#idk if anyone else has talked abt this but it's been on my brain sm recently

[atrophiedemotion]

ivan & the weagein

i don't think that's how it's spelled but i'm taking it straight from patreon so

one of my favorite bits of ivan's character that i wish was talked about more is his relationship with the weagein at anakt garden. so i wanted to give my two cents on it and why i think he was fond of it & his reasons for staging the confrontation (as well as how his view of till was shaped by it).

why did ivan befriend the waegein?

when ivan was young, he had yet to create and adopt his effortlessly charming persona he uses in his later years. he likely didn't think it was worth it at that age especially when he was already planning to escape. he's largely silent, unapproachable, and generally a bit unnerving. ivan is different than his peers, doesn't experience emotion in the same way and can't understand why/how they feel things or how to communicate as efficiently.

i'm certain he's aware of this, and anyone in this situation (no matter how unaffected they may appear) would start to feel at least a bit like an outcast and like something was wrong with them. ivan did not fit in with the other kids at anakt, so it makes complete sense to me that he would see himself in the waegein.

a guard 'dog' that is only meant to scare other creatures. horrifying and monstrous. kept in a place for a single purpose and assumedly not given much autonomy. treated as lesser than creatures that are the same species as it.

i believe ivan saw himself in the waegein, and took comfort in its presence and existence because he felt a commonality with it that he doesn't feel with his peers. he felt he could be himself around it and not get judged for it. he grows close to it (in a way i imagine would be similar to slowly befriending a feral cat who bites) and bonds with it so well he can be physically close to it. i wouldn't be surprised if the waegein felt similarly seen, honestly.

why did ivan stage till & mizi's confrontation with the waegein?

wellll i think there are a few reasons. these could exist separately, but i personally feel that it's a combination of the three.

ivan needed to show/prove to till that anakt garden is just as dangerous as the outside world.

he wanted to gauge other human's fear response and reaction in general to something they would consider dangerous/scary.

he wanted to test how till in particular would react to danger.

reason one - proving anakt was dangerous

ivan, presumably, knows from the beginning that anakt is not a safehaven or the ideal place for humans to be 'raised'. we can assume this from context clues and his charcter in general, but i think it's a safe assumption. he knows that there's a real world out there, somewhere with the real sun and the real stars and no aliens.

he wants to escape and he wants to take till with him, so he needs to show him that the world they're being forced to live in is just as dangerous and, worse- has hidden horrors as opposed to outright ones. the only way till would actually be willing to run away would be to show him firsthand how much danger they're in. telling him isn't enough, till has to experience it himself (till would never take ivan's word i think lmao).

reason two - gauging fear response/reaction

this one's pretty self explanatory- since ivan does not experience emotions in the way most people do, he learns via the reactions of the people around him so he can mirror them. life or death fear isn't something they're really faced with at anakt, so he needs to set up the situation himself. it's basically a science experiment lmfao

reason three - studying till

ivan is already interested in till at this point, since the timeline isn't exactly in the order shown to us. he's enraptured by till's explosive show of emotions and the way he essentially wears his heart on his sleeve, because that's not something ivan can even begin to comprehend. it would make sense that he'd want to see how till, another person he sees as different from their classmates but in the opposite way of himself, would react to something ivan doesn't blink twice at.

with all this being said, i feel like i can somewhat safely say that ivan is probably both confident in the fact that the waegein will not genuinely attack till & mizi and relatively uncaring if it does. the likelihood of them dying is low, ivan most likely had contingency plans in place, but i also don't think he feels remorse or guilt as much as he feels shame. (but that's for another day)

okay i was going to into how this event shaped the way ivan saw and felt about till & the correlation with the meteor shower but this is already very long so i will make a separate post talking about that and link it here when im done lmao

[wosowrites]

Hot Tub Tease Part 3 (Leah Williamson x Reader)

Warnings: ⚠️smut⚠️

A/N: This series has my heart. this is also my first time writing smut and i rly don’t know how i feel abt it bcs i respect leah as a player and a person sm so we’ll see if I do it again or no :) also, if you haven’t read them yet. Part 1 is here: https://www.tumblr.com/wosowrite/712300627075727360/hot-tub-tease-leah-williamson-x-reader and part 2 is here: https://www.tumblr.com/wosowrite/712775784285257728/hot-tub-tease-part-2-leah-williamson-x-reader

Once again, idk how I feel abt smut.

Prompt: In which you go back to Chelsea, and Leah to Arsenal, and then after a game, you meet up and end up at your apartment. ( slow burn )

International break had been over for two months now. You had gone back to London with Leah, but after that, you had kept your distance. In all honesty, you just didn’t know how to be in a relationship, and your feeling for Leah were scaring you. You wanted to have sex with her so badly, but you didn’t want her to think that was all you wanted. You wanted her to know you loved her for way more than her body. You had an ultimatum, and you didn’t know who to talk to it about. So, one night, you restored to alcohol.

You never resorted to alcohol. Ever. Your dead beat father had a history with addiction, and you were set on never falling down that path.

But your brain was screaming at you, and your heart was screaming for Leah. And everything was loud and you needed to numb it. So you picked your poison- vodka- and drank.

It was probably three drinks later that you took out your phone. You opened your contacts, staring at the alphabetical list. "Beth." You slurred. You clicked the call button and heard as the phone rang. It only rang twice before Beth picked up. "Hey, y/n! What’s up?" Beth’s voice said. You heard background noise. "Uhm. The- I-" you slurred, trying to figure out what to say. Instead of words you just burst out giggling. "Beffy, can I tell you something?" You said, calming down from your laughing fit and sliding your body onto the counter, pressing your face against the cool marble. "Are you drunk?" Beth asked, you heard the music turn down. "Beth! I said. Can I ask you something?" You repeated, louder and with more intensity. "Yeah. Go ahead." She said gently. "I- I’m so fucking in love with Leah. Like. Like I want to hold her- i want to hold her like… all the time. And… have you seen her smile. Like it’s- she has a good smile. And I like her nose." You said, trailing your finger down your own nose. "It’s a good nose. And I- I wouldn’t be enough for her. But she’s… she’s more than enough for me, Beffy." You said, tears welling up in your eyes, making you sniffle. There’s a moment of silence. "I’m gonna come see you, y/n." Beth said. "Will you bring Leah?". You asked. "I don’t think that’s a good idea." Beth said gently. "Yeah. You’re right. I’m not good enough for Leah." You muttered, more to yourself than anyone else. "No that’s not-" Beth started saying. But you hung up swiftly

Katie’s apparement

Beth stares at the phone for a second, looking at the call. Y/n had just hung up on her, and Beth was really worried about her.

The gunner looks up from her phone, watching the room that was watching her. "Who was that?" Katie asked, breaking the ice. "And why did you sound so nervous?" She added.

Beth ignored her. "Uhm. Viv, we need to go." Beth said instead, standing up and grabbing her coat that was at the door. "Okay." Viv said simply. "What is going on?" Leah said, standing up. "It’s… listen it’s fine." Beth tried to say, slipping her shoes on. "No I recognize that voice. It was y/n." Leah argued. "I’m coming with you."

"Leah! Lee… i’m sorry. It’s just- I don’t think that’s a good idea for her right now." Beth said. Leah’s heart broke right in front of Beth, making a wave of guilt surge through her, even though she knew it was better for Leah to stay away from you at the moment. "Listen, we play Chelsea in two days. Wait till she’s… better." Beth said.

She gave her friend a smile and then quickly ushered Viv out of the house.

Back at your apparement.

Somehow, you had ended up getting off the nice, cool counter and walking around your kitchen. All you could remember from your phone call with Beth was that Leah’s name was mentioned a couple times. And in your brain, you just registered that Leah was coming. And where there was Leah, there were ham sandwiches. You went about your kitchen, drinking another cup of vodka and drunkily putting ham on a slab of bread.

Soon enough, you heard your doorbell ring. By that time, you had probably made 20 ham sandwiches… or whatever you called two pieces of bread with a singular slice of ham in it. You tripped towards your door and opened it. "Le- Beth?" You said. "Hey, darling." She said gently. "Where’s Leah?" You asked, moving aside to the brit and the dutch inside. "I told you she wasn’t coming, remember?" You thought hard. "Oh. Right. I remember." You slurred.

You did not.

"You guys can go. I’m sorry for calling you. I was just in a bad mood and. Well, yeah." You said, starting to walk over to your L shaped couch. You stumbled, making Viv, who was closest to you, catch you and hold you up by your elbow. "Let’s get you to the couch, okay?" She said gently, as Beth poured you a glass of water and dumped the rest of the vodka done the sink.

