#idk it just sits with me the wrong way when a character has a whole arc about realizing she's been in a coerced consent situation for YEARS

[gritandoengay]

This is a response I had written for @justmenoworries, who reblogged my post and then blocked me so that I couldn't respond directly. Cheers.

*Sighs*

Alright, I said I wasn't going to do this, but you came in with your diatribe so here we go. This is for any person that comes across this post and hasn't seen the show (I doubt you have, but I can't force you to sit down and actually watch it you know)

"No, it's not "drama" that Caitlyn hit Vi, her girlfriend"

Out of all the reasons for disliking CaitVi, this one is the most understandable, but you're still taking it out of context. Vi wasn't Caitlyn's "girlfriend" when she hit her, she was the sister of the psychopath that had kidnapped Caitlyn and murdered her mother, and in that moment Caitlyn was furious because Vi stopped her from taking down Jinx.

Was the hit justified? No, but this wasn't domestic abuse in a relationship setting. Either way, we see Caitlyn's regret over hitting her during their love scene, and Vi signals that she's accepted the apology by literally pulling Caitlyn in to continue making out. There's even a deleted scene that shows Caitlyn crying right after hitting Vi, but I'm not going to include that here because it's not canon. Also, idk if you ship T*meBomb, but it would be a big hypocrisy to be a fan of that ship but not CaitVi, considering Jinx literally murdered Ekko's friends and has tried to kill him. 

"An Enforcer uniform (that Caitlyn basically emotionally blackmailed her into wearing."

Caitlyn didn't “emotionally blackmail” Vi into joining the strike team, she literally apologizes for asking her to:

“I was wrong to spring the badge on you.” 

Vi decides to join the strike team not because Caitlyn “emotionally blackmailed” her, but because she sees that as the best option to prevent an outright invasion of the Undercity (which the Council had already voted on) and because she still views Jinx as her responsibility. 

"Caitlyn is a fascist dictator for the majority of season 2. Literally gives Ambessa her blessings to enact martial law, violently occupies the Undercity and has people beaten, arrested and thrown into the hellhole prison that is Stillwater by her forces en masse, all in pursuit of one woman."

Caitlyn confronts Ambessa about the martial law, because at that point she's starting to realize that this whole thing might be fucked up. You want examples of Caitlyn calling out Ambessa and showing that she's, if anything, trying to curb the worst of Piltover's/Noxus's forces? Here you go:

“Why is peace always the justification for violence?” 

“There are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up ‘till now, I have forbidden their use."

Was Caitlyn's "dictator" era morally correct? Of course not, it's purposefully an arc about her going down a dark path. But there's this thing called character growth, which we see in Caitlyn when she realizes what she's done and regrets it, she even verbalizes this and shows us through her actions:

Vi: “She [Ambessa] oinked poison in your ear and you just ate it.” 

Caitlyn: “I know!”

2. “We can't erase our mistakes.”

3. “No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.”

4. "Hating you, I've hated myself." - To Jinx herself, i.e. she realizes that her obsession with Jinx has warped her into a person she doesn't want to be. Look at that, Caitlyn herself agrees with you!

5. Letting Jinx go. Literally letting the person that murdered her mother go, in part because she decided she loves Vi more than she hates Jinx. 

6. Losing an eye and almost dying confronting Ambessa, precisely because she's the one that enabled Ambessa's reign of terror in Zaun, so she sees it as her responsibility to stop Ambessa. 

I'm not a fan of Caitlyn because she looked hot in a cape. I'm a fan of Caitlyn because she realized she had been manipulated into doing/enabling some fucked up stuff in the midst of her grief and she actively chose to face the consequences, even if it literally almost cost her her life. That makes her compelling to me.

I'll end on this though:

What is truly disgusting is you comparing queer PoC to the KKK (who literally lynched Chinese people as well) over a fictional character. You need to grow up and direct that anger at the actual Nazis currently in the government trampling over our human rights. I'm posting this during my lunch break, after which I will go back to fighting against a law that wants to ban gender affirming care for minors in my state.

I only come on this app like once every two or three months to reblog fan art of whatever wlw ship I'm currently hyper fixating on and then dip. I'm Old TM by fandom standards and have spent way too much time in the trenches of fandom discourse to have the energy for that again, I've done my time. I'm not here to write a lengthy essay defending Caitlyn and/or CaitVi - no, I'm here simply to share an observation:

Many of you Caitlyn and CaitVi haters are super predictable.

Y'all have been regurgitating the same talking points since fucking 2014. Might not be the same people (god I hope it's not), but it's the same. thing. every. time. Doesn't matter the genre of the show or what happens between the characters, y'all will trot out the same reheated arguments.

"Caitlyn is a fascist dictator and you are a N*zi if you support her"

Is just reheated "Lexa is a fascist dictator" and "Catra is a fascist dictator" and "Edelgard is a fascist dictator." I would argue that Caitlyn is actually the least morally grey of that group, but anyway, it's "curious" how all these properties have equally (or even more) morally grey male characters that get rehabed by the fandom while the wlw are irredeemable fascists that only N*zis would like.

"CaitVi is a toxic relationship, Caitlyn is a domestic abuser that physically beats up Vi all the time and/or manipulates her"

None of these points are supported at all by the text imo, but anyway, it's the same language used to describe Clexa and Catradora and god knows how many other wlw ships in shows with popular non-wlw ships that have very similar dynamics. Even compared to other popular Arcane ships, this accusation is super hypocritical given how TimeBomb beat the shit out of each other in season 1 and Jayce literally blasts a hole in Viktor's chest for plot reasons. I would also like to point out that the super harmful stereotype of lesbians being domestic abusers was born out of wildly misinterpreted statistics of domestic abuse in real life.

"JayVik and/or Timebomb is actually more queer than CaitVi"

Is just badly reheated pasta made from the same ingredients as "Makorra is actually more queer than Korrasami" and "Bellarke is actually more queer than Clexa" and "Hordtrapta is actually more queer than Catradora" and "Dimileth is actually more queer than Edeleth" and "Huntlow is actually more queer than Lumity" , the arguments are always just as nonsensical because there's just flat out no such thing as a same sex ship being "less queer" than any other ship.

CaitVi literally fuck, on screen, in a sex scene that has literally won a god damn award and went on to become the most captured moment in all of godman Netflix. Regardless of your opinion on the ship, that visibility is important. The fact that a whole theater full of people started screaming as loudly as a jet engine with executives from Riot to hear it all is important.

The final scene of the show is literally them snuggling in front of the fire place and promising to always be together. That's gay as fuck. So, stop embarrassing yourself with this regurgitated "X canon wlw ship isn't as queer as -" nonsense, which btw, is just an extension of real life same sex relationships between women not being taken seriously because society overall still centers men in romance and can't fathom a romantic relationship not involving a man. Y'all know you can't even debate me on this in fandom spaces because all I have to do is point at the number of mlm and f/m fics on ao3 vs the crumbs that big fandoms give wlw ships.

Now on to the excuses and disclaimers that are trotted out.

"I can't be misogynistic I'm a woman-" Yes, yes you can. If you think that only conservative women can suffer from internalized misogyny, boy do I have years of working in leftist organizing spaces to dispel that notion. If you think that fandom spaces are somehow immune to misogyny- lol. Lmao. See the above point about mlm and f/m fics on ao3.

"I can't be lesbophobic/biphobic I'm literally queer -" Yes, yes you can. Both intersect with misogyny, and see the above point about misogyny. You can be a biphobic lesbian, you can be a lesbophobic bisexual, you can even be a biphobic bisexual and a lesbophobic lesbian. Wild, I know, thank the cis- heteropatriarchy.

"I can't be racist because I'm a POC -" Yes, yes you absolutely fucking can. I also have other news for you - despite how much some of you fuckers want to pretend Caitlyn isn't East Asian because of racist assumptions of what East Asians should look like and/or be depicted like in media, she is, and she's important rep, especially in a time when anti-East Asian (and Asian in general) bigotry has been rising in Western countries. No amount of "ACAB BLM Free Palestine" tags in your profile will make you immune from being racist. This leads me to a related point -

Y'all love to scream about wanting more rep with sapphic woc, but then when that rep comes, you tear it down or center other ships. Korrasami is toxic, CaitVi is toxic, Tanthamore is boring, Lumity is fine but I prefer Huntlow, etc.

Furthermore, the only, and I mean only time that black sapphic characters will be mentioned will be to prop them up as good rep vs whatever wlw you hate, but then when I go to those black sapphic character's/ship's Tumblr and ao3 tags, nothing! It's a ghost town! Those characters get paid dust by both wlw fandoms and the people using them as props to hate on other wlw characters! This is definitely a call out to wlw fandoms too btw, I have yet to see a ship with a black sapphic character explode in popularity, and that's on us too.

So, what is the purpose of this rant? Well, I know that most people that read it will dig in and further entrench themselves in their hatred of Caitlyn and CaitVi, but I'm hoping that at least one person genuinely re-examines that hatred and where it might be coming from. You don't have to like Caitlyn or CaitVi, you can criticize the ship and the characters. But if your criticisms and hatred are almost beat for beat the same accusations that have been thrown at wlw ships in even wildly different shows and contexts, and/or you excuse male characters and non-wlw ships with similar dynamics, then it's time to do some soul searching.

Anyway, this has already been long enough. I'm doing policy advocacy with local LGBTQ organizations and will go back to working on that. Whatever your opinions of Caitlyn and CaitVi are, there are fascists out there in the real world to fight.

