#idk if this makes sense anymore im distracted and been up all night but i think i put all my thoughts down | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago

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meowmeow, sweety! 'you gave yourself away' you dont think these were accidents, dont you?) im glad to be here too. a little uncomfy though bc i still feel like im scamming your subs TT bc usually just some people who just send messages r anons and those who have at least ups r some bloggers. but alright. pathetic man evil meow meow TT yeah we love him. 'i’ll even distort reality if i have to' tbh sounds like a good fic idea for me... 'its more of a compliment to viserys' yk i also was confused when vissy called daemon 'son'. i was WTF. bc while its understandable why daemon acts like that, why vissy acts like this?? esp if the difference between them is 4 years (idk but you said 'too' so ig so?)? at first i even thought maybe its a twisted dream of daemon TT 'everyone deserves love even stinky daemon' FUCK GHDKFHFJ i meant to write he thinks he does NOT deserve love (thats why neither from wife nor). HGJDF my sleepy mind just read the previous not as the negative and was like in english they dont say that so no. so silly TT like daemon seeks hes brother approval (thought he gives it to him in a way), he insists that his WIFE hates him (though she still took a ring and made wedding promises), he REEKS of insecurities abt not deserving love. 'FOR YOU FOR NOTICING' dont forget i passed an exam where you dont have right answers you just analyse the texts and write 5 essays. i notice too much. not always write abt it (bc ive been writing these 2 replies for 3? hours or so) but always notice. 'even tho ur siblingless' im siblingless but not eyeless? mindless? 5 essays girl. 'DONT APOLOGIZE' i remember how you enjoyed my first expressive reply so im sorry i cant give you these emotions anymore( 'a very specific reason i added it in the first place' 😶 TUMBLR DONT LET ME PUT THIS STUNNED EMOJI WITH THE HAND BUT NO BLUSH. nvm. will the dragons' skeletons regain muscles and soft tissues and become real or will oberyn martell come to life out of his coat? 'ITS A FANFIC BUT ITS NOT' HAJSJD catmom youre so mean. AND how come you promise to watch tlou but dont watch doctor who😡 youre so cruel and dont like me and matt smith and good plot and twisted timelines. 'something so deeply intimate' yeah absolutely understand. i nave a specific form of my name which can make me literally cry when called. 'he would 100% make a shrine for her and worship the ground she walks on' he better make it up for her for waiting for 2000 years for him. 'NOW I WANNA WRITE SOME AEMOND FICS' NOT hinting on that idea with the hades and persephone, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT😶 are these 2 kitties aemond and aegon while investigating? gsdjmlsk 'HELP ME THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY AND BREIFLY PUT' ooh thanks. hope its a compliment. also. ive just thought. i can see daemons horniness as not so real desire to have sex with he reader but to feel her closer and get some familiar and more tangible confirmation of their love, bond and her not going away. makes sense. 'to be super tender and sweet and full of love' YES! big brains think the same! absolutely yes! in this case its essential! although all dominant daemon is hot, i can imagine him being subby more often than anyone wants to agree and also so pretty. SORRY i got distracted. i can see him as the type to just kiss readers shoulder/neck/arm/any bare skin he can see whenever he can to just feel her and confirm that shes with him, not leaving him, not always sexually. 'if you dont feel comfy reading smut if i do write it just skip it' 1) thanks for caring abt me🥺 2) i reblogged frost bite... girl... 'I 100% MEANT' OMG TT no but imagine him calling reader 'my queen' in a hushed voice during the wedding night and in high valyrian bc its still a treason but shes HIS Majestic Eternal Wife. i really wanted to make it short but got carried away so pt 2 again. sorry TT

idk what his cat is doing so silly HAHHAH

HELLLOOOOOOO

meowmeow, sweety! 'you gave yourself away' you dont think these were accidents, dont you?)

well i just thought 'oh well i know who she is now'

im glad to be here too.

a little uncomfy though bc i still feel like im scamming your subs TT bc usually just some people who just send messages r anons and those who have at least ups r some bloggers. but alright.

scamming my subs? first of all what? subs? is this youtube? i- no one is being scammed ??? you can send me as many messages as you want. also 'at least ups r some bloggers' i dont know what you mean T_T

pathetic man evil meow meow TT yeah we love him.

HAHAH

'i’ll even distort reality if i have to' tbh sounds like a good fic idea for me...

/: i mean its what happening to THIS fic so HAHAH

'its more of a compliment to viserys' yk i also was confused when vissy called daemon 'son'. i was WTF. bc while its understandable why daemon acts like that, why vissy acts like this?? esp if the difference between them is 4 years (idk but you said 'too' so ig so?)? at first i even thought maybe its a twisted dream of daemon TT

no T_T it wasn't viserys calling him son wasn't him trying to say 'oh im older than you and this is our dynamic, father and child' it was more like, he froze because daemon thinks he's their dad and so he's just pretending to be who daemon thinks he is so that #1, he'll get the closure he wants in this moment, #2 he'll listen to what he'll say, #3 it's easier to go with it rather than tryna explain smth to a drunk man. i guess that part wasnt very clear. i thought people might confuse his intention there and i was right T_T it be like that its ok it was too next level and i knew it

'everyone deserves love even stinky daemon' FUCK GHDKFHFJ i meant to write he thinks he does NOT deserve love (thats why neither from wife nor). HGJDF my sleepy mind just read the previous not as the negative and was like in english they dont say that so no.

ah i see HAHAHA that makes more sense AHAHAAHHA he is looking for love everywhere T_T its ok ur sleepy mind mind needed sleep sleep

so silly TT like daemon seeks hes brother approval (thought he gives it to him in a way), he insists that his WIFE hates him (though she still took a ring and made wedding promises), he REEKS of insecurities abt not deserving love.

HE DOES HES A PATHETIC LIL WET CAT WHOS SO INSECURE WITH HIS DADDY ISSUES

'FOR YOU FOR NOTICING' dont forget i passed an exam where you dont have right answers you just analyse the texts and write 5 essays. i notice too much. not always write abt it (bc ive been writing these 2 replies for 3? hours or so) but always notice.

T_T HELP THE EFFORT YOU TOOK FOR ME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE MY HEART MY SOUL

'even tho ur siblingless' im siblingless but not eyeless? mindless? 5 essays girl.

HAHHAHAHAHA OK HAHAHHAHAHAHA

'DONT APOLOGIZE' i remember how you enjoyed my first expressive reply so im sorry i cant give you these emotions anymore

T_T im touched you remember. im just glad to get anything you are willing to give my love <3

( 'a very specific reason i added it in the first place' 😶 TUMBLR DONT LET ME PUT THIS STUNNED EMOJI WITH THE HAND BUT NO BLUSH. nvm. will the dragons' skeletons regain muscles and soft tissues and become real or will oberyn martell come to life out of his coat?

HELP ??? WHAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH no no it's nothing like that... or is it HAAHH

'ITS A FANFIC BUT ITS NOT' HAJSJD catmom youre so mean.

HAHAHAHAH its what she deserves for making get into pedro pascal

AND how come you promise to watch tlou but dont watch doctor who😡 youre so cruel and dont like me and matt smith and good plot and twisted timelines.

T_T i only agreed to watch 1 episode. ive watched 3 episodes for doctor who! i love you and i also🤢love🤢matt smith but taking on doctor who is so much more daunting than that zombie flic. and again i'll only watch 1 ep. if its tHAT good then i'll watch more

'something so deeply intimate' yeah absolutely understand. i nave a specific form of my name which can make me literally cry when called.

see 😩

'he would 100% make a shrine for her and worship the ground she walks on' he better make it up for her for waiting for 2000 years for him.

ASHFHE:LFHEF ??? BUT THAT WASNT HIS FAULT T_T H:ASFHLAKSHFKALSFH AFHASLFHALSFHAFH SO MEAN TO DAEMON AND FOR WHAT HAHAHHAH DESERVE

'NOW I WANNA WRITE SOME AEMOND FICS' NOT hinting on that idea with the hades and persephone, no, ABSOLUTELY NOT😶

omg i forgot about that!! we'll see. i have some aemonf reqs collecting dust in my queue so lol HAD:HASDAS i might do those first

are these 2 kitties aemond and aegon while investigating? gsdjmlsk

SFDHKAFHAFHASF OMG MAYBE HAHAHAHAH CUTIES

'HELP ME THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY AND BREIFLY PUT' ooh thanks. hope its a compliment.

IT IS A COMPLIMENT IT IS A COMPLIMENT I LOVE THE IMAGREY YOU MADE FOR EVERYTHING T_T UGH I THINK YES I THINK SERVING I THINK SLAY

also. ive just thought. i can see daemons horniness as not so real desire to have sex with he reader but to feel her closer and get some familiar and more tangible confirmation of their love, bond and her not going away. makes sense.

youre SO SO SOSO RIGHT HES SUCH A SIMP AND PATHETIC AND STUPID AND I LOVE THAT IN A MAN

'to be super tender and sweet and full of love' YES! big brains think the same! absolutely yes! in this case its essential! although all dominant daemon is hot, i can imagine him being subby more often than anyone wants to agree and also so pretty.

;KDFGHLKHG;LKDHSGDK YUM YUM I LOVE THAT SO MUCH ;SAHGF;LHASD;FHAS;LDKFHADS;LKFHASD;KLFGHDAS;FLKGHASDF;GADFL;KJASDGF;KJSDAGF;KSDAJFGSAD;KFJD NOT ME WANTING TO SKIP EVERYTHING AND JUST WRITE THAT SKDF;SKFG;SKFGKFGSDKFFK;GF;SAFG;SADKFGAS;FGSADF;

SORRY i got distracted. i can see him as the type to just kiss readers shoulder/neck/arm/any bare skin he can see whenever he can to just feel her and confirm that shes with him, not leaving him, not always sexually.

YOU AND ME BOTH JUST THIS ^^^^^ THIS EVERYTHING THIS^^^^

'if you dont feel comfy reading smut if i do write it just skip it' 1) thanks for caring abt me🥺 2) i reblogged frost bite... girl...

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IM LAUGHING SO HARD OK AHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

'I 100% MEANT' OMG TT no but imagine him calling reader 'my queen' in a hushed voice during the wedding night and in high valyrian bc its still a treason but shes HIS Majestic Eternal Wife.

;SKLFH;SDHFSDHHAHD;AHSDAHDADASDH WHAT DO YOU MEAN IN A HUSHED VOICE MANS ABOUT TO SAY MY QUEEN IN HIS VOWS ON MIC WITH THE SPEAKERS ON MAX IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD FUCK TREASON HE LOVES AEMMA SO MUCH AND WOULD KILL FOR HER BUT YN IS

HIS QUEEN

AND AINT NO ONE ABOUT TO GET IT TWISTED HE WOULD COMMIT THE MOST UNHOLY OF CRIMES FOR HER AND THATS ON PERIOD

i really wanted to make it short but got carried away so pt 2 again. sorry TT

DONT EVEN APOLOGIZE IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN but i do have to finish my homework and do laundry so i might read your other messages later

xxx

i love you thank you so much for this response. i hope you are doing well

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

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luvlyrv · 4 years ago

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No More Secrets | Joy x Fem!Reader

Genre: fluff

Request: Can I please request where the reader is a single parent who is also dating sooyoung. Sooyoung doesn’t know that the reader has a kid, since reader has been hiding them because she felt like sooyoung would shame her or wouldn’t want to date her anymore. Sooyoung accidentally see’s the readers kid and instead of being angry, she just wants to be part of the family. Thank youu!

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: First request I've ever done! Thank you for sending this in, I hope it's what you wanted. Also hhh you'll probably notice but I decided to keep the child vague? Maybe you have a dream baby that you wanna parent idk, so I don't have a name or gender for them, hope you don't mind.

Date: 1/23/21

Over the past few years you've thrown yourself into your work. It was hard trying to provide for the needs of both you and your child at the same time, both in the physical and emotional sense. Whether or not you would be able to pay the bills was always a worry, and as you continued increasing your time at work you began to fret about if you were there for your kid at the same time.

The biggest struggle overall was toiling through those worries by yourself. As much as you tried to distract and provide for your family by working more and more overtime shifts, you couldn't ignore the growing emptiness in your heart and bed any further. Sure, you could reach out to friends and family to ask for help and be your support group, but they could never be what you desired right now. Right now you wished that someone was there holding you. That someone told you things would be okay and could love you in a romantic sense. Someone to completely swipe you off your feet and make your worries melt away.

Unfortunately it's been proven to you over and over again that it's hard to find a date. Very few people were your type, and from those people you weren't their type for the most part. Even if you matched you found yourself so busy working and taking care of your child that you were on a tight schedule, and your matches just never seemed to want to work with someone inflexible.