"Why are there so many ham sandwiches?" Beth asked, brining you a glass of water and sitting next to you. " As I said. I thought Leah was coming." You said, taking the water and sipping it. "And Leah needs 20 ham sandwiches?" Beth said, clearly just teasing.

However you were tired, and your love for Leah was getting painful. You hung your head, Beth watching you from the spot beside you, and Viv from her spot standing in front of you. You didn’t know how you started crying, but suddenly you had put down the water on your clear coffee table and your head was in your hands and you were sobbing. "Hey, hey there." Beth said, placing her hand on your back and rubbing it up and down. "Its- it’s so tiring. To love her, I mean." You hiccuped. "Because even if she managed to love me back, I don’t think I could let her. She’s just too good. And i’m too fucking broken." You ranted to Beth.

Beth knew not to say anything. She knew not to say things like 'no you aren’t' or 'it’ll be okay.' Instead, she gently guided your head to her lap, and stroked ur hair. Eventually, you started to feel yourself doze off. "You guys can go." You mumbled. "Not a chance in hell." Viv said quickly, making her girlfriend smile at her. "Okay. You guys can take the guest bedroom. I’m gonna stay here." You said sleepily, sitting up to let Beth free. "I have training at 10:00 tomorrow. What time do you guys have it?" You asked. "9:00. We’ll be out of here by 7:30." Beth said, kissing the top of your head. "Goodnight." Viv said. "Goodnight. Oh and guys. Don’t tell Leah about any of this."

The next morning.

You woke up on the couch, the London morning light pouring into your apartment. You patted the couch for your phone, finding it under your back. You grabbed it and opened it, seeing the time: 7:55, and a bunch of missed texts and calls from the woman that made you a mess last night. You looked at the texts she sent. They were a mix of 'where are you?', 'are you okay?', ‘please answer me', ‘you’re scaring me y/n'

You groaned loudly, sitting up and holding your head due to the mighty hangover you were experiencing. Training was going to be fun.

You debated whether or not to call Leah, but you ended up just sending her a text.

all good, just a rough night.

You texted her. Immediately, a bubble appeared on the screen.

don’t do that again.

"What? Get blackout drunk and cry because of how much I love you, i’ll try my best." You muttered to yourself.

You stood up and walked to your washroom. You turned on the shower and undressed, not waiting for the water to heat up before walking into it. You needed to get the smell of sweat, alcohol and ham off of you.

After showering, you got dressed in your kit and put your tracksuit over before making yourself eggs and sausages with fruit. You made a coffee, ate quickly and left the house at 9:00. The drive to Cobham was only 10 minutes long, but you left early anyways, wanting to get out of your house.

You were the first at Cobham, traffic was bad so you got there at 9:25. You walked into the facility, happy that the cameras weren’t there yet. You were an overthinker, and in your mind, if the cameras were there they would film you, and they would be able to capture your exhausted and hungover appearance, and then Leah would see it, and fans would see it and say you didn’t care about Chelsea. So instead of overthinking, you put your bag down in the locker room, put on your socks and your cleats and walked out onto the field. A few trainers were there, setting up drills, but they simply smiled at you and let you do your own thing. You did keep ups, but eventually ended up doing what was most therapeutic to you. Shooting.

The practice went by slowly. You tried not to seem as though you had drunken half a bottle of vodka, but most of the players could tell you were out of it. When training ended, you walked to your car but before you got in, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see your captain standing there. "Hey Magda." You said, closing your car door and leaning up against it. "Hey. Listen, i’m not mad at you. But we have a big game tomorrow. And you can’t… we’ll you can’t come to the game how you came to training today. I don’t know what’s going on with you- and i’m here if you need to talk- but you need to fix it." Magda said. You watched her for a second, but nodded. "I know. And I’m sorry. It was a bad night and I made a bad decision. I promise that i’ll come to the game tomorrow more awake then ever." You told her. "I know you will." She walked over to her car, and Pernille smiled at you. Eventually you climbed into your own car, and went home.

The next day.

All your team was warming up outside. So was the Arsenal team. Meanwhile, you stood in the tunnel, watching them. You realized now that you fear of seeing Leah, or more, of Leah seeing you would have been more easily avoided if you had gone out in a big ground. Instead, you would be walking out onto the field by yourself, for all the Chelsea fans to scream your name, for all the Gunners to turn their heads and watch you.

You had kept your promise to Magda and stayed sober, so you were asking yourself why you felt even more hungover than yesterday. However, you started walking onto the field. The second you came into sight, the Chelsea fans started cheering. You were a loved player in the Blues squad, and it was obvious. You felt the Arsenals eyes on you, but you didn’t stare back. Instead, you picked up your pace and jogged over to the girls who were stretching.

"Hey. We were wondering where you were." Sam said. "All good. Just needed to go to the washroom." You answered.

Soon enough it was time to go back to the locker room, you were the last in, having talked to Emma about the game plan quickly. "Hey." A voice said as you entered the tunnel. "Shit!" You yelled, jumping. Your face turned to stone when you saw Leah standing there. "Cant talk right now. Game. Go to your locker room, Lee." You said, starting to walk. "No." Leah grabbed a hold of your arm. "What happened two nights ago?" She asked. "Nothing you need to worry yourself with. Especially before we play each other." You said, looking at her and gently using your free hand to untwine her hand from your arm. "Please Leah." You pleased with her. "Can we grab a coffee after the game?" Leah asked, giving you puppy dog eyes.

You thought for a second. "Okay."

Both teams lined up in the tunnel and then walked out. The game was good. It was fast paced, rough, and a lot of fun. But it ended in a 2-2 tie. You were very annoyed, but you sucked it up and signed things, took pictures, talked with fans and then left to go back to the changing room. Despite the score, Emma was very pleased, a tie was good for us, and less good for Arsenal who really needed the win.

You showered, put on your tracksuit and hurried out of the changing room. You left the complex, signing more autographs and taking more pictures as you walked out. Eventually, you made it to your car where Leah was standing. "Didn’t think you could get away from me? Would you?" She asked. "Didn’t think so. But I hoped." You said honestly.

You opened the door for her and let her into the passengers seat, knowing very well you were being recorded by fans.

But you didn’t care. And neither did Leah. No matter who she was with, people though they were dating. So, you drove in silence for a while towards your house. You had agreed to for for coffee, but you both knew that wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to maybe, talk a little. And definitely, well…

"Y/n I need you to tell me what happened. Why did you call Beth, and why did her and Viv leave?" Leah asked. "I don’t even know why you know there’s a situation, I asked Beth not to say anything." You said, keeping your eyes on the road. "All the arsenal girls were there when you called. We were playing games at Katie’s." Leah said hesitantly. "Oh. That’s why they were all looking at me like I was a broken glass." You said. "They weren’t."

"They were."

There was a moment of silence, broken by Leah. "You still have answered my question."

You were getting close to home now.

"Because i’m scared of you’ll look at me when I tell you." You responded. "Don’t say that. Don’t say I could ever look at you with anything but love." Leah said, not noticing that tears were now slipping down her cheeks. "Because if you say that then that’s just an insult to me." Leah said. "I called Beth because I was drunk. And because my heart was aching… for you, Leah. I broke down crying because of how in love with you I am."

You were now pulling up to your apartment. "And I called her because I wanted to call you. But if I called you, you would come over and I wouldn’t know how to keep my hands off you." You had now cut the engine, and you had turned to look at her. "And I didn’t want you to think that I only wanted you for your body. Because I want you for so much more than that. I want you for your jokes, and for your laugh, and for your smile and your sense of style. I want you for your ability with kids and yeah a little for your body because it’s a really good body but on that list it’s last." You said.

"Y/n… Ive always known you didn’t want me for my body. I just didn’t know if you wanted me at all." Leah said. You looked at her for a bit before opening the door and climbing out of the car. You circled the vehicle, coming to Leah’s side and opening it for her. "Let’s go inside." You said. You offered her your hand, which she took, and you held onto it even after helping her out of the car. Your heart was beating stupidly fast, but you held onto Leah’s hand, rubbing your thumb against the back of her hand. You used your key to enter the building and then walked up the stairs to the second floor. You walked down the hallway too appartement 207. You unlocked the door, having to let go of Leah’s hand, and then let her in. You quickly put down your keys and your back and took off your shoes. "Take off your shoes." You said to her, almost hungrily. Leah obeyed quickly, and you were ready to take control, but the second she turned around, it was obvious she had other ideas.