[aritany]

y'all.... i'm supposed to go on sub tomorrow👀

[burningcheese-merchant]

Finally made a BurningCheese chart. I can finally die now /j

More detailed explanations under cut. I admit that my placements are a liiiiiiiiiittle all over the place because I ship BurningCheese a bunch of different ways, but for the most part it's really the enemies to lovers + redemption arc from my main canon influencing my thoughts here

Tropes: idk if this really needs much elaboration. Enemies to Lovers + Soulmates + Forbidden Love (the hero/villain type) + God Couple + Narrative/Character Foils + Golden Cheese has some tsundere tendencies at points + Burning Spice's yandere tendencies + Tall and Short + idk the exact names of all the tropes man lol. These are probably the most important ones

Age Difference: who actually knows lol. They're both old coots, that's the gist of it. They're so old that they both knew the Burger King when he was a prince. They're so old their birth certificates already expired. They're so old that if you told them to act their age, they'd keel over and die on the spot. Old people being madly in love even after so many years is so cute 😭

Height Difference: If your Burning Spice does not have to duck when walking through doorways then you're imagining him wrong. Hell I STILL might've made him too short. Golden Cheese must barely reach his shoulder while standing and fit snugly in his lap while sitting, It Is Decreed (I know 5'7" isn't THAT short, I'm just leaning into the short queen jokes)

Trust Lvl: This was a little tough for me because I was juggling multiple factors at once. I gave BS 100% trust because I think, no matter what, he genuinely would trust her. To love him, to be loyal, to be there when he needs her, to beat his ass black and blue when necessary, to listen to what he has to say about things. He's giving his whole entire self to her without hesitation or regrets. / There's that bit of the bar still empty for Golden Cheese because, even when she warms up to him (and she never once doubts his love for her, that's not the issue), she's not entirely sure of what he'll do. For a long while yet, some part of her will worry that he will turn on her and resume his reign of terror at any moment. She needs time and consistency. Proof that he will choose her over destruction if and when pushed. When he's fully able to do that, THEN she trusts him fully. (Outside of the main canon, it remains a bit empty (even LOWER in some instances) bc he very much remains evil and she cannot abide by that)

Jealousy Lvl: Burning Spice is jealous and possessive but not overly so. He doesn't really need to be; he knows his little bird is loyal. But she's a beautiful woman in more ways than one, and he's far from the only person to notice that. So he gets mad when he catches anyone making goo-goo eyes at her, or even flirting if they somehow have the gumption. He doesn't harm them anymore but he will step in and make some show of dominance, like grabbing her and pulling her into a kiss or scooping her up in his arms. Something to pointedly demonstrate that she is HIS and no one else's. / Golden Cheese is very confident and secure; she knows her worth and she knows and trusts that Burning Spice would never stray. But... in the end, she's still Golden Cheese. She's still greedy. She still doesn't want anyone coveting what is hers, no matter what. It's practically a compulsion at this point. So in those (thankfully rare) moments where some floozy who's forgotten her place tries to make a move on HER man, then she's more than happy to correct her. (The encounter ends with Spice covered in kiss marks (and super happy) and the wannabe homewrecker in tears because Golden can be a MEAN girl when she tries)

Horny Lvl: I might've made a mistake not marking Spice's a little bit higher because he's definitely a horndog lol. Of course he's not completely fucking bonkers but he does often struggle to keep his hands off of his bird wife. Physical touch is his main love language anyway + goddamn it she's gorgeous she's everything he ever wanted he NEEDS HER- / Golden Cheese very much enjoys sex and thinks their sex life is perfect, but she's not as needy as him. Like, she doesn't DIE for it unless it's been too long. She has self-control/discipline and other things to think about lol (there's actually a nsfw ship chart that I've thought about filling out and posting, but idk if I should. I have a billion headcanons for them, sfw and nsfw. I'm just nervous abt the latter because I feel kind of embarrassed lol. I usually save the freaky stuff for AO3)

Clingy Lvl: Again, physical touch is Burning Spice's main love language. That combined with his time in prison (millennia in isolation) and Golden Cheese being his literal soulmate makes for a good deal of separation anxiety lol. He will give her space if she really pushes, and of course he has things he wants to do on his own time and she can't always be around. But... no matter what, at the end of the day, he NEEDS her back in his arms. He gets bored and lonely really fast without her. She makes his day better just being near him. He needs to touch her, hold her, hear her voice, run his hands through her wings, taste those pretty lips again... / With all of the hardship she's endured in her life, Golden Cheese has developed a certain tolerance for solitude. Of course she'd rather have company, including his, but if push comes to shove, she can handle being alone. She's fiercely independent in many aspects of her life. Her time with Burning Spice can wait if something more important comes up. She won't die without him. (But she'll certainly miss him)

How It Happens: come on man, you played the game, didn't you? BS falling head over heels on sight, feelings only deepening with time and closeness, and him doing everything in his power to be near her as often as possible? For sure. Golden Cheese taking 10000 years to warm up to him, slowly starting to see the halfway decent man buried deep down beneath the blackened soil of his heart, starting to care for him and want him by her side without even realizing it at first, and trying to deny it when she finally does realize what's happening? Definitely

Relationship Attitude: Obviously they're both very much in love and devoted to each other, but Golden Cheese dials it back a bit in public - just for the sake of appearances, really. She's the queen; she can't go about acting like a lovestruck schoolgirl, she has a reputation to uphold. Burning Spice, on the other hand, absolutely does not give a fuck about what anyone has to say about anything at all. He WILL trap his little bird in a warm embrace and he WILL smother her with kisses and fuck whoever is standing there watching, they can fuck off and mind their own business

First to Confess: He may not have said the exact words "I love you" but good Lord he may as well have with how he behaves in episode 6 lmao. 555-COME-ON-NOW (and omg he is SO fucking happy she eventually says it back)

First to Kiss: Spice. Duh lol. Honestly the only reason he didn't kiss her during eps 5 and 6 is because Devsis are a bunch of cowards

First to Apologize: Another tough one bc they're both very proud/stubborn and would probably demand the other apologize before they do. But because Golden Cheese is a hero at her core, I think it's a bit more likely that she'd say it first. Usually.

Initiates Contact: Spice all the way. He even initiated when they first met lol. He's always the one seeking her out, starting conversations, getting those big strong arms of his around her. Not that she never initiates, he just does it a lot more

Spoils the Other: In total honesty I think they both spoil the other, just in different ways. Golden Cheese with food and trinkets and general pampering, Burning Spice with that physical affection of his. Plenty of flirting and compliments from both. But Goldie is Goldie so of course she wins lol. As if she wouldn't lavish her lover with the finest of everything all the time

Wakes Up First: As queen, Golden Cheese has long since grown accustomed to rising bright and early to attend to her kingdom and subjects. "Early bird gets the cheese" and all that. Burning Spice sleeps like the dead and always wakes up after her (usually to grumble about her getting up bc he doesn't want her to. He tries to hold her hostage in bed almost every morning)

Does the Cooking: Believe it or not, Burning Spice is actually a pretty good chef (I headcanon him as such haha). Golden Cheese really loves the food he makes (he's best with food from his own culture, but he does a good job with other things too) and she's used to other people cooking for her (she's pretty basic at it tbh. She doesn't burn water like Hollyberry but she can't do much) so hubby making her good food? Yes please

Does the Housework: I cannot imagine Golden Cheese NOT being a bit of a neat freak. Why wouldn't she want everything looking pristine 24/7, to fit her immaculate visions of an immaculate, prosperous land? Burning Spice is Burning Spice, he would sleep on the fucking floor and in piles of trash and dirty clothes (and probably has tbh) if left alone, he is literally Destruction why would he clean anything. He gets pissy when he sweeps the floor with a broom for 5 seconds he ain't doing no housework unless forced to (which he often is)

Does the Talking: Was going to leave just Goldie but tbh I don't see Spice just standing there while she talks. He'd want to talk himself. He'd want to participate. He's not shy, he's no introvert. They're both asserting themselves in conversations for sure

The More Popular: I chose to define "popular" as "regarded with affection and respect by many", thus handing it to Goldie. Spice has his soldiers and they are numerous, but they obey him only out of fear. Golden is genuinely loved and listened to. (Even post-redemption, people just gravitate to her more lol. Just how it is)

The Designated Driver: Burning Spice behind the wheel is a doomsday scenario. He has been preemptively banned from driving to prevent death and property damage and war crimes. Fine, whatever, he'd rather walk. He doesn't need this newfangled contraption no matter how cool it is. Come on let him drive a monster truck 200 mph through concrete walls :(

The Better Caregiver: I'm certain they'd both take care of each other when sick or injured. Doubly so since both would probably balk at being fussed over lol. (I know Golden has her attendants and likes being pampered but I feel like it would just hit different with Spice, you know?) They're both proud and stubborn and need to appear strong all the time... But when the shoe is on the other foot, they'd both do whatever they can for the other regardless of their protests. (Especially true on Spice's part when Golden is pregnant with their kids, he goes above and beyond for her both times)

The Overprotective One: This is more so when Golden is pregnant tbh. Any other time, they don't really worry much about each other's safety as they're very confident in each other's strength and fighting capabilities ("I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me"). When she's pregnant, Spice goes full Protective Husband/Papa Bear mode and both worships the ground she walks on and fusses over he constantly, almost treating her like a porcelain doll. Her needs and wants are always met immediately, but he basically becomes her second shadow and is even hostile to other people who interact with her. It's both sweet and frustrating

The Planner: Golden Cheese planned a whole ass highly detailed virtual reality where her subjects could live again. Burning Spice forsook planning and anything like it in his descent into villainy as he couldn't bring himself to care about it anymore. Destruction doesn't need a plan. So yeah, Golden is the planner for sure. Best Spice would do is maybe try to plan dates because he wants to please/impress her

"Excuse me, they asked for no pickles": Spice just likes watching Golden go and firmly correct people lol. It's funny and hot. He doesn't even really care that the pickles are there, he just loves her assertiveness

Big Spoon VS Little Spoon: Was going to leave Spice on Big Spoon end and Golden on Little Spoon end but tbh, they'd split it. Spice is Big Spoon more often than not but Golden would definitely be Big Spoon too. They holdin each othah

Early Bird VS Revenge Procrastination: refer to "Wakes Up First". Golden has a kingdom to run, can't sleep in. Spice technically does too but whatever they're tough they can do shit on their own, he wants to lay in bed with his bird wife go away

Tidy VS Chaotic: Refer to "does the housework". Golden Cheese cares about appearances and functionality, she wants her kingdom and living space clean and beautiful and the envy of the world. Burning Spice is Burning Spice

Screams Over Bugs VS Kills/Removes Bugs: I don't think Golden would do either tbh. Probably just shoo the bug away. Spice is squashing that fucker though, even post-redemption (old habits die hard)

Lends Clothes VS Borrows Clothes: Spice doesn't really have too many clothes to lend tbh (too big + not really her style). She mostly nabs any jewelry he has lol. He doesn't mind, he actually really adores that she'll wear his things. He sees it as a show of pride in their relationship. (Shhh... Sometimes, when they've been apart for a long time and his absence feels particularly painful, she'll grab one of his dhotis and wrap herself up in it. Bring it to her face, breathe in his scent. Revel in its softness. Don't tell anyone)

Takes Hints VS Clueless: ngl as forward as Spice is with Golden, I'm not sure he'd notice or care if anyone else flirted with him. He just doesn't seem like the type to have ever cared about that sort of thing, both as Herald and as Beast. Too wrapped up in other ideas and pursuits (and in the event that he actually caught on to someone hitting on him, Herald would've politely turned them down and Beast would viciously mock them and probably kill them). Like, Golden actually is the one person that ever caught his eye. And she's got more relationship experience under her belt and knows how to be subtle, so there actually are times when she says or does something and it goes over his head (it's cute and funny sometimes and frustrating others)

Romantic VS Casual: They're certainly not casual but I think Golden would put more effort into being romantic just as a consequence of who she is. That "wanting to pamper and adore my lover to the fullest extent" thing. Spice didn't care about love or romance before her, and was just never really a romantic type. He tries to pick it up more just for her. But what he perceives to be romantic doesn't always align with "tradition" (ex: he thinks their brutal fights are hot/romantic). He does have some charm, he can be smooth, he can do genuinely sweet and romantic things. But it's something he learns and refines over time

Decisive VS Indecisive (I FORGOT THIS ONE FUCK): They're both pretty decisive and firm in their decisions. What makes Golden hesitate is specifically her relationship and interactions with Spice. Grappling with the reality of her feelings and attachment and their relationship. Wondering if he'll turn on her when she lets her guard down. Struggling with the morality of it all. Fearing rejection to a small degree maybe. (I honestly like the concept of the Beasts and Ancients bringing things out of each other that no one else can or has. Like how Shadow Milk makes Pure Vanilla genuinely angry, or Burning Spice makes Golden Cheese doubt herself and her choices. I want them all keeping each other on their toes. Challenging each other. Making each other upset when they're happy and happy when they're upset. You know what I mean?)