One day though, it felt like an absolute miracle when you got a match. A woman named Park Sooyoung had appeared on your feed. You read through her short biography, learning how she loves to sing and is an aspiring model and dog mom. Staring at her pictures you felt like she was out of your league. You couldn't tell what was worse, swiping no and missing out on a possible opportunity or swiping yes when you knew she was 100% out of your league and would likely reject you instantly.

It was a welcome surprise when you finally swiped yes, only to see a match screen pop up instantly on your phone. Soon after that the both of you began talking to each other. Your thumbs nervously tapping away at your phone as the both of you said your hellos and started giving more detailed introductions. The tightness in your chest eased up as every text sent by Sooyoung was charming you, all of them being disarming and funny to you.

Within the next couple of days you felt like you were glued to your phone. Without meaning to your hands would find its way cross the table or to your pocket just to pull out your phone and look for notifications from Sooyoung. Luckily for you it always felt like her name was on your screen with her patiently waiting for a text back.

Soon enough she asked for a coffee date. You obliged to her offer but told her your schedule, already profusely apologizing as you expected it to be difficult for her to work with. Sooyoung just said not to worry about it and set out a date that would be convenient for the both of you.

Every day after that was spent living in anticipation. You wondered about the sound of her voice and if things would be as easy and comfortable in real life as it was over text. As you dropped off your child at your friend's place to be watched over the evening your heart swelled even more. You really were going to meet Sooyoung.

You enter the coffee shop nervously, your eyes scanning the entire shop trying to look for a familiar face. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a tall figure gracefully sitting in a booth. Focusing on her face, she looked exactly like the woman you matched with. A smile fell on your face as you thanked the heavens that at least you weren't catfished. You make your way over to her booth and speak out.

"Hey, Sooyoung?" The woman looks up and smiles instantly looking at you.

"Hey! Really good to meet you, Y/N."

"Sorry, did I keep you waiting? How about I treat you coffee?" Sooyoung just shook her head at your offer.

"No no, I'll do the treating this time. Maybe on our next date?" She suggested casually. The smile on your face grew a little bit wider at the idea of a second date. The two of you go up to the counter and make your orders. When they were complete you both went back to your booth and sat down to talk.

The two of you casually talked while sipping away at your drinks. You were really happy, because you couldn't remember the last time your heart fluttered this much. You were thankful that spending time with your date felt so natural and comfortable. Hopefully Sooyoung would be thinking the same thing too.

It wasn't supposed to go like this. You were hoping that maybe by the second or third date you could bring up the fact that you're a mother. Every single date though you'd push back that conversation more. The two of you would be having so much fun together you didn't want to turn the atmosphere serious so suddenly. Either that or your anxieties and fears made their way back into your heart.

Yet here you were, already on your fifth date with Sooyoung's presence in your life becoming more and more familiar. The guilt of not telling her was silently eating away at you. Despite that, your fears still held your tongue.

After all, meeting someone like Sooyoung felt like a one in a million chance for you. If she broke it off with you now, you'd feel devastated from the loss. Not only that, but as much as you liked Sooyoung you weren't sure if your child was reader for an unfamiliar adult figure to enter their life. What if Sooyoung was secretly dangerous? You could be putting your child in harms way.

So as much as it hurt you to feel like you were breaking Sooyoung's trust, you had to protect your family first. For now, you'll just continue trying to gauge how good Sooyoung is with children and hope she isn't offended by how long it's taking you to tell her such pertinent information. You sigh while looking at the food sitting in front of you.

"Are you not hungry after all?" Sooyoung asks. You look up with a bit of a surprised face, just being snapped out of your train of thought.

"Oh sorry, I was just thinking." You smile a bit, trying to ease any of Sooyoung's possible worries. You start to take some small bites of your dinner. Sooyoung just quirks her eyebrows a bit at the sight. She wondered what could possibly be thinking about. Things were awkward for a little bit after that, but the rest of dinner went smoothly. The small amount of tension dissipated and the two of you were able to converse and share laughs as the night went on.

When dinner was finished Sooyoung offered to take you home. Although you were a bit worried at first, you decided to take her offer. You enjoyed the car ride as you watched the dark night sky pass by while continuing to chat idly with Sooyoung. She drops you off without a hitch as you thank her.

It's now been a couple months since you've first met Sooyoung, and you're life has been better ever since. Although trying to manage the many different parts of your life all at once and by yourself was hard, you knew that Sooyoung would always be there to listen to your worries. Or at least the worries you could talk about without talking about your family.

You were sitting on the couch with your child on your lap, snuggling into you. You couldn't help but to be filled with warmth as you saw how happy and excited they looked while watching the movie on TV. For the past couple of weeks they were begging to watch the movie with you, so finally you had set the time to have a movie night with them. On the table were snacks scattered across it as well as your phone. You noticed your phone light up from a notification. You leaned over just a little bit to reach it and check.

i missed you! i have some takeout and im coming over~

It was a text from Sooyoung. You stared at your phone in shock. Your mind was torn. On one hand you loved the spontaneity of it all and the seemingly romantic gesture. On another hand you hated the spontaneity of it all and worried about Sooyoung finally entering your house only to see that you've been taking care of a kid the entire time. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise though.

You decided to suck it up and meet your fate tonight. You'd welcome Sooyoung to your home and see how things go from there.

alright, see you soon!

You let out the breath you were holding in as you squeeze your eyes in frustration. Your child looked up at you with a worrying look.

"Is something wrong, mommy?" They ask innocently. You shake your head and try to give a reassuring smile. You squeeze their arm a bit.

"Nothing is wrong, someone is going to come over later though so don't be scared from the doorbell." You answer. Your child just nods their head and looks back at the TV, eating some of the popcorn you had made earlier.

Around twenty minutes pass before you finally hear the ringing of your door bell. You gently pick your child off of your lap and onto the couch as you get up to answer. You took in a few deep breathes to try and ready yourself. While reaching out to unlock and turn the doorknob, you realize your hand was shaking despite your efforts.

You open the door and try to give Sooyoung a smile, but you reckon that your worry was obvious as her face quickly had a concerned look.

"Hey Y/N!" Sooyoung says with a smile, with it fading a little as her eyebrows became upturned. "Uhm, are you not happy to see me…?" You become apologetic as you frantically responded.

"Of course I'm happy to see you! It's just that… uhm." You open the door a bit further for Sooyoung and allow her to enter the house. You look at your kid sitting on the couch now staring at Sooyoung rather than watching the movie.

"K/N, this is Sooyoung! A friend of mommy's." You bite your lip after introducing her. You felt bad as it you felt like you were dumping news onto both your date and your own child. You watch as Sooyoung went over to your table and put the takeout down. Things were silent except for the pounding in your chest. You prepared your mind and heart for the worst, expecting Sooyoung to politely say goodbye and leave.

Then, Sooyoung put on a grand smile and excited sat down next to your kid.

"I'm so excited to meet you! Is it okay if I watch this movie with you?" Sooyoung asks, but instead of answering the question your child decided to blurt out their thoughts instead.

"You're really really really pretty." They said with a face mixed with surprise and admiration. Sooyoung gives out a laugh, finding the bluntness of your child hilarious and adorable.

The feeling in your chest began to ease up as you watched the sight. You were both surprised and happy with the way things were looking, but you'd definitely have to have a conversation with Sooyoung afterwards. For now though, it seemed like the three of you could eat take out and enjoy some snacks while watching the rest of a kid's movie.

The movie eventually came to an end though. Your child was yawning and complaining about being tired so you made them go brush their teeth. After they were done you picked them up and gently laid them in bed, kissing their forehead and saying goodnight. When you closed the door to their room, you went back to the living room where Sooyoung was patiently sitting.

"I guess we have some things we should talk about, right?" You gave a little fake laugh after asking the rhetorical question. You walked towards the couch and sat down a couple feet away from Sooyoung.

"So…" She began talking, at first looking at the floor but then into your eyes. Her eyes seemed to be filled with hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered. Already you were feeling horrible. You reached your hand out to clasp hers and she let you.

"I'm so sorry. I really am Sooyoung. I was just worried about whether or not you would like kids, let alone start being a part of one's life. I just… I needed more time to gauge that. I was really meaning to tell you though, I promise." You tried to explain to her. Sooyoung leaned forward to you and hugged you.

"Hey hey, don't worry. I absolutely adore K/N already." She backed out of the hug but was still close to you. She tucked away a stray hair as she continued talking with you. "I'll take care of the both of you, okay? I want to do that for you both." She gives you a reassuring smile. You lean in and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I'm sorry. No more secrets from me." You say, happy that it now felt like nothing was in between you and your relationship with Sooyoung anymore.

#Park Sooyoung #park sooyoung x reader #joy x reader #red velvet #red velvet joy #red velvet kpop #red velvet scenarios #red velvet sooyoung #rv joy #rv sooyoung #kpop writing #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop au #gg scenarios #gg imagines #kpop gg #red velvet x reader

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago

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OKAY SO-

can i get a platonic matchup pleaSeEeE?

okay, so- lets talk about myself sdsnfnenxnf

My name is Jei, I use she/they pronouns, I am 5’11” and I ABSOLUTELY AM THE AWKWARD TALL KIND OF PERSON (I wish I wasn’t tho-). I have short curly hair, (RANDOM THOUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, DO YOU EVEN NEED TO KNOW HOW I LOOK FOR A P L A T O N I C MATCHUP? weeeeelll i am already here so, lets just keep going ig) I am like b i g IDK BAHSHAHSHABS

As you can see I am a bit uH chaotic (it is a daily thing but iDK TODAY I AM JUST OVER THE TOP) I am an ambivert, I am an INFP, Aries sun, Cancer moon and Sagittarius rising sbdsndns

I uHhhHh- I am very awkward in first meetings but if we have something in common I’ll ramble about our common interest which almost always leads to me talking about other stuff.

I am a Marvel fan if that’s uUuuh- important? I LOVE UM GOOD OMENS BAHSHAHZHA, i dOnt even know what i am talking about anymore but lets keep going BABDBAHZHA

I have a B I G variety of music taste, from 40s big band songs to uhhhHh lets just say ppcocaine(???

I get distracted w a y too easily, I tend to get lost on time

I LOVE TO DRAW AND TO WRITE (but i never have time to finish so me is very m a d >:))

My best subject is english, english teachers always love me for some effing reason :D

My favorite colors are orange, green, coffee? (COFFEE IS A COLOR? I FORGOT OMFG) OH SHOOT WAIT I HAD TO SEARCH IT UP, IT IS CALLED BROWN BAHAAHHAHAHA I AM SO STUPID, beigeEs and blaCk >:)

yeah, i like dark academia buT in a like chaotic rebel way if it is possible???????

AM I MAKING ANY SENSE NOW???? i am sleep deprived so i don’t really knoW

I tend to see the good in people (yes that includes bad people too, sadly), I have troubles speaking for myself in situations where people are troubling me,,,

What elseeee????

I am lazy sometimes, I’ll admit it 😌☝🏽 and it gets on my nerves:D (i am working on it tho)

All my time is sucked by school, I am an overachiever and adbanxnajxjs i cry cuz school u know? <3

And I think that’s it?????

THANK YOUUU, HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT

@burntbayleaf IM SORRY BUT WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS

Also yes my Aries sister 😩

Platonic Matchup

Nishinoya Yuu

How Y’all Met

Aight

So you rolled up into school with a FIRE marvel t-shirt

And nishinoya being a marvel fan himself took IMMEDIATE notice

So what did he do

Approach you of course 🙄✋

However...

It was quite awkward at first 🥲

He really just went up to you and was like

“Oh you like marvel? What’s your favorite movie, or do you prefer the comics?, OH Have how ever seen...”

And he just went on and on and on

But when he realized he was rambling he apologized and asked you the first question again

Now it was your turn to ramble on and on about your interests

But honestly noya just rolled with it

Rooooooollliiiinnnng Thunnndaaaa

After you both were done with your rambling

He invited you over to his house for a #MarvelMarathon

And who tf were you to say no

So you pulled up to his house and started the marathon

In the middle of said marathons noya’s phone started to ring

And what was his ringtone?

Ppcocains PJ

And what did you do when you heard this?

Sang along ofc

And noya was just in shock

But after overcoming his shock he started singing with you

Yeah...he missed that call

But who gives af! Y’all are having a concert rn!

