turtles hatch, I thought you had to go a lot farther away than Florida to see it but it turns out you don’t. I found a couple conservation groups where you can walk the beach at night and possibly see some, I think one was close to where the manatees go too. I wanna go there and I think maybe I’m supposed to do it alone.

Ever since the first time I saw a video of sea turtles hatching it blew my mind that they knew what to do and where to go. Their parents were long gone and they were literally just born yet somehow they just know to crawl to the sea and take care of themselves. I know many of them don’t survive very long but each one is bound and determined and by some miracle some of them make it and come back to leave their own babies later, even with scientific explanation you gotta admit that’s pretty incredible.

#emisphotojournal #florida #seaturtles #snow

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theinsanecrayonbox · 7 years ago

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the great FOP review mega dump

ok so apparently the rest of s10 was aired at the end of June through July of this year. now granted, i do not get NickToons and used a friend’s DVR to record it, so there’s a margin for error, but i don’t recall any of these episodes ever getting recorded. i could be wrong, my memory sucks, BUT TVGuide is stupid and has a habit of putting the wrong names/numbers on things and if the guide doesn’t list the episode as new because half of it already aired, then it wouldn’t get recorded. so again, huge margin for error.

basically, i hadn’t posted these yet because i didn’t realize they’d aired; i was trying to avoid spoiling anything for people. Nick sucks at their programming schedule. these first viewing reviews are nearly a year old in some cases, since it was about a year ago that i was given links to watch some of these online after they’d aired in other countries. so yeah, probably a little dated, might not hold up, but here they are so we can be done with this.

Which is Wish:

Chloe is a vegetarian??? Has this been said before??

I feel like everything in the garage there was in the attic when Dad made Timmy clean that out before…not that that isn’t plausible, since that’d be one way to “clean” the attic lol. Just thought it was a neat commentary.

But yes Chloe, unleash your organizational skills. Color coded labels are awesome! Cleaning sucks, but labels lol

And yes, switching bodies always works so well doesn’t it Timmy…but heehee he called Chloe pretty XD though in fairness…doesn’t this mean Chloe is still eating the meat, because Tim’s in her body…or do they just *look* like one another? See, that’s the gray area…

Ok I do not like all these moments of Dad seeing Cosmo and Wanda; they’re glossed over yes, but still. That should break Da Rules though, because they’ve been revealed (not to mention Crocker knows about them a million times over I know). it just seems like a cheap gag that they don’t need, and it’s annoying.

“Chlimmy Turnermicheal” lol, I need to draw a fusion of my Opals now XD;;;

Ok yes, they’ve body swapped, not glamoured, so Chloe *did* eat the meat after all, thank you for explaining that

Seriously, it’s Cosmo loosing the wands (for the umpteenth time) that is going to cause the problems here -.-

Yay more Chloe parents! They aren’t 1 or 2 offs! Though…why were they absent up until this point? Did they decide to take a sabbatical from work after the booby incident? That’d be nice

OMR Danny, Vlad (wait nasty Dan? Hu oh well), and Dudley puppets. That is too cute for words!!

And a Little Shop joke. Eeeeeeee!!! I know they’ve done man-eating plants before, but still!

Chloe’s dad faints at failure? Hm, that could be useful.

Tim admitting he’d miss Chloe is sweet, especially since it wasn’t with any mention of loosing his fairies

Hahahaha dressing up as each other/themselves, that’s great. Cosmo’s head blowing up is getting old though.

All in all I give this episode a huge A+. It is a cliché trope of a plot, but I feel it was executed really really well!! Nice balance of magical aspects with non-magical ones I thought, and gave development to both kids and their families.

Fairy Con:

Ok first of all, I thought Fairy conventions were held every thousand years or so, and was actually just for the fairies. Granted, this “Fairy con” could be a different event OR they changed the event after Timmy’s bathroom one, since that could’ve been the first time a godchild was involved? Also, Timmy is you go “every year” that shows that this is at least 2 years after you got your fairies (because you had Cosmo Con, then assume one after that, then at minimum this one), so why are you still 10?????? (and don’t go saying “the time stopping wish in secret wish” because uhg)

Crocker in the fridge….ok…but adding in Crocker to crash the Con…yeah this is a complete plot reusing of Cosmo Con, just updating it a bit

Look Girlfriend the cat isn’t dead!!

If you’ve had their hair samples for that long why haven’t you cloned them before?? But “off brand cloning machine” is sorta funny. Also, Kenny G? that a Spongebob shout out or not?

Ok if it merged the cat DNA with the fairy why didn’t it merge the fairy DNA together too? Also, missed your mark to have a real “fairy cat” show up (though no Sparky so we don’t need it anymore I guess)

Oh but Chloe’s enthusiasm over her first con, I am so happy at that ^^ I just had my first comic con, and I was spazzing like that too when I wasn’t freaking out over being ditched and lost.

Ok that is yet ANOTHER unique birthday for Timmy. He’s up to what, 5 now since the series started? (Boys in the Band, Birthday Bashed, Birthday Battle, the one mentioned in Birthday Battle about the dinosaurs) the kid is at least 14 now, he has to be!

I like all the backgrounders. Some look super squashed, but still neat.

Tooth fairy returns! Yay! We had mentions of Cupid and Mother Nature before, so it’s nice to see the magical celebrities are still around and not forgotten.

Ahhh! The return of the Crocker Pot which captures fairies!! Ok I am giving this writing team an A- on doing their lore homework because they are getting so many things right (though the Fairy Con being thrown off is still deducting points sorry)

There was a blonde fairy that looked like Samantha in the background O.o

“Chloe Carmichael, any normal person would give up right now. But you are NOT normal!” - omr Chloe I love you and your “never quit” song was good and humorous, I still love you

Timmy how can you not know what Crocker is up to? He’s always up to the same exact thing. If he’s in Fairy World, I’m fairly sure there is a 1000% chance he’s there to capture fairies. Geeze.

OMR Princess Morebucks was in the seats at Cosmo’s panel, I’m not joking.

All in all, it wasn’t a giant impacting story, but it was a good one, even though it was a total reusing of a plot. I feel like the writing team did their homework pretty decently (for the most part). Plus, the magic of cons ^^

The Hungry Games:

This is the B-Story to Fairy Con…interesting choice…more fangirl!Chloe…

I love her “Katniss hair”, heck I just love seeing alternate hair on her

Heh “Ketchup Everdream”, wow, ok, sure

That might be the wrong movie, but it sounds interesting. What movie was that Cosmo?

Aw Chloe lost…but yay call back to screaming in her closet

Lol Crocker is once again, king of dystopian world. That is perfect. This is all perfect. Maybe it’s because I liked the Hunger Games movie that I can thoroughly enjoy this parody, idk. But this is great. I am loving this episode.

And cue the pointless Dad part…wait Mr Bickles?? Where have you been?? Why are you here???

I like the blonde/pink haired backgrounder

I really loved this episode! It was so nice how Timmy did this for Chloe and stuck with it even when it was bad for him, then she turns around and does something nice for him at the end. It let Chloe fly her freaky fangirl flag on so many levels. Like I said, I liked Hunger Games, so this was a great parody that was loads of fun. I really really enjoyed all of it.

As a whole episode, these two really show us what a geeky girl Chloe is I think. She’s not just the over achieving little Ms Perfect she was at first, she’s got her weird hobbies and obsessions too. And the fact that she was so into Fair Bears AND dystopian doomy future really says a lot about her, and really speaks to me on many levels. It’s just solidified my love of Chloe even more.

Dimmsdale Daze:

And we start off with jokes about barfing…well it is a roller coaster so I can let it slide…just don’t spiral out of control with them…

Heehee “vines” joke, that’s great. Because it highlights their age AND that they are more naturalist

Oooo Connie said “shyster”, that’s pretty borderline…

Chaining yourself to the tree in town…wouldn’t that be the same tree that Tootie did the same thing to in the first live action movie? I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing…

Did Chloe’s middle name change? O.o but lol to the “when you’re a parent you can make the decisions” because I head canon them meddling after Chloe’s divorce, but I know that line is the plot fodder, so I’ll just push the head canons away for now

Lookit that adult!Chloe though!! I’m not that far off the mark with my design (plus you know, there are several older!Timmy designs and none are more true than the other, so my older!Chloe being short and bustier is still plausible). And hey lookit! Cameo of the adult!Timmy from Big Problem AND confirmation that if one of the godkids breaks Da Rules they both loose the fairies TOGETHER

Neither Clark nor Connie really look too much like Chloe as children (ok Connie *does* but when you consider they made child Dad look exactly like Timmy before, it’s not quite enough)…just another tick in my adopted column, just saying…

Why did that child in the bounce house have lipstick O.o

Chloe’s earring is like, in the wrong place and it’s bothering me…

“But I have the mind if a child” “It’s true, he’s been tested” – I…wow, just…yes?