Mature VS Playful: I think they're both equally playful with each other tbh. Something they're both on the same level with. Lots of banter (I love writing their back-and-forths, imo they'd keep up with each other so well), lighthearted sarcasm and jabs and jokes, some play fighting/roughhousing. They have fun with each other

Straightforward VS Vague: Spice has been telling Golden things to her face from minute 1. Just admitting all of his shit to her. Spilling his spaghetti. He likes her, he wants her, they're going to be together forever. Point blank period.

Confident VS Shy: Of course they're both super confident, do I have to elaborate? Lol

Ray of Sunshine VS Done™️: Golden may not be on the same level as Pure Vanilla (nobody is lol) but even so, all things considered, she seems like a relatively happy person. Still finds joy in life and things. She's not cold or stoic or anything like that. Spice... I probably should've moved him further to the right tbh. I just always think of "done" as "visibly tired" and I let that influence his placement. He IS tired, he IS done, it just presents differently. So forgive me and imagine his little Soul Jam there being significantly closer to the end of the right side please and thank you

Realistic VS Idealistic: dude come on lol. The game spells it out for us. Spice is a cruel, bloodthirsty nihilist who goes out of his way to take down things that make people happy. Who virulently denies the value of life and humanity and insists that everything and everyone are only destined to become dust, and any attempt to stop or deny this is futile and pathetic. He's cynical, pessimistic, doesn't do "hope" or ideals anymore. Golden, on the other hand, believes so strongly in her own dreams and ideals that she locked herself away in a false reality just so she could "revive" her kingdom. And when she woke, she continued dedicating herself to finding a way to bring them all back. She is hope and idealism incarnate, to the point of straight up delusion. They're both extremes that mirror each other

Would Die for Attention VS Independent: Look at all the crazy shit Spice has done so Golden would pay attention to him lol. He needs the pretty cheese lady to notice him and talk to him and touch him and beat him up. Please. Pretty please (not as pretty as her though, nothing is). Please they're soulmates she has to. He won't immediately burst into flames if she's not next to him 24/7, but he's happier with her than without. He starts itching when they're apart for too long (and it doesn't take all THAT long tbh). As said before, Golden likes and wants his company but she's always been a fiercely independent woman and can handle solitude

Tense VS Easygoing: wasn't super sure what to do for this one. Like idk what "tense" is supposed to mean here. I think Golden is relatively normal about everything, doesn't worry about cheating or anything else really. I attribute that little bit of tenseness in Spice to his jealousy and clinginess. But otherwise he's probably fine

Head VS Heart: neither of them are stupid, far from it, but it's clear that they both allow emotion to govern their actions more than logic lol. No matter how he may claim to have destroyed his own emotions to rid himself of attachment, it's clear that Burning Spice still feels things, in general but ESPECIALLY for/about her. It's all heart when it comes to her. No logic, no laws, no rules, just him and her and THEM. Just their connection, just their relationship. Golden Cheese may still abide by a somewhat stronger logical anchor, but even so, she's a "heart" girl. It's her heart that pushed her to make her fantasy world. It's her heart that makes her cling so hard to her treasures, despite logically knowing they're gone. It was her heart that saved her in episode 6, her thoughts and memories and love for her friends that made and still make her strong. And though logic fights a good fight with regards to her relationship with Spice, it's her heart that wins again in the end

[helpwhatsthis]

Keeping Your Heart Safe?

Part One of Lost In The Fire- J.S. X Reader

Looking for another chapter? Check out the series navigation!

Chapter Summary: Johnny doesn't like crowds, which can be difficult at parties. His anxiety at his birthday party is only worsened by what his life may become after the space launch project.

Warnings: lowkey it’s kind of a Johnny Storm character study (that will eventually lead to smut), reader has regenerative healing, angst, mentions of Johnny and Sue's parents death, these little shits are angsty asf dude idk

It's safe to say that most people probably would have given up under your circumstances already. You'd spent your entire life into your twenties looking for another person like you. Day and night, hours upon hours, leaving people behind and putting yourself (and sometimes others) in harms way for the slim chance that you might find another one. A mutant. Maybe that's just your luck? Some cruel joke played on you by the universe that you would be the only person among billions with... well, with what? Superpowers? Inhumane abilities? Yeah, that figures.

That's how Reed found you though, and you were thankful for that at least. Of course the always intuitive Reed Richards would notice the one person that just seemed a little too interested in the exhibit on genetic mutations at the science expo; and for every bit of intuition Reed has, his kindness and determination always seem to match it. Did he really need to pull you out of the crowd and confirm what exactly was different about you? No. Did he need to hire you on as his assistant just so that he could keep and eye on you? Again, no. Most of all, Reed definitely didn't need to move you off of the streets and into the Baxter building or try to start integrating you into his little family; but he did because that's just the kind of person he is.

Did you really need to grit your teeth and act annoyed the whole way through it even though you were fully aware that Reed may have saved your life in the process? No, but that's just the kind of person you are. Mostly because you've never really felt stable since the incident, you might just need to leave one day and it would be a whole lot easier if you didn't let yourself pretend like you were one of them. Like you were normal.

You'd like to think you were doing a pretty good job too, if it weren't for Johnny of course. Sickeningly Sweet and enragingly gentle Johnny. Not one little bit scared pf what you can do and definitely not eager to point out your differences or mistakes. It's amazing really, how he can be so indifferent about all of it. When Ben had told him that you were something akin to superhuman, he acted as if he'd been told something as mundane as your eye color.

"Correct me of I'm wrong, but isn't the birthday boy supposed to actually attend his own party?" You him, leaning against the door frame of the terrace. Johnny's head snaps around in surprise that he's been caught. He's been expecting his sister to come and find him for that past forty-five minutes and try to convince him to come back to the party; but he grins when he sees your own soft smile and eyebrows raised in question.

"Well shouldn’t the assistant be making sure that nothing goes horribly wrong at said party?” He laughs as you make your way to the edge of the balcony, sitting down carefully beside him. His hand immediately finds your shoulder when he sees you shiver at the sight below you, he doesn’t know the exact reason but he does know that you’re not a huge fan of heights. He supposes it’s got something to do with bad memories like most things you don’t like; which is, well… most things.

“I’d say the guest of honor disappearing is pretty wrong.” He smiles at your attempt to keep up the banter, but your eyes haven’t left the lights of the city beneath your feet. You look nervous and Johnny hates that. Finally, you gulp and pull your eyes up to him. “So why exactly are you out here?”

“You know how I feel about crowds…” He shrugs, trying to play it off like this is any normal event; but it’s different tonight. He’s different tonight.

“We start prepping for the space launch tomorrow.” He sighs, shoulders sinking in more. His words cause more confusion than clarity. Sure, Johnny was always shy and nervous. He’s better alone than in a crowd and he’s defiantly better with silence than small talk, but this wasn’t like him at all. He loved things like this. Johnny Storm is the epitome of an adrenaline junkie disguised as a puppy.

“Yeah… and that’s cool right? You get to go to space!” You force a smile, trying to lean forward into his line of view. “I mean even though your brother-in-law is a genius this still seems like a once in a lifetime opput-”

“I think Reed and Sue are going to try to have a baby when the project is over.” 

Oh?

“I know it’s unfair and I know I should be happy; I mean I’m going to be an uncle and that’s amazing…” He trails off, trying to blink the welling tears out of his eyes. “-but everything is going to be different after that. No more messing around in the lab in the middle of the night. No more dangerous experiments. Even Ben is starting to spend more time with that girl Alicia-” His voice cracks, head dropping as the dame breaks. “Life has always been the same since mom and dad died, it’s always been me and my sister and her husband and his best friend. I wanna be happy for them but I’m just scared because my family is changing again. ”

“Jesus, Johnny.” You sigh, pulling his body into a hug. It’s strange, you can’t remember the last time you were this careless in your closeness with someone but it just feels so good when he curls his body into you. It feels so good that Johnny feel safe with you. “It’s gonna be okay, J.” You promise, rubbing his back softly. “You’ve got the best big sister in the whole world. Things are going to be different but it’s not like you’re lives are just going to stop if they have a baby. You’ll still be just as important to your family even if there are a few new members.” You smile when he laughs a little.

He peaks his head out of its hiding place in your chest. “You know their your family too, right?” He asks softly. A sudden abundance of heat fills your chest.  You both sit in silence, just taking one another in with sad smiles on your faces. His hands start to inch up, slowly moving towards your jaw. It would be so easy to just lean into him-

“There you guys are!” Your head snaps to the doorway. “Come on, guys. Sue is gonna rip me a new one if you aren’t there for cake, man.” Ben laughs, eyeing you both with a stupid smirk on his face. 

Reluctantly, you follow him back into the penthouse. It’s a good thing too, you think. You can’t stop cursing yourself the rest of the night for how utterly stupid you almost were, even when Johnny’s eyes don’t leave you as he blows out the flames of his candles.

What to be added to my taglist? Send me a message!

[sdr2lovemail]

Saw your request open for reverse 1999! I not sure what characters you do but could you do smt like troop??idk what it call but basically 'someone ask them if you two are together despite havent establish relationships yet' for medicine pocket, dikke, and tooth fairy? What their reaction and response? If it too much you can cut it down sorry

Oblivious Encounters (GN Reader)

Synopsis: These lovely arcanists are in love and it's obvious to everyone but them.

