#idk if it will get finished or even started but at least i have the concepts for all of em down 🫡
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Eyes!!!
Eyes!! seriously!!! eyes again?
why do so many fandoms I'm in have some kind of association or whatever with eyes?
I can think of three off the top of my head right now! and yes one of them is the newest example but seriously I can't look at a picture of eyes anymore without thinking of one of several different fandoms
because first it was Hermitcraft/The Life Series and The Watchers (yes I know that the watchers are from Evo I did not watch it and I'm not planning on it but I picked up most of the lore from the fandom probably because most of the lore is made up by the fandom )
Then there's Gravity Falls and Bill Cipher (that one is pretty self-explanatory it also ruined triangles I can't even look at traffic signs when the show is on my mind)
And now it's something in The Magnus Archives (and I don't know what's going on with the eyes they haven't showed up in the story for me yet but I saw it quite a lot in fanart I saw so chances are that eyes are something significant even if it's only significant in the fandom it's still more eyes. eyes!! why so many eyes! I like eyes but why!)
I've only started listening to it a few days ago I've only just now finished episode 34 and I was like "oh I'm gonna look at the hashtag on Tumblr and see what they have going on just briefly not enough to get proper spoilers and I'll start following it when I'm done with most of the show I'll just have a peak" and then there were eyes! there's eyes again!!
(I'm trying not to think about the implications for the story I don't want to give myself spoilers by overthinking it even if I usually don't mind knowing what's gonna happen in a story)
And the point is I don't know why so many fandoms I'm in or at least interested in like eyes so much I think its my personal like of eyes I don't like them that much on people (that's not to say I dislike when people have eyes but you know what I mean) I'm mostly neutral but eyeconography (see what I did) always seems to draw me in IDK why but it does
I have these lights... well I'll just include a picture
I got these very recently I do not use them as Halloween decorations they're just normal room decorations
I'm not even obsessed with eyes I like them a normal amount
It could also be because eyes are a very common imagery they're quite simple and can be used very effectively quite easily so that also plays a role in it
I don't know, it's just funny to me that;
there's eyes everywhere except they're not watching me, I'm the one watching them.
#me talking#gravity falls#the life series#hermitcraft#the magnus archives#sorry this post just so long I'm just incapable of shutting up and I edited this down quite a bit already actually#I like eye imagery it's just funny to me that I also see it everywhere I like it but it's also funny
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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pepito…..
#qsmp#fanart#art#pepito#pepito the egg#wittle guy#this is actually a design for the pepito cup rhfhdhhebahajn#idk if it will get finished or even started but at least i have the concepts for all of em down 🫡#500 woah#to the tags uhm hey pepito is a boy and uses he/him he said so himself to mariana during the prison arc 😭 stop correcting each other bro 😭😭#the no prns was a joke like headcanons r fine but stop spreading misinformation 🙏🙏🙏 if anyone wants the clip lmk
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can i get on his shoulder if im being annoying enough
#wow i think i actually tried#i mean the rendering and the body and stuff#probably the most exposed character i've drawn#you know#compared with basically any other characters i draw that doesn't even show an inch of skin#oh well at least you gotta start somewhere#seriously i should learn / practice something about art now because i just finished my fucking horrible monthly meeting yesterday-#-and i SHOULD have some time for that kind of stuff now#by “should” i mean there's a high chance i will spend that time on other games#also i bought ror2 btw#it was on sale so i bought the main game#idk when i'll get around to it but i bet im gonna crunch through another game's wiki before even touching the game#just like basically any other games i played#don't ask me why i do that i kinda just do#risk of rain 2#ror2#ror2 commando#mithrix#my art
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It's pomegranate season :)
A redraw of this piece from around a year ago
#hello guys...(:#i started school back in mid September! its hell#and my chronic pain is rly bad these days i can barely do anything#and my next break will be spent at the hospital#but love and light at least we're trucjing along and getting somewhere hopefully#this drawing isn't exactly the most finished the most effortful what have you but its all i can guve you#confession time: idk if i have it in me to keep drawing the guys#dont get me wrong still adore them. but i feel a little out of it#maybe this'll change the second i post this but whatever.#i had an amazing time being active in the fandom you guys are so sweet and you got me thru rough patches <3#I'll still be around just even more inactive#anyway i hope you enjoy this!!!#i feel like I've improves substantially which is good#cwilbur#dsmp fanart#my art#thx to everyone that's loved my art yall hold a special place in my heart#alright bye bye xoxo#ps esteemed mutuals and lovely audience never hesitate talking to me i am always around and i love ppl I'm just socially anxious#fennec.art
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#by for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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Finally finished Attack on Titan. My God. Just. Wow.
