#idk if I had a tag for these so shrug emoji

[heyymikki]

did i grow up according to plan?

LOCATION: Mikayla Beaumont's home MENTIONED: @elliottortegax @nikodimopoulos @hernando-valdez

It had been weeks since the news of Hernando's connection to Los Santos had gone public and the man in question had gone dark. There wasn't a day that had passed since then where she hadn't worried about him, but she had work and class to think about and couldn't completely abandon her responsibilities. In between those, though, she found herself spending more time with Niko, finding solace in his comforting presence and reassurances that Nando would be alright. Penny had spent more time at the B&B and if Mikayla hadn't known better, she would've thought her mother was avoiding her.

Saturday came and Mikayla finally pulled herself away from Niko's apartment, heading home just before lunchtime so she could get a few things done before work later that night. She hadn't expected her mother to be in the kitchen with a serious look on her face, and dread settled into the young woman's stomach.

"What is it?" she asked. "Have you heard from tio?"

Penelope shook her head, lips turning down in a frown. "Not yet, but I need to talk to you about something."

Mikayla took in her mother's face for a few silent moments, trying to judge what emotions she should expect, but it was a mask with no discernible feeling on display. She pulled out one of the stools at the kitchen island and took a seat, steeling herself.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room, the weight of everything left unsaid over decades bearing down on Penny's shoulders. This was a conversation she knew she'd have to have some day, but she had always feared her daughter's response to it. There had been opportunities over the years, times when Mikayla would ask questions about who her father was or how Penny had met him, but she'd always revealed the bare minimum in an effort to spare herself from reliving the trauma of finding out she'd been pregnant -- of being torn away from everything and nearly everyone she knew and loved -- but doing that wasn't fair to Mikayla or Elliott, something he'd so graciously reminded her of when she'd given him the news.

"Before we start," she said, voice barely above a whisper, "I need to ask for your forgiveness."

"Forgiveness?" Mikayla repeated, brows knitted in confusion. "Why would you need that?"

"Because I've been keeping something from you." Penny pulled her gaze away from the counter and looked at her daughter. "It's about your father."

Mikayla sat up straighter in her seat, curiosity piqued. A part of her had wondered if the woman had never revealed her paternity to her because the nature of her conception wasn't born out of a loving relationship, but she respected her mother too much to go behind her back to investigate on her own. She nodded once, a silent plea for Penny to continue.

Her mother took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing. "Elliott and I were best friends as kids. We did everything together, with your uncle Devon and our friend Nellie. Basically inseparable. But something changed when we got to high school... and we began to see each other without our parents knowing. Mine didn't approve of him or his family, so I had to keep the relationship a secret, which was easy enough until... until I found out I was pregnant with you." She shook her head some. "I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. Before I had a chance to tell anyone, they found the test in the trash. They were furious, especially when they found out who the father was, and before I knew it, we were moving across the country. I had no way to reach out to him once we were there. They monitored all of my phone time, and I couldn't send him a letter or anything. At one point, it became easier to forget instead of break my heart over and over again with the hope we'd be reunited someday."

The longer she spoke, the more tension fused into Mikayla's bones. "You've... known who he was this whole time?"

Penny nodded slowly, the fear of Mikayla's reaction growing alongside her daughter's emotions.

"Did he know about me?"

Penny nodded again, but added on quickly, "I left him a note before we left to tell him I was pregnant, but it was the only information I could give to him. If he ever discovered who you are outside of that, I don't know."

Mikayla took in a few deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm. "Why are you telling me now?"

"Because he's here. In Tonopah," she said. "And he wants to meet you."

In that moment, Mikayla's world flipped upside down. Not only had Penny kept his identity a secret from her throughout her entire life, but she had also failed to mention that he was somewhere in the town Mikayla had called home for the past three years. Had she seen him around town? Had they occupied the same space and had no idea that they were extensions of each other?

"How long has he been here?" Mikayla's voice was quiet, and Penny had to strain to hear her question, the one she'd been the most afraid of answering.

"He... he never left." She swallowed around a lump in her throat. "He's always lived here."

She was quiet. "Did you know that when I said I was coming here?"

"No, conejita," she responded quickly, walking around the island to wrap her daughter in a reassuring embrace, but Mikayla pulled away before she could, standing from her seat. "I swear I had no idea he never left. He ran a chain of hotels around the country, so I assumed h--"

"So you must've looked into him at some point if you know that. Did you ever try to reach out?" she asked, her voice rising with every new question.

Penny, trying not to show the hurt on her face, shook her head once more.

"He could have helped us, mami. When you got sick. H-he could have-- do you have any idea what I've done for yo--" Mikayla stopped herself, hand covering her mouth as the rush of hot tears that had been rising to the surface finally bubbled over and raced down her cheeks. She turned away from Penny, inhaling a shaking breath and forcing herself to be steady.

Penny had never put the responsibility of her care onto Mikayla's shoulders and never would have asked her to go to the extremes that she had done in order for her to receive the best care possible. She should have seen the signs, though: the long hours of 'studying' at a friend's house and coming home in the wee hours of the morning, the night terrors that kept her awake at night for fear she'd never be able to escape the next one, the sheer amount of money a barely legal teenager was bringing home at the end of every week. It would break her mother's heart to learn the truth about where all the money had come from, and Mikayla knew in her mind it wasn't fair to hold the choices she had made against her, but she mourned the life she could've had if Penny had just picked up the phone to call him and ask for help. She was the mother; she was supposed to be the one protecting Mikayla, not the other way around.

