#idk if it helps anyone but just in case imma do it

[aeliem]

for @inkcat1987's 201 chipmunk and bunny dtiys!!!

i liked the colors of the original so i kept them, thats why its much brighter than what i'm used to (so many colors)

timelapse & alt version under the cut

tried to add more glitches but its too chaotic (also error doesn't look so well) so my entry is the simpler one on top, this one is just a bonus

[cherry-pop-elf]

Kiss it Better Pt:3

Curly x Reader

AN: I am just speechless. All this support is making me tear up. Like holy shit. Thank you. Don’t worry! When this finishes(god idk how it will I’m making up as I go since yall want more chapters) I’ll make sure to post it to AO3 for easier access! Just thank you again! And uh. Don’t forget I have a Kofi and Wishlist if you wanna like tip or something. NO PRESSURE! Just a reminder to anyone who WANTS and CAN! You come first! Just. Thank you again!

SUM: You couldn’t sleep, so you try and remember things with Curly to lull you to sleep. As you do, you remember things that are important for a captain to have. Very important, and you are gonna be certain to find them

Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, mentions of abortion (it’s a rather calm chapter really. Take it as a pallet cleanser because the next chapter imma really show you how fucked up Jimmy is))

You just couldn’t sleep. It felt criminal to right now. So much was going through your head. So much has happened and now you had time to let it all soak in. The crash, Anya, why there was a crash, Curly’s condition, it made sleep impossible. Especially alone in that big bed that was meant for you and your husband.

You tried to take in deep breaths, and just let the thoughts wash over you. There was responsibility as the Captains Spouse. You weren’t just ‘eye candy’ like Jimmy said. You had worth, and were just as much important to the team as everyone else.

Such as learning a thing or two about what Captain should do in case of an emergency.

Curly was in no state to help, and Jimmy sure as fuck won’t help either. He was the reason everyone crashed after all. He’s a loose cannon and you needed to tip toe around him. Who knows what he might do next. You weren’t even sure if telling Swansea and Daisuke about what’s going on was smart.

Swansea has little girls of his own after all. He won’t react well at all. Then there’s Daisuke. Barely nineteen and thrown into this mess. He might panic or maybe even do something crazy like confront Jimmy. There was just to many what ifs.

So you were left on your own.

You would wrap yourself up in what was once Curly’s sleep robe and grab his spare ID card. The very thing that can unlock any door, and be the one thing that can lock your bedroom door. Definitely should have Anya sleep in here for a while. She deserves to be able to sleep soundly.

While you were waiting for everyone to sleep as well you would explore the bedroom. Looking into nook and cranny to see if there was anything of use. The Captains always were given a bunch of extra shit after all. Even Pony Express had to meet some safety protocols. Curly was their best after all. Even went as far as to try and help him fine work else where. That’s what he explained to you.

Shame. Was just a normal bedroom. The only thing that made it special was it was bigger, and had a lock. Dammit all to hell.

That’s when you tried to think back on past memories of you and your husband. To try and recall any kind of special thing the ships carry. Oh how you felt so guilty for never paying enough attention. Made you feel stupid and useless, but you weren’t.

At least not in comparison to Jimmy.

With a deep breath, you managed to recall something. Something not long before the crash even. You had knocked on the cockpit door to enter it, and was greeted to your husband and Jimmy working. Curly was rambling on about something, while Jimmy kept eyeing the locker suspiciously. As if he wanted to get inside of it for some reason.

That’s your best lead now. God dammit was it a shitty one. The cockpit was stuffed to the brim with foam. But then again that’s the front of the cockpit. If you were careful, and cut the right spot, maybe you can access the locker.

It’s something. Something is better than nothing.

With the robe tossed aside, a change into your jump suit, gloves slipped on, and beanie pulled on to keep your head safe you would make your way to the kitchen. Card key tucked securely inside of your jumpsuit compared to a pocket.

Jimmy can’t know.

Can’t know that you were stealing the only knife that the ship had.

Was going to be a pain in the ass to cut that foam but you really had nothing better to do. So, you unlocked the cock pit and focused on remembering its layout.

“For Anya, for Curly, for Swansea, for Daisuke, and all our families back home.”

You would start the slow and agonizing cutting. Little by little. Just chopping away to try and reach the right side of the pit. To get to that locker and see what was inside. That locker was in the cockpit for a reason. It can only be accessed by the pilots for a reason. There was a reason.

Any time you felt like your arms would give out you thought back to Curly. How he didn’t really have arms anymore to begin with. How Anya was busy throwing up right now. How they needed you. They both needed you.

It had been well over a hour, but you managed to reach the locker. You allowed yourself a breather at the sight of it. Damn was that a pain, but it’ll be worth it. Right?

With your breather over you would use the key card to access the locker. Inside was….Honestly junk. That had you very disappointed. You were honestly ready to cry out of frustration, only to see there were a few locked cabinets inside.

Ones that needed codes.

Codes you knew.

Curly made you memorize them in case of an emergency. He just said to memorize them. That it’s meant to just unlock pin pads. That Pony Express never bothered to change them.

You went to the lower locker and typed it in.

Strange, there was nothing inside. Suppose whatever was inside was taken out. You wondered what could have been in there. Was a very small locker so maybe it was some code scanner or universal unlocking device. Just wasn’t big enough for something you hoped for.

A transmitter.

He prayed it was near the front of the ship. That a transmitter would stuck in the heart of the foam, or as far as just shatter on contact. They had to have a spare communicator. Pony Express had to follow SOME rules after all. Imagine the ship being discovered and the people who found it saw it was missing something as important as that.

So you typed in the code for the larger locker. You were kinda afraid of opening it. To be met with another empty void of metal and dust.

You took a deep breath, and opened.

There really was a god.

There was what you were looking for. A real deal communicator. It was real, it looked untouched and even had dust on it to show that Jimmy never reached it.

Before you grabbed it you made sure to close the door behind you. Just to be sure. Was the dead of night, well from what the clocks say, and everyone should be asleep. Even Jimmy had to sleep. You had to make you move now.

Remain calm, and focus.

You can’t fuck this up.

You snuggled yourself into the corner of the pit, with the communication device in your lap. You hooked the head phones onto your head, and turned it on.

As you waited for it to boot up you made sure you were positioned so that if anyone came through the door, for some reason, you’ll notice. As far as anyone was aware though this room was basically a wall. No purpose to enter. You should be safe, but you had to think ahead. Jimmy was unpredictable, and so full of himself.

Better to be over prepared than see what happens if Jimmy finds out what you are doing.

Couldn’t help but give a squeak of surprise when someone finally spoke to you.

“This is the Emergency Spaceship Retrieval Sector. What seems to be the problem?”

A woman, through the static, spoke to you. Tears of relief fell down your face but you forced yourself to remain focused. You can’t mess this up now. No way no how.

“This is Tulpar for Pony Express. We have suffered a crash about a month ago. From what I can recall we had been a little over four months into our twelve month journey-“ You immediately explained, as to best help them get an estimation on how far the ship had traveled.

“Alright, who may I be speaking to at this moment?”

Deep breaths.

“I am the Spouse to Captain Curly. It is me, Jimmy the co-pilot, Anya the nurse, Swansea the mechanic, and Daisuke our intern.” Deep breaths, keep things quick and to the point.

“Are you all in any immediate danger?”

You had to think about that a moment. Jimmy is a dangerous man. Who knows what he might do next if you don’t play along. So, you had to be honest. You felt guilty for telling the operator what happened. That Curly suffered greatly and needed immediate medical attention, how Anya was a victim of assault and required an abortion as soon as possible, and that the reason for it all was because of Jimmy. He crashed the ship, he raped Anya, he destroyed Curly, and god knows what he will do next.

“Estimated arrival time will be about a month. We have your exact location thanks to the communicator. Remain calm, and know that help is on the way. We have logged this down in the report. Take care of your crew the best you can, Captain.”

And she would log off. You would let your head thump back, and simply cried. Cried in pure relief and joy. That a real person heard you, and was aware of what’s going on. That if anything did go wrong that at least someone knows. Someone will know what happened.

There was hope.

Now was a matter of survival.

One month.

You all needed to survive one month.

One Month Until Rescue…

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@dinkyzoop @danart501 @spudfromspace @niyamamiya

[hotchs-big-hands]

What did you call me?

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|4.9k words

Aaron Hotchner x plus size fem!reader

NSFW Minors dni please

Warning(s): some angst, yearning, details about graphic crime scenes, strip clubs/sex clubs.

When Dom/sub couples begin to show up murdered mid-coital, the BAU team is brought in to solve the case. But as more couples are found and the unsub remains undetected, it becomes an undercover mission. The posing Dom/sub couple in question? Your intimidating, attractive boss and you.

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Hey everyone, welcome to my first fanfic! I used to write and post stuff back in 2018ish but it was a different fandom. I've not written and posted anything tho since then so I'm a bit nervous! But idk I just got back into cm recently and I saw Hotch and my brain was like oh yeah 👁️👁️ (I used to be a Spencer girlie) and I've mostly written stuff for myself but I decided imma start doing stuff on here too! I hope you enjoy and lemme know if you wanna be tagged in future writings 🥰 side note, I'm a fat gal so I will probably centre most of my stuff around plus size readers cuz there's not enough of it for plus size Hotch girlies 😔 but technically anyone can read and enjoy it! This was getting extremely long so I'm splitting it into three parts so here's the first one! Anyway, enjoy 💅

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The feeling of something blunt lightly bounced against your forehead, making you blink a few times and rub the area with your hand.