And of course Connie and Clark get assigned Cosmo and Wanda, I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming honestly ^^;;

You know, even though this is sort of a rehash of Big Problem and The Switch Glitch I thoroughly enjoyed this one! Single mom!Chloe was great, it feeds my future headcanons. It proved that Tim and Chloe do share the negative effects of the fairies. And it was just a really good Chloe episode that Timmy was just a supporting character in. I really did like it. A+

As a whole, I think both parts (this is meant to be paired with Spring Breakup) work nicely together. It’s a lot of Chloe and her family, so if you want some serious Carmichael development, do for this set most definitely.

Chip off the Old Crock:

Ok before getting into this one, I just gotta state that since I read the description for it, I’ve been ITCHING to see this. How does Crocker have a nephew if he has no siblings? (*current thoughts: i’ve since this review come up with a plausible scenario*) What would this child be like? How could I use him for Superverse conveniently?? And then I saw screencaps and saw that he was a mini Crocker and got disappointed…

But now we are to watch so let us see how that unfolds…

What’s with that redheaded backgrounder?? He looks like a Lebowitz!! *files that away for layer usage*

Still laughing that he’s named Kevin since that is a “name of evil” in our games and what not ever since my brother used it as a placeholder name for a badguy in a storyline; ever since then “Kevin” had been the badguys who are sorta pointless lol

But still…”study abroad” um…you still could’ve used that since Crocker obviously has family in Canada; studying in California would then be considered “abroad” if he was Canadian. And that way, he wouldn’t have to be his literal nephew, but his 2nd cousin, but they just call each other uncle/nephew because it’s easier. That might sound confusing, but at least it makes more sense then just randomly implying he has siblings when he never has. I’m gonna headcanon this from now on, and no one can convince me otherwise. (*current thoughts: again, i’ve figured it out since writing this; i’ve left the original thoughts though to prove my though process from point A to point B*) Plus you miss out on Canada jokes this way…

Awww Kevin, I’m starting to love you…that’s weird…

Everyone pick a partner-no one pick Kevin, classic. However…redhead boy had 2 partners, why didn’t Crocker notice and stop that? There’s no reason why Chloe and Tim needed to pair up with him aside from plot relevance…

Ah sweet Chloe, standing up for the misunderstood and outcast, trying to find the good in them and make others see it too. I love you sweetheart ^^ go make friends with Francis now please

Why isn’t Dolores fawning over Kevin? You’d think she wouldn’t let her *grandson* out of her sight, considering the coddling we’ve seen her give Denzel at times. Unless she’s busy with her *other child* I guess…but in that case why isn’t she belittling Denzel for not being like *his sibling* and having kids and not living in her basement? I’d love to see Denzel look like a looser compared to this *sibling* he suddenly has, and it suits the family dynamic as we know it. Or perhaps the *sibling* is more of a looser, but Dolores still sings their praises because they did move out and have a kid, unlike Denzel who has a steady job and whatnot because *sibling* is a total bum. I mean, I get that it would only slow down the storyline, but it just feels out of character, plus the sudden introduction of a *sibling* just is wrong too…I should stop analyzing the Crocker family and just go back to the actual plot

Kevin wants to be a dentist??? O.o are you related to Dr Bender??? That…would explain nothing honestly, idk why I went there

“Sorry I’m too busy being a loner” haha that’s a good one

Hey callback to Crocker wearing ladies clothes. Nice.

“It’s a blueprint so shouldn’t it be blue?” hahaha that was funny

Chloe how did you get to the top of the rock wall without a rope?? Did you boulder your way yup there?? And Tim! You should never rock climb without a belier(sp?) geeze, rock climbing 101 there dude

And toilet joke…but I will let it slide because I am actually enjoying Kevin

“Unleash your inner looser” omr yes best line

Ah the build up to the betrayal “aw you guys actually like me” “well yeah you’re not evil” *does the evil thing* “we hate you now because you are evil after all”

Unsuspecting Van is back whoot!

Ninja!Chloe and Tim with a light saber; nice, but what a missed opportunity…also Chloe has a ninja suit…she really is replacing Tootie isn’t she…

And Kevin saves the day by wishing none of this ever happened…just like Chester did in Fairy Idol hm…

But at the end of it, I’m actually very surprised how much I liked this despite all its flaws. It’s riddled with clichés and huge plot holes/continuity errors, but I genuinely liked Kevin (and whole heartedly look forward to writing him into Superverse…also would it be too weird if he was Kyler’s father? I think it’d be weird…). I think it’s a nice B-story to Cat and Mouse and together they make a pretty good episode.

Space Ca-Dad:

Off topic a moment here; rewatching the theme and it just dawned on me…maybe there’s a “fairy shortage” because no one’s enforcing the rules over fairies being revealed/discovered. I mean, if everyone Timmy knows knows about his fairies and yet he keeps them, then other kids must be doing that too you know. Just saying Jorgen, you caused this problem yourself man…and honestly, why not outsource the fairy jobs then to other magical creatures, since Fairy Idol proved any magical creature can be converted to a fairy godparent. It’d be a great way to bring Norm back if you stop and think about it, or a way to get the Pixies back in there too. I’m just saying, the “fairy shortage” story is pretty weak…still think Jorgen just did this to them because they’re good for each other…

Ok back to the episode itself

Yay Chloe is still a Squirrely Scout, good for continuity! And you love food puns? i love you more Chloe, you so are a Catman related heroine aren’t you ^^;

Did he say “Mrs Lipshitz” or “Mrs Libwitz”? it was really hard to tell, so idk if that’s a Rugrats shout out or someone I have to add to my Lebowitz family tree (cause slurred sound…and the witch/mental thing does suit the family…)

Dad you had the rank of “flying squirrel” why is this confusing??

Ok there are “Pickles” living on the street, I’m going with Lipshitz. So many Rurgrats shout outs.

Whinny kid, Kid with issues (aren’t you Kevin?), and Stuart…so we are going with the latest (and suckier) Squirrel Scout troop line up. Kay.

Chloe as a jr. astronaut though and knowing how to fly space ships ^^

Heehee “Space Jam” how many more thinly veiled references can we have XD;;

(maybe Squirrely Kevin is Kyler’s father…that’s doable…)

Ah yes, Dad throwing the fairies out just when the kid/s need them. Yup, never seen that plot device used before nope. And how can rocket fuel destroy magical wands? They’re fairy magic, why are they so easy to ruin??

How did you find a planetoid when you were heading towards the sun??? I don’t…right, why put logic into things, my bad

The Glorg. Florgatron-5. Hm…*files that way for layer usage* Bakersfield???

I loved all the aliens at the restaurant though.

Over all, this episode was…meh. I didn’t dislike it, but it was a very pointless Dad episode. Seriously, you could’ve had them go to the Planet of the Dads and do pretty much the same thing, but at least keep that storyline going (since I think it’s the longest running one now). I’m unimpressed, but I’m not disappointed. So lets see if the B-story can save the episode as a whole.

Summer Bummer:

“The looks of psychotic anticipation” lol, well we’re starting off with some good

Also it’s summer vacation yet again. Mk…this makes it at least the 4th summer vacation Tim’s had, what with School’s Out, Shelf Life, and Microphony being the others I can easily site off the top of my head. So again, these children should be like 14-16 now

It’s the return of Dad in short-shorts. Oh man, run and hide now.

Chloe getting a summer internship/scientific program is very her. Must always be learn…wait did she say the corner of a basement?? O.o that’s concerning child…

Oh hey that pink clad teacher is from s1 I think. Wasn’t she in Timvisible at the water cooler?? That is a very nice and wow throwback guys. Major points to you.

Chloe is 10 and a half???? So she actually IS a year younger than Timmy, since he was already 10 when he had his birthday (and we ignore the previous like 5 birthdays he’s had >>) and they share a birthday…but wait, your birthday is in March…summer vacation starts in June/July, that isn’t 6 months later…ok so on the one hand, your math is all wrong, but on the other my headcanon that Chloe is a year younger seems to be proven fact. I don’t know what to do with this information!!

