#idk i'm sorry. especially for complaining so much on the matter.

[genderdryad]

i feel like i shouldn't have to plaster "mspec/male 'lesbians' dni" all over my page but here we are

[deathbxnny]

Arcane women cheating on their s/o and getting caught. | Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika x Gn!Reader

(Part 2)

So I'm writing this whilst extremely sick, but the idea just wouldn't leave my mind, so I'm sorry if this sucks... also, you're welcome in advance!<3

Content: TW!Cheating, angst, hurt/no comfort, swearing, some violence? Idk, just chaos, probably ooc, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns.

((Not proofread))

》VI

In hindsight, you should have known better than to think that she'd be yours forever. When you were children under Vander's care, she had promised you that she'd be yours for life. It was naive, and deep down, you knew that it wouldn't last. Especially when she was able to leave prison with the help of that Enforcer.

You weren't blind to how close they were when Vi came to visit you weeks after her release, claiming to have an important mission with the blue haired woman she had to finish first. But things fell into place again with her, and you pushed those thoughts aside from the joy of having your girlfriend back... until the denial finally caught up to you months later, when you were asked to go on a mission with her and Caitlyn to catch Jinx once and for all. You refused at first, unwilling to be the cause of more pain in Zaun, yet Vi couldn't see how wrong it was.

She followed the Kirammann near blindly even when she should've known better, and that hurt. You ultimately just joined because she practically made you to and didn't leave you much of a choice. The jealousy was, however, unbearable, yet Vi just called you dramatic in response.

It was no big deal anyway. Her and Caitlyn were just partners in this mission, you know? It's really not that big of a deal. They are just very good friends at best. Can't she have friends, or are you that controlling now? The lies finally came to the surface when you trailed after them secretly whilst Vi asked for a private moment alone. It felt wrong and invasive at first, but what you saw was a lot worse than the guilt. Caitlyn leaned forward to kiss Vi on the lips, and a perhaps foolish part of you hoped that your girlfriend would push her away to tell her off. Yet she didn't do that. Instead, she dropped her gauntlets and melted into the Piltovans embrace fully, as though your relationship didn't matter. And maybe it never did to her.

You let out a shaky sigh, doing your best not to absolutely freak out in the face of absolute doom. Everything suddenly felt so tense and suffocating, your body trembling in horror. You should've listened to your gut feeling months ago. But love blinded you. It really did. You couldn't look away either, your broken heart pounding against your ribcage wildly when it finally dawned on you that you were an idiot this whole time. Everyone must've caught on except for you, and yet you had the hope that she'd never do this to you. Not your Vi. Never your Vi. Prison must've changed her more than you thought.

Unable to breathe and completely devastated, you attempted to step back and flee. You didn't even want to bother and yell at her when she didn't even deserve your time anymore. But alas, fate had different ideas, as you knocked over an empty can that made both women part in surprise. Vi's eyes immideatly met yours, a shocked look on her face as though you were the one that betrayed her. "Oh fuck... wait, I can explain, I, we-" "-Vander would be disappointed in you, Violet." You said, unable to stop the painful words from slipping out of your lips. Her feelings would never be protected by you again anyway. You've wasted years of your life waiting for her and caring for her when she finally got out. You never complained, and you bit your tongue every time she did something that you disliked. But it was all for nothing.

Vi was left speechless at your words that awoke a deep insecurity she had attempted to hide for so long. Imagining Vander's disgusted and disapproving face didn't help. Pushing Caitlyn out of the way, she tried approaching you carefully, afraid to lose you. You were the last thing she had left. "Please babe, it's... that was... Fuck just let me explain." But there was nothing she could say to make you forget what you saw. And you sure as hell weren't going to stay with a cheater. Vander taught you to know your worth, and you wouldn't let him down like that.

So when Vi was close enough, you slapped her right across the face, making her stumble. How could such an innocent gaze do the worst things? You had to get out of here before your hands stained the blood of your own people, too. "Cupcake wait -" "-Our people are dying at her hands, whether you like to see it or not. And I refuse to be a traitor either." Not bothering to hear what else she had to say, you simply left and never looked back.

Forever truly is never promised.

》CAITLYN

She has grown distant to you ever since her mother's death. Something you understood and supported by allowing her space to grief. You did everything for her to have a comfortable transition into this uncertain future, hoping it would ease the pain ever so slightly. But things aren't that easy. Her rage was brewing and overflowing into an irrational hatred for all Zaunites due to who had killed her. You may have never met Jinx, but even you understood that not everyone down there was like this. They didn't deserve the anger.

Yet Caitlyn couldn't see it your way and refused to, which led to many arguments and eventually a separation for the time being. Your heart was hurting, and you couldn't recognize the woman she had become. But of course, you were the crazy one. The Traitor, who empathized with those "animals", a word you were still in disbelief in to hear from her of all people, considering her late mother's ambitions. Ambitions that she stepped all over after she used her vents for an unforgivable plan that gassed the entire undercity with "the grey". You couldn't believe it. It left you to sit at Cassandra's grave frozen and bewildered for hours on end, guilty about being unable to do anything.

But just as you thought she couldn't get any worse, she had to prove you wrong like always.

On a moonlight night, you made your way through her estate in search of the last of your belongings. You weren't going to stay in Piltover any longer after she became the commander. Not being able to stand what she now was, you took it upon yourself to leave as silently as possible. Perhaps get back at her for hurting you, as selfish as it may have been to you at first. Yet the guilt melted away when you creaked open the door to her room, a room you often secretly shared. You didn't think she was home around this hour, as you hoped she was too busy to be there yet. But alas, there she was, with a familiar red-headed officer of hers. The one you couldn't stand at first sight, as you felt like there was something off about her.

You were right about that, at least. You couldn't make out everything, but their scandly clad figures moving around the bed was enough to paint a picture you wished to forget. Oh, how the rage took ahold of you in that moment! For a split second, you finally understood how she must've felt like. And god did you hate it.

Unwilling to let this ruin the reason you've come here to begin with, you unceremoniously switched the lights back on and casually began to grab your things off the shelves and vanity. Caitlyn jumped up in surprise when she finally could see again and saw you standing there, back facing her. She was speechless, and so was the sly officer below her. Although the smirk was easy to hide behind a covered mouth. "Don't mind me. Just here to get the last of my belongings." You said, voice shockingly steady. Despite the shocking situation, you felt calm and undeterred, finally done with her at last. "W-wait, this isn't what it looks like, love. This means nothing, I-" "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. No need for it when my skyship is leaving soon." You turned to glance at her and felt a sick satisfaction at her horror striken face. She certainly never expected you to catch her, and you certainly never expected her to sink so low.

Stumbling out of the bed and after you, as you exited the room, she ignored Maddie's hushed pleas to stay. "Come on, wait and allow me to explain, at least! I... Things have been hard lately -" You walked quicker now, not wanting to hear what she had to say. But she just wouldn't let you go. "- And, and you weren't around and I..." "Are you done? I wasn't around because you didn't want me to. Now let me leave at once, or I will scream and alert everyone in this building of what you're doing." Caitlyn stood still at the top of the grand staircase that you practically ran down. Before you slipped through the doors, however, you turned to her one last time, tears finally burning in your eyes so treacherously.

