#idk if people still use those shipnames LOL

[hremails-art]

was trying to figure out how to draw hatey

[valyrfia]

I get your concern but ignoring it is the best solution, there's no need to panic at the second your ears hear the word lestappen coming from them. First of all lestappen is not gonna have a "fallout" because they're not friends to begin with so what fallout exactly can they have lol, they already knew the existence of the word lestappen because it's been there for years, and the RBR account for sure makes use of it. And also, didn't Max received an MTV couple award with Checo a few months ago and the sky remained the same? Cant get weirder than that. Or it can idk, I feel like an scenario where any ship name remains in only one single space it's not only impossible, but it's never going to happen, in an ideal word sure, it would be just a dirty secret that no one knows about but stressing out about it it's gonna only be bad for y'all.. But also, if his friend made that comment and pisses Max off very much, or makes him feel weird I'm sure he's gonna be like "don't ever do that again" or something. For what I've seen everyone had your reaction in the chat so I'm sure they got the message that it's a forbidden word

These two back to back in my inbox are first of all. A LITTLE funny.

Secondly, to the first anon, it’s hardly Max and Charles I really worry about, it’s how people can forget themselves when they think that rpf is suddenly “mainstream”. It’s usually a tiny tiny majority who ruin it for the rest of us but do forgive those of us who were around for great rpf fallouts for being a little paranoid. Second anon, you and I are of the same opinion. RPF is fun when it’s contained but when people start to bring explicit RPF content to more public platforms (and ironically, it’s usually content that’s the original author has published on a closed platform, ie. tumblr or ao3). Class A disaster is the jumpy paranoid side of both of us talking but I unfortunately agree.

Also I think it’s good to remind everyone generally. RPF is a weird thing, it’s inherently weird. These are not fictional characters, we’re superimposing our narratives on top of real people’s lives while they’re still around to see it. We all love it and partake in it, but it’s not something that would constitute casual conversation or would be talked about walking down the street. RPF is super fun but be aware it cannot function like a normal fictional ship because these are not fictional characters.

Chestappen vs. Lestappen is a weird one because Chestappen can be waved off as a joke a lot easier (teammates = marriage) and also I get the feeling that it is generally a lot more of a joke. Unfortunately when I see Lestappen stuff not on here or ao3 it seems a lot less jokey. People also seem comfier discussing fic (?!) on tiktok and twitter with Lestappen, which to me IS a cardinal sin. I think a lot of people misunderstand me when I say don’t talk about RPF outside of designated spaces, I’m not saying the shipname is a dirty word that must NEVER be used, or that those who make fun edits on tiktok are evil and should die. I simply mean, people need to not be letting on that there’s anything deeper to the ship aside from a joke. I’ve seen a lot of people scoffing at me and people who have adopted a similar hard stance as me and all I have to say is: humour us because we’ve probably got very good reasons to be wary.

[the-kk-crow]

Back ALL THE WAY IN FEBRUARY 2022 I was like "hey guysss I want to do one of those "Give me four ships to make fanart of" memes! Send me ur ships!" and I got TWELVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE with TWELVE DIFFERENT SHIPS.

So I decided. I'd just do. All of them?

Terrible idea, like 10 months later, I've finally finished it. Why did I do that. Anyways enjoy your rarepairs and not-so-rarepairs.

If people want these individually posted then tell me and I will!

Errorink - Error is big loner angry hates being touched and Ink is energetic touchy feely. I feel like for any art that is supposed to describe ink/error relationship you have to have Ink: :D and Error: D:< and so I had him hug him lol.

Cream - they are just cute soft fluffy. Cross carries Dream as a way to show that he "supports" them, lol

MareNight - Black Apple Blues is adorable and you should all read it

DreamNight - I tagged it dreammare because it's the common tag but I decided I would be wrong to not give it a more accurate name lol. Idk much here I just know that Dream is the more :yellow_heart: one in the relationship so it's funny. Also coup timeline for variety in outfits and that is when they are more comfortable. Why is Night scandalized? idk lol

DrInk - Funny shipname. This ship was most popular in the star-sanses era in early fandom where energetic baby Dream was at its most dominant so the ship was always very energetic, and though my dream is SAD I thought I should still represent that with the movement of the picture!

