#idk im just not relating to it in the way that I've found myself able to do w her other albums
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I wish I had some original thoughts about ttpd right now but I fear I will have to sit with this one for a while
#its growing on me but it's far from my favorite album of hers#i can appreciate and acknowledge the artistic value of it but i just don't know if this one's for me???#in a lot of ways i feel like im on the other side of it#in the sense that the things i went through in the last few years are... in some ways like Taylor but mostly like the ppl shes writing about#mostly in relation to the drug references tbh#i was also the one who hurt people even though i was also hurt#idk im just not relating to it in the way that I've found myself able to do w her other albums#which is fine like genuinely im not saying that her art needs to be hashtag relatable to be enjoyed and delved into#it's just. idk. maybe it'll come with time#personal
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hi!!! Pls rant about Arthur having magic, I love stuff like that!! I’m invested, what’s your favorite fic idea for it?
Hi!!!!! :D
Definitely for sure Arthur having magic (in at least some form) is one of my favourite things to write and read, I just wish there was more of it!!!!
Okay okay, so to answer your question, my favourite fic idea for it, man that's so hardddd! There's so many interesting concepts likeee:
--Arthur finding out about his magic at a young age and keeping it a secret.
--Arthur finding out about his magic at a young age, in front of Uther (I've written a fic like this, but I want more)
--A baby Arthur magics some items around him, and either - his nursemaid freaks out and calls the guards in, and they agree that there's no way Uther would believe them so they keep it a secret, hoping that one day the king will see (as they're afraid of magic).
--Or baby Arthur magics some items around him and Uther sees and in his rage, and with the Great Purge still raging on (it lasted a year so Arthur would be a baby baby), he orders the guards to put Arthur in the cells.
--Or baby Arthur magics some items and Gaius sees, and in his panic smuggles Arthur out of Camelot with Nimueh's help (I wrote something like this once but I never finished it)
--On the other hand, child Arthur suddenly finds out about his magic in front of Uther and Gaius, and Uther, in a fit of rage, orders a stand to be built for his execution at dawn.
Gaius smuggles child Arthur out with the help of some guards who renounced their magic during the Purge. During his escape, the Druids step out from the shadows of the forest and offer to take Arthur in. The guards agree and return to Camelot, while the Druids take Arthur over the border to Ealdor :)
Therefore, Merlin and Arthur grow up together, eventually heading to Camelot when Hunith grows concerned for Merlin (like in canon), and Merlin magically dyes Arthur's hair black - as well as the beard Arthur grows to disguise himself. Uther, of course, does not recognise his son. (Im planning to write this one day, but idk if I ever will) There's of course other ideas where Arthur discovers he has magic as an adult like:
--Maybe an AU where Arthur is a seer like Morgana but gets specific Merlin related dreams. He only works out his dreams are real when Merlin has an injury that lines up with his dreams (say like Arthur seeing a scar from Nimueh's fireball, which he had a dream about)
--Arthur and Merlin are cornered in a fight, and Merlin gets shot with a crossbow bolt - and falls. In a blind panic, Arthur shouts, and everyone gets pushed back. In the moment, he knows what has happened, but he ignores it in favour of getting Merlin home - to Gaius. (The dynamic of this AU would change depending on if Arthur is a prince or king here)
--Oh, another idea is like Aredian deciding to go after Arthur, which makes Arthur very confused - this AU would also include like Aredian being able to sense magic, because as much as he was a faker out there, he was right about who had magic sdjhfghjsd
And these are just some of my ideas, Im trying to not get too away from myself here for you! sdhjfgjhsdhg This is already getting to be a long post. But I love these ideas, some of them I've just made up now, that's how much I love this concept. I don't think I could pick a favourite, but if I had to right now, it would probably be a baby Arthur/child Arthur idea. Just getting to play around with a younger Arthur is so interesting. And baby Arthur requires an Outside POV which is fun to play with too!
But to rant about Arthur having magic, nowww, tumblr user gabalicious-g, aaaah. Okay.
Our mans is born of magic okay. The exact same phrasing is used for Merlin. Let the golden boy have magic, it would really fuck him up :P That's why I love playing around with it in fic! Like how would it affect him?
I don't see him going the way of Morgana. I could see him, if he had found out as child, repressing that part of him wholly in fear, and maybe even disgust. If he found out as an adult, I could see him freaking the fuck out - especially if he was still a prince.
It's just okay, right, right. Arthur is made up of magic, that's how I interpret it anyway. I think lately I like imagining Nimueh summoning water into the Cup of Life, in a similar manner as to when Merlin got the water to save Arthur. So, she gives the water to Gaius (who was the one sent to ask), and Ygraine drinks it, and boom, she's pregnant. So I like to think Arthur is basically like all of what Ygraine is (in looks at least :P) and then magic, magic makes up the rest.
Like it's very easy for me to go, well surely there's something he could do. I mean the whole dying to rise again one day is pretty magical enough :P So, I'm like all brrrr for this concept, so much I cannot resist it.
There's so much you can do even if you don't go full Arthur's a sorcerer AU. There's stuff that can more easily fit into canon, there's stuff you could do post revival to mess around with it. It's just there's so much thereeeee.
And of course, there's how this would all impact Merlin. Like what would he think if he found out/suspected Arthur had magic? Just aaaah so much potential to play withhh.
I love it, I love it. Thank you so much for sending this ask in and giving me an opportunity to talk about it ^.^ :D
Feel free to send another ask if you'd like! 👉👈 :)
#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#i just loveeee magic Arthur so much#I could talk about it allll day#thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about it :D#ask
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What are your top 5 (or top 7) favorite moments from JJK (so far)? Just want to say, you're the first person im tumblr (that I know of), that not include Gojo as their top 5 fav JJK characters, so refresing.