"Hey... Who did that?" You grumbled, eyes darting from one face of your coworkers to the next. Three of them all pointed towards the culprit and as your eyes drifted back to him you were met with a cheeky grin on the charming, dark-skinned man's face.

"You were spaced out, sugar." Derek Morgan said. "Got a lot on your mind?"

"Got a lot of him on her mind, more like." A voice cut in smugly, flustering you in an instant, your heart beginning to race. Your eyes flicked to Prentiss, the pristine raven haired woman was smirking at you, her eyes glinting. You squeaked and shifted in your office chair nervously.

"No, Em! Just... couldn't sleep last night."

The weak explanation didn't help, it only widened the smirk on Prentiss' face as she leaned forward.

"Oh? Do tell us more."

"There's nothing to say!" You abruptly turned to the casefile that lay open on your slightly messy desk and tried to ignore the movement at the corner of your eye; Emily was shuffling her chair over to you, no doubt still with that annoying smirk on her face.

"Oh it sure sounds like there is though."

Before you had the chance to defend yourself an all too familiar voice demanded everyone's attention and subsequently caused a shiver to trickle down your spine. Your hands gripped onto your chair.

"My team; in the conference room now. We have a case." Your unit chief spoke. All heads turned to the direction of a slightly elevated walkway where a sharply dressed man stood for a mere moment, locking eyes with yours, before he began walking briskly towards the mentioned conference room.

Fuck. Hotch was wearing your favourite suit and tie today and a few stray wisps of his short, dark hair stubbornly lay over his forehead, no matter how often he must have tried to push them up off his face. Everyday was harder than the previous working with that man. The moment you'd attended your interview months ago, sitting in front of the brooding man, you knew you were fucked. Yes, you had been eager to join the famed BAU unit and were grateful for the opportunity that arose but you'd be lying if another reason you eagerly answered all the questions prompted to you in that interview wasn't because you were instantly attracted to Aaron Hotchner. However, that was almost a year ago now and you were struggling with your growing attraction to the man the more you were around him. Your coworkers and friends certainly were no help, given they'd soon caught onto your crush.

A hand waved in front of your face and you blinked.

"Time to go, lovergirl." Prentiss teased and you sighed, quickly joining the others as they made their way to the case briefing. You needed to focus.

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Landing in Chicago a few hours later, the team were thrust into a gnarly investigation involving couples being murdered in their hotel rooms mid-coital. The crime scene photos were hard to look at, to say the least. Setting up a base of operations in the police department didn't take too long and currently you were in the midst of interviewing family members of the deceased along with Hotch at his insistence. It wasn't often that you took part in these interviews, even less often did Hotch ever team you up with him. Quite frankly, it made you feel a little nervous, but there was no way you'd question his decision. And certainly, you did not miss the subtle smug look Emily gave you as you trailed after the man you thought about way too much.

Sitting beside him in the SUV, just the two of you alone made your head feel a little bit floaty as you tried your best to remain as stoic as possible, reminding yourself of the details of the case so far and of the little bits of information from the families you'd spoken to. Even with the effort there was no preventing the permeating scent of his cologne and a hint of his own natural musk from scrambling your brain. He smelled good, too good, and the way his hands gripped the steering wheel from the quick glances you dared peek developed a heat to coil within the depths of your lower abdomen.

"Are you alright?" His voice brought you out of your thoughts. You felt flushed.

"H-huh?" You felt dumbstruck, all because of him. He exhaled through his nose sharply, clearly dissatisfied with your response.

"You're distracted."

Oh. Of course he could pick up on it. You shifted in your seat, subtly rubbing your plump thighs together.

"I'm okay, I guess I've not had enough to drink today though. I'll get some water when we head back to the station." Not a lie, technically. You'd forgotten your bottle of water you normally had ready to fill up to take on cases. Hotch hummed, the sound deep and making you clench between your thighs.

"I did notice you didn't have your water like you usually do. I should have said something." He said. Wait, he noticed? You didn't think he picked up on things about you, he didn't often appear to pay attention to you besides on a strictly professional level. But as you turned your head to him in surprise his brows were furrowed in frustration, as though annoyed with himself for not saying anything.

"Oh no, it's fine. I've been a bit of a scatterbrain as of late." You admitted sheepishly, a little smile on your lips. Hotch glanced at you, eyes flicking down to your lips, then back to your eyes, making your breath hitch.

"Anything I can do to help?"

You bit your lip, your mind flooded with a whole array of thoughts that you knew you shouldn't be having about your boss. He didn't know he was the reason you were so distracted, desperate to feel his lips on yours, on your body and his hands on your skin, his fingers inside you. Fuck. You needed to get it together, for goodness' sake. You quickly glanced back towards the road.

"Ah, no. I'm okay, sir. I'll sort myself out." You murmured, missing the way his knuckles whitened under the pressure of his grip on the wheel.

"Don't hesitate to come to me if you need anything."

You tried not to think of what you wanted him to do to you, instead humming in response.

"Thank you, sir."

You needed to get out of this damn car as soon as possible.

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Immediately upon returning to the station you rushed off to find a vending machine so you could grab a bottle of water. As soon as you had your hands on the cold, plastic bottle you were gulping down the cool liquid, not realising just how flushed you felt.

"Whoa, slow down there, (L/n)!" You heard JJ's voice from behind you and you turned, pulling the bottle from your mouth wide-eyed. The blonde woman looked slightly alarmed. "Are you okay?"

You nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I just forgot to bring water so I kinda got a bit dehydrated I think." You explain quickly. JJ frowned a little.

"You'd better be careful next time. And don't drink too quickly, you could accidentally choke."

You smiled sheepishly under her scolding and screwed the lid back on.

"Sorry, I'll drink slower."

JJ led you back to the office where you found the familiar sight of Spencer pouring over a map of the area. Pieces of string had been wrapped around pins indicating the last locations victims were seen and the scenes of their murders, no clear pattern in sight as there sometimes was. On one of the tables lay several empty paper coffee cups, a few rings of spilled coffee staining the surface top. He was speaking quietly to another member of the team, David Rossi, and Hotch; of whom stood beside the young Doctor with his arms folded across his chest, inevitably tightening the suit over his physique. You forced yourself to focus on the map.

Not long after your arrival you heard two sets of footsteps trudge into the room.

"No employees or frequent customers that are of note. We have nothing." Derek huffed as he made his way over to one of the chairs and slumped down into it. Emily joined you and JJ, her face appeared neutral but you could tell there was a hint of annoyance behind it. You heaved a deep sigh and felt eyes on you which made you instinctively seek out who it was, only to be startled when your eyes met deep brown ones, almost black in the artificial lighting. Hotch didn't look away, instead holding your gaze until you quickly turned away, feeling embarrassed.

"There has to be something that connects them all." Rossi said. Your eyes drifted across the map, narrowing a little. There had to be a mutual place that all these couples had been to in the final week leading up to their deaths. Somewhere that couples who enjoy sexual relations more than the average couple would go. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and quickly scrolled through your contacts until you found the one you were looking for. As you pressed dial you put the call on loudspeaker it merely rang once before there was an answer.

"Hello, you've reached the hotline for the simply fantabulous Penelope Garcia; how may I assist you?" A bubbly voice filtered through. All eyes were on the phone as you placed it on the table in front of you.

"Hiya, babe, I have a request for you. We're trying to find a link between the couples but so far nothing has cropped up. But I have a theory," you spoke, feeling a little awkward at what you were about to say. "Uhm, do you think you could try search for any strip clubs or even straight up sex clubs in the area? Easily accessible or possibly a more hidden club?"

You could feel his eyes on you again but you tried hard to stare at the phone. Garcia gasped from the other end of the line, but the sound of nails on a keyboard reassured you she was already on the case. Beside you, you felt Emily poke you and you lightly shoved her with your wide hip.

"Oh wow, I did not think I would be looking at this sort of thing today. But lucky you, I have a whole list of places! I-" there was clicking, followed by another gasp. "Oh my! That is certainly a homepage! You have no idea about the things I'm seeing right now, well, I mean I'll be sending these to you anyway but gosh! I'm going to do a thorough clean of my history once this case-"

"-Garcia, focus." Hotch said firmly and you heard a quick apology from the other end of the line. He moved to lean over the table, propping himself up with his hands as he took charge of the phone call. "We need security footage from these locations. Whatever you can give us, we'll take it."

More clacking of nails, you tried not to stare at your boss as he leered over your phone, forcing yourself to look away from his straining suit, the dangling tie, his large hands. Horrifically, you instead met eyes with the oldest of the group, Rossi, who had clearly caught you ogling Hotch from the glint in his experienced eyes and the twitch at the corner of his mouth. Shit. You could only hope no one else had witnessed your blatancy. Thankfully, Garcia's voice came through again.

"I'm sending over whatever footage I can find as well as the addresses to the establishments now."

