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pricegouge · 21 days ago

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On Merit

exhusband!price x f!reader

cw: house fire and the aftermath of it. reader and john have kids. reader is implied to be an atheist. unedited because i don't want to look it over again. idk what this is and it's not going anywhere i just needed some comfort.

"i just thank god that the kids are okay."

an in-law of some fashion. a pesky one, perhaps an aunt. usually, you can remember her name by some clever rhyme you'd made up the day you'd gotten married, but today both the name and the rhyme escape you.

"yeah, me too," you mutter. it's not that you don't mean it, but you've repeated the line so many times today it feels hollow and you can't muster the energy necessary to sell it, especially when the mention of your kids has your head on a swivel, making sure they're still corralled off by the picnic table. they are, of course - haven't moved since you'd last sought them out in a panic all of thirty seconds ago. your mother hovers over them, her hands stroking their hair, just as insistent and scared as your own which hang uselessly at your sides. you want to go to them, but the team of volunteer construction workers who have manifested from the aether need guidance on which parts of the house may contain salvageable heirlooms or sentimental storage. they've been dipping in and out of the wreckage all morning, confused worker bees pulling honey from the hive. a small collection of brightly colored totes decorates your lawn, fluorescent greens and reds standing out amongst the charred grass where more community and family members pick them apart, show you waterlogged decorations from a new years party four years ago and pester you to see if you want to bother keeping them. if you say no, they toss the waste into a large construction bag. mildly, it bothers you that they don't just throw them back in the house. clean up has to start somewhere, you suppose.

they found the majority of your pictures, waterlogged but whole. a gaggle of elderly women sit at picnic tables which weren't on your lawn this morning, pressing each photo between layers of shop rags. you want to bake them a cake, wonder if they'll accept a delivery pizza. wonder if you're lucky enough that your wallet is still in your car.

"only home twenty minutes… when i think what could have happened…" you close your eyes against the visions it invokes, tears collecting in your lashes. auntie balks when she notices, as if surprised her words could affect you. she pats your arm awkwardly. "well, everything happens for a reason. it's lucky you got home when you did."

it's the same line you've heard all morning, the same one you yourself had spouted to your mother much earlier when you'd admitted your kids had been home alone most the night. there was nothing wrong with that, your oldest - fifteen - plenty capable of making sure her younger sister ate and got to bed on time. which she'd done, both girls sleeping like logs when you'd gotten home. you don't want to think about what could have happened if you'd been any later, if one more patient had taken a turn, and all the words of comfort have been the same - thank god that wasn't the case. they mean well but the truth is you don't really believe in that kind of stuff so it's hard to get past the what ifs. you let it wash over you, like the runoff still flowing down the backslope of the lawn. ash and glass clouds the brook back there, a fine waiting to happen, probably. add it to the list of growing expenses your mind is too clouded to tally up right now.

smoke still wafts from the house - what remains of it. thin tendrils of ink leaking from the empty windows, their frames warped from the sagging weight of the structure and wreathed in melted plastic. john had insisted on the most expensive brand he could find, adamant that they were the most secure. but fire doesn't care much about double locks or casement, and it had rained little crystals of tempered glass down on you anyway. it crunches like gravel under aunties shoes as she drifts away from you now, neither of you able to offer the other the kind of comfort you each need. most of these people, they've shown up to make themselves feel better, to tell everyone how they'd helped the poor single mother in her time of need. but you don't act the part of the distraught, needy damsel and it's left a lot of them off-kilter, approaching you like a ticking bomb, a presumed-buried fuel source hidden under the rubble, waiting to catch heat. perhaps you are.

>>On my way.

you don't need to check your phone to verify the text because it's been burned into your retinas by now but you do anyway, just to be sure. just to do the mental math of how long ago it had been received. seven hours. wherever he'd been when he pinged your phone at two in the morning, when the firefighters had still been lingering, it must have been far. john and you may have had your differences over the years, but he had never and would never be the type to let you face a crisis alone. even now you can't help but reflect on the depth of his devotion, the implication that he'd been on a mission which he'd dropped to be with you even after learning his daughters were okay not lost on you. it's another mental image you have to fight off, the father of your children battle worn and weary when he checks his burner to find an update from kate. he hadn't bothered to relay his reply through her, had texted you directly because he still had your number memorized after all these years. it has you shaking your head, waspish when the volunteers bring you a bin of old gaming consoles, filled with water because the stupid plastic guitar controller was too tall to properly fashion the cover. you've no idea why it makes you angry, but you latch onto it with claws and teeth anyway because being mad at john is much safer than lingering on -.

well, lingering on.

the construction crew tells you the kitchen won't collapse on you if you want to go in through the window there. you don't, but it gives you something to do, and you only realize once you're already in that it was perhaps the worst room to have chosen.

debris carpets the floor at least two inches thick. you have a fleeting, wild notion to go swap your sneakers for boots before you remember, thoughts immediately flickering to wonder how long it will take for that instinct to die off. what strikes you first is how small the room seems with the roof sagging slightly and floor raised by detritus. soot stained and dark, it swallows the ample sunlight which streams through the empty window within inches, the further corners of the kitchen too dark to make out properly. it doesn't feel like your home, casts a certain sense of voyeurism over the growing feeling of loss. your kitchen, the life center of your home, nothing but charred ribs now.

the crew offers you a worn baseball cap and a pair of gloves when they see you flinch under the steady drip of water. you don't bat an eye as you pull them on, too focused on where you want to begin and if you'll get sepsis for your troubles.

you can't open the fridge because it's melted too much but the cabinets are all mostly functional, if unrecognizable. you don't dare open the higher ones because the way they hang off-kilter makes you nervous but the lower ones housed the bake ware anyway, the morbid curiosity to see if your pyrex finally shattered too hard to resist.

turns out those things really can take the heat.

it's hard to stop once you've started, almost cathartic - a checklist of all the items you've forgotten you owned being crossed out as you confirm you no longer have them. it's an odd sort of soothing, a finger in a bullet hole to stem the blood loss. it will be nice not to have to wonder if anything could have been salvageable when you remember them later.

"is my pie still in the oven?"

you don't bother turning, your eldest's blithe sense of humor about the whole affair recognizable even without looking. "you shouldn't be here," you remind her, opening up a deep drawer to find a collection of snack sized crisp bags floating in dirty water. if you weren't so agitated, it would make you laugh, the way they bob like apples, inviting you to try your luck.

"neither should you," she counters. "is my pie still in the oven? i worked so hard on it."

"what pie?" you ask, carefully closing the drawer, as if spilling more water on the floor could actually matter.

"i made a pie last night! it turned out pretty good, i think. was excited to have you try it."

you blink, finally turning to face her. "you made a pie?"

she nods, still oddly cheerful. she has been all day, a solid rock you're refusing to lean on because you want her to know she can cry, that she doesn't need to do this. "yeah, pumpkin. our fav," she reminds you.

you hide the sudden surge of tears by turning away from her and carefully opening the oven. the glass has been blown, shards thumping to the soggy floor as the door tilts. you can't help but laugh at what you find inside, the double tins still fully functional, a deep dish pie standing tall and proud in their confines. it resembles a charred souffle more than a pie when you pull it out, the top puffed up and blackened but refusing to sink into the soaked crust. a perfect slice has been cut from it already, the pie likely having been put back just to keep it warm a little longer. waiting on you. out of instinct, you check to make sure the oven had been switched off though the investigator already said everything was caused by the line outside.

thankfully your daughter doesn't catch your doubt, too busy fawning over how perversely good her pie still looks. "i'm so proud of it," she declares, taking the dish from you.

you can't help but laugh. "you should offer it to the ladies sorting the pictures out there, in thanks."

"oh my god, you're right!" she cheers, and then nearly throws her precious pie down the bank when she turns away. "dad!" she shrieks, deciding to unload it on the window sill instead. like a dark reimagining of vintage americana.

john's by her side in a heartbeat, pulling her to him with a strong arm. in his other he still holds your youngest because that's what he's used to doing, nevermind the fact that she's twelve now. you don't think you've ever seen him so visibly shaken, mustache twitching as he holds your daughters close. he never bothered to change out of his field gear - vest stripped, but empty holsters still hanging from his stained cargos because those require a bit more care, fine motor control he probably couldn't manage. his hands are heavy on the crowns of your daughters heads, whatever words he whispers to them buried there too. you watch them with your heart in your throat, your agitation returning at the sight of him, the urge to chew your nails completely off only cowed by the appearance of soot on your gloves and the sweet smell of chemically loaded water and smoke which hangs around you like perfume. you'll have to take a bite out of him instead, an instinct that only grows when he spots you in the kitchen, anger clouding the fear in his gaze.

"sweetheart, get out of there."

you ignore him. "where were you?"

john doesn't even blink, evidently having been expecting this reaction. he should have, you remember. the same fight as always. "i was on miss -."

"i don't care." you turn back toward the room, as if to storm away, but a sink hole lays before you and despite everything, you still have enough sense about you to stay put.

it's the only opportunity he needs, john's heavy boots thudding behind you as he pulls himself up through the window. "honey, come here," he says, but he doesn't give you the chance, coming up behind you to pull you around.

you're folded in his arms before you can even pitch a fit about it, the low stream of anger you're spewing swallowed up somewhere in the stiff folds of his button up. you don't realize your breaths are coming in heaving gasps until his arms are shaking with it, his bicep swelling in your periphery just to drop suddenly out of your field of view every time you gasp for breath. john doesn't say much - or maybe he says too much, voice a steady low hum you feel in his chest more than you register in your ear. there's no helping the way you cling to him, anger dissipating as quickly as it built. john's solid and warm against you, just as soft for you as he's always been. he smells like sweat and gunpowder, the subtle scent of the expensive cigars he never finishes. it's a smell you miss always, but especially today, when the cloying scent of smoke and pfas water have felt near to suffocating you all morning.

john waits until your anger has been guttered before guiding you outside, his palm heavy on your back. he's subtle about the way he pulls another man's cap off your head, distracting you with questions about what happened, and, why is his aunt here. you pretend not to notice, stuck between an odd sense of endearment you really don't have time for and an urge to encourage him you decide to reanalyze when you're not homeless and desperate for comfort in whatever form it comes.

"the wind - last night. inspector says the tree out front must've dropped a limb on the line to the house."

"told you to let me cut it down," john mutters and you roll your eyes at him, too tired to fight now that he's calmed you down once already.

"shut up, you can blame me for this later -."

"honey, that's not -."

"look at this. you won't believe this. that line - when it split - it fucking wrapped itself around the wood stove exhaust. like, five times! look!" he's guided you back to the front of the house by now and you drag him to the freak display, the cable indeed having somehow managed to fasten itself to the exhaust while it was hissing and spitting, dangling from your home. john frowns at it, stroking his mustache in thought. "freak fucking accident," you continue, "like, what are the odds of that?"

john doesn't have an answer. "you were home?"

your breath catches when you reply, voice a low croak. john's hand is on your back in a second, soothing broad circles across your tense shoulders. "only just. the girls were asleep. i called up to them to get out of the house but i tried to put the fire out first. grabbed the hose. thank god i realized it was electrical before i ..." you babble on, for the first time able to lay your anxieties at someone else's feet. "when i went back inside, the girls were still upstairs i -." you cut yourself off, sobbing as you remember storming into your eldest's just in time to see the window shatter across her bed. you'd gotten everyone out in time but it was so close and you were so scared and it was just you and -.

"it's okay, sweetheart," john murmurs, pulling you close again. his next words are low, close to your ear. just for you "you did such a good job, mama. so proud of you."

time distorts a little after that. exhaustion creeps up on you, sinks its hooks in when you let it. john takes over, directing the crews with practiced ease and shaking hands in gratitude everywhere he goes. he even manages to keep his aunt away from you, though you spot her circling like a vulture now that she sees your walls have weakened.

you sit with the girls, looking over the salvaged goods with a sort of detached irreverence. it's strange, the anxiety of knowing you have nothing left to your name combined with the way you simply don't want to keep any of the items they bring for your inspection. the photos survived, the rest is replaceable.

but then john himself is bringing a soggy box over, only one corner of the white cardboard singed. you leap when to your feet when you recognize the careful script of the logo on the top, a local formal shop.

"no way," you breathe as you rip the display box from his hands, turning until you can see for yourself that the plastic casing hasn't melted, that your wedding dress is still mostly white and soot-free.

"didn't know you kept this," john mutters but you're barely listening, ripping the box open like a kid at christmas. your mom is there suddenly, helping you to keep the dress off the ground as you unfold it to check for charring, and then the gaggle of biddies are there too, laying out construction bags on the lawn for you to drape it across to keep it clean. the strangest bridal party ever assembled.

you have high hopes until you get it turned over, the train discolored and sodden from where all the water had pooled in the box. tears come unbidden to your eyes as you mourn the loss of your beautiful dress - the one memento you hadn't been able to bear parting with after the divorce. someone's hands are on you, perhaps your moms, gentle and hesitant. whoever it is they shush your tears as you sob about it not being fair, how you just want it all back.

you're not sure which you mean.

but the hands are heavier on you now, more confident. it's not your mother's voice in your ear, quiet shushing turning to gravelly words. oh, honey, you never lost it. it's okay, we'll get it all back.

i'll get you a new one.

divider by @/rookthornesartistry

#fun fact we did actually find my nieces pie still in the oven and yes it did look like a soufle #price x reader #john Price x reader

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suengmi · 2 years ago

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- the ways stray kids show their love and affection

genre: fluff/romance, nonidol!au, gn!reader warnings: mentions of making out, nakedness? idk lol

anyways this is just major soft hours, one of my moots said i should do this i can't remember who it was pls lmk if it was you asljdls also unedited

♡ masterlist / pls reblog if you liked! it helps a lot ♡

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ bang chan

sweet kisses all over your face to wake you up, pressing his nose into the crook of your neck and gently nibbling you. “i’m bored wake up babe.” grunts when you ignore him. ends up pulling the sheets back so your naked body is exposed to the cold. “that’s what you get.” gets salty but then feels bad, covering you up again, then he really wakes you up. back hugs when you’re cooking for him. whining whenever you don’t pay attention to him, tugging at the edge of your shirt. sulks when you say you’re busy. doesn’t give a fuck about how clingy he is, but he knows you love it. holds your hand a little too hard when you’re walking together. kiss attacks always!!

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ lee know

stops you from crossing the street until he’s checked it. “stupid, look next time.” beats you twice in a board game but sees that you're sad that you’re not that good at it, but fails the third time just to see you smile and gloat about beating him. he loves seeing you happy, even if he has to purposely fail. leaves you notes everywhere, maybe just ‘i love yous’ mixed in with ‘i know you’ll forget this so don’t.’ text messages asking if you’ve eaten, and then getting mad and sending food to your door if you haven’t. swiftly kisses to the forehead aggressively saying you ‘deserve it’ but sounds like a threat. ‘you know i love you yeah?’ more aggressive kisses. ‘i won’t stop until you say you love me!!’

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ changbin

little wrestling matches on the couch, telling you that you’re silly for even trying. pulls you by the back of your hair if you’re not paying attention to him. “i left you the last piece of food.” always, always saves you the last piece no matter what it is. picks you up and throws you around, pretending he’s going to eat you bc apparently he’s a monster. but says you taste good so he doesn’t mind eating you. more wrestles. whenever you’re sad, he always cheers you up and never fails to make you laugh. does his trot impression of some old korean songs, full performance with your glitter jacket on that doesn’t fit him. ‘you still love me now? you better.’ knows you love being engulfed by him, so 90% of the time he is the big spoon. when he's feeling really romantic, he'll do a little picnic at the beach. always making sure it was at sunset because he knew it was your favourite time of the day.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ jisung

midnight trips to get take out, sitting in the car until 2am with both of your feet on the dashboard. ‘remember that time!’ always reminiscing about how you first met, nearly choking on your fries when you recall. kisses in the car, kisses in the house, kisses in the shower, kisses in the dark. ‘babe but i want it.’ chucks a tanty when you don’t buy him things. pouts and folds his arms. ‘if you loved me you would!’ holds the cuff of your jumper, mostly walking behind you whenever you go somewhere because he feels safe. morning calls, but especially night calls. he doesn’t care how you look at the end of the day, he just wants to see you and tell you he loves you. hiding himself in your jumper and saying there is enough room for two (when there isn't.)

