#idk if there is an easier method but i decided to do them myself and i did not miss this is the writing aspect

[alo-officialgf]

i spent the last three hours making graphics for the fics 🥹

[konniesreality]

Hey Konnie, I'm going to share my success story with you.

So, for context, I've known about the void for I think over a year and I've been in the LOA community since I was 8. I've also had the most disgusting life all around especially when it came to my spiritual life but that's not important right now.

I've always been lazy when it came to the void, like on one hand I was like "Finally a method that guarantees success no matter what" but on the other hand I was like "Ugh, this is too much I don't feel like doing this right now" and kept making excuses. Because I knew about waking up in the Void State I'd go to bed and just fall asleep after listening to subliminals and affirming thinking that was going to do anything for ME personally. (P.S. just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for you.) I did this for MONTHS and kept wondering why it wasn't working. Like I knew I was lazy but I just really couldn't bother at all...until recently.

I decided that I wanted to change and that I'd go back to the basics of the Void. I switched out the subliminals that I used before and created a fresh playlist. Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA_GYb1XT6i7XafhzWTNCnerDt1x9HOiz I simply worked on fulfilling myself internally and went within entirely. Then, two weeks ago I randomly decided to just "meditate" into the void. So, I just laid down, stayed still and RELAXED. I didn't even think about the Void, my attention was to simply relax and be. Eventually, I did relax to the point my body went slightly numb so I took it as a sign to start affirming for the Void. The affirmations I used are "I am" and "I am void". I started experiencing soooooooo many symptoms such as the floaty feeling, losing my senses, the darkness behind the eyes getting darker (I wanted my void to be pitch black hence why it got dark) also that really weird eye fluttery thing idk what that is called but yeah I had that too. I was literally spinning and my heart was about to jump out of my chest istg BUT I focused on my breathing and my affirmations.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Now, mind you, I've NEVER gotten this close to entering the Void IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. But I kid you not, I felt myself literally DETACH from my body, well I more felt it in my face/head because I couldn't feel my body but you get the point. Like I felt HOLLOW like WHAT. I was internally screaming and I started to smile because I was like "I'm finally entering the void after how long now." Buttttttt when I was literally five seconds away from entering the Void completely my lovely father came in the room to ask me something so I OBVIOUSLY snapped out. (Still salty btw) But I can tell you that I was 90% in the Void and they weren't lying about feeling pure bliss and happiness and feeling calm as well as being one with yourself because I felt it too. And when I "got out" I felt SO SMUG cause I was like, I finally figured out what method works best for me AND I know when and how to do it.

So, my directions in case you want to try it out.

Go to bed around 30 minutes - 1 hour earlier. Or do it when you're going to take a nap, but it works best for me at night. Also, make sure your eyes are like slightly burning, not ask why just trust me. but not to the point it's watering just enough to make sure you're a little sleepy and will make you relax easier because I find that works best.

2. Then, relax your body and allow all thoughts to float by, don't pay any attention to it. Also, focus on your breathing. (You can do breathing techniques but I just went with a slow but natural pace of breathing, for me of course)

3. ANY SYMPTOMS IGNORE THEM ALL!! It may be hard but honestly, it's kind of like ignoring someone when they talk shit- bad example but you knowww. Just focus on breathing and affirmations here.

4. Make sure to affirm when you are ready, trust me you will know because it'll be like a gut feeling. Or when you feel really relaxed like you're in a tropical paradise or something just start to affirm. Also, I would imagine things that I'd be doing in my hr (home reality) because affirming is kinda boring after a while so I interchanged them.

And that's about it, I think the important thing to take away here is to do what works FOR YOU. If you know that this method doesn't work for you but you saw it works for me, that is not an invitation to change your method. Also, remember always that the void IS YOU, it will not exist without you so don't put it on a pedestal. You got this always and have fun living your dream life. You were born a master of the void so no excuses.

Also that new subliminal that you made is LITERALLY the only sub I use now and it's BOMB. But I obviously linked my playlist bc I used to use it.

OMG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! Thank you so much for using my subliminal and most importantly sharing your success! It’s the truth! Find what works for you and R E L A X I know you will get in again!! TSYM for linking the playlist too! 💕💗💗

[bellewintersroe]

Ronald Speirs x reader

Part 3! This should be better than the last part and less of a filler chapter?! I hope anyway.

Anyway, surprise surprise, sorry not sorry, this is smutty asf. Idk what’s wrong with me atm but whatever, I just need to write this whilst I can!!

Tw - 18+, sexual references, sex unprotected AGAIN lmfao, whatever, dirty talk, let’s just see what I end up writing.

Jenny keeps dreaming about Ron, now there’s no distractions with war, she finds the tension between the two of them too much and some how they end up in an office together… talks about fraternising ensue between the pair.

“You’re so good… so fucking good at that.” Ron whined, bucking his hips further up into my own. I was riding him, my hand pressed to his chest as his head dropped back, overwhelmed by the pleasure he was experiencing. He was beautiful, so overwhelmingly perfect, and he just oozed sex appeal.

“Keep riding me like that.” A soft spank was left on my ass cheek, my hips quickening their assault and my knees ached for release. “That’s it… cum for me Jenny, cum all over me.”

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna c-“ gasping, my eyes burst open, scanning around the room wildly. My heart was thumping against my ribcage and my momentary confusion was soon dissolved when I remembered where I was and what had just happened.

A stupid dream, another one. About Ron as well, god, these stupid wet dreams had to stop, what was I, a 14 year old boy?? Glancing around my own room, I was grateful I had my own space, able to not disturb any of the other girls from their slumbers.

As I slumped back down into the bed sheets, I couldn’t help but feel the aching of my core between my legs, sighing, I crossed my legs and attempted to ignore the sensation. I was becoming obsessed with the idea of being around Speirs, I hated it, another few days had passed and I just couldn’t clear my mind of all the nasty thoughts I had about my commanding officer. We could be dishonourably discharged, punished, locked up- even though the war was drawing to an end, the methods of punishment were still severe. My hand didn’t slip anywhere near my underwear this time, I just couldn’t give in to the thought of ruining mine and somebody else’s life. It was easier for me to think that when I wasn’t around him, when he was there, I felt compelled towards him. Fuck.

The following day, I’d spent my day off in the confinements of my bedroom. I’d had a relaxed morning, desperate to avoid the exact same guy I was also desperate to see again. The only time I’d ventured out was to go on a gentle stroll around the lake to meet Betty who would be waiting for me somewhere around the waters edge. It was tranquil, peaceful, I enjoyed myself. That was until I’d bumped into a group of men from a company I didn’t realise. They’d been drinking, and for the most part the majority just smiled and walked past me, but two guys towards the back of the group began nudging one another, sneering towards me. I knew better than to react, so I continued walking past them, praying nothing else would be said until they decided to steer directions and walk up at either side of me. “Hey, pretty, what’s such a nice dame like you doin’ walking all alone?” “I’m meeting somebody.” I politely responded, forcing a smile as I continued my quick pace to my destination. “Oh yeah, who? Your boyfriend?” The other one responded as I simply forced an awkward laugh. “Shut up, Frank, she’s obviously not taken if she’s walkin’ around here alone.” “Uh- I actually am.” I lied, crossing my arms over my chest defensively as I waited for my answer to get rid of them. “Oh, really? What’s his name?” “Where is he?” I winced at their questions, ignoring them again and continuing to walk forwards. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the interaction, especially with both of them being on either side of me. “You don’t speak very much do you?” The one I assumed was called ‘Frank’ questioned, almost stepping in front of me so I had to step around him. That’s where things got weird. Just as I stepped around this ‘Frank’, the other guy stepped straight up behind me, seeming to find it appropriate to place a hand on my lower hip. “Get off me!” I snapped, brushing his hand off and yelping in surprise as I turned around to face the two of them. “Hey!” A third voice erupted, bellowing from across the dusty track. As I turned over, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The moment couldn’t have been any more awkward than if it tried, but of course Speirs had witnessed the whole thing. “Oh great, who is that? Your boyfriend?” The first man leered as I watched Ron practically push straight past the second guy, snatching the other man’s arm. “Touch her again and I’ll break your fuckin’ arm. Both of you what’s your name and company? You’ve got nothing better to do than harass women, huh?” Woah. Even I was intimidated by Ron’s act of dominance. The men learnt the hard way not to mess with me again- or Captain Ronald Speirs. I’d never seen him in such a bad, bad mood and I didn’t know where to look when he and the two men’s commanding officer were practically telling them off like school children. As if the exchange couldn’t get anymore awkward, the men were fully escorted away to be dealt with, both their heads hung sheepishly low. Their commanding officer apologised to me once again before following the disgraced pair with a harsh stomp in his step. “You ok?” I was squinting watching the pair being practically arrested, my face only relaxing when I looked back over to Speirs. He was calm now, he wasn’t all pissed off and protective, even though I found that charming that he’d stand up for me, the way he was so soft now made me feel something deep within my chest. Something other than lust, oh no-

“I’m ok… thank you sir, I should go and find my friend.” “Where are you walking to? I’ll walk with you.” He swallowed as I averted my gaze from his. “To wherever my friend is, sir, Betty’s waiting for me somewhere.” “You don’t have to call me that, you know.” He muttered, beginning to walk besides me as I looked back up to him curiously. “Call you what?” I slowly asked, looking over his jawline that had a slight layer of stubble growing on. The afternoon sun was creating an orange glow across his profile, and I began to find myself admiring him in the most stupidest of moments.

“Just call me Ron.” He gently told me, kicking the dusty dirt below him. His words made me smile, the softness of them surprised me, before I then, of course, panicked that we were suddenly having a one on one conversation. “Okay… S- Ron.” I let out a soft breath of laughter at how normal it felt coming from my mouth. I’d only really called him that once before, and that’s when we slept together in the Eagles Nest. “I’ll have to get used to that.” I admitted. “I think I see your friend.” Ron then responded as I glimpsed up to see Betty waving me over. “Oh, yeah. Thank you for standing up for me earlier, I appreciate it.” Ron’s lips twitched half up as his eyes remained fixated on my own. “You let me know if anybody bothers you again.” Nodding, there was something a lot more innocent about the exchange compared to all the others we had. It felt pure, and it filled me with a sense of warmth. “Thank you, sir.” I quickly spoke, walking backwards, get still facing him. “Ron!” I corrected, before scurrying off to where my friend was.

* ”Then fourteen hundred you can report back to me that it all went smoothly in there.” Winters explained to me as we walked side by side towards battalion headquarters. Winters was busying everybody up, giving them ways to escape the war, whilst half of us nurses had been treat unfairly, he’d managed to get me out of a night shift by going down to a children’s hospital for the morning and visiting there. “Perfect, thank you so much, sir, I appreciate it.” I turned up to the red headed man with a smile on my face. “Good, you’ll be good help in there. It seems slightly more… alive than the night shift does.” “You’ve got a good point there.” I chuckled, entering the building to where a few of the other nurses were gathered around with our superiors. The majority of us had been fixed up with a good reasoning to get us off this unfair treatment, Winters wouldn’t have us being used unfairly.