You reached across the table, hyper aware of how close you were to Hotch as you took hold of your phone. He studied you carefully when you hurried backwards, swallowing thickly. You cleared your throat.

"Thanks, babe, you're a star." You said.

"Well of course, I'm your star." Garcia responded cheerily and the line went dead. Hotch straightened up and pulled his suit back into place, turning to address everyone.

"We need to review the footage and find out which location all the victims visited at some point within the last few weeks, then we can make a plan of action." He was stern as he spoke, hands in his pockets and his shoulders squared. There was a mutual noise of agreement from everyone and you all split into smaller groups around the monitors in the room. Hotch disappeared off to find the chief of police and you couldn't help but let your eyes follow him as he rushed out of the room, eyes transfixed on the tight fabric of his dress pants.

"Girl, you aren't even hiding it." You heard Derek say and you huffed, walking over to Spencer and sitting down next to him. He offered you an awkward smile and shuffled his chair to the side so you could get closer to the computer he was working on.

"Shut up, Derek." You muttered and he chuckled.

"I'm just saying, you should probably talk to him."

Your eyes widened in horror.

"Excuse me?"

Spencer cleared his throat.

"I agree, It's a bit obvious that he's interested in you too." He said softly and you huffed, shuffling your chair closer to the table and leaning towards the computer screen.

"Stop saying ridiculous things like that, both of you. We have work to do anyway."

Derek stepped back with his hands raised in surrender before retreating back to the computer he was situated at whilst Spencer simply watched you carefully, frowning a little.

It was dangerous for you to even dare think of such things. There were so many reasons why you couldn't let your mind go there. If not for the ethical reason due to his and your job statuses, then maybe because he was much older than you with a son. But also you'd seen photos of his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend and you certainly didn't look like his type. Not slender, not sleek like they were. You didn't think he was a shallow man but you'd also dealt with disappointment after disappointment with how others had treated you based on your appearance. You had to keep yourself safe, so your attraction for your boss would remain nothing more than a secret from him. You sighed softly as the young man beside you clicked on the first video footage from one of the private sex clubs. There was no more time to waste.

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The following few hours were downright miserable, viewing video, after video of footage from various clubs until you felt as though your eyes and your brain would melt out of your head. Finally, however, Emily made a noise of alarm, mouth full of cheap coffee, and alerted everyone to her computer. Swallowing the burning, bitter liquid, she retracted the footage a little and replayed it.

"Look, It's the Smiths! The first couple to be murdered. They came in to this very exclusive private sex club at the end of last month." She said hurriedly. In the slightly fuzzy camera quality indeed the couple waltzed into the lobby of the facility and approached the reception desk.

"Fast forward the feed." You heard Hotch say, causing goosebumps to bristle across your skin. You knew he had returned at some point but didn't expect him to stand right beside you. Someone made a call to Garcia and she confirmed with her database that it was indeed the couple. Further analysis of the footage from days afterwards showed that every single of the other couples had also been to this sex club too shortly before they were murdered. And yet they had no indication still of who was the murderer.

The day was drawing in at this point but as a final task before anyone would return to the hotel, Hotch sent out Morgan and Prentiss to the club to ask some questions, something that you couldn't help but chuckle at. The raven haired woman narrowed her eyes slightly at you.

"Laugh all you want but I'd be careful if I were you." She warned but you simply smirked.

"Don't have too much fun now, you two." You said cheerily, Morgan raised a brow at you and then the two were off begrudgingly. You felt JJ sidle up beside you.

"You know she will get you back." She murmured and you shrugged.

"She doesn't scare me."

"She scares me a little." Spencer said aloud, causing the two of you to turn your heads in his direction. He flushed, ducking his head slightly. "I- uh, well you know how she is."

"I wouldn't think you were intimidated by her, Spence, I mean you're the one who won the prank war with Morgan." JJ said, chuckling. A small smile tugged at his mouth.

"I wouldn't cross Emily, though."

You hummed and pushed up out of your chair.

"Well anyway, either of you want a hot drink?" You offered. JJ smiled.

"Oh no, thank you." As Spencer opened his mouth to respond she lifted a finger up at him. "Ah- you definitely don't need anymore coffee at this time of day."

A quiet giggle passed your lips and you turned to head to the kitchenette of the station.

"I'm not getting involved."

Walking out of the office you crossed the police department, avoiding any officers who still remained within the building, and came to a pause in the entryway of the kitchen, dipping away from the doorway out of sight. The two oldest members of the team were in a deep conversation, Hotch with his back to the door and Rossi facing the direction you were in. They spoke quietly, you knew you shouldn't listen in and yet you couldn't help it.

"Stop being absurd. What makes you think I'd even consider doing that?" Hotch hissed, his voice barely audible from where you were.

"Come on, Aaron, you can't keep this going forever. You know that." Rossi countered. There were more words said but were too quiet for you to decipher. That was until Hotch spoke a little louder again, sounding more frustrated.

"I am not currently wishing to be involved with anyone like that, Dave. I just can't."

In an instant you felt your heart in your throat, your eyes stinging.

Oh.

You felt stupid. Of course he wasn't interested in dating anyone. Even despite closely guarding your feelings for Hotch to be nothing further than a personal crush that he would never find out about it still hurt knowing you never had a chance to begin with.

Walking a few steps away from the kitchen, you made a point of entering the kitchen area, feigning surprise as your eyes landed on the two men in the room. Clearly, your entrance startled them, particularly him, who looked a little guilty before the slight expression glossed over with stern stoicism. Hotch glanced away, turning to Rossi.

"I'll see you at the hotel." He muttered and then he was brushing past you, his hand grazing your arm slightly and his scent consuming your senses. And then he was gone, all that remained was the slight coolness of his absence. You swallowed thickly but tried to mask your emotions from the seasoned agent still remaining.

"Coffee? There's some left still, maybe enough for one last cup." Rossi said softly. You smiled slightly as you approached him but shook your head.

"Ah no, thank you. I'm going to have tea. It's way too late for coffee, don't you think?"

The man hummed, watching you carefully. You suspected he had seen you earlier, that you'd heard the conversation but you didn't feel like talking about it.

"I hope you know that if you ever need someone to lend an ear that I'm always willing to listen."

Your hands faltered slightly during sorting out putting a tea bag in a clean mug. Your eyes flicked to the side at Rossi briefly.

"I know that."

"I know you heard what you think you heard but-"

"-Let's not- We aren't talking about this." You cut him off shakily, stopping yourself before you poured the hot water into the mug. "There's nothing to say about it."

You turned away from the kitchen counter to lean against it, rubbing your tired eyes with your palms. Rossi sighed quietly.

"You didn't catch the whole conversation." He tried after a moment. You scoffed.

"It wasn't for me to hear. I only did so by accident. I'm not going to read into it because the only people who were meant to hear what was discussed was you and-" Your throat felt tighter still, an unseen coil constricting you, just as the man you longed for constricted your heart and soul. You didn't say his name, couldn't. Mercifully, the man before you understood.

"I know."

You nodded. The mug of tea wasn't appealing anymore; the quiet promise of solitude in a hotel room called to you more than all else.

"I.... I think I need to call it a night. I don't feel well."

Rossi placed a hand on your upper arm and squeezed lightly.

"I'll inform the others and grab your stuff then I'll drive you to the hotel we're staying in," he fished out the keys to one of the SUVs and handed them to you, the metal clinking together. "Go, wait in the car for me." He said. The corners of your mouth tilted upwards in appreciation and you hurried out, eager to have even a moment to yourself.

The moment you pushed the doors of the building open and stepped outside you exhaled, grimacing slightly at the still, warm air of the night. You'd hoped it would have cooled down more, now that the sun had long since settled behind the horizon, but you felt stifled, the heat doing nothing to soothe the tightness in your throat and chest. Breathing shakily, you unlocked the car and climbed into the passenger seat, laying your head back against the head rest.

There was no reason for you to feel so upset about this. It wasn't as though you intended on ever approaching your boss about your ever growing feelings for him, you wouldn't dare do that. And yet you felt almost physically sick from heartbreak and the worst part was he didn't even know the pain you were in. Hell, you didn't even know where he was right now after he rushed out of the kitchen.

You knew the moment Rossi obviously had retrieved your belongings judging the way your phone had begun to vibrate from text notifications, no doubt from your coworkers. You'd answer them when you made it to the hotel, you decided. A few minutes later you spotted the older man exit the station and approach the car you were in, your bag and coat in hand. The sight made you smile even the tiniest bit, something that he noticed. You felt the car jolt a little as he opened the trunk so he could put your belongings down and jolt again when he slammed it lightly. A second later he was climbing in on the driver's side where you held out the car keys to him.

"Thanks." He took the keys and inserted them into the ignition, the engine roaring to life and you slipped your seatbelt on. Rossi glanced at you. "Let's get you to the hotel. Best thing about this is if there aren't enough rooms for one each you can have first pick on if you want the single or not." He said as you pulled out the station parking lot. You scoffed.