I can't say the same for myself, my top 5 are : Yuji, Gojo, Geto, Nobara, Megumi (sorry I'm kinda basic)....
Do you agree if said that Megumi and Tsumiki are "toxic doom siblings" (like wei wuxian, jiang yanli and jiang cheng from MDZS)?
Thanks if you want to answer....
Can I just say I love how specific this is? Five or Seven... 🩵.
Ok, lets see how many I can come up with under the cut'o...
So.... about Gojo--he is alright. I just don't find him or his character archetype relatable (except for when he died). I've found that for me to care for a character I have to be able to self-insert to a certain extent. I need to vibe with them.
Love your "basic" top 5 lol. idk what I'd call my top jjk characters... psycho? I mean...
Ok before the top jjk moments... I haven't read/seen MDZS so I have no clue about these siblings. I googled it but all I got out of it is that one of them is adopted or something like that? What I'll say is that Megumi and Tsumiki straight up have bad luck.
Kinda interesting to think that maybe Megumi's bad luck is the "payment" he has to make for having a technique like 10s... (think FMA law of equivalent exchange in alchemy).
Top jjk moments
In no particular order but ofc anything Megumi is amongst my top moments.
Yuji faces his mortality
When I saw this scene in the anime I was very impressed that Gege would go there because I've seen enough shonen anime to know that Yuji's reaction, as a shonen mc, was real af. I knew jjk was special because of this moment.
Chimera Shadow Garden
This moment knocked the air out of me. Everything from Gojo's words to Megumi and how they were exactly what he needed to hear, to Megumi showing us the beast he keeps tucked away in his shadow.
This moment is why I read jjk.
Gospel of Sukuna
This is a more general one. Thing is, the aura is cool and all, but I love seeing the source of the aura, Sukuna's mindset and sense of self, just as much. His conversation with Yuji from ch. 214 is one of my favorites because it revealed A LOT about him, same for 238. The way he absolves others in death is *chef's kiss*.
Shirtless 2D Buddhist Monks Flex their Egos
Listen. I don't read jjk for the battles. Even though Gege tends to reveal a lot of important details during battles, I get bored with the battles actually. That said, I can still appreciate that, at its core, jjk really is about 2d shirtless Buddhist monks flexing their egos. Hakari vs. Kashimo is my favorite example of Gege's testosterone-driven brand of existentialism.
I'm You
I kinda speed-read through Shibuya when I picked up the manga because I just couldn't put it down, so this moment wasn't particularly impactful at the time. In retrospect, and partly thanks to MAPPA's fantastic handling of it, I LOVE Yuji coming to terms with all of him, even the parts he wanted to reject within himself (what Mahito represented to him). This is so depth psych.
Ego death
I literally had a tear rolling down my cheek when I saw this panel. On top of that, this moment is very depth psych too.
Thanks for stopping by anon!!!
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heyyy
just read the breakup song and MAN😩😩. i'm in AWE with ur writing plsss it is illegal to be this good at it. writing smth svt related on tumblr was always on the back of mind but after reading ur fic, i sat down and started writing for god knows how long. i think i've found my element and its all thanks to u. the way u progressed through the story and the little bits that we saw about all characters gave the story so much dimension.. i finished it yesterday and still find myself going to reread it.. especially the intro meeting scene *mwah* i said the same thing under the post but im gonna say it again, THIS NEEDS TO BE A SHOW! i can see all of it playing out
also i wanted to ask u if u have any tips for very very newbie writers on here, especially svt content. like i said u inspired to start writing but find myself very confused at times, on making it look good and being able to reach many people
idk if ur still here but i wanted to say that i love u and ur writing and i'm in desperate need of more svt fics from u (wouldn't mind a reader or jeonghan pov of the closet scene iykwim) 💟💟💟💌
much love, love
HDHSHSJS THANK U FOR READING!!!!!
i don’t think i’m the best person to ask for advice from when it comes to writing on tumblr because i’m not on here frequently anymore 😭😭😭 and most of the time i just post whatever insanity my brain has conjured, which more often than not does fit within the standards of the kind of content that blows up on here (ahem, plotless smut, ahem). HOWEVER!!! if there’s anything specific you’d like to know/learn about fanfic writing and posting, i will try my best to help!!!
in terms of making fics look good n pretty, it’s always advisable to create a header that matches the vibe of the overall fic HAHAHHA the standard header formula on tumblr dot com is idol image + text (but as u can see.....i like to break that formula HAHAHAHAH) and make sure to use the appropriately spacings for ur text!!!
again, if there are any specifics that you'd like to get advice abt, feel free to ask more!! (with regards to reaching many people, i cannot impart any wisdom on that 😭😭 my fics generally do well because the following i've accumulated over the years even though most of the things i write don't pander to the general tumblr audience HAHAHAHAH i don't want to ruin ur creativity either by advising to write something that panders to that audience 😔😔).
anyway!!! thank u sm for the compliments!!! lovelots!!!!
#THE CLOSET SCENE HAUSHAH i was actually debating whether or not to write that in the fic....but i decided against it bcs it would ruin the#the entire fic structure 😭😭😭#feedback#the breakup soup
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Hopefully they will get a bit of rest before the show! They definitely need it after the tour though, the schedule seemed brutal. I don't think I'd be able to cope if it was me lol. You'll have to let me know what they are like to watch live, I'm sure they'll be amazing!!