Sooner than you knew it, Leah had pushed you up against a wall and was slipping your shirt off. You immediately let her, enjoying the feeling of her hands roaming your skin. She attacked your neck, and sucked on a sensitive spot, making you moan loudly which only turned her on more. You felt her hands squeezing your ass and you wrapped your legs around her waist as she picked you up. You kept making out, stumbling blindly into the bedroom and giggling when she knocked into the doorframe.

Leah see you down on the bed, hovering over you. "Take your clothes off." You said. "Eager, are we?" She teased. "I’m way past lying. I’m fucking eager." You said. You flipped your positions, gently taking her shirt off and trailing kisses up her toned stomach. You reached her sports bra and slipped a finger under. "Is this okay?" You asked, making eye contact with her ocean eyes. "Just fuck me." She answered. That was your go. You pulled her bra off, exhaling at the sight of her tits. You made a show of taking off your bra yourself, slipping it off while hovering over her, resting on your knees, one of your legs on each side of her body. "You’re beautiful." She said.

You smirked at her and bent down, using one hand to twist Leah’s nipple between your thumb and index, and attacking her other one with your tongue. You sucked on it and swiveled your tongue around the pink skin until they were both hard. You then moved downwards, pulling off her shorts.

You started by touching her through her underwear, feeling her wet pussy. "You got so wet, so quick." You teased her. You rubbed her clit through the fabric, sending shivers up Leah’s spine and making her cry your name. "You ready?" You asked. "Yeah. Just… slowly. It’s been awhile."

You nodded and slipped off her underwear, admiring her glistening folds. You put your head between her legs, making out with her cunt and making the english woman scream with pleasure. You grazed your nails up and down her stomach as she squeezed her thighs against the side of your head. You kept working, slipping your tongue into her hole gently and then swiftly biting her sensitive clit lightly.

The sound of her moaning your name made you squeeze your own thighs together. Soon enough, Leah came and you licked up her juices, enjoying her sweetness. "Fingers?" You asked her, looking into her eyes. "Yeah." She said, the sight of her naked chest rising and falling was sending you over the edge and she hadn’t even touched you yet. You gently slipped your middle finger inside of her, making her yell. You worked fast, pumping your fingers in and out of her and praising her. She was shaking hard by the time she came on your fingers. She was shaking, but you were too. Your pussy was throbbing with want, with need. You sucked your fingers, looking into her eyes as you did it. She pulled your face down to hers, kissing you and tasting herself on your tongue. "Your shaking." She said heavily. "I’m fine." You lied. "Hush. I’ll make it all better." She said. That could have made you cum right then and there.

Leah flipped you around so that she was on top of you, making quick work of ditching your shorts and your underwear. "All this for me?" She asked, swiping her fingers through your folds and making you moan her name. "Shut up." You laughed. Leah pushed the pad of her thumb on your clit, having the effect of your screams filling the room. She moved her thumb in a circular motion, grazing her fingers on the inside of your thigh. Without warning, she pushed in two fingers, making you scream, she pumped in and out with two fingers, playing with your breast in her free hand. She hit your G spot every time, making your back arch off the bed. You came, your body shaking wildly, Leah’s name being screamed loudly and your needs satisfied beyond comprehension.

Leah passed her tongue over your pussy, and then came to lie down beside you. Your breathing was intense, and the bed covers had long fallen off the bed. You swung you leg over her hip, your naked body pressed against hers. It felt amazing, feeling her, having her knowing what kind of effect she had on you. "Thank you." You told her, placing your head on her chest. "For fucking you?" She laughed.

"No! Well… yes. But for being here. For being…" You started saying, but didn’t know how to end your sentence. "Yours?" Leah suggested.

You propped yourself up on your forearm. "Will you be? Mine. I mean." You asked her. "Only if we can do this more often." She said.

You laughed loudly and kissed her, lying down on top of her.

[pearlzier]

omg i apologize for filling your inbox with my asks. but literally!! you get me frfr!! great minds think alike. beware for another yap session bc omg i feel so seen, like genuinely im not even kidding. like i said, this isn’t a vent, this is just me explaining how my brain processes stuff.

one problem that i genuinely have is this thing with numbers. i can’t do math like normal people, and it’s always made me stick out like a sore thumb. it’s like dyslexia, but with numbers (dyscalculia) and all throughout my school career, it’s been something that has messed with my grades. im good in other subjects, but anything that involves math is just.. not for me. everyone in my life has either said that im “too lazy” or “dumb” for not knowing basic math. BUT THATS HOW MY BRAIN WORKS !! i can’t do problems in my head, nor can i do them on paper. i haven’t seen anyone talk about this specific learning disorder ever, since i feel like it’s a little more rare?? i might be wrong though.

it’s embarrassing for me, y’know? bc im still in school and i only have like a year and a half of this stuff to go, and im definitely gonna have to do more stuff involving numbers and it’s gonna stress me the fuck out. moving on from that.. i could literally spend hours talking about how my brain works, bc people have told me so many times that they wonder how the fuck my brain works, and processes information. i don’t even know myself.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. this was lengthy but omg i hope someone knows what im talking about 😭

I GET YOU FRFR !! its okay yap sessions r fine w me love em <3

IM SORRY THAT THEY SAID THAT THAT SUCKS i've never like been through that exactly but in relation to maths my ability has just deteriorated as i've gotten older ??? like anything with numbers. is just. i don't struggle totally but i kinda get you if u get what i mean

wishin u sm luck with school btw ! ur gonna do GREAT 💓 honestly samesies my brain is a mystery even to myself and it's kind of scary that i don't even know why i behave/am the way i am and the way i do things. i confuse even myself so how is someone else supposed to know if u get what i mean. i absolutely feel you and would love to continue to hear abt ur brain because me too frfr its just ❓️ idk whats goin on up there I GET IT

[astralaffairs]

w/ midnight approaching i j wanna let yall know that this blog was genuinely the best part of my 2020. it's been a hellish year, but getting to meet & know writers like @deja-you (girl ur writing has a SPECIAL place in my heart istg. i know we don't talk much but ur presence on this site and on ur blog makes my life a lil brighter. even if the feeling isn't mutual i think of u as a good friend 💞❣) @daveeddiggsit (an actual ray of sunshine 🥺) @iknowthekoolaidflavor @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @tinywhim & @biafbunny all of whose works ive been reading for as long as (or longer than) ive been writing for this fandom has been so incredible and heart warming <3 ur all such damn sweethearts and ilu

& then there have been the new mutuals that have popped up and brightened my life like @commandersmiley @braidedchallah @ramp-it-up & @moondustmemories @summerofsnowflakes @raiseaglasstothefourofus (i know we don't chat much but ilu all sm 🥺)

& @id-do-it-for-free-babe @peoniarose @ohsoverykeri-blog (idk where the hyphens go in ur url ill fix it later) & @cloudynblw

then there's @einfachniemand who literally hypes me more than ANYONE else and is probably the most supportive person on this entire goddamn site ❣💕 i would give u the world if i could but alas i do not have that kind of power

and @youunravelme whose asks and notifs MAKE MY ENTIRE LIFE. u don't even know and i can't explain bruh i get like 80% of my serotonin from getting notifs from u and hearing ur thoughts in my inbox. it's the absolute best. u have made my 2020 like 80% better. i can't emphasize this enough you make me so happy.

and maybe (just maybe) im abt to mention @tinywhim again who is absolutely the kindest most gracious person alive i swear 🥺 also she wrote my absolute outright favorite thom fic that i have ever read (and yes, i have read quite a number of them since 2016) and im now enamored w demon!thom

and ofc @the-lost-marauder 🥰🥰 as much as i adore every single one of my followers and mutuals, ur by far one of my favorite ppl to hear from on this site. your thanksgiving ball oneshot is still one of my favorite things to read on here and u have absolutely excellent energy. i feel like we'd probably vibe irl (also pls more secret relationship vp!thom content!!! pl ease !!!!!! i need it asap)

and yes im abt to mention @deja-you again bc she's such a fucking sweetheart. the literal embodiment of sunshine and cotton candy. idk what else there is to say here u just have the purest vibes i feel like ur the type of person to save a cat from a tree or have a bird land on ur shoulder. u just have that energy 🥺💫 then again you outright broke my heart w foreign affairs so idk i might have to retract all that 😤

