#idk if i need to tag it but i knew someone before who had issues w trans men being pregnant so

[aesthetixhoe]

paparazzi — J.C.

warnings: cursing, angst, mentions of anxiety/self worth issues,

word count: ---

pronouns used: none!

request: can u write where like us and jack are out like at the mall abd fans come up to us asking for photos and all that? (were also a actor/actress. idk is this made sense to u😭)

authors note: I added a bit of other stuff into this, so sorry if this isn't what you wanted. i love this idea deeply! <3

Being an actor and going to the mall was... Stressful. You never knew if you would be recognized, so you always had to wear presentable clothing, plus you didn't know if the people who would recognize would even like you.

The mall was no exception. With the endless stores filled with fellow teenagers and young adults who knew both you and Jack, there was bound to be at least one person who knew you.

Going out with Jack was easier than being alone. He's always there to tell you that no matter who you see, or how they feel about you, you still have fans that love you... Including him. He'll hold your hand, and tell you to squeeze it if you get anxious, give you more small kisses than usual (which is already a lot). The PDA worries you further, thinking that if someone who likes him more sees you two kissing that they'll post about it and try cancelling you or something, but the love is worth it.

You came to the mall to go shopping, you needed some more casual clothes, and Jack needed some higher end items for a premier. Walking into the mall was thankfully uneventful, but once you got further into the populace of the mall, that's when the pictures started.

It wasn't paparazzi standing right inside waiting to run you down but to get pictures, but there were teenage girls who found Jack attractive. While you were also an actor, and have also been in popular things, you weren't a hot boy...

“Oh my god! You're Jack Champion. Holy shit, can we get a picture with you?!” And so it started. He obviously said yes and you moved to the side, not before he kissed your hand though. He wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulder, smiling big for her friend with the camera. They switched so the previous camera girl could get in on it. They thanked him before walking past, both still bright red, slightly shaky and whispering about how cute he was. You had to agree.

About every 30 feet was another person asking for a picture, or autograph. He would stop and gladly do whatever pose they asked for, or sign whatever they wanted. He loved all of his fans, and was willing to do anything for them.

After splitting up and going to your designated stores to buy the items you needed, you two found each other.

The walk to leave was mostly uninterrupted, just a few people recognizing you two and taking pictures. “Looks like we have some paparazzi huh?” Jack jokes, smiling at you. God he's so pretty.

“Yeah...” You say in mindless agreement. You were too busy looking at his smile and the way it made his eye squint slightly.

“Stop staring.” He says as he blushes and looks away. He loves your attention, but it doesn't stop him from blushing every time.

Once you two were home you spent time scrolling through Instagram, looking at the posts jack was tagged in, seeing all the pictures fans had taken with him.

Then... There was a picture of you.

It was a “news” Instagram account that posted celebrity sightings.

“Ah, I see you've found the stalker photos...” Jack chuckles as he approaches the back of the couch. He puts his chin on your shoulder watching as you scroll through the pictures.

“Yeah. I'm actually... Kinda flattered?” You almost ask. He hops over the back of the couch to join you in sitting. He looks at you questioningly.

“What do you mean?” He asks quietly. You hated having candids taken, they ‘always looked bad.’

You look at him before looking down embarrassed. “Well... Normally it's just pictures of you. And I hate photos, you know that, but... It feels nice to be recognized. I just feel like an accessory to you sometimes...” You admit softly.

He grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. Once you make eye contact, both of his hands settle on either of your cheeks to keep your head steady.

“[Y/n], you'll never be an accessory. You're your own person. You're an amazing actor, and an even better person.” He states into your eyes, and you can feel something. Something warm deep inside of your stomach. Something in your chest, like you'd just drank a hot drink on a cold day that warmed up your insides.

“I love you.” You breathe out, thoughtlessly. Thoughtlessly.

Your eyes widen in shock as your mouth falls agape. You actually said it... Holy shit. He's silent. Oh fuck. Oh god. This was such a mistake.

“Jack, I am so sorry. I-I wasn't thinking and it just fell out and I know we haven't said it yet, and I don't want you to feel obligated to say it back but I just-”

“I love you too.” He smiles softly, leaning in to kiss your lips. It felt like the stars aligned and the earth stopped spinning and time stopped and everything else people use to describe being in love.

You pull away, looking into his eyes, tears welling in yours. “Are you ok? Should I not have said it?” He asks, brows furrowed in worry.

“No!” You exclaim grinning, then reaching your fingers to the nape of his neck, “I'm just so in love with you.”

[bp-zb1fics]

A little crazy

pairing: overprotective bf shanbin x s/o reader

genre: university au on unhingedness (same verse as perils, and no, it's not lasik), fluff

tw/tags: established relationship, some stereotypical characters, hanbin has a few quirks, character study lowkey, unwanted flirting, unintentional flirting, pet names, intimidation, he's sweet but a psycho, drinking, getting a lil tipsy, lowkey stalker vibes but not really, for plot purposes we will find it cute, threatening, idk how to tag this pls tell me if i missed something

wc: 2078

summary: your boyfriend is legitimately the sweetest person ever…except when someone tries to make moves on you. Then he gets…well…

a/n my advanced birthday fic for hanbin! Bc idk why I thought it was today I must have hallucinated but also idk if I have time to post on the actual day bc of real life commitments lmao whoops I struggle and try my best. Shout out to Kara aka @boysplanetmorelike for sparking this lil idea~

Check my pinned for more fics~

It’s not like he was perfect, even if people liked to think he was. Well, yes he is very boyfriend. That’s why he’s your boyfriend.

You, of all people, can attest to the fact he isn’t perfect. You’ve seen his hair in the morning. He’s definitely not at his prettiest. Sometimes he becomes a little control freak. You know that. You’re the one who they call to get him before he makes one of the poor freshmen cry unintentionally and then ends up feeling guilty about it and apologising profusely for the rest of the day, your poor soft-hearted man. And some might argue that yes he has his little ticks but they’re only minor character flaws if they can be considered flaws at all.

If only they knew.

Those who have had the pleasure of getting to know Sung Hanbin on a more, well, personal level are probably the only ones who will ever know. Poor souls, really.

And perhaps it isn’t as effective to explain as it is to show what exactly one of his more problematic personality issues is. Let’s take one unsuspecting, innocent afternoon.

Perspective. You’ve just finished class. It’s a pleasant day. You decide to meet at one of the benches under the trees outside your building. His class finishes a bit after yours so you wait, scrolling through your phone, peaceful, unbothered.

Enter unfortunate victim. For the purpose of this exercise, he shall remain unnamed. We’ll call him Victim #444. Or well, that guy.

He’s your typical fuckboy. Good looking in a sort of lukewarm way, hugely overconfident, probably thinks he has a bigger dick than he actually does, a horrible flirt, we’ve all met that type.

You share a class together. That’s how he makes conversation. Otherwise, he might not dare to approach at that time. Your talk goes something like this.

“Hey, you’re in Choi-seongsaengnim’s class too right?”

“Yeah?” You look up from your phone and he’s just there. He takes a seat on the same bench without asking. Well, it’s public property but he’s a little closer than you would like.

“He’s such a hardass, don’t you think? Like sure, he knows the lesson but he doesn’t need to act like this is the only class we’re taking.”

“Well, I mean-”

“-Like seongsaengnim, come on, I have a life outside of trying to figure out what the fuck your lessons mean.” You can add self-absorbed and stupid to this one’s list of notable traits.

“I think-” And definitely not letting you get a word in.

“Speaking of, have you got a partner for the latest project? Because, you know, I’ve been asked but I’m happy to make an exception if you want to pair up.”

“Actually, I already have-”

“Let me give you my number so we can contact each other? Maybe meet up, you know? I’ve got a nice little place to myself on the other side of campus.”

Ugh, as if. He’s leaning in so close that you can smell his cheap cologne. Before you can get up from the bench, arms wrap around you from the back and a very familiar voice coos in your ear.

“Ahh nae sarang, sorry I’m late.”

You turn your head, leaning into him.

“Hi Binnie-yah.”

He beams at you before directing his stare at the other guy. And so it begins.

“Oh, who’s this?”

You’re pretty sure Hanbin knew who this was. He knew who everyone was and at least one notable thing about them because he was quirky like that. Well, he wasn’t known as the university’s social butterfly for nothing. And you don’t want to spoil his fun so you let the guy introduce himself.

“Ah, you’re taking that major, yeah? So Junho-yah is your senior, how is he these days?”

“Oh, ah yes, Junho-sunbaenim’s been doing well, I don’t really see him around much actually.”

And bingo. The guy starts squirming. Faster than it usually takes. Your boyfriend’s made himself comfortable even though he’s half-hunched over and resting his chin on your shoulder, looking at the other guy with an unwavering stare. Sort of the way a spider would probably look at a fly before, well, you know.

“Really, well last I heard from him, he was complaining about how disrespectful his underclassmen are…but you’re not like that, aren’t you?”

“Ah, no, of course not sunbaenim.”

You can feel Hanbin’s smile get wider, his eyes crinkling in a way that you find adorable but you suspect might not be as cute for your unfortunate companion.

“That’s good, keep up the good work. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if any of my underclassmen were being disrespectful. Ah well, actually I can….”

He pauses and you swear that the guy stops breathing.

“...and I can definitely say that they’ll be very sorry that they even tried that with me.” Hanbin continues cheerily.

Suddenly he walks over and starts patting him on the shoulder. The guy flinches back.

“So next time, remember to be on your best behaviour and keep being polite, hmm? Don’t be so obvious? Maybe try not to be so shameless, yeah?”