Oh this is the sleep wishing episode I heard about! Wow took a while for the plot to show up…but you know, even though this has been used before, I feel like this is being used in a different context and for a different character, so I’m allowing the reuse of the plot idea. Let’s see how twisted up Chloe’s subconscious is…

“Gender neutral Jesse” is sorta weird…I like the fact that Chloe did play with baby dolls though…

Timmy you can’t unwish Chloe’s wish! We’ve been over this-we had a whole episode dedicated to it!! URG!! Did they just throw that out because it’s easier for them to just fix each other’s mistakes that way? I mean, if this was the only time, I could buy that since she didn’t *consciously* make this wish, it could be undone by Tim, but the other times they’ve pulled this she’s been in her full faculties. So uhg! You can’t even keep your own continuity you establish in the same season >> (but…you guys have been doing better than expected, so…it’s not *as* negative points as I’d usually give…or maybe it is but you’ve just racked up enough positive ones to be at the standard by now I guess)

Hey Dr Rip Studwell, long time no see XD and…you made a manscaping joke…wow, I…wow

And a poop joke…but you have a pirate ship…but still…

“Took one to the crow’s nest” is that a crotch shot joke? Wow this episode is just…wow

Omr the mini shoulder Chloes are adorable! I love valley girl!Chloe and german science!Chloe. Didn’t like the second poop joke in a minute, especially since Dad really *shouldn’t* have heard science!Chloe say that…

She wished the doll big again…I think Chloe’s repressed feelings are about not wanting to grow up

And look Da Rules FINALLY decide to kick…oh no, Chloe wished it to be unwishable...yeah, because that’s the only way to stop Tim from fixing it >> and yet at the same time, he did wish the monster to stay until he stopped lying about who set Chompy free, so…formula…

“There’s free ice cream all over the street! It’s like delicious roadkill!” ok that is the best line ever

Wait, you’re wishing yourself into Chloe’s mind?? Because that worked so well when you went into your own…and why does it remind me of Mabel’s dreamworld/mind? I expected less pink, more purple honestly. Preschool!Chloe is so adorable!! Totally called the plot though, not that it’s hard.

Cosmo confirmed as queer, because even when he thought Wanda was “Weird Dude” he still had a crush on him. Wow, I am floored they did that, good for you

And we end it by promoting cannibalism? Oh wait no; we scratch the 4th wall instead. Ahha. Yeah. You totally missed the opportunity to have “Kids just being Kids” playing somewhere-possibly remixed-because I feel the message suited Chloe’s mentality too right now.

Over all, I’m glad it was Chloe centric but…I feel like this could’be been done in half the time maybe? They ignore their own continuity, but they do tackle real stuff in a minimal magical way. I guess like the A-story, I’m unimpressed but not disappointed. I feel like both of these should not have been paired together because as a whole the entire episode is lacking; they both needed a stronger story to counter balance them. It’s a good watch once through, but I doubt it’s an episode you’ll want to rewatch.

Dimmsdale’s Got Tallent:

Ok…I feel like this plot has been used before…and not necessarily thinking Fairy Idol either, but I just can’t place which episode I’m thin king of…

TOOTIE!!!! THEY DIDN’T SHIP YOU OFF TO BOARDING SCHOOL OR WHATEVER!! OMR!!! Sadly you were just a backgrounder cameo, but still…now I just need to find Francis then my main favs will have all appeared to be not dead (*spoiler: Francis does not appear anywhere*)

More Bickles…huh…

Mom’s stage name is “Madame Sasha”…is that a hint that her first name is Sasha?? Most times when you make up “magic names” they’re either your real name in between “the” and “magnificent” or they’re some super exotic/fake/fantastical sounding thing like how Dad was “Dadracadabra”

And more about Chloe’s one-woman show. That’s so neat that this is something that they’re developing for her, instead of using as a toss away one shot gag.

Kevin!! Dressed as a dummy for a comedy act lol. It’s an old and over used plot idea, but I’ll run with it. I like it. Cause Crocker now has 24 hour access to a child, he of course has to think of other ways to use it. “I’m telling my mom you made me do this” because that is Denzel’s sister so it is a legitimate threat…though you’d think Dolores would object to this too…why have we not had any interaction of Kevin with his grandmother yet??? I’d love to see Denzel get jealous over the attention his mother is giving Kevin that he never received

Haha Dad stealing Chloe’s idea, and still breaking the gender norms, nice. Where did Bickles get the coconut bikini top and grass skirt though?

Oh baaaaaad lesson to be teaching kids there guys. If the authority figure won’t give you want you want, you shouldn’t do them favors to try to bribe them into giving it to. Especially in the entertainment industry. That’s how bad situations happen….

Um those remote control tap shoes shouldn’t work because they would be helping Tim to win a competition, which is against Da Rules…not that Da Rules seem to matter anymore…

Ok Mom, you claimed to be a “Pet Psycho” yet you’re using only wild/non-pet animals. I think that’s probably the easiest way to point out that you’re doing this wrong

“I love me some snake and mongoose” ok…lets go see if that’s a euphemism on google…hm, nope, just a drag racing movie. That’s nice…wasn’t Bickles a race car driver at some point??

Doug Dimmadome returns! And “curious life partner”??? the Mayor and Chompy are a thing??? O.o???

Good boy Kevin, stand up to Crocker ^^

“That was a Dimma-dud” so simple and stupid, but probably the most fulfilling line thus far ^^;

love Chloe’s gold gown

ok I lied, “Dimma-dope” is now the most fulfilling line in this

heehee Dudley Puppy and Crimson Chin balloons in the parade. So headcanoning that TUFF Puppy was a show on tv in FOPverse

so this episode was….well just really pointless filler too. We got like minimal focus on any of our main characters. Have they forgotten how to write Timmy and Chloe?

Together these two (this was paired with Knitt-witts) were not a good match. Both were pointless filler with not a strong plot in either of them. Too many guest cameos, no character development. It was just barely enjoyable enough to not hate it, but just barely honestly. Weak episode all around.

Goldie Crocks and the three Fair Bears:

Ok I’ve been looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears since the episode titles were released.

Interesting to see the Squirrely Scout troop back again, still the same B-team line up including Chloe. Thought you already had that patch…but then again that could’ve been with the A-team troop lineup, so…the records were all destroyed when it was disbanded maybe?

Thanks Tim, we all were asking that. But how does using Mom’s shampoo make your hair blonde? Luscious and even longer I could buy without complaint, but blonde??

More over achieving Chloe lol (poor girl is gonna crash when she burns out). But wow, she fought King Neptuna…so why didn’t he remember her? Is Supergal now enemy to the merfolk??? Though that plays into the Merfolk vs Glamazons wouldn’t it…

And now we turn into the clichéd camping storyline where Character A decides to go use non-wilderness to camp in luxury. But Tim, you used to like camping??? Also, still not seeing how the episode title plays into this plot yet…

Cosmo has been right/made sense on more than one occasion though, why is it that surprising?

Ok now we get the title…Crocker’s mother has a cabin in the woods? Buyable, sure. Crocker somehow brought the Fair Bears back into reality??? Uh…what now? Wait, they weren’t sent back to TVLand?? And Crocker knows all about their origin?? HOW does that not break Da Rules huh? Is it because he doesn’t know who wished them up, so it’s not against Da Rules?? Why wouldn’t they tell him that; wouldn’t that be a fair thing to do?? He’s in a blonde wig because they’re going to be Goldielocks at a theme park, yeah sure, ok I can buy that. But HOW did he get the bears in the first place???

And Dad is blonde to be Goldielocks…wow…

Chloe breaking the 4th wall a little there

Gah even more middle names! Chloe how many do you even have????

NO! YOU CAN’T UNDO THE OTHER’S WISHES! URGH!!! You established this rule right off the bat, yet you keep breaking it and they let you keep breaking it. Timmy wished for the camping stuff-Chloe should not be able to wish it away. Yes the plot is stalled, but really, what is the plot at this point??? If you’re only going to enforce the rules when it suits you, well, anarchy for all then please

And you wished away the magic…yeah, that’s going to go super well

“Mr Crocker’s unsightly twin sister” ok on the one hand, that works because of Kevin granted (even though she’s not a twin persay, but he has suddenly got a sister), but on the other…this is all saying that guys can’t have long hair and I don’t like that. I love guys with long hair. Between that comment on Crocker, and the comments earlier about Dad, why is long hair automatically girl now?

Dolores dated Shaggy??? O.o i…I am very unnerved by that…wasn’t she already a full blown adult with a 10 year old child when Shaggy was a teenager roaming in the van with the Mystery Inc crew?? O.o

Omr yes. Referencing the “original German version” as a darker one. Talking about basting and eating people. This turned dark super fast and I love that. why TrollLOL’s face is on the oven idk, but I’m rolling with it because I love this part.

“I’ve already got 2 strikes from the school board” uh…yeah that’s the wrong side of dark I think…but it’s Crocker, it was probably the fork in Waxelplax’s fanny, and the flour incident or something fairly similar.

Yes Tim, yell at Chloe that this is all her fault. We know it is, but pointing it out won’t help. But it totally is; you wished for no magic and you got into trouble-not surprising.

HOW is it nearly midnight??? It was like, what, noon at the latest when this started?? You have not been out in the woods-in the daylight-for 12 hours-of daylight. Chloe hunny, you’re the smart one, why are you failing telling time??? I know its dark outside the house now, but it wasn’t in the scene before. Cosmo I think your clock is right. And how is “poof us out of here” bring you to a spot where it is, once again daylight; that seemed to suggest instant teleporting so you’re at the same time. Unless this next scene is a cut away to hours later BUT STILL! It should not be midnight.