Crightmare - blame @wyrm-in-the-apple

Desporlue - I just think Two Scary Murder Lookin Guys being all interested in the totally normal kinda cute well adjusted fellow is really funny

NightKiller - This shipname is funny. Back in 2019 I always saw it as Killer constantly following nm around and nm was annoyed about it but TOLERATED IT

Criller - fucking castle fic. This ship used to be a rarepair once you know. But yeah the dynamic everyone does for this one is always "Killer is annoying bastard and Cross wants him to go away and then they bang I guess" and I have barely seen any variation on that lol

Despor - my pet now! Man that was hard to draw

Bleam - It's like DrInk/Cream where Blue is the more dominant caretaker but also it's energetic

Bloss - they were both royal guards once that's cool

[grahamcarmen]

No i didn't send a ask yet i was just checking to see if you got the ask since a previous ask i send to another blogger was never answered.

anyway, deep thought but if you think about it when people ship carmen and grey back at vile academy and during each one's brainwashing you're essentially shipping different characters making redcrackle have plenty of subcategories, what would be your ship name for each categorie( I can't be bothered to list how many there are i'm sorry).

also also, have you seen kitsukits redcrackle "arcade" amv and AuroralovesMCSM's "Carmen and grey being in love for 5 minutes and 30 seconds" complication video.

Oh ok!

I can see that lol.

I don't romantically ship them at the VILE academy stage [even if I do believe its an important dynamic to their overall relationship] because thats where its strictly platonic. But since I have been around around long enough that I know that people sometimes people use ship as just a relation"ship" marker [hi ouat I know you guys weren't actually shipping certain peeps lol. Like they had platonic ship names regularly and most people understood that :p] that part would probably be cracklesheep or graysheep because thats when carmen was just Black sheep and gray didn't have any attachment to his name graham but also wasn't hard line about being crackle yet.

Carmen looking at Graham looking at her romantically and going 👉���maybe maybe? And allowing carmen to take the initiative in prioritizing her protective feelings over him?and lowkey allowing graham to again gain affection for her in an entirely different light...Hmmm

Svdjdkdokd i guess grahamcarmen or carmgray because she is still insisting on calling him gray and ascribing his new flirtation and doing good as like a mishmash

Gray pretending that she would have made the choice to be carmen while being on the island with that sinking feeling that no. carmen exists because she was chose to leave and connect with the outside world? And more than just acknowledging it wanting to protect it at the cost of what he valued most? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Cracklecarmen?

Tbh I've really grown attached to red crackle not just because its the first way to make it clear that i want these 2 to kiss because its the clear romantic shipname lol but also because its kinda what they choose to portray themselves as. Carmen using her red coat and name from the outfit she got off the island to signal the need to stop VILE to anyone who can find her and Crackle as a codename of the path that gray is choosing to follow even as he finds something good inside him trying to make it to the surface

and their relationship allowing them to clash but also want to look past that to the people who made these choices because they care about them.

And what makes it fun is that those subcategories include past subcategories, build on them, and change aspects of their relationship ever so slightly until we end up with something that is not at all how they started [gray in love with carmen and carmen with her deeper feelings of being forced to go without him as fully expressed as the finale allowed] . And when their memories are in place they acknowledge that. Its all rc to me...but I get it ! Exploring each category is VERRRRY different and I even sometimes tag them dark! Redcrackle for the dark red caper version of them instead of redcrackle because that is just ...different.

and my username lol is because I LOVE her nickname for him but always champion that entirely ignoring " graham " isnt....like they do need to adress that...somehow...not even to always go by his name because he's not anti-his nickname [and as you can see i think that carmen conflating his flirtations as something gray now can do 🥰 is hmmmmmmmmmm] but its still...~~~~~~idk. I am very appreciative that he does have a full name.

I have actually a playlist trying to save as many rc vids as I can find so yes! I have seen the arcade fanvid but like I might have just saved the other vid and watched the episodes again 😭

Edit: IALMOST FORGOT HIMALAYA AND TRAIN RC they can be cracklecarmen uwu

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

tbh you’re probably right that it’s for the best that gossip girl didn’t touch dan/nate given the way the writers did, well... everything lmao. but! rewatching season 2 and i can’t help but want them to be boyfriends. 🥺 their tiny arc was so good!!! which leads me to the question: if the show WAS going to go there but still maintain its same escapist tone, how do you think the storyline might have gone? (best case, and like, realistic case lol)

haha, i KNOW. god, i know. and i think as the later seasons had everyone behaving weirdly, the dan & nate friendship remained pretty healthy and pure, and i also feel like chace and penn added something to the dynamic? forever thinking about that actors on actors interview of them both where they talk about how they enjoyed all the little scenes d&n had together. 

i feel like d/n could never really have been an endgame ship, if they had been canon, just running off the general theme of like. how much this show always disappoints me dhsklkdfhg. ok but jokes aside, i think this is how it’d go...

under the cut! lmao, RIP.

 after the derena/ nate & catherine stuff in the initial bit of s2 (ick) there would be no natessa/derena. once nate moves in with the humphreys, i think they would eventually start dating. there wouldn’t need to be much build up or slow burn. i think it’d be hilarious if chuck somehow was instrumental in this, because i remember nate & chuck fighting/ not being on good terms? 