The only space there was, was besides Captain Speirs at the back, as I walked over I smiled gently, swallowing the lump in my throat at the sight of him. I figured it would be substantially less awkward considering our interaction earlier, I hoped so anyway. Throughout the whole meeting I was only half listening, Ron’s arm would brush up against mine every now and then, and out of the corner of my eye I could see he was so close. If I stepped just the slightest bit closer, we’d be touching, to an outsider it looked normal, but to us it felt like there was something else completely different happening. Maybe that’s what he wanted, to play some kind of game, like cat and mouse. It was dangerous, so risky in a room full of all these people, but I liked the thrill of it. It felt like my breathing was uneasy, I swear he could tell, with one small glance to the side he’d be able to watch over my every movement.

Fidgeting, I moved my hand behind me, to rest on the table, but my fingers had brushed over his warm ones, and if I wasn’t crazy I swear I felt the nudge of his hand against my own. I remained completely still after that, feeling like a prey in that room under a predators beady eyes. Captain Speirs was so close to me, there was barely any room for small movements without grazing over one another. Worst of all, I wanted him to touch me- I wanted to touch him. After all the dreams I’d had about him…

There was a short film to be played, about the army nurses going into Japan. Exactly not what I wanted to think about, the impending threat of war not being over in the pacific somehow seemed even more daunting than everything we’d gone through in Europe. I switched my mind elsewhere, Ron. Avoiding listening to such statements such as ‘suicidal enemy’, I instead glanced down to the darkness that surrounded us in that small room. If he or I were to touch one another, nobody would know. He could probably slip a hand right up my dress and it would all be concealed by the darkness of the room. Sighing, I purposefully inched my hands ever so closer to him. Whilst I didn’t think he noticed, he did rest one hand on the table, the side closest to me. Stopping my movements, I glanced down to my left, making it a little obvious what I was doing. He must’ve noticed, copying my actions and gazing down to where my hand lingered before back up to the short film once again. For a moment, I thought he didn’t like it, so just as I went to retrieve my hand I was shocked when a simple finger ran over mine. A smile grew on my face, it was good it was dark in there because the footage was nothing to be smiling about. I felt his finger tip dance over the skin of my fingers, then my hand, before daring to reach behind me and stop at the tables edge. The small action drove me crazy, I think Ron knew it as well. When the lights were back on both of us acted like nothing had happened, despite the fact I was still breathing in manual mode, I semi ignored him, not knowing what to take from that situation.

Later that afternoon I was doing a few physical exams of the men for their records. I didn’t mind them, they passed time and I usually just got to spend time with the men I’d grew close friends with. It was 7pm, however before I’d got to the last man. “See you later, Alton, can you send in the next guy?” “Sure, I’ll catch you in a bit.” He winked, leaving the room as I ticked off a few more things on the paper before hearing the door shut quickly. “Oh, Captain Speirs, sir.” Scraping back my chair, I moved to stand at attention. “It’s fine.” He was quick to settle the formalities, handing me his papers over. “You’re here for a physical?” I asked dumbfounded as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Yes.” He responded, looking at me like I had two heads. What else would he be hear for? Stupid, stupid.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I shook out of my awkwardness, glancing down to the papers on the table. “So you passed your physical exam by miles… you feeling okay in general?” My eyes widened seeing his physical scores. He was one of the top men, fastest, strongest- no wonder he was now the commanding officer. Ron nodded with a slight pout. “Okay, good.” I pushed the papers to one side, grabbing the stethoscope from the side. “I’m gonna just listen to you heart and breathing, take some blood and then I’ll start examining, come sit over here.” I nodded as he awkwardly took a seat in front of me. I smiled gently, moving over and pressing the stethoscope on his skin, under a loose gap in his shirt. Everything was fine, heart, lungs, but what I felt more awkward about was telling him to strip. “Um, if you just go behind the curtain and undress for me, same as always.” I avoided all eye contact, pretending to busy myself with a pen that I couldn’t find a home for. When I glanced up I noticed Ron attempting to undo his shirt right in front of me, my eyes widened. “Oh no, sir, you gotta go behind the curtain.” My hand landed on his as our eyes met for a brief few seconds. “Oh, okay.”

Within moments Ron was undressed and I was a blushing mess, of course he had his underwear on, but seeing him like this when we weren’t in a sexual situation made me al flustered. “You can come sit back down.” I watched as he sat back in front of me and I began examining, feeling his glands for any sign of bother, there was nothing.

“How much of this are you gonna do?” Ron then cleared his throat as I looked back up, my hand still rested on his chest. “How do you mean?” “As in… what else do you have to examine.” “oh, nothing private.” I sheepishly spoke. “That’s a man’s job, not mine.” An awkward giggle escaped my lips as I pressed over his chest, feeling for any abnormalities. I’d moved in closer, our knees knocking slightly, as I shuffled in my hair hearing him exhale gently. “You got any more after me?” Ron then questioned, my eyes lifting to really recognise how close we were. “No, you’re my last of the day.” My voice came out, barely a whisper as he nodded, a half smile growing on his face. Bashfully, I fluttered my eyes away, my heart rate taking off at a million miles per hour. Once everything was checked, sight, hearing, breathing- Ron was fine, but I however was left completely flustered, a literal mess, I was overheating as well. “You’re all done, everything’s fine.” My hand ran off his shoulder, standing back up from my chair, to push it back to where I got it from. “It is?” Ron spoke as I nodded. “Perfect, yeah. No surprise you got some of the top scores for your fitness earlier.” Ron sheepishly shrugged it off as I picked on the wooden table nervously as he stood up once again in front of me. “Don’t do that.” He winced, a hand covering mine. My gaze directed straight up to his, head tilting back to fully catch sight of him.

“Sorry.” My voice came out weak, like a whisper. “You said I was your last check up, right?” His voice lowered as I nodded, anticipating where this was going. His hand was still on mine, and we’d began to close the gap between us. “Yeah, last of the day. I got more tomorrow.” I averted my gaze one again, seeing him nod from the corner of my eye as his hand slipped off mine. Without thinking, I chased after it, my hand resting back in his again. “Ron, wait.” I stepped closer, borderline freaking out when I realised what I’d just done. Ron’s brows furrowed slightly, his free hand coming up to caress into my hair and over the side of my neck.

“You should go relax tonight.” He muttered, tracing his fingers across the sensitivity of my scalp. “I’m fine.” I sighed into his touch, hearing him hum out before moving closer to fully end the gap between us. Ron kissed me once sweetly, and again, before I felt myself practically dive on him. Shit, I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t get enough of him.

My fingers dug into the bare skin of his back, deepening the kiss as I couldn’t decide whether to yank on his underwear or his body to get even closer to me. The close proximity all day had ruined me, I was already aching desperately over him, and it was so wrong, in a physical exam with one of my superiors. But shit, I couldn’t help it. When my hands fell to his underwear, pushing on the band, he borderline pushed me back onto the desk, body toppling onto mine whilst pushing up my skirt. “I need you.” I admitted. “I just need you to fuck me.” The words came out bolder than what I expected. His fingers snapped at my underwear, stretching them down as he kicked at his fingers, lubricating my aching pussy before I pulled him by the ass into me. From the lack of foreplay I was still a little tight, but god I needed more of him, the second he entered me I let out a relieved sigh, feeling his arms wrap around my body to pull me close. His thrusts began, quick and harsh, filling me up in the way I’d needed. The sexual tension between us couldn’t be contained, and it always came to this in the most sneakiest of times. “Fuck me, sir.” I sighed out, keeping my voice on the low seeing as there was most likely people outside the door. Ron huffed with each thrust as he fucked into me, making the the table jump and move with each pump. He took a few harsh, slow thrusts, before giving it to me exactly how I wanted. One of his hands guided down to my clit, rubbing fast circles over my core as I covered my mouth with one hand.

Ron, knocked this hand away with his chin, attaching his lips onto mine as he groaned into the kiss causing me to scratch at his back harshly. “Please, please- like that, I’ve needed you so bad.” I admitted as he panted out, quickening his pace as he was encouraged by my words.

“Can’t stop thinking about you- about this.” He whispered back, grinding his hips right up to mine now as I let out a yelp maybe a little too loud. His words went straight to my chest, a warm swell filled me up and it caused me to scratch at his back more, Ron letting out a growl at the sensation.

It wasn’t long before I came crashing over the edge, babbling away as Ron moaned into my ear. “Cum all over me, fuck, that’s it.” He growled, biting down on my shoulder as his movements became choppy and strained. “Fuck.” “Cum for me, sir, fuck, I want it so bad.” With one last whimper from me, Ron pulled out and unloaded his seed onto my thighs, his high following mine shortly after as we both laid there breathing heavily. He was collapsed onto me, his cum rubbing up all over us uncomfortably. Grimacing, I glanced down as he followed my eyes. “Oh.” With that he was yanking tissues out of the box, wiping me clean before he did himself. I sat up on the table, still coming down from my high as Ron turned back to me, reaching forwards to do up my buttons. “So, is this becoming a regular thing now?” He practically smirked as my eyebrows raised. “I don’t know is it?” I straight up asked.

“Well… seems like it.” He muttered as he pulled his underwear back up, my eyes averting from his still evidently hard bulge. The white briefs didn’t do much to conceal anything, let alone something that bi- “shouldn’t we be more… careful?” “what d’ya mean?” He dumbly asked as I snatched my underwear back off the floor, pulling them back up. “I mean… you know, careful. If somebody finds out we’re both done for.” Ron watched me speaking with an unreadable expression. “You’re my commanding officer, I mean.” I mumbled out, shrugging with an awkward kinda chuckle leaving my lips.

Ron cleared his throat and moved around to retrieve his uniform that was discarded on the patient bed. “Yeah, suppose so.” Suppose so? How was he acting so nonchalant about this? His laid back attitude confused me, I’d expected him to be slightly more uptight, concerned, or maybe that was just me deflecting my emotions on him. “We should, I mean.” Ron corrected as I nodded, nudging down my dress to flatten any creases. Once dressed, Ron inhaled sharply like he was about to announce something important, but it fell flat. “Hm?” I frowned, not knowing how to fill the awkward silence. “I’ll see you… on patrol, tomorrow.” He too seemed a little awkward. After the intensity of our love making, our mundane conversations felt weird and unfitting. “Oh, I’m not going. I’m in the hospital tomorrow morning, so… I won’t be there…”

“Really? Forget what I said then.” He shook his head, fastening the last of his buttons on his uniform. He looked so handsome stood there, all tall and brooding, if it wasn’t so goddamn awkward then I would’ve been overjoyed. “I’ll see you later then, sir.” I smiled softly, fixing all the crumpled papers on my desk which we had messed up previously. “See you.” With one last nod of a goodbye, he’d left the room. A good 10 seconds later I’d noticed he’d left his god damn tie. Fuck. I contemplated running up after him, but then I didn’t want to seem desperate if I did so. Maybe he’d come back for it? Or maybe not, it had been too long of me sat there contemplating for him to have remembered. I was overthinking to the next level, so I simply left the tie there on my desk, gathered all my papers and left the office which I probably could never look at the same again. I was in trouble, big trouble- with myself.

