#idk if it actually counts as intrusive but we are not having a good time right now

[bambiraptorx]

sometimes i wish my brain had a fucking off switch

[absgay]

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ “I still remember the moment we met, the touch that she planted, the garden she left. I guess the rain was just half that effect.” ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

words count: 1.7k

“No need to imagine, cause’ I know it’s true. They say all good girls go to heaven, but bad girls bring heaven to you.”

warnings: 18+ minors dni, angst, grammar, f*buddy!abby, college!abby, sexual tension, some jealousy, idk i’m not good at this, smut.

part one, part two, next part.

Fuck this, fuck them, fuck her. You didn’t want to see Abby Anderson ever again, you didn’t want to talk about her or think about her either. It started with a basic conversation between two young women in the bathroom, comments, intrusive questions, then came the facts and revelations, the ugly truth.

“Idiot— So stupid.” you murmured as you went down the stairs. You needed some time to digest it, some space. Unfortunately, the universe didn’t seem to be on your side today. “Shit.”

“Hey, sweetheart!” Abby shouted as she stood in the hallway. Great timing, great, great, great. The blond’s enthusiasm died as you headed to your room without a word.

You weren’t surprised but frustrated as she followed you. Leave me alone, go away, fuck off. You looked down and sighed, you didn’t feel tough enough to confront her. “I don’t wanna talk to you, Abby.”

“Okay…” She responded with an uncertain tone. You felt small, naive and weak as an intense sadness stabbed your heart. “At least, tell me why or what happened to—” Abby’s gorgeous blue eyes widened as you kicked the door. “Hey— Stop.”

She seemed genuinely worried as you unlocked it, after the second try. She spinned you around by the wrist, asking questions, trying to understand what was going on with you.

“Did something happen or—”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” you managed to say after a few seconds, even though you were overwhelmed by your own emotions as they all fought together. “I feel so dumb, Abby— I thought things were different between us, I thought I was different and—” Don’t cry, don’t cry, not now. “But it’s not, because you fucked Nancy at this stupid party and then came to the library, flirted with me and decided it’d be fun to fuck me as well. You know what— You’re no better than the others, you’re nothing more than an asshole who pretends to be nice and to have morals so she doesn’t have to face any consequences.” Outch.

Abby didn’t say anything at first, shocked and confused. It was a nightmare, it couldn’t be real, you weren’t actually mad at her, right? She swallowed hard, your words and tone held so much disappointment and hatred, it fuckin’ hurt.

“I— I’m gonna be late for practice.” She turned around, ready to leave but at the last minute, decided to take another look at you. “I don't know what she told you, what you heard or whatever but I pulled away as soon as Nancy kissed me.” Abby said. “You’re the reason I went there in the first place. I came and left with only one thing in mind, you.”

You almost called the blond’s name as she walked away, almost. You shouldn’t have said that, any of it. You stood in the hallway and listened as Abby slammed the door hard on her way out, heart heavy and thoughts racing.

“Do you remember how you two first met?” Your roommate asked. She was looking at you from across the room, seated at her desk. “God— You were so angry.” She laughed.

Yes, unfortunately. It started back in autumn. You were in bed, complaining, groaning and turning around endlessly as music blasted from someone else’s room, once again.

“Where are you going? Hey— Trust me, it’s not worth it.” Your roommate had said to you. “They’ll stop eventually.” You didn’t listen and headed to the stranger’s room with determination.

You knocked once, twice, thrice, the music stopped. You looked around the hallway as you waited, ready to argue with whoever lived here. But as the stranger opened the door, you stepped back, captivated by the attractive blond woman standing right in front of you.

“Oh— Hey.” she said. “Can I help you?”

She looked really, really, too good. “Yes.” But, you couldn’t let the woman’s appearance distract you though, attractive or not: she was still annoying. “Shut down the music and let us get some fuckin’ sleep.”

She smiled, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. “I don’t think we’ve met before.” You sighed at the blond’s flirtatious tone. “I’m Abby.”

“And I’m exhausted.” She huffed, chuckled even as you stood there, frustrated by her reaction. “I’m serious, shut it down.”

Abby leaned towards you with a smirk. “Sure— Anything for you.” Then, she stepped back and shut the door in your face.

Your mouth dropped. “What the—” She had turned the music back on. “Fine.”

From then on, you annoyed each other on a daily basis. On some random monday night, she’d decide to play with your nerves by blasting music until one in the morning. On tuesday, you’d tell everyone she has chlamydia. An immature game you both secretly enjoyed at the time.

One evening, as you were coming back from a friend’s party, you saw a woman leaving Abby’s room, once again.

“Neighbour.” Abby nodded at you. “Nice dress.”

“Dickhead.” She chuckled softly as you stood in front of her, arms crossed and thighs pressed together, the blond’s eyes lingering over your bare legs. “Well— You must be exhausted after your fifth dick appointment of the day.” It sounded bitter, which made you regret it instantly, your stomach twisted in jealousy and embarrassment.

She hummed, amused. “Yeah...” Abby stretched exaggeratedly, then flexed her biceps as you rolled your eyes. “But don’t worry about it, I can ruin my sleep schedule and add a sixth one for you.”

“How thoughtful. I’m gonna have to decline the offer though. You see, I’d rather get some sleep than chlamydia.”

Abby frowned. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why does everybody keep saying that? I don’t have chla—” You chuckled and looked away. “Oh, I see— You’re truly something else.” Abby said. “Now, there’s better ways to get my attention.”

“Right.” You snorted at the blond’s face. “My mission in life.”

Abby huffed and leaned towards you. “Okay— Listen to me, smart-ass. I’d fuck you so good, you’d see stars.” She hummed, looking down at your parted lips. “Yeah— I’m sure your pretty mouth would feel good on mine. You’d sound so sweet moaning and screaming my name, needy little brat.”

Your heart stopped, time stopped. You couldn’t think straight anymore. It was unexpected, bold and so hot. Flustered, you remained silent in shock as Abby looked at you attentively, trying to decode your features. The blond’s face was so close to yours, yet so far away.

“Admit it— You want me.”

“What, no— You want me.”

“I do.” Abby confessed. “And— I must be an actual masochist, because you’re a pain in the ass, sweetheart.”

You hummed, swallowed hard, your cheeks flushed, knees weak, panties soaked as she stared at you with such nasty, hungry eyes. Fuck, calm down.

To be honest, you didn’t want to deny the sexual tension between you two anymore. It was an unwanted attraction built on curiosity and frustration, heated conversations at midnight, arguments in class, flirty comments at lunch, short glanced at parties, unanswered questions as you both secretly wondered: What if? How would it feel? How would it be? Gentle, rough, passionate? So many possibilities, so many hidden feelings, so much desire.

Unfortunately, as much as you wanted to know, as much as your body ached for hers, you didn’t wanna be one of these women, the one who leaves the blond’s room in the early morning glow and hopes she’ll call them back soon, because she never does.

“I don’t wanna be your sixth dick appointment of the day.” You stepped back.

She sighed. “Well— Technically, it’s past midnight, which means you’d be the first one today.”

You chuckled and shook your head as she smiled. “Goodnight, Anderson.”

“Goodnight.”

You turned around to head back to your own room, emotionally wrecked by the blond’s last few words. Luckily, Abby didn’t want you to leave, wouldn’t let it happen, not so easily, not like that. You yelped as she grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a kiss, your eyes widening, your body collapsing against hers.

“Fuck— I’m sorry.” Abby breathed. “I should’ve asked you first. I didn’t mean to— I thought we were— I don’t know.” She sounded so nervous, it surprised you. “Say something.”

Shit. A one-night stand couldn’t hurt, right? You needed to feed your curiosity somehow. “This is a one time thing.” you murmured, the blond dragging you into the dark room instantly as you responded.

Abby moaned softly as you pushed her against the nearest wall, your body overwhelmed by lust, the heat rushing down to your stomach as you kissed the blond passionately for the first time. Abby’s hands moved down to your ass, rough palms and thick fingers disappearing underneath your dress with eagerness.

“Shit—” you breathed in shock, the blond’s hands ripping apart your panties as she groaned against your neck, like an animal. “No, no— These were brand new— I fuckin’ hate you.”

You moaned and pulled at Abby’s braid, eyes closed and head falling backwards as she kissed your shoulder, then bit it. “Oh, Yeah— Do you wanna fight about it?”

“I do.” you whispered back.

Abby sat against the headboard as you lay between her thighs, your back pressed against her bare chest. She moved one hand down to your stomach and smiled as you whined in anticipation, eyes glancing at the blond’s hand approaching your inner thigh. Abby’s fingers moved across your clit teasing it, her mouth dropping as she sensed how wet you were for her.

“Please.” you murmured, frustrated. “Please—”

Abby’s second hand covered your mouth as she touched you, fingering you hard and fast, your moans and whines muffled, your own hands gripping on the woman’s veiny arms.

“Look at me.” Abby murmured with a serious tone. “Oh, fuck— You’re so pretty, so good for me.” You whined at her words, looking up at Abby with bright eyes, your mascara ruined by the sweat and tears. “See— I knew you’d love it."

“Abby— Fuck.” you cried between short breathes as the blond’s hand went from your mouth to your throat. “I’m— I’m—” She added pressure, smirking.

“That’s it, that’s it— Fuck, sweetheart— Come for me.”

Yes. You remember the quiet hallway, the rain, the sunrise as you headed out quietly, the shy glances and smiles you both shared at the door. Abby’s hands catching your waist, the blond’s lips capturing yours as she held you tight one last time, before letting you go.

Yes, you remembered it all too well.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

next part.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

What is UP moonlight and ire nation, Im being tormented by intrusive thoughts rn, so I have decided to read a chapter of A Court of Mist and Fury and hope they stop when Im done with this. Last time on the Flames and Darkness Liveblog we had Lucien finally finding Feyre and Feyre being needlessly cruel to him until he left again. also, Feyre used her Tamlin-powers to shapeshift herself a pair of wings and I think that was pretty much it, I feel like not a lot happens in these chapters tbh. And yet I always have so much to say to say about them... Whatever, lets get into this

Chapter 48

Is Feyre smelling the other people at this inn having sex? what kinda smells and noises is she talking about

Theyre in a village that consists of just the inn theyre staying at, a tailor, a grocery store and a brothel? I mean presumably theres actual houses there too but that doest seem right. Also, if its as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as Feyre claims, where the hell are they getting groceries and what kind of groceries are they selling

of course theres only ONE BED and its soooooo small oh noooo do you guys think theyre gonna have sex or what

Oh and of course Feyre cant demand that Rhysand sleep on the floor because its too small to even do that theyre gonna have the wildest sex, and by wildest sex I mean theyre both gonna squeeze each other into the bed under the comically small ceiling of this broomcloset of a room and lay on top of each other without moving like a sandwhch made out of just faemeat

I feel like a cape thats cut to fit around these bigass illyrian wings would lose a lot of its functionality tbh, unless it was like, a wrapping for the wings to protect them from the cold, but I dont think thats the case with Rhysand's cape, i think it either just has holes or is some kind of weird shape, but I feel like if your in these harsh winter winds, having a cape fluttering around your wings would be pretty distracting considering how sensitive supposedly they are

WAIT. do we count this cape as a new Rhys-outfit or do we not. Im on the fence because on one hand, he's just wearing it with his usual illyrian leathers and its really just an accessoire, like I wouldnt count what he wore in the CoN as a new outfit just because he wore a crown with his black tunic, but on the other hand, I feel like a cape can really drastically alter the look of an outfit in a way most other acessoires cant. let me know what you think

of COURSE feyre would call the hypothetical painting she would make of Rhysand 'Death on Fast Wings' im gonna commit a crime

'"I love it when you look at me like that. [...] Like there's no reason to run away from my power. Like you're looking at me."' Does this imply that Rhysand identifies with the descriptor 'death on fast wings' because idk that seems weird. then again, he is a weirdo

Rhysand's pronouns are death/incarnate <- thought that popped into my head while I was writing the previous bullet point

By far the worst part about this book are all the sections where Feyre will just suck Rhysand off for a paragraph, she would not fucking say that

'"No, [you weren't afraid of me]. You were nervous, but you weren't afraid. I've felt pure fear often enough that I know the difference. Maybe that's why I couldn't leave you alone."' god, rhysand is such a creepy little freak. and not the good kind either

Feyre is being all like "oh, sure, the bed isnt small but we couldnt possibly both sleep in it without completely getting into each other's personal space, especially with his wings" girl??? tell him to put those thangs away???

god this paragraph is so annoying 'Fae-men were possessive, dominant and arrogant but the men of the Spring Court had a certain disregard [for my wishes] laying beneath the the surface' my brother in christ you have been in two and a half (2 1/2) courts and you know seven (7) fae-men personally

Also, this part where Feyre is like "if I was wasting away and Rhysand just stood by without doing anything about it, Cassian and Azriel would've gotten involved and given him a piece of their minds" is so funny knowing whats gonna happen in acosf, like no they fucking wouldnt! what are you talking about!

Oh man it just occurred to me. this is the chapter where Feyre finds out theyre mates isnt it. Or like, this part whre theyre at this inn is when she finds out, Im pretty sure itll last for multiple chapters

"[Rhysand] saw right through Ianthe the moment he met her." yeah because she broke into his bedroom and sexually harassed him and just outright told him that she wanted to have his children for the sake of power ?? I would hope he would see through that

I feel like theres been this pattern in this book of Feyre only being able to compliment Rhys in contrast with Tamlin and its very strange because you would think that after speedrunning their relationship development and spending about 500 pages worth of time with him, she would be able to point out some of his positives without immediately connecting them to her ex's negatives, but I guess thats too much to ask of this ROMANCE

Like, I forgot if this was something Feyre already said or if this is still coming up but I know theres a point in this book where she's like "I think I just loved Tamlin pre-UTM because I was so broken and traumatized from my shitty homelife that I fell for the first person to show me some kindness" and that is not how their relationship felt in ACOTAR at all atleast in my opinion, but that definitely is how Feysand feels in this book

I really hate it when male characters are described as having "hard muscles" it sounds so unpleasant. im saying this primarily as someone who likes to read about characters cuddling and prefers it when theyre soft for that, but even if we're just talking smut, does having sex with a "hard" guy sound pleasant to you? or, well. you know what i mean

!! NEW RHYS-OUTFIT DROPPED !! hes wearing wide thin pants (even though theyre sleeping in an ice cold broom closet) and a tight cotton shirt, both of unspecified color

Oh yeah, Rhysand is just sooooooo powerful you guys, he needs to constantly use his magic otherwise itll just take him over and turn him into the joker

'Everyone at his Court had a use, some kind of great ability. And here I was, a strange, unpredictable hybrid that was more trouble than it's worth.' girl you are literally fae jesus what the hell are you talking about

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this part where Rhys n Feyre are telling each other about how they would tear the world apart if they were ever forcefully seperated is so deeply annoying to me

Im not gonna translate the shit Rhysand just said to Feyre, tldr he thinks shes hot and wants to fuck her but the room is too small for that woe is him, and ughhhh. Im struggling to explain this in a way that doesnt make me sound puritanical, but something about the horniness of their relationship makes it feel really gross to me, its not just the fact that this relationship is horny because I can very much enjoy a horny fictional relationship sometimes, but the horny relationships that I usually enjoy are like, warm and pleasant from the eroticism of it all, Feysand is just kinda gross and sticky to me

Feyre's negative self-talk in regards to her feelings for Rhysand and Tamlin feels so forced, like cmon man, you keep talking about how much Tamlin sucks ass and how much better Rhys is for you how are you still experiencing any kind of inner conflict about this

Also, Feyre talking about how she was constantly thinking about Rhysand even before she left the spring court is just, a lie. does SJM not expect her readers to remember anything

Now theyre spooning and Feyre is stroking his wings and Rhysand is humping her and its like, this isnt sexy to me this is just kinda weird

bro how come Ive never seen anyone talk about Rhysand being like "I love your boobs so much, oh, you dont even know how much I love them" thats so funny

The rest of this chapter was just Rhysand fingering Feyre and honestly, it wasnt too bad, with the extreme proximity and him warming her up I can see why some people would find it hot but idk. its still a sjm smut scene and its german which makes it pretty unpleasant for me

[mesanthropi]

hihihi moots as svt memes go!

i feel like i know you from somewhere, anon 👁️👁️ but i have a shit ton of those so LET'S GO. I'M DOING THIS FOR ALL MY MUTUALS (memes under the readmore)

@wheeboo still can't believe we're moots. anyway, i literally just clicked on this one solely for the captions, but i guess i just gravitated to seungkwan naturally. we're all shocked by capitalism, but ate rani would be the most shocked by it. (she'd hate gas prices here in the ph)

@weird-bookworm these are all gonna be gose pictures, huh? /j this was literally her with me earlier this afternoon. like i was all "should i let the intrusive thoughts win", she came into the replies, then on discord HAHAHAHAH im so sorry you have to deal with my nonsense, but i am stuck with you like oxygen to blood cells.

@3ninth ok not a kpop mutual, but i don't have many mutuals so ya'll are here now no matter what fandom you come from 👉👉 homie is my fellow discord mod. miss her sm fr, hopefully she's back when the owner pops back in from school activities!! if you see this, paula, hope ur having a great time. if not, tell us who we need to beat up

@fairyhaos ATE YENAAAA <33 ok so as an alternative, there's [this], but! primarily, she's giving. this specific mingyu pic. this was defo them during the shua dating rumors and i don't blame her, BUT ALSO. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALSO A THING WHENEVER AN ILLEGAL REQ POPS INTO THE ASK BOX. WHEN ARE WE GETTINBG AN UPDATE ON THE COUNT /JJJ

@kyeomyun she's the homie frfr actually. jadaders would tbh go "that's unfortunate" with the biggest smile on her face if there's any minor inconvenience that happens to either you or her. it's either in a way where girlie is fr amused by your misfortune, or this is a call for help. she's going thru it @ school so hopefully she gets a break soon ^^

@i-luvsang just for you, i'm getting an atz meme (and also bc its their 5th debut anniv <3). feel like marimoon would get the nearest stuffed animal in a shop, call for me, and do this with the blankest face they can manage. i'd lose my mind ofc i laugh at everything but especially shit like this. it's deadpan humor, i swear

@hannyoontify KIKIEEEEEEE <333 DO YOU LOVE ME /LYR /J anyway, kie!! my homie kie, we miss you here at residencia misantropia. moving on, we have this lovely jeonghan screenshot from a knowing bros episode. feel like this is their mood sometimes. hopefully you're taking care of yourself, man! when you come back, we're here with open arms fr ong!!

@joshuahonggf JIAAAA we don't talk much but i adore her sm. [img text's rough tr: i know you're getting nervous about tomorrow, sis] we'd probably be the type of homies who'd spam e/o on discord about a project we're grouped up in. or an exam. or a performance, one or the other. but we end up doing great anyway B))) we're cool like that

@haowrld HI PRE 👉👉👉 abnother filo buddy of mine hehehe. wishing u luck on ur fic btw! i assign to you this woozi screenshot. because sometimes, we get those moments of having zero thoughts in our head. this is also at every writer ever, we're good at imnagining shit but actually writing it is either the hardest thing ever or it comes naturally. goodluckies!!

@wqnwoos HANA WHO CAME BACK BECAUSE ANON CALLED THEM POOKIE 👉👉👉 /jjj but seriously, hana was one of the ppl i first followed after i discovered svt fics on tumblr. she's one of the firsy writer si followed!! but considerinh the fact that she used my iwn salt shaker threat against me, this is what they'd send me i think. idk. its lke 1:21 am im getting sillier with these

@mach1nat1on YOU. ASSHOLE. TRAUMATIZER. IMN GIVING YOU THIS BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I FEEL SOMETIMES WHENEVER YOU DO SOME SHIY IN THE PRIVATE SERVER. YOU HURT MY BBGS YOU HURT ME!! DID YOU KNOW THAT!?!?!??! NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW 🗣️🗣️ but i also love u dw i forgive u everytime and i support your righst and your wromgs. just know that we are forever in a love/hate relationship

@lumasahina im gonna sc this and send this to our priv server but!! hey dude <3 traumatizer numero uno right beside mac and holls. this is you wnheever i manage to put lore into my silly little writings and my silly little characters. and for the record, just so you know, i feel the same way sometimes. i love how you do lore tho! it's always so well-done n they flow well hehe

@holland (not @ing for other reasons) my HOMIE OF ALL HOPMIES, MY POOKIECAKES MY POOKUMS SNOOKUMS <3 sorry abt that those were rge demons. the voices. anyway! here's your assigned meme. skz just for you. i'd take pics of you like this. those 0.5 angles on iphone, then use them as reaction pics or emojis in our server. but i would also cherish these pictures bc they're you and you r my resident "across the world homie for years". stay safe, drink water, and i hope to finish ur req soon aughhhh

holy shit its like 1:53am now wtf

[chronicbeans]

Derek, Dr. Cogsworth, and Aluminum Notes:

Basically, the idea of this is that I wanted to see how these three would view each other, alongside a little "role" they see them as. Like, Aluminum sees Dr. Cogsworth as a "villain", while Derek sees Dr. Cogsworth as some other character trope. Idk, I just thought it would be fun!