& special s/o to @fentinatalin for having shitty taste in men. that's all.

jk jk ily natalie 🤧❣ have i ever told u that when u hmu on ig i almost didn't dm u back bc it gave me anxiety and i thought you'd think i was uncool on main??? anyway im glad i did hit u back bc ur a ridiculously excellent friend and i frequently forget ive only known u for a couple months???? i realized recently that ive picked up some of ur texting habits and idk how to feel abt it . anyway ily thanks for existing

also mega shoutout to @maniacmichele bc ik i haven't answered ur graph theory ask but that's bc ive been watching math yt videos to try and dissect it until i can figure out wtf it all means. ur smart as shit and i am in awe of ur math brain ty for taking the time to explain that graph theory thing bc i have spent literal hours nerding out over it

also to @marioverthere bc i know we don't talk much anymore (FUCK time zones) but meeting you and getting the chance to know u literally made me so happy (also ur the reason i started staying current w/ the hk protests so ty ao much for making me aware of that darling)

and to @softclowninghours for having THE PUREST energy. u probably give excellent hugs i can just feel it. i just know it.

and then all my anons w ur lil emojis and signatures, who i love and cherish -- i won't try to list all of u bc i WILL forget some and im not tryna do u like that but some honorable mentions:

🐥 anon, for being like half the reason i ever touch my draft of lobsterback (ur my motivation, inspiration, muse, etc. thanks honey)

🍬 anon, for being absolutely fucking adorable and an enormous sweetheart

🐺 anon, for being friendly as hell and also kinda fucking hilarious. ur asks always make me smile

💙🖤 anon, for being so so so damn kind and supportive all the fucking time (ily)

there are so many people and blogs and anons that have made an impression on me this year, so believe me when i say this is very, very, VERY incomplete; if we've ever talked, or you've sent me an ask, or you've ever interacted with my post, you deserve a spot up here so pls forgive me for having 3 neurons and not remembering to mention u as i hastily write this post

literally though i love and appreciate every single one of you so much. this sounds like a huge platitude but i don't know how else to say it because there are genuine thousands of u who id list if i had more time or energy. you're all excellent. thank you so much for being alive at the same time as me.

also s/o to disney and lin for releasing the obc tape bc fr thats the only reason this fandom came back to life

+ also HUGE shoutout to the person who venmoed me ten bucks for the fotp smut. i don't have ur tumblr @ since u sent everything on anon but yk who you are; your generosity means the world to me and i hope the smut lived up to ur hopes and expectations

++ also the anon who encouraged me to actually write my art museum au 😌❣ ik it isn't up yet but ive been loving it so much and i hope u like it when it drops

[lexicals]

EPISODE NOTES COMING AT YOU RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW

THIS EPISODE CLEARED MY SKIN WATERED MY CROPS CURED ALL MY MENTAL ILLNESSES YOU KNOW. ALL THAT GOOD STUFF

LESBIANNSSSSSS

This first part is as usual gonna be completely out of order. Anyway

VESPA WAS SO SOFT THIS EP ;; I lover her sm I love her and buddy I love them communicating I love vespa comforting buddy who is allowing herself to be vulnerable for once

Speaking OF, aside from just the fantastic character development for buddy and the point abt her being a narcissist needing to listen to Her Own Goddamn Advice

The parallels between her and nureyev were more prominent than EVER this episode!! Jet suggesting that she leave him in command!! Her bit about her persona only ever having been a mask!! Saying that she's one of the best equipped people to spot an act in progress because she's done it herself for so long!! The obsession with being Good Enough and keeping up that flawless persona!! LIKE MOTHER LIKE SON GIVE ME THIS CONTENT

NUREYEV HATERS GET WRECKED

He had so much good shit this episode. First of all he actually sounded like capital N Nureyev, not ransom or anyone else. Second of all he was so willing to put himself in harm's way for this heist!! He's acting so much like he was when he was younger, desperate to get the job done, insisting he can do it even when it's obvious he's overreaching because he wants it so badly

SPEAKING OF JUNO GETTING HIS SHOOTING ABILITY BACK AAAAAAAAA

I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. HE SOUNDED SO HAPPY. HE SOUNDED SO EXCITED

Also vespa calling nureyev selfish and saying that she bets he's never sacrificed anything in his life?? When I say I shouted OUCH out loud jesus christ

Like okay do I think the debt subplot is gonna come to a head next episode (juno's episode)?? Absolutely. Do I think that nureyev is gonna try to make a break for it with the four items now that they've finished the heist? YUP. Do I also think he's doing it because he's scared and is trying to do as little harm as possible while trying to protect himself? YEAH.

His speech about symbols being all anyone has and just,, ooooof god. God. Someone give this poor man a hug

Also he deffo stole the knife right at the end there huh. "Lost" my ass

Juno being a fucking first rate detective once again mr steel I love you I love you you dumb whiny baby

I love buddy and vespa being so jokingly disparaging of them all T~T They're family and they give each other shit and they love each other!!

Vespa called juno by his name!! Not by steel!! Admittedly I'm p sure it was only to buddy but Still

"You're not the only one on this ship with medical secrets" vespa???? Hello????? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Nureyev quoting buddy's line from the end of man in glass a YEAR after she said it to him and after he spent all of MiG quoting mag?? One hit KO to my heart. She's as much a parent and mentor to him as mag ever was and I need SO much more content of the two of them bonding & being mother & son

I definitely need to listen to this ep again at LEAST once. Jesus. Spent the whole thing bouncing up and down and screaming. In fact I think I have given myself a headache by overheating my brain so I will add more to this Later

Thoughts after the fact:

What vespa was saying about nureyev acting differently..... could be read as him being nervous but I can't help but think with him having been talking in his own voice all episode, what if he just wasn't putting up a persona? I don't think it would be much of a leap to think that nureyev in actuality is much quieter than the personalities he wears, but idk, just a thought

This is further to discussions that were had on the tpp adults server but uhh juno is So smart and should have been listened to earlier not just in this episode, but like going back to part one he's been pointing out buddy's questionable decisions she's made to put off this heist for almost the whole year!! Listen to juno challenge cb crew smh

I know..... that jet has been lined up as buddy's successor...... but like idk I feel like that's not a role that suits jet rly?? Yes, he's calm and steady and logical but he doesn't have buddy's strategic mind or charisma, and yes I am saying this because nureyev does and I want this to be plot relevant besides making for interesting parallels

LET NUREYEV TAKE UP THE MANTLE 2020

Second listen notes:

I just. Love buddy sm the way she speaks is so fun to listen to

“How are your children? Which is to say your car”

Nureyev is like, legit so loyal to buddy? He defends her a lot and clearly respects her immensely. Pls kabert can we have mother and son bonding

Buddy and jet’s relationship....... I cry I cry I cry

Like I literally cannot pick out my fav lines from this ep bc there’s SO many of them I’d just be quoting the whole thing

I love. Hearing buddy and vespa just talking though. Ragging juno and nureyev, being sweet with each other, laughing together..... vespa being like “one thing first - I love you :>” healed me

“If our places were switched, what would you say to me?” [CRYING CAT EMOJI]

Juno’s little “Yes, yes! Yes” just, T~T

The fact that buddy gets her advice referenced from every crew member...... jet, vespa, nureyev, and then rita..... not juno though? Idk if that’s because we just haven’t heard from juno yet or ??? idk. Weird though

Listen not to go back to this but jet does NOT sound like he wants the captain role...... and like, even on a meta level I’m not so sure he suits it but like buddy says he hates it when she says it and LET NUREYEV SUCCEED BUDDY 2020

Vespa is so excited abt the prime ;; Like SO excited, which is so sweet, but also I’m very very interested in that writing on the bottom

She’s so SOFT with buddy as well, and so calm...... I’m cry I’m cry she’s just like “okay, so you’ve got a problem, let’s fix it then”

“We’ve all had to put up with juno and ransom [acting like newlyweds] long enough” YELL. The fond family ragging of it all but also jupeter confirmed for completely insufferable

Couple of additional things:

I find.... nureyev’s little speech abt symbols and stuff rly interesting. Idk my running theory abt his debts is that his name is being used as leverage against him with the stipulation being “if you don’t pay, we’ll release your name and face to the public” meaning not only will he be in danger, but brahma as well, if we assume that the GAS has been deactivated since he left. The symbol he left behind is the only thing keeping the citizens of brahma safe - and not even that tbh, it’s only providing the illusion of safety, if this is actually the case. Idk I really wanna get my hands on the script now I think that speech says a lot abt his mental state rn

WHO ELSE ON THE CREW HAS MEDICAL SECRETS VESPA?

