#idk i'm just really worn down and kind of sick

[kitashousewife]

we're in trouble now

an: Halloween vibes? but not really? idk sort of kind of based on bad, bad, bad by LANY

pairings: geto x fem!reader

warnings: MANGA SPOILERS (vol 0, geto's past/high school years) mentions of: killing, curses, death, blood, police, crime, throwing up/gagging. sorcerer au, reader is not a sorcerer. established relationship, pet names, angst to comfort kinda? geto is just a little troubled, lowercase intentional

-

geto has been...off lately. and you're not sure why. he's been coming home later and later each night, causing you to lie awake in your shared bed, staring up at the ceiling, worried out of your mind.

it must be his job.

you've been dating for three years now. you knew before you started to date that he was a jujutsu sorcerer. he told you one night at the fanciest restaurant in tokyo, flushed cheeks and stuttering over his words. you couldn't care less, though. if anything, it was fucking hot to have a sorcerer as a boyfriend.

his job never got in the way of anything, though. he had amazing friends, who you've spent lots of time with. he was always home before dinner, never leaving on missions any longer than two days, even offering to take you along.

the last time that happened was about five months ago.

now it's 3:30 am, and you've found yourself in bed by yourself. again. calling him again, the line goes to voicemail almost instantly. you huff and throw your phone on the bed, watching it bounce before it lands face up. to your surprise, he's calling you back. rushing over, you leap onto the mattress, answering as quickly as possible.

"s-sugu? baby, are you alright?" your voice shakes. you're not sure why your chest feels so tight, why your breaths seem harder and harder to take.

geto feels the same way. he always does after he finishes off another one.

phone between his ear and shoulder, geto stands in front of a public restroom sink, scrubbing his hands for the third time in a row. the cheap soap does nothing to get rid of the blood that stains his fingers, deep in every crevice of his skin. looking at himself in the mirror, he feels an incredible sense of guilt.

"yeah, i'm fine baby. hey can you do me a favor, sweetheart?"

you can hear his voice echoing, almost as if he's in a pool.

"s-sure, where are you?"

geto feels guilty. he doesn't mean for you to be this upset. he also doesn't want to lie to you.

the four bodies behind him in the open stall are making it a little tough.

"oh i've just been finishing up work," one of the bodies, eyes still open, stare right at geto through the reflection of the mirror as he speaks. "i'll be home soon though, darling. i promise."

he hits mute as a shaky sigh leaves his lips. he peeks at his reflection once more, watching as the shirt worn by one of the dead bodies soaks up more blood. one of the bodies lets out a liquidy gurgle that echos off the tile walls. geto can almost see the last bit of life escape them, floating up into the air to join the rest of those that died the same way these ones did.

"what was the favor you needed?"

geto feels sick now. your voice so sweet, so innocent and airy. he can't you're with someone like him.

a killer.

sneaking out of the bathroom and to his car, he unmutes himself.

"could you grab a couple suitcases from the closet? pack up enough for a few days, and could you pack a little for me as well?" he buckles himself in and just as he starts his car, the sound of sirens appear in the distance.

"yeah, i can do that," you stand up, heart still racing. did you have a trip planned?

turning down different back alleys, stalling for a second as the sirens get closer, geto takes a deep breath.

"you're an angel. i'll be there soon. i love you, my perfect girl."

you end the call and begin to do as you were asked. filling the suitcases as quick as you can, you don't pay much attention to the outfits you've created. you don't even know where you're going, anyway. you smile, picturing in your mind a quick little getaway for the two of you. sightseeing, sleeping in, and spending time away from work.

you still feel a little off.

where was he?

the door bursts open, presenting a very flustered geto. his bun is almost out, dark tresses barely hanging at the nape of his neck. the pieces that fell out stick to his face from what looks like sweat. his pupils are blown wide, mouth slightly agape as he breathes heavily. you drop the t-shirt of his out of your hands and scramble to your feet.

"s-sugu? oh my god, what happened to you? did you get mugged? d-did someone try to kill you? oh my god," you gasp, hands reaching for every part of his body to make sure he was in one piece.

geto swallows back the guilt induced vomit that sits at the back of his throat. "no, baby, not at all," he coos down at you, but his eyes look anywhere but your face. they check each window and door, before eyeing the suitcases. "thank you so much for doing this. we're going away for a few days, is that alright?" he says with a smile. cupping your face ever so lightly with his slightly stained fingers. he's thankful you forgot to turn on the lights.

"of course, suguru. are we going far? let me make something to eat," you pull him towards the kitchen, but he tugs you back.