Note: THIS TOOK ME MONTHS TO MAKE OMG.

TW: Chronic Illness/Conditions, Hospital Settings/Doctors, Emotional Outburst Mentions

So, idk how to structure this. Here's a bit of an outline both for myself and people reading this, since I talk in circles: Aluminum believes and tries to see the good in people he dislikes, often getting conflicted feelings, but usually fails to see the other perspective fully, resulting in him acting irrationally and disliking those who mean no harm to him (mainly Dr. Cogsworth). Derek can actually see both perspectives, not liking to say he sees good or bad, just the whole picture, making judgements only when a situation has a very clear right and wrong. Dr. Cogsworth is like the guy standing on the sidelines, meaning well, but is very confused as to what to do, what to think, and what he feels towards others. He MEANS well, but doesn't actually succeed in doing what is best in a situation due to simply not understanding how others act.

Now that we got that outta the way, let's start with my skrunkly boy Aluminum, just because he is the most developed out of these three.

Aluminum: He is VERY focused on his own misery. He'll drown in it, but not understand that he is drowning in his misery. It is just a second nature to him. He's drowned in it so much at this point that he genuinely feels apathetic most of the time. The only real things that he feels he can count on are his schedule at the Iolite Hospital, the pain he gets while eating, and that he can't focus on anything he wants to. So, when anything, or in this case, anyone, comes in and messes with his little system he has going, he gets upset. Worse yet is when this force is seemingly unstoppable, like Dr. Cogsworth.

Aluminum, somehow both wholeheartedly and subconsciously sees Dr. Cogsworth as the villain in his story. Well, villain wouldn't be the right word. He doesn't view Dr. Cogsworth as evil, just against him. The correct word would be antagonist. Dr. Cogsworth is the antagonist in Aluminum's eyes, as he only seems to bring him more misery and stress. The fact that Dr. Cogsworth doesn't even seem to mean to do so only serves to make Aluminum's misery worse, as he feels bad for viewing him in this light. He can understand NOT understanding your own emotions, as he went through a similar situation when he was younger, but not to Dr. Cogsworth's degree, adding a strange mixture of both empathy and frustration towards him. He can understand having a hard time interacting with others and understanding how they feel, but again, not to Dr. Cogsworth's degree. So, while he can understand slightly and acknowledge that he may not mean harm, he still views him as a threat to his comfort and organization. A confused, well-meaning threat, but a threat, nonetheless.

Aluminum views Derek as the rare welcomed intrusion to his routine. He serves as a listening, non-judgemental ear for his problems. He gives Aluminum advice that, while he feels he will never be able to truly use, he appreciates. See, Derek may say that focusing on the negatives in life will never help and will only serve to bring more misery, and that trying to see the positives in the small, everyday things would help... But Aluminum feels that he just cannot. All he sees everyday are the walls of the very hospital he despises. Outside the windows he sees freedom he'll never have. He knows practice makes perfect, but how can he practice seeing the positive side when he doesn't remember too? When he can't focus for the life of him? Derek gives good advice, but Aluminum is so used to making excuses after excuses for why he can't. Can't what? Can't do ANYTHING. He'll say "I can't remember. I won't remember." Then, surprise surprise, he doesn't. He lost from the start. Derek is like the protagonist in Aluminum's story. The awesome protagonist, while he, himself, is the sidekick. Derek is something he believes he'll never be: content. Derek is content, which Aluminum believes means that Derek is naturally BETTER than him. Aluminum's failed again, so Aluminum deserves to be relegated to a sidekick in his own story. Aluminum's own low self-esteem has once again made something completely okay and normal to experience, as well as able to be overcome with practice and hard work, into a huge obstacle, dooming him to fail. Then that failure only serves to make him drown himself in misery again, causing him to go vent to Derek. Needless to say, regardless of whether Derek wants to or not, Derek hears a lot about Aluminum's problems. More so than Dr. Cogsworth, Aluminum's LITERAL DOCTOR.

Derek: Onto the cowboy! Derek views himself a bit like Nick Carraway from the Great Gatsby, in a way. Despite playing a big and important role, he isn't the star of his own story. He sits on the sidelines, observing the world, trying to understand as much as he can about those around him. He understands that he will never be able to FULLY understand, unless he can literally peer inside the minds of others, but he still wants to understand as much as he can. That is a part of why he doesn't like to cast judgement. He understands that he will, naturally, do so subconsciously, but he always tries to stop himself and wonder "why is that person like that?"

Derek views Dr. Cogsworth as someone who... well, struggles with emotions. Kind of like a romance protagonist, unable to tell his own feelings, thus preventing him from going after the love of his life. Of course, Dr. Cogsworth doesn't, as far as he knows, have a crush on anyone, but it is the closest thing Derek can equate to his situation. From the outside, Dr. Cogsworth looks like a simple, unfeeling robot. On the inside, however, Derek understands that there is a whole world of emotion hidden from not only the world, but from Dr. Cogsworth himself, as well. He may not be able to understand why Dr. Cogsworth does the things he does, but he can understand that he simply works differently than him. He may hear some of the things Dr. Cogsworth says to others in an attempt to calm them and feel mortified as to why ANYONE would believe that would help, but he can understand that, well, Dr. Cogsworth doesn't understand what would help. He may not even understand what the person he is comforting is feeling, for all he knows.

Derek's view on Aluminum is... complicated. Aluminum is basically the Gatsby to his Nick, but not because of any interest in Aluminum in specific. Aluminum is just the most open and actively seeks him out. Derek is pretty sure that Aluminum seeks him out because he finds it difficult to connect to a lot of the other patients, alongside the gossip some of them like to spread about Aluminum. So, Derek watches over Aluminum, giving him advice, knowing that he will have a hard time following it. Derek has never necessarily suffered from drowning himself in his own misery, so he can understand how it would be difficult for Aluminum to follow the advice he gives. It just might not be the best advice for his scenario, or it will take a long time to kick in. He just tries his best to help out his friend. Aluminum is also a lot more eccentric compared to the people from Derek's homeland, so he does enjoy his time with him. It is a bit watching someone from a completely different plane of existence interacting with you. The cultures and customs are a bit odd, but fun to learn about. The eyes on Aluminum's clothes do scare Derek a bit, though...

Dr. Cogsworth: His view on everything is complicated, mostly due to his lack of emotional recognition. He is also very aware of that fact. So, when it comes to a view on others, especially specific people, it gets very complex very quickly. It is hard for him to differentiate between what a relationship between to colleagues should be and what a doctor-patient relationship should be. He has never necessarily had what he would call a "friend" before, either, since he just can't tell what emotion he feels towards anything. He doesn't want to accidentally end up lying when he calls someone a friend, so he doesn't label anyone as such. This lack of recognition permeates throughout every interaction and his relations towards others, since he has grown to interact using logic more so than emotions. He knows logic, so it would be more reliable than the mysterious emotions, right?

He sees Derek as some sort of mentor figure. Derek can give him good information about emotions, how others are feeling, and how to react to them. If someone is feeling sad, you can do this, this, and this to help. If they're mad, do that, instead. Derek's willingness to help Dr. Cogsworth helps him see Derek as an odd mentor, as well. Whenever he needs information on how to act in a situation, he goes to Derek. However, he is also worried about how close Aluminum and Derek are. He doesn't want Aluminum's worries to spread to Derek, which could make Derek scared of Dr. Cogsworth.

He sees Aluminum as a sort of unattainable goal or MacGuffin. He wants to understand Aluminum in order to understand the emotions of his other patients. However, due to his own lack of emotional recognition, in both himself and others, he sees it an not possible. He still pursues it, anyways, to an obsessive degree. From following Aluminum around the hospital, to calling him in for extra appointments, he does everything he can to understand Aluminum. Aluminum's emotional nature, including some slight anger issues and how he is prone to outbursts of tears and yelling, causes Dr. Cogsworth to study him in specific. It is a bit like how someone might start researching a topic by viewing the most exaggerated, extreme cases of the topic, before going to the more tame cases. Aluminum is so exaggerated in his emotions, so he is the first person Dr. Cogsworth wishes to study.

[hunkledunk]

Oh good lord. Here goes I guess...

Name? I'd rather not say, I'm sure you understand. I WILL say I was named after a star wars actor though =3

Pronouns/gender? He/Him, and I'm cis. I've questioned my gender a looooot though (RIP r/egg_irl) and I've been thinking a lot recently about presenting a lot more femme with earrings and a skirt and such. I don't think I'll be transitioning any time soon but idk, anything is possible.

Sexuality? I can feel attracted to anyone femme presenting, really. cis or trans girls of any sort, femboys too. I'm not too hung up on labels myself and I haven't given it much thought tbh. I will say the only "masc" person I've been attracted to is, inexplicably, jack black. The tik tok videos. You know the ones.

Country? Scotland!

Top 5 fandoms? Pokemon is an easy choice, was a megafan growing up and still have a lot of fondness for the community. I love a lot of the fan art for both Deltarune and Omori in particular, that only leaves binding of isaac and smash bros.

Most forbidden snack? My own fingernails... -_-

Would I pet a bug? It'll consider itself lucky if I can get it out of my house safely, that is all. Maybe a ladybug on a good day.

Weird fact/story? I lived on a country road sandwiched between two farms as a kid. During that time a sheep on one of the farms died, leaving behind two lambs. The farmer asked our family to care for them until they were old enough to be let back into the fields on their own, so for a good half year we kept two baby lambs, one black and one white, in a dilapidated caravan in our back garden. (I do not have pictures... Digital cameras were just barely a thing)

What does the colour blue taste like? bro what blue. trick question. next.

Most beautiful thing I've seen? The moon. I don't need glasses but my vision gets blurry about two meters out without them. Seeing the moon properly, craters and shadows and texture and all, up there in a blank sky impossibly far away just does something to me. The universe is truly beautiful.

Stupidest thing I've ever done? This might sound silly but it's actually one of my most distressing recurring intrusive thoughts... When I was about 12 or so I was at a party and we were all celebrating something, I forget what, and I decide to try and PICK UP another kid on my SHOULDERS. Guys I have NEVER been strong. I put my head between his legs and basically just power bomb this poor kid, cracking his head on the hardwood ground. Miraculously, he wasn't seriously hurt and after the shock died off he didn't blame me at all but holy fuck guys... That memory is going to be the last thing I see before I die.

Stupidest thing I've seen someone else do? Knew a kid in high school who thought sugar was only in minecraft. lmao.

Hyperfixation song? Too many to count. The boys are back in town (to kill you) and Redesign your logo come to mind. Murders by Miracle Musical runs a close third for being eerily applicable to Omori, one of my top 5 fav games.

Any meaning behind profile pic/name? Nope. Mattyburitto animations slap and I came up with this name mashing sounds together in my head. I could never come up with an interesting name for myself that I actually like.

Dream career as a kid? game dev. duh. I went to college for software development but kinda lost the spark towards the end =(

Dream career as an adult? Anything fulfilling, I'm not picky. I will say being an instructor at like, a kids outdoor adventure group sounds like a lot of fun.

Thoughts on cilantro? Not huge on leafy greens as a general rule, cilantro is especially bad. Why is it minty???

Ever been banned from a location? Nope. I'm no troublemaker.

What is your cursed food combo? I don't do it much anymore, but buttered toast with crunchy peanut butter on top was my THING as a kid.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

I couldn't identify ten other r/196 residents with a gun to my head... I'll call on @wolfenchant, @reyna-daisuki, @unhinged-popsocket, @transgeneth, and @hatch-backward

Good luck everyone! this was fun.

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[vanillanaps]

Unfaithful | Steve Rogers

Summary - You promised yourself it was the last time you’d see him. The last time you canceled on your boyfriend to meet up with him. The last time you’d lay naked beneath his sheets as he was buried between your thighs, but promised where meant to be broken.

A/n - y’all it’s been so long since I wrote smut, please just bear with me. The ending is also lowkey bad, idk y’all.

Category - Fem!Reader, angst, smut

Warnings - poorly written unprotected sex, arguments, cheating (I do not condone cheating) fluff at the end, I guess?

Word Count - 3.4k

♡♡♡♡

You shouldn’t be here, doing this, with him. It was wrong, it was so wrong and you knew that. Your boyfriend didn’t deserve the pain you’d been putting him through this past year, but you couldn’t help it. The way his calloused, soft hands felt running up and down your naked sides, his plump pink lips trailing kisses from your lips, down to your neck and across your shoulders. Or the way his piercing blue eyes gazed into the souls of yours, reading you like an open book. He was new, exciting and adventurous. The moment you met him, you knew it was something different about him. How he walked, talked and even presented himself. When he made that first move against you and even then you couldn’t resist him, not even when your boyfriend was a few feet away from you.

The presence of a body pulled you from your thoughts as the steam of the hot water pouring from the shower filled your senses, “You alright?”

You nodded softly, pushing away the intrusive thoughts and letting yourself have this moment. Your bottom lip was brought in between your lips at the feeling of those cherry red lips being traced against your steaming skin, “Steve, we can’t. I have to go.”

“I just need you once more before you go.” He whispered to you, his hands resting on your hips while he pressed his front up against your backside, letting you feel his hardness for you all over again. A soft moan escaped your mouth at the touch of his hard shaft flesh against your ass. You weren’t sure why you tried, knowing that each and every time, you’d melt right back into his arms without him doing much convincing.

You turned in his hold, not wanting to loiter for a moment longer, your lips found his. His hands circled around to your back, pulling you close to him. Turning the two of you around, he pushed you up against the cold titled wall, he took the chance of your lips parting with a gasp to slip his tongue in. The kiss grew heated and hands began to travel. Yours around his neck and his down to your thighs to lift you up, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Steve, please.” You muttered against his mouth, sighing when his shaft brushed against your folds, teasing you tremendously.

“I’ve got you.” He’d answer back. It was true, he always had you.

Your head fell back against the shower wall as he sunk himself into you. His breath shuttering against your neck as your walls squeezed him like no tomorrow, still a throbbing mess from your earlier sessions that you were supposed to be scrubbing off. His grip on your thighs tightened, thrusting up into you. Your moans filled the steamy shower as his heavy cock stretched the walls of your pussy, nails clawing at the nape of his neck while he fucked you endlessly. Steve dipped his neck down, tongue trailing against your breast, trying to bring you the most immense pleasure he could before you left him again. He knew you wouldn’t last long around him, but he figured he’d make you cum once more before you were gone.

“Fuck, please don’t stop!” You moaned, now tucking your head into his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer to you.

“Gonna cum already?” He asked, not even needing the answer. He knew by the way that sweet cunt of yours tightened, just nearly squeezing the life out of him, “gonna make a mess all over me again?”

You nodded desperately, your back trying to arch, “I’m so close.”

Steve widened his foot stance, repositioned his arms to hook under your knees to spread you wider for him. Picking his pace up, his hips snapped against yours, pelvis brushing up against your clit and his balls slapping up against your ass. He smirked through his groans at the feeling of tightening up around him, “That’s it baby, cum for me.” A cry left your throat as you followed his commands and released all over him, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm til his thrust sputtered to a complete stop and his load shot heavy into you.

If he was being truthful, he didn’t want to let you go. If he had it his way, he’d lay you in his bed and cook you a nice lunch as you slept away the last five orgasms he gave you, but that wasn’t his place. He was there for a fuck and then you’d go home to the man you claimed you loved. But how could you love him when you were here with Steve? How could you love him when you went back home nearly every night with Steve’s cum still leaking out of you. How were you still his?

♡♡♡♡

You felt his eyes burning holes into your back as he watched you dress yourself. Pulling that black dress he bought you down over your hips to wear for another man, “When can I see you again?”

There it was, the question that you knew he’d been itching to ask. Lately, you've been distant with him. Trying to dodge his phone calls and avoid his text, only making it at least two days but then you’d find yourself tangled in his sheets for the next few nights. But tonight was supposed to be different, it had to be. This was the last night you’d spent with him. The last night you’ll put more strains on your relationship for the man that lounged on his bed in nothing but sweats, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You didn’t need to turn around to see him rolling his eyes, you heard it, “You do this bullshit every week. You say you’re done and then I end up right in between your legs. Just stay.”

“Steve, I can’t and you know that!” You avoided his words, knowing the truth behind him.

“Give me one good reason why you can’t?” He questioned, getting up from the bed and following behind you as you collected your belongings.

“Because I love him. He’s my boyfriend and I should be there with him, not you.” You shot back.

Steve scoffed, “You love him, yet you’re here fucking me on your anniversary with him? Oh wow, he’s a lucky guy!”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” You whipped around, pointing a finger in his face, “You knew what this was when we first started! I told you from the beginning what it was going to be and it’s not my fault that you caught feelings! I’m happy where I am!”

“I’m not gonna sit here and act like I don’t see through your facade.” Steve stepped to you, pushing your hand from his face as he slowly backed you into a wall, “You don’t love him, you’re comfortable with him. He’s all you know, your safe place. Someone who will always be there when you crash and burn. You’re scared to let me in because I actually make you feel something. I challenge you, I put excitement into your life and that scares the shit out of you because you think one day it’ll come to an end. That I’ll leave and we’ll never see eachother again.”

“You’re wrong.” You spat, he’s right.

“No, I’m not.” Steve shook his head, his anger fading away. He didn’t want to be angry at you, he wanted you to see the truth. He wanted you to see what good you had standing in front of him and what you could make a life out of, “He bores you. It’s been the same thing since high school. You told me this. You’re keeping yourself in a relationship that’s already over. It’s been over the moment we came in each other’s lives, why can’t you see that?”

“Steve..” You breathed, lip trembling as his words started to hit home. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, he only wanted you to see him.

He let his thumb softly wipe away the tear that dared spill over your tear duct, his hand coming to caress your cheek before his fingers slide down to take your chin between them and titling your head up, “Let me be the man that makes you happy. That keeps you feeling young and excited everyday. Let me be the one to tell you that I love you everyday for the rest of our lives.” His eyes searched yours finding them completely conflicted. A small slither of hope filled his chest, this was the furthest he ever got with you in this conversation. His head lowered to place his lip on yours, placing small pecks upon them, “I love you, let me love you.”

For a moment, you took pleasure in the situation. His lips repeatedly pressed against yours in a soft manner as he confessed his love for you. You let yourself have a glimpse at your future with Steve. He was right, he did excite you, challenge you and bring adventure into your life. With Steve, there was no telling where the future might take you. The infatuation you had with him is what kept you coming back to him, but it’s also what kept you an arms length away. Knowing that at any moment, this relationship you’d built with Steve could be taken away. He could start loving someone the same way he started loving you. What if he got bored of you? What if you were only excited because you belonged with somebody else and there was a thrilling edge of being caught when he would be balls deep into you as your boyfriend called. There were too many what if’s. With the man you called yours, you knew it would be forever. That’s why you couldn’t let yourself love Steve Rogers.

“Stop, stop.” You muttered, placing your hand on his chest to push away, “I-I can’t.”

“Don’t do this, please.” He sighed as you slipped from his grip and continued to gather your belongings. His heart was nearly ready to jump out his chest as he watched you walk towards his front door, hand on the knob, “If you leave, then that’s it!” He called, stopping you in your tracks, “I’m tired of being your back up when you aren’t happy with him! It’s been a year and I’m tired of waiting. If you—if you walk out that door, then I’m done! It’s over!” Steve’s chest bounced heavily, nerves running through his body as he watched your frozen stance, but what could he have expected? You didn’t leave your boyfriend then, so why would you leave him now?

“I hope you have a nice life, Steve.” Without even a glance back, you walked out of his apartment and out of his life.

♡♡♡♡

Checking your eyes once more, dabbing away in puffiness in your eyes just before you crossed the threshold of Darren’s apartment, “Babe? Baby, I’m here!” Closing the door behind you, setting your keys and purse on the entry table, “I’m sorry I’m late! Traffic was crazy.” You lied smoothly, turning the corner to see your boyfriend sitting at the opposite end of the dining room table, hands folded in his lap, candles burned down to the middle and food that had looked like it had been sitting for a while, “What’s all this?”

“Well, I had a dinner planned for our anniversary.” He spoke, getting up from his chair to make his way over to you, “But clearly you had better things to do.”

You were taken back by his words. There had never been a time that Darren had spoken to you with that kind of tone, but then again, there had never been a time you’d been late for an anniversary dinner, “Darren, there was traffic. What did you want me to do? Tell them to hurry up? Run through it?”

“Yeah, well that excuse would be valid if it didn't take you nearly three hours to get here when you only live twenty minutes away.” He moved around you, blowing the candles out.

“Okay, baby wait.” You sighed, grabbing his hand to stop him from clearing the table, “I woke up from my nap late and was just completely off schedule and you know how much I hate when you comment on my time management.” Darren stopped letting you pull him towards you, “I’m sorry, okay? I’ll make it up to you. I’m here now so let’s just warm the food up and enjoy it, yeah?”

He looked down to your pleading eyes before giving you a small nod, “Okay.”