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Here is the link to the chapter before: https://www.tumblr.com/bellewintersroe/714888831358451712/ron-speirs-x-fem-reader?source=share

[bonespired]

Cleaning Bones: The Cheap Burying Method

When I decided to jump into this skull-collecting hobby, I kind of made a roadmap for myself. Good thing it is simple! I just needed to:

Find bones.

Clean them.

The first step is done I found my bones in the ways I talked about in the longer post I made about how and where to find bones when you are living in the city, so that part is done - now I am happily owning several stinky, rotting and disease-infected bones. Now I just have to clean them!

(Just to be sure: in this post under the words "cleaning bones" I strictly mean get rid of the meat/other soft tissue, not degreasing and disinfecting! Degreasing already has its own beginner-friendly post - which was reblogged so many times, I couldn't believe it!

This is easier to say than do because there are several options for cleaning bones from bugs to chemicals:

The complete list looks like this - you can clean bones by:

letting them rot on the surface

macerate it, which means let them rot in a bucket of water

boil them

toss them to the bugs - beetle colony

bury them

Not every method is suitable for every individual or even for every bone. Someone living in a busy neighbourhood on the 6th floor probably won't let the head rot naturally or start a beetle colony. So let's start simple and talk about the

Rot Pot aka. The Burying Method

The burying method basically means you bury your bones under ground and leave them to do their things naturally. There are some pros and cons to this method:

Pros:

it is doable in a flat (will tell you how!)

it has zero smell - nothing!

it is cheap!

doesn't require your time or effort at all (during rotting)

Did you just say I can rot carcasses in my flat without ANY smell and constant health department visits????

I did! You can totally rot away things even if you don't live in the middle of the forest - all you need is a plant pot that is big enough for your carcass, soil, some pebbles if you like (explaining in a sec), a plant if you like it, maggots if you feel like and you are good to go!

So the very basic equation for this is the carcass + pot + soil = bones. Your starter pack can be only the pot and soil. You grab the pot, fill it with one layer of soil - I like to make it quite thick to make a carcass sandwich here: I want my skull to be in the middle, so I am aiming for circa the same amount of soil on the bottom and on the top as well. Put your carcass into the pot and cover it with more soil. Keep it moist, so water it, like you'd water a plant and you are done.

For dirt, you can have plant dirt, bought in a store or you can bring some dirt in from nature. Pro, nature dirt has all the nice living bacteria colonies in it, hungry for some meat. Con, it can look weird if you start to shovel up the dirt of your local park. If you can get natural dirt, go for it!

If you wanna go fancy, you can put some pebbles into the pot as the first layer, so pebbles -> soil -> carcass -> soil. The pebbles' job is to ensure drainage. Drainage, you may ask? What kind of drainage? Well, water ofc and eh... body juices. Do not worry, nothing nasty will come out of your rot pot! But you have to let the rot pot drain, it won't be like a flood, trust me, I buried several things and no horror scene happened, ever. It is more for the water than the juice, just like for any plant case.

As for the maggots, you can go to a fish store - like a fishermen's store? To the store where you can buy rods and such things? Where do people go to get their baits for fishing? Idk what it is named in English, so go to the fish bait store and ask for maggots. We call them "bony"s over here, they eat rotting things. You can sprinkle these guys as sugar confetti over your bones and bury them with it! They will be fine, happily munching away on the flesh - maybe some of them will be outraged, disagreeing with being buried alive and they climb around on the surface, but once they realise the good thing is under them, they will deep dive into the ground. In this case, however, keep your pot outside. These guys become flies over 2-3 days and then they will be ready to discover the world, so they will be swarming and you definitely do not want to keep them in your living quarters.

You can also get free maggots by leaving the carcass out in the open for a day or two as a peace offering to the Fly Gods, but your carcass will definitely smell during the offering.

You can plant a plant(??? English ffs) over it, making it fancy. That is just for the fanciness.

And that's it, job done! You can totally forget about the pot, except for the watering and you can chill around.

But, like every method, this also has cons:

the waiting time: it won't be done tomorrow

not knowing when it is done

stains. on the bones. from dirt.

small bones are falling apart

oh and you have to skin your carcass!

Skinning?????

Ah, yessss..... You know, skin is problematic. But the real asshole here is creatine. Creatine is the stuff that builds up nails, whiskers and fur and they refuse to rot away easily. It takes a significantly long amount of time to dig out a corpse fully cleaned, with no flesh and fur. Ain't have years to wait for that, so to avoid rotting skin with still attached creatin to it - also skin loves to stick to the bones like a glove, especially on the head, I swear to God.... - you have to get rid of it beforehand. This means you have to skin your carcass. Your possibly smelly carcass. Not everyone has the stomach for it or the heart. I skinned a fresh rat I had found outside - and I am obsessed with rats. I seriously adore them, I have pet rats, I rescued rats, I supported our local wild rat colony with rat-friendly food during winter, and I love the buggers. I basically worship them. I did some anatomy studies of them for my art and I love biology, but there is a difference between actually skinning the animal you love and drawing the muscles. So I really wanted a rat skull, because I draw lots of rats, need a reference. And I have a rat carcass. But I love rats. But if I let it rot I am risking losing the rat and the skin will be a problem. So I made the decision of skinning. But not only skinning, oh no. You see, I only needed the head. Everything else is just too small for me to put together. So I not only needed to skin the animal I love I also needed to cut the head off of it. And I did exactly that. I wanted the skull more than I wanted to adore and feel sorry for the poor rat. How was it going? I constantly asked her forgiveness - she was dead for hours, I didn't kill her, a cat did - and once I was done and buried and cleaned up, I cried for 20 minutes, thinking about how horrible a rat parent am I because I just skinned a rat and buried its head. It was with me for days. The psychological effect is definitely something you have to think about. Maybe you will find a cat and you are into vulture culture, but also a cat person: then what? Skinning animals, especially the ones we keep as pets can be challenging.

The waiting is over... or is it not?

The other cons factor is the waiting time. It differs from carcass to carcass, how meaty it was, whether was it skinned before, and how big the carcass is.... my rat skull (skinned) was done in under 2 weeks, but a bigger animal, like a skinned sheep, can take a month - month and a half. The bigger the skull is, the more soft tissues it has due to its size, the longer it will be under the ground. But how can you be sure about the end of the process? That's it, you cannot! You have to check it out manually, you have to dig it out to see yourself. And digging out early, well, that is not a pleasant experience.

Stains?

Dirt causes some brown discolouring in the bones. Personally, I like it, I think it is a cool colour! But if you want museum-quality, well, burying is probably not the best method. You can still use H2O2 ofc, but there is the chance some stains stay.

The 3D puzzle problem

And lastly, the problem I hate the most: if you bury a small skull, it will fall apart. Period. Every time. I saw people pulling out fully attached big skulls, but I buried small skulls - you cannot macerate rodents, so I guessed my rat goes into the pot to avoid this problem! And now I have this nice 3D puzzle to put together - yes, I am crying inside.

My rabbit doesn't look better either.

You wouldn't even think how fragile, thin and small pieces are part of a skull. And now I have the luck to know. Yaaaaay.

If you wanna get into bone restoration, this is a great starter package for you, but if not, then once again: burying is not for you.

Overall, burying is indeed a flat-friendly method, and takes little effort - well, not counting the skinning - smell-free, which is a big pro. I did not lose a tooth with burying, everything rots away wonderfully - even too well. But there is the skinning, there is the small skull problem, and staining can be a problem for many... personally, I will ditch this method because I did not want to get into restoring small skulls, but now I have to. For small skulls, I rather secure them somewhere and let nature take its course. (I never want to skin a rat ever again, so I will do my best to restore that skull.)

[potsiefaerie]

Hey I struggled with self harm for a really long time, myself, but I don't much anymore and I'm happy to chat privately as well but here's my like, three big takeaways, below the cut:

1. Try to reduce the amount of harm. That's the first step. Do something less violent, do it a little less often. Snapping rubber bands against your skin is less violent than cutting, for example. It's not black and white, I'm doing it vs I've stopped completely. If you manage to avoid it once, or to do something a little less harmful? Take the win. Keep trying. Don't get discouraged the next time if you go back to your usual method; just try again next time. You're trying to increase your batting average (baseball metaphor, idk if you're American).

There are apps that will help will a cool down clock and suggestions of distractions etc, because sometimes the urge will fade off you can just wait it out for an hour or so. I've seen "Calm Harm" recommended a lot, but it wasn't available when I was starting my own recovery.

And it is recovery, similar to addiction recovery. (12 step programs work for some people, but I don't personally recommend them - some of the stuff they teach is good but some of it is a little fucked up I think and there's very little proof they help people quit long term; statistics don't bear it out.)

2. You will probably have fewer urges when you feel more in control of your life, so that's the big picture here, the direction you should be focusing in. Agency and self sovereignty. The flip side of that, of course, is that you have to be realistic about your limitations and outside forces beyond your control. I struggled with this hugely as a chronically ill teen with a not-so-great gone life; there was So Much I couldn't control. But you get a Lot more freedom at 18 - that comes with the need to take responsibility for everything you do, which is also stressful but it's a different kind of stress.

There's two kinds of self care, as they say - self soothing, and changing your circumstances. Self soothing is all the stuff you should do when you already have the urge to self harm: eat a snack, read a book, take a bath, watch a show, listen to music, cuddle a plushie, go for a walk, etc etc.

Changing your circumstances is harder and takes longer and has to be done in infuriatingly small steps one at a time. But sometimes there's more you can do than you think you can. I eventually realized I had the urge most often at night when other people were sleeping - I decided to change my sleep schedule, going to bed an hour earlier, and getting up a half hour earlier, which both gave me a little more time to sleep and also reduced the number of days a month I had the urge to harm myself by a couple. I also struggled with insomnia, so I tried to treat that by taking a benadryl on days it was really bad, because I didn't have access to more care than that, but it worked sometimes and I knew that taking one benadryl wasn't going to hurt me. Now as an adult I have a prescription for insomnia when it strikes.

So when you're thinking of changes, think small. Capsule wardrobes help a lot of people avoid the stress of choosing outfits in the morning, or maybe it would be easier to pick out the night before. Having a water bottle next to my bed massively improved my mornings because my POTS makes me wake up feeling dehydrated. I can't shower first thing in the morning so I shower at night usually - and I have a shower chair and I don't wash my hair everyday. Little things add up, and as you get more agency you'll have bigger choices, too.

3. I used to call myself an empath. I was hypersensitive to everyone's emotions and felt like I couldn't shut them out and that they were my problem to solve and to fix and react to....... But a lot of that was bad boundaries of the people in my direct vicinity (my parents mostly) and my own bad boundaries because it was very difficult to hold boundaries with my parents. But I learned to hold boundaries with other people: teachers, classmates, even friends. I decided not to react to implications, to emotional spillage. If they wanted something from me, I wasn't going to do it unless they asked, or unless I really wanted to. I stopped feeling like I needed to take care of the emotions of everyone around me, and in time I learned to shut it out, unless I want to use that super power to analyze a situation, but it doesn't cause me the same stress it used to. I can be aware of other people's emotional states without it affecting my own, without taking it in, anymore. I am shielded and contained within my own energy, and safe from other people's emotional weather.

