#idk if this sounds stupid but yeah this is what I think
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if star made pornstar by nessa barett do u think chris could’ve been fucking the shit out of her in the studio and that’s how she got the moans in the bridge 🤭🤭 or she could tell chris that’s the vibe she’s going for and he immediately suggests that he does that? IDK IF IM BEING CRAZY BUT THAT WOULD MAKE SUCH A HOG PROMPTTTTTTT AUGGHH
⋆.˚✮ rapper!chris helps singer!reader put her moans in her song
it’s after midnight in the studio, and your legs are tucked up on the worn leather couch while chris leans over the soundboard, head bobbing slightly to the beat looping through the speakers.
you can’t help but smile watching him—always so in his element. it makes your heart beat faster sometimes, just how effortlessly confident he is.
you clear your throat, heart thudding just a little. "chris?"
he looks up, a grin already on his lips. "what's good, kid?"
you toy with the hem of your oversized sweatshirt, cheeks heating up even though it's just him. "remember the song i've been working on for the album? pornstar?"
his brows lift, and that grin of his turns wicked. "yeah, i do. what’s on your pretty lil’ mind, huh?"
your stomach flips, but you press on. "i kinda wanna put, like, my moans in it. like, not in a gross way. just, y’know, artistic and stuff."
there’s a beat of silence before he laughs—low, rich, and full of mischief. "yo, you wild f'that." he steps closer, resting a hand on the back of the couch right next to your shoulder. "but i'm not gon’ lie...sounds fire. you tryna break the internet or what?"
you laugh nervously, covering your face. "stop! i’m serious."
he pulls your hand down gently, locking eyes with you. "m'serious too. but lemme guess—ain’t tryna jus' fake that, huh?"
"no..." you mumble, feeling stupid but oddly excited.
he tilts his head, smirking like he’s already got the answer. "bet. we can make this reealll easy, ma."
you blink up at him. "what do you mean?"
he leans in, voice dropping low and playful. "we record your moans live. like... i make you moan right here in the booth. get authentic wit' it, y’feel me?"
your jaw drops. "chris!"
"c'mon," he grins, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you close. "i know you wanna."
chris proves you right just moments later when you're perched in his lap on a desk chair, panties pulled to the side as you feel him filling your puffy pussy, riding him at a comfortable pace, mewling softly.
one of chris' hands are kneading the flesh of your ass, looking up at you with a smirk as he breathes heavily, the other holding a microphone up to your parted lips.
your hazy eyes flit down to his face with your brows furrowed in pleasure, the smirk on his lips sending a pleasure wave through you as you let out another soft moan.
he nods up at you, snickering breathily, "keep goin', you sound so pretty," he whispers.
chris' tip brushes against your cervix deliciously with every bounce of your hips, causing you to let out airier moans into the mic, your eyes rolling back as your fingers curl around his shirt for leverage.
he hums in awe up at you, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as he squeezes the flesh of your ass, "mhmm, look at you," he coos quietly, lidded eyes burning into yours. "ridin' my cock like such a good girl, wanna go faster f'me? hm?"
you nod your head, swallowing hard as you pant softly into the mic. you adjust your position on his dick before bouncing your hips harder and faster, eliciting a loud whine into the mic and a low grunt from chris as his fingers sink into your skin.
"theeeere you go, that's my fuckin' girl, jus' like that, baby, keep ridin' jus' like that," he purrs quietly, hissing in pleasure as his eyes flutter close, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip when he feels you take him into your tight warmth deeper.
"m-mmph...a-ah...ah," you moan into the mic, your eyes rolling back as your jaw falls open, drool seeping past your lips, the delicious feeling of him stretching you going straight to your tummy, a knot forming in it.
your walls tighten around him hard, causing chris to groan deeply, letting you both know how close you are. "c'mon, take this dick, baby, cum all over it too, wanna feel that shit," he grunts quietly, looking up at you with lidded eyes.
the knot tightens in your tummy, your thighs beginning to shake as your noises become more high pitched into the mic, your pace on his cock growing sloppier and erratic. "o-oh god...a-ah.."