Notes: I love oblivious pining, a wonderful trope. I'm still trying to get my footing with characters, but I will write for anyone, including NPCs! She/They pronouns are used for Medicine Pocket

Requests are open!

Medicine Pocket:

Parallel play. The act of being alone together. Some people find the best way to spend time with others is to do their own thing. 

Next to you, Medicine Pocket scribbles away in their notebook. Ever since the two of you had entered Vertin’s suitcase, her documenting has gotten way more intense. There wasn’t anyone here to dampen the experiments, so Medi was thriving.

You both sit at a table near the window, the setting sun providing just enough light. It had been a few hours since either of you had spoken, finding peace in the silence. Periodically, Med would slide their notebook over for you to read. They didn’t even want any comments on their work. She just wanted to ensure you were ready for the incoming info dump they would give you. What fun is telling someone about your experiments if they’re just going to be lost the whole time?

Amid the comfortable silence, breaking the serene atmosphere, was a shrill voice.

“No! The great Matilda is never wrong, and I will prove I am correct!” The bright-eyed girl was quick with her pace, making it over to the table in just a few strides. With one hand on the table, she leans in close. “How long has this courtship gone on?”

There’s an almost comedic pause.

“What?” Medicine Pocket cocked their head.

Matilda rests her hands on her hips, tilting her head with a sly smirk. “I know a relationship when I see one. But the question is how long it’s been going on.” 

It’s Medi’s turn to smirk as they respond before you can answer. “What amazing observational skills. Now tell me, just how did you figure us out?”

“Hmhmhm! Matilda always knows! And it was so obvious.” She laughed.

“Ohhh, was it now?” Medi smiled wide, those sharp teeth on display in a wolfish grin. As you are about to correct Matilda on your relationship, the scientist kicks you under the table, itching to see how this plays out.

“The note sharing, for one. You are so stingy when it comes to sharing. Those longing silences the two of you enjoy. The way you’re always together. There is no hiding it from me!” 

You can feel your face grow warmer. Was this romantic? Did people really think that you and Medicine Pocket are together? And was that actually a problem for you?

With a laugh, Medicine Pocket shrugged her shoulders. “Huh, I didn’t think we were that obvious. You figured us out, Matilda. We’ve been courting for a few months now. Obviously, I was the one to start it. They were too flustered even to look my way.” 

“Medicine Pocket!” You chastised, face flushing further.

“See, that’s my beloved, always so embarrassed.” Medi reached over the table to take your hand in her gloved ones.

“I knew it! Vertin owes me money!” The energetic girl ran off to find the others and her new source of cash.

Pulling your hand away from the smirking doctor, you let out a groan. “Why would you tell her that? She’s going to tell everyone.”

“I wanted to see what would happen. We are practically dating anyway.” They shrugged, acting way too nonchalant.

Dikke:

Dikke enjoyed gossip. Well, not just gossiping. She enjoyed listening to others talk about anything. Hearing people engage in idle chatter was an oddly calming pastime for her. However, she couldn’t say it was truthful when the talk of the suitcase was about her. 

“Wouldn’t you like to buy your love some diamonds? I have quite the assortment. Necklaces, rings, anything that is sure to charm your lady.” 

Oh, how that scammer’s voice irked Dikke. She was about to move, wanting to read somewhere quiet, but she heard another voice. One she held dearly.

“Oh, I’m sure the selection of diamonds is… lovely. But I don’t have anyone to give jewelry to.” You answered curiously, unsure of what she was talking about.

Tennant let out a chuckle, brushing her hand against your cheek. “There’s no need to be so coy. I know the judge has stolen your heart.” She knew Dikke was watching. She wanted to rile her up and get a reaction. It would be fun to watch someone so proper get a bit angry.

Dikke rises from her seat, walking over to you and Tennant with quick steps. Her face looks more than displeased. 

“Why hello there, judge. To what do we owe the pleasure?” Tennant smirked, knowing she got what she wanted.

Her gaze practically bore through the blond woman’s body. The grip on her sword unconsciously grows tighter. “Thou should watch what drivel leaves thine mouth.” 

“My, what harsh words. Calling your own relationship drivel.” Tennant runs a single finger down your arm with a borderline mocking frown. “I would never treat you that way, dear.”

It was quick. You barely saw when it happened. Dikke swiped the hand off you in an almost uncharacteristic act of jealousy. “Perhaps thou should mind thy own affairs.” Before there could even be a response, Dikke speaks once more. “Enough of this. Leave us.” 

Figuring there was no point in taunting her further, Tennant leaves. Not without dragging her hand along your back, wanting to give Dikke one last teasing parting gift.

“I’m so sorry about that, Dikke. You know how Tennant can be sometimes.” You apologized with a sheepish smile. While you felt like you were just seeing things, her cheeks seemed slightly pink.

With the pest out of her hair, Dikke’s eyes soften slightly. “Thou shouldn’t let rumors fester. Lest they form into something more sinister.” She bows her head towards you and departs, not to finish her book but to find you a present better than diamonds.

Tooth Fairy:

“There has been an incline of cavities at the Foundation. Perhaps I’ve been handing out too many toffees.” Tooth Fairy sighed as she shuffled through her examination papers. The corners of her lips tugged down in a near-invisible frown.

Walking over to her side of the medical wing, you lean over her shoulder, taking a peek. “I doubt it’s your toffees. The kids probably aren’t brushing as often as they say. I know they lie to me about where they get their scrapes and bruises.” 

“Was that a poor attempt at making me feel better?” If it were anyone else, they probably would’ve been hurt by that comment. However, as the Foundation’s current nurse, you spend a lot of your days with the dentist. You’ve learned to discern when she’s playing around from her usual tone.

You let out a puff of a laugh, lightly shoving her shoulder. “Speaking of toffee, you wouldn’t happen to have any on you, would you?” There’s a soft smile on your face as you hold out your hand.

There was a faint sound of squeaking leather as Tooth Fairy reached into her pocket. “You’ll be the one with cavities if I continue to spoil you with candies.” She hands you a sweet despite her words. Her gloved hand lingers on yours for a second too long, dainty fingers caressing your wrist as she presses the toffee into your palm.

“But you never say no.” You smiled while unwrapping the candy. After popping it into your mouth, you start to walk out of the office. “I have to go meet with Madam Z about some paperwork. I’ll see you at lunch.”

The way Tooth Fairy watched you leave was downright pining. Her gaze locked on the doorframe. Her eyes soon lower, seeing a certain silver-haired young lady.

“Excuse me, is the nurse here?”

“Hello, Ms. Vertin. I’m sorry, they just stepped out. Is there anything I can help you with?” Tooth Fairy asked as the small child sat on one of the medical beds.

Young Vertin casts her eyes to the floor, bringing a hand up to her head. “I’ve got a terrible headache. I wanted to ask for one of their remedies.”

Tooth Fairy smiled. It was the third time Vertin came complaining about a headache this week. She knew she just wanted sweets, but she couldn’t help but humor her once again. “Well, I happen to know where they keep their medicine.”

The dentist kneeled at your desk, opening the drawer to grab from your stash of lollipops.

“Are the two of you married?” Vertin asked, her head titling curiously.

Nearly dropping the lollipop, Tooth Fairy’s eyes widen a bit. It was an innocent question, but it still made her falter. “What makes you ask that?” Quickly regaining her composure, she hands Vertin the candy.

“When I read stories, the parents in the books act the way you do. They always spend time together and give each other gifts.” Vertin explained.

Tooth Fairy sits at her desk, watching the girl unwrap her sweet. “I see. No, we are not married. We are simply work acquaintances, nothing more.” 

Vertin nods before speaking again. “You two should get married. I could be the flower girl.”

“I… will have to discuss that with them. For now, you should be getting to class.” Tooth Fairy turned back towards her papers, hoping to hide her slightly flushed cheeks.

[lame-cameoliob]

The Narritive Potential of lower level! Kallus

Alright literally nobody asked and this is totally just me thinking way too much, but I NEEEEEEDDD to talk about the Kallus from the lower levels headcanon and just how much narrative potential it has

(also If you see anything spelled wrong or phrased weirdly NO YOU DIDN’T)

To be completely frank I think that Kallus’ character is almost out of place in a children's TV show– DO NOT GET ME WRONG, he is a fantastic character that is integral to the Rebels plot, but many implications made by his character are much more fitting in shows with higher ratings– that’s why he comes of so fucking ridiculous half of the time, he is a character with massive implications, but he has to be readable to a younger audience. PLUSSS Rebels was made on a tiny budget compared to other Star Wars animated projects, so the producers could not put time or money into further delving into his arc because they needed to focus on the main cast. They couldn’t afford to go into smaller character-centric arcs like in the clone wars. Now, taking that into account, it is no doubt that Kallus has an incredible character arc (tbh I’d say the best in Star Wars, but i might be glazing idk) but there are aspects of that arc that could not be explored more due to the aforementioned restrictions on the production side.

Thing is, Star Wars is all about making connections to the real world (ex. Return of the Jedi was an allegory for the vietnam war– or also THE ENTIRETY OF ANDOR) And although Kallus’ arc already does that on a baseline level, its potential for drawing these connections was for sure not explored to its fullest. 

Now, I know you didn’t sign up for a lesson in world history and politics when you started reading this but you’re gonna have to stick with me to see where I’m coming from; 

It is no secret that the greatest defense against propaganda is education. That’s why maps that show which states have less extensive education and maps that show which states are conservative look nearly identical. That’s why conservative states are far more likely to pass legislation that bans books with political content; they need people to continue to be uneducated in order to keep the state conservative. Even if we omit nefarious political intent, in order for educational institutions to truly thrive they need funding (which tends to be severely lacking in conservative communities) State legislation aside, some school systems literally cannot afford to give their students an all encompassing education. And next to that, in many impoverished rural communities, you end up having kids that need to start working early on in order to make money to support themselves and their families OR they start working early just cause they want to (bootstraps mentally and all that); these kids do not have a reason to set aside their time to sit down and think about the politics of the world around them, which is why a lot of people end up just falling in line with the conservative mindset that surrounds them. 

“What about the people who aren’t conservative / patriotic? How do they play into this?” You may ask– AND LET ME TELL YOU– it’s not really a huge secret that the United States Military does this quirky little thing where they pay for your college and give you financial benefits while you’re an active service member. That’s actually a MASSIVE recruitment tactic that they use in schools! IN FACT, (as someone who grew up in a blue state) wherever military recruiters would come to my school to yk…recruit people, they would almost ALWAYS stress the financial benefits more than promoting the whole “SERVE YOUR COUNTRY RAHHH AMERICA” thing . 