Because that's really what it is, when it's ours or someone else's: strong emotions are weather. They can be huge storms or gusts of wind that can take a roof clean off a house - but they Pass. A lot of time, people who deal with their own emotions well are just letting themselves feel without acting on it, until it passes.

That's the big secret. Just learning to hold still through your emotional weather. Pushing it down won't work for long, but you can learn to do that until you're somewhere safe for a moment, but then you need to feel it, to let it out. Cry if you need to. Tear up paper, make art - there are lists out there with a lot of suggestions. I find journaling really helpful but only if it's truly somewhere other people won't ever find it - like inside an app that requires a password every time you open it. It's not a school assignment; sometimes my entries are just a lot of curse words and keyboard smashes and the kind of threats that would get me banned from Twitter. Whatever gets the emotions Out. And then, once you're calmer, make decisions and take action.

This is obviously much harder if the emotional situation is a conversation with someone else, but if it's someone who is supportive of you having boundaries, say something like "I can't think straight right now, please let me take a moment to cool down and think and then I'll get back to you." If they give you push back about it, you can try to hold firm. I managed this with friends as a teen but with my parents it only made things worse, so use your best judgement there. But even being able to do it with just a few people will help you build the skill and that will serve you well later on.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you! 💜💙💜

How does one cope with stress normally? How does one not want to hurt themselves to deal with the stress???

So many damn emotions are coasting through me and I just want them to stop. I want to be normal without stress pain or worry. I want to just handle stress and pain like a boss and not be so damn emotional.

But when you’re born an empath like me, that’s not the case. You can never be normal and the emotions you feel aren’t just yours but everyone else’s too.

Some days are easier than others and other days I simply just do enough to get through the day.

Am I okay? Yes.

Do I feel strong? No. But I think over time I will. Getting out of a rough place last year changed me and for the better. I’m on the path to healing. And I’m becoming happier and stronger in the process.

Honestly I think it’ll get easier with time, well I sure hope so.

Don’t know if any of this made sense or not but thanks for listening

[illusionsofcontrol]

Any fangan tropes you really enjoy? and some you can’t stand?

I admittedly haven't read/watched many fangans, and I'm not sure if there's any fangan-specific tropes that I like. That is, it's not really anything different from general story tropes I enjoy. But I guess I do love it when they can make me feel genuinely bad for the killer. I'm not saying every fangan killer must be utterly sympathetic (in fact that would be quite boring in itself), but I like seeing that sort of tragedy when it's pulled off well. As you can probably tell from THV's plot, I also like it when some characters know each other pre-game. I think it adds more drama!

I also do like it when fangans don't follow the Danganronpa formula to a T in favor of the writer's own style. I don't want someone's imitation of Danganronpa, I want someone else's unique take.

So I guess the tropes I dislike would be involve the opposite of that, when fangans try too hard to be like Danganronpa? I already dislike a lot of Danganronpa-specific stuff like its uncomfortably random fan service and the fact that each game insists on following the same fucking formula, so seeing fangans insist on following that too is just rather uhhh not my thing. I know I did that with WH but that's one of the reasons I'm remaking it lol.

For non-prose fangans (games or animations) I personally do not like when the art style completely replicates Danganronpa's. I think the Danganronpa Another series is a very good example of an art style that blends the DR style with the creator's own style because I can look at the art and know it's a Linuj creation. (I also welcome fangans that don't try to imitate the DR style at all.) But there's some others that just perfectly replicate the DR style and on one hand that is extremely impressive, but on the other hand it's difficult for me to associate said art with a specific project. All those fangans just end up looking the same to me with nothing to really distinguish them, so they don't pique my interest.

This also isn't really a trope but I've also noticed a tendency for fangans to really amp up the graphic content/gore and yes it's more shocking but??? I personally do not think it's very necessary??? 😭 When a really graphic murder happens I just find myself wondering why the killer would go that far especially when their main goal is to not get caught, and usually the reason is not very believable. And when a really graphic execution happens, idk it's just not my personal taste. But I understand what I consider "excessively graphic" is very subjective.

I can't remember if I ranted about fangan murders involving dismemberment on this blog or my regular blog but I'm going to stop myself before I do that again-

(Against my better judgment I decided to rant about it again but I'm putting it under a Read More)

In my opinion, 99% of the time there is no good reason to have a murder involve extreme dismemberment. Decapitation, sure that's a bit much but I can see it happening with some murder methods. When multiple limbs come off??? You're pushing my suspension of disbelief there.

Yes I know this is a very specific thing to dislike in a fangan but I've seen it enough times and it just boggles my mind because a DR killer is not just any killer—their main goal is to get away with the crime. The most common excuse is so the killer can dispose of/hide the body easier, but dismemberment is extremely laborious and time-consuming. Surprisingly, chopping off body parts is not easy at all, and the amount of time spent dismembering someone is time where they can be caught by another person.

It also leaves blood everywhere??? That's just a lot of unnecessary evidence that the killer has to clean up, even if we assume the killer has an outer layer on and/or is able to wash themselves thoroughly. And that stench isn't gonna go away anytime soon even if you wash it. People are gonna notice, especially when they're all in the same confined area.

There are just very few reasons, if any, that I can think of where dismemberment would be the best tactic for a killer to use. 99% of the time I don't believe the killer's reasoning for it and it just feels like the author's poor excuse to have a shockingly graphic death. Rant over, my apologies if you read this far.

[lorbanery]

SKILLS I TAUGHT MYSELF ON THE FLY TO MAKE THIS SHIRT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE QUICK AND SIMPLE:

Pintucks

Pseudo-insertion lace (it's an eyelet fabric instead of lace trim and was able to be machined in, but the main method of "cut fabric, sew in lace" was the same)

Pointed cuffs

Thread-wrapped buttons (I NEEDED TO DO THIS LESS THAN ANY OF THE OTHER THINGS I DIDN'T NEED TO DO but I didn't like the buttons we had and I couldn't start on the skirt 'til @ark-shifter got home with the appropriately colored thread, so ... DORSET BUTTONS APPARENTLY. Actually they were really fun to make)

I didn't learn how to do button-holes by hand for THIS project, but I also want to acknowledge that I did do those buttonholes by hand. Why? Because the button holer on our machine is finicky as fuck (idk if all button holers are this finicky) and it's honestly faster and easier this way and I I actually kind of enjoy doing them!

Oh and I also finished the skirt, but the skirt was pretty straightforward and I didn't do anything unnecessary for it. In fact I DIDN'T do the one thing I was planning on doing that WOULD'VE been unnecessary and instead did the normal simple thing instead.

Someday, when I decide I'm going to make my Halloween costume, I'm going to decide on it with enough time in advance to not be up until 5AM sewing the night before.

Someday I'm going to actually keep to the original simple plan I made instead of, say, deciding to try out adding insertion lace on this shirt that I already decided to overly complicate the sleeves

[thegodwithin]

Hello! I have overwhelming undiagnosed anxiety and depression. (I haven’t been diagnosed because of my parents.) Every time I think of my desire, or something goes wrong in the process of getting it, I feel extremely sick and I almost throw up. The negative emotions I feel are so overpowering that if I don’t spiral into negative thoughts, it subsides and later it gets even worse. I try to ignore it and affirm that I’m god and I shouldn’t be swayed but I can’t help but get anxious and start looking for solutions other than manifesting. What do I to stay in the state of knowing it’s done and be consistent in it without letting my anxiety take over when it seems like I can’t do it? Are there any methods or routines you would recommend for someone like me? I understand that you may say affirm self concept, but affirming doesn’t stop the negative emotions and the spiralling. I know it’s ok to have negative emotions but they invoke negative thoughts that mess up my progress with manifesting. I just think I feel more intensely and worry more than the average person and I need to know that it’s done in order for the 3D to conform. If I continue to worry and look for other solutions, it’s coming from a state of lack which is not good for manifesting. But what do I do when I feel these intense emotions because I can’t ignore them and affirming against them feels like I’m lying and provoking even more negative thoughts. Also how do I deal with comparing myself to others and lacking faith in my manifestation abilities? That’s usually what causes the anxiety. I’ll be like “I wish I was ___ so I don’t have to worry about getting ____” or “if I don’t manifest ___ what will ___ think.” My fuel for manifesting is usually for or because of other people and what they have. It causes me so much stress and lack of faith in my abilities and idk how to stop caring about other people and what they are doing.

sorry this took a while

There seems to be a misconception with the idea of being god. It’s not supposed to mean that you are a perfect being that can’t make mistakes or that you can’t be affected by anything. You can choose to build that assumption and self concept of course but you’re still human. Humans are thinking and feeling beings. Our emotions and our feelings have a purpose, they are feedback from our bodies in regard to the state we are embodying.

full (long) reply under the cut

What being god means is simply that you are the source of everything in your reality. You give life and you take it. With your awareness. Your awareness is the god within you. Your awareness decides what’s true and what isn’t. It is simply by what you are accepting, validating, believing in and paying attention to that you bring it forth in your reality. Your reality will always be a perfect reproduction of what you have within, in your awareness. That’s what being God means.

Whenever I’m feeling really bad or bothered by something, I try to understand why I’m feeling that way. That helps me to look at the situation from a different perspective and then it’s easier to shift my focus into what I would prefer and then I try to embody that instead.

Your thoughts, feelings and emotions are not supposed to be ignored. You can’t run away from them and slap a couple of affirmations on like a bandaid and expect things to change. Emotions are supposed to be released, so don’t suppress them nor be afraid that they mean you are failing. That kind of mindset is not going to help you get anywhere.

Your thoughts, feelings and emotions are coming from somewhere. They are connected to your state, to your self concept, to who you are choosing to be in that moment. What matters is how you respond to them, how you handle them, how you label them and how you accept them. Thoughts by themselves are harmless, neutral, they don’t mean anything. Start paying attention to how you react to them and to why they are coming up in the first place. This will help you to realize who you are being in that moment, what state you are dwelling in.

Affirmations are supposed to help you shift into the state where they feel natural. They’re not a 5 min magical life fix. They are the thoughts you would be having if you were in the wish fulfilled.

Understand that with the knowledge that you are god, should come the realization and acceptance that everything and everyone outside of you is only reflecting different aspects of yourself, your beliefs, your expectations, your thoughts. When you understand that you ARE your entire reality, comparing yourself to others makes no sense. There’s just no point in doing it. You do it because you are living by external made up rules and expectations that you have accepted as true for you. You do it because you are holding yourself in a set of circumstances that you don’t want. Then you proceed to judge yourself based on those expectations and your circumstances. It’s all useless.

Ask yourself, why are you doing all this in the first place? Why do you feel the need to have what others have? To live up to their expectations? What do you actually want?