"mm, c'mon," chris mumbles, his chest heaving up and down as he feels his balls tightening as he gets close. "you so close, just cum f'me, mama."
the knot snaps in your tummy, your hips stuttering as you let out a cry into the mic, your walls fluttering around chris' dick as your knuckles turn white at how hard you grip his shirt.
chris is pushed over the edge shortly after you, his eyes rolling back as he gasps, his hand holding the mic to your lips shaking slightly as his fingers sink into the flesh of your ass, thrusting his hips up into you to ride out his high.
"fuck," he grunts breathily, lowering the mic from your lips as his head falls back against the chair, his eyes closing. you wrap your arms around his neck, panting into his chest.
he chuckles breathily, his arm coming around your back to rub it beneath your sweatshirt, "damn, kid, you really gonna break the fuckin' internet wit' this shit. loud as hell."
thank you for reading!! <3
tags 🏷️: @sturnobsessedwh0re , @idrk2292 , @mattsbrat , @ribbonlovergirl , @matthewsroses , @mattsdemi , @emely9274 , @frankoceanfanpage , @ifwdominicfike , @marrykisskilled , @strnilolover , @cayleeuhithinknott , @forgottxen , @sophand4n4 , @sturnsrecord , @purpledragon222 , @faiyaz555 , @jocelyncsblog , @freakiolos , @slut4chris888 , @chriss-slutt , @ilovedanielcaesar , @annsx03 , @snoopychris , @chrissweetheart , @slutformatt17 , @mattsturnii , @dominicfikeenthusiast , @mattsbratt333 , @ivysturnss , @tessasturns , @coquettechris , @courta13 , @sturniolo101
@chrissturnsfav ™
#chrissturnsfav ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི#ᰔᩚ rapper!chris x singer!reader prompt#ᰔᩚ rapper!chris x singer!reader#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#chris sturniolo x you#sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fluff#sturniolo triplets x you
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Little Bit Of The Past
I was thinking, we never got the chance to know about Bullfrog's past. I mean he's the only one we know the least about; except he is an assassin, he is the last of them and he has some moral codes and apparently he knows a lot/ have experience about vengeance.
AND that he was used to watch Rayman as a kid. (And that he took part in a war. Okay I learned the war's name. The wasteland war.)
This gives us a waay more open space to fill in. And I can happily do that with my own headcanon. (I might add it in my fics too but not too sure lol, it's all up to you guys wanting me to add it or not)
So I first thought maybe he had a pretty normal life as a kid. Grew up in a family with a mom and dad. I also thought (because frogs literally give birth to so many babies) he has a lot of brothers and sisters?
Maybe Rayman when he was a kid (like most of the kids) was his favorite show.
I am going to make this post a bit quick so... One day some soldiers came and killed his parents and took his siblings and him prisoner. Some assassins rescued him and taught him their ways. He ignores it and goes to rescue his siblings but finds them all dead? And he wanted revenge so he finds the person did all this and killed him but it was nearly costing his life as his mentor saved him but he died in the process and he swears to never follow the path of vengeance ever again.
This was my take on why he doesn't like vengeance. That's all, thank you for reading! (Still not feeling like this is his entire past but this will do for now~ Btw I have no idea how he is the last assassin. I don't know if there is a canon part of this but if not I am gonna assume that they all died in that war and he is the only survivor. I believe this because when Pey'j died his reaction gave me the vibe maybe something similar happened in his past, because he looked so desperate and upset (yeah he was his friend even though he knew him a little it might be normal but still))
Also off topic but I don't believe he died (his bomb activated) in the end when Laserhawk pressed the button and activated his bomb. I dunno but I have a feeling that Bullfrog is now freed with the bracelet broken. (He is still held by Eden but still lol) But I am sure Sarah has some big plans for him. (Because he is seemingly the only one that still alive lol) And if someone is alive in a show this means something will happen XD I am also really unsure if Rayman/Ramon will be the one to save him but anyway.