I don’t like the sick nureyev theory tbh but ):

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[artificialqueens]

Pulling Leaves Off Trees, Chapter 1: Been Through the Wringer a Couple Times (Multi) - Sportkuras

Summary:

c’est bon: damnnn

c’est bon: wait. jan isnt your apartment near shea’s

human girl: @jansport spill

Jan could feel her stomach drop as she looked at the message.

“Oh, goddamn it.”

—

Or: The girls try to survive college, and everything else that comes with almost being an adult.

A/N: my first fic here on artificialqueens! i noticed that arent many college au’s and group chat fics of the s12 cast so i let myself be self-indulgent for once!! its unbeta’d so apologies lmao but you can talk to me here and you can find the ao3 link here! comment if you’d like!

***

Jan started her morning like almost every college student in their third year would: to be woken up by their alarm after a night of heavy drinking. She woke up with a start and groaned as Chromatica II started blaring from her phone, blindly reaching for it on her nightstand and peering at the time.

Damn. One in the afternoon, huh?

“Thank god I don’t have class today.” The blonde muttered as she checked her notifications: 7 from Twitter, 3 from Insta, and 1 from their group chat. She sat up from her bed and scrolled through the chat, trying to quell her pounding headache.

Bon Voy

Members: jaidaessencehall, heidininacloset, jansport, jackiecox, gigigoode, crystalmethyd, britafilter, dahliasin, nickydoll, aidenzhane, and widowvondu

lebron essence ball: okay so

lebron essence ball: me and shea are at the library rn and she’s complaining to me abt how she couldnt sleep right

lebron essence ball: and chile….it was bc someone was getting RAILED last night lmaooo

lebron essence ball: she said, and i quote, “the bitch had such a good time even I’M jealous”

c’est bon: damnnn

c’est bon:wait. jan isnt your apartment near shea’s

human girl: @jansport spill

human girl: also

human girl: feels weird that we didn’t start this day with a good morning announcement from jan

c’est bon: the vibes were off 😞

Jan could feel her stomach drop as she looked at the message, “Oh, goddamn it.” She’s now acutely aware of their apartment door opening and Rock’s footsteps padding from outside her room, most likely just coming home from her class. She suddenly remembered exactly what happened last night; most especially memories of what happened between her and her roommate . Memories of them being drunk as hell, coming back to their apartment from god knows how many bars, going to Jan’s room giggling like teenagers on a sleepover and well. You know.

Jan checked her phone again.

lebron essence ball: jannette….would you happen to know who was the lucky gal? 👀

backpack backpack: good morning to you too gigi 🙄

human girl: *Afternoon, actually

human girl: Now spill! I know you know almost everyone on that floor.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. How in the hell was she gonna say that her and Rock got drunk and hooked up as casually as possible? She could lie, but Jaida, Brita and Widow could smell bullshit coming from a mile away, and she’s a horrible liar. They’d know she was bluffing.

Might as well get it over it. She let out a sigh as she typed out a message, hoping that it was only Jaida, Nicky and Gigi who were online.

backpack backpack: haha yeah so um

backpack backpack: that was me & rock actually

Even though no one could see her, Jan hid her face behind her hands, bracing for the worst. Several dings!  had come from her phone as soon as she sent the message. Of course it wasn’t only Jaida, Nicky and Gigi who were online.

cox destroyers: Oh my god.

Jan’s eyes widened when she saw Jackie reply, although she’s not quite sure why she was panicking about Jackie knowing about her hook up with Rock in the first place. All she knows is that she’s gonna have to face Jackie (and everyone else, for that matter,) later.

sin city: ohhh bitch—

c’est bon: you and ROCK???

dom top: !!!

dom top: idk who Rock is but get it sister

backpack backpack: Thank you! Thank you, Heidi. It’s like you’re the only one who’s not acting weird right now.

c’est bon: lmao heidi

c’est bon: she’s jans roommate

human girl: Janice Elizabeth Sport.

von du for two: not this shit again i swear to god

tap water: Jan.

tap water: You know that I love you

tap water: BUT WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SLEEPING WITH YOUR ROOMMATES

Jan rolled her eyes at the messages, wanting the ‘news’ to be over as soon as possible. “And they say I’m the dramatic one.” She huffed as she quickly typed on her phone again.

backpack backpack: okay can y’all chill 🙄

backpack backpack: we just got drunk and slept together, that’s all.

backpack backpack: tell shea im sorry though xxxx @jaidaessencehall

lebron essence ball: bitch you know it ain’t about having a drunk hookup with someone

lebron essence ball: its about the fact that you banged your roommate AGAIN

backpack backpack: oh COME ON

backpack backpack: this was just the second time!!

backpack backpack: and lemon’s with priyanka now!!!

von du for two: girl you & lemon were fucking almost every week i can’t with u

von du for two: going at it like rabbits while we were outside your apartment getting ready to watch glee :/

tap water: and, frankly, i don’t want to come up to your apartment to run lines with you if i have to hear y’all fooling around. my good, christian ears have heard enough.

She felt her face heat up in embarrassment.

backpack backpack: oh my god can you guys please shut up!!!!

backpack backpack: it’s not gonna happen again bc it was a one time thing

backpack backpack: i promise

human girl: [dwayne the rock johnson voice] are you sure about that?

backpack backpack: yes georgina goode i am 100% sure

Jan bit her lip as she looked up at the door to her room. Okay, she’s not 100% sure, but not because she regretted it or anything. As much as her brain was allowing her to remember, last night was good. Great, even. But between auditions, college, and working in the café, her love life (or lack thereof) is on pause for now. Besides, it’s not like anyone has been actively pursuing her, or vice versa.

But it wouldn’t hurt to ask Rock, right?

Sighing in defeat, Jan quickly got up from her bed with her phone still in her hand (as much as her hangover allowed her), left her room and knocked on her roommates door, hoping that she wasn’t busy. She heard a faint “come in!” from the other side and opened the door softly.

“Hey, roomie.” She joked.

Rock looked up from her drawing tablet and slipped off the headphones from her ears. “Glad to see you’re finally awake, and here I thought you were a morning person.” Rock’s room was a mess of color and paraphernalia; while Jan’s was strictly purple, pop culture, and musical theater, hers was an array of figurines and albums on the shelves, kpop & anime posters tacked on the wall behind her bed reaching up to the ceiling, and a somewhat decent gaming setup in the corner of her room. Crystal and Nicky would be proud.

Jan rolled her eyes, “Yeah, well, last night was something,” She slightly cleared her throat at the mention of last night. “Also, about last night…”

Rock raised her brow, “Go on?”

“It was a one time thing, right?” Jan furrowed her brows in question, “I mean, last night was amazing , as much my brain is allowing me to remember. And you’re hot, so, I’m not complaining. Really dig the anime e-girl vibe, and I’m sure anyone would tap that ass! I mean, I did, but I’m just—”

“—Not looking for anything right now?” Rock cut her off, saving Jan from turning into a hungover, rambling mess.

She let out a sigh of relief, sitting on her roommates bed and putting her phone down, “Yeah, doll. Just been really busy right now, y’know? 3rd year isn’t a joke.”

The pink-haired girl let out a snort, “Oh, I know the feeling. And don’t worry, I wasn’t looking for anything either, and while last night was fun,” She looked at her pointedly, and Jan was calm enough to actually smirk at the incident between the two, “I’d much rather have you as my friend than as my fuck buddy, because you are loud , girl!”

Jan shrieked at that, “Oh my god, shut up!” She threw a pillow at Rock’s head while the girl let out a cackle, “My friends were on my ass about that too, some friends they are.”

“Wait, you told your friends about that? Aren’t you friends with Nicky?”

Jan huffed, “Mama, more like I was forced to tell them. Jaida’s friend, Shea—whose apartment is next to ours, by the way—was complaining to her about how she couldn’t sleep last night because of, um, my tendency to be vocal.”

“You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Rotted bitch!” Jan threw another pillow at Rock, this time missing because the girl was doubled over in laughter, “I can’t believe you! The disrespect, really. I shouldn’t be taking this from you, I still have a shift to do at 3.”

“But you took it from me real good last night, so,” this time Rock shielded her face as Jan threw pillow after pillow at her, trying to speak through her laughter, “Okay, okay! I give, I give! I’m sorry, mom!”