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ hyunjin

taking you to art galleries, standing behind you with his head resting on yours. ends up putting his hands into your pockets from behind, cutely leading you around from the back. with hyunjin it’s not always words, sometimes it’s just his actions. he pushes your hair out of your face or tucks it behind your hair. mostly, he does your hair for you. always making sure your hair was out of your face because it annoyed you. brings you tea and sits with you if you’re studying or drawing or even watching tv, rubs your thigh gently to let you know that he doesn’t want to distract you, just shows you he wants to be with you. rubs your belly if you feel bloated and talks to it. 'you better stop being bloated or... i'll do something. idk what.' art dates!! always drawing together, even if you're shit he encourages you to keep going

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ seungmin

gently slips his fingers into yours without saying anything but smiling to himself when he sees you blush, he kind of loves that he makes you nervous. always taking the chance to make your cheeks tint pink. showers with seungmin, always washing your body and shampooing your hair for you, wet kisses in between. sometimes he’d gently press his nose on your naked skin, enjoying your scent but never admitting it. ‘it’s comforting’ he’d say in defence, ignoring you for the rest of the night. guiding you with his hand on your lower back, making sure you were safe no matter where you were. kisses to the forehead, the back of the hand, the back of your knees. seungmin doesn’t say it much, but he does love you. he shows it through everything else, knowing those words have such a weight to them.

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ felix

‘are you gonna cook!?’ jumping up and down when you say yes, annoying you the whole time you’re cooking or baking. ‘is it done? i can’t wait to eat it!!’ eats half of the food before it’s even cooked because he says it’s ‘too good.’ little play fights that would begin from felix nibbling at your fingers and then at your thighs. ‘little gremlin’ you’d end up joking, rolling around on the floor, bodies all over each other, which would end in a heated make out session and clothes far gone. he’d send you random texts, of random things. ‘hey i saw this flower, it's cute, yeah?’ ‘this potato looks like you. it’s too cute to eat T-T’ ‘you think i could eat 11 hot dogs in two minutes? hmm maybe.’

⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ jeongin

blowing raspberries on your tummy and holding you down. sometimes uses your foot as a telephone. ‘yes hello stinky foot line how can i stink you today?’ proceeds to try and hold your foot with his. 'shut up i can do it!!' probably be super sarcastic, mocking you when you tried to be cute with whatever you were saying. karaoke together, always singing out of pitch but though he’s laughing, encourages you to be more confident because he loves seeing you enjoy yourself. watches you sometimes, just admiring you but instantly whips his head around to pretend he wasn’t, head banging into something hanging from the wall. ‘mind your business’ he’d joke, walking away suspiciously.

♡ taglist: @blankdyean @l3visbby @daddyjoonchua @ipegchangbin @abcdefgiwsmcty ♡

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brendaareiss · 2 months ago

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CAL AND ANDRE HEADCANONS! Finally! I feel like there's some I have already said b4, but idk. Enjoy!

⚠️Triggers⚠️: SA, SH

- Andre furrowed his brows when he was concentrated, Cal poked his tongue out

- Andre was actually a great student. That's why most of the people didn't like him either, whether being because of envy or because they saw him as a nerd and annoying. But bro had +A on everything

- Cal on the other hand, was pathetic at studies. His best ever grade was a C

- They didn't actually hold hands most of the time, just intertwine pinkies unconsciously

-Cal always followed andre everywhere. It was not even a conscious act.

- They both talked shit abt their siblings

- Andre=bpd + psicopathy

- Cal= adhd + depression (duh).

- Andre paid attention on the smallest details and had rlly good memory. Like, something stupid Cal said years ago, andre remembered it like it was yesterday. Or he knew what things Cal liked or not, even if Cal hasn't told him, he knew it because he paid attention to what Cal was doing

- Cal was a chronic nail biter. Rachel tried putting nail polish on him to make it better, because Cal reached the point where his whole finger was covered in blood

-Cal has had many addictions in his life. It was all because his depression, he couldn't get happiness (dopamine) in anything in his life so he tried to get it somewhere else. That's why he started doing weed at a young age, well, until the possession charge. After that, he went straight to cutting. It wasn't as good as to get high, but at least it worked and wasn't illegal. He used to get blackout drunk too, trying to get dopamine from where he could.

- U can't tell me they didn't explore each other's bodies. Ofc they did (I like to think they would refer to that as "favors"), but they never rlly knew what the fuck they were. Were they boyfriends? Were they just friends with benefits? That's actually where the term "the army of two" appeared, trying to give what they had a tag or a "name". But they knew rlly well they weren't just friends. They knew each other too much, they were too similar and too connected to be just friends.

- Cal was sa'd from when he was 7 years old until he was 14 by his cousin, who was 8 years older than him. He never told anything to anyone, not even Andre, but he eventually figured it out. He was paranoid and very protective with his siblings (even though he didn't like them, it doesn't mean that they weren't siblings, Cal cared for them a lot), making sure his cousin NEVER approached them. And if someone older talked to them he would get rlly anxious and freaked out.

- Andre always cared too much about Cal. He knew the state of Cal's mental health and physical health (anemic ass) so he always was there for him. And I like to think not only andre, but his family too. Feeding him until Cal couldn't physically bring the fork to his mouth (I'm sure Andre's mom would be the one to say: "Cal, you have to eat more! You're so thin!")

- Andre was not always seen with the Gabriel's (because Cal's sister HATES andre with all her guts) but Calvin was ALWAYS seen with the kriegman's. Andre's dad always knew that when he mentioned "family vacation/trip", Cal was tagging along.

-Cal learned to stay calm when Andre had his bpd splits (extreme anger most of the time). There was a time when he actually felt rlly bad when Andre said what things to him or just screamed and pushed him around, but as time passed, he learned it was just another normal thing on Andre. That's why in the car scene, he at first didn't take him seriously, he then shut the fuck up and tried to get out of the situation as quickly as he could afterwards.

- Andre never really knew what the fuck was wrong with him. He wasn't like Cal, he didn't get diagnosed with shit and didn't even went to a psychologist. He thought he was just really aggressive and nothing more.

- Andre was low-key an alcoholic. He never got blackout drunk though

- The only thing Andre didn't clean, was his car. Maybe once in a month (or a week if there where a lot of empty beer cans in the back seats)

- Cal rlly liked sour candies.

- Andre slept A LOT.

- idk if I said this b4 but Andre's hand was always on Cal's thigh while he drove

- most of their hangouts were sleepovers. They seriously couldn't live without each other

- OF COURSE the reason why andre didn't like Rachel it's because he was EXTREMELY jealous of her. He felt like she was taking Cal away from him. He also felt that she talked shit about Cal when he wasn't there. The night Cal ditched Rachel for him, Andre's ego was 100% fueled

- Andre had migraines. Yeah. He didn't throw up though

- Following, andre NEVER puked. Like, he probably just threw up 1 time in his life. Cal on the other hand, every time he got sick, he vomited.

-Cal ALWAYS forgot his things EVERYWHERE. His parents didn't even make him his own keys, because they knew Cal would probably lose them too.

- As kids, Cal adored sharks and Andre lions and bears. (Cal adored sharks all his life though)

- Andre's grandparents who lived in Germany, had a bigass house with a garden. They had ALSO, a bigass dog. Of course Andre as a kid spent most of the time in the garden, playing with his brother and the dog.

- The only thing that made Andre calm down when he was angry, was changing the situation, making him forget about it, talking about another thing or doing another thing that isn't related to the reason he's mad. Distract him and make him forget why he was mad in the first place.

#zero day #cal gabriel #calvin gabriel #zero day 2003 #caldre #zero day movie #zeroday #andre kriegman #anemiccaltruther #bpdandretruther

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the-owl-tree · 8 months ago

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Deer's Xenofiction List - The Good, the Bad, and the Furry

Compilation of my xenofiction books I've read, my opinions on them, and ones that I've yet to get to. Will be updated as I go along, if I remember. Books I have not read have an asterisk (*) in front of them. Not a complete list, I will update as I gather more titles.

Adaptations will be listed along with the source material and not as a separate entry.

While I am accepting additions to the list, please make sure your suggestion isn't already listed.

Last Updated: 24-06-2024

-New additions to the books section

-Categories and sub-categories being considered: short films, animal transformation (human to animal).

-Content Warning: Mentions of sexual assault, animal abuse, animal death, and violence. Only a handful of entries have content warnings because they were given to me prior. Please look into the works beforehand to see if you feel comfortable engaging with them, this list is not a content warning guide.

Books

Warriors by Erin Hunter - A long-running series following the drama of four groups of feral cat groups in a forest.

Rating: sucks just read the first arc and nothing else. unless you have childhood nostalgia for this series you probably won't like anything that comes after.

Seekers by Erin Hunter - another animal series from the erin hunter team. It follows a group of bears searching for a safe place to live.

Rating: It's fine. I only read the first arc. While it has a much drearier tone than Warriors at times as it deals with growing environmental impact of global warming and human interference. If you like Erin Hunter's writing style, you might like this one.

*Survivors by Erin Hunter - Look we just gotta get these out of the way, these guys have a monopoly on kid's animal books. Survivors follows a dog named Lucky (yes. really) trying to survive in an area abandoned by humans.

Rating: I read the first book and nothing else. I'm sure it's...fine, suitable for a dog-obsessed young reader but as it is, no one's really rushed to recommend it to me. I'm sure it has fans somewhere, but I can't really speak for them.

*Bravelands by Erin Hunter - uuuhhh animals? in Africa? Surviving? I guess? Sorry my bias against Hunter is showing, but at some point you start to wonder what's going on here, you can feel them trying to recreate the success of Warriors.

Rating: idk what to tell you, never read it and probably never will. If you're a person who likes lion stories, you might enjoy this, maybe? Been told the hyena rep is appalling, another sad day for hyena lovers everywhere.

*Bamboo Kingdom by (you guessed it) Erin Hunter - It follows three pandas (apparently) each in different panda kingdoms.

Rating: I couldn't tell you shit about this one to be honest. You want more bears? Here's bears!

The Bees by Laline Paull - A novel following the life of Flora, a sanitation bee in her hive who rises through the ranks of her devout society.

Rating: Unfocused at times and a rushed ending, but a gripping story nonetheless. Would recommend!

Pod by Laline Paull - Follows the life of Eira, a spinner dolphin from an "exotic tribe" who is forcibly taken into another group of dolphin's to become a member of their leaders harem.

Rating: This book relies on the mythos of "dolphin rape" with numerous, non-graphic sexual assault scenes. While interesting concepts are introduced and, at times, the plot becomes compelling; it otherwise flounders its premise with messy execution and poorly thought out ideas. Also there's an American spy dolphin named Google, make of that what you will.

*The Wildlings and its sequel The Hundred Names of Darkness by Nilanjana Roy - A book about a small band of cats lives in the labyrinthine alleys and ruins of Nizamuddin, an old neighbourhood in Delhi.

Rating: Recommended multiple times to me by different people, no warnings given.

Varjak Paw (and sequels) by S. F. Said and illustrated by Dave Mckean - A short book about Varjak, a Mesopotamian Blue Cat, and his journey to learn an ancient art from his family’s past.

Rating: Varjak Paw is unique with striking imagery and interesting ideas. However, the writing in itself is far from anything special. The book it at its best when accompanied by Mckean’s striking visuals.

*The Underneath by Kathi Appelt - An abused dog hides under the porch of a home to escape from its owner. Based on a reply I've been given, do not ask me to expand anymore on the plot of this book, I have no goddamn clue.

Rating: Described as a formative book for reading xenofiction, it’s been recommended highly! Contains heavy topics such as animal abuse, be warned.

*Fire Bringer by David Clement-Davies - A novel following a red deer named Rannoch and a prophecy that looms over him.

Rating: It seems to have a decent fanbase and it's been recommended to me a handful of times.

*Bambi, a Life in the Woods by Felix Salten - A coming-of-age novel following a roe deer named Bambi. Best known from the 1942 Disney film.

Rating: If you're a deerhead, check it out I guess!

*Raptor Red by Robert T. Bakker - Often (favorably) compared to a textbook, Raptor Red follows a female Utahraptor. Written by a paleontologist, it's meant to be a realistic look at dinosaur's social habits and their interactions with their world.

Rating: Yet to read but sounds cool as fuck. This book contains a heavy emphasis on realism and world-building, with little dialogue. It may be slow for some readers!

Black Beauty by Anna Sewell - Horse girls, certain English classes, and so on, Black Beauty is fairly well-known. Though for those unaware, Black Beauty follows the titular Black Beauty's life in Victorian days.

Rating: It's a classic! Pulls at your heart strings! Just typing this out makes me want to reread it.

Watership Down by Richard Adams - Similar to Black Beauty, I can't imagine anyone reading this list doesn't know about the tale of a group of rabbit's trying to survive a harsh world.

Rating: It's well-written with a lively world, but its treatment of its female cast reveals a deep gendered bias in the writing.

*Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert. C. O'Brien - Mostly known from the (excellent) Don Bluth adaptation, the book follows Mrs. Frisby and he encounter with a group of highly intelligent rats.

Rating: Yet to read.

*Redwall by Brian Jacques - A 22 book series following a group of anthrophormic animals who live in Redwall Abbey and their call to action to defend themselves from "vermin".

Rating: Yet to read

Guardians of Ga'Hoole by Kathryn Lasky - A 31 book series following a group of owls and their attempts to thwart evil. The first arc follows Soren and his attempts to find the owls of Ga'Hoole and beat the 'Pure Ones' while the later books act as an epilogue and prequel.

Rating: First half read and loved! Highly recommend! Handling of Kludd is...meh.

Note: It has an animated film adaptation! While not entirely faithful, it still does a great job keeping to the themes of the books, trimming the fat, and telling a complete story. It also has two video games, one on DS and one on ah other consoles? Both are fun, I like the Wii version.

*(sorta?) Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland - Most people reading this will know this one! It takes place in a world of dragons with seven tribes. The first arc follows the exploits of prophecized dragonets and their attempts to end a war.

Rating: I've yet to finish it. The writing is skewed for a younger audience but is charming nonetheless.

Note: It has a graphic novel adaptation illustrated by Mike Holmes.

*Duncton Wood (First book of the Duncton Chronicles) by William Horwood - A novel the three groups of moles in Duncton Woods and the tyranny of a powerful mole named Mandrake.

Rating: Not yet read, heard good things! lots of mole sex apparently.

The Plague Dogs by Richard Adams - After escaping an animal research facility, Snitter and Rowf escape out into the wild where they must survive a hostile world.

Rating: ough. my heart. would recommend.

Note: Well-known for its animated adaptation, would recommend it as well.

*Silverwing by Kenneth Oppel - The first in the Silverwing book series, Silverwing follows a bat named Shade who loses his colony during a migration to the south.

Rating: Yet to read but I've heard good things!

Note: Currently has an animated television adaptation, go check it out!

*A Black Fox Running by Brian Carter - The story follows the tale of a dark-furred fox named Wulfgar and his human nemesis, Scoble the trapper, over the course of time.

Rating: Yet to read.

*The Books of the Named/Ratha’s Creature (First book of the Ratha’s Creature series) by Clare’s Bell - Ratha’s Creature is set in prehistoric times following the story of Ratha, a Dinaelurus nimravid(?) and her role as a female in her Clan.

