#idk if’s 8 in the morning and i’m never up this early

[star-girl69]

hi everyone! this is so lazy but pls enjoy 🫶🫶

warnings: swearing and also slight freaky stuff 😣

you: good morning my sweet girlfriend

kk: wtf

kk: why r u not in my bed??

you: babe… i told u i had to leave early this morning bc i had an appt

kk: for what?

you: getting my nails done

kk: u abandoned me to get ur nails done?

you: yes…?

you: i don’t think i appreciate this attitude maybe i’ll just go back to my dorm

kk: please come back to my place.

you: say pretty please with sprinkles on top

kk: y/n

you: ok see u tmrw then

kk: pretty please with sprinkles on top.

you: ofc i will come back to urs 🥰

kk: 🙄

you: attitude????

kk: no ily

you: aww i love u too!

—-

you: can u plz drive me to my friend’s birthday dinner on friday and pick me up

kk: what times

you: drop me off at 6 pick me up at 9

kk: ok no problem

you: thank u ily

you: i would carpool w my friend serena but i don’t trust her in a car

you: she runs red lights a lot lol

kk: ??? plz don’t ever get into a car with her. i will drive u always

you: aww ur so sweet! not wanting me to die 🥰

kk: anything for my passenger princess

—-

you: CAROLINE ROSE HARVEY

kk: im sorry

kk: i’m so sorry

kk: i’ll make it up to you i promise im so sorry

…

laila: what did you do to kk 😭😭

laila: she’s staring at her phone in horror and when i asked her what was wrong she just said y/n before putting her head in her hands

you: i’m letting her sit in fear for a minute

laila: i admire you a lot ❤️

…

you: so i wake up this morning

kk: yes and u looked so pretty when i left

you: thank u

you: anyways and i then go about my day and i’m ready to run out and do my errands i look at myself in the mirror

kk: and u saw how beautiful u r?

you: yes and also i saw a GAINT FUCKING HICKEY ON MY NECK

you: SEVERAL OF THEM ACTUALLY

kk: do u really want me to say sorry for that

you: yes??? i need so much makeup to cover this up. actually i think u should buy new concealer for me

kk: as long as i can do it again

you: no this is so embarrassing

kk: it’s ok you’ll be saying different later

kk: besides u were encouraging me last night

you: ur delusional i’ve never done that

kk: if u say so babe but we both know

you: *link to new concealer*

kk: just bought 2 prepare to use them up

you: no

kk: yessss

you: no

kk: 😉

you: die

kk: ❤️

—-

you: i’m really craving chick fil a

kk: ok

you: i’m REALLY craving chick fil a

kk: u mentioned that

you: bye u don’t care abt me

you: gonna go text my other hoes

kk: u don’t have other hoes

you: im about to

kk: we’ll see

you: PLEASE GET ME CHICK FIL A

you: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

kk: thought u were texting other hoes?

you: i lied ur my only hoe and ilysm

you: plz get me chick fil a

you: i’ll do a cartwheel on it

kk: ???

kk: babe i’ll get u chick fil a

kk: thanks tho? i think

you: YAYYYY

—-

kk: i know ur asleep right now and i know u r very tired and i’m sorry but i forgot my helmet can u pls bring it to me at the rink

you: how did u forget ur helmet

you: like it weighs 10 pounds and it’s huge

kk: mean

kk: and idk i’m stupid plz bring it

you: ugh fine i’m On my way!

you: omw.

you: im not excited

kk: i love u so much u r the light of my life i cannot imagine waking up without ur beautiful face next to me u are brighter than the sun and i love u

you: thank u shakespeare ur so romantic

you: can we go shopping tmrw and u pay i need new pants

kk: u don’t need pants

you: it’s 9am

kk: yes we can go shopping tmrw

you: love u!

kk: ❤️

—-

you: hi

you: are u doing anything tn?? i feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever

kk: i know baby i miss u

kk: i have practice until 8 but u can come over still after? sleepover?

you: yes definitely i’ll be there

kk: i cant wait to see u pretty girl

—-

you: omg this restaurant looks so good we should go

kk: sunday at 6?

you: um yes i’m free

kk: just made a reservation

you: damn 😭 i’m impressed

kk: whatever my girl wants she gets 🤷‍♀️

—-

you: hi baby

…

you: so what position u got her in rn?

you: missionary? cowgirl?

kk: why do i love u

you: blocked

kk: i have no girls in no positions except for u

you: why are u so busy then?

kk: picked up this new hobby called hockey idk if it will go anywhere

kk: been at the gym for an hour about to go hit the rink

you: send workout pics 😜

—-

kk: hiiiiiiiiii

you: hi babe

kk: tone down that attitude plz

you: ?

kk: actually

kk: turn around show me that ass

you: are u drunk rn

kk: maybe

kk: you have an amazing ass do i tell u that enough

kk: i should tell u more

kk: i love ur ass

you: thank u…

you: do u need to be picked up?

kk: no laila is dd

kk: wanted to talk to my pretty girl

you: u sure know how to make a girl blush

kk: only u babe

kk: i like ur boobs too

you: oh my god pls hand the phone to laila

kk: this is laila don’t worry we’re going home rn

you: laila ur a goddess thank u

kk: i try ❤️❤️

—-

[fairy-writes]

Could you do Reno with falling in love with his future s/o? Such as how would he be acting and such. Idk if I am doing this right

LOOKING BACK IN TIME

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Kaiju No. 8

Pairing(s): Ichikawa Reno x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader, Civilian!Reader, Confessions, Reminiscing, Reader is implied to be shorter than Reno

Notes: Reno and Reader are in their 20s in this!

__________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, Reno?” You say as you look up from your various papers scattered across your desk. 

Wedding planning was a pain. 

Reno looks up from his own papers with an eyebrow raised. 

“Yes?” He asks, and you rub between your eyebrows.

“Remember when we first met?” At that, he gets up and meanders his way over to your side, where you’re looking at old photos to put up during the wedding reception. 

There are photos of your first date, photos of your engagement, and photos of your accomplishments. There are photos of Reno in his dress blues from the Defense Force, of all his service accomplishments, everything. There are photos from all points in your life, but you made sure to emphasize moments with the both of you. 

“‘Course I do. It’s a day I’ll never forget.” He said, leaning down to kiss your hairline. Ever since your engagement, his affection has grown tenfold. He was always pressing a kiss to your cheek, lips, or hand, or always had a hand in yours or on the small of your back when walking. Sleeping together at night is also filled with him holding you tight, so wiggling is pretty much futile. 

You lean back against his waist as he casually lifts you up and settles you in his lap as he sits down. 

“Would you mind telling me?” You say, and he chuckles,

“Why do you like this story so much? You were there!” He teases, and you lace your hands with his against your stomach. He squeezes your entwined fingers gently.

“I like hearing you talk about what you felt. It makes me happy.” You say, and he sighs, but it isn’t unhappy. It’s almost embarrassed. 

“Well… I had just gotten hired at Monster Sweeper Inc.…”

Your name being called was what broke you from your work. 

You flip your visor up, where it’s covered in kaiju blood and ichor, and look to see your coworkers approaching you. It was still early in the morning, but Monster Sweeper Inc. was supposed to get this kaiju disposed of by the end of the week, so you had headed out early. 

“Working early now, are we? Are you trying to get overtime?” Mitsuike Ichitaka called up where you were setting down your chainsaw and heading down to meet them. 

“Of course I am! That’ll mean my paycheck is nice and fat this time. Plus, you know I’m always down for overtime.” You shoot right back and hop the last few feet off the kaiju leg onto the concrete. 

It was then that you realized there was someone new in your midst. 

He was your age, with silvery white hair and violet eyes. He looked mostly unfazed, but you could tell the smell of decomposing kaiju was slowly getting to him. It usually did for those just starting out. 

Maybe Kafka had an extra pair of nose plugs to lend him. He was typically prepared like that. 

Everyone noticed you looking at the new guy, and Ichitaka piped up again,

“This is Ichikawa Reno! He starts today!” He said and introduced Ichikawa to you by saying your name. You peeled off a glove and extended it for him to shake. 

“Nice t’ meet you!” You chirped, and he nodded, 

“I look forward to working with you.” He said formally, and you let out a loud laugh,

“No need to be so formal, Ichikawa. We’re practically the same age!”

Reno watched as you revved your heated chainsaw to cut through part of the bone of the massive kaiju before them. He had been put on intestine work and was grateful for any break he received. 

“You checking them out again?” Hibino Kafka teased, and Reno flinched in surprise. For someone so large, he was quiet when he wanted to be. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He mumbled and flinched again when Hibino threw an arm around his shoulders with a loud laugh. 

“Of course you do! C’mon, it’s your first day, and you already have a crush!” He poked at Reno’s side in jest. 

“Kafka!” You shouted from atop the monster's corpse, and the two of them froze in their bickering to look up at you. You hoisted your chainsaw up to rest against your hip, “You better not be picking on the new guy!” You chastised, and Reno watched as Hibino paled as you revved the chainsaw again and got back to work. 

He thinks that was the first time he fell in love. 

“You fell in love when I threatened Kafka with a chainsaw?” You look up at him, where he’s playing his video game. The two of you have taken a break from planning and moved to the front room. You sit in between his legs as he navigates his first-person shooter game. He hums and snipes an enemy.

“I think that’s when my crush on you first started. You looked really hot with it in hand.” He mumbles, cheeks flushing as he thinks back about it. 

You begin to giggle, reaching to pause his game before getting on your knees and turning to face him. You cup his cheeks and kiss each one, then his forehead, then his nose, before he eventually drops his controller and wraps his arms around your waist. 

“You keep missing.” He says softly and you grin before kissing him on the mouth. 

Reno is gentle, almost overly so. He kisses you fervently yet is as gentle as the snow falling outside. His hands are calloused from years of holding a weapon to defeat kaiju, and you can feel a few old scars underneath his cotton t-shirt where you’re gripping his shoulders. 

The two of you pull apart but are still close enough for his nose to brush yours. 

“Tell me more stories.” You whisper against his mouth and feel his lips twitch into a small smile. 

“What do you want to know?” He asks, and you shrug, handing him his controller as he begins to play again. 

“What made you ask me out? I remember what I felt, but I don’t know what you were feeling at the time.” You say after a moment of thought. 

That makes Reno go silent for a moment. 

“I think it was right before the Defense Force exam…”

Reno couldn’t help but scuff his sneakers against the concrete. 

You had agreed to meet him. 

The sun was setting, the work day was long over, but everyone was gathering for drinks. Or at least those who were of drinking age were. You and Reno were somewhat excluded. Instead of drinking alcohol, you had mocktails or other drinks of your choice. 

