#idk if I even have grounds to make a complaint but like who the fuck thought this would be a good idea

[under--pluto]

Really fucking cool of my work to use 2 photos of their fat staff members in the PSA about how it's important to be healthy and that two thirds of Aussies are overweight and that is BAD

[songmingisthighs]

Beefcake Raccoon

group : ateez

pairing : yeosang × reader (ft. boyfriend!jongho)

genre : smut

wc : 6.5 k

tw : mdni, explicit smut, unprotected sex, consensual sex, slight m × m (ofc between jongsang), fingering, cum tasting, dirty talk, cowgirl, creampie, mentions and description of jongho's junk, idk what else to tag here ngl

a/n : pt. 1 of an impulsive mini series with @bro-atz and @skteezcursed. pt. 2 and 3 will be added here once they drop! and yes, i call yeosang beefcake raccoon. how can i nawt when he looks like this ??? and yea i kinda went overboard with this because i had planned on writing 2.5-3k but here we are

a/a/n : it's 12.38 am and i'm sleepy and still sick as fuck and i had the sudden raging NEED to purchase all of the aniteez keyring. which i might do. idk if this is my manic episode making a comeback or me having impulse control issue

buy me coffee ?

beefcake raccoon | concrete bear | manwich

Yeosang isn't really one to butt into other people's business, not even when certain things affect him personally.

For example, he never really voiced out how much he didn't like the way Hongjoong would come into his room, steal his supplements, and just leave things a mess. Mind you, he has no problem with letting the older guy take a couple pills or tablets from what could only be described as a collector's mountain. Heck, he's a firm believer in sharing whatever they own especially with people Yeosang already thought of as family. He just didn't like the way Hongjoong tended to leave some of the bottles not properly screwed. He hates seeing things not properly screwed. So he would just take a breath and clean up after the captain.

Another example is when a tornado came barrelling in. And no, it's not a real tornado which would have probably been better. Yeosang didn't voice out his complaints when his best friend of almost a decade suddenly came by the dorm he shared with Yunho only to kick him out. "Yunho and I are in this small gaming tournament and we need to beat this son of a bitch," Wooyoung said as he set up his gaming stuff on the dining table with Yunho who stopped momentarily and furrowed his eyebrows at this frantic friend, "You do know punchpunch483 is 12 years old, right?" which resulted in Wooyoung glaring at him, "A punk is a punk no matter the age, I will not stand the disrespect that's why he and his guild are going down so deep in the ground he can say hi to his grandpa." At that point, Yeosang simply clocked out of the conversation, dejectedly resigning to the fact that he wasn't going to be able to just watch his show in his bed and fall asleep to it.

There were some conflicts in Yeosang's brain, however. One good thing about the dorm Wooyoung shared was the fact that he lives with a workaholic nomad and an introverted busybody. One bad thing about the dorm Wooyoung shared was the fact that said dorm is often occupied by a girl Yeosang has a crush on and that girl is dating one of his other best friends.

Yeosang considers Jongho to be one of the luckiest men to be alive to be dating you. You, who in his mind is the most adorable sweetheart of a human being to have ever lived. It wasn't like you were the most polite person what with the names you can throw towards people you dislike and mutter towards rude strangers and the screeching laugh you sometimes let out when someone told you a stupid joke. Everything about you seemed so charming in Yeosang's eyes even when you were being touchy with the friend he was oh so jealous of. Sometimes Yeosang wonders, in his existential crisis-ridden thoughts at 3 am, the chances of the two of you being in the same lifetime. He wouldn't say that he was in love with you, but he wouldn't deny that he would often daydream about what it would be like to be with you, to be the one kissing you and to be the one getting back hugs from you. Well, he wouldn't deny it to himself.

So another good thing about Wooyoung's dorm is probably the fact that he could see and interact with you. But one other bad thing is the fact that sometimes he felt like Jongho knew how he thinks about you and that unnerves him. So he tends to avoid moments where you and Jongho are together because he can never seem to control the longing expression on his face and Jongho would always send him a knowing look and he knew one day he would just crack like an egg under hydraulic pressure.

It seemed like his resolve wasn't faring any better because when he first came by the dorm, he saw you on top of Jongho's lap on the couch, kissing him all over his face and whining. He knew he should at least expect to be met with you and Jongho being all over each other, but maybe not to this extent. The sound of him coming in didn't seem to deter either of you from your... Activities.

Whatever dirty thoughts passed Yeosang's head were almost immediately pushed away however when he saw Jongho pushing you away from him gently and sighing, "I told you I can't do this tonight," he said which earned him a scoff from you, "You've been saying that for the past four days, Jongho and frankly I'm starting to can't do it anymore," you said before pushing yourself off of your boyfriend completely. "That is not even grammatical," Jongho chuckled and you only flipped him off before turning to retire to Jongho's room only to pause when you saw Yeosang.

Yeosang's heart skipped a beat when he saw your frown turn into a bright smile, squealing and hugging him tightly. "Raccoon!" You called out happily. Yeosang never knew why, but you had seemed to start calling him 'beefcake raccoon'. Well, you did explain that it was because he was, in your own words, 'beefy' and his hair for his latest comeback made him look like a raccoon so in a sense, your logic did make sense. What doesn't seem to make sense is how you only call him and your boyfriend with adorable yet odd animal names. To you, Jongho was your concrete bear and Yeosang was your beefcake raccoon which pissed Wooyoung and San off but maybe that's because San is a jealous cat and Wooyoung wanted to be called foxy mama and you scolded them for being so relentless.

Despite his nerves, Yeosang grinned and hugged you back gently, not being able to stop himself from inhaling the scent of your shampoo and enjoying your warmth against his body. "Hi (y/n), is something wrong?" Yeosang asked as you both pulled away. At the mention of something wrong, your frown returned and you snapped your head to glare at your boyfriend who was still just sitting there, smiling innocently as if he hadn't denied you sex for four days straight. "Oh something is very wrong but it's with your buddy Choi Jongho over there. I'm starting to think he's no longer turned on by me or by any vagina-owning creature on earth," you hissed. "Okay you can't say things like that because some animals also own vaginas and I'm not into bestiality," Jongho scolded. At that moment, Yeosang thought he should just go to Wooyoung's room because he felt like he was being dragged into people's business and as fun as it is talking about kinks that could possibly lead him to know yours, he was not about to delve into this particular discussion. Luckily, you threw your arms up in the air and turned to him again, "Seriously Yeosang, if you were Jongho, would you choose vocal recording over sex?" Yeosang's eyes widened and he almost blurted out that he would never choose anything over you but thankfully Jongho beat him into answering you, "I'm telling you, Hongjoong hyung has been riding my ass with this new demo and you know how he is when inspiration struck," Jongho tried to reason. With a roll of your eyes you walked away to Jongho's room but not before yelling out, "Well, at least something's riding you, you cocky bastard!"

Jongho seemed unbothered, chuckling by himself as he watched your figure retreat. "You're not following her?" Yeosang asked, looking back and forth between the couple. Jongho simply shook his head, "Nah, she needs time to just... Cool off and I need to resist the temptation because Hongjoong hyung will be pissed if I come into the studio tired and hoarse," Yeosang nodded in understanding because he does understand what Jongho meant, having been on the receiving end of Hongjoong's wrath in the past for being, in Hongjoong's words, unprofessional, unprepared, and unremarkably disrespectful to people's time. But still, Yeosang felt bad for you and he didn't like seeing you pissed like that which was shown by the way he stared in the direction you went to for quite some time before he excused himself to rest in Woyooung's room, missing the way Jongho was staring at him knowingly with a smug smirk on his face.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Yeosang thought that his involvement in your relationship with Jongho would end that night but when he woke up at 7 am the next day, he was met with the sight of Jongho's door open and as he passed the room, he saw Jongho tucking you in and stroking your hair and taking particular focus in the way his friend's shoulder drop when he sighed in disappointment.

Feeling like Jongho could use a moment, Yeosang just quietly tiptoed to the kitchen and helped himself to Wooyoung's stash of good coffee and started brewing.

Soon enough, Jongho showed up and sat down on the stool of the kitchen counter while opening his phone to check his text message, waiting for the manager to inform him that the car had arrived. Wordlessly, Yeosang poured himself and also Jongho a cup of coffee each. Jongho quietly thanked his older friend before sipping his cup in a slightly slumped position.

"Are you okay?" Yeosang asked, sensing something. Jongho sighed and nodded, "I feel bad for (y/n) for denying her sex and it's not like I don't want to, but I'm just not in the position to considering the state I would be in would not be conducive for recording and I really don't want to deal with Hongjoong hyung getting pissy at me," he sighed. Not knowing what else to say, Yeosand decided that he should at least be polite in this situation, "That's rough man, anything I can do?"

That particular question seemed to have turn a switch in Jongho's head because one moment he had a mopey look on his face, and the next, it was pure intrigue.

"You know what, hyung, I think there is something you can do," he said, finishing his coffee and straightening up. Sensing Jongho's resolve genuinely changing, Yeosang raised an eyebrow, "Okay? What can I do?" "Do you think you can accompany (y/n) and make sure she has all her needs met?" Jongho asked. The prospect of spending the day with you made Yeosang's eyes blink faster and heart beat harder. "S-sure, I guess. I have no schedules today so I can take her to wherever she wants," he ensured, clearing his throat when he felt like his tone showcased how excited he was even if it was only sightly. Jongho raised his eyebrows and smirked, realizing that Yeosang hadn't caught his drift, "You'll take her wherever she wants? What about taking her... However she wants?" Still not getting it, Yeosang nodded slowly, "Yes? I'll... Do whatever it is you want me to do to help your girlfriend feel better?"

Jongho couldn't believe how adorably innocent Yeosang was being. Knowing him for years, Jongho realized how some things could easily go over Yeosang's head by no fault of his own. He was just never introduced to the more scandalous side of life and it wasn't like he sought out information either.

Yeosang stared at Jongho in confusion as the younger chuckled and stood up, "Yes, that's... Correct in a sense I guess," Jongho then rounded the kitchen counter to stand in front of Yeosang. Jongho's phone buzzed and he momentarily checked the message he received before shoving his phone into his pocket, "But just to make sure both you and (y/n) get my point," All of a sudden, Jongho pulled Yeosang by his shirt and planted his lips on the older guy. Yeosang's eyes widened and his hands gripped the counter to regain control of his body because the impact from Jongho's sudden attack suddenly sent him reeling.

Initially, Yesoang was sent into a panicked and confused state because what the hell was Jongho doing? Why was he kissing him? What if you woke up and saw your boyfriend and one of his best friends kissing?