Play is such a comfort song! I have definitely cried listening to it as well haha, also haze. I really do love how they have a song for every mood lol.
I'm honestly so glad that I started to listen to them when I did. I found them at a time when I'm finally starting to think more positively about myself and seeing my own potential, like seeing that I can improve myself but also being kind to myself when I inevitably mess up. I think the messages in their songs are really comforting and make me feel seen. (Although I still remember the night when hug by seventeen absolutely broke me ahaha) Finding a talented violinist who plays music that I like has helped me want to become better in that sense too, although admittedly I have wanted to improve for a while, but Yechan has actually given me a goal which is nice. (I've started to try and learn boogie man and my respect for Yechan has went WAY up).
I have wanted to watch super and for ages!! I never knew where to find it though. I found out about it because I'd started to listen to Hoppipolla and then would watch compilation videos of clips from superband. It seems so fun! And the amount of talent would make me cry ahaha. I'll and Ha Hyunsang's voices in 1000x almost made me cry the first time I listened to it because they blended so beautifully. After getting into Lucy, I was kinda like, the bassist in the awesome cover of the Coldplay song (I can't remember what it's called lol) was Wonsang?! Yechan played viva la Vida?? With Ha Hyunsang?? That made me want to watch it more ahaha (although I don't know if I'll be emotionally prepared to see Sangyeop cry)
I'll let you know if I have any ideas haha, but definitely keep writing for Lucy! I really liked your style of writing and thought you wrote Sangyeop really well!
Enjoy the show!!!!
okay now that I’m back from the show lemme answer this 🥹🥹 I think they did get some rest beforehand they were rly energetic and excited :( moreso than me cause I was so sore it hurt to stand and I was struggling when sangyeop wanted us to jump sigh
You could rly just tell they went all out for their last show of the tour and it was just so special :( I was right by wonsang bcuz he’s my bias and I wanted to watch him up close so most of the videos I took are of him. Whenever I could see sangyeop or get noticed by sangyeop I would die internally idk smth abt him live is just way too attractive and charismatic and he needs to stop being so fucking fine istg??? But wonsang was so cute I was chilling standing by him <33
I swear I can cry to any lucy song cause even the happy ones have sad or relatable lyrics… the sad ones hit so fucking hard absolutely when I need to cry colourless is my go to…. Sangyeop ugh 👹👹👹👹 and when it’s a song like boogie man I just cry cause of how beautifully crafted it is cause I think abt how hard wonsang works on every song LMAO IM SO EMO KILL ME
I also feel like I found them at just the right time but like for the opposite reason. I was going through intense burnout and listening to stove while I worked on schoolwork was the only thing keeping me going :( (along w bambam ty husband <3)
I NEED TO REWATCH SUPERBAND IN FULL TBH CAUSE 😭😭 I went back to watch the lucy stages but I just need to experience the WHOLE thing again… anyway here’s the link to the google doc with the google drive eps for you <3333 AND YES ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME COVER!!!! Absolutely adored it sm I remember how everyone thought wonsang was selfish and trying to make himself stand out by only picking guitarists while he was the only bassist but then he got all 5 votes cause his arrangement was so beautiful and chilling and ethereal and I love him sm I always call him my lil genius :(
Dropping some photos from the concert hehe
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if you have resources on splitting myself (im not sure how it would work? the impetus is a trauma of sorts but it would be a created plurality so idk) then that would be great. For what its worth I do already practice a distinction between the thoughts and 'me' and have used 'you/us/we' to refer to myself for forever?
and yeah, this seems like a bad way to cope but I have few options yk? ill try real therapy for me and esp the thoughtform when im able.
yeah it's difficult to be sure of origin labels when it's complicated like this, but we settled on the origin label of parotraumagenic because, similarly, our first split was due to the trauma of intrusive thoughts but simultaneously 'on purpose', even if we didn't know any names for what we were doing at the time.
as far as the actual creation goes, i don't really know how i did it, i just sorta 'did it' and experienced very subtle switching for about 5 years until i stumbled across the tulpa community. it was there that i created our tulpa, though my intent at the time was to hijack the consciousness that was already there and turn that into a tulpa. it didn't work so well though, but caim in turn used the process of me making our tulpa to give itself a more defined personality so idk, i guess it kind of worked?
also, it's my belief that a lot more people experience at least a form of psuedo plurality than we're aware of as a society. actors and writers have talked about their characters having minds of their own for centuries, and the concept of a muse is also vaguely pluralish. so yes, that distinction you already have is at least a small step towards it. i think it's incredibly common for people with intrusive thoughts to at least do a small version of what we're doing here as a means of coping.
anyway, enough rambling;
this Tulpa Creation Guide (1) appears to be the main guide in use by the tulpa community right now. there is also this giant list of guides (2) to look through
keep in mind that everything here is pretty separated from the rest of the plural community, so there are going to be a lot of different terms and a lot of different ideas as well. i'm a firm believer in picking and choosing what works for you, so don't feel beholden to any ideas presented in those guides that don't vibe with you.