"Oh you know I'm absolutely taking the single this time." You retorted. In any other scenario you would have risked sharing a room, risk being paired with him. Now the thought made you want to cry. Your little smile faded and you turned your head to the window, resting on the cool glass. Sensing you were finished talking, Rossi didn't say anything else for the remainder of the drive.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

A little groan escaped your lips when you collapsed backwards on the single bed in your hotel room, exhaustion overrunning your very being from the long day. For a moment you simply lay there silently, staring at the dulled white ceiling whilst your mind raced. You knew this wasn't ideal, you couldn't let yourself be distracted from the case.

Huffing, you remembered that you needed to respond to messages to let the others know you would be alright by the morning. After pulling your phone out of your pocket, the screen lit up and your eyes flicked across the notifications on the lock screen. Lots of messages from your worried coworkers. You unlocked the phone and set about answering them one-by-one. JJ and Emily offered to stop by your hotel room to check in on you, not knowing you'd been feeling unwell up until this point, but you reassured them you would be okay.

Just as you finished your nightly routine and pulled the covers back, there was a knock on your door. Your brows furrowed slightly. Who would be knocking at this time? Sighing, you approached the door and leaned close to the peephole, expecting to see one of the ladies or maybe even Rossi.

Standing tensely with his shoulders squared was Aaron Hotchner. A quiet gasp escaped you and you jolted backwards from the door. What the fuck was he doing here?! With shaky hands, you pulled the door open and slightly covered yourself with it, hyper aware of your clothing situation. Hotch perked up and stared down at you.

"Rossi informed me that you weren't feeling well and had to retire early." He murmured gently, his face stern. You swallowed and silently invited him into your room by stepping back, pulling the door with you. He cautiously walked into your hotel room and you closed the door behind him, wrapping your arms around yourself in a feeble attempt to cover your body up. Why, oh why did you have to wear shorts that barely covered your ass and an old tee that wasn't as baggy anymore from being washed one too many times?

You cleared your throat and avoided looking in Hotch's direction.

"He's right. But I'm sure I'll feel better by tomorrow though."

You offered a little smile, eyes flicking to his face and realised he was staring. Except he wasn't staring at your face, no, his eyes were focused lower down at your chest. Christ. You quickly looked away again before he realised you'd caught him out and he hummed, the sound making you clench.

"What's wrong?"

Oh no. You couldn't answer that. Your eyes met his and you opened your mouth, hesitating with no response to give.

"I.... Just felt sick, that's all. I'll be okay though."

You never were good at hiding how you were really feeling, the deepening frown on the man's face before you merely evident of this.

"Are you certain? You can tell me anything, you know that." He said softly as he stepped closer to you. You nodded and tried smiling again at him.

"I know, sir. I promise I'm alright though." You tightened your arms around yourself until your flesh dipped under the pressure of your fingertips. Hotch's eyes trailed over you from head to toe, clearly unsatisfied with your reluctance to tell him the truth, but didn't push the matter further. You inhaled as he stepped closer still, his scent once more overwhelming you. His fingers flexed at his side as though he was conflicted and you wished he would reach out and touch you. Eventually, he sighed quietly and retreated a step.

"Alright. But I will be keeping an eye on you now."

Not good. You nodded though, then yawned and your cheeks flushed with warmth. Despite the tension, a small smile tugged at Hotch's mouth.

"You should get some rest." He said. You chuckled.

"Yeah, you as well though. I know what you're like."

He raised a brow at you.

"Really now?"

Your eyes widened and you stuttered.

"W-well I'm just saying, you do leave the office last, you're up earlier than everyone else too-" you cut yourself off, not wanting to dig your hole any deeper. You dared a quick glance his way and he was still slightly smirking.

"Get some rest, your boss is going to be up early again tomorrow to call everyone in."

A little chuckle escaped you and you followed Hotch to the door, grabbing the door as he opened it and hiding behind it again as you watched him make his way out into the corridor. He turned back to you and gazed down at you again.

"Good night, (L/n)." He murmured. Your eyes met and you gripped onto the door.

"Good night, sir."

He shifted, as though debating something in his head, then he turned and stalked down the corridor. You didn't close your door until he disappeared from sight. When you returned to your bed you collapsed down onto it whilst your mind raced. That night your dreams were filled with forbidden touches and kisses from the man you loved.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

And that's part one for now pls lemme know what you think and if anyone wants to be tagged in future works! Thank you for reading 💖💖

[bvbygrl-writes]

Wash Day (Johnnie Guilbert x Black!Reader)

A/N: I had a dream about this last night so I gotta write it even though this probably will not resonate with a lot of people, idk how much of Johnnie's fanbase is black but if I exist there's gotta be more of us!

Word Count: 1.3k

It was that dreaded day that almost every black girl hated, Wash Day, and (Y/n) was no exception. People thought because she had locs that that made wash day less of a stressful problem due to the frequency she had to wash her hair. And why yes, locs were convenient for day to day life as all she had to do was mist her shit and go, wash day was not any less stressful for her. 

After years of growing out her hair and keeping it natural, she had finally taken the steps to loc it and from the beginning, she had been the one in charge of her loc journey. She started them herself, dyed them herself, and did every retwist and style by herself (along with help from youtube of course). But she was tired and what do you do when you’re tired? Get your man to do it for you! Walking down the hallway, her freshly washed hair tossed up into an old and raggedy t-shirt, she busted through the bedroom door. 

Johnnie was used to her antics at this point, barely budging from his spot on the bed. His blue eyes peered up to look at her, eyes focusing on the t-shirt on the top of her head. “Ran out of towels?” he asked, confused. (Y/n) rolled her eyes at him, walking over to the drawer (that was formerly for Johnnie’s t-shirts) and started to pull out all the products she needed for her hair. Metal clips, gel, ponytail holders, that ratty black comb for her roots, spray bottle with the combination of oils and conditions that worked for her hair, and oil for her scalp.

“Cotton shirts are better for your hair. You should probably switch to them too since white men tend to bald prematurely.” she quipped, peeking over her shoulder to smile at him. He laughed at her sass, shaking his head as he kicked his legs over to the side of the bed to face her. “You busy?”

“Not necessarily, I already filmed and edited my video for tomorrow. Why?” she hummed at his response, pondering for a moment before dropping all the hair on the bed next to him. Dropping the towel from her body and ignoring the feeling of the long stare on her backside, she grabbed one of Johnnie’s shirts and a pair of gray gym shorts. It didn’t matter to either of them that his shirts clung to her body, leaving little to the imagination, spots of the already dark shirt growing a bit darker from her wet skin.

“If I teach you how to do my hair, will you do it for me?” she asked, removing the soaked shirt from her head and tossing it into a random corner of the room. Johnnie froze, body stiffening up a bit. He had years and years of doing his own hair, dying it and cutting it since he was 13. Hell, he had even helped some of his friends with their own but never had he done anything with hair of (Y/n)’s texture, let alone locs. From what she had told him, locs could handle a lot but they can also be quite tedious and in some cases even be more fragile.And she had lovely ones, they were healthy, shiny, and reached just beyond her shoulders. He had watched his girlfriend style her locs into intricate styles, the hours it’d take her, and how tired she’d be afterwards.She never let anyone do it but herself, saying she didn’t trust anyone to not ‘mess her shit up’.  What if he- “You’re not going to fuck it up, don’t worry. Imma walk you through it all, okay?” she said, stroking his cheek gently, the tip of her acrylic thumbnail lightly dragging across his cheek.

“Babe, I don’t know…”

“Pleaseee? Pleaseee? PLEASEEE?”

He sighed, walking behind the chair she had pulled in front of the bed, patting the headrest. “Fine, fine. Only if I can control the music.”

(Y/n) had taken 2ponytail holders, sectioning off the middle and front of her head, leaving the back down. “Okay, you see how my roots are kind of stuck together almost? What Imma need you to do first is gently pull them apart so we can have clean parts.” she instructed, demonstrating herself. Although she couldn’t see his face, she could tell by his silence that he was watching her intensely. 

And she was right, with his lip pulled between his teeth, he watched the movements of her skilled hands. He nervously lifted his hands to the back of her head, grabbing two locs like he had seen her do. “Like this?” he asked, pulling a lot softer than she had instructed. She giggled some, leaning her head back to look at him.

“You gone have to pull it a bit harder than that, baby. You’re not gonna hurt me. Trust me, I’ll let you know if you were.” she reassured, readjusting her head. He nodded at her words, pulling and massaging at the connected roots, celebrating silently as the parts formed a clean line. “There ya go! Now, take some of that gel, and put it around the base of the loc and a little on the root. We do that so the retwist will hold and help the roots loc but also so it’ll be neat.” she said, demonstrating what to do. “Then, you’re gonna take the comb and run it through the root a little bit, use the edge to smooth it out, and then roll it in your hands like this.” he made a small noise of amazement as her hands rolled the loc between her palms. He knew she put a lot of work into her hair, but never did he realize exactly how much was going into it. That explains all the times he’d find her passed out on the couch, products scattered all along the floor and table. 

“I never realized how much you had to do. I wish you would’ve told me sooner. I would’ve loved to help you out.” he said softly. Her heart soared at his words.

“It’s okay. This is only one row out of a shit ton more so let’s get through this!”

