#idk if i should even tag the other characters br

[melerbytes]

Hivebent: 34 sweeps later

[depresseddepot]

I have no idea how to make a post about this so I'll just say it. Pavlov was right and I know he was right because I learned coding over the summer and everytime I worked on it I chewed mint gum to give myself some physical stimulus so I didn't get bored and now everytime I write code I taste that same brand of mint gum.

[kaypeace21]

i’m a survivor too, and i found that certain scenes/stuff will said just really struck me as ‘csa-survivor’-like? i felt a bit uncomfortable about headcanoning it happening to someone else, especially for a fandom as wild as this one, but your metas have really been a comfort to me because they’ve been able to pick out and explain things that i couldn’t necessarily find the words for myself.

and yeah, i would love to have a character like me that is powerful and who finds love and who gets a happy ending. the people who call the theory disgusting always kinda hit wrong with me because although csa is a difficult subject, we shouldn’t be ashamed about sharing it. they sound like they’re trying to say that it’s a bad topic to talk about and implying that it can’t happen to kids, which uhhhhh-

(i’m sure that’s not what they mean, precisely, but it’s still what they sound like, and i wish that they would stop implying that we can’t exist, especially in popular media. we do, and i’m not gonna pretend we don’t, and if they feel uncomfortable with the topic they can just use the block button. we deserve to have some well written representation just as much as anyone else. also, i really really hope that will gets a happy ending.)

anywayyyy i love your theories and i can see your post in the tag so i think you’re fine?? have a good day ❤️❤️❤️

SORRY, this ask took so long to respond to. It always warms my heart to hear other survivors speak and say they found comfort in my theory.

Yes, I think I and a lot of c*a/r*pe victims (subconscious or otherwise) were triggered by some of the symbolism/visuals in s1-3. And s3 made it hard for most of us to ignore the past imagery- since s3 wasn’t as subtle.

I get why people have reservations about the theory. But the debates to the contrary are usually just plain offensive. Or people trying to be respectful but being the opposite. There’s the obvious bad-apples . I got many anons after part 1 of my DID theory saying it “ruined/tainted byler”, and “if that happened to Will i’ll stop shipping byler” , or that it  “ruins the best gay character” ,  and to “remove the post immediately”. And this was when I was open about being a gay c*a victim. I obviously blocked them. Many survivors don’t come forward because they’re afraid people will see them as “tainted”, “ruined”, “ just their trauma”, or blame them for what happened. So yeah, it pisses me off when people say similar stuff about Will (and thus other c*a victims). Not even diving into the messed up psychology about byler/mileven shippers (knowing i was a lesbian c*a victim) but purposely spreading bs rumors about me being a p*do that was into Will/Noah-all because of the theory. -_-

Then there’s the people who try to be “respectful” but literally do the opposite.

I’ve heard numerous times it’s somehow “less offensive” to just use r*pe imagery to make monsters scary. Rather than have  the monsters have that imagery cause Will created the monsters from his memory/imagination-and st is a story of Will healing from that trauma. SORRY- I disagree. Using the worst experiences of peoples’ lives (and triggering their trauma) for no real purpose- except to make their monsters scarier to the normal/general audience who haven’t gone through it so won’t be triggered like us - is MORE OFFENSIVE to victims! NOT LESS! At least to me.

Then there’s the people who say “c*a should never be talked about (in stories).” Which I disagree with. V*ctims have already been told by ab*ser’s  and enablers of the ab*ser- to never talk about what happened to us  . So it rubs A LOT of us the wrong way when people say this.  Because (subconscious or not) you remind some of us of the people who used to hurt/silence us. People say this -simply for their convenience (like ab*sers) and cause deep down they’re uncomfortable with our existence and equate the despicable act to us the innocent v*ctim ...or just want to deny the horrible reality of the situation (like many enablers who deny the truth and hurt us because they don’t want to accept reality) . And 1) It brings us back to a time where they told us to NEVER talk about it- and makes us feel like we did something wrong when we didn’t! 2) Every psych professional says with-holding/keeping the ab*se a secret is detrimental to our mental health.