“Bitch! I can be a top if I want to!” Jan exclaimed in mock offense. As their laughter subsided, the blonde suddenly had an idea, “Oh! What if I invite you over for dinner?”

Rock smirked, “One: we’re roommates. It’s not really inviting me to dinner if we eat in the same room. And two: I thought you said you weren’t looking for anything?”

“I mean dinner with my friends, gorg. All 11 of us eat together at least once a week, this time we’re gonna crash at Heidi, Jaida and Brita’s. Maybe you wanna come and meet them? I know you and Nicky know each other somehow, so it wouldn’t be too awkward, right?”

“Introducing me to the family already? Ain’t that a bit too early for you, Ms. Sport?”

“More like introducing you to a bunch of kindergartners,” Jan muttered as she checked her phone for any new notifications, “But yeah, I want them to know you as my roommate and friend , not as my roommate who I slept with.”

Bon Voy

dom top: okay so jans sex life aside

dom top: y’all are still coming over tonight?

sin city: yes girl!! college sucks ass sm i need to eat my feelings

c’est bon: wouldn’t miss it for the world mon ami xoxo

cox destroyer: I’m gonna be a little late! I just have to return and borrow some stuff in the library.

human girl: can we please order pizza hut <3

lebron essence hall: no <3

von du for two: we are going to order dominoes like civilized people

human girl: ugh fine, all of you have 0 taste

human girl: crys said yes btw she just has class right now

tap water: aiden said she’s gonna come too, she just can’t message the chat bc she’s still in her shift

Jan grinned at Brita’s message, finally getting the chance to steer the conversation away from her.

backpack backpack: So if she can’t message the chat because of her shift, why’s she messaging you, miss brittany filter?? 👀

Jan can feel Brita’s eye roll from miles away.

tap water: She speaks!

tap water: And don’t act like this conversation isn’t over, Miss Janice Sport. You have a lot of explaining to do.

“So, are ya gonna introduce me as your forbidden, but passionate lover? Whose romance was short-lived, yet wild, fiery and unforgettable?”

Now it was Jan’s turn to let out a cackle as she left Rock’s room, “More like my chaotic mess of a roommate who farted herself awake!”

This time it was Rock’s turn to gasp in offense, “That was one time and you fucking know it! And my answer is yes, by the way!”

Jan sent a message to the chat before grabbing her towel and putting her phone away to take a shower.

backpack backpack: oh btw i’m inviting rock to hang out with us!!! I promise she’s super fun and that we’re just roommates and see y’all soon please dont kill me or make it awkward with rock xxxx

tap water: are you

tap water: kidding me.

von du for two: oh for the love of GOD

***

[rowanelliis]

hey hi hello i’m SLATER ( they/them ), twenty-five, currently living my worst life on the left coast ( pst ). i bring to you my twitchy, lonely son, ROWAN. he’s a part-time antique lover, part-time dishwasher, full-time ghost whisperer. ( or something like that,, we’ll get to it later. ) he fills the alone ranger plot, and you can find his bio/questionnaire HERE  &&  some quick stats HERE. follow me under the cut for a TL;DR bio and wanted connections !! @phqextras​

oh hello again ! as promised, here is the summarized bio, bc i get that it’s long and you have shit to do. that said ! if possible, i would really love if you read THE BIO before/instead of this. it’s just,,, better. and better is better.  anyway, here we go !

rowan was born in pleasance to a 22 yo anita ellis and a father who bounced shortly thereafter, but we don’t care about him

he sees dead people! always has. they vary in shape from faded human to amorphous eldritch horror, and they’re supremely unhelpful. they mostly dont talk and the ones who do dont really answer what youre saying, they just say whatever they want. they moan a lot tho. its annoying. he hates them. kinda.

anita was a fraudulent fortuneteller and genuine psychic. she just knew stuff. rowan figures whatever he is, he got it from her.

he loves her sm guys. she was the mf BEST MOM. we’re talking blanket forts. we’re talking homemade stews. we’re talking going to alby’s to try on outrageous outfits they couldn’t afford and then shoplifting some little treasure to delight rowan with on the way out. the BEST.

when he was eleven, he spent an afternoon in the sequoia grove and when he got back he learned that to everyone else, hed been missing for five days

so that was a whole thing

following a years-long downward spiral of her mental health, anita showed up at rowans high school in the midst of a full-on psychotic episode. he was taken away by cps almost immediately and sent to a group home a couple towns over.

when he got back to pleasance at eighteen, she was gone. missing, not dead.

since then hes been devoted to the cause of finding her but its been eleven fucking years and no one else seems to care so he do get down abt it sometimes

his main theory is that it has something to do with the sequoia grove. he thinks that maybe whatever happened to him as a kid happened to her, but on a larger scale.

he currently lives in the house that he grew up in and that his grandparents built, a giant ugly thing that hasnt been updated in any way since the 70s

hes bad at holding a job. hes bad at feeding himself. hes bad at sleeping. hes bad at forming and maintaining relationships. basically, hes bad at being an adult human.

ok so maybe he doesnt see ghosts. maybe his mom wasnt psychic. maybe theyre just crazy. that is a possibility. but its also possible its true. you dont know. leave him alone

ok now the fun part ! here are some connections id like to see for rowan:

actual friends (one or two, three TOPS. hes a loner ok)

i honestly debated whether i wanted him to have any close friends at all but yknow what! hes been in this town for nearly 30 damn years he can treat himself to a friend or two. these would be people who believe him, or at least have an open mind. they could be from way back or more recently. just people he’s comfortable around, and maybe goes to specifically for comfort. he needs a lot more of that than he’s getting.

hookups (past or present)

i think hes kind of slutty?? not in any active kind of way, hes definitely not aggressive or even confident, but he’s so starved for affection that i think he’d have a hard time saying no to anyone offering it. his sexuality is Undeclared but Not Straight, so he’s up for grabs. he’s also weak for...... how do you say..... les milfs. i mean he would never use that word but it is what it is. mommy issues doesnt even begin to cover it. on a related note! if your character is on the amoral side of the spectrum, this guy would be wildly easy to manipulate. just like, brush his hair with your fingers or call him good or whatever. he’s Weak.

exes (maybe one serious, no more than a couple more casual)

here are some great reasons to dump rowan:

will not remember your birthday or anniversary or anything

obsessed w his mom

sometimes sleeps with his eyes open which is creepy as Fuck

usually broke

lives in that fucking house

kissed someone else at your birthday party bc they had really pretty eyes and were standing really close and kinda smiled at him and he got overwhelmed

routinely talks to the air, sometimes aggressively. thinks hes covert abt it. is not.

love interests (look im not actually into planning ships it just felt fair to rowan to balance this out a little)

here are some great reasons to date rowan:

will never, ever laugh at you or make you feel small

will give small, thoughtful gifts for no reason

cute floppy hair, doe eyes

once he feels safe with you, he will do anything for you, any time, forever

lives in that fucking house

you never knew a kiss could make you feel so wanted

maybe he’s special, you know? maybe he’s just something special

( ok that was gay ! now back to your regularly scheduled programming )

people who think he’s crazy (as many as possible tbh)

i know weve got a lot of believers here but honestly,,, even among believers i think hes kind of an outcast. the mf talks to himself. there are like 8 agreed upon stories around town and hes seen waaaaaay more ghosts than that. and non-belevers?? fuggedaboutit. i kinda see this as part of the reason he was rejected from the mystery gang. maybe someone it was like ‘ok im into checking this stuff out but that guys fucking nuts’. idk. what is life without struggle?? without conflict?? boring.

people who are using him for the story (whoever wants)

this could be a writer or reporter, but it could also just be someone whos interested in this kind of stuff. OR again, could be a non-believer who just thinks its entertaining to watch him. could be honest about their motives or straight up manipulating him into thinking theyre a friend or whatever. pretty open, i just think he would be a figure of interest to certain people.

someone who was present when his mom showed up at the high school (someones?)

this isn’t even a connection really so much as just A Thing I Want. i want someone who saw a tiny, angry-crying sixteen year old rowan drag his screaming mother down the hall of the science wing with their own two eyes. student, teacher, visiting alumni, parent or sibling who was at the school for some reason idk. maybe they pitied him and approached him later. maybe it was the thing that made someone decide hes a lost cause. it doesnt even have to ever come up. i just want someone to have that image in their brain. i want them to see it when they see what a mess he is now.

a final note! when rowan was a kid he was pretty open about the ghost stuff, mostly because his mom always believed him w/out question and he didn’t know it was something to hide. after the whole woods incident and the reaction of cps + the cops to his story, he learned to keep that shit to himself. unless he knows your character well, he probably wouldnt have discussed it w them directly. however! anyone around his age might remember the stuff he talked about as a kid or his mom showing up at the school (honestly that was dramatic enough the story may live on in the halls of nwhs today in some form or another). anyone around his moms age (40-50) might know how woo-y and sketchy she and her child were. there are certainly rumors about both of them. also, most people have probably seen him behaving strangely, ie. suddenly rerouting on the sidewalk to walk around what seems like nothing, telling something to fuck off under his breath, or just flitting his eyes over to a seemingly empty space over and over. he really does try to appear as normal as possible, but it’s difficult. i think most people see more than he knows, and more than he would like them to.