So basically it’s a system that sets children up for failure by leaving them broke and struggling, and some of those children grow up in areas where they are funneled into having certain political beliefs without the resources needed to form their own opinion, OR you have kids that just want to reap financial benefits because living is too damn expensive. (And of course there are people who fit into BOTH or neither of the categories; I’m generalizing a little bit for the sake of keeping this post shorter than it could be) (This is a very nuanced subject and I know that, I just don't want to make you all read an entire essay)

The issue comes when these misinformed children grow into adults, and those adults become dangerous. 

BACK TO STAR WARS

So there’s not really a whole lot of extensive canon lore (at least that I’ve seen) about how the Coruscant economic system works, but I think it's fairly obvious that it is operating on a capitalistic system not unlike the united states, where the richest of the rich own most of the wealth, and the rest of the population are left living paycheck to paycheck; it’s just that some paychecks are bigger than others. 

It is this system that allows for the lower levels to fall into complete poverty. None of the wealth from the top is trickling down (literally) and the people in the lower levels are left fighting for scraps. 

Most areas in the lower levels are controlled by money hungry gangs, and corrupt law enforcement does what these gangs want just because they’re paid to. The further down you go the less control The Republic has; at some point you reach a depth where the Republic has zero influence. And even if they did, at this point in history, most of the senate no longer represents the people.

THIS IS WHERE KALLUS COMES IN 

I want you to imagine being a kid in the lower levels. You’re fighting for your next paycheck so that you can help pay rent, you’re shoplifting and picking pockets just so that you can eat. You cannot afford to live. And not only that; you’re suffering from intense vitamin deficiencies, the air is undoubtedly toxic, the water probably isn’t good to drink. You are exhausted. Physically, mentally, even subconsciously, you are a kind of bone-deep tired that nobody– ESPECIALLY A KID– should ever have to feel. If you can even afford to go to school you’re not leaving with a better understanding of the galaxy, because all you’re worried about is finding something to eat and going the fuck to sleep. But that's your normal, you’ve never known anything different. 

You’re not thinking of ways to question the system, you’re too tired to. 

And you don’t care about The Republic because The Republic doesn’t care about you. 

But then The Empire rolls around. And the Republic didn’t give a fuck about you, but maybe the Empire will– besides you don’t really care about the politics of it all, because you see that they offer free room and board to those who enlist, and that is your one way ticket out of the fucking hell hole that you’ve had to endure for your entire life. 

And so you enlist. And even if you didn’t care about politics before, the people around you do, and they are telling you exactly what to think without giving you the resources to form an opinion of your own. 

If Kallus grew up in the lower levels, that would have been his reality. He would have been the perfect person to indoctrinate because he came from a system that wouldn’t have allowed him to know any better.

This is especially palpable when we think about why he became Fulcrum in the first place;

He educated himself in ways that the empire did not allow him to be educated before. He asked questions and he did not like the answers that he got. 

He realizes that he’s been fed lies and propaganda that have made him complacent in a system that had done immeasurable evil, and he HATES that. He realizes that he does NOT believe what the empire believes and that he has to align his actions with HIS opinions, not the empires.

He realizes that harm that his ignorance has done and he takes it upon himself to lock THE FUCK IN in an attempt to help and rebalance the scales. 

(And this bit is kind of a side note, but idk where else to put this:if Kallus comes from a background like the one listed above where he is constantly fighting for survival, he becomes a narrative foil of EZRA!!! They become two sides of the same coin; a kid whos impoverished because of the Empires cruelty, only looking out for himself until his worldview is changed for the better by the kindness of the people around him VERSUS a kid whos impoverished because of the Republics failures, only looking out for himself and CONTINUing TO DO SO as his worldview is changed for the worse by the greed of the people around him.) (DO YALL GET WHAT IM SAYING??? I FEEL LIKE IM ONTO SOMETHING THERE??)(I MIGHT BE CRAZY BUT LIKE I FEEL LIKE THATS ⁉️⁉️)

All of this is really just to say that Kallus is the perfect example of the dangers of complacency. He is the bystander effect at its worst. He admits that he “never asked questions,” simply because the empire told him not to, and he becomes dangerous because of it. He does evil shit just ‘cause he’s told to. The empire says that a certain number of civilian deaths fall within an “acceptable margin” and he just shrugs his shoulders and goes “yeah, okay, if you say so.” 

Already in canon, he is an example of what people can become if they refuse to question the systems in power, but when you take into account the possibility that he’s from the lower levels, he also becomes an example of how people end up in a system where they are set up for failure so that they don’t end up questioning those systems in the first place. He’s an example of how the Empire benefits from systematic suffering because the people who suffer without even realizing it are the people most easily shaped into pawns. 

End of rant

[halohalona]

Letting Go

Old memories resurface so Logan reminds you who is truly there for you.

Logan Howlett x Reader

a/n: the fics I'm starting to write are getting more and more self indulgent and the situations are getting hyper-specific. Not only do I want to be with Logan, on so many different levels, he's also become such a comfort character to me (or maybe it's just hugh jackman idk). ANYWAY, this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now so enjoy the short fic

masterlist

warnings/tags: more emotional hurt/comfort, Logan is probably a little or a lot ooc here, I wanna specify this is the movie logan and not the comics, betrayal? idk, I probably forgot a few details about Wolverine here

Logan noticed you've been quiet recently. Not only that but you've been avoiding him. One time when you rounded a corner of the mansion's many hallways you immediately turned back the way you came when you saw him. Did he do something wrong? Every time he tried to talk to you, you would run away.

He asked Ororo if she knew what was going on but she didn't know either. He asked Jean but she didn't know anything either, but he did find out that you've been avoiding everyone. Scott, Ororo, Jean, Hank— not just him. It even came to the point where he asked the professor himself and all he said was, “She needs her space.”

He was at the library looking for a specific textbook he needed for his next class when he heard sniffling from a secluded corner of the library— your corner. You told him once that you've pretty much claimed that part of the library for yourself since it was secluded and quiet enough that no one would bother you as you worked.

He slowly and quietly walked over. Sure enough you were there. Your laptop was in front of you, folders neatly stacked around you on the table, and your bag placed on the side facing the main library, likely to hide your face.

He sat in front of you, gently moving the folders to the side before speaking.

“Hey.” he said softly.

You jumped and quickly wiped your face but your head was still down. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard you crying, of course I'm gonna go check on you. You've been avoiding me all week. Something's going on, and as your boyfriend I want to know.”

You don't say anything.

“Is this about Eve?”

Silence.

He leans back on the chair crossing his arms. “You know that was years ago right?”

Eve was a close friend of yours. You both have been friends for almost two years back in high school. She was someone who stood by you through your toughest times, and at the time there was a lot, specially since that was same point in your life your mutation decided manifest. But then you guess they got sick and tired of having to deal with what you were going through with you because one day you learned from your best friend, who was a mutual friend of yours, that she planned on cutting you off. You don't remember exactly what she said but one thing was clear to you, she no longer wanted any relationship with you, not even an acquaintance. What stuck with you was the promise she made a year prior: “If you think I'm gonna leave you, I won't,” which ended up being a lie.

It's been years, you know that it's time to move on, but every now and then it haunts you. You've been keeping people at arms length since then, not sharing much about yourself aside from the basics: name, age, and what you like to do in your free time. Although you've opened up a bit when you started dating Logan, you've share a few things about Eve, but you still hold back in fear of the whole thing to happen again.

“You have to let it go. I'm not saying this to be dismissive, I'm saying it because holding on to it will prevent you from finding people who actually care for you.” he unfolds his arms and leans on the table closer to you. “Like I've said before, if she was able to let you go so easily, then maybe she wasn't a good friend to begin with.”

He walks over to your side of the table and kneels beside you. Gently, he places his hand on the side of your face lifting it up to make you look at him.

“I know it hurts to be abandoned by someone you cared for deeply, but dwelling on what happened won't bring them back. It's time for you to focus on the people who genuinely care about you. Ororo, Jean, Hank, Scott, pretty much everyone in the mansion, and of course me.”

Your eyes start to well up again, a couple tears escape, sliding down your cheek. Logan gently brushes them away.

“I know she's told you this but when I say I won't leave you, no matter how hard things get, I mean it. I love you and I care for you, remember that.”

You look into his eyes for any sign of deceit and seeing none, he genuinely means it. So for the first time in years, you trust those words. You lean your forehead on his “I believe you. And thank you.” you whisper.

[wigglesdtuff]

do you have any favorite one piece panels? or robin panels? from the manga :)

Sorry I took so long, I just have SO much I want to talk about. Since I have another ask about Robin panels, this one will focus on my favorite panels in general and I'll focus on Robin ones on that ask! These also aren't all just panels, some of them are pages/spreads. Some are emotional, some are aesthetic, and some are just funny. These are ones that impacted me specifically, and not all of them are like. Super iconic moments or ones I see a lot maybe? Some of them are. I'm rambling, this is a really long post. Sorry. I just love One Piece...

This is one of the first panels that hooked me in when I saw spoilers for Gear 5. It stuck with me SO much when I finally started the journey. There's so much joy and light in it, and intrigue with why Robin is sitting to the side. This panel will live in my heart forever.

I don't need to explain the emotional impact of the Summit War Saga, but I cannot applaud Oda enough for having the end of it being our hero weeping that he has his crew that he loves and that they're a light to the darkness he just went through.

I have a lot of attachment to characters who are young and have to grow up early, and Momo is like an insanely good example of this. But ALSO the way Luffy encourages his autonomy and his choice and hypes him up to fight for his own freedom alongside him. I just love these brothers.

It's a similar story with Bonney for me. The way he encourages her to fight for herself and what she's lost for her freedom - something SO important for her and Kuma - makes me cry. The faith she has in the future because of Luffy is just. So. Good. The things this manga has to say about joy in laughter, freedom, and creativity means SO MUCH TO ME. There's also something so special about the way she says she's been looking for him, and he responds that he's been with her the whole time. It's so.

I just think this is one of the best pages in the manga. Genuinely.

More Kuma, but I find this panel from the chapter that's technically "unfinished" to be so fucking gutwrenching. I know a lot of it was due to time constraints and Oda's a busy guy, but the way he couldn't finish THIS particular chapter honestly? Added to the emotional impact for me? I could totally be wrong, but to me it felt like he got too emotional working on it and combining that with the time constraints he had to turn it in as it was, and I personally love seeing an artist's hand in their work.

The whole Roger flashback shook me to my fucking core. This part and when he finds the poneglyph on Skypiea specifically.... Ugh. Ough. I can't wait to see this story come to an end, but I don't want it to end.