But he had asked you to meet him outside in a few moments to talk about something serious. He didn’t tell you what. Part of him wondered if you knew what he wanted to ask you. You were perceptive like that. 

“Ichikawa?” Your voice makes him duck his head as if expecting a blow. He wasn’t quite sure why. You would never hit him; at least, you wouldn’t unless it was a friendly swat on his shoulder. 

“You actually came outside.” He said, and you cock your head to the side, 

“Why wouldn’t I? You said it was serious.” You replied. Your hair is washed out in the moonlight. The noise from the pub beside you died as the two of you mutually decided to go for a walk. 

He itched to hold your hand. Itched to cradle it in his fingers to feel the callouses from the tools of your job. Or would your hand be smooth? You always wore gloves even when it wasn’t required, and he often saw you putting on lotion during breaks. 

“Ichikawa? What did you want to talk about?” You asked when you were about a block away from your coworkers and the pub. 

“Reno.” He said and saw you frown,

“Huh?”

“I—” He cut himself off and fidgeted with his fingers. “I want you to call me Reno.” He mumbled and watched as the words dawned on you. 

And then you smile brilliantly, lighting up the sky brighter than the moon. 

“I’m honored you want me to call you that. But was that all?” You said, and he shook his head.

“I also wanted to ask you something.” He said, stopped walking, turned to face you, and in a moment of boldness, took your hands in his. They were soft, softer than he thought they would be, and he caught a faint whiff of your floral lotion. 

However, the moment he grabbed your hands, his mind went blank, and he forgot everything he had planned and practiced to say. So he stood there dumbly in silence. 

At least until you spoke. 

“Might I guess what you were going to ask me?” You asked lightly, and he finally nodded. A kind smile graces your lips, and he feels his ears and cheeks burn in embarrassment. In the three months he had known you, he had come to cherish your smile. 

You finally speak after seemingly choosing your words carefully. 

“Were you going to ask me on a date?” You asked, and he froze. Were you really that perceptive?

You would’ve made an excellent Defense Force officer had you wanted to apply. But you told him you had no such inclination to do so. 

He finally nodded, and your smile grew. 

“I’d love to.” You said, squeezing his hands.

“How did you know?” Reno asks after he finishes his story, and you shrug, eyes locked on the television.

“Kafka might’ve spilled the beans. But I wanted to hear it from you, so I never said anything until you asked to talk to me.” You reply, and he huffs.

“I knew I never should’ve told him anything.” He mumbles, and you just laugh.

[femmefatale-tales]

Slut! ( Taylor’s version)

Warnings: so much fluff

Bucky x reader

“In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman”

“I hate men, I can’t stand them right now. I should’ve never went to the blind date Wanda set me up for, I should’ve known he was gonna be douche” I talked to myself as I was entering the compounds hall.

Not many people were present at the compound everyone was on missions and I tired of men, wanting to rant to my friends but since they weren’t present I was just talking to myself.

I plopped myself on the couch just staring at the ceiling. “I hate him, I hate men. I can’t even call him a man, he’s still a boy” I said to myself.

“Hey doll”, a raspy gorgeous familiar voice called me out of my trance.

Bucky.

I turned on my stomach on the couch and looked at him as he sat opposite to me on a chair looking as gorgeous as ever even with his bed hair.

“Were you talking to yourself just now?” I cringed.

“Well Wanda and Nat both are on a mission so, yeah I was kinda ranting to myself” I said smiling seeing his smile.

“You know, you can always rant to me” he spoke after a bit of a pause.

God, he was sooo…….

“Bucky I can’t rant to you about how much I hate men” I chuckled.

“Why not? I mean understand there are some douches in the world. My sister always talked with me about this stuff” he joked.

…..distracting with his pretty smile and that black sweaters hugging his biceps just enough to stop my breaths.

“Really? Are you sure?” I questioned.

“Yes doll” he assured.

“Okayyyy. Um so Wanda set me up on a blind date and she was so convincing, I couldn’t say no to her. So I went to the date today and he was 40 minutes LATE!!. And then I couldn’t even tell a bit about myself, I’m sure he might not even know my name. He was talking about himself the whole night, never pulled my chair, never walked me home which I’m kinda glad for but he wasn’t a idk he jus-

Wasn’t you.

“Wasn’t a gentleman?” Bucky finished my sentence and my heart couldn’t have beated more faster I thought.

“ yes” I spoke breathless a bit.

Did my heart always beat so fast near Bucky?.

“Doll, he didn’t deserve you. You deserve more than this”

You?

“Bucky, gentlemen like you don’t exist anymore” I scoffed.

In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.

“Im sure they do you, doll. Im sure there is a gentleman for you” he reasoned.

“Maybe”

“Im sure”

“You promise?” I joked as I stood up to leave wishing he would stop me and ask to be my gentleman.

“Yes”

“Thank you” I said as I left.

He smiled, killing my heart.

“Got love struck, went straight to my head”

“I told you sam, don’t take that cup” I heard Bucky’s voice while I entered the kitchen rubbing my eyes from woken up so early.

“God! Fine!” Sam semi shouted frustrated.

I winced.

“Why are you guys yelling at 8 in the morning???” I said

“Sorry doll” Bucky looked away a bit like he didn’t want me here.

“It’s all his fault” Sam argued.

I looked at Sam, a bit confused.

“For some reason he’s not letting me have this cup for coffee yet he’s not using it too” he complained and Bucky winced.

I was still confused and a bit hurt seeing Bucky ignore me.

“What cup??” I questioned.

“This red one” he showed me.

I couldn’t be more surprised to see my own new cup I brought the other day.

Bucky was not letting him drink in that cup cause it’s mine? Does he even know? Or is he just messing with Sam?

My head felt a bit fuzzy.

“Um that’s my cup” I confirmed trying not to smile but I knew the blush was creeping up in my cheeks.

A realisation dawned on sam’s face as he spoke “Oh it is…..”

He started chuckling

“We’ll enjoy your cup DOLL” he exasperated.

But I couldn’t stop looking at Bucky and never realised Sam left.

Bucky poured coffee in my cup.

He walked towards me to hand me the cup with a sheepish smile on his face.

I couldn’t breath.

“I remember you said your day always goes bad when you don’t have your cup sooo..” he handed me the coffee.

Oh god.

“Enjoy your coffee doll” he whispered in my ear.

And I, got love struck, went straight to my head.

Got love sick all over my bed.

“My head hurts” I stated as I layed on my bed.

Wanda and Nat laying besides me. It was the peak of girls night and I couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky, it was making my head hurt and the alcohol in my system didn’t help.

“I like him so much, I feel sick” I said.

I told them everything that happened between me and Bucky and how I was starting to catch feelings.

“Tell him then” nat said and Wanda hummed in agreement.

“I can’t, he sees my as a friend. He won’t like me back”

No one responded.

I looked at them and they had fallen asleep.

I kept thinking about him.

And just like that, the more I thought about him…

I got love sick all over my bed.

I never slept that night.

“Love to think you’ll never forget. We’ll pay the price I guess”

“Tony! Why is tonight’s party a Date party??? Why is a date compulsory?” I complained.

“Let me guess, you don’t have one?” He said smugly.

Yes.

“No, I do” I lied.

“Then bring him”

That asshole.

I left.

Did Bucky have a date? Was he going? Will he ask why I didn’t come? Will he even remember?

I- love to think he’ll never forget.

I didn’t see him coming when I bumped into him.

“Hey doll” he smiled.

I looked up. Swallowing the words on tongue.

“Hey” I said as I backed up a bit for my own sanity.

“You going to the party tonight?”

He asked and my heart jumped.

“No, not really. I don’t have a date”

“Really?”

“Um yeah” I said embarrassed.

“Come with me then” I looked at him wide eyed suprised, my throat dry.

“What?”

“Come with me doll” he repeated smiling.

“Um didn’t tony say “no teammates as dates” in the invitation?” I asked breathless.

“We’ll pay the price, I guess” he shrugged.

“I’ll get ready then” I smiled like I had never ever felt happiness before.

“Me too, gotta get ready for my lady” he kissed my cheek and left.

I was frozen on spot. But I ran to my room as soon as I was out of my trance. Giggling like a school girl.

“But if I’m all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us. And if they call me a slut, You know it might be worth it for once.

I was scared. Was I dressed to slutty? Is this too much? What if Bucky doesn’t like?

That’s all I thought while I walked to his room in a black dress I thought looked too slutty.

The dress is was gorgeous but something got into my head.

I knocked on his door. What if he thinks I’m a slut? What if he thinks I’m stupid to ask hi-

He opened the door. In all his glory wearing a white shirt tucked in black pants, with his hair slick back and I forgot everything.

“Hey, gorgeous” he said.

I couldn’t comprehend that HE called me gorgeous.

“Hey” I say sheepishly looking up at him.

“You look breathtaking” he complimented making me breathless again.

“You think so?” I questioned.

“Doll, I have never seen someone as gorgeous and beautiful as you” he confessed.

I couldn’t believe him.

“Bucky, you’ve seen so many woman in you life, don’t lie”

“That’s right I have, so shouldn’t it speak volumes when I say you are the most gorgeous and beautiful woman I’ve ever seen?” He tucked my chin upwards making me look at him.

I got so lost in his eyes.

“What if people look at us weird?” I asked.

“If you’re all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us” he smiled looking at me, still so close as ever.

I couldn’t help but smile looking at him.

“What if people think the dress is too slutty? What if they call me a slut ?” I questioned again.

“Then we won’t leave until I punch them in the face, and who cares about people. I don’t think the dress is slutty, You look perfect” he replied and reassured me again.

He’s right. Why would I care about others with him by my side. Who cares right?

Right.

“Let’s go doll” he took his blazer.

“I’m ready for our date” he stated smiling as he took my hand in his and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

“Bucky” I stoped at the door.

“Yes?”

“I want to tell you, I really enjoyed tonight incase I forget later, And if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once” I told him smiling my biggest.

He kissed me, on the lips this time.

“But I’ll still punch anyone in face who does” he said as he held my flushed smiley face against his breathless smiley face.

[tojisnexfwife]

Sweet lies part two

Pairing •Toji x gn!reader

Warnings• Angst!, Cheating, suggestive (they like lowkey make out), manipulation, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!, Cursing. Lmk if i forgot any!

Word count • 1079 words

A/n • I had this pre written ever since i put out the first part but was so hesitant on posting it LMAO! Enjoy! Masterlist is pinned!