Oh Dad, yes, I’m sure no one cares about your troop anymore.

“let’s send the Fair Bears back” uh you should have done that the first time and this whole mess would have been avoided. It’s like leaving the door to the comic book world open all over again.

And yes, cause unnecessary harm to Crocker, why not. Not to mention all the innocent patrons at the theme park…

Also why has no one mentioned Dimmsdale had a theme park before now?

All in all, not a good episode. I was looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears, and it felt like they weren’t even in half of the episode. The rest was another boring camping storyline, which these two seem to do a lot of huh?

Paired with Fancy Schmancy, as the production order says, I think the whole 30 min episode is completely weak and not great. This one was bad, the other was filler, so together they are just not meshing well at all.

#Fairly Odd Parents #Fairly Oddparents #fop #kp talks fop #review #mega dump

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hisuuuuuu · 7 years ago

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ok whatever I can't use my sideblog to send this but! for the ask meme, fandom: snk, ship: yumihisu

omg vi I’m so sorry this is so long over due I just didn’t want to do any of my favs a disservice (hopefully I haven’t as I’m often bad with words) but thank you for the ask!!

Fandom: SNK

Favorite character: Levi 😘😘

Least Favorite character: Historia’s parents but the king and Zachly are pretty gross too

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Currently ereri, yumihisu, eruri, jeankasa and erejean

Character I find most attractive: Ymir!!!!!! Honestly she is literally gf goals like she’s exactly my type in looks and personality I just uhhh

Character I would marry: Ymir

Character I would be best friends with:Meaning only one?? Sasha probably

A random thought: I really hope they make more seasons. I’d love to see Kenny animated

An unpopular opinion:Please be gentle with me but….. (I’m not the biggest fan of ponytail!levi) I love how excited everyone gets over the idea I think that’s cute! but yeah not really for me

My canon OTP: Yumihisuuuuuu

Non-canon OTP: Ereri - they have such an interesting and beautiful relationship I can’t wait to see them in the manga again!

Most badass character: There’s so many! How do I even choose? Maybe Erwin or Mike bc it’s a bit unfair to compare the Ackermans with everyone else

Pairing I am not a fan of: Y'know I originally put Armin & Erwinbut last night I had a really cute dream of them so probably Reiner & Historia

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): No one

Favourite friendship: Levi, Erwin and Hange!

Character I want to adopt or be adopted by:I want to adopt Mikasa and be adopted by Erwin and/or Mike

Ship: Yumihisu

When of if I started shipping it: When I first saw them in the same frame? Aha no but it was pretty instant. I think it was when Ymir put an arm around Historia and told her something like ‘when this is all over I’m gonna marry you’. Bc I was like 👀 canon lgbts excuse me haha and I’ve been in love and drawn in since

My thoughts: I love them heaps!!! Like Ymir says they’re both very similar with y'know the whole living a lie thing they’ve been through. They’ve both been through horrible things no little girl should have gone through. Yet (as much as Ymir likes to deny it) they both still have some compassion inside and a caring nature. I just feel like they really understand each other and they need someone like that. I also just think they compliment each other really nicely like two sides of the same coin. I love their lil fights/arguments too I think they’re adorable bc they’re healthy and normal and are usually made to try and help the other person. Summary: they’re super cute I love them

What makes me happy about them: That they’re canon (especially as lgbts) !!! Like I can still remember the day it was announced my friend and I were like crying and clinging to each other the whole day haha. And they’re just really cute and a perfect match in my opinion

What makes me sad about them:If you’re caught up on the manga I think you could take a guess. Also how they seem to be almost destined to never be properly together with Ymir’s deal with Reiner and Historia with her queen duties. Also both of their backstories are tragic and always make me sad

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:I guess just mischaracterisation like Historia being portrayed as super sweet and innocent. Other than that nothing really!

Things I look for in fanfic:I’m always looking out for canonverse yumihisus but I haven’t came across many. I’m not sure, I haven’t really read a yumihisu fic that’s really blown me away. I actually haven’t read that much anyways so please if you want recommend me some if anyone knows any! I love aus too bc then my girls can be happily together

My kinks:Idk

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Historia with Eren. Ymir with me lmaoooo maybe Sasha

My happily ever after for them:Historia sends out her men or the survey corps to save Ymir. Ymir becomes queen as well and they both serve together happily in love and take in the orphaned children and raise them as their own (with the help of their loyal servants and occasionally Levi Squad)

I’ve already answered Levi. You can find it here: https://softymir.tumblr.com/post/161052629728/levi-for-the-character-ask-thank-you

Character: Sasha

How I feel about this character: She’s a blessing. She’s very sweet and strong. I wish she wasn’t just reduced to potato jokes bc she’s so much more than that! She’s such a good person and character! I love how goofy and sometimes rebellious yet polite and kind she is. I love that she’s shown with the little insecurity of her accent and her way of speaking but her friends always try and bring her out of that as they love her the way she is. I love that she expresses fear as you realistically would. She’s a very real, believable and relatable character.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Mikasa, Connie, Ymir (is this a thing?? please be a thing), Historia ahhhh Sasha and all the girls please, Mina bc of that one official art and actually holy heck they would have been cute, Annie? Jean? idk Sasha’s so nice she could click w anyone

My non-romantic OTP for this character:Springles? Some days I ship them romantically and then other times I just see them as friends who endlessly support each other

My unpopular opinion about this character: While I thought the added scenes of Sasha in s2 were cute I was a little upset that almost all of her added dialogue revolved around food bc I’m kind of over that being a main characteristic of her when she’s so much more

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want her to see her papa again and I want him and everyone to tell her how proud they are of her and how strong she has been/is. I want her to look after herself and be swarmed with love and support from her friends

My het ship:Springles

My fem/slash ship: Mikasasha!!

My OTP: Oh boy i’m gonna say it’s mikasasha but springles is really sweet too

My OT3:Yumihisusasha. Brotp would be sashaconniejean

My cross over ship: Don’t have one

My kink: Idk

A head cannon fact: The more comfortable she is with someone the more she’ll let her accent and her way of speaking slip

Character: Historia

How I feel about this character: Historia is really important to me personally as I relate to her a lot (both of us being super gay for Ymir lmao)

But like the whole taking on a different personality for most of your life. Like I was very much like Krista during most of my school life. I was overly kind, sweet and caring to everyone even people who really did not deserve it. It’s quite interesting actually that as I read Historia starting to ‘live for herself’ and as herself I was too. So I kind of grew out of that with her which is why she’s very important to me.

And it’s always nice to find a character you relate to and the fact that she likes girls too is just 🙏🙏

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Ymir!!!! And Eren

My non-romantic OTP for this character:Maybe Reiner and Historia? Like I can see them being each other’s beards and maybe in an au tricking the parents that they’re straight as they’re both pretty much the poster children of the bf/gf you’d want to show off to your mum. And I think they could have been quite good friends

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t think people think it anymore but I remember when the chapters were coming out as her as Historia most people thought she was this super cold bitch (me included at first) but hah that’s not the case. I mean she’s not ridiculously nice goddess Krista but she definitely still cares about herself, Ymir, her friends and children. You just have to remember she had a rough life and childhood of course she’s gonna come across as cold and distant sometimes.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:I want her and Ymir to get married and to take in the orphaned children and raise them as their own (with the help of her loyal servants and possibly in their free time Levi Squad as Historia is a very busy queen). Ymir would love her lots and Historia would raise and treat the children how she wished she could have been. She’d dedicate as much time as she could with them. I want her to be happy and content with her life

My het ship: Erehisu

My fem/slash ship: Yumihisu

My OTP: Yumihisu!!

My OT3: Yumihisusasha

My cross over ship: Don’t have one

My kink: Idk I think she’d like to have little kisses planted everywhere like the royalty she is

A head cannon fact: She’s the big spoon

#the more I read this the more I don't like it but ah oh well #ask games #long post #I feel really bad for anyone reading this holy crap bless you if you made it through all of this #I'm on mobile otherwise I would have made a keep reading thing I'm so sorry!!!!

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aingealcethlenn-archive · 8 years ago

Text

Bullet Babe

Characters - Adam Cole, Lauren (OC), Mention of the Young Bucks, Cody Rhodes

Pairing - Adam x Lauren

Summary/Request -okay my request is : Lauren is a childhood friend of Adam Cole. She knows how he is, what he is but she still loves him anyways. One night she signs with ROH, therefore joining the women’s roster. She surprises him backstage that night and the two reconnect. She was his first love as he was for her. What happens when the good girl turns bad and joins the Bullet Club and he lets it slip that he loves her?

Word Count - 1,816

Warnings - Mild language...and a little fluff (If you spot any other warnings I should add, please let me know so I can edit this post to include them!)

A/N - I am SO sorry! 1) for taking too long, and 2) for branching away from your request a little :( Hope you don’t mind!! It’s a bit off for Adam...idk why, but the right words just wouldn’t come out :-? So I completely and entirely apologize for this monstrosity...