#bullfrog#captain lazerhawk#captain lazerhawk spoilers#captain laserhawk#rayman#headcanon#senario#idk if this sounds stupid but yeah this is what I think#vengeance is not the way son
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I was thinking, we never got the chance to know about Bullfrog's past. I mean he's the only one we know the least about; except he is an assassin, he is the last of them and he has some moral codes and apparently he knows a lot/ have experience about vengeance.
AND that he was used to watch Rayman as a kid. (And that he took part in a war. Okay I learned the war's name. The wasteland war.)
This gives us a waay more open space to fill in. And I can happily do that with my own headcanon. (I might add it in my fics too but not too sure lol, it's all up to you guys wanting me to add it or not)
So I first thought maybe he had a pretty normal life as a kid. Grew up in a family with a mom and dad. I also thought (because frogs literally give birth to so many babies) he has a lot of brothers and sisters?
Maybe Rayman when he was a kid (like most of the kids) was his favorite show.
I am going to make this post a bit quick so... One day some soldiers came and killed his parents and took his siblings and him prisoner. Some assassins rescued him and taught him their ways. He ignores it and goes to rescue his siblings but finds them all dead? And he wanted revenge so he finds the person did all this and killed him but it was nearly costing his life as his mentor saved him but he died in the process and he swears to never follow the path of vengeance ever again.
This was my take on why he doesn't like vengeance. That's all, thank you for reading! (Still not feeling like this is his entire past but this will do for now~ Btw I have no idea how he is the last assassin. I don't know if there is a canon part of this but if not I am gonna assume that they all died in that war and he is the only survivor. I believe this because when Pey'j died his reaction gave me the vibe maybe something similar happened in his past, because he looked so desperate and upset (yeah he was his friend even though he knew him a little it might be normal but still))
Also off topic but I don't believe he died (his bomb activated) in the end when Laserhawk pressed the button and activated his bomb. I dunno but I have a feeling that Bullfrog is now freed with the bracelet broken. (He is still held by Eden but still lol) But I am sure Sarah has some big plans for him. (Because he is seemingly the only one that still alive lol) And if someone is alive in a show this means something will happen XD I am also really unsure if Rayman/Ramon will be the one to save him but anyway.
#bullfrog#captain lazerhawk#captain lazerhawk spoilers#captain laserhawk#rayman#headcanon#senario#idk if this sounds stupid but yeah this is what I think#vengeance is not the way son
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staff logging on to tumblr dot com today
#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site#changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too#this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus#if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear#if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine#the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money#someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont#tumblr staff#EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but#that doesnt stop the post from being stupid#the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase#if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything'#staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did#so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post#edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post#they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us#i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded#and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money#tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol#ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years#but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one
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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.
#simon says#to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb#you might not have done enough research#you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument#you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this#sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution#you do what you can to fight against the problem#you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem#and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem#like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue#but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face#they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you#and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing#sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that#i used this while talking with my Dad tonight#he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution#and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now#and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it#and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate#and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before#i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help#and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change#but all I really could do is the little things I have control over#and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over#like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet#which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue#and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best#so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment
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You know what has always seemed funny to me is that Mello has some kind of relation with fire (the explosion and then the fire in his death), and at the same time, his real name is the same one of the arcangel known for having a flaming sword (even tho never stated in the bible but he's represented with one in almost everywhere for interesting reasons but no one gives a shit about that)
which i totally think is a stretch of my part because based on platinum end, ohba's vision of religion is almost the equivalent to the opinion of a 15 yo edgy incel that likes reddit too much
but still funny to me. it's also funny considering the name literally means "who is like god?" because, technically speaking, michael will never be like god, he's the protector and fighter. his name is almost the statement "no one will be like god" which I think is funny considering that the one who tried to be like god was cast out to hell, like u know, the good-looking angel that in some depictions is actually a very manipulative entity that convinces some angels to get into his side and fight with him and was defeated by this said arcangel
that's very funny to me
#i could go on and go about this but yeah no. i do like a lot the meaning of his name and what represents#the atheism in platinum is so bad it almost made me go catholic again. it's a reddit atheism (“god is like santa claus”)#i really really like all the meanings and how you can play with mello's real name if you try hard enough and aim for the stars#near's too. if you do the same. and i WILL. putting the catholic knowledge in action.#alsoo it's so funny to me that in paradise lost (not bible canon but still very VERY really known) Michael is a lil bitch.#he's the one who casts adam and eve out of eden and he's like “MAYBE if SOMEONE hadn't eaten the FRUIT” which I think is very mello coded#he's like sad for them like two seconds and then he's like “lmao this happened because u're stupid” and points and laugh#technically not that but shush. he is still like “dude. adam. it's fine u can make ur life out of here..stop crying lmao”#it's like dante in the divine comedy when he's sad for people at first and then in like the third circle he's like “hahaha stupid”#“you're suffering? GOOD. this is what you get for being GAY. i dont give a shit your suffering. do you know what's happening in Florence?”#satan in paradise lost to the other angels is like “aren't you tired of being nice? don't you wanna go apeshit?”#“the other day saw god drinking the last of the milk and putting the carton back in the fridge :/ idk man doesn't sound too heavenly to me"
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i think my biggest character growth over the past 5-6 years? is being able to do this these days
#it still bothers me but im so much better at moving on & being happy with what i have than i used to be. based !#idk like it's easy to fall into a spiral of alienation like Ohh God... I don't feel this thing that Everyone Else Feels... I must be Broken#but idk. as time goes on i find it easier to focus on like. yes of course the friends that will still prioritize me#but also just Myself. like. It's like the more I think about it like Yeah sure it's alienating to not Fit In to a romance based society but#at the same time it's- not ''i don't think anyone could handle me'' because that sounds stupid as fuck and like I'm full of myself LOL#but like. Well nobody could ever really have the full context of who i Am as a person except for myself. so why am i beating myself up for#not being able to feel a certain way about people when i'm really the only person that can Fully get myself in the first place? when instea#i could just celebrate being myself and being on my own. Of course that's not perfect all the time#but it's a lot better than being 16 again like WHY AM I A FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN PERSON#idk maybe all i had to do was graduate college and get a job LMFAO that one tweet thats like#yea im probably aromantic but i have a job so idrc about that rn#talking
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Okay so ik it's a common thing for Dick to be triggered by fire and for it to be really upsetting to him for obvious reasons (esp since this is supported in canon). But I think it's equally fun if, bc of that trauma, Dick ends up developing a fascination with fire that he hates himself for
#felix (host)#dick grayson#dc comics#dc#...pyromania? idk i hesitate to say that bc idk much abt it#well i do. i do my research. but I'm very tired and don't wanna sound stupid fhchvhv#but anyways you get what i mean#bonus points if fire still upsets Dick but he's still morbidly fascinated by it#thinking about how Jason constantly blows shit up. along those lines basically LOL#actually how many times has Dick set shit on fire?#ive seen a handful of different times he has i think#but I'm very tired so i can't list them rn#besides uhh. Ric trying to burn the Nightwing suits#but yeah i think it'd be fun if Dick struggled with that <3#i love conflicting emotions in characters sm#idk I'm not sure if this makes sense or is in character#but I'm having fun so who cares