I can't not talk about Brook, but his encounter with Big Mom is so incredible for him as a character. We once again see how unshakable his loyalty is, and calling an emperor "young lady?" Oh my God the balls on this skeleton. Also, I adore Big Mom, she's my favorite villain. I'll have to gush about her sometime too.

I have a very special connection with Toko and Hiyori specifically. I also lost my dad (though I have a complicated relationship with him, he ultimately did what he could for me and I will always love and miss him deeply in a way that it's hard to express) a few years ago. The horror of losing a loved one and only being able to laugh is. So powerful, Oda was insane for SMILE. However, there's also something I'm attached to 'cause I remember very distinctly the day he passed, I went to lunch with some friends to have company, and I remember my friend telling me later that she knew I would be okay because I was laughing. It didn't really stick with her the same way it did with me, but for some reason that thought stuck in the back of my mind. IDK I'm rambling, but I find the message of laughter in One Piece being tied to freedom very very important to me.

Speaking of Hiyori, I gotta say, 1044 is what got me into One Piece, but I didn't see ANYONE talking about Hiyori's role in that chapter when I saw the spoilers, so I didn't even think about it until I read it myself. When I tell you her entire scene with Orochi gave me goosebumps I am being so fucking serious. She did not, and I repeat, she did NOT "interrupt" Gear 5. She fucking HERALDED IT.

(Here's two that I just find so incredibly funny with or without context) I feel like I'm missing some and I'll come back and edit them if I think of them, but these are the non Robin centric ones that have really stuck with me. I know there's some in Arlong Park and all that that I'm missing, but yeah. It feels wrong to cut it off here but if you made it this far, thank you for reading!!

There's also the Mural, but that one is like. Fucking crazy and we don't know the FULL significance yet so I'll leave my thoughts on that until later.

[the-crustation-sensation]

Don’t get me wrong, I love jayvik as much as the next autistic girl in this fandom. But I am very annoyed at jayvik OVERTAKING the entire fandom

Rant under the cut

Especially on tumblr if I look at the Single Viktor or Jayce tag, the ENTIRE thing is choked out by jayvik. And I like it, it’s cute, but it’s gotten to the point that I can’t see any content just appreciating their characters alone without the need of a ship. It’s the same for caitvi too

I think there’s something to be said when analyzing season 2, that it’s a perfect example of why writers should not let fans dictate their story’s. Jayvik had phenomenal build up in S1, but the way they were portrayed in S2 felt like fan service- let me explain

So much of the jayvik content I see is incredibly out of character and stereotypical (as many MLM pairings are reduced too) Viktor is either a helpless twink, or an all powerful god that has Jayce on a leash. Why are we making Viktor a shy soft boy? He was the CEO of the sassy man apocalypse?

It’s also very sad to see Jayce’s character get watered down to “pathetic himbo golden retriever twunk with no brain cells” and yeah, the pathetic Jayce memes are funny but it’s annoying when people think that’s ALL his character is. He gets written as a dick-for-brains dumbass with 0 common sense or basic skills… when he was a university educated engineer and eventually POLITICIAN

But back on topic to jayvik in s2 feeling like fanservice, a lot of the time I see fans wanting jayvik to have an almost codependent relationship, and that’s exactly the undertone a lot of jayvik moments in s2 had. The dynamic between Jesus/machine herald vik and Jayce was undoubtedly toxic with a huge power dynamic. I’m just very disappointed because I was excited to see jayvik be developed more in a creative way, and instead they just slapped on the soulmates trope.

And don’t get me wrong- do I love Viktors end monologue? Yes. Do I think they should have kissed with some tongue at the end? Absolutely. But the entire situation of s2 just felt icky, not to mention how Viktor completely lost is autonomy to the arcane TWICE in one season. Idk but Viktor becoming a whole maniacle malevolent god who wants to “perfect” all of humanity… but can only be brought back to his own humanity by his boyfriend just felt… cheap.

It felt like a metaphor for Viktors disability, and how he needed to be “saved” from himself. Which in turn completely nullified all of this character development. And do not get me STARTED on how much Viktors arc was ruined in season 2, that deserves a whole post in itself

Overall these are purely my opinions, and I’m still going to be hypocritically eating up jayvik content with a spoon because it’s still my favorite ship, I just believe it could have been portrayed better. Anyways thanks for sitting through my rant. if you disagree or have any other opinions I’d be delighted to hear. Peace out

[entiqua]

I love your artstyle!! Do you have any tips for drawing?

thank you so much! i'm really happy you like it!!💗 as for tips, what i would say would change drastically depending on what kind you're looking for, but some very general ones:

draw what you love and want to see most, regardless of whether anyone else wants to see it. if you don't enjoy what you're drawing it'll never come out as good or genuine as something your whole heart and soul is in. i mean you'd think this would be a no-brainer but sometimes i've had to sit back and ask myself 'if no one was ever going to see this except me, would i actually spend time drawing this?' and i was surprised by the answer

that said, it is also completely valid if your motivation for drawing is to draw for other people! there have been plenty of times where i was too artblocked to draw my own ideas but was still able to draw commissions or gifts and enjoyed it simply because making other people happy with my art makes me happy.

don't get too caught up in having a consistent art style. in my experience this 1000% hinders you

having your sense of anatomy degrade over time without you noticing because you keep drawing the same types of characters is a very real thing! if this is a concern to you be sure to draw a variety

follow a billion artists that you like the art of and you will have endless inspiration injected directly into your brain every time you open social media

my favourite practical tip for those who draw at a desk: keep a small mirror next to you at all times. absolute game changer for quickly referencing hands

if you're drawing digitally, make the canvas huge! in my experience this lets you draw messier/faster and you can't tell at all when you zoom out. if you tend to get stuck spending unnecessary amounts of time micromanaging pixels (me💀) keep it zoomed out while drawing

related to the above point, messy drawings can have far more expressiveness in them than neat and polished drawings. nowadays i never do lineart and go straight from 'barebones stickman pose' to 'varying-levels-of-coherent sketch' and use that as my lineart. sweet freedom from the sketch-looks-better-than-the-lineart phenomenon

if your goal is to improve, then you really do have to scrutinize your art, figure out what you're not satisfied with, and commit the time to focusing on it. 'practice makes perfect' kinda rubs me the wrong way because of how much i've seen it interpreted as 'just draw everyday and you'll magically improve' but genuinely it won't get you very far if you don't actively think hard about what you're trying to improve and take the steps to do it. is this a hot take idk. also hand in hand with this, not every artist is trying to improve and you shouldn't feel bad for this! maybe you just wanna make a little headshot doodle of your fave blorbo and that's your only drawing goal ever. awesome. maybe you know your art has flaws but it's passable enough to convey what you want and you're perfectly satisfied with that. (this is the stage i'm usually at). also awesome!

don't hesitate to draw something because you think it's out of your skill level. the worst that can happen if you draw it is that it comes out terribly but you learned something and can always redraw it better in the future. the worst that WILL happen if you don't draw it is that you'll never draw it. and then it will sit in the back of your brain haunting you for years. it's not like i'm speaking from experience or anything aha

look up 'hand stretches for artists' and do them if you draw a lot unless you wish to summon the wrath of the carpal tunnel demons

of course, these may not necessarily work for you, and most importantly(!) these are coming from the perspective of someone who is primarily a hobbyist. some of this won't be practical for people who need to build an audience, maintain a consistent style for work, etc. these are just things that have personally helped me over many years of drawing :)

[lovemyromance]

(Not a troll ask please don't shoot :D - genuine question)

But I feel like it's really downplayed how much Gwynriels gaslight the fandom. I joined ACOTAR bc I saw Gwynriel fanart and thought they were cute. I Got all the way to ACOSF still hoping for Gwynriel and got a whole lot of NOTHING. And honestly I think Elain is as interesting as cardboard (sorry), but you'd have to be downright blind to ignore she had something going on with Azriel.

Then I saw on titktok about the bonus chapter, everyone going in saying omg thats where gwyn & az are mates! So I cracked it open, read it - and bruh - HE'S OUT HERE TRYING TO GO DOWN ON ELAIN??

How can you put THAT interaction & the conversation he had with Gwyn side by side and people are walking away from it saying Gwyn & Azriel are mates?

I'm so genuinely confused why someone would start that nonsense. The way I ate up Gwynriel art/fan theories it was like she was a major character there from the start and they'd already had 8 kids and a HEA.

Then I open the books and they barely even have a conversation??

It was honestly really annoying. felt like a scam, like one of those authors peddling their book on social media and then you realize its a wattpadd fic written by a 12 yr old not an actual book

If it helps - we're all confused. Nothing has been proven yet about any remaining couple so idk why the Elucien and Gwynriels are out here straight up inventing fiction and trying to pass it off as fact to anyone willing (and even unwilling) to listen.

This ship war could've just been - "Hey I like Elucien more!" Or "I love elriel!"

But instead of just accepting these are all opinions and not actually what is in the books - people decided to straight up gaslight and claim that Elucien are a couple and Gwynriel are mates.

If you cannot point to it on the page where such a thing it explicitly happened - then it is not canon.

Lucien & Elain? They're mates. That's canon.

What's also canon - is that not all mates are a good pairing and end up happy together.

Whats also canon - is that the cauldron was wrong.

It shouldn't be hard to reach accurate conclusions if people stopped treating their wants and headcanons as fact.

Like for gods sake - let's just look at fanart. I'm not saying that every piece of fanart is canon or even should be canon - but elriel has much more canon fanart. Thats literally a fact. They have multiple major moments together - on the page.

What is canon Elucien fanart? When she falls out the cauldron - naked and humiliated and he gives her his cloak? When they sit together over a tea service acting uncomfortable? When she avoids him every other time she sees him?

What is canon Gwynriel fanart? When he gives her boss a secondhand necklace to give to her or anyone else? When he - and cassian and everyone else - watch her cut a ribbon she sees as an enemy?

I've seen so many people open up these books expecting some grand romance between Elain & Lucien and end up disappointed because... she doesn't even want to be in the same room as him.

So many Gwynriels with similar stories to yours expecting some entertaining Gwynriel love story only to also end up disappointed because Gwyn doesn't even exist till the last book and she and Azriel barely interact.

They chose to believe in a nonexistent ship and are trying to compete with canon Elriel evidence. Like ok - tough shit? But you can't just start making shit up.

Until Elain accepts that bond - or even gives Lucien the time of day - they're not a couple. They are nowhere close to endgame if everything she has done and said has shown us she doesn't want him.

Until Azriel himself declares Gwyn is his mate or vice versa - they're not mates.

And yeah I'm gonna get a lot of backlash from the "foreshadowing and crumbs" crowd.