The sun had begun to set as they got to the front of (Y/n)’s head.Johnnie’s nerves had gone down a lot with (Y/n)’s constant encouragement and all of her jokes and by the time he got to the last row of the back, he felt like he was a pro!  All the metal clips jingled as she turned the chair to face him, figuring it’d be better that way for him to get the front done. (Y/n) watched her lover’s face, a soft smile on her own at how focused he was. His tongue stuck out the side of his mouth as he misted her hair. Leaning forward, she softly planted a kiss on his lips which he gladly reciprocated. It was short and sweet, full of appreciation for him helping her out. “Thank you, Johnnie.” she said softly.

“It was my pleasure, really. I’m glad you trust me enough to help you out. Plus, I’m a high school drop out. I’ll need another career option after Youtube dies.” he joked, causing them both to laugh at the thought of him as an emo loctician. “Annnd I’m done. What’do you think?” he asked.

Standing up, (Y/n) stretched, groaning as her body snapped, crackled, and popped from how long she had been sitting. Turning around, she looked in the mirror gasping a happy smile taking over her face. Johnnie had done an amazing job despite never doing anything of the sort. He watched happily as his girlfriend twirled around, admiring his work from all the different angles. The clips were still on, but you could still see from the preview that it was going to look great when it dried. Lunging forward, she threw herself into his arms, causing him to fall backward onto the bed. He made an ‘oof’ but reciprocated, wrapping his pale arms around her, burying his face in her neck, heart racing at the scent of shea butter and vanilla.

“You did so good!”

“Put your bonnet on before you mess it up!”

[rzyraffek]

You did a request on fainting in front of Brahms, so how would the Sinclair Brothers react to reader fainting? Thank you! Y’all have a good one! :3

Yay! My writing spirit came back! So now imma spam you all with fanfics!! I also wrote a bit more that JUST Sinclair bros

They/them, sfw, Request Open

Slashers with s/o that faints

Bo sinclair

Will immediately pick them up, check for any damage.

Will be stressed af, and get so protective i swear

Will overthink it, he kinda has anger issues so he might think he did something that casued it??? Idk

When s/o wakes up he gonna be so realived. They really gave him a scare

Will ask if anyone hurt them? Or is it like normal for them

Overall 7/10 probably died 5times while waiting for you to wake up

Vincent Sinclair

Tralala vibing with my love lala HU- WHY ARE THRT ON FLOOR??? UHH BO? BO! S/O IS IN FLOOR

Will knee and check breathing and heart beat. Of thank god at least they are alive

With bo's help carried them to bed room and he didnt leave their side! Holding their hand whole time

When they wake up he gonna shower them with kisses and hugs!!! Yay so you are alive!!! Yay!!

Will lay in bed with them, moving his legs in air while s/o turns into Wiki page and tells him all sympptoms, what to do ect

Overall 8/10 live laugh love Vincent

Lester Sinclair

S/o got to tell this man about their 'fainting problem' before it happends

Bcs this dude might cry, or have mental break down

Especially if it happend when yall where in Forest, AWAY FROM ANYONE THAT COULD HELP OR COMFORT

S/o probavly gonna wake up in middle of car ride home and this guy will be so relived

Guy will acually take notes of stuff he needs to know about their fainting problem, so in case he panics next time he has everything written down

Overall 9/10 boy is doing his best

Jason Voorhees

P.A.N.I.C

Immediately picks them up, so so worried, will check their heartbeat by putting his ear on their chest

Lays them down on the most comfy bed he could find in this god forsaken camp

Sits down next to it (probably in chair or if there's non he will just sit on ground)

When they wake up he will be so so happy but also so so puzzled? Did you ate something bad? Were you too hot? Too tired? Too worried? What happened! Tell him

You gotta to tell him step by step how to react, how to notice that s/o will faint and what to do afterwards

Man will be on full alert after every time they pass out. Like this guy will lay them gently down, put water bottle right next to them so it's close and litteraly stab anyone in 100meter radius (boi gets protective)

Overall 8/10 good care taker

Myers Micheal

... okay? So your sleeping now??? Weird

Nah but fr he was in ASYLUM for FEW years, he probably saw plenty of people who pass out, due to stress, emotions, self destructive stuff ect ect

So he knows what to do and how to do. But he simply doesn't want to lol

Hes sure that you will be fine. He will just make sure that you didht break anything or that you are laying in position that makes you able to breath of course

S/o gonna wake up with muscle pain and headache :(

Gonna tell micheal that. No babe you arent edgy, you are just an asshole

Next time he gonna sigh loudly and put s/o back to bed. Only because they gonna be mad at him afterwards.. its not that he cares! Pfff micheal? He totally doesn't care pfff

Overall 4/10 will judge the position you passed out in

Billy lenz

Will sit on their chest, litteraly he gonna choke them frfr. But he didnt mean to so it doesnt count!

Will talk to them while they are passed out

Will drag them to couch because no way in hell hes going to drag them all way upstairs

Will get bored and lonley >:(

When s/o wakes up they have to explain to him that, no s/o wasn't sleeping, they were timed out of life

Gonna bring them glas of water

Gonna look at them with his goblin eyes,and be like 'sooo can we play uno now?' 'Honey I see everything doubled now 'okay... so can we play uno now'

Next time they pass out he is gonna put them in so many blankets they turn into burrito (not only in looks but also its probably extremely hot)

Overall 6/10 would rather play uno

Asa emory

"Ooh honey..." picks them up✅, carries to bed✅, puts in right position✅, grabs water and mess from kitchen✅

He is so ✅✅✅

Will ask them about how they feel, do they need to puke? Maybe stronger meds? Are you cold? Or maybe too hot?

But he isn't very 'in your face' with all those questions, he asks them just like doctor would, with absolute no emotion or huge facial reactions. He knows it might be stressful or overwhelming

Will give space if needed

He also made sure to reread books and articles about people who pass out randomly to make sure to read theirs body language

Dont worry little butterfly you can rest now

Overall 10/10 but made you watch his beatle collections while you couldn't leave bed

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday evening all :) Ewww an Ashley episode. Such a bummer after the last episode haha Not a ton of Chenford content but what we do get is good. There is a case involved but they're not in it enough to analyze anything. Oh also this ep is the intro of Chris so double eww. This episode is just one giant display of why Ashley and Chris aren't meant for either of them. But we knew that already didn't we? Let’s get started eh?

4x10 Heart Beat

Start our episode off with why Ashley isn’t right for Tim. Hit the ground running and the reasons are plentiful. First off Tim doesn’t even think to make Ashley anything. This is all for Kojo. Which I friggin love btw. The animal lover in me adores how spoiled Kojo is. Also imma need some more of this pup in S6. You hear me writers? I need this dog back. Ashley says she’s not a breakfast person but still the least romantic morning ever. They are very early in their dating period and its pretty tame. The way he moves around her. No intimacy at all. Avoiding her as he makes his way over to Kojo’s bowl.

Shows more affection towards his dog than her haha It’s the complete opposite of Tim and Lucy in 5x20. Where there is zero space, lots of touching, flirting and food to be had. Can't keep their hands off each other. The blahness that is Ashley is prominent in this opening scene. Also her judgy tone when she mentions that’s what he gets? If I was dating a man who took that good of care of his dog? I would be a goner. But this is Ashley so….

She is far too vapid for Tim. I looked up the definition of that word to reinforce my point. “Offering nothing that is stimulating or challenging.” If that isn’t the definition of their relationship and her as a character idk what is. Tim has found the very opposite from Lucy in Ashley. She is blah, doesn’t challenge him in any way and definitely doesn’t stimulate him whatsoever. All things he gets from Lucy. Interesting...Almost like he shouldn't be dating her....

She continues down her ‘Why she is wrong for Tim path' When she is afraid/doesn’t like Kojo. I already didn’t like her but this didn’t help her case. If I was dating someone and they didn’t like my dog?Goodbye sir. Twas fun while it lasted LOL Maybe it’s the protective dog person in me but I can not stand her first thought being ‘dangerous’ with Kojo. Just because he didn’t like her at first. Tim telling her he took him in cause Lucy couldn’t keep him.

He tries to help her adjust to him but she isn't about it. Just wants to leave. To me if my dog doesn’t like you that is far more telling than anything else IMO. Dogs have a good sense of people so this would’ve been telling to me as a dog owner. Ashley was already on my 'I don’t like you list.' But the not liking Kojo part plummets her to the very bottom…Also watching Tim with Kojo is ovary explosion for me. Way he pets him and loves on him. My heart. That's his kid.

We join our couple in their shop. Lucy asks how it’s going with Ashley? Tim says good but there was some weirdness this morning. Tim mentions he thinks she doesn’t like Kojo. Lucy’s reaction cracks me up. She could not be more telling when she says 'So you broke up with her? Thats too bad….I liked her…’ 'Lying liar. You know she was hoping he did. We all want that.

The way he loves that dog it actually would make sense. To Lucy as well her not liking Kojo is another strike against her anyways. It’s a valid response to anyone who is a pet owner really. Unfortunately we are stuck with her for a long while. Bleh. My dislike for her is very strong. Because she is everything he doesn’t need or want.