This is likely related to your self concept. I had a situation a month ago where I was in an argument with a family member and it was ugly and it deeply affected me. But it helped me to realize that I was holding on to a self concept in which I’m not taken seriously, I’m not respected by others, I’m not listened to. The people in my life were only reflecting that back to me by the way they were acting towards me.

Nothing about yourself or your reality has to be a fixed fact. You choose everything that shows up, including your own self. So why choose to embody and identify with undesirable circumstances? You can make a decision right now, to no longer accept yourself as someone who suffers from mental issues. Stop identifying and labeling yourself with something that doesn’t benefit you.

The way to change yourself, and as a side effect change your external world, is by going within and giving yourself exactly what you want. Go in your imagination and satisfy yourself as much and as often as possible. There are no restrictions or limitations. You are truly free to be whatever you want in your mind. Allow yourself to feel it all. Make it into a daily practice. It might feel fake and awkward at first but with time and persistence you get used to it and then you start thinking FROM that reality. And it becomes a change within, a change of self, you are thinking and feeling as a different person now, so your 3d world will have no choice but to simply and naturally reflect that back to you.

The goal with conscious manifesting should be getting to know yourself, realizing who you are choosing to be on a daily basis, and coming back to your true endless self, awareness.

Release yourself from your self imposed imaginary shackles and allow yourself to become who you want to be in your mind.

Hope this helps

[thisdreamplace]

Hi!! Idk if you know plutos gate but I used one of his methods to figure out my true self concept of myself, but now idk how to change it :(

I realized that I have this internal thing where I don’t allow myself to have certain things, like lose weight or get into my desired sports varsity team. I’ve always had this limiting thing with me, and now everything is starting to make sense. The environment and people that I grew up with all influenced my core beliefs of myself. I always thought that certain things that seem too big were too good for me, and I would think that I wasn’t good enough and that only certain people get the good stuff.

I would think that I wasn’t skinny enough even though I am?? And that I wasn’t good enough to make it into varsity team even though I literally was. I would limit myself to never get first and to never get what I want. “You were so close” “you were second choice”

I am so lost now, idk what step to take next… I need to change my life but I can’t even think where to start.

hi :)) i do know caleb’s method, i think it’s great tbh.

so the thing about diving into your deep beliefs is that it gives you the key to a new door. when you truly know what deep stories you held onto, it becomes easier to look at them in the face and say “i no longer choose you” — that’s essentially what happens.

so it seems you kind of went in the other direction. you found out the old story was and you clung onto it, rather than began to let go of the indentification with it. but no biggie. all you have to do now is decide on the new story, and stick to that one. you are very clear on what the old story is now, so you will be prepared and aware when it tries to pop up. it’s okay, this is a good thing because now you can go “oh, i remember you. i don’t identify with you anymore.” and then remind yourself of the true you, your new identification, your new story. whatever you want to call it.

you can do this with any method but i like affirmations, not in a way where i repeat them but more like reminders. but yeah, this is essentially how it works. you sit with the old story when it pops up, and feel it out, but also remind yourself it’s not true/it’s not you anymore. don’t resist it, allow it and know that it is simply clearing out. as you get used to choosing the new story more and more.

i hope this helps 💓

[ssweetleaf]

i once read something that said that even if you don't shift, it gets you closer and closer to shifting and that's why you shouldn't stop even if you're frustrated because you will never know if the night you decided to stop trying wasn't going to be the night you were gonna shift<3

the day i'm trying to shift i usually do everything during the day to kind of convince myself that this is my last day for a while in this reality. i have the mindset that yeah, this reality is cool, but there are infinitely more of them, that are even cooler and they are all open and waiting for me! i do reality checks, this one is weird, but i pretend that there is someone else in the room from my dr, i once wrote a letter to james as if we were friends in this reality and it made me feel so much closer to my dr! i also try to get all my work done to be as relaxed as i possibly can. and when i go to bed i start by meditating for a bit, just to calm my thoughts down and just have a mindset that i'm actually going to shift tonight, i say some affirmations (shifting is easy for me, i have no problems with shifting to my dr). i put my favorite theta waves on and then i count to 100 (sometimes i say i have already shifted between each count). when i'm done counting there are two ways:

1) i say i am (i took it from the julia method) as many times as i feel like it, usually till i get some symptoms (tingling, numbness, the feel like i'm floating). then i just start to visualize my dr room. i think as if i'm already there, i imagine that i'm looking around the room and i touch all the things that are there - it's great for when you are trying to convince yourself that you're already there because you can imagine what it feels like to for example touch a desk (because you already know how it feels from cr). and when i'm absolutely sure that i'm there i go to sleep:)

2) i do the staircase method, it's one of my favorite ones! idk if you've heard of it. here is the perfect description of it, because if i was to explain it i would probably forget about half of the things lol. i know that this method seems like a lot to remember about and i was pretty scared of using it at first bc i was sure i would mess something up, but you actually just have to go with the flow. read it twice or something and once you start actually doing it, it will be much easier than it seemed like :)

and yeah. that's pretty much it. but please remember that it's just my experience and your journey can be very different!! so it's ok if something doesn't work for you, u will create your own path<3 good luck bby!

ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ!!! ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵒʷ ᶜᵃⁿ ʰᵉ ˢᵉᵉᵐ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˢᵒ ᵈᵒᵐⁱⁿᵃⁿᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵘᵇᵐⁱˢˢⁱᵛᵉ&ᵇʳᵉᵉᵈᵃᵇˡᵉ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ

— 🌱

wow thank you! honestly you do too much for me bby ily ily 🥲

i’m definitely gonna give it a try for the whole week, and hopefully i succeed!! but i’m gonna think positive, don’t worry bby :’)

and thank you for the link! i’ve read it a couple times so i might try that, I’ll see how i feel at bedtime lmao

i hope you’re doing alright!! how was your day, my love? <33

[artoodeeblue]

Weird questions for one blue writer: 2, 5, 8, 15, 22, 25 :) Also, if you feel like it, 17?

HI HI HI!!

2 - If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I think I could! I've always enjoyed writing by hand (and I still learn things better if I write them down on a notepad!) It would give me an opportunity to go back to my roots, when I scribbled stories in horrible handwriting all over my school lessons fshgsf. also I think pen, specifically fountain pen for the style B)

5 - Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Never write without some music in my ears. It helps me "escape", imagine myself in the action. Makes it easier also to focus on sensations other than sight, which I tend to focus on instinctively. Having something in my ear reminds me other senses are just as important to describe! (Idk if this counts as superstition sorry fsghk)

8 - If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I would write about someone rummaging through old stuff - an attic, an old room, something dusty and forgotten. Gradually, the bric-a-brac transforms into a series of objects with their own significance and history. A saxophone, a glittery single-use camera, fairy lights, a cross pendant... Maybe the story ends with the person, smiling, crying, or maybe an image of the bric-a-brac laying on the side of the road, waiting to be picked up by the garbagemen. Idk something to do with memories and usefulness?

15 - Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

Write in the margins: only when I'm studying them for school. Dog-ear: nope! Read in the bath: I used to when I was young, until I dropped the book in the water fkghkfd. Do I judge: nah, you do you! Can we still be friends? Ofc <3

22 - How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I am. So disorganised it's insane. I frantically write down ideas when they come to me and never bother putting them all together. My ideas are spread out between my phone notes app, my OneNote, my wip document, and the Cloud. Good luck finding any semblance of logic! I do, however, have separate folders for fanfiction and original writing. Everyone applaud.

25 - What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

One time in university Felix and Maggie (twins from my original novel) dressed up as each other for Halloween. Felix got so into it he stopped cutting his hair for nine months to get the right length, and loved the result so much he decided to keep it long. He also got into nail polish because of that stunt. Maggie just stole his shirt and hung an earring from her ear and called it a day.

17 UNDER THE CUT!!

17 - Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Ohhh how to answer this without too many spoilers!! Okay here's a few lore points for my novel The Rapture:

The technology for space travel was developed in the mid twenty-second century. Calliope, originally a telecommunications mega-corporation, converted to shuttle fabrication and space-travel engineering and research, and was the first company to patent the technology allowing for human travel. Shortly after, most research funds, public or private, were redirected towards space travel, causing a stall in many other fields.

Calliope now owns a third of all shuttles that are currently leaving Earth. Attempts to counter its growing influence on British (and world) politics have been widely unsuccessful, and its recent marketing campaign was the highest-budget campaign ever recorded.

At the time the novel begins, there have been 43 Calliope "shuttles" (each carrying about 10 000 people) launched to the three habitable exoplanets for the Earth Mass-Evacuation Program (EMEP), Hermes III, Proserpina, and Gaia 656.

Maggie and Felix were born January 7th, 2152 to Dr. Raheela Lahiri (physics engineer at Calliope) and Harold Morland (head of public relations at, you guessed it, Calliope). They both wish they hadn't been.

[subtract-me-from-your-heart]

Welcome to part 2 of ADHD baking with Sin (click here for part 1). Although I will pat myself on the back today as I feel I've done... fairly well staying focused?

Anyway, once the cakes cooled to room(ish) temperature, I wrapped them in plastic wrap and stuck em in the freezer. I find that if they're chilled, it's a little easier to deal with them. Took me a minute to decide what to do next, but I had a lot of strawberries to cut up, so I did that next. The bananas also need to be cut up, but that is gonna wait until the last minute for obvious reasons.

Strawberries SLICED. Time to make some Swiss Meringue Buttercream. Idk why but I decided to try a new recipe, which you can find by clicking here.

Separating eggs is bullshit, just for the record. I actually managed to do it this time without tainting any of the whites with a broken yolk, but jfc it's annoying. My main method to waste as few eggs as possible is to separate them into either a small bowl or glass so that if I screw it up I'm only wasting one egg. Lol.

I love to use this ratty double boiler. It's a hand me down from my mom and it works really well. It's probably from like 1975 lmao.

I'm not gonna post a lot of pictures of the buttercream process because you can find videos and shit of that online lol. While it's whipping up though, I'm going to start prepping the cakes!

I like to use this cake spinner thingy I use to frost to also trim my cakes and slice em in half. Big serrated knife is my best friend.

Say your fuckin prayers, cake.

It's not really something I can easily photograph, but the idea is you cut a little groove halfway down the side of the cake with your knife and spin the cake without moving your knife. As you go around, eventually the cake will be cut in half. I do a horrible job at the "Not moving the knife" thing but I got some decent layers out of it. Back in the freezer they go so they're as sturdy as possible when I get ready to assemble.

Alright bitches. It took me several minutes to find the pastry brush but now that I have... CAKE. ASSEMBLE!!!

Soaking the cake with the strawberry simple syrup.

There may be a smarter way to do this but who cares!

Added the buttercream and realized I didn't put a cake board under the thing which would make it uhhhh REEEEAL FUCKIN HARD to move it later lol. Added one!

Now to add the fruit. For the banana slices, I mixed up some honey, water, and lemon juice in a little pan and dunked the banana slices in there. Hopefully that will stop them from getting too weird and brown.

Idk why but I decided to alternate banana and strawberry layers. Here's the banana one before I tucked them in with more buttercream.