Correction, making out.

Somehow Jongho had managed to slip his tongue into Yeosang's mouth and at first, Yeosang wanted to protest and push him away. Heck, he had already gotten a hand on Jongho's shoulder but for some reason, he melted slightly into Jongho and as fucked up as it is, his mind drifted to thoughts that he knew he shouldn't be having. Those thoughts were mainly in the area of 'this is the tongue that had caressed and tasted (y/n)' and it got him hard faster than he cared to admit. The thought of you helped relax Yeosang slightly and before he realized it, he was kissing Jongho back with the same fervor which made Jongho unknowingly smirk, pleased that Yeosang was responding to him.

It wasn't until Jongho felt his phone buzzed again that he pulled away, realizing that he had to go. He couldn't even hide the satisfied look on his face when he saw how flushed Yeosang was after their little makeout session. For sure, you were going to like things just as much as he did should things go according to his plan. "Please give that to (y/n)," Jongho said all too simply as he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Still blear-eyed and slightly confused, Yeosang was trying hard to make his brain work. "W-what?" he managed out after he felt air filling back into his lungs. "Give that kiss to (y/n), the exact same way, please?" Jongho grinned, a little bit too happily.

Even with Jongho repeating himself, Yeosang was still trying to make sure of things, putting 2 and 2 was for him especially since he was practically mauled by Jongho. Seeing the state his friend was in, Jongho exhaled sharply and stood closer to Yeosang, "I am giving you full permission to do ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER it is my girlfriend wants you to do to satisfy her, okay? Starting with that kiss. Carte blanche, sky's your limit!" he then placed a hand on Yeosang's right shoulder and tilted his head, "Capische?" Just to make things more sexually confusing for Yeosang, Jongho smiled at him, showing off the gums that cleverly hid his perverted agenda.

"I- I- Capische, I guess?" Yeosang answered, kind of getting what Jongho expected off of him but also still in disbelief. "Awesome! Thanks hyung, I owe you this, I'll pay you back when I think of something, okay?" he said before leaving his friend with a pat on the chest and an extra squeeze that made Yeosang's eyes bulge out (and almost made him let out a sound but in fear of sounding like a car being honked, Yeosang somehow managed to keep the sound in. Things happened so fast all at once and it made him slightly dizzy. It was only 7 am and so many things already happened. Part of him thought that he was imagining things and that maybe he was still asleep and dreaming but he didn't even know where to justify himself dreaming about kissing his friend.

"Hey Sangie, what are you doing up so early?"

Yeosang snapped his focus back to reality at the sound of your voice but the blush returned to his cheeks when he saw you oh so casually walking your adorable self out of your boyfriend's room and trudging to sit down on one of the stools, right where your boyfriend had just set which effectively set his mind drifting to what had just happened.

"H-hey (y/n), morning! What are you doing up at 7 am?" he asked with nerves thickly laced in his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows and checked the clock on your phone before showing him the screen, "Sangie, it's 8.24," you pointed out. Yeosang had stood alone in the kitchen, so deep in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized that an hour had passed and that time had kept on going while he was making out with your boyfriend in the kitchen. So he turned his back on you after saying a simple 'oh', making it seem like he wasn't flustered by pouring you a cup of coffee before setting it in front of you and heading towards the couch to enjoy his now cold coffee.

For a moment, both you and he were silent, neither of you was sharing anything and just enjoying the silence and calmness of the atmosphere. Even when you moved to the couch when Yeosang turned the TV on, neither of you was conversing over anything substantial.

Well, until you brought up your boyfriend.

"Did Jongho say anything before he left this morning?"'

It was almost comical how Yeosang snapped his head in your direction and blinked twice. "I'm not quite sure but I think he mentioned Cate Blanchett?" You furrowed your eyebrows at his answer, "The lady who played Thor's older sister?" "Yes?" "You sound unsure..." you pointed out, crossing your arms on your chest and turning to look at him fully, "Tell me what Jongho told you and I know he told you something," you pressed.

Now Yeosang found himself between a hard and awkward place. The hard place is between his legs and the awkward place is the position of having to tell you that your boyfriend had practically told him to service you, who is his secret crush, should you request for him to. So he kept stammering, trying to find a way to tell you what he needed to tell you while you stared at him, making him even more nervous than he already was.

"I- I- Well, you see,"

Yeosang sat up straighter and shuffled closer to you, prompting you to do the same.

"W- we- I, Jongho and I, he-"

God, he wasn't even this nervous at his audition and frankly it was starting to annoy you.

"Just spit it out!"

"Fuck it,"

Before you know it, Yeosang pressed his lips on yours, his body no longer at the end of the couch but hovering above you with arms caging your head. The impact caused you to let out a sound of surprise as you were not expecting Yeosang to jump on you like that. There was a nagging voice in the back of your head that was screaming for you to push him away but there was another voice that spoke louder than the former voice. That voice belonged to your boyfriend and it came from the memory you had from earlier in the morning when he woke you up to tell you that he felt bad for disappointing you for the past four days and he was going to make it up to you. Then your brain tried to connect that memory with the text message your boyfriend sent to you, stating that his apology gift has been set up and you can claim it from Yeosang. Was this it?

"Jongho," Yeosang panted as he shifted his lips from yours down to your chin and jaw, "Left you a kiss," your eyes rolled back when he took your earlobe between his teeth and started nibbling, "With me, and he wanted me to deliver it for you," he finished before reconnecting your lips once again. You moaned into his mouth when he slipped his tongue and allowed your own to battle his for dominance.

The kiss was electrifying, breath-taking, and cunt clenching. You couldn't help but spread your legs wider so Yeosang could push your body completely flat on the couch. At this point, his crotch made in contact with yours and you could feel from your short sleeping shorts and his own sweatpants that he was long and hard. Another moan was sent into his mouth and the feeling of vibration made Yeosang grind his crotch onto you, taking it as the perfect moment to let you know the other part of the message.

"A-also," you whined when Yeosang pulled away slightly, resting his forehead on yours, "Jongho wanted me to... Satisfy all of your needs, however you want, wherever you want."

Looking into his eyes, you saw how his pupils were blown and the flush on his face made your heart burn slightly, realizing that he wanted you just as much as you wanted him at that moment. You were not sure if it was because of how needy you were from being denied sex for almost a week or if your teeny tiny crush on your boyfriend's friend was forced to bloom due to the circumstances. Of course, the circumstances are the fact that your boyfriend had allowed his friend to kiss and fuck you should you want to.

"So, Jongho told you to just kiss me or did he specify that you had to kiss me like that?" you teased, starting to relax and opening yourself up for Yeosang who had dropped his gaze from your eyes down to your lips. "He... Left me a kiss but what I gave you is partially from him but mostly from me," he muttered before he dove down to attach his lips to your neck. As he began sucking the sensitive skin, your body reacted automatically to him, your hands curled on the base strands of his hair as your heels hooked on the backs of thighs, allowing his crotch to press closer to yours. "Fuck, is this your way of telling me that you've been wanting to fuck me?" you moaned when his teeth grazed against your jugular, causing your cunt to clench and your spine to tingle. At that point, you were sure that you were soaked but you couldn't be too sure because the warmth pressing on your crotch could Yeosang's body warmth. "No, this is me telling you I didn't like to see you so disappointed because Jongho, your boyfriend, has been denying you sex so I want to help you feel better." As he spoke, you felt his hands creep up to the waistband of your shorts and your breath hitched in both anticipation and excitement, wanting to see just how much you both could go with the fact that you've already gotten your boyfriend's approval in the bag. Toying with the band whilst simultaneously teasing the skin underneath, Yeosang looked up at you with eyes full of hope and desire, "Can I help you feel better?"

It didn't take you long to nod, giving him the confirmation to proceed which he happily obliged by pulling your bottoms so hard he ripped your panties slightly. Yeosang misunderstood the widening of your eyes as a bad thing and he immediately cringed, apologizing profusely as he told you he felt bad and that he would buy you a new pair. So it surprised him when you pulled his face up and hungrily kissed him. "That was so hot, Yeosang, I'm totally okay with that," you said breathlessly, starting to grind your now bare cunt onto his crotch, delighting yourself at the feeling of something hard pushing back against your needy clit. "Jongho has been the only person to be able to do that and fuck did he make such a good decision entrusting you," you whimpered, pulling on Yeosang's bottom lip needily.

Hearing the way you talked about him made Yeosang's heart soar and he suddenly felt the need to show you just how much exactly he had been thinking about you and pleasing you. Confidently, Yeosang pressed two of his fingers against your pussy, effectively trapping your clit between his two digits. His eyes never left your face, enjoying the ecstasy-ridden look on your face as you threw your head back whilst a high-pitched gasp escaped your lips. Wanting to see that expression again, Yeosang began massaging your clit between his two fingers whilst adding more stimulation by moving his fingers up and down. The pleasure was starting to build in you slowly but surely, adding the fact that it was Yesoang who was giving you pleasure and your mind was sent to a pleasure-induced haze. Had it not been for Yeosang's body between your legs, you would have successfully clamped your legs shut.

A shaky breath left Yeosang's lips when he noticed you reacting positively towards his ministration. To the people who would not understand, they would say Yeosang was weird for reading into your reaction so much but how can Yeosang start to describe how much he loved seeing the way your hips rolled onto his hands? Seeing you seeking more of his touch was a whole other level of satisfaction that Yeosang never even knew existed until he saw it with his own eyes. Between your face and glistening cunt, Yeosang couldn't choose which part he liked best. Then again, he had yet to have the chance to feel his aching cock nesting inside your core so he'd have to reserve his decision for after you came on him.

The dynamic of your expression was beyond anything Yeosang could explain because once his fingers slipped inside you, your face contorted to showcase even more of your ecstasy. "You like that, princess?" Yeosang teased as he curled his fingers inside you, caressing the sensitive walls ever so gently that caused your cunt to leak more arousal and your body to shake from the pleasure. "Fuck yes, I do! Jongho, God bless his physique, is chunky and big but so is his fingers but you, Yeosang- Fuck! You and your damn long fingers are reaching so deep inside me- fuck!" you whined, hips rising as Yeosang's finger pulled all the way out only to slam them back in, revelling in how slick you were when they felt your juices staining his palm. "Long, huh? So... Why do you call me a beefcake?" Yeosang teased, lowering himself closer to your cunt which surprisingly made you a bit shy as seen from the way you tried to close your legs. Of course, Yeosang wouldn't let that happen so he used his upper body strength and directed it to his palms, forcing your legs to stay open and not even caring that your stream of slick was trickling down on the couch. "Excuse you, Yeosang, you're not just a beefcake, you're MY beefcake raccoon," you scoffed as you maintained eye contact with Yeosang in faux confidence, oblivious that your stance was being betrayed by your quivering pupils and blush. "Yours, huh? Is that what I am?" Yeosang tried to bite back the grin on his lips as best he could but it was futile as he couldn't even hide the way his hips grind onto your shin when he heard you referring to him as yours. "I don't know about you but fuck, I love the sound of that," he said shakily before diving down to lick a fat stripe from your drenched hole up to nibble on your clit.