so, imagine chuck saying to nate, “why humdrum humphrey anyway? i could help you through whatever you’re going through, always have, always will ;) i know you nathaniel, your sense of pride and how you never want anyone to see you in a situation of weakness. what is it about humphrey that makes you want to play damsel in distress, to be saved by him? do you like him or something?” and nate would just be sarcastic/pissed off but the words would stay stuck in his head. meanwhile, jenny would find some of dan’s writing and call him aside and be like, ‘you left this notebook open - i swear i didn’t mean to read it i was looking for something else - and dan, i legit cannot tell if this love poem is for nate or serena?’ and dan would be like, ‘haha, serena, obviously, i’m super heterosexual, i’m the straightest man in all of new york, why would you ask,’ and jenny wouldn’t buy it, and dan also wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. 

they’d get together eventually! it would happen in some hilarious way, i have no idea. they’d try and keep it quiet / off gossip girl, because of nate’s family ,but most of their friends would know. i feel like serena would be annoyed by it, in similar ways that she didn’t like dan/blair but her behaviour wouldn’t be as bad, and she would probably come around. vanessa too i feel would be initially jealous but she would come around quicker. i feel it would be genre wise totally in character to have some sort of chuck & blair try and break up dan & nate nonsense, and i don’t think it’d work. 

rufus, i feel, would not like it, not for homophobic reasons, but, “son. you deserve to be with someone who is willing to be public with you. not someone who is treating you like a dirty little secret.” / “dad, it’s not like that.” / “i’m just worried that you’re making him your family and first priority, and he’s never going to choose you first.” / “nate loves me, dad, i can’t ask him to rock the boat with his family. you don’t understand.” etc etc.

i do think they would either break up in a similar way to the natessa breakup, but i also feel like dan would be more sympathetic to nate’s feeling of owing the family something, and not take it personally (again, i think vanessa was entirely justified in the way she responded to nate’s entire thing, i just feel like dan is a complacent little dude slkahfkldh). i was talking to liz about how im one day going to write a s3 date au  in which nate is telling dan about how he’s going to date a republican to piss off his family and dan is like *judgemental look * you’d date a republican? and then he’s like. nate. if you want to piss off your family that badly, why don’t you just pretend to date me? and yeah, you can see where this is going.

so i think that’d be a fun thing to write re: them getting together, but i think here, this would be a perfect way to get them to break-up. nate is like, dan, what if we went public with my family, and dan is all like ‘omg really bro?’ and then he realises it’s nate’s idea to just cause a scandal, and he’s deeply hurt, because it’s like, ‘you basically just want to use your relationship with me, and well, essentially, use me to solve your problems? i thought we were doing this for us, nate, but clearly we’re doing this for you.’ and nate would be like, ‘that isn’t fair, i have to put my family first,’ and dan’s like ‘sure, you have to. when have they EVER put you first?’ and nate would be like, ‘it’s like how you love jenny more than me. family always comes first’ and dan would be like ‘how dare you compare jenny to those people’ etc etc etc basically it would get very nasty and i see them breaking up in s3. 

s4 is another GAY season like i think it’d make sense if during the d/s/n love triangle nonsense & also just during the milo arc, we have them dating. i feel like the fact that we already have, in canon, dan basically telling nate first (and only nate) that he has a baby is... pretty gay. it’d be cool if juliet’s manipulation of nate (assuming there is a juliet) went along the lines of, ‘you’re still in love with dan humphrey, and you should give dating him another shot.’ so then the whole thing with serena feeling left out and all that is accomplished, and accomplished better than it would be with danessa/ julinate (haha, what a shipname.) 

again, i don’t think they would ever be written as endgame, and i think they would break up again at some point, maybe because of the serena thing. this time wouldn’t be like the other time, because they both know serena is there and is maybe going to date one of them, maybe wants one of them more than the other. and serena was their dream girl at one point (maybe she no longer is.) and dan would definitely be insecure about this i feel because like - why would nate, or anyone really, date him when they could be dating serena? i feel like he’d probably sabotage their relationship on purpose, or something. i really feel like losing milo gives dan, like, the potential for some emotionally terrible life choices.

so, there we go! slots in with show canon reasonably well, i suppose. we still get our dair and everything else. that said! the way i feel about most of these characters most of the time is like. they do not deserve this show. i want to put them in other shows and movies. like. can you imagine serena in some kind of experimental indie coming of age leaving home roadtrip film? that would be SO good. we already talk about the romcom nature of d/b. i just feel like d/n was so... idk. they were such bros, i found it really sweet and fascinating that nate was able to bring out a side of dan that was so... informal? is the best word?