"we can eat when we get there, i promise. let's just get going," he speaks quickly, eyes still checking the windows.

"is everything okay?" you say, copying his stares out the window. he notices and grabs his suitcase and yours, before heading towards the door. he almost throws up again, torn between telling you everything and keeping you in the dark. he swallows hard.

"the car is on, i can explain everything later. we'll be just fine, i promise." you smile, feeling a little more at ease. with a nod, you grab a jacket and head out the door.

as soon as you get to the car, geto opens the passenger door for you and puts the suitcases in the back with speed. you haven't even buckled your seatbelt by the time he starts to drive away.

"it's 4:30 am baby, we don't need to race! it's not like anyone is on the road," you laugh and reach your hand to hold his. he jumps when you touch him. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean to scare you," you mumble, and he gives you a small smile, which fades as soon as the faint sounds of sirens fill the air. his stare jumps up to the rearview mirror, and he takes a sudden sharp turn that has you jumping in your seat.

"suguru! what is going on?"

he turns down another street and speeds up a little bit.

"angel, i've gotten myself into a bit of trouble, okay? everything is gonna be just fi-"

"what did you do?" your voice is stern, but geto gives you a smile, eyes softening as he drives down a back road.

"i'll explain everything later, just like i promised. for now, i need you to trust me, okay?"

your mind and stomach scream no no no at you, but your heart takes over.

"okay, i trust you."

-

you must have fallen asleep at some point on the drive, because when you open your eyes you're met with sunshine and costal views.

"there she is, good morning darling. we're almost there."

blinking a few times and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you realize that you have pulled into a small town next to the ocean. geto appears to be more relaxed. you reach around for your phone, but you can't seem to find it.

"are you looking for your phone?" you nod. "i put it in my bag for you. i thought it would be good for us to stay off of our phones for the next couple of days. just time with each other, how does that sound?" his face beams at you from the driver's seat. you can't say no, especially not when he's being so kind and sweet.

"i think that sounds lovely."

you pull up to a motel, which looks as if it doesn't get a lot of business. you start to feel a little uneasy, and geto can sense that.

"wait right here, i'll get us checked in," he kisses your cheek and walks towards the motel office. now that you're a little more awake, you start to become hyper-aware of your surroundings. based off of the looks, you're at least four hours from home. you start to think a little more. was he running from the cops? what type of trouble is he in?

he returns quickly, room key in hand. he grabs the suitcases out of the car and you follow close behind him all the way to your room. as soon as you enter, he quickly shuts the door and locks it behind him. you have a seat on the old motel bed without a word.

feeling a little more relieved, he sighs and looks at you. worry all over your face, wringing your hands that are placed in your lap.

"isn't this nice? our own little place, right on the ocean. i know how much you love the ocean, we could even go check out the shops later!"

you don't say anything. geto begins to panic.

"are you hungry? would you like me to get some food for us? if you want, we could go-"

"why did you take me here?" your voice is nothing more than a whisper. you feel sick, you know something is terribly wrong. he kneels in front of you on the floor and grabs your hand.

"sweetheart, do you think humans are good people?"

you give him a confused look. "maybe not everyone, but most people i know are good people," you think out loud. geto's stomach feels a little uneasy.

"your asshole manager? you think that guy is a good person?"

"no, not him. but my other coworkers are great people, remember? you've met them!"

of course he has. he's been to many work dinners and events.

he also killed one of them last night, but he won't tell you that.

"darling, why do you think there is so much crime in the world? so many good people like you say, having their lives ruined by these terrible humans. wouldn't the world be a better place if they just...went away?"

your mouth opens slightly and you blink at him a few times. you start to sweat a little bit, and the room feels like it's caving in on the two of you.

"what are you suggesting?"

he comes to sit next to you on the bed and holds you in his arms.

"do you know what i do for work?"

he feels you nod into his chest. "you fight curses, right?"

"that's right. do you know why curses exist?"

you shake your head.

"because of humans. regular humans, like you, who can't fight or see curses. curses only exist because of them. they are able to flow through people and hurt them, which makes my friends and i come in to save them. that doesn't seem very fair, does it?"

you disagree. you know deep down that this isn't right, what he's implying is evil.

"w-well no, but-"

"do you know hard it is to fight curses? to even be around curses?" he stands up, voice raising. hot, angry tears fill his lash line. "do you know how disgusting my cursed technique is?"

your mouth opens and shuts, unable to form any words at all. you want to speak, but you simply cannot find the words to say. you know there is nothing. you can say to help him feel any better.