[lanajvmeson]

emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado

(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED.  (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.) 

HISTORY

their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.

for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition

(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster

her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again

delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse

she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3

(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it

(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.

(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.

delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....

PERSONALITY:

nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.

very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks

dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3

very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt

vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere

nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.

has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all

party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!

hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun

friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with

i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is 

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride 

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH 

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao 

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this 

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love 

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing. 

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao 

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand 

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way 

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky) 

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op) 

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?) 

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow 

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy 

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser 

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow. 

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy. 

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points) 

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much 

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny 

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye 

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further 

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess 

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title 

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny 

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro. 

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth 

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious 

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions) 

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did 

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless 

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY 

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh 

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e 

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY. 

til next timeeee

[bma-2020]

Ppl who deserve more attention bc they’re amazing and wonderful and geniuses and should be given all the love and attention, like what are you doing if youre not giving them attention, OC edition bc i’m gonna be here all day no matter what, it’s only 10 pm and i’ve only been awake the last three hours bc its c/omic c/on and ya girl cant chill ever, like at all, also one of these ppl can get a pop today at a hot t/opic if they wanna and slightly edit it to be his OC, at least I think, I don’t watch the show his fc stars in, brains been dead for a few hours but whos surprised.

@strxnzo here’s whats up, I’m Italian, only part, but I am and I’m made fun of for it constantly, but you know what’s awesome, Italian representation from someone good at everything, aka not A/riana G/rande, and that’s sophie. Sophie is fantastic, Eliza is incredible, i love you sm, you’re beautiful, you’re a beautiful writer, where is your own fanbase you should be more famous than H/BO

@gracemxrked You are so clever, you’re so passionate about everything you love and everything you do it’s absolutely beautiful. Your OCs are so clearly crafted from a realm of pure love and devotion to your art and it’s so inspiring and so beautiful and I adore you so much. You deserve the utmost world, your OCs deserve all of the attention, you’re so incredible and I love you. 

@aquamedic You have such an amazing level of creativity, it just flows through all of your body veins, all of your brain squiggles, you’re just pure creativity and it’s beautiful. Your muse is beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re super smart. For C/omic C/on one of the exclusive pops is I think of that one DC char the actor you use is one of them, i dont know 100% bc i dint remember the name but the look is similar i think i watch none of thr cw shows at all so im not 100% on it, it’s at H/ot T/opic, what I do is I get pops that look kind of like my muse and just say it’s my muse so if you do the same thing the option is right there now, it’s awesome, you’re awesome, you deserve nice things

@streetxcat You’re so incredible and so genius, I just I adore you so much. You n your twinny who is also tagged here somewhere probably right below you you’re just incredible, your relationship is goals worthy, like I love watching you two talk to each other, you’re so cute together and youre so creative and so clever, cat is such an amazing lil bab who has been through so much and bad things have happened to her but she’s so beautiful and wonderful and well written she deserves all the good things in life and everything, I owe you a reply n i love you so much 

@famebounded you’re so awesome, you’re just so smart and so clever, you’re so artistic, your drawing talent that I know you must have worked years to achieve because you’re so amazing at it is just you’re so amazing and you’ve done so well and continue to do so well, you’re able ot art and able to write and just so many amazing things all at once and like, I can kind of art and kind of write but you’re like amazing and can do everything amazingly and only ever get better everytime I actually read something on the dash which everyone knows I do like never but when I do and when its yours or anyone elses it’s just y’all are so talented and amazing like how do y’all exist being so talented and smart and amazing and incredible it just it must be tiring being so incredible idk how y’all do it and you’re so nice, I owe you a relpy over on pikachu too i know i’m so slow and awful but you deserve the best and i strive to give back the best, it was partially written this morning but lappy restarted so i’m sorry it’ll probably be posted friday because im awful but you’re amazing and i love you, you nad everyone elses here your passion is just incredible and amazing i love you

there are so many over amazing ocs i follow and wanna write with or do write with and honestly i feel really bad because at some point writing this i forgot every single persons name, but i do love you guys so much. i’m very heavily medicated at the moment and probably wont remember posting this but i just saw a few of you on my dash and was just so filled with adoration and love and adoration you’re just all so beautiful and amazing, i need to sleep soon cause i gotta drive over to fashion island tomorrow for c/omic c/on shopping cause its the only b&n near me that’s stocked and driving there is vaguely cheaper than ordering it online cause I get the in store discount that I dont get online since its my sisters acct, btu i just, i love you guys, im crying bc i llove you all so much, you all deserve only good amazing wonderful thinsg, lappy is freezing rn bc i’m trying to make screeencaps for someone and it hates my screencapping binges bc screencaps are so much space and i have so little space and always forget to empty the recycle bin before doing things, you’e all so wonderful and i love all of you and even if youre not mentioned i still love you you deserve great things always have good thoughts abt yourself and even in moments you dont just know youre amazing and wonderful and deserve good things and goodnight

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

*quietly continues talking & slowly doing shit instead of what I gotta be doing*

TFW you are so ever consumed w/ “god fuck this fuck everything omfg” tht u get consumed w/ chaos & mess & ur entire room is a hellscape & self is filled w/ mess & you continue to make terrible decisions bc fck imma do literally everything but this fck man

[hallelujuh]

hello yes i just finished lord of the flies (and then watched the 1963 movie immediately afterwards) & i rlly luv piggy so im gonna yell abt Just Piggy Things™ even if no one cares

piggy’s the first character we’re introduced to, after ralph ofc, so that means we’re supposed to get attached, and boy did i get attached..

ass-mar

the fact that he’s been called mean nicknames so long that his real name doesnt matter to him?? he doesnt care what hes called?? poor thing wtf??? hes like eleven hes too little for this

the Flashing Anime Glasses. especially the one w the fire when he starts laughing maniacally. same.

im talking about: “then he laughed so strangely that they were hushed, looking at the flash of his spectacles in astonishment.”

also: “’i got the conch,’ said piggy, in a hurt voice. ‘i got a right to speak.’” let him speak hes the only damn reasonable one. also stop hurting him hes been hurt enough goddamnit 

k but how much he loves ralph? and ralph is annoyed by him??? but then later he confides in him & cries over him & their friendship is my fav in the book so. they bond it just takes a while. but piggy was always good to ralph awe

“i was with him when he found the conch. i was with him before anyone else was.” he finally made a friend dont u take him from him ;-;

k speaking of the conch, in the first movie, his laugh when ralph’s blowing the horn for the first time??? aw??? a rare moment of joy in that sad ass movie?? 