Plus, there’s a HUGE difference between sugarcoating/minimizing trauma or WORSE glamorizing, condoning, or romanticizing C*A in stories (ex: pretty little liars) VS showing how the action is wrong, causes trauma, but showing recovery and happiness is still possible for v*ctims.  if the story shows how accurately traumatizing it is (instead of minimizing/glamorizing it)- it’s incredibly rare for that character to get a happy ending. Having a story about recovering from that type of trauma and finding happiness despite such hardships would be amazing for US survivors! We rarely get stories with a happy ending-  it’s more harmful to us survivors to never see ourselves get happy endings in tv/film/books. How can some survivors (in a dark place) think there’s a light at the end of the tunnel- if it’s never shown?Also if Will has DID too- it’s good mental health rep, along with queer rep (and survivor’s rep.) All 3 groups rarely are treated well or get happy endings in media. A lot of people may feel more heard, seen, and a bit more hopeful for the future - If Will (and other characters) get a happy ending.

And even though st has many themes- like say homophobia. To try and hand-wave all the disturbing  r*pe imagery away  as ‘Will is just gay so the monsters are like that”. IS SOOOOOO offensive. Trigger warning for examples. I’m sorry what part of Max saying when Billy had c*nsensual s*x it’s “good screams” but when possessed by the mf he causes Heather to do “bad screams” read as gay???! Having the possessed ch*ke/dr*g people before throwing them in trunks (like it’s implied Lonnie did to Will -since Jonathan checked Lonnie’s trunk for Will in s1)?Tying their arms and legs up/ g*ging  them and  getting on top of them and saying “stay VERY still it’ll all be over soon”-before a monster shoves it’s tentacle into someone’s mouth and inserts a goo - just gay??? Similar to the sentient vine/shadow monster forcing itself down Will’s throat. Let alone Will saying things like “he made me do it”, “i felt it everywhere”, or being tied to a bed and screaming “help! stop! it hurts! let me go!” While Jonathan is the only one who’s visibly triggered by this and has to literally turn away and hug someone . Or barb, billy, and El spiting up a white liquid from their mouth (similar to will spitting up a slug and lying to his mother about it ).El/billy touching a suspicious looking slime with their hand and looking at the substance confused . El drawing Papa with 3 legs (the middle one being shorter) ,  trying to undress in front of the boys , and Benny saying “I think she’s been ab*sed or something”.The theme of ab*sive dads- brenner , Lonnie, and Neil . Even when the demogorgan (called in d&d the “deep father”/ in the show “a man without a face”) attacked Barb it’s chopped up with scenes of Nancy having c*nsensual sex (the monsters are doing the opposite symbolically). There’s way more examples but NO- to try and hand wave /equate ALL OF THIS to just “gay imagery” or an “a*ds metaphor” is WAY more problematic. And just offensive (specifically to gay people) than just admitting what it may actually represent. R*pe imagery and gay imagery is NOT THE SAME THING!

Also ST has never been a kid show- maybe rewatch the show and see the rating of tv-14 . Goodness sake- s1 has a st*ged su*icde, k*dnappings, m*rder, discussions of physics, h*mophobia, and s*x (with stancy in s1 & jancy in s2-s3). S2/3 discuss at their finalies recovering from tra*ma . S2 had gra*ic de*ths,  a man causing a women br*in damage/ and faking her m*scarriage, and a gang of vigalantes k*lling criminals. s3 had critiques on capitalism /media/s*xism, many d*eaths, and questionable imagery like the prior seasons. The Duffers constantly reference  movies & events from the 80s (capitalizing on 80s nostalgia /subverting 80s motifs that middle age people  from that time remember)! Those people were their intended age demographic . Most 80s centric refs go over most kids’ heads (heck a lot went over my head too since I wasn’t alive in the 80s XD).The Duffers even said in the book “worlds turned upsidedown”  “it’s not a kid’s show despite having kids”. And maybe it’s a coincidence but when Lucas in s3 hands Will the “devil’s baby” firework (a hint about Lonnie) he says “18 and over only.” Which idk is a weird/random af line unless it’s foreshadowing that the show will get darker about various themes- and maybe even change ratings.

I get people wishing nothing bad ever happened to Will or Jonathan. And being apprehensive and not trusting the Duffers to do such a story justice (cause it’s difficult to do). But personally i trust them to do so tastefully with tact and not be exp*itative, (overly gr*fic) or offensive to v*ctims. You can disagree and think the show is about something else (or not trust the Duffers)- but it’d be great if people could stop using these other messed up talking points. While trying to appear ‘(fake) woke’ and like they care for victims- cause we see through it that you really don’t.