"Your mother died in vain, hoping from the heaven's above that her daughter would be worth the Kirammann name... and yet, all she does is roll in her grave at your actions. Oh, the shame." You hissed out before slamming the doors shut and never looking back.

》SEVIKA

Sevika was well known for her loyalty to those who deserve it. It was unrelenting and filled with unparalleled devotion, especially to you. Or so you thought.

Looking back on it, you wondered when the first red flags started appearing. Was it when she ditched Vander for Silco? Or when she spent endless nice "gambling" in some downtown bars instead of hanging out with you? Or was it maybe when she would only come back home extremely late into the night... or days later, sometimes.

There was always a new excuse, too.

She had a lot to do. Missions are piling up. Some random drug dealers weren't handing over the money they owed to Silco. Enforcers were causing some trouble. The Firelights were causing some trouble. She got too drunk and had to crash somewhere closer to the bar. Jinx blew something up again, and she had to fix it. Silco had her running all over Zaun collecting debts. Blah, blah, blah... the creativity was never-ending, and you were beginning to get beyond enraged about it.

You weren't stupid after all. It didn't take much to figure out that she was lying most of the time, and it was clear that she didn't care if you knew either. It was all very half-assed, to say the least. And the people that you asked for confirmation would always roll their eyes, knowing just as much as you did that it was bullshit and she was definitely doing something she shouldn't. Like getting drunk to the point she couldn't remember where home is. Metaphorically and literally. But what got you the most is how blatant and in your face it was.

The question as to why she was doing this now after years of being together is one you'll most likely never get an answer to. And you've made peace with that a while ago. Revenge was, however, still very much on the table, and you'd be damned if you didn't get an ounce of it.

With some bribery, Jinx was thankfully very willing to rat out Sevika, going as far as to even happily lead you to her. She wanted to see the world burn and knew that you weren't the type to let people get away with hurting you. And so, she leaned back with the sweets she acquired through you and watched as you casually loomed behind her in some run-down brothel. She apparently really loved frequenting this one, according to the crazed girl, something that made you scoff. She'd trade you in for THIS? Now that's an insult. The brothel workers nervously scooched away from her at the sight of your face. You two being a couple was well known, but you didn't blame the girls for doing their job. A bag is a bag, and you're about to have Sevika's head in one.

Grabbing a nearby bottle of wine, you practically smashed it over her head, knowing that it would do little to hurt her. "What the Fuck?!" She cursed, immideatly standing up to bash someone's face in. Yet after being met with your unimpressed look, she froze. "Hm? What is it? Not having fun anymore? Because I certainly am." The brothel workers quickly fled, leaving you alone. In the distance, you could hear Jinx's cackles. At least someone was actually finding this amusing. "... Ah... Hey, sweetheart... I uh..." "Call me that again, and I'll gouge your eyes out next. Years and years of loyalty to your miserable ass and this is what I get, Sevika? Have I really gotten that boring to you?" You hissed out, trying your best not to burst into tears.

You've been with this woman for so long through absolutely everything imaginable. But it wasn't enough for her. She had changed over the years into someone you hated, and you couldn't believe you were willing to waste so much more time with her. Not anymore, though. Suddenly feeling so suffocated in this stuffy room, you rolled your eyes and threw what was left of the broken bottle right at her speechless form before turning and leaving. "You know what? I don't care anymore. Go and find someone else who will in this hellscape because I promise you that you won't."

Stepping out into the dim lanes of Zaun, you felt more free than ever before as you ducked into the darkness for good. She'll never see you again, and you'll be sure of it, as you listened to her calls for your name getting further and further away.

[siddyyyyyyyy]

damian has a magic girlfriend. you can choose what powers they have. but reader sometimes uses her powers to play tricks and or entertain depending on the circumstances. maybe reader saves him with her powers and idk angst?

Is this Witchcraft?

Older!Damian Wayne x fem!Reader

wc: 0.6 K summary: small prank teehee warnings: none, no use of y/n a/n: loooooove the idea, THANKYOUSOMUCH!!! But I just made a small drabble about it, I'll probably do another part to it, but currently I'm working on something bigger,so....... just wait it out(thanks again for the request)

»Could you pass me the book over-« And the book he wanted to grab is already in his hands. No matter how many times you do that, it never fails to faze him. He tried to figure out the science behind your power, but never got further than researching for telekinesis, reading hundereds of books about it, and learn that there is no possible way of him to fully understand it.

You, however, think it's amusing and also admireable how he tries and wants to figure it all out. Good thing he gave up after a few weeks, but still studies you intensely whenever he thinks you aren't looking.

Once, he got scared because you moved his stuffed animal to another place when he wasn't looking, doing it every time he turned his back to the plushie. He thought he was going insane until you revealed it and had to deal with a grumpy Damian for the rest of the day. But that didn't stop you from pulling pranks on him at all. In fact, it was funny to mess with him in various ways, especially when he doesn't get it at first.

Like now, he is focused on some case, sitting by his computer and currently solving it slowly but surely. Hanging out like this was usual between you two, just enjoying each other's presence like this while doing some stuff. But it does get boring sometimes. Especially when he has been at it for four hours and haven't said much.

You look through his room again, searching for something to distract him with. It won't hurt distracting him a little, right? You focus on his bottle water standing by his desk, carefully moving it up and let it circle around his head. Damian sighs out, trying to fetch the bottle in the air that floats around his head. He fails as you get the bottle out of his reach when he does so, getting a kick out of his attempts to stop your shenanigans. Finally, he turns around in his chair and looks a little annnoyed, while his water bottle still floats around by his face, even doing some small flips and circles right in front of him.

He manages to snatch it from the air, putting it back onto his desk with a small thud. »Are you doing this on purpose?« Bad question, but he still asked it.

»Do what on purpose?« Damian rolls his eyes at your words, standing off his chair and walks over to his bed, where you lay sprawled out on. He doesn't waste any time on laying down beside you, laying on his side to wrap his arm around your middle.

»Sorry for neglecting you. The case is really interesting.« He murmurs softly as you shift to wrap your own two arms around him.

Once he feels like you are getting comfortable to cuddle, the water bottle from before nudges his head gently, but irritating enough for him to curse it out in arabic. He knows it's you who does this all, but it doesn't stop him from getting at least a little grumpy again.

»I swear, if I see or feel this bottle move on its own, I will figure your power out just to make sure you won't be able to use it anymore.« Now, that's a threat. But you know he isn't serious. Maybe.

»You're no fun... can't even annoy you without getting death threats.« You sulk and place the bottle back onto his desk before snuggling closer to his chest.

He huffs out at your words and wraps his arm tighter around you. »That was not a death threat. Just a small warning.«

A small warning. Sure thing. But now with you both cuddled up, you are not complaining or messing around with his stuff anymore. Finally some peace.

a/n: I promise you all, there is going to be more parts to it probably but not now 😭😭 have a few things going on, i'm sure i'll get to it sooner or later. hope you enjoyed it!

←MASTERLIST

[flightyalrighty]

Hi! I was the anon who sent you that message about the movie (idk why I put anon last night I goofed fr!) but THANK YOU AAAA you're absolutely reading my mind.