#I started it when it first came out then was very odd and on#I eventually watched like 3 seasons in and never watched the last season or the long finale eps#I started getting my brother more into anime over the last like 2 years or so#he discovered AOT and finished it a while ago now and has been pushing for me to finish it too for like probably over a year at least#I’ve always been reluctant cause it’s such a heavy show and I had to be in the mood#finally the stars aligned tonight and we watched the final finale ep.#I cried several times.#it was perfect#it was painful and perfect#my fucking heart#hard to believe I finally finished it after over a decade from when I started it#and now I have lots of convos about it with my brother to look forward to#we’ve already discussed plenty tonight. but it’s getting late and idk if my brain’s even fully processed it all#attack on titan#top tier in my books#I don’t think I could ever do justice to the show trying to explain what was so good about it#gotta appreciate the little things. need to take the time to look at where I am rather than just where I want to reach.#peace and freedom are always worth reaching for even if war and suffering are inevitable to life. cherish the lives around you.#those are my takeaways from the series. those are the messages I received. and what a tragic and beautiful journey it was.
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10.20.2023 // gonna get bit by that thing
also bonus crop from the desktop wallpaper because i liked it, it made me happy 🥺
#illustration#original art#ocs#oc: ren#this felt like a bit of a slog to start up and get finished which pains me to say tbh because at the heart of it i enjoy this lad!!!#but i think the character was kind of in a weird resentful place in my heart for a bit#and as much as i wanted to whip up an oc card of the golden boy for myself i also. Did Not Want To At All.#other people wanted him included which was like. kind of the main driving force. glad they wanted one of him tho.#also ive just beennnnnnnnnnn not doing too hot both mentally and kind of physically so that may have played a part in not finishing this#normally i start tanking around march and reach my low point in may and things get better a little after that into january but no dice#it was just a lot easier to zone out and play video games than try to work on things even if it made me feel bad to do that#wish i could say things were getting better but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ✌️✨#anyway im going to probably lay down for a bit#literally or metaphorically idk#had a good rest over the weekend but i need like. at least thirty more rests of that caliber in a row i think.