You knew life after the honeymoon phase was rough but nothing could’ve prepared you for the drastic switch in you and Toji’s relationship. About two months the after you guys got married is when you realized the mistake you made. Your days went from him coming home from work and showering you with affection to him coming in with an inaudible hello. You were confused on what you could be doing wrong. He was coming home to a clean house with food on the table, a bath prepared and you all dolled up for him, just how he liked it. This went on for months and throughout those months he’s just been coming home later and later. The man who was once coming home every day at five now walking through the front door as late as ten at night. It didn’t bother you until your 26th birthday.

You woke up excited to celebrate your first birthday as a married woman. For your birthday last year Toji went all out so you couldn’t help but let your expectations be high! Toji wasn’t there when you woke up, which was normal because he usually leaves extremely early in the morning. You spent your day pampering yourself to the max, expecting to maybe go out later. Soon enough five o clock rolls around. You sit pretty and patient on the couch, telling yourself he’s just running a little late. You wait… and you wait.. sending text after text to your husband every hour.

Hubby💍❤️

5:30pm

Y/n: Hey babe coming home soon?

6:15

Y/n: Toj idk what you have planned but i’m super excited! see you soon❤️

7:23

Y/n: Hey is everything okay??

8:54

Y/n: Hello?

9:46

Y/n: Toji it’s almost 10 where are you?

10:27

Y/n: Toji?

You send your last text with tears falling from your eyes. You hate to think he forgot your birthday. It can’t be. He just got caught up in something. It has to be. You check the time one last time. 11:03. You then tell yourself you need to go to bed. As you stand up from the couch the door opens and the man you’ve been waiting for finally shows. You do nothing but stare at him, tears mixed with mascara running down your puffy cheeks. “The hell happened to you?” he says, taking off his shoes, tie, and blazer. He begins to unbutton his shirt, purple marks adorning his chest. That was in that moment when something in you just… snapped.

“Toji, what is today?” you slowly walk towards him. He shrugs, scratching the back of his head. “Look doll, i’m beat. Can we talk tomorrow?” he begins to walk towards the stairs that lead to your shared bedroom “No. Absolutely the fuck not.” oh crap. did you just say that? he stops in his tracks and turns to you. “Excuse me?” Shitshitshitshitshit what do you say? why did u say that? “Toji i asked you a question. What. Is. Today.” you keep up the tough girl act, too deep to back out now. “Y/n.” he walks closer to you but you back away “Toji today is my fucking birthday. Today is my birthday and i’ve been home all day thinking my ‘husband’ was going to at least come home on time but you were out fucking some bitch!” You begin to yell, crying harder than you were before. “The fuck are you talking about?” You weren’t stupid, you knew he was cheating but who were you to say anything. You were nothing without him. You didn’t want to ruin things. You can’t lose him. “Toji, i know you’re seeing someone else but i at least thought you would have some type of respect or decency to not do this to me on my fucking birthday.”You’re falling apart in front of him.

The silence is strong. He walks towards you and wraps his arms around you, holding you close. “Things just haven’t been right with me, i don’t know why i do the things i do. You know how much you mean to me baby, i never want to hurt you.” i never want to hurt you. Those words replay in your mind. He brings his hands to hold your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. “You know I love you and only you, right?” you wanted to yell at him. You wanted to kick and scream but something in you made you believe every word he was saying. Instead of doing any of those things you just nodded. Shame rose in you but it all started to fade away when his lips connect with yours. You know this isn’t right, this isn’t healthy but that doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck and letting his hands wander. “I’m so sorry baby.” his lips travel to your neck. You try to hold back sounds but he knows just what to do to get it out if you. “Gonna let me show my girl how sorry i am?” you just started at him. not wanting to say yes but you didn’t want to disappoint him by saying no either.

You have to draw a line somewhere. “I think i just wanna go to sleep…” Removing your hands from him and stepping back. His looks confused but he doesn’t press further. Is it bad that part of you wishes he did? You wished he would’ve showed some kind of kind want, not just wanting to fuck out of pity. You know why he didn’t tho, he already got his fix of pussy for the night and it didn’t come from you. What a shame.

That night you couldn’t sleep, you were up all night silently crying. Is this really what your life was? You had lost yourself in this relationship. Your 26th birthday was a wake up call. The next few days were rough, he was just coming home later and later. Not to mention he wasn’t even trying to hide his affairs, He started to be careless. Not bothering to cover the scratches or hickeys that covered his body, leaving his phone open when you could see messages from the multiple girls and having panties and various other items in his car that didn’t belong to you. It’s like he was trying to hurt you, but isn’t that what he said he never wanted to do?

[underoossss]

Idk if ur taking requests but I'd love to request a steve harrington x reader, where the reader is the one that is trying to get Steve to open up and trust to let her love him and be a part of his life. I read a lot of steve doing that for reader but I'd love to switch it around

I hope you like this! thank you for your request💖 2k (sorry for any typos)

It was early on a Friday morning when you met Steve Harrington.

New to town and your job at the coffee shop, you were wholly unprepared to see the beautiful boy that walked in by chance during your shift. It’s as if he was stepping into your life just like in the movies, in slow motion montage with his hair blown back by the crisp autumn air. You never imagined he’d end up being your friend –or more– but he did.

You stumbled through your meeting, your heartbeat loud in your ears as he made easy conversation with you. Thankfully there was no one else at the shop, so there was no need to rush his order as he asked question after question.

“I’m Steve.” He said with a smile when you handed him his order. “Steve Harrington.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Steve.” You smiled back and gave him your name despite it being displayed on your apron. “Have a nice day.”

“Thanks.” He raised his large latte in farewell and smiled again for good measure. “Catch you later.”

It only went uphill from then on. Though you didn’t think you’d see him, let alone talk to him again, you did. Steve turned up at your morning shift like clockwork, charming smiles and easy conversation everyday. It was never that easy for you to talk to someone, but with Steve it was a piece of pie. There was a connection between you, and you know Steve felt it too with how comfortable the two of you grew in the presence of the other.

Then there was the matter of your crush. Inevitable really, but your mind struggled to catch up with how hard your heart was falling for him. You thought about him day and night, his smile, his legs and the way his hair glows when the setting sun catches on the strands. Your heart jumped when you saw him, your skin buzzed when your fingers brushed. Each time you tried to put some distance between you, give your heart a little break from the onslaught of your feelings, Steve bulldozed his way through every wall you attempted to put up.

One day four months after you met, you realized just how lucky you were to have him be so open with you. It was probably 8:30 at night when you finished closing up the store, flipping the sign and putting the chairs upside down on the tables. Steve was sitting on a booth by the back, talking about his shift at FV. He insisted on staying with you after closing time, and the two of you made a casual hangout out of it.

Once you were done with the routine cleanup, you placed the day’s leftover pastries on a tray between you; Steve’s hand reached for them mindlessly as the two of you talked. It was the first time Steve mentioned his past, the failed relationships that hurt him and the awful things the town went through at the same time. You apologized for bringing it up but he shook his head, his hand reaching for yours in comfort. It’s okay I wanted to tell you.

He talked about his friend Robin, and you talked about your friend who moved to New York and you haven’t heard from since. Steve asked if you ever had a boyfriend and you shrugged. I pretend I never did, he said I felt too much, whatever that means. Steve trash talked him and it made you laugh so hard your stomach hurt. There behind the shop’s closed curtains you realized how lucky you were to have this gem of a friendship.

Weeks later you run into Robin, Steve’s friend, and then Steve himself in the frozen goods aisle at the grocery store. They were going to hang out with their kid friends, and you were on grocery shopping duty for your house. You should’ve been used to Steve and being near him, but you get flustered anyway, looking at him and away every moment he caught you looking.

Robin invited you to a party the next day, the one that changed everything.  

 It’s late the next night at the party when you find a quiet place to talk to Steve. The two of you sat down close together on a couch, your knees touching his as you talked for what felt like hours. As the minutes ticked by, the two of you leaned closer and closer, Steve’s voice lowering to hushed whispers and yours doing the same. You laughed so hard to teared up and Steve looked at you like he accomplished the most incredible thing in the world. He’d listened to you talk about the past, all his attention solely on you before he shared details of his own life. Months and months of knowing each other led you to that moment of true comfort, where the whole world disappeared.

Then he’d asked you to dance, and you never felt more alive. It was fun and exciting, and every time you saw Steve have fun, your heart jumped inside your chest. Until the music slowed down and his hands settled on your waist while yours went around his neck. Something shifted right then –or so you thought– an irreversible jump from being friends to something else. Something more, that rhymed a lot with the word love. Steve’s eyes locked on yours and sparks danced between you, turning everything a hazy and lovely pink only heightened by Steve’s words.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” He asked, voice low as he smiled.

“Yes.” You whispered back, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

But then a phone call came while you were at work the next Monday afternoon, hours before you were set to get ready for the date. An apologetic and hesitant Steve murmuring that he was sorry and that it’s for the best that you cancel the date. When you agreed and asked him what day would be better, he’d said sorry and hung up.

✰✰✰✰

It’s Friday night and you’re walking up to Steve’s front door.

The past three days have been a rollercoaster of emotions to be sure. You were angry, then sad, then hurt and confused. Up until last night, when you calmed down enough to think about everything that happened from the day you first met Steve until last Monday. The conversation you had past closing time that one night many months ago is what made everything finally click.

Steve is scared. Steve threw the towel because his heart has been broken too many times for him to risk it again. As much as his phone call hurt the other day, you understand where he’s coming from and like a lovestruck fool you want to make sure he’s okay. You want him to know you’re okay with his decision. He doesn’t have to love you, but you’ll let him know he deserves to let himself be loved. So, with eyes red from crying and a shaking hand, you ring the doorbell.

“Babe… what–?” Steve voice is hoarse as he speaks, then he clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair. It doesn’t help with the mess it’s in at all. “What are you doing here?”

He stands in front of you in a sweatshirt and jeans, his hair a mess and dark circles under his eyes. You want to be mad at him again, anything to distract you from the loud thump thump thump heart gives in your chest for him. He’s the same smiling boy you’re used to seeing and the idea of his intrusive thoughts winning make you step forward and hug him tight.

“Are you okay?” You whisper against the soft material of his sweatshirt, your arms around his waist. “I came to see if you were okay.”

Steve’s arms go around you, his cheek settles on top of your head, and everything in you melts. “Now I am.”

 “Can I come in?” You ask, moving to look up at him.

“Yeah, yeah come in.” He nods, letting go of you and opening the door.

The two of you remain silent as you walk to the living room, wordlessly sitting on the couch. Where you used to sit with your thighs pressing together, there’s now enough space between the two of you for someone else. The space Steve wants.

You decide to break the silence first. “I understand where you were coming from, on Monday.”