That was the last straw. The teasing, the sexual frustration, and seeing Yeosang between your legs had fucked up your brain so much that all you wanted was him.

Sitting up slightly, you somehow managed to pull Yeosang up by the collar of his shirt and push him so he was the one on his back. The frantic movement of your hands pulling Yeosang's sweatpants and underwear paired with the manic, almost crazed look on your face was absolutely thrilling. "I need you inside me Yeosang, please, I want you to fill me up with cock and cum so bad, I need it now!" you whimpered, pussy drenching the fabric of his thigh so embarrassingly bad that it caused Yeosang's cock to twitch as it was released from its confines.

"Use me then, after all, that's why I'm here."

It was the last confirmation you need before you all too easily slip his cock inside of your cunt. For a moment, the both of you only revelled at the feeling of each other for the first time. Yesoang was enjoying how warm you were and how much he liked the sharp contrast between the cool air and your warm core, the sudden change forced the air to be knocked out of his lungs and his eyes to roll to the back of his head. You, on the other hand, were struggling with the fact that Yeosang was reaching inside you so deep that your legs were starting to shake. As crude as it seemed, your immediate reaction was to notice the difference between him and Jongho. It wasn't like you were ranking or making a pros and cons list in your head, you were just noticing how different they pleasured you. Jongho was definitely shorter but girthier, it was always a struggle to take him in as he filled you up almost immediately and even once you got used to the feeling of fullness, you still struggled to move your own body so usually, Jongho would do the work. But Yeosang, he was slimmer but definitely longer, something you didn't take into consideration on the first impact as once he was sheathed inside of you completely, you felt his tip kissing your cervix and it was a new feeling that you had yet to be accustomed to. Whether it was due to his size or the pool you had created down there, you found yourself able to move on your own a lot easier and that made your brain go fuzzy.

Once you both got used to the novelty of feeling each other so intimately, you began fucking yourself on Yeosang's cock. Right off the bat, you were moving so vigorously and Yeosang could only stare with a slacked jaw. "Fuck, Yeosang your cock is hitting me so deep!" you whined, throwing your head back from the feeling and clenching down on him. Yeosang never had much of a comparison material as he was never one to seek out physical relations so often. But even then he knew that the level of pleasure he was experiencing was only achievable because he was getting it from you. Yeosang had to grip your hips to ground him back to reality because he was sure that if he hadn't, he would've definitely thought that he was dreaming. But the feeling of you grounding yourself on top of him was surely something his brain couldn't manipulate no matter how much he tried. And when you changed you changed your position, his brain went haywire. You initially had your knees on either side of his hips and the sight of you rubbing your needy cunt on him was something he could never forget. But then you paused to prop your legs by bending your knees and leaning back with your hands on his muscular thighs. The feeling of Yeosang's flexing muscles beneath your fingers honestly made your cunt clench and weep slightly and Yeosang couldn't help but take note of it.

The very moment you got settled in your new position, you immediately started bouncing yourself on top of Yeosang, impaling yourself multiple times on his cock. If your rhythm was vigorous before, this was... Maniacal. You were jackhammering yourself like a crazed person trying to seek relief. As sick as it was, for some reason, Yeosang loved the way you were basically using his cock for your own release as if he was a toy that you oh so graciously choose to relieve the building ache and need from being denied by your own boyfriend. Your stamina was proof of your desperate need to get sexual release and the way you showcased it could only be described by him as an art performance. "Shit, you're so hot," Yeosang hissed on a particular snap of your hips, squeezing the soft flesh of your ass before his right hand travelled up to your (Jongho's) shirt and grabbing the bottom as he pulled them up to reveal your torso, "Bite this for me please, baby, I wanna see your body, I NEED to see your body," he whimpered, his finger caressing your chin as he tuck the bottom part of your shirt between your teeth. You bit back a grin when he called you baby, feeling giddy all of a sudden but you tried to play it cool. He let out a shuddered breath when he noticed you weren't wearing any bra and frankly, he couldn't help but think about how lucky Jongho was to be able to feel you pressing up to him every night if he wanted to. You moaned and clenched down on him, "Fuck, I didn't peg you for a tits man, Yeosang," you teased but took a moment to tweak your left nipple, "Do you like my tits?" you asked, purposefully moaning and rolling your hips. "No," he huffed as he placed his right hand on your crotch, thumb pressed on your clit which caused you to jolt slightly "I like you," he smirked cheekily.

The confession was rather surprising but you noticed it made your stomach to flutter. Egged by his profession, you started fucking yourself on Yeosang's cock again, this time, the stimulation from his thumb on your clit made your movements harsher but messier. Neither of you could speak clearly, not that you wanted to, you were enjoying the sounds Yeosang was making and he was in a trance as he stared at the way your pussy was swallowing his cock whole. "Greedy baby," he hissed, finally finding the ability to snap his hips back to meet yours, "Taking my cock so good, making sure I'd remember your pussy always." The impact from his hips successfully made your footing falter as you found your right leg slipping and your body tumbling forward, your bare chest met Yeosang's clothed one.

"Fuck me, you got some talented hips there," you giggled, immediately adjusting your thrusts to the new position and enjoying the friction of his shirt on your tits. Moaning, Yeosang held you tight with one arm as the one that was on your clit moved to his face, "Nothing you couldn't escape from your beefcake raccoon, right?" he smirked while licking your arousal clean from his fingers.

With a sharp exhale from you, you planted your lips back onto him, tasting yourself on his tongue before moving your hips even faster. You were thankful that your boyfriend had forced you to ride his thighs so much that you had somehow gained the core strength to ride Yeosang like a champion. "Y-Yeosang, fuck- I'm close!" you whimpered against his mouth, your movements getting sloppy as the tension in your cunt increased, now trying its best to reach climax. Yeosang nodded at your admission, hands moving to hold you by your thighs so that you would still be wide open for him. "I'll make you cum, (y/n), don't worry," he pecked your lips before dropping his forehead on your shoulder, "I'll make sure you're satisfied."

Your hands found purchase on the armrest behind Yeosang and on his shoulder, trying to hold onto your sanity that was being torn apart by each thrust Yeosang delivered. Your head fell slack and your eyebrows furrowed as you felt your climax at the tip of your tongue. Yeosang was trying his best to get you to cum and with the way your walls were hugging him in a vice, he knew it wouldn't take long to push you over the edge. "Y-yeosang!" you whined, your hips now stilling as you reached your climax with a shake of your body from how intense it felt. Yeosang held your legs open for him and his hips never stopped, allowing you to ride out your high while also trying to reach his own.

Though you were induced into a pleasure state, you were still thinking about Yeosang and fuck if there was not one thing in your mind.

"In me, Yeosang, finish in me! I need to be filled!" You managed out, practically begging to be stuffed as how your boyfriend usually would. Though it was Yeosang fucking you, you couldn't help but let the thought of both he and Jongho filling you up with their cum flash through. The mere thought sent shivers down your spine and your hips to suddenly roll.

Yeosang was trying his best to not lose control because Jongho hadn't said anything about allowing him to cum inside you. "A-are you su-re, (y/n)? I can just- fuck, I can just jerk myself off," he assured you. But you whined and started peppering kisses along his jawline, "Please fill me up, Yeosang, you said you- ah! You had to please me, right?" you pouted.

A grunt rumbled through Yeosang's chest and without much complaint, he began thrusting into you in shorter but more precise movements. The overstimulation was trying to get you but you tried your best to hold on by distracting yourself. Your left hand found purchase on Yeosang's right peck and your fingers automatically squeeze the soft flesh and your fingers toy the stiff peaks with each movement.

As it turns out, that seemed to set off Yeosang because suddenly he held your body flush against him and you felt his cum filling you up in spurts as his cock twitched inside you. The sensation made you let out a low hum and your head rolled to nest on the crook of Yeosang's neck.

For a moment, you both could only lay there, resting on each other as you tried to catch your breath. Your haze was dwindling down into a daydream and your body was adjusting so you could rest after the session you just had. Though you had Yeosang under you, you couldn't help but think of your boyfriend and how after this, you're going to need to thank him. But when Yeosang readjusted his position so that his head was resting against the armrest and your head was on his pecks, your thoughts shifted. You propped your arms on Yeosang's chest and your chin on them, smiling up at him, "What got you grinning?" Yeosang asked but he was returning your smile with his. You shrugged, "Not sure, maybe it was post-orgasm bliss," and you wanted to add that it could also be the fact that he had just confessed that he liked you in the middle of sex but you didn't want to make things awkward so you kept that little jewel to yourself.

"So," Yeosang cleared his throat, "Are you feeling happy and satisfied now?" he asked, suddenly remembering the task his friend had given him. You pursed your lips, momentarily thinking of an answer before a mischievous glint past your eyes. "I think... Not quite," you replied, your legs suddenly caging Yeosang's hips which effectively rubbed his softened cock the right way as seen from the way it was starting to twitch back to life. Taking the hint, Yeosang's tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip in hunger.

"Well, I did promise your boyfriend that I would do anything to make you happy, didn't I? We'll just have to keep doing it until you're completely... Satisfied."

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread

[soup-du-silence]

(I'm so sorry if this ends up being sent twice, the first time got a bad request error :'D) Top 3 favourite cards from twst? Be it for the art, vignette, clothing, etc!

jhsflaskhdh sooooo okay I've only been playing since november! so there are a lot of cards I've missed/havent even seen because....idk there's a lot of them and sure, I've gone and looked at my faves to see whats available but there's a lot of characters I haven't bothered looking at and

basically welcome to the kalim al-asim appreciation hour lmao

Jamil is actually my favorite boy, but I think a lot of his cards are kind of mid, and it's probably because he's one of the (many) characters they try to make, like, seductive looking, and. That doesn't really do much for me lol. I don't like Jamil because he's sexy, I like him because he always seems like he's one personal inconvenience away from killing everyone in this room and then himself. Objectively he's gorgeous but I actually like his live2D better than I like a lot of his cards, if that makes sense! (I actually had a laugh about his applepom card when it was announced because what are you DOING you doofus get off the GROUND you look like a FOOL!! The groovy is cute tho so it's fine haha)

And Kalim is not really a sexy-type character! He's just a plucky, fun-lovin' guy here to have a good time! That's usually the kind of character I gravitate to, so his cards are superior to me. (My top three boys are Jamil, Kalim and Ruggie, so Jamil is really the outlier haha)

anyway:

Pop music club Kalim!