‘63!film piggy is the sweetest & cutest i lob him. ‘90!film piggy was annoying as shit tho i refuse to talk about him.

in the ‘63!film when he puts his hands on his hips when jack says “shut up fatty” and then hides behind the tree when they all laugh at him.

god in the book it’s easy to forget theyre actual babies but with the movie u cant possibly forget and theyre so cute but defenseless it’s so sad

i kno these actors r like 70 or dead now but i wanna go back in time & give them a hug. especially piggy cuz hes a pouty chubby bub gOD IM SO SAD

one last note on the film before i get back to the book: the movie rlly encompassed how awkward i imagined piggy to be & i luv that. also his story time abt camberly was adorable + educational (for me, anyway)

how hurt he is when ralph tells the other boys his name, poor thing ugh :(

“’let him have the conch!’ shouted piggy. ‘let him have it!’” yes stand up for poor lil mulberry child

“piggy knelt by him, one hand on the great shell, listening and interpreting to the assembly.” hes so fuckin sweet??? hes like the mom of the island hes so nice to the littluns i luv him

and when he gets upset over the mulberry boy probably bein killed in the fire :’( hes the most sensible and the most empathetic of all the other boys. what a cinnamon roll. unproblematic fav. true neutral. 10/10. the best boy.

my second favorite line in the whole book: “then, with the martyred expression of a parent who has to keep up with the senseless ebullience of the children, he picked up the conch, turned toward the forest, and began to pick his way over the tumbled scar.” tired mama piggy lmao

he wants to make a sundial?? hes so smart aw

piggy thinking ralph’s patronizing smile was a friendly one :( :( he just wants a friendddd hes so naive & sweet im sadddd

i think it’s implied most of the other boys (particularly the choir boys & ralph) are from a nicer, more upper class part of england, &, despite his intelligence, piggy’s more lower class, judging by his cockney-esque accent (his use of ‘them’ instead of ‘those’, etc.) and also “piggy was an outsider, not only by accent, which did not matter…” idk why this is cute i dunno

“piggy arrived, out of breath and whimpering like a littlun.” me in pe. but also poor thing ;-;

“piggy sniveled and simon shushed him as though he had spoken too loudly in church.” i interpreted shushed as, like, consoled, more than, like, ‘quit crying, ya baby’, which was more what he was doing, but still…first of many cute piggy & simon interactions. i’d ship them but theyre like twelve so nah. but they cute as buddies

“this was too bitter for piggy, who forgot his timidity in the agony of his loss. he began to cry out, shrilly: ‘you and your blood, jack merridew! you and your hunting! we might have gone home-’” this hurts because if jack hadn’t gone hunting, they may have been rescued before simon or piggy died :( :( :( horrible vague foreshadowing

simon getting piggy’s glasses for him when jack throws em ;-;

simon giving his piece of meat (not a euphemism, goddamnit) to piggy.. god simons so sweet hes my second fav

“only, decided ralph as he faced the chief’s seat, i can’t think. not like piggy…he could go step by step inside that fat head of his, only piggy was no chief. but piggy, for all his ludicrous body, had brains.” why does ralph resent piggy sm. it’s like it psychically hurts him to compliment him, even just in his own head. jeez. just cuz someones fat doesnt mean they cant be smart?? the 50s were weird

“piggy came and stood outside the triangle. this indicated that he wished to listen, but would not speak; and piggy intended it as a gesture of disapproval.” aka ‘i’m mad at everyone so im gonna stand two feet away & glare at you all’ aw haha

when he tiptoes onto the triangle cuz hes done w his protesting ahaha aw

“piggy held out his hands for the conch but ralph shook his head.” idk i thought the mental image was cute. “gimme pls” “nuh uh”

what he says about the beast & life being scientific…me & piggy would be buds if he was real lmao

“ralph nodded to piggy. ‘go on. ask him.’ piggy knelt, holding the conch. ‘now then. what’s your name?’ the small boy twisted away into his tent. piggy turned helplessly to ralph..” honestly piggy & ralph are the mom & dad of the colony (jack being the asshole uncle) it’s so cute

“’that’s a clever beast,’ said piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’” sarcastic piggy is sarcastic

more sarcastic piggy earlier in the book: “you got your small fire all right” i lob him

indignant & shrill piggy… and his quote: “’what are we? humans? or animals? or savages?’” honestly lowkey want that tattooed

i fuckin hate jalph but admittedly jack’s jealous lil “’that’s right–favor piggy as you always do.’” is salty & gay lmao

the whole three blind mice convo…i luv

particular highlight in that scene: “’i’m scared of him,’ said piggy, ‘and that’s why i know him. if you’re scared of someone you hate him but you can’t stop thinking about him. you kid yourself he’s all right really, an’ then when you see him again; it’s like asthma an’ you can’t breathe. i tell you what. he hates you too, ralph—’” POOR BABYYY 

also “’i know about people. i know about me. and him. he can’t hurt you: but if you stand out of the way he’d hurt the next thing. and that’s me.” IN THE END ROGER’S THE ONE WHO HURTS HIM UGH :(

“’keep piggy out of danger.’” YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DIE

piggy holding his breath until his asthma acts up & then the boys just leave him??? what dicks

“jack cleared his throat and spoke in a queer, tight voice. ‘we mustn’t let anything happen to piggy, must we?’” AND THEN YOU LET HIM D I E U SALTY BITCH QUIT IT

“piggy put on his one glass and looked at ralph. ‘now you done it. you been rude about his hunters.’ ‘oh shut up!’” why dont more ppl ship them?? compared to jalph theres nothing??? theyre like a married couple it’s precious. like i said - mom & dad of the island.

piggy getting braver & being more of a leader once jack leaves!!! im proud of him!!

“he [simon] sought for help and sympathy and chose piggy” k the two most humane & sympathetic kids on the island, and the two doomed ones, gravitate towards each other & look out for each other & it so sadd

piggy being “so full of pride in his contribution to the good of society” he didnt deserve his fate he was so good im so sad

samneric & piggy making a little mini feast for them?? thats so cute??? 

also “piggy broke into noisy laughter and took more fruit. ‘he might be.’ he gulped his mouthful. ‘he’s cracked’.” piggy u get teased for bein different why would u tease simon (behind his back too) for bein diffrent u hypocrite. noisy laughter tho aw

piggy & ralph laying by the fire & talking…ralph didnt deserve piggy honestly he wasnt even grateful until the very end for such a good friend in such a horrible situation??? ugh

“when he understood how far ralph had gone toward accepting him he flushed pinkly with pride” see? good friendship. piggy just wanted a friend & to be considered valuable. and ralph finally started appreciating him

“piggy took off his glasses, stepped primly into the water, and then put them on again.” prim: stiffly formal and respectable; feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper. idk why this is funny to me

when he gets annoyed and starts slapping the water & yelling. temper tatrum lmao. dont blame him

“piggy stirred the sand under water and did not look at ralph. ‘p’raps we ought to go too.’ ralph looked at him quickly and piggy blushed. ‘i mean–to make sure nothing happens.’ ralph squirted water again.” they’re so fuckINGN CUTE

“piggy touched ralph’s wrist. ‘come away. there’s going to be trouble. and we’ve had our meat.’“ SO MUCH OF THIS STORY WOULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE OTHER BOYS ACTUALLY LISTENED TO PIGGY

“ralph sat down in the grass facing the chief’s seat and the conch. piggy knelt at his left, and for a long minute there was silence.” i luv their dynamic sm. ruler & adviser. no questions asked. ultimate loyalty. so good.

piggy trying to be all rational about simon while ralph freaks out…what a scene. also i luv how awkward their convo w samneric immediately after is

piggy wants to be rescued most and hes the one whos killed!!!! bullshit!!!! justice for piggy!!!

when ralph says piggy should write a letter to his auntie & he takes it serious & ralph laughs & piggy doesnt get it. awe.

the scene where they take his glasses ;-; u made my boi piggy hav an ass-mar attack u monsters,

PIGGY GETTIN ALL BADASS & DETERMINED & TALKING ABOUT WHAT HES GONNA TELL JACK 

“he held out the conch to piggy who flushed, this time with pride” and then “piggy sought in his mind for words to convey his passionate willingness to carry the conch against all odds.” the conch is the only constant on the island, the only dependable thing he has besides ralph, so hes so invested in it, hes pretty much deemed himself the caretaker of the conch, and it dies with him…

the scene where piggy reassures ralph & it says “the twins were examining ralph curiously, as though they were seeing him for the first time” is probably my fav scene in the entire book…it just really shows, in a couple of lines, the characters that ralph & piggy are, and what their relationship is like, and why they’re a partnership throughout the whole book. fantastic.

“’am i safe?’ quavered piggy. ‘i feel awful–’” fuckin foreshadowing, i hate it. imagine being practically blind on a cliff and then, minutes later, falling to your death. god it’s terrible.

piggy crying for ralph not to leave him actually hurts like psychically in my chest. him and simon were babies??? i know it’s fiction but kids are the sweetest things, not even fictional kids deserve to be killed so mercilessly??? im so fuckin sad

his last words…powerful and iconic.

i dont wanna talk about his death. im very sad

k ik it’s terrible but when he died his skull cracked open & his brain more or less fell out (”and stuff came out”, “with his empty head”), and thats p macabre but it’s also symbolic and genius bc when roger killed him he also took away the only thing he had going for him, the only thing that gave him superiority over the others - his intelligence. his brain. 

of course, have to end on: “ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called piggy.” cue me shutting the book, hugging it to my chest, and sobbing