“I’m sorry, I got scared.” Steve shakes his head and looks away. “I don’t think I can be heartbroken again when this doesn’t work out.”

You frown, turning in your spot to look at him better. “Stevie, what makes you so sure it won’t work out?”

Steve squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath before glancing at you. “Because there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you!” You shake your head, eyebrows meeting in the middle. “Steve, you’ve been with the wrong people, that’s it. It’s–”

“It’s not me, it’s them?” Steve scoffs, but a single tear leaves his eye. “Sure heard that before.”

You move closer to him, kneeling and settling on your heels on the couch. “Stevie, I know you’ve been hurt, and I know you’re scared it’ll happen again. But don’t think it’s you, don’t be unkind with yourself.”

Steve turns and looks at you, his eyes an ocean of emotions. It makes your eyes sting as you start to cry. “I just…” You hiccup between words.

“I just wish you’d look in front of you because I’m here, Steve. And I’m going to remind you how much I love you every day if it means you believe me when I say that you’re worthy of all the love in the world.” Your voice cracks at the end and you clear your throat to speak again, cutting Steve off.

“I know I can’t change the way you feel about yourself, but please trust what I think of you.” You whisper, one hand moving to hold his cheek gently; your faces inches away from each other now. “You’re the most wonderful person I’ve met. You’re fun, and kind, and loving. Anyone would be so lucky to have you and you deserve to have someone love you, even if it’s not me.”

You shake your head and will your tears to stop as you place a kiss on his cheek before stand up. You turn to leave, needing to put space between you, but Steve is quick to stand and take a hold of your hand. When you glance back at him, brown eyes –vulnerable and sweet and loving– look back at yours, and the tiniest of grins lifts the corner of Steve’s lips. “It is you.” He tells you softly, moving his hand to your hip as he takes a step closer. “I want you, if you still want me.”

Something in your eyes must scream Yes, of course I want you! Because next thing you know Steve leans down, so so close to your lips and smiles before kissing you. A pleased sound leaves you, muffled by his lips and they brush against yours. Steve’s hands clutch at the material of your sweatshirt behind you back and you open up to him, running your fingers through his hair. The kiss is everything, and not enough to express your feelings at the same time. Steve invades your senses, his touch and his lips and his affection taking over every though until you’re left dizzy and so in love you could faint.

“I’m so sorry.” Steve pecks your lips before he looks into your eyes. “I love you, so much it scared me. I didn’t think I would feel this way again.”

“I love you too.” You smile softly, leaning up to kiss his lips gently. “I promise you I won’t hurt you, Stevie, quite the opposite.” Steve nods and presses his forehead against yours. “I trust you.”

Reblogs are appreciated 🥹

masterlist

[writingdumpster]

sinner

Rhett Abott x reader

warnings: SMUT 18+, religious language (idk you see the title and summary), daddy! kink, fem receiving oral, ass play, fingering, p in v, squirting, cum eating, praise kink, dom/sub dynamics

summary: Rhett convinces you to stay home from church since you don't have any sins to pray for. He insists you've got to make some.

word count: 2k

It was an early Sunday morning. The sky was blue and the birds were chirping. You were in bed with Rhett. Sunlight was peeking through your curtains when you glanced at the clock. It was 8:24. You barely had 20 minutes to get ready for church. You climbed out of bed quickly. Rhett opened his eyes upon feeling you leave his arms. 

“Where’re you going, darlin?” Rhett murmured. His voice was low and gravely as it always was in the morning. 

“Church,” you said. He groaned. 

“Don’t leave me just to go to church,” Rhett whined. He was gazing at you as you removed your pajamas. You ignored him. You had this argument with him any Sunday he stayed at your place. He always wanted you to stay, but you had a duty. You had one to Rhett as well, but to put him before God was a sin. 

“You could come with me,” you offered. 

“Can’t do the things I wanna do to you in a church, honey,” he teased as you pulled on a pair of underwear. 

“Keep your mind out of the gutter, cowboy. It’s the lord’s day,” you said. Rhett sighed. 

“What’s the point in going to church if you don’t have sins to pray for, sweet girl?” Rhett called cheekily. 

“I can pray for all your sins,” you teased. “Lord knows there’s plenty.” Rhett fell quiet. You continued  “Besides I told Cecilia I’d go shopping with her afterwards, so I’ve got to go.” 

Rhett’s hands were on your waist suddenly. He was pulling you back against his bare chest, still clad only in his thin cotton boxers. He leaned over your shoulder, lips brushing over the crest of your ear. 

“Stay. You can make up an excuse, darlin,” you said. 

“Lying is a sin, Rhett,” you told him. He ignored you. 

“Why don’t I call my mom and say ‘y/n woke up with the flu?’” Rhett suggested. 

“That’s lying, Rhett,” you reminded him. 

“C’mon, darlin.” His voice was smooth and low. “Let me worship you today,” he said as his hands landed on you again, gently moving up your body till he was cupping your breasts. He gave them a squeeze before holding your cheeks in his hands. 

“That’s definitely a sin, Rhett,” you chided, though your composure was falling away as his hands continued drawing trails all over your body. You were clad only in a bra and underwear, as Rhett had been interrupting your dressing efforts.

“Good,” he said. “Don’t have nothin to pray for now. You’re just my sweet little angel. You never do me wrong,” Rhett cooed. You moaned at the praise and Rhett grinned. He had you. You weren’t going anywhere. 

“Rhett, please,” you whimpered. With a few sweet words and the right nickname Rhett could turn you into a puddle. 

“‘Please’ what?” He mimicked you.

“Please…don’t tease me,” you begged. 

“Tease you?” Rhett taunted. “Now you want to be a sinner?” You nodded. “Say it, angel.” He ordered. “Tell me you’re a sinner.” 

“I’m a sinner, daddy,” you whimpered. Rhett smirked.

“Tell me your sins,” he ordered. 

“Lust,” you confessed. Rhett grinned. 

“Who do you lust for, darlin?” Rhett pushed. 

“For you, daddy. Always you,” you said, your voice dripping with desperation. 

“And what do you want me to do to you, hmm?” His voice was low and his lips trailed over your neck, just barely brushing the sensitive skin there. 

“Touch me, daddy. Please.” Your voice was wavering as you tried to maintain your composure. 

“Where, angel?” He asked you. You whined. You were always embarrassed to say your fantasies out loud, but Rhett always knew how to drag them out of you. He loved the way your cheeks would burn when you were finally able to spit out what you wanted from him. 

“I…I want you to kiss me first,” you managed. Rhett hummed. 

“Then what?” He asked. 

“Kiss, Rhett. Please,” you begged needily. Rhett smirked. He raised his lips from your neck to press them to yours. His hands gripped your waist tightly, pulling you flush against him. His skin was warm on yours and you could feel the hard muscle of his chest against your body. His kiss was warm and rough, just like him. You could smell the remnants of Rhett’s soap and your fingers tangled themselves in the hair at the back of his neck. You parted your lips, hoping he would indulge you and moaned in appreciation when he slid his tongue into your mouth. He pulled away slowly, leaning back in for one last tender kiss. Then he pushed your body away from you and looked at you with a smirk. 

“What next, baby?” Rhett asked. You whimpered. “C’mon, darlin. Don’t be shy,” he encouraged. 

“Daddy, please,” you whined. You gave him your best puppy dog eyes as you reached out for him again, but Rhett held you at a distance. 

“You’re not gettin off that easy, angel,” Rhett said. “Tell me what you want.” You pouted and Rhett pouted right back at you to tease you. You sighed. 

“Want you to eat my pussy,” you whispered. 

“Say it louder,” he called. 

“Rhettt,” you whined. 

“If you wanna sin, you better confess to ‘em, angel,” he told you. You huffed. 

“I want you to eat my pussy, daddy,” you said firmly. Rhett grinned. 

“Good girl,” he praised. “Get on the bed.” You quickly hopped back onto the bed and turned onto your back. “Uh-uh, babydoll. On your knees.” You let out a small gasp but quickly followed his instructions. You settled onto your hands and knees and looked over your shoulder as Rhett climbed onto the bed. He was clad in only his plaid boxers which were doing a poor job of covering up how hard he was for you. He settled behind you tugging your underwear down so they were pooled around your knees. He grabbed your ass cheeks and spread them wide for himself. 

“Stop teasing, please. I need you,” you whined. Rhett looked down at your pussy–his sacred prize. He watched as a thick drop of your cum slid out of your pussy and onto the sheets beneath you. Rhett moaned. 

“Fuuck, baby,” Rhett groaned. “You’re dripping. Literally.” You whined and shook your ass a bit, trying to entice him to give you what you wanted. 

“Please, daddy,” you whined. “I need your mouth.” 

“Alright, babydoll. I’ve made you wait long enough.” Suddenly you felt his warm soft tongue sliding through your folds, the tip of his tongue brushing against your clit. 

“Ohhhhh, fuuuck, daddy” you moaned lowly. Rhett chuckled against you, the vibrations pulling another dramatic whine from you. He flicked his tongue up into your dripping center, exploring the depths of your warm pussy as if it were the first time. He drank up your wetness until he was satisfied and then returned his attention to your clit. You whined as he moved the tip of his tongue quickly against the most sensitive part of your body. You were whining and moaning, lost in pleasure. Then you felt Rhett’s thumb prodding into your asshole. 

“Mmmmh, fuck, more, please!” You cried, giving him permission to move further. He pushed his thumb against your asshole, just applying pressure. It was firm, but he hadn’t slipped into you yet. He would be the first man to do it. He knew that. He was savoring every moment of this. His hand was spread out across your right ass cheek, pulling it open so his thumb could reach your asshole. Rhett began moving his thumb in small circles against your tight hole. He would push a bit father into you every now and then, but hadn’t breached the rim yet. His tongue was still moving against your pussy and you hadn’t closed your mouth in what felt like hours. 

Suddenly his thumb was pressing harder into you, and then it happened. He slipped the tip of his thumb past your rim and the moan you let out was holy to Rhett’s ears. 

“Fuck! Rhett!” You screamed. Rhett moaned back to you, earning another moan as the vibrations hit your clit. He began pushing his thumb further into you, slowly but surely opening you up. He leaned away from your pussy so he could watch as his thumb slid into you all the way to the knuckle. You were panting and gasping, unable to catch your breath. 

“Fuck, angel,” Rhett moaned. “That’s so fucking hot.” He began slowly pulling his thumb out of you, and you whimpered as you felt him move inside you. He got almost to the tip of his thumb before slowly thrusting it back into you. 

“I’m gonna come, Rhett,” you whimpered. 