Obviously since I just started playing, I missed this one and I'm devastated about it. All the pop music club cards are GREAT because their little battle sprites music the enemy to death and that's just amazing, but Kalim gets a grunge look and that seems made for me, specifically, because loving flannel is a native trait for my specific breed of lesbian. Combat boots too??? Thank you. I wish these cards had vignettes, I want to know who dressed him. (It was Cater.)

Tsumsitter Kalim!

Okay primarily I like the ungroovied version of this one (actually?? I usually tend to like the ungroovied versions better most of the time) because he is SO cute in it? His face?? Is adorable??? (Yknow how I said I like Jamil's Live2D better than his card art? Kalim ALWAYS looks more like Himself to me in card art and I dont think his Live2D ever really does him justice.) I have the same complaint everyone else does about the groovy, in that the lighting is weird and it makes them look unnecessarily pale. Otherwise it's alright! The TsumTsum events are very stupid but also very charming.

Playful Dress Kalim!

God I can't wait until we get this event in EN asfdskf at least I didn't miss playful land!!! They could give my man a break from the dropped-crotch pants now and then but otherwise this look is amazing.

Honorable mention to all of Ortho's cards, they all fuck unnecessarily, all the swimwear cards are a lot of fun (I also want this event in EN, it also looks stupid but charming), and I'm making one concession for Jamil's Birthday Jacket Groovy, it was his birthday and they let him commit one murder, as a treat, go off king, you deserve it (rip sebek):

[descendinginto-madness]

Some more Welt rambles because he lives in my head rent free

Contains spoilers for his hi3 lore?? Himeko's too ig but these are more just implications than anything else

If you think i mischaracterized him or something i wrote here really doesn't fit him pls bear with me I'm just a silly little person writing silly little rambles about some fictional grandpa idk HAHAH but! Let's move on now because oooooooh

First of all. Something that I enjoy picturing with my oc (because obviously i put them on the Express what did u expect) but can work with the MC, Dan Heng or March 7th as well because he's the trio's dad I don't make the rules. Like... Welt being a protective father figure for them but not just in a "please take care of yourself" way (though that too, obviously, especially when he sees one of them clearly sleep deprived again) but also in a "you mess with my child and I'm gonna fuck you up" way; like letting some of his HI3 attitude slip through again. Like maybe one of the trio is badly wounded in battle and he immediately jumps to shield them, obviously with his own body, and he's ready to attack whoever or whatever hurt them. Maybe he sees one of them being attacked, or about to be, and he joins the battle like "hands off of my child." (Honestly that line lives in my head rent free as well idk why it's just so father figure.)

Dan Heng mentions in his voice line about Welt that he doesn't pry. And yes, he doesn't; even when he's worried, he only asks if everything's alright, or if they want to talk about something. But when someone comes up to him, he's more than happy to provide support - whether it's some actual advice or just a simple hug, or just someone who will sit and listen to all of the rambles and complaints without judging. He's happy that the trio relies on him and trusts him, even if he has moments where he feels so responsible for them that it's overwhelming. But he would probably protect the Astral Express crew with his life; and if it meant sacrificing himself to make sure they would be safe, he would do it.

Speaking of hugs, I also think he really likes them? I think he would like physical contact in general, even though he probably wouldn't admit it. A part of the reason may be the fact that he lost his body at least once from what I remember (Second Eruption manga from HI3) and even if (iirc) it was part of the plan, and something he knew may happen, I don't believe he wasn't affected by it. Physical contact helps him ground himself - but then again, he also won't say anything if he needs comfort or anything like that. He pretty much refuses to show vulnerability in front of the crew - after all, they rely on him so much! So he thinks he can't show it when he's feeling lost or just... Not having a good time in general. The only exception is probably Himeko, though even when he's alone with her showing vulnerability doesn't come easily to him. Of course he wants to protect her as well - maybe even feels doubly responsible for her in this universe, considering what happened to her in HI3.

To sum this up, I just think his self-sacrifice issues from HI3 are still there in HSR even if a bit toned down, and in a somewhat different form, and also he refuses to ask for help ever.

Also I am normal about him. :3

[p8567899754nhu]

sakura making fun of naruto for being an orphan is B.S.

sakura never made fun of naruto for being an orphan . yeah thats it . no matter how much naruto dude-bro's may lament over it she never did it. i mean their sakura hate is so comical they keep inventing weird shit to back it up , but here are the panels from the manga for reference:

she is not "making fun" of naruto in either of these panels though she says a bunch of stuff-

"naruto was badly brought up"

-im sorry ? do you object to this? do you think naruto was not badly bought up? idk what to even say here, when usually naruto wankers' lament over how sad were the conditions in which naruto was bought up and how hiruzen is a trashy caretaker , also notice how sasuke doesnt care when she says that and continues to walk past

"how he always comes between us"

um.. considering the shit naruto was just doing(beating sasuke , tying him up, and then fcking trying to kiss sakura disguised as sasuke!! ) and before that (sitting on desk and glaring at sasuke because sakura likes him and he is popular) i dont think sakura's complaint is very misplaced , and it could be that he might have done similar shit prior to this

"dont you envy him for being alone, not having parents to nag at you all time"

This is somewhat insensitive and not to naruto , who isn't even present at the moment but to sasuke because she is ASKING sasuke if he envies naruto because his parents dead .sakura saying to sasuke (indirectly) that lack of family is something one should feel good about and is lucky for .(although compared to the shit naruto and kakashi and even lee give sasuke on his clan in particular this is something that is indirect and somewhat subtle and is not intended to berate sasuke in anyway )

P.S.: she is not a psycho who wants her parents dead or anything she wants to be alone and to not have her parents nag at her or ground her

but I never saw this as delinquent or unsual behaviour from sakura's POV, because sakura is a normal 13 year old !!

it would make perfect sense for a teen to want to be alone , to be rebellious, and to not want your parents tell you how to do everything!

especially since kishimoto wanted sakura to be a charechter that is relatable to young girls

however post time skip sakura's views have on family seemed to have changed a bit when she asks sasori "what is family to you?!"

i really really cant understand how psychos of naruto fandom would give a pass to-no askchually WORSHIP charechters like Itachi (who is a fucking remorseless genocidaire!) and hate this girl , i made a post before but it seems its a lot of misogyny acting up, aint it - for she not only rejects naruto(which is a big sin in itself) , she HATES him , and doesnt coddle him (most of the time-although there are moments when she does), she doesnt give two hoots about him a lot of the time and is fangirling on sasuke -oh the misery!! - arent these reasons enough to take petty things about her and constrew them as though they were on a whole different league of evil .

"he doesnt have to answer to anyone, its made him selfish, if i did something similar, id be grounded for life"

well.. sakura's speculation on why naruto is selfish is sort of misplaced but somewhat makes sense comparing to the shit naruto has done up to now i dont think she is wrong in calling him selfish -he does what he wants without giving a damn about anyone else ,that is selfish -isnt that what he did just now, he beat sasuke, tied him up and went to kiss sakura without giving 2 hoots bout either one of them, and got no consequences for it ! if sakura wouldve attempted something similar then she would've been punished severely by her parents, who would perhaps also make sure that something like this never happened again. - is there something wrong in what she said here ? i dont quite understand...

To sum up everything , all she says is :

1. Naruto is badly brought up

2. He does fucked up shit because he's badly bought up

3. He has no one to watch over so he does selfish things

4. Sakura wishes she could do a lot if the things naruto does and is envious at how far he can go without getting reprimanded

[viktormaru]

reasons why i hate zed comic

starting with the personalities, they did shen REAL dirty by making him impulsive and violent when hes the literal opposite of that as trying to be the Eye of Twilight (whose whole thing is suppressing emotions), and it just feels bad to see him like that for, what riot hsa excused as, ~something cooler to see for the audience as a comic media~

Like, I get that his appeal is actually that hes struggling with it, but in the comic it just looks like hes stupid, and not someone who`s been at it for years now bcs hes desperate to fill in his father's shoes bcs its what he thinks he HAS to do...

AND THEN ZED.... DEAR GOD ZED..... Zed used to be this counterpoint to tradionalism with a maquiavelic twist to it. Bcs the context of his desires was Noxus invading Ionia and the kinkou doing NOTHING TO HELP bcs itd go against their teachings... like zed decides that a search for power no matter what is justified if in the end it protects his interests, like his homeland. And thats what made the whole friends to enemies arc from shen and zed so cool bcs with how poorly Shen's dad handled the Jhin fiasco as well... They get eachother, Shen kinda agrees with zed maybe, but he cant commit to that idea at all, he looks for answers in tradionalism

BUT BY MAKING IT SO ZED NEVER REALLY BETRAYED THE KINKOU ORDER AND WAS ACTUALLY JUST OBEYING SHEN'S DAD BCS THAT OLD FUCK WENT COO COO CRAY CRAY IT TAKES AWAY ALL OF ZED AGENCY AND MOTIVATIONS, HES JUST A GUY FOLLOWING ORDER WITH NO GUUUUUUUTSSSSSSSSSSSSS

like no morals no ideals nothign hes just doing what shens dad wants until he thinks even shens dad is not doing it right and kills him, but its too little too late!! zed is completely hollow

its soooo baaad.... cause the little short story of them uniting (which the comic FUCKING RUINS btw) is sooo cool and interesting and tense.... like shen and zed feel like two halves of a whole, or like there cant be one without the other in how they act or see the world idk idk

and jhin is the source of their trauma and the final nail that connects them truly, so if they can find common ground there....

but naah the comic is just weird and exhagerated just bcs its marvel I guess??? NOT to mention!! the sudden constant need for them to be like "ur my bro bro ur like the brotherst brother i have ever brothered bro" and shen gets a wife??? that zed FUCKS SO SHE WONT MARRY HIM??? OR SOMETHING BCS HE DOESNT CARE ABT HER thats gay as shit whats up with the bro thing then (this is half a joke btw (i would reread the comic to make my complaints clearer but i hate it so bad i cant do it by myself) )

and pulling the bro thing in the same comic of having kayn and akali flirt, I have to gag

theres a few snipets of their childhoos together which are cute i guess

and zed is shown to be a good master to kayn, more aking to a father even, which i really love and am glad is canon, but the rest, just put in the trash

the jhins looked fantastic though hes so silly i love him im hitting him nonstop with my flip flops