"M'ija," Penelope pleaded, placing her hand onto Mikayla's shoulder. Mikayla shrugged it off.

"Don't," she choked out, sniffling. "You should have told me sooner." She turned towards Penny, a harsh glare hidden amongst the pain in her eyes. "I gave up my childhood and put my life on hold for over a decade because you let your pride get in the way of asking for help. I don't know if I can forgive you for that."

Mikayla had never seen this look on her mother's face before, but it was unmistakable: heartbreak.

Any other time, for any other grievance she may have carried, she would have wrapped her mother up in her arms and apologized in that moment, but there was no way for her to moved past that feeling of betrayal that came with the knowledge she never would have had to go through everything she had if her father had just been allowed to be a part of her life.

"I don't want to be near you right now, so I'm going to stay with a friend for a few days." She walked past her mother towards the stairs. Thankfully, she didn't follow.

[ylissebian]

belated halloween comic for class 🦇❤️

[ghysry]

Hii! Idk if ur requests r open, I’m sorry if there not, but I had an idea :3

I’m kinda obsessed with Brisket Five…and all the diner fives. Srry if this makes u uncomfortable but maybe a smut with Brisket Five?? IF NOT just some nice fluff would be nice. Something like Brisket hasn’t seen us and we died in his time line or something-so he’s just all over reader <3 Ty!

ERMMM I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WRITE SMUT I AM SO SORRY

Pairings: Diner Fives, all obsessed with you, kisses everywhere, BRISKET FIVE *lick emoji* x Reader

Tags: brisket five, diner fives, Five Hargreeves, Five x reader, Five Hargreeves x reader, smut, can't even say this is smut, I swear I tried my best bro, did I forget SMUT

---------------------------------------------------

"Can't choose between us? Just choose all of us."

Well this certainly wasn't what you thought would happen after stepping into a random diner you found. You and Five had a fight about something stupid which led you to pettily step out of the subway and find yourself another place to go, which also proved your stupidity because only halfway off did you remember that it was a time subway and not a normal subway. Good god. Now you're here in the booth seat with your back on the cushion as you laid there and a Five that looks way cuter than the one you had a fight with kissing all over your face ranting about how much he's missed you.

"Mm..missed you, where have you," he kisses your right cheek, before trailing down to your jawline and pressing hefty kisses on your skin. "..been?" He had his legs on either side of you as you laid, making sure not to put too much weight on your body while one of his hands were messing with your hair and the other propping himself up. "Brisket Five are you done? Some of us want a turn, and I thought we agreed an hour per person?" Another Five in the background called out, folding his newspaper and rolling his eyes at the display of affection, knowing he himself would probably do something even worse, if not for all the people in the diner.

Brisket Five shrugged his shoulders, or tried his best to shrug his shoulders, before diving back in and pressing his nose on your neck, relishing in the familiar scent of your body. "Don't you ever die on me again.."

------------------------------------

Who knew so many of them would be into voyeurism?

"Fuck--huff...ugh," This Five was a lot more vocal than the others that came before him, and a lot needier too. His hands were touching all up on your body, squeezing your breasts and dipping down to bite at your skin while he was still pumping in and out of you.

Literally every Five needs you carnally, WHATTT WHO SAID THATTT

"Don't ruin them, it's my turn after you." While another Five is watching you go braindead over some cock, his hand on his crotch and pressing down on the bulge, hissing at how painfully hard he's gotten.

You cried so prettily while Brisket Five was deep inside you that he came twice in the span of thirty minutes. Literally can't help it, would cum ten times if he could, you're just so pretty.

You find it a weird turn on when some of them are so needy and untouched that they cum in minutes..which is almost all of them..WHOO WROTE THAT, THAT WASNT ME

Some of them huff and pant and whimper like dogs in heat. Confirmed.

"Missed you.." while Brisket Five is bottoming out inside you

Aftercare is literally HEAVENLY

Kisses all over your body, warm blanket for good measure, lots of "you did so well today", then being wiped clean by a wet towel

You're fed a whole lot of food after it's insane

Trust me. They'll do anything for you.

[hedgiwithapen]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @mosylufanfic

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Daydreamed a LOT. hated writing. Made up stories in my brain, mostly about Digimon. then, was Chronically Unsupervised for a summer and found Fanfiction.net and went oh heck, I could do that? I could just. write one down??? people would maybe like it?? and then I Did That. at this point I had, you see, decided I Liked Writing Now. (active choice, the way I recently decided that I Like Celery.)

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Uhhhh ok so there's Digimon (technically) and Fablehaven (again, only technically.) Big Hero 6 and then Flash, Young Justice, Supergirl, Stargirl, Avatar, the Librarians, Leverage, Blue Beetle(movie) My Adventures with Superman, Superman and Lois, Legends of Tomorrow, pokemon (game--sapphire) and Agents of Shield. And like. my various RPGs. but a lot of those are like.... just a couple dammit hedgi day ficlets so... shrug?