Tim says since when? Knowing she has never liked her. That Lucy had been giving him crap cause she’s a lifeguard ha I mean I can't say I blame her. I would too. Her sarcasm continuing with her reply. Fairly certain none of us considered it a career until Ashley came into the picture. Tim defends the training she had to go through. That it was rigorous training at the fire academy. Trying to make her job sound more prestigious than it is in just the name alone. Lucy doesn’t press it further and says my bad with a smile even though I think she is still secretly judging her LOL

Lucy has such a dog-mom moment here. I love it so very much. As she states his full name above LOL I bet you she has supplied that boy with many chew toys he’s destroyed. Makes me happy to think of Lucy going over to Tim's just to deliver treats and toys for their shared fur-child. Seriously going to need some couple moments with him in S6. It's a crime we haven't gotten them yet.

Lucy's transparency continues when she tells Tim 'Clearly Ashley has to go.' If only it was that easy. Saying it’s a moot point if she doesn’t like Kojo. Now anyone can see she isn’t right for him. The person who knows him the best? Can see it from a mile away the multiple reasons Ashley isn’t right for Tim. So might as well cut this off right now in her opinion. The look they share haha Even when talking about his relationship they are flirty af. So married in their disposition with one another. I love it. Also he's not really disagreeing with her...

Lucy ends up getting a phone call and it’s Ashley… She is confused but intrigued by this phone call. Idk how the hell she got her number. LOL Now you know Lucy is in love with Tim when she gives such solid advice to Ashley. It’s the way she talks about Kojo being like Tim. Girl is so gone for him. Something she continually tries to suppress this entire season. Like she is warding it off really.

Ashley tells her she likes Tim but she’s scared of his dog. Asking why she gave him away? Asking if he was too aggressive? Ugh I hate her animal ignorance so much. Maybe it’s because been I've been in dog world for over a decade but I cannot stand her going right to ‘aggressive.’ Lucy defends her boy says 'No! Not at all. He just wasn’t meant for her living situation.'

Lucy asks if she doesn’t like dogs? Secretly hoping she says yes heh Ashley tells she had a bad experience once. Lucy empathizes and says she gets it. Goes on to say Kojo is the sweetest guy. It’s here we see her switch over to gushing about Tim. It’s the way she’s looking at Tim in Grey’s office that gets me. As she explains how Kojo is just like Tim. Careful Lucy your feelings are showing.

He’s big, gruff, and a whole lot of bark but underneath is a sweetheart. I mean Tim is for HER. Let’s get that clear first. Tim is only soft for Lucy. I adore her helping out in this situation though. She didn't have to but it's Lucy. If Ashley could see how she was looking at Tim. She might feel a little threatened. Not only that but her deep knowledge of Tim. Might catch on she’s just the littlest bit in love with him lol But then 4x12 happens later on so.... How she didn’t break up with Tim after that display idk. So maybe she wouldn’t put 2 and 2 together.

I'm giving her too much credit haha Lucy speaks from a place of love about him. She probably has no idea how she is coming off but it's so obvious. Clearly not talking about Kojo in that tone. She loves that good boy but loves his owner more. Lucy tells her to talk to Tim about it. Ashley replies no that she’s not going to make him pick between her or his dog. That there is a whole genre of country songs about that. Before Lucy can defend Tim more or why she should Ashley cuts the convo off and says good night. Awkward…

It’s then we meet friggin Chris Sanford. *glares* The epitome of meh. Earlier in the ep they arrested young boy dealing drugs. He is one of James’s newest mentees. Lucy being the empathetic soul she is cites him out on a lower charge. That way he gets a fighting chance with James to turn his life around. Just has to attend his court date and such. Very kind thing of her to do for this young man.

He comes in like a mega douche. Instant dislike for his character for how he comes at Lucy. Trying to shame her for citing him out like she did. Calling her naive and basically being an absolute asshat. Lucy CRUSHES him in her reply above. I dislike Chris so very much so this was glorious to watch. Tim Bradford doesn’t stand a chance most days against her. You think your puny ass with 4 months of experience had a chance of winning that argument? What a putz…

Lucy catches Tim in the parking garage before he leaves. Ah this glorious place where all our wonderful moments occur. Lucy tells him it was Ashley who called her earlier. Gotta love how open she is with Tim always. As usual Lucy is toeing the line of personal boundaries with him. Possibly overstepping by bringing this up. But that’s kind of their thing.

Also like to note how telling it is that Ashley felt more comfortable coming to Lucy and not her BF about this. That she didn’t think he would listen to her but Lucy would. Because well she did. Lucy does get the other side of the story with Kojo. That is not a dislike but bad experience on her end. Which to be fair is valid when you’ve had a bad experience with a dog. Now that being said I still dislike so very much.

What I’m trying to get at here is Lucy interpreted this as Tim not fulling listening to Ashley’s concern. It’s not surprising Tim gets a little hard headed about things. Especially things he loves. So he’s instantly defensive about said things. I’m the same way. Lucy knows this about him. Which is why they’re having this conversation. So she can bring his attention to it in way only she can. Because Tim actually listens to Lucy. This scene really is more about their bond than his issue with Ashley. How Lucy is the only one who can ever get through to Tim. Her super power really.

He doesn’t listen to anyone the way he listens to Lucy. Especially when she is doling out advice for him. This is a kindness she is doing for him. Letting him know one his GF called her and two the reason behind it. That she is scared and he needs to listen to her about it. Tim shrugs it off like it’s nothing. Which you can see Lucy is a little taken aback with. How instantly shut off he is to this conversation. But like i said earlier he is defensive about things he loves. He LOVES that dog.

This is their dance with advice he is defensive or dismissive at first. Then it sinks in and he truly listens to what she is telling him. She may not like Ashley. (None of us do..) But she would be remiss not to share her opinion on this with him. Tim instead of thanking her for the advice deflects. Because well Tim. Asking why she is so invested in his love life? Asking with a little smile some sass in that question of his. Also gauging what her reaction will be. He is truly curious.

It is interesting how his love life is the only one she intercedes in. Not Nolan or any of his. She didn’t with Jackson for either of his love interests. Just Tim. Because that shows the level of importance this man has gained in her life. Saw some parallels to this moment and 2x03. When she was trying to pair Tim up with Rachel. How Lucy once again is involved in his love life. It’s true that she just wants him to be happy.

Also Tim’s interest in why she is interested in his love life is far different than 2x03. He didn’t question it then. Just thought it was apart of their bet. In S4 he is a lot more aware. Like I said in the last review their bond and their awareness of each other is far stronger than it was in S2. He is so genuinely curious why she is so invested in it?

They’ve had a lot of intimate moments and work flirts since 4x01. Tim can feel the shift that has happened between them. So it makes him curious why she is helping him like she is? Lucy does some deflecting of her own for his question. Saying she doesn’t want to drive around on patrol while he is moping around about this girl. He is so offended by her saying this it's so funny. That if he likes this girl he should listen to her. It’s funny all the things she’s telling him to do with Ashley he naturally does with her. Funny old world lol

Tim’s reply back cracks me up. Saying when has he ever moped? That he doesn’t even know how to. Oh but you do my love. You perfect it in S5. While you pine for her while she is still with Chris the putz. But ok sure you don’t know how. His eye roll is so damn funny Eric always crushes it when he does this. Her little Mmhmm as she walks away smirking. Has this man wrapped around her finger. She drives him insane and Tim absolutely loves it.

Tim follows through on Lucy’s advice and listens to Ashley’s fears. Really Lucy extended this relationship when it was destined to fail. But she cares so much about Tim and his happiness she gave him solid advice. This bit made me chuckle. Saying Kojo needs to be bossed around a little to listen. heh. Just like daddy. There's a reason he only listen's to Lucy.

Kojo being just like Tim of course he needs a strong woman to boss him around to listen. I wouldn't call Ashley strong but she got the idea. I mean that scene in the parking garage kinda a parallel to this one in that regard. Doesn’t listen at first then eventually comes around when they're bossed around ha. Not a ton in this ep for them. Solid moments nonetheless. Sadly we are saddled with a Chris and Ashley for a little while. But we get tons of goodies between all that so it helps.

~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

I do love James and Wes starting up their bromance. They cute.

Thank you to all who continually support these reviews. Your likes, comments and reblogs make it all worth it. See you Wednesday with 4x11 :)

[nono-uwu]

Chapter 140 inital thought

Spoilers, as always

- first off, Ky Luc looks... good?? Like it's still the current artstyle but he looks a lot more like himself?? If that makes any sense?? He's got bigger eyes and stuff

- ok, from the top now

- the world is going up in flames and rigr somehow has the recourses to feed like a ten course meal to Yuu?? Maids included??

- i don't even know what to think atp, it's kind of a given that everyone will go along with Yuu's plan evetually

- Urd pelaspleaseplease don't do anything that kid asks of you just because your bro does that

- also Urd should have slapped Rigr or something. As a treat.

- And now we're on a planetary scale?? Yuu slow tf down (next thing you know, one of the planets has the astral express from hsr on it to help them and they're doing a better job than anyone in this series ever will)

- Ky representing all of us. We don't give a shit about all of the above. Nhilistic King amirite

- Let Ky Luc say shit!!

- Yooooo Guren squad + Kureto and Aoi are back! For like 3 panels and we can't even see Mito, Sayuri and Shigure fully but they're doing something!!