Have a lovely day anon ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Update- I just really agreed with and appreciate the tags in this reblog

[shyheadbanger]

im not happy abt that ending

this is just a vent post so sorry if it accidentally ends up in the tags for a certain character & ship that im trying to censor out

if you liked the ending hey good for you have fun with that im glad you did. there are a lot of things i genuinely enjoyed about endgame but i just wanted to write out my negative feelings about that ending bc while the way thors character was treated genuinely made me upset this is what i feel most comfortable talking about on my blog

beware: endgame spoilers!!!

i wanna start by saying i actually love p*ggy c*rter so much & i like st*ggy in some circumstances but rn the ship upsets me bc it just reminds me of that ending. like i feel kinda similar to before aou where i genuinely liked br*cen4t until the movie cam out, then i hated the ship, but im back to liking it in some circumstances but def ignoring canon decisions bc they were Not Good. i know i probably will end up being ok with st*ggy again but for now its in my serious NOTP area bc just thinking about it makes me upset

ok so im not happy with steve going back to live his life with p*ggy it feels so wrong esp since hes erasing the life she had after she had very much moved on. it feels like she has no agency in whether or not she gets to decide her future bc it seems like steve decides for her & therefore decides for her whole family. whole people have now never been born & honestly it makes the st*ron kiss in cacw so much worse bc steve has now made out with his own niece. like we dont see him truly grieving for the friends he lost in iw but for some reason hes super hung up on p*ggy now.

it also gives two potential alternatives to steves character, neither of which im a fan of tbh:

he does very little to change the past to ensure the future. i am not a fan of this bc it means that steve rogers sat idly by while hydra was growing inside of shield & while bucky was being actively tortured let alone having him try to stop other issues. it feels like a giant “fuck you” to the same guy who says “if i see a situation pointed south i cant ignore it” & “i dont like bullies. i dont care where theyre from.” that steve rogers could NEVER sit idly by while all that shit is going down. in cacw, we see bucky actively struggling with his self worth & he tells steve that “[he doesnt know if he’s] worth all this”, whether it be steves time, his care, whatever & then steve goes & proves him right by leaving him. even though ill admit im more of a stucky shipper, it doesnt matter how you see steve & buckys relationship, if he even slightly cared about bucky & even just looking at the fact that if this is the true path then he actively chose to do nothing with regards to his torture. im sorry but if this is who the writers claim he is then he should not be worthy of mjolnir or even p*ggy’s love bc that would say a whole lot about his character & i truly dont believe she could love a man who would do that to supposedly his best friend. this would not be steve rogers.

he actively changes things in accordance to what we know his character to be. he saves bucky, stops hydra, who knows what else, certainly not us. this means that even through all those changes the timeline would branch so little that it would let him come back to that timeline, which means that hydra are the most pathetic villain organization to exist because for everything hydra tried to do there was so little impact on the world. this undermines hydras use narratively as villains and also devalues buckys suffering and p*ggy’s achievements in the original timeline. it basically means that these powerful & important characters & everything they do is pretty much meaningless & has no impact or value. fuck that too.

honestly i have no conclusion for this post im just pretty unhappy with this characterization. honestly aside from the implications of the st*ggy relationship in the movie i loved steves character. ill admit i mostly had a lot of fun. maybe another day ill post about what bothers me about thors character but tbh thats really super personal for me & not just me being upset about canon so idk

[meichangvevo]

@tariqah replied to your post

“RIGHT i think it’s a shame bc fma’s homunculi rlly provide such an...”

I KIN YOUR WHOLE TAG and the whole they’re just fighting narrative doesn’t make sense when you look at the fact that Amestris itself was created through imperialism and by conquering smaller nations like / Falman was talking about it during the underground scen in Briggs / So the Ishval vs Amestris conflict is in no way an isolated event either / Liek remmebrr the scene when the Ishvalans Scar gathered entered someone’s house and that lady just kept screaming while technically they were saving her life / Zjskaksjjsjsuisisa I got so angry br also major kin moment / Like I still find the military characters in FMA to have been VERY WELL written and actually likeable in their personalities alone but when you see the barebones of it this was the most reformist weirdo group on earth I hate / Also we should have had a scene where Scar actually gathers Ishvalans / MORE than Mustang, the man who tucking annoys me is the bastard Marcoh / Because truly Marcoh had no right to give him the stone like, remember in the last scene he’s practicing even when he’s blind? Just let him stay blind smh or Scar should have been there smh Marcoh did not have the RIGT to do that bs