The day bled into night and he offered for you to stay the night

Not wanting to walk home in the dark you agreed

And oml the night was just filled with movies, mini concerts, and junk food 👀

Ever since that night you and him have been attached at the hip

What You Have In Common

Well obviously you both like Marvel

And ppcocain

But you both have a chaotic energy that mashes well with each other

You both have small attention spans/ get distracted very easily 😀

Istg conversations with you two are all over the place

One minute it’s this subject then two seconds later it’s a different subject

Fun fact: you made him watch good omens with you and now he’s obsessed

He says he has a deep emotional connection with Crowley ❤️

Favorite Things To Do Together

Good lord

Honestly if he could just recreate your first sleepover

Life would be perfect

Because THATS his favorite thing to do with you

Just bonding over common interests

Whether that be with music, movies, hobbies

Whatever

No matter what you two do it’s always a party

OTHER THAN BEING CRAZY THO

He actually really likes to have drawing competitions with you

Even though he always loses 🥲

You’ve offered to not make it a competition

But he says that’s what make it fun :)

Random Hc

Oh your his personal tutor

100%

He needs help with school

Screw the teachers

Screw the tutors

There is only ✨you✨

He has also volunteered you as a tutor for the team :D

without your knowledge....

You two have weekly movie nights

But lately he’s just been binging good omens with you

Speaking of Good Omens 👀

That is YOUR show

Like if one of you even watch ONE episode without the other

All hell breaks lose

Ok off topic Hc but people think your the equivalent of asahi 🥲

Astrology

Independent Aries and collaborative Libra form a funny sort of friendship.

Aries tries convincing Libra to take chances, shake off criticism, and be more direct.

Libra constantly tells Aries to slow down, smell the flowers, and be more appreciative.

It's an odd couple type of relationship that can work extremely well.

Aries can learn the fine art of diplomacy from Libra, while Libra may become more assertive thanks to Aries.

While the Aries and the Libra are opposing each other from an astrological point of view, they can still become friends very fast.

The Aries admires how the Libra is graceful, stylish and funny, while the other way around, the latter truly likes how determined to take part in new adventures and always courageous their friend is.

Of course, the friendship between these two will sometimes be challenging because the Aries can get hurt seeing the Libra is flighty, while the latter may not like the way the former is pushy.

However, these two can easily make up and neither of them likes to hold a grudge.

Aesthetic

Chaotic ⚡️👹💥

Songs-

PJ - Ppcocain

Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boyz

Won’t Bite - Doja cat

My Axe - Insane Clown Posse

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #nishinoya #nishinoya yuu #noya #noya x reader #noya x y/n #nishinoya x y/n #nishinoya x reader

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letthefrogsbe · 3 years ago

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remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry.

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

#hope this is marketable??#sort of just wanted to share my 4 am writing tbh #it doesn't make sense just go w it #parkner #peter parker #harley keener

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sickassastrology · 4 years ago

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Who’s crushin on ya!? 😏🥰😍 This is a general pick a pile reading for the collective and your person. It may not resonate for all, so just take what sticks. Feel free to pick just one pile or take a look at them all. but please....be honest with your story. remember that timing is fluid and free will is something we all have. This could have already happened, your going through it, or will happen. Follow your heart always. -E 🌻💙

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PILE 1 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

So pile 1 your person is STUCK on you. This is someone from your past crushin on you. They just cant seem to get you out of their head-its literally making them sick. It’s like they have tried everything to distract themselves. But at the end of the day they are just worried sick, and have to speak whats on their mind. I see two 8s here so that number could be important to you or the connection. This person will be reaching out to you. this person lost you. You walked away from them and continued on with your life. And now that you left them, they are in a state of grief that you aren’t with them anymore. Ohhhhh, I see why you did....they were low vibes, huh? Had additions and didn’t want to come out of them either. Just stuck to their ball and chain. You gave A LOT to this connection. so much so that you were getting drained. I’m seeing a heart monitor, so it was like you were pumping love to this person on life support. And they were taking it. And it helped them, but they didn’t give it back because they didn’t have it. So-you had to leave. im getting that you had NOTHING left. Like even if you tried or wanted to give or have more for this person. they sucked you dry. And this hurt you. I am getting a betrayal energy from this person. They are stalking you too. If you moved on, they are looking at the new person around too. i heard the song “what we could have been“ by H.E.R. I see a guy driving around in his car at night listening to music smoking. So this person is dead in their feelings about you. They are reminiscing a lot about you. Don’t move too fast pile 1 because they are coming back. This person has done some work on themselves while they have been away too. They have been listening to spirit more. You were a divine light to them. you were placed in this persons path to help them with their addictions, help them be a better person. But nope they wanted to stay in the low vibes. like I always say, “and empress will never stay where she isn’t wanted. She will leave-BUT she will always be wanted back. She will always be needed. And this person, pile 1 needs you. i just heard I can’t live without you. So look out because they are coming around the mountain. Good luck. 😉

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PILE 2 🧿🧿🧿

Hi pile 2. Right off....this person wants to come back to you. But right now is a bad time. This person had a third party in the past and because of it, you cut them off. I don’t get the sense that this was a super long relationship. More of the beginning stages of developing into one. But this person was playing the field still. And you were having none of it. Youve been through enough. So you told them like it was, and if they try to come back again. You’ll tell them....again!! 😂 because you stood your ground, they view you as somebody different. I get that this person is used to getting over on people. But not with you so when you turned them away and cut them off. It forced them to make decision. and now their other options, I’m getting multiple people involved. They are done with them now. They have chosen you, and they are looking to come back. But boy oh boy they do have a ways to get there. This person could be at distance from you. I’m getting across water or state so they may travel to get there to you. but they have got to come correct because you are not playing! I get the sense of your not coming off of your throne-you just won’t do it. This group is no nonsense I mean honestly. 😩 your ready. You know your worth, and you are worthy of something good. You will not settle, nooooo not this time. Because youve already been through this. your heart can’t be played with anymore. This person is sad without you. They thought the other options would be better than you. Like oh “ill just go in my back pocket and choose from these”. But none were like you, so because of that....they feel STUPID. they feel so dumb, so sad that when they do come back. they won’t be able to even get a word in because you won’t hear them out. The “others“ are still coming for your person. Talk to them, be with them. But your person is just like no, I dont Want to be bothered, I want my bae back. But hey.....you may or may not be there when they decide to come. like they call you and if you answer then okay but if not, oh well. 😂 this person regrets what they've done. So dumb, so silly. To think....the other options were going to fulfill them. But they were sadly mistaken. pity boy, pity gal. 🥲 this person had options out the buttttt. They were playa playa from the Himalayas. this Person tried to play you, get over on you. And you found out. And said no not me, you WILL NOT do this to me. And they never had anyone do that to them. pile 2 I’m seeing you already know what it feels like to be not considered in a high regard. and You won’t do it again! Like if they want the others...go BYE! and now this person is feeling like they sabotaged this with you. They were living their ego. Somebody who has multiple options like that needs their ego to be fed. Like if the main person they want doesn’t work out or something happens they have backups. They can just go to someone else. Now this person feels like they aren’t enough for YOU! They now lack confidence, they are the jealous ones. They self-sabotaged. So yeah this person will come back with time, but your address may have changed by that time. *I just want to say I’m very proud of this group. A lot of lessons and growth!* best of luck! 😁

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PILE 3 🌸🌸🌸

alrighty pile 3, welcome! So this read will be more intuitive. Ironically enough, this group pulled three cards. So let’s get into it!.....*moment of silence because the energy is rather intense here*. I heard the song “baby come back” by player. I’m feeling this group has moved on from their person tbh. Like it’s just too little, too late for this person. This was somebody you walked away from. There was A LOTTT of love here. but also secrets and fears in this connection. With this person, your energy is coming up as “how could you do this to me-ME. Not in an egotistical way, but because you trusted and loved this person. And they loved you too. So when they did whatever they did to hurt or betray you, it was like how could you. 😩 I’m feeling like you weren’t even mad about it, more disappointed than anything. So after, you started just doing your own thing. Not really concerned with anything or anyone else. Just working on yourself. A reinvention. I’m seeing healthy eating or changing the color of your hair. Wearing sexy clothes (just for yourself) everything you started to do was about self love. And just when you started to move on or found someone new.....HERE THEY COME. like oh wait for me! i gotta be honest with y’all. I don’t feel like this person really cheated on you. I’m getting that maybe you thought they were doing you wrong but they weren’t. or a really bad agruement took place and something was said or done that was very distasteful and you felt betrayed by it. But I’m not getting strong cheating energy. You really thought it was something and it wasn’t and this person tried to explain and it went from there. (Downhill that is) there is so much sadness here. You really though this was going to work out and it didn’t. There has been some time that has passed here. This person didn’t know how to come back. no idea on what to say or do about the situation. But they daydream about it 24/7. They think about being intimate again and how it was like with you (if y’all were). this person wants to play something romantic. I’m seeing a dinner with candles a few drinks. Trying to take it back to the good times. But it took too long for this person. and now this person sees you with someone new And they can’t help but wonder...what if I would have gotten back in time. What if things would have worked out? This person does want to come back without a doubt! But will they? I’m not too sure, because it looks like you have someone else now. *PLOT TWIST*!!!! Pile 3 let me ask you this, do you love this new person like your old flame? I think NOT. You like this new person and everything, but your heart is with the person you broke up with. The new person is diggin you and likes you a lot. But there’s something thats just not hittin the same anymore. And your old person didn’t forget about you either. *i pulled extra cards for this group because I’m really feeling like this just may come back together. I’m getting that vibe heavy. For the outcome. I don’t see y’all coming back together ASAP because theres a decision that needs to be made and you don’t want to choose .your just kinda there. This connection right here is a divine pair. With the lovers and emperor here. But there’s still work that needs to be done by both parties and a conclusion by you. So you will be separated until then. I’m telling y’all...if you choose this person. Do not be surprised if this person gives you a ring. This person may right music or be into the arts. They may give you a gift that comes from their heart. a song. I heard melody. they could play an instrument or that was something you two had In common. The thought you of keeps this person sane while you aren’t with them. The thought of being with you again keeps them together. Like when they a bad day or something. Because you aren’t there physically, them daydreaming keeps them motivated. Pile 3, intuitively I gotta say it. I know y’all gotta make a decision and everything but this is going to work out. Idk when because time is fluid but it’s going to come back together. I’m telling y’all

now. its Going to take patience but in time it will. This connection is strong, y’all love each other too much. This person loves you. And they want to restore this! Like I said, this new person...your not fooling me! Yeah you like them, but that heart of yours didnt go anywhere. I’m going to say for this pile, your going to have to make the first moves because they feel like your done with them. They feel like there’s nothing they can do or say to get you back. WOW, you all have to let me know how this plays out because it will work out! I almost want to cry. can I get an invite to the wedding with a +1 please!?

#love #tarot #relationship #astrology

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elderbwrry · 4 years ago

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Even if he doesn't say so

A little darkgingerpilot Witcher AU I discussed months ago with @cleversturmhond I have no concept of how time passes anymore

Summary: The Witcher meets a bard, the bard meets a mage, and they travel the continent. Kylo knows what he feels, but he can't seem to act. Hux acts without talking about things. And Poe... well, what does Poe feel?

Tags: Witcher AU, Inspired by The Witcher, Slow Burn, if you count 13k as slow burn i guess, within the story its slow burn, fantasy medieval setting, Self-Indulgent, Mage Hux, witcher kylo, Bard Poe, scenic, They're oblivious, sex references, Yearning, i guess, im slapping a mature on it for sex references and some minor violence but honestly ehhh idk, darkgingerpilot

Chapter 1/2/3/?, wordcount 5012

also on Ao3

Whenever someone asked Kylo, he always said he preferred to keep to himself and the company of Silence, his horse and his best companion for the very fact of her name; she didn't talk, she didn't disturb the meditative quiet of his lonely rides, and, most importantly, he wasn't unsure how to curry her favour. An apple would do it. His current companions, on the other hand...

For some gods-forsaken reason, Poe and Hux were quarrelling about a composer who had been dead for over a century. When the three of them had first started travelling together years ago, and in the short time since they'd reunited, such discussion had been endearing; both of them were opinionated about certain things, and their conversations often turned into little debates over whatever topic arose while they were travelling. This was one of those occasions, Kylo enjoying listening to their thoughts and voices filling up the worn country roads. A throwaway comment had become interesting; Kylo didn't actually know much about this particular composer, whereas Hux and Poe both did, and, though Kylo didn't often contribute to these discussions in any great detail since the other two were both so much better with words, he did like to learn something new occasionally. But now, several hours into their journey and still on the same subject, it was just getting fucking annoying.

“I literally studied her work. You can't just turn around and say she wasn't revolutionary,” Poe objected, trotting along between Silence and Hux's own horse on the wide bridleway, looking up at Hux indignantly.

Poe's lowered position made it seem slightly laughable when Hux looked down at him and countered, “Since I actually met the woman, I think you'll find I can,” before prompting his horse to walk on ahead of them.

Poe picked up his pace a little and continued the argument, making some musical point Kylo didn't understand either. He tried to tune them out a bit as he let Silence drop back a short distance behind the them.

Considering how much time the three of them spent around each other in recent years, Kylo supposed he should be glad disagreements as lengthy as these were relatively few. And, certainly, they were fewer even than when it had only been Kylo and Poe on the path together.