They were slippy sliding around so I ended up just putting buttercream on the "bottom" of the next layer and squishing it down on top lol. Just gotta do what you can.

Strawberry layer!

Rinse and repeat.

I made the last layer a combination of strawberry and banana. It was about this point I was beginning to realize I wasn't going to have enough buttercream to even finish a crumb coat. Wtf lol.

Sooo I'm sticking some cake bones in it and letting it chill a bit while I eat. After dinner I'll make some more buttercream I guess lmao.

Naked caaake.

[nikasholistic]

How do we change our subconscious belief systems? Ik it takes time, patience and self-awareness to reprogram ourselves, to tear out the destructive and self-sabotaging habits/thought patterns/(in)actions, to replace them with the right things that'll allow us to live the life we deserve

How do we actually do that?

There's such an info overload on the net. Who do I trust? What actually works? I really want to change, but I keep relapsing, then I give up, then as I realise I've spiralled, I get desperate, then I re-try... Then the cycle repeats

I have deep-rooted issues - no doubt that's why anything I try doesn't stick (plus mostly, what can I do when a part of me itself doesn't care about 'changing'? My desire to change < Convincing power of that part). It's unbearable, sometimes. Other times, when I wake up, I conveniently completely forget I was doing a particular method (eg I find myself working on affirmations for up to a week, then the next day somehow I don't even remember doing this (or I magically lose the paper I'd written them on), and it takes a while before I recall what I was working on). Extremely frustrating. Especially since it took me a while to identify these sly tricks of the SC mind (and it was a real aha moment when I looked back and saw this pattern snaking back into my past)

Ah these SC beliefs. It's so insane how powerful they can be. Ik some part of me is scared sick of me changing and getting rid of the old (90%+ self-destructive) me. Idk how to battle myself when it seems so natural for me to fall into these quicksand traps. Idk if you've experienced this. It's been some months now and it's not getting easier

Ever since I've 'woken up', I realise how rotten my current reality is, and the consequences of my poor thinking/feeling in the past. But I accept that. It's just: what if everything keeps going like this, and eventually leads to the same future? An unfulfilled, lackadaisical existence. I'm terrified of that. As if I'm in the passenger seat of a crashing car. The worst is when opportunities do knock (coz of some successful deliberate LOA practices), and I find myself unable to step up. Deep fear, hidden guilt, major lack of trust in myself have led to this. Phases of darkness during my developing years haven't helped either. As time passes, and the above cycle repeats, I become aware of more (long-buried) twisted beliefs and distorted concepts of my 'worth' and 'future'. It's frightening what monsters have been hiding under the bed. I feel helpless and alone

If I really force myself to challenge some beliefs, say, I end up 'researching' instead, and we all know endlessly consuming content (articles, 'self-help' books, YT 'coaches') is nice and all, but it ain't worth nothing without application

And application is where I fail

The only thing that's changed is I've become self-aware (say, half of the time) in realising when I'm falling prey to the 'destructive' beliefs. Again, it's not much use when I still give in (except now with added guilt at the back of my mind). But no, I do admit it's an achievement! I'm more aware of my thoughts too (as opposed to never realising what damage I was doing to myself by self-inflicting pain via thoughts for so many years)

Can I change? How would you go about turning your life around, from within, if you were in my place?

You inspire me so much. I hope you can give me some advice. I need help like you would help a child - Leading by the hand

What do I do, henceforth, to start rebuilding the foundations of my mind? (SC belief system)

Love you ❤️

And apologies for the long ask but I had to get it out of my chest instead of letting the helplessness grow unchecked. Any help would be appreciated eternally

Thank you for opening up, sometimes we just have to allow the words to flow✨

First of all, I would highly recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself. Because this is what you have to do in order to establish a new belief system, you have to break the habit of being yourself and thus let go of the past self. Dispenza shows you how to do this.

What I’ve personally learned from his books, and from other materials, is that establishing a new belief system is never an immediate thing, and you have to be very patient. You also have to be prepared for setbacks and be willing to rise above them.

I think you’re in some kind of loop with your current belief system. We have between 60-70 000 thoughts a day. 95% of these thoughts are unconscious thoughts. 90% of the thoughts you have today are the same thoughts you had yesterday. You’re running on autopilot, and the key is to establish a new program.

You change your belief system through repetition and turning disempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs. Shadow work is essential here because first, you have to understand the root of particular thoughts, and then change this root and create more empowering beliefs. You say you’re afraid of certain beliefs you uphold, and you don’t have to. You can heal them and let them go. 

Since the subconscious mind is like a computer, you have to establish a new program, and you do this by repetition. Affirmations are essential here. I’ve got a post about affirmations, you can read it here, I would highly recommend combining some of the techniques I presented there. I really think that affirmations are the best and the most effective way to reprogram your mind; you're already programming your mind with certain affirmations, but these affirmations are full of fear and uncertainty. Time for the new, conscious ones.

However, the most important part of changing your belief system is commitment. Why? Because the moment you decide to change, your ego will do everything to prevent you from attaining change. Your ego’s job is to protect you, and it does so by keeping you in a familiar situation, even if this situation doesn't serve you. Your ego is afraid of the unknown, however, the only way to establish a new belief system and thus a new reality is to willingly step into the unknown. You say you’re afraid of letting go of your old self, but it’s just your ego trying to be in control. You can let go of your past self. Your past self has nothing to offer you anymore. 

You have to become very conscious of your habits. Maybe change your routine a little bit? Stop doing certain things on autopilot, and find new ways of doing them. It’s connected with something called neuroplasticity, Dr. Joe Dispenza explains it very well in the book I’ve mentioned. 

It usually takes about 30-90 days of consistent work to establish a new belief system. That’s why you have to stay committed. You have to be prepared for a little battle with your past self and past belief system. You have to be prepared for the fact that you might want to come back to your old thinking patterns, and the moment you do this, it’s time to self-regulate. It’s time to switch your thinking and your emotions. Whenever you do this, you become a conscious designer of your reality and you stop allowing life to happen to you.

Hope that this was helpful. I know that you can do this, it takes time, but eventually, you’ll master your thoughts. 

Love you too 💗

[a-purple-lizard]

Can you do a scenario of Dark Raiden x Ashrah but unlike in the past where good raiden was trying to redeem her soul, the demoness is trying to redeem his soul.

Also I imagine she’d be the only one who can truly understand him since she used to believe that you must do whatever it takes no matter the cost.

Idk I’ve been obsessing over the potential of their dynamic lately!

Also I hope you had a great Valentine’s❤️💕❤️💕

Hopeless Redemption

Ashrah x dark Raiden

Oooo okay! One of my favorite ships!

“Please ashrah, heed my warnings!” The god pleaded to the white cloaked demon. “The path you are on will lead to destruction!”

Here ashrah stood atop the very same temple like they had before, many years ago. The tyrant god was in front of her, glowing red eyes boring into her soulless eyes. “Raiden, please heed my warning.” She began. “This is a dark path you tread.”

“What do you know? You lick the boots of the elder gods and get everything. I have to beg, on my knees, to everyone just to get a chance!” She growled, taking a step forward. “Everything I have, I’ve had to work for, I won’t let you talk me into giving it all up!”

“Silence demon, what would you know? You don’t know the burden of a realm apon your shoulders, you know not the loss I feel.” He said coldly, turning away to gaze into the night sky. “I won’t let anybody destroy what I’ve tried so hard to protect.”

“You are better than this, I know you are!” He pleaded, grabbing her hand. “I can save your soul if only you let me-“

“Raiden, you were once a pure soul, full of love and devotion for earthrealm.” She boldly claimed, approaching the god. “You have become obsessed, it is killing you and the ones you love, if you would only take my advice-“

“Don’t you DARE touch me, thunder god!” She screeched, pulling away. Her beautiful form started to tear ever so slightly, revealing the monster underneath. “I know what I have to do to achieve my goals. Who are you to judge?”

“Back demon! I have no interest in your deception.” He suddenly growled out, his form letting out bolts of electricity in warning. “Why would a lowly demon think it has the right to pass judgment onto me!?”

“I do not judge, I only wish to put you on the right path.” He pleaded, attempting to approach her. Unnatural growls and twitches erupted from the demon. The thunder god didn’t let it stop him. “I know you mean well, but these things you are doing- they will kill your soul!”

“I am not here to pass judgment, I just want to make things right.” Ashrah approached the god despite the sparks. “You are full of love, for earthrealm and it’s people. But, the things you are doing- the wars, the death, they will corrupt your soul!”

Ashrah said nothing, she only turned away, staring out at the night sky. Raiden softly spoke. “I do not feel your pain, but I understand it. I know what it’s like to love something so much to the point that it causes harm, but you must understand, at one point, a line must be drawn!”

The god said nothing, he only looked out into the night sky. Ashrah broke the silence, “I know what it’s like, to love something so much that you bring pain to others because of it. You feel… devoted to it and lost without it. You would do anything to protect it. But when will it end? When will enough be enough?”

“A line is drawn in the blood of my last enemy!” The demon snapped, turing around to face him. “Then, and only then, will I stop.”

“It will be enough when earthrealm is safe!” He growled coldly, glaring down at the demoness who hid behind her white veil. “When that day comes, all will be at peace.”

“And when will that be? When quan chi is dead? When shinnok is dead? Shao Kahn? Me?” He demanded, tone matching hers. “Are you really foolish enough to believe that it will ever end? It only ends when you decide to allow it!”

“When will that day come? A day? Ten days? A thousand years?” She asked, lifting her veil to gaze at him sternly. “The bloodshed will never end, not until you put a stop to it. If you kill every last threat to earthrealm, there will still be one left.”

“It’s not that simple!” Her skin broke loose as she ripped her way out of her human form, revealing a grotesque demon. Raiden didn’t blink. “I can’t just stop!”

“You know gods damn well that the only way earthrealm will be safe is if I destroy every last threat!” He charged at her, grabbing her by the throat and slamming her into the wall. Ashrah didn’t even blink. “I can’t stop until all of them are dead! I am saving earthrealm!”

“Can’t stop? Or too afraid to stop?” He demanded, gaze becoming more stern. “Admit it, you don’t want to stop because you’re afraid you won’t survive without your methods.”

“You can choose to end the bloodshed whenever you want!” She seethed, her human husk becoming damaged from his hands around her throat. “You just don’t want to, because it’s easier this way. For you, only for you.”

Ashrah shook in rage, “don’t you DARE assume that I have any control!” She roared. “Everything I’ve done had to have been done! What other options are there!?”

“Then please, demoness, “ he sneered, “what am I supposed to do to protect earthrealm? This is the way! There are no alternative options!”

“You could choose peace.” He offered gently, watching her demon form freeze at the word.

“A wise man once told me, you could choose peace.” Her bruised voice offered, the god flinched, his grip loosening.

“You are good, deep inside I know you want peace too.” His soft voice was like fresh honey drizzled onto her very being. “Your soul yearns for it. It needs it.”

“You were a good man, you still are deep inside.” She wrapped her hands around his fist. “You soul requires it, peace, its existence depends on it.”