“Ah, yes, of course, sunbaenim. Actually I- I just remembered I- I have to go- ah- sorry to disturb um- excuse me-”

You watch as he does a roughly 90 degree bow to both of you before walking off quickly.

“Less than 5 minutes, Binnie, that’s a new record.”

And your cute boyfriend is back, pouting and grabbing at your hands and squeezing them softly. If you were anyone else, you would have gotten whiplash.

“It’s not my fault if I want you all to myself, hmmm?”

Did you mention that your boyfriend was a little off in the head? Not in the should-be-confined-to-the-mental-hospital way but that slight sort of insanity that possesses him when someone tries to go for his little brother (rip Gunwook) or his little sister or his close friends or well, you.

And everyone else? Everyone else was not safe. If murder was legal, literally everyone else would probably be fearing for their lives. Which is probably a good thing that murder isn’t legal. Those incredibly lucky bastards.

Take one of the freshmen trying to chat you up during a party. They’ve been incredibly nice all evening, pouring you drinks and asking you all sorts of thoughtful questions about the major. So yes, you’re very happy to answer and give them little tips on how to ace a certain project.

“And it’s honestly fine if you mess up a little on your first test for Hwang-seongsaengnim’s class, he’s very nice when it comes to students forgetting a few names so don’t stress too much about it and make sure to ace the extra credit he gives.”

“Oh, thank you so much sunbaenim. That’s so helpful, I’ll definitely try my best.”

You can’t help but smile. So cute. Maybe it was the alcohol but you remember how it was like being a wide-eyed, overeager freshman listening attentively to your own seniors.

“It’s really no problem. Ask me anything, anytime. Seriously, don’t be afraid if you need advice.”

You reach over to pat them, swaying just a little from the amount of soju running through your body. They’re awfully red as well. You wonder why.

“How are you getting home, sunbaenim? Do you live nearby? I can walk with you if you’re comfortable with that, I don’t think it’s too safe to be out at this time.”

“Oh it’s no worries, I’ll be taking them home.”

“Ah Hanbinnie, meet my new dongsaeng” you’re not too sure when he got here or even why he’s here but Hanbin’s incredibly warm and his hands around your waist feel so nice. 

“This is my boyfriend.” You introduce him to the freshman. He dips his head in greeting as the other nearly tips over trying to bow. You make a concerned noise, making to catch the other but Hanbin firmly keeps you from moving, letting the freshman catch themselves instead.

“So nice to meet you, we’ll get going if that’s alright. It’s really not safe to be out this late, especially with someone you barely know.” You hardly register your boyfriend’s words but you’re not that drunk that you don’t know the smile he’s giving is about 95% fake and razor-sharp.

“Ah yes, get home safely, sunbaenim. I’ll find my way back so don’t worry.”

“Oh we won’t” You think you hear Hanbin say. Maybe. Could be your imagination. Because the next moment he’s nuzzling at your neck like a very spoiled cat, arms firmly holding you up as he guides you out of the bar and into the car.

“Nae sarang, you really need to take better care of yourself or I won’t want to let you out of my sight.” He says to you softly as he practically carries you into the passenger seat. It’s sweet, well the implication behind it is kinda creepy but you know he doesn’t mean it that way. (Does he?)

“You drove here?”

“Of course, I can’t let you go home all by yourself, can I?”

Like you said, there’s just a tiny screw loose in that head of his, considering the bar where you’re drinking is over an hour away from campus. You chalk it up to it being Hanbin. He can get a little paranoid on occasion. 

And sometimes, he goes a bit psycho. A little. Not a lot. Still, according to Gunwook, it’s terrifying. You really wouldn’t know but you’ve seen it.

You’ve come to wait for his dance club to finish when someone collides into you. It’s not too hard but it still knocks you off your feet and onto the ground with a thud.

“Yah, watch where you’re going, huh? I have a performance next week and I could have injured myself.”

It’s definitely one of the newer members because you don’t recognise them. Before you can say anything, Seo Won, one of the veterans, is already helping you up and asking if you’re okay. The one that knocked you over huffs and is about to say something else when Hanbin calls their name sharply.

Your boyfriend’s eyes narrow and maybe you’re a little lightheaded from the fall but also from the way his shirt clings to his body and his hair weighed down by sweat. It’s kinda hot but you’re not admitting that out loud. Not now, at least. He calls the other member’s name again and gestures him over.

He speaks too quietly for you to hear anything. All you know is that the other’s face pales drastically and he bows several times, walking over and apologising to you before practically hightailing out of the room.

Hanbin’s all over you in a matter of seconds, practically lifting you off the ground. It’s not good for your heart. Seo Won quickly backs off.

“My poor sarang, are you okay? Do you need anything? Ice? Are you bruised anywhere? Let me check.”

You don’t ever see the person who knocked you over again. Ever. You’d wonder about it but you’ve learned that it was better not to question sometimes. Especially when Hanbin insists on carrying you around for the rest of the day and practically waits on you hand and foot until the bruises fade. And it’s just a bruise. You do admit to him later that maybe you find it attractive when he’s a shade pissed and sweaty. Maybe you both get a little sweaty after that. And later, when you’re rightfully tired and sprawled out on top of him, you think about it.

Really, you wonder what goes through his mind sometimes.

[cut scene]

Hanbin smiles, all teeth and no sympathy. It’s like the serial killer before the murder.

“You speak to anyone like that ever again and I can do injuring for you, understood? No, don’t talk, just nod if you’ve managed to get it into that head of yours, hmm?”

A nod. Hanbin likes it when they’re like this. Quiet and white-faced and sweating nervously.

“Now go apologise to them. Sincerely. Like you mean it. And then, get lost. I don’t want to see your face for awhile, yes?”

Another nod. They take one step back and make to turn around.

“Oh wait.”

They freeze.

“Remember. Sincerely, okay? And don’t think I won’t know if it isn’t.”

A final nod.

“Very good. Now go.”

They go. Hanbin sighs. God, you’re going to drive him insane one day. (He already is)

[thepersonperson]

Ngl your post summarises so well why i love sukugo and why im so insane about them

Like of fucking course those two would work together when Sukuna deeply does not care about any social rules to ever exist. Of course they do when Gojo is confronted with someone gay for him and not hiding behind anything. This is not survivable and i love them and care them. I even had written in the notes for my fic about Gojo being the person who generally prefers to keep things as they are but i couldnt actually formulate why i think that. You are so smart your analysis is so wonderful

This is also why I like Sukugo a lot. It's not just that Sukuna matches Gojo's freak, he enables it. Encourages it even. Makes it worse. Sukuna's existence is a twisted opposition to Jujutsu Society. It's very hedonistic, sadistic, and selfish but by golly it is rebellion.

The flattery is also appreciated, but please understand that I am very stupid and am capable of making mistakes. Alternate perspectives like yours are just as valuable. Which is why I'm shoehorning your tags on this post into this ask. (They are great tags and everyone should see them. Also I don't know how to respond to them otherwise.)

#yeah youre right # sorry i got time to think about it #and im kind of writing gojo rhe same but a vit more influenced by sukuna lmao #tbh as the person coming from a post soviet country #i honestly cant like #fully agree with everything due to just #like i understand that what people want from socialism isnt what was in soviet union #but its still very much hard to accept that anyone could want what we went through lol #when i tell you that socialism actually pitted everyone against each other isnt not a joke #but i understand what you lead into and yeah yeah true

#tbf to gojo he really tried even if his method ultimately failed #like he had genuinely tried to do better for the kids that came after him despite the desperate lack of empathy of understanding of others #and himself #like i can appreciate the desperate desire to make change for the better

#and yeah geto was so horribly jealous its insane #of anything really #i also kinda really think geto has the mentality that after toji gojo is different? #that the boy he knew died and this is someone else #and what he does it ultimately for the boy he loved and for the boy who survived through changing #it also may be a bit of a fucked up coping mechanism how to deal with it all and differentiate what gojo was to him and is

#but yeah i was thinkinf about it and talking a lot #they were so badly exploited as children #we know its better with gojo than it was before #but then also if gojo takes on the hardest missions for the students that means he’s not present to teach its a fucked up circle #he doesnt understand enough to be a full leader to make a rebellion but he is trying god damn #but yeah the only way he could articulate what he’s actually feeling is through battle which is sad

#i take the way he stopped looking for exciting battles growing up is him growing up #like sending yuuta for cursed tools. he made his peace that he cant just chase men while he needs to take care of the kids #idk its all deeplt fucked up and im very sad for them

That's a fair criticism and even better commentary. I understand the aversion to some of the words I'm using to describe this. It's just that I don't know how else to effectively communicate what I think is the main issue. I do appreciate you're willing to hear me out on this though! (You're applying Umineko's "Without love, it cannot be seen." which makes me very happy.)

I'm US based which is a hypercapitalist hellscape, so when I talk about socialism it doesn't mean "do exactly what the Soviet Union did" (that would be very bad) but instead some of the ideas behind workers rights are good and desperately needed to curb stomp the type of labor exploitation they're experiencing. (Like unions for better pay, hours, and working conditions.)

Theory is useful because it give you the words to describe exactly what's wrong and the ideas that can guide you towards productive solutions. I can say Jujutsu Society is bad because of labor exploitation from the higher ups and therefore unions would help mitigate their power because I learned about those things.

Gojo and Geto don't have those words or background so they see part of the problem but have no name for it. And because they don't understand why it's happening, their solutions are surface-level treatments that don't address the real source of their suffering.

Toji was a symptom of the problem. Geto saw Toji as the entire problem so he thinks eradicating anything like Toji is the solution. Gojo saw Toji as a symptom and a potential solution to the real problem—Jujutsu Society. He recognized that Toji being strong is what helped him escape this problem so he laser focused on it. If he and his students are strong, they can change things. What things exactly? Gojo doesn't have the knowledge or time to dwell deeper on it. To him strength=revolution. He neglects the need for mutual aid, addressing overwork, and limiting child labor because the words and framework to deal with that are missing.