Yet to read, often recommended in the Xenofiction scene.

*The Taken (Book one of the Foxcraft trilogy) by Inbali Inserles - Follows the story of Isla, a fox kit who loses her home and family and must survive in the world of “furless” while mastering Foxcraft.

Recommended by @girlashfur

*Hurry Home, Candy by Meindert DeJong and illustrations by Maurice Sendak - Described as "heavy", Hurry Home, Candy follows the life and struggles of a dog named Candy.

Recommended by @mosshugs

Felidae (the first book in a nine book series) by Akif Pirinçci - A crime novel following Francis the cat as he tries to uncover the truth behind a series of murders in his new neighborhood.

Rating: I haven't read the novel and nor do I want to, but I did watch the adaptation. It's a grisly one but apart from the violent murders and striking imagery in the film, you're not missing much by skipping it. I can't really recommend this one for a variety of reasons.

Important: I can't stop you from reading the book or watching the animated adaptation, I watched the animated adaptation, but please do not financially support the author in any way. Pirinçci is a far-right dipshit and does not deserve support.

The Animals of Farthing Wood by Colin Dann - With eight books under its belt, The Animals of Farthing Wood originally started as one book about a group of woodland animals trying to find a new home after losing their old one to human development. It was followed by six sequels and one prequel.

Rating: Haven't read the books but I love the animated adaptation of it! I recommend checking out both.

*Ragweed (First book of the Dimwood book series) by Avi - A book about the adventures of a mouse seeing the world.

Recommended by @meanling

*A Dog's Life: An Autobiography of a Stray by Ann M. Martin - Written by the same author of the Babysitter's Club series, A Dog's Life chronicles the life of a dog named Squirrel.

Recommended by @meanling

*Scary Stories for Young Foxes by Christian McKay Heidicker and illustrations by Junyi Wu - Scary Stories for Young Foxes is a book consisting of several stories all told by a mother to her kits.

Recommended anonymously

*The Sight (and its sequel The Fell) by David Clement-Davies - Set in the same universe as Fire Bringer, The Sight follows a pack of wolves cursed by a lone wolf, Morgra, whose powers foretell the destiny of one of the mother wolf's pups: Larka, a white wolf gifted with a mysterious power known as The Sight.

Not yet read.

*Last of the Curlews by Fred Bodsworth - A realistic depiction of the journey of the last of a critically endangered and soon to be extinct bird.

Not yet read.

Note: Has an animated adaptation!

*Wish Tree by Katherine Applegate - From the same author as The One and Only Ivan! While this story includes animals, it's main character is an old oak tree named Red! The perspective is really interesting. She is both the neighborhood wish tree, and a home for many animals. A family of Muslim refugees move into the neighborhood, with the kid, Samar, becoming attached to the tree.

Not yet read.

*Pax by Sara Pennypacker - A war approaches and Peter must release his pet fox when his father enlists. The story alternates between Peter as he starts a journey to find his pet, and Pax who is learning to survive in the wild.

Not yet read.

*A Wolf Called Wander by Rosanne Perry - Inspired by the wolf 0R-7 (Journey), we follow Swift. After a rival wolf pack attacks, Swift's family scatters and must find a new home, taking an 1000 mile journey across the Pacific Northwest.

Not yet read.

*The Tygrine Cat by Inbali Iserles - Alone and lost, a young cat called Mati is struggling to be accepted by a colony of street cats in the bustling marketplace at Cressida Lock. What Mati doesn’t know is that he is the last of a vital, age-old breed and that a mysterious feline assassin named Mithos is close on his trail. With his enemy nearing, can Mati learn to harness his ancient powers — before a deadly feline force destroys both him and his newfound friends and takes the spirit of every cat on earth?

Not yet read.

Fifteen Dogs by André Alexis - The ancient Greek Gods make a bet and endow fifteen dogs from a shelter with human-level intelligence.

Rating: I can't say I loved this book but nonetheless I appreciated it's prose. If you can get past outdated pack dynamics and some...questionable writing around its female characters, there's a lot to appreciate. Mind you, this is a book for adults and does not shy away from sexual material.

Comics (Webcomics included)

Beasts of Burden written by Evan Dorkin and illustrated by Benjamin Dewey and Jill Thompson - The comics follow along the adventures of the ‘Beasts of Burden’ a group of animals who investigate paranormal happenings in their neighborhood.

Rating: With gorgeous art and an interesting world, I recommend! Just be warned, it is bloody and the sory doesn't hold your hand.

Note: Beasts of Burden currently has 21 comics published in Dark Horse Comics.

What Lurks Beneath by ArualMeow - A feral colony must grapple with a food shortage while simultaneously tussling with the divide between two groups of cats.

Rating - A highly compelling read. Each character plays a role in the unravelling drama of three siblings and you will walk away loving someone.

Note: Ongoing!

I Hope So by Detective Calico - A rewrite of My Pride turned into an original story, I Hope So follows the story of three lionesses navigating both the complicated politics of the lion prides but also the harsh environment they must survive in.

Rating: Slow to update but absolutely worth it! I Hope So is a charming and interesting read. It’s yet to finish but it’s far enough that you'll be able to invest yourself in the world and characters with no trouble!

Note: Ongoing!

Tofauti Sawa by TheCynicalHound - A revenge story that follows a spotted hyena named Sahara.

Rating: Tofauti Sawa is not here to endear you to its protagonists or hold your hand. It can be a tough read but a worthwhile one nonetheless. I need to catch up but I recommend it!

Note: Ongoing!

*Golden Shrike by Doeprince - A story about twin deer and their friends and their search to retrieve three fallen stars for a bored God.

Rating: Yet to read but I've heard good things!

Note: Ongoing!

*Doe of Deadwood by Songdog - It follows a deer who has a pact with a demon that takes the form of a tree. It has some heavy themes and light gore.

Recommended by @beeloaf

Note: Complete!

Jet and Harley by Doeprince - Described as a beautiful piece on grief and moving on, Jet and Harley stars a kitty cast and gorgeous artwork.

Rating: Recommended anonymously. It's still starting but it has some strong set up and charming writing going for it, I recommend keeping an eye on it!

Note: Ongoing!

Preeny Has to Repeat 6th Grade by momodriller - A love letter to adoptables and the creativity of young artists, this charming comic utilizes designs bought from adoptables on DeviantArt! It follows the story of Preeny, a young cat with a magic brush tail and what happens when her whole world turns upside down.

Rating: Beyond adorable, charming and sweet. There's a lot of love put into this webcomic and it shows! Highly recommend.

Note: Ongoing!

Africa by Arven92 - The story of a female leopard named Africa and her quest to protect her family and loved ones while her territory comes under threat.

Rating: Gorgeously drawn and with a story that twists, Africa pulls no punches in showing you the wickedness of its antagonists but also the enduring bond of a family.

Note: Ongoing!

*Oren's Forge by Teagan Gavet - A webcomic that explores the dynamics of predator and prey and what happens when those divisions fall in the story of a pair of pine martens and their journey for sanctuary.

Rating: Not yet read

Note: Ongoing!

*Pride of Baghdad written by Brian K. Vaughan and Niko Henrichon - A graphic novel falling the fictionalized account of the real life escape of four lions from the Baghdad Zoo after an American bombing in 2003.

Rating: Not yet read.

Content warning for graphic violence, gore, animal death, and a brief one panel depiction of sexual assault.

*I Didn't Know by Songdog - A comic about a cat exiled from her Church.

Rating: Not yet read.

Note: Ongoing

*Fox Fires by Pipilia - This ongoing Webtoon follows a Tanuki named Raate as she goes on a journey to find the missing "Fox Fires", a gate between the land of the dead and living. She encounters many friends such as birds who are messangers for elves, magic cats, and normal mean wolves.

Not yet read.

Note: Ongoing

Manga & Anime

*Silver Fang Gin and Ginga Densetsu Weed written and illustrated by Yoshihiro Takahashi - The original and the sequel respectively, the manga series follow Akita dogs, Gin and Weed. While Silver Fang focuses on Gin's search to fight the monstrous "Red Helmet", Weed follows the titular Weed and his search for his father.

Rating: I've not read this but upon getting recommended it, multiple people warned me about the misogyny in the series. Ye be warned. Additionally, the manga is (apparently) very gory!

Note: Both have anime adaptations. Weed's opening is a fucking banger go watch it at the very least.

Beastars (and Beast Complex by extension) written and illustrated by Paru Itagaki - In a world of anthromorphic animals, Beastars follows Legosi, a young wolf navigating his complicated feelings towards other species and learning more about his world.

Rating: Beastars is action-packed, fun, emotional, and dramatic! The first half is a compelling story of identity and how we interact with one another and the complex forces of society that drive our feelings, all wrapped up in a wonderous animal metaphor. As a coming-of-age story, it carries themes of desire, sexual desire, yearning, shame, and more. The second half is eeeeehhh not as strong, but I still recommend it nonetheless!

Note: Beastars currently has an anime adaptation by Studio Orange! It looks fantastic and has some really nice quality of life changes. Highly recommend.

Chi's Sweet Home written and illustrated by Konami Kanata - An adorable slice-of-life story following a cute kitten named Chi adapting to her new home.

Rating: It's just plain cute! If you're looking for something adorable to help you relax, I recommend this one. It's for a younger age demographic so don't go in expecting deep storylines or anything.

Note: Chi's Sweet Home has two adaptations: one with traditional 2D Japanese animation and two seasons and a 2016 3DCGI adaptation. I'd recommend the original adaptation but that's pure preference.

Nyankees written and illustrated by Atsushi Okada - A comedy manga that depicts street cats as brawling "yankees", drawing them as both cat and human to depict their brawls over food, territory, and ladies!

Rating: It's funny, I can't deny the humor in this one makes me chuckle. It's a little racy but otherwise, a fun, light-hearted read.

*A Cat's Tale written by Sae-Him Kwon and Hyeon-Jung Kim and illustrated by Kwon-Sam - A thrilling tale of murder and deception from the animals living on the Sae-Min's farm from the point of view of an elderly cat.

Rating: Yet to read, discovered on Anime-Planet's search system.

Monotone Blue written and illustrated by Nagabe - A story set in high school, it's a BL manga that follows Hachi the cat and Aoi the lizard.

Rating: Yet to read, but I adore the author's other works so I have high expectations!

*Neko to Ryuu written by Amara and illustrated by Sasaki Izumi- A cat raises a baby dragon as her own.

Rating: Yet to read but come on, that sounds adorable.

A Story of Seven Lives written and illustrated by Shirawaka Gin - A Story of Seven Lives follows Nanao, a former housecat turned street cat after a terrible tragedy.

Rating: It's a tearjerker and absolutely adorable. The artwork is lovely and all the cats' designs look fantastic. if you're interested in a simple drama about the relationship between cats and people, i would highly recommend it.

Note: There are human protagonists! If you want pure animal protagonists, maybe skip this one.

*The Walking Cat: A Cat's-Eye-View of the Zombie Apocalypse by Tomo Kitaoka - Zombies roam the earth and civilization as we know it is dead. When Jin—a young man trying to survive the chaos—rescues a cat from certain death, the unlikely duo sets off on a quest to find a mysterious island where Jin’s wife may be alive. Witness the zombie apocalypse through the eyes of a fearless feline whose curiosity may kill him yet.

Rating: Not yet read.

PLEASE READ: Due to its setting, this series has been given a handful of content warnings, please heed this warning before you read. Content warning for gore, death, sexual abuse, physical abuse.

Film

i'm not gonna put every disney or dreamworks film on here i'm sure a majority of us know that disney makes a lot of already popular animal films. if possible, i'd like to spotlight some films that weren't made by big studios and/or don't get a lot of attention. Further note, some of these are adaptations of children's books. I'm cheating a little here mainly because the adaptations are more well-known and probably more appealing for readers of this list than the original books. Uh, sorry.

The Brave Little Toaster directed by Jerry Rees - The film follows the adventures of sentient kitchen appliances and the search for their owner.

Rating: Aimed for a younger audience, it's an adorable viewing for all ages.

Isle of Dogs directed by Wes Anderson - In the year 2038, canine flu breaks out in a futuristic Japan and all dogs are sent to 'trash island' where they fight to survive. One day, a young Japanese boy crashes down on trash island to find his dog.

Rating: The stop-motion animation is gorgeous, the writing is fun and charming, and the visuals are amazing, however the film has rightfully garnered criticism for its stereotypical depiction of Japanese society and 'white savior' narrative around one of its human characters.

Chirin no Suzu (English Title: Ringing Bell/Chirin's Bell) directed by Masami Hata - On a farm, Chirin witnesses the death of his mother to a wolf. Distraught and filled with rage, Chirin vows to get revenge and trains to do so.

Rating: A fantastic and visually striking film, the film's cute aesthetics hide a sombre and darker story. Would recommend!

*Vuk (English Title: The Little Fox) directed by Atilla Dargay - A Hungarian animated film that follows the life of a fox and how he must use his wits to survive.

Rating: Not yet watched.

Arashi no Yoru Ni (English Title: One Stormy Night) directed by Gisaburō Sugii - On one stormy night, a sheep and a wolf take refuge from a storm in the same abandoned home and befriend each other...unaware of what species the other is until later. They strike an unusual friendship that's tested when their respective groups begin to clash.

Rating: Cute, sweet, and well-animated, One Stormy Night is well known for the romantic undertones of its two leads. I think it's adorable and highly recommend.

Note: It received another adaptation of the same source material, a 3D animated show where they made the sheep a girl. Do with that information what you will.

Leafy, A Hen into the Wild directed by Oh Sung-yoon - A farm chicken dreams of one day living a life in the wild and raising her own clutch of eggs and, after faking her death to escape, finally gets the opportunity to do so.

Rating: A gorgeous animated film with moments that will tug at your heart strings. It's got some kiddy jokes with poop and fart jokes but they're not too distracting. Would recommend!

Note: Please find a version with the ORIGINAL ending, not the censored one. It is more thematically fitting and one heck of a gut-punch.

Underdog/A Dog's Courage directed by Lee Chun-baek and Oh Sung-yoon - After being abandoned by his owners, a dog joins up with a pack of other dogs in search of 'paradise'.

Rating: Despite some poor pacing and wonky tonal problems, I think this movie is still worth checking out! The character designs are cute and it's decent entertainment if you've got some time.

Note: There's a post that says this movie is about dogs escaping to North Korea, it's not true. They escape from North Korea to South Korea.

Padak directed by Dae-Hee Lee - A dark and sometimes brutal film about a wild fish that ends up in a restaurant fish tank that overlooks the ocean. The film stays there and the audience is given a tense, nerve-wracking narrative of life and death.

Rating: A fantastic, emotional movie that uses its limited setting to its full advantage. It's brutal and unforgiving but one hundred percent worth the watch.

Khumba directed by Anthony Silverston - A film that follows a zebra with only half his stripes and his journey to gain the rest of them in hopes of being accepted by his herd.

Rating: It's fine, a little wonky but it has a lot of heart.

Earnest and Celestine directed by Stéphane Aubier, Vincent Patar and Benjamin Renner - A gorgeous 2D French animated film based on a series of children's films about a bear who takes in an orphan mouse in an anthropomorphic society that does not approve.

Rating: you're going to get cavities at how sweet this film is. Charming, funny, and visually stunning, you would be remiss if you didn't watch this wonderful film at least once.

The Land Before Time directed by Don Bluth - After tragedy strikes, young Apatosaurus must embark on a journey to find the Great Valley.

Rating: It's a classic! A bit cutesy and meanders at times, but still worth a watch.

Note: Pretty well known for the host of direct-to-DVD sequel movies it produced, a television series, and a video game.