“Go ahead, sweet girl. You earned it.” With his last bit of praise you let out a deep groan as you came undone. Rhett reached up with his other hand and slid two fingers into you, pumping them up against your wall roughly. He could feel his own thumb pushing against the wall of your pussy and he groaned sinfully. You pulsed around his thumb and fingers as you came, wetness dripping from your pussy. Your arms fell from beneath you, your face pushing into the pillow beneath you. Rhett pulled his fingers from your pussy and you gasped. He kissed the smooth skin of your ass. Then he carefully pulled his thumb out of you. You whimpered as your muscles stretched back closed, no longer having to accommodate his thick finger. You were trying to catch your breath when Rhett grabbed you, flipping you over onto your back. He crawled back up till he was even with you and leaned down, pressing soft kisses against your face. 

“Doing alright, angel?” Rhett asked. 

“Mmhmm,” you hummed happily. “Want your cock now, daddy. Want it inside me.” Rhett grinned at your eagerness. 

“Okay, babydoll. You always get what you want, don’t you?” He pulled your underwear fully off your legs before discarding his as well. He took up a steady pace–enough to have you whimpering without pushing you over the edge. 

“Faster, daddy,” you begged. Rhett groaned, completely turned on by how ravenous he had gotten you. He complied at once, snapping his hips more quickly against yours. He grabbed hold of your leg hitching it up over his hip to adjust the angle that he was hitting you at. The change had you arching your back into him as you cried out in pleasure. 

“What a good fuckin girl you are,” Rhett cooed. “Taking daddy’s cock like the good little angel you are,” he praised. You whimpered helplessly as he pounded into you. 

“Rhe-e-ett!” You cried. 

“Come,” he ordered, already knowing what you were begging for. You screamed out in pleasure. If you didn’t live in Wabang where the nearest neighbor was three acres away, someone surely would have heard you. Rhett felt you tightening down on him and sped up his thrusts, reaching down to rub his thumb against your clit as he leaned back onto his knees. You started squirting around him and he grinned. 

“That’s right, babydoll. Squirt for me,” he said with a chuckle. He pulled out of you, quickly rubbing against your clit as the clear fluid poured out of you. He was fisting his cock with his free hand. You were still in the depths of your orgasm when you felt him spraying his warm cum onto your stomach. The two of you both took a moment to recover before chuckling at one another. You glanced down at the cum on your stomach and wiped it up onto your fingers before sucking them into your mouth. Rhett groaned. 

“And you say I’m a sinner,” he joked.

“You’re the one who stuck his thumb in my ass,” you teased back. 

“You let me,” he replied. You held back a smile as you looked up at his blue eyes. 

“We’re both going to church next week,” you said. “Lord knows we need it.”

[applexxpop]

Welcome home ship thoughts

Home is not included

Wally Darling

Wally x Barnaby 9/10- LOVE IT. can see then being platonic or romantic. Loving the size difference and honestly they just look cute together. Wally definitely gives Barnaby bones and treats and Barnaby gives Wally new paint tubes

Wally x Howdy 10/10- I LOVE THIS SHIP, the fact Howdy has 4 arms to squish Wally with is just 😩 also again, the size difference, it makes my brain go brrr. Wally steals Apples and Howdy calls him greedy but let’s him have whatever

Wally x Julie 0/10- Don’t like it. I just can’t see it? Idk I see Julie as a big sister to him

Wally x Eddie 8/10- love this ship, just a southern man that forgets everything with a straight forward autistic man makes my brain go silly. Also when Eddie delivers mail he definitely kisses Wally’s cheek or something and says “special delivery!” And Wally does his little monotone laugh “Ha Ha Ha” and gives the mailman a kiss back

Wally x Frank 7/10- it’s been growing on me honestly, Wally definitely captures ‘butterflies’ for Frank to study but Frank doesn’t have to heart to tell me it’s a moth.

Wally x Sally 0/10- honest can’t see it, I find it platonic or them just being little gremlins together

Wally x Poppy 0/10- she’s a mother to him 💀 Poor girl ruffles her feathers at anything Wally does that causes Danger to himself, which happens often to none but still, she worries for him

Barnaby B. Beagle

Barnaby x Howdy 9/10- Barnaby’s thing said he comes into Howdy’s bodega everyday to get a hotdog, so imagine he comes in everyday and they develop feelings for each other slowly as the days, weeks, and months go by

Barnaby x Julie 0/10- just no, to me Barnaby is her big brother

Barnaby x Eddie 2/10- never thought about until now. Can’t see it ever happening, mailman and a dog? Yea, no. But Barnaby chasing after Eddie is kinda cute

Barnaby x Frank 2/10- again, never thought about it until now, honestly they just seem like the two neighbors that are friends with everyone but they don’t talk that often to each other

Barnaby x Sally 0/10- again little sister big brother

Barnaby x Poppy 0/10- she reminds him of his mama

Howdy Pillar

Howdy x Julie 0/10- I just- I don’t know something about Julie screams little sister to them to me

Howdy x Eddie 9/10- very cute, the only two business owners in Welcome Home in a relationship? I’m my opinion, that’s cute. I can see Eddie delivering packages and stuff to Howdy and Eddie give him a big ol smooch and happily says “special delivery!” And Howdy smiles and says “I wonder who it’s from!” And Eddie goes “Me!” And they both laugh! Also they spend the early morning together, Eddie got all his mail ready to be delivered so he sits and eats breakfast with Howdy before he starts getting his bodega ready for the day.

Howdy x Frank 8/10- Also very cute! A 4ft grumpy man that’s special interest is butterflies with a 8ft tall caterpillar? Yes, please. I imagine Frank calls or visits Howdy’s bodega to ask if he’s had lunch yet or if he ate breakfast he packed for him, and of course Howdy ate the Breakfast but he’s been so busy he hasn’t eaten lunch so they eat lunch together.

Howdy x Sally 0/10- seriously what’s up with me thinking they are little sisters to everyone??

Howdy x Poppy 0/10- I think he sees Poppy almost as a mother as well; she calls him darling and brings him cookies, or when he works late at the bodega and falls asleep, she just happens to visit and sees, placing a blanket over him or waking him up so he can rest in his proper bed.

Eddie Dear

Eddie x Julie 0/10- they gossip about Frank but in a good way, also they play dress up and have tea party’s

Eddie x Frank 1000/10- Literally husbands. I could go on for fucking ever about these two but if I do this will be longer then I want so I’m just going to say I REALLY REALLY love them <3

Eddie x Sally 0/10- helps bandage her knees cause she’s always rehearsing dramatic scenes for her plays, can’t tell me otherwise

Eddie x Poppy 0/10- she’s a mama to everyone

Frank Frankly

Frank x Julie 0/10- no 💀 they are best friends

Frank x Sally 0/10- just no, they are both gay(in my opinion)

Frank x Poppy 0/10- No, once again SHE IS MAMA. Also they tell eachother their deepest darkest secrets 🤫

Poppy Partridge

Poppy x Julie 0/10- just can’t see it

Poppy x Sally ?/10- ….im thinking about it

Julie Joyful

Julie x Sally 10/10- Girlfriends for real. Sally let’s Julie reluctantly change the scripts in her plays because it makes her happy and Sally loves seeing her sunshine happy🥰

Eddie x Frank x Howdy 10000/10- oh my 😍 Imagine them cuddling, and Frank is In the middle while Eddie spoons them from behind, and Howdy's arms are over both of them, one arm under the pillow, one under Frank. the other two laying over Frank holding Eddie’s waist . One of Frank's arms curled around Eddie’s arm with their other hand clinging to Howdy’s night shirt.

[lottiepumpkinofficial]

Day 8

Chap’s 21, 22, 23

ahh i know we’re only doing a few chapters a day but it feels like were simultaneously going so fast and also taking our time, it’s mad to me that we’re in the 20s now but i usually read up in less than a day

for lottie, someone who couldn’t necessarily afford fancy things when she was younger to get a bursary to rosewood where she would (i assume) be getting very fancy free food available 24/7, and then on top get a job where not only would she be getting paid, but she would also have all travel, clothes and non term time food just arranged for her?? that’s huge- like she essentially would never have to pay for anything essential, and would be able to buy other things she wanted too

“‘when you inevitable have to tell everyone that you’re, in fact, not the princess of Maradova’” let me just cry now thinking about how that happens

“‘we have to promise no more secrets’” that aged badly

it makes me so sad that lottie immediately wants to impress jamie, her self esteem in book 1 in general makes me really sad. especially as someone who really relates to lottie, and since i’ve done a lot of work to improve my self esteem it just breaks my heart when her go to attitude is to impress others as if they’re all inherently better than her

onto part two!

ahhh the insomnia phase. weirdly enough this is one of my favourite parts of all the books. it just seems to capture the everyday life, making it feel really beautiful while showing us it’s not perfect. idk something about it gets me

ellie waking up extra early despite not being a morning person just to keep lottie company is one of the sweetest things she does in these books

oooh a big juicy bit of foreshadowing with claude

i love that lottie has such a childish wonder about her- even with everything that goes on in her life she still gets so excited about things and doesn’t deny her inner child joy (this is also one of the reasons i think she’s neurodivergent, not that this is indicative of a diagnosis, just a common trait)

okay i know we talk about it but we’re all still sleeping on japhael- “like Ellie, this was the first friend outside the Maravish family that Jamie had ever made.” i know friends can be friends, but to compare their friendship, to the very already romantically coded ‘friendship’ of ellie and lottie almost sets it up for us

lottie you should know better than to think jamie doesn’t know everything

‘little princess’ this nickname makes me very emotional every time

hehehe october time, i love autumnal descriptions in books

PUMPKIN BREAD AND WHITE MOCHA omg the library cafe snacks sound the best i have to make this at some point (fun fact if you don’t know me- i love baking, and cinnamon, and autumn and i’m rambling okay don’t ever get me started on autumnal snacks if you want me to be quiet)

nonononono not the ellie saskia crush pls no it’s almost worse to me than chapter 16 i hate it

ani so hates the ellie saskia thing as well, i’m with you ani, keep being a hater

princess and the pea- boom- ani understands lottie so well - she loves a fairytale themed hint

“‘Lottie, why didn’t you tell me?’” how’s the no secrets going for you lottie

ugh i hate that saskia tutors lottie but at the same time i adore it bc i love saskia

actually i wanna ramble about saskia. she’s one of my favourite characters, and i love her so much, but the way she acts at the start of book 1??? flirting with another girl right in front of her girlfriend?? come on. i know they’re having their issues, but her whole thing is she’ll do anything for ani, except clearly not flirt with other girls. maybe im being a bit harsh, she’s only 15, but if you’re old enough to be in a terrorist organisation, you’re old enough to not flirt with other people when you’re in a monogamous relationship