ohhh my god the more i think abt it the more it is soooo disappointing seeing how arakawa had set up such a brilliant critique of the intwining nature between imperialism and militarism and then she... not only doesnt see the necessity for it to be abolished but also believes the military (no thanks @ roy) can be an agent in promoting peace LMAO?? and yea they never mention the legitimacy of the briggs fortress (or any of the other borders) and the constant escalation against drachma again even tho they all kno it’s just another installation of the transmutation circle... like logically as long as the govt is interconnected to the military and they reinforce (post-promised day) institutions of border conflict then normalization w/ any nations can never be achieved ajsdkjljanskbhas i bet even socdems should know that idk what arakawa was thinking on that one

scar rlly shouldve been the among the main ppl leading all of this i hate how the ishvalans were just in the background during all of this... i rlly need to know how arakawa would portray the process of them collectively agreeing to cooperate w/ mustang n armstrong bc to me that doesnt make much sense esp if they’re being told everything regarding the homunculi/philosopher’s stone lool id think it would make them even more apprehensive of being dependent on select military officials for govt change n reform

also marcoh rlly is bastard and it’s worse in the anime too bc the writers had him admit that giving mustang the stone was due to his own desire for mustang to see again n not the sacrificed ppl’s... UGH even in the manga it’s frustrating how can marcoh claim to atone for his crimes and then think he has the right to decide a perpetuator of genocide is entitled to that stone even conditionally.. literally he didnt need to ask mustang for permission to go to ishaval n be a doctor there he shouldve just made it out irregardless of the bs military hierarchy 

[clowngore]