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It’s so hard to be exceptional while being normal in a family full of exceptional people . and I really don’t wanna seem like that “smart kid that complains over getting a 98% instead of 100” but those 2 points really matter in the grand scheme of things especially when the 98 is instead an 88 and when I have a pathetic average of Bs and the occasional A and whatever seems so bad compared to my genius family members and it sucks that because of one singular weakness I’ll never be as good as them, when I was raised so well qwith so many more opportunities than them anf yet I still do worse. why? ill never know and it’s making it hard to give it my all
#like why should I even give it my all when what was my all was never enough#too smart for the normal kids and too stupid for the smart kids lmfao#I’m not complaining idk this probably sounds very vain and rudimentary#idk how to explain my issues. I just need an outlet#I also think it’s the burnout lmfao#I also don’t mean this in a self deprecating way like ooojhj I don’t have any talents I’m soooo pathetic and useless!!! no.#I’m actually pretty mediocre at everything#Art never stuck around and writing I was always bad at#science’s the one thing I’m good at and yet I have so much math anxiety I’m practically less than average on it too#and my friends and family just have this image of me being this smart and this good and I’m just. idk. not all that?#seriously I don’t mean this in a vain manner#I’m just hiding the blunt of this in the tags#seriously. does anyone else feel this way?????#I always hated the division of smart kids vs average kids or dumb even#I just.dontjnow#science brings me joy but really it’s because it’s the thing I’m the most knowledgeable on#and I like how people ask me for help in science#and sometimes even maybe they can be impressed with the stuff Ido#but. yeah#this is a lot of repition#I hope this doesn’t go on anyone’s TLs cause that’ll be EMBARRASSING
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Wow I love waking up and my brain immediately attacking me with Zooble wouldn't love you /Heavy sarcasm
#negative#being sick is Not helping my mental health at all#I'll be honest this is was somewhat bothering me last night but i tried to ignore it#and I did a lretty good job for the mosf part#but like. wow. it's 4 am and it jsut hit me all at once </3#@ my brain pls I'm sick don't do this to me#it's actually kind of funny. I went from Episode 4 was a good reminder thatZooble would genuinely love me and care about me#to Episode 4 is a cruel reminder of how replaceable I am and how not even a fictional character wants to be with me#< all because I went kn twitter and found my entire tl filled with ship art btw#< btw I am completely aware of how stupid that sounds but when your sick and your mental health is Bad. yeah lol#makes it Very hard to stop yourself from having Really stupid sounding thoughts like that#I'm always sk terrified of being abandoned again. I don't wNt it to happen again#and like. one part of my brain js like Fitz that is a fictional character who cannot abandon you wgat the fuck is wrong with you#but the the other lart of my brain is like Okay but what if they did abandon me to get eith someone else#and I'm thinking both simultaneously. it sucks :[#thankfully jt's like. 4 am so i don't have to feel too bad about posting this#but if you're awake right now and you see this. I am so sorry idk wgat's wrong with me either lol
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you know how when you drain the water from a sink or bathtub it makes this little swirl? as a child I was deathly scared of this because I was convinced it could jump out of the drain and become a tornado <3
#i think the thing that scared me. looking back. was the sound it made. idk it had something primal and aggressive#remembering shit like this is so funny because my parents will be like 'but you were such a normal child!'#girl i didn't tell you 90% of what was going on in my noggin because you (mother) called me stupid and the r slur one too many times#but yeah i was genuinely SO fucking scared of the Drain Swirl. i had to hype myself up before pulling the plug lmao#rayrambles
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what's your Toronto sports hot take?
i don't pay attention to the raptors, so i have nothing to say abt them besides they should wear purple jerseys ALWAYS. also sorry for the shit season, hope it gets better.
BLUE JAYS... fire everyone in the front office that you can but that's prob a cold take at this point. also if bo bichette leaves i'll kms.
leafs.... idk. mitch marner is gonna be paid closer to auston than willy and he'll deserve it, lol.
#easks#rmr when someone said no one better dare ask for more than willy 8 games into the season solely bc he was TIED for team lead in points#yeah howd that go#idk.... plays better and more sound on both sides of the puck night in and outtt and is all situations and good at it all lol#give him the money RIGHT NOWWWW and make haters on twt cry. including some delusional fandomy ppl too#had to see some stupid opinion abt it in ******* news too like god help us lmfao. get someone who actually knows shit covering the leafs pl#also maybe another hot take is im not any more confident abt playoffs having seen a half season of what berubes selling#defense underlyings might look great but our record has hinged on goaltending without the upside of goal scoring#and i think uhhh thats just as unreliable as what we were doing but we'll see#we're cupping til we'rre not to me OKAY !