[jellyfishcherryblossoms]

i just genuinely feel like i am the stupidest person in my math class like it makes no sense so we can do reviews or whatever and like a little practice assignment before we do our test at the end of day we have one everyday and almost everyday i’ve been in her class i’ve failed this end of the day test. these review assignments are not graded and we have a couple other things like think about it’s you know just early morning questions but instead of it being a stupid question like in other classes like “what is your favorite color” it’s a math question she grades for completion i think? also you have to get to school at a certain time or you can’t do it she locks them every morning and doesn’t allow redos. im failing like shit and i’m worried idk if the class is a requirement but also i just feel so fucking stupid i have never felt so dumb in my life everybody is seeming to do well and i hear people talking about how easy certain things are but im literally failing im so tired of this shit idk how much longer i can keep showing up it seems like it’s no point because no matter what im going to fail that stupid fucking test it’s doing bad things to my mental health i feel like a idiot and a failure but today i felt good, i was understanding the topics even helped her when we went over the review and walked her through a problem come to the end of class test i get a fucking 8/20 this is so ridiculous i thought i was doing so well too!!! if anybody has any kind words or advice i’d really appreciate it thank you for listening to my ted talk

[whippedandcreamyy]

Still waiting for my answers 🥹🥹

Omg I’m so sorry 😂 I was a little busy doing side blog things lol hold on

1:When did you lose your virginity? 19

2: Rough sex or soft sex? both

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? i wouldn't say anything is unusual. They seem pretty normal to me

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? i dont think ive had sex in a weird place. Is my exes abandoned house weird?

5: Favourite sex position? i like being on my knees..?

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? both

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? nope

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? bed or couch

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? yes i have

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? no i haven't

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? they dont look sexy but they make me feel sexy because my lil booty looks cute in them :) they're blue and have stripes on them. im not sure what type they are tho

12: How often do you have sex? hmmm depends on my mood and my husbands.

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? yes lol

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? i like both but giving is soooooo much fun

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? i don think i want to share this 😅😂

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? idk i need to make a sex playlist lol

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? same answer as above. nothings coming to mind rn

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? never done it before but im not opposed to it

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? i think both of them are dangerous lol but shower sex looks hot

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? my husband

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? i haven't and i don't think i will...at least for a very long time

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? i do use them

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? yeah? lol

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? been there done that never again

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) clean up, eat something maybe and cuddle

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? kissing my neck, or my ears. teasing me.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?anytime sex?

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? hands, arms, necks, chest, shoulders. all of that

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? boobies :) but nah everything

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find i wouldnt want my family or friends finding my toys lol. Thats about it

hope you're happy anon 🫶🏽

[hecksupremechips]

Ive referenced this tale a few times but I think because it’s easter Saturday and I’m a fed up little shit this year, it’s time I tell the story of THE easter saturday

So to establish a few things to anyone who wasn’t raised as a damn catholic, easter saturday mass is kinda infamous for just being the worst. First off, it often starts later, like at 8. Secondly, it lasts forever. Normal mass will have a reading from the bible, a responsorial psalm, and then a second reading. This mass has 7 readings and yes, there is a responsorial psalm between each of them. If you’re lucky, the priest will decide to only do like 3 readings and then just move on. And the last few things about easter saturday mass is that for the part with all the readings, all the lights are out and everyone has to hold a candle. Symbolizes some shit about everyone being lost without jesus or some shit idk. And there’s a part after communion where anyone who wants to be confirmed into the catholic church can do so

Most people don’t go to easter saturday mass because really why would you, but around the time I was a teenager my family always went on saturday instead of sunday just cuz we didn’t wanna get up early and also cuz easter sunday is like the biggest day of the year and it’s crowded as absolute fuck it’s awful. And I mean, we never really had to deal with too much bullshit cuz the priest cut down the readings and often didn’t even bother playing music cuz no one wanted to be there lol. It was a pretty good deal

Enter THE easter saturday. I believe I was 17 and I still had to go to church but I was very much not having it anymore lol. And we were gonna do the usual late mass but a little special curveball came along. My sisters ex boyfriend, let’s call him Gary, decided he wanted to become catholic. Why. And when you get confirmed you need a confirmation sponsor, aka someone who’s already been confirmed, to be there with you. And he asked my sister to do it. Which is pretty weird cuz they had this complicated on again off again relationship but like, I’m pretty damn sure they weren’t dating at the time??? Why the fuck would you ask your ex girlfriend to be your fucking CONFIRMATION SPONSOR of all things that’s so bizarre lol

What’s even more bizarre is the fact that my parents decided to show up to support him. Gary was the ideal guy, good country boy, good ball player, with a good head on his shoulders. They definitely loved him more than my sister did and like still to this day talk about him all the time even though both him and my sister have moved on 😟. So fine okay this is what we’re doing, we were gonna go to stupid easter saturday mass anyways, we may as well support Gary in this catholic journey shit because we’re obsessed with him I guess. Whatever. But to make things EVEN WEIRDER, my fucking GRANDMA decides to come too. To support my sisters ex boyfriend. Because she thinks he’s the greatest guy since sliced bread and because she’s a hardcore catholic who loses her shit over new members of the church. So fucking. It’s me, my parents, and my grandma driving an hour and a half to the city to see this guy get confirmed. At least we won’t have to go to church in the morning

So we get there to this honestly very beautiful church like it’s one of those really old big city churches with massive stained glass windows and like 8 sets of pews and columns and shit. We meet up with Gary’s family, theres like 7 of them and none are catholic btw so they had no idea what to expect from this experience. Oh how I wish I could’ve saved them. We all try to sit together in one pew for some reason and it’s like very crowded and we have no room, something that was very unnecessary cuz we were literally in an almost completely empty church. Before the mass even starts, I’m getting lightheaded and sweating bullets from how cramped everything is, and cuz I was wearing "fancy clothes" aka a pink sweater and black joggers covered in lint cuz I was having an identity crisis and this was my fashion taste lol. I obviously didn’t wanna be there was just a lot of hostility towards me from everyone cuz I’m. You know. A fairy 🙊 and a bitch lol. So I feel a meltdown coming and I’m literally crying so I go to sit in this tiny pew kinda in the shadows where no one can see me. My dad joins in too so we’re just in this private spot away from the families

Then the mass finally starts. We go outside and get our candles lit in a big fire and sing a damn song and go to sit down in the pitch black church. We have the typical intro and. Then. This fucking like 25 year old altar boy gives a basic summary of the events of easter. We all know the hell out of them, we don’t need a reminder, but we get one anyway. This should’ve been like a reading that maybe lasted 2 minutes maximum. But no, no, Catholics don’t want you to have it easy and short. You came to easter saturday mass, and Buddy, you’re getting that goddamn easter saturday mass

This man. Sang, the entire summary. In that awkward chanty singing style that priests do sometimes. And it lasted, according to my watch, for 20 minutes. 20 minutes of this guy in this pitch black church with his face ominously illuminated by the candle he’s holding in his shaking hand just. Singing on the fly. The entire church is completely quiet the entire time and to make it worse he kinda just kept repeating the same point over and over he was like THIS IS THE NIIIIIGHT OHHHHH HOOOOOLYYYY NIGHT WHERE JEEEEESSUUUUUSSS DIIIEEED OHHHHHHH HE IS THE SON OF GOD, WHO IS ALSOOOOO CHRIST AND HIS NAME IS JESUUUUSSS CHRIST. I’m not even exaggerating here good god I wish I was. It was that bad. I was kinda just in that zoned out trance you enter whenever you’re at a church and you’re bored to death but at like the 10 minute mark I realized this man was STILL GOING and I just. I fucking lost it I couldn’t breathe I was very thankful the lights were out cuz I was absolutely dying. Even my dad, who’s so insanely catholic it’s creepy, started playing on his phone in the middle of it. And we had to sit there. And this was the BEGINNING, we still had god knows how long left of this thing

Finally, the altar boy stops singing and then probably went to go drown himself afterwards because how the fuck to you come back from that. The infamous readings start and ofc they do all 7 of them, why wouldn’t they. And the psalms in between were like 10 verses each and they of course sang every single one. And it was like some poor college kid who just looooves jesus so much singing and she. Couldnt sing for shit. And there was like piano and idk, a tambourine probably. I blacked out halfway through and just accepted that I was actually just gonna die in this church, I’d never ever escape. This is my life for the rest of time

And we couldn’t just leave is the thing. Not just cuz my family is so toxically devout, but cuz the one thing we were here for still had yet to happen. The fucking confirmation. How long did we have to wait before we got there? 2 and a half hours. And do you know how long it took? Less than 10 minutes. All for this stupid Gary, stupid fucking Gary who decided he just HAD to be catholic, we waited just for him. His poor family showed up for him, there were children man. Like, hyper, preschool aged children who had to sit through that. And then at 3 hours it finally ended and I just. Couldnt feel anything anymore. I looked at these people and I just wanted them all to feel the pain of a thousand deaths for making me sit through that shit. I literally suffered more than Jesus Christ

Gary, I hate you. You are nothing. You’re gonna love being catholic you stupid stupid shit stain

[shadowsong26x]

And here we are with BSG mix 3 of 3 from Ye Olde Days of like 2010-2012 XD Previously I’ve talked about my Season Three mix, Days Upon Our Knees and my Cylon ship mix, Heart of the Machine.

This one is a Baltar/Six mix; generally focusing on Head!Six and Caprica. I did remember a couple of the tracks going in (one because it was an actual Bad Choice--the only one on all three of these mixes that I don’t think should be there at all--and a couple that were good ones. But a lot of it I hadn’t remembered, so it was nice to go through it!

Also, at the end of the Actual List of 14 tracks, there’s a list of songs I’d include now if I were making it (and/or I’m Considering making another one and most if not all of them would be on it.)

All right, let’s get to it!

1/touch (clay aiken)      ah, this one. i can’t say it doesn’t fit them (because it does), but it’s. uh. this was my song for ‘yes these two have a lot of enthusiastic sex’ and i definitely could’ve done better here XD that being said, i do like it for them? the angel references are always a bonus.

2/voodoo child (rogue traders)      i actually think this is one of the better fits on this mix. and yes, like many people in general fandom/online circles at the time, i picked it up from that one doctor who episode But it’s now...way more associated with these two (specifically caprica’s confession/the attack) than that. there was also something of a fanvid in my head (i was never able to make fanvids lol), and i particularly remember that the transition from the first verse into the chorus lined up with that One Specific Shot of her pushing him down as the house explodes around them. so there it is.