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In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1
#oc liveblogging#ughhhhhhh i really CANNOT afford to be procrastinating rn but i know this happens when im extremelyyyyyy fucking stressed.#creative/art related classes always get me for this reason bc ill use 'wait but i need to find inspiration!' as an excuse to procrastinate.#fuckkkkkkkkkk. UGH IM NOT EVEN WRITING SOMETHING FROM SCRATCH ITS JUST A FINAL REVISION BUT IM CONVINCED IT SUCKS#the worst part is hkjhkjGHKJ I HAVE TO PRESENT SOME OF THIS SHIT AT AN. INTERNATIONAL FUCKING CONFERENCE GUYS. GUYSYSSSS#anyways this post is sadly not related to that. nothing im presenting is related to my ocs [un]fortunately lmao#ive just been thinking rotating various oc stories around in my head again ourgghhhh.#and i realized this LMAO. i mean maybe technically not 2 separate stories anymore because im recycling a lot from one for the other?#one of these was already established lowkey and the other was something i made for an assignment for a class like 2 years ago#i actually don't know if petunie will be blonde in her final incarnation?? ive always imagined her as silvery blonde ig but idk#if ill keep that. she doesnt have proper colors like colin but at least colin has his design set more straight somewhat.#and all the recent petunie development is lowkey really fucking funny to think abt. i girlbossed with her character development so#hard that she really replaced lucian as a protagonist HAHAJSDHKGJ. ok well not 100% kamille's story is a shoot-off#of lucian's technically? i guess? it started becoming that and now its solidified as that lowkey bc same town same place time period people#but man if im not careful i might accidentally make kamille/petunie's arc THE default one and lucian's main one the offshoot instead#a lot remains to be seen. but also yeah the other one who's story is mostly getting recycled (myrtille) actually ALSO HAD HER MOM#COME FROM THIS SAME FUCKING PLACE BASICALLY. a few decades later but still bruh given developments for lucian's story too its just like#at this point im noticing a pattern man wtf is wrong w/ women who come from this town specifically lol. 😔🥴#this town in general is just fucking cursed though i think ahkjshkg. i mean that jokingly and literally lolololl i gotta. work on it. but y#I HATE IT HERE WHY ARE WEIRD LITTLE FUCKING TOWNS WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS ALWAYS A CONSISTENT TROPE IN MY STORIES /silly#I DONT EVEN COME FROM A WEIRD LITTLE TOWN MY HOMETOWN IS LIKE. AVERAGE NORMALISH NOT SUPER LARGE??? IDFK?????#haaaaaaa fuck i need to finish this by the end of TODAY I S2G!!! SO I CAN MOVE ON TO ALL THE OTHER SHIT I OWE FUCKKKK
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another doodle :3 mtt clothing swap!
DUST STOP SERVING WITH HORROR AND TAKE YOUR DEAD ASS BROTHERS SCARF OFF KILLER HES ABOUT TO HAVE A MOVIE REALISTIC PANIC ATTACK
#this is what bad sanses is to me#horrordust having the time of their lives and then the world + nightmare being out for killer#no because why do they look good in each others clothes. actually why did i ask theyre mtt OF COURSE they look good in eachothers clothes#i cant tell im just biased or not but dust doesnt look that bald without the hood the way i drew him#he looks FAR too similar to classic in my style though its unnerving. ive been noticing that recently its scary#change the colors on him thats classic. thats sans undertale#killer a PAPYRUS behind you 💙#hold up wait hold on??? DUST outfit killer... HORROR outfit dust... KILLER outfit horror........#that order of swaps is just like a certain other trio of mine. i wonder who. huh#swapinverse reference (only i understand because i have not told much about swapinverse to anyone)#triglycercule when will you stop talking about swapinverse when nobody knows about it and actually start swapinverse posting!!!!!#never (when i finish the full doc including character details and actual multiverse lore)#which will likely be in like 2027 or something idk man im a slow worker#slow in working and physical activity too 💔💔💔 triglycercule what can you not not do?#i can be unnecessarily into 3 freaks who dont even know eachother and put them into every situation together#truely comedic. thank you i know. i am truly a comic. call me the muse of comedy. call me....... thalia (gets shot)#ANOTHER swapinverse reference???? WE CANNOT LET BRO GET AWAY WITH THIS ‼️‼️‼️‼️#was gonna say bruh but then i realized i would sound too much like epic and um#listen epic i like you but id rather shoot myself than speak like you bruh#yet another doodle where killer is the butt of the joke. at least its not like 90% of other jokes like this#where killer either gets the shit beaten out of him or he gets yelled at or someone gets angry at him#i dont have the right to criticize the majority of the fandom's humor ill silence myself#tricule art#THIS one goes in tricule art because its digital and not traditional. i know thats medium discrimination. i dont care#can you believe i only drew this during a 5 hour flight. seriously. 5 HOURS 4 ONLY THIS?????#whatever at least ive been drawing. bare minimum is best minimum#as long as i keep draw...... eventually ill improve....... its literally impossible if i dont improve if i dont keep drawing#imGONNA improve soon trust (when will it happne 😞😞😞☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️)