Gojo can't really do anything other than keep things the sameish because he doesn't know how the better world he's seeking works. (Similar to how you recognized this flaw of his, but couldn't put it into words since you didn't have them.) He both does things better for his students and screws them up in whole new different ways as a result of this. It's very tragic.

And everything wrong with Jujutsu Society is still just a microcosm of Japanese work culture that leads to this exploitation in the first place. Nanami is the only character that makes this connection and he has no idea what to do about it other than work where he feels less bad about it.

It's kind of like knowing a grease fire is dangerous but not knowing how to put it out.

>Gojo throws water on the grease fire trying to put it out and makes it worse before he starts suffocating it with his body instead of a blanket.

>Geto tries to eradicate grease from existence not knowing that other types of fire exist.

>Nanami realizes oxygen and fuel are the source of fires but he has none of the tools to put them out or prevent them.

>Sukuna understands that letting the fire burn everything to ash means there will never be fire again. ...While ignoring this also means there will be nothing left in the aftermath.

If any of these people were taught fire safety (labor theory), their methods of dealing with the fire (labor exploitation) and preventing it in the future would be so much better.

Japan has some of the lowest union memberships and the worst working conditions amongst rich countries. JJK has a lot to say on the topic so I'm being very annoying about it because I don't see others talking about it this way.

[sailor-aviator]

I’m so glad you’re calling this out! People don’t respect boundaries and were made to look like the villains.

Tbh, I deleted the post you’re talking about after some confusion. I don’t think I worded some of it correctly, so I’ll rewrite it here.

I love supporting my friends and their fics. I love chatting with the fellow content creators one on one about their fics. I love talking about new ideas about the fics they want to write. When I reblog a fic with something along the lines of “Ah!! I’m so excited you’ve finally posted this! I’ve been waiting!!” It’s not because they mentioned it once on their blog, it’s literally because I have been talking to them in private chats about the work.

When someone I don’t really talk to or have never had a conversation with apart from the occasional one sentence reblog or comment starts tagging me in things? That’s where I have an issue. My blog is not a bulletin board or ad space for people to put their fics on. I try to reblog fics that don’t have very many notes, I really do (I’ve also been going through a bit of a reader’s block lately). I remember what it was like first starting out on this site as a first time fic author and being so excited to get ten notes on my fic. Now I’m nearing a milestone! I did that by tagging my fics with the proper hashtags and interacting with people who chose to read them. I never in a million years thought so many of you would want to read my silly little stories.

So believe me when I say, I totally get feeling wanting more people to see your fics. I wish more people saw mine too, but I’m very grateful for the people who stumble upon them and take the time to read them.

I also think it’s very interesting that when authors and other content creators on here set boundaries, we get such immense flashback from readers. We’re people, y’all, and the fact that we have to keep reminding everyone about that fact is, quite frankly, worrisome. We are not machines. We do not do this for a living. I do this for fun, and when I get push back for trying to set a boundary, whatever that boundary may be, it makes this less fun.

Again, I can’t speak for the other writers on there (but believe me when I say several conversations have been had), but for me personally? It all goes back to the fact that content creators are being stripped of their humanity. I remember how fun and interactive fandom used to be before everything started being monetized. I used to get asks left and right without even having written fanfic! Fandom used to be a huge community filled with laughter and debates like “did these two characters bang?” “That character is asexual and here’s why” “I wrote a fic that I think you might like and here’s the link. No pressure to read it though!”, not “here’s another update. Here’s another update.” “You haven’t posted in a couple of days, when are we getting an update?” “Will you read this and reblog it?”

Idk, I had this conversation the other day, and maybe I just need to accept the fact that fandom as I knew it is dead and gone. In another life, I would have really loved giggling about fics and headcanons with you all.

Anyway, can we please stop making content creators out to be the villains when they ask to be treated like human beings and not soulless machines?

[brains4ne]

Closer i guess.

So as you guys have seen I’ve been on break for a few days only doing one tag game. I’ve decided before I start doing all of this literally i want you guys to try and understand why I’m doing this and why I want to get help

IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THIS THATS FINE.

My problems with attachment issues

so..as it says I want to come out and say I have attachment issues and I’ve never felt more lonely before in my life. It started in 2023 when I had this one best friend who I thought genuinely loved me when she didn’t she never did after November of 2022 I needed someone in my life and she was there and comforted me one day on 2023 she invited me to her group of friends and they all made fun of me they body shamed me, they told me I was a “fatass” or I was “ugly” they sent pictures of me to that group chat and took me down one by one. I didn’t stop being friends with her after that tho I thought she was just a nice person and her friends were ass holes but I was wrong I was a fool and completely let her disrespect me because I thought I deserved it. In June she blocked me and I felt a lot of emotions go by me, I was upset she did that without notice, I was happy i didn’t have to worry, and I was angry I missed the old her that genuinely cared and wanted me around I missed the 4 hours calls and hang outs but the most gut wrenching feeling I felt..was I wanted closer and I wanted to know why she did that what point was she trying to make, after that I felt like I had to find points to not like her but nothing worked I tried doing everything but nothing worked I hated myself for the longest time and I still do. Now for the longest time I’ve always felt this way somehow every person I’ve become best friends with left me.

Now to the point. I feel like I need a break because I had this one best friend who I’ve became clingy with they always made me laugh and feel loved but as of recently I haven’t talked to them in a while and they’ve been giving attention to there other friends and I’ve felt left out and I told them about this but I feel like they ignored me and didn’t listen which made me feel absolutely horrible it made me depressed and upset that’s also why I’ve made so many vent posts and took over my blog with them the reason why I did it 24/7 when someone went wrong was because I wanted someone to at least ask “are you okay?” I was so frustrated that people I knew were getting that. They had friends who checked up on them and they had someone asking that question that I wanted them to ask me so every time I felt irritated, upset, sad, angry, or uncomfortable I made a post and prayed that something or someone could take that pain away but at the end of the day I realize I had to do it myself.

but I’ve decided since I’ve been feeling this up till now it would be best for me to take a break from this app I’ve had sm shit happen on this app that I can’t get into rn but I wanted you all to know that I love you all and I’m trying to show it but idk how to atm.

I am sorry

, love lawrence

@shakespeareofficialaccount

@confusedhomicidalrage

[sukirichi]

holy shit long rant ahead

"Like-like you're looking for the man who courted you two years ago, the one you truly wanted to marry. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, because you're not going to find him. He never existed in the first place. Whatever it is you're looking for, you won't find it in me," *shit here we go again audio with head in my hands*

"Get out of your head. Just because I did all those things for you, doesn't mean they meant something. Are you forgetting I spent two years of my life trying to win you over, and I never once felt something for you other than tolerance?" When your face fell, triumph washed over his features. "That's right. You remember now, don't you? She's the one I want. Everything I do is for her. Don't forget your place."

Man idk how the princess heard this another time without breaking down in rage cause either this man is going down with me or nothing. Princess where is your self respect? PICK YOURSELF UPPPPPPP THIS MAN LEGIT RUNS ALL OVER YOU AND all we do is cry and yearn for more LIKE WE NEED TO BLOW IR*S AND HIM UP ATP BRING THE BIG GUNS OUT I NEED KUROO AND HIS ROOSTER LOOKING ASS TO POST THAT ARTICLE ASAP

“Your mother's sniffles was the last thing you heard before the sound of a fist connecting with skin resounded in the area. Pulling back, you gasped at what you saw.”

OH THE SATISFACTION I FELT HERE SWEET HEAVENS I wish someone recorded it and we could watch it all over again cause UM LESGO WWE 🗣️🤺 never have I ever loved a father this much cause he SLAYED LEFT NO CRUMBS AT ALLL #curedmyfatherissues

“Want me, you pleaded silently, at least want me. Just a little bit.” pookie 🤠😟😞 cmon we better than this

“Rintaro hadn't mean to. Sure, he was careless and never used protection, but he thought little of it. Iris® cycles were irregular and they never worried if she missed her period. She was always on the pill - all because of him, since Kiyoomi wouldn't have touched her anyway.”

he’s one sick bastard I hope he rots imagine cheating on your wife that you claim to love, doing it in your shared bed AND without protection like babe the article was so deserved by god

and the ending sentence,,,,,just made me so sick because as much as I hate rin and ir*s, I think I hate the queen and the king more because the issues started with them. with the king being an absolute whore and having kids with random ass women LIKE WHERE IS THE VASECTOMY GET HIS TUBES TIED and the queen being a bitch to rin his whole life just to find out my man got issues for nothing??? not defending him at all but to find out that all he knew as his “home” and family (even tho they sucked) were all never really his,,, I can see his heart breaking with the image he had of his family in his mind in the form of drawings made by his inner child, torn in half,,,,,,,oh I am about to be SICK

(and once he finally found his real home aka princess, bro fumbled it up BADDDD like if I was him I would beg for forgiveness + repent + burn the castle with the queen in it <33 (not the princes, tobio pookie you are coming home with me)

bro’s mental health must be in a delicate state, I hate him but I am also worried for him 🥲

- Freud anon is in shambles btw

THE HERE WE GO AGAIN AUDIO AAHJKA SO TRUE he just keeps on going back and forth like decide already!! 😭 do you want us or not!!

the self respect is… there, just buried under very deep layers of still hoping for something good. but also like we can’t really blame dtd!yn for acting this way because rintaro was FINALLY changing and being the husband we wanted him to be! the whole romantic dinner setup, working on the beach house together, and not once even mentioning iris????!!? BRO WAS DEDICATED. but then yeah he really just had to ruin it all again UGH. “all we do is cry and yearn for more.” actually real.

the daddy issues tag im crying 😭 sending all my love and hugs to you anon. BUT YES omg I loveeee our dad so much in DTD because he really said fuck around and find out! dude literally did not care that he was punching a royal because his daughter was more important than their titles! our parents in dtd are soo parents goals I love them <3

nauh bcos rintaro is careless and CRAZYYY. not only did they do it in OUR bed but he did it raw like! I would’ve thrown up ngl. AGHJSKA the vasectomy LMFAO. unfortunately it’s his duty to have many children and he fulfilled that part VERY well, just yknow… they really should’ve specified to him that he had to have kids with his wife and not other women. but yes I agree! all the problems really started because the king and queen hated each other (or more like, the queen hated him for how he treated her, and the king just didn’t care about her at all. he just knew she’d be a good queen and he needed someone smart and capable in leading the country so he can slack off. terrible, terrible man.) YES OMGGG THE DRAWINGS STOPPP I GET SO SAD EVERYTIME I THINK OF RINTARO’S LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM HIM AND ALL HIS ISSUES, EVERYTHING THAT HE FUCKED UP, HAD BEEN FOR NOTHING! and now he’s fumbling so bad too like bro is losing everything that should’ve never been his in the first place ugh.