Oh and they confirmed shen was a red head which was something i advocated for super hard for so long before the comic came out i felt like it was amde for me

edit: also many of the panels looked ugly as shit

[jakowskis]

Day 23 - Discuss Tosh. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

tosh my babygirl my princess light of my life angel darling… shes so good. shes so good 🥺 i love her dearly. she’s so damn underutilized i hate how the show regulates her to a supporting role + only uses her for romantic plots. WACK shes so much more than that. i want a plotline about her cyberterrorism like hello??? i want a plotline about her warped little mind.. i want a plotline about her finally learning spanish ;-; that show did not do her justice and it did not deserve her. i often say torchwood’s characters are too good for the show; tosh is probs the best example of that. no other character gets screwed over as badly as she does by the narrative (not even ianto!) she’s so tragic and lonely i just wanna give her the biggest hug ever. 

fav moment… every time she smiles. (or smirks. hrgh. tosh call me.) also every time she geeks out about smth. im tryna think of a specific moment but idk if i have one?? i just love her overall i smile every time she’s on screen she’s my girlie. when i rewatch i might rmr one though

least favorite moment, the absolute only thing i can think of (hell, my only complaint with her as a character other than i wish she’d get over owen cuz bad taste queen pls u deserve sm better) - it’s always bothered me how she goes over to owen’s flat in aditd and just starts babbling about her own problems. she even says something like “you think everything’s about you”, and in that ep it’s like ??? why are they all acting like he’s unjustified being miserable and angry when he's fucking dead?? like they're all so unsympathetic and mean, even tosh, and out of her it's especially weird?? tbh it just strikes me as ooc (+ kind of misogynistic highkey) writing. i mean, by all means, let tosh bitch, she deserves to blow off some steam + esp deserves to be rude to owen tbh fhsdkjfsd, but the way it’s done in that particular moment feels ooc and, like, how men write women as talking too much and never listening lmao u kno what i mean (owen’s tuned out in the actual episode but you can see her full ramble in the original script, on page 23). tosh has never troubled anyone with her issues before, why would she choose now to, and when she knows owen’s struggling? yeah, on second thought, i don’t hold that against her actually, that’s ooc to me fhdkf. thts just the writer being a wiener.

my only unpopular opinions (slash hot takes) are that 1) towen fucking SUCKS get her away from him, and 2) most people like tosh but she’s highkey underappreciated, esp in fanfic, because of fandom racism + misogyny. she’s not bashed like gwen is but she’s ignored completely which is nearly as bad, and a lot of it’s cuz she happens to be in a show with two white men in a gay relationship who are overwhelmingly prioritized 💀 i will never not be petty about the way that ship dwarfs everything else in comparison. also throwing towen into the background of janto is so gross n cheap. if ppl cared abt her they'd do smth more interesting. and it's never well-done either. ugh.

i have a few hcs that are gonna end up in my owento verse (gwen and tosh are prominent characters in it bc i love them, and their relationships w owen and ianto and each other also have value lawl). tbh a lot of em are just things i think they should introduce into their lives to be happier. i want them happy ;-;

she starts coding video games recreationally!! nothing fancy but she rlly enjoys it + also gets into the swing of making little storylines n getting to express herself that way which is good for her. owen playtests shit for her

her and gwen go on spa dates sometimes. they put it on the torchwood credit card

she gets into fish tanks and fish tank care!!! esp like aquarium plants. shrimp and moss balls, that sort of thing. maybe plecos or loaches. she loves it + it’s grounding, which is good for her bc shes otherwise always got her head in her computers yanno. she’ll sit by her tank while she codes her games and the water sounds are calming. 

she also sits by it while she studies her spanish books which she does finally do. she doesn’t get around to the piano, though; doesn’t prioritize buying a keyboard. maybe one day (this is a nobody dies au btw so she will in fact eventually get around to it ;-;)

oh she’s autistic have i said that. the fish tanks absolutely become a spin. she has a few we know of from canon - math and computers, obviously, but also history (gbg) and the uk’s rivers (from gooseberry; i think it was just the uk maybe it was europe’s rivers. or the world’s! i don’t remember). she also loves trivia like she knows a fair amount about quite a lot of things + loves accumulating random info

lowkey also. giving her a kitty. i think tosh should have a lil fuzzy kitty to keep her company 

well this is smth from my owandy verse but i think it should happen anyway. so it kind of kicks off bc gwen mixes up a blind date (it was gonna be tosh & andy and then owen & a friend of hers, but shes an adhd icon n bungles the invites <3)... tosh ends up with gwen’s friend, who’s straight, but they hit it off and she invites tosh to have drinks or maybe come to a bookclub meet or something with some friends of hers?? point is, tosh makes some casual friends. maybe meets a pretty girl there or smth 👁️ but mainly i want tosh to have girl friends like i think she grew up very lonely i want her to have some normalcy

also sometimes i like tosh x andy maybe they have a little meet cute at a torchwood crime scene or smth fshdkfd. i think they’d be cute and he’d treat her well. she'd babble abt tech stuff and he wouldnt understand a damn word but he'd listen very intently

i also like tosh x ianto for similar reasons. i think it’d be a kind of friends to lovers sitch... they should just be close in general tbh, platonically or not yanno, and in my owandy verse i like the idea of smth kicking off between them i just think theyd be so sweet

she’s a very sleepy drunk and also a lightweight. if the team goes out to drink she’ll get two glasses of smth moderately fruity and then fall asleep against someone’s shoulder it’s very cute (this is just cuz i like the idea of a sleepy tosh 🥺 my baby my baby shes so precious to meee)

[bitterblackberry]

EUGHHH SIMS MAKING ME CRAZY

i made a sim who has their orientation stuff as follows:

interested in exploring romantically: no

romantic interests: none

woohoo interests: women

because i wanted to play an alloaro sim. BUT THEY CANT FLIRT ? AT ALL?? LIKE IT LITERALLY DOESNT LET YOU USE THE OPTION EUGHHHH. okay for one. my two sims here are SUPPOSED to be like life partners kinda deal and so i want to have access to options like “look deeply into eyes” “hold hands” and “embrace” but i just CANT do them shaking and slamming my head against my desk. i feel like EA never actually bothers to understand queer stuff they put in the game

1. those fuck ugly pride clothes

2. even though we’re allowed to put any clothes on any sim regardless of frame - EA still hasnt bothered to make anything actually *look good* on the opposite frame to what it was made for. like great my masculine frame sim can wear a skirt - but its going to clip weird and fit awkwardly

3. i have so many complaints about the binders and top scars oh my god. okay for one, your “female frame” sims HAVE to have tiddies - they can be small but they HAVE to have them. so this means no top scars on female frame sims but like? what about people who get surgery but don’t idk start t? like its so limiting. ALSO the binders suckass the texture is kind of ugly and theyre completely useless. they SHOULD be an accessory that your sim can wear under their clothes because when are you ever JUST wearing a binder?? like with regular undergarments i get it because people sleep in those - but with binders it makes no sense. they SHOULD actually compress your sims chest too like it literally does nothing. i was so excited to have a sim that like actually binds and like they have the binder on during most outfits but not for like sleep right idk itd just feel more like me in the game.

4. the pronoun update: its actually just grammatically incorrect. like the basic they/them preset option isnt implemented properly so the sentences will be wrong sometimes

5. i cant marry my sims without a romantic relationship um i dont want to do that let them have a wedding and be best friends and look deeply into each others eyes

kills EA

in trying to be “inclusive” they just keep making everything more and more binary so in the end they keep trying to force queer experiences into a system that was built from the ground up as allocisheteronormative. i know they wont do it but if they actually want queer sims in their game theyd need to rebuild CAS and the relationship system from the ground up. in this case the exclusion of queer people other than allocis gays at the launch of ts4 isnt a bandaid fix problem.

[khamomile-kitty]

Long ass rant abt tumblr under the cut lmao I’m feeling pissy and I need to get this out

Deadass thinking abt just. Filing away or screenshotting anything important in my blog (likes, reblogs, etc) and then just. Deleting and never coming back lmao. Staff are clearly so far up their own ass they make a donut and I think the only way to get their head back out is to blow their brains out tbh. I mean they are racists, terfs/transphobes, amd neo nazis (or at the very least do nothing to stop them, and well. You know what they say abt sitting at a table w a hate group.)

Amd then there’s the issue that even if they were none of that, they run the site like children. Constant tantrums when they don’t get 100% overwhelmingly positive feedback, outright ignoring or hiding critique of any kind, and make constant little “non-updates” to give the impression of progress when all they’re doing is the equivalent of a kid pretending to clean up their room by picking and putting down a toy and squeaking floorboards when they think mom’s listening.

Like idk who told these guys that trying to make a “cool guy” persona and attempting to facilitate a parasocial relationship w their userbase meant that they were gonna unconditionally get the entire site to turn into yes men to slobber all over every stolen merch drop isn’t gonna work the way they want it to. They SUPPOSEDLY run a professional social media company, there’s gonna be ppl not satisfied with crumbs. And there’s gonna be ppl who are rude abt it or aren’t happy no matter what! It’s a fucking huge website that’s just gonna happen! Taking those criticisms personally and shutting down is a sure sign that they cannot run a large platform effectively At All. Part of being able to run a social media website is being able to accurately sort through feedback to find major issues, and prioritize fixing them from order of importance and feasibility. For example. Getting a bunch of complaints that you have, idk, a huge and thriving nazi community on the site that openly targets ppl? Set that on number 1 priority and get to work updating site policy and community guidelines to clearly reflect that they are not welcome here, and set a team of moderators (who should have already been alerted to the issue) to crack down on deleting and banning blogs that align or display with that shit. (There is the company issue of making sure that the moderation team has sufficient support for all the horrible shit they’ll have to sift through, compensating w company paid for mental health services available during all work hours. But tbh, every single social media site needs to do this. Moderation is exhausting and can be traumatizing. Make sure to make those conditions clear, and to hire enough moderators that no team has to work on sorting through heinous, traumatizing shit for more than they should.) Get a a bunch of complaints that the search bar is a few inches lower than it was last update and it’s throwing them off? Set that priority lower, but communicate clearly in update logs that it is low on priority lists for now, and not to expect an immediate change. I could give at least 100 more “hypothetical” issues and how to at least give the bare minimum at dealing with them. Getting complaints that the new ads are seizure hazards? Prioritize high. Getting complaints that ppl would like the ability to have animated blog backgrounds? Prioritize lower. Experimental or new features can begin to be implemented when there isn’t a leaning tower of stinking shit threatening to rot the website from the ground out. Hire enough ppl to be able separate significant work into teams; new features and bug fixes team, moderation team, networking team, etc. I’m sure if they read this they’d have a thousand excuses for why they don’t do this, but I highly, highly doubt any of them actually hold up. The fact is that it’s common sense, and Tumblr seems to exclusively hire ppl who don’t have that. And sadly, there’s no fucking fix for stupid. And I’d rather not be caught off guard when this place inevitably goes up in flames and eats it’s own code like an ouroboros snake.