Tags (Want on or off? Send a message/ask!) - @lclb13 @blondekel77 @xfirespritex @horcruxhunter5972 @hardcorewwetrash @nickysmum1909 @banrioncethlenn @thepalaceofmelanie @i-stole-rudolphs-nose @allgirlswrestlingclub

Story:

Walking around backstage, Lauren was still in awe. Even though she had officially signed with Ring of Honor Wrestling about a month ago… this would be the night her career changed.

See, Lauren had managed to catch the attention of Cody Rhodes. He thought she would be the perfect addition to the Club. Her attitude, her talent, her passion for the business. She was exactly what the Bullet Club needed.

Cody had mentioned it to Kenny, and the two of them had a couple meetings with Lauren before she finally agreed to join. When she was signed with ROH, they had the perfect opportunity to finally bring her aboard officially.

The catch was, they hadn’t told the other members about her… not even her name. They all knew there was talk of bringing someone else on board, and they had all agreed, based on what they had heard, to have her join. None of them had met her, aside from Kenny and Cody.

Lauren knew the Club. She knew the members, and she knew what to expect. She also knew, this would mean that she would be working close with Adam Cole.

It had been years since she’d seen him last.

They had grown up together. Trained together.

He was her first crush, her first kiss, her first love. Then he had left.

Their careers took them in different directions for several years. Leaving them to never cross paths again. At least, not until now.

So, there she sat. Knees bouncing, hands running over her face. Just waiting. Waiting for her chance to reveal herself.

With a knock on her door, she knew it was time.

“Yea?” she called out.

“We’re headed out. You ready?” A voice called back.

Walking to the door, she opened it slowly. Just enough to see the person standing there through the slit.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she assured with a small smile.

“You sure you can do this?” Cody questioned, a brow furrowed.

“Yeah. I got this,” she solidified her smile as she looked up at him.

“Alright... See ya out there.”

She closed her door, walking back to her bag. Lauren quickly wrapped her hands, giving the guys a little extra time to get to the ring. Finally ready, she took a deep breath and opened her door.

Making her way to the staging area, she grabbed a mic and prepped herself. Listening to Adam ramble on about this and that, so she would know when to walk out the curtains, and preferably NOT fuck up.

It was show time.

“I’m sure you’re all curious who this new member is supposed to be, right?” She heard Adam prompting the audience.

The crowd cheers loudly in reply. They’ve been teasing this new member for months, but never dropped any hints as to who it might be.

“Well, we’ll get to that.” He smirked. “First, I hear there’s a new princess in Ring of Honor?”

The crowd erupts, knowing exactly who he is talking about.

“Seems all of you have taken a liking to her?”

Another round of cheers can be heard backstage.

“She’s wild, I’ll give her that,” Cody added. “But she’s too… good.”

“From what I hear, she needs to calm herself a bit. Could stand to get a little - what is it?” He snaps his fingers a couple times, as if trying to think of the words. He looks between the Bucks and Cody, who share the ring with him.

“Oh yea! A little rougher around the edges.” He laughs at his own comment.

That was her cue.

She stands just behind the curtain, tapping on her mic. As if to check if the sound is on. All four men look around, baffled by the interruption.

The lights go out. Soft blue and purple lights illuminate the arena instead. Finally, she makes her presence known.

Stepping from behind the curtain, and walking down until she stood in the middle of the ramp before she says a word.

“If I remember correctly, Adam, you always liked me just the way I was.” She cocked her head to the side, looking up at the four men. Though her gazed was fixed on one in particular.

“Well, well, well,” he began.

“Oh no. You’ve had your time to talk. Now it’s my turn,” she interrupted, a smirk playing on her lips.

Adam leaned on the top rope, just watching her. Doing his best not to break character. He hadn’t seen Lauren in years. Despite the time, he still felt that knot in his stomach seeing her. His heart was racing.

“I seem to remember you used to like my wilder side?” she teased, all a part of the act - of course - but this was getting fun. “What was it you used to tell me about my crazy?” She tapped her cheek, playfully thinking.

“Oh yes, that’s right. That it turned you on.” The smirk she leveled up at him could knock out a horse. She had clearly seen his eyes widen and a pink tint form on his cheeks.

“Do you really want that part of me gone, Adam?”

She started to slowly walk the rest of the way to the ring as she continued.

“I was your friend, your,” she whispered into the mic, “lover.”

Lauren started making her way up the steps on the corner of the ring. Her eyes never leaving Adam’s.

“Hell, you used to tell me I was your diamond in the rough. What happened to all that, Adam?”

“What are you doing here, Lauren?” he questioned, hoping his voice wouldn’t break as he watched her stepping through the ropes.

“Well, you were talking about me so much, I figured I might as well come join you so you could say it to my face.”

Now standing right in front of him, she could hear his breath catch.

She offered a sweet, innocent smile.

“Why? Why do you want to change me now? I thought you loved everything about me?” She shrugged. Taking a step back.

She starts walking around the ring a little as she presses on.

“You never know! If I change any more, you might start missin’ havin’ that old me around.” She cocked her hip and looked toward Adam over her shoulder suggestively.

“Is there a point to your rambling?” He cocked his head slightly, looking her over appraisingly.

“Sure,” she said in a very mono-tone, matter of fact, way.

Lauren stepped up to him again, holding her hand out to shake, eliciting a very confused look from Adam, Nick and Matt. Cody, on the other hand, had a rather mischievous smile on his face. He was proud of her, for being able to hold it together and pull it off so perfectly.

“My name is Lauren, and I, am your new teammate.” Her eyes, and lips, formed the perfect evil smile and glare.

“What?” Adam took a small step back, almost in shock.

Lauren felt an arm drape over her shoulder. She never took her eyes off Adam though.

“She’s right, guys!” Cody squeezed her shoulders a little in a hug.

“Well, Princess. Welcome to the team.”

Nick and Matt embraced her in a hug, before the five of them gathered in the center of the ring. Each throwing up a simple Too Sweet as the lights went completely out again.

As the five members of the Bullet Club made their way to the back again, Lauren felt an all too familiar arm wrap around her waist. A smile tugged at her lips, but she kept her composure and kept looking forward as they walked.

Once in the back, Lauren went to walk back to her locker room when she felt a tug on her wrist. Stopping and looking down to see the hand wrapped around her much smaller wrist, her eyes drifted up to the eyes of the man holding her back.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice sounding more like a low growl.

“We haven’t talked in years, Adam,” she replied softly with a light shrug. She wasn't gonna make a big deal about it. “Didn’t think it was overly important to tell you anything. Besides, I would have missed that beautiful, dumbfounded look you offered when you saw it was me…” she smirked.

“Fair enough.” He seemed to realize his still present hand upon her wrist and dropped the appendage. “Can we talk now, then?”

“Here? No.”

“Locker room?” She watched as his eyes softened.

“Fine. Mine.”

Lauren turned and started walking toward her locker room again. She could hear Adam’s footsteps behind her, knowing he was keeping his distance.

Once they got to the door, he stepped around her. Opening the door, he let her pass inside first before following. Adam closed the door behind him.

Standing for a moment, he set his hand against the door and dropped his head. Gathering his thoughts, his courage, and his voice, he finally turned to face her.

She was leaning against a table, feet and arms crossed in front of her. Just watching him. He hadn’t changed much, still the same beautiful eyes, tantalizing smile.

“I’ve missed you,” he said quietly. Affectionately.

“Coulda fooled me,” she retorted sharply, her tone harsher than she intended.

“I’m sorry. I should have done better with keeping in touch. I just… “

He looked down at her feet, trying to keep himself together.

This was a different side of him. One Lauren hadn’t seen in a very very long time.

“It’s fine.” She stood up, and slowly made her way toward where he stood. “We both made mistakes, alright?”

“No, it’s not alright.” He looked up, finally meeting her eyes. “I love you, and I got scared, and I fucked up.”

“Wh-What?” She took a step back.

He had never said… those... words before... Sure, she knew he liked her, hell maybe he did love her - but he had never actually said those three words out loud.

“You heard me, and I mean every word of it.”

He reached out and rested his hands on her waist. Gripping just tight enough, he pulled her toward him until she was flush against his body.

“I was stupid. And I’m sorry. How about you let me make it up to you?” He smiled down at her.

A knock, and the clicking of the door opening pulled their attention away from each other.

“Hey, Lauren, have you seen--” Cody paused when he saw the two standing together.

“Ah, nev-er m-ind then,” he dismissed awkwardly, smiling nonetheless.

Lauren had told Cody a little about her past with Adam, and he was happy to the two re-connecting.

“I take it you two made up then?” He quipped with a wink and a wide grin.

“We’re working on it, Cody,” she said with a lighthearted edge to her voice.