“Okay, good. I’ll go warm up the food and meet you on the couch.” Placing a small kiss on his cheek, you grabbed the plates of food and made your way to the kitchen. A breath of relief came from you as you loaded a plate into the microwave. You knew that you’d be late, but being three hours late and using traffic as your excuse nearly blew your cover. You knew you couldn’t keep doing this to him, which is why you ended it with Steve. Darren had been nothing but good to you and you were doing him wrong in the worst way because only did to fuck another man, but you fell in love with him.

The night was slow and awkward. You tried to converse, ask him about his day, how work was, and what his plans were but all you got back was ‘it was okay’, ‘it was work’, and ‘probably nothing’. You slightly frowned at his responses, but it wasn’t like he didn’t have a right to be upset. Deciding to make it up to him, you set your plates down and crawled into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck as you kissed him slowly, “I’m sorry.” You muttered against his lips. At first, you’d thought he’d forgiven you when his hands came to your waist, but it was to only push you away, “What’s wrong?”

Darren sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch staring up at the ceiling, “...You still smell like him.”

You faltered, pulling away slightly, “Wh-what?”

He brought his hands up, rubbing them over his face, “Usually when you come back from being with him, it’s faint. No matter how much you try to scrub him off you, I assume it’s because the two of you shower together, but it’s like today you didn’t even try.”

“You knew?” You questioned. Since when? For how long? Why is he just now saying something? Had he known each and every time you’d come from Steve’s apartment? Did he know the few times Steve came to your apartment?

Darren scoffed, slowly sliding you off his lap, getting up from the couch, “Is that all you have to say to me? If I knew? Of course I knew! My girlfriend is out there getting fucked by another man and you think I didn’t know? All the late night calls and text messages. When you're ‘working overtime’. Being too sick to come see me, but in reality, you’re with somebody else. Coming here with missing panties, yeah I’ve noticed! All these new clothes that you can’t fucking afford because you make minimum wage and can barely pay rent for that apartment you have!” He raged, pacing the living room back and forth, “Then you come in here, three hours late on our fucking anniversary, smelling like him! You fucked him. You fucked somebody else on a day we were supposed to celebrate our relationship!”

“I'm sorry! I broke it off with him! It’s done! I’ll never see him again!” You tried to reason, tears threatening to spill, getting up from the couch as you made your way towards him, trying to take his hands into yours to keep him from pacing, but he only snatched his away, “Darren, please! I swear it’s over!”

He stopped his pacing, his breath deepening as he tried to calm himself, “How long have you been seeing him?”

You gulped figuring that you lied and hurt him enough. He didn’t deserve what you put him through, you’re causing him nothing but pain, “A year.”

He scoffed, shaking his head, “A year. A fucking ye—“ He paused, eyes finding yours and looking into what felt like the depths of your soul, “Do you love him?”

Your heart dropped, mouth running dry, “Darren, don’t make me answer that.”

He took a step closer to you, “Do. You. Love. Him?”

Tears finally fell, wetting your cheeks as you nodded.

“Get out.” He started, you went to testify but he just shut you down, “I don’t want to hear anymore of your excuses. Just—leave! Go! I don’t wanna see you ever again!” You watched as he stomped around the apartment before finally getting to the single bedroom, the door slamming shut behind him.

This is what you deserved. You didn’t have a right to cry, to be upset for him kicking you out. You had sealed your fate months ago when you first stepped out on him with Steve. You sealed your fate once you continued to sleep with Steve even after you had fallen in love with him and now, you’d lost both of them.

♡♡♡♡

The days passed slowly as you fell in a rut. How did you allow yourself to end up here? Alone, sad and broken. The two most important people no longer in your life. Both had been completely fed up with your shit and could you blame them for it? No. If you were being truthful, you would’ve done the same. If you were Darren, you would’ve left him the moment you knew. If you were Steve, you wouldn’t allow him to string you along as far as you did to him. God, were you a bitch. But a bitch who couldn’t help what she felt.

The days didn’t slow because Darren wasn’t in your life anymore. You could live without the schedule days that had been the same since you met Darren. There was no change, the excitement started and ended in highschool, but you stayed for your own selfish reasons that had now turned its back on you. It had left you cold and alone in the world, with no one to turn to, not even friends. They’d left you behind to go travel the world once college was over while you chose to settle down with the man that had no true desire for the adventures of life. He still didn’t deserve what you did.

But then there was Steve Rogers. The man you had gotten so easily infatuated with in so little time. You were at his beck and call, more of him crawling to you as you kept him on a string. Again, for your own selfish reasons. Steve’s life scared you. His days weren’t planned to a T, he didn’t schedule out breakfast, lunch and dinner. There wasn't any planned bedroom time and the sex was far from vanilla. Steve was wild, reckless and carefree while still being wholesome and loving all in one. You knew what your heart wanted. Back then, you were scared to follow it. But now, after having a taste of loosing it all, you said fuck it. You’d dive headfirst into this if you had to, if you even still had the chance to.

Your mind ran a mile a minute as your legs carried you into the apartment building and up the familiar staircase you had been through so many times before. Flashbacks of you being pressed against almost every inch of these walls at least once by him as the two of you could barely make it to his apartment on the third floor. A soft smile at the memory as you came face to face with his front door. Taking a deep breath and raising your fist, knocking against the tall wood.

Moments passed before the door swung open, your eyes meeting those stunning baby blue ones that you didn’t realize you missed so much, “Hi.”

“Hey.” Steve responded, leaning his body against the doorframe. The silence took over for a moment before he spoke up again, “I’m guessing you two..?”

You nodded, “Yeah, we did. You were right.”

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he stood straight, motioning towards him. Relief ran through your body as you allowed yourself to be buried into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent. The smallest of smiles curled into your lips as you felt his press against your temple, his arms wrapping around you tighter for a moment longer, before he guided you into his apartment.

This was the start of new beginnings.

[solaeter]

hate that I love you - Naoya Zenin [18+]

I haven’t actually written smut in like two years..well finished smutty content. I can barely start it and finish it, shame on me but I am pathetic °(ಗдಗ。)°. I am so nervous and shy, so pls no pitchforks and tomatoes _(:3」∠)_ this is a repost cause doubt hit me for a hot minute, but we gon be brave (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ 

Word Count: 2311

Request Status: OPEN

Warning[s]: Adult content, minors dni!! idk proper warnings cause my brain is fried atm, but there’s oral [f receiving], penetration which is given, slight manipulation? Naoya cause he’s a warning all on its own, noob attempt at dirty talk [I died k]. reader chan tries to hate naoya but can’t. It’s just porn without plot unless you squint.

Just when you thought you were safe, reality had another thing in mind. Strong hands pulled your hips up with a force that had your face hugging the pillow before you could register how you even allowed yourself to end up like this.

Why did it have to be now? You really thought you managed to get away. "Why are you doing this?" You turn your head, teeth latching to your bottom lip when two fingers glide along your clothed slit. 

"You don't seem to mind." Naoya remarked, his voice laced with disinterest and boredom while his eyes roamed your body. Three months..that's how long he's been without you. His favorite toy. "You're already so wet for me, miss my cock that much?" He questioned with a sneer, sliding your pretty little panties to the side. The sudden chill made you squirm and his words bit at your budding arousal.

"Couldn't you have found someone else to toy with?" You avoided his question, voice hitching when he slid a finger up your dripping slit, stopping at your clit and circling the bud ever so slowly. It wasn't fair how he could work your body so effortlessly. Your mouth parts as your eyes squeeze shut. 

Naoya smirks, his eyes never leaving your cute little cunt while you try to look as displeased as possible. You should have known getting away from him was quite literally impossible. He owned you. 

"Why should I find someone else when I only need you?" The sentence itself sounded sweet, but you knew it was far from what it suggested. Ever since you met Naoya, he's had you by the palm of his hand. He used you for his own needs, taking and taking before tossing you to the side. Yet, you lingered and remained loyal until you tried to end things. Naoya let you live in a false sense of newfound freedom, giving you just enough space before making your world tumble back down, right where he wanted you. 

Now, there was no denying that you looked absolutely stunning before him. Your body was meant for him, made for him to fuck over and over. You were his missing puzzle piece. When you don't answer Naoya, he clicks his tongue and brings his fingers down to your entrance, the tips teasing your hole before plunging knuckle deep, your walls clamping around him beautifully while you cry out.

The sudden intrusion made your thoughts muddle together and everything seemed to spin. Naoya could make you so stupid so easily and he laughs, so humorously. "Why would I find someone else when you're so..fucking worthless without me. I haven't even done anything and you're already stupid."

You glance back over your shoulder, cheeks burning when your eyes meet his cold ones. He never showed you an ounce of love, only half an inch of interest and a load of selfish, one sided desires. "I hate you." You spat while gripping the sheets when another finger eased its way inside you, stretching you further. Naoya curled his fingers roughly, swiping over the one spot that had stars in your eyes. He knew your body better than you knew it. Or so he claimed with a sense of pride. 

No matter how long you've been apart, Naoya would be sure to remind you that no one else will make you feel the way he does. Even if you're spouting words of hate, he just knows you won't stay away for too long. "Heh, sure you do." 

You wanted to be angry, call him out for being a vile piece of shit but nothing came out of your mouth besides helpless moans. 

"Look at you, so pretty and fucking useless. Baby can't even argue with me." Naoya talked down at you, thrusting his fingers in and out of your pretty cunt until you're clenching around him with a strangled, frustrated cry as pleasure washed over your body. "Damn, you couldn't even hold it in. I'm disappointed." Naoya removes his fingers and your hole clenches around nothing, searching for more.

Oh his little whore. To ruin you is his greatest desire. To have you so wrapped around him, that nothing else in this world can compare to what he does. It makes his blood boil in such a way he can't describe and it shoots straight down to his cock. But he can't have you just yet. 

Naoya has to break you more, see you crumble. So he flips you over and the gasp that leaves your pouty lips is nothing short of stupidly adorable. Even more so is how you look at him with wide, teary eyes. As if that would make his heart soften.

"Finally have something to say or are you just gonna stare at me like a fucked out fool?" Naoya spread your legs, bending to hike your skirt around your waist before fully removing your soaked panties. You were compliant, unmoving while he did as he pleased. To be honest, words failed you more when you needed them most. 

"I– please forgive me for leaving.." 

Naoya perked up when the words left your mouth, his own lips twisting into that of a sinister smile. "So you decided on being a good little bitch." He murmurs, placing a hot kiss on the side of your thigh. You always looked so good sprawled out before him, at his mercy. It had his mind spinning in circles, all the possibilities running rampant. "Where's your fight?" He asked casually, inching closer to your puffy cunt and you look down at him only to snap your head back onto the pillow. 

"I have none, I should have listened the first time." 

That sentence you knew by heart considering you've had to confess your wrong doings on multiple occasions. Naoya hums, content as his nose brushes against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your body reacts on its own, knees bending and toes curling into the satin sheets. You tried to resist him, tried your damndest but it never worked. It frustrates you, so much that you groan and nearly close your legs around Naoya's stupidly pretty head. 

Firm hands catch your legs and dark eyes land on you. "Oh [Name], tell me what you're feeling. I'm dying to know." He didn't care. You let out a half laugh and sit up on your elbows. 

"I hate you. With my entire being but I can't get away. It's not fair. You're– ahh not f-fair." Your words falter when Naoya's tongue slides up your cunt, lapping up your essence before going back down to your entrance.

"Mhmm.." He listens half heartedly, instead enjoying the sweet taste of you that graces his lips. You became putty in his hands, just like that. So simple, one movement. One hand threaded through his short locks, fingers grasping onto what it could once his tongue dipped inside your awaiting hole. 

"Fuu–" You toss your head back, involuntarily pushing Naoya closer which causes him to chuckle and the rumbling of his body only has you sinking further into his palm. He watched you, how your chest would rise and fall as you panted, moaned and clung to him helplessly. Your reactions had his cock throbbing in his pants and he wasn't going to be able hold out much longer. 

Adjusting one of his arms, Naoya's fingers soon met your clit and circled it quickly, building you higher and higher. Your body jerks and he keeps a hold of you, halting your hips to keep you still. 

You tasted divine, like a special wine made just for Naoya. Your pretty moans were like music to his ears and when he pulls back, the whine that leaves your lips sounded almost sinful. "N-Naoya.." You look at him, eyes blown wide and vulnerable, so close to paradise. He smirks and continues his assault on your clit.

"What? You seem to be getting off just fine with my fingers. Now be a good little slut and cum for me." Naoya coos and just like that, your body listens to his every command. The coil snaps and your body trembles, legs spasming and threatening to close around his head but his unoccupied hand keeps them open while you cry out, incoherent words leaving your lips. 

Naoya can't deny the sight and he groans, the desire to fuck you clouding his thoughts. ""Ah– fuck – what a good girl." He praised, an odd thing coming from him but it has you smiling so stupidly. You watch Naoya through half lidded eyes as he eases you from your high, rubbing small, slow circles around your sensitive clit. Your hips still move with him, your body wanting more.

"Naoya..I need you inside me." You barely manage and if it wasn't for the fact Naoya was so turned on, he would have bitched at you. Instead he uses his free hand to undo his pants and free his aching cock from its hellish confines. 

Your eyes lock onto the throbbing member that now rests in his hand as he pumps it languidly. "Do you really deserve my cock? Last I checked," Naoya hovers above you, situating the tip right at your entrance. "You've been a bad girl." He teases you, pushing the tip just barely inside you before pulling back out. You whine, loudly with a pathetic pout forming on your lips. 

"Please, I need you. So bad, I'll never leave again!" You cry, beg and lift your hips in search of what you wanted so bad. All fight, resistance and negative feelings vanished when all your mind and body wanted was him to consume you..

“Is that so?” Naoya hummed, bottoming out inside of you before you could continue your pleas. Your eyes roll back and he has to suppress the groan that dares escape his own mouth. He never grew tired of how you felt; how your walls fluttered around his cock, how you took him so willingly. So easily. You were truly meant for him. 

The pace is set with languid thrusts, Naoya driving himself deep into your velvety walls. He watches your face contort and twist with pleasure and pain due to his size, it had him surging with a sense of animalistic pride. “Remember who you belong to.” He says lowly in your ear and all you can muster is a quick nod of your head as whimpers and cries leave your delicate lips. Your arms snake around his shoulders, keeping Naoya close while your legs lock around his waist.

“Look at you,” Naoya groans, shifting so that you now sat on his lap, his cock hitting places that made your head spin, “Taking me so well- goddamn - be a little louder. Let everyone hear what a slut you are.” He demands, his voice low and strained. You helplessly comply, bouncing up and down on his lap like a good girl. Your head was warped, just like he wanted. Every moan, cry and wail sounded like a symphony that was only meant for him. Naoya held your hips tightly, guiding your frantic movements, hitting every spot inside you that made you grasp onto him like some type of savior.

Ah yes, Naoya definitely is your savior in his sick twisted head. Though he hisses when your nails scratch his neck, leaving noticeable marks that surely would be questioned later. He didn’t mind, not in the slightest. If anything, it made him fuck you harder, his cock ramming your drenched hole as if it were his last day on this earth. The lewd sounds of your juices squelching every time he fills you had him going crazy and he ignored how you drenched his lap, uncaring of the mess since he so graciously caused it. 

“So close, Naoya please,” Your voice is weak and broken, body trembling as it reaches the peak of nirvana. Naoya wasn’t far off from his own release and instead of being a total asshole like he wanted to be, he held you close.

“Let it go, baby.” He urged before biting down on your neck, sucking the tender spot to leave a claim on your body. You whine and unravel, pleasure overwhelming your body, legs trembling and shaking, you were thankful to be on his lap or you would have gone down. Naoya continues to fuck you, chasing his own release and groaning loudly when hot ropes of cum paint your delicate walls. He fills you completely, uncaring if you ended up bearing one of his kids. Hell the thought only made him feel more possessive. It would give him a greater claim over you, keep you with him.

Before Naoya allowed himself to get aroused once more, he removed you off his lap and got off the dirtied bed to fix his clothing. You watch in your fucked out daze, the grips of confusion and longing playing tug of war in your heart. 

“W-Where are you going?” Your voice sounded so soft, so submissive. Naoya glances back and he admires his handiwork. You were an absolute mess. “You can’t..just leave me like this.” 

How desperate. Naoya bit back a laugh, bending to pick up your discarded panties and toss them onto your stomach. 

“If you want me so bad, you know where to find me.”

With that, Naoya bids his farewells and leaves you like you did to him three months ago. But he knew that you’d come crawling to him before the night ended.

On the other hand, you stared at the ceiling until your heart calmed down and were able to get off the bed. Would you run back to him? Even though you wanted to say no, your body said otherwise with the longing for his touch.

The only thing you knew for certain was that you hated that you loved him. 

[acciofanfics]

Spell It Out (Oliver Wood x Reader)

Request: could you do an oliver wood x female reader where they’re like friends and she’s really little (like thin and short and she’s insecure abt it by the thinks it’s cute) so he’s like kinda protective over her but she’s oblivious and idk maybe like he gets jealous or something (?) idk u can make the plot but they get together in the end and maybe it’s a lil steamy (?) thanks sm!!! i love ur writing 🥺

Pairing: Oliver Wood x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Heavily implied smut and maybe language? I’ll say language to be safe.

Word Count: 1652

A/N: I hope this is what you wanted! I really struggled with thinking I wrote Oliver too OOC. That being said... I apologize if this is too OOC >.< As always here’s a reminder that requests are still open! - S 

__________________________________________

Oliver Wood took quidditch quite serious, and would never fault anyone else for doing so. His chest swelled with pride when he found his team already on the pitch practicing, before their scheduled time. Maybe it was that they’d be playing Slytherin next week that had them finally taking the game as seriously as he did (they were Gryffindor’s biggest rival). His chest deflated when he saw (Y/N) playing keeper. How could they let her play?!

It wasn’t that he didn’t like (Y/N), they were good friends. Fred and George often said it was quite obvious he fancied her. Maybe, that’s why he had such a problem with it, quidditch could be a dangerous game! Of course it wasn’t against the rules for students not on the quidditch team to play around on the pitch and fly, but it should’ve been... at least for her. His first game on the team he took a Bludger to the head 2 minutes in and was out for a week!

Oliver found himself just watching for a bit; annoyed but distracted, he was fond of her smile and the wind catching her hair. Well, he was fond of it until Fred was hovering beside her, both laughing as her smile grew. Oliver couldn’t hear what they were saying so he had to make it up in his head and he was irritated that Fred had the nerve to suggest such. Oliver was quite glad he heard George yell and break his trance, “MUM’S HERE NO MORE FUN AND GAMES!”

Oliver tried to seem normal, as they all settled down and got ready for practice. He brushed off a friendly greeting from (Y/N) and tried to ignore the thoughts of her all together while she put the broom away. It wasn’t going to be the easiest task, given the fact that she usually settled in the stands to watch them practice.

It was a brutal practice... he had the tendency to do that: take out his frustrations on the pitch. It was pretty obvious that he was having an off day, but the team knew it was best to just suffer through it and hope next practice he would be in a better mood. Poor Fred seemed to get the brunt of the abuse.

(Y/N) was a bit concerned. It’d been awhile since she’d seen Oliver work himself and them this hard and that was after a particularly hard run in with Marcus Flint. (Y/N) just worked on her potions homework and waited for practice to end. It ran longer than usual, and her worry only grew when she didn’t see Oliver exit the locker room with the rest of the guys. She waited a few minutes before deciding to just walk right in.

“Oliver, you still in here?”

Oliver’s eyes widened at her intrusion, he’d just gotten out of the showers and wore only a towel around his waist, “Bloody hell, (Y/N)! Just barge right on in, will ya?”

She rolled her eyes at his tone. “What’s wrong with you today?”

He thought about responding with a simple: nothing, but they knew each other too well for that. It wouldn’t work. “Why were you out there playing today?”

“Is that what you’re mad about? We were just messing around, practice hadn’t even started yet. It was just a warm up.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have been warming up with them.” Oliver approached her and as he sized her up, he really didn’t feel like he was being silly. She stood a good head or two (maybe three) shorter than him, and all around the girl was just tiny. A good gust of wind could’ve knocked her right off that broom, “You could’ve gotten hurt.”

(Y/N) was used to this, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating. She wasn’t a child, even though everyone seemed to think she was. It was rather disheartening actually to be treated like this by him... she wondered if she was a bit taller and a little more filled out if this was the conversation they’d be having while he stood before her basically naked. “Oh, sorry. I thought something was actually wrong, I wouldn’t have bothered had I known you were just being a git. It’s not different than you playing! You could get hurt, in fact out of the 2 of us you’re the one with more quidditch related injuries.”

Oliver ignored her, they wouldn’t reach an agreement on the subject anyhow. He decided to go in on something else bothering him, “What are you doing here anyways? I figured you’d be back in the common room with Fred or whatever.”