YES! we protect and love tobio in this house!! and I agree </3 rintaro is going through a lot and it honestly goes two ways – it’s either he does worse things to cope, or he completely shuts down and forgets everything that happened. I’m not sure which one I prefer…

[dcjokerhs]

8 shows to get to know you

i was tagged by @arrysa-clair so... thank u huney /p ^w^

Katekyo Hitman Reborn: 🎵HELLO MY LUVELY HELLO MY HUNEY, HELLO MY RAGTIME GALLLL!!🎵 This wasn't the first fandom I wrote fanfic for, but I just,,,, YES!! 100%!! YES!! Because this shounen I Binged because of 1 CardFight! Vanguard/KHR crossover and THEN I WAS INVESTED, and now I am The Biggest Simp... It was also the fandom where I had to admit that I'm a filthy filthy multishipper so... OOPS, GUESS I CAN NEVER UNDO THAT!!!

Bagpuss: 🎵Bagpuss, oh Bagpuss, soggy-old-cat puss, wake up and see this thing that I bring, wake up, be bright! Be golden and light! Bagpuss, oh hear what I sing.🎵 THIS SHOW!!! THIS SHOW IS MY LOVE, MY BLOOD, AND NOW ONE OF THE LEAST-KNOWN SHOWS, EVEN THOUGH IT'S BLIMMIN GREAT (apart from one episode that suddenly comes to mind because HHHH IT WAS MADE IN THE SIXTIES AND THE OBJECT WAS A PAIR OF BOWING MEN) But think, like, Toys coming to life to check out this neat little thing their owner's brought, using songs, stories and poems to tell what the thing *really* is, working together to fix or clean the object, then moving it into the window "So anyone who had lost [the object] Would see it, and know it was found" AND THAT ENTIRE SHOW!! I LIVE FOR!!! If I need to sew, or if I'm sick, or even if I just don't want to watch much and snk into a pile of plushies, I can pop this show on, and listen to a soggy old pink and white cat, a raggedy old bookend, a toad with a banjo, a music box of mice and a well-loved doll explain why a small cushion is really the seat of the boney king of nowhere's throne. I Am Soft.

Thunderbirds/Thunderbirds Are Go: THIS SHOW, THIS SHOW I WROTE FANFICTION FOR BEFORE I EVEN KNEW WHAT FANFIC WAS!! I still even have the cute li'l notebook it was written in, now sans cover, IT IS UPSTAIRS IN A BOX AND I WAS SO YOUNG my handwriting was a full 2cm/0.8inch TALL, SO EACH PAGE WAS BASICALLY 5-7 LINES OF WIGGLY TEXT, because of course the paper doesn't have lines, and MY WRITING WAS SO CUTE AND SIMPLISTIC I WANT TO SQUEEZE YOUNGER-ME'S CHEEKS!! And then younger me made it have a crossover with Lazytown, because I was a sucker... AND NOW WE HAVE T.B.A.G, AND CHCGHCG I WAS ECSTATIC, my dad and brother less so, BUT I LOVE IT, and now I am back on my thunderbirds bs. /lol

Tantei Gakuen Q/Detective Class Q: I adore both the anime and the live action for this one. They may have slightly different stories, but they're still both quite powerful, and very fun, but also able to talk about some topics in ways that make me tilt my head a little, like the idea of an area cut off from the outside world, finding peace within the smaller things, or, from the live action, how far one person can go in search of freedom, and how that can then be framed by others during the uncovery of that story. Also! The cases!!! They can seem so complex, yet, then the answer will turn out so simple, and I absolutely adore that! ^w^

Gravity Falls: IDK what it is, but the idea of some kids just having fun, finding something, then having fun solving the issue, or going hrough an experience, and then supporting each other on the other side, getting the support of their chaotic family.... HHHHHHHH /pos. I am Very Soft. Also, fxghxfcghcfgh, Bill and Dipper's Entire Dynamic brings me life. Jesu Maria.... AND THEN I REMEMBER THEY'RE 12!! THEY CAN'T EVEN OWN A BANK ACCOUNT YET, SOMEONE GET THESE KIDS THERAPY OH MY GOODNESS!! bUT!!! SOOS!! YEEEEEE!! idk ok NEXT ONE!

School Babysitters: I may not be able to handle children irl, but the stories between the kids, the way the students handle caring for the kids, THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE CENTRAL DUO!!! HAS MADE ME CRY!! SO MANY TIMES!!! ARARARARARARARARA!!! I LOVE THEM!!! HHHHH!!

SCOOBY DOO! WHERE ARE YOU?/SCOOBY DOO, MYSTERY INCORPERATED!: My first crush was Daphne. I didn't realise it was a crush, I was just like "yeah, the others are pretty cool... But Daphneee..." And Nowadays I go "oh dearheart, Oh Sweetie" BECAUSE, HAHA, SHE IS STILL A FICTIONAL CRUSH, THIS WOMAN IS A COMPETENT QUEEN, tho some shows they make her a little mean, AND THAT'S WHY SB:WAY AND SB:MI ARE MY FAVOURITES, because Daphne is Adorable-- OMG I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE baby version of scoobydoo, oh my goodness that was adorable, though THE FACT THEY DECIDED THAT THE YOUNG VERSIONS WERE JUST WHO THE CHARACTERS ARE FROM BIRTH WHEN CGJHCHJCGJCGHJ YOU CAN'T TELL ME VELMA WASN'T THE CHEEKIEST BABY! YUHUXFH\OEW7SZDUFIYFWZPS9OUFZHRXDC8ZOSEYRHFNRICKUJFZBXED!!!!!

And last, but ne'er least: CUTE HIGH EARTH DEFENSE CLUB LOVE/BINAN KOUKOU CHIKYUU BOUEI-BU LOVE! That Show!!!!! THIS SHOW!!!! AAAA!!! Think, like, Genderbent Magigirl anime, but, again, Genderbent, and it's so cute, and funny, and yet it SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW, DESPITE BEING THE LIGHTEST THING SINCE FREE!, I AM a total mess mum plz come and pick me up i will cry from CUTENESS ISTG!!!

Gods, picking out stuff was so hard, but so fun, because I had to say "No" to Dream SMP, I had to turn down shows like the Katrielle Layton Anme because I ONLY GOT TO WATCH THAT ONCE, AND I AM SO SALTY 'CAUSE THAT WAS SO CUTE!! But then, hhhhh!!! /vpos /lovinglyfrustrated. Other shows skipped are Ouran High School Host Club, Free!, How to Keep a Mummy, Merlin, Dr Who, M.I.High, Good Omens (Good God do I love Good Omens), Love Stage!! aaand Marginal Prince.

Anyway!! Tagging!! I have no clue!! UUUUUUUUUHHHHH

@captaindragonsgold @snailraffle @slytherinroyaltyblogs @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @silverdrip

^w^ Have Fun! ^w^

[jemgirl86]

I'm not surprised by the drop, I'm mostly surprised it made the list because, among other things, people don't reblog, they don't interact. You can post a meta about the ship and you'll get 8 likes on a good day. Also, controversial opinion, it wasn't fun going into the tag for awhile, like it seemed you were shamed for shipping it. There were sideways comments even among Sambucky shippers. There was also a blogger who was bullied and called fake black for shipping Sambucky more than Sarahbucky

Hey, anon. I’m probably about to be more long winded than I should, as usual lol.

So, okay, I expected the drop too, but not like this. A good chunk of people who were around last year or even earlier this year were Stuckies who showed up due to TFATWS because they were just happy that Bucky was in the vicinity of a man again. They didn’t care about Sam, and they barely cared about Bucky, and I didn’t expect them to stick around too long once it became clear to them that people were going to pushback against their nonsense.

There’s a lot of folks though who I think just flat out stopped interacting. For example, I personally think a lot of people are still reading and enjoying fic and headcanons, but like you said, they aren’t reblogging or liking, and they certainly aren’t leaving kudos on ao3 and that’s the part that is kinda shocking to me.

When I first started being active in this fandom, the more established people here were so friendly to me. When I posted a snippet of my first SamBucky fic, people with big followings were so receptive to it and reblogged it and said such nice things, and that was months before the show aired. Idk… I guess what I’m trying to say is, I expected the fandom to go back to the size and engagement that it had before the show, I expected it to drop off in that way, but I didn’t expect things to be the way they are now with little to no interaction on posts and fics, here and on ao3.