She looked up into Adam’s eyes. Her smile so wide it reached her eyes. “We’re working on it.”

#fanfiction #fanfic #ROH Wrestling #ROH fanfiction #ROH fanfic #adam cole #adam cole fanfic #adam cole one shot #adam cole oneshot #adam cole fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fanfic #all girls wrestling club #bullet club fanfiction #bullet club fanfic

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goddamnchou · 8 years ago

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Hello! I remember that a time ago you post some drafts on twitter about a kid!levi and kenny fic and a way more time ago one about vampire!levi. Do you intend to post them? I really understand if you don't, it's just that you're one of my fave fic writer and reading your writing is always a blessing.

omgg thank you anon ;___; the most recent vampire one i’ve been talking about i didn’t write anything of, but the kenny and levi one i did write some of for a day or two. i stopped after that and idk if i’ll finish it but i did write a good bit so i’ll just post it here since you asked, just fyi it cuts off suddenly

“Are you sure you wanna do this, sis?” Kenny asked, his voice stricken with a level of concern that was halfway between real and fake. “I mean, aren’t ya gonna miss the kid? A week is a long time.”

In response to his question, Kuchel - his little sister, who had stopped being little a long time ago and who he couldn’t pull the big brother card on anymore when she started bossing him around - just scoffed, rolling her eyes as she stepped into his open door, shoving a large travel bag into his arms roughly as if to demonstrate how determined she was not to take any of his shit. It made Kenny grimace, both because of what he wasn’t going to be able to get out of and because of how heavy the fucking bag was, and he closed the door behind Kuchel once she and her other delivery were safely inside.

“Of course I will.” She replied, in a sing-song voice that was directed to said package more than him - her son, Levi, who was 4 years of age and in Kenny’s opinion, too old for fucking baby talk and coddling. Unfortunately, though, his sister did not agree, as her back was to him and she was currently holding the tiny kid in her arms and kissing the side of his face, all while he stared over her shoulder at Kenny with a bored, unimpressed look. “I’ll miss him so much.”

“Kuchel!” Another voice rang out then, that of Uri, the man who for some reason liked putting up with Kenny’s shit enough to call him his partner.

They had a house that they’d bought and lived in for a while together, but because it was almost 8 hours away from Kuchel, Kenny had only had the pleasure of meeting his nephew a few times. He certainly had never babysat him, he thought with another grimace, which was what he was about to do - for an entire week. Why had he agreed to do this shit again, he wondered, when he didn’t know jack about taking care of kids? Oh right; his sister had needed the favor, and if his damned soft spot for her hadn’t convinced him all the way, Uri and the sway he too held with Kenny had made up the rest. He liked kids, Kenny knew, because his brother couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and had already given him a handful of nieces and nephews, and he for some reason thought that Levi was absolutely adorable.

Unfortunately, Kenny was not sure that he agreed. Sure, the runt was cute, he guessed, if you fell for small kids with chubby cheeks and big ears that stuck out like sore thumbs, but that shit was all just superficial. Kenny had sensed what lay behind that, had a feeling that Levi’s true nature was something diabolical and unruly, and knew that the sweet and obedient act he put on for his mother had to be just that: an act. In reality the little turd was probably the devil incarnate - all kids were, and he was an Ackerman, after all - and he could already tell his nephew was going to be a pain in his ass just from the cold glare he was still giving him over his mother’s shoulder. What the hell was his problem? Kenny wondered, scratching at his beard and watching Uri approach him and Kuchel.

“It's good to see you.” He told her, standing up onto his tiptoes to give her a kiss on both cheeks before he turned his attention to Levi. “There's the little man! Hi, Levi, do you remember me? I'm your Uncle Uri. I'm going to make sure you have so much fun while you're staying with us! Did you bring any toys?”

While Kenny fought the urge to gag and squeeze Uri to death because of his charming-to-him-but-actually-disgusting behavior, Levi turned his disinterested gaze to him as well, staring at him for several long seconds before he then buried his face in Kuchel’s shoulder.

“Sorry.” She said, while rubbing his back as Uri clapped his hands together and practically cooed like a hen. “He's shy.”

“Uh-huh.” Kenny couldn't resist uttering at that, snorting and sidling up beside Uri as if he was trying to shield him from Levi's misleading charms. “Sure.”

“Don't be like that, Kenny, look at him. He's just going to miss his mother.” Uri said though, smiling up at where Levi was still held and hiding his face but doing nothing more to get his attention.

Thankfully, Kuchel turned around too so his back was to them both, now sweeping her fingers through his hair soothingly while she spoke. “He’ll be alright. I brought a few toys, but lately he's just been fine to watch movies. His favorite one is in there, and so is his blanket. It helps him sleep through the night.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Kenny muttered at that, said under his breath but not quietly enough to keep him from getting a sharp elbow to the side from Uri and a dirty look from his sister.

“Watch your mouth around him, Kenny. If he comes back home with any new curse words, I'm gonna knock you out.” She said, in a tone that made Kenny throw up his hands defensively.

“Listen, I told you I'm not gonna swear!”

“You just did!”

“He didn't hear me! Look at him, he's not even paying attention. He's too busy crying into your shoulder.”

“He's not crying.” Kuchel told him, rolling her eyes at him again before she turned her attention back to Levi. “Are you, sweetheart? Mommy’s going to put you down now, alright? Why don’t you go put your backpack in your bedroom with Uncle Uri? I think he wants to show you something in there.”

At that, Kuchel bent to set Levi down on his own two feet like she’d said, brushing his bangs out of his face again before she stood up and he twisted his little head around to look up at Uri. Now that Kenny could see both of their expressions, the contrast in response to what Kuchel had just suggested could not have been more comical. Uri had brightened up instantly and was practically glowing, he noticed, as if showing Levi what they’d bought him in his bedroom - a bed shaped like a dinosaur at Kuchel’s recommendation, purchased specifically for this occasion even though Kenny hadn’t understood what was wrong with the old couch they had in there - was going to make his day.

Levi, on the other hand, looked disgruntled and constipated, with his tiny, thin brows drawn down and his nose scrunched up as if he found the thought of going with Uri to be like going to the damn dentist or something. Naturally, though, his shitty expression did nothing to sway Uri from his delight, which was good because he’d insisted on re-decorating Levi’s room so that he would be comfortable there, and because Kuchel had told him to, Levi had no choice but to follow him anyway, reluctantly trudging down the hall with his backpack in his arms after casting one last lingering glance at his mother.

“You need to be gentle with him, Kenny.” Kuchel said once they were out of earshot, crossing her arms and standing up straight to face him, giving him an icy look that was almost exactly identical to the one her brat had fixed at him.

“Shit.” Kenny said then, running a hand through his hair. “That thing looks just like you.”

“He’s not a ‘thing.’ He’s a little boy, and he’s sensitive. You can’t treat him like one of your bar buddies.”

“What the fuck? I’m not gonna, I told ya. It’ll be fine. I’ll sit him down and he can watch the game with me. I’ll give him a beer.”

“You can’t give him fucking beer, Kenny, he’s four!” Kuchel exclaimed at that, her voice raising in a way that made Kenny cringe. “Are you serious? He can’t have alcohol, it could ruin his development! He’s just started school, and-

“No, I’m not serious!” He all but shouted in response, holding his arms out in disbelief that she hadn’t laughed at his wisecracking. “It was a joke! You don’t gotta go all crazy mommy on me, sis, I’m not that stupid, alright? Calm down. I’m not gonna give him beer. I’ll give him liquor instead. It’ll loosen him up and we’ll get along great.”

In response to that, Kuchel just fixed him with another aggravated, scowly look, tightening her crossed arms and raising an eyebrow in response but saying nothing else. Clearly, she was completely unamused by his continued attempts at humor, and Kenny was only able to stare defiantly at her for another few seconds before he wilted and sighed.

“What do you want from me? You want me to carry him around like a damn baby the entire time like you’re doin’? Tuck him in at night and feed him with a bottle? I can’t do that, Kuchel, the kid is four for shit’s sake. When I was four, I’d already started feeding you ‘cus mom and dad weren’t there and grandpa was too old!”

“I know that.” Kuchel responded, glancing away with a frown at the mention of their parents. “That was our childhood, but that isn’t normal. I don’t want Levi’s to be like that. I want him to be able to be a kid for as long as he can before he finds out how shitty the world really is.”

God dammit. Kenny thought, pausing to stare up at the ceiling in a moment of exasperation. Why had he brought that up? Now Kuchel was getting serious with him and he could tell that this was something that meant a lot to her, and not that he didn’t sort of get it, he supposed, it was just...well, he wasn’t a fucking touchy-feely kind of guy. That was what Uri was for, but if the little shit acted like a little shit and didn’t listen to them, then what were they supposed to do? It wasn’t his fault that Kuchel thought Levi was some kind of angel when Kenny knew otherwise.