thank you for tagging me ?? @fucktional-slytherpuff idk you but wow great Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people. 1. What is your nickname? nizh probably 2. What is your zodiac sign? sagittarius 3. What is your favorite book series? i can't read 4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? hell ya 5. Who is your favorite author? i can't read 6. What is your current favorite song? tbh the first youtube result for kashmir metal cover because kashmir is the song gwendoline thinks of when she's in character as phasma so it's like, her theme song, but the metal cover fits her more y'know 7. What is your favorite word? fuck 8. What was the last song you listened to? haunted mansion theme song 9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? game of thrones bc i'm stereotypical 10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? idfk but airplane and tombstone are always things i'll watch 11. Do you play video games? (sims music playing) (minecraft grass blocks breaking) (star wars lego theme song) yeah i'm a gamer B) 12. What is your biggest fear? being average 13. What is your best quality, in your opinion? every single thing i love myself 14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my ability to get overwhelmed after being alive for .5 seconds 15. What is your favorite season? autumn? or winter but i just really love halloween 16. Are you in a relationship? nah 17. What is something you miss from your childhood? cali-fucking-fornia 18. Who is your best friend? yumi n izzy n felix are the best friend trio 19. What is your eye color? l ight br o wn ?? ? 20. What is your hair color? rn it's purple but naturally it's dark brown almost black 21. Who is someone you love? the goddess of the universe who saved all of our souls simply by existing, gwendoline christie, 22. Who is someone you trust? the friend trio 23. Who is someone you think about often? ....................gwen 24. Are you currently excited about/for something? death 25. What is your biggest obsession? star wars or game of thrones idk 26. What was your favorite TV show as a child? spongebob hell yea 27. Do you have any unusual phobias? cherophobia 28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both 29. What is your favorite hobby? crying 30. What was the last book you read? i can't read 31. What was the last movie you watched? my cousin vinny i think 32. What musical instruments do you play, if any? sort of guitar but i'm shit 33. What is your favorite animal? bears bears bears bears bears 34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? literally blog that consistently posts abt gwendoline 35. What superpower do you wish you had? shapeshifting 36. When and where do you feel most at peace? in my room, at night, aaaaaaaa and also the haunted mansion and pirates of the caribbean (the disneyland rides) lmao my childhood 37. What makes you smile? gwendoline. captain phasma. brienne of tarth. people complimenting me. cool clothing. me, when i look good. 38. What sports do you play, if any? is suffering a sport 39. What is your favorite drink? i fucking love matcha frappuccino with two shots of espresso 40. Are you afraid of heights? more like "don't push (person) off don't push them off don't push don't push them do not push them off don't do it i swear to god if you push them, which you will not, i will kill you do not push them" 41. What is your biggest pet peeve? gender roles and biases 42. Have you ever been to a concert? (laughs for an uncomfortably long time) (wipes tear) yeah 43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? an actor or a singer or a president and damn nizh 2/3 44. What fictional world would you like to live in? star wars fuckin duh 45. What is something you worry about? currently school and This Person 46. Are you scared of the dark? nah 47. Do you like to sing? FUCK YEah 48. Have you ever skipped school? refer to 42 49. What is your favorite place on the planet? my room or disneyland 50. Where would you like to live? kerry co ireland or outside of sapporo japan 51. Do you have any pets? ya i got a cat n a dog 52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? i like when the sun is on the opposite side of the world 54. Do you know how to drive? ): 55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones kill me 56. Have you ever had braces? yeah it's hell 57. What is your favorite genre of music? is rock too vague 58. Who is your hero? i can't answer these questions with anything other than gwendoline dhjsfjkdjs 59. Do you read comic books? i wish i would get around to it 60. What makes you the most angry? refer to 41 61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? i like real books but i'm so lazy that i'm more likely to read digital 62. What is your favorite subject in school? leaving 63. Do you have any siblings? unfortunately i have two 64. What was the last thing you bought? that implies that i have money to spend (probably clothes) 65. How tall are you? 5'0 or 5'1 idk 66. Can you cook? can i use my brain ever 67. What are three things that you love? gwendoline, my ego, sleeping 68. What are three things that you hate? refer to 42, homophobes/transphobes, overwhelming things 69. What is your sexual orientation? bi???? idk but i love girls and in between and boys are kinda iffy i'm not sure if i like them i don't think so but it's Confusing 70. Where do you currently live? unfortunately the united states of prejudice 71. Who was the last person you texted? yumi 72. When was the last time you cried? idk last night prolly 73. Who is your favorite YouTuber? no one ? 74. Do you like to take selfies? ya way too much but it's justified bc i'm great 75. What is your favorite app? tumblr idk 76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? it's fine 77. What is your favorite foreign accent? gwen's 78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? idfk i'm too tired for this 79. What is your favorite number? 13 because i like to be edgy 80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? space, the ocean is confining 81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? idk i do what i want to 82. Are you allergic to anything? chocolate. dairy. idk 83. Can you wiggle your ears? i don't think so? 84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i'm never wrong 85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? hhhhhhhhhhhhh idk??????? 86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? nobody has given me advice but, everything gwen says is rly good and basically what i can say is: do things that you want if they, logically, make sense and are reasonable and don't hurt anyone. rules that are based on nothing and are just rules to be rules don't need to be followed. judge whether people need to be respected, only respect authority that deserves respect. society is wrong most of the time. if people don't like you it's not your problem and they can cry about it, you're still great and just because some ugly loser is wrong about you doesn't mean that you're automatically worse. 87. Are you a good liar? i'm an actor so 88. What is your Hogwarts House? idk 89. Do you talk to yourself? mhm 90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 91. Do you keep a journal/diary? i don't even keep my thoughts consistently 92. Do you believe in second chances? depends 93. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yeah but i don't wanna be the one to do it 94. Are you ticklish? literally nowhere 95. Have you ever been on a plane? ya a shitload 96. Do you have any piercings? my ears twice but i want more 97. What fictional character do you wish was real? literally take a fuckin guess (phasma) 98. Do you have any tattoos? god i wish 99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? refer to 86. the decision to not care and to judge things for myself def makes me feel better about myself and the world because the pressures of society need to fuck off 100. Do you believe in karma? sorta 101. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no 102. Do you want children? adopt older (10+) children when i'm older 103. Who is the smartest person you know? lmao me (idk) 104. What is your most embarrassing memory? when i was in kindergarten this girl said her favorite color was either pink or purple and i really aggressively raised my hand pointing 1 finger and said "black!!" and everyone stared at me and my life has never been that bad 105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? way too many times 106. What color are most of you clothes? black 107. Do you like adventures? idk i don't do shit 108. Have you ever been on TV? god i wish 109. How old are you? no 110. What is your favorite quote? "i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity" and it's not because of the emo reason you think it actually makes sense if i explain it 111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? idk 112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you? side-eyes That Person 113. What is your favorite scent? cold 114. Random fact you know? every penny made before 1982 is actually almost fully copper, and if melted down is worth 2 cents 115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships? hard. just, really hard. not sure if it's worth it 
Tagging: @yumikoflare @one-bad-apple @boxer-pup @erosiian @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell and if anyone else wants to do them you should message me so i know to tag you in the future LOL

[finsterhund]

Work on  the revived official Heart of Darkness website is never over! - a little update

Even though the website (or as much of it that wayback archived) has been up in its entirety for a while now, the archivist work behind getting the site up to snuff is never truly over. Whenever I’m at a particularly low place in my life I do more monotonous tasks.