Television (Online Productions Included)

My Pride directed by Maddi Patton - My Pride is an independent internet production that follows the tale of a disabled lion named Nothing trying to exist in her cruel society.

Rating: My Pride is clearly a work of passion, one can’t deny the creator clearly had a vision of what she wanted from this show. However, the execution is flawed and the handling of disability has been (rightfully) criticized. While the animators and voice actors have clearly put a lot of love and effort into the project, the writing falls short of what it could be.

Note: The series ends on a cliffhanger and has been discontinued. You have been warned.

My Little Pony (Generations 1-5) developed by Hasbro - If you like ponies, here you go! While G1 did have a human character, G3 to G5 are purely horsies. Each generation has a different story and main cast to follow.

Rating: Very obviously for a younger age demographic, the generations do have their own charm! G4 is popular for a reason with a sleek style, witty writing, and a lovely cast of characters.

Azurehowl and Azurehowl Reborn created by azurehowlshilach - Bet this one brings back nostalgia lol Azurehowl is set in a world where wolves have the magic of dragons! It centers around Ruuza who may be more special than she realizes.

Rating: i gotta rewatch this one to make my thoughts clear but i remember finding it charming. Azurehowl Reborn appears to be the remake/reboot of the original series.

Note: Ongoing!

Twelve by Petpyves - An original series about May and Imp, a duo who's jobs are to jump from body to body and guide them to a better end, results vary. It's a work of love and has some really strong concepts and writing, as well as doing its best to handle more mature subejcts with respect.

Rating: It's rough around the edges but nonetheless a great show to binge! I recommend it, though it's been a while since I watched it.

Note: Complete!

No Evil by Betsy Lee - In the land of myths and fables incarnate a group of spirits live their casual lives alongside humans, until a cataclysmic force thought to be dealt with shows once again in the world. A prequel series to the webcomic Brother Swan.

Rating: Not yet watched.

Note: Complete!

Burrow's End by Dimension 20 - A Dungeons & Dragons campaign following a group of stoats.

Rating: Not yet watched.

Note: Complete!

Video Games

Okami developed by Clover Studios - You play as the wolf Amaterasu on her journey to save the world from forces of darkness.

Rating: A classic for a reason. Fun to play, great story, lovely characters. Would recommend!

Stray developed by Bluetwelve Studios - In a walled city populated by robots, you play as a cat.

Rating: ending made me bawl. Gameplay is a bit clunky, the platforming is essentially hitting buttons to automatically jump to your destination instead of you jumping yourself. Otherwise, would recommend!

*Tokyo Jungle developed Crispy's! - Set in a deserted, furistic Tokyo, you can select from a wide array of animals to play as and survive.

Rating: never played but maaan do I want to.

*Spirit of the North developed by Infuse Studio- You play as an ordinary red fox whose story becomes entwined with the guardian of the Northern Lights, a female spirit fox.

Rating: Yet to play.

Untitled Goose Game developed by House House - honk

Rating: honk

*Copoka developed by Inaccurate Interactive - You play as a pigeon trying to build a nest in a totalitarian state.

Rating: Yet to play.

*Seasons After Fall developed by Swing Swing Submarine - 2D platformer where you play as a fox in a magical land.

Rating: Yet to play.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon developed by Spike Chunsoft - A rogue-like RPG in which you take the form as a human turned Pokemon and must navigate your world. There are currently seven games to choose from, each with a unique world and story.

Rating: I love PMD, I'm putting it here because I'm biased. I love it a lot and it fits the criteria so here you go!

Cattails & *Cattails: Wildwood Story developed by Falcon Development - With the creator known for their WC fan game, Untold Tales, Cattails branched out from the bones of the fan game and became an original game of it's own! In this RPG, you play as a cat where you can hunt, fight, find love, and solve puzzles. Wildwood expands on the base mechanics, adding in farming, characters, and more!

Rating: I found the first Cattails to be cute and simple. It's not an intensive RPG, the mechanics become repetitive after a while. If you're someone who likes getting into the rhythm of a grindy rpg, you'll like this one. Not yet played Wildwood but I've heard it's great!

Rain World developed by Videocult - You play as a nomadic slugcat in a brutal world with only your wits, agility, and strength to survive. Eat, hunt, flee, and hibernate while finding out the secrets of your world.

Rating: Okay. this game is HARD. Like unfair hard. Imprecise controls, brutal difficulty, and sometimes really unfair save points - this one is tough. However, it is gorgeous and it's really fun seeing all the beautiful environments the creators came up with. Enemies are also incredibly complex, reacting to each other and you in different ways. It's an acquired taste, while it wasn't for me personally, I would recommend giving it a try at the very least.

Miscellaneous

Additions that aren't necessarily xenofiction but pertain to it in some way.

Cheek by Jowl: Animals in Children's Literature by Ursula K. Le Guin -A fantastic essay that explores the role of the animal in children's literature from its role as something to reflect human society, or how it teaches children about animals. Furthermore, it explores the ways in which xenofiction can intentionally or unintentionally reinforce human bigotry through what we deem the "natural" order of the world.

Rating: Please read if you're interested in xenofiction! A fantastic essay that kicks you off thinking critically about what xenofiction has to say. The essay has a striking section on Watership Down that I highly recommend reading.

Cardinal West (YouTube) - A YouTube channel that discusses xenofiction. Videos that I recommend to start with are:

How (Not) to Write Xenofiction: A Literary Autopsy of “One for Sorrow, Two for Joy” by Clive Woodall (CW for discussions of sexual assault)

How Adapting The Fox and the Hound Changed Animation

#NotNOT A COMPLETE LIST!! i'm still updating it!1 #but i'd like to post it now so others can add #deers xenofiction list

215 notes · View notes

blarshwritezz · 7 months ago

Note

hi if u dont mind i would love a mafia x male spy reader (gn if you ur not comfy with that) so the mafia boss pretends to be the mission partner for the reader just for fun he almist kileed the reader on multiple occasions but the reader misunderstands and thinks that the mafia boss was just helping him albeit in a weird and rather violent way and although reader has a suspicion that his partner (the mafia boss) isnt who he says he is due to skme odd similarities between him and the target of his mission (that being the Mafia boss) and the fact that his partner could easily waltz in notorious criminals manors and party and one day everything just clicks for the reader and they try to escape but the mafia boss knew thus so he kidnapped em and the live happily ever after (idk how to end this so just do what you deem fit ty!!!)

(oh yeah its fine if ur not comfortable or just don't want to make my request im not paying you so you hqbe no obligations to do so remember to take care of yourself <333 /p)

(and if i could could i become 🦀 anon)

Yes! Welcome, 🦀 anon!

Yandere Mafia Boss x Spy Reader

M yan x gn reader (sorry, I prefer to do gn for non-nsfw asks)

TW - general yandere behavior, drugging, implied kidnapping

Your mission was simple, at least on paper. Simply gain intel on a notorious mafia boss. But if it was that easy, you wouldn't have been working at it for so long.

It didn't help that your partner for this mission was...unusual. Not a bad guy, really, just strange. Sometimes you almost thought he was trying to kill you. You'd often catch him staring at you. You even felt his gaze when you swore no one was around.

Not to mention, danger was ever prevalent around him. He always managed to save you, though. But his face did often look rather annoyed...you just assumed he was one of those people with a really bad rbf.

But it was also suspicious how he was able to so easily and casually waltz into the homes or parties of very high-profile people. People you'd never be able to get near without months of careful planning. Maybe he just had good connections?

But all these coincidences were getting a bit too...convenient. If you needed to get in somewhere, he got you in the front gate. If you needed something, he miraculously had it only a day or two after at the latest.

And worst of all, you still haven't managed to track down this damn mafia boss! It didn't help that nobody knew what he looked like.

"Maybe he's right under your nose." His deep voice startled you out of your thoughts. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, holding you close. Despite his cold exterior, he was pretty touchy and clingy. But...sort of sweet. You were glad to have met him, even if this mission was looking like a bust.

"But where? Where haven't we checked?"

"Well, our organization may be high security, but not impossible to infiltrate for a man like that." Was he implying that one of your own coworkers could be your target? Impossible!

But...now it all seemed to come together. Those coincidences...weren't just coincidences. He really has been right under your nose this whole time.

No wonder he could go wherever he wanted and get anything he desired. He had power and influence...more than you thought.

"I-Impossible! Our organization has the highest security possible! I'd know if someone like that could be...beside me..." It was a sad attempt to cover up your newest theory, but also to try and reassure yourself. If this was true, then you weren't as good of a spy as you thought...

You got up, or tried to at least. He kept his grip tight on you.

He knew.

"I can't just let you go now. You know my identity. So I'll just have to keep you as my newest little toy." In seconds his arm lowered to prevent you from moving your arms as he quickly used his other to cover your mouth and nose with a rag.

Chloroform.

"Just sleep...Be a good pet and I'll be sure to reward you very well..." Despite your struggling, sleep soon took you. No one ever heard from you again...no one but him, of course.

I'm sorry, this one feels so rushed and short, I was having a tough time getting inspired 😭

Forgive me, 🦀 anon, for I have failed

#blarsh writes #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #male x reader #yandere x you #anon ask #yandere x darling #yandere x male darling #male yandere x reader #male yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere mafia #mafia yandere #mafia boss yandere #yandere mafia boss

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olivianyx · 4 months ago

Text

A FEW UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY 🎀

Sooooo there's still more I've manifested!

🎀 money, money, money, must be funny in a rich mans world~ lmaoo just more and more money everyday!

🎀 I stopped listening to subliminals for a while and I saw major results like my hair growing over an inch, my lashes getting longer and prettier, my weight going down, and I grew an inch again y'all 😭 I'm 173cm rn 😩 I wanna be tall as my boyfriend gojo hehe 🦋🦋 but not exactly tall as him but a lil shorter lol then I can't wear heels 😭 or my boy be looking like my son instead of my bf lmaoo

🎀 minimalist skincare products!

🎀 my skin tone lightening up a bit 🍃 like I didn't notice it until my family members and peers complimented me.

🎀 my grades going high again!

🎀 okay this one's a bit personal, but lemme get this straight. I mentioned in my last success story post that I got closer to crush... When in fact I wasn't even in love with her 😭 that was just admiration, not love. I realised my worth, and I stopped putting efforts, now the ship has sunk. She isn't bothered anymore, and me too since I was the only one obsessed. No offence but she wasn't worth my time. So I decided to spend it on satoru instead 🎀🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

🎀 my parents becoming more lenient nowadays 🙌

🎀 I've been getting more free foods and snacks! People love to hang out more with me! 🤍

🎀 my singing skills improving! I wanted to sound like lana, it's not exactly like hers but I'm getting there!

🎀 there's still more I'm just lazy to type lol

MY RESPAWN JOURNEY

So I haven't yet respawned yet since I'm too attached to this reality. I'm still scripting a custom dr that I wanna respawn and also my jjk dr too. So when I finish (idk myself when I'm gonna finish lol) I will surely respawn.

But don't worry! This account will be run by another consciousness that I replace. I know I manifested stuffs here, I enjoy and all, but deep deep down I realised that I never wanna be here. I belong to the lands somewhere far away, not in this city 😭 I'm just too attached to this reality that's making me feel guilty to leave.

I'm working on it tho. I mean I deserve everything, why would I feel guilty for having what I want, right? I've encountered the worst traumas and situations here, yet something inside me is telling me not to leave this reality, while also feeling that I don't deserve to be here, and somewhere better where I have everything I want.

I remember bawling my eyes out cus I don't wanna be here anymore, yet feeling guilty to leave. Everyone has a journey, so do I. I know this ain't gonna be longer and ik it's already done, I'll respawn once my script is done. Keeping this in my mind, I'm spending my last few days here being happy and I'm doing everything I want so I don't feel something irrelevant while I leave. I wanna leave this place in peace.

With that being said, y'all deserve everything too! Don't hold yourself back, sometimes the ego holds us back, but don't let it take control and keep going! You're the God of your reality. So why not take that chance and stop being lazy? I mean it's the life of your dreams and some of y'all aren't even putting 0.000000001% effort? It's not the physical effort but the mental work, everything is the mental work and you don't even need to lift a finger. I mean it's not that hard focusing on your 4d. I agree for some people that have mental health issues like adhd, aphantasia, anxiety, and all. Even I had them too! I had avpd, anxiety, low self esteem, depression, maladaptive daydreaming, and ptsd, but still I did it while staying with a toxic narcissistic family that cares only about themselves! They who were constantly nagging me every 5 mins, now are quiet and unbothered. Why? Because I changed the version of me who was thinking that they were toxic, and I assumed they were lenient, and now they are. Honey, it's not hard at all. You're making it hard for yourself. So just stop with the bullshit and go live your dream life!

- Olivia 🎀

#law of assumption #neville goddard #reality shifting #loa success #affirmdaily #dream life #manifestations #manifestyourreality #scripting #frequency #live in the end #mental diet #mental health #self concept affirmations #self concept #void success #void state #void

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withonly-sweetheart · 3 months ago

Text

Back to the Sea

The mysterious stranger on the boat happens to be your roommate and you can't help but wonder who he is. Something about him captivates you, but what happens when an artist loses his brush?

a/n: so... this is all @chesue00's fault. dont get me wrong ilysm pookie but i cannot tell you how much this was going through my head the entire day like i wanted to get home so badly and write this i almost told my teach to fuck off... but thank u ur so talented it hurts like that inspired me sm and thats what art should do! ty! <333

tw: angst?? bc its not my fic unless its got angst (hopefully...) uhm mentions of like illnesses and the flu and stuff but idk help

wc: 5.2k - yes im not even kidding i wrote this all tdy and its not even grammar checked will do that later hehehehehe <333

As the sun dips below the horizon, casting a warm golden hue across the vast expanse of the ocean, you sit at the edge of the ship, gaze fixed on the endless waves stretching out before her. The gentle sway of the ship beneath you, the salty sea air mingling with the haunting cries of the seagulls soaring overhead; it all served as a reminder of sorrow and loss that clings to you like a heavy shroud.

You take it between your fingers, as if you can feel the harsh, unforgiving ivory material form under your hand, and wrap it around yourself tighter, cherishing the small bursts of warmth you get from sitting up here.

Each wave that laps against the side of the ship fails to cover the whispers of the crowd steadily disappearing around you, pointing fingers shamelessly, wondering why a girl your age is sitting, all alone, staring wistfully out at the cerulean abyss.

Someone clears their throat behind you. The last thing you want is to be bothered, so you twist over your shoulder to dismiss them, but somewhere up your throat, the words clump together into a soft gasp.

You have seen him around the ship, when you were first boarding, but you didn’t get the best look at him. Now that you do, you know one thing as true as the sky is blue.

He’s breathtaking. His eyes, reflecting the azure of the ocean, flash with lightning quick irritation, as if your presence inconveniences him. The curve of his lips set in a straight line, tightening almost imperceptibly, jaw clenching ever so slightly.

If you weren’t looking so hard, you could’ve missed it all.

But how could you miss anything he does, when each ripple of his feature is like a brushstroke? An artist’s slow, deliberate intentions, painting the man in front of you.

“You are taking up the seat,” he mumbles, so quietly you almost don’t catch it. “Apologies,” you respond, shifting to make room for him. The dip between his eyebrows deepens and you find yourself frowning back. “Is something wrong?”

His gaze clouds, turning a muffled shade of gray. “No.”

You hum in response before turning back to the ocean. The heavy silence writhes between them, its unseen grip tightening with each breath. Your mind churns, sensing dark depths his haunted eyes warn away.

So you stand and stroll away, not sparing a glance at the brooding figure. You don’t wish to descend into his sorrow. You have enough of your own, and the tension crackling between you is nearly tangible.

You know well that behind every handsome man, there is a troubled mind.

And the windows to those thoughts are the eyes.