“Alright, fine. I’ll have Uri tuck him in and kiss his cheek and shit when he goes to bed. He’ll even read him a story if he wants, he loves doin’ that kinda thing, but to me it seems like Levi doesn’t want anything to do with us. Didn't you see that look he gave me when you walked in?”

“No. I told you, he's just shy. He doesn’t really know you, but he should warm up to you after a while as long as you don’t scare the shit out of him. Promise me you’ll behave?”

Snorting at the thought of Levi being scared of him, Kenny then shook his head too, waving his hands around at how Kuchel had just told him to behave like he was the demonic four year old. Why was she so worried about it, though? It wasn’t like he was going to do anything to traumatize the kid, and Uri was capable of giving him enough of that sappy, motherly attention that Kenny recoiled from for the both of them. “I don’t think I’m the one you gotta worry about behaving, but alright, sis. I promise I’ll be nice, and anyway, Uri is gonna be here like I said, so-

“I know, but he’s your nephew first.” Kuchel interrupted, her expression softening as she paused and bit her lip. She looked away again too, and hesitated while her face turned red, something that made him swear internally because it meant she was probably about to say some emotional shit that would make his skin crawl. “You could at least try and bond with him. I’ve been thinking that maybe you can get him out of his shell some. He doesn’t have many friends at school, and he needs that. He needs someone to look up to.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Kenny muttered, rubbing at his face and fighting exasperation all over again.

Was his sister serious? Why would she want her precious Levi to look up to him, of all people? He hadn’t amounted to shit and had done things that he was pretty sure condemned him to hell twice over - if there was such a place, anyway - and he didn’t think a piece of shit like him was the right person for Kuchel’s son to find a role model in. Even if he didn’t get kids or have a fatherly bone in his body, he knew Levi was more important than anything to her, and the last fucking thing he wanted was to be responsible for the kid turning out like...well, turning out like him.

She’d be disappointed if he did, Kenny thought, and he didn’t do well under pressure like that anyway. Shit, though, what could he say? Obviously Kuchel was pretty concerned about Levi’s behavior somehow if she was telling him this, and unfortunately, he’d never been able to shake the stupid, soft, protective instinct he’d developed as a kid to keep her safe and happy.

“Fine. Fine, fine fine.” He said more seriously this time, sighing in resignation. “I’ll try, but don’t come back cryin’ to me if the kid starts stealing bubblegum and sneaking out by the time he’s 10.”

“He won’t do that. I’ll make sure.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” Kenny said at that, snorting in jest and reaching out to wrap an arm around Kuchel’s neck. He pulled her towards him and patted her a bit in a rough, awkward sort of hug, and stood there a moment as she just stared at him before continuing. “Don’t worry about it, alright? Me an’ Uri got this. The kid will be fine. Just go and enjoy your vacation with your girlfriend.”

At that, Kuchel immediately smacked him on the chest and pushed herself away, shushing him in a half-panic and looking over her shoulder. “Shut up, Kenny! I told you not to call her that when Levi is here. He might overhear you!”

By then, Kenny was out of expression of disbelief and exasperation, so instead he just closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Fuck. He thought. This was going to be a long, long week. Kuchel going on vacation - a cruise with her “friend” Traute, whom she had met through Kenny - wouldn’t even change that, as he had no doubt that she would find some way to check up on him whenever she could so that she could get onto him for not treating Levi like a prince or being ‘sensitive’ enough to his emotions.

She seemed to think that they were complicated despite the fact that Kenny was pretty sure Levi couldn’t even read yet - Could he wipe his ass though, he wondered? He should probably ask that before Kuchel left - as she had apparently not told Levi that she had a girlfriend yet because she wasn’t ‘sure if he was ready for that.’ She wanted to make sure he was okay with Traute or some shit first, and gave him an entire lecture about not mentioning it to her son while he was babysitting him, despite the fact that the only reason he had to do it was because Kuchel had wanted to take some kind of romantic vacation with her.

Whatever. Kenny thought, waving a hand at her and nodding as if to pretend he understood, making a mental note that he hopefully wouldn’t forget to not mention Traute as anything other than Kuchel’s friend.

By the look on her face it was clear that she wasn’t really appeased, but thankfully, Uri chose that moment to come back with the little runt trudging behind him.

“He really liked the bed.” Uri announced proudly, walking towards them with a soft, dreamy smile on his face. “And I found out he likes stories. I’m confident that he’ll let me read to him there before he goes to sleep.”

Nodding her approval, Kenny watched as Kuchel bent back down to face Levi, smiling warmly at him while she placed her hands on his tiny shoulders. “You hear that, Levi? Your uncles are going to make sure to tuck you in every night. They’ll give you your blanket and read to you until you’re sleepy, just like Mommy does. Did Uncle Uri show you the nightlight?”

Biting his lip, Levi glanced over at Uri with his eyes widened before he returned to staring at Kuchel, giving her a nod in the affirmative that he had indeed been shown the nightlight.

“Okay. So there won’t be anything to be scared of while you’re sleeping, alright?”

Nodding again, this time sullenly like he didn’t quite believe what his mother was saying, Levi frowned and looked to the ground, his expression now turning into something pouty that made his bottom lip stick out. It was because Kuchel was getting ready to leave, Kenny figured, so that she could catch her flight out to the cruise ship, and Levi could apparently tell that it was time. He was unhappy about it, obviously, and so was Kuchel, who had explained to Kenny that she’d never left Levi for this long before. Kenny didn’t think it was that big of a deal because it was just a damn week and the kid probably wouldn’t even remember this shit later, but whatever. She wasn’t going to hear that, and their goodbye took so long that Kenny had to go take a seat on the nearby couch.

Slumping down on it with his long legs stretched out in front of him, he watched Levi cling to Kuchel like she was leaving him for good, his face pressed into her clothing pitifully while she rubbed at his back and hair and hugged him close. She was murmuring shit to him too that Kenny was now too far away to overhear, but that he presumed was more baby talk and reassurances to keep him from losing it. He honestly had the air of someone who was about to cry, which, of course, was nothing that Kenny had confidence in his ability to deal with - at least in any type of way that his sister would approve of, anyway. Thankfully, though, she managed to soothe him enough so that he eventually let go of her, his now slightly red, wet cheeks coming into view when she turned him around.

“He’s alright.” She said, kissing the side of his face one last time before she wiped the beads of snot that had accumulated under his nose with a tissue. “He’s going to be brave.”

Beside him, Uri brought his hands up to his chest and smiled like he’d just witnessed a miracle while Kenny grimaced, his expression only growing worse when Uri suddenly reached down to grab something to hold onto in an awed, silent rush of emotion. Unfortunately, what he sought out happened to be Kenny’s fingers, and unfortunately, Kenny had long ago lost the strength that it took to pull away. Instead, he told himself that he was just humoring Uri and not actually thinking about how soft his hands were, but that didn’t stop his ears from burning like a stupid teenager or something when Kuchel caught sight of it and smirked wickedly.

It was the expression of a ruthless sibling who had just realized they’d just found new, embarrassing ammo to shoot the other one with, and Kenny fully expected her to start right then and there, to stand up and relentlessly tease him about it until he thought he might explode. Uri always laughed and smiled knowingly while she did that - which did not fucking help - but thankfully, she instead focused on getting out the door, giving Uri a hug and a kiss on the cheek while uttering some last minute instructions about what kind of food Levi liked before saying goodbye to him for good, the look she gave Kenny giving him no doubt that she was just going to file that shit away for later.

Look how soft you are. He could almost hear her saying. What happened to my brother, who used to say he didn’t need anyone?

Scowling at the imaginary conversation he was now having in his head - When had he ever said he needed Uri? He hadn’t; he just chose to have him around because he wanted to - Kenny gave his sister another quick, rowdy hug before she left, mumbling something to her about having a good time before she was gone. She’d given Levi one more wave before she’d walked out the door and told him to be good, and Kenny found that he could not give the kid any shit for the stricken look on his face when he suddenly felt a similar emotion inside too.

Shit. He thought, absentmindedly scrubbing his fingers through his beard again. What the fuck did he do now? What should he get the kid, if anything? Food? Water? Milk? Why wasn’t he talking? He was just standing there, and he hadn’t said a single thing in Kenny’s presence since he’d walked in, he realized, but he was pretty sure he was old enough to speak. He had heard him say shit to Kuchel once before, hadn’t he?

“Hey, kid.” He said at that thought, swallowing the trepidation - he wasn’t going to be intimidated by a toddler, that was ridiculous - when they all remained silent for a few more seconds and Uri looked at him expectantly. He motioned for him to do something encouragingly too, but Levi, on the other hand, was eyeing them both with that shitty stare on his face again. He looked sinister, in fact, like he was standing there plotting all of the ways he was going to misbehave and wreck Kenny and Uri’s house, but he had to say something, he guessed. “You remember me, don’t’cha? I’m your Uncle Kenny. Are you gonna behave for us while your mom’s gone?”