Fred? He was two years younger than her (granted you definitely wouldn’t realize that by looking at them) and sure he flirted with her. It was Fred, he was flirty and goofy. It was the boy’s personality and had nothing to do with anything. “Honestly, Oliver you are too much sometimes! You’re going to act like I’m a child and then turn around and act jealous in the same breath?”

Did she really think he viewed her as a child? That wasn’t it at all. Maybe he needed to get over himself and finally come clean. “I don’t look at you like you’re a kid... and you call me thick.”

“Okay,” Sarcasm dripped from her tongue, “You act like I can’t do anything for myself, you’re mean to any guy that pays me any mind, you hardly let me carry my books for myself!”

“And there’s no other explanation for that?” Oliver’s eyes widened in disbelief when she didn’t speak up. He’d called her thick as a joke, but maybe... “Oi! Just make me spell it out, why don’t you? I fancy you, (Y/N)!”

Oliver Wood just confessed attraction to her. Was it some sort of joke? (Y/N) obviously had a crush on him, plenty of girls in their year did. She felt a little silly for being so oblivious, but most guys adopted her as a little sister of sorts. She’d had a few boyfriends here and there, but it wasn’t like they were lining up for her. And there she stood shocked and confused, “If this is a joke it’s not very funny.”

Oliver chuckled at the girl, she was still there so that must’ve been a good sign. “I’m not joking.”

“Why would fancy me? You guys said I looked like a first year yesterday.” She crossed her arms. Of course she wanted Oliver to like her, but something didn’t seem to add up.

“That one was a joke! And I didn’t say anything I just laughed,” He defended himself, but he supposed that didn’t make him sound much better. “I like your size... I think it’s cute.”

Honestly, (Y/N) had grown tired of being called ‘cute’, but she didn’t mind it that much when he said it. There was only one logical response to this in her mind (although there probably were a few more ways in all actuality). She grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to one of the benches where she promptly stood on top of one. Oliver smiled a bit, catching onto her plan, "You know you could've just asked me and I would-"

(Y/N) cut him off, he was being annoying anyhow. Her lips crashed against his and Oliver immediately a wave of relief crash over him. The doubt that had still lingered in his mind was long gone and all that he could focus on was what happening. He'd held the desire to kiss the girl in front of him for so long and now that he could feel her lips against his, he didn't want to feel anything else.

(Y/N) placed her hands on his chest, firm and still damp (up until that moment she'd somehow forgotten about the lack of clothing he was wearing). She knew this was highly inapproptiate and if McGonagall had any idea what her two students were currently up to she'd have their heads.... or at least a month of detention and quite a few house points. Call it teenage rebellion or maybe just lust, but it only fueled the desire to keep going. Oliver felt the same and pulled her flush against him, his hands felt so large against her clothed body that she shuddered to think what they might feel like against her skin.

For a first kiss, it was quite efficient, their mouths moved in tandom like they like dance partners that had been working together for years. Before she even really aware of what she was doing, (Y/N) found herself shedding her clothes (Oliver helping her out), it wasn't long at all before she'd practically caught up with the boy. She stood before him in nothing but her knickers, and perhaps she might've felt a little embarrassed baring herself in front of one of her closest friends, but Oliver didn't give her much of chance to even think those silly thoughts before his hands and lips were exploring her body.

How they’d gone all this time without each other seemed like a mystery that couldn’t be solved at the moment. Oliver lifted her up, a task easily accomplished given her stature and his training, and instinctively (Y/N) wrapped herself around searching for stability that she easily found. She arched herself into him involuntarily when her back hit the cold wall; the action earning a groan from Oliver.

Fred and George waited and watched from behind the stands. When (Y/N) and Oliver both exited the locker room hand in hand and foolish grins on their faces, their faces lit up. Oh the material they’d have to torment them! Honestly they hoped the couple wouldn’t even bother trying to deny it, they didn’t seem to bother trying to cover it up, or at least the twins assumed by the state of their hair. “Georgie, you owe me a galleon!”

[megumis-lashes]

Hi can I request Megumi with a very touchy crush

Megumi with a touchy crush HCs!

Fushiguro Megumi x Reader ^^

An: Hello! Sorry for the late response but I hope you can enjoy this anyways! Since it’s not specified I made this headcannons since that was easier! If you want anything different in future requests please specify at least: format, POV and gender! If you don’t I’ll just do whatever ^^

Contains: Touchy reader/physical contact, Megumi x reader, written with a female reader in mind but generally left as gn!, angst if you squint lol, possibly mistakes as my genius self is writing this at like 12am, just fluffff :) oh and you’re shorter than Megumi lol. (Oh and sorry if Megumi is a tad OOC in the drabble cuz his reactions can be tricky to write for 😅)

Word Count: 1.7k (I got carried away once again lol)

Soooo.... Megumi with a touchy crush? Sign me up!

Now we all know that Megumi is rather reserved and pretty straight forward so I think at first his reaction to your touchiness may be a bit awkward

Not awkward in the sense that he’s uncomfortable being around you but more as in he’s a bit.... shy

He’s not adjusted to receiving a lot of physical contacts so initially, he wasn't quite sure how to react 

His overall awkwardness really depends on how long he’s known you 

If he just met you during high school he would probably be a bit shocked at how comfortable you were with casual physical affection

While you would think nothing of it and treated practically everyone you knew (and were comfortable with) like this, Megumi would still be surprised 

While Yuuji and Nobara would adjust to your touchiness quite quickly, Megumi would probably stay blushy about it for a month or so until he wouldn't think much about it anymore 

it’d be a bit different if he knew you for a while or even knew you as childhood friends

Typically being touchy doesn't become a habit overnight sooo he’d be a lot more used to it and barely think about it 

I don’t see him as one to openly accept or adjust to physical affection without being a bit shy 

He’d probably tease you or question you about it from time to time and be one to begrudgingly accept affection 

Totally be one to act really annoyed by your touchiness but in reality, he treasures the soft moments away from danger 

All of this would change when he realizes he has a crush on you though :0

Cue blushy, awkward Megumi and oblivious you featuring another oblivious idiot, Yuuji, and an all-knowing Nobara 

Megumi isn’t one to develop crushes immediately or overnight since he must value that person’s personality most of all 

He thought of you as purely platonically within these first few months of knowing you untilllll his brain just clicked 

He was like.... ‘Oh shoot... I have a crush....”

Having a crush is refreshing for Megumi but also quite distracting with how touchy you are

Instead of just ignoring the affection or casually playing it off, Megumi forgets how to react 

Now he knows that deep down he really likes receiving affection from you cuz he realized how he likes you more than just a companion or classmate  

Cue Megumi being 10 times more awkward than usual 

Normally if you were to walk up to him and throw your arm over his shoulder playfully or something like that he’d either ignore it, pretend it's not happening or just playfully shove your arm off his shoulder 

Now he just freezes and is like ‘oh what to do’

Would be that person who googles ‘how to act normally around your crush’ but at the same time think its stupid and stop reading the article like five minutes in lol

He’d probably have one of two reactions: 

Cease to function and just stand awkwardly still or

Awkwardly pull away 

...

Now as much as Megumi pretends to hate your touchiness, you do know that he’s okay with you playing around so this reaction is pretty unusual

You probably are a little confused as to why he’s acting like this 

Like huhh????? I thought we were good?????

Cue Megumi continuing to be awkward for a while 

Everyone became more awkward than usual since that day because the friendly atmosphere was put off due to Megumi being even more closed off than usual

He practically avoids you at this point

Ofc you start to feel bad about it

Like did you do something wrong??? Take it too far?? 

Touchiness has always been in your nature and seeing someone react so sharply to it makes you feel insecure about your habits so you lessen the touchiness within the friend group

and everyone notices

Yuuji misses your playfulness and Megumi is simply overwhelmed and lost within his own thoughts and emotions 

Nobara is the most.... suspicious 

While examining Megumi lately (not in a weird way she swears) she noticed the sudden change in behavior 

That’s when she realized ‘Does the Fushiguro Megumi have a crush????’ 

Ofc her curiosity gets the best of her so she just has to question Megumi 

So she does

After a small mission the team had gone on, she asked Megumi to talk 

‘So promise to answer truthfully.’

‘Yes I promise” 

‘Do you have a crush on Y/N?’

“Huh’ Megumi deadpans. This came out of nowhere 

As much as he wishes to play it cool and dismiss the girl’s thoughts, he physically cannot and instead goes into blushy cannot function mode

Nobara takes notice to this immediately

‘Aha! So I was correct! Take that Yuuji!’

Yes they totally made bets on this 

Once again Megumi is lost 

‘Huh? Bets on what?”

‘Bets on what?”Are you seriously that oblivious? On your crush! It’s so obvious it’s painful!” She sighed dramatically

Now Megumi is even more lost 

Like sure he was confused about where his crush stands but he wasn’t aware that he was obvious????

Nobara goes on to explain how stiffly he reacts to your touches and how his blush doesn’t really go unnoticed 

She also explains how you were moping around lately cuz you thought you made him uncomfortable

Shocked at this new found information he rushed out of their real quick to go... idk possibly confess but be more focused on apologizing 

AN: Here’s a quick scenario in first person of how that would go since I have zero self-control :0 

I was settled on the small bed in my school dorm room. Placed upon a stack of pillows was my laptop, through which played whatever random Netflix show I chose. It didn’t really matter what it was as the media was quickly discarded by my mind and treated as background noise. My mind was swimming with rather..intrusive thoughts. As much as I wanted to relax and shut off my mind for the night I simply couldn’t. My thoughts continued to drift back to a certain ravenette and the issues that had circled around him for a while now. Fushiguro Megumi, a boy I met a few years back when beginning jujutsu. We were friends... or at least I considered us friends and I had taken quite a liking to the boy. Despite his distant and rather closed off personality, I had developed a casual and comfortable bond with the male... or so I thought. All changed when he started acting strangely, almost as if I had hurt him or bothered him a little too much with my habits. Admittedly I was a bit hurt over Megumi’s actions but I was more confused. I had always been touchy, so why the sudden reaction to it? 

As if the world was messing with me, a knock sounding from my dorm room door shook me from my train of thought. 

“Coming!” I quickly pushed the blankets and began walking towards the door. The person behind that door was definitely not who I was expecting. Behind the door stood Megumi Fushiguro, pacing lightly as his hand slightly ruffled his hair.

“Megumi?! Did you need something?” It was strange to see Megumi at my door as it was nearing 9 PM and he was usually one to avoid unnecessary intrusions. 

“Oh hi Y/N. Sorry to bother you so late but I’ve come to apologize..” He explained, carding his hand through his hair nervously.

“Apologize for what exactly?” I questioned.

“For how I’ve been acting lately..” He stated. I shook my head. 

“Ahh about that... I’ve been meaning to ask you something..” I mumbled. “Megumi.. do I uhh.. make you uncomfortable? I mean I know I’m kinda touchy and I’ve noticed that you uh don’t-”

“No no no! That's what I’m here to clear up about... Look it's not what you think! You don’t make me uncomfortable I’ve just been too focused on my own thoughts to realize why you may think that...’ We’re both way too oblivious’ or at least that’s what Nobara says..” He trailed off. I sighed in relief. I was happy, albeit a bit confused but still happy that he didn’t despise me. 

“Ok ok.. I’m glad you don’t hate me at least!” I smiled, throwing my arm around his shoulder as I did in the past. “I do have one question though!”

“Ask away.” He quietly chuckled, finally at ease in my touches. 

“What do you mean ‘we’re both oblivious’? And what does Nobara have to do with this?” I questioned, leaning my head onto the taller male’s shoulder. His eyes widened a bit as he glanced away awkwardly. 

“Well, you see... I don’t really know how to say this but..” 

“Just spit it out already!” I playfully slapped his back. 

“I have a crush on you...” He mumbled looking away. 

“....huh” I deadpanned. “That’s why you were awkward all of a sudden? All because you like me? Wait you like me?!” I shook my head, leaving the casual embrace we had settled into. 

“Yeah... that’s not a bad thing is it?” He questioned, once again rubbing at his neck nervously.

“No no of course not!” I waved dramatically. “I’ll let you know that I like you too! Quite a lot actually!” I chuckled thinking of Nobara’s words. “Now I understand what she was saying about obliviousness... Now that I think about it you were sooo obvious! I'm ashamed that I didn’t notice sooner.” I sighed, coming down from my small laughing fit. 

“ Hey well, I didn’t know how to act! I was trying my best ok....” He mumbled. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his left cheek, chuckling at his blushy reaction. 

“Don’t worry about it! I mean we cleared everything up didn’t we?” I pondered.

“So uhh.. do you wanna be my girlfriend then?” He questioned, looking as flustered as ever. 

“I’d love that!” I smiled. Glancing at my watch my eyes widened. 

“Hey, it's getting late! Why don’t you come watch Netflix with me yeah?!” I pulled the ravenette into my dorm, leaving him little time to respond.  That night we drifted off together surrounded by the noise of old Netflix movies and warmed by the feeling of love. 

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 04

Characters: Kim Seokjin x reader

Word count: 8.6 k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Genre: Adventure, fluff, angst

Notes: Omg I actually forgot twice in a row to post this LOL. It’s getting posted now at least!! I feel like I’ve had the sort of week where I’m extra tired. Idk.

Anyway I’ve been writing these HP prompts people sent in recently and I’m having so much fun! If you’re someone who sent it in, I promise I got your prompt! I’m just slowly but surely making my way through!!

Tags: @blue1928​

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

It’s clear that you’re on your best behaviour after Jin agrees to travel with you. 

After your detour to rescue Jin, the river is now a seven day walk away. A few days’ worth of hiking will take the three of you to a village on the outskirts of the forest, where you will be able to purchase a second bedroll and more food and water supplies. After that, it is a steady trek past the Mountains of Delaria, at the foot of which you will be able to see the radiant night sky, clearer than in any other part of the realm. Following that, it is a hike through the murky swamplands, and then finally once the three of you cross the golden plains, which grow many unique species of metallic flora, you will finally reach the edge of the river. 

One would think that you’d be excited to be on such a journey, especially given the motives that went into going on it in the first place, but instead you are intent on making Jin feel like you’re an overbearing bodyguard instead of his friend. He feels like at any moment in time you are one leaf crackle away from pulling out a broomstick and sweeping a clear path through the forest for him to walk down. You flinch at the slightest thing- a bug lands on him and you feel the need to do a full body check for injuries. A twig pokes him and you’re ready to pull out a flame thrower. It’s clear you’re on some kind of self-assigned mission.

And it’s sweet, it is. If he stops and thinks about it, you’re obviously trying to make up for past transgressions. It’s nice, to know that you value him enough that his harsh words are motivation to treat him better rather than just cutting him out of your life. 

But. For goodness’ sake. It’s getting to be a little out of hand. 

“You’re shivering.” Jin groans, his voice raspy with sleep. You turn your head from where you are huddled at the base of a tree to where Jin has raised his head from his lying position to glare at you. He’d only been joking when he agreed to take your bedroll, but you’d insisted. And now it’s been a few hours and it’s not like he can get a wink of sleep with you shivering from cold a few metres away.

“I’m not.” You insist through chattering teeth, even as you hug your knees closer to your chest and release an indignant exhale that puffs against the cold air in a cloud. Jungkook, who is sound asleep in the pocket of your jacket, releases a loud snore. Jin groans and sits up, swaddled warmly in your bedroll. 

“I told you to take the bedroll!” He snaps. He doesn’t mean to be quite so harsh in his tone, and he instantly regrets it when you cower like a scolded puppy. It’s too reminiscent of times past. He always makes you flinch away when he’s just trying to make you understand. Why he’s worried. Why the things you do are reckless. What it means to the people who love you were they to lose you. But he can’t seem to separate the fear and anger that comes with that sentiment and what has resulted is you constantly thinking he hates you. Which isn’t true! He’s not mad and he doesn’t hate you... he just feels bad. And in all honesty... You can’t honestly expect him to sleep peacefully when he knows you’re miserable, can you?

“You said you wouldn’t sleep on the forest floor and I don’t have enough money for that inn we passed.” You mumble. You’re no weakling. You had promised yourself this was going to be the best trip of Jin’s life and so that’s what it’s going to be. You weren’t about to make him sleep in the cold when you’d dragged him to this realm against his will in the first place. Jin is silent for a moment, scrubbing a hand over his face. 

“I didn’t want you to give up your bedroll. I thought you were only joking when you said that.” He mumbles, shuffling closer. He stares at you for a long moment. He’s been procrastinating bringing this up with you all day because honestly, he feels awkward and he doesn’t know where he stands with you. Everything is weird and messed up- there’s so much history and hard feelings between the two of you, but at the same time you both care too much to give up. What has resulted is this weird limbo where the two of you are walking on eggshells around each other. But he doesn’t think he can last another moment of your overbearing actions, let alone another few weeks.

“Listen, (Y/N), I get that you want me to have a good time on this trip. I do. But really, you don’t have to try so hard. I actually would not enjoy it if you froze to death when there’s a perfectly good bedroll for you to use right here.” You bite your lip and stare at Jin. His hair is messy, and his eyes are squinted from sleep. He’s rolled up in your bedroll like a burrito and he looks comfortable and warm. You’re struck by the thought that it would be nice to curl up beside him, but you push the thought down as quickly as it arrives- you’re good at pushing away those kind of intrusive thoughts.

It’s difficult to articulate the feelings that have you on edge, but they largely come down to this: You don’t want Jin to keep seeing you as a burden. It’s not like it’s new news- a certain incident in highschool springs to mind- but it’s never occurred to you until his outburst just how frustrated he is by your relationship. But now that you know, you cannot bear the thought. The bruises and swelling have long vanished. Those are the last remnants of the attack on him by the Saishtas, but though they are almost gone, every now and then you see him stretch his shoulder in discomfort and you are reminded anew; to Jin, you are a pain. An inconvenience. An unwanted responsibility.

“I know.” You finally say. “But I really, really want you to have a good time. I don’t want you to keep thinking of me as this annoying brat you have to look after all the time.”

That’s why you asked him to come with you to see the river. You want to prove to him on this trip that he doesn’t have to constantly be responsible for you. You’re not an untrained puppy. And, if you’re being really honest, you want to go back. To the times before things got messed up between the two of you. Back to when you were kids and your biggest concern was what bugs you would catch at the river near your village or who could climb to the treetops faster. You just... you keep remembering his face, the night your mother announced her engagement, and his words won’t stop playing on repeat in your head. “I’ve let you step all over me our whole lives”, he had said. You... don’t want to be that person to him. Not anymore. 

Jin feels guilt eat at him when your brow furrows. It’s clear that his earlier words to you at the portal are affecting you profoundly. Which had never been his intention- he had been hurt and confused and had lashed out. He doesn’t actually think you’re selfish and immature. You have your moments, for sure, and he’s not about to go singing your praises off roof tops any time soon, but the level of guilt and self-loathing you are experiencing in response to his earlier outburst is more than he intended. 

You flinch when you feel pressure at the space between your brows. Jin is pressing his index finger into the crease that has formed there in your moping.

“Relax.” He sighs. “You know we could have just shared?”

He unzips the sleeping bag and spreads it and shuffles forward until he can spread it over the two of you like a blanket. He leans against the tree trunk you rest against as well. You find yourself huddling in closer to him, just on instinct, because as embarrassing as it is to admit to yourself, you’re freezing. And Jin’s body heat feels like the inside of a toaster.

Jin clears his throat awkwardly. He hadn’t expected you to cave quite so easily and curl into him like that. A peaceful moment of silence lingers in the air, however, until he breaks it.

“(Y/N).” He says slowly. “I know things have been awkward between us, and I know that over the past few days we’ve said a lot of things to each other, but I want you to know you don’t have to try so hard.” 

“I do.” You insist. “Jin... every word you said about me earlier was true. I’ve been so selfish, and immature and you’re the one who’s had to suffer because of that.”

Jin chews at the inside of his cheek for a moment, before dropping his gaze. 

“I was wrong to say those things.” He finally says. “You can be immature and selfish sometimes, but I shouldn’t have said it like that. And I shouldn’t have said those things about your father. I know... I know you’re trying, (Y/N). And it probably seems like I’m really harsh on you and only seem to nag you all the time, but that’s because I know you’re so much more than what you let yourself be. So please. Just relax, and be yourself. I’ve known with you my whole life- I don’t want a personality transplant.”

When he finally gathers the courage to look at you again, you are gazing up at him with round, watery eyes. The look in your eyes is a little overwhelming. It’s the same look you always give him; like he’s a hero, who can only do right. He bites his lip- there it is again. That urge, to live up to the image he knows you have of him in your head. 

“I never thanked you, you know.” He says suddenly, changing the subject in an attempt to overcome that urge. You merely continue to gaze up at him. Jin is always handsome in a way that is otherworldly, but up close he’s simply overwhelming. You can just barely make out his face, but even in the meagre light, your heart still does a weird pulse against your ribs when you meet his dark eyes.

“For what?” You finally say, and it’s a struggle for you to keep your voice even under the weight of his gaze. He shrugs and smiles, pulling you in close enough that you have to shift to avoid crushing Jungkook in your pocket. 

“For saving me.” He says. “I think I was too shocked earlier to say it, but I really thought I was going to die back there. So, thank you.” 