- feral manchild Ky my beloved

- surpriiiiiseee Ferid is here. Man I really hope Ky gets at least a fighting chance since Ferid is supoosed to be stronger than a 3rd progenitor now. Oh well, Ky will probably fold in like three pages but a man can dream (best case scenario Ky beats Ferid and gets the still conscious vamps out, yes i'm repeating myself every moth A MANS COPIUM NEVER DIES)

- oh that last panel of Ky is gorgeous. He's clearly angry at seeing Ferid and getting interrupted in his little 'hunt' but he also looks so excited because he knows Ferid is a formidable foe. He also definetly wants a proper match after Osaka. Look, I can say something nice about the artstyle!

Tbh I can't even care anymore. Just rolling with the punches. Imma just exist in my little fanatsy world with my oc's otherwise

Edit: upon looking a little closer, it seems the entire artstyle reverted back to pre-shikama backstory arc? Idk, everyone looks slightly better. Glad that Yamamoto and/or Kagami listened :D (tho i'm sure a lot of those complaints weren't nice in the slightest)

[therealslimsanji]

I'm ngl, everytime I see like hate towards Taz over this it's like there's a new thing to be like upset about because the behaviour is just so bad that it really doesn't feel like good faith arguments.

I'll also be upfront, I'm very arab and am a quarter Palestinian so it's not like I don't have any say in this, even if thankfully my family aren't near the genocide that is happening they are still very affected by this.

Like people being against the 'neutrality' of the red Cross have to understand that this is the same neutrality that doctors and surgeons have to have when it comes to aiding people. It's the kind of neutrality that is not about avoiding doing anything which is the real problem but the neutrality of "do no harm" which is a needed ethical point that needs to be with anyone who has a person's life in their hands. If people are worried that sending money to the British Red Cross might mean that the money goes to British Tax then that's just not the case as they are a charity and that means all the money that goes into the charity must go to whatever aid the charity is about with none of it going to taxes.

I just feel like the people who (rightly) get pissed about any doctor that doesn't help a trans or queer person because of the doctor's "religious beliefs" are missing the main point of why this shit is horrendous, because it is one person who has someone's life in their hands choosing who lives or dies instead of just trying to do the job of preventing death.

And the British Red Cross only brings aid to civilians, people who are just living in these places, and Israeli civilians are still people with lives, whether they support their government or not or anything, they still have families and the death of those families can be kindling of the corrupt and is the suffering of the living, regardless of whether it is an Israeli family or a Palestinian family (it's even this point that is making me post this anonymously because I saw how people questioned Taz's heritage and I've had people dismiss my nationality because of how much I try to stay anonymous (my parents are queerphobic and I am currently engaged to my girlfriend of 4 years and of course I don't want my parents knowing that))

And I've brought up like people making this point that he wanted to distance himself from his arab half because he goes by Taz Skylar instead of Tarek Yassin and like ??? The man has been upfront about being dyslexic and tarek, and Yassin has multiple phonetic spellings that would mess with writing it??? Like legit, Taz Skylar is probably the easiest thing to write and read if you're dyslexic.

And then the way people acted over him, deleting tweets and shit like yes, he is an adult, but he's also an adult that has mental issues and had been upfront about that??? Like, I'm just glad that he eventually just stuck to the point and clarified some things as well in his Instagram post. (Like the fact that he brings up that he also wanted to help the refugees that come up to tenerife kinda shows that he had other things in mind and probably just didn't think that would translate to taking any position on the genocide and when people mistook that he had to clarify he just doesn't want innocent people hurt)

Ngl I might just send some anon messages once in a while just being like "AND ANOTHER THING" but atm it is also too early so for now imma leave these points and just try to get on with my day because OOF

Thank you for this! Because I've argued with peoplen who say "you can't be neutral in a genocide" with "yes, actually, you can because it doesn't mean you're INDIFFERENT. And in the case of thr RC, neutrality saves the lives of INNOCENT parties on both sides." But they just don't wanna hear it. I guess because it makes too much sense? Idk.

And the issue with his name is stupid as FUCK. I'm half Sicilian. In the 40s-60s, MANY singers and actors would change their ethnic looking/sounding Italian surnames to more "American" ones. People changing their names and/or shortening them is NOTHING new, and even white Americans have done the same thing in Hollywood. Let's be honest, he probably went with Taz Skylar because 1) Taz sounds like a possible nickname given to him when he was a kid and he just stuck with it because he liked it and 2) going into the acting business with an Arab name? Guess what roles he's gonna get stereotyped with. Especially if/when he becomes bigger over here in America. It has zero to do with "distancing himself." He's done nothing that other famous folk haven't been doing for DECADES.

You can send as many ANONS as you wish. Honestly, this is my first time ever getting Anon asks, and it's been fun 😄.

[hanasnx]

hey! i can't stop thinking abt i was made for loving you and it's the middle of the night when im writing this pls so don't mind the ramble of questions im about to throw at you or just ignore it if they make no sense haha

this concept was so interesting! i also super enjoyed the ask about reader beginning to avoid logans touch, imma a sucker for a good angst, but it did have me thinking…

would he care if she wanted to find physical fulfillment in someone else, or would he only care because it was stepping outside of her vows?

did he marry her because it was the most secure way to have a continued hand in taking care of her or because he wanted her as a wife? i saw that you mentioned the reader being one of his strays, does he view her romantically? of course he loves her, but is it a platonic love? does his love edge closer to parental than anything else? was marriage just the best way he could protect and care for her? we've seen how strong logan's father instincts are

i keep thinning abt the angst of being on the knives of edge of all you've ever wanted, but being unsure if you're all he's wanted in return or if you were a duty for him to fulfill

idk these are the thoughts i was having while trying to picture myself in her shoes, thanks for writing such a lovely piece! <3

no problem i love questions & inbox messages. you’re all good

i care a lot for the dynamic in the IWMFLY drabble it was a very vulnerable piece for me to write. i also enjoyed the ask that talked about reader’s continued and evolving reactions to it so i’m glad you did too

inside of the drabble i think it mentioned that reader doesn’t want anyone else. to put it plainly, physical attention means nothing to her if it’s from anyone else other than logan. so she won’t seek outside sources, and even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t let herself bcos of the sanctity of her own marriage she agreed to. there are plenty of ppl that can do open relationships, but this is not an example of one at least not in its prime form aka IWMFLY

if reader thought maybe, just maybe, she’d want to try it out just to see if anything would help, logan would actually try to be supportive in his own way. he has concerns, but in this rare case he doesn’t voice them bcos he doesn’t actually know how to. for a while you’d try to find someone, but you’d compare them to logan and everythng would just fizzle out. logan would think about how you’re out doing stuff he can’t be there for and feel that concern creep up on him again and it would be a catalyst to communicating with you about how he’s not ready for this but if its real important to you he’d try. but you’re not ready for it either so the open relationship experiment doesn’t continue

as for the paragraph about why he wanted to marry her, all of it is very accurate. marriage was the best way to keep her close and protected. it was largely inspired by his platonic relationship with rogue in the x-men movies and how he views her as a friend with an edge of parental protectiveness, and she has a complex crush and admiration for him and sees him as a trustworthy companion. so bottom line reader and my fic is inspired by rogue.

logan still doesn’t know he collects strays, is always reluctant about it, and it first he was hesitant with you too but he fell too fast. he couldn’t leave you behind and he couldn’t let some other guy who’d treat you like crap make an honest woman out of you. it had to be him. and you said yes, and he’s sure you knew what you were getting into. he does feel parental and platonic over you. you are important to him and he’s obligated to you by choice, and marriage was a way to do that and to prove that devotion

loved this ask :)

[dumplingsjinson]

Idk how to flirt pls help

You just... flirt. I don't know how to give tips LMFAO. I'll just give a list of what I've seen on the internet and what I've been using myself so far:

Use open body language if you're meeting them in person. Don't be closed off. Hands NOT in pockets, for one thing, just in case they wanna hold your hand, or you wanna hold their hand ;)

Light touches (where appropriate) on the arm, or something like that, and see if they're into that or not. If they're not, back off, obviously. You don't want to make them uncomfy and make them think you're weird. Ask them if they're okay with it; don't be afraid to be verbal about things, because you don't want to cross someone's boundaries.

Let them know you're not averse to physical contact (if you're comfortable! If you're not at the stage of being comfy with this then don't force yourself to do anything). If they do initiate physical contact and touch you where you don't want them touching you, don't be afraid to let them know.

As per the two points above, sometimes you've gotta be the one initiating things because maybe they don't wanna initiate because they might be worried about freaking you out.

Eye contact is Sexy (I say as I avoid eye contact like the plague when I like someone FLMAOSFNLKFN). Nah but for real, try to hold eye contact. Not for too long - don't like... stare into their soul or something, I think that's bound to freak anyone out. At least I would be like "Baby, wtf??? Don't stare at me like that, please."

Joke around with them. Nudge 'em playfully. Slap them on the shoulder (lightly, please don't smack them or something and injure them). Just fuck around and tease 'em... again, playfully. You don't wanna come off as an asshole, unless you guys have known each other for a long time and both of you are familiar with each other's sense of humour.

Last point, just be yourself and try not to be stiff and awkward. I know it's hard, but you'll get to a point where you're like "yeah fuck it, they're gonna know who I really am sooner or later anyway so imma just do me". And if they don't like that then fuck 'em, you know? You wanna be with someone who doesn't mind your quirks, after all.