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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i NEED to get back into writing but it's so hard and im being so brave about it😭
#i have so many tabs open i keep changing my mind about what i should write#ive just been fucking around on my laptop for like an hour idk what im doing#at first i was like well i could just warm up with some random prompts. but then i was like thats not motivating enough rn#so i was like okay i'll work on memory wip. but i don't have an outline and i've only written a little bit of the first draft#so i don't know what's going to happen which means i'd have to Think. and also read through my notes bc i don't remember what i've decided#abt the characters and worldbuilding#but like. i just cant be bothered to do that😭#so you see the issue is laziness#i guess i should just use a simple prompt at first even tho i dont feel like it just to get over the hurdle#at least i'll have written something....#speaking it into existence I CAN WRITE REGULARLY IF I CHOOSE TO!!!#I'll need the outlet when I start my new job in august im so fucking nervous#i'll need something to keep me sane😭#and i want to actually be able to finish the projects i start! at least finish a single draft! i've done it before i can do it again!#vee.txt
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man i really thought this week was going to kick my ass, but i just got the whole week's worth of code done in the last hour or so, so now i can focus entirely on my other classes :D
#that also lowkey sucks bc coding is the most fun i get to have with homework#but tomorrow i can focus on stats and precalc#and maaaybe even do my ethics project#idk#i at least wanna try and finish precalc tomorrow morning so i can stay reasonably ahead in that class#and my stats hw isnt due until friday#so i just need to get a solid start on it#i have never been this on top of my homework in my entire life#someone congratulate me#i'm gonna say my meds are why bc the anxiety -> dont do hw bc too anxious to start -> more anxiety cycle#hasnt really been there#the anxiety made a HUGE comeback this weekend and i had a depression session#but at least today i completed a Lot#lea speaks
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being a slow crocheter is like. okay. one cardigan will take me at least sixty hours of work, and I might have to learn how to do flat granny stitching for the sleeves to avoid making more granny squares, but I'll have something cute to wear when all is said and done??
and then that eventually spirals into "Okay but I need to learn how to make tank tops so that I can make one to match the cardigan, and then I also hope I have enough left of my purple yarn so that I can make the waistband for a pair of shorts bc I want to have a whole set for when it gets warm!!" even though it's already warm and I might just be devoting literal hours of work into all of this for the next ten days so that I can have this entire thing done by June 1st
#mikey talks#crochet#I have 6 squares of like. 20-30 necessary completed and I've been working on the project for a good three days now#I'm gonna hopefully get enough to assemble the back done tomorrow and then thursday will get the front done#friday and saturday will be flat granny stitch/sleeve day#then sunday will be figuring out how to make the top and making it or at least starting#monday will be finishing the top if it's not done and if it is I'll start the shorts#and then keep working on them until they're done or I frog it out of frustration#I don't really wear the color combo I'm using (yellow and purple + also maybe a bit of white or brown or maybe even lavender?? idk)#but I'm super excited bc these shorts are gonna fit me super good and I'm gonna make sure I actually feel confident in the top!!#the cardigan is gonna be the most rewarding part methinks?? maybe
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finally sitting down to study japanese again after the big fail that was the jlpt n4 exam
#i don't have the results yet but even if i passed it was purely by luck and i still failed lol#but yeah i was unmotivated not because of the exam but just idk... studying in japan was so much fun and my classes in germany are...#not the same to say the least#also i needed to tidy my room and i had job interviews and friends stuff and then there was christmas#so i didnt really get around to sitting down at my desk and self study#butvi'm trying to get back on track!#i want to finish the genki 1 and minna no nihongo 1 books by june and then start the second books
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