"i don't know but i want to, i want to understand you better," you mumble, lip quivering and voice cracking slightly. you feel terrible, you had no idea how much pain geto has been in. he paces back and forth in front of you, wiping his tears with his hands. suddenly he stops.

"you'll think that i'm gross, that i'm a monster," he rambles. you stand up, grabbing his hand and holding him close.

"i promise i won't. i love you,"

he takes a deep breath and backs away, leading you back to the bed to sit down. you continue to hold his hands in your own, attempting to provide any sense of comfort.

"i can summon curses. i can call them to help me fight, whenever i need them," he starts, glancing at you to see your reaction. to his surprise, you're completely neutral.

"that sounds really cool, sugu. what do they look like?" you ask, eyes wide and full of curiosity. geto can't help the smile that grows on his face at how innocent you are.

you are exactly why he wants this perfect world.

he raises his hand and a small curse appears. something kind of silly looking, much like a kids drawing with wings. you look at it for a second, before he interupts.

"can you see it?"

you nod. "that's good. some humans can see them, and some can't. this little guy is harmless," he waves his hand and the curse flies away, out the door and into the world.

"can you make bigger ones?"

he chuckles. "yes, some ten times his size, maybe even bigger. they all have different abilities, some are stronger than others," he looks at you once more, relieved to see that you're smiling.

"how do you get them, do you make them?"

geto doesn't say anything, but continues to stare at the carpet at his feet.

"i swallow them," noticing your confused face, he elaborates. "it turns into a ball, fits right in the palm of my hand, almost looks like a crystal ball," he swallows hard. "then i just...swallow it."

you nod and stroke his back. he shivers a little at the thought.

"it tastes so vile, so disgusting. i can't even describe the taste," he shakes his head, tears brimming his eyes once more. "tastes like death. which make sense," he sniffles.

"why, sugu?"

he looks at you, tears streaming down his face at this point. you brush them away with your thumb, but they keep falling.

"i'm a killer. you don't deserve me. i try to make this world a better place, one where i don't have to watch my friends die. one where i don't even have to worry about curses, one where i don't have to think about ever losing you," he raises his voice, each word coming out through choked sobs.

"i want to keep you safe. i want to be away from this, from everything. i want to protect you," he cries, and you pull him close. "god, everyone probably thinks i'm so fucked up. they probably thing im ruining your life,"

you shake your head. "people can think whatever they want." with a nod, he lays back down on the bed. you push the fallen strands out of his face, playing with them a bit to help him calm down.

"how long do you want to stay here?"

he wipes his face and props himself up on his elbows. "i dunno, couple of days at least,"

you nod. the two of you sit in silence. geto has run out of things to say, as have you.

it’s light outside, sunny and bright. the exact opposite of the mood inside of the dingy motel room. seagulls sing outside as they perch, happy tunes that almost make you laugh. you’re not sure what to think, what to feel.

“are we gonna be alright, sugu?”

he sighs. “i think so.”

[unfixablebabyyy]

so i just read You and was obsessed w the perspective and also i just love getting a lil peak into dennis's brain so this is a something i wrote idk (also slightly inspired by that one meme of that anime girl lol)

(nsfw, minors DNI)

Dee's taste in... well, everything is absolutely abhorrent, but her taste in people is especially repugnant, which is why I can't fathom why such a striking creature would ever consider her a friend. What do you see in her? She's annoying and rude and abrasive, but you, you're none of those things. And I knew that the second I met you, but I had to be sure. So for the last week or so I've been doing a bit of research and it turns out, you really are just perfect- kind, smart, fun, absolutely stunning. Your only flaw lies in the fact that you're so incredibly naive. You leave your doors unlocked, your windows open, you always walk around the city with headphones on and your face in your phone. You're such an easy target. Don't you know how sick the world can be? But it's ok, it's not your fault- you're prey. Good thing I've got my eye on you. I'll protect you, even if it means you never go outside off leash again.

And now, as you sit across the bar from me, I can smell your perfume and I just want to drown in it, in you. You're half turned away, joking with Charlie as he throws darts, and from your side profile I can make out the tiny bumps of your nipples under your shirt. The past three nights you've come with Dee to the bar, you haven't worn a bra. You're clever, but not subtle. It's beyond cute. When you turn to me, I make sure my gaze lingers on your chest a second too long. I want you to know that I noticed.

"Hey!" I could never get tired of your voice. I need to know what it sounds like after a long night of crying.

"I.D., please."