Sonic has almost always been the victim of weird critics. I think it's totally fine for people to enjoy the filmverse for what it is (I know I'm def hyped for Shadow, simply because he looks great!), but we can 100% enjoy what the franchise puts out while also being critical where it needs to be. ESPECIALLY in a movie that is inspired by the game that introduced us to concepts of propaganda, "authority as cruelty", etc. as children. So many younger people now could have gotten a taste of that from the movies, but... they just didn't do it. Maybe the third movie can fix some of that cracked foundation, but what came before is just... ugh. (The thing in the Knuckles show is a meme in my friend group because what the actual hell LMFAO)

Also the "enjoy the boys and stop complaining about the girls" is diabolical. Have we forgotten how much the women in Shadow's life have influenced him? Of course Maria is in the movie, as she will inspire him forever. But Amy? Who reminded him of Maria's wish? Rouge? Who has seen Shadow at his worst and will continue to be at his side no matter what? Like maybe I've just overanalyzed Shadow too much, but it's always felt so endearing to me how moved he's been by the positive lady-influences in his life. This isn't even going into what Rouge and Amy bring to the table on their own, like... gosh. It's not SA2 without them, and again I KNOW the movies are their own thing, but... what's the point? Ugh. UGH.

I'm so sorry to fill your inbox with a ramble again, but seriously it's refreshing to see someone who just gets it. Just... thank you! ❤️Drink lots of water and take breaks ❤️

👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆 To the people who insist this is all fine and try shutting down criticism by saying stuff like "Well the movies are different!" how different can the Sonic movies become until it's not a Sonic movie anymore? What can Paramount do that's finally the line crossed where people can say "okay that's not Sonic anymore."

Is there a line?

If Sonic's genre suddenly shifted into, like, The West Wing, all about the president (with a few minutes of Sonic) are people gonna say it's still a Sonic movie?

Anyway! I like what you've said here! I think there's a lot of muck with these movies and it only benefits us to actually point that stuff out! Ugh indeed!

Also I'm currently on my break to answer this! Not drinking water atm but I am drinking shasta tiki punch (zero sugar), and it's very nice :)

[relaxxattack]

Thank you for those posts 😭 maybe it's just me but I've seen a lot of mocking posts like that since becoming a fan and it's real upsetting. I don't want to complain about liking the most popular character past his prime, and more especially as a davekat shipper, but it still stings.

i'm really sorry that that's been your experience. i've definitely noticed that the homestuck fandom can be startlingly unsafe for abuse victims, and really weird about discussion of abuse in general... which is so surprising and disappointing since the comic itself does not shy away from these themes whatsoever.

of course, nobody is being oppressed for liking a character who was for a long stretch of time THE most popular homestuck character. but, you'd think with him being so popular that people would actually analyze him beyond subscribing to weird fanon.

and those weird fanonizations also go hand in hand with the mischaracterization of other characters, like "dave is stupid and repressed and doesn't know anything" feeds into "rose is an all-knowing therapist child who solves everyone else's problems for them instead of having her own personality".

overall i don't think it's ever appropriate to say that abuse can be "deserved" no matter how much you dislike a character. and i really think the homestuck fandom needs to think more critically about homestuck's themes of abuse in general-- like fuck i still see meenah shipped with karkat in main tags!

idk. does it really cost that much to not be an asshole on the internet

[h4itani-4ddict]

Reconciliation in the Cold - Maried!Nozel Silva One Shot

Synopsis: Nozel and Y/N argue, Nozel tell his s/o mean things but at the end they reconcile and apologize

Pairing: Nozel Silva (Black Clover) x female! reader

Genre: Angst to Fluff/ SFW

TW: Nozel being mean (saying "I hate u"), argument, crying, emotionally intense, conflictual relationships, communication difficulties and relationship problems, reconciliation (idk if that's all ???)

WC: 416

A/N: I rlly dont like the end bruhhh (btw english isn't my first langage)

There was a palpable tension in the halls of the Silva mansion. Nozel and Y/N stood in the living room, their faces filled with annoyance and frustration. Sharp words filled the air, fueling the raging argument between them.

"Nozel, how can you say such things?" Y/N exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't understand… I thought you loved me."

Nozel crossed his arms, his gaze cold and distant. "I fail to see why you complain so much. You're always so timid and sensitive. I can't even express my frustrations without you bursting into tears."

Nozel's words struck a chord deep within Y/N, leaving her feeling deeply hurt. She always tried to appear strong in front of him, but his words had touched a sensitive nerve. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she felt misunderstood and rejected.

"If that's how you see me, then maybe… maybe we should take a step back," she whispered, her voice broken.

Nozel hesitated for a moment, his eyes meeting his s/o, filled with sadness and vulnerability. He realized the impact of his words and the pain he had inflicted on the person he loved most in the world.

"Y/N, I… I didn't mean that," he murmured softly, his voice tinged with remorse. "I'm sorry… I'm just… frustrated, and I don't know any other way to express it."

Nozel's sincere words touched Y/N, a glimmer of hope flickering in her broken heart. She knew Nozel struggled to show his emotions, but his admission of fault gave her hope for reconciliation.

"I understand that you have difficulty expressing your emotions, Nozel, but that doesn't mean you can hurt me without consequences," she replied, her voice trembling. "I want you to understand how much your words can affect others, especially me."

Nozel lowered his head, ashamed of his past actions. "You're right, Y/N. I shouldn't let my frustration dictate my words. I sincerely apologize."

Y/N approached him slowly, placing a hand on his arm. "I forgive you, Nozel, but I want us to work together to improve our communication. We are married, and that means being there for each other even in the difficult times."

Nozel looked up, determination shining in his eyes. "You're right, Y/N. I will be the best husband I can be. I promise to make an effort to open up more and show you how much you mean to me."

His s/o offered him a faint smile, feeling their hearts mend. They embraced each other tenderly, seeking comfort in each other's arms.

"I love you, princess" Nozel whispered against her hair. "And I'm sorry for ever doubting us."

Y/N buried her face in Nozel's chest, feeling her heart settle. "I love you too, Nozel. Promise me we'll always work through things together, no matter the challenges."

Nozel tightened his hold, whispering softly in her ear, "I promise, Y/N. I'll never hurt you again. We'll face every trial together."

In that moment of intimacy, Nozel and s/o realized that their love was stronger than their differences. They were ready to face the future hand in hand, proving that even the coldest of hearts could be warmed by the fires of genuine love.