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction? the first one I ever posted on the internet was in I want to say 2007. but the first one I guess I ever like. actively came up with was a little booklet about an oddish and a jigglypuff escaping team rocket (they were the only pokemon I could draw) and that was back in like. '99. it had aproximately ten words in it so that's more of a fan comic than fanfiction.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more than I read, I think, but I read more than I finish, excuding the month of september. DHD is an outleir adn should not be counted.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I can do action and fight scenes now!!!! Also I think I'm better at dialog. I used to be real bad at both those things.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmmmmmm. I mean. I feel like the deep diving into victorian flower language maybe? or like. How Trial By Combat worked in the Age Of Knights? How many calories a kitten with superspeed would need, perhaps. oh wait you know what, it's absolutely more obscure catholic patron saints, which I hardly even used in the fics i was researching them for, but man. did y'all know that St. Jude is also called Thaddeus and that he and St. Bartholomew are co-patron saints of Armenia? there's some kind of Barth Allen and Thaddeus Thawne Joke in there.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I really like the key smashy "how dare you." ones. also a big fan of the ones where people leave their favorite line and a string of emojis. I love anything that lets me guess how emotional a person got.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

uhhhhh idk. metakitties?

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Long fics that drastically diverge from canon or are big AUs... I run out of roadmap and then worry no one's really going to care. also, just. ship fic in general. So I do not. or I do so rarely and in smaller sections.

10. What is the easiest type?

present tense introspective fics. those just flow.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I mostly use google docs, and I also do a lot of hand writing in a notebook. usually sitting at my little computer desk on my bed, or in the back hall at work, and typically in the afternoon-evening.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

ehhhhhhhh I'm not really like. intimidated by anything that I'm interested in doing? I'm just lazy. lol.

13. What made you choose your username?

Assigned Hedgehog by cubscouts when I was a counselor at a summer camp. It Stuck.

uhhh I tag @windona @pennflinn @wrencatte @thenarator and @parvumautomaton but no pressure but also anyone else who wants to do this.

[armafidelium]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

BASICS!

(PEN)NAME: ami / mika

PRONOUNS: she / they

ZODIAC SIGN: cancer.

TAKEN OR SINGLE: taken

THREE FACTS!

1 - i medically cannot work

2 - i studied graphic design and 2d character animation

3 - if i'm not sick to some degree it's a miracle

EXPERIENCE!

PLATFORMS USED: quizilla, youtube messages, msn, skype, deviantart, discord, tumblr, in-game ffxiv

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: more often i wing it and let music and muse take me where it does. i'm good with plotting for a basic idea/guideline but iffy on fully plotted from-start-to-finish simply bc of a bad experience. also love memes have had some great interactions that started from memes.

MUSE PREFERENCE!

GENDER: i've had a wide array of male and female and enby muses. idk which outweighs the other. it all just stems from love so shrug emoji.

MULTI OR SINGLE: it varies? but generally when multiship it's exclusive per character. only had more than one for a specific muse in a specific fandom. ngl all in all it depends on muse/dynamics/etc. just a big shrug emoji. phel woudl probs be on the multi side with exclusivity bc comfort.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): uhhh????? lmfao idk

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT!

FLUFF: i am a fluff gremlin who unintentionally picks muses who require a bit for fluff and i cry abt it all the time

ANGST: i call myself an angst gremlin for a reason. i used to be known for my angst in an old rpc and it was wonderful. tho i think my love for angst is very apparent w/ phel and if not just wait and see :^ )

SMUT: it depends???? i require comfort and familiarity to even consider writing it let alone i just feel a bit iffy about it in general. it can be fun when in a safe environment, but i've had awful experiences and that's why i require very specific environments. just all depends on comfort & muse tbh

tagged by: stole it.

tagging: you

[jenevawashere]

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats: how about no

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  I wanted Wanda Maximoff in the X-men movies. I had a vision for it and I might revisit it someday...

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6mwovYLQUxzDlP3bR1L5GS?si=baa885e9c42c4fc9

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? seven. It has become more enjoyably as my writing style has changed. I edit as I go because I write in chunks, then go back and edit when I hit a metaphorical wall.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis: ok! good luck decoding this shit: 📍🛑🔩👁️🍫

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? none of them are on here that I know of but Q and S. Maybe G depending on who...

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love: I have a whole list. So instead, here's a shit ton of my bookmarks. https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendofthePhoenix1234/bookmarks

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  5 in the main

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis: How do you tag on here? Seriously, not a joke I have yet to learn that skill.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? Original or existing characters.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before: I'm allergic to watermelon. No idea how the fuck that is possible but it happens.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? Short answer? Life. Long answer? Also life. And procrastination.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favorite ships or pairings: uhhhhhhhhh NEXT!

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? shit if I know. Just hang out and say hi every once in a while. If we share fandoms, then cool! *shrugs in idk*

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now: finally having a job, a few projects to switch through, and my cat.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? fic notes. See previous wip related question to try and figure that out

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character: I'm gonna have to come back to this one. Brain overloaded when this question came up

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? recently? (more on a personal level in terms of weirdness) a bunch of information on science related topics. I was the arts kid in a stem class so you can imagine how weird searching for that stuff is.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on: "Be the kool aid man."