You giggle. I've been carding you since the first night you came in, it's become a joke between us. Really, I just love reminding myself how young you are. When you hand it over, I brush my fingers against yours. I pretend to examine it and nod approvingly before handing it back. You grin, and this time, you brush your fingers against mine.

"Alright, what can I get you?"

You bite your lip, "Surprise me." Of course you want me to decide for you. I smile. I could surprise you. I could slip you something and we could have a night full of surprises. But not yet.

"You got it." And I know exactly what I'll make you- I saw the cranberry juice in your fridge and the vodka on your counter while doing my research. You were at work.

"Just don't make it too strong." Don't worry, I won't start making them strong until you're at least three in. Your eyes go wide as the song playing over the jukebox changes from some Dire Straits Mac had put on to Depeche Mode. "Personal Jesus". Kind of on the nose, but you won't notice.

"Oh my god I fucking love this song," you're so bubbly, and I know, I saw the album sitting on your record player. That's why I queued it up when Dee mentioned you'd be stopping by.

"I saw them when I was in middle school," don't forget, I'm old enough to be your daddy. I was in my twenties when you were born. You like that- I can tell by the way your cheeks get a little more pink.

"Ugh you're so lucky, I would love it if they toured again," I slide you your drink and smile.

"Well, if they do, I'll take you." Did your dad ever buy you concert tickets? I bet he did.

"Then it's a date," now you're really blushing, "or whatever." You're so sweet it's making me lightheaded. 'Or whatever'? So submissive. I imagine if I were to take a bite out of you I might get a toothache.

"It can be a date," of course it's a date. You bring your drink to your lips and sip and god I wish I could just reach over and taste you. You smile as you set it down.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think maybe you like me," Like you? Last night I was looking at custom dog bowls for the cage I'm going to put you in. I can't sleep at night without touching myself to the thought of cumming inside of you, marking you, making you mine. I don't like you, I want to cut you open and crawl inside of your ribs and hold your heart in my hands.

"You're adorable," I could rip you apart with my teeth. You cross your legs and readjust in your seat. Again, not subtle. I wonder just how wet you are. I mean Jesus Christ, all I have to do is look at you and I can practically hear that little lamb heart beating in your chest, and I can only wear this wool for so long. Sooner or later you're going to see the teeth and the claws. Maybe they'll scare you, maybe not. Either way, it won't matter when they're making you bleed, and judging by how red your face gets when I speak to you, I think you'll bleed easy. Bruise easy, too.

"Do you flirt with all of your sister's friends?" you're starting to get a little bolder. I lean in so that my face is inches from yours, like I have a secret. Your eyelashes flutter.

"No. Only you," I won't play your games, I want my intensity to bring you to your knees. The last couple of days have been fun- toying with you, making you wonder whether my charming smiles and compliments and gentle touches were platonic or not. But it's time to show you who's in charge. You bite your lip. I swear to god I can smell the pheromones on you.

It doesn't take me long to get you drunk enough to slip out the back door with me while everyone else argues over a game of pool. You really are such a lightweight. As the door swings shut behind us, I cup your little face in my hands and press my lips to yours. I don't want to. What I want to do is rip your clothes off and pull you to the ground and watch as the panic begins to rise when I slap my hand over your pretty mouth to muffle you. But that could be dangerous and I have to control myself. You kiss me back and slip your hands under my t-shirt where they roam across my chest, up my shoulders, down my back. It's giving me goosebumps and making it harder not to hurt you. I decide to test my limits. When I push you up against the rough brick exterior, I shove a little too hard and you yelp. But it only seems to make you want me more. So when I lean in to kiss you again, I bite down on your bottom lip, and you moan. Of course you're one of those girls. You love the abuse.

My hand finds your neck and you gasp even though I don't tighten my grip- I just want you to know I could- I want to. Someday I will- I'll choke you so hard and for so long you'll pass out, and then I'll smack your face until you wake up, just to do it again. I'll make you beg for the privilege of breathing. But not tonight. If I ever want to get to that point, I have to stay focused. Besides, just the feeling of my fingertips on your throat is turning you on- I can feel a wet patch forming on my knee where I shoved my leg between yours.

The heat of your body is making your perfume stronger and I feel like I'm going insane, like I'm on the verge of doing something depraved. You push your hand into the waistband of my jeans, then my boxers, and I can't help but growl when your fingers wrap around my cock. As you start pumping your hand up and down, I lose myself for a moment and dig my fingers into your neck. You whine, and when I release, I notice the dark red crescents my nails left on your soft skin.