A/N: I've already said it but I really hate the end, like it's so cringe bro... But hope u liked it

masterlist - requests

[blueskittlesart]

i think you should be allowed to complain about whatever you want forever (and as someone who has been absolutely dying a thousand deaths over the currently planned live action how to train your dragon movie i completely understand this flavor of anguish)

sure sometimes positivity can be good, but sometimes u gotta start eating the walls and yelling to the sky about your misery (it’s cathartic <3). i am so very sorry you are joining the “bad live action movie made purely for money that has no shot of capturing what i love about this media” club, and i hope that at some point in the future it will be able to hurt at least a little less

it's like. idk. like i know that im at best a niche internet microcelebrity but it does kind of feel like im at the point where im being held to a weirdly high standard for. posts on a dying blogging website. like as far as i'm concerned i've never marketed this as an overtly positive space. i complain constantly. i've built this blog around media analysis and critical reads of the things i enjoy, whether those reads are positive or negative. but it's gotten to the point where any time i post an even minimally divisive opinion i get someone who is angry that i even dared to have an opinion at all. i've been very open on this blog about what these games mean to me and how much of my life is tied up in them. I became an artist in part because of my love for them. they have driven the success of my career over the past 5 years. I don't think it's unreasonable for me to be disappointed when something like this happens even if it's "just a game" or "just a movie" especially when my entire brand of content is posting about the game in question. i feel sort of insane. like, you all understand that i'm a person, right? that when i post things they come from my real human brain with real human thoughts and emotions? That i'm not curating my thoughts and opinions for you to consume? I'm just posting. i have a big audience but i am still just posting. and no one understands more than me how insane it is that i'm saying all this in response to posts on my legend of zelda fan blog. but like. i need you all to understand that you can't just tell people to not feel something that they are feeling and expect them to react positively to that, no matter what the context is.

anyways none of this is directed at you the asker im just using you as a vessel lmao but thank you for your support. i am nothing if not a hater and i will continue to be a hater until the end of time god bless 🙏🙏🙏

[thecoolerliauditore]

sorry if this is unnecessry, i can't really tell if i'm the one being talked about with regards to having anti-twink sentiments? deeply funny sentence, but that really wasn't my intention. live and let live, etc

i do disagree that, in this fandom specifically, being against "twink" designs is based in homophobia and femphobia in particular. i could probably go through all the accounts that use the term twinkification and see various neopronouns and posts about crossdressing. of course queer people can always be homophobic, but i truly believe this is more of a general annoyance with the dominance of thin/permanently 20yo/anime designs than of the feminine aspect. or annoyance with the dominance of men, in some cases. ultimately, this is wildly subjective and very easily disagreeable on unless someone decides to do a widescale survey so. live and let live.

i was indeed very flippant about distinguishing between feminine and twink, but i believe i hold a different perspective to this than you both. gay men are indeed not recognized as men, or only as "failed" men, which marks them as lesser than men, which marks them as feminine. that is the crux of a significant portion of recent historical homophobia! this goes for a number of other attributes that, when thought about logically, shouldn't make anyone unmasculine, but because of patriarchy et al, it does. if you cry, you're a girl. if you're short, you're a girl. if you care about women, you're a girl. if you're a twink, you're a girl. if you're gay, you're a girl. hence me often switching between the two. yes, it would be nice to live in a post-gender world where these traits aren't seen as pejoratives, or the distinction between masculine and feminine wouldn't matter at all, but society(tm). i personally believe it's useful to acknowledge how "ungendered" traits ARE gendered, even if this gendering is rooted in bigoted history

but, for the sake of clarity, here's a lightning round of how i would define different grian designs: just a guy - thin, short, hairless, probably has anime hair, what most people call twink ; femboy - same as before but with uke style lashes and lips, generally rendered with a "feminine" face, often in "submissive" poses (or as a power bottom), maybe has tits and hips? ; woman - actual woman ; british man - not thin

anyway, feel free to not answer this if you think this is too discourse-y or unproductive. maybe i just misread it and we're literally not even disagreeing about anything. this is largely a non-issue compared to like, the racism in the fandom, or the actual gender gap in the cast, or the hermit tcg essentially being gambling lol.

ps. i wonder why butch designs are so uncommon?

my entire blog is unnecessary and discourse-y man send in whatever you want. my existence is discourse-y and I like it when people disagree with me (and LOVE IT when they agree with me).

So first off I think we're actually on the same page in regard to traits that should be gender-neutral but aren't due to societal biases, hence why I used my Grian as an example in the first place. I, designing him, did not intend for him to be read as feminine but I acknowledge that his traits could be seen as feminizing to others -- and the original anon who had asked me had specifically asked why Grian was more feminized than others, to which my first thought was "...Is he? Idk I feel like he just gets drawn younger?"

This is why homophobia/femphobia is relevant, despite that not being the intention, when people complain about "twink designs" they conflate those traits with femininity as a whole and stuff gets caught in the crossfire. The people who I see complain about twink designs are usually queer yes, but they are also usually young and not exactly the most brushed up on their history or have very little respect for their fellow queer artists. You don't need a homophobic bone in your body to echo homophobic sentiments, especially in the current online climate where so much conservatism has become repackaged as morality.

I also think misogyny is much more relevant to this discussion than homophobia, although those things kind of go hand in hand. e.g. why are "permanently 20" designs bad in the first place, especially when that younger look historically is a stylistic choice that appeals to women? There's obviously nuance to this i.e. the whole "conventionally attractive" thing

It's more that I want people who dislike "twink" designs to examine what they're actually saying. Like, consider,in real life are skinny petite men really considered "conventionally" attractive when every second guy I know is worried about being under 6ft and "sexiest man alive" magazines have line ups like this?

I just think a lot of people have warped perceptions of what is considered "conventionally attractive" in men because they're accustomed to seeing designs made by young queer women. What is "conventionally attractive" in a fandom space is very different from what is "conventionally attractive" irl.

My point is just that I think a lot of people need to take a step back and realise they're not fighting against societal beauty standards, they're fighting against tropes that have historically appealed to teenage girls (alot of whom don't even like men!). And it's okay to dislike these tropes, just um. Make your own stuff instead of complaining to the artist or calling them names?

And I must clarify again that I AM one of those people who is less keen on "twink" designs and prefers to communicate more masculinity and age. I hateeee the art styles of things like genshin and also kinda giggle at some of the more femboy-leaning designs I've seen for characters I don't associate with those tropes. And I do think we're in agreement for the most part? "Live and let live" like you said is the main point here and it. Really is not serious. People are still gonna draw them as little cartoon guys who typically look younger just by virtue of being cartoons + the audience being younger and therefore more likely to see themselves in the stylization. Take it away, Scott McCloud.

I really. don't give a fuck about people being haters. I too am a hater. But if you're QRTing luminousslime's artwork with the hot yaoi base meme, I'm gonna think you're a bit of a bitch.

I could get into more specific examples but I don't want to put anyone on the spot. Point is I think people over-obsess over avoiding being one of the Bad Ones and sometimes that turns into some very hateful stuff said about other artists who they've deemed as one of the Bad Ones. Like at the end of the day draw whatever you want, dislike whatever you want, just don't try to justify bullying. Unless you're actively sending in hate asks I don't careeeee have anti-whatever sentiments you want.

I can't find the tags anymore but someone even rb'd my original post about this talking about feeling fujoshi guilt over twink grian, so I can confirm that there is at least one person who's been made to feel shamed over the way this fandom talks about "twink" designs and how that is very much linked to anti-fujoshi stuff.

That PS is interesting and I could go on a whole tangent about it. Personally I think it's a mixture of the attitude that masculinity = boring that I mentioned in thee original post and a distinct lack of butch representation in media that leaves people with very little mental material to work with. If you asked me to name popular femboys in fiction, I would immediately start listing off characters like Angel Dust from HH, Felix from Re;Zero, Astolfo from Fate, so on. Even outside of the realm of online culture, I'm willing to bet most people could name at least on drag queen.

In contrast, does anyone here know who Spikey Van Dykey is? I saw several RPDR fans who didn't even know Drag Kings were a thing at all when discourse started up about the Thai version of that show confirmed they welcomed Drag Kings to compete.