especially don't be too concerned with the idea of making a fully separate consciousness to your own, or their ideas of full possessive switches (hell, you don't even have to have switches at all if you both vibe with that) - i've found their ideas don't fully gel with median systems (3) and that kinda seems to be what you're going for, they also don't always account for differences between polyconscious (4) and monoconscious (5) systems
i also wouldn't really bother with anything related to imposition. it's a cool thing to be able to do in theory, and if you want to get into it that's fine but it's pretty much just intentionally hallucinating your headmate into the real world and it's not necessary nor does it seem very useful for your case specifically
lastly, though there isn't much in the way of intentional creation of headmates, healthy multiplicity (6) has a lot of resources for how to manage being plural in ways that benefit the whole system, and i'd recommend having a look through all of that as well
i have also found a guide for self-directed exposure response prevention (7), which might be a good thing to do along with your new headmate once you're a little more established. i'll also direct you to the tiktok account (8) - along with their first video on the topic - that i discovered this therapy from
i wish you the best of luck and i do genuinely hope that things get better for you soon. thank you for your patience in the delay of getting this to you
plain text links under the cut in case any of them get weird
https://pluralpedia.org/w/Parotraumagenic - parotraumagenic definition
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1feviU9YQ4o773XEDeZHyjKugNoM1hTgA/view - tulpa creation guide
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/wiki/guides/ - r/tulpa guides list
https://pluralpedia.org/w/Median - median systems definition
https://pluralpedia.org/w/Polyconscious - polyconscious definition
https://pluralpedia.org/w/Monoconscious - monoconscious definition
http://healthymultiplicity.com/ - healthy multiplicity
https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/ - self-directed exposure response prevention
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8xg9u8G/ - ERP tiktok
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Ayooo it's 4:20 (lmao) am here, I just found u back smh. You probably don't remember me and that's okay ! I was a.. pre-cracked transmasc egg ? During 2018 ? Who asked random trans-related questions out of the blue. Bc fr, from my lil french countryside, you were the first person I found on the internet back then to be so LOUD about being trans.
And thank you for that. Idk how you've been since I don't follow you anymore, but I hope life feels is worth it for you.
Now I'm a queer transmasc 20 y/o mess dating the person I was mentionning as my best friend in a convo, and that is going to start going to therapy and probably starts the processus for my transition this year/next year !
idk how to finish that, im sleepy af, but again, thank u so much for being you, i think you smh helped me feel alright with who i am
YES this sounded familiar but my memory is not great so the details were lost. just dug thru my archive and found the asks you sent originally. I'm so happy for you! Congrats!
I started my medical transition almost exactly a year after you sent those messages believe it or not. I'm now a little over 3 years on T and couldn't be happier with myself on that front.
Life is hell, money is tight, and I'm getting tired of school. But! I'm married, on my last semester, and I've had lots of great people in my life along the way.
I wish you well, I hope things go as well as possible for you! It makes me happy to know that I was able to have been important for a stranger on the other side of the world :)
now go to sleep!!!!!
Edit (Hopefully made b4 u see this): while I'm sure you have found plenty of good sources of information in the past 4 years, if you ever have other trans questions that you haven't found the answers to, im always open to answering them :)
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hey, ryen!! how are you, love?
i was catching up with the blog just now and read the 📖 anon ask, and oh my god. i wanted to say a few things and you know i talk a lot, but bear with me, i promise this ask is gonna be a mess
i find it absolutely incredible and heartwarming how much 3tan is expanding. just the fact that you felt the necessity to create a separate blog to filter our craziness, or how each day we get to know more anons and how we recently learned that your writing speaks to and reaches men too. i feel so glad that you're receiving so much love and more recognition in each step of the way!
also, i love to hear how 3tan moved other readers. i love to hear about your inclusivity having an impact, about your caution whenever writing a character makes you write something that's relatable even if from a different background than yours.
urgh. you truly are such a great author, and i want so damn much to have a physical copy of 3tan once is over (if it'll ever be aksjak).
anyways, all this bc i wanted to share a bit of how your writing touched me too
when i had my 3tan journey, i was in a very bad place (that i wont detail bc i dont wanna trigger anyone or expose myself lol) and that's why i read all of it in one weekend.
i found shelter in your words in a way that i can't possibility explain. your story helped me to elaborate my feelings, and shed light on a lot of stuff i felt, but didn't understand. del sagno was a slap on the face for me, it was a wake up call in so many ways and i actually started therapy not long after it and i finally just worte my first fic and so much of it was fueled by you. like, whenever i listen to bts' songs i feel like you're promoting the same messages and you help me to go through my own healing process.
what 3tan means to me is... well. more than you know, and that's why i wanted to write you that forfeit analysis, i wanted to try and give back in some way.
anyway, it's three in the morning here, and im kinda emotional (as i always seem to be), so i just wanna say one last thing.
in flutter, reader talks about finding a home in a person, and i think it speaks to most of us who found home in bts and army. but i feel like you've proven to me that one can also find home in books, bc although i've always heard ppl talking about it, i've never felt it. 3tan tho? 3tan is easy to love bc it's real, 3tan is the easiest thing to love bc it feels like home.
hi, lua! i'm doing well<3 and idk if you meant to message this blog or kithtaehyung but omg 📖 is incredible, right??
i'm really excited that 3tan is expanding, as well (and i'm happy this blog now exists so that we can have our own little nook!) the recognition is cool but i'm truly just glad that people are finding themselves in this series and learning from it, just as i have.
there are so many people that love bangtan, and by extension, read bangtan fics. this is why i wanna be sure anyone can be comfortable reading mine and know that they are understood and seen<33 we shall see if there are physical copies! you are way too kind and i am so happy to have you here.
oh, love... i will say this: therapy is huge. proud of you for seeking that out and following through because talking out what's been on your mind and getting it sorted is crucial to feeling better, thinking better. to be able to lead you into something helpful like that? i feel so much in my chest idek what else to say..
self-love and forgiveness is what i want us to all have. if my stuff resonates with you as much as the boys' songs do, then i can retire peacefully and with no regrets. i've never received a compliment or comment like that.. kinda just sitting here and staring at your message. :')) wow.
your forfeit/3tanalysis (whoa, another word we can use!) is mind-blowing and i wanna print it and keep it forever i'm so serious. i felt like an actual author in that moment and it was surreal getting to read it. i love you.