It's best if I make my hands busy, so I work on the button of your pants as you continue to play with me. I groan into your neck as you squeeze me hard. Pretty soon I'm going to have to pin your wrists to the wall. When you do it again I bite your neck hard enough to serve as a warning and you quickly soften your grip as your jeans inch down just enough. Good girl.

You shiver as the night air breathes down the alley. I can feel your pulse in your cunt as I touch you over your panties. You're so pathetic, you easy little whore. I haven't even bought you dinner and you're already about to let me fuck you stupid next to a dumpster behind my bar. But I won't. I'm gonna make you beg for it. I want you to be so achy and needy for my cock you'll let me do anything to you. I can't fuck you tonight, you haven't earned it.

I sigh and retract my hand. "You're drunk," I press my lips into the crook of your neck and practically feel you deflate against the wall. "Why don't I take you home?"

"Oh," your voice is so sweet and soft, "ok."

I pull away and brush a loose strand of hair from your face before planting a kiss on your lips. Relax, angel. I'm not done with you. You pull your hand out of my pants and the absence almost hurts.

"My car's just down the street, I'll tell Dee you got sick," I brush my thumb across your cheek and peck your forehead before snaking my arm around your waist and leading you down the alleyway. At the end, before we step onto the sidewalk, you stop.

"Did I do something?" Your eyes are so big.

"Consent is really important," I lie, "I just want you to feel safe with me," it'll be all the more enjoyable for me when you realize you're not. My answer seems to satisfy you.

When we get to my Range Rover, you raise an eyebrow, "Nice car."

"Thanks, Frank bought it for me when I got into Penn," it doesn't matter if it's true, now you think I know how to take care of something for a long time. I've established my ability to commit.

"Jesus, isn't that Ivy League?" And just like that, you see that I belong to an elite community of scholars.

"Yeah."

In the Range, you begin looking through my CD collection, pulling out albums you recognize, asking about ones you don't. You like old music, old cars, old men. You mention that your dad introduced you to Christopher Cross, so of course I slip it into the radio and skip to Sailing and tell you it's my favorite, which is true, but I happen to know it's yours, too.

I pretend to be lost and ask you where to go even though I've made the drive at least 20 times in the last week. When we get to your place, I park the car right outside of the familiar front doors and look up at your dark window.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" you spread your legs ever so slightly. So obvious.

"How about I cook you dinner tomorrow night," you'll act like a whore when I say, first I've got to teach you some manners.

"When?" you don't want to leave.

"I'll call you." Get out.

You step out onto the curb and wave.

"Goodnight," I say and you turn and head in. I don't leave until I know you're inside, safe. In fact, I don't really leave at all. I park the Range a block away and walk back. Your light is still off, but even in the darkness, I can see you up there. You really should close your curtains, especially when you're inside, naked and panting, humping your pillow like a bitch in heat.

[mcalhenwrites]

I'm having a rough time, and editing Seasons has been one of my only solaces lately. I've been wanting to work on other stories, but my heart just hasn't been in it. I don't think those side stories for Geckos are getting published in August, either. I don't even have them finished. I might work on them a bit this weekend during the lull. We'll see if I have energy?

About to get TMI and personal, though I don't want to get into some of it. I just know I want to make myself small and unseen and not a problem/burden, bc I sure as hell feel like one. I relate pretty hard to Shannon's character for a reason. :') (Right down to the suicide thoughts and attempts.) Anyway. My health plunged recently. My fibro has been in a real bad flare the past... Week and a half, I think? It has been excruciating at times. I call it my hugs of pain bc it really loves my upper back/right arm (all the way down from neck/shoulder to my fingertips). And I have no idea if I'm menstruating right now (I think I might be) bc I've been bleeding nearly every fucking day since I got an IUD inserted in late June. I've had these almost contraction-like pains but more focused on the right side of my abdomen. That's where I have a cyst that's nearly 3" in size, confirmed by an ultrasound the same day the IUD was put in. I get them frequently, but idk if it's the size of this one or the IUD or a mixture of both, but I'm having a rough time of things. I've called about it and thought the pain had eased up, but it keeps coming back. And yes, I do know what contractions feel like, so don't dare come at me for saying I'm describing something I've never been through. Financially, I just... I am struggling like hell and I'm so sick of it. I'm worn out from all this pain I'm in, but I'm still trying to do things like write (which is falling flat on its butt outside of Seasons), work my weekend job, keep things clean, run errands, and think of merchandise ideas for the tables I sell at. It's all complicated. Oh, I have been playing Wylde Flowers as a distraction too, though that kind of went weird when we had a tornado warning and I had to shut it off??? It was very unexpected, and luckily it didn't hit my area - well the derecho did, but the tornado was huge just very short-lived. Thank goodness. It was down and up again, I think. I thought I might deal with them less in Iowa but now I'm missing Kansas! Speaking of... the worst thing about this entire fucking financial situation is that I can't afford a house so I can get my dog back. My mom sends me frequent photos of him (and her dog too but I don't miss her that much tbh). He's such a good boy and I miss his sweet hugs and stinkiness. :( Yes, I miss him being stinky. Leave me alone. My dog is the best, and now that I work in a place where I see dogs and get to pet a few of them every day, I miss him even more. But he wouldn't adjust to apartment life. He's a pyrenees mix who weighs over 112 lbs right now, and he hates being photographed but will actually let my mom take them now if she says they're for me. ;A; Sweet boy! BEST BOY. God I miss him and he's turning ten in October and I'm afraid he's gonna get old and pass away before I get him back.