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? My doctor who fics and literally anyone else that isn't me and has a much better understanding of the whoniverse.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity: there's no advice from me. It happens, sometimes for months on end and it sucks.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh: Oh boy! We have another list! "Burn it. Burn the jacket." "A fire? At the sea parks?!" "Hamburger (the H is silent in this context)" "Surprise harmonica" and I'm going to stop listing things now...

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? ANY! Seriously, even if it's a single emoji, please say something. Kudos can only do so much, and that's assuming I count them.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate: I just spent a good five minutes trying to remember what character I hate. I think I've blocked them out in all honesty.

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? I have the memory of a goldfish, you expect me to remember that?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately: I hate Hate HATE gathering basting stitches SO MUCH 

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? Music.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing: what you think is bad, someone else will think is good. What you think is good, someone else will think is bad.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? depends on a lot of factors here. Need more specifics.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here: *panics* Have 58 instead! *awkward jazz hands*

Lars had forgotten his keys at work. He had made it all the way to the door before he realized he couldn’t get into his flat - apartment according to Americans. He still called it the “wrong thing,” no matter how many times he was corrected. 

“Of fucking course.” He rolled his eyes as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? X-men fan. Jean Grey is a favorite. That's where all the Phoenix stuff in my original username came from. The one on here is a pseudonym.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them: I ask again. HOW DOES ONE TAG?

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them: Cat and no. You don't deserve picture of my baby floof.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it: ...am I allowed to say a whole book? If yes, then the Scarland Art Book that was literally just announced.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately? Stuff I don't like.

[firstprince-ao3feed]

ill still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky.

by moonyzstars Alex and Henry have had their twin foster daughters living with them for right about six months. They have quickly bonded and become their own loving little family. Henry and Alex aren’t quite sure when they had reached the official “dad” status, but they definitely are NOT complaining. OR 5 times Alex and Henry overhear their foster daughter call them Daddy and Papi. 1 time she calls them that to their face. OR A series of looks into Alex and Henry’s lives together as they decide to start a family together. Words: 5941, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 8 of oh darling, don’t you ever grow up. Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Original Child Character(s) Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: 5 + 1, Fluff, sooo much fluff, TOO PURE AND SWEET, Slice of Life, Okay I loved writing this, I love them as dads, and they love their girls SO MUCH, Parents Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Established Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Title from a Taylor Swift Song, no beta because idk how you make friends, -insert shrugging emoji here- via https://ift.tt/t4WoncP

[spacerockwriting]

Weekly tag wednesday!

Thank you Sky @skylerwinchester @dynamic-power @energievie @stocious

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?

I don't know??? Ya spacerock's got daddy issues.

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?

Giraffes! They're so derp I love them.

what is your Chinese takeout order?

Idk, i don't eat much chinese food. Like, hardly ever. I mostly just eat the fortune cookies they have there.

what's your favourite emoji? Uhh, I'm loving all the ones from the gallafic club.

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?

Home theater. Film major here. Love that idea. Also, we just ironically got a green house yesterday for my dads tree obsession.

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?

Hmmm. Rugrats maybe? Had a shit ton of rugrats dolls and a rugrats birthday party. Rugrats or Blues Clues probably.

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?

I've been a tumblerina for a while now. Since 11? Then in college I moved to an RP blog, with my main, and a LarryStylinson blog. Had that until mid2013 when Lance and I went to a different South Park RP, along with my main &Larry. Once we broke into Indie RP I created a few more South Park RP blogs, then once Lance passed I slowly stopped using the RP account we associated with each other. Made my HP RP in 2014 after SP shit was getting too cliquey, then just kind of sidebloged all my blogs from there for being lazy. Reattempts at SP RP had attempts, but nothing beats 2013 so -shrug- Nothing will ever beat 2012-13 where the community was there, Gallaclub is the only thing coming close <3

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself? Super dressy maybe? I do my best to wear whatever the fuck I want but I'm just, suits and shit aren't gonna be a thing I think. Except like, my wedding if that were to happen.

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?

Maybe South Park? Hogwarts, too, but lbr fuck JK.

what is your favourite piece of art?

Like ART ART? I like Van Gouh's starry night. My mom went to the interactive exhibit and I love that. (She's also got some starry night socks and stuff. Plus she had a shirt with a van on it that said van go.) I also like Andy Warhol's stuff? Also love seeing greek statues but forever anxious I'm gonna be a clumsy spacerock and knock them over.

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?

I've got a cup i bring to work that's Disney 100 and it changes color from blue to purple in the cold. It usually has mountain dew in it. Also I have a REAL waterbottle and its got Shibas on it and counts the level of water to 2 liters. But I hoard cups, always getting souvieneer cups bc im that person.

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave?

Found family is a quiet fav, and sometimes fluff. But mostly I want angst, I want plot.

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?

So I carry a bag for work, which has headphones, wallet, work badge, phone, some tangles, squishy giraffe, pens, 2 books: one notebook thing and Heartstopper Volume 4 is in it, and random junk that really needs to be removed lol. Outside of work I just wallet phone the end.

if you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?