This week, I figured I’d give an update because I finally got around to fixing something that’s been bothering me for a while.

The hit counter!

But I’ll save that for last. I have some more smaller updates.

While probably not the biggest deal, mostly because many people wouldn't bother checking them, I've decided to work on the HTML of the pages themselves, making the code appear much more closely to how it actually did on the original website. This basically means tiny little changes like capitalizing tags such as the <BR> and <BODY> ones that one of my HTML editing programs in the past thought it was okay to “modernize” and shifting up orderings of some stuff. Purely aesthetic, and not even something that visibly looks different on the pages themselves.

I've also been shifting around directories. Originally when uploading the site it was easier to just dump every single image file into the /images/ directory, but originally the site split things up neater, with more of them like /jpg/ and others. So I've been starting the slow process of moving the images around just so that in the code itself and the sitemap it more closely resembles the original.

I've also changed up some slight aesthetic things to text I've added on the site. The donate button and message is less intrusive.

Heads up though. I accidentally overwrote the second frame of the French HoD_main. So it’s not there. I’m working on getting it back from my backup, but I figured I’d finish with the English main page just in case I accidentally do it again.

(and on that subject, I’m never going to fix the typo in the 404 page. I've grown too fond of it. Even though it was something I made for my archive, I think it’s a staple of the site at this point, what with how much everything used to 404 in the early days of bringing it back.)

Also on topic, but I noticed some directories were accessible. Similar to the Paper Beast leaks, this is rarely left on purpose. If you discover any please let me know and I’ll patch them up. Visible bare directories feel so wrong to me. Like just looking at them will make the webmaster angry with me. I also noticed that our beautiful custom 403 page isn't working. Who knows really? Idk. I've tried everything I can think of. From the option in cpanel to manually editing the htaccess. Nope. Giving me the ugly default one. Maybe it’s temporary.

I also noticed a little issue with Opera internet browser that adds some tiny little transparent spaces after things that can mess with <center> aligned pages. It’s a really stupid thing and it makes me annoyed with Opera a bit. It’s most noticeable on the pages where the images are split up into multiple parts because it shifts the last one to the left a bit, making the image look like it was glued together poorly.

Fortunately it isn't a problem with Firefox or Chrome, and I was able to fix it in Opera without ruining it in the other browsers. It does mean that on many pages a single <BR> tag is in a different exact spot in the page than it was on the original site, but it’s so minor I figured everyone would prefer it looking right in Opera over the historical accuracy of the HTML itself. I’ll be going through the site every so often in Opera to see if this problem shows up elsewhere.

And now, for the hit counter!

Originally, on the 1997-1998 version of the second frame of the menu page (Main_frm02.html) there was a hit counter. It used the font that the menus of the site use. The function of this counter seemed to be in PHP and had each digit from 0-9 as its own separate .gif file in the directory “/images/digits/a/” 

When I first set about fixing this counter I had no idea how to create one in PHP that would use the original .gif digits, so I instead made another one that listed the full number of visitors in a single image that it created automatically. This is a more advanced and modern option, but it’s one I obviously didn't want to use for that reason, as well as it not visibly looking like the original one. I made a chart to demonstrate:

as you can see, you needed to manually set the font size, and in order to make it closer resemble the original I’d have had to adjust the spacing between the numbers too, which I didn't know how to do. I also noticed that the natural way the numbers fall in the fontface is different than how they were centered in their original .gif files, which means that using this method would never recreate the original to a tee anyways,

so I scoured the internet for code that I could create a hit counter with individual image files for the digits like the original and then I’d modify it to suit my needs. Which evidently happened. It took a bit to implement, mostly because I’m an idiot and decided to do this at 2AM after taking my sleeping medicine. 