As he’d spoken, Kenny had crouched down in front of Levi like he’d seen Kuchel do, draping his arms over his legs casually and doing his best to look him in the eye even though he was still about a foot above his head. In response, naturally, the kid just kept staring at him, his eyes looking him up and down once like he was fucking sizing him up or something before, surprisingly, he finally did speak.

“You’re not my dad.” He declared, in an obstinate tone that made Kenny frown.

“No shit.” He responded, snorting loudly and crudely in a way that caused Levi to make a face. “That’s a good thing. Your dad was a worthless, no good son of a bitch fuckwad, and-

“Kenny!” Uri hissed at that, interrupting him by shoving his bony elbow into the side of his shoulder as best he could.

Oh right, he remembered. He wasn’t supposed to curse.

#words #levi ackerman #kenny ackerman #kuchel ackerman #i LOVE THE ACKERMANS OK #Anonymous

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junker-town · 7 years ago

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Jeremy Lin sees his dreadlocks as cultural appreciation not appropriation

Kenyon Martin didn’t approve of Jeremy Lin’s new hairstyle. That didn’t stop Lin from getting his message across.

Brooklyn Nets point guard Jeremy Lin is known to change his hairstyle from time to time. On Wednesday, he showed the world his newest style of choice: dreadlocks.

So...about my hair! Link in bio!! @chap #dreaded

A post shared by Jeremy Lin (@jlin7) on Oct 3, 2017 at 2:26pm PDT

In a piece on The Player's Tribune titled "So... About My Hair," Lin opened up about his frequent hairstyle changes, how he viewed his decision to lock his hair as honoring African-American culture, and the ways he has seen his Taiwanese culture appropriated in America.

I’ll be honest: At first I didn’t see the connection between my own hair and cultural appropriation. Growing up, I’d only ever picked from one or two hairstyles that were popular among my friends and family at the time. But as an Asian-American, I do know something about cultural appropriation. I know what it feels like when people get my culture wrong. I know how much it bothers me when Hollywood relegates Asian people to token sidekicks, or worse, when it takes Asian stories and tells them without Asian people. I know how it feels when people don’t take the time to understand the people and history behind my culture. I’ve felt how hurtful it is when people reduce us to stereotypes of Bruce Lee or “shrimp fried rice.” It’s easy to brush some of these things off as “jokes,” but eventually they add up. And the full effect of them can make you feel like you’re worth less than others, and that your voice matters less than others.

So of course, I never want to do that to another culture.

But that didn’t stop Kenyon Martin from chiming in.

The former Nets great made a series of remarks calling Lin out as someone who merely wants to be black.

First, he posted and later deleted a photo of Lin’s dreads with the caption: “I’m confused, puzzled, in shock, disappointed in his teammates and the Nets as an organization for allowing this foolishness!!!”

Then he followed up with two videos where he continued to bash Lin’s choice to sport dreads. Those videos have since been deleted but were cut together and posted on YouTube:

youtube

“Do I need to remind this damn boy his last name Lin?" Martin said in his video "Like, come on, man. Let's stop it with these people. There is no way possible he would've made it on one of our teams with that bulls--t on his head. Come on man, somebody need to tell him, like, 'alright bro, we get it. You wanna be black.' Like, we get it. But your last name is Lin.'

“I see I done ruffled a few of y’all feathers, so... good. Take y’all comments to the bank and see what they give y’all for them. That’s what I think about them, first and foremost. But that man (Lin is) grown. He can rock whatever hairstyle he wanna rock. It don’t mean I have to like it or agree with it. Second of all, I’m grown. I can say whatever I wanna say about whatever I wanna say about. It ain’t about race, it ain’t about none of that. Grow up people, it was a joke. But I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it, so it is what it is. I love it. I’m having a fabulous Wednesday, man. Y’all do the same... Go Cowboys.”

Lin responded to K-Mart with respect for his opinion, his Nets legacy, and, of course, the Chinese characters Martin tattooed on his forearm.

“Hey man. It’s all good you don’t have to like my hair and definitely entitled to your opinion. Actually i legit grateful you sharing it [to be honest]. At the end of the day I appreciate that I have dreads and you have Chinese tattoos [because] I think it’s a sign of respect. And I think as minorities, the more we appreciate each other’s cultures, the more we influence mainstream society. Thanks for everything you did for the Nets and hoops...had your poster on my wall growin up.”

He went more in-depth about his back-and-forth with K-Mart after scoring 16 points in Brooklyn’s preseason win over Miami on Thursday.

Jeremy Lin spoke extensively about Kenyon Martin's comments after the game: http://pic.twitter.com/JaDH1Du8V0

— Anthony Puccio (@APOOCH) October 6, 2017

“First I’d hope that a lot of Asian fans don’t go on his page and say racist things to him. I think that’s not the right way to go about it and I think in a lot of way to pit us against each other, like, ‘I won versus Kenyon Martin winning.’ I don’t think that’s the right way to go about it. It’s not really about winning or losing. The whole point is that we’re trying to be unified so I feel like even sometimes when people come to me and say, ‘Oh man you embarrassed him.’ It’s like ‘dude that’s not what this is about.’ Right, that’s not the whole point of this discussion is to pit it into two sides to see who wins. The whole point is that we all have to get on the same page. We need to have people stop going on his page and saying racist things. Like, that’s not OK. That’s what I would say, at the end of the day, kind of like what I said in my article. We just need to spend a little more time thinking about what we say, thinking about what it’s like to be somebody else. At the end of the day he said what he said, but im not really that offended. If that’s how he thinks, that how he thinks.

“My job is to be gracious and loving. I think if I can share a little bit of my side, then the next time he might have a different viewpoint. He might have a different viewpoint in a week, but not if my whole fanbase comes behind and calling him – I didn’t see it – but I heard people were saying the ‘n’ word on his page. That’s not what I stand for and that’s not helping us move in the direction new want to move in. And I think both sides need to come together. Then I think like I said in my comment, as minorities if we are able to appreciate it – if Asians are able to be passionate about issues that aren’t just related to Asians. If African Americans are able to be passionate about issues that aren’t just related to African Americans, I think we’ll see something big start to happen. I think we’ll be able to influence mainstream society and that’s the ultimate goal. All this pitting me against him – or whatever that creates division I don’t stand for.”

Finally, Lin appeared on SportsCenter late Thursday night, where he spoke to ESPN’s Cary Chow about how people of different backgrounds should come together in America, regardless of which culture is under the 8-ball.

Jeremy Lin (@JLin7) on SC addressing his @PlayersTribune piece on cultural appropriation & race relations. Link: https://t.co/RvLLTI8HmZ http://pic.twitter.com/EKEBsUAZin

— Cary Chow (@carychowESPN) October 5, 2017

Hey, wait. I have hair, too.

Like Lin, I’ve changed my hair up quite a bit in my life. My mother’s half Filipino and half black, and my father’s of Trinidadian descent. I’ve had a Mohawk, a tape-up and a No. 2 with waves that made you seasick; I’ve had the Usher cut (AKA “The South of France), I’ve been bald for a week. The list goes on.

Dreadlocks, though, tend to be sported primarily by people of African and West Indian descent. In other words, it’s not every day you see an Asian-American rocking dreads. But that doesn’t mean those people doesn’t exist.

I’ve never locked my hair. It didn’t seem like me, and it’s a long, treacherous process to get them to a good place. So I asked Twitter late Thursday night:

I've never had dreads. Does anyone actually find Jeremy Lin growing locks offensive? I don't https://t.co/trpwPhAJFX

— U bum (@Krisplashed) October 5, 2017

Just these fake wannabe woke people. Personally I don't give a damn if he wanna wear dreds let the kid wear dreds he ain't hurting nobody

— DemiGodSquad (@NotSkeeter) October 5, 2017

I didn't know different races owned hairstyles.

— Samuel Unger (@Unger2Unger) October 5, 2017

No they don’t. It’s just certain people are viewed differently while others are embraced. Culture is all some have left

— Mega(Lo) (@chuck_dubz) October 5, 2017

Idk Lin’s always shown appreciation for Afro culture....surprisingly he’s not the first asian I’ve seen with dreads

— Kenny Cole Jr. (@ORIGINALI_TY) October 5, 2017

I thought hair was just hair.

— Detroit Soul (@zapataguevera) October 5, 2017

For some, hair is just that: hair. But for others, it’s a symbol of a freedom they may not have been afforded in their life.

I fall somewhere in the middle. I love my hair, and there are certain things I wouldn’t do with it. Locks are one of those things, but not because I’d be appropriating another culture: It just wouldn’t look good on me.

Hair can be a touchy topic, both literally and figuratively. But Lin changing his hair and provoking K-Mart’s comments opened the lines of communication between two cultures in the same country. And given the divisive climate in this country, that’s more progress than we’ve seen in awhile.

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