But let me ask you this:

There are some Elriels who think the mating bond between Lucien & Elain is fake. There is plenty of evidence and similar language used about their bond that resembles the fake Rowan & Lyria bond. Plenty of signs showing their bond isn't quite right.

do you think Elriels can then claim it's canon that the Elucien bond is fake?

"We have crumbs and foreshadowing and similar language used" too. But do you see us going around claiming it's canon?

No.

We are very clear about the distinction between canon and headcanons. About what's in the books, and what is just pure guesswork and theory.

"Sparky spark" and "elucien is endgame" are both theories until proven. They are NOT canon.

Wish they'd just learn the difference. They'd be a lot less unhappy fans.

[durgeapologist]

Saw a post complaining that a companion gave too much feedback about Solas to Rook and I was kind of on board with the criticism thinking it was about being spoonfed info but then the rant ended with a snide "I romanced him you didn't so shut up, you'll never know him like I do" and it honestly rubbed me the wrong way. You're playing ROOK. Rook can't see Solas through a romanced Lavellan's eyes. They don't have the events of inquisition to go off of? Idk they lack of distinction between player and character rubs me the wrong way with a lot of Solavellans who dump on Rook. And I feel like that's a big factor in general I see in DAV criticism. That people don't like that people in game keep telling Rook about Solas but honestly I never thought it was a big deal and in a way those are actually good perspectives to have since only viewing him through the romanced lens gives you a very rose tinted window into the man's mind and you don't get to really see how other people are affected by him. Can it be tedious at times to sit through a breakdown of something you just saw? Sure, I can see that, but when they add "I know him better than you ever will because I played Solavellan" it kind of just comes off as them being mad that people were negatively affected by their pookie-bear. Even then it's just the lack of self-awareness or even narrative awareness. Like, I'm sorry not everyone in the fictional universe is privy to your internal perspective that you got from playing the Solavellan route? That Solas had an impact on the wider scope of people he interacted with and not all of the impressions he made were positive? I kind of hate it because I'm a Solasmancer myself but I feel like I don't have many people in the fandom to talk to because they treat it like a dating sim.

OH GOD ANON I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

“only viewing him through the romanced lens gives you a very rose tinted window into the man's mind and you don't get to really see how other people are affected by him.”

“solas had an impact on the wider scope of people he interacted with and not all of the impressions he made were positive.”

^^^^ these have always been my two biggest critiques/points when i talk about the culture surrounding the solavellan ship but also, by proxy, solasmancer culture as a whole (bc some dreadrookers take this mantle up, as well). seeing him as simply yet another romance option, and only seeing him through the lens of his romance, causes a LOT of missed (and absolutely necessary) context and nuance to his character as a whole.

people who don’t romance him, ie. people who have never/will never romance him, are just as valid in their interpretations of him because 1) his friendship path is just as important, and 2) it’s quite literally how everyone else that isn’t a romanced lavellan across thedas sees him in-world. even rook. he has made now over a decade’s worth of modern impressions on those around him, and building on what you said, it’s so very likely a majority of them were not, in any way, positive. especially in the years following trespasser, when he is actively in survival mode and being hunted down cross-continent.

solas comes across as callous and uncaring, or rather— fronts as callous and uncaring to those he doesn’t view as his equal. it was painfully obvious in dai, and even more so in dav with the expansion we got on his character. he is goal-oriented, has a one track mind, and has made plenty points in proving that he will stop at nothing to achieve said goal, all the way up until the end of act 3 in dav.

refusing to acknowledge those characteristics or those very valid viewpoints from others, and instead dismissing them because “well i romanced him so i know him best and therefore i am superior in my knowledge of the depths of his arc” is so shallow in a way that i can’t even begin to describe. at least, no better than you already did, anon.

if you EVER want someone to talk to about this, please dm me. i am obsessed with takes like these and could talk for hours about unromanced solas and how his redemption arc is so much more meaningful when looked at thru an unclouded lens.

eta bc some weird asks are coming my way: i am a solasmancer??? lmao??? hello??? take one look at my account and you will see that. i am just not of the opinion that his romance is integral to understanding his character, whatsoever, either for solavellan OR for dreadrook, or any other solas ship. he is his own character with his own arc and growth/decline/development that happens WITH or WITHOUT a romance. bro needs a friend sometimes, and he is also a morally flawed, egotistical villain. WHO I LOVE!!! i just refuse to make excuses for him or whiddle down his entire persona to his romantic potential. that is all!! can't believe this is in debate pls my rook and solas are definitely together! he is just more than a love interest. and that is A GOOD THING to admit.

[hwnglx]

I’m honestly waiting for wonyoung’s breaking point. Where she just breaks down and cries cause this girl is way too obsessed with self-image and appearing perfect. Tbh as much I loved her. I prefer her in Iz*one when she rlly didn’t care about superficial things like she is in IVE. This whole image change does annoy me ngl. Idk it just something about her that just Ickes me the wrong way.

i understand where you're coming from, and it's kinda giving tough love lol, but we have to consider that people's behavior doesn't just change out of thin air and for no reason.

wonyoung putting her guard up more and more is due to people on the outside being more and more harsh with her. expectations are growing the bigger she gets, more strict eyes on her, much more pressure on her as the “it girl”. she has to keep up with that title. it's a bit of a toxic cycle she can't escape. she started getting this impression that people pick on her no matter what she does. like doomed if she does, doomed if she doesn't. she wants to satisfy people, but they always find something negative to say about her. (reminds me of jennie, it's like history repeating itself in 4th gen. would love to see the two just sit down and have a conversation. they could relate on my levels) some people keep blaming her for being a certain way, when they themselves have contributed to this change. she's scared to get hurt because the public is damn mean.

she can be superficial in certain ways, but tbh most idols pursuing this career are. it's a superficial industry. her character is genuinely sweet and i'm very serious when i say this, it's not an act. she is a true sweetheart, but in this day and age, especially in the excuse me shitty kpop industry she's in, the most sensitive are the biggest targets. therefore she often hides behind a stronger facade. i will defend wonyoung whenever time calls for it. she's one of the few idols i've read for till now, who seem like they're sincerely good at heart.

[gritandoengay]

This is a response I had written for @justmenoworries, who reblogged my post and then blocked me so that I couldn't respond directly. Cheers.

*Sighs*

Alright, I said I wasn't going to do this, but you came in with your diatribe so here we go. This is for any person that comes across this post and hasn't seen the show (I doubt you have, but I can't force you to sit down and actually watch it you know)

"No, it's not "drama" that Caitlyn hit Vi, her girlfriend"

Out of all the reasons for disliking CaitVi, this one is the most understandable, but you're still taking it out of context. Vi wasn't Caitlyn's "girlfriend" when she hit her, she was the sister of the psychopath that had kidnapped Caitlyn and murdered her mother, and in that moment Caitlyn was furious because Vi stopped her from taking down Jinx.

Was the hit justified? No, but this wasn't domestic abuse in a relationship setting. Either way, we see Caitlyn's visible regret over hitting her during their love scene, and Vi signals that she's accepted the apology by literally pulling Caitlyn in to continue making out. There's even a deleted scene that shows Caitlyn crying right after hitting Vi, but I'm not going to include that here because it's not canon. Also, idk if you ship T*meBomb, but it would be a big hypocrisy to be a fan of that ship but not CaitVi, considering Jinx literally murdered Ekko's friends and has tried to kill him. 

"An Enforcer uniform (that Caitlyn basically emotionally blackmailed her into wearing."

Caitlyn didn't “emotionally blackmail” Vi into joining the strike team, she literally apologizes for asking her to:

“I was wrong to spring the badge on you.” 

Vi decides to join the strike team not because Caitlyn “emotionally blackmailed” her, but because she sees that as the best option to prevent an outright invasion of the Undercity (which the Council had already voted on) and because she still views Jinx as her responsibility. 

"Caitlyn is a fascist dictator for the majority of season 2. Literally gives Ambessa her blessings to enact martial law, violently occupies the Undercity and has people beaten, arrested and thrown into the hellhole prison that is Stillwater by her forces en masse, all in pursuit of one woman."

Caitlyn confronts Ambessa about the martial law, because at that point she's starting to realize that this whole thing might be fucked up. You want examples of Caitlyn calling out Ambessa and showing that she's, if anything, trying to curb the worst of Piltover's/Noxus's forces? Here you go:

“Why is peace always the justification for violence?” 

“There are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up ‘till now, I have forbidden their use."

Was Caitlyn's "dictator" era morally correct? Of course not, it's purposefully an arc about her going down a dark path. But there's this thing called character growth, which we see in Caitlyn when she realizes what she's done and regrets it. She verbalizes this and shows us through her actions:

Vi: “She [Ambessa] oinked poison in your ear and you just ate it.” 

Caitlyn: “I know!”

2. “We can't erase our mistakes.”

3. “No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.”

4. "Hating you, I've hated myself." - To Jinx herself, i.e. she realizes that her obsession with Jinx has warped her into a person she doesn't want to be. Look at that, Caitlyn herself agrees with you!

5. Letting Jinx go. Literally letting the person that murdered her mother go, in part because she decided she loves Vi more than she hates Jinx. 

6. Losing an eye and almost dying confronting Ambessa, precisely because she's the one that enabled Ambessa's reign of terror in Zaun, so she sees it as her responsibility to stop Ambessa. 

I'm not a fan of Caitlyn because she looked hot in a cape. I'm a fan of Caitlyn because she realized she had been manipulated into doing/enabling some fucked up stuff in the midst of her grief and she actively chose to face the consequences, even if it literally almost cost her her life. That makes her compelling to me.

I'll end on this though:

What is truly disgusting is you comparing queer PoC to the KKK (who literally lynched Chinese people like Caitlyn) over a fictional character. You need to grow up and direct that anger at the actual Nazis currently in the government trampling over our human rights. I'm posting this during my lunch break, after which I will go back to fighting against a law that wants to ban gender affirming care for minors in my state.

[pepstarvanmoon]

I really wonder what GAs think about Mike’s overall storyline in S3 and how it extended into S4.

When I first started S3 (I didn’t start shipping Byler until the rain fight and didn’t go deeper into the fandom until after finishing S4), I didn’t really care about what Mike had going on.

He was being a typical teen with their frustrating and dismissive ways, but I wasn’t really bothered by it? I didn’t really care until it started to feel sort of shoved in my face? Like being late to the theater, ditching Dustin on his first day back, everything with Hopper tbh, lying to El, advice from Lucas, not playing DnD to look for gifts at the mall, the break up, not playing DnD (again) to wallow in self-pity and to be gross boys lol (part of that scene is just so El and Will can react to Mike being gross like why).