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ok after listening to the english version of the death note musical....... unpopular opinion i think but i actually prefer the japanese version? dont get me wrong, with some of the songs i do think i might like the eng version more but..... idk i like the lyrics of the japanese version a lot more? and obviously i only know them via a translation but i know for a fact that the entire focus of certain songs are different between versions.
like in the english version of the game begins, L is talking about his strategy to track down kira. but in the japanese version, he's more so talking TO kira directly and saying that he's going to take him down from his "god" status to hell. or mortals and fools, which had a wholeee different vibe in the japanese version being called like a cruel dream. and uhhhh am i insane or was rem's song before she dies an entirely different song? cause in english it was like a sort of generic love song that was pretty chill considering the context, while in the japanese version it was this superrr melancholic and striking ballad she sang while floating around misa.
idk but i really do think i prefer the japanese version. but the og english version is good too!!! i really liked hurricane and the way it ends in particular
#in ''the way it ends'' btw light saying to L ''i've always stayed a step ahead; but you were with me all the way'' almost made me cry WHATTT#WHO MADE HIM FUCKING SAY THATTTTT THATS SUCH AN INSANE LYRIC#but anyway yeah i think i prefer the jp version a good amount#another thing was um. and this might be a stupid thing to be weird about but. L's actor was too passionate for my tastes#<- that sounds insane but if you know anime L you know what i mean right. like hes pretty reserved#and i felt in the japanese production i watched L's actor there was still a great performer and singer like putting work into those songs#while still keeping that air of L being more reserved and like. flat almost? i feel like the guy playing L in the eng version was too much#like ''im BELTTTINGGGGGG HOW IM GONNA FUCKING CATCCHHHH KIRA!!!!!!!!!!'' like bro calm down......#ITS A GOOD PERFORMANCE it just doesnt read as L to me. and like thats fine whatever its an adaptation#but also in the japanese version they still did that adaptation while making L feel more like himself. so idk man#but anyway I WANNA SEE THIS NEW LONDON PRODUCTION SOOOOOOOO BAD#IVE SEEN PHOTOS AND IT LOOKS SO GOOD THE SET IS SOOOOOO COOL LOOKING OML#i need to see this musical live at SOME point in my life. pleaseeee can we get a north america production after this#serena.txt#death note posting
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told bro id removed means... did not tell him that anything had happened
#i dont know hw to express it!#it sounds so stupid#'hi yeah i did x with suicidal intent but also to actually suicide i wouldve needed to do it diffeerently and i knew that and also i was#trying to not make noise so idk if it actually counts as a suicide attempt or anything but unfortunately what i did discover was it is not#in fact as unpleasant/painful as i had expected at least at that kind of time so suddenly it's a genuine Method On My Radar which is#extremely annoying!'#but yeah idk how to say that to him yknow? and i don't think there will be actual medical complications tho ik there can be. but yeah i#dunno im tired. i should tell the crisis assessment team this afternoon when they ring me but it sounds hard do you think it would be selfi#to tell brother and get him to tell them??#it sounds selfish and cruel and yet otherwise i dont think ill tell them and they. probably should know#personal#tw suicide#puddleglum hours
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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reddit is such a great reminder that cis people do not understand gender or anything about modern gender theory at all. like no hate. i get it. but oh my god
#teeth.txt#post with a lot of people struggling with the concept of a non binary trans woman#and shockingly few people in the comments uh. explaining it#it was a fair question like the person who asked was like 'my friend just came out as a nb trans woman what does that mean'#but oh god the comments. lord.#'umm but that doesn't make sense that's contradictory#how can someone be non binary and also a woman??'#which like ok yeah not something you would just Know but#just kind of a peek into how my life is VERY different than yours lol#also you're a little annoying sorry to say. but not sorry because you are a redditor.#like yes i know it's not reasonable to expect that people understand concepts that they probably largely don't care about#it's just a lil funny#idk this sounds meaner than i think i want it to be#but also the tone of some of those commenters did feel a little bit 'god these stupid trannies don't understand the meaning of WORDS'#not that that was the intent but idk. it was not reading as charitable/self aware
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