“You were in trouble because of me.” You point out. “It wasn’t bravery. If anything had happened to you, it would have been my fault.” 

Jin nods, pressing his lips together awkwardly. He doesn’t know what he can say to convince you otherwise, so he forgoes giving you an answer. Instead, he reaches his hand up to press against the side of your head until you are forced to rest lay your head down against his shoulder. 

“Go to sleep, (Y/N).” He whispers. “We’ve got a long journey ahead of us.” 

He feels your body relax beside him, and your head sinks against him. He cannot resist the smile that slides onto his face, and he turns his head away, lest you look up and see it. He’s missed moments like these. They are few and far between, especially as of late since you’ve been avoiding him more and more. In the silence that follows, he thinks you may have finally fallen asleep, but then you break it.

“Jin.” You say softly. The words are hardly more than a whisper, almost lost in the exhale of your breath. If he weren’t a guardian with enhanced hearing, he surely would have missed them. 

“Yeah?” He asks, allowing his head to drop so that it rests against the crown of your head. Tomorrow he will wake up with a kink in his neck, but it’s almost worth it.

“I’ve been avoiding you.” The confession holds a lot of weight for you. For just yesterday, you had had every intention of letting Jin fade from your life. Of letting your insecurities and sense of inferiority guide you. You had hated him, the way he made you feel, the way that you could never be around him without remembering all the ways in which you did not and could not measure up to him and the kind of people he liked to keep company with. But at the same time... you cannot hate him. You want to despise him, to let the feelings of jealousy and misery consume you, to continue to mope if your pity party, but this is Jin. The person who has been there for you in your darkest moments even if he did not want to be. The man who could not leave you, even when he should have. The man who had cradled you like you were something precious as you fell through into this realm.

“I know.” He sighs, turning his head away to gaze up at the fractured glimpses of the stars above. “I was letting you.” He confesses right back to you. The words hover between you and it forces you to confront how messed up the relationship has become between you. If you continue to do nothing about it, you really will lose him. 

But you don’t want that to happen. You know that now, after everything the two of you have endured together. You want him in your life. And it’s not too late to fix it all. You really, truly believe that.

“But I don’t want to avoid you anymore.” You announce, and Jin snorts. 

“I figured, since you pretty much begged me to spend the next two weeks with you and the fruit fly.” He observes, and you smile and look away. “Now go to sleep. We have nearly two weeks of hiking ahead of us and I have every intention of making you carry me if my feet hurt.” He sniffs. You can’t resist one last parting shot before allowing yourself to drift off, however. 

“Thank you.” You call softly, right when he thinks you’ve fallen asleep. He stirs slightly and glances down at you in surprise. You shift and peer up at him with sleepy but warm eyes.  And something about the look makes his throat feel tight and the tips of his ears feel hot and he is once again struck by the thought that you suddenly don’t look like the annoying little girl that he’s known all his life. 

Sleep doesn’t come easy to him that night. He’s not really sure why, other than the fact that he feels strangely aware of the way the warmth of your body spreads to his beneath the cover of the bed roll, and the way your shoulders rise and fall in steady comforting breaths. It must eventually lull him to sleep, however, for when he rouses, you are still fast asleep, but Jungkook peers at him with amusement from his position on Jin’s outstretched knee. Jungkook lies flat on his stomach which his legs kicked up in the air like he is a young girl at a sleepover about to spill the secrets of her latest crush to her friends. 

The pleased, almost catlike smile Jungkook gives as he rests his chin in his hands and kicks his legs back and forth has Jin instantly on his guard. He and the oversized mosquito don’t get along at the best of times, and Jin knows Jungkook well enough to discern that a look like that on the pesky pixie’s face only spells trouble for Jin. 

“So...” Jungkook begins, drawing out the “so” for an obnoxiously long amount of time. Beside him, you still snooze peacefully, unaware of the trouble that is about to unfold. Jin shifts slightly so that he is in prime position to glare at Jungkook with full power, taking care not to jostle your head where it rests against his shoulder. 

“What?” Jin asks. To his credit, he doesn’t snap or anything like that, which is rare when it comes to Jungkook. He has the unique ability make Jin lose his temper, which is usually a rare occurrence. (Excluding any involvement with you, of course) 

“Nothing. You just look very comfortable.” Jungkook observes, with a pointed look at your sleeping form. You shift and tuck your head more securely against Jin. His gaze flicks back for a moment, distracted by the movement, and when he turns back to Jungkook, Jungkook’s tiny smile has widened. 

“Jungkook...” Jin calls warningly, although he is unsure as to what he is cautioning Jungkook against with the edge in his tone. He just knows that he will not like whatever comes out of Jungkook’s mouth next. 

“When’s...” Jungkook has to pause in a fit of snickering, struggling to get the words out because he really thinks he’s that funny. “When’s the wedding?”

Jin is silent at Jungkook’s little joke, and Jin’s lack of response has Jungkook almost rolling off Jin’s knee with the force of his guffaws. The noise is loud enough to cause you to stir in your sleep. Jin ignores this, however, because he knows from past experiences that your bed could literally be on fire and you’d remain asleep. 

When Jungkook finally calms down enough to stop laughing, he pauses at the glare present on Jin’s face. 

“What?” He questions, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Is it really that offensive?” Then his expression turns mischievous. “Does it hit too close to home? Me implying you like her in that way?” His wings raise him up in the air so that he is eye level with Jin, and he lounges mid-air, idly examining his nails. 

“No.” Jin snaps, shifting uncomfortably. The weight of your head against him, previously comforting, now seems to weigh him down. He feels pinned in place, and his lungs feel stiff like they are refusing to expand. “I’m just astounded at how you can make such a ridiculous joke. I’d never like her.”

Jungkook shrugs, spinning around in the air so that his back points to the ground like he’s lying in a hammock, and folds his arms behind his head. 

“I mean if you’d seen the look on your face when she got sucked into the portal, you’d probably be thinking the same thing as me.” Jungkook points out. Jin grits his teeth- he cannot explain the sudden unease he feels, the way Jungkook’s words seem to burrow under his skin and make the world seem off-kilter. It’s not like people haven’t made jokes about him liking you before- some of his exes have even dumped him because they were so unsure about how he felt towards you. But this makes him uncomfortable, for some reason. The way that Jungkook watches him, seemingly nonchalant, but concealing sharp, observant eyes, just gets to him.

“Wouldn’t you have been concerned if your friend was getting sucked into a dangerous portal?” Jin retorts, oddly defensive. Jungkook taps his fingers ponderingly against his chin. 

“My friends are you, Taehyung and (Y/N).” Jungkook reminds him. “You’re literally members of the most feared species in this entire realm. I wouldn’t have to feel concerned. But that’s off topic anyway. Even if I were hypothetically human and could have something like a friend... I don’t think I would have pulled the same face you did in that moment.” He sits up and meets Jin’s gaze steadily. He’s serious in a way that Jin has never really seen Jungkook be before. “You looked like your entire world was about to end.” 

Jin is silent because he has no defence against Jungkook’s observations. He’d looked that way because he’d felt that way. He’d tried so hard, in that moment, to walk away from you. To leave you to your own devices. But then he’d been struck by that feeling- the fear of losing you. Of not having you in his life. It’s a similar feeling to dangling over cliff face by his fingertips.

“I’m just saying,” Jungkook announces, as reclines lazily in the air once more. “You go on dates with literally any female with a pulse... why not with the most convenient female you know?”

Jin stares in consternation at Jungkook because he is absolutely floored by the absurdity of Jungkook’s statement. Dating you would be anything but convenient. It would be the most troublesome, headache inducing investment of his life.

Suddenly, you shift once more, bringing up a hand to curl into the material of Jin’s shirt, and he allows his gaze to fix on you, on the way hair hangs in your face and your lashes rest against the apples of your cheeks. Dating you is amongst the stupidest suggestions Jungkook has ever made. Because dating you means... well, because it means risking you. Risking you seeing him differently, risking you seeing all the ugly things about his personality that you’re currently blind to... it means risking your position in his life. Because as it stands, you are already avoiding him and pulling away from him - if he were to date you and then things didn’t work out... he’d never see you again. 

This is all hypothetical of course. Jin isn’t even interested in dating you. He doesn’t and probably never will see you in that way. 

“Listen, Jungkook,” Jin finally says. “Maybe you got the wrong idea, but let me make it clear for you: I have never, and will never see (Y/N) in that way. She’s just someone I have a responsibility towards; nothing more, nothing less. Besides, back home I have a queue of women waiting for me- do you really think I’d settle for someone like her?”

The words sound harsh and rattle around in the air and Jin regrets them as soon as he says them. But he can’t take them back, once he’s said them, and the words are true. Or at least, they have to be true. Jungkook shrugs like he couldn’t care less, which, really, based off Jin’s knowledge of Jungkook, is probably true. 

“If you say so.” Jungkook says dismissively, and Jin is saved any further answer or uncomfortable answer by you rousing slowly. You blink sleepily at Jin a few times, and he only just manages to catch you by the forehead when you go to lean your head back against him and settle back into sleep. 

“Not so fast.” Jin scolds, secretly grateful for the distraction and wanting to dwell on something other than the unpleasant churning in his stomach Jungkook’s words have triggered. “No more sleeping.”

You groan and push away from Jin, ready to curl up on the forest floor. 

And Jin misses the disbelieving look Jungkook shoots the two of you in his distraction. Because he can’t see what Jungkook sees in that moment, and that is the thinly veiled affection and warmth that lingers in his eyes despite the scolding that follows. 

Jungkook sighs and shakes his head- Jin will figure it out eventually. 

++

The journey after that night is supposed to go smoothly. After your chat with Jin that night, you feel that a burden has lifted from your shoulders. You never realised how something as simple as talking to Jin could clear the air. It wasn’t so much the things that were said, but just the way that you now know that Jin is no longer holding it against you. It gives you hope, that things can be normal- you can be friends once again. So as the three of you set off, you expect the journey from there to be the light-hearted, soul-searching endeavour you had set out to have. 

Only, from that night Jin starts acting strange. It’s weird- you had felt so relieved and freed by your conversation, but it seems to have had the opposite effect on Jin. He is tense and cranky, always snapping at Jungkook. He’s never rude to you, at least, but he is oddly reserved. The three of you start to approach the edge of the forest- the bluish peaks of the Mountains of Delaria peak through the canopy overhead and the tree start to clear, but Jin’s mood does not seem to clear. You can’t find a cause or rational explanation for it.

Perhaps it doesn’t help that Jungkook seems to thrive on Jin’s irritation.

“I spy... with my little eye.... something starting with “T”.” Jungkook hums, right beside your ear where he is seated, cross legged on your shoulder a couple of days after that night. You spot Jin’s eye twitch slightly in the way that it does when he is really, truly annoyed. Today he has been especially on edge, and with each passing moment, Jungkook’s grin widens and Jin’s ire increases.

“Tree?” Jin suggests with gritted teeth, and Jungkook’s eyes widen. 

“Wow that’s the third time you’ve guessed it on the first go!” Jungkook cries, his voice laden with admiration. You have no doubt that it isn’t a genuine admiration. Jungkook is absolutely taking advantage of the older guardian’s foul mood.

“It’s the fourth time you’ve used “tree” as your word!” The outburst comes so suddenly that you flinch and Jungkook nearly tumbles off your shoulder. You wince- you had been trying to ease the tension that hovered in the air with a simple game, but you guess after four hours, Jin’s patience has run thin. It’s better than the conversation earlier that morning, where Jungkook was talking about his favourite romcoms and Jin’s hands kept twitching like he’s just barely restraining himself from going after the irritating creature.

“That’s not true.” Jungkook argues and you know he’s pushing it purely to be contrary. “Two rounds ago the word was “twig”!” 

You reach out hastily to plant a hand on Jin’s shoulder, hoping to placate him before he grabs Jungkook and launches him like a javelin across the forest floor. Jungkook would probably enjoy it, but you don’t know that he’d survive it. Jin blinks in surprise at your hand, like he’d forgotten you were there.

He then very subtly shrugs off your hand, in such a gentle manner that you almost feel like you imagined it. It’s weird- you don’t know why such a simple and meaningless gesture hurts, but it does. You quickly withdraw your hands and flex your fingers in an attempt to shake off the embarrassment.

“L-let’s try a different game!” You suggest in a desperate attempt to salvage things before Jin actually goes looking for bug spray. He glares at you for a moment, but then his expression softens just slightly. He takes a long, slow inhale and squeezes his eyes shut, and when he opens them again, his expression is calmer. 

“What did you have in mind?” He asks at last.

“It’s a word association game.” You explain hastily, knowing Jin’s temper is hovering by a thread and one wrong word will launch him into a Jant. “We count to three and then say the first word to come to mind. And then we have to say a word associated with the words we just said, until we guess the same word. Ready, Jungkook and I will go first, we play this game all the time.” 

You shoot Jungkook a warning glare to remind him to behave. You then inhale deeply and prepare yourself.

“Three... two... one...” you count down. “Leaf!” You cry in the same moment that Jungkook shouts “Tree!” In top volume. 

You aren’t quick enough to stop Jin when he makes a furious grab for Jungkook. You’re not sure how you get Jungkook out of that situation alive, because things go a bit blurry after that. And you still don’t have an explanation for Jin’s behaviour.

And if it were just his crankiness with Jungkook, maybe you could justify it. Jungkook, after all, is very annoying. But it’s his attitude to you that really baffles you. He suddenly treats you like you have the plague- he’ll accidentally brush your hand and then suddenly scramble away until the two of you are walking a metre apart. He refuses to share the bedroll again- instead he curls up on the cold forest floor and shivers the whole night, and any attempts to get him share like that first night have him responding with such vehemence you have to stop yourself from tearing up in hurt. You wish he’d just explain.

Finally, things come to a head right at the very edge of the forest, where the three of you will finally be able to enter a village and restock supplies and pick up another bed roll. The confrontation comes in the form of Jin screeching like his life depends on it. Of course, you are instantly on your guard, searching out the danger he faces and ready to fight off any intruders alerted to your location by his scream. But you fail to locate any obvious threats to Jin, who continues to dance about wildly, still in near hysterics. 

“What’s wrong?” You cry, managing to grab his shoulders and barely evading his swinging arms. Jin regards you with eyes on the verge of dislodging from their sockets, his face red with exertion and veins popping in his neck. And then his gaze drops down to his trouser leg. 

Instantly, the fight leaves you when you notice the most exquisite beetle you have ever had the fortune to lay eyes upon. Gaze filled with wonder, you instantly drop to a crouch and stretch your hand towards Jin’s leg, allowing the tiny creature to disembark from the dark grey fabric onto your outstretched hands. The sight of it brings back fond memories instantly, of playing in the sunshine with Taehyung, chasing such beetles in the hopes that you could keep them as pets. The term for them was “rabjou” but Taehyung and you had dubbed them “gem bugs”, for the shimmering structures that protruded from their carapaces, catching the light and scattering it in the way that a precious diamond might. You observe the shimmering ruby carapace as the beetle makes a slow march across your index finger, before turning to Jin excitedly, momentarily forgetting his odd behaviour.

“Look Jin!” You cry, holding the beetle close to him until he nearly goes cross-eyed trying to keep it in sight. “It’s a gem bug! Like the ones we used to play with when we were kids-“

“He doesn’t look so good.” Jungkook notes suddenly, in the same moment that Jin’s eyes roll into the back of his head and he crumbles in a faint. You barely have time to catch him with one arm, holding the other aloft in an attempt to protect the gembug, and it is then that you recall why Jin is not in any of your memories of the time spent chasing these bugs. 

Because he’s deathly afraid of any and all bugs. 

The bug spreads it’s wings and quickly alights from its perch upon your finger, leaving you to clean up the aftermath of its presence. You stare in horror, wondering how to handle this situation, but Jin starts to rouse a few moments later, much to your relief. His eyelids flutter and his head lolls in your arms. He blinks a few moments, staring up at you with bleary, disorientated eyes. A puzzled, dopey smile curls at his lips. But then full consciousness hits and his eyes bulge with horror.

And then he’s scrambling away from you like he’s been burnt by you. You didn’t even know the crab-like scurry he does backwards out of your arms was physically possibly. His eyes are so wide and panicked that for a second you think that maybe the bug has returned. But after a quick check over of your body for any unusual flashes of red, you realise that it’s you that Jin stares at with such alarm and panic. 

Something in you feels like it shrivels. Maybe it’s your heart. It’s hard to pinpoint the exact emotion. But just a few days ago, you had finally felt like things could be patched up between you and Jin, but now that he’s acting like this... maybe the gap is insurmountable. Maybe there’s just been too much damage. Maybe there’s no avoiding losing Jin from your life. You haven’t felt this hopeless since that incident in highschool all those years ago.

Jungkook lands on your shoulder and quirks an eyebrow when he notices the hurt expression on your face. 

“Why do you look like that?” He asks, ignoring Jin who is busying himself with getting to his feet and brushing the dirt from his clothes. 

“Like what?” You ask, quickly angling your head away. 

“I dunno... like you’re constipated or something.” He observes. “Or like someone punched you in the stomach.”

You bite your lip as you gather yourself. Jin has turned away with Jungkook’s observation. You are probably pulling that face because you are upset. But there’s no use in being hurt or frustrated by Jin’s actions- you need to understand them. You’ve spent long enough sitting and moping and being miserable, and you know now that the only way the two of you are going to get through this is if you don’t let his odd behaviour slide. You square your shoulders and stare at Jin, long and hard. His shoulders have gone tense and his back is facing you- you can see the tension written into every line of his posture. 

“Because I’m upset.” You announce assertively. You whirl on Jin, then. “What’s wrong with you?” You demand. Jin shoots a furtive glance at you and shoves his hands deep in his pockets. 

“Nothing.” He mumbles. “It was a bug.” His gaze flicks to Jungkook, who watches him curiously. You have a feeling Jin’s not talking about the gem bug. Annoyed, you step forward and press a hand onto Jin’s shoulder, forcing him to turn and face you. He avoids your gaze though- his eyes dart around like a they’re in a pinball machine, despite your best efforts to look him in the eye. 

“Jin.” You call sternly, folding your arms in what you hope is an imposing posture. Jungkook sits cross-legged on your shoulder with his ankles grasped in his hands. He looks like he’s watching an entertaining soap opera. “You need to explain. Why are you acting like this? You’re cranky with Jungkook and you’re treating me like I have the plague. Are you... are you still mad about the stuff we talked about the other night?” Your tone wavers just a little. Jin’s eyes widen and he meets your gaze. He looks so uncertain when he does so- nothing at all like the confident, clever Jin you’ve known all your life. It makes you pause. “Did... did I do something wrong?” You question and he hangs his head, scrubbing a frustrated hand over his face. 

“No! Nothing like that. I’m... I’m sorry if it feels that way.” He corrects hastily. “I just...” he buries his face in his hands and the tips of his ears go red, before he raises his gaze to glare openly at Jungkook. “Jungkook made a stupid joke and I was trying to prove him wrong. I’m sorry- it was stupid of me to take it out on you.”

You blink in confusion, while Jungkook starts snickering at Jin. You pluck Jungkook off your shoulder by the back of the tiny hoodie he’s chosen to wear today so that you can stare at him. He dangles from between your thumb and forefinger.

“What’d you say?” You question suspiciously. Jungkook shrugs and grins like you’ve just gotten him a great Christmas present. He makes no effort to break free from your hold.

“Just wanted to know when the wedding is.” He says, and he still finds the joke as funny as the first time he said it. You stare blankly at him, however. 

“What wedding? My mum’s?” You ask. Jungkook’s jaw drops. 

“No!” He cries out, as if the idea is offensive to him. “Yours! With Jin!” 

Jin has dropped his gaze and glows an interesting shade of red, and you can’t say you understand the situation. 

“We aren’t getting married though?” You point out. You shoot a look at Jin and the tips of his ears are nearly purple. They only tend to go that colour when he is really, truly embarrassed, and rare are the situations where Jin is embarrassed. “Are we?”

Jin splutters in horror for a few moments. 

“Absolutely not!” He blurts, the words choked and frantic. You’re taken aback by his vehemence. Is the concept really that horrifying? You shake the thought off as quickly as it comes and instead focus on the matter at hand; Jin was acting strangely because he was trying to prove he has no romantic feelings for you, it seems. Which... you already knew that. You’ve known that since you were in high school. You hate recalling that incident, but in that moment, it resurfaces despite your best efforts.

You had overheard him having a conversation with some of the other seniors in your school about how you how you have the same amount of appeal as an un-toilet trained puppy. Strictly “not girlfriend” material. It wasn’t a life-changing revelation or anything. And it’s not like you’d had feelings for him at the time. But you can’t deny that things had changed since that day. Jin had firmly been rooted in ‘strictly friends’ territory, and you’d been very, very careful to never let him out of the box he had placed himself in. And you’d done a really good job of never letting the memory bother you- after all, you’d long ago shirked the embarrassment and sadness of that day, and it annoys you that all these years later Jin is resurfacing the feelings of that time when you’re trying. so. hard. to fix things between you. You blink back the hurt tears that threaten to well in your eyes. You’re better than this- and you’ve never wanted him in that way, anyway. At least not since you’d overheard that conversation, you hadn’t.