3tan will always be there for you when you need it. it's home for me, too, and i'm super glad you've found comfort in it, as well. this was all wonderful to hear. thank you for saying these things but i wanna fight you bc i'm just one big pile of mush now T^T
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2-6-24
ive denied system rumors for so long, maybe since like 6th grade when i like found what it was, and then refound it sometime in 10th grade, and im always like
hmm, interesting
we'll come back to this eventually,
and then i dont!
and its been fine but wvery time it does come back i go into a mild crisis about it, it always sends me into questioning my memory and trauma.
maybe trauma related? or like major stressor something like that, cause i only came back up when something else came back up after arizona.
----
but either im schizophrenic and just having delusions and paranoid thoughts, or i truly am experiencing symptoms of a dissociative disorder.
I have parts of my day that are just gone. I did them, i know i did them but I for damn sure didnt do it.
I "talk" to myself but like not to myself not just mental checks, full thoughts that are not my own.
I right now am thinking about it a little bit more bc of **** but its something thats been mildly haunting me for so long.
I think im faking this, but also the extent that I believe its happening and is like and active part of my life that im actively pushing down. Because like, these thoughts are my own but also theyre not, someone else is saying these thoughts and I have a completely separate brain to what this other person is saying to me.
i hear 3 possibly 4 in my head that are regulars.
Mara
Mars
Gaby
but details are a little blurry, i can tell you about me now;
im 19, bout to turn 20
love RKS, struggle with an ED. Mars. Hi this is mars. im trans??? He/him i guess. either way, im very gay.
---
I've been writing this post since yesterday around 10 am so at least i can fit in the other one,
-- lol no
Mara - 22 - corporate girly by day, raver by night. I like Hyper-pop EDM and stuff like that, i use she/they. im bi, mildly on the straighter side of things. Im the one thats been mostly hosting for at least the past year pre-december.
Mars is the more disordered part of my brain i guess, comes back and gets us through the trauma. well actually i dont know. as i was writing this i think no one is perfect. Mars is the one currently dealing with the ED but is not the one with the ED trauma, theres no recolection of what happened last time.
Gaby - Gibby, idk, its hard to talk about other people when theyre not here. I believe gaby is 16, bi, NB. introverted, on the shyer side. Not as socially set as others, i believe they have not changed since 3 amigos in 2020. scene indie 2020 emo kid.
Its weird. I cant tell you more about them as i am not there rn. Currently Mara is here, were listening to hyper-pop. I was able to eat lunch with my friend fairly guilt free until about the end but im okay now.
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yeah the play REALLY did something to me, and all of his friends looked so proud of him, it was so sweet and sad all at once, i can't explain it. and i relate to neil bc i went through the same thing with my parents, my mom wanted me to be a journalist and my dad wanted me to be lawyer, so when i had to tell them that i wanted to go to fashion school it was really scary, and i knew that they were going to be very disappointed, like, i remember when i called my dad just to tell him that, and i was literally shaking and holding back my tears, so i know exactly how it felt like for neil. and yeah omg, it took me a long time to realize that it was the same actor, he looked like a baby in dead poets society, his power fr. so at first i didn't notice anything romantic between niel and todd, i just thought they had a cute friendship, but then by the end when he found out that neil was dead, his reaction was very different from the others, but im not sure if i think it was because he liked neil or bc they were just very close friends, but also i saw a few edits of them on tiktok and they looked like they might like each other sometimes. so yeah, very sus those two. but what do you think?
oh the wedding was great!! i had a lot of fun, was very weird watching my friend get married tho 😭 but it was fine, thanks for asking!! and the shopping went great too, i bought these AMAZING boots, idk if you've watched gilmore girls so idk if this is going to make any sense to you, but whenever i wear them i feel like lorelai (she wears a lot of boots) which is great so yeah. and the book was very good, the ending made me want to scream but still very good lmao. im so sorry this is huge :( but anyways how have you been?
-🫀
dead poets society spoilers, tw for death mention
right, omg, just the pure friendship all the boys shared was so touching to me. it reminded me so much of my friends. and it was so sweet to see the sheer support and admiration they had for one another. oh, wow, yeah, that is definitely such an intense move to make when you desire to go a particular route in your life that you're worried your parents may not approve of. I am so proud of you for telling your dad about it, though, and being truthful + standing up for your passion. like, that is such a strong and amazing move, it's so great of you. I hope you've been able to pursue your passions since. for sure, his reaction to Neil's death was very intense (and also, just so well-acted omg). so, when I saw the clip where Todd is like, "I can take care of myself," and then Neil just smiles so gently at him and says, "No." at that point I was like, hmmm. I even asked my mom about it LMAO bc she had seen the film. I feel like there may be something romantic, and I definitely ship it. I also read that there is that scene where Nail, in reference to Todd, says, "I'm being chased by Walt Whitman." and I read on that post that Walt Whitman was apparently suspected to have been queer? so, maybe it was something the film tried to subtly portray? either way, thank goodness for fanfiction LMAO
oooh, whoa, it was your friend getting married! that must've been very surreal to watch, I could only imagine how that feels like. and omg I do watch Gilmore Girls! was just rewatching it today. and yesss, omg, I love that you have Lorelei-style boots, her fashion sense is *chef's kiss.* and it's all good, I enjoy talking to you! I've been good, thank you for asking <3 I've mostly been doing schoolwork for my spring class, and am working on some writing rn
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So I'm sorry in advance if this seems a little Ranty, but I just gotta get this off my chest... How does Loki view people on the fence when it comes to believing? At the moment I'd say I'm probs Agnostic but thanks to the stuff I've seen you and a few others posting I've kinda been leaning towards being a Lokean. However; I'm terrified that if I were to dive in headfirst I'd only be met with rejection thanks to my prior agnostic/atheist beliefs, or that I'd find nothing, hence my hesitance.