The way my brain works is it’s not sharp enough at the intentional sleep deprived state I often am in to negate the effects of PTSD. Turns out I need my hypervigilance to work with code because the lifestyle I use to dull it also muddies my brain when it comes to programing languages, even simple ones like PHP. I’m hoping this can be avoided when I finally am put on new medicine. The entire process was rather humiliating when I woke up this afternoon and immediately figured out what I had been doing wrong. I needed to embed a php file of the script running. Not put the script into the page itself. Aka I was trying to write it out in the file when I should have just wrote it out in another php file and then stick a “<?php include” into the page. The page also needed to be a PHP file, not HTML, which I didn't want to do for authentic “just like the original” sake, but you can’t really tell unless you dig in the code. Looking back on social media where I was whining about how I couldn't get it to work was pretty embarrassing. This is the exact way my brain muddies itself in all situations though. I had it explained to me like this once: “You’re too smart for your own good. You think you need to work harder to solve an easy solution and you just end up blinding yourself to it in the process.” It’s extremely frustrating.

BUT!!! It’s finally working!!! It looks just like the original! It even uses the same directories for the images! It now logs all hits instead of unique ones though so... hmmmm... be careful.

I did have to create new .gifs for 0 4 and 9 because they weren't originally saved by wayback though. You might be able to tell that because they have strange red-ish pixels around the outside of the white number. I’m going to be working on making them look like the official ones but for now you’d have to zoom in on them to see it.

but anyways, that’s it. I don’t usually provide updates like this for the website, but I decided I wanted to in order to help myself feel better. 

A reminder to Heart of Darkness fans who may not know, but there used to be an official website at HeartofDarkness.com but it went down in the early 2000s. I painstakingly downloaded every file from Wayback and recreated the website at HeartofDarkness.ca that you are free to check out and run around in now. 

It’s got rare promotional art, a press bible with character write ups, some level screens, and a ton of 90s-tastic frames! Only the best websites are built with frames! 

It’s missing a few things that weren't saved like some images, so if you have those old files from the original site I’d be very much interested in getting them from you. I originally recreated the site because it wasn't accessible on Wayback due to robots.txt protocol. Briefly though it was, so I rapidly saved everything. Originally the highlight menus (in java) didn't work which made navigating the archive hard. As of late the current owner of the domain allows Wayback to show the archive, and Wayback even added Java support so the menus work, but I've managed to fix some issues with images being missing that a friend had managed to save after all these years so I think my archive is still the definitive version. Wayback has also been acting up for me lately, so other that citing it as the official source (it’s proof that those pages existed back then at all) it’s likely more reliable to use my archive instead.

[anditsxsorrows-archive]

hi do you have a rules page you can link me to? or at least copy paste them to this ask..? Thanks!

~ HELLO THERE ANON sorry my rules are in a tab thingin my links, sorry but I shall copy and paste them right here!under the cut ofc

HI I’M FISH! I’M 26 AND I FCKIN LOVE WRITING OK. NO SERIOUSLY IT’S DOUBTFUL I’LL SAY NO TO ANYTHING LOL. I LOVE WRITING AND I LOVE RPING, IT’S MY FAVORITE. WELL, NO JOSEPH MORGAN IS MY FAVORITE BUT THAT’S ANOTHER STORY LOL. I SHOULD STATE THAT MY ONLY TRIGGERS ARE PROBABLY PEDOPHELIA, RAPE & ANYTHING SEXUAL OR SERIOUSLY AWFUL TO CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF LIKE 15 OR SO. OTHER THAN THAT I HARDLY HAVE TRIGGERS AND I’M USUALLY ON EVERY DAY AND MY SKYPE/KIK/DISCORD ARE AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. WELCOME TO MAH RULES AND HOPE TO RP!

OOC

I DON’T POST MANY OOC POSTS REALLY IN GENERAL BUT MY ASK AND IM ARE ALWAYS OPEN FOR MUTUALS. MY SKYPE AND KIK ARE ALSO AVAILABLE ON REQUEST. I RP ON BOTH SOCIAL PLATFORMS TBH, IF ANYONE WANTS THEM.

I DON’T LIKE TO BE HOUNDED OR PESTERED HONESTLY, BUT THEN WHO DOES? I GOT YOUR MESSAGE, YOUR IM, ETC, AND I’LL ANSWER THEM.

RPING/CONTENTS

I DO HAVE MAINS AND USUALLY I GO BACK AND FORTH AND SUCH WITH MOST OF THEM. BUT I DO DEFINITELY RP WITH MULTIPLES OF THE SAME CHARACTERS

WHAT WITH NEARLY 200 DRAFTS ON THIS ACCOUNT I USUALLY DO DRAFTS ONCE A MONTH OR SO BUT I HAVE RECEIVED THEM. IF YOUR DRAFT NEVER GOES OUT, YOU CAN CONTACT ME JUST DON’T PESTER - THAT’S NEVER FUN REALLY. I ALWAYS POST ALL THREADS IN MY QUEUE, CONVINIENTLY TAGGED.