Hmmm maybe Lip? Or Carl would be funny too, but the Lip and Mickey enemes would be funny.

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?

Hmmm. I dunno. AU's maybe?

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?

Yeah, if he tries to|has too. But it's very awkward and Ian gets a kick out of him trying.

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?

The OG? Probably Carl. But they all get a killing bat as a housewarming gift for the nostalia. Every house gets a Gallagher killing bat, even Fiona's house in Florida.

I'm a day late so tagging everyone else.

[wrdn-tabris]

the 13th iron battalion is ALWAYS ready to protect their tiny commander-

partly inspired by this @calkestisisbaby

[epithmia-moved]

       *  ❛        jjk au tidbits

     the  mikazuki  family  has  only  freshly  re-entered  into  the  sorcerer  world  ,    not  even  for  a  full  two  generations  worth  of  time  —  attributed  to  the  resurgence  of  the  bloodline’s  inherited  technique  ,    of  which  mana  does  not  possess  .

     in  it’s  stead  lies  death  of  the  self  —  an  innate  technique  which  functions  essentially  on  the  premise  of  schrodingers  cat  .    it  wears  away  the  mental  and  emotional  stability  of  most  under  its  influence  over  prolonged  periods  of  time  ,    where  minor  wounds  can  feel  fatal  and  fatal  wounds  can  feel  minor  (  or  everything  can  constantly  lie  as  excruciating  )  and  through  application  of  an  extension  technique,  weaker  minded  and  willed  opponents  tend  to  withstand  only  a  minimal  amount  of  time  .    subsequently  ,    mindless  (  or  exceptionally  low  intelligence  possessing  curses  )  do  not  have  the  required  cognitive  orientation  for  it  to  take  effect  .

     although  it’s  well  hidden  enough  fact  ,    per  usual  ,    it  can  be  found  out  that  mana  takes  jobs  on  the  elimination  of  people  and  curses  alike  without  discrimination  .    additionally  ,    and  conversely  a  more  public  fact  —  at  some  point  around  the  age  of  17  ,    an  event  takes  place  that  leads  to  the  excommunication  of  their  father  ,    and  subsequently  his  disappearance  ,    leaving  the  head  of  the  household  and  all  its  duties  to  mana  themself  .

     yuri  lowell  ,  @/vigilans  ,    since  childhood  has  been  a  member  of  the  mikazuki’s  .    adopted  at  an  exceptionally  young  age  by  mana’s  father  into  the  clan  when  mana  met  and  realized  that  he  too  ,    could  see  and  interact  with  curses  .    a  permanent  fixture  in  their  lives  that  both  of  them  truthfully  ,    do  not  care  for  —  nor  do  they  exorcise  curses  regularly  as  a  result  .

     their  innate  domain  is  rife  with  imagery  of  a  red  moon  set  over  a  transparent  sea  —    the  water  perfectly  reflects  the  sky  to  the  point  it  can  become  hard  to  tell  on  which  you  are  walking  —  merged  conflictingly  in  erratic  growths  of  fields  of  riverside  tall  grass  ,    cattails  ,    and  water  hyacinths  .    the  atmosphere  is  permeated  in  pale  ,    red  moonlight  and  the  stench  of  iron  (  in  which  you  find  that  perhaps  you  have  not  been  walking  in  water  at  all  ,    color  otherwise  indiscernible  )  and  half  submerged  among  the  perceived  ground  and  and  ripples  various  bodies  with  a  distinct  lack  of  features  .    limbs  contorted  ,    faces  that  are  blurred  out  and  come  to  and  fro  with  minimal  clarity  ,    lacking  both  in  recognizable  features  and  expression  .

[alienbrainwave]

To wear the crown of peace, 

you must wear the crown of thorns

Otherwise known as babies first art fight attack lmaooo

Wither belongs to @nedsseveredhead

[gumihoni]

i want to hurt you too

[oppressiveliberator]

🍼 babby gray delivery

Congratulations! You Are Now Responsible For Child Endangerment. 🍼 Give Ghetsis Babies.

Normally the Triad would be the ones to find anything on the doorstep, but this time Ghetsis. . .felt something off.  And so he looked out the door himself.

He hadn’t felt the Hero of Ideals--because she’d not yet been chosen in this tiny, wiggly form.  But something led him to the door anyway.  Nudging the little baby girl looking up at him with his cane to confirm to himself somewhat that she was real, he was struck with all manner of rushing thoughts.

Predominantly the most and loudest came down to simply

Kill her.

This little bitch would grow up to foil his plans.  If she died here, Zekrom may not choose her brother as its Hero--there wouldn’t be enough power in one Hero to match N’s own.  So without a hero of Ideals to challenge him, N wouldn’t change his mind.  N wouldn’t have had been swayed to disobedience.  Unova would be his.

Certainly, her brother would still exist.  And perhaps Zekrom would choose another pair to be heroes.  But what were the chances of anybody actually being able to carry out its will?  Of even finding the Dark Stone?  Of realizing that they both need to come together to be worthy of it or to be anywhere near the strength that would be needed to pose even a challenge to N?

Get rid of her before she causes you some more trouble.

This kid didn’t even know what was coming for her.  What life would do to her, what he would do to her when she was nowhere near old enough to undergo the misery and suffering she would.  Quite frankly, ending her pitiful little life here would be doing her a favor.