It's even worse when you get to drawn media where childrens shows female characters often have their femininity accentuated as The Girl One and the marketability of "pretty anime girl" is hard to pass up in media aimed towards older audiences, as is often the allure of drawing pretty anime girl. When talking about anime specifically, Japanese gender roles are also a very damning factor in the storylines and designs of masculine women. You're lucky to get a tomboy who actually looks masc, let alone a butch (<-- take this with a grain of salt since the concept of "butch" doesn't really translate one to one culturally)

I could keep going about the concept of "tomboys" and how it's become very weird in the last few years but. sighs.

Anyway female CCs tend to have very overtly feminine (i.e. more detailed and "prettier") skins as well which might be a factor, masculinizing a design would probably mean taking away fun little trinkets instead of adding your own which isn't appealing to most people. Thinking about this post

like it's obviously not the same thing but.

you see what I mean ?

There's definitely some more. complicated stuff in there about taking away a woman's femininity and internalized misogyny but. yeah. it's own discussion. feminine women and masculine women both get shafted, feminine men get shafted, but you never see complaints that a man is too masculine.

[hoes4hoseok]

enhypen as sour

...so i said i'd finish my work before posting another but i couldn't help it I PROMISE I'LL FINISH IT EVENTUALLY THOUGH. thanks for reading, y'all!

ni-ki as brutal

"they'd all be so disappointed, 'cause who am i if not exploited?"

some maknaes give me such unmistakable teenage angst energy (as i showed by choosing hueningkai for jealousy, jealousy)

&& ni-ki is not an exception imo!! he's also actually seventeen i kinda had to ✋

anyway yeah ni-ki's life is great in some ways but it also sucks in other ways, just like olivia depicts in the song

like yeah he's in a big k-pop group but also he's been through so much 🤧. this obviously does not mean that he's in any hurry to grow up, but y'all get my point (i hope)

sunghoon as 1 step forward, 3 steps back

"which lover will i get today? will you walk me to the door or send me home crying?"

sunghoon is not the type to stay with you if he doesn't like you

but in this case, he's conflicted. (ultimately, he does not like you enough to not toy with your feelings, but alas...)

&& yeah, he might regret it soon after acting cold, but that doesn't matter because he'll act nice but do it again & possibly repeat until the end of the relationship

oh god, heartbreaker sunghoon, y'all!! it's a concept!! that i live by!! (i'm not okay.)

sunoo as deja vu

"a different girl now, but there's nothing new, i know you get déjà vu"

sunoo would totally do the same activities with multiple partners 😭

he wouldn't think it's a big deal though?? he'd associate the things with good times, not people

it would suck but there's not much you can do about it

on the CONTRARY...he'd probably be pissed about you doing the same stuff with other people

especially if the break-up was on you

he'd complain to his friends about it & they'd be on his side in either situation (so would i, sorry y'all)

heeseung as enough for you

"don't you think i loved you too much to think i deserve nothing?"

this scenario is a real tragedy to imagine so i'm sorry about that 😭

just as with any relationship, if you were with heeseung, he would have to love you just as much as you do him.

&& if a relationship with him fell apart it would feel particularly bitter because there would be little warning signs along the way that you didn't think were a big deal

like the whole line about him not complimenting her makeup ✋🙄 (come on bro,, it's not that hard!!)

the real tragedy is that he didn't want more from you...he just didn't want you

anyways 🤠 like she said!! you'll find someone who does find you exciting :)

jake as happier

"i hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me"

it would be so hard to hate jake after a break-up 😭 especially if he was kind about it & took your feelings into account

even more so if it's been a while since the two of you called it quits & you should have moved on but you haven't

because tbh who would be able to?

&& seeing him with someone else would leave you conflicted because how could you possibly be upset with him? or his new partner?

so you'd kind of have to suck it up :( & hope he isn't as happy as he was with you :(

jay as favorite crime

"know that i loved you so bad, i let you treat me like that"

so this song is about partially blaming yourself after a heartbreak, because you "let" them treat you like that

getting dumped by this man would be so devastating

again, it would be slow -- even if you tried your hardest to hold on because you wanted him so badly, he would end up letting go in the end

it's such a horrible feeling. i don't wish it upon anyone.

anyways...before you know it 🚨 wee-ooo wee-ooo 🚨! ur heart is broken! 💔🚔 (sorry i just felt compelled to do that idk)

jungwon as hope ur ok

"somehow we fell out of touch, hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush"

as i said in my txt post, this album only has 11 songs, so this one is also assigned to soobin

&& tbh i have a pretty similar reason for choosing it but i think jungwon would be the one thinking about his old friends & acquaintances (rather than his friends thinking of him, which i said for soobin)

he seems to have a really kind heart, & the reason he's the leader of enhypen is because he's so caring

oh wow 🤧 got myself in my feels about him thinking of his i-land buddies 🤧 i'm gonna go now

txt version ☆ emails i can't send version ☆ masterlist

[chubbysciencenerd]

Confession, JohnSeedxFemReader!Smut

Idk what tags to put srry!

Ps sorry this ones a bit short<3

You look around nervously as you walk up to John Seeds ranch unarmed, in fact with no weapons whatsoever on your person. Some of the other peggies look at you only remembering the version of you before you turned to Eden's Gate. You make your way to the door as people start whispering around the compound you knock on the door shyly. Your plan was to face your sins, the one sin you still endured and that was lust. Lust for John Seed. John opens the door to see a visibly embarrassed deputy. He glances outside seeing people talking as he grabs your shoulder softly pulling you inside before shutting the door. He looks down at you worried about why you were here. “Deputy, are you alright? Why are you here?” He worriedly brings you over to his couch and sits next to you looking at you intently. He didn't care that you once had a job to kill him, that's the point of salvation. “I.. I feel like sin is washing over me.” you speak quietly but loud enough for him to hear, you look down at your legs anxiously. He was somewhat relieved when he found out it wasn't the other peggies that had you like that. “Darling, is it one sin? Or multiple? You know I'm here to help, especially for stuff like this.”

He grabs your hands and takes them into his cause you look up at him, he seemed caring, he wasnt mad that you were filled with sin he just wanted to help. You blush at his nickname he gave you, and you look down anxiously. “Lust..” You speak quietly yet again. His eyes widened a little bit not quite expecting that from a little ol innocent looking you. “Lust is unfortunately a normal feeling, we just can't let it overpower us. That's the only way it is truly a sin. Do you know where all of this lust is coming from?”

You keep your head down and mumble “A certain person..” He can hear what you said but barely, “You need to start speaking up darling, have you gone and talked to this person about how you're feeling?” Fuck you hated how much this felt like a therapy session, you look up at him with weak doe eyes, “Im talking to him about it now.” 

His expression goes blank before quickly getting a little flustered. “I'm proud of you for coming to me, But I really hope that's not the only reason you came to me. I can always help you no matter what deputy.” He holds your hands tighter as he looks deeply in your eyes, “And thank you for being honest” His tone changes to almost.. A seductive one? 

“You know what's the best way to stop a craving? To give someone what they’re craving” He comes so close to you on the couch and studies your face carefully.