Ashrah said nothing, her demon form wavered, melting back into its human disguise. A gasp escaped her throat as a pair of arms wrapped around her.

Raiden released her from his grip, allowing her to slide down against the wall. The lightning around him subsided, his gaze was on the ground. He grunted in surprise as a pair of lips were place on his.

“I love you… Please, Ashrah, see the light…” he pleaded, his gentle eyes full of sorrow.

“I… I think I love you. I know I care about you more than myself. Isn’t that love?” She mumbled into his mouth. “I don’t know much about love, but I do know that when you love somebody, you want what’s best for them. I want you to return to the light once again.”

The demon let out a cry of confusion, slipping away from the gods grip. She stared helplessly at him, a flurry of emotion raged in her eyes. She couldn’t take it. Without any warning, a portal appeared below her, sucking her into the netherrealm.

The god broke away from the kiss, backing away. His face was unreadable. All he did was shake his head before a bolt of lightning consumed him, leaving nothing left.

Raiden was left there alone at the abandoned temple. He stared out at the stars and wondered, how long would it take for another to appear?

Ashrah stood alone, her expression was one of sadness and regret. Staring up at the stars, she wondered, how long would it take for another to blink out?

[apathycarestostudy]

Any studying, motivation and procrastination tips please? Desperately in need of some before a new academic year starts.

Hello hello! Yes! I’m sorry I took a bit to get back to you with these - I just wanted to give you the best I got. So here ya go, I mixed up everything you asked for in a couple of strong tips. I’ve divided into preparing for the new semester, study tips, and then procrastination tips with a sprinkle of motivation all over it.

Prep:

Sooo the academic year is right around the corner (or dreadfully yet, already here), and you need to shift to get with the times. Fixing your sleep schedule? Getting your syllabus ready? That’s all important and good, but how do you keep the determination strong as the first few weeks go by? How to prepare better?

make a lessons learned note

I learnt this from my internship. It’s a good practice that after a project, you take some time to review what happened during the project and create a final report, concluding it with a couple bullet points of the lessons you learnt from it. If you need a feel of what that looks like, here’s my lessons learned from last semester:

Using OneNote is a waste of time

If you don’t keep up in the beginning, you’re going to show up for attendance and give the bare minimum to move on

You need to learn how to speak up during class - you know the answer, what’re you so nervous about?

Don’t fear marking up your books - it’s yours??? You paid for it??? Using highlighters are useful if used appropriately

Be careful about helping people - you’ve been caught four times helping friends while they kept stuff from you and got ahead

Y’all I had to stop myself lol. I planned to write my top three, but then kept clicking enter again and again. Well. Now you know my concerns. 

Getting back on track though, you should take some time to write down the stuff you learned from last semester’s experience to know what you’re going to take with you, and what you’ll quit doing. It’s a strong, positive start, and it prevents you from making the same mistakes again.

delete/move stuff off your phone + organize your laptop’s folders

It’s better to keep our phones clear and ready for the new semester’s mess, right? I have a bunch of screenshots, and files, and notes on my phone that I don’t need to keep anymore, but I’m a bit of a hoarder :))) I like to keep stuff in case I wanna look back, be that girl people just know has something they’d need, or hell if I need to retake a class (it’s happened unfortunately). Maybe you got a junior you want to pass your stuff along to. So what do you do? Move it to your laptop of course!

Well, that’s what I do. If you don’t have a laptop, you can upload it somewhere (google drive etc.), attach them on emails, anything that works for you! There’s always somewhere you can put your stuff that’s private and safe.

That goes into my next point - be sure to take the time to reorganize your spaces now. Since I put it on my laptop, I organize my folders to my liking, make sure everything is where it should be with older ones, and create new ones for the coming semester. Just pop on some music, sit down and get cracking. It gives me a pleasant feeling after I look at everything when I’m done.

set up your calendar/planner!

This is a recurring tip that I think is good enough to reiterate. Whatever method you use to keep track of stuff needs to be updated, upgraded, and ready to go! If you’ve used something that failed mid-way through last semester, or you didn’t like but had to keep with it because you were in too deep, put that in your lessons learned record. Here’s your chance to change to a better system. It’s fine if you already started your new term - it’s still early enough to switch/set up a new one!

Make sure you don’t overdo it though. The point of this is to keep track of, say, assignments and quiz dates, not spend an unnecessary amount of time organizing and stuff and falling into the pit of preparing to study. If it works for you and has been working for you - keep going! But if it’s taking time and having any negative correlation to your performance, it’s better to do away with it than to keep going and have it be another lesson learnt next semester. I’ll be the first to say that I tried setting up a bujo for myself - bought markers and washi tape and all - and I gave up after three days of using it. And I set up an entire month and then some. It hurt my soul to admit that it was a waste of time for me, and not keep beating at it, but I did, and now it’s sitting here mocking me everyday. But I have time to watch it mock me ;) 

My go-to organizational system: Microsoft To-do (not sponsored :((), phone’s calendar, phone’s notepad. That’s it.

create a night routine

People usually say fixing your sleep schedule and having a night/morning routine is good, but in my opinion, a night routine is stronger than both. For some reason, for the life of me, I can’t get my sleep schedule right unless some force stops me from staying awake. I tried getting in bed early and throwing my phone across the room - but I’d lay there for hours thinking about the next day so I don’t bother anymore. The morning routine just ruins my mood because I’d either fail miserably and feel worse, or feel overwhelmed. It’s better if both happen either circumstantially or organically for me. 

Night routines set an easy-going mood, and it’s full of potential because it also sets the scene for the next day. By night routine, I don’t mean what you do before you sleep, I mean the consecutive things you do every night. For example, I play a round of games with my siblings (card games and board games), then shower, do my skin care routine (wash-toner-moisturizer that’s it lol), watch a video as I’m combing my hair (and then watch a couple more), feed my turtle, and then see what I want to do. Sometimes I sleep right after, other times I’m on my phone or reading a book. But just this set of recurring events calms me down when my life is chaotic, and it’s easier and more doable than morning routines for me.

Action:

Now we’ve set the scene, so it’s action time (I’m so lame). 

don’t let work pass you by

In regards to studying, this is the - BIGGEST - tip I can ever give you. The ironic thing is, it’s still going to happen no matter how much you try, and that can damper your mood and your drive, but here’s my tip: MILK IT FOR ALL IT’S WORTH!! 

If you know it’s going to happen eventually, don’t let it affect you - focus all your efforts not in doing it everyday, but maintaining it for as long as you possibly can. Don’t let your studies pass you for even a second. Work it like you work a job as long as you can, and you’ll end up surprising yourself on how much you had completed when you gotta review for quizzes and exams. 

You know how they say exercise and earn your shower everyday? How about study and earn your play time everyday :)))

if it does, work backwards

So we’re here. You’re behind by two weeks. Like I mentioned up there, we knew we were going to end up here eventually (and if you didn’t, share your ways lol. no matter how much I cred myself with studying and getting shit done, I still don’t know what’s going on), so now what do we do? Work backwards. The prof/teach is at point S and you’re still curling the bottom of J? Start from S and go to R, then Q, then P....while maintaining the new stuff you’re learning after S. Pinch it in. We should aim to follow the class as much as we can so it’s more effective to study backwards and keep going with it. It’ll also help killing the thing that’s refusing to let you go faster with the beginning stuff, and you’ll be reviewing what you learnt in real time along with the class. 

Don’t know why I said the previous tip was the best I had to offer when we both know that this one is the real G.

pathetic notes are still notes

This one is a weird one - I had an issue with notes for a beat. I have this belief that you should always make notes every class, no matter how much new stuff you learn, but then there’ll be days where I write three lines and it just hurts my soul for some reason. I guess it’s the incomplete page? The three lines I’ll add tomorrow and face this again? Not sure. But whatever it is, do not stop writing notes! If you learn something new that’s not written anywhere, or hell you just wanna jot it down somewhere more accessible, always write it down, no matter how pathetic your notebook’ll look. I had to get over that, so I thought it would be good to mention. Always. Take. Notes. Nothing is too much information on the race to securing your livelihood.

If you can’t get over it, maybe try printing the slides and making your notes on the borders. I started doing this for more technical courses that don’t get a lot of notes, and it works really well having it in one place.

(I should pin a picture, idk, I’m really proud of it.)

starting strong is good, consistency is even better

In the end, that person who walks in stronger than last semester are plenty, but the one who wins in the end is always that one person - what makes them different? They don’t watch the ones who’re running strong in the beginning and mess up their pace by either trying to keep up with them, do more, or discourage them. They maintain a consistent effort and benefit in the end. It’s the story of the hare and the turtle - consistent, slow effort beats rushing and getting out of fuel in the last stretch. 

There was this one semester where it seemed like half my class decided that they were all going to be on all of a sudden, and it threw me off, made me insecure, and then I started comparing myself to them. The only thing that saved me was that I kept my consistent effort in the meantime because I had consequences if I didn’t perform - so at the end of it, it didn’t matter how hard they started. Only two out of the thirteen elevated their rank. And I was where I needed to be, so that feeling was wasted.

Well, not completely wasted now since I’m telling you. Focus on yourself. Stay consistent. It’s good to be aware of where everyone is, and use it to motivate you, but no negative feelings that’ll hold you back. Release it.

(also pro-tip: teachers don’t care about the loud ones, they care about the consistent ones)

Procrastination:

Now we got the ball rolling - how to avoid this monster? Also, if you still haven’t gotten the ball a-tumbling,

what do you fear?

Oftentimes it’s the fear of something that hinders us from starting. My common fears that keeps me procrastinating are fear of failure, fear of taking too long and wasting time, fear of finding out how little I know of the thing I haven’t learnt yet - I could keep going forever. It’s easier ignoring it and treating it like it’s not there than to face it, I know. But we wanna be better, so how can we?

Write down what you feel, get it out, and then study. A lesson I learnt from last semester was that journalling before I studied helped immensely. Just try it for a session - get out what you’re thinking about, and end it with an action item (I’m going to do xyz now) and then do it. It’s like a weight being lifted off of you. I’ve never felt so light studying in my life, I feel. 

do, don’t tell yourself you will, do

shameful self plug: read this to see what I mean (specifically the you don’t need a lot to get started ramble) 

don’t take on more than you can chew

Something that can kill your grind is if you overwhelm yourself by tying yourself down to things you know you won’t be able to handle later on. It kinda plays off the doing too much in the beginning - you’re setting yourself for failure if you don’t think through your decisions, and then fall into procrastination with the things that’d breed the most consequence. So be careful.

I’m not saying don’t apply yourself - it’s really good to get as much experiences (fun and useful) as you can. But don’t let it be at the expense of what matters. Your health, your faith, your studies - all these things matter more than....insert something here....yeah.

start everyday intentional, end every night with intentions

I’ll end it with this. Start your day intentional on getting stuff done, and you can cleanly avoid procrastinating. End it with good intentions for the next one, and you’ll keep this habit going. Whatever that is, finding your happy place, making a to-do list, praying, journalling, talking to someone - always try to wake up with the mindset that this’ll be your day, and end it with a pat on your back and a promise to do better - if you managed or not. Everyday is a new chance. Every midday is a chance. Now is your chance. It’s just a matter of being hungry and taking it.