[meg2md]

Yooooo it's so hot outside, and the only place in my entire apartment with AC is the small window unit in my bedroom, but I don't want to be in my bedroom because that's the ONLY part of my apartment I've "seen" for the past 4 weeks on nights because all I do is come home and sleep and I REALLY want to dick around on the internet and play video games and finish Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow for book club tomorrow but it's so damn hot I can barely concentrate!!!

But

One more week of nights. ONE MORE. And then I'm officially a third year, which kind of blows, especially because last night was terrible. Got gaslit by an attending and cried in the signout room, then had my first bad cesarean delivery complication. :')

One of the interns told my co-resident that she feels safe with me and trusts my clinical judgement and is excited to work with me in a chief capacity, but I still feel like the world's biggest dummy. And next week, god, I do two nights of onc nights. Just me and the onc service. Duuuuuuude I'm so scared. Like my medicine friends have all dealt with a lot of the stuff I'm sure I'll get paged about, but I've been exclusively in charge of labor, antepartum, postpartum, and benign gynecology, which is mostly healthy people. Or unhealthy pregnant people, but I'm more familiar with those problems. Now I have to navigate SICK PATIENTS. Which is WILD. Things I anticipate getting paged about:

Afib/SVT

SOB/AHRF

Fevers

N/V, especially post-op

AMS

Hypotension

Decreased urine output

Vaginal bleeding

Medications

Post-op pain

And then I may also have to fill in the ORs if cases run late. I talked over some of these with my chief last night and she made it sound more manageable, but wow. I'm intimidated.

And to have to do onc nights and then roll up to present my research proposal and get asked questions I probably won't be able to answer in front of a crowd!!! Wow, kill me now. I don't have any idea what they're going to ask me or how to be prepared to answer their questions. But it's Friday morning so I'd best buckle up.

And then after staying late for research day, to have to show up to graduation and then back to the hospital for a night call shift, where at least I'll be back in antepartum/benign gynecology land.

I'm exhausted thinking about it. About how I'm going to survive this last sprint when I'm already so worn down and exhausted.

And then on top of ALL OF THAT my sink overflowed and massively damaged the apartment below me. I love being an adult!!!!!!

& I have to start organizing this webinar that I'm doing, so probably tonight I need to watch a couple of the pre-existing APGO ones. It's 7/10 and June is almost over. & I am trying to get the ball rolling on medical student surgical skill education but I didn't realize people had already tried to implement something and just didn't have time to make it consistent so now I feel like I'm walking all over people's toes. IDK. The politics of residency still baffle me. Is it ok for me to take over a project that has fallen to the way side? Who knows.

I'm just tired, and really hot, and very grumpy, and I have no motivation to do anything but have somehow thrown my laundry in the dryer, which is usually as far as I get, and then it sits there for days