It seemed to you that he was sinning with lust too, he moved one of his hands to your thighs and the other to the side of your face before slowly pulling you into a kiss. You had no intention of this happening when you came over but god damn you were doing anything but complaining. He slowly moves his hands to your waist squeezing gently before pulling you onto his lap. He's quick to start to trail the kisses from your chin and down to your neck, your breathing grows heavy as he does so. Your fingers roam through his hair completely messing up its slicked back state, you tug on it slightly as he starts to move your hips on his lap controlling you just by gripping your waist. You forgot how lustful of a person John was. He places a soft bite on your neck before doing the same to your earlobe making a shiver run down your spine. You whimper in his ear quickly causing his lust to grow.

 He tugs at the hem of your shirt quickly pulling it over your head and tossing it to the floor, he begins to admire your body, your scars and tattoos. He returns his grip on your waist before placing soft kisses along the top of your breasts. His hands slide up your body and around to your back as he unclasps your bra quickly tossing that on the floor by your shirt. He is quick to fondle your breasts, taking one of your nipples into his mouth sucking on it while softly tugging on it with his teeth. Your breath grows shallow as you continue to play with his hair, after a few minutes he pushes you up and off the couch before grabbing your hand and quickly leading you to his bedroom. He pushes you onto the bed as he starts to take off his vest, his shirt soon to follow. He tugs at your jeans holding your panties with them and you lift your hips allowing him to pull them off. He quickly climbs on top of you with his knee pressed at your heat.

He kisses from your neck painfully slowly dragging the kisses down till he reaches your heat, he looks up at your flustered face before placing a few soft kisses to your dripping core before starting to testing your clit with his tongue before dipping into your heat with his tongue sloppily tasting you and loving every second of it. Your fingers run through his hair squeezing it tightly as your thighs squeeze around his head. You moan breathlessly and it sounds like music to his ears though it's quite hard to hear with your thighs squeezing his head. He snakes his hand under your thigh and moves his mouth back to your clit before sliding two digits into your heat quickly pumping into you curling them perfectly to hit that one spot. Your legs start to shake around his head as you near your desperately needed orgasm. He speeds up with work with his mouth and fingers until you reach your finish, he slows down before taking out his fingers and licking them clean before licking up whatever he can from your heat. He trails back up your body with soft kisses before coming back up to your face giving him a long heated kiss with your juices still covering his beard. You take your hands down to his pants and start to unbuckle his belt eagerly, he reaches down to help and quickly frees his throbbing length from his jeans and boxers. 

You look down admiring his girth and length, he moves your head with his finger under your chin so you're looking him in the eyes. “Are you sure you still want this darling?”

You whine a soft “Please~” and he dives into your neck kissing it yet again as he guides his throbbing tip to the head of your entrance, he slowly pushes fully in stretching your walls just perfectly to fit him. He starts with slow and shallow thrusts as he pulls away from your neck to watch how you reacted. You breathlessly moan softly looking into his eyes. “Faster John..” He listens almost instantly and speeds up his pace pulling almost completely out before sliding back into you. He helplessly takes one of your nipples back into his mouth, his beard slightly tickling you as you wrap your legs around him. What would Joseph think if he saw us right now.. You push that thought into the back of your head as John starts to grow rougher with you almost slamming into you at a fast speed. The sound of skin slapping together fills the room with occasional moans, whimpers, grunts and groans. You claw at his back as his thrusts turn into ramming into you taking your breath away every time. Your walls squeeze tightly around him sending him over the edge as he pulls out at the last second finishing all over your stomach, he grounds and almost whimpers as he finishes. 

He carefully kisses you before getting up and fixing himself back into his pants before leaving to get a towel for you. “You okay darling?” He looks at you with a reassuring look before leaving to get a towel. “Perfect” You say with a soft voice while looking at him. He smiles and disappears before coming back with a wet hand towel to clean you up carefully. You lean against him as you snuggle while he wipes you clean, you look up at him starstruck. He chuckles looking down at you. “Would you like to stay for a while longer? Or do you have somewhere you need to be?” You give him a soft smile and gladly accept his offer to stay. He kisses your forehead before taking the rag to his dirty laundry basket, he goes over to his closet and finds one of his old hoodies and grabs it before coming back and helping you put it on. It was baggy on you and you looked so cute in it. “I can wash your clothes tomorrow darling”

He climbs back into bed with you as soon as he lays down, you're snuggling up against him with him holding you carefully. He strokes your hair lovingly before saying something that kind of caught you off guard, “If you ever have lustful feelings of sin again, don't hesitate to come back. I will always welcome you with open arms.”

[henshin-4]

Look, I yell that I hate the BT and DZ fandom (and honestly the Jrock fandom in general) a lot. Not everyone tho, my friends are BT and DZ fans, they are the evidence to me that not everyone is trash. And I have spoken to some people online that... well the chats die or we don't really get along too well but they weren't bad people at all, not getting along isn't enough for me to scream they suck cause sometimes stuff just doesn't work and that's fine.

I wanna explain what I mean when I yell about the trash of the fandom. I won't be giving names (except one), but I will be giving reasons.

We have:

Clowns who go "minors DNI" but will send and request nudes when in contact with 17 year olds AND UNDER or write insanely sexual stuff around them. (17 is still a minor, pedos, and everything under that age is even fucking worse)

People who claim Atsushi was abusive towards his cats cause the cat pics are "clearly" just for attention... like bruh, there are quite some cat pics, sure, especially of Tsubaki... but do you even realize for how many years this man had cats? Compared to those years, there aren't many pics at all... that is like just a few pics per year, probably not even once a month. If he wanted to "exploit his cats for attention" he would have made a social media where he would show content of his cats daily doing the weirdest shit with them. Did he? No. He wasn't abusive.

Fuckers that claim Atsushi was a predator, especially towards young girls... uhhuh, look idk if you've seen this man before but if he would go after anyone it'd be your grandparents.

We have some hypocrite clowns who will indirectly call your work or art trash or will otherwise offend you and then yeet a "lol" behind it.

Clowns without a personality who just copy whoever the fuck they last spoke to, different person every week the fucking mysteryboxes of the fandom and sadly they often copy someone from the rest of this list.

People who want to share content but if the content is already online, will bully the other uploader to take it down (have heard too many stories about this, too many people had it happen to them but haven't seen it myself. Yet, Ive heard it more than once so I believe it)

Ableists... yeah people, autism and ADHD really do exist, other mental illnesses can also make people be a bit weird sometimes, some of us are really struggling with it... it's not fake news -_-

Stalkers.

Art thiefs.

Hypocrites (will complain about what someone else did and then do the exact same like it isn't an issue anymore suddenly)

And as much as I want to avoid names... if I have to explain this one we'll be here for a month so uh... if I say "Gekka Reijin" most people will understand what I mean cause holy FUCK get professional help...

Like I am also not a fan of gatekeepers, people who are insanely quickly offended even if you didnt mean to offend them and they won't forgive it no matter what (like bruh I say sorry and didn't even mean it the way you all see it but whatever I guess. Why did this happen several times I am literally trying to be careful about what I say and how I say it. Idk what to do anymore about this), people who will fight you over having a different opinion and people that just suddenly ignore you while you don't even know wtf happened (like wtf just tell me what your problem is cause idk what I did)... but they aren't necessarily bad people, I just don't work with them but they are NOT what I mean when I'm bitching about the fandom... even tho I don't like em. It's the disgusting fuckers that I yell about.