3/i’ll be seeing you (linda eder)      i mean. how could i not, lol (this was the first version i had; i was given a whole album of her broadway covers. also i always forget that this song technically comes from a broadway show....and yes, i am aware that it’s also on the s3 mix in a completely different context but Still.)

4/devil inside (inxs)      i think this actually should’ve been before track two, and i’m not sure why it’s here instead? but yeah it’s that reminder of ‘look i love these two they are 10000% my blorbos but they are. not great people’

5/gone with the wind (international victim)      another song that i still like for them, but this one i think is too early in the mix. i mean, we’re not...super chronological here, for this middle part of the mix, but this lines up with gaius in the back half of s3, so having it This Early in the mix feels off to me now.

6/protege-moi (placebo)      so i also use this song for anakin skywalker XD and while i actually don’t think gaius makes the best parallel there (that would be my best beloved athena), the song fits both of them so here we are. it’s definitely not one that developed Such a strong association Elsewhere that it ruined it for anything else, anyway.

7/liken a razor (adam pascal)      this one’s more about head!six, i think. it’s not my favorite on the mix, but i can’t say it doesn’t work/doesn’t belong. it hits that combination of fear and need/worship pretty well.

8/she’s always a woman (billy joel)      the first of two songs that can best be summed up with ‘i love you despite the warning signs.’ XD this one, again, mostly about head!six, but also kind of about caprica in the sense that...while they were together, the first time they were together, she actively planned to murder him and not just everyone he ever loved, but everyone he ever knew or could have known, using him to do it, and yet he can’t help remembering the way she smiled, the way they argued about idk obscure math theorems, spending lazy mornings in bed with her talking about everything and nothing...yep. yep yep yep. ((there will be more on this subject in either this month’s or (more likely) april’s fill for the otp meme))

9/he’s a tramp (lady and the tramp)      i really don’t have much to say about this one except...like...can you really say it shouldn’t be here XD (and yes, this is the second ‘i love you despite the warning signs’ pick.)

10/not me (aida)      a transition song, starting to come back from their estrangement. the more i listen to it, the more i like it here? although again, slightly out of order; it would need to be switched with the next one except...

11/antebellum (vienna teng)      this is the Mistake Track. and not just because this song is now Inextricably linked with satine and bo-katan kryze (but their relationship is not the subject of this essay, lol). but i think even before i got back into star wars/clone wars, i was having second thoughts about this one. the problem is, this song was supposed to be during their separation. when it’s not like they don’t love each other anymore (they never really stopped; witness how caprica continues to respond to head!baltar), but after everything that happened--with new caprica, with d’anna, with...just...everything...does that really matter anymore? and it’s really fucking hard to find a breakup song that hits right for the two of them. most of them are too angry or too bleak, or not angry or bleak for the right versions. antebellum comes close, because it’s a ‘what was and could have been but will never be again’ sort of thing but...it just. doesn’t work. i did not transfer it to my ipod with the rest of the mix, and while i do want a song for that particular part of their story...the mix as a whole does work without it.

12/casanova’s waltz (drew sarich)      and once again, i cheated in terms of my ‘don’t repeat artists’ rule. XD but i do like this song in terms of him choosing to dedicate himself entirely to their relationship, even after everything. ...and being a dramatic little shit about it, naturally XD

13/save the best for last (a capella/vanessa williams)      and this is her taking him back. the version i have is an unsourced a capella version i got on a cd a member of my high school shakespeare troupe gave all of us when he graduated a year before i did, so...who the hell knows, i just have it marked as ‘a capella.’ but yeah, i like it, it fits things here, and there’s that sense of ‘finally we’re on the same page for the first time in our Entire Relationship, we can move forward together now.’

14/i believe (altar boyz)      i love this song. and i love it for them. i wrote a quick fic a while back (that really needed to be two), but it’s about the way the two of them come together, they work together, because love, their love, is about choosing one another and forgiving one another, and, well, believing in one another. it’s just. a good place to leave them, a great song for where they landed. also iirc it’s Not Weird because in context this song is in fact about the band itself/Each Other. not jesus

And now, some additional songs I’d probably put on a playlist for them if I was making one now. If the prior mix skewed more Baltar’s POV outside of the shared-POV songs, I think this one skews more Caprica (or at least I tried). There’s also a lot less Head!Six.

This is not what I would call a Complete mix. There’s some redundancy in terms of moments/aspects of their relationship that are covered, and there are other gaps involved (in particular, I don’t have anything with even Vague Pretentions to being a Sex Song like ‘Touch’ was for the prior list). Also I feel like it’s not super balanced in terms of Tone. But it’s a starting point, anyway. Accordingly, these aren’t numbered and the order, while vaguely chronological, is by no means set in stone.

what am i feeling/galavant      played Completely Straight in a Very Different Way than the original context; this is caprica starting to realize that she’s falling for her own honey trap.

if i loved you/carousel      this is basically the ‘the things men do for love’ scene (or her asking ‘do you love me’ in the miniseries). they’ve each independently realized they love the other (though not that it’s mutual) but Saying That Out Loud Lol No Why Would I Do That (would it necessarily be this cover? no, this was just the first that came up on youtube, lol. but also it’s hard to go wrong with these two singers sooooo maybe XD)

your love is my drug/ke$ha      tell me i’m wrong XD (this might not go on a baltar/six mix Specifically, if only because i had vague plans at one point for doing a six mix of Entirely Ke$ha Songs, one for each notable six, in part because of this Perfect Fit, and in part because applying ‘blow’ to corinne/armistice station!six is just So Perfectly Terrible i couldn’t resist XD)

blonde over blue/billy joel      this probably would’ve made the first list if it weren’t redundant in terms of both the point it’s making (which is covered by...a couple of different ones) and artist, but...yep.

bad romance/lady gaga      again, tell me i’m wrong. this one, the ‘you’re a criminal as long as you’re mine’ line hits particularly hard for these two. also is it just me or are Some of the ways she’s styled in this video kind of...Hitting Some Familiar Visual Notes........

my immortal/evanescence      okay but hear me out XD like, yes, this song is Notoriously Cringe but a) i have no shame at this point in my fandom career and b) these two--when they’re together--have this blend of Melodrama and Painfully Awkward Sincerity and there is no band (or song) which hits that note quite as well as this one. also the lyrics actually fit pretty well if you pay attention to them so shut up, don’t at me, it’s on the list.

silent symphony/drew sarich      this one is about their first reunion, on new caprica, and there’s...a lot of Thoughts i have about that, about how the love is there and it is real, but with Everything Else going on it’s just...there’s a level of Desperation going on, too. and i haven’t been putting full lyric transcriptions in these summaries (because they’re long enough without them lol) but a couple lines stand out: ‘thank god for the night/pushing the complications from sight/hushing our battle drums til the sunlight/tosses a problem from every direction’; ‘you still see a man who knows wrong from his right’; ‘come on and quiet down/and wrap your arms around me/calmly for now’; ‘if i can’t see your eyes/then i can hear you breathe/and we can find a warm, firm platform to plan from’

how to save a life/grey’s anatomy cast      look this is the version i heard in full first and i like it so shut up and bear with me. anyway, this is a companion to the last one, because it’s about the way he pulls away from her, and the way she tries for as long as she can, and their relationship just falls apart during the first half of season 3, even when they’re trying Desperately to make it work. again, not doing the full lyrics, but the end of the first verse in particular jumps out at me: ‘between the lines of fear and blame/you begin to wonder why you came.’

model prisoner/adam pascal     i thought of this when i was writing up ‘liken a razor’ above. i almost didn’t add it, mostly because a) trying to focus more on caprica’s pov; and b) trying to make it more her and less head!six and the second verse is particularly head!six, but...it works. and adds a different Tone Color to the mix, i think, which is Useful/Helpful. i don’t know why i went for liken a razor instead of this one on the first mix, since at least now i think this is a better fit, but here we are.

style/taylor swift      this is actually the song that got me contemplating doing a second mix for these two, way back before i even tracked down the original one and listened to it all the way through again. i was listening to it and it had kind of the right Vibe, and then i got to the second verse. stopped. backtracked to the beginning, and went, ‘well, shit.’ and i kind of like this as a closing track. it kind of fits the same moment/hits the same note as ‘save the best for last,’ except...not exactly. it couldn’t go any earlier than their final reconciliation, though. but it also feels a little...lackluster, almost? for their happy ending. i feel like i want to end on a more optimistic note.

make our garden grow/candide      so this one is a Hard Maybe, and only made this post when i was realizing that ‘style’ doesn’t quite hit the note i want for an Ending song. this song was actually the closer for my hypothetical s4 mix--but it does mooooostly seem to focus on these two so maybe this would be a better place? (no, cunegonde’s verse doesn’t really fit in either case but the first and third do) and even if the lyrics are no more optimistic than style, the Tone of the song is a little better...although now i’m second-guessing it even more, lol. well, i’ll leave it here for y’all to have Opinions about if you so choose XD

and also i’d throw a different cover of ‘i’ll be seeing you’ on there (and possibly title the mix I’ll Be Seeing You (Again) because well i think i’m funny) because Come On.

[loplainlointhemorning]

& idk, I’ve healed in the sense that when it comes to thinking about the myriad of unconquerable hurts that I’ve collected over the years I’ve just decided that my specialness is so quiet and soft that people don’t really understand it. like I could call myself boring and say I hate myself and I wish I were more boisterous and interesting but i really don’t. my radiance is kinda like sunshine in the early morning, and it gets abt as hot as noon, but never more than that. i think im captivated by people who r the essence of burning out quick & fading away bc im just like…..like to appreciate me u have to observe me. the image I project with my clothes & my hair & my makeup isn’t rlly wht I am, intentionally. i think I’m the kind of shit you don’t notice when ur in it feeling good, but when it disappears u wanna throw up. like the sun setting at 8 PM. & idk, i like that about me.

[princessjules510]

Okay so no one sought out my desperation in my last post but that’s fine. I’ll reblog it after this so you guys (nonexistent people) can catch up but the gist is that my bsf of five years hasn’t been very communicative w me abt making plans but she’s able to make plans w this other person who I’ve expressed my dislike to her. Anyways A LOT HAPPENED SO BUCKLE UP.

So over the summer we have texted periodically and she texted me one night saying she had to tell me something. I had been asleep so when I read the message in the morning I was freaking out cause I was like omg this is the most I’ve gotten out of her. For once she’s texting me first. So ofc I start spamming her, wondering what it is. And she texts later saying she’s in a relationship. I am in shock. This is the last thing I would expect for her to say. Idk I guess it’s just surreal when you both complain abt how you want partners and then once one of you has one it’s like… hello? The complaints were a joke??