<><><><>

“If the brothe bee to sweete, put in the more wine, or els a litle vineger.”

You recall this line from a cookbook your mother once owned as you stare down at the barely distinguishable liquid in a bowl in front of you. Chips of wood flake off and dissolve into the mess of what you think are minced vegetables pooling at the bottom. Though the bubbles of oil faintly remind you of home, nothing else is the same.

You can’t remember the last time you had traditional soup, from the homeland, where everyone's the same as you and food is plentiful, rich in the scent of tangy spices and fresh vegetables and ripe fruit, where the forest birds sing sweet melodies in your ear.

But you are no longer there. It will, as all things do, fade with time, resolving as just a landscape drawn in your head, reduced to nothing but scribbles.

With a sigh far too troubled for your age, you gingerly push the bowl away, careful not to slosh any of it over the edge. You know you are being picky; food is food, and starvation will slowly creep up on you when you least expect it.

But it is better to starve than throw yourself from the starboard, letting the choppy waves consume you. Hunger takes time, crescendoing pain and ache until you cannot bear it. Suffering will suffice, at this moment.

And across the dining hall, the small room housing yet a few late night eaters, you spot him saunter in. Long, black trench coat brushing his ankles, a hat you did not see that now casts shadows upon his chiseled face.

His overalls strain with effort and crumple into wrinkles as he sits a few tables away, raising a hand, wordlessly summoning a bowl of soup that carries from tentative hands. He waves the aged woman away, and perhaps he does not catch the longing look in her eyes.

She has not seen a man so divine in years. Her time at sea has clouded her judgment. This is yet another reason why you must traverse the ocean blue, to prevent the jobs piling up at what you thought was your home, near the port, where the docks carry back the ashes of your family.

You used to love the ocean, the beach, the shores. When the sea hurt you, your father would kiss the tears away, murmuring soft assurance in the shell of your small ear. Although she was nearly a decade older, your sister would never decline an offer of yours to hunt for the little creatures that popped up from the swirling sand, watching them disappear underneath your slow hands.

You miss them. Influenza never failed to take, take, take; the greedy fingers latched on to your family before you could arrive home that day to sick corpses so pale you could not recognize them.

The doctor had suggested a traditional burial,but you knew there was one more thing the sea needed. You lit the pyres, watched their souls mingle with the smoke that gasped for the clouds, and waited.

When all that was left of your loved ones was charred, ivory dust that seemed to sparkle back at you, unaware of its fate, you gathered it into a pot that your grandmother gifted you.

The ocean rejected your offering, at first. It veered away, pulling water from the shore lines, but you stood fast. And it came back, gathered what was already gone, and took it away from you.

The sea never fails to remind you of what you’ve lost.

But here, on the ship, a marvel of engineering, keeping you afloat, you are not truly with the sea. You will not make yourself mold to the pitiful, lonely girl everyone expects you to be.

With that resolve, you cradle the soup back to your chest, staring it down with defiant eyes. The ocean will not have another victim, you will make sure of that.

It burns your throat all the way down, saltier than the sea. Bile raises to combat it but you force spoon after spoon into your stomach. All that remains from your battle is the wood, which you tried your best to separate from the soup, but you are sure that you definitely swallowed at least some of it.

As the thinnest definition of dinner warms your insides against the cold that threatens to seep in, your eyes find him across the galley. He sits alone, as always, nursing a tin cup and gazing into its contents as if answers lay within.

You recall your chance encounter in the night, the rare moments of grace amid tumult never far from his eyes. Though he often keeps away from the streams of people, you have the feeling it has less to do with aloofness than wounds not easily unveiled.

As if finally sensing your gaze, his eyes lift and meet yours across the dusty space. There seems to be no cracks in his steely expression, his stormcloud eyes, but there is a flicker of emotion - curiosity, or perhaps kinship's first stirrings.

You offer the barest nod before returning focus to your meager meal. Yet all the while, currents stronger than the sea pull at your thoughts, drawing them ever back towards that quiet figure and mysteries that beg to be revealed. You tilt your head to the side, rubbing fingers down your neck, feeling your pulse race underneath your skin. Massaging the area, you force yourself to relax.

You force yourself to believe that those eyes haven’t jarred your thoughts.

<><><><>

“I must… have the wrong room.” Those same eyes stare back at you, hands trembling slightly around parchment yellowing at the edges, swirling with confusion. “I apologize.”

“It wouldn’t, by chance, be 930, would it?” you ask.

“Er… yes,” he admits with a dip of his head, looking almost embarrassed by the situation. “I suppose I’ll go request another-”

“It’s quite alright,” you race to say before you can stop yourself. “I do not mind.”

A small corner of his mouth lifts, if only for a second, and when his expression goes back to being neutral, you find yourself wanting to coax more emotions from him.

You help him get settled in, telling him he could take the bed on the right. When he’s finished fussing with the sheets, you sit on your respective mattresses, awkwardly staring down at your hands.

"I... thank you," he finally replies, his voice soft. "I did not expect to find understanding here."

“Your name, sir?”

“Leon. Your name, I already know.”

“How fascinating.”

“You are a… popular subject of gossip upon this vessel.”

“Why are you traveling to England?” you ask, finding yourself making small talk to switch the topic. “Are you simply traveling?”

“Yes.”

“Where is your hometown?” His eyes glaze over with the familiar homesickness you can recognize.

"My home lies in a small village far from here," he replies, gazing into memories only he could see. "A quiet place, surrounded by green countryside and simple folks." His eyes find yours with rare openness. "And you? What brings one so young to cross the sea alone?"

“I’m paying my lovely aunt a visit,” you say vaguely, trying to make your voice light. But he must hear the undertones of it, because he cocks his head to the side, arching a golden eyebrow.

“Is that so?” he muses. “I hope you enjoy your trip.”

“I’ve noticed you carry that briefcase around quite a bit,” you say, quickly changing the subject. “Is it dear to you?”

He laughs, a warm, rich tone that sparks something in your heart.

Maybe… just… maybe?

“Not so,” he explains. He leans over to grab the case resting on the nightstand and clicks it open. “This is the reason I am traveling, you see.”

You peer over the top of the rusty case to reveal… pencils?

“You are… an artist?” you ask, slightly confused. You hadn’t taken him for a participant of the fine arts, but at your query, his eyes seem to light with an inspiration not previously there.

“I have lost my flame,” he says slowly, cautiously, as if placing his words carefully. “I thought England would fix… the problem… but perhaps… you could help me?” At your face, he bites his lip. "A smooth sea never makes a skilled sailor, as they say."

“Who has ever said that, and who am I to decline a stranger in need?” You chuckle, and his grin seems to usurp his entire expression.

“You need not do anything,” he rushes to say, hands flurrying to unpack the materials carefully stowed away in the briefcase. The determined, set look on his face is enough to convince you, and even if it hadn’t, realistically, would you be able to say no?

He stills suddenly, observing you, sweeping over you, drinking in everything, as if to absorb your being. When his gaze meets yours, he smiles and it truly reaches his previously emotionless eyes.

“You are… perfect,” he whispers. He holds his pencil up, bottom lip disappearing as he frowns, grumbling in frustration. “But this lighting is… not quite correct.”

Leon eyes the room, then stands suddenly. You watch him, watch him drag a chair from the small writing desk over to the foot of his bed, planting it firmly. He points a finger to the empty space, gesturing for you to sit there.

“What exactly are you planning?” You ask with a smile.

The one he returns matches your curiosity. “We shall see.”

And that is exactly how, a few minutes later, you sit with your legs crossed, hands folded over one another in your lap, with a soft smile decorating your face.

“You must stay still,” he chastises, gazing at you with a languid look in his eyes, voice dreamy, as if he sees something in you that you can’t.

“You have not yet answered my question.” You ignore the red blooming up your neck at his fluttering gaze. He lounges further into the bed, hiding more of himself away, spinning the pencil between his fingers.

He looks almost thoughtful as he scribbles away, muttering to himself, lost in a trance. You lean against the dresser, resting your body weight on it, feeling yourself relax.

His eyes move back to you, and he jolts, like something drastic has changed. His hands fly rapidly across the paper, gaze locked onto you. He smudges something with his finger, erases something here and there, and eventually, he huffs a sigh and leans back, looking somewhat satisfied with the paper.

Intrigued, you stand from your position, stretching your stiff joints. “May I see?”

Leon snorts a laugh. “Of course not.”

“It is my portrait, no?” You grin. “Show me.” Without another word, you lean over the foot of the bed, over the elaborate carvings of wood, and try to sneak a peek at the paper.

He lets out what you can only describe as a boyish squeal, and yanks the pad away from you, clutching it to his chest. “I said no!”

Leon tries his best to play-keep away from your hands, folding the paper carefully in half as he stuffs it into an inner pocket of his shirt. When you try to reach for it, instinctively, he flushes a red hue that matches the crimson of your bedsheets.

“Apologies,” you whisper.

“It’s alright,” he whispers back.

The air has gone back to tense, anguish, as if you are both hurtling towards something you cannot stop, racing towards a finish line in a race you do not wish to compete in. When he climbs into bed, wordlessly, you wonder what you did to deserve this torture, to have a masterpiece sleeping a few feet away.

He purses his lips and blows out the flame in the lantern standing proud on your nightstand, murmuring a quick goodbye.

As your eyes adjust to the absence of light, you watch the blanket blow out around him, creeping over his body, hugging him tightly. His snores come quickly, gentle and quiet, not bothersome.

You sigh and close your eyes, wishing for the relief of sleep to come as fast as his.

<><><><>

Strangely enough, someone rouses you from your sleep, something you didn’t expect. Breakfast calls were a luxury reserved for those with money, but you weren’t going to complain. Missing the first meal of the day had serious consequences in your household.

This isn’t your household, though. These aren’t your rules.

And that definitely isn’t a handkeep’s fingers clutched around your arm.

“Leon?” you murmur, rubbing your eyes, savoring the fuzzy corners before every comes into focus with sudden clarity. He stands beside your bed, gaze darting here and there.

“Oh… you are awake,” he says as he isn’t the reason it is so.

“You woke me,” you state blankly, blinking up at him.

“I suppose… well,” he mutters, then sighs, shaking his head. “Never mind that.”

“How often does this happen?” you ask quietly, sitting up. “Are you plagued by night horrors?”

“I am not a child!” he snaps, then immediately softens, regret pooling in his eyes. “It is just… I thought you had left…”

“Yet I am here, no?” you say, slightly bemused. The tips of Leon’s ears turn a salmon pink as he lets out a shuddering breath, nodding.

“I see that,” he says with a small smile, sitting beside you, leaving enough space to respect your privacy. You return one with just as much carefully measured emotion, not wanting to scare him away, wanting him to open up.

As gray dawn spreads its thin wings slowly over calm waters, he recollects himself. He tells you fragments of his past, picking up pieces of his past until it fits into a puzzle perfectly. An orphan, talent stripped from him by the urge to survive.

You faintly think that he should also be a writer, because the way he tells his story is akin to the way an author paints a scene with just words. You can see his parents in the shadows, echoing in his laugh, in the slant of his nose, the pucker of his chin.

He shrugs, twisting to face you. “I almost died, there, on the streets.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

His eyes meet yours, “So am I.”

Seeing him in such a vulnerable state, you can’t help but feel inclined to share what truly happened to you as well.

“I’m not… just visiting my aunt.”

A ghost of a smile graces his lips. “I was thinking as much. Tell me, what is the true purpose of your visit.”

“My family recently passed from influenza. Only sorrow trails me in the States. Perhaps returning to my hometown will provide… solace?” You offer a dry laugh, but Leon’s expression goes stony as he takes your hands into his.

“I… did not know,” he says, sounding as sincere as you’ve ever heard him. “I made such a joke without understanding the full context… I apologize.”

“It is really nothing,” you rush to assure him, but more so because the crestfallen look on his face is something you do not wish to bring upon. “I forgive you.”

“You are still tired,” he says with another sigh. “I will wake you for breakfast. Sleep.”

He’s right. Too sleepy to protest, you clutch the blankets around you and shut out not only the slowly growing beams of sunlight from the window, but also the relief that emanates from Leon’s very being, flooding over you, bringing you the peace that lets you drift off.

<><><><>

You wake to frigid air seeping through cracks in the ship's walls, clouds hiding the sun’s bright smile. Throwing off your thin blankets, you grasp the warmth, hoping it still lingers. But your hand meets only cold, empty fabric.

Panic rises in my throat as you rush from the sleeping quarters. Out on the icy deck, figures hustle to and fro under a pale, stormy sky. Your eyes scan for one in particular, relief flooding through you as you spot his lean form near the rail, gaze lost to the sea.

"Leon," you call softly so as not to wake the other sleeping passengers. When he turns, worry is etched into his brows. You brush it off with a shaky smile. "I had feared the night's dangers had claimed you at last."

“At last?” His lips turn up in return, reassuring you with his movement. But you can see the shadow neither of you could outrun, not with Death stalking your decks in his grim dance.

Drawing near, you trace his stare to the horizon, limitless and cold. You stand in front of him as he lingers behind, hesitating, arms outstretched.

“I wish to fly, one day,” you say jokingly. “But I suppose for now, swimming will do.”

“I cannot swim,” he admits quietly. “I never will.”

“Of course you can,” you insist. “Anyone can-”

“Not everyone has lost their brother to the sea.”

The answer burns, searing your back in the way he delivers it, venom in his voice. But eventually, he sighs, as if giving in, and you can feel him get closer.

“May I?” You admire that he asks before anything, and when you nod, he wraps his arms around your waist, pushing you gently against the railing that you clutch tightly. He rests his head on your shoulder, craning his neck to stand comfortably.

Then he speaks again. “My deepest apologies. As you can tell… I miss him.”

"Then we'll face such fears together," you say with such finality you believe it yourself. "None are meant to wander depths of sadness all alone. But your brother's memory lives on you - a gift more precious than any sea could claim. I know this. And what are you doing now?”

Slowly, you can feel his lips curl upwards against your neck, sparking at your words, growing into that smile you’ve come to cherish.

“You wish to fly? This is as close as I can get you, beloved.”

With a grin of your own spreading across your face, you outstretch your arms, leaning into the wind, wanting to let it carry you both away. Your fingers trace the sharp line of his jaw, coming to rest on his beating pulse that lives on despite all the world has tried to steal away.

You don’t know what overtakes you, the immense feeling of admiration you feel for him, that might be what spurs you to lean in. And, much to your surprise and pleasure, as soft morning light limns sea and sky in a hopeful blend of blue, your lips meet in a kiss - brief, chaste, yet speaking everything you need to hear.

“At least I’ll have you,” he says, melting back into your embrace, tightening his arms around your hips. “One thing the sea will never take.”

But you should’ve known.

The waters are never done taking.

<><><><>

You do not know when the screams started. All you know is that they came with the rough tides, crashing against the boat, with the crackle of thunder and smoke hissing in the air. Everyone rushes to cram into the sleeping quarters, but living near the port all your life, you know better. You know exactly what is happening.

The boat is sinking.

And strangely enough, your first thought is to find Leon. He had asked you to wait a quiet moment on the deck, and you had both dismissed the rolling clouds, steadily creeping towards you while he disappeared below the deck.

You had been hoping that he would show you his art. Now you hope that you can get him out in time. But before you can scrunch up your dress and scramble into the quarters, someone grabs your arm.

You do not see the face. You know it is not Leon, he is infinitely calmer and more gentle than the rough fingers of whoever your captor is. As you struggle to look up at the face, you are tossed into a boat that hangs on the side of the ship.

“Women and children first!” a gruff voice calls out, presumably the one that just manhandled you. You try to protest, saying you need to go back, but the small boat fills up quicker than you expect, and eventually you are being slowly lowered down onto the choppy waves.