[thegeminisage]

i really hate to be critical of zelda at all - i don't consume it in the way i would for example s*pernatural - where i am mad half the time and constantly throwing shit at the writers. zelda is like, My Happy Place. and i especially don't want to feel at all critical of a new game prior to playing it or before i finish it for the first time. i wanna do the first time in complete & total bliss as god intended. THAT BEING SAID...

it actually is kind of making me miss botw!! sorry!!!

firstly, the next time i hear someone say "totk is just botw but better" i am going to bite their face off. botw and totk do take place in the same hyrule, but they are completely separate games. i'm actually shocked at how many mechanics from botw don't exist in totk - the champion abilities have been changed, bombs work differently, there's no stasis or cryonis, etc etc

and ALL of the sheikah stuff has been straight up wiped out of the game as well, which changes a lot of the vibe. i know people really didn't like the divine beasts overall, but the totk dungeons are just the same thing with a different aesthetic, and it's really missing the like...they're BEASTS, you know? they move around. they're haunted. they got ghosts in em. for all the claims that totk is darker, it actually feels way more optimistic, because everyone always comes together to solve problems (which i LOVE i am not criticizing that choice!! but it is wildly different than in botw)

i complained a little at the time about botw's memories all taking place in the past, and there being no real story set in the present-day, but actually, after playing totk...it almost worked better that way! don't get me wrong, i love that this game is fuller and there's more going on, i'm absolutely going nuts over the story so far, but it felt like there was really not any "wrong" order to see the botw memories in, whereas the totk memories feel much more like there IS a right order, even if that order is nonlinear.

and like my absolute number one complaint re botw was the map. it's a perfect map, and it was a blast to explore, but now that i've seen it i feel like i've seen it. you know?? like when i replayed botw some of the joy was lost, because they designed it specifically so that the joy IS in exploration, and i explored it all already. i didn't 100% my first file, on the wii u, but after i 100%ed it on the switch, i had 100%ed it. and yeah like parts of this map are different (so far the biggest difference is in death mountain imo), and yes they've added caves and sky islands and the depths, but the caves and sky islands are tiny compared to the rest of the world, and the depths are the depths.

idk, like i know part of this is because i got about 70% of the way through the story and ground myself to a halt so i could do deep exploration re: shrines, seeds, etc to get stronger (the game gets harder every time you beat a dungeon and i am having my ass kicked constantly). and like what i'm exploring is the surface, which has remained the same in many places, especially the remote places one finds korok seeds. korok seeds are definitely the least fun you can have playing zelda, even if it still is a zelda game and a good time. but it is suuuch a bummer to for example like climb to the top of gutcheck rock and find it uninhabited or see kass's house standing empty. (his ass better be in some DLC.) the map wasn't made for totk, it was made for botw, and they did do a great job but in just a few places it's still an ill fit.

AND FINALLY, it is really annoying how people don't know link - the scrubbed sheikah stuff - like all these changes made specifically not to alienate people who haven't played botw are alienating people who HAVE. or me and mc at least lol. if the joy is seeing how hyrule's changed since you've been away, and the answer is "actually it forgot you, but not in a deliberate cool way that would fuck you up, just in a frustrating way," that's a let-down. NOT TO MENTION the lore-breaking going on...veteran players and youtube guys will be scratching their heads all the way up until the next one comes out.

idk!! most of the time this game blows my mind, because it's an expansion of botw, which was so good and so special - truly the same kind of lightning-in-a-bottle stuff oot was made of, and i don't hand that sort of praise out lightly. but sometimes i feel as though i'm playing botw2 and not totk and i'm like "man after 4 years is this really It?" and like yeah this is It. it's a great game and i'm still having fun - i fucking love my hoverbike - but it's just not QUITE as special or as elegant/tied together as botw was - its story was simple but i'm starting to appreciate that simplicity as being essential to a story with absolutely no fat on it whatsoever. and a simple story does help in not, you know, BREAKING YOUR OWN LORE.

you never know though! maybe after i see more cutscenes and hunt less koroks i will change my mind! i definitely hope so

[pirefyrelight]

A thing happened at work today that I'm actually mad about. And not like my previous complaints, I'm still shocked it happened and I plan to start a paper trail with HR as soon as I figure out how I want to word it.

Something that happened, idk maybe a year ago? Was a guy cook groped a girl cook at work. Which is a stunning display of lack of self preservation as she not only has a boyfriend, said boyfriend works back of house too on a different line, but he could beat his ass in a hundred different ways if he was even a hair inclined to violence. Oh also he's a closing manager (he was on the path to that at the time but didn't have any actual power yet iirc)

When that happened, a different guy spread the word to myself and my sister about it and I said something to the effect of, "holy shit. So he's gone right? They fired him?" To which the answer was "no"

He still works here. So does the girl he touched. I talked about it later with her and she made it clear that though she'll be civil with him at work she hates his guts and I don't blame her. Sounds like she just doesn't want drama and that's fair I've been following her lead. She eventually got moved up to my line and she's very happy about that.

Second point of information. Our workplace has a heavy culture of people with cars giving rides home to coworkers who don't have cars. It's not uncommon for closers especially to have to drop someone off at their house while off the clock. (There's at least two guys trying to get some form of cash back or compensation for gas money if not to get it to count as hours worked. But that's a separate issue.)

the creep that groped the coworker had a car, which, thank god, I won't ever have to be in a car alone with him. I still told the closing manager boyfriend explicitly not to even suggest again that if creep needs a ride to volunteer me, and he understood and promised not to do that again.

But the chef, the absolute head of the kitchen, did not get this memo. I figured it wouldn't be an issue because not only did he have a car but CM had my back, and openers could usually catch a bus before they stopped running for the night.

Today, both I and creep were openers. I was working a large ticket when chef let me know, "when you're done with that and sidework is done, you and [creep] are cut. Can you give him a ride home?"

And I kinda blanked a bit because I didn't think this was going to be an issue but chef is also the kind of guy who gives orders with questions and in that moment I didn't want to argue, so I did that thing that you can do where you agree but make it clear you're not happy by pausing a bit too long and cocking your head before saying "hmm, fine." (Cringe. Like the original meaning of cringe. I cringed at his order but still agreed)

And he didn't like that response, so he asked "what?"

And I said, "y'know, he's kinda a creep."

"he's a *what*?"

"You know. A creep. He touched [coworker]"

And this is the part that genuinely shocked me and is pissing me off now. He, in the most derisive tone he could have mustered, to my face, while said coworker is *right there plating this ticket with me* says,

"He didn't *touch [coworker]*"

I give him a 'the fuck' face, then look at her. I'm not good with reading expressions but she wasn't looking at us but I can tell she hears us. I stammer for a bit because holy shit he just denied to his only two current female employees that a sexual assault happened on work grounds, one of which *was the one assaulted*.

He brings up creep's excuse which was that it wasn't his hand that touched her ass but rather the mini lantern he kept his keys in, and I just don't know what to say. He's acting like it was obvious it was a non issue.

I just give a sort of "fine yeah" and return to the ticket at hand, just to distract and process what happened I guess. Chef waits a few beats and says, slightly less dismissively but still dismissive and condescending, "well if you care *that much* about it I can give him a ride myself."

I say thanks without looking at him and continue working.

I hear him give orders to someone else to let creep know he's cut if floors are done and to go take a smoke and wait for Chef.

After he's gone and ticket is sold I let her know I believe her 100% and she thanks me, and soon after CM boyfriend comes over to confirm with me that I'm not still being expected to give him a ride and that he was about to order creep an Uber if i was, and I thank him for that.

I talk a minute with her about it and she mentioned a fact that someone else brought up after the initial incident that creep wasn't even wearing his keys that day, but didn't press it at the time because it would just be dragging the whole thing out.

Idk man I just- I was pissed from the beginning that he wasn't fired immediately. I figured it was because he was a warm body who shows up on time so in a time of understaffement he got put on thin ice but ultimately no consequences for him. I didn't realize chef *didn't think anything actually happened*

And now, I'm 100% not getting in a car with him. With either of them. If chef doesn't believe she got groped he's not going to believe me if anything does happen, especially off site. And if he doesn't take this seriously than I don't know where his morals lie.

The only reason I'm not drafting a quit notice is because every single other person in the kitchen (that I know of) supports her. CM has both our backs, every guy who knows has voiced disgust with him.

I Think what I'm going to do is email one of the office ladies. Maybe HR maybe FOH manager. I'm going to ask them about the initial situation and what the official word is. If they don't tell me anything that's fine (and probably best for her privacy reasons) but I can throw in a line or two summarizing that 1. Chef doesn't believe her or why I wouldn't want to be alone with creep and 2. I will not be giving him a ride anywhere anytime and maybe allowance should be made for ubers home and such if we want to make sure coworkers all get home safely.

I don't plan to press the issue but I have to start a paper trail. A boss who doesn't understand why a young woman would be concerned about being alone with a sex offender who has so much as been *rumored* to have assaulted a coworker-

Oh did I mention he's a registered sex offender? Yeah. Sounds like the crime was more like pissing in public than outright rape, but when this info only becomes known to the workplace after he touches a coworker thats- hm. That's kinda sus. That should be raising some red flags. Should be cracking some ice.

-thats a dangerous fucking boss.

[centrally-unplanned]

While I wouldn't really care I can at least recognize some loose reasoning from whoever you are talking about - but that isn't me and isn't in my post. Like:

it is an insufficient casus belli

I don't say that nor do I necessarily think that. I think it is a dumb casus belli in this specific case and I will dig into that, but as I explicitly say in my post, if alternate-universe-Israel was doing the alternate-universe-thing banning UNRWA I discussed my response would be "dumb but whatever". Again, the entire point of my post.