[catdemontraphouse]

Yo hold up wtf…

I never noticed this, thoughts?

In this scene if I’m not mistaken(which I could be as I haven’t read it forever) Sebastian was threatening to take Ciel’s soul after he started to question if he should give up revenge against the cult. (This whole discussion is kinda void if he did not try to eat Ciel during this interaction and only threatened to kill him, but I recall he at least acted like he would eat him)??

Does Sebastard have to make a contract with someone in order to take their soul? Or can he just do that to anyone? Because if that’s the case that he can only take a contracted soul after the agreement terms are met… if Ciel were to annul the contract and release the contractor from having to complete the work order doesn’t that mean the originally required payment is no longer a valid expectation? 🤨I mean, their contract said you help me get revenge and when it’s over u can kill me and eat my sorry ass. So if Ciel giving up means a breach of contract… how tf can Sebastian still be like ok kid imma kill u now? Is it just cuz he feels he can do whatever he wants if the contract is annulled? Ok so why make a contract to begin with then… wtf just let the kid wallow in his sorrow for a while and then eat him (not that I think that’s nice or ok obviously LOL) like why not say “Ouu I will help u to be nice” and then kill him when u get tired of it, rather than saddle urself with rules? That action implies only being able to eat a client lol

Did they ever set any terms for if someone breaks the uh, idk butler lease as it were, early?? Is there some settlement for Sebastard if Ciel decides to abandon his revenge? Or would it just mean he could manipulate him about “wasting his brother’s soul being a sacrifice” and nothing more? What I’m saying is how can he threaten to take Ciel’s soul when he didn’t fulfill the contract because it’s been canceled… doesn’t it just mean Sebastian keeps the initial down payment of all the cult mf’ers evil souls or watever? He didn’t finish the job… the complete payment was to be released after the work was complete. Ok so maybe Ciel has to pay some kind of legal price for terminating the contract unfairly or watever, but I would expect it still to not be the full soul as described in the contract.

“Oh this is stupid it’s not a literal contract it’s a demons pact literary device boohoo” ya ok but whatever I don’t care I want to play layman’s court with y’all and have a needlessly in-depth discussion abt it🙄if Ciel fires Sebastian does he owe his evil adopted dad type thing some stock in Funtom or some money for a cat or something? Does Sebastian take partial ownership of the soul I mean wtf is going on here honestly

[xtinaangelicax]

Random Theory: Hu Jing's Weapon

Barges into the DR:DT fandom half-asleep I just had some random theory yo.

Idk if this will have anything to do with the outcome of the chapter 2 trial, but: I just remembered that Hu Jing's weapon given to her by MonoTV was a Wire. And the thing that Nico used to try and kill Ace but failed to? Was also a wire. Somehow, I can't help but feel like that's too coincidental and that they might be (or are LIKELY to be) the same wire, and I haven't actually seen anyone point this out yet, so imma do so now. (I didn't even realize it myself until I was re-watching the Chapter 1 Trial.)

If I'm correct, then I wonder what it would mean for the trial 2 outcome if anything.

Nico's murder attempt may or may not be irrelevant to Arei's death. But still- if this is the case, like, was Hu Jing complicit in Nico's murder attempt? Did Nico steal her wire? Maybe Hu caught them stealing it, and was stunned or threatened into silence? (Or since she likes Nico so much, maybe they made an excuse and she bought it?) Hu has a complex about needing to be "useful." And combining that with Nico asking for her weapon either via threatening means or feigning innocent intentions, and maybe this is a stretch because it'd probs be pretty dumb and I'm half asleep, but what if Hu partially kinda always defends Nico in the trial cuz she's intimidated by them or she doesn't want it to get out that Nico almost killed with her weapon... or maybe Hu's desperate urge to be helpful is that deep (probably not, but, I'm talking off the top of my head)

(OR: maybe the obvious explanation my primitive brain is not considering: Hu Jing rly just doesn't know Nico stole her own weapon for murder and it's gonna be a point of drama in the next episode lolz. Actually, I think its that.)

CAUSE in that case, Hu might have an arc of being betrayed twice now: First David, then Nico pulling this… considering Hu's hidden quote: "I want to pay for what I've done. But I also want to live." (not the exact words, but-) I strongly suspect she'll be a blackened, if probably not in chapter 2, then in the near future following it.

I dunno, this is probably making less sense now, I just wanted to explore the possibility of Nico's murder attempt wire and Hu Jing's wire, being one in the same wire and it turned into a trainwreck of thought. take my rambles I guess lol!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi there! I um…

okay this is like, unbelievably awkward for me but I’m in a catholic school for Highschool which means catholic sex ed and I’m not totally down for that so here are my questions because I have no clue about anything and I’m fifteen and idk why I’m telling you all of this I’m word vomiting and I’m so so sorry.

okay so um. I think I might be ace because I have no interest in having sex and to test that theory I read some novels featuring sex scenes and I did. Y’know, feel something, but like, Idk how to do the pleasuring yourself thing. And um. I was wondering if you had any tips on that that can be done without the use of purchased products or putting anything up there and oh my god this is so awkward I’m so sorry I love your blog and it’s been incredibly educational for me so thank you and im rambling again.

anyways also my period is like, a month and a half late and I’ve never had sex so I can’t be pregnant so any tips about that bc idk if it’s the lack of proper food water and sleep or if I’ve fucked something up internally when I tried to test my ace theory.

super sorry for the incredibly awkward ask I just don’t have anyone to ask irl and… y’know imma just send this. I am so sorry. Thank you for your time and I’m so sorry again.

hey anon,

thanks for sending this ask; I'm glad you did. my best friend's first college boyfriend also got a catholic sex education and he once sincerely asked her if she wanted to use shampoo as lubricant for shower sex, so I feel like I have a pretty good frame of reference for how little information you're working with here.

to your most pressing question: the great news is that it's extremely easy to masturbate without a toy or penetration; you can just start touching stuff in absolutely whatever way feels good to you! if you'd like some tips, I'd recommend starting with this video from sexologist Lindsey Doe and checking out more on her Sexplanations channel if it feels helpful - she's made quite a few videos covering masturbation!

(despite the age restriction, this is actually a very tame video that consists entirely of a very kind, fully-clothed woman cheerfully offering some advice on jacking off.)

there are a lot of reasons your period might be late, but reading a sexy book and masturbating isn't one of them. the only POSSIBLE way you could alter your period by masturbating would be if you caused some kind of internal damage, in which case you would probably know and hopefully be receiving urgent care. having irregular periods is pretty normal when you're young, although they can also be caused by stress, hormonal fluctuations, medications, excess exercise, and insufficient nourishment. many possible causes, but arousal is not one of them!

and circling back to the start of your ask, you absolutely can be ace and still enjoy reading sexy scenes and masturbating. tons of asexual people do! you can be ace and explore your own sexuality as much as you want. you don't need permission but I am giving it to you.

[jams-sims]

Idk I wanted to vent a little because imma admit. Its so fuckin ironic (and painful), I made a whole ass post about Forever and instantly reailty came crashing down. I've become numb to it almost.

This is why I don't hold CCs and I mean any CC whether they do Minecraft or just game video in any high regards. I've had this outlook since the Pewdpie saying the N word and it was cemented when Mark made a video defending Pewdie saying "you guys don't know him". An I took that as your right, we don't, so none of you get the benefit of the doubt anymore. Now if anyone ever fucks up I'm not even fucking surprised. Because I already don't trust you, any of you can turn and out yourselves.

I think cryoatic was the first instant I had with a CC who was talking and messing with underage fans. An it's been down hill ever since. I get it, I get the narrative people are pushing that it was a long time ago. I get it, it's your hail mary plead. I've been there, I've been in fandom spaces for so fucking long. I've been on the people can change, and with a therapist for a mother I believe it. But that does not stop the action they took from ruining what was made. It is their punishment (the CCs). You don't get to say that shit/do that shit and think people will ignore it or that you get to be forgiven. No you will have to live with that. (The CCs). You live with that hanging over your head for the rest of your life.

An honestly I believe CC need to get the fuck off of twitter it really does not help. I'll say the same thing I did about dreams. Stop acting like your fans are your friends. Stop messaging them, stop looking to them for confirmation. Get the fuck off twitter cause it's doing something to the brain chemistry of everyone in any age group.

An I've been their for the false allegation of some YouTuber. An I'll never understand what people get from it. Besides seeing someone they vaguely had a connection with suffer. An to those people theirs a special place in hell for you. You make it so hard for people who are suffering to get their message across. The reason why people fight against victims so hard because their has been cases where the shit is a lie. Like when people tried to excuse Philza and he flat out deleted his twitter, now his wife runs what is vaguely his twitter account.

I just wish people I liked watching weren't so fucking WEIRD! WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING WEIRD! I DONT GET IT UGH!

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[1hellofacookie]

found airpods pro under the mattress of my bed in the hostel room we've been staying at for over a week and no one in my room nor anyone else has claimed them. Initially wanted to turn them in at the front desk but me teachers said i should just keep them so i guess they're mine now.

I do have insanely funny ideas what to name them now, either as device name or with a sticky note on the case and