You stand on tiptoe, trying to make out any sign of Leon on the ship, hoping he makes it out okay. The people rowing the boat harshly yank you down before pushing away from the boat. Every stroke they make takes you farther and farther away, until the dense fog shrouds the entire ship from your view.

And the unexpected happens. You hear a loud crack and the boat immediately splinters into two. The women and their children huddle to one side, the bigger side, while you and some other girls stay put, eyes fixed on where you last saw the ship.

With no one to steer, you veer back towards it and it comes into view, only this time, it is on fire. Flames lick the sides, hissing where it meets the salty sea, climbing up the ship. And you see the mess of blond hair that you so desperately recognize.

“Leon!” You shout, screaming for his attention. His eyes snap to your general direction, scanning the area with a wide, panicked expression before landing on you. Almost immediately his face softens before it returns to its stony, default look.

You are confused for a moment before he quickly surveys the area. A raft hangs from the side, unused, calling his name, and you realize with shame that your boat is starting to sink, dipping into the water.

You and the other girls lean to the other side, pleading for help. Summoning all fading strength, you yell his name once more as waves close over your head. Darkness swallows your cries, drowning them in the murky ocean depths, yet in your fleeting consciousness, your trust for him remains like the anchor you wish him to be.

Breathless, gasping, you break the surface amid a sea of shrieks and sinking debris. There through the smoke a ragged shape appears, slicing swift as any bird towards you. Strong hands grasp and haul you aboard the makeshift raft, lying there to cling and spend your remaining prayers in thanks to Leon as he attends each soul amid the roiling deep, ferrying them from the ocean’s inky grasp with steady hands and calmer gaze.

“Are you alright, dear?” he calls to you after the third and final girl is pulled to safety, gasping for breath. “I did not expect this situation whatsoever.”

“Neither did I,” you murmur, spitting the remnants of the salt in your throat back into the sea, like returning a gift. “I suppose we will be alright now.”

Leon’s face crumples. “I’m afraid not.”

You groan. “What is it now? Is it the sharks from the depths? I will fight them with my bare hands, just you watch!”

You watch his expression flash through amusement, then back to pain. “We… I…”

“What troubles you so?”

He gestures a hand to the sea around you, to the drenched figures, far too many for the raft to carry. You realize this with the drop of your heart.

“There are too many of us,” he says apologetically, like he’s only hurting you. “One of us must leave.”

For a second, you consider pushing one of the girls off. Anything to keep him. But you realize that your selfish thoughts should not take control. You grab his hands, clutching them tightly, holding them to your chest.

“Then it shall be me.”

Leon offers a weak smile. “No.”

“No?” you sputter. “What- it was not a question!”

“It will not be the answer either, my love,” he says gently, prying his hands from yours. “I will be the last. Please make sure of that.”

And before you can plead for him to stay, his weight shifts and you can feel the raft rising again. He casts one more, sorrowful look at you before he glides into the water, descending effortlessly. You reach for him, and your fingers brush his knuckles before he disappears forever.

Before he is gone.

Yet another loved one.

Lost to the sea.

<><><><>

You wait for an indeterminate amount of time, waiting for the news to arrive one day at your aunt’s doorstep, that he is still alive, awaiting your arrival in some uncharted region. But no such idea comes. And eventually, the denial washes away and you are left with the loss that nothing can fix.

You rock in the chair of your living room, the smell of your aunt’s soup no longer bringing saliva to your mouth, but tears to your eyes, because now everything reminds you of Leon.

The bell rings outside and you can’t bring yourself to rise and answer the door with puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Your aunt knows this, so without sparing you another look, allowing you your privacy, opens the door just a smidge.

She makes conversation with the person standing outside before turning back to you with a soft smile. She hands you an envelope, and you cannot lie when your heart races up to the sky, finding purchase in the fluffy clouds.

You cannot find the words to thank her, but she knows this as well, and walks away without another word. When she disappears behind the kitchen corner, you rush to open the letter.

The first words send your heart plummeting back to where it was, perhaps even crashing through the layer of obsidian and burrowing itself in a place where it will never return. But upon scanning the rest of the thoughtful, heartfelt message, there is a tug that forces you to check the rest of the envelope.

And when you unfurl a piece of paper, long since forgotten in your brain, you muffle a cry with the back of your hand, the parchment trembling in your five, shaky fingers.

It is the portrait Leon drew of you. It made its way back to you.

You know, after seeing this, there is one thing you must do. You lie the paper down on the round table beside you, careful to preserve it.

You wash up, put on a dress your aunt lent to you, a blue, rippling thing that seems to reflect the ocean waves back at you. You tie your hair up, wanting to look somewhat presentable.

And you call out a goodbye to your aunt, who’s smile you can hear in her voice, evident as she waves from the kitchen, ecstatic to see you out and about. But there is only one place you must go. One thing you must do to find the closure you are aching for.

Back to where it all started.

<><><><>

Tears that are the crystals of salt found in the ocean's depths stream down your face, as unnatural as the mixture of saltwater and freshwater, where one stops, another begins.

In the ocean, you slip from your skin, thoughts descending down a mad spiral, the spirits watching as you mingle with the essence of saltwater stinging your sunburned skin. The night air does little to nothing to cool your thoughts.

Is he there? In the droplets that cradle the back of your hands, trickling from the pool cupped in your palms. You can see him standing, just a few feet away, knee deep in the water, as constant as the waves and as calm as the tides.

Leon’s hair waves in the moonlight, a silent greeting to you, cerulean bathing his face in a ghastly blue, making him seem more and more like the ghost he is.

You raise a hand, out of instinct, choking back a sob.

A smile curves those salty, timeless lips.

“You left me too,” you whisper through tears, crystals disappearing under the crescents of water brushing against your shorts. “Why can life not just be… easy? Simple?”

Leon chuckles, face softening in sympathy. “Did you forget what I told you already?”

You lift your head, rubbing granules of sand against your nose to muffle your sniffling. “What?” His grin is somehow both brighter than the moon and darker than the water you can’t see through.

“A smooth sea never makes a skilled sailor.”

#leon kennedy #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy re2 #re2 leon fanfic #leon kennedy fic #leon scott kennedy

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starillusion13 · 7 months ago

Text

TRUST ME NOT

Pairing: Bf!(boss unit except one) x f!reader

W.C: 9.1k

Genre: Fluff, Mafia, Angst

Warnings: keeping secrets, innocent reader(?), mafia deals, murder, blast, tracking device, spying on someone, anonymous mail, tying up with rope in basement, unconcious, feeling sorry, sad, regrets, forgiveness, lots of kissing, anniversary surprises lol, getting shot, mention of blood(not detail) idk what to add anymore

1 month late birthday gift to @mymoodwriting sorry🥀

Network: @kvanity-main

🎀 Your anniversary was supposed to be held in a month.

The excitement was brightly visible on your face and you had a lot of arrangements to make. Going out to different stores and contacting some very important people who all are of potential help in some urgent scenarios. It's been five years since you were in a relationship with the mafia gang, NCT. Yeah, some people won't believe you if you say that you are the secret girlfriend, because your appearance and attitude is far from the ruthless behavior of the bosses--- your boyfriends.

The first one to notice that you were busy was Jungwoo, as he is the one who doesn't go out of the house often. His hacking job lets you both to spend more time with each other and well, this makes him throw cocky looks to others. You have told him repeatedly not to tease others because of that, but who is he to listen to?

You have almost planned everything for the upcoming day, obviously keeping it a secret from them. And this made Jungwoo suspicious of you. Earlier he was ignoring your weird attitudes and your now and then excuses to go out but one day when you were out for a long time, he followed your location. Well, he tried to but he couldn't track it.

How the hell is that even possible?

Now, he can't obviously charge you for messing up with the tracking device as you aren't aware of any of these. So, he decided to talk this out with his gang members.

"Are you sure of the suspicion?" Taeyong asked with a dark look. He was already tired with the day and now one of his members is sitting in front of him with a doubt. He glanced at the rest of the members across the room but they all were pretty much similar attentive to the hacker like him. He sighed and urged him to speak more.

The hacker nodded and proceeded, "she is acting differently and when I asked her last week. She was in a hurry to reply as if she would spill secrets if she spoke more than necessary."

"Maybe she is tired. You know her café has a lot of work." Mark stated and Jaehyun nodded his head in agreement. They know very well how dedicated you are to your work and something that might be keeping you busy these days.

Jungwoo shook his head, "No. The surprising fact is that she is barely available at the cafe."

"Then where is she going every morning?" Winwin asked and glanced at him from the corner of the room. And this caught everyone's attention.

Jaehyun remembered his interaction with you from two days back over the call.

"When I asked to pick her up from the cafe, she denied and told me about having extra hours but ended up coming home by riding someone else's car. As far as I know no one from her cafe owns that car." he stated and looked around.

"What? And you are telling me now?" Taeyong banged the table with his fist making the ones sitting near to him to flinch. Doyoung licked his lower lips and ran his fingers through the hairs. He was still putting in the pieces together and hoping that whatever they were thinking should not be the actual case.

Are you hiding something from them?

Or are you planning for something to destroy them?

Mark put his phone beside him on the sofa, "Dude, don't think like that. We must be wrong somewhere. Don't doubt her for anything."

"You are not suspecting her for anything right?" Winwin looked at his leader expectantly who in return just poked his cheek with the tongue and turned towards Doyoung.

"Tell everyone to keep a closer look on her." he said and looked at everyone, "all of you will see what's the matter with her. If she is not going to the cafe and not talking with us that much. Then we should find out what's the matter that she is suddenly acting so differently."

"But-"

"Mark, don't argue with me now."

No one spoke anything after that. Four of them left the room, leaving the leader with Doyoung. The latter's eyes followed how frustratingly the leader was brushing his hairs back and sighing.

"I know, you are not doubting her like the way you are showing your anger."

The leader rested his elbows on the table and held his head with his palms, "I don't want to blame her for anything. I trust her so much but I want to know what's up with her. I love her so much, Doyoung."

Doyoung walked towards him and patted his back comfortingly, "we all love her, Taeyong. If she ever betrays us then nothing can hurt us more than that."

"I don't want to hurt her. She is precious to me. I want all these to be just a misunderstanding."

"She is not betraying us. We will just find out what's the matter with her and then everything will be fine."

The latter just nodded and tears fell from his eyes similarly like the one standing.

"Where are you going?" Jungwoo asked as he saw you hurrying towards the door. You were smiling all the way down the stairs while looking at the phone. His eyes were staring at you with curiosity and adoration. When he repeated the question again, you glanced at him away from your phone and raised your brows.

"Uh..I..somewhere...do you need something?"

"No. But where? Do you want me to go with you?"

"No!".

He was taken aback by your sudden scream, "what? Why are you shouting?"

You awkwardly laughed and brushed your hairs, "I'll be off to the place and will return quickly. Don't worry."

As soon as you took a turn, someone grabbed your forearm and made you turn around. The turn was so sudden that you almost lost your balance on your heels, "What the hell! Jaehyun?"

"It's late afternoon. I don't think you are going to the cafe right now. Your workers told me that you will be there in the evening. So where to now?" His tone was low and demanding.

His grip was firm and you glanced at the hold then at his face. He had just showered after returning home. The others were not there yet and these two were only at the house so you decided to leave without them noticing you but it's not the case now.

"Hey, I'm just going to meet someone." you smiled at the end of the sentence.

"Who? Let me take you there."

You held his wrist to take off his hand from yours, "No, it's okay. I can go there alone. He will be just a few blocks away and......and then everything is fine."

"he? Y/n, who is this person? Do I know him? Have any of us seen him before?"

"Oh my jealous baby, Jae. Come on, don't think like I am a child. And you don't have to know everyone."

He stepped closer to you, tugging your hairs behind your ears before holding your hands and smiling down at you with a soft look, "I just care for you too much, Y/n. I don't want anyone to hurt you. Please be safe out there as you know your life is always at risk because of us...and dont hide anything from us."

You couldn't hear the last words but you smiled at him, "I will be safe. I promise."

He leaned forward to peck your lips and then planted a soft kiss on your temple. Jungwoo came up behind you and hugged you, nuzzling his nose in your neck inhaling the recently applied perfume, you smiled at the tingling sensation. He whispered, "if you can't keep yourself safe. Then I will kill everyone who will hurt you."

You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your lips, planting a kiss, "I know. I am always safe with you all."

You were safe. Your preparations and secrets, everything was safe. Only two weeks left and you couldn't contain your excitement. Skipping steps towards the flower shop, you were greeted by the familiar man holding a rose in his hold and smiling endearingly at you. Your smile widened brightly and a soft laugh escaped your throat when he kneeled down in front of you, "A rose for my queen." He extended his hand towards you and you took the flower from his hand.

"Oh please shut up, Wooyoung."

He again stood in front of you and smoothed his blazer and pants. The look was stating that he was on his way for the meeting but still his playful nature and his childish laugh was not setting right with his appearance.

"Why? I can call you anything."

"Just wait until I tell this to my boyfriend." you chuckled while looking around the flower shop, "Where is the owner?"

You never used your boyfriend's name in front of anyone, always referring to some silly names or simply 'my boyfriend'. No one has ever seen your so-called boyfriend but they know you always have the adoration while speaking of him—- of them.

"I don't know about him. Hey! Why are you asking for the owner when I'm here?" He whined and you shook your head in disbelief with the attitude.

"How old are you? And I need him to choose some exact flowers for the decoration and a perfect perfume to give my boyfriend." you smiled at the thought of surprising them with everything. He nodded with a pout and stood by your side while you were staring at some beautiful bouquets, "Is your boyfriend nice? You can tell me if you have any problems. You have said he lives outside this country but if he turns out as a cheater. I will show him hell."

"Of course, Wooyuong. There's nothing to worry about. I am fine and he is a very nice man. Maybe someday you can meet him and also, I'm doing all these preparations for our anniversary."

The owner just entered the door and greeted you both when the other one smiled at you before exiting the door.

One week left for your anniversary.

"So, I was right. She is going to this shop almost every day and according to Winwin, our enemy's last location was this shop."

They couldn't believe the pictures and the tracking location of the devices that were showing on the very big screen displayed in front of them. The undercover spy has clicked the pictures of you meeting with a young man well dressed up in a suit and you were hugging him with a smile, also in another picture, you were receiving flowers. The different gestures between you both were assuming that there was a deeper bonding than they can think of. Everything was pretty much fine until the call list and tracking device of yours and their enemy matches exactly.

"Jungwoo, have you gone to this shop before?" Taeyong asked when he placed himself on the sofa.

The hacker shook his head, "no, I never bought anything from there. I thought she knew the owner of the shop, that's why she is going there but it turned out she is meeting the owner of the device who is apparently our enemy. We need to find who is the owner. Winwin even followed her one day and guess what? They were planning for a big event and also went on a date."

"A date?" Mark had a confused look on his face.

Jungwoo nodded and Jaehyun continued, "yeah, she is meeting these certain people every often and that's why you can't find her in the cafe. And this one person is very common."

"That's Wooyoung, a member of the gang, Ateez. the shop owner is his best friend, just for cover." Winwin started from beside Doyoung who quickly turned towards him in surprise.

Taeyong scoffed in irritation, "So that's him? He blew our basement? I was so sure that somebody leaked our plan when we were having the mission in a different state and look, he took that advantage to attack on our base."

"And you think?" Doyoung raised a brow.

"She...she told him?" Taeyong didn't even want to say it but still he did. He blamed you. He doubted you. There was no other option left other than suspecting you with their recent events going on around them. He curled his fingers into a fist, suppressing the anger and hurt.

Mark leaned back into his chair, "we must be wrong somewhere. Or things have not been placed in the correct way."

"No. When I told Jungwoo for the first time, neither me nor him believed this but after one week of research. We are sure that she is involved with this." Winwin himself didn't want to believe what he was voicing out.