It was cold.  He could see his breath--her’s too--as he towered over her vulnerable form.  A raging fire in her eyes that he so desperately wanted to stomp out.  With her brother and her friend dead, with his son seeing to their merged dragons with the help of her's and her Pokémon, though his had been defeated and he could feel his plot shattering again, just as Zekrom could shatter Kyurem’s ice,

Nobody was there to stop him or save her, was there?

((CONTENT WARNINGS: Flashback, background death, violence, threat to a minor, traumatizing implications?, vomiting?  Ask to tag further if needed.  If you’re on mobile, there’s supposed to be a cut here.  Sorry if there isn’t.))

Just as Zekrom had shattered Kyurem’s ice and the icicles about the freezing cavern--but those shards hadn’t done nothing, and even Reshiram's fire couldn’t prevent all the damage from happening.

Not far off was her brother--impaled by one of many shattered icicles, and clearly unmoving--and the same seemed to have been said for their friend--surely dead, with ice having had struck him in the head--and then there was the poor little stormcloud who didn’t have the mercy of a quick end.  The loathing in her eyes likely did nothing to calm the pain must have been coming from her surely shattered leg.

Ghetsis had no intentions of helping--after all, what good had she done him!?

His mind was long gone from some sense of stability--all he felt was hatred, himself.  Hatred, anger, he'd killed her brother and he still hadn’t satisfied his need for vengeance on the pair of Heroes.  Disgust--though he dared not consider if it was for himself or for her--fear--a whirlwind of negative feeling that made him dizzy.

That made him giddy.

Ah, there was the fear--this was not a situation for him to be grinning in, not to her or to him--but there was still too much light in her.  Too much fire in her eyes--or perhaps too much lightning.  Either way, he was unsatisfied.  She had not suffered enough.  He had not done enough.

He had left his mark on Unova, surely--he would go down in history as its worst villain--but for her. . .no, even everything she’d suffered to get here and upon getting here wasn’t enough.

She screeched as he stamped down hard on her injured leg, feeling already broken bone shift and tear from his force.  But he was not done.

He should kill her, too.  But that would be too easy.

No, this bitch had done him far too dirty for that freedom.  He wanted her to suffer.  He wanted to leave a mark on this child that wouldn’t ever, ever go away, not from her mind or from her body, either.

He wanted to haunt this child’s nightmares for the rest of her miserable, pathetic, less-than-shit excuse for an existence.

He wasn’t done with her, not by a long shot--or at least, not for a few minutes while the Pokémon(N included) handled their own business.  He’d already lost, he knew, but the end hadn’t come yet.

He lifted his cane as he held her leg underfoot, as if it was going anywhere in its current state.  He was grinning, he was cackling, he considered that perhaps he should have disgusted himself sometimes, but pretty little Gray Nox deserved everything that was coming to her for the transgressions she committed against such a perfect being as himself.  She should not have gone and pissed him off, wronged him, ruined him, and then gone lying on the ground to leave herself at his mercy!  Especially not now, not when he had none for her or for Unova or for anything else in the world!

She was horrified, he could tell.  She was screaming more--and she didn’t even know what he had in store for her!  He was grinning, shaking, unable to identify how he felt or even much of what he was doing though he was fully in control of himself, and she, she was crying!  Like the little girl--no, little baby she--

She. . . .

He didn’t feel like he was grinning.  Shaking, wobbling yes, and nauseous--was that excitement or something else?--and dizzy and--

And she was a baby, crying on the doorstep to the place he hid away.  It was not nearly so cold here as it was in the cavern.  She was even more vulnerable and he had already lost just as he had back then, but. . .this was different still.

His grip on his cane loosened, and the staff was dropped, fortunately not at an angle that allowed Gray to be hurt.  He took a step back and stumbled against the doorframe.  He wasn’t laughing or excited or angry like he was in his memory, he was just. . . .

He wasn’t sure he felt much of anything, really.  Anything but sick and tired and weak as he dropped quickly to the floor.

What had been done had been done.  Killing this. . .anomaly in time and space, this tiny little version of somebody he both loathed and felt forever attached to--it wouldn’t change anything today.  Maybe it would change something in the future for himself in some world beyond this one.  But here it would do nothing to kill the would-be Hero of Ideals.  Out from his magic hiding place, Gray would still exist and the past would remain unchanged.  This was no sacrifice to Dialga or Celebi, and this would not make what was now different.  Only make the number of people he’d killed grow by one.

There was no reason to kill this child.

There was an unpleasant bubbling in his gut and a gurgle leaving his throat.  He wasn’t having another stroke, he’d’ve noticed that, but perhaps the memory had stressed his mind and body to sickness.“Help?”  He croaked back into the house, shuddering and heaving and coughing, before eventually vomiting, his body’s attempt at making whatever the bad feeling he was having go away.  Stupid human flesh bag didn’t even know how to care for itself.

Was Gray still crying?  He didn’t know.  His ears were ringing too loud.