You’re right: the tag wasn’t fun for a while. I mentioned on another post, that at one point last year I deactivated my blog because I was tired of the fandom racism and needed a break. I came back about a month later, used the same name, and followed the accounts I knew I could trust under my new blog. I also remember the SamBucky vs SarahBucky issues, and as someone who’s written fics for both ships, I didn’t get it, but I can see why it would have turned people off. Sidenote: someone accused me of antiBlackness the other day because I don’t ship Namor and Shuri, so, I get that people can be idiots.

I’m really rambling now, but I’ll say that my personal theory is that some people left because of racism, and some people left because they were really stuckies the whole time, and some folks left over other fandom drama, BUT MOST people who don’t interact anymore don’t because they don’t understand the give and take of fandom AND they, I don’t know how to exactly say it, but they don’t know how to fandom period. If Anthony and Seb aren’t on a press tour or if Sam & Bucky aren’t on a screen in front of them, it’s like they can’t still like them. It’s weird.

They’re my ship and I’m a stick beside ‘em though, lol. Catch me at the theatre with the other 3 SamBuckies like @glittercake said lmaooo

[fluideli123]

Ah! Anything is fine? But if you need a specific thing ummmm Donnie and Mikey and their stories??! The gang finding out about gender and systems? Idk :3

Oooooo!! Okay, I can do this without spoiling too much, I believe!!

1) So, I've got most of their main plots and ideas for Donnie and Mikey's stories in my series written down! Donnie, not so much since I'm not sure what a major issue for him will be since, throughout each story in the series, everyone overcomes a challenge, though it's not as intense or as grand as the centric brother. And through Leo's, Raph's, and Mikey's stories, Donnie has some of his issues addressed, and I'm struggling to pinpoint a big one that would still be prominent throughout them all.

But for Mikey, I have most of the overarching plot ideas done! While Leo's story is about Queerness and Raph's will be about being a System, Mikey's will be about Disabilities! As you probably know from reading or the tags on my fic, I write the boys with many different kinds of disabilities. Splinter was really good about supporting his son's needs when they were younger, and they were aware of each other's needs since forever, it seems. But when a new disability enters their lives, it causes problems, especially for the youngest.

I won't say what it is for surprise reasons (though you can probably pick up what it could be throughout both Leo and Raph's fics since I foreshadow it), but I think about it a lot.

The idea that the youngest bro of the family goes through a major change, and having that change reflect his issues about being babied? It just consumes my thoughts often, all the fucking time, actually. Because Raph couldn't even allow Mikey to go to an auction house alone in Hot Soup: The Game, how will he react to his baby brother of the family acquiring a new disability? How about Donnie and Leo? They've never babied him before the same way Raph does in the show, but is there a point where they might? Do they have internalized ableism? Something from the past? Something from Leo and Raph's fics that might change this? Is it another reason altogether?

It's just a fun thought to entertain!

2) I plan on diving more in-depth about the fam and them finding out about the Shard System in Raph's fic and Queerness in Leo's fic, but I'd like to talk about April for this!

April met them when the Shard System was something no one knew about, but it was still very apparent when you spoke with Raph or someone who was fronting pretending to be Raph. She was there with the rest of the brothers learning about Raphael's experiences, the amnesia, and learning to get used to the idea that someone they knew had more than one person in them.

She was really ecstatic about it when Splinter figured out a name for it, along with Donnie. Though, they were excited for different reasons.

April, being the weirdo magnet she is, was happy because it was like when she first met the turtles for the very first time: It's strange, kind of scary, definitely not something she sees all the time, and she wants nothing more than to get to know about it more. Plus, it was still her friend, and she wanted nothing more than to help him and his head buddies out if anyone were to pull something sneaky about it.

Especially since Donnie was excited to pull out experiment after experiment to see what he could learn, which was put to a stop since it made Raph feel less like a being and more like an object. Donnie did this a few times when they were younger, accident or not, and he still struggles with it. But it's one of those things no one can pull in their family without April bursting out of nowhere brandishing her bat. Even if it's Donnie, maybe even especially if it was Donnie, LMAO.

As for Queerness, April knew she was attracted to girls since she was in Elementry School, if not before then, so she was their first open and honest introduction to queerness in their younger years before the present time where SAA is set in.

They used to ask her many questions, and she always enjoyed answering them! Especially since they seemed to be the only ones interested in it since everyone in her family other than her parents weren't. April even went through a phase of researching and reading books about queerness with Mikey since he was always a History Nerd(TM).

April used to go to public libraries and check out books for them to go through together after school or at sleepovers they'd have. And she used to talk about all the problems of being an out lesbian kid, something Mind themself usually got forced to the front to deal with when it distressed April to a point that Raph couldn't deal with. It was also something the boys made sure to never add onto and always made sure they could let April be as queer as she wanted. Queer safe space was definitely the turtle household, especially with Splinter's help.

[ravenousnightwind]

A physical disability isn't like having arthritis or depression or even adhd. Those things might affect the way you can move about but, it's not a physical disability. The fact I have to say this just..is really baffling.

A physical disability is when you have trouble seeing, hearing, walking, etc. The last one, especially, I feel like people are really confused about. It means that you absolutely need a wheelchair or an aid of some kind. Maybe you need a walking aid like crutches of some kind, or maybe you need some other form of one because you can't see that well. It's where the primary reason you're disabled is because you are incapable in some way, of all the things I mentioned. It's classified as physically disabled because it isn't mentally disabled. Mentally disabled is the primary reason, but it doesn't mean you are indeed physically disabled as well.

Like yeah, I'm mentally disabled okay? I have issues walking because i have a lot of brain fog. I do have spinal issues and arthritis, but that doesn't mean I'm physically disabled. I don't need an aid to walk, it just takes me a bit sometimes depending on how I feel. Like, I need zero physical aids to get up and down unless I'm laying down sick as fuck.

Just because I have those issues, that doesn't mean it's classified as physical, and that doesn't mean I have a right to anything. Like even if it were more severe I wouldn't even consider a professional telling me that I'm physically disabled to be a right to enter a community space.

At this point I'm diving into a whole other issue. We, being you, and every single other person out there who's telling you to fuck off, probably knows it's not just because you were told to get out. It's probably not just because you're offended you're being shunned. It's probably because you said some shit and now you're mad that the community doesn't want to deal with your nonsense.

I mean maybe it is just using the tag, I don't know, it's not my business, but I will say this. A lot of people are assholes, even us disabled people can be assholes. It's likely that you revealed something and they were like but thays not physically disabled. And you were like YES IT IS IM DISABLED!!! Okay but, that doesn't mean you have a right to use a tag okay? If someone told me that, and I fucking knew my situation, then yeah, I'd just fuck off, apologize and never enter that community again unless something happened where I had a physical disability.

Just like how I never entered the autistic or adhd communities until I got an official diagnosis. Sure, I knew I was quirky or strange, but I never entered into a community I wasn't sure I belonged in. Why would anyone do that? It's disrespectful

Like okay, I know by writing and even saying this shit, maybe I'm stepping over some invisible lines I can't see, so maybe excuse me? I'm just really pissed off about this, I'm really pissed that people have this kind of audacity to just act like they have a right. No you don't, nobody does. And yeah it sucks when you're shunned, but there's no reason to hang around in a place where no one wants you. You want it why? Because you have these problems? So what, use something else. Express it differently. Really think. Go back and look at the shit you said. When people attack me that's what I do. Where did i fuck up? Did i fuck up or was there a misunderstanding? Ya know what, maybe I got yelled at because I just didn't think about what I was saying very clearly? It happens.

Idk I just can't understand these types of people who wanna push and push and cause problems in a place where we're expressing.

On the other hand though, nobody knows anyone's business, and idk that's kinda the thing. People take things so personally online because you can't tell the tone of what someone is saying on both sides and then before you know it there's some bullshit.

Anyway, my point is just that I'm pissed. I'm pissed for the people it harms. Anything like that always pisses me off, but especially for my friends. Even if I didn't have physically disabled friends, I'd still be considerate about how other people feel. But not gonna lie, sometimes there really are just ass people out there (not people who like asses) who just wanna gatekeep, but if a whole community is like shouting about it? Uh..pretty sure it's not just an ass but like an actual problem?

Idk, maybe I'm just talking out my ass without really knowing anything? And if I was told to fuck off I'd just be like alright I will. I'm not gonna argue about it. It's stupid to argue about it. I understand the frustration. Fuck

[loveleftbehind]

Father

Ennie lays on the floor, arms wrapped around the large body of Bagel and burying his face in their fur.

He could joke about the holiday all he wanted, but that box sitting not too far from him would always be stuck in his mind. What was usually closed and pushed to the back of his closet was opened, some of the contents littered around it.

He knew it was a bad idea to go looking in there again, promising himself every year that he would stop, but every time father day reared its ugly head, he couldn’t help himself. Carefully picking through the box. Looking over that picture. That smaller box he was going to give as a gift.

The janitor sniffed, puffy red eyes looking at that special shoebox once he lifted his head. He knew he’d have to face it again to put it all away, but part of him didn’t want to. Part of him wanted to hold the box tight and wail over what could have been.

He rubbed his eyes, going to scoop up that familiar black and white picture, despite how much he hated the name in the corner, he couldn’t deny that i was once him.. And the picture contained what was once his. So small. ‘Potato looking’ he’d said at the time, laughing and giddy with joy and nerves.

“....”

Ennie swallowed, placing it back inside its special box, sitting snuggly next to that white little test, still displaying a plus sign even after all this time. 

The time had come for him to put those memories away, rubbing his eyes once again as he scooped up the box, securing the lid and taking it back to its home in the back of his closet.