His own voice was betraying him. Was your love for them just a facade to destroy them in the end? Were you playing with their feelings? What? NO! This can't be, you are not like that. He couldn't convince anyone, maybe he was not even trying to convince anyone. No one was ready to believe that you were planning something worse behind their back, just to destroy them to get in with a man. The man who is apparently their enemy's gang member.

Mark stood up. A sad look visible on his face, fighting back the urge to cry in front of them. He couldn't hear more about suspecting you. Even if you are wrong, he still wants to see you and love you. His gaze shifted from the leader towards the large wide window, the setting of the sun was visible, "our anniversary is in almost 10 days. I hope we won't be doing something to ruin the day."

The words hit them altogether. Anniversary...they have bought a lot of gifts for you and they have arranged a trip for all of you to spend time together.

He turned around and Taeyong closed his eyes, heaving a sigh. Everyone was in disbelief and fighting whether they should blame you or...or what? There's nothing to think about anymore.

"Hey! you all here?" your cheerful voice broke the silence. The atmosphere was already tense inside the house but your presence was making it worse. To your oblivion, they shared glances between them when Jaehyun noticed some things in your hold. His jaw clenched at the sight and he stepped towards you.

"Who gave you this?"

You furrowed your brows before looking down and then a smile cracked on your face. Everyone noticed the shift in expression when you held the flowers tightly, "Um...someone. A friend?"

"Friend." he scoffed and glared at you. His expression surprised you and then when you looked around the room, you noticed others were looking at you with no emotions visible. It felt so distant as if you were missing something. But what's even the matter? Mark was standing on the first step of the stairs, when you caught his eyes, there was a hurt look— the look of betrayal.

"Mark-" the young boy didn't wait to hear you when he abruptly turned around and ascended the stairs, without even looking back at you. What happened?

"Where were you?" Doyoung asked with folded hands above his chest, supporting himself against the table. His dark and sharp eyes staring at you, waiting for a quick reply.

"I...I went to the cafe."

"You were not there. Don't lie. Just tell me exactly, where were you?"

Taeyong darkly chuckled, "of course to meet her friend. Right? So, had fun on the date?"

"Date?"

Jaehyun turned to him, "don't pretend that you don't know. You went on a date with your little friend, right?"

You shook your head when Jungwoo pointed at your large plastic bag, "what's all these?"

You tried to hide it behind your back only to get yanked away, "why are you hiding it?" He glared at your action.

"What's wrong with you all?"

"What's wrong with you? Are you planning something behind our back?" His words hurt you. No, it shocked you. Are they doubting you for something?

The phone in your pocket started ringing and when Jaehyun didn't loosen his grip on you, you snatched your arm away and glared at him. Fishing out the phone, you held it to your ear and greeted the person. Before walking towards your room, you snatched away the plastic bag from him and no one protested but watched you going away.

No one moved from their places but only Winwin followed you behind.

Three days have already passed since that day.

You didn't talk with anyone normally. Everytime, they would be looking at you accusingly or asking you some weird questions about why you were hiding things from them.

but , there was nothing to hide in the first place---- except for the celebration.

Only one week left and when you just wanted to go out finally to arrange the last things of the preparation. Doyoung blocked your way.

"You are not going anywhere."

"Huh?"

Jaehyun came up behind you and harshly pulled you to a particular direction, "your game is over, y/n. Just give up now. You can't hide anything from us now."

The other one walked just closely behind you, gun in his hand. "I can't believe you that after the things we did, only for you to betray us."

"Please Jaehyun...Trust me. you must be wrong somewhere. I am not hiding anything. I promise." Your voice was broken yet he was not glancing at you but dragging you towards the stairs. The grip on your wrist tightened when you tried to pull your hand away. The wrist was burning from his harsh grip.

There were two uncoordinated footsteps from behind you both and when the youngest of them spoke up, you glanced at them. Mark was trying to stop the leader from stepping forward but the latter was just fuming and when he caught your glistening eyes, he sent a glare at you.

"please..." you whimpered when he took the turn and stopped at the first step of the stairs. He inhaled sharply and glared at you before glancing at the leader.

"take her downstairs." He simply ordered and the latter nodded.

Mark held Jaehyun's other hand, "No. Don't. Please, we should listen to her. We must be wrong somewhere. Please don't take her there."

But he dragged you down, stumbling over a few places but he didn't care. No one cared at the moment. As if your voice was not even audible to their ears.

You have never been to this place before and the dark, dimly lit room with a damp smell was making churn in your stomach. The others were already present inside the room and their focus was on you— the helpless figure. He harshly pulled you towards the chair behind the interrogating desk and made you sit on it. Your head turned towards each one of them, no one was having any sympathy for you. Maybe they had but trying not to show it.

"Why are you doing this? Please get me out of here." tears were flowing down your cheek. Before you could wipe off your tears, Jungwoo gripped your wrist and tied them to the armrest. Winwin took away the phone from you and placed it on the table. Taeyong placed himself on the chair across from you and stared at your tied up form. Doyoung stood beside him, palm resting on the head of the leather chair.

"So, from where should we begin?"

You remained quiet. Not because you didn't want to talk but because you didn't know what to say. Mind still processing the situation and why they all were keeping you tied up like a criminal. Do they not trust you?

You stared at him with silent tears falling from your eyes. Jaehyun and Jungwoo stood beside you on both sides, neither of them speaking anything and not even looking at you. Only glancing now and then.

"How do you know Wooyoung?" the leader asked the first question and leaned forward on the table.

"Wooyoung?"

Doyoung tilted his head to the side, "yes. Even that day he gave you those flowers. Having good times with the enemy. Right, y/n?"

"Enemy? He is my old friend from university."

The leader was not buying your words, "our enemy is your friend now. Since when are you against us?"

"What are you saying, Taeyong? I would never. I..." you were almost spilling the secrets but held back the words that were about to come out from your lips, "we just recently reunited at the flower shop. He was just...helping me out with something."

"Helping you out to chalk out a plan to kill us?" Winwin offered you an option for your choice of words. You shook your head at him and returned to face the leader. He didn't have any emotions for you. No more those endearing smiles and caring eyes looking at you but a strong and accusing eyes blaming you for everything.

"No, it's not like that."

"There's no point in you lying on our face. You can't fight back, y/n. There's six of us and only, you alone."

You parted your lips and tried to shift forward when Jungwoo held you back. You raised your head to look at him but he just avoided your eyes. Does he hate me so much? "You all should understand this. I am alone, I can't do anything to harm you all and... I can never think of hurting any of you."

"Don't pretend to be the innocent one like always." Jaehyun spat at you. "It was all a facade to make us trust you. To make us weak for you so that you can easily break into our life and destroy us from the core."

"Jaehyun..." you whispered his name but a long silence followed your longing gaze on him. How could he blame you like this? They never used such a tone with you.

"He is correct. It was only you who knew about our absence for a whole week from the city and during that exact time, Ateez attacked our warehouse. Isn't this a coordinated plan?" Taeyong was irritated with each word coming out of his mouth.

"And you think I told him?"

Winwin caught your attention, "of course. The enemy whom we were tracking has his every location around you. His every location was colliding with yours. The flower shop belongs to them and it's just undercover to hide their spies in that busy street. Your activity was very frequent during the time of the blast."

"It must be a coincidence...I am not aware of all these." you plead to them for mercy but none of them were convinced. It all seemed as an act to break away from them and to run to their enemy for help.

"We thought that too but you have a deep connection with him. Even keeping your meet-ups a secret from us. Don't think of us like fools."

"Mark, you are a fool. All of you are foolish to think of me going against you. He is just my friend and we were just hanging out after some arrangements and if I knew he was the menber of a gang, I would never have spoken to him. But...but he won't hurt me or any of you. He doesn't even know you all are my boyfriends."

"Because for your benefit. So that you can go on dates with him." Jaehyun scoffed at the end of the sentence.

Taeyong slammed his hand to gain your attention back on him. His eyes were raging and he was fuming with anger. You flinched at the sound and scaredly turned towards him when he spoke up, "Now tell me, what do you want from us?"

You shook your head and bit your lips to prevent yourself breaking down more.

"I said speak up, y/n!"

Your broken voice and hiccups echoed the room, "I...I want n-nothing. I just want......your love."

"Shut up!"

"Jaehyun, keep quiet." Doyoung shushed the tall man beside you but you were already hurt too much. You were exhausted after crying so much, the unfamiliar and confined environment was suffocating you. You just wanted to get out of the place and run away, far away and hide from them. You were scared to say anything anymore or they could have done something more.

"You are going to stay here unless you are willing to tell the truth." Taeyong said and stood up to turn towards the door.

You shook your head frantically to not to leave you there. But no one minded your scared form. You were nothing more than a liar to them.

"Please listen to me..."

Jaehyun grabbed your cheeks, his fingers digging into your flesh, "you are only going to speak the truth or else shut your mouth." he harshly jerked your head to the side.

One by one everyone left the room except the one who was almost standing silently since he came here. He stayed back inside the room. When you noticed his gaze on you, there was a hurt look like that day.

"Why did you do this?"

"I did nothing."

He looked up at the ceiling and then at you, "then please confess the truth. I can't see you like this."

"I'm telling you the truth, Mark. he is just my friend. I didn't help him with anything."

Doyoung came back to the room to find the younger one standing at the door. He informed the younger one to stay with you, not to leave you alone down in the basement. He nodded his head in acceptance. You don’t know if It was because they told him to stay behind out of love or they think you could try to run away from them.

Mark actually wanted to stay with you though. He just can't leave you alone.

Doyoung stepped inside the room to take the phone from the table. When he came in sight of your vision, you looked away to avoid him. He waited for a moment but left the room eventually when you didn't look at him.

"Mark, don't get swayed by her?"

They had some whispering conversation outside the door and you zoned out to think about the day, how you were so excited to finally wrap the different gifts for them and then prepare the last arrangement because this last week was supposed to be spending time with them together. But everything went down the hill.

When Mark returned inside the room, he saw you sleeping on the chair uncomfortably. He stepped forward and tugged your hairs behind the ears to have a clear look of your face. You looked so peaceful but your face was stained with sweat and tears. He caressed your soft skin and tears fell from his eyes, he was sorry to you. He untied your wrists and pulled you on his lap on the floor. Resting your head against his chest, his fingers stroked you and he lulled you to sleep.

"I'm sorry, y/n."

The next two days were just you refusing all the foods they offered and you were getting weak. Even if they didn't hurt you physically, but their words, their hatred looks and their harsh and hurtful touches with their accusing tone was enough to break your every inch.

Doyoung didn't let you stay in the basement but kept you locked in his room. He promised his leader that he won't let you escape the house.

Just before the two days of your anniversary, they got an email from someone. It was labeled with a secret code so when they clicked on it, they found out that it was from someone unknown. They have sent some confidential documents. Jungwoo didn't waste any time before clicking open it only to get a shock. Everyone scooted closer to him.

'How is Y/n? Suspecting her now? Oh, poor girl. Don't worry. I will kill her soon anyways. '

There were all the details under the small links. Whatever they saw was right but the actual explanation to their assumption was what you were saying, not how they interpreted earlier. Wooyoung was just your friend, nothing more and he didn't have any intention to harm you or others. Ateez didn't even attack their base.

Then who is this person?

Is he alive?

Jaehyun threw the glass away in frustration.

"Where is this shit? I will kill him."

Winwin quickly followed some images, "the dreamies are trying to track the id. Hyuck is currently scanning the codes. but... I don't know why this person wants to kill her."

"I'm not leaving her alone for any more second."

Doyoung jogged towards the room only to find you sleeping beside the window stool. Taeyong followed him closely behind and he noticed the dried tears on your face and the other one was quick to pick you up in his arms, "y/n, look at me. You don't have to be here anymore. I'm taking you out of this place. I'm so sorry."

Your breathing was so faint and it scared him.

He peppered your face with kisses, you were so weak and exhausted. There was no reply from you and he shook your body again.

"She must be unconscious. Let's clean her up and let her rest for a while. When she wakes up, I will feed her." Taeyong offered him.

They both nodded and exited the room. Promising to themselves that they won't ever let you be in this sort of situation again.

When they appeared in front of the others, they saw your unconscious body in his hold. Their hearts clenched at the sight, the pain striking through their body.

How could they just blame you and act deaf ears to your pleadings?

"I'm coming with you." Mark approached him and took you in his arms before going towards his room with Doyoung trailing behind him.

Taeyong ordered Jungwoo and Winwin to contact Dreamies for further discussions about the situation and let others disperse to their respective activities.

No one was willing to leave your side but they had no option other than waiting for you to get consciousness. But Jaehyun quietly walked towards your room to take a glimpse of you.

He was hesitating to enter the room but eventually stepped inside and found them inside the bathroom. They were carefully looking after you.

"Is she okay?"

His sudden voice made the two males turn their head towards him, "of course she is. We are here to keep her safe."

After a while, you were dressed in a pair of comfortable top and loose pants. Mark carefully tugged you in the bed before sitting beside your sleeping figure and caressing the hairs, Doyoung sat near your legs and Jaehyun kept his distance from the bed.

"Let her rest for a while. Taeyong will bring her the food."

They all left the room but Jaehyun went near to you and caressed your head, kissing your temple he whispered, “I’m so sorry, love.”

After a while when you woke up, only to find Taeyong sitting by your side with medicines and food placed on the table that he pulled beside the bed. Your head was spinning a bit but still he helped you sit up and placed the pillow behind you to make you comfortable. Before you could say anything, he caressed your head and smiled at you, following a kiss to the side of your head.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was so wrong about you."

You remained quiet and just observed how he lifted the bowl from the table and stirred the soup, tasting a spoonful and turning towards you with a spoon.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"y-you are not mad at me anymore? Please trust me-"

He put the spoon back into the bowl and placed a finger on your lips, "I trust you. Y/n, I love you. I'm regretting treating you like that. It hurts you a lot to see us blaming you for something you didn't do. But I promise you, you will never have to be like this again. I will make this up to you."

"Really? And others...Are they?"

"they are equally sorry, y/n. we just couldn't help but think all that......why were you at the shop though?" he quickly asked you the thing that was still bugging his mind.

"Um...you will know soon. It's a secret." You expectantly stared at him to see his reaction but he just smiled when he brought the spoon to your lips. You quickly parted open your lips to taste the spoon and hummed in the wonderful warm taste. It melted on your tongue like you were melting under his touch.

"I won't ever hurt you."

"I know, Taeyong. You have so much responsibility but I think I made you scared going out here and there. But trust me it's a good secret, nothing to worry about."

"Can't you tell me now?" he pouted and blinked at you.

"No. Then what's the point of the secret?"

"Is this about-"

Someone entered the room and he was quick to sit on your other side and hugged you from the side.

"I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me. I don't want you to stay away from me." he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers entangled with his hairs when he leaned to your body more. Taeyong was still making sure to finish the soup and shook his head at the boy clinging onto you.

"Hey, Mark. It's okay. I was just shocked with you all behaving like that." You said slowly and he nodded, muttering a flow of apologies. The leader wiped your mouth when you finished the food and handed you the medicine to take but when you refused it. Both of them tickled you and joked around and ended up with Mark holding you down on the bed and the oldest one putting inside the medicine and handing you the glass.

Three of you spent some time together before Taeyong left when he caught a call from Jungwoo and he hugged you before pressing a long and soft kiss on your temple then hurrying to take the call. Where you and Mark ended up cuddling together.

"That night..." he was spooning you while your back was pressed against his chest and his one leg was flung upon yours. His fingers were playing with yours when you both were watching the screen displaying a movie.

You hummed in response, "you made me sleep on your lap. I woke up from a nightmare but I felt so secure with you. Thank you."

"I love you. I love you so much baby."