The Triad had likely been there a decent amount of time, and he’d probably told them to bring Gray inside, to help him up, and blurs and dizziness and more vomiting later he was cleaned up and in bed again, his cane leaned against the wall.  Disoriented but not feeling quite as sick, he vaguely recalled that he must have asked for Gray to be brought to him, and he held out his arm to hold the now calmed little thing.  He was no longer radiating malice, so she must have no longer felt any particular fear.  Babies were not intelligent beings by a long shot.  Minutes ago he was about to kill her.

It still would have done nothing in the long run.

She was adjusted in his hold until she settled comfortably against his chest.

Killing her would do nothing. She likely wasn’t real, and so neither would keeping her.

But she would be of better use and worth if he considered the future, not the past.

Thought forward, not backwards. . . .

Right.  The end wasn’t there yet.  There was tomorrow and the rest of time following.

Whether she stuck around or not, he had to think about what he would do and not what he had done.  Giving up wasn’t something he bothered to do.

She would help him.  She was and would be too useful not to.

But that did not let her off the hook.

She would also pay.

[shiningstages]

@flovverworks | cont. from ( x )

     Oh dear, that sound of confusion was absolutely delightful~! A sense of accomplishment fills Lilia then, his fist going under his chin - though, what was the point if he was just floating midair like this? Well, it was his signature pose after all - besides the crossing of his arms over his chest, tilting his head to one side, maybe with one arm and hand up to point or gesture as he talked. He could do all of those things while floating upside down too, but maybe when he was a tiny bit more comfortable. Not that he was taking back his previous thought at all! Based on this reaction - and, oh, their genuine words right after, while being so confused yet so willing to help - it made Lilia look over this young person with amused endearment. This one wouldn’t hurt a fly, he thought. Reminded him of that ramshackle prefect, except that young person had a bit more sass to toy with. Here, however, this kind person could maybe be toyed with to a point before it got too harsh.

     It’s an analysis that, upon further sounds of intrigue coming from the wizard as they scanned them over, makes him flip upright. “ Oh, Central! Central to where, darling? ” Ah, here comes the crossing of the arms over his chest. He pretends to sit in the air too, one leg crossed on top of the other. A Magic Manor could be many things as well, though the interior feels most like the castle of the Queendom of Roses, though there’s no subtle floral scent to be found. Looking out the window shows nothing but dense woods, though it’s much too bright and far less thorny to be Briar Valley. Perhaps this was another magical institute entirely? Well, then what the hell is this ‘Sage’ nonsense; is he supposed to believe that this young person was a principal or teacher of some sort? An eyebrow quirks upwards, and with each thought either Lilia produces some amused hum, or his smirk twists or softens. 

     In the end, however, just hearing this tiny explanation won’t help at all. “ Oh, would you all really help me get home? You’re so kind, Sage. ” He supposes that’ll be what he calls them for now, though he would love to learn their name if time permitted it. “ I think it would be best for me to learn about where exactly I am though; hardly any of this feels familiar, and I’ll have you know I’ve traveled to many wonderful places. ” All the places in his world, or at least he thought so. Then again, by a long stretch of the imagination, this could be another world entirely…Well, he supposed he’d have to act cautious at some point then. For now, though, he’ll have his fun. He floats down until he’s just sitting next to the person now, gazing into their eyes with playful pleading mixed with the amusement that just can’t leave him. “ I’d love a tour or any history lesson you could offer up. That is, if you don’t mind~ ”

[rosewilsonworth]

I know this has nothing to do with the content I post but my country, Greece, is suffering from a big tragedy. Last night a big flood caused the death to at least 15 civilians so far. This flood also led to big destruction of properties and as for now the most affected districts have no electricity.

I know tumblr doesn't really care about Greece and other smaller countries. I know this post will probably get 14 notes but I ask you please if you could to reblog it to spread the word. Even 14 notes will mean that 14 more people will know and that's something. Because I believe this is something that needs attention.

If you're still reading, thank you!

Some official links:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/world-europe-41998374

http://abcnews.go.com/amp/International/wireStory/latest-death-floods-greek-capital-region-51160938

http://www.aljazeera.com/amp/news/2017/11/greece-deadly-floods-hit-athens-outskirts-171115150026326.html

Note: Since the time these articles were published, the death toll have been confirmed to 15 and still counting

[aspiedistra]

I Am Autistic

I was intending to message @butterflyinthewell​ about this, after reading their responses to an anti self-dx post, but as it happens, my reaction felt too strong, too personal, and too emotional to put that all on one person. So instead I was going to reblog the post and add this on, but it spilled out of all control, and now what we have is an essay of my experiences, triggered by an anti post and a few throwaway comments that have created this. 

Let’s call it an open letter to anti-self-dxers. 

Upfront, I am saying all of this as a self-diagnosed person, but this is my perspective on this topic. Maybe some of you feel like I don’t have the right to weigh in on this topic, but this is my blog, and these are my feelings regardless. 

I have seen the support from autistic people with pro-dx who have stood up and supported people like me, and I want to thank them for it, I appreciate that deeply, I do. And I understand the weight and meaning that their voices carry, perhaps more than mine. But I also want to make my voice heard. Because I will not allow myself to be silenced on this matter any longer. I have done that for 22 long years, and I’m not doing it for another fucking second. 

I am autistic.