[break]

Kylo had met Poe many years ago – at least a decade, if he thought about it – when he'd been compelled by his work to go through the city he'd been born in. Not only was the place particularly unfriendly to Witchers, but also had relations of his – distant now, yet he wanted to avoid them nonetheless – in positions of authority. Kylo had used a fake name, a low hood to hide his eyes, his scar, and stuck to the dingiest taverns, but a curly-haired, high-born young man had recognised him anyway, sitting himself down confidently at Kylo's corner table, offering his name, and saying, “I know you. You're that famous Witcher.”

Kylo had eyed his unwelcome acquaintance – Poewas what he introduced himself as – guessing that he couldn't yet be twenty summers old. Of course, Kylo was no good with ages – his own longevity had corroded his sense for them until everyone seemed either old or young in confusing measures – but Poe's next request had practically confirmed his suspicion.

“Would you let me come with you?” Poe had asked the second the bar-wench had placed down Kylo's ale.

“Come with me where?” Kylo grunted. He wasn't in the mood to bodyguard some noble, out for the first time in a world without castle walls.

“Well, where are you going?” Poe's eyes had glinted as he offered Kylo a charming smile.

Kylo had appraised him again, taking in his youth, his rich clothes, his courage, and summarily said, “No.”

Poe's smile didn't drop, even though Kylo could see his only half-amused chuckle for the frustration it was. “Come on, I just wanna see a bit of the world. Get away from my guardian's expectations.”

“The Queen?” Kylo had asked, an imprudently displayed gold ring on the youth's finger catching the light.

Poe had shrugged a yes.

It only made Kylo refuse all the more. The Queen was one of the people Kylo was known to by unfortunate fact of his heritage, someone he never wanted to anger, in case of her having some cause to meet with him personally. Poe, while not her blood family, would surely be missed, as her ward, were he to make off with a Witcher, especially with the one so primarily known for the massacre at Crait.

Poe's gaze went steely at Kylo's final dismissal, and he'd left the tavern quickly after that. It couldn't have been two years later when Kylo encountered the young man again, fine doublet swapped for something a little more incognito in orange and brown tones, a lute slung over his back and all the more determination to see everything.

Kylo hadn't refused him a second time, and he wouldn't have been able to, since Poe no longer had any qualms about following him uninvited. Thus, he had a new travelling companion.

Just as he suspected, Poe was a liability in some aspects of the job where monsters were concerned, but Poe had also dragged him, limping, back to camp before, bandaged his wounds, fetched his potions. His life had undeniably turned for the better with the bard around; Poe was a talented musician, it turned out, and the extra income and incentive to stay at inns meant Kylo was now more acquainted with feather pillows than he'd ever hoped to be. The positive company had made Kylo better as well, at talking to people, at putting up with them, at giving life nuance. His path was lighter with Poe on it.

They became comfortable around each other. They began to argue, about the silly things people who know each other well and cared for each other deeply argue about, about which direction to head in, which inn to stop at, about the jacket Kylo had left to get trampled by the last monster he'd fought. Barely a day went by without some kind of silly quibble to that effect, but it never truly changed the form of their relationship.

Then, they'd met Hux.

[break]

Kylo had been around long enough that he'd thought he'd heard of most of the other powerful, non-mortal beings on the continent, so randomly running into an evidently strong mage like Hux, who he'd never heard of, was a bit surprising. Kylo had been employed to go and rid a keep up on the hill of whatever it was that was plaguing it. He was expecting to take a while to figure it out, but when he arrived, the malevolent spirits were revealed easily by the mage already locked in battle with them.

The fight the man was putting up was impressive, given the sheer number of foes. He was spewing fire everywhere, manipulating the elements to his will, his bright hair and swan-white robe whipped around by the wind he was creating, but eventually Kylo could see he was losing, and so joined him in the fight. It was fortuitous that they were both there, as Kylo certainly couldn't have defeated them all on his own either. When the last spirit was destroyed, however, Hux had spun round, announced that he had decidedly notrequired the help of some filthy Witcher, and flounced off. He'd gotten about ten paces when he collapsed from the sheer exertion of having used his magic in such a manner.

So Kylo had carried the mage back to camp and laid him down on his bedroll to recuperate.

Poe was travelling with Kylo at that time, and, though he was surprised to see Hux, he seemed very glad to see Kylo back from the fight, juiced up on potions but otherwise unharmed. His smile had made Kylo's heart do something he didn't really understand, the same thing it did when Poe met his gaze during a performance at whatever tavern they were staying at, the same when Kylo said something complimentary to him. Indeed, it was becoming more and more of a common feeling, and Kylo was finding that he rather liked it.

When Kylo suggested he should probably go find a rabbit or something for dinner, Poe seemed happy enough to watch over the mage until he returned, and Kylo had picked his way into the forest they were camping on the edge of with his head full of thoughts of Poe. His distraction had meant he took longer than usual to catch something, and when he got back, it was to find Poe backed against a tree, Hux threatening him using a dagger Kylo hadn't realised he'd had on him.

“Kylo!” Poe had shouted when he saw him – and again, the weird thing Kylo's heart did around Poe – equal parts relieved and pissed off.

Hux relaxed only slightly at knowing whose camp it was he had been brought to, and, once Kylo had convinced him to lower the weapon, he protested strongly that he didn't want anyone's help or charity, and that he was offended to have been carried around like some damsel. Poe told him he was very welcome to fuck off, but it soon became clear that Hux wasn't in any shape to be going off on his own, so he stayed with them that night.

Kylo was settling in to sleep on the opposite side of the fire to Hux when Poe dumped his bedroll down next to him, closer than usual – cue the weird heart thing again – and lay down. All Kylo had managed to ask was, “What are you doing?”

Huffing, Poe leaned up to peer over Kylo's arm at where Hux was lying, turned away from them on the far side of their little camp. “He tried to kill me today. I don't wanna wake up with my throat cut for some magey shit.”

Kylo considered pointing out that Poe wouldn't wake up at all if his throat had been slit, but he was more struck by the implication that Poe was trusting him to protect him. Usually, people were more likely to fear that Kylo would be the one killing them after whatever monster he'd been hired to dispatch, but Poe was different, and always had been, really. He insisted that Kylo had good in him, that he wasn't all the darkness that Witchers were supposed to be. He wasn't entirely right, of course, but it was nice to have someone hope in him.

So instead of making the bard move away, all Kylo had said was, “You'll get cold, so far from the fire,” and offered Poe an extra side of his own blanket.

One night of Hux staying with them turned into two, into three, into a week's travel to the neighbouring city. In fact, Kylo was almost sad to see the severe mage leave, as it meant he and Poe went back to their usual sleeping arrangements, instead of curling up together with Kylo as his shield.

[break]

Months later, to Kylo's surprise, Hux sought him out. He was after a gem of something something and he needed hired muscle that he could trust would actually get the job done. Hux had found them by the coast, and the first thing he said as he took Poe in was, “You're still travelling with him, are you?” Kylo wasn't sure whether the question was meant for him or Poe, but they'd both answered definitively.

The month and a half of travel it took to reach the mountain cave system in which the gem was kept saw Poe and Hux grow accustomed to each other, if not strictly friendly. Poe didn't resume his habit of sleeping next to Kylo, Hux didn't try to kill Poe again, and eventually they stopped speaking to each other in jibes and barbs.

Hux and Kylo also ended up bonding; they would sit together in taverns while Poe was performing and talk, about things that they remembered from when they were young, things Poe had learned only from his history professors. It was nice to have someone who related, who had experienced similar things to him, who understood what it was to be not-quite human and tied to a duty they didn't quite want. Hux had been raised in magic, it turned out, and, as they talked, Kylo realised it wasn't so different to being raised into killing as he had been. The small, commiserating smiles Hux offered struck Kylo deeply, and one day he realised that Hux, bathed in the yellow, glowing tavern light, was beautiful.

When they reached the cave systems that were their destination, Poe had to stay in the local town while Hux and Kylo went in search of the gem, since the place was too unknown and dangerous to risk him coming. And it did turn out to be dangerous; Hux and Kylo each saved each others' life a few times, had several close calls, and, once all the stress and danger of the adventure had turned into the satisfaction of success, they translated that pent-up tension into a vigorous fuck on the way out.

“I don't know why you keep him around,” Hux commented as they trudged back to the town to meet Poe, gem firmly in his grasp. “He can't help you with your work like I could.”

Kylo supposed that was true. “He helps me be better,” Kylo replied, which was also true.

Hux made a derisive sound. “Does he, now.”

Kylo shook his head at Hux's tone. “Why don't you like him? You have plenty in common.”

“It's not that I don't like him,” Hux said, tossing his head to get a strand of hair which had slipped in front of his eyes out of the way. Considering Kylo was grimy and dishevelled from the fighting, Hux's deep crimson tunic still looked remarkably put together, and it gave him a haughty air as he said, “I know his type. I've served them in courts all over the continent for centuries. They think they're entitled to everything without working for it and without thanking the people who actually make it possible. He's just another ungrateful, mortal noble.”

Kylo thought about what he said for a good minute. “You're wrong,” he said.

[break]

Back at the inn, Poe had the entire town in the palm of his hand thanks to his songs. He looked charming as ever, flashing smiles to all the ladies who were fawning over him, but Kylo was happy to see that, when Poe spotted them enter, his smile softened and a new light entered his eyes. This time, the flip in Kylo's heart felt more natural than ever.

When Kylo emerged from the bathhouse, Poe was already waiting in his room for a full account of the adventure so he could turn it into his latest ballad. Kylo related what happened as he usually did, keeping to the bare facts and trusting Poe to make them into pretty wordplay later, until he got to the end, at which point he decided that Poe didn't strictly need to know that Hux had pushed him up against the wall of the cave and kissed him with a ferocity he wasn't likely to forget any time soon.

But Poe noticed the brief hesitation and looked up from his little book where he'd been scribbling notes. “What?” he asked.

Kylo shrugged. “Nothing. We left to come back here,” he said, pulling the shirt he was wearing off and reaching for a different one.

“Did something bite you?”

Kylo could hear the frown in Poe's voice, and he turned back to see Poe's eyes locked on a slightly bruised, reddish ring low on his neck. A vague recollection surfaced in Kylo's mind of Hux tugging down his collar, once his outer layer of armour was off, and digging his teeth hard into the flesh over that spot. He hummed, reaching up to rub at it and thus hide it from Poe's sight. “Must have.”

Poe stood up and approached, batting Kylo's hand out of the way, which he couldn't find the motivation to resist. When Poe ran his thumb over the bruise, he was so warm Kylo pushed into the touch. If Poe noticed, he didn't comment, his brow was deeply furrowed. “What kind of monster even has teeth like that?”

A knock came on the door. “Kylo,” Hux called from outside, “we need to talk about payment.”

“I'm...” Kylo hesitated, feeling strangely and suddenly like he'd betrayed Poe. “I'm coming.”

Kylo wasn't sure what about him looked guilty, but Poe seemed to realise at that moment where the mark came from. “Oh,” he said, stepping away and back to his book.

Not long after that, Poe announced his intention to head back to his home kingdom. Kylo's mouth went dry. It was Hux who had to ask the platitudes – did he have some business to attend to? How long did he think he would stay? - which Poe replied to blandly, something about responsibility to his mentors. Kylo wanted to ask him to stop, to stay, but all he managed to get out was, “I'll miss you.”

[break]

Time passed.

Poe left for home, taking his light and song with him.

Kylo spent one winter with Hux, back in the keep where they'd first met, which Hux had appropriated for himself, but it was all wrong; there was a grounding influence missing, without which the two of them spent more time treating each other angrily than well. The sex was amazing, but eventually, it felt hollow. The day it became clear that the harshest weather had blown over, Kylo was back on Silence, looking for the next contract out on a monster, something he could hack into pieces without thinking.

The seasons changed, fled and returned until it had been another year. Kylo was firmly back in the blank swing of contract, monster, payment, move along, but the campfire felt lonely after dark, when he had nothing to occupy his mind. He started talking to Silence; she never replied.

Sometimes, Kylo found himself wondering how long it would be until he ran into Hux again, and if he would even want to see him. Maybe he could make the way they left things up to him. They'd had something, after all, and, though it hadn't been perfect, he missed that feeling of love and understanding and protection which Hux provided. Kylo didn't hold out much hope of seeing Poe; he never went near his home city, and why would Poe venture out again? He'd seen his share of the world. He was back in his real life, now.

But eventually, those nights of wondering wore Kylo down, and, quite without intending to, he found himself directing Silence down the path to the kingdoms neighbouring Poe's.