In silence, he pressed his lips to the top of the lid, before sliding it back into the dark. Where he could pretend it didn’t exist, and where he didn’t have to read the name scrawled so messily on the side.

‘Gumbo’

[jennagrinsoverml]

hello, idk if you've done this yet, but do u know any good post reveal pre relationship fic recs? sorry if this request is kinda vague lol

General requests are easier than super specific ones lol so you don’t need to apologize for that! I have been meaning to do a PRPR rec list for a while now (and, not directed at you, anon, but yes, PRPR stands exclusively for post-reveal pre-relationship) so thanks for giving me the push to finally do it! (Sorry, I may have gotten a little carried away with this one, but it’s truly one of my favourite things to read.)

The Official Summer Buster Kiss List by @peachcitt

“You’d really be alright with kissing me?” he asked, and Marinette popped the cap of her dry-erase marker on and off.

“I mean, yeah,” she said, and they stared at each other for a moment. “Of course,” she hurried on, “you’d have to be alright with being my candidate. Teacher. Guide. Whatever.” She made a few empty gestures with the marker, and the loose cap flew off the end, bouncing off the wall and rolling off her desk.

Adrien caught it before it could fall to the floor, handing it back to her. “I am,” he said, looking her in the eye. “I’ll do it.”

or

a very simple four-point plan to tackle the issue of marinette's abysmal kissing life that turns into a six-point plan and also results in an outcome that literally no one could have predicted (sarcasm)

One-shot. They’re just so incredibly stupid (affectionate). The writing is gorgeous, the humour is spot on, and I loved all the little details of their lives with the passage of time. It’s so clear that they love each other, but as always, it takes them way too long to admit it haha.

Emergency Contact by @coffeebanana

When Marinette invites Adrien to live with her temporarily while she recovers from an injury, she thinks the hardest part is going to be hiding her feelings from him. But Adrien's idea of being helpful might go...a little overboard.

Post Shadow Moth defeat, Aged Up Characters, Read the Tags

Multi-chapter. This fic is just so real and messy and beautiful. The mutual pining is absolutely perfect! The backstory and how that impacts their current dynamic is so well woven through and adds another layer to their relationship. But also, I love the lack of perfection, that these are real people with real flaws and the way that all plays out. I absolutely love this fic!

rainwater and brown sugar by @aerequets

He knew they shouldn't do anything (whatever that 'anything' was). They couldn't. Not until they defeated Hawkmoth. Not until their relationship wouldn't get in the way of their work (or whatever other excuse they'd come up with over the course of three months). He knew all this. He knew.

But it was the raindrop that did it for him.

One-shot. It’s seriously unfair that someone who draws so beautifully should be able to write equally so. And yet. This is just so beautiful and SOFT and lovely. And then THAT KISS!!!!!

An Open Secret by @kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Multi-chapter. I absolutely love the early reveal in this fic. I’ve read a lot of reveals, but this one is really fun and original! And then the premise of the fic itself isn’t one I’ve seen anywhere else, which makes it very different from the usual PRPR fare. Because even though they both know...they can’t actually talk about it. And it’s so interesting and different and sweet?

A little push by @emsylcatac

Alya asks Chat Noir to record a video of himself encouraging Marinette to confess...to Adrien.

Of course his mouth speaks on its own. Of course he says yes.

Of course his Lady is most likely sure to kill him.

...And of course Marinette feels like she's the one who's about to die.

One-shot. @emsylcatac‘s fics never go the way that I expect them to, and I really love that about her writing. Although this starts off really silly, the way Adrien expresses himself at the end wasn’t something I saw coming at all, even though it’s SO TRUE to his character. The pining and miscommunication is wonderful, but it’s the ending that really sells me on this one.

17 days, 2 hours and some odd minutes by @miabrown007

It has been 17 days, 2 hours and 14 minutes since Chat Noir flirted with Ladybug for the last time.

It has been exactly 17 days, 2 hours and 13 minutes since Adrien realized his very good friend and his best friend were, in fact, one and the same.

Consecutively, it has been exactly 17 days, 2 hours and 12 minutes since he constantly fought the insurmountable desire to kiss the said friend.

One-shot. The yearning in this fic is absolutely e x q u i s i t e . I love it when Adrien stops flirting post-reveal and Marinette takes it the wrong way. And they’re just SO STUPID here, and then they get to be adorable in love dorks.

the wonderful part of the mess that we made by heresie_irisee

They knew.

They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her.

One-shot but a lengthy one-shot. How about some post-Oblivio fic that has the magical ladybugs NOT erase their memories of the fight (because lbr that made no sense anyway)? Oblivio is probably my favourite episode and this is such a great fic. The mutual pining is so, so, so good! Especially love Marinette struggling to assimilate Adrien’s identities and Adrien’s obliviousness.

The Boy She Loves by @goth-bias

Adrien just wants to know who Marinette has been in love with this entire time, but she refuses to budge. Accidentally reading a part of her diary, however, gives Adrien the answers he has been looking for.

One-shot. So you may not know this about me, but I’m absolute sucker for the trope of Adrien fixating on the boy Marinette loves post-reveal. (And tbf for him fixating on the boy Ladybug loves pre-reveal.) I love how well done the miscommunication is here, where their failure to confess makes sense and all of the tension naturally follows.

Make it clear by @amiraculousplatypus​

After years, the masks have fallen. Marinette and Adrien figure out what has changed. And what hasn't.

One-shot. This one is all about the yearning. And then Adrien’s beautiful honesty that pushes Marinette to finally do something. They’re both so in character and I love them so much!

White Lies Over White Nights by meirencollector

“Tell me, Marinette. The other boy, is it me?"

There’s something about the way he says it. The way his lips move. The way his eyes glaze at her. The way he looks at her as if she hung the moon and stars. The way there’s a warm glow when he's drawing close to touch. Even in this snowstorm, he was a ray of sunshine, and she was a sunburn.

One-shot. This one is really interesting because of both its device--a game of Truth or Drink--and its use of non-linear storytelling. Even though the fic is set post-reveal, we get all kinds of flashbacks to memories of their pre-reveal interactions that really illuminate the present and are extremely well woven into the narrative. I also really appreciated how honest Adrien was about his feelings, even with their relationship being so ambiguous.

The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.

your lips are meant to be kissed by @zimtlein

During a tipsy evening, Adrien kisses Marinette’s forehead.

Understandably enough, Marinette has a complete meltdown.

One-shot. Rated E for sexual content. This is one of my favourite fics and I’ve read it a good half a dozen times at least. The pining is absolutely phenomenal and Adrien is so, so oblivious. And the tension between them just builds and builds and builds until I thought I was going to die! But instead it all leads to a phenomenal resolution.

[tanoraqui]

responding to @shrikeseams’s tags on this post separately bc it was getting long...

#tbf i think fandom puts too much weight on Turgon being the Staid One #since most of his cautious behavior is... after his wife died. and while he's trying to keep at least his daughter from Death By Doom #he was down to cross the ice in the first place! it's not like he turned back with finarfin! #IDK what KIND of hellion he was at tirion formal events. but HE WAS A HELLION LIKE ANY FINWION COUSIN. #I just haven't pinned down his specific brand of bastardy yet 

...because they are good and right and I DON’T want to fall into that Turgon characterization trap. Looking back at the text, Turgon first stood with Fingolfin to tell Fëanor he was a fucking idiot for swearing that Oath he just swore and like hell were they going anywhere with him, but after Alqualondë and the issueing of the Doom he was with Fingon in being, “bold and fiery of heart, and loath to abandon any task to which they had put their hands until the bitter end, if bitter it must be.” He was, if not eager for rebellion, certainly #inittowinit once they’d started.

I think that very “this is still a terrible idea but now that we’ve started, I’ll see it fucking accomplished” is what cuts deepest later, after Elenwë’s death. The end is too bitter already; he doesn’t want to be here and he doesn’t want their daughter to be here. Ulmo warns that a time will come when hidden refuges are their only hope and it rings true in his heart. And he finds some pride and joy again in the city he builds, in its long peaceful rule and (for a while) its continued safety even after the peace is shattered and burned elsewhere. Even as he felt Doom closing in on them, and he sent seven different crews to try to reach Valinor and plead for aid before all fell...

That said, I still think young Turgon prided himself on being more sensible than his older brother (and certainly more sensible than his younger siblings - a category which, again also includes Finrod’s younger siblings). Someone in this family has to be responsible, and it’s clearly not Fingon, and it’s rarely Finrod! The heavy, heady duty Must fall to him, Turukáno, or all will be lo-

oh, well, if the food fight is already started, then he’s going to throw a bowl of mashed potatoes are Carnistir’s head. For what he said about Irissë earlier (which Turukáno nearly punched him for at the time, too, and was only stopped by Findarato grabbing his arm and Tyelkormo elbowing his own brother sharply in the ribs.)

(Side note: my real hobby is referring to Noldor by their Quenya names when talking about them as children who had no idea how bad fighting could get.)

Tldr: I think Turgon’s brand of childhood bastardry is that he rarely initiates the hellion-doings, but he WILL escalate them, and afterwards might accept responsibility but might also loudly protest to his parents that it wasn’t his fault.

Relatedly, I think Finrod always had very good instincts for when it was important to be responsible, eg, when the world is dark, your grandfather is dead, and your uncles are on the verge of civil war; or when you meet a new species and need to negotiate your extended relatives into giving them land; or when an old friend’s grandson comes to you with a request for aid...or, once upon a time, when doing something would genuinely upset someone, whether they be one of his siblings or the artist whose ice sculpture looked really enticingly climbable, or genuinely upset the increasingly delicate balance of power in Tirion...