At first I was going to quibble, I was going to question, I was going to ask the permission of those who have a professional diagnosis if they believed I was allowed to say that. But, quite frankly, fuck that.

I will call myself autistic. I will say that I am autistic. I will tag posts upon my blog as ‘actuallyautistic’ because this is who I am.

It took a very long time for me along the path of self diagnosis to have the courage to say those words, even to myself. At first I whispered them in my mind, something that was just for me, that no-one else would ever hear of or know. And I felt guilty. I felt guilty, even after months and months of intense, detailed, continual, literally daily research, and 22 years of experience, I felt guilty even whispering those words to myself.

I do not feel that way any more. I can say those words to myself now and I do not feel guilty. Instead I feel proud. I feel comforted. I feel right. Because I finally understand myself. I finally know who I am, after 22 years of hiding it, of hiding from it. I know who I am. And I am autistic. I finally belong.

I have no words to explain that emotion. I cannot tell you how it felt. It was not a sudden lightbulb moment. Oh, in many ways it was. In many ways, from the moment I heard the word ‘autistic’ something snagged in the back of my mind. Something whispered of familiarity, of a community, of a place where I might be understood, accepted, where I might feel at last like I fit.

But I was denied that lightbulb moment, because of ideas like this. I rejected that community, I rejected that rightness that I felt in my soul because I felt I had to earn this. I had to earn what I am. I had to be sure, I had to be certain, I had to do things properly*.

And I did. I researched. I researched every day. I looked up lists of traits and symptoms. I dug inside my self, more deeply than I had ever done. I began to piece together my fragmented reflection and constructed it around these ideas, these fabulous ideas, these words I now had to explain my experiences.

Social deficits.

Sensory sensitivities.

Meltdowns.

Shutdowns.

Stimming.

Each one felt like a friendly little wave, a gentle pull towards a place that already knew me, even if I did not yet know it. 

I read blog post after blog post by autistic people. I crawled through their tags. I read question after question after question sent to wonderful ask blogs. I listened to those voices, and I heard echoes of them within myself. And for the first time I made sense. The world made sense. My entire life, that had always seemed just slightly wrong made sense. 

Yet still it took time. In my heart, I knew I was autistic. I knew it, but I still couldn’t say it, still couldn’t acknowledge it. It was a secret, now. My secret. A secret I intended to carry with me and never let anyone else see or know. 

But that damages a person. There are countless posts about how being a closeted queer person is damaging to that person, how it is not a positive experience, how it scrapes away at a little more of you each day. And it does, from my perspective on being a closeted queer person, it absolutely does. But so does this. 

I slowly began to make my voice heard. I dared to whisper the words aloud to myself. I dared to allow myself to reblog a few, very general, very subtle posts about autism, the kind that any socially conscious allistic blogger might reblog. I began to say the words a little more firmly to myself, and with each repetition, they felt more right. 

Finally, months after I had reached that internal, unassailable conclusion within my heart that I was autistic, I felt able to say it, to truly say it. I told the people closest to me, and while there have been some negative reactions, some cases I wish I had never entrusted them with this knowledge of me, in the most part, they reacted well, and each time they did I felt like crying with the relief. Each time I felt more free. I felt more like me. And it was wonderful. 

That was my journey to being able to say those three words. ‘I am autistic.’ They are all I have, right now. And they mean the world to me. 

I do not have access to a professional diagnosis at the moment, for many reasons, and may not have access to one in the near future, either. But from my perspective, I AM autistic. My ability to consult a doctor and have this put down on paper right now does not, cannot, fundamentally change who I am.  I was autistic when I was born. I was autistic all those years growing up where I fell through the cracks, where bias and prejudice and ableism meant I was missed. I was autistic all those years bullying and abuse suppressed those traits and forced me to hide who I am, to the point that even I didn’t recognise it. I was autistic all the long months I struggled with myself to find the courage to say those words: I am autistic. 

I am autistic now. I will be autistic tomorrow. I will be autistic every day of my life.

This will not change if I some day manage to see a doctor and have them confirm this to me. I will not suddenly become autistic on that day. The truth of that statement will not suddenly become real only upon that day when a professional nods in agreement with the words that I bring to them, the knowledge I have carried with me all my life: ‘I am autistic.’ 

Maybe I’ll receive hate for making this post. Maybe I’ll even deserve it. But I do not believe that anyone has the right to define my experiences, or to deny me the words and the courage to speak them that were kept from me for too long simply because a professional has given them a formal confirmation of their experiences. 

This is long, and messy, and emotional, but the bottom line is that I don’t think a professional’s opinion defines or creates a fact. I am autistic is a simple statement. It is either true, or it is not. I do think that I should consider myself ‘allistic until proven autistic by a doctor’ because that feels ridiculous to me. That feels like the lie I believed for more than two decades due to internalised abelism and various other insidious factors. So, now you know my feelings on the matter. 

*I don’t think I should have to add this, but just in case: I do not believe in on-the-spot diagnosis, either self or professional. Brains are complex things, and they require a good bit of digging around in to wring the truth from them. Research is absolutely necessary, fuck knows I did a lot of it while working things out. Which I feel like any person who has self diagnosed and says ‘I am autistic’ knows and has done. But I thought I should just put a little footnote in here just in case.