"I love you more, mark." You turned around and cupped his face. Your eyes searched for a particular emotion before pressing your lips to his. He was surprised by your move but when you tried to pull away your face, he held the back of your neck and pulled you closer, making the kiss rough and passionate. Both fighting for dominance but still enjoying the power of each other. You smiled and squirmed when he slid his hand under your tee. His kisses traveled down to your jaw and sloppily kissed your cheek. Admiringly, watching each other, he dipped his head down and bit the soft flesh of your neck, he groaned when you moaned his name. When he hooked a finger with the band of your shorts, you held his wrist.

He quickly stopped his actions and looked at you, cupping your cheeks and shock visible on his face. You chuckled at his reaction and he worriedly asked you, "Is there something wrong?"

It's not like you haven't done this before with him but there was something for which you wanted to wait.

"Can you wait for one more day?"

"Before our anniversary?"

You nodded and he smiled before pecking your lips.

"Of course, I can."

The day before the celebration. You asked them if you could go out. They felt as if they did something wrong that you were taking permission like a child. You bit your lips and stared at them when they were all similarly staring back at you.

Taeyong broke the awkward moment, "I think someone should speak."

"You did just now."

He glared at Jaehyun, who looked away holding back his laugh. The others snickered and you laughed loudly. All of their attention turned back at your standing figure in an elegant knee length dress.

"You all can go with me."

"We?" Winwin asked you and you quickly nodded.

"So?"

They all looked at each other before agreeing and stood up. The one that was hesitant to come near you was Jaehyun. When they all walked towards the door, conversing and joking among them, he remained at the same place. He felt someone entangled a hand with his and when he looked down at his side, you were smiling brightly at him.

"Let's go, my prince."

"Y/n...you.."

You pulled him towards the door. But he was staring at you like a lost man, who knew nothing other than the directions you would give him. He smiled when he noticed the dress you were wearing was the one he gave you on your birthday last time.

"I'm trying to forget about that day so please don't remind me."

He stopped in his track and you turned towards him, "what happe-"

He pressed his lips to yours. He was laughing between the kisses when you were trying to say something. He pulled apart and you glared at him before looking at your appearance on the phone screen.

"you ruined my lipstick."

"I would have ruined you but it's okay coz it's just the lipstick for now."

"Jae..." you groaned but he grabbed your chin softly and other hand quickly went up , a finger wiping away the smudged out portion and then patted your cheek with the clean fingers.

"you look beautiful like always."

Doyoung came back and pulled you both towards the car.

The car ride was fun. Except for Jungwoo clinging onto your side ans asking you the same question repeatedly, "why can't we know the secret now? Please, y/n."

"I am surprised all of you are in a gang."

Taeyong chuckled, "don't add him. He doesn't do anything other than hacking and intruding other's business from his private place."

He scoffed in reply, "at least I keep company with our girl. Right?"

You nodded. It's not like they were not serious with their job. When the work mode is on, you wouldn't even match the people who are the same with the ones you are currently laughing with. Even you get scared. Okay, last time you really got.

Arriving at the mall, you quickly got out of the car to make a quick call with your friend. You told her to receive the perfumes and flowers from the shop tomorrow morning and keep them in the café. You wanted to celebrate your anniversary at the café and your friend was helping you to get all the orders ready for tomorrow so that today, you can spend your day with the boys.

You bought a lot of things, some necessary and some unnecessary. Jungwoo was with you and others went off to other places.

"you are buying us gifts but not letting us buy for you."

"tomorrow."

"Why? I can buy it today. Wait, I can buy for you everyday."

"Don't show off." You turned around to look at the dress when he picked one from the other row and handed it to you, "wear this tomorrow. This is so perfect."

"are you serious? Do you know my size?"

He smirked and bent to whisper in your ears, "I know every inch and curves how they would fit them and how it would be easy to rip off."

Your eyes went round and you hit his arm when he burst out laughing, "Jungwoo!"

You snatched the dress and walked towards the trial room and when you put on the dress, it seemed like it was the one for you. As if They will marry you tomorrow. Marriage...

Jungwoo knocked at the door and when you opened it, he pushed you inside and locked the door behind.

"what happened?"

"I don't want others to get to see you before me." his gaze moved and his breath hitched. You were looking more beautiful than he projected an imagery picture of you in the dress in his mind.

He pecked your lips and then your temple, "you look like mine. I love you, y/n."

"Always yours. I love you so much Jungwoo."

Done with the things you wanted to buy. Jungwoo went to where Jaehyun was and you were alone walking through the newborn section and smiling. You picked up a pink baby wrap towel and someone back hugged you.

"why are you buying this?" his deep voice sent a shiver down your body.

"I am not buying...just watching... they are so cute. Look at this, Taeyong."

He pressed a kiss on your cheek, "We can someday when we will have a baby."

You turned around when his arms dropped down, "it will be soon."

He smirked to see the excitement on your face, he tugged your hairs before raising a brow, "so am I getting the hint to spend some time with me and then we can expand our family. You and I and our daughter."

"you want a girl?"

"I'm fine with both but to have a girl. I love the idea of mini you running around the house and us all chasing her around."

You hugged him tightly, "I love you, Taeyong."

"I love you too, my princess."

"Wait for tomorrow, please."

"Of course."

You all went home after almost buying the whole mall and Jaehyun was casually showing off and showing smirks that he brought the costliest items. Oh boy! How wrong he is. He should just see the expenses of Taeyong. Winwin whispered to you that he would be sleeping with you because both of you haven't spent a night together. You agreed quickly.

After the dinner when you were going towards the room, Winwin asked you to go with him to the garden and of course, you would.

"So why are we here?" you were staring up at the sky while sitting on the outdoor swing with him by your side.

"I'm sorry." He muttered quietly.

"I know."

He turned towards you and shook his head, "don't forgive us so easily, y/n. we don't deserve it."

"Then don't say sorry. Stop reminding me about that. Think about tomorrow and let us enjoy the night."

He caressed your head, " you are the sweetest one. The innocent one in our life and I don't want to hurt you but still I did."

"And I forgive you."

He sadly chuckled and pulled you closer, "Can you tell me the secret for tomorrow?"

You stared at him and waited if he wanted to say something but when he didn't, you kissed his cheek and smiled, "No. You have to wait."

"Are you planning a surprise? For us?"

"Maybe...or something more than you can expect."

He furrowed his brows when you caressed his cheek softly, "see...you are the innocent one now."

"really?" he grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a hungry and deep kiss. You were laughing and clutching his shirt. His other hand was caressing your back and hands, melting you under his control. He pulled apart and started panting for air.

"And now?"

"still the innocent." As the words left your mouth, he swept you in his arms and turned round and round. Both of your laughs echoed in the garden.

"I love you...I love you...I love you, My innocent girl."

"I love you too, my innocent boy."

Your teasing made him tickle you in his hold and you laughed out more.

Taeyong was watching you from his balcony with the wine in his hand. He was smiling ear to ear seeing you so happy.

He would keep you safe till the end.

Finally THE DAY.

Winwin woke you up, calling out your name lightly and keeping you close to him. He peppered your face with kisses and you were giggling all the way when he scooped you in his arms and took you to the bathroom to get ready. You looked at the mirror and felt so happy, quickly did your morning routine before running down the stairs to greet your boys. But you could only find Doyoung at the table preparing the plates and decorating it with the final touch.

The house looked amazing.

"Don't tell me you all did this within a night."

"Then What do you think? You were blind to not notice it till yesterday?"

You reached near the table and when you went to pick up a pancake, he swatted your hand away and you whined.

"Let others come. No eating before greeting."

"No greetings to you."

You turned around and folded your hands above your chest, he chuckled and with slow steps went behind you and snaked his arms around, resting his head on your shoulder.

"Happy Anniversary, My love." He kissed your shoulder, the deep round neckline of the dress gave him access to your soft flesh. Your hairs were tied up and he kissed the crook of your neck and his teeth grazing the skin and licking the jaw, "I love you, y/n."

"Doyoung, I love you. Happy Anniversary."

He turned you around to kiss you. His kisses are always soft and takes his whole time to devour the moment. Just like now, he didn't care what others will see but he just wanted to show you his love for you.

You were smiling all the while but the sweet moment got interrupted by the one who could enter the place without any sound but to disturb you both, he purposely made sounds.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"Yes. My love life." Doyoung spat at him and groaned but didn't let you go when the other one laughed and came near you.

You pulled apart from the kiss and looked at Taeyong. The other one was back hugging you and nuzzling his nose into your neck.

Taeyong cupped your cheek, "happy anniversary, princess."

"Happy anniversary girl's dad."

"Huh?"

"Nothing." You laughed out and noticed Jungwoo and Winwin entering the place when one of them muttered a quiet happy anniversary to you because he was always shy in front of others but the other one had to make it dramatic.

"Everyone. Present here. Wait two are missing."

All of you were watching his stupid act, standing on the chair. He craned his neck to look at the stairs and waited for a few seconds before Mark and Jaehyun walked down with bright smiles on their faces.

"Okay here we have Mark and Jaehyun. Then We have Winwin at the table. Mr. Taeyong and Doyoung with our special girl, y/n." He stepped forward to you and took out a flower and kissed it before extending it to you, " a token of love for my precious soul."

"Thank you. Happy Anniversary to my dramatic love."

"Happy Anniversary, y/n." He pulled you away from the one hugging you and stepped towards the table.

You sat between Jaehyun and Mark and they both greeted you following with a smile and soft kiss. Doyoung cut a piece of the pancake and brought it to your lips. You chuckled and quickly ate it.

"Are these all for me?"you asked them.

"Yes. All for the special one." Mark excitedly said and kissed your cheek.

Winwin cleared his throat from across the table, "so what should we do today?"

"Give her the gifts."Mark proposed the idea but you quickly shook your head.

"No not now. My surprise is still left."

"Wait. Yeah, the secret. So tell me." Winwin happily nodded and stared at you.

"No. Get dressed. We are going to my cafe and then everything will be revealed."

"Promise?"

"Of course, Doyoung."

They all quickly dressed up in some denims or leathers but of course they were looking fine individually. You couldn't take your eyes from one of them. Are you even matching with them?

You looked down at your dress and Jungwoo grabbed your shoulders to face them.

"How is she looking?"

The moment their gaze fell on you, everyone stopped, everything was still, a look of adoration and love painted across their faces. They approached where you were shyly looking away when Jungwoo was keeping you in place.

"You look like my queen, love." Taeyong took your hand and kissed the back of your hand. Jaehyun kissed the side of your head and pulled you towards him, "well, we have something more to say but let's go to the cafe first."

"Then let's go."

It didn't take much time to reach the destination but as soon as you stepped inside the door. You started to feel nervous and that did get noticed by them. They were mesmerized by the wonderful decoration that you did and planned for the day. Somewhere, they felt sorry to even blame you for keeping secrets for this. Doyoung didn't leave your hand when you were showing around the details you organized which perfectly matched all six of their likings but the moment they came across the pink box with a letter on top of it. You stopped them.

"Wait!"

They all turned towards you.

"There's something I want to tell you."

Taeyong smiled at you, "go ahead."

"No. First you gave me the surprise and then I did so now it's your turn to tell me first and then I will. How about this?"

Mark smiled and approached you, hugging you from behind and then you noticed Taeyong pulling out a box from his leather jacket.

"Woah! What's that?"

"It's-"

“Y/n!”

"Y/n!"

You knew your friend's voice and when you heard her screaming from outside, you ran towards the door and pushed it open.

The boys shouted out your name but you didn't listen and searched for your friend outside the cafe.

There was no one.

No one on the silent and peaceful afternoon street. You felt weird because you were so sure that you heard your friend call out for you so many times.

Are you hearing things?

You felt someone watching you. You looked in each direction but you couldn't see anyone. The boys already exited the cafe.

"Who was there?" Winwin asked while looking around.

"I heard my friend calling for me."

"Then where is she?"

"I don't know."

Doyoung stepped in front of you and held your wrist, "let's go inside. Maybe she was fooling around."

You nodded and turned around with them.

But the moment you took a step.

All of you heard a gunshot.

What happened?

"Ah...D-doyoung."

"Y/n!"

As soon as they saw you, blood was flowing out of your chest. You got shot? Who shot you? They frantically looked around but there was no one in their sight. Doyoung sat on his knees when he felt your limp body leaning on him.

"It's okay, y/n. I will save you. Just wait for a while. We will take you to the hospital soon."

He held your hand when Mark was searching for a way to stop the flow of blood. But his mind was not working and processing the things to do.

The day started with so much joy and love but suddenly what just happened?

Both of the men by your side were scared. Scared to lose you. You were fighting back the urge to seep into sleep but clutched his hand tightly to stay awake. Mark was repeatedly telling you to keep your eyes open.

"Baring the car. Do it fast." Taeyong pushed Jaehyun towards the car but you weakly called out their names and asked them to come to you.

"Just take her to the hospital. Now!"

"Mark. No...I-i don't think I can make it."

"No no y/n. You can." He pressed your hand, which was clutching your chest.

"Taeyong, tell me what you wanted to say. Please"

"Let's go to the hospital."

you shook your head and looked at Winwin, "Can you bring me the pink box? please..." you coughed. Jaehyun already went to bring the car and you were clutching Doyoung's hand tightly. tears escaping your eyes even though you didn't want to cry. Winwin jogged inside the cafe and quickly he picked up the note and the box and wasting no more time, he went towards you.

"Get inside." Jaehyun opened the door for you all.

"Taeyong, tell me please."

he was hesitant to tell you at that moment but wasting unnecessary time means risking your life more. your breath was heaving and Mark was trying his best to keep you awake. Winwin approached the scene and when you noticed him, you weakly smiled at him.

But Taeyong pulled out the black box from his jacket and opened it. your glistening eyes blinked slowly, everything was blur, you could feel a small thing placed on your palm. Taeyong took your hand away from Doyoung's shirt.

you brought the thing closer to you.

It's a ring.

before you could say anything. you all entered the care. you were still looking at the ring. When Jungwoo noticed your fixed gaze on the ring and your grip was about to loosen. He curled your fingers and held your fist tightly.

Taeyong held back his tears and weakly said from the passenger seat, "we were going to ask you to marry us. A proposal ring."

you heard them. you wanted to say a lot of things but you couldn't. you wanted to say something else at the moment.

"Winwin, give the box to Taeyong." he was quick to follow your words. Jaehyun was often glancing at you from the rear mirror and to the front. their base hospital is a bit far away and they couldn't risk you reaching there so whatever problem they have to face, they were going to if they had to go to the city hospital.

Winwin kept the note in his hand and it was shaking in his hold.

"trust me...i love you......" you weakly whispered but the one holding you heard it.

"Y/n...y/n...don't close your eyes...please..hey stay awake."

you didn't open your eyes.

nor you were clutching his hand.

"y/n..."

"drive faster!" Taeyong almost shouted at him.

Mark hesitatingly asked, "what's inside the box?"

Taeyong stared at it for a while and then when he opened it. A tear dropped inside the box. Jaehyun's breath hitched and looked at you but your eyes were closed.

"Y/n...baby..."

aren't you going to smile at him? atleast for the last time.

Congratulations! It's a girl.'

Mark snatched the box from him and his eyes went wide. he urged the other to open the note and there it was, you have ranted everything like always and in the end,

'I collected some flowers for each day after I got the news of pregnancy. I could tell you earlier but I wanted to say it on a special day. I am not hiding anything from you except this. Just trust me. I want to give it to you all as a surprise.'

Jungwoo brought your hand to his lips to plant a kiss.

Doyoung pressed a kiss on your temple, "I trust you."

Are you just going to leave them now?

They won’t trust anything anymore when you didn’t even say the final goodbye.

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. If my favoritism is showing with some members then please try to understand oz they are my bias.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg

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