There, Kylo found himself invited to the royal tourney of Queen Phasma, as a guest of honour. She was a renowned warrior, and Kylo reasoned that it would be rude to decline the request of such an esteemed ruler. He reasoned that perhaps she would even have some work for him. He reasoned a lot of things, in his attempt to deny to himself that the real reason was hope that a tourney would be more than enough cause for a neighbouring noble to be in the area, or even just a bard...

The festivities were festivities. It was strange, to watch others fight instead of having to do it himself, and for performance rather than necessity. Though sometimes the rush of people grated on him, Phasma was a gracious host and Kylo enjoyed the good food well enough, always keeping an eye out for some shock of red hair, or those cheerful, dark curls he so hoped for.

His vigilance yielded one of those prizes.

A tall, beautiful, severe looking man entered the great hall one evening for the feast, walking directly up to the main table at which Phasma and Kylo were seated, and didn't even falter when he recognised Kylo's distinctive scar, yellow eyes, dark garb.

“Hux!” Phasma exclaimed standing and marching around the table to pull the man into a hug, which he returned with surprising readiness, “My dear friend, it has been too long!”

Hux gave a half-bow. “I'm sorry I'm late, I was caught up with business.”

“Ah, yes, business,” Phasma said knowingly, “and where is Lord Dameron?”

Hux's eyes flitted over to Kylo's for the briefest of seconds. “Altogether too caught up with his teaching to bother with a tournament, I'm afraid.”

“Well you must tell him I want him at the next one.” With that, she made to retake her seat again, gesturing at Kylo. “Kylo, this is Hux, currently an advisor to court in the neighbouring kingdom and the most talented mage in all the continent. Hux, Kylo, the Witcher.”

“Yes, we've met,” Hux understated, settling his gaze on Kylo fully, now, and extending his hand to Kylo over the table. Not sure what he was expected to do, Kylo gave Hux his hand, and Hux took it, raising it to his lips and kissing Kylo's knuckles.

Kylo wasn't entirely certain if he could blush any more, since the mutations which had turned him into a Witcher, but if he could, he was sure he was, what with so many people around to witness a display of affection which Kylo was unused to at the best of times. Along with that, relief, because it made him feel suddenly like all was forgiven without him having to wrangle the words around an apology.

“Hux, stop that and sit down!” Phasma reprimanded, “The players will begin soon.”

It was only as Hux sat down that Kylo realised the empty chair on his right had likely always been for Hux. No sooner had he settled than the players flooded the floor, dancing into their performance of an old, famous play, something about two supernatural kings vying for the affection of a mortal with all sorts of fanciful gifts.

“This version is better than the original,” Hux remarked a short while in, and Kylo hummed out an assent, though he had never seen it when it first was performed. He was probably too busy wading through drowner guts, or something similarly uncouth.

“So, you're in Poe's court, now?” Kylo asked instead. “Is he king?”

“No,” Hux remarked, picking up his goblet of wine and keeping his gaze on the players. “Nor does he want to be. The Queen has plenty of other worthy successors, and Poe would much rather go back to spending his days as a bard.” He tutted. “Even if he doesn't say so.”

“Why are you there?”

He sighed. “I wanted to see what you meant about him not being like the others, so I offered my services to the Queen.” Kylo hummed again, and this time, Hux turned to look at him. “You were quite right. He's different. I find myself rather taken with him.”

Kylo reached for his own wine now, his mouth suddenly dry. “Oh. Have you..?”

“No. Kylo...” Hux placed his cup down and leaned to the side so his shoulder was brushing Kylo's, even as Kylo was resolutely not looking at him. “He misses you. And I know you miss him.”

As if by design, the lutist started to play, and both their eyes went to the young woman performing in the corner. Kylo found himself thinking, perhaps uncharitably, that she wasn't as talented as Poe, her song wasn't as sweet.

Hux didn't fail to notice this. “I think we should travel together again,” he said.

“We?”

“You and I and Poe,” Hux said, as though it were obvious. “Like we did those few months travelling in from the coast. I've found myself thinking about them a lot.”

Kylo shrugged. “It was only a few months. Things have changed since then.”

“Which is why we should give it another try.” Kylo jolted in slight surprise when he felt Hux's cool hand lay over his own on the arm of the chair. He turned to find Hux looking directly into his eyes. “Stay here for a week after the tourney is over, and I'll have convinced him to come. Kylo.” A tacit command from Hux, as usual, instead of a request.

Kylo nodded.

[break]

So Kylo waited by the city gates, where Hux had sent a messenger bird that he should meet them. He was nervous, when he first spotted the black dot on the distant path that he was sure was them, shuffling from one foot to the other and gripping Silence's reins tight, like that would do anything. He was wondering how he should greet Poe; hello, certainly, and he didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from smiling, but he found that he also wanted to give him a hug, press their lips together, feel that he was really thereagain, after the nearly two years they'd spent apart.

It turned out he needn't have worried, since Poe sprang forward and clasped him into a hug without prompting, talking immediately about where they would be going and how good it would be to be back on the road.

Hux had merely given him a look that said I told you so, and followed after the excitable bard.

That had been nearly two weeks ago.

It turned out that Hux was entirely right; things were different than before, and they were better. The things that had changed were these:

Hux had brought a horse with him, this time, and several other magical items, such as a tent which was far larger inside than it appeared. Poe hadn't bothered with a horse, since he hadn't needed one before, and had thus left the money with which to pay for its upkeep back at home, planning instead to sing for his money like he used to. Kylo rather liked this; it reminded him of old times, when he steadfastly refused to let Poe ride Silence, in case it tired her out too much. The tent, on the other hand, felt annoyingly like Hux was living in style while the two of them were stuck outside, since Hux had never invited them in and Kylo, for one, wasn't about to invite himself.

It seemed Hux and Poe had also developed a much closer friendship, in the time Hux had spent at court. It made Kylo feel a little like he had missed out, like he had time to catch up on, like there was something impenetrable he couldn't access. Kylo supposed it must be similar for Hux, since he and Poe had known each other for so long before he met them, and again for Poe, given that winter when it was only him and Hux, but times like these – Poe and Hux discussing something so academic that Kylo knew so little about – could be daunting as much as interesting.

Mostly, Kylo felt like he still had to make something up to Poe, and he wasn't sure how to do it. He should probably just have a conversation with him about it, but the words never came, and bringing it up when nobody was thinking about it would, he was sure, just sour the mood. And if he just left it, the tension would have to break eventually.

[break]

Ahead of him on the road, Hux and Poe's little argument seemed to have reached a peak point. Kylo had been too lost in his thoughts to pay attention to what they were saying, but now Poe had stopped walking, raising open arms in that way of his that was almost defeated, but actually said he still thought he was right. It was very cute, like he was a turtle with a lute for a shell, and Kylo couldn't help but think his annoyed expression was charming as well.

When Silence reached the spot where Poe was standing, watching Hux ride on with his usual haughty confidence, Kylo hummed. “Did he win?”

Poe huffed, moving again to keep up with Silence's ambling pace. “No, but he's acting like he did. He always thinks he's right.”

Kylo thought about it for a beat; Hux did indeed always think that he was right. It was one of the things that had caused friction in their attempt at a relationship that one winter. It wasn't that all three of them couldn't be stubborn, more that Kylo and Poe had much more ability to hold out against each other's pestering than either of them seemed to have against Hux. One narrowing twitch of those steely-grey eyes, and anyone with even half a sense of self-preservation would surrender. So Kylo could sympathise with Poe's little pout.

They came to the edge of the forest, the village where they planned to stop a short way before them across a few fields. Kylo drew Silence to a halt and put out a hand to Poe, who looked at it first with surprise and then joy. He quickly allowed Kylo to help him up, settling just behind the Witcher, his chest pressed to his back, their thighs brushing against each other with every movement. Kylo could feel it all, and he tried not to let his stomach flip too much when Poe's arms snaked around his sides, hands locking at his front. He cursed inwardly that today he'd chosen to forgo some layers in favour of his cooler shirt.

But then Poe was saying to him over his shoulder – though it felt more like murmuring in his ear - “Come on, I wanna see Hux's face.”

Kylo prodded Silence to walk on, closing the distance on Hux. As they passed, Kylo felt Poe remove one hand to wave at the mage. Looking around, it was in almost slow motion that Hux's expression went from one of mild astonishment to annoyance to jealousy.

“See you there, Hugs!” Poe said, and Kylo smiled to himself.

#darkgingerpilot #armitage hux #poe dameron #kylo ren #kylo/hux/poe #kylux #darkpilot #gingerpilot #my writing #fanfiction #witcher au #fantasy medieval au #even if he doesn't say so

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elftwink · 4 years ago

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d/on/t r/b this post but as of late ive been struggling with a loss of appetite to a degree which i know is damaging to my health and that other people are noticing and it feels very difficult to talk about because for one, i’m almost certain it’s a symptom of something else so i don’t really know how to address it on my own, since my relationship with food is somewhat beside the point. even if i love a food and want to eat it and know i should, not only am i not hungry but the thought of eating makes me feel ill. but it’s also not like an actual physical thing wrong with me or my digestive system because i’m able to eat just fine when i have the munchies lmfao.

its very similar to my sleep schedule being messed up like around wind down time when i think about going to sleep i am overcome with a violent and prolonged sense of dread only relieved by accidentally distracting myself long enough to forget i should be going to bed then rinse repeat until 2-4am. but i know its somewhat different from normal executive dysfunction because w/that any feeling bad about it is self-imposed and it’s guilt or anger or frustration at not doing what i want to do. the like, fear/dread/revulsion is new and i have no idea why its happening or how to make it stop

and then ofc they all compound. i barely eat so i’m tired and low on energy all day, making it that much harder to break the routine ive set for myself. i stay up until 2am every night and that makes me more tired. i dont go anywhere or see anyone for obvious reasons. i really think if i could fix my diet and sleep schedule that would already make everything so much easier to deal with but every time i try i genuinely feel like it’s making it worse. like quicksand; the more you fight it, the faster you sink. obviously forcing myself to sleep is only inducing anxiety attacks and forcing myself to eat is making the nausea worse but if i dont do anything than its just a matter of time until i hit some kind of breaking point.

idk where this post was going. i just wanted to talk about it. i type posts up like this all the time only to delete them because im embarrassed or ashamed or because i don’t want the ppl i know irl to bring it up in person or because i don’t want to dampen the mood. obviously this post is pretty far from a solution but i dont wanna feel alone in it anymore, and on the off chance i do feel better after posting this, i think thats worthwhile even if it doesnt ‘solve’ anything

#good idea generator #food /#disordered eating /#idk if that fits exactly but ifk how else to tag it #if you would like another tag lmk #anyway. if you tell me to go to therapy i will block you straight up 1) i already know 2) read the room

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easytoforgettt · 4 years ago

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im back for the 5th time

Hey guys, i think im back fr now. ive been “healthy” for a while now, i lost 7kgs, but it took me waaaay too long and i dont have much time. theres been a lot going on lately. ive my depression and anxiety back, ive got a boyfriend but hes friends with his ex and i dont like the situation im in with her being in the fucking picture- the picture would be way prettier with just me and him in it... maybe im not skinny enough? not pretty enough? i know that he loves me very much and i love him so so much, i would jump in a fire for him. but he still needa be friends with that girl. i would block anyone for him, why wont he block anyone for me? shes just a friend he says, shes suuuuch an important person in his life. theres been a little bit of drama in this situation, if any of you would like an in depth explanation i can give it to you, i need to get it off my chest. For now my plan is to get skinnt till summer, bc ill probably meed her in the summer and i need to be the pretty one, i need to be the skinnier one, i need to be the baddest bitch that i can in front of her, bc lets be real- no one likes to look worse than their bfs ex, and i fucking wont. the fact that he doesnt understand why i dont like them being friends.... sometimes i wonder if hes actually blind as to how i feel or if he just acts like he dont see it just so he can have things his way. why is she so fucking important. shes the only one i have a problem with... anyways, about other things- im maybe going to therapy next week but im not really sure, (TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM) ive relapsed and my bf saw it, lately ive also had extreme anxiety and panic attacks at night and he saw all of them, im scared that he wont want to deal with me so im getting help. maybe i dont love myself but i love him and i dont want to hurt him because of my mental health. well, i want to fix everything except my ed rn. i need to get skinny first and then i can go and recover. people always tell me that im stupid for thinking that way but i think its a great plan. why? you might ask. well, you see, im extremely overweight and on the verge of being obese, if i manage to lose weight and potentially almost become underweight and then go to recovery i might gain some of it back but i still wont be as fat as i am now. if i go to recovery now and im stil overweight and start eating so much again ill probably gain everything back and become obese. idk does that make sense? it makes sense to me. ive gotta say it tho, living alone is amazing. i can go a whole day without eating and i dont have to hide it, theres no one here to see it and i love it. its hard with my boyfriend around but thank god we almost always eat healthy. studying is killing me atm tho, theres waaay too much to do now but at least i distract myself from eating this way. when im stressed i also get nauseous.. my only problem is excercise, i hate it, but i have to start working out. today ill try to go for a run. my boyfriend wants to lose weight too and its scaring me bc hes a skinny white boy and im fat. im also a little bit taller so i feel humongous around him already, if he becomes anymore skinnier im gonna dieeeee. i need to catch up to him. god this is all going on my nerves smh. ill try to write here more often now, i noticed that writing makes me more motivated and when i write here what i want to do i feel like i actually have to do it or else i have lied to you and i dont lie. so ill go for a run today, see you tomorrow loves. stay safe, recover

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daylighteclipsed · 5 years ago

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“This is another reason most of future lost rights” May we hear your thoughts?