Anyway:

[No one is saying] "Hamas is a spiritual contamination they are infected with due to contact with the government,"

That includes me, I also don't say that, so good talk I guess:

UNRWA is actively aiding Hamas's military aims against Israel by knowingly providing shelter, transport, and material support for Hamas fighters.

I think the strong version of this is blatantly not true and not only has Israel never made a good case for this, they don't even bother most of the time outside of incredibly small examples. You are smuggling their implications into an argument - their actual claims are the weaker "UNRWA has Hamas members working for them and they help out sometimes" and then they let that vibe into "and then obviously that means the whole org is leaking missile strikes details and programmatically smuggling weapons" when that is a batshit implication to make that they never back up. You can disagree, that is fine, but I don't think my one-off segue paragraph needs to dig into that.

The weaker version - "UNRWA and Hamas have ties", is true and exactly what I said! UNRWA obviously has members of hamas who collaborate with it, obviously has many employees who are broadly sympathetic to them, and obviously in the course of its work is going to have individual staffers who do favors for the people they know and all that stuff. Just like the aid organizations with the US in Afghanistan! Do you think food aid orgs didn't share intelligence with American forces fighting the Taliban? Of course they did, DIA alone had an entire team devoted to it, why wouldn't they? They worked for the US!

I get that the typical western mind unable to understand the zen duality of Biba Netanyahu as he held the twin spirits of Cursing Hamas as the Great Enemy and Funding Them to Fuck the PLO in synergistic abeyance for 20 years, but most of us lack his meditative grace. For the rest of us, if you embed in a place for decades doing deep humanitarian work involving tens of thousands of employees, you get complicit. And to the extent that Israel continues to believe that allowing any IDF soldier to remain on the ground Gaza for more than 2 seconds to face the consequences of their actions will give them cooties, any aid organization that follows the UNRWA will continue along that trend with whatever government emerges after the war.

Is that good? Idk, I mean hamas fucking sucks so it probably isn't. But it is life and also a direct consequence of Israeli's particular brand of hands-off management of the country it refuses to recognize exists, so I am broadly unsympathetic to their complaints. Which is why this is dumb btw. They are playing whack-a-mole with symptoms; and broadly irrelevant ones at that, as any "aid" UNRWA is providing to hamas is tiny on the scale of things and easily checked by the IDF's monopoly on force in the area.

But since those complaints weren't relevant, and since I opened the piece clearly explaining how removing an aid org doesn't have to be a big deal, I summarized it quickly with:

Government officials, working in both, par for the course.

and

I completely agree that UNRWA has many people who are sympathetic to Hamas in it

Which seems absolutely sufficient for my purposes, and only a willfully mischaritable read would take that to mean I think "the UNRWA is completely spotless" - zero organizations of such scale are after all.

The trick on the whole "Israel banning UNRWA" thing is that most militaries - like say the US in Afghanistan for example - directly provision aid. American soldiers would often be handing out food packages themselves, and even if they weren't the aid organizations would be directly contracting with the US government and the Department of Defense. You have a group in the military and the government that is like, okay, how do we feed people, let's hit those targets.

So if Congress decided to ban the United Nations Assistance Mission in Afghanistan in 2006 from operating in the country or whatever, that bill would say like "we hand over its mission to USAID, which has been allocated $2.1 billion dollars in FY-2005 to do X Y Z". It would probably be a dumb move that would create unnecessary friction and cost lives for political bullshit, but that is also life, people dying for political bullshit is a universal constant. It would probably be pretty small bore in the scale of things, like switching over contractors.

That isn't how Israel does things. I might be wrong about this, Israel is deliberately opaque about these things and I just gave this the ol' half hour of googling, I am open to being contradicted here. But my current understanding of net spending by the government of Israel itself on aid to Gaza is...$0. They do not provide aid. They permit aid from other organizations, funded by other countries, to be provided! But they don't take responsibility for the provision; meeting targets, outcomes, etc, none of that is their job. (I am sure it isn't literally zero btw, but I think you get my point)

It is really telling that when you look up pro-Israel statements by say AIPAC on aid, their headlines are:

Israel Facilitates Humanitarian Aid to Gaza as Hamas Continues to Attack

And they criticize the UN because the UN trucks aren't being delivered:

The United Nations and other international agencies are largely responsible for the existing delays in aid deliveries into Gaza. The U.N. has not been able to distribute aid at the rate that Israel is processing it, causing back-ups at the border crossings after Israeli inspections are completed. On March 3, the U.N. received 234 trucks in Gaza but only distributed 131 trucks of aid to civilians in the enclave.

If this was the US military, and the UN was getting aid trucks and failing to send them, we would send more of our own trucks? That we have? Because aid is part of the military operation. But Israel doesn't do that - because it doesn't have any trucks. Because aid isn't part of the military operation.

Which is why the bill banning UNRWA that is being passed does not mention aid provision to Gaza:

The international community has raised alarm over the legislation, which was passed without a plan in place for a humanitarian agency to replace UNRWA.

Again going off news sources here, link for the actual bill is currently down, if I am wrong will correct here, but I think it all tracks. So in the article above, you get statements from the government when people ask about aid, they reply, oh yeah these other aid organizations will fill the gap.

Then you ask the aid organizations themselves and they go, no, we won't fill the gap! We don't have the resources to do that! Which is logical when you realize Israel isn't funding those orgs. They don't know or care about their funding status. Hopefully someone else will figure that out - aid is someone else's problem. Those government remarks are just off the cuff, they aren't a plan.

Which I want to loop back around to the casus belli for the ban - UNRWA having ties to Hamas. That, to me, is one of those "uh duh, and?" thing is - Hamas is the government of Gaza. UNRWA runs schools there? And medical clinics? You think they do that...without contact with the government? This is just silly, the UN Mission in Afghanistan obviously had connections to the US Government! Government officials, working in both, par for the course.

But, and this is far more important, it is irrelevant. I completely agree that UNRWA has many people who are sympathetic to Hamas in it, because obviously they do. You want to ban it, dumb but okay. You propose a bill outlining the $2 billion dollars and the 5 partnered aid organizations and the 400 IDF trucks that will deliver aid to replace their work, sure. Whatever man, do your small bore politics bullshit.

That is not what they are doing.

Now, Israel has in fact allowed a bunch of aid in Gaza, I don't doubt that like USAID and the non-profit community and the governments of the UK and Japan and so on are gonna pivot funding to a bunch of organizations that will do herculean work stepping up operations and interfacing with the IDF checkpoint system and get aid in. Maybe they will do such a bang-up job that the cost in suffering won't be that high. Israel did give 3 months after all, they aren't the literal worst they could be.

But I do think at a certain point, the line between indifference and malice just ceases to matter. The UNRWA bill isn't some breaking point or big policy shift - it is just a highly revealing moment in the Israeli approach, why the war there has gone the way that it has. And it is, as the kids say, not a good look.

(h/t @loving-n0t-heyting as this was initially a reblog of their post, but they mentioned getting drama in the notes so I split it off; sorry to deny you the precious +1 internet point)

[sanjisblackasswife]

How would the monster trio react, to a s/o who’s dominant outside the bedroom but submissive inside the bedroom?

A/N: OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS—is it a trope? Dynamic? Concept?….idk BUT YES I ENJOY IT. (Because that’s literally me)

Monster Trio’s Gf That is Only Submissive in The Bedroom

Black Fem Reader in Mind

CW: Oral Sex, Mean Zoro, OOC Luffy, Sir/Captain Kink(?)

Zoro

Honestly it shocked him the most out of the three

But now you’re screwed because he uses it against you

You’re so outspoken and actually a bit of a smart ass towards Zoro. You correct him so much and act like a know it all around him. You’re even a little hotheaded when you can be

You’ve fought many men on your own and you had a little bit of an ego

However that ego was watered all the way down when Zoro got a hold of you

He didn’t expose you, no no that would be too easy, but best believe he’s the biggest shit talker of them all:

“All—ah—those assholes—would get a fucking kick out of seeing you on your back for me like this. Taking it like a good slut.”

Every other words was a more powerful thrust than the last almost as if he was fucking you dumb.

And he was

“Zo…Zoro…”

“Aww.” He thrusted into you feeling almost deeper than he was before making you see stars, it felt so painfully good feeling his cock drag in and out and at unforgivable pace while his free hand was around your throat. Your jaw was slacked and drool came beside your mouth. “My little smart girl is nothing but a dumb slut right now? Too dumb on my Dick to make words?”

To this day he snickers when someone compliments your strength or how smart you are simply because Zoro knows it’s all a front.

Sanji

He was lowkey conflicted KSBSHSKSKS

You’re very unhinged (Nami’s words mostly). You never allowed men to get too close let alone touch you

You’ve even tried shooting at Zoro a few times because he drunk all your Sake

Sanji of course would worship the ground you walk on

He would also let you walk on him

You scared a lot of men during your time with them and Sanji was no exception; he was actually intimidated by you for a while

But seeing you be so tough in front of enemies yet right now you’re begging for more under him made him see you in a new light.

However Sanji wasn’t like Zoro and used it against you he moreso liked the switch of dynamic because he knew he was the only one that can see you like this

Alotta people think you’re the dominant one in the bed, and it irked Sanji a few times especially considering the green haired swordsman would tease him about it

“I already know Y/N makes you her little bitch.”

“WHAT’D YOU SAY JACKASS—-“

Sanji was a True gentlemen and he respected the way people viewed and feared you so he didn’t want it to get tainted by revealing how you really are when it’s just you both

So it was his little secret

“Please! Please deeper, Sanji!” Your eyes were filled with tears feeling his tongue shoved inside you. You already came not too long ago, but he didn’t let up. Your begs for him to stop suddenly now turned into pleads to keep going.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He mumbled into your folds making your eyes roll back pulling his hair. You notice how hard you were tugging and stopped

“I-I’m sorry I—“

Your face was flushed holding back your hand. Sanji crawled towards your face and kissed you slowly.

“Don’t apologize sweetheart. Pull my hair and tell me how good it feels.”

He never would tease you too harshly but he would be lying to say he didnt love the way you begged for him.

“Y-yes sir.” He doesn’t know when or why you started calling him that in bed but he has no complaints. He loves hearing it from your slurry mouth which just made him want to please you more.

Sanji has never heard your pretty voice apologize, even if you were wrong, but now he knows he can get it out of you when you’re in bed.

Luffy

You may have or may have not turned him into a Sadist.