Omg Nonny, I’m so glad you asked. Loki DOES NOT JUDGE. I was an atheist for ten years before my spiritual awakening. I have never experienced any sort of rejection or judgement from him–about literally anything. We humans like to project our behaviors onto the gods a lot, including our tendency to judge and find fault, be jealous and vengeful, etc, but the truth is, they are 100% unconditionally loving and accepting. Sometimes it might not seem that way–like when they give us tough love–but they literally do not care what we have done, believed, or not done/believed–at least in terms of whether or not they are willing to connect with us. I make mistakes constantly. Sometimes Loki gets genuinely upset with me–usually for mistreating myself. But he never rejects me, on any level. His response is always from a place of unconditional love. Deities understand us on a level we can’t even imagine. They understand why we make the choices we make, why we choose to believe certain things, etc. They hold none of it against us–they just want to help guide us towards healthier, happier mentalities, and Loki is no exception. He can be tricky, and occasionally quite blunt, but ime he is an extremely gentle and accepting being.
more below the cut
He is also a deity who enjoys providing little confirmations of his existence. If you open yourself to the possibility that he is real, he will happily confirm through intuitive feelings, psychic whispers, and strange physical coincidences. However, if you go in demanding proof before opening your heart to him, he might give you nothing. Or he might fill your bed with spiders, idk! He is not always predictable haha
All that being said, there is a thing that happens in this type of human/deity relationship which I think is important to mention here, although it isn’t directly related to your question. It’s a challenging concept, so I will try to explain it carefully.
As I mentioned, we project a lot onto our deities. Sometimes, that manifests as a feeling or experience of the deity being angry, jealous, punishing, or even downright mean. We expect these things from other humans, so it’s quite natural for us to expect them from our deities, especially since our mythologies are full of stories of vengeful, cheating, murdering, raping gods.
For example, I know many Lokeans who have felt, during times when they were especially depressed or low, that Loki had abandoned them, was angry/disappointed with them, or suddenly found them unworthy of his time. After experiencing similar things with another deity (Apollon, specifically) and talking to my spiritual family about it at length, I came to understand that during those times, they are reflecting back to us our feelings about ourselves in order to teach us greater self-awareness. In my experience, once I saw and accepted that those negative feelings were MINE, I was able to connect with my deities again and understand that they feel nothing but love and compassion for me, ESPECIALLY when I have fucked up and/or am struggling emotionally. But before I could accept their unconditional love again, I had to face the part of myself that felt unworthy and deserving of punishment.
So, Nonny, I hope that after reading this, you will feel more confident about connecting with Loki. I don’t think you should decide to be Lokean until you’re sure he’s the right God for you–and please enjoy allowing him to demonstrate to you, personally, what kind of deity he is before you make that decision! Getting to know Loki is a really fun process ;)
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Hi! Just out of curiosity, which of those writing tips did you like, and which ones did you not agree with? I've seen a lot of them before and thought they were pretty common tips
i'm sure this is more than you were asking for but i'm just gonna go through em one by one and add a bit of commentary bc i have nothing better to do
1. every character’s first line should be an introduction to who they are as a person
generally a good rule to follow - personally, i try to make every element of my writing work on more than one level. dialogue for the most part should be used to reveal character (as opposed to exposition). like, obviously sometimes characters will reveal information aloud to each other which advances the plot, but well-written dialogue for a well-rounded character should reveal some combination of information that character intends to communicate as well as some information they don't (eg someone saying one thing and their body language or expression saying something else, which not only provides the information the reader needs, but also provides information about how that character wants to appear to others vs how they actually are/how they actually appear, etc)
2. even if you only wrote one sentence on a really bad day, that’s still one sentence more than you had yesterday
yes 100000%
3. exercise restraint when using swear words and extra punctuation in order for them to pack a punch when you do use them
i'm ehh about the swear words part bc they can be used to demonstrate character info, but definitely re: exclamation points and the like. idk if by "extra punctuation" they mean like "!!" which is something i personally never do - exclamation points should be used sparingly as is, but if what you're writing requires more than one right next to each other, your dialogue isn't strong enough.
4. if your characters have to kiss to show they’re in love, then they’re not in love
absolutely
5. make every scene interesting (or make every scene your favorite scene), otherwise your readers will be just as bored as you
easier said than done, but a good goal
6. if you’re stuck on a scene, delete the last line you wrote and go in a different direction, or leave in brackets as placeholders
this one is a good piece of advice, but ive seen people say (and have found out for myself) that usually the problem is further back than the most recent line you've written. rarely do you detect the problem so soon after you write it, so it helps to go even further back in the scene to find where things got muddled
7. don’t compare your first draft to published books that could be anywhere from 3rd to 103rd drafts
this is one of the most difficult items on the list and also one of the most important lol
8. i promise you the story you want to tell can fit into 100k words or less
sure, but Can doesn't necessarily mean Should. concision is the best practice, especially for less experienced writers (and i include myself in that), but i would caution that some stories work better with a little bloat or with a tasteful amount of subplot or scene that doesn't necessarily move the plot forward; however, you still need to be able to justify a scene's inclusion in the story. if it's not advancing the primary plot, it should be advancing a subplot and/or revealing more about character or even some slight worldbuilding.