By the time we got to “they’re conspiring against me!” I started rolling my eyes every time Microbial’s relationship issues became the focus of a scene. It was starting to piss off other characters, too, so I felt kinda justified in how little I cared.

Then the store scene where they’re patching up El’s leg and Mike struggles (badly) not to SAY “I love you” to her face, but to somehow get her to say it for him? (Like some weird school lesson trying to get students to find the answer without outright saying it like it’s a curse or something. This show has never needed I love you’s to convey that a couple is in love, so this whole thing felt unnecessary to me my first watch). I remember sitting there wondering why I should gaf about this plotline at all. It was so drawn out for what felt like no reason, and it didn’t seem to be going anywhere? “I know that I…” Are you sure you know, Mike? Like say it or move on.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it really had no impact until they force you to remember it during the move out scene where El says she loves him too (weird btw seeing as we got the “I love her and I can’t lose her again!” BEFORE the “you’ve never heard that term…?” I guess it was to have a ‘funny’ scene after that first encounter with ther meat flayer? Idk maybe I need to rewatch S3)

I guess they left it open ended after that uncomfortable kiss scene because it’s clearly still an issue in S4, but in my initial watch, more than it not making sense to me, I just sort of found it boring? It might’ve just been my bias because I started to enjoy Will and El’s characters more than Mike’s at the time, and Madraosis’ constant (and minuscule) problems were making them both miserable. To have it pick up again in S4 annoyed me because the S3 finale made it seem like their relationship was okay, but… did they really resolve anything?

Honestly, my biggest gripe was it being included at all. It felt unnecessary and boring at the time, but if they’re gonna keep pushing Mike’s inability to say “I love you” and function normally while in a relationship after all that bs in S3, it better be for a decent reason. It was no longer as cut and dry as I thought when I watched S4, and it’s difficult to grasp that a lot of people watching the show still think this way.

I mean, just imagine Nancy spending a whole chunk of S2 trying to convince/tell Steve she loves him and treating Jonathan like an afterthought before they get together that SAME season (like a romantic and less traumatizing spin on what happened with Barb (RIP), where they clearly demonstrated how bad it was that Nancy was getting swept up in her relationship with Steve).

Nancy getting back with Steve at the end of S1 was annoying for a lot of people, but more of an “eh, whatever” until they started having problems again in S2. Why is it literally the same storyline?? It’s pretty blatant, too. I hardly see any GA really questioning it, and if they do it’s always chalked up to bad writing (which… yeah). If it’s not because Mike and El are having legitimate problems, or about Will’s confirmed feelings, then what do the Duffer’s want me to think?

(first post but I've been lurking here so long it doesn't feel like it.)

[lazyalani]

| Rengoku Kyojuro × [F!]Reader

| angst, you know it, hurt no comfort, ofcourse there isn't a happy ending what are you expecting on a kyokyo fic, mentions of death, character death, this is for my kyokyo obsessed friend i hope this makes you feel worse better @rilzaly , first kny fic, might be ooc cuz i dont know him that well, idk what i just wrote, not proofread

| Won't you come home, dearest?

| Main Masterlist

| KNY Masterlist (not available yet)

i will stand by you,

"This isn't right, not this, not this either. That's ugly. No, that isn't the right shade at all."

This whole wedding planning is stressing you out. Sure, it's exciting and all, but who says it's not harder than the actual wedding? A special day needs special preparation too.

"Calm down, you'll find the right one eventually." Your bestfriend says, sitting on a chair and watching you ransack a pile of kimonos inside the fitting room of a shop.

"I know, but it doesn't make it less stressing. Kyojuro and I have dreamt for this beautiful wedding in the entirity of our relationship, I want it to be perfect." You huff in frustration. It's complicated when your fiance's isn't here too, what if he doesn't like the colors?

"I know, and it makes me happy that you've finally met a man who's willing to act like a proper man."

"Right? He's everything I could ever ask for. The wedding is in 5 days and I'm going to make sure it's never going to be forgotten."

And you so desperately hope that everything will go well. A part of you fears whatever tension your fiance and his colleagues are feeling.

I will stand by you,

"Kyojuro!" You waved at your soon to be husband, holding a rather large box wrapped in an orange cloth.

The sun haired man paused in his tracks along the street and made his way to you with his usual big smile and bright aura. "Dearest! Have you come with our lunch?"

You smiled at his never fading brightness. "Ofcourse, I hope you haven't skipped resting periods, honey. Don't overwork yourself." You replied and handed over the wrapped box.

His face turns into a frown as you settle the box in his hands. Does he not want it?

"Is there something wrong?"

i will stand by you,

The bento is placed on a big rock on the side and his hands are immediately inspecting your face.

"Wha- Eh? Kyojuro? Honey, mind telling me what you're doing?" You said, feeling his hands checking even the sides of your face.

"I have not been skipping rest, but have you, dear?" He crossed his arms and stared at your face. "Has the preparations been stressing you out too much? I knew I should be helping more, dear. I will take the rest of the days off if you wish."

You blinked. "What? Honey, what is this about?"

"Where is you bento?" He asks.

"What?"

"Are you not going to eat with me?"

Oh, so that is what this is about.

Your smile widened at your fiance. He truly is a ray of sunshine. How could you ever ask for more?

"Oh, honey, I can't go eat with you because I'm going to check on the cake design, and you're going on a mission on a train, remember?" You raised your hand on his cheek, brushing away a fallen leaf.

the war in your head will shoot you down dead,

"Oh! Well, that's unfortunate. But it's no big deal, we can eat together when I return tomorrow." He smiles big again as he brushes his hand against yours on his cheek.

The smile on your face never fades as your features turn into worry. "That's right, come eat with me tomorrow."

He presses his forehead to yours. "Tomorrow, and the next day, to the next, always, everyday." His lips press against your forehead as he hugs you, as cherished as ever.

"Be safe, we have our wedding to attend, come home to me, Kyojuro."

"Always, my dearest."

so don't even try to win, is it worth it all in the end?

You sat on your bed, hoping to relax as the day is almost on it's end. The preparations for the day are done, time to wait for the next day.

But you cannot sleep. Not when your fiance is outside doing his duty. Before you knew it, it was already dawn, you were so stuck overthinking, you couldnt get sleep.

i don't think so

You can never sleep nor stop thinking about him whenever he is out there battling demons, quite literally. He's got not only the lives of people on his hands, but also his own.

Your fiance is someone heroic. Someone kind hearted who is never one to leave innocents and those in need behind. He was, is, and will always be the kind of person who sticks to his morals and principles to the very end. His spirit will never let him yield, and that makes him the Flame Hashira, the sun haired man who's flame can never be extinguished, the brightest sun, the smiling softy, your fiance, him.

try to embrace the lines on your face,

It's what has drawn you to him. His never ending spirit and respect. A true knight and guardian of the people. A booming positive sun. A loving brother, a caring person, a kind lover.

the story of who you are, cuz i love what i've read so far

You love that about him. You love everything about him. As he does to you.

You have faith in his abilities, you've always had. But it can never erase the heavy feeling in your chest. The ache whenever he tells you about a new mission. The pounding in your heart when he comes home later than planned. The slight breaking when you see bruises. And the tears when you wash his bloodied clothes.

i mean it, i mean it,

You stand up to get some water and ease the fear.

But a certain picture frame breaks as you accidentally run into the table it is settled.

when you fight for every breath,

Your breath hitches as you struggle to pock up the broken pieces.

You don't know what's gotten into you as you cry from the slight pain when you get hurt by the broken glass. You can feel your own desperation. Of what?

Why is your chest pounding harder than it did before? Why is it that your heart aches again? Kyojuro promised to come home. He will, as always, more now that you have a wedding. So why is it that you can almost hear your ear ringing in pain? The eerie feeling in your heart.

and the waves are overhead,

A knock on the front door brings you back with a big breath. You take a few more breaths, catching yourself before walking to the door.

Kyojuro?

It was Mitsuri, your fiance's former tsuguko. You remember her, a lovely lady who always bounced around you and kyojuro, calling you his older sister and wanting to always help you with food and as kind as her teacher. Always full of energy and smiles.

However, her face was solemn.

And your heart pounded again.

let me lay your mind to rest

"Mitsuri-chan? What are you doing here this early?" You ask the girl. You managed to keep your voice steady, observing her shaking hands and trembling eyes. She couldn't even look at you, staring at the ground.

Maybe deep inside you always knew it. You've seen it coming the moment he mentioned a possible long mission involving a train. Maybe you should've listened to him. You should've listened to your guts. You should've asked him to stay and help you with the preparations instead. You should've listened to the eerie feeling in your head saying make him stay.

"Nee-san, he is..." The love hashira's voice trembled. This time, her swollen green eyes stared right into yours. The obvious message making its way into your throat.

i will stand by you

"Rengoku-san, he... an uppermoon was..." The girl bursted into tears, taking out a bright orange haori, neatly folded, the tinges of red making your vision blur.

"Always, my dearest."

when all of you dreams are shattered,

The sight of blood on your fiance's haori was enough to push out the bile on your throat as you kneeled on the ground.

Ah, you'd refuse to believe it, but the fresh smell of the blood, and the beautiful haori that represented your fiance's never extinguished flame—

Ah, the flame is out.

Mitsuri rub your back as you let out the rest of the bile on your throat out. She cried with you, mourned with you, grieved with you, suffered with you, cared for you.

"I'm sorry... We're so sorry..." The hashira beside you repeated the same again and again.

and your world is left in tatters,

And at the day of your wedding, was your fiance's corpse lying on a casket.

Your stare at his casket was empty. Your mind was blank, your eyes were clouded. You could not even cry anymore, not after those sleepless nights spent crying, being haunted by his smiles even in your dreams and then waking up to nothing.

He was still so beautiful even when you couldn't see him inside the closed casket. Your fiance's smiling face on the picture frame presented kept you awake.

Your parents comforted you beside, his brother was crying beside you, his father was silent, but you could tell he was finally awake too. Too see his son's hardwork. But it was all too late. He too, was awake, to see his son's corpse.

The whole Demon Slayer Corps were present. From the hashira's silently kneeling behind you, to the Master and his family on the other side, to the kakushi's and some mizunotos Rengoku had helped. You were all mourning beside each other, present as a sign of respect to the most loved hashira.

when you're lost, we're lost together

i'll stand by— i will stand by you

You kneeled infront of your fiance, wearing the wearing dress you cut off, turning it into a simple white dress. His tailored coat was put on top of the casket, the ring on your hand and the other with him.

It is clear that when dreams are turned to reality, they warp into a nightmare when you least expect it.

if black is your brightest color,

if hurt is your only lover,