“You could have just said something.” You mutter resentfully, and even you are surprised at the barely suppressed anger in your tone. Jin whips up his head like he’s been electrocuted. “Like I get it. I’m not girlfriend material. I’m not... I’m not trying to be your girlfriend anyway. And Jungkook’s a dummy who likes to push your buttons. You... I’ve been sitting here panicking over what I could have done wrong and it’s because I’m that gross to you that you need to prove to Jungkook of all people that you don’t like me?”

“Wait-“ Jin protests. “I didn’t mean it like that- I just-“ 

“It’s fine.” You cut him off and to be honest, you can’t really articulate why you’re so torn up over that. It’s not like he even did anything that bad. Just like that incident, back in highschool- he hadn’t said anything bad. He just pulls away when you touched him. He has just been making it very clear how he feels about you. But... it just feels like so much more than something simple as him not wanting to touch you. It’s not like you’re new to the idea anyway. A lot of girls in highschool and a lot of Jin’s girlfriends have always been jealous of your friendship with him and have been quick to point out the ways in which he clearly views you as a friend. And it’s not like you wanted anything more. Or well, maybe a small part of you did, but you were also smarter than that. You had better things to worry about then the fact that Jin doesn’t like you. And everything you’re doing is because you want him back as a friend. You’re not greedy. But... something still hurts. Even after all these years. Even hearing it afresh. “Just forget it. It’s not a big deal. We can just... go back to normal.” 

Not that you even know what normal is with Jin at the moment. Everything is so off-kilter and you’re so confused by everything. You swallow deeply, willing the hurt feelings away. 

“(Y/N),” Jin calls guiltily. 

You wince- not because of the tone of his voice, however. You wince because in the next moment you feel a weird stabbing sensation in the side of your neck. Confused, you raise your hand to your neck. What you find there is an odd, feathered device, tapered to a sharp point that is currently speared into the muscle of your neck. Jin’s eyes widen as he stares as it, and you pull it from your neck. You wince as blood droplets start to flow down the side of your neck. The feathers are a brilliant red, the colour of blood, and the thin pointed tip glistens with your blood. You’ve never seen anything like it, and a weird nauseous feeling floods through you, starting at the wound in the side of your neck and flushing outwards.

“Is that...” Jungkook questions, but then Jin is interrupting him with a pained cry. He flinches violently as a feather device whistles through the air and lodges in the side of his neck. He mirrors your actions- he plucks it from his neck and scrutinises it. You don’t think he’s realised it, but he’s started to sway a bit, much like you have. The nauseous feeling worsens, and Jin has gone pale.

“I think it’s a…” Jin trails away, squinting his eyes and shaking his head as he struggles to focus on it. His voice starts to slur. “It’s a tranquiliser dart-“

The three of you exchange fearful glances and that’s really all you have time to do before your vision swims. And then everything goes black. 

++

When you come to, you are instantly struck with the thought that there have been far too many kidnappings on this trip. You groan in pain, your head still swimming, and find that you have been restrained. Blinking open your eyes, you’re in some kind of encampment- the ground is thick and sponge-y and the houses seem to be made from woven twigs. If you had to describe it… they were almost like birds’ nests. The area is darkened- the foliage here is thicker and almost entire blocks out any light. Lanterns of blues and pinks line the path to compensate for the lack of light. On the edge of the area you see a muddy creek curling around the encampment. It’s more swamp-y than the forest you lost consciousness in.

Behind you, Jin also groans, and that’s when you realise you’ve been tied so you’re back to back with him. Neither of you can move your arms. And there’s a noticeable lack of the sound of fluttering wings. Your eyes go wide.

“Jin,” You gasp in horror. He grunts, trying to adjust his position so he’s more comfortable but he just ends up pushing you forwards. “Where’s Jungkook?”

“The pixie is here.” An unfamiliar, high-pitched voice calls. Your eyes widen at the interruption, and you turn your head to find a humanoid figure. Well, humanoid in that it stands on two legs and seems to have functioning arms. But if you were being pedantic about what living creature it resembles, you would have to say it’s more birdlike. Complete with a thick, yellow-ish beak like it’s an eagle, and brightly coloured plumage coating its entire body, apart from the white feathered head. It wears clothes- loose, airy fabrics like it’s straight out of a live-action adaptation of Aladdin, in a rich purple that compliments the bright red of its feathers. A brilliant plume of feathers sprouts from the top of its head and flows downwards like a waterfall. And held aloft in a clawed hand, protruding from the appendage that is a weird cross of an arm and a wing, is a small glass jar, with Jungkook snoozing obliviously within its depths.

“Jungkook!” You cry. Your eyes widen in horror. You immediately begin to scrabble around wildly, but with your arms pinned to your side with the coarse rope, and your back planted against Jin’s, you realise you aren’t going anywhere any time soon. You gaze around the camp, suddenly aware that this bird creature is not the only one- the sensation of being watched creeps along your skin and dozens of pairs of golden eyes peer at you, concealed safely in the shadows of the camp.

“Give him back!” You demand. Your feet stir up the soft, loamy soil you are seated upon as you kick about wildly, trying to stand, or loosen the bindings that hold you in place. Jungkook is no doubt the most annoying being in existence, but he’s also a precious friend and you couldn’t stand if anything happened to him.

“Calm down, Guardian.” The imposing, birdlike creature calls. “We will return this creature to you, eventually. We needed some leverage for you to hear out our request, for we knew we could not bind you for long.”

And it’s right- already with your frantic flailing, the ropes have started to fray and stretch. Jin does not seem to be as panicked as you, but he does remain still in a way that allows you to pull forward against the bindings, stretching them forward.

“Will you hurt him?” You demand. The bird-like creature turns sharp, hawklike eyes to the jar, peering curiously at the unconscious pixie.

“We will hurt him if you give us reason to hurt him.” It finally answers, tilting its head at you. The move is quick and fluid, like the way an owl’s head flicks around easily as it watches for prey.

“Hypothetically,” Jin cuts in quickly. “What would it take for you to deal with him without a reason from us? Just hypothetically.”

His back is to you, so he doesn’t see the way you glare, but you quickly turn your attention back to the bird-person, gazing up with imploring eyes.

“Anything. We’ll do anything- please. Don’t hurt him.” You beg. You are surprised by the ferocity of the protectiveness you now feel. The only time you have felt a similar amount of concern for him is the time he almost got eaten by a dog. The bird-creature glares down at you for a moment, still dangling the jar with Jungkook in it by the handle. It then combs its claws before the brilliant crest of feathers that flows from the top of its head and cascades down its body like a ponytail and steps forward. It crouches down low until it is eye-level with you.

“The two of you have brought the Saishtas into our territory.” It informs you. “And the Forest Spirit hates Saishtas. They are a foul, disrespectful beast and have been corrupting our swamplands.”

You cower away slightly- the sharp tip of the beak that hovers centimetres from the bridge of your nose could easily gouge out your eye and you’d be defenceless to stop it if this creature choose to do such a horrible thing. You can feel the way Jin’s back has gone rigid with tension behind you.

It straightens then, walking around the two of you to peer curiously at Jin. You crane your neck, trying to keep it in sight, but you can’t turn your head around far enough. Instead you feel Jin flinch.

“Our chief went to placate the Forest Spirit, and she has been taken captive. Luckily for us, two guardians came stumbling in our territory like it were designed by the fates.” It comes back around to face you and folds its feathered arms. The feathers flare outwards like sleeves of a baggy coat. “Rescue her, and we will return your… pixie to you.”

You glare at the creature, staring forlornly at Jungkook. It’s a dangerous request this bird is making. In theory, you could probably snap these ropes with enough exertion and make a grab for Jungkook. But you do not know why he is asleep or what measures they have put in place to ensure you can’t take Jungkook back by force. And you can’t risk his safety.

“What if we don’t want the pixie bac-“ Jin starts, but is quickly cut off by you throwing your head back to headbutt the back of his head. “Ouch! I just meant hypothetically- I was reviewing all our options before we-“

“We’ll do it.” You say hastily. “We agree to your terms. We’ll rescue your chief. Just please… don’t hurt him.”

Something in the posture of the bird-creature softens.

“Of course we get captured by Psittanurans.” Jin mutters resentfully as the creature, a Psittanuran if Jin is to be trusted, bows deeply to you. “Just our luck.”

“You have our word.” The Psittanuran informs you, ignoring Jin’s mumble. “We will not allow harm to come to the pixie, so long as you do not allow harm to come to our chief.”

It makes an odd, clicking noise, snapping its beak together and two more Psittanurans appear, wielding knives. They are in similar attire, brightly coloured, airy clothes, but all are in slightly different colours. One’s feathers are warm, an earthy brown with a deep pink plume of feathers atop the crown of its head, while the other is a midnight blue, like a peacock. They make quick work of releasing the bindings around you, and you and Jin quickly get to your feet. Jin rubs at his arms, looking quite sulky- he’s probably upset over being kidnapped yet again.

You glare at the main bird, the instigator, as it steps out towards you and reaches a clawed talon towards you. It presses the tip to your forehead, and you wince at the slight pressure.

And then your eyes widen as images flood your head- a dark cave, a bone white cliffside, their chief held captive, and Saishtas, lurking behind every corner. And the whole time, an overcast presence lurking behind every step of the journey- you can feel its churning fury, bubbling beneath the surface, and you shudder. When you open your eyes, the Psittanuran gazes down at you curiously.

“Do you understand what you must do?” It asks. Your heartbeat is in your throat and you’ve broken out in a cold sweat- you are not sure you have the strength to overcome this beast, let alone rescue the chief. Your gaze flicks to Jungkook, who has been so soundly asleep that you suspect it is actually some form of enchantment that keeps him slumbering.

Jin must sense your fear because you feel his hand slip into yours. His palms are slick with sweat, and there’s a slight shake to them. You realise then that he’s been absolutely terrified this whole time. You spare him a glance, and he meets your eyes head on.

You don’t know why, but you feel your heartbeat calm when he meets your eyes. It’s an impossible, terrifying task before you, but he’ll be beside you the whole time. That’s what the look in his eyes reassures you. No matter what happens or has happened between you, despite your fight, despite the weird state of things right now, Jin will be by your side.

You swallow deeply and nod at the Psittanuran.

“I do.” You solemnly agree, unsure what the journey ahead may bring.

But you have to save Jungkook.

[winnsmills]

right out of a book (1) - draco malfoy x reader

this is my first fanfic ever aaahhh idk i’m such an amateur lol

also english is not my first language so if you stumble across any mistakes language-wise, feel free to inform me and please (please please) let me know what you think since this will probs be about a couple of chapters. (three to five-ish? i’m not really sure we shall see hehe) 

plot: draco malfoy thinks the reader doesn’t know anything about him, and is determined to keep it that way. that might change once she actually learns he is rather similar to a character in the books she’d read...along with the rest of the world. muggle!reader. sulky!draco (although i’m convinced this doesn’t really need an exclamation mark haha). enjoy!

warnings: not really...one or two curse words, draco being rude lol

word count: 1169

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy could safely say that he could believe whatever was thrown in his face. All sorts of plot twists, espionages, even the weirdest conspiracies (he had once read that Harry Potter was actually an alien and was here to report all the secrets of Wizarding World to the fellow members of his species – and he thought that it would certainly explain his lack of brains). But if someone had come along and told him that he would have to live in Muggle London for Merlin knows how long, he would’ve told that person that they were absolutely bonkers.

Alas, that was exactly where he found himself.

“Come on, this won’t be that bad, Malfoy,” Zabini had told him, “Even if you stayed in the Manor, you wouldn’t be able to roam the streets anyway. After the Battle, your face might as well be on posters that say ‘Wanted’ in all capital letters. At least no one will know who you are here. No one will know about your past.”

Draco liked to think of himself as at least somewhat logical. Unlike certain Gryffindors, he knew there was a fine line between courage and stupidity, and he was adamant not to cross it. But there were expectations that came with his infamous surname, some kind of fate even, determining his actions even before he was born. All the things he did, he did out of desperation. He didn’t have much of a choice anyway.

So he became a Death Eater. And tried to kill Dumbledore. And helped other Death Eaters break into Hogwarts. His criminal record…was not the best, to say the least. So yes, he knew Zabini’s words made sense. He knew that was the logical thing to do.

But there was not a single bone in his body that agreed willingly to what he said.

He certainly did not look forward to mingle with those sorts, let alone not being able to use his wand. Maybe he could redeem himself, he thought. Maybe he could go up to Potter and tell him that he did all of what he did because he wanted him to be seen as a bigger hero. He could potentially tell him I was always on your side, mate, but the words weren’t convincing even in his brain, let alone coming out of his mouth.

So, it was down to one single option. As usual.

On his first day, he had sat in the couch and just frowned until evening. He didn’t know what to do, how to make things work without magic. Maybe he could actually die out of boredom and get this whole runaway thing over with.

His frowning session got rudely interrupted with a continuous sound of doorbell, and he just groaned and waited for the person at the other end of the door to go away. He gave an exhausted breath when the ringing stopped, but he was too optimistic, especially for a pessimistic sulking arsehole like himself. Ringings turned into knocking and eventually a female voice.

“I know you’re in there!” you called behind the door. “I heard you groan so don’t even attempt to pretend you’re not home.”

So he unwillingly got up and forcefully opened the door with an unamused look on his face. “Could you stop ringing the door for Me- fuck’s sake! What the hell do you want?”

“Not a nice way to greet your neighbour for the first time, is it?” you asked, with an offended look on your face. “I just wanted to bring you some food since you just moved and I figured you didn’t have anything in your fridge-

Fridge? he thought. He technically knew you spoke English, but he could barely understand half of what you were saying. Everything seemed foreign and unusual, and he was once again reminded of the fact that he was in a world he was not familiar with. Not that it ever got out of his mind.

-I may have ringed the doorbell a few times more than usual but that was because I knew you were home and it certainly does not excuse your behaviour! Especially when I am the one with the food in my hands!” you finished rambling with an angry tone. He had just realised that you were holding what looked to be as some sort of a pasta dish, and even though he really, really thought you were very annoying and intrusive, he couldn’t deny the fact that he was also very hungry. So he did what every Slytherin with some self respect would do – he played his cards accordingly.

“Look…”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Look, Y/L/N. I’m sorry, okay? I just moved here as you have kindly noticed and I am not in a very good mood – you constantly ringing the bell did not help either. But again, I’m sorry, alright? You didn’t really deserve that.” – he didn’t believe his last words, but he was saying what he had to say. He had learned ever since he was a child that you couldn’t say what you genuinely think all the time. You need to know when to speak and when to shut your mouth, his father used to tell him. Words have power. It is up to you to use that properly.

“Anyways, thanks for the food.” As he finished his words, he grabbed the baking dish from your hands before you could change your mind and tried to close the door, but he should’ve known that you weren‘t going to leave so easily.

“Wait!” you called after coming out of your state of shock, which was just before he was closing the door, and it took Draco all of his willpower to not roll his eyes and huff with annoyance. “You didn’t tell me your name,” you said with a hint of blush on your cheeks.

“Doesn’t really matter,” said Draco, not finding the power in him to even utter his own name out loud to someone who didn’t know it. You were that someone, someone that didn’t have a single clue about his name, fortune, past, present and possible future. You were just someone that had brought him food (like a saviour, but he would never admit that, especially to you) and annoyed him. It was actually refreshing.

So that was how you found yourself as, standing in front of your new neighbour’s door with your lips slightly parted. You had never met anyone that rude in your life, and even thought about not actually giving him the dish since he had oh so nicely put that you ringed the doorbell a bit longer than usual – no more than 15 seconds, might you add – but you were actually intrigued about your new neighbour. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why, but you tried to reason with yourself that he actually did seem very upset, and he did apologise in the end, which resulted in your next action:

Ringing the doorbell. Again.

[jetsetlife138]

Die A Little (Betelgeuse x fem!reader)

Summary: You purchase a house that is haunted by a ghost-demon creature who tricks you into summoning him into the land of the living. He shows his gratitude in an unexpected way.

Pairing: Beetlejuice x You / Beetlejuice x Reader

Word Count: 4,700 Warnings: SMUT Idk what I’m doing. This is dedicated to @beetlewise-and-pennyjuice​

That motherfucker.

It started off as a terrifying introduction that led to so much more. Long story short, you had been offered a job in some podunk town in Connecticut and took it as an opportunity to start fresh. The bustling lifestyle of your old city was vastly different to that of the rural suburbs of the North East, but you didn’t mind the change as much as you thought you would.

As a bonus, the house you had moved into had been recently vacated and was on the market for a steal due to the demise of its most recent inhabitants. Though you felt badly for the deceased owners, it worked out well for you. Never in your life did you think that the deal of a lifetime would lead to your own personal ghost.

Actually, you weren’t even sure what he was. Merely hours after you had moved in, he had revealed himself to you, seemingly shocked that you had the capability to see him. At first, you thought that he was some rando intruder messing with you, and you immediately went to call the cops. You nearly pissed yourself when he stopped you before morphing his face into something so horrifying that you couldn’t even put into words what you saw. That’s when you realized with certainty that he was not human, since no human in existence had the capability to do that.

After that, your curiosity got the better of you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from analyzing him. His whole existence was incredibly fascinating to you.

The creature before you stood confidently, his intense eyes narrowing in a challenging gaze, toying with you. His posture was loose and casual, though still slightly intimidating. His dark hair that faded into green was thick and unkempt. He was adorned with a baggy, worn black and white striped suite that seriously could have used a wash.

He stepped closer to you, his footsteps unnervingly making no sound whatsoever, causing you to take a step back in response. He grinned briefly before clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Now, now. No reason to be afraid, babe. I’m just as curious about you as you are of me.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” you retorted under your breath, still looking him over.

“Got any questions for me? Ask away, I’m an open book,” he insisted, clearly enjoying the attention that he was getting from you. He had a harsh, raspy voice that oddly enticed you, encouraging you to keep him talking.

“Um… I guess your name would be a good start.”

He chuckled, earning a shiver through your body. “You got me there. I, uh, I can’t tell you.” He winked playfully at you, once again stepping closer to you.

Eyeing him skeptically, you asked, “Why not?”

“I got it,” he snaps his fingers, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “How ‘bout a game of charades?”

“Seriously?” you muttered, taken aback when you realized that he was serious.

He was clearly trying to sway you; to make himself seem less threatening as a way to get you to let your guard down… and it was working. Several minutes later and a few embarrassingly failed attempts at guessing, his name was finally revealed.

“Betelgeuse?”

“'Atta girl! That’s it! Just two more times, babe,” he urged, biting his lower lip in anticipation. “Really get a feel for it, come on.”

Why he wanted you to repeat his name was beyond you, but you figured you’d comply rather than have him kill you in your sleep or something. “Betelgeuse.”

He nodded his head excitedly, a slight moan escaping his throat, as if the sound of you saying his name gave him an actual form of pleasurable relief.

“Betelgeuse!”

The air in the room thickened as soon as the last syllable left your tongue. His eyes flashed at you as he bared his teeth at you in a sinister smile. “Thanks, doll. I owe you one!”

Before you could even ask what he was thanking you for, the floor beneath you started to shake, causing you to stumble as you tried to get your bearings. Since when in the fuck did Connecticut have earthquakes?

Once the house settled, you looked around to see that you were alone, no ghost-demon thing in sight. It was obvious that saying his name three times did something that enabled him to come and go as he pleased, leaving you behind without another thought.

Awesome. Who knows what evil you just released into the world. If was your fault for being so trusting and foolish, but at least he was out of your hair.

The next day, exhaustion had taken over as you sat on your couch, lost in a daze as you slowly swayed a glass of wine in your hand. You watched the viscosity stick to the side of the glass in a mesmerizing way while trying to force yourself to relax after what had probably been the most stressful day of moving that you had ever experienced. Then again, no one ever said that moving across the country into your first home was ever easy.

Feeling the wine start to take effect, you’d turned on the tv but couldn’t really focus on it. You were too busy thinking about Betelgeuse and the immediate effect that he had on you. Part of you wished that he would come back. Maybe he would even visit you tonight? Of course, chances were high that he had just manipulated you to get out. You’d probably never see him again if he didn’t want you to.

It was getting late and the wine started to make your body feel heavy. Today’s events rested on your tired shoulders, and your bed was calling to you. Around midnight, your fatigue was too much to ignore, and you succumbed to it.

Not bothering to remove your clothes or take off your makeup, you crawled into your bed, letting out a relieved sigh once you were tucked in under the warm covers. Further thoughts of your ghostly interaction could wait until tomorrow.

Just as you had begun to drift off to sleep, a strange feeling of unease fell over you. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end as you forced your eyes open to look around your dark bedroom. When you saw nothing, you couldn’t decide if you were relieved or disappointed.