i hate to mention jk rowling here because she's not that great of a writer, but think of all the people who talk about how much they love the scenes that don't show much more than the hogwarts daily grind. studying in the common room, meals, classes, just adding to the worldbuilding of hogwarts and student life and showing us what the main characters do when they're not saving the world or trying to solve a mystery. the hp books would be significantly shorter without those scenes and maybe readers wouldn't have even noticed if they'd never been added to begin with, but so many people (again, including me) love and appreciate those scenes. they make the world and the characters feel more real, more relatable, etc.
this one got long (lol irony) but basically, shooting for an arbitrary number of words should really only be a rough estimate (also unfortunately if you're trying to get picked up by a publisher then you're probably better off sticking to the status quo of your particular genre in terms of average word count). take out what isn't necessary, but maybe open up your definition of "necessary" - just a little (seriously, just a little)
9. sometimes the book isn’t working because it’s not ready to be written or you’re not ready to write it yet; let it marinate for a bit so the idea can develop as you become a better writer
idk how i feel about this. im good with writing a draft and then taking a break for a while before going back to it, but this just seems like a really effective excuse for not writing something.
maybe it's just how this tip is phrased idk i just feel like the idea of you or the story "not being ready yet" is kinda silly. if you've been hacking away for a while and getting nothing out of it but frustration, then yeah take a week or two off. but this makes it sound like "oh you haven't matured enough to tell this story yet. try again in a few years." imo it's always better to write a steaming pile of shit and make it better through editing than to put it off until you feel "ready" - bc, at least in my own experience, it's very easy to convince yourself that you're not ready yet instead of taking the plunge and just getting started
10. a story written in chronological order takes a lot more discipline and is usually easier to understand than a story written with flashbacks
this one is confusing to me bc i'm not sure if they're referring to the writing process or the story itself. i agree that writing it in chronological order takes more discipline than writing whatever scene tickles your fancy at a given moment, but just because you WRITE it in chronological order doesn't mean the final product has to be structured that way. likewise, chronological order is usually easier for a reader to follow, but you don't necessarily need to WRITE the story in order. do what works best for you.
personally ive found over time that i prefer to go in order unless i get stuck somewhere, in which case ill move on and go back to it later. so there are a lot of holes in my drafts, but i do try to write in order so the timeline of the story stays clear in my mind, and also so i can get up close and personal with the mechanics of the story, like how different events and scenes lead to what happens next, etc. and like the tip mentions, it's a fantastic disciplinary practice - otherwise you could write all the fun/easy scenes and be left with very little motivation to write the more complex or less favored scenes (which, contrary to that tip up there, are sometimes necessary even if they're not AS exciting as others)
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as usual sorry my answer was so long djsksksksk
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this is pretty random and you dont even have to read it or anything, its fine.
but reading that last chapter of paper hearts rlly made me feel... a lot. i've kinda been questioning whether im aromantic for a while now, and honestly the way you described their love and adoration for each other made me feel very happy (obvi bc its just beautiful) but also jealous bc i feel like i will never be able to experience that. i mean its possible i simply havent met the right person yet and just never let anyone truly see me and that i should give it time since im still pretty young. but i also dont want to keep getting my hopes up with this. and ik everyone is like 'romantic love isn't everything' 'you can have a platonic soulmate' 'friendship is as loving' (and while i do agree with this) i dont rlly see myself being fully happy without falling in love, like whats the point of my life??
anyways I just needed to get this off my chest and didn't know where else I could type this out. but again your story is written so beautifully and the fact that it gets me feeling and thinking like that proves that imo. also typing this all out made me realize I should probably go see a therapist lol
oh my gosh?? thank you for sharing this with me, anon! i’m so glad you loved part nine and found something hopeful in it. i can 100% relate to how you’re feeling! personally, i’ve never been in a relationship before but i want that so bad (basically i want what stephen and our widow have 🙃 clearly my expectations are pretty high lol) and idk if i’ll ever find it, you know? i just feel like real life truly is nothing compared to what we read about or see on tv, and i just have to hope that i’ll find “the one” someday! (actually maybe we should both go see a therapist omg 🥲)
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(food ment) Hello you!! Yeah there's too much abt will graham that makes mentally ills go crazy, I can relate to the empath thing so much, i think you should be able to talk abt it on here I really think the hate on here was from white cishets who will go 'im such an empath 🤪' and then be massively racist and homophobic/transphobic, just a generally bad person and ofc not all of them would be white cishets . It is genuinely a problem for me also! I feed off of everyone's emotions which helps me be a better person I think but also I live in a very dysfunctional household/ have a very dysfunctional family lol which makes it .... very hard to deal with. Ok! Um I've went to the beach, it was so lovely, I love going when falls beginning but its still warm enough to swim😌 its gotten cold very fast tho this fall, im already in a hoodie. I've been waking up b4 12 pm which im really proud of myself for but ofc once or twice I gave myself a lil break but! it didn't really set me back much😁 I've found my perfect coffee recipe 😋 we are going back to homemade meals since its starting to cool down 😌(we don't have ac and the oven will heat up the entire house if its on) my therapy has been going well and I've been trying not to self sabotage. I really haven't been deadnamed either which is surprising but whats even more surprising, I haven't really cared when I did get d-named 🤟 you are one of the people I check on when I come on here just to see how your doing 😊 one of my favorite online ppl . And... one more thing um I also got two vape pens as a gift, very exciting and it'll help me alot, its more cost efficient and honestly alot easier in most ways. I hope you've been doing well!!!❤❤❤ and if you haven't been, I hope it gets better for you. Im sending good vibes out to the world to you 😗
hi!!! missed u!!! ive been doing ok!! better mentally but the physical 😳😐😑😐.... but no literally tho like my empathy is either super high or super low and a lot of its bc my family is emotionally insane like i cannot empathize w them w/o losing my marbles LOL. i had another appt w my psychiatrist! new adhd meds wahoo! tell me ur username comeonn pls i'll feel bad if i'm not checking ur blog too😭💔. im jealous its still hot as fuck for me. in the 80s. im having these awful cramps not even period ones its.... so much worse. idk what's happening 🤣 itis a little frightening. i worry my kidney exploded or something. planning a trip to baltimore!!! its not my idea at all btw but im excited bc its where hannibal lives in the tv show HELP... and we're goin to these fancy restaurant w three course meals and guess what im getting..... the chesapeake chicken.... hahahaha.... like the ripper..? get it? get it? :) and lastly umm... i forced my friend to use her tumblr and follow me on here muahaha. wishing i culd force everyone in my life to watch hannibal🙄🖕
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Hi , I have a quick question. I've been feeling depressed ( idk if its true was never diagnosed bc im too scared ) and i can't tell anybody my parents are not very friendly nor supportive so they would beat me if they knew. I have been selfharming since 2013-2014... I really don't know how to get better or tried helping myself but , I've just become worse , i always have these panick attacks during the day like everything is going to fast. I need help and don't know how to get help.