But anyways, I’m like omg who is it, have you kissed yet, what was the first date like, HAVE YOU DONE THE DEED?? She didn’t answer any of those questions and just laughed. But ig I didn’t care abt those answers bc she tells me THAT I KNOW THEM. So I’m confused cause we’ve talked abt how much we hate everyone at school (I’m still in high school) and that we would never date anyone there. As I’m thinking, one moment pops into my head. The person that I don’t like jokingly but not really admitted to having feelings for my friend, so I was like no. Like, it can’t be.

So I’m like, “is it ___?” And she starts laughing, avoiding the question. And I know I have my answer. Now I’m in even more shock cause what???? Like you never expressed any kind of romantic feelings towards them. What is going on. Did fucking he’ll freeze over? So now I’m a little pissed cause like, out of every person at school? Them? Really? And I’ll admit I was kind of a dick. I only responded w “ok” and left it at that. But the next day I apologized and told her I was happy for her and that she was in a relationship now cause what the fuck. Life isn’t real atm.

So after all of that a couple weeks later I wanted to be able to hangout w her before school started. I asked her if she was free that weekend and she said yes. I told her a DATE AND TIME and she CONFIRMED SHE WAS AVAILABLE. Of-fucking-course the day of she’s like “oh I forgot to tell you that my dad wants to take me to Worlds of Fun tonight” and I was like oh okay that’s fine cause night isn’t until like 8 so we have plenty of time. And she was like “oh not night sorry I meant around 2 or 3.” 2 OR 3?? GIRL WHAT. HOW DO YOU THINK OF 2 IN THE AFTERNOON AND SAY “oh that’s night definitely.” Like sis… look outside.

SO LIKE A GOOD FUCKING FRIEND I WORK AROUND IT. I was like “that’s fine you can come over early like 11.” AND THE BITCH SAYS “my dad wants to make me breakfast in the morning.”

…

What. The. Fuck.

Breakfast. In the morning.

IS THIS YOIR DADS LAST DAY ALIVE OR SOMETHING? DOES HE NOT KNOW THAT HE COULD LITERALLY MAKE BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING OR HELL AT A DIFFERENT TIME IN THE DAY??? IVE HAD BREAKFAST FOR DINNER AND LET ME TELL YOU THERES NO DIFFERENT FEELING. Oh my god just relaying the info is making me livid.

I forgot to mention that the day before I was hanging out w another friend who’s also friends w my bsf. And she was talking abt how she kept texting her if she was free and how my bsf said she’ll “check her schedule” and then she never responds. Ig I should be grateful that she’s even telling me that she isn’t available rather than just ghosting me. Anyways, my other friend was also talking to me abt how she sees my bsf and the person I don’t like hanging out on their BeReal’s.

That set me off.

I was like how the fuck are you gonna say to me that you can’t hangout when YOU ARE HANGING OUT W A PERSON I DONT LIKE? And I understand. You want to be as close to your partner as you can be. You just got together. You’re being all lovey dovey. I would prob do the same thing too. But it’s the fact that she’s able to make time for THEM BUT NOT ME. And after she texted me abt how she couldn’t hangout THE DAY OF, she was talking abt how she’s trying to make things work and shit. Like after everything you got away w, I don’t believe anything you’re saying.

Me and my mom are like besties. So obviously she knows everything and she was like “you need to talk to her face to face” cause my mom caught me crying abt the situation. I was just excited to finally see her and then she pulls this shit, ofc I’m gonna be upset. Plus I was on my period so that didn’t help. But I was like you’re right and so I wrote some talking points down (if you haven’t done that before a confrontation or serious talk I recommend bc it’s very helpful) and texted her that we needed to talk. And she was like abt what and I was like our friendship and then she was like r we good and I was abt to say no we aren’t fucking good but I didn’t and said yeah.

So we were supposed to have dinner after practice (we’re both on the tennis team and GUESS WHO GOT ME TO PLAY: FUCKING HER) TODAY and I hadn’t heard anything from her so I asked before practice started if we were still going to dinner and she was like I couldn’t take off work. So that ruined my day and I literally did not want to look at her, speak to her, nothing.

Now, idk what to do. Because if I try to find another day where she’s free it’s just gonna drag it out longer to the point where it won’t even matter anymore. Part of me wants her to know how she’s made me feel. She really hurt my feelings on Saturday and I want her to know that. But at the same time, I’ve tried reaching out and trying to fix things, but she just won’t meet me halfway. I’m thinking that maybe she should be demoted to friend at school. I’m done wasting my time trying to hangout when I could be hanging out w other friends who are MORE THAN HAPPY to do stuff w me.

Lmk your guys’ thoughts cause I would like more input :)

[imnotactuallygoingtousethis]

So, Sunday was meant to be my first pride fest since “officially” coming out

(in reality I just settled on some labels that work decent enough, I’ve long held that I felt like a part of the queer community but had been told for years I was wrong and look at me cmon of course I’m cishet. The only thing that changed is I stopped letting other people have a say in how I see myself)

Since I’ve always been so averse to labeling myself and have been open about myself for so long maybe she didn’t think it was a big deal. Maybe I’ve been so content I never brought up that I’d “officially come out”. Idk I’m trying to hold space for the possibility it was a misunderstanding. But it fucking hurt when she cancelled AFTER we were supposed to be there already.

I asked her and my sibling if they’d come with me (I’m too scared to go alone, not because of bigots, just social phobia) months in advance.

I gave warnings two weeks and one week in advance. Tried to start planning transport days in advance cuz I knew we were all bad at texting quickly. She even kept tabs on the weather so I thought we were fine. We knew it might rain but I said if it did they should both come over to my place and we can celebrate anyway. I tried… I really, really tried. Sent a book in texts trying to coordinate the night before, no response.

Got up early the morning of, excited. Tried to keep busy, did laundry, dishes, started getting dressed. I bought trans tape for the event and wasted a lot of it figuring how to apply it lol. It was cool seeing myself mostly flat chested, just a lil bit of boobage. Ever since I was a kid I wanted “chick boobs”, just enough to be a boob but with my pecs on full display. I was trying to hold wait to express the excitement and gender euphoria. I wanted to wait until it was closer to leave before I did sunscreen and glitter though.

So I waited. I’d sent another text at 7 am so I was waiting for a confirmation from either person that noon was a good time to head out, or where we wanted to meet (I’d asked a week ago, no response). And I kept waiting, at 11:30-45 or so I fell into a brief nap.

At like, 1:30 I woke up to a text from my sister timestamped around 12:30 saying she’d leave in an hour. (Um leave to where? I’d suggested meeting at ur place and no one responded?!) and a couple texts from my friend explaining that her and her partner were going over finances to buy a house and so she could not go with. She waited until after my sibling texted and then flaked immediately.

If she was up since 8 she def saw my text from 7. I don’t get why she wouldn’t have let me know asap. Or honestly, I don’t get why she wouldn’t have told her boyfriend that the financial shit needed to wait for a day. I tried to make sure everyone had plenty of time to schedule around our plans.

In fact- I KNOW I left enough time for them to schedule around it. The sister asks if I still wanted to go, but at that point it was 2 and it would have taken practically an hour to get there and park; I was too dejected to leave my apartment anyway so I said no. She said she’d try to stop by but never did.

I want to be nice to them because of all the space for misunderstanding, so I’m writing this instead. Maybe I’ll share my hurt with my sib and my best friend, one day. But for now I just need to let it be known how distraught I feel. How abandoned and unimportant I felt slowly removing the tape from my chest in the mirror, watching myself blink back tears in part of the outfit I’d picked out hours before my plans were canceled.

My last pride was my sister’s first since she’d come out as bi. I was excited to help her have their moment. Helped apply flag themed eyeshadow and got my anxious, crowd-averse ass out the door to make sure she wouldn’t be alone. Am I selfish for wanting someone to do the same for me?

I deserve my first pride. I’m not waiting a whole year. I’m having my own little pride this friday hopefully. I wanna do it while it’s still June otherwise I’d do it on Monday before my weekend. Me myself and I will be having an awesome lil personal pride celebration; complete with any rainbow snacks I can find and some fruity drinks. My boyfriend will probably throw more Will and Grace on, and I can wallow with the one person who’s always there for me.

[moonmoonloves]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 (or whatever) TAGS

I was tagged by @poebin

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYBODY?

Yes actually, and it’s an interesting one. One of my mom’s friends had to be put in the witness protection program and she liked their new name. Actually now that I think about it, I question the validity of this story, if they were actually in the program my mom shouldn’t know, right? Idk.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

This morning. I’m a very easy crier. I cry everyday.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Yes, one.

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

I don’t think so? I tend to be very literal. I will use it to be obnoxious/funny to my spouse.

5. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

None.

6. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE?

Um, I have a hard time socially. I tend to glance at people instead of look directly at them, so usually whether or not they speak to people kindly, like I’m determining potential threat levels lol, yay trauma.

7. EYE COLOUR?

Brown. None of that pots of honey bs either, mine are dull and usually bloodshot.

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Happy endings always.

9. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS?

Uhh, I guess just general hyper focus. Especially with arts and crafts. I pick up new artsy things pretty quickly and can do them moderately well before moving on to another. Oh wait actually! GIFT GIVING. I have been told I give the best gifts. I often make people cry. Sometimes I make people uncomfortable because apparently not everyone wants someone’s focus on them like that. Also, sometimes people feel obligated to reciprocate and feel bad when they think they can’t. Their joy is my joy though <3

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Alaska.

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Reading fic would have to be number one. Cooking/baking which was really a hyperfixation I had like 8 years ago but my family enjoys it so much I’m stuck with it. Artsy things sometimes I guess. Idk.

12. DO YOU HAVE PETS?

Yes, two cats: the best boy ever, and the most jealous snuggly bitch. I love them both so much <33

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'1". Tall shelves, what secrets are you hiding? <stolen from poebin minus an inch, but seriously, what are you hiding? Sometimes I can’t see even on a chair.

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

English and Art. I majored in Fine Art but didn’t finish. For some reason I chose Photography as my specialty, but I had to drop out pretty early on, so I never got very good at it. I liked the dark room, I was better at printing than I was at actually taking the pictures.

15. DREAM JOB?

I currently have the great privilege of being a stay at home parent. I wish I was better at that job. It’s the first job I’ve ever had where I felt like I wasn’t great at it. I know I’m not the worst, but I know I’m not the best either. We’re both neurodivergent and we have our fair share of struggles. Being a better parent aside I think it would be nice to make some money doing art. I’m indigenous american so something in that area would make my heart happy.