Anyway my DMs are open ONLY to people who do NOT identify with this goddamn list. If you are like any part of the list, please do not speak to me.

Minors can talk to me but not about NSFW topics.

P.S. I'm also not a fan of the VK war fighters. BT is VK or BT isn't VK. Toll said they aren't VK but if someone wants to believe BT is VK then whatever... no need to start a whole war about it. Also other Jrock related social wars like just let people be... like you can yell about it, sure, but omg don't scream at people specifically and call them names just cause you don't agree with em.

[ciera-richez]

Hello ! I hope this message finds you well., and I hope you won't take this the wrong way.

I've been a huge fan of RK for years now (since 2009) I don't believe they are together anymore but I've been through their highs and their lows - especially summer 2012 - I will love and support them no matter what. I will always champion them no matter what they do.

I'm not here to lecture you on what you believe is true or not, I actually wish you were right, but because of what's been happenning recently (with Suki's pregenancy - which I also think is fake btw - )

I've been reflecting on the past a lot, (the twilight era) and this is what I've realised : I personally complained so much about the paps, the way media treated them and their relationship back then, without realising I was part of the problem because I was obsessed with them. I acted like I knew them personally, (still do sometimes - I'm working on it -) completely forgetting that I was a stranger to them and they didn't even know that I exist. I feel as if I treated them like comodity and not real people with feelings.

That being said, I also know their situation is/was particular because I've NEVER seen a Hollywood couple that was as coveted and envied as them.

Not even Brangelina; and when they started dating in 2008, social media was just starting to blow . They basically had to learn to navigate that on their own. Like K said in an old interview, they didn't have examples on how to deal with that because their circumstances were all new in Hollywood. So they had to make their own way to deal with that new level of attention and scrutiny.

All this to say that I feel guilty they weren't able to enjoy their relationship in the public eye; (like PDA for example) because of this crazy obsession the general public had and still has with them.

When I saw how people reacted to catherine casually mentioning Kristen at Rob's birthday I unterstood completely their need to hide (if they're stil together) or not to see each other as publicly since their break up. Because I'm sure they see each other once in a while. Just because there are no proof, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

One thing I'm sure of right now is we probably won't see them together in public for long time if ever again. At least, I'm not holding my breath for it.

If people stopped being sooo invested in RK's personal lives maybe we would see them together again. IDK.

That was my two cents, I'm sorry if it was too long. thank you for reading. Have a good day.

Sissi

A lot of the points you made, I've either said myself, or I agree with, so thank you for your input! I don't mind that it's so long...sometimes people just have a lot to say. 🤷‍♀️

[snootlestheangel]

Soap

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

Gaz

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Ghost

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Price

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Nik

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Kate

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Soap

12. My headcanon is that he's horrible to live with. There's a lot of evidence in the campaign stories to kinda imply that he's not shy about getting dirty and I feel like that's just cause he is. He just doesn't keep a clean area at home when he's off duty. Part of it might be he doesn't feel pressured by the demands of military living, but idk. He's terrible about cleaning up after himself, hardly does the dishes, doesn't really clean. And I also feel like he's incredibly loud at home. Like he stomps. You cannot tell me this man doesn't stomp everywhere. I'm sorry, I just refuse to believe he wouldn't. He just isn't aware he's being that loud, definitely. And if you were to say something he's definitely taking it seriously and being more conscious of his noise level.

13. 🫡 avid user of the salute emoji. It feels right

Gaz

12. A nerd. He's a big fan of DND. He's the type of gamer to play all the Halo games on the hardest difficulty like it's nothing. Absolutely was the type of kid to get in trouble for staying up late gaming. His mother definitely had a moment where she's complaining about him playing games all the time and he definitely (being the sassy bastard he is) bites back with "at least I'm not doing drugs or committing crimes". Of course one of his sisters calls out the execution thing they witnessed in one of his games. His mom gave up, cause at least he isn't doing drugs.

5. I have no idea tbh.

Ghost

12. You know that trend of girls and stuff being like "my man sleeps like those paintings of a passed out maiden"? Ghost would be one of those guys. Armed draped dramatically over his face and other on his belly. A dramatic sleeper

2. That he's actually so chill. If I'm remembering this correctly, in the comics he's like being really gentle with kids. He called a hostage "love", he's telling terrible dad jokes to his teammate to help him stay sane during a really stressful situation. He's just actually out here vibing

Price

12. I feel like he snacks on the weirdest things but also like they're still perfectly normal things to snack on. Like celery? Good snack, especially dipped in something or with peanut butter. Price? Just monching straight celery. Like apply that to most other snacks and that's Price being weird

1. He's such a cocky piece of shit and I love it. He's intelligent and cunning and dangerous and holy fuck- *I'm gonna stop talking*

Nik

12. Doesn't have any surviving family, but if he did, they'd still be hella close. It just feels like he gets his fierce loyalty from his family. It feels like he's the type of person to be like "we're family, of course I got your back" and it's something he has because he grew up in a family very much like that

22. I love when people really explore the sketchy side of Nik. Like the fact he's got connections that he really shouldn't. I don't really read enough with Nik in it so I don't know what I wouldn't like. There's the obvious and general "diminishing this complex character to a single trait or characteristic and calling it a day" when he's playing a more centric role in the story.

Kate

12. Used to be a heavy smoker, but quit after a while. Started smoking in high school and smoked well into adulthood. Eventually stopped when she realized how it was affecting her health. She occasionally still has a cigarette every now and then but it's more of a test of her self control at this point

15. Her wife! I don't know, but I am fiercely protective of her status as a married woman and her wife!!

[cookinguptales]

I found you through AO3 bc your nandermo fics devastated me and really helped kick off my newest special interest and I enjoy your metas a lot. I was sad when I saw your post about being disheartened by lack of interaction. I really struggle to communicate, especially online and especially when going through things, but I wanted to say that I really like what you write and your insight and thank you for creating. I wish I could interact more often and more specifically than leaving kudos. I had a moment of social energy and I wanted to use it to send this since I’ve been thinking about your post for awhile. Sorry for rambling awkwardly, just thanks.

I really appreciate that you put the effort into sending me this message, especially because it sounds like it's not something that's necessarily easy for you to do. That was really kind. Thank you.

I was mostly talking about wider fandom trends and my experiences in other fandoms; like I mentioned in the post, wwdits fandom has actually been one of the best experiences I've had in fandom in years. (Uh. Certain anons aside. lmao.) I get more interaction here than I have in a long time, and it's one reason why I keep writing fic and meta.

I will say that it's still... frustrating, I guess, the way that social media is kind of where fic goes to die these days, even in wwdits fandom. I do still think it's largely because you have to click off the "social" site to read the fic, and AO3 in and of itself was not meant for extensive social interaction. So you do still lose out on the kinds of social interaction that other kinds of fanwork (including meta, for that matter) seem to enjoy.