Sighing heavily, you threw your head back into the pillow, frustrated with yourself. Once again, the mysterious creature was plaguing your mind, keeping you from falling asleep. The memory of the way his voice lulled you into a compliant state of mind and how his charm was dripping with sexual magnetism washed over you, leaving you wanting.

What the actual fuck was wrong with you. Did you seriously have a ghost kink?

Just as you had started to fall back asleep, a raspy voice carried over the darkness. “Miss me, babe?”

You yelped, sitting up and jumping towards the head of the bed, away from the unexpected intrusion. With your heart thumping harshly against your chest, you strained your eyes to adjust to the darkness to see the silhouette of a familiar figure stepping towards you out of the shadows.

That familiar smirk was adorning his face, which you could now see more clearly in the moonlight, making his skin seem even more pale, though it oddly suited him. Even through the darkness you could see his green, unkempt hair. He no longer had his jacket, but was still wearing the rest of the clothes as before, looking just as sinful.

“Betelgeuse,” you stated, trying to suppress the thrill that was surging through you. “What-”

“Am I doing here?” he finished, relishing in the effect his surprise entrance had on you. “Come on, I think we both know the answer to that. But, uh, take it easy on the name, doll. Can’t have you sending me back now, can we?”

You swallowed hard, trying to mask your intrigue and overall elation, but you knew that he could already sense it. Still, that didn’t mean that you were going to give him the satisfaction.

“Are you here to kill me?” you blurted out, unable to stop yourself.

He hummed thoughtfully, inching his way towards you, now having almost reached the end of the bed. His crooked smile widened a bit before he answered with a question, “Would you like me to?”

Scoffing at his response, you replied, “Obviously not.”

“Well then,” he dipped his chin, chuckling darkly. “I��ll do my very best to keep you alive.”

That made you nervous. “What if I don’t want you?” you asked, knowing that you had already given away your obvious arousal and desire to be with him, but the question still plagued you. “You promise not to kill me, but would you hurt me if I’m not…” Trailing off, you didn’t want to give the impression that you didn’t think you were good enough, so you rephrased, “If I don’t want to do this?”

His brows furrowed and his nose wrinkled in disdain of the question. “I really hope you’re not asking what I think you are.”

Hearing him say that made it sound ridiculous that you were even asking, but still, you nodded your head. His expression softened as he drew closer, taking you in with his piercing gaze, already making you want to melt into the sheets.

“No,” he answered sharply. “First of all, I may not be human, but that doesn’t make me a monster.”

Instant relief washed over you after hearing him confirm what you had already suspected. He could probably see your body relax against the bed, which encouraged him to continue. “Secondly, I have no need to fuck you against your will seeing as how desperately you’ve been wanting this since the moment we met.”

Busted. You opened your mouth a couple of times to protest, but you couldn’t find the words. He was absolutely right, but you couldn’t stand his cocky attitude. “I don’t-”

“Oh, you do,” he stated confidently, cutting you off. “I can smell that you do, babe. I know how badly you’ve been craving this, and I know that it’s been far too long since someone has touched you the way you need to be touched - the way I intend to touch you.”

“Is that why you came back here?” you snapped. “Because you felt sorry for me?”

He stepped to the side of the bed now, a somewhat feral look in his eyes, which was masked by the coy smirk he displayed as he toyed with you. “On the contrary, I’m intrigued by you. I’ve been thinkin’ about this just as much as you have.”

You eyed him suspiciously. “Somehow I doubt that,” you mumbled. “So, what, you thought I would be an easy target for you?”

“So defensive!,” he accused before laughing quietly. “You did me a service today, and not only did I want to repay the favor, but I wanted to get a taste of you for my own needs. You’re exactly what I’ve been longing for, and I think it’s safe to say that I am what you’ve been needing, too.”

Just hearing him say that made your body tremble and a wave of heat rush to your core, which he could sense immediately, earning a knowing chuckle from him. Your breath shook as he knelt on the bed, stretching out his hand for you to take as a gesture of consent due to your previous hesitance.

No longer afraid, you locked eyes with him as you tenderly placed your hand in his, jolting slightly at the feeling of his chilled skin. He raised his eyebrows smugly at you as he closed his hand around yours, pulling you upwards to join him in a kneeling position.

He leaned forward then, rubbing his cold cheek against your flushed one as he slowly moved down to the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply, followed by a wanton groan. “Fuck, you smell so good.”

You bit your lip to keep from revealing how desperately you wanted him, but when he pulled back and looked into your eyes, it was evident. The only comforting thing was that he seemed to want you just as badly.

“Well then,” you breathed softly, running your hand down the buttons on his shirt. He hummed in question, seemingly distracted by you somehow. You continued, “You want to thank me for releasing you? Show me how you intend to do that.”

His pointed teeth glistened in the light as he smiled wickedly at the invitation. “You’re in for a treat, sweetheart.” Before you could hesitate, he pushed you back onto the bed, knocking the breath out of you slightly at the unexpected force. “However, before we begin, I need you to understand something,” he warned.

You bit your lip from both need and slight affliction. “What’s that?”

“You are at my mercy. There is no backing out, there are no safety words, and there is also a possibility of loss of sanity from the immense pleasure that you are about to experience.”

Already the wetness was building up in your core, just hearing the way he spoke about it ignited something in you - a desperate need that you had to have satiated right then and there.

“Fuck, yes, Betelguese. I get it,” you huffed impatiently, sitting up and reaching for his belt. He chuckled darkly, catching your hands in his and holding them steady, forcing you to look up at him.

“I mean it, babe. I’m willing to fulfill your needs, but it may come with consequences. Do you understand?”

“I understand!” you all but shouted, no longer able to hold back. “I’m beginning to think you’re stalling because you’re all talk and just don’t want to embarrass yourself.”

He raised his eyebrows at your audacity to question his talents before licking his lips slightly and wrapping his hands around the back of your legs, pulling you forcefully closer so that your heat was pressed against his already hardened cock, causing you to groan wantonly.

“I’m gonna fuck you to the brink of death,” he breathed, leaning in so that you could feel the coolness of his breath on your face.

“Prove it,” you challenged, your body already shaking from the anticipation.

The wicked grin returned as his eyes darkened with lust before he huskily stated, “It’s showtime!”

Following his statement, he snapped his fingers, causing your garments to rip from you in shreds and fall to the floor. Ordinarily, you might have been upset, but you were too clouded with lust to care at that point.

Once your ruined clothes were tossed aside, you took a moment to stare at him, eyes drifting lower until you caught sight of his length through his striped pants, which appeared to be thick, hard, and practically weeping pre-cum due to the damp spot near the tip.

He didn’t have to ask to know that you were impressed and eager to feel his huge cock inside of you. A cocky smile crept across his face as you finished inspecting him, imagining all the things that he was going to do to you.

Unable to delay any longer, he gripped the back of your hair harshly, pulling you towards him in a fierce kiss. You savored the surprisingly sweet flavor of him as he plunged his tongue into your mouth, swirling around with precision, exploring every cavern.

You hardly noticed that he had released your hair and lowered his hands to begin exploring your body while he continued to lick inside of you. His hands left a trail of coolness along your warm, flushed skin, making you want to lean into his touch.

When he reached your breasts, he began to knead them tenderly, briefly flicking over your hardened nipples with his thumb. Breaking the kiss, you bit your lip as he mouthed at your jawline, then running his tongue along your throat before taking a moment to nibble at your collarbone. The pain of his bite mixed with the sensation of his skilled hands on your breasts was sending you into overdrive.

It was then that you noticed that an odd, warm feeling was creeping into your lower belly, working its way down toward your lower region. Before you could think too long about it, an intense, inexplicable sensation began to pulsate around your cunt, causing you to choke on your breath, gasping for air as it constricted around you.

Betelgeuse hummed happily against your skin as he relished in your response to his power, kissing and licking his way down from your clavicle to your breasts, pausing to suck harshly on their raised peaks. You writhed beneath him, unable to sit still as his manipulation worked through you, your entire body buzzing with arousal.

Your hands tangled themselves in his thick, green locks, noticing only for a moment how soft his hair was before once again becoming distracted with what he was doing to you.

Eventually, his hands left your breasts and he continued to scoot down until he positioned himself between your legs. He lifted one of them into the air as he tasted your skin, leaving trails of soft pecks and bites down your leg to the inside of your thigh. It was only then that you realized that though his hands were preoccupied with your lower half, your breasts were still being massaged and sucked on, as if he was still there, pleasuring you.

You moaned softly, realizing that he was not bound by the physical plane of your world. Knowing that he could be anywhere and everywhere with you was difficult to fathom, but you had no complaints.

Lowering himself, he parted your legs further and positioned them higher to allow more access to your dripping heat. He placed one finger on the edge of your lips, slowly trailing down toward your hole. You wanted to beg. You wanted to say anything that would encourage him to touch you where you needed him most, but you could barely bring yourself to breathe properly, let alone form words as the pleasure continued to radiate throughout your trembling body.

He took a moment to appreciate you in this state, that familiar smirk adorning his face before darting his tongue out to lick his lips as he observed you. Hoping that your pleading eyes were a sufficient request for him to continue, your hands gripped the sheets as you prepared yourself for what you hoped would come next.

Finally, his finger found your swollen nub as he circled it teasingly. Though he was giving you minimal contact, his digit seemed to vibrate against you, causing pleasure to shoot throughout your lower half.

You threw your head back against the pillow, no longer having the physical capability to hold yourself up. His chuckle distinctly reached your ears as he clearly enjoyed the sight of your loss of control, and he had barely even touched you.

His chilled finger dropped from your clit and prodded slightly at your entrance. No longer able to hold back, he inserted a finger, twisting and crooking his digit in just the right way. “Mmm, babe, you’re so tight,” he cooed, his words barely registering as he continued to explore your insides.

Whines spilled from your mouth as he added a second finger, and then a third, stretching you and causing more lubrication to spill from your core while he pressed his thumb against your bundle of nerves, wriggling vigorously.

It was almost too much. You had never experienced so many wonderful sensations at once in all your life. Every spot that had ever caused you arousal was being stimulated, including places that you hadn’t even discovered, and yet, somehow Betelgeuse knew about them.

Just when you thought that you couldn’t handle any more, he withdrew his fingers before pulling himself out of his pants, using your own essence to wet his throbbing cock. He ran his hand along his length, spreading your natural lubricant. You might have been delirious from the waves of bliss pulsating through you, but you could have sworn that his length and girth had increased in size  since you had started. For a moment, you wondered how he was even going to fit himself inside of you, regardless of the preparation his magical fingers had done.

He seemed to sense your hesitation as he ran the pads of his fingers along your abdomen in a slow, soothing motion.  You adjusted your hips slightly to better prepare yourself for the blunt object that was about to be inserted into your heat. He smiled widely, showing off his teeth with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

Grasping his thick appendage, he rubbed the weeping head against your opening, trailing up to grind against your clit, earning another needy groan from deep in your throat.

Even through your heavy, half-lidded eyes, you could see that he too was eager for this to happen. Though he showed remarkable self-control, little things were giving him away, like the way he ran his tongue against his bottom lip, or the way his breath came in small huffs, or the way his fingers trembled when he finally lined himself up again, ready to penetrate you.

Much to your surprise, instead of slowly pushing into you to allow you time to adjust to his girth, he shoved his hips forward, literally knocking the breath out of you as his length became fully sheathed inside of you.

You released a loud cry, partly because you assumed that he had just ripped your vagina in half, and also out of shock due to the fact that there wasn’t a single moment of pain. All you had felt was pleasure as his cock somehow fit perfectly inside of you, stretching you in the best possible way.

“Oh, fuck!” you moaned as he began to pull out, allowing the ridges of his swollen length to hit every crevice inside of you before snapping his hips forward again. You could swear that you could feel his tip hit your cervix as your nails dug into his arms, wanting more of what he was giving you.

“So fucking good,” he rasped as he read your body language, encouraging him to pick up speed, pumping in and out of you at a vigorous pace. The friction was perfect, driving you insane as he hit your g-spot dead on with each thrust.

Before you could even adjust to his blissful actions, the invisible touch returned to your breasts, sucking, stroking and kneading just right. Although his mouth was nowhere near your clit, you felt a chilled, wet tongue glide over your nub, applying just the right amount of pressure, vibrating and circling around it.

“Just like that. Y-yes, right- oh fuck- right there!” You couldn’t contain yourself anymore. Your cries echoed throughout the room as you sobbed with ecstasy, never knowing that any person could feel this way. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, the pulsating pleasurable sensation returned, filtering throughout your entire body.

“Such a good girl,” he praised as he fucked you mercilessly. “Like you were fucking made for me.”

It was a good thing that you were in the position you were. Had you been on top or in any position where you had to use any muscle at all, you would have collapsed by this point. You no longer had any control over your body as it trembled and convulsed with sensations beyond your comprehension.

You could feel yourself starting to unravel, no longer able to contain the pressure building up inside of you, begging for release. “Oh, god! Betelgeuse… please,” you begged, finally able to form words.

His breath came in short gasps as he pummeled inside of you, moving with inhuman speed. Soon, the friction of his thrusts was too much for your body to handle. Before you could even understand what was happening, you were climaxing, experiencing a sensation so euphoric and blissful that you had honestly believed for a moment that you were dead. Your body wracked with your orgasm as you pulsated around his cock in an attempt to milk him dry.

He choked back a moan as you clenched around him, still trying to last a bit longer. “Holy shit,” he groaned. “Babe, you’re killin’ me here.”

You barely registered his movements as he continued to penetrate you, chasing his own orgasm after you were slowly coming down from your own. Not too long after, you felt cold spurts lining your cervix as he emptied himself inside of you, a few whimpers and groans spilling from his lips as he rode out his high on top of you.

Your bones felt like gelatin as you lay there, unable to move as he collapsed on top of you, the weight of him and the chill of his skin oddly comforting. He too was trembling slightly from the aftershock of your actions together, which surprised you. You would have thought that he would have more composure for a dead guy.

“Wow… okay, I was not expecting that,” you breathed between pants. He chuckled at your awestruck response, which rumbled through your own body since he was still on top of you.

He lifted his head up, quirking his eyebrow at you and smirking like he was in on a joke that you didn’t understand. “What?” you asked him suspiciously.

“I just think it’s adorable that you think we’re finished,” he replied, placing his hands on either side of you so that he could lift himself up.

“Care to elaborate?”

He took a moment to sift a hand through his hair, pushing the unkempt strands back before he cocked his head to the side to crack his neck in preparation. “Sit up.”

“Betelgeuse… I can’t-”

“Sit up, and turn around,” he demanded, his wicked smile returning. “I haven’t yet satisfied you to the best of my ability, dollface. I haven’t made you completely unravel with bliss, and I intend to do so. Now.”

You expected your muscles to be sore considering how rough he had taken you and how much stimulation was coursing throughout your body, but you were surprisingly okay. Better than okay. The thought of going again excited you, and the fact that he was able to eradicate any physical limitations that the both of you may have had made you want to keep going.

The demon took you again from behind, and again holding you in his lap while you straddled him. Each new position was somehow better than the last. You had never known ecstasy like this, and you knew that you never would again. He elicited noises and shrieks from you that you hadn’t even known were humanly possible.

Finally, when the both of you were completely spent, your body covered in sweat and cum, you surrendered, unable to handle anymore. Even Betelgeuse seemed to be exhausted, though he hid it well behind his cocky smile.

“Thanks for the wild ride,” he cooed as he left your bed, snapping his fingers to pull the covers over you. “That was as much a treat for me as I’m sure it was for you.”

Barely able to find the strength to speak, you asked, “What will you do now?”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find something to pass the time.” He winked at you before leaning in kissing you deeply, making you moan into the kiss as he swallowed your noises.

He released a satisfied hum when he pulled away, walking toward the dark corner of your room. “Should you require my services in the future, you know how to find me.”

“But how will-”

“Sweet dreams, babe.” He gave you one final smirk as he straightened his tie and melted into the darkness, leaving you to what turned out to be the best sleep of your life.

[queenmylovely]

Peer Review

Summary: John deacon x fem!reader. Two seniors in a freshman English class. 

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: fluff, cussing (ofc), and smut (18+!! marked by ***)

A/N: Cute little oneshot cause idk how to write blurbs. Basically what I wish uni was actually like lol. For you, anon! I hope you all enjoy, and any feedback including likes, replies, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Requests are open!

Request: hi love your writing!! i was wondering if i could request a uni!john deacon au? maybe something fluffy/smutty?

Masterlist 

(a sassy Deaky fed up with the freshmen’s bs)

☆☆☆

Waiting to take English 101 until your senior year hadn’t necessarily been a conscious decision. More like you forgot that you were required to take it due to your eagerness to take the classes that were actually for your major. So on the first Tuesday of your last fall semester, just eight months until graduation, you were sat in a room full of mostly freshmen and sophomores.

The first thing your professor had everyone do was to get into five groups of five and introduce yourselves with your name, year, major, and hometown. Quickly, everyone grouped up and circled their desks, awkwardly waiting for someone to start.

Since you had been doing this for the past three years, you took the lead, “I’m Y/N. I’m a Spanish major and a senior because I forgot to take this course earlier. And I’m from here, London.”

Your answer gained a couple of chuckles and helped to break the ice as the girl next to you started without hesitation. After her, two more people introduced themselves and then the last guy went.

He had long hair and kind eyes, and his voice was a little nasally but altogether pleasing when he started to talk, “My name’s John Deacon. I’m also a senior ‘cause I couldn’t be bothered to take this class before my engineering ones. And, um, I’m from Leicestershire.”

When he said that he was a senior he had turned to you with a smile that you returned easily.

“Oh thank goodness I’m not the only one,” you half-whispered to him, leaning over conspiratorially. He giggled at your words before the professor called everyone’s attention back to the front.

For the rest of the hour, the class remained in the small groups, reading over sections of the syllabus and then presenting them to the rest of the class. As experienced students, you and John were able to pick out the most important information from the text with just a glance.

John and you made funny comments to each other every so often throughout the class, saying how young all of the freshmen looked and how they were confused at what office hours were. At first, it was mainly you making the comments, which you were happy enough with since he had a wonderful laugh. But after a little while, he made a few comments himself that were far more severe than yours, making it very hard for you to stifle your laughter.

By the end of class, the two of you had developed an ease of conversation and you were slightly reluctant that it was coming to a close. As you packed up your things, you saw John lingering by your desk and turned to him to say goodbye.

He beat you to it, though, and asked, “Where’s your next class?”

“It’s in the psychology building. Where’s yours?” you replied.

“The engineering building,” he answered.  

“Oh, mine’s on the way to yours,” you pointed out.

“It is,” he agreed.

“We could walk together,” you suggested.

“I mean, if you insist,” he said with a cheeky smile and you laughed, lightly hitting him on the shoulder.

The two of you walked over together, chatting about your majors. You found out that John was an electrical engineer major, finishing up in the spring like you. He asked what Spanish majors did and you explained that you wanted to be an interpreter or professor.

“At the moment, it’s looking like I’ll do private tutoring and lessons once I graduate until I find something I really like,” you told him.

“So, are you fluent?” he questioned.

“I better be,” you joked and the two of you laughed. “What about you, John? Do you speak any languages?”

“I took French in primary but promptly forgot it all. Oh, and you can call me Deaky, by the way,” he informed you.

“Deaky?” you questioned a little bit teasingly.

“Yes, it’s short for Deacon. It’s what my friends call me,” he explained.

“Oh, so we’re friends now?” you said with a smile.

“Well, yes, I’d quite like to be,” he said a little shyly, looking away.

“Me too, Deaky,” you assured, and he looked back at you with a grin. You then realized you were at your building and told him so. “Hasta jueves, Deaky.”

“What does that mean?” he laughed as you started walking away.

“See you Thursday,” you called over your shoulder before pushing the door open and going inside.

_____

From then on, you and Deaky paired up together in class and then walked to your next ones. Occasionally, you met up at a coffee shop to study and peer review each other’s work. John wasn’t the best writer, but he tried very hard and improved a lot from paper to paper. You, on the other hand, were so used to writing in Spanish that it took some work to get to a place where John didn’t have to correct your grammar every couple sentences.

About halfway through the semester, the two of you had plans to go over your midterm papers in the coffee shop. It was the Friday before it was due and the plan was to meet at 7:00 and hopefully be done before closing. While you definitely had made progress, you were barely halfway done when you realized that the cafe was closing in 10 minutes. And because you were so engrossed in each other’s papers, the barista was the one that had pointed it out to you. They told you that you could take your time packing up, but the two of you cleaned up quickly since you were the last two in the place, and didn’t want to keep them longer than necessary.

As you stepped out to the street you turned to John, “What are we gonna do? We still have so much to go through and edit.”

“I would suggest we could go back to my place, but my roommates are pretty loud and intrusive,” he told you. He had mentioned his roommates a lot, but so far you had never met them and wondered what they were actually like. Apparently, though, that would be for a different time.

“Oh, then we can go to my place, that’s a good idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” you chuckled at yourself.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude,” John hesitated.