Now that I have officially finished watching the original Steven Universe series, I have many Thoughts about the continuation. Prepare for some detailed salty takes.

-- My biggest gripe is that Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst lose pretty much all of the emotional intelligence they gain in the original series to maximize Steven’s suffering.

So like the gifset that prompted this ask for example, where Garnet realizes she’s hurt Steven with her future vision and apologizes? Makes her reaction in Future to realizing she hurt Steven again OOC. The OG series also teaches us and Steven that Garnet can’t see definites, because there’s so many possibilities, and the future’s always changing, and the future can always be changed. So her line about how there was no universe where Steven didn’t propose to Connie as her reason for why she didn’t try to stop him, is bullshit.

The Volleyball episode gives away that Steven is clearly not OK, and Pearl does nothing about it. Neurotic, mother hen, let’s make a plan Pearl does not ask Steven if he’s alright and makes 0 plans to train him to control his new alarming powers. Pearl, who now has a better sense of how trauma works because she has it herself, who we have seen in the OG series suspect Steven is dealing with some post traumatic stress after being taken to Homeworld and reach out to him about it, does not in Future reach out to him after he expresses blatant distress over having to deal with more of his mom’s problems. I’m supposed to believe this? Seriously?

And Amethyst? I think she’s the most obvious offender since a big part of her arc in the end of the OG series is emotional maturity.There’s a whole episode dedicated to her putting Steven’s feelings first. Acknowledging the pressure he’s been under and the shit that’s been dumped on him for years and the horror of finding out Rose was a Diamond which makes him a Diamond and recognizing that he’s not OK. He can’t be. Learning that Steven deals by distracting himself with other tasks and people. But sure when Amethyst notices Steven throwing himself into his work in Future, her response is just “When did you become such a prick?” Yeah. Totally sounds right.

There is a whole arc about these two emotionally connecting through their insecurities and the strength they find in having each other to relate to and rely on and confide in. It is one of my favorites in the entire story. And it is totally thrown out a window in Future. If no one else you’d think at least Amethyst would reach out to Steven in Future before he spirals, but no.

Literally it’s like the entire Gem trio’s emotionally sent back to square 1 and their perception’s lowered to 0, which is lower than it was to begin with, because it was the only way Future could work. Seriously, after Prickly Pair nobody tries to talk to Steven? Nobody insists they need to talk about what the fuck just happened? Nobody goes after Steven when he runs away, twice?! Once after crashing the van with his dad inside, in which he disappears for 3 whole days. Another time after talking about how they can’t help him anymore, which is really alarming! Then they all just let Steven go when he returns from Homeworld glowing with Diamond pupils?! are you kidding me, are you fUcking KidDing me am I supposed to believe they’re even his friends in Future what the fuck I hate this

-- And framing everything like the Gems have never been there for Steven? Hate that too. There’s countless episodes in the OG series proving that’s not true. Steven himself says it’s not. At one point that’s what keeps him from literally falling from the sky.

“I just need something that makes me happy, something I can always depend on to cheer me up. My guys. They spent all night out here just to keep me company. No matter how much I mess up they’ll be there to help me.”

It’s the biggest reason why the Gems are foils to the Diamonds!

“Remember back when I was little and maybe kind of annoying, and I couldn’t come along on adventures? You guys would still drop everything to hang out with me.”

Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst begin kind of oblivious and inattentive, but they don’t stay that way. They are always learning, and apologizing, and changing when they realize their behavior is harmful. To themselves, to the team as a whole, to strangers, to Steven. They do very early in the series start setting work aside to spend time with him. Together breakfast (which ends up meaning so much to Garnet that it becomes her wedding cake), mini golf, cards, board games, movies, the arcade, the amusement park. They’re Steven’s band in beach-a-palooza. They become, not only better caretakers, but his friends.

A team. For the main Crystal Gem quartet so much of the show is about them learning to become a team by learning to understand each other and helping each other grow, leading to a stunning display of teamwork in the finale with Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst, and Steven all fusing together into one kickass warrior, Obsidian. It’s so perfect that this didn’t, couldn’t, happen until the end, after all that development. It’s so satisfying.

-- Like I mentioned before, there’s no reason why the Gems, including the others like Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth, wouldn’t try to help Steven learn to control his new powers in Future.

-- A lot of the, uh, conflicts Steven faces in Future also feel ignorant to the OG series.

Steven in future: i just feel like i can’t make mistakes in front of you guys and cant be honest cause its mean and i have to be nice and perfect :(

Steven in og series: oh geez I really messed up sorry guys; [feels like the worst Crystal Gem cause he’s always fucking up]; (Garnet: You’re making Pearl very upset) “IM very upset!“; “What Rose wanted--ARGH! What about what I want?! I’m sick of you always lying to me!”; “Home’s been awful! Here’s been awful! Everyone’s been acting awful too!”

Steven in future: idk how to be a friend to someone who’s not a miserable sad sack with no direction in life

Connie: hey what the fuck

What was the point of all the townie episodes if we’re going to act like Steven never connected with the human part of his life why would the og show bounce between gem eps and human eps if not to show how Steven connects with both worlds ad’g;ajfgjfagjLAFKJS

Steven in future: why didn’t my meddling advice work? this has never happened before. am i losing my touch. who am i

Og Steven, multiple times: aaAAAAAH I SHOULD NOT HAVE MEDDLED AND PUSHED I MADE THINGS WORSE

- Why wasn’t Mindful Education revisited? Steven’s a fusion technically, right, so if he’s feeling, you know, deeply conflicted about his 2 halves, doesn’t that mean he’s out of harmony? There’s a way for 2 halves of a fusion to communicate through meditation and address what’s causing the imbalance, but I guess that would’ve solved Steven’s problem too easily. That’s the only reason Connie’s kept out of Future for so long too, right? Ugh. Never mind the fact that Mindful Ed taught Steven that it’s really important to face upsetting thoughts and feelings and traumas before they tear him apart. But whatever! what ever

- God this isn’t even half of the issues I now have with Future, but I don’t want this post to be 8 miles longer than it already is. Basically I feel like Future does a disservice to the characters and story being told in the original series, which I am very fond of now. It reminds me of an OOC fanfiction. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I really do not want to argue about this. It’s just my opinion. I’m kind of venting. If you agree, great. If you don’t, please keep scrolling. Thanks.

#this is very salty im sorry #and long #negativity #//#su #crystal gems #steven

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botwstoriesandsuch · 5 years ago

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YES! POST THINGS! IM BORED!!!

Okie Dokie here you go!

The real reason I wanted an ask was because the original person who asked for this prompt isn’t in my inbox anymore...? Someone requested a one-shot about Revali failing at his gale, but I can’t find it in the inbox because I’m dumb/technology issues? (I think their name was trash mammal or something, idk). Anyway, here’s that, although I kinda, accidentally turned it into a character analysis of Revali...But an anon said that I apologize too much with requests. Therefore, I’m NOT sorry about that, I’m NOT sorry for the wait, and I’m NOT sorry that this is 3487 words long. Enjoy!

Edit: Sorry if the format looks weird on mobile, idk why!

The Pride of the Rito

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild

Revali x Reader

The night was bitter in more ways than one. The snow that tumbled down on the Flight Range was thick, leaving clumps of ice on the roof. The air was hazy, a silver atmosphere that commanded the winds to howl towards the sky. The rugged mountains that surrounded the area isolated him and the trench. The only thing that could be seen past the lingering snowstorm was the faint blue glow of Medoh in the sky, for even the stars were captured under the white, with not a twinkle in sight. Outside, the flurries rested on the tips of his feathers and beak, a delicate moment in the midst of his relentless training.

Again. Let’s do it again. I need to be more precise.

Revali knelt on the edge, teetering between the solid ground and the emptiness below him.

He brushed the tips of his wing against the rocks, the winds rushing between his feathers. His body relaxed for a moment, closing his eyes and feeling the air. Then, he tensed, stiffening his wings on either side, in a motion as if to summon something from the earth. Well, he was summoning something. The air, the wind, the movement, the authority to conjure a draft below him. The winds were now picking up, swirling violently and circling under him, he could feel his jade anklets clinking around from the rampant air.

Keep going. Keep. Going. It needs to be stronger, faster.

The falling snow was now alive, dancing around as they were swept into the hurricane-like entity that was now surrounding Revali. His braids were flapping in the air, his cream colored scarf billowing. The winds were now cutting, bitter cold nipping despite his feathered features.

Now, up. Release with control, direct it upwards. Not all at once. Keep the energy. Follow through the whole way. Command the ascent. Steer the flow. This is it!

A shaky breath escaped him. A strange charge now filled the air. The winds, once turbulent, now suddenly stilled, seeming to wait for their cue. He could feel it still swirling, inside of him, ready to burst at any moment. Then, his wings, still strained on either side of him, gave a mighty flap. The air now roared back to life, swelling beneath him.

A tornado, a great pillar of air, now released into the sky.

And he flew

…straight into a rocky cliff.

“ARGH–”

The wind, quite literally, was knocked out of Revali, as he connected with the rocky ridge. He dropped, and then fell on the ground with a thud. He laid there, aching for a moment, before letting out a deep sigh.

Revali started to move, slightly, just enough to get his head out of the dirt. Then he knelt on the ground, for what seemed like an eternity, contemplating. Finally, he got up. The Rito armor, now dusted with grey snow and rocky debris, had protected most of him, however, it couldn’t protect the blow to his confidence. He cursed under his breath.

It seemed that instead of streaming Revali towards the sky, the gale had pushed him back, sideways towards the surrounding cliffs. With another flap of his wings, he moved back towards the wooden hut, shaking his head.

He landed on the armrest of the balcony, making his way to a little oaken desk. Snatching his journal (astutely named The Diary of Revali, the Rito Legend) he started scribbling down notes. Of course, being so focused on recording his latest happenings, he failed to notice the Hylian sitting amongst the pillows and blankets behind him. Putting the rest of his thoughts onto paper, Revali turned around and was greeted by your smiling face.

“Gah! [Name]? What– when did…how long have you been here?”

You gave a quiet chuckle.

“Just half an hour or so. A blizzard was coming in and I knew you would be out practicing again. Being stuck here, alone all night, isn’t really ideal. So…”

You moved the blanket off of you, spreading your arms wide as if to present yourself or pose. A cheeky grin on your face.

“Ta-da! Now you have company!”

Moving the leather strap around your shoulder, you tugged a satchel onto your lap. Digging through, you pulled out two sealed containers.

“Plus, I brought some spicy meat stew.”

Revali shook his head, moving closer to the blankets, but not daring to sit down.

“That’s alright, I’m not hungry.”

Acknowledging, and subsequently ignoring his comment, you shoved the soup container towards his chest, forcing him to hold it.

“What? You get full from eating the snow and pebbles from your fall just now?”

His eyes then narrowed, “I’m trying to train.”

“By starving and injuring yourself?”

“By perfecting my technique– Listen, [name], if you came here to distract me from my goal, I’m sorry to inform you that your efforts will be for naught.”

Revali turned around, placing the spicy meat stew on the desk. He started making his way towards the landing outside.

You have out a huff. Getting up to follow him, you tossed both of the containers back into your bag and started walking.

“Instead of focusing on long forgotten spiritual magic, why don’t you just focus on being the best you, you can be?”

“Farore above, did you really just say that? Incredibly cliche, I expected more of you–”

“I was joking.”

“Hmm, we need to work on your sense of humour.”

Outside, the air stung on your cheeks. The snowstorm still clouded the sky, masking both the heavens and the earth in white. Shivering, you asked,

“Rito can already fly, can’t they? This seems a bit redundant, you already have wings. What’s even the point of creating an updraft?”

Revali slowed his pace to give out a hearty laugh. In fact, he stopped outright, on the edge of the landing, the echoes of his laughter filling the air. At this point it wasn’t entirely clear if he was being sarcastic or not. You crossed your arms, he stopped when he met your stiff gaze.

“Oh, so you were being serious then…”

A familiar smug expression crossed onto Revali’s face. He hopped back onto the railing, perhaps so he could physically look down on you. He tucked his wings behind his back, leaning forward ever so slightly. A professor about to give a lecture. This should be good.