I would say that the way my meta is received vs. the way my fic is received is drastically different, and I really didn't start making as many friends on tumblr until I started posting it. The fic was definitely not enough, no matter how many people enjoyed it. Again, they might list me as an author that they enjoyed, but not an actual fellow fan that they liked to interact with. I guess that's the part that's a bummer. There is a more collaborative feel to certain kinds of fanwork, and fanfic used to have that feel.

Now, though, it can be very isolating and I do see a tendency to separate author from fanwork. That can feel weirdly like erasure, like people don't want you to exist, only the work you can give them. I've even seen people complain that author's notes exist because they don't want anything to "distract" from the fic. Like an artist existing distracts from the art...? That's frustrating.

I do think it's related to greater trends re: nonconsensual commodification of art, pressure to commodify hobbies, monetization of fandom, art as "content/product" and art enjoyers as "consumer/customer", etc. It does remind me in some ways of the way that people do feel... entitled, I guess? To various artists' output as separated from the artist. (See: misuse of art for AI.)

It does feel extra frustrating to see this forced upon fanfic, though, considering that it's one of the few types of fanwork that still exists in a real legal gray area re: monetization. It's like we get saddled with all of the downsides of commercialization with none of the benefits. I feel like we should be able to opt out of all this commercialization bullshit if we're not even getting paid to deal with the shitty dehumanizing parts. lmao

Ah, I'm getting distracted again.

I guess it's nice to just actually see people talk about something you've created and interact with it. Not just leave a comment to you personally, but show it to their friends, put stuff in the tags, ask questions, start discussions about it, etc. You know, the kind of stuff that happens with other kinds of art on social media. (Meta very much included!) Things that make it feel more like you exist in a community rather than just... idk, putting down something you've made and watching it get consumed absent your presence.

I guess... to extend the metaphor, I may be the cook but I still want a place at the table. The difference between making dinner for your family vs. making dinner for a customer at a restaurant, y'know? I wanna sit down and talk, not just perform. There's a lack of community these days that I really miss.

I guess all this is mostly just nostalgia for an older form of fandom. Fic did used to feel a bit more like an interactive art form back in the LJ days. (And before, I guess.) A conversation, if you will. Sometimes that could be irritating (remember back when reviewers could be put in the fics and such on ff.net? lmao) but sometimes it was really nice.

I SOUND REALLY OLD NOW... There are some things about modern fandom and AO3 in general that I really like, especially the ability to search and filter in ways that really weren't possible ~back in the day~. But... yeah, I do feel like we've lost something, too, by making fanfic almost too easy to "consume" outside of the rest of the social fandom space.

I guess I'll go take my cane and sit down now lmao.

[bisolationist]

Wtf wtf im soooo mad. Why are women blaming me for having a female abuser do they fucking think i got to pick the sex of that fucking bitch. The first fucking thing that comes out of their mouth is "well maybe she's...." followed by a buttload of excuses. Maybe she's had a bad childhood, maybe because she's under pressure because we live in misginsytic society and your dad doesn't help her. Maybe because this because that what the actual fuck.

I've seen these women treat "normal" abuse survivors with the utmost grace and kindness but because my experience was different I don't get to be affected by my personal experiences.

If I express discomfort at having to visit a female gyno, being alone with a woman, being scared of women and all that im a whiny asshole who doesn't understand what real abuse is and it doesn't even matter anyway because men are worse just get over it already.

Why the fuck won't they let me by traumatized peacefully why are they punishing me for my abuse. The day I told my best fucking friend how I felt uncomfortable when the first girl I've ever been intimate with wouldn't stop when I told her to she said well she would never do that, I felt my heart break into million pieces.

Idk what other women want from me do you want me to apologize because the people who took advantage me were both women is that waht you want. Why the fuck is it surprising for you that a person who was abused/sexually assaulted or whatver by a woman might not be comfortable around women.

Why couldn't you have been nice to me. I didn't even ask you to fight for me or fight for victims of female abuse/SA. All I expected was inaction. I expected you to not belittle my pain I expected you to not find excuses for them i expected you to not react poorly because I fucking know you know how to react towards victims of abuse. Why couldn't you have extended that sympathy to me ?? Why does all your sympathy go towards understanding why my mom abused me

I've never done anything bad to you why would you do this to me?? What did I do to deserve this from you ?. You talk all day about female/class solidarity whatever you wanna call it but yeah

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm alshing out at you. Im not <3 you're a really nice guy. It's just that I feel like other women's kindess/support etc is extremely conditional and men would use what happened to me as an excuse to be misogynistic assholes.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this anon. I understand the frustration so much, especially at the fact that people are always trying to make excuses. I've definitely had that with my mother. I'm actually very cognizant of the ways misogyny has impacted her life; it doesn't mean her abuse was in any way mitigated or justified and bringing it up as an excuse is completely fucked up. I can't even imagine someone trying to go down that line with my rapist; I would lose it. That's part of why I never ever talk about it IRL. You're not wrong for dealing with your trauma in your own way. Nor are you wrong for wishing you could have a little compassion and understanding from people that claim to be on the side of victims. The only thing I want to say is that, I would be careful of implying victims of male abusers are generally treated well. They also get awful treatment from women and men alike. I know you were complaining about individuals, but since you are an anon I want to clarify so it doesn't get generalized. Sorry just thought it was worth mentioning.

[kim-ruzek]

its obvious this child loves adam more than kim just like you burzeks hate mom kim and prefer dad adam no matter how much you deny it! your friend lauren admitted she hates that mack call kim mom and likes dad adam more! your other friend mina has made dad adam thread but not mom kim thread! you all can deny you dont hate mom kim and pretend you like dad adam and mom kim equally but all your actions show otherwise! whenever there is dad adam scene you all talk about it for days. but when there is mom kim scene you all barely talk about it. theres only been 1 cute mom kim this season for only 2 minutes vs atleast 5 cute dad adam scenes and no one of you all noticed or complained about this. if this way other way around you all would have complained about this. this is why i wish kim will die because you all disrespect her too much and does mack! mack does not deserve kim!

I'm sorry I have no idea who the fuck you're talking about. My only friend who's called Lauren lives in Wales and has absolutely no interest in fandom (and also primarily goes by her nn lol) so idk who you think are my friends but I don't know them.

Also your facts are further wrong because we do gush and scream over cute mom kim scenes. I literally still get tags recommended to me like that whenever I type Kim.

And there's been more dadam scenes this year because his focus has been all about him really stepping and growing into the role of dad...whereas Kim already has with her mom storyline, this year for her has been about her own mental health growth.

Yet again I have no idea who those people are (twitter folks? My twitter is primarily used for the rookie and keeping up with my old na pals) but they don't speak for everyone and they don't speak for me. Because I adore mom kim (actually more than I adore dadam, so you're wrong on that front. Although it's only just about, and more because Kim is my favourite character marginally over Adam and also because mom and daughter bonds to me are so special especially single mothers).

Plus anyone who hates Kim's child calling her mom has misunderstood the whole last three seasons and most likely has internalised misogyny.

Finally, you don't want Kim to die because we've "disrespected" her (because one you've clearly seen a lot of my posts and others which show otherwise) but because for whatever reason you hate Kim/Adam/Burzek because here's the thing, people who are passionate about a character doesn't wish death upon them to escape perceived bad writing because death is an extreme and horrible thing.

And they sure as hell don't think a literal child doesn't deserve her wonderful adoptive mother.