You were just as careless as he was. You also being skilled assassin

Which is why he invited you to his crew

You knew your way around being stealth, shit talking, and even making man of thousands fall at your feet

You were a savage really you didn’t give a fuck you worked your own way sometimes even defying Luffy’s orders in the heat of the moment

But it was like messing with a whole new person when Luffy finally got to sleep with you. He always ends up breaking you.

He didn’t realize how submissive you were until Brook made a sly comment about you both

“I can’t imagine being in bed with Y/N! She would have me crying—but wait I have no eyes YOHOHOHOHO!”

It clicked something in Luffy’s brain. Wait. You’re always crying under him you’re never on top demanding anything?

So tonight he wanted to confirm if his theory was correct.

“Luffy i—“

“Captain. You call me captain.” He chuckled lowly at you. You were kneeled between his legs staring at his hard cock that he grew 4 extra inches this time with his arms behind his head.

“Captain I don’t think it can fit—“

“It can and it will sit. Now.”

You immediately obliged but the hesitation he seen was running on his patience with how you were hovering over him so he slams up into you making you yell out.

“See...” He began to continue his thrust not giving you time to adjust to the slight uncomfortable stretch inside you. You grabbed on his chest mouth agape, but he pulled them off making you lose balance and fall on him looking into his dark eyes with the toothpick in his mouth, he kissed you harshly continuing his attack in your twitching pussy

“Why don’t you listen to me like this when we are in battle? Hmm?”

You couldn’t speak which earned you a smack to the but and a faster pace.

“C-captain!”

“Y-you—ah—never like—-Listening to me when I tell you—to—stop—AH FUCK—That’s okay! I’ll fix you!”

[mono-dot-jpeg]

the antarctic idiots [pt.1] - c! technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 1.5k

a/n; fuck it, it is here now. here’s the techno x reader you fucking simps. i can’t even be mad bc i too am a simp for the anarchist pig that is technoblade. 

i hope this is somewhat up to par with everyone’s expectations since i hyped this up so much. this is one of the few writings that i actually like so- i couldn’t resist waiting so long to post it AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

next >

now you never really expected to find yourself on a side of history that was deemed "the villain's side", especially when the villain wasn't even that bad.

okay, that's a bit of a lie. this piglin man blew up an entire country to end government. plus he has evaded his taxes. i mean the list goes on but that's not the entire point here.

the point is, you found yourself actually being friends (even going as far as housemates) with the so-called evil anarchist.

now we might be moving too fast here, so let's move it back a little bit.

"so you want me to join pogtopia?" you looked up, shutting the book in your hand as you leaned back on your chair. "and what would i get in return exactly?"

"...our friendship won't die?" the voice of wilbur soot rings in your quiet home, unsure and nervous at your stern aura and words.

"why can't you just help us?!" tommy flared up, nearly throwing a fit if not for his older brother holding him back.

"just because i am your friend, does not mean i am interested in fighting for your conflicts." you place the book on the small side table, adjusting your gloves while you explain yourself to the two boys, "i'm not saying i'm a pacifist, but i'm not here to fight. i live far away for a reason. i told you this before."

"can i call in that favor then?" wilbur asked. "you still owe me one." you huffed at his words. you saw this coming.

"you're lucky i'm a nice person most of the time." you sighed, standing up and nearly towering over the two boys if not for wilbur being a bit taller than you. "i will get my stuff packed, and then we can get to your pogtopia. but while i do that, please explain the whole situation." since you lived so far away from society, you didn't know too much about what was happening unless wilbur told you about it and wilbur never really talked to you too often.

"well, you know how we had l'manburg.." and then he starts to explain how that completely backfired on them because they lost the election and now they lost their country. "and now we want to fight back for l'manburg." wilbur finishes explaining as you put your old netherite sword in its sheath that hung on your waist. "we just need your help. are you willing to train us?"

"it's not like i have much of a choice since you're cashing in that favor." you pointed out. "i better not be staying for too long."

"i can't make any promises about that." you sighed. "you ready?"

"unfortunately." it was time to leave your home and face violence once again.

"if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only person we've asked to help us." tommy says in an attempt to get you out of your bitter mood.

"that made me feel worse, tommy. i think you guys would've been fine without me if you have another person helping you other than tubbo." you slung your bag over your shoulder. "but if you really insist on getting the help of me, then who am i to judge?"

"since it seems like you're ready now, let's go to pogtopia!" tommy said, ignoring most of your words of complaints as he starts to drag you by the arm towards the dream smp. "it's quite the walk from here. why do you live so far from everyone? don't you get lonely? why didn't you join l'manburg with me and will?"

"slow down with the questions, tommy. first of all, i've told you and wilbur why i live far away, you did not listen though." you pressed a finger on his forehead, earning a huff of annoyance from the blonde. you moved your hand back to your side. "i simply do not like people. also why get pulled into conflict that you never were apart of to begin with? but that's pretty hypocritical of me to say now."

"i get that you're not fond of people, but aren't you lonely out here?" you three walked into the portal that would take you right into the nether. the sounds of bubbling lava and squealing pigmen was always an oddly comforting sound to hear.

"i'm perfectly content in my house. even if it's very far from others. i'm happy." you answered though your words sounded so... monotonous. tommy gave you a look, he definitely didn't believe you. "i know i don't sound happy but i am." before you knew it, you made it to the other nether portal which would actually take you to the manburg and pogtopia. oh how you didn't miss this place at all.

you never liked how manburg was ran even before shlatt was elected. you never really like government in general. it always seemed to be ruining everything. freedom never felt like freedom, at least that's what you thought especially when there was a goverment.

"welcome to pogtopia!" you were so deep in your own thoughts that you hadn't realized that you had made it to pogtopia.

"so where is your other helper? the first choice that wasn't me?" you asked.

"i think he might be here. he's been staying up for a long time. ever since he got in here." wilbur said. "technoblade? you here?" wilbur leads you to a potato farm and you soon feel a sense of familiarity as you enter the room.

"yeah." a low huff is heard, causing you and wilbur to turn your heads toward the source of the sound. "i'm here." what immediately catches your attention is the crown messily placed on his head as he farms. as a piglin, you've always been fond of gold, that adoration never left you once you went to the overworld. you never really wore a crown but you wore a gold pendant instead that was pinned to your cape.

"you have a really pretty crown." it takes you a minute to realize that those words came out of your mouth. "fuck, i didn't mean to say that out loud." you explained quickly to the male that was farming. "piglin things." you muttered.

"a very unexpected compliment. understandable." techno said. "wilbur, who is this again? have i met them?"

"well, you'd think you know each other since you're both piglins, but i guess the world is bigger than i thought. well, technoblade, meet y/n, y/n, meet technoblade."

"i call him the blade." tommy said smugly. "the blade! how's the potato planting doing?"

"it's doing fine. i didn't expect any company to come though."

"well, this is the person that we wanted to recruit for pogtopia."

"nice to meet you, even if the circumstances aren't the best. wilbur is lucky i owe him a favor." you said. "i sort of expected meeting you since tommy and wilbur mentioned you once they came to get me. i just never expected to see another piglin here in the overworld."

"never expected to see another piglin here either." techno hummed slightly.

maybe staying in pogtopia won't be too bad. at least you made a friend?

that was sort of a lie. you and techno never really talked after the encounter. it never worried you, you’re not one for conversation right now anyways. you had a mission to do and you’re gonna do it. you didn’t have time to make friends, at least that’s what you thought. friends seemed to be temporary in the smp, considering the wars that were and have happened.

you weren’t going to make another friend, knowing that you just might get pulled into their fights.

“why did you stop fighting once you left l’manburg?” wilbur’s voice rings in the small fighting pit that was made for training.

“i simply didn’t find the need to fight. it doesn’t mean i’m any weaker though. i will still fight for what i want to fight for.” and that’s gonna be really ending this whole government. you think to yourself, letting the nighttime ambience fill the air.

“you still have your lives...right?” you show him your wrist which had 3 hearts tattooed on it. 

“i’ve been living away from everyone, of course i won’t die that easily.” you let out an empty laugh. “bold of you to assume i would even die.”

“i know it’s ridiculous to even think that you would lose a life after you left l’manburg but what if dream were to chase you down and kill you?”

“i understand your worry, but need not to worry, i can handle myself. if i couldn’t you guys would never even assign me as cavalry captain those years ago.” you said, unbuttoning your gold pendant to place it on the stone cold floor along with your other accessories you had. “it’s not like dream can do too much to me. we made a deal after all.”

“a deal?” wilbur raised an eyebrow as he took off his jacket, tossing it on the ground.

“don’t be too concerned. i’m not like eret. i wouldn’t betray you.”

taglist; @justahostaccount, @olyink​, @aikochan4859​, @classycookiebailiffstudent​, @hubblie​, @stickk-bugg, @goldensunshineshit​, @sadlyitsme-boohoo​, @jace-the-ace12​, @2cuteforyourlies​, @lvlyjuro​

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[killing-hannibals-body]

Personally I’m kinda done reading reviews at this point.

Because the reviews really depend on what you’re looking for in the show. Like, I’ve seen complaints that it’s all flashy camera shots, bizarre directional choices, and snarky one-liners…that’s kinda a win for me because I like that shit. But not everyone does. So, who is right and who is wrong? Neither.

(Un)fortunately, KE will constantly be compared to the first season which we can all agree was perfect. But this constant comparing makes us lose sight of what makes the series, as a whole, special.

Because, let’s face it. While the rest of the series does have a hard time comparing to season one (which is fair because PWB was at the helm, and she’s just as incredible and special as writers come), it’s definitely infinitely better and different than most of the shit on television.

I have yet to find a series that captures even a fraction of what KE has, even post PWB. So at this point, I’m like, fuck the reviews. I may be in the minority when I say that I enjoyed the last season, again, because KE at it’s “worst” is still better than most of the shit available to watch.

This series has been a marvel, and it’s broken some serious ground. I’m sure that there will be plenty of essays and pieces about how KE shaped the past 5 years of lgbt media and opened the gates for aspiring female writers.

Idk I’ve been here since the beginning, before KE had any press coverage or worldwide acclaim. Back whenever that first trailer with the song “Issues” pinged every one of my lesbian alert systems lol but I had nothing else to go one besides, “hey, that looks kinda gay”.

I do hope that the final season doesn’t fuck everything up, but at this point, from what I’ve read? It’ll be what it’ll be, and in the end, it comes down to what you wanted out of the series in the first place.

Let’s just raise a glass to KE and how groundbreaking and amazing the series has been thus far. Looking forward to journey of the final season with you guys.

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

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