Conversely, however, that instinct for when responsibility is important means he always knew in his heart that almost all state dinners are 100% fair game for tomfoolery, hellionship, bastardry, and, dare I saw, shenanigans. And Finrod and Turgon were - you know JD and Turk from Scrubs, the “We’re not married.” “Dude, we’re a little married.” “I know. I love it”? That. So...

Edit: “will not start the fight but WILL escalate it, especially in personal retaliation” does still make Mandos the Turgon of the Valarin family

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[gunkreads]

HASH TAG LONG POST, KIDS. PRESS J

Ok more musing on decisions, or lack thereof, Jordan made:

I made a post a while ago about how interesting it is that Jordan ended the series with the Seanchan right at the crux of a massive societal revelation: the sul’dam issue. A load-bearing pillar, as I called it, of their civilization has just had a sledgehammer taken to it. The option to not be a shit person has just been proffered to every single Seanchan; the way they see the world and the Power has been completely changed. If, of course, Tuon exercises that tiny spark of morality inside her cold, empty chest cavity and publicizes this information (or at least refrains from suppressing it).

But with the specific example of the sul’dam and damane aside, there are SO MANY mysteries in Wheel of Time that are just never given a clear, explicit, in-text answer. Sure, stuff like “what the hell is up with the Finn” and “who’s the mystery desert lady (can’t remember her name)” can be explained, tentatively, with a long charlie-day web of photos and yarn and thumbtacks, but the bottom line is that we never got an answer. And, for the purposes of the story written by Robert Jordan, we never fuckin will. Sure, Harriet McDougal or Sanderson or Judkins or someone else entrusted with the world can come along and say “oh, well, here’s the answer I can give you based on everything I know about what Jordan wanted” but we’ll never get a pure answer straight from the horse’s mouth.

And personally, I think this is good. Before I explain straight up, an anecdote:

In the D&D campaign I’m in, DM’d by my best friend, we recently had about one and a half “down sessions” where we were completely adrift between plot points. We had escaped through the screaming portal, we had stolen a cart and disguised ourselves as guards, and we’d made it out of the city. We were on the road in the middle of the desert, headed down a major thoroughfare between this oasis resort city and the nearest actual civilization. Our DM had like a dozen possible encounters planned out, so we rolled for them at random, and we rolled a 20, running into a magical merchant on the side of the road. We bought stuff, talked, and left; we came across a group of cultists dragging a cart barefoot across the desert because their god liked righteous suffering. We camped out next to a traveling party, finding out the next morning that they’d all disappeared and the inside of one of their carts was absolutely caked in blood. We never found out what The Fuck Was Up with any of these things.

And you know what? It was the most fun I’ve had in that campaign so far. So many stories are all meat and bone, all an interconnected web of plots and foreshadowing and characters, where every single little thing will tie in to the main plot and the end of the world. I love those stories, don’t get me wrong, but they just don’t make sense for fourteen fucking books! There’s too much shit in the world for everything to matter; for everyone to matter. Genuinely, over a long enough period of time, a story with no loose ends starts to feel dead, or at least overly fatalistic. Really? Everybody comes across the main characters? Every place they visit is a MacGuffin vault? Admittedly, a good author can maintain this “no-loose-ends” style for a LONG fuckin time, but the length of Wheel of Time is kind of prohibitive in that regard.

Thesis: Wheel of Time needs unsolved mysteries, unexplored lands, and unexplained phenomena to seem alive. Logical-leap restrictions aside, tying everything up in a neat bow at the end would make the world feel less lived-in. If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Dragon’s Peace would last forever, that the Aiel would find their place in the world, that the Seanchan would cease slavery, that the Sharans would... idk, do whatever Sharans do, then the ending would’ve left me absolutely dead inside. Not only would it directly contradict the ol’ whumptacular Veins of Gold soliloquy--precluding the need for a second chance--it would tell me that the Pattern ends here. What more’s to be woven, now that we’ve solved every problem and met every person and trod every millimeter of land? This ain’t the Travels of Jain Farstrider!

No, Jordan isn’t so dumb in his outline, nor is Sanderson so egotistical in his writing. Unless the world ends at the end of your story, life goes on. The job of an author of hundreds of characters, at the end of the story they’re actually writing, is to write the prologue for the rest of those characters’ lives.

And Jordan, the bastard, did The Pipe Thing, the final cherry on top, the final chorus, the coup de grace. The Pipe Thing is, no joke, my absolute favorite aspect of the entire series. Nothing compares to The Pipe Thing. Zero explanation. Dozens of logical explanations, none quite flawless. I have never, in my goddamn entire ass life, had to reread the final two pages of a book that many fucking times. Admittedly it was four in the morning, but still.

[eunoiaflow3r]

hard 2 face reality // spencer reid x fem!reader

spencer reid x reader

aaron hotchner x reader

part one - part three

a/n: a lot of people asked for part 2 to “not ur friend.” omg i didn’t expect it to blow up like it did. sorry this isnt the fluff conclusion you guys wanted...but i’m willing to make this a series maybe? idk it’s up to you guys. thank you for your feedback and support. (see notes at end)

also i tagged all the people who commented on part one.

warning(s): language. angst. not proofread. will be mistakes.

word count: 2.9k wow.

request(ed): yes. very requested. thank you @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks for this idea.

summary: after hearing something she shouldn’t have, she has to deal with explanations and tough decisions.

hard 2 face reality by poo bear ft. justin beiber and jay electronics.

—————————————&————————————

sometimes it’s hard to face reality...even though you might get mad at me.

It’s ironic sometimes.

The twists and turns of life and the paths it puts you down. Sometimes you believed in fate but right now it only felt like a pain in the ass. Whoever was controlling your strings you hoped they would just give you a break, but no. There was always something more.

Last night, you had a dream. There was a memory within the dream. You and Spencer were cuddling on the couch watching a movie and his fingers were combing through your hair. From where you were, it was more like you were witnessing it instead of actually living it. You were just watching yourself fall harder for the man behind you. You were content. Happy even. You forgot all about your issues and problems and conflicts. You forgot about what Spencer said and the things he had done. You just forgot.

You watched as he took his fingers out of your hair and pushed you away. The you that you were watching was confused and so were you. Why would he do that? What was wrong with him? This wasn’t the memory.

Dream Spencer got up, put his shoes on, grabbed his bag, and was halfway out the door. Before he left completely he said, “We’re just friends. You’re not enough for me. You never will be.”

Dream you just sat there and stared blankly.

Your eyes opened and you stared up at your ceiling in sorrow. The tears just kept coming and you tried to keep yourself quiet but it was so hard, and you were so tired. You hated to admit it but you were in love with him. You were in love with a man who didn’t feel the same way. A man who did nothing but play you and pretend you were nothing. A man who lied.

How did this happen?

How did you end up in a position where you were in a cold bed crying about a man who was unphased? Someone who didn’t find anything wrong with their actions? How could you love someone who would never find the way to love you back and treat you right no matter how hard you wished? No matter how hard you hoped?

How could you do this to yourself?

And to think - in a few hours you’d have to wake up and see him again. After everything you realized and have come to terms with you’d have to see the man who was responsible for the ache in your heart.

————————————&———————————

When Spencer woke up the first thing he thought about was work. How he didn’t really want to go but he knows he has to. He thought about how heart wrenching the case he’s been on for the last week has been. He thought about how today he might actually be able to solve it...and then he thought about you.

He’d be seeing you.

Hotch invited you to help with the case. He figured your skill set would be exactly what they needed to solve it.

And yeah, you there definitely was for the better of the case but was it for the better of him?

He had no idea what to do. You were mad at him. You weren’t answering his phone calls or his texts and he figured out that you heard the conversation and he gets that maybe calling you a grandmother was wrong, but really what did he do?

He knew he missed you. He missed being able to rant to you, and you consoling him. He missed the movie days you guys had...but he could watch them on his own...right? He could figure out his own problems...he didn’t need anyone to help him. Especially not you. Not someone getting upset about the smallest of things.

That was so rude of you. Why would you ignore him? Why wouldn’t you reply to his texts are calls?

He thought that that was pretty selfish of you.

And yeah sure, maybe calling you clingy was a lie but was that really something to ignore him over? To throw it all away for?

Should've been adjusted to my life, had the opportunity to stay away for the last time...now you’re standin’ right in front of me. It hurts me to know that I lied. Tryna protect your feelings... you read in between the lines
Hope your heart has started healing

You arrived.

He saw you, bag over your shoulder, going straight towards Hotch’s office and ignoring him.

Not even a hello? Not a good morning? You hadn’t even looked at Emily or Morgan either. What had they done? What had he done?

From what he could tell you had been crying, but you covered it well. If it was anyone but him they wouldn’t have been able to tell but he could. Did you miss him too? Were you hurting?

———————————-&————————————

“Is something going on between you and Reid?”

Hotch was looking at you expecting an answer but you didn’t know what to tell him. According to Reid nothing had ever been going on.

“No. I’m really just trying to focus here.”

Hotch nodded. “Good.”

Truth is, it was very hard to ignore Spencer. He seemed so oblivious that it made you feel sorry for him. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t feel sorry for him. He wasn’t the one crying his eyes out at night and cussing out rom coms when they came on the television.

And you could tell he didn’t feel the same. He didn’t look how you felt. He looked conflicted, but he didn’t look sorry or hurt. His normalcy pained you. Had you really meant that little? Maybe you were over exaggerating things. No. You deserved an explanation - but you weren’t ready to hear it.

A while ago...

“Okay Y/N cover your eyes!”

You giggled. “No, Spencer why?”

“Just do it! I promise you’ll like it.”