I DON’T MAKE OPENS AND I RARELY (IF EVER) POST STARTER CALLS EXCEPT FOR GROUP VERSES. I DON’T USUALLY REPLY TO FOLLOW BACK OPEN STARTERS UNLESS I LIKE FOR ONE.

MEME CONTINUATION IS DEFINITELY A THING. I’LL USUALLY ASK YOU IF I CAN CONTINUE ONE I’VE SENT YOU. AS FOR YOU REPLYING TO ME, I ENJOY THAT IMMENSELY! ALL I ASK IF THAT YOU TRANSFER THE CONTINUATION IN ANOTHER POST INSTEAD OF REBLOGGING THE ASK.

THIS IS DEFINITELY A MAIN ACCOUNT

I RP PARAS/ONE LINERS/MEMES. I DO EITHER PLOTTING, OR I ALSO RUN WITH IT AS WELL. AND HONESTLY PLOTTING IS MY LIFE

ALL ICONS I’VE MADE, NONE OF GIFS I’VE MADE HOWEVER. YOU CAN TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT, REALLY I DON’T CARE. LOL

I WILL ALWAYS RP WITH OC’S AND CANON CHARACTERS.

SHIPPING

I SHIP ANYTHING THAT MAKES SENSE AND I FIND KLAUS IS A VERY SHIPPABLE CHARACTER FOR SOME REASON? ( JUST ME? IDK ) BUT SERIOUSLY MENTION A SHIP AND I’LL PROBABLY BE DOWN FOR IT. ALTHOUGH I USUALLY TEND TO WRITE KLAUS AS HETEROSEXUAL, AS HE’S WRITTEN IN CANON. ( NO SPECIFIC REASON BUT YEAH ) I RECOGNIZE ALL CANON SHIPS AS ONES THAT HAVE HAPPENED UNLESS YOU DON’T WISH TO. ALTHOUGH I DON’T LIKE THREADS TO JUST BE ABOUT SHIPPY THINGS ( ALTHOUGH I’M NOT BEYOND A GOOD SHIP BASED PLOT HONESTLY )

WHILE I DO HAVE MY OTPS ( YOU’LL KNOW FROM WHAT I HAVE TAGS FOR AND REBLOG ) SHIP WARS IS APPARENTLY A THING? YEAH, THAT ISN’T MY BAG AT ALL

SMUT/NSFW

SO NSFW CONTENT IS EVERYWHERE. I USUALLY DON’T TAG TRIGGERS. ESPECIALLY SINCE I DON’T USUALLY REBLOG OVERLY SEXUAL OR GORY THINGS. BUT THIS IS KLAUS MIKAELSON, HE’S VIOLENT, HE’S SADISTIC, HE’S PRETTY MUCH THE PERFECT BAD GUY.SO THERE WILL BE THAT TYPE OF NSFW CONTENT HERE.

AS FOR SMUT I DON’T WRITE IT, NOT REALLY. I MEAN FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN IT HAS TO BE SOMEONE I REALLY KNOW. SO IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR PURELY SMUT THREADS YOU WON’T FIND THEM HERE. I DON’T SHIP BASED ON OUR CHARACTERS DOING THE DO. AND OF COURSE NO UNDER 18 PEEPS WITH THIS. YOU KNOW THE DEAL

CANON/AU

I AM IN NO WAY A CANON DIVERGENT BLOG. EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED IN CANON HAS HAPPENED IN KLAUS’ MAIN VERSE. I DON’T PICK APART CANON AT ALL AND I RECOGNIZE IT AS IT WAS WRITTEN.

HOWEVER THIS IS MULTI VERSE AND I’M ALWAYS A SUCKER FOR A GREAT AU SO WE CAN PLOT WHATEVER AND I’LL BE DOWN WITH IT. I’M COMPLETELY UP TO DATE ON BOTH THE ORIGINALS AND THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. I HAVE MY OWN FANDOMS BUT I WILL RP WITH ANY FANDOM AROUND EVEN IF I DON’T KNOW IT. THERE IS SUCH A THING AS GOOGLE.