Ooof I took water breaks writing this, and it still felt like I had more to say. Sorry for the length lol - I hope this helped in any way. And good luck! New semester, same you, new mindset, better results ;))  (I’m so lame lol).

By the way y’all, if you happen to be loud and consistent, share those tips also lol. 

Here’s to our collective success!

[im-actually-ok]

Fangs

Chapter one

Next

Masterlist

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ships: Platonic DLAMPR

Word Count: 2276

Genre: Semi angst? Not really, uh hurt comfort? It's not fluff exactly but idk what to put here.

Warnings: Fangs, very slight body horror(the fangs), food, sleep deprivation (i think that’s it but if i missed anything please let me know so i can add it, thank you!!!)

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“Experiment 4379, fangs,” Logan spoke into his audio recorder, holding it inches from his mouth as he did, “It has been proven that sides can alter their appearance completely to replicate others, I wish to see if a side could alter smaller traits of oneself. Today I shall try to alter my appearance in a minor way to test my theory, to test said theory I will attempt to give myself fangs because, as Remus has said, they are ‘dope as hell’,” he let go of the small button, pausing the recording for a moment to let out a small breath of, “here we go.”

He turned to cross the room to the small square mirror on the wall. He opened his mouth, moving one hand to prod at a tooth for a moment before closing his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut. He had only changed his appearance twice, both for one of Thomas’s videos, but he had never tried to change simply one thing and not on his own, he had had enough trouble returning to human form after the whole puppet thing.

He imagined the fangs in his mind. The sharpened teeth, similar to that of a wolf’s teeth but structured to fit inside a human mouth. He stumbled a little, catching himself on the desk under him. He was always a bit winded after changing, it took quite a bit of energy but while Thomas was recording he did a pretty good job of hiding it. Wait, does that mean it worked?

He stood up quickly, looking in the mirror once more, opening his mouth again and letting out a soft, breathed, happy laugh when he saw the sharp teeth between his parted lips. He moved a hand to prod at a tooth once more but quickly retracted his hand with a small hiss of pain. He saw a small bead of blood on his finger and watched it roll down to his hand. God, he had made these things really sharp, hadn't he?

He picked up his recorder, “experiment 4379 is a success! I was able to replace my teeth with a set of fangs quite easily, though it did take a bit more effort to pinpoint a specific trait, this should make future experiments much easier seeing as I will not have to beg Roman or Remus to take me to the imagination. I will have to conduct more experiments with the fangs later but for now I am going to retire, creating said fangs took quite a bit out of me. Not to self: figure out a way to maintain energy after a transformation. Now all I have to do is transform back which should not be a problem,” he let go of the small button, setting the recorder on the desk again before looking in the mirror once more, admiring his work before closing his eyes again. He imagined his regular old human teeth, focusing on it to try and shift his appearance once more.

He didn't feel anything though. He didn’t feel the usual exhaustion or small tingling sensation. He opened his eyes once more, opening his mouth to find the fangs. Hm. Odd.

He closed his eyes again, his hands gripping the edges of the desk as he squeezed them shut as hard as he could, focusing hard on the image in his mind. He focused on every small detail of the set of human teeth he imagined, trying to will them into existence. But when he opened his eyes once more he was met with the same sight.

Okay. This might be a problem.

----

Logan had tried everything. After an hour of trying to change his teeth back, he finally decided to try and find-- alternate methods. He tried to file them down with one of Roman’s nail files and when it didn’t he used the metal one he used for his work. It did nothing. He was starting to get worried and ended up trying to chew on a rock. The rock broke. He had definitely done something wrong because these were not normal fangs. He was getting desperate. Logan eventually got to the point where he simply tried to pull them out but they would not budge.

God, what would everyone think if they saw? Not only was he now a freak, but he had failed to get himself out of a predicament he had caused due to his foolish curiosity. No. No they could not see, he would not let them.

He stayed in his room for days on end, running on only coffee and crofters though the organic fruit spread was hard to eat with his sharpened teeth. He continued to try different things, trying to find some sort of way to fix this but all of his attempts had failed.

He was currently lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a sigh. His hair was ruffled from running his hands through it and his tie that was simply draped around his shoulders. He took off his glasses to rub his eyes, letting his hand hold them loosely as it hung over the side of the bed.

Then he heard a knock.

He shot up in bed, eyes flying open as he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and called out a small, “who is it?” with a voice crack that made him inwardly wince.

“Uh, hey Lo! It’s Patton! Could ya open the door?” Patton asked, his voice hesitant.

“I’m-- I’m a bit tied up at the moment, Patton. Do you need something?” Logan lied, standing and moving across the room, placing his glasses on the bridge of his nose and pushing them up.

“Come on, Pocket Protector, I can hear you moving around in there,” He heard Roman call. Wait, Roman?

“Roman? You are here as well?” Logan asked, turning to face the closed door from across the room.

“Yeah, we’re all here, Lo,” Virgil said, “Well, most of us. Remus is kinda headless in the imagination but he would be here if he could be.”

So they were all there? Why? “I apologize but I cannot come to the door right now, if you have a concern you can tell me here or you could wait until I am done, if you would like.”

“Of course I’m concerned, you’ve been in your room forever,” Patton said softly

“Patton, I have been in here for a few days, you know I have a lot of work, this is not the first time I have done this so you should not be concerned,” He said plainly, sitting on the edge of his desk.

“Logan you’ve been in there for a week now,” Janus said with a tad of force in his voice that made Logan choke on air.

A week?! How could he let himself lose track of time like that?! He ran a hand through his hair once again in a slight panic. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to tell them!?

“Lo? Buddy? You still there?” Pat asked, moving a bit closer to the door until he was inches away.

“I-- yeah,” he moved to open the door, moving a hand to hover near his mouth as he pulled it open.

Patton gave a small gasp and Virgil winced back at the sight of Logan, Janus simply gave Logan an up and down as he surveyed how terrible Logan looked and Roman just said, “Holy hell, what happened to you?”

“I have been-- busy,” he said, covering his mouth slightly to ensure no one saw, “But I almost finished and I will be back to normal shortly, I promise.”

Patton noticed the way Logan had covered his mouth, but he didn’t question it. He sighed and nodded, “yeah, ok, just-- get some sleep tonight, ok?”

Logan nodded, “I assure you, I will.”

----

He did not. He was up all night again. He stood in the mirror, tying the tie around his neck and pulling it up around his neck tightly before combing his hair and straightening out his shirt.

He opened his mouth again, brushing over one of the fangs lightly, as to not cut himself again. He sighed, moving to tuck a pack of flashcards into his back pocket before making his way to the door. He let himself take in a deep breath before opening the door and entering the hall. Here we go.

He moved down the hall and down the stairs where he was met with a beaming Patton, “Morning, Logan! It's nice to see you out of your room!” he said with a small relieved huff.

Logan smiled with a closed mouth and whipped out a flash card that read ‘whatup dawg?’ and held it out to Patton.

Patton looked momentarily confused but simply let out a soft chuckle before saying, “I dunno, what is up with you?-- dawg?” in a quite awkward and choppy manner.

Logan simply nodded and shrugged before moving on, past the living room into the kitchen. Patton watched him as he did with a curious look, Logan was never this quiet, was something wrong?

Logan moved to the fridge, pulling it open and searching through it and letting out a small annoyed huff when he couldn’t find his--

“Looking for this, Microsoft Turd?” Roman asked with a laugh, holding up Logan’s jar of Crofter’s Organic.

Logan shot Roman a look as he closed the fridge, pulling out a flash card that said ‘that’s not very gucci of you’ and flipping it over to reveal the other side that said ‘Throw that back my way’.

Roman laughed, “Wow, prepared today, aren’t we?” and then he simply waited for Logan to respond, but his coy mocking smile fell a little as Logan continued to simply stare at him with annoyed eyes. Roman frowned a little under Logan’s gaze, waiting for him to say something, anything, “Geez, teach, sorry, didn’t mean to press your buttons,” he said awkwardly, not exactly sure how to feel, “uh- here, you can have this back,” Roman tossed the jar at Logan. Bad idea.

Logan was surprised and stumbled to try and catch it, but he had never been the best at catching anything, so it was no surprise when it slipped through his fingers and smashed on the ground.

Roman gasped a little and instantly started uttering small apologies, he just wanted to mess with him a little bit, not break and waste the entire jar!

Logan simply stared down at the floor, first in surprise, then in anger. Goddamn it, Roman! He felt himself bare his teeth a bit as he stared at the broken glass on the floor and even felt a small growl rise in his throat. Wait? A growl?

Logan stopped himself, standing up straight again and clearing his throat before turning away from Roman, making sure the other could not see his mouth but covering it slightly with his hand, just in case, “I am going to retire to my room, do not wait for me to eat, good night,”

“It’s-- It’s 3:30, Logan,” Roman stuttered out, slightly dumbfounded that the side in front of him was leaving to go to sleep so early.

“Good night,” Logan repeated, a tad more aggressively.

“Logan I’m-- I’m sorry, I wasn't thinking, Im-”

“I said good night,” he said, almost turning to bare his teeth at Roman, but he knew better. He simply covered his mouth and continued to move back up to his room, past a confused and speechless Patton and up the stairs. Not like he would have really been able to actually eat the jelly, though. It was so hard to eat anything soft with these fangs.

----

“Logan?” Virgil asked softly, tapping his knuckles lightly against the door.

Logan was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands, frustrated about what had happened earlier and about the fact that he couldnt get these stupid fangs out! “Can I help you?” he asked, just loud enough for Virgil to hear.

“Uh- we were just wondering if you-- if you’d come down for dinner? Eat with us?” He asked in a hesitant manner.

He couldn't go down to dinner, they would see his fangs! He just couldn't! But he hadn’t eaten in quite a while and he couldn’t simply refuse to eat with the others and then take food up to eat by himself, then they would know something was up. How could he say no? How could he say yes!?

“Lo? You still there?”

Logan sighed a bit and nodded even though he knew VIrgil couldn’t see him, “Yeah. I am still here,” he moved a hand up to rub his eyes under his glasses, “I’ll-- I’ll be down in a little bit. Is that alright?”

“O-of course, take your time,” Virgil said before slinking back down the hall, away from Logan’s door. Something was wrong. They could all tell. The way Logan hid in his room, covered his mouth when he was speaking recently, heck, he growled at Roman! So yeah, maybe they were trying to figure out what was wrong, and maybe they were trying to see what Logan was hiding, and maybe they were being paranoid but come on! This just isn’t like Logan! What were they supposed to do?! Talk to him like normal people!? Of course not!

Was Virgil worried out of his mind? Yes. Yes he was.

But he was coming to dinner, that was a step in the right direction, and they could put their plan into motion.

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Author's Notes!: I kind of forgot about this fic that I wrote a while ago but I never finished, just thought I’d post it to see if anyone wanted to read the second half cuz then I would write it. Enjoy i guess!!!