You were sat criss crossed on the couch and Spencer was behind you with something in his hands. Before you could look at it he told you to close your eyes and he hid it behind his back. You smiled and closed your eyes waiting for whatever the surprise was.

You felt his fingers move your hair out of the way and you felt a coolness along your neck.

A necklace.

“Okay open.”

You could feel him grinning. You opened your eyes and looked down at your chest. You nearly gasped. On the end of the necklace was a miniature glass sculpture. When you met at the museum you told him that they were your favorite.

He remembered.

You held it in your hand and turned around to kiss him. He was a bit surprised but held your face in his hands and kissed you back.

“L/N!” You were snapped out of your head. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry.”

The necklace. You can’t believe you were still wearing it. It felt like the only thing holding you together which was strange since glass was so fragile. The metal necklace part felt like it was burning you. The happy memory burned you. You took the necklace from under your sweater and ripped it off your neck. You couldn’t wear it anymore. It hurt you, but you couldn’t hold on.

Reality is kinda hard to face, like actual facts is for flat-earthers. Rains a requirement for flowers to grow, and pains a requirement for power to grow. It’s a miracle how one can change, from one what was just hours ago.

When you got home that day you were happy and running on adrenaline. Yeah, you had to see Spencer...but you helped solve a case. You helped save someone. It was tiring, and gruesome just like what Spencer said but the feeling you get after helping someone? Unexplainable.

After changing out of your work clothes and into some jeans and a shirt, you’d thought you’d treat yourself to dinner. Maybe that would help you forget. Forget and move on. Besides, it was a nice little diner and you used to be a regular. You had wanted to bring Spencer but he never wanted to go. He never wanted to go out.

His loss.

When you got there the familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon wafted through. You had missed this. When everything was so simple and uncomplicated. When you could be you. Not wondering if today was the day Spencer would decide to come over or not. Or to even call. You could finally breathe. You weren’t in your stuffy apartment. You weren’t in a Spence filled work place. You were where you considered home in a city away from it.

“Y/N, hey!” Em the waitress called you over. You would consider her a friend. You two had always talked when you came through.

“Hey!” She went in for a hug and you hugged her back.

“Where have you been?”

You sighed. “Busy.”

She nodded. She understood. From there she asked you where you wanted to sit. You were just going to request the counter since you were alone, but when a little boy came up to you yelling your name, and wrapped his arms around you...you didn’t have the time to answer. It was little Jack.

“Hey buddy!” You hugged him back.

You looked around for Hotch. What a coincidence. He smiled and waved you over. You and Jack walked over to the booth and Hotch stood and hugged you. “I’m so sorry about Jack.”

“Oh no, it’s fine!”

About two years ago Hotch hired you to babysit Jack every once in a while. You needed the money. You were making enough from the paintings you sold but you needed more to finish college and save up. You weren’t going to some big expensive college or anything but still.

A little while later you met Spencer and it just became and inside joke.

“Would you like to eat with us?” Hotch asked.

“I don’t want to intrude Hotch...”

“Aaron.” He corrected while smiling. “Please, join us.”

And you did. You ate dinner with Aaron and Jack and you were having fun. This past month you had been moping around feeling sorry for yourself but you were actually happy. There was still that pain in your chest, and a part of you that longed to call Spencer and talk to him - but you wouldn’t. You couldn’t.

After dinner Em invited you to go clubbing with her on Saturday. At first you were going to turn her down but you thought...why not? You didn’t have to stay up waiting for Spencer to call anymore. You didn’t have to cook or plan to order in in case Spencer decided to stop by. You didn’t have any plans.

“Sure Em, I’ll be there.”

“Great.”

She walked behind the counter and looked from you to Hotch. Like a suggestive look. Like a “ask him too!” look. And you weren’t ready for anything, and wasn’t even sure if you liked Aaron that way, and you still were in a gray area with Spencer...but you thought it’d be rude not to ask.

“Aaron...”

He nodded, urging you to go on.

“Do you want to go with me Saturday? I mean...I don’t really want to be alone..Em has a girlfriend and it might be fun.”

He laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “Yes Y/N I’ll go.”

When you got home and ready for bed you had this weight in your stomach. There was a lump in your throat, and your fingers tensed. You thought about Hotch and it made you feel like you were cheating on Spencer. But you weren’t. You and Spencer weren’t together. There was no need to feel guilty.

He didn’t.

———————————-&————————————

That Saturday came soon enough and you weren’t sure if you were ready. Physically yeah, you showered and got ready...but emotionally? Mentally? Was this a date? Had you asked Aaron out? Were you ready for that? Had you moved on from Spencer? No, of course not. But Aaron wasn’t a distraction either. You could never do that to him no matter how bad you felt. Never.

Your doorbell rang and when you opened it you were surprised to see Hotch...not in a suit. It fit him and you could admit it...he looked...really good.

“You clean up nice.” You said laughing a bit to yourself.

He looked you up and down. “So do you.”

He looked a bit taken aback and you could see he was a bit flushed and that made you a bit happy. You liked giving people that kind of reaction. It gave you just a bit of confidence you needed. Especially tonight, where you’d try not to think about Spencer.

When you got there you were glad it wasn’t too busy. The music wasn’t that loud either and you were glad because then you got to dance without immediately getting a headache. Your first dance was with Hotch but then he saw one of his friends from college (he’s a lawyer now) and then started talking to him. You didn’t mind. You actually kind of liked being alone. It gave you you time to think. But not about Spencer.

No. Not tonight you wouldn’t.

You wasted too many tears on him to be thinking of him while you were supposed to be having fun. He didn’t deserve your thoughts. He didn’t deserve your tears. He didn’t deserve movie nights, or cuddles, or sex, or kisses, or waiting, he didn’t deserve -

Spencer.

Spencer Reid.

You thought you were dreaming, but you weren’t. He was just a little bit away from you with JJ on his arm. “Just coworkers.” You wanted to say it didn’t hurt you, you did, but your heart broke. In a million little pieces. Had he not want to get serious with you because he was in love with her. It makes sense, everything about that makes sense but it didn’t hurt any less. It didn’t make the tears in your eyes stop, it didn’t make the ache in your chest dim but at least it made sense.

Know it hurts to see the truth in your face, circumstances bring you down to your knees. Go on and cry an ocean, but don’t drown in it. Enough to put your heart at ease. Oh don’t lose your self esteem. I apologize for being a man. It’s way harder than what it seems.

You grabbed your bag from Hotch and told him you needed to go outside for a minute. He asked you if you wanted him to go with you but you needed to be alone. You wanted to be by yourself to fight these tears. You couldn’t cry in front of him.

He gave you his coat which was much too big but still appreciated.

Once you were outside you took your phone out to check your face. Your nose was red but the few tears hadn’t ruined anything. You were fine. You were going to be okay. Everything was alright.

Until it wasn’t .

“Y/N?”

Fucking Spencer.

You turned around to see Spencer Reid walking towards you with a confused look on his face.

“Hey.” he said. Hey? Hey?? What the hell were you supposed to say to that? Hey?

He cleared his throat. “Things are weird, right?”

“Weird?” you scoffed.

“Y/N, it’s been a month! I don’t understand what I did! You just stopped talking to me even after I tried to apologize! What more can I do?”

He stopped for a second, “Is that Hotch’s jacket?” He stepped forward to take a look at it but you flinched away. “Don’t tell me that’s Hotch’s -“

“You were hiding me Spencer. You said the equivalent to hanging out with me was of visiting a grandmother. You never wanted to hang out unless it was on your terms and you called me clingy and suffocating when I NEVER asked you for more. I NEVER went out of my way to ask you for anything and you treat me like this? Like I’m replaceable? After everything we’ve been through? After all we’ve talked about and experienced? What’s your excuse for that Spencer? What could you possibly have to say that would explain that?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again.

“If I were to have called you and said ‘Yup, everything is fine Spence we can go back to normal.’ It would have gone back to normal! YOUR normal! A normal where I’m hidden like a side chick but you get to be in public with JJ on your arm! Fucking JJ! And yeah, we never put a label on it but YOU made it clear that we weren’t to fuck other people. That was YOUR decision! She was the girl you said I didn’t have to worry about and here we are.”

Spencer was silent. He looked to the floor, and said nothing. His fingers ran through his disheveled hair and his lip was quivering.

“So this is because of JJ?” he asked.

“Fuck you.”

————————————&———————————

He watched as you walked into the club and back out again with Hotch. Before you went in his car though you walked over to Spencer and put the necklace into his hand. Silently you walked over to Hotch and got in the passenger seat.

Spencer didn’t know what to do.

This was your necklace. He gave it to you. It was yours to keep. Yours to wear, cherish, and hold. Why would you give it back? It was supposed to make you happy and help you remember him. Instead it was in his hands unworn but the girl he had hurt. What was he supposed to do?

JJ found him outside but he said nothing to her the whole ride when he took her home. He was thinking about you. He was thinking about what you said. You were right.

When he got home he looked at the box of things you gave him. There were polaroid pictures of the two of you and he started shaking as he cried. What had he done? How could he have been so selfish?

You were right.

You were right.

Truth was he did like JJ, and he had been hiding you. He had been treating you unfairly. He had been a jerk and he had done every single thing you said he did.

He was all of the names you were calling him in your head.

Every single one.

He held the glass sculpture necklace in his hands and could feel his tears running down his face falling on it.

Even though he fucked up, and had something weird with JJ, he realized...he was in love with you.

Sometimes it's hard to face reality.

—————————————-&————————————-

literally wtf is this. what in the love triangles - anyway. ik you guys wanted fluff so...part 3? idk. should reader have a thing with hotch? should she choose hotch or reid?

feedback always appreciated. it pushed me to write this.

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