“Well, as understandable as it is that a Hylian couldn’t comprehend the benefits of such an ability, allow me to enlighten you. Rito style archery is the most superior in all of Hyrule for a multitude of reasons. The light crafting of the bow, the quick and efficient draw, our graceful movements and technique,

“But most importantly…”

He took one foot of the edge, half hovering over the windy pit.

“…the ability of flight!”

Both feet were now off the railing. Revali dove head first into the abyss. While you knew he was probably going to be fine, instinct kicked in as you hurried to the edge to check on him.

Snow still fell through the air, flurries were once again sticking to his feathers. But all he felt was adrenaline, along with the rush of air as he plummeted towards the bottom. Before hitting the watery depths, he unfurled his wings, catching the natural updrafts of the Flight Range. Now soaring towards the sky, Revali gave a few more mighty flaps to get even more height.

Still on the landing, you watched as a blur of navy blue rose above the cliffs. Contrasting with the grey and silver landscape, the blur shot through the air. Then it hovered, just below the clouds, still as a leaf.

Above the Flight Range, Revali shifted the bow off his back, allowing it to drop. Repositioning his weight, he dove down to catch it with a practiced grip. Falling through the air, he flipped upside down, just for show. Taking arrows from his quiver, he knocked them into place. Three arrows, all at once, were released.

Thud!

All made perfect contact with the bullseye, the blue luminescent paint on the targets showing evidence of Revali’s accuracy and precision. Revali fastened another round of arrows, drawing them back before letting them through the air.

Thud!

Perfect, as should be expected of me.

Now, he was about halfway down in his descent.

I think [Name] might be impressed if I warm up the place…

Taking the arrows near the bottom of the quiver, he took out three heavier bomb arrows. Round, scarlet heads held a good amount of gunpowder. Sparking them with a piece of flint on the arrow rest, the fuses were lit, and he let them loose.

BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!

The once frigid air now subsided in the wake of three explosions. The colors of a sunrise clashed in the air, bits of the once turquoise targets nearly flung into your face. You ducked, the warmth of fire now filling the Flight Range.

Revali spread his wings, catching the natural drafts once more, then settled back on the railing.

“As you could see from my demonstration, taking to the sky allows for Rito to shoot our enemies without becoming a stationary target ourselves. However, you can only shoot for as long as you’re falling, and taking to the skies takes time.

“You can’t just flap your wings and get into the air immediately. That only works with natural updrafts, again, as I just demonstrated. An average Rito would have to start at an already elevated position, such as the landings in Rito Village, in order to gain enough momentum and height. Or, alternatively, use a long stretch of land as a runway, gaining height at an gradual angle.

He turned to face you, smirk still on his face.

“Both options take too long. You asked the significance of my ability? It’s the fastest way in all of Hyrule to take to the air. Instantaneous height, the ability to attack whenever, wherever. Thought impossible by everyone, but something that I have solely mastered.”

Or, will master, anyhow…

He strode towards you, bow returned to his back, wings, once again, folded behind him. He gave a deep bow.

You gave a polite clap, humoring his grand show.

“Fantastic performance, Revali. Encore?”

“Tsk. If you came by more often I might consider it.”

Now it was your turn to put on a smirk. “Yeah, yeah. When I finish begging the elders to reward you with a statue, maybe I will.”

“I don’t want, nor need something like that.”

“Oh? But I have to reward you somehow…how about…”

You took out the stews from your satchel. Presenting it like a trophy, you held one out. Then, you tilted your head towards the hut with the pillows and blankets, as if to say, over there! You urged Revali again.

“You didn’t eat lunch, or breakfast!”

“Didn’t I just explain, a literal five seconds ago, how important it is that I practice my–”

“Aaaaaaand you can’t do that on an empty stomach, can you?”

You tried to catch his eye, maybe if he just looked at your eyes, you could get him to change his mind.

“You don’t need to put on an act around me.”

A jade eye shot up, meeting your gaze.

“I’m not–”

Revali looked at you, a new charge filled the air.

“…fine. Just for a minute.”

. . . . .

“Did you even attempt to heat this?”

“It’s almost midnight, and I made it at nine. You’re the one who decided to coop up here all day.”

Despite the temperature, the stew was delicious. For the last hour or so, he and you had been devouring in the flavorful dish. Apparently, it was an official recipe from Rito Stable. The meat, tender and soft, complemented well with a savory broth that you slurped every drop of. The spiciness tingled through your bodies, warming the both of you up. Outside, the blizzard was still present, but now less violent. A thin slice of the moon could be seen beyond the edges of the mountains.

It was you who made most of the small talk with Revali, an incredibly rare occurrence since it was usually the Rito Champion who spoke for extended periods of time. He kept looking outside, near the cliff he had crashed into earlier.

Damn, he’s really still stuck up on that, huh? You thought.

Trying to change the subject to something that would get his attention, you piped up.

“So, the move you’re working on, what’cha gonna call it?”

Revali turned his head back at you. He fiddled with the spoon in his half eaten stew, thinking.

“Something with ‘Revali’ in it, so my name’s out there. Revali’s Flap, Revali’s Hurricane…Revali’s…something. I’ll work out something.”

You let out a soft laugh. “As expected from you.” Shoving another piece of meat into your mouth, you added, “Maybe, *munch* maybe do something like Revali’s Turbulence. Oh! How about Revali’s Boldness! Wait, *munch* no, that’s stupid. But maybe a name more along the lines of Urbosa’s Fury, or Mipha’s Grace, ya know?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think I need to copy from the likes of Champion Urbosa or Mipha.”

“What? They both got cool powers. You know the saying is ‘good artists borrow, and great artist stea–”

“As I said, I don’t need to copy, steal, or piggyback on my fellow Champion’s esteemed reputation. Further associating myself with them will not be necessary”

You set your bowl down, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Nayru save me, don’t tell me you hate them too?”

“What?”

“I mean, I guess I know from experience that you insult people that you like.”

“I…what?”

“Although, not just personal experience. From what I could gather, you seem to actually hate Master Link, but everyone else you just insult because that’s how you make friends. Wait, or are you actually trying to be friends with Link and you just suck at this kind of thing overall…”

Revali interjected in your rant, turning all his attention to you.

“I don’t hate them.”

“Master Link?”

“No, Urbosa and Mipha. Well, perhaps that knight too I suppose. I–I haven’t decided yet.”

“Then why have you been so bitter lately?”

This caught him off guard. You set your bowl down, holding his gaze. This whole week, Revali had isolated himself in the Flight Range, being sharp-tongued to visitors, much more than usual. He wasn’t eating, Hylia knows if he sleeps. You decided to stop beating around the bush and got to the core of the issue.

“Revali, I’ve known you for a long time and I know by now when something’s up. You’re angry about something, or scared, you tell me.”

“It’s. Nothing.”

“Is it your new ability?”

“No.”

“You only got the title of Champion two weeks ago. If you’re feeling pressured, that’s natural”

Revali let his bowl clatter on the ground. Getting up, he made his way outside.

“I’ll eat the rest later, I have to start practicing now.”

You raised your voice slightly, starting to get irritated. “Why is that so important, that you’re sacrificing your health and well being for it?!”

“I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Are you trying to prove yourself? To me? To the Princess? The King? The Champions?”

Revali turned back towards you, but was still walking backwards. The sky was now serene, and full of stars, despite his not so peaceful expression

“I’ve already been deemed on an equal level with all of the other Champions. You know, the team made up of royals and accomplished warriors? I’m here because I’ve shown that my skills are superior to everyone else. Either way, I don’t need to prove anything to people that are of the same rank as me!”

“Hylia, you’re always so blunt with everything else, why not be straightforward now?”

“I am. I’m training because I’m an accomplished Champion who needs to train, not because I’m some mediocre warrior–”

“So you’re afraid of mediocrity?”

“OF COURSE NOT!”

Both of you stood there, stunned. While the tension was building between you two, Revali’s sudden outburst was sudden. You both stood there, wind playing with your hair, and dancing through his scarf.

“…of course not.” His final lie, whispered into the air.

For a moment, there was no sound but the whistles of the wind. You took a step forward, arm outstretched.

“Revali…”

He shook his head, shaking his wings, exasperated.

“OK, Fine! You want the truth, about the updraft? It’s not about the practical use, or the grand show, or defying odds. It’s about me, ok? Right now I’m nothing, just a random cuckoo walking amongst royalty and legendary warriors.

“Daruk, the Goron Elder with an impenetrable force field. Mipha, the Zora princess, whose healing prowess is said to counter even the most devastating of wounds. Lady Urbosa, Chief of the Gerudo who can summon lightning at a literal snap of her fingers. How did I get in here? I’m put beside warriors who are obviously better than me, and what am I supposed to think? Without anything distinguishing about myself, I’m going to fade into history, behind the actually competent people. I thought I worked my ass off to get where I am today, but then I’m put behind some random knight with a shiny sword. So am I worth something or not? Everything’s contradictory, nothing makes sense. Did I just get lucky? Am I getting screwed over?

“The only way I can wrap my head around this whole situation is to confront the fact that I’m just an ordinary Rito who is only here by chance. The work I’ve put in my whole life isn’t enough, I need to go beyond. And beyond means actually mastering this cursed gale!”

An ugly pause. You could cut the heat and tension with a knife. Revali, realizing how much he had just poured out of his soul, gave a half-hearted chuckle.

“Heh, you put wine in that stew?”

His attempt to lighten the mood didn’t fully work. Nonetheless, you stared at him for another eternity. Then you went in for a hug.

“You’re the dumbest Rito alive if you really believe any of that. You are not mediocre. You’re incredible. Incredibly annoying, incredibly persistent at talking my ears off, but incredibly skilled and smart too. Hell, that’s why I’ve loved you for so long.”

Ignoring whatever reaction just escaped from his beak, you continued.

“I would like to reiterate my point that you’re a moron. You can’t isolate yourself here and expect to get better. You can’t go through all this as a solitary warrior. If mastering this ability means so much to you, then go for it. I don’t doubt you for a second. But just know…just know that you’re a complete idiot if you think that you’re not worthy. You’re a fool if you think for even a second that you’re average or inferior, because…

You gulped.

…because you’re everything to me.”

OK, I’ll admit that was super cliche. But catharsis is catharsis I guess.

The moment settled, and silence returned once more.

“Hylia, maybe I did put some wine in there.”

Revali gave out a soft laugh. Then, more quiet. Finally, Revali whispered.

“Did you really mean all that?”

“…yeah.”

A pause, a strange charge filled the air.

“Thank you, [Name]. That, uh, means a lot, coming from you. Truly.”

The air was still once more. However, Revali’s thoughts still swirled like wind.

Say something idiot, they just confessed!

Haha, yes, of course you like me, considering I’m the best around.

Holy– They just called you out on your crap! Don’t say something like that

I love you too…

Wow, cheesy and not really part of the mood. Haven’t I presented myself as more sophisticated than that?

Spirits above, what do I do now???

“I’m sorry.”

You looked up at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry I’ve been making you worry all week.”

“It’s fine, I–”

“No, it’s not fine. We just established how that was not fine.”

Revali looked back at you, clearing his throat.

“Hey, so about all that about love, and stuff–”

“Oh my goddess, yeah, no, if you want to just stay friends I can–”

“Oh no, well. Just to be clear, you were talking about me, correct? You weren’t mispronouncing someone else’s name, or referring to someone else named “Revali?”

You cocked an eyebrow.

“No…I–I was referring to you. The person I was talking to.”

“Ah. Good. Glad that’s clarified. That’s great.”

“…so do you–”

“OH-oh-oh, right, uh yes.”

Revali took a step back, pointing at you with both index fingers. His beak was open, but no sound escaped for a moment.

Say it! They said it a few minutes ago!

I love you too!