[broodsys]

just life stuff, nothing bad. a little complicated, some heavy topics, but mostly just me feeling safer and more at ease with myself here at home

so i've found it kinda remarkable that like... okay, so i quit smoking weed like... fuck, idk. probably around 6-7 months ago now? and i'm still figuring myself out. like, i feel like i'm having to relearn myself from scratch. but that's not a bad thing and that's not rly what this post is about

what it is about is that i am making progress with my family. my brother has been a really, deeply triggering presence ever since he came back home, and i just... i couldn't talk to him, i could barely look at him, i just felt sick all the time that he was here

but he finally kinda... he started respecting my boundaries instead of trying to push them. and when i had to put my cat down, he was very kind. it was short, it was simple, but he was still very kind. and he's given enough and proved that he's willing to respect me enough that i've begun to talk with him again

we're not friends. we'll never be friends. but i never thought we could have anything like this kind of balance in our lives again. so it's a mix of a lot of things - i'm not smoking; i'm no longer so fucking worn out by school; i've made more friends and have a healthier balance to my life; and he started respecting my boundaries. but it's made the house feel a lot better to me

and in this recent ice storm he even came out and just helped me deal with an issue outside. it was nice. i just feel safe here in a way i haven't for a long, long time. or maybe ever. i still don't feel like... entirely supported or comfortable, i'm not saying that, but i feel safe and that's new territory for me tbh. a lot has happened these past few years and also over the course of my life that has led to me never really feeling safe anywhere ever, but i'm starting to get there

it's strange, but good. far from perfect, but better than it ever has been

[pacifymebby]

I’m in such a rut recently UGH 😭

Like I haven’t changed my bed in like 2 months😭😭it’s for sick on from a night out hahahah, my nails varnish is chipped which isn’t a big thing but for me it is cos I love doing my nails lol and idk I’m thinking of having a shower and driving to the coast?? But fuck knows if I’ll do that haha!

Ilyyyyyy hope u have a good day with boyf B xx

Aw angel, this absolutely sucks for you but maybe you're like, worn out and tired, and if you're not feeling 100% then how can you expect yourself to be on top of everything and "girlbossing" etc.

When I'm in that kind of rut (happens a lot tbh) I bribe myself to get steps done so like, plan a really cosy wee evening for yourself, like nice hot shower (idk if you can do this but, lighting candles and turning the big light off and then having a sitting down shower can be just as relaxing as a hot bath but for HALF the effort!! I used to do this all the time in halls) then you can change your bed sheets so you've fresh sheets on your bed, fresh jammies, have a hot chocolate and watch a comfort movie, and then make a little plan for your tomorrow that involves more baby steps towards getting your shit back together?

Or, this works for my friend who's a bit different to me

Adrenaline your way out of it so instead of a nice hot shower, take an icy shower that shocks your body into releasing a few feel good hormones and then see how that makes you feel.

[hopetorun]

from the otp ask, for matthew/leon! 5, 8, 19, 20, 27, 33, i'm cutting myself off here for this ask asdlkf

5. Describe their cozy night in.

they order takeout. they put on a movie or a tv show. matthew talks over half the movie, because he has opinions. leon tries several different tactics to get him to shut up, none of which are successful. the final unsuccessful tactic involves physically covering his mouth, which turns into a minor wrestling match. they have sex on the couch during the second half of the movie.

alternately: they order takeout. they put on a movie or a tv show. they snuggle up together once they're done eating and then fall asleep halfway through the movie.

8. What happens if one of them gets sick?

during the season, they're both the exact same kind of hypocrite who pretends there's nothing wrong when they're sick and frets aggressively when their partner is sick. (this also applies to injuries.) in the offseason matthew is the same way, he does not have a summer cold, he is just having some mild allergies, it is nothing to worry about.

offseason leon lets himself indulge in being a big baby about being sick. he is on the couch, he is letting matthew dote on him, he is whining constantly about how stupid it is to be on vacation and also sick. it's possible these two things are happening at the same time, in which case i think matthew would eventually be worn down and crawl into bed with poor sick leon so they can at least snuggle pathetically when they're not too busy sniffling.

19. How do they feel about PDA?

answered this specifically for hbn-verse here and i think that answer broadly applies outside of it. leon likes pda more. after a few drinks leon really likes pda. wasted leon will slow dance in a club to a song that is not meant for slow dancing, ideally with both hands on matthew's ass.

matthew is alternately extremely pleased by all the affection, a little embarrassed by just how public it all is, and willing to humor leon because he knows this is how leon acts when he loves someone. also he does enjoy how surprised and pleased leon is when matthew initiates some pda.

20. Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

idk if there's one that exactly captures the vibe but here's a few of my go-tos for them: everybody talks (neon trees), a little less conversation (elvis), one mississippi (kane brown), the kick (foxes)

27. Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?

they are both 100% sure that they can hold their liquor and that the other one is a lightweight. in practice, leon can hold his liquor better but he's also more easily goaded into overdoing it. kind of a wash. both of them have been on both sides of the puking and back-rubbing arrangement.