“Yes I’m sure, you won’t be intruding at all. I want you there, Deaky,” you reassured him with a smile that he returned after a second. “Okay, so I live about 10 minutes from here, if you just want to follow me? There’s plenty of parking on the street, I swear no one there drives.”

“Sounds great,” he told you.

“Perfect. See you in 10 then,” you said before opening your door and climbing in. You waited until you saw him get in his car and turn it on before you started to pull out of the parking space and leave the parking lot. True to what you said, it took exactly 10 minutes before you pulled over and parked, John parking right behind you.

You got out and waited for John, leading him up to your apartment with idle chit chat about the neighborhood. Opening the door, you let him in first, and he followed your lead when you took off your shoes once you were inside.

“We can set up here,” you said, gesturing to your living room which had a couch with a large coffee table in front of it. You set down your bag on your couch, but didn’t sit down. “Let’s get some snacks or something first, though. We got those drinks at the coffee shop like 3 hours ago.”

John followed you into the kitchen, trying not to get in your way. He stood awkwardly just inside the entrance and you laughed. Grabbing his hand, you pulled him the rest of the way in and nudged him until he was leaning against the counter, “You’re allowed to be here, you know. I live alone, and you’re certainly not bothering me.”

He nodded but looked away a little bit, trying to hide the slight blush that had covered his cheeks when you grabbed his hand.

“I’m going to make a cuppa, do you want one?” you asked him.

“Yes please, thank you,” he replied.

“So polite,” you said with a smile and started making the drinks. Next, you pulled a jar of unpopped popcorn. “Do you know how to make popcorn? I always burn it.”

“Um, yeah I do. Do you have a pot?” John replied, stepping up to the stove and grabbing the jar from your hands. You went over to a cupboard and opened it, reaching up to get the pot. It proved just out of your reach though, and you strained. John was watching you, and when you stretched your arm as high as it would go, your shirt rode up and he caught a glimpse of your waist underneath your sweater. He stared only for a second before recovering and reaching up to grab the pot for you.

“Thank you,” you said, turning to face him. In doing so, you realized how close he was. His breath was fanning out over you, and you had to tilt your head up to look into his eyes. You hadn’t always thought of John as tall, but when he was standing so close to you that you were practically touching, he really was quite a bit taller than you. You didn’t know if it was your imagination or not, but he seemed to be getting closer and closer to you. Was that the tips of his or your hair tickling your shoulder through your sweater? Was it just you or was his knee touching your thigh? Whose breathing had gotten heavier, yours, his, both? Before you could answer any of these questions, the kettle whistled loudly, causing the two of you to jump apart.

“The water’s done,” you said plainly, and then cursed yourself silently for pointing out the obvious.

“I’ll get started on the popcorn,” John said, as he turned to the stove and away from you. Because he did, you missed the bright pink on his cheeks.

You unplugged the kettle and grabbed two mugs and tea bags from a different cupboard, pouring the water and let them steep. Walking over to the fridge, you opened it and grabbed the milk. “Milk and sugar?”

“Just one sugar, please,” John replied, still a little awkwardly.

You nodded to yourself and went about making the tea, adding sugar to both and only milk to yours. Once they were ready, you handed John his cup and you both sipped on the tea instead of talking while you waited for the popcorn to be ready. When the first kernel popped and hit the lid of the pot, the two of you jumped and then laughed together.

Once the tension had broken, you started talking more normally again, “So, how many roommates do you have again?”

“Three; Freddie, Roger, and Brian. They’re good blokes, things can just get pretty rowdy. Especially when Fred and Rog are in one of their moods,” Deaky replied with somewhat of a wry smile.

“Are they students too?” you asked.

“They’ve all graduated now, I’m the last one,” John explained as he took the finished pot of popcorn off the burner.

“Aw, you’re the baby,” you said teasingly and you poked him in the side.

He made a sound of indignation and turned to you as he poured the popcorn into the bowl you had set out, “Care to explain to me why I should continue making the popcorn while you tease and attack me?”

“‘Cause I’m cute,” you said with a wink before grabbing half a stick of butter to melt on the stove to pour over the popcorn. John didn’t have a response to that, instead he blushed and watched you starting to melt the butter.

“Why don’t you take our tea into the living room and take out our papers and stuff, I’ll be right in with this,” you said as you stirred the butter, nudging his side with your elbow.

He nodded and hastened to do what you said, carefully carrying the mugs into the living room and digging out his things. In a minute, you joined him in the living room, bringing the freshly buttered popcorn with you and a couple napkins.

The two of you dug into the revision and popcorn with the same fervor. With another hour of hard work, you finished all you could for the moment and it was a good stopping place for the night.

You both leaned back on the couch, brains tired from the constant critical thinking you had been doing.

“Essay writing is tough business,” you said with a sigh.

“Agreed. I’d take vector calculus over this any day,” John concurred.

“Can’t relate,” you said turning to him to laugh. As you did, you saw the shine of butter next to his mouth. Without thinking, you licked your thumb and brought it up to his face to wipe it off, saying, “You’ve some…”

That’s as far as you got before you realized that John was staring at you with wide-blown pupils and his mouth parted. Your paused with your thumb still resting on his cheek. John reached up to grab your wrist, but instead of removing your hand from his face, he kept it there. Slowly, you moved your thumb from his cheek to his lower lip. You brushed over it softly and felt his hand tense slightly around your wrist. Bringing your other hand to the other side of his face, you caressed his cheek before gently pulling his face to yours.

You had been watching your hands’ movements on his face and John had been watching your lips, but just before your lips met, the two of you flicked your gazes up to each other's eyes. Upon seeing the same look of desire he had reflected in your eyes, John took the chance and closed the distance between the two of you.

The kiss was soft and chaste. Pulling back slightly, you slid your hand so it was in his and brought his hand to your jaw. Once it was there, you moved both of yours to the back of his neck and pulled him into another kiss. This one was longer, and more testing. After a moment, you lightly sucked on John’s lower lip, and he groaned deep in his throat, causing you to both giggle against his lips and squeeze your thighs together in anticipation. In retaliation, John gave your lower lip a bite and you moaned, making John smirk against your mouth.

Soon, the kiss became more heated, and when John slid his hands from your jaw into your hair and gave a light tug, you parted your mouth in a gasp. He slipped his tongue in your mouth, teasing your own, making you deepen the kiss even further. In order to get better access and be closer to him, and maybe to get some friction that you so desperately needed, you pushed John so he was sat against the back of the couch and slung a leg over his hips so you were straddling him.

***

One of his hands moved from your hair to your waist, and he simultaneously pulled you closer to him as he lifted his hips up to you. You gasped into his mouth, and the two of you rocked your hips together as you continued to kiss heatedly.

John started toying with the hem of your sweater, running his hand along the strip of your waist that had been exposed to him earlier in the evening. Catching his drift, you grabbed the edge and pulled it over your head. Not wanting to be left out, you pulled on his shirt and he took it off too. As you continued to make out and grind against each other, you ran your hands over each other’s exposed bodies.

Making his way from your mouth to your jaw to your neck, John kissed and sucked light marks into your skin. With his hold on your waist, he pulled you so you were kneeling at full height and started kissing down your chest, mouthing at your nipples over your bra. You moaned and whined at his actions.

But, when his lips came dangerously close to the waistband of your trousers, you pushed yourself away a bit, and in between heavy breaths said, “Um, we should, um bedroom.”

John nodded eagerly and let you stand up so you could lead the way. You grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet, then practically ran to your bedroom with him in tow. Once you pushed open the door and John was inside, he stopped and pulled you to him again, bringing you into a deep kiss. Slowly, he walked the two of you to the edge of your bed, but before you could move onto it, he lifted you by your waist and threw you so you landed gently in the middle of your bed. You giggled on impact and he chuckled with you.

Returning to the mission of before, John climbed on top of you, kissing your neck hotly as he worked the button and zipper of your pants. Before he pulled them down, he looked up for confirmation and when you nodded, he took them off. Left in only your bra and underwear, you reached for John’s own waistband and he helped you take off his pants, kicking them to the floor.

John leaned up and started kissing you again, holding your face in his hands. Your hands moved from his chest to his shoulders, pulling him closer to you. He took the opportunity to grind his hips against yours and you automatically wrapped your legs around him to keep him close. You were spurring each other on to continually roll and thrust your hips as the other gasped and moaned.

Suddenly, John pulled away, but instead of getting up, he reached underneath you, trying to unhook your bra. It proved difficult for him, so, laughing slightly, you said, “Let me.”

Your hands took his place and effortlessly undid your bra, pulling the straps off your shoulders as you removed it. John groaned at the sight of your breasts and you felt your cheeks and chest heat up at the sound. He must have found it endearing because he smiled to himself and started a surprisingly relentless attack on your breasts.

He took a good couple of minutes just to suck hickeys into the tender skin at the top of your breasts, sucking on your nipples lightly every so often just to keep you on your toes. His ministrations made you breathless and desperate for more, and soon you were writhing underneath him, trying to get any sort of friction on your core.

If John knew what you wanted, he didn’t let on, and with a huff of exasperation, you spoke up, “John, can you please move lower?”

He smiled against your chest and replied, “Why would I do that when I’m having such a good time up here?”

“Please Johnny, I need more,” you whined, the nickname just slipping from your mouth.

John groaned at your words and stopped his movements, “Say it again.”

You quickly caught onto what he meant and repeated, “Johnny, please, please, I need you.”

With what almost seemed like a growl, John moved down your body, pulling your underwear off with him. He spread your legs quickly, and you gasped as the cold air hit your wetness. Without hesitation, John licked a stripe up your folds, groaning at your taste. You sighed and threaded your fingers through his hair to keep him close.

John, on the other hand, wanted you anything but relaxed, and started an assault on your pussy. He started by collecting wetness from your entrance on his tongue before moving up to toy with your clit. He kissed, licked, and swirled his tongue on the bundles of nerves until you were squirming beneath him and the hold on his hair had tightened.

When he looked up and saw that your eyes were squeezed shut and your head was thrown back, he moved one hand to his mouth, coating it in his saliva. Then, he pushed his index finger inside you, making you cry out “Johnny!” yet again. He pumped his finger, still paying attention to your clit until your back was beginning to arch and your thighs were trembling. Knowing you were close, he added another finger and sucked harshly on your clit, fingering you quickly until you tumbled over the edge.

Your orgasm was stronger than you expected, and you felt it from your walls that were clenching around his fingers to the shocks of pleasure that coursed up your spine. Gasping out his name as he continued his motions throughout your orgasm, you unconsciously squeezed your thighs together, keeping John as close as possible. As you came down, your breath evened out and you relaxed your legs, John coming back into view once he could lift his head again.

You would have apologized for nearly crushing him, but the look in his eyes was enough to silence any sorry that would have come from you. His eyes were dark with lust and boring into yours. His mouth was still slick with your wetness, and when he kissed his way up your body, he left little tracks that made you shiver when the air hit them.

When he made it to your mouth and pulled you in for a kiss, he pushed his tongue into your waiting mouth so you could taste yourself. You moaned into the kiss, reaching down to palm John through his underwear. Breaking away from the kiss, you pulled down his boxers and his dick, already totally hard, was revealed to you. As you began pumping it in your hands, John moved his attention to your neck, his kisses being interrupted with moans when you swiped your palm over the head to gather his precum and spread it along his shaft.

You continued jerking him off until he pulled away from your neck, giving your lips another short kiss, whispering, “gotta get a condom,” before he got off the bed and grabbed his jeans. As you waited for him, you remained laying down, but moved one of your hands first to your mouth to wet it, then to your pussy and started rubbing your clit.

John didn’t notice your movements until he was opening the condom and started to roll it down his length. “Fuck, you just couldn’t wait?”

You didn’t stop your movements even as John climbed back on top of you. Instead you giggled and shook your head, “Uh-uh.”

He shot back a smile of his own, shaking his head before he reached down and took your hand from yourself, “Leave that up to me, love.”

Next, he moved your legs so they were bent at the knee and were pushed above your hips. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, hurry up,” you nodded and looked at him expectantly.

John scoffed at your words and look and took his cock in his hand, pumping it a couple times before lining up at your entrance and slowly sliding in. He moaned as he did, “So fucking eager.”

His words, along with how he felt inside of you made you moan out a weak, “Johnny, please move.”

Obliging, John started moving in shallow thrusts, getting both you and him used to each other. When you started reaching up to him, he leaned forward on a thrust in and went deeper than he had before. You both gasped at the feeling, and you held him to you by his shoulders, telling him, “That, do that again.”

John didn’t take any convincing and started thrusting into you in deep, slow thrusts that made you gasp and moan. You could tell he was holding back some though, and told him, “You can go faster, Johnny. Go faster.”

He did, and sped up his pace until you were crying out with every thrust. You could feel yourself getting close and almost reached your hand between the two of you before you remembered his words earlier, “Johnny, please.”

Knowing exactly what you meant, John moved his hand down so his fingers could rub tight circles on your clit. It only took another minute of this before you were tensing up around him and you could only say “Johnny,” over and over.

“Come for me, beautiful. Let go,” John whispered against your lips before capturing them with his own.

The kiss pushed you over the edge again, and you came with a stuttering cry that John swallowed with his kisses. It was gentler this time, but still lifted you to a high that left your body tingling and satisfied.

John kept thrusting into you, at a slower pace so you wouldn’t be overstimulated. You could tell that he was close though, and urged him on by meeting his hips with your own. Wanting to encourage him like he did you, you kissed along his neck until you reached his ear and whispered into it, “Please Johnny, come for me. Oh- please.”

Your words in his ear set him off and in two more snaps of his hips, John was coming hard, letting his head fall to your shoulder and moaning your name into the crook of your neck. He stilled inside of you, catching his breath. His heavy breathing on your neck caused a shiver to go down your spine, and you laughed lightly.

Hearing your laugh, John placed a sweet kiss to your neck before slowly sitting up and pulling out. He got up and went to the bathroom he had noticed on the way to your bedroom. He came back having disposed of the condom and cleaned the two of you off with a warm washcloth before lying next to you again. He laid on his back and you curled up to his side, laying your head on his chest while his arm rested on your body.

***

You traced little patterns on his chest and he played with the ends of your hair. Planting a couple of kisses to his chest, you chuckled to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” he said, tugging lightly on one strand of your hair.

“Well, I was just thinking that now I’m really glad that I didn’t have to pair up with some freshman for peer review,” you told him before both of you cracked up. 

★★★

Taglist: @somekindof-cheese @gwilyoubemine @deacytits @supersonicfreddie @siriuslovesmarlene @bowiequeen @acdeaky @deakysgirl @sunflower-borhap-boys @deakyfordays @queensilveryrog @happy-at-home @ceruleanrainblues @briarrose26

I just kinda created this taglist so if you would like to be taken off or added, just send me a message or ask!

Reminder that my requests are open! If you would like something in a sort of one shot format/length or blurb, etc. send it in! I’ll write for any of the Borhap or Queen boys (Freddie only platonically), Lucy, Patrick Murray, Gardner Langway and adult!Tim Murphy or possibly any of the other characters these people have played if I know enough about them!

[on-fic-writing-spree]

I’m gonna write?? A shit load of things I do down and uh can anyone tell me if these are normal things or not cause god I fucking hate not knowing and it tears me apart sometimes cause I really think there’s something wrong with me but I can’t say WHATS wrong with me and I hate not knowing but

Shit I do that honestly leads me to believe I have OCD or something at least:

I get into these weird moods where anytime I do something to one part of my body, I feel a need to do it to an opposite corresponding part. Even sometimes when it’s painful (mildly painful, I luckily haven’t gotten into these moods and seriously injure myself). If I don’t do it right I have to do it again. For example, if I tap my left first finger on something, I either have to tap all my fingers on my left hand, or my right finger. If my foot hits a wire, I have to hit my other foot on it. If I feel something under my nail and scrape my thumb under that nail, I have to repeatedly do it to each of my nails until it feels “right.”

If something doesn’t shut “right” I have to reshut it.

I can’t drink out of a cup anymore without rinsing it out. I standardly do this three times.

This one is kinda about something more personal but at one point we had bed bugs more recently (within the past two years I’ll give vaguely) and they were a huge pain to get rid of. When I was younger, the houses we lived in were real shit and they were far from clean (meaning yes there were bugs, this was when I was super young) and when I was a really little kid??? It never bothered me. But then when I had found out we had bed bugs and it was just such a pain in the ass to get rid of them, I couldn’t sleep, I straight up sat on my dresser all night and waited until morning. Then I’d tear apart my room, excessively vacuum, sweep, pour rubbing alcohol down all before I told my mom they were still there (my mom actually caught me tearing apart my bed frame to try and pour rubbing alcohol on it) and I just?? Broke the fuck down. Really badly. My mom bought heaters and we’ve rid ourselves of that problem luckily, but it absolutely?? Tore me the fuck apart, and that’s something I’ve developed rather than always felt.

Dirt under my nails (or anything) drives me nuts

Certain sounds or feelings make me grit and grind my teeth they feel awful

Textures in food fuck me up. Like any sort of seasoning that doesn’t dissolve besides pepper fucks me the fuck up when I’m trying to eat. I can’t swallow it. It isn’t like it doesn’t taste good, I can’t swallow it if the texture isn’t right.

Textures also fuck me up in terms of weird ass shit like my tomatoes have to be an exact firmness that’s consistent for the whole tomato or I won’t fucking touch it.

Intrusive thoughts and nightmares. They’re fucking bad. They’re really fucking bad and I can spend so long obsessing over them. Other times I have nightmares that I’m just so desensitized to that I don’t even react. Some of them I genuinely don’t think I could even say out loud because they were that terrifying and sickening.

If I touch raw meat, I wash my hands so many times. I actually once tried to keep count, and I washed my hands 7 times in the span of 10 minutes (and that’s what I could keep track of).

If anything touches anything that may have touched raw meat, it has to be cleaned twice, and I have to wash my hands. For example, if spill a little flour on the counter while making fried chicken, I have to wipe down the counter once to get off the flour, a second time with an anti bacterial cleaner (usually I do this more than once though). If a knife might have touched the bag that held a marinade (despite not getting the marinade on it) it has to be washed twice. I wash all dishes that involved raw meat twice.

Usually I don’t freak out about things that aren’t cleaned until I really notice them. My anxiety spikes while I clean, so while I’m wiping down the stovetop, I notice some grime on the handle bars, then I notice it at the edges of the oven, then I realize the whole front hasn’t been cleaned, and next thing I know I’ve been cleaning the stove for two hours and I can’t stop cleaning other things in the kitchen, constantly telling myself “it’s just this and this... and this... and that... and this...” and it drives me nuts if I get sent to bed before I can finish.

I’ve literally?? Started crying because my sister put something in some spot in the fridge and I was like “why would you put that there” and she was like “idk if you don’t like it do it yourself” and really I didn’t so I just started recognizing the fridge.

Yesterday: I drank out of a water bottle, not sure if it was mine or not, I glanced it and honestly I have no clue if it was air bubbles or backwash, but I immediately start gagging. So I go brush my teeth (with way too much toothpaste, and way too rough) and then rinse my mouth out 5 times, then go back out, get a new water bottle and rinse out my mouth until I am certain (you know how saliva is like more slimy than water??) that I only have water in my mouth. As if ANY OF THIS affects that I already drank the damn water.

Another weird thing I did recently: my cousin was doing my makeup, and she was using this homemade (as in like one of those DIY makeup kits) lipstick except she mentioned she had put the coloring from a nail polish in it and she got a little on my teeth. I couldn’t swallow my spit for about an hour, constantly spitting into the trash, and she had suggested maybe I just get a cup to spit into (the kid is a genius). It was a kid’s makeup kit!!! There’s nothing harmful in that shit!!! Anyway I ended up brushing my teeth several times and then forcing myself to swallow after rinsing out my mouth several times.

Sometimes people’s existence??? Just bothers the fuck out of me. Like my brother will be standing in the kitchen when I’m doing dishes, a few feet away and doing nothing, and his mere existence is just enough to piss me off. I just don’t think that’s normal???

After I wash the dishes, I have to wash my hands. Like my hands were just in soapy water?? Is there a point??

Despite all of this, I can’t keep my room clean for shit, but I know my makeup has to be organized in a specific way.

I get paranoid as shit that I’m going to hurt people, or that people will hurt themselves around me. Like there will be a knife somewhere near by and my brain will deadass think it’s going to drop and cut someone, so I MUST shove it back even though it wasn’t on the edge.

I once cried?? Because someone sent me a picture of a cup teetering on the edge of a table and god fuck??? I couldn’t stop?? It was so ridiculous???

I can’t write using pencils without a perfectly flat surface. I mean like textbook top kind of thing. Or if I’m drawing, I can use a mechanical one. But otherwise?? If I’m writing on top of wood?? Or desks that are made of that granite shit with the littlest texture differences?? No I can’t I have to write in pen and I’ve gotten in trouble from teachers for this

I don’t know. There’s more I’m sure. But like?? Can anyone with OCD or who shows a lot of these symptoms actually tell me if this is normal or if this is smth that’s actually not okay up with me? Cause idk it really fucks me up not knowing because I feel like there HAS to be an explanation???