“I have also, liked you, a lot, for a long period of time. You’re, pretty great. Yep. Yeah. This is mutual, yes…”

Gods, I’m really am an idiot

#botw #breath of the wild #loz botw #loz breath of the wild #legend of zelda botw #revali #revali botw #revali x reader #botw x reader

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la-paritalienne · 4 years ago

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Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓

i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go

♡♡♡♡

the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8

fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?

cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+

[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars

the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10

you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?

my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10

and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7

i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)

[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on

august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5

for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call

this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-

they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that

illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+

you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5

one single thread of gold / tied me to you

mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]

epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+

only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen

betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+

betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again

peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10

all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret

hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9

i am ash from your fire

♡♡♡♡

okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love

#taylor swift #folklore #also bonus points for the title #fave ever from her #10 #should i tag my reviews #(i think this has now become the tag)

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vaguewriting · 5 years ago

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solangelo grey’s anatomy au

this planning is incomprehensible so good luck

nico is an intern and will is the trauma attending and nico is basically like the cristina to wills burke but also slightly meredith/derek in the sense that theyre Made For Each Other

nico craves power and thrives to be the best trauma surgeon ever and kinda sleeps with will to get ahead but soon realizes that hes In Love with will and so instead of sneaking around sleeping with him they get,,, a relationship?? which is wild for nico but will is all for it bc now he gets to make nico flustered in public

and now for all that useless backstory i always get so maria and hades were both great surgeons until maria died and hades just kinda,, stopped but nico still spent most of his childhood in a hospital and bianca became a surgeon around the time that nico graduated high school (so big age difference) and then died in some accident before nico graduated med school so at least now everyone remembers the name di angelo bc bia was p great too so they have high expectations for nico bc of his family and also hazel shows up eventually (like lexie) and shes also a surgeon ((wills backstory is that hes a southern boy raised by his mom and abandoned by his dad who was also a surgeon and probably couldve gotten will into a better school and a better hospital at the start but will wanted to pave his own way and changed his name to solace so that there was no connection to his dad))

nico and leo and other interns are eating lunch and theyre talking about what they saw that day and what attendings they were with and somehow it gets to like “”claiming”” which attending is theirs like theyre claiming specialties and somebody mentions percy and nicos like peds is a challenge and man is he hot but i think chase already beat us to him and someone else says zhang and nicos like “ortho?? u can have him” and so leos like “fine who do you want then” and nico says “solace” with no elaboration until they push him and he says that solace is soft and easily manipulated and screwing him would be the easy way to get extra lessons or w.e plus hes hot and definitely not 100% straight,, and theyre all like “yeah whatever nobodys actually gonna sleep with anybody we’re just picking specialties whats wrong with you” so nicos like fine u wanna bet? ill ask him out by the end of the week

nicos sitting at the bar across the street and will comes up to him and asks if he can buy nico a drink (shot of tequila) and nicos like “but youre my attending” and wills like “its one drink” and this is where nico gets manipulative and will mentions that hes noticed nico watching him all week and will’s requested that nico be on his service soon so that he can watch a lot closer and all the flirting leads to them sleeping together and driving to work together the next morning despite the fact that nico has to be there so much earlier than will for rounds and when nicos changing into his scrubs somebody points out the hickey on his chest and nicos like “oh yeah i slept with solace last night,, he even requested i be on his service so wheels are in motion and i’ll leave you all in my dust in no time” and then he leaves for rounds

will brings nico coffees and kisses his cheek all the time and they eat lunch together sometimes when nico isnt eating with the other interns and its all seeming much less manipulatey and a whole lot more datey so they call nico out on it but he waves them off bc no way he doesnt actually like will hes just trying to get ahead and did he mention that he got to close on will’s surgery today? until will drags nico into an on call room one day and hugs him and kisses him and talks about losing a patient and nico realizes that wills not defenselessly soft but actually still pretty tough and wills like “ok theres no use crying over this more lets go to the skills lab and ill show u what i did bc im still ur teacher too right”

wills sitting around in the attendings lounge with frank and percy and reyna and theyre picking on will for dating an intern bc nicos obviously just using him for extra lessons or w.e and wills like “no hes not” and theyre all like uhhh yeah he is?? And wills like “well what about annabeth?? dont yall think shes using percy for stuff??” and frank and reyna laugh but percy doesnt get it and reynas like “i was talking to him yesterday and when i asked him about you he talked strictly about the medicine and nothing about you” and percy says “yeah annabeth heard him talking to the other interns about how much he was getting out of your relationship” and will gets pouty and hes like “no way yall just misheard him or something that can’t be right” and frank is like “stop offering him extra lessons and see if he sticks around” and wills like “i dont like this conversation anymore” but he doesnt bring it up to nico

will ends up ignoring nico for a few days and feels terrible about it and one day he sees nico sitting with his head in his hands so will calls out to him and nico stands up and immediately passes out and will flips out (nicos appendix burst) and nico gets rushed into surgery and will’s at his bedside when he wakes up

nicos pretty out of it and pumped full of pain medicine and nico tells will that he has to tell him something and says that he was manipulating will bc hes soft but he doesnt want to manipulate will anymore bc he likes will like, a lot bc hes pretty and funny and nice and soft but not soft in a bad way,, and will just tells him to sleep and he’ll be there when nico wakes up and then when nico wakes up for real will kisses him says “so i hear you’ve been manipulating me for extra lessons” and nicos like “uhh idk what youre talking about” and wills like “i caught on but dont worry im not mad bc i know you how u really feel” and will lets nico suffer for a second before he smiles and tells nico what he said to will before and nicos like “youre a jerk” and wills like “a jerk you like”

flash to the future and nicos in his kitchen in his pajama pants and hes standing at the island with a suture kit practicing on bananas or something and will comes up behind him and wraps his arms around nico and asks whats going on and nico says hes practicing for his solo surgery but he cant get this one stitch right and will should help him and wills like “or i could help you relax a little bit” and starts kissing nicos neck and shoulder and nicos like “cmon i have to practice” and wills like “call this practice working with distractions” and nicos like “i dont think these are the kinds of distractions i’ll be facing”

#solangelo #mine #vaguely outlined ideas

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crows-murder · 5 years ago

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ADHD Mac

oh yeah im doing this

there are two things im 100% about Angus MacGyver

1 he is a bi disaster

and 2 he has ADHD

before elementary school, no one really thought anything was out of the ordinary with Mac. his parents thought his hyperactivity and inability to focus well was normal for a toddler.

even if they got suspicious, Ellen got sick and she became a priority, not Mac’s odd behavior.

after Ellen MacGyver’s death, James couldn’t even look at his son, seeing his late wife in his blue eyes and blond hair, much less worry about his son’s attention problem that were increasingly frustrating the teachers.

Mac’s teachers in first grade aren’t too hard on him and his wandering attention and inability to sit still for too long since his mother had died recently.

they blame it on the trauma of losing a mother and dismiss it, though get more frustrated with Mac.

as early as second grade, Mac shows signs of having an exceptionally sharp mind, but his teachers are frustrated with him because he can’t seem to concentrate in class and struggles with his homework. Mac gets exceptional grades despite that.

his grades are so good the administration bumps him up two grades.

Mac starts fifth grade at 8, but it doesn’t get easier for him, or less frustrating.

he has occasional emotional outbursts, he’s always fidgeting, leaves a lot of tasks unfinished and has problems focusing. the other students find him weird on top of him having skipped two grades and he has no friends other than Bozer.

Mac works on his homework for hours, trying desperately to focus long enough to finish it, missing obvious details and getting reprimanded by the teachers.

his father becomes more secluded so Mac can’t ask him for help, and instead tries to force himself to study until his head hurts and the words swim around the paper like unintelligible squiggles.

Mac’s teachers complain about his poor organisation skills, unable to understand that this “mess” is Mac’s own version of organized.

Mac feels like no adult believes him when he says he can’t focus in class, that he couldn’t finish the homework, so he stops trying to convince them and instead takes it in.

he’s in sixth grade when his dad leaves for good, and it makes Mac’s already low self-esteem worse and wonders guiltily if James left because Mac struggled with simple tasks.

and so he works even harder, makes more efforts, tries harder.

it’s a real struggle that drives Mac’s frustration to tears many times, but it never feels like it’s enough. he still struggles working in group projects, he procrastinates, he loses track of time.

sometimes he can’t even physically bring himself to do his homework and ends up rushing it in the morning.

and of course, sometimes he gets lost in a personal project for hours on end without even realizing it.

Mac was always fidgeting, and started twisting up paperclips to keep his hands occupied and found that it helped focus his mind on the task ahead.

people thought he was distracted, but twisting paperclips meant that he was actually focusing much more easily.

as Mac grew older, he still couldn’t take criticism well. only Bozer really knew this, and even light criticism could make his low self-esteem plummet.

this paired with Mac being often bored and under-stimulated (mainly in school) made Mac’s school experience difficult.

he graduates at 16 and goes straight to MIT where things slightly get better, feeling like some of the stress of grade school finally leaving him and giving him more room to breathe.

when his grandfather's call came, Mac was 18 and finally felt like things were going right.

he went to join the Army, hoping his history of lack of focus won’t hinder him much.

in Afghanistan, Mac is (usually) able to put all his focus on the IED and forget the world around.

the other soldiers think he’s just a really good EOD tech who can ignore the gunfire surprisingly well, but it’s actually because oh his hyper-focused brain.

when he and Jack are discharged and hired by DXS, Mac starts to suffer from secondary depression.

he finally goes to see a doctor who gives him his diagnosis and prescribes him antidepressants and suggests he sees a mental health professional.

Mac does and he gets diagnosed with ADHD and his prescribed ADHD medication and his doctor even suggests seeing a therapist.

despite Mac's hatred for pills, he still takes his antidepressants, but refuses to take the ADHD meds, refusing to be dependent on pills for the rest of his life.

he manages to keep it a secret from everyone, even Bozer.

but Mac decides a therapist would be helpful, and so he schedules a meeting.

and then he keeps going, every week.

therapy helps.

a lot.

though he felt like he was back to square one, like in school, feeling under-performing, but only this time with mild depression.

his therapist explains that the depression was caused by his brain being constantly under-stimulated, and of course war didn’t help.

over the months, Mac slowly gets better and feels like he’s finally moving forward, and talking to someone about a mental issue he never knew he had really helped him.

he feels guilty not telling anyone, but he isn’t ready to tell them yet.

months later, Mac decides to tell Bozer and sits him down and explains to his best friend how he was recently diagnosed with ADHD (Bozer told him it explained a lot) and mild depression because of it

Bozer understood and respected Mac’s wish to keep it under wraps and tells him that if Mac needed anything, he could always (always) come to Bozer. Mac felt even more grateful for his best friend (I love their friendship oh wow--)

no one but Bozer knew for a long time.

it wasn’t even added to his file, so not even Patti (later Matty) or Oversight (screw him anyways) knew.

after fifteen months on antidepressants Mac’s therapist decides he could come off the medication.

the withdrawal is… rough

but Mac refused to take any days off (despite what his doctor said), lest he roused suspicion.

Mac just powered through the intense stomach cramps, sweating, shivering and nausea as best as he could.

Jack was suspicious, but Mac assured him it was just a stomach bug, and Jack let it be since he could see no physical wounds that could cause this.

Mac’s withdrawal lasted a little over three weeks, and Bozer was trying to be there for his best friend as best as he could.

Mac would sleep in fits, threw up every other night and couldn’t stand eating or even looking at anything salty or sweet

when Mac started to get better, looking and feeling more healthy, Bozer took him out to one of the best restaurants in LA as a way to celebrate and made Mac pancakes for breakfast all week.

Mac told him it was entirely unnecessary, but Bozer cut him off by telling him that if someone could beat depression, it was worth celebrating.

it effectively shut Mac up and made him wonder for the thousandth time how he was lucky enough to meet someone like Bozer.

for the whole week, Mac is in a much happier and brighter mood than he’d been in in a long time.

it took everyone by surprise and caused Jack to ask if he was okay. Mac had just smiled and said that he’d never been better.

Bozer was just glad to see Mac act the way he used to when they were still in grade school. he missed this version of Mac.

Matty being Matty found out bout Mac’s therapy sessions and his antidepressant prescription and ADHD diagnosis and asks him about it (more worried about his well-being than his performance in the field)

Mac apologizes for keeping it a secret but told her that he’d gotten off the antidepressants months ago (to Matty’s relief) and that the ADHD was nothing to worry about.

Mac knows that he won’t be able to keep his therapy sessions and ADHD a secret from everyone forever, but still doesn’t feel ready to tell anyone.

Mac told them one by one, all at different times

he told Jack first, who was concerned for his partner but couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Mac for keeping it to himself.

telling Riley and Cage took a while, but he finally got it out, and felt relieved that he didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore.

after season 3, when Mac gets reinstated, his first order of business is to schedule an appointment with a therapist (Nigerian villages, as it turned out, don’t have therapy clinics)

James MacGyver tries to be the dad he hasn’t been to Mac since he was five, but missed a lot and doesn’t believe his son’s claim to have ADHD.

it destabilizes Mac’s firm belief in the diagnosis and sends him spiraling

Matty is not happy.

you do not want Matty to not be happy with you

whether or not you’re her boss.

she and James have a heated discussion when James says he wants to remove Mac’s ADHD from his personal file.

let’s just say Mac’s mental health is something no one talks about unless they want to really go at it with James.

and Mac tells them to drop it. he doesn’t have to listen to his father’s opinions (as he is an adult himself) and doesn’t want anyone fired on his behalf.

idk if it’s just me really liking the idea of Mac seeing a therapist (boy needs it)

or just thinking that it would explain a lot about Mac (his habit of playing with paperclips, his hyper-focus, etc...)

but i like the idea of ADHD Mac.

also it would make a lot of sense idk

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