Hi lovely,
Thank you so much for getting in touch with us here at MHA. I am awfully sorry that you are feeling so low right now and are struggling with self harm. I hope I’ll be able to give you a little advice and reassurance.
We are not professionals so we cannot diagnose you, and we discourage self diagnosis for the reasons listed here, however I do just want to list some of the symptoms of depression for you. Do you think you can relate to any of these symptoms?
Persistently sad, anxious, or empty moods
Loss of pleasure in usual activities
Feelings of helplessness, guilt, or worthlessness
Crying, hopelessness, or persistent pessimism
Fatigue or decreased energy
Loss of memory, concentration, or decision-making capability
Restlessness, irritability
Sleep disturbances
Change in appetite or weight
Thoughts of suicide or death, or suicide attempts
Poor self-image or self-esteem
(source)
I do think the best option for you right now is to speak to a professional, such as your doctor or a therapist. They will be able to help with a diagnosis, if applicable, and will start treatment with you. They will also help you to begin understanding what is causing these feelings, or lack of, and hopefully give you so coping mechanisms which you can apply to your daily life. I know reaching out for help can be really scary, but you deserve all of the help available to you, lovely. Here is a link to our page about getting help. Professionals are there to help you in any way they can, they won’t judge you, or make you do or tell them anything you don’t want to. If reaching out directly to a professional is not an option for you right now, then is there an adult that you trust such as a school teacher/member of staff, someone you work with?
In terms of your concerns about being scared to open up, you are definitely not alone in this and it is something so many people struggle with when first attending therapy or counselling. The best thing to do, is to share this with your therapist at your first appointment, it will be something that they are used to dealing with and they will be able to discuss with you how they can make you more comfortable. Personally my biggest fear was the unknown, especially about what would happen at the first session - this will be different for every therapist and every client, but here are a couple or articles that I think give a good brief idea to what might happen; one and two. If you are worried about saying things aloud and forgetting things that you want to say, you could always write down everything that you think is important such as symptoms, feelings, thoughts you are having. Then you can either use it as a way to remind yourself of the things you want to say, or you could just give it to your therapist for them to read; it just helps to take some of the pressure off your shoulders. Please try to remember that the therapist is there to help you in any way they can, they won’t judge you, and they won’t be shocked or horrified by anything you say. They are there for you, and you deserve all the help available to you to get better.
I am so sorry that you are struggling with self-harm - but please know that you are definitely not alone. I, too, have used self harm as a way to cope with feelings of depression and anxiety. I am going to link you to some of our pages about self harm and ways to try and overcome the urges you may have to hurt yourself. Personally I found the most helpful thing when facing an urge, was to keep my hands busy by doing something active like knitting or playing an instrument. A technique I suggest you try is working with time goals - so whenever you are facing an urge to hurt yourself, say to yourself that you will not hurt yourself for 5 minutes, and then when that 5 minutes is up the urge may have passed entirely. If the urge has not passed, then keep going with promising yourself you won’t hurt yourself for x amount of time, until the urge goes away; I promise it will go away eventually
Information about self-harmAlternatives to self-harmDistractions from self-harmReasons not to self-harmYoutube videos
I am also going to link you to our self-help and calming pages about anxiety. These pages have some great tips about dealing with anxious thoughts, including grounding techniques. Grounding techniques might be useful for you when you find yourself getting lost in anxious thoughts; I would recommend something physical like running your hands under cold water, and then saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly. Could you give some of these a go? I am also going to link you to this really great interactive booklet about depression created by Moodjuice. Personally I found this really informative and it had some great self-help tips.
I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely. Please remember that you can always get back in touch with us if there is anything else that we can help you with! Take care!
‘‘Keep fighting, people, and your little monsters will never get the best of you.’
Rhiann xo
#anonymous#mha#advice#advice blog#mental health advice#mental health blog#mharhiann#depression#anxiety#panic attack#depressive episodes#anxiety disorders#self harm#self injury#sh#si#getting help#seeing a professional#scared to open up#therapy#time goals
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