33. Who’s the better cook?

considering that matthew has been publicly accused of not being able to make eggs and leon has been publicly accused of burning water, this is a terrifying question. i guess matthew did do that hellofresh sponcon that one time. maybe he learned something? the most reliable cook in their household is doordash.

[firespirited]

Vague indefinable under the weather thing became a very defined half way down the head divide sinusitis mid morning.

It wasn't as easy to spot because there's just been ongoing 'ouch' of the head and face due to the neck issues but yeah you can actually see the swollen sinuses and that clear divide down the head is unmistakable. I really should have worn my mask on walks even though I don't approach anyone (except bully cops I guess) to avoid the pollen.

Then again, funny thing I went out with Sis this morning, it was cold so we were wearing masks for cold and the woodfires which give you a good lungful of nasty and we got lectured by a rando about how unnecessary it all is and how much money 'they' have made off this

and how his latest booster made him feel sick even though by his own admission he got covid the last time he went unmasked in public earlier this year.

I just cheerfully pointed out that the vaccine hurts less than the infection, masks are useful for more than just covid and thanked him profusely for doing his civic duty of masking in public transport and shops as an immunocompromised person. But like, dude, we have two really cute dogs and the weather's been interesting, half the country's protesting now that the government have shown they'd rather throw away democracy and our freedom of expression than tax a few corporations a little better (it is literally so little money that we could make buying back your own company stock from excessive profits illegal and collect double what's needed for pensions from just this year. The insistance that pensions must be funded by workers with no corporate or government help is stupid, the math indicated we won't be in the red til 2030 so tax some billionaires already, they can protest live in Monaco or Luxembourg (and get super bored and crawl back) if they insist on not leaving france's luxuries to far behind...

Oh look there so much to talk about that I got derailed (not that it takes much LOL) but mr man had to scold us for being silly gooses for wearing masks and tell us his incoherent but important thoughts on the matter. I know I'm probably contagious with a bad cold right now, didn't get to work that into the conversation though. Sis talked about how much more she's able to enjoy nature as an asthmatic since masks though so that was nice. We shot eachother a lot of subtle side eyes especially when he casually dropped that half the party he went to unmasked got horribly sick from that party.

If you feel like that dude, please do try different mask types and mask comfort aids. Everybody has to find what they can wear for long periods without pain. For me it's a China made K95, straps in the back, changed every hour so the sweat doesn't chafe my skin but I have to be really careful to not end up with an inperceptible flow of hot wet air straight into my right eye. Sis likes the fish shaped k94. Doc uses a duck shape for minimal face chafing.

I've put a few things on hold til my health gets slightly better. I really want to rework the neck on the lovely 1/6 bjd Maleficent sent and then paint her not with human blushing but like she's part of a crockery set. The one great auntie Francis left us a few years ago is a gold trimmed fruit motif and blue china is pretty but already done so I was thinking more along the lines of something with strawberries because I love her porcelain paleness and a strawberry motif would allow me to keep the face simple and stylized. (writing this down because ideas do sometimes spark during the SADS but I often completely forget them).

Jewel Richie had an 'incident' in the post and has been undeliverable since Thursday but amazon doesn't open the refund/rebuy options til tomorrow. I'll have to decide then. The vagueness of 'incident' made me think OK, maybe the roads/trains were blocked but the 'cannot be delivered' kind of implies the package got smashed up or in the same truck as idk a bottle of ink or something.

I think it's maybe why I had a doll dream, I imagined a rainbow high rolling into a roadside somewhere after someone forgot to properly shut the van doors or something.

Then again, I spent most of last night talking over (with my own brain) how the Shoah probably 'killed' Gd (mine the xian god who is supposed to have a personal relationship with people, not necessarily anyone else's - i can explain in detail if anyone is interested, the law of free will wasn't broken other xian specific things were) for me to an imaginary rabbi questioner (he was very nice, if pushing further than I dared to talk, in the daydream and had experience with christianity in the form of evangelicalism so I didn't have to explain certain concepts that are absolutely not in the Talmud and not really the new testament either.) and really felt my shame that a genocide unrelated to me shook a faith (xianity) that's a disrespectful sect of their faith. Nevertheless I was 10, and the idea that the gospels weren't the symmetrical conclusion to the Talmud was never in question and even considered blasphemy if I ever brought it up. I was such a different person by 14 then 16 facing it again. To think I thought jewish people were as brainwashed as I was into the belief that martydom is a noble death. Yeah I mentioned the nice fever dream about the dolls because many times sick musings end up in 'the roads not taken' , existential crises and lists of people who probably took years off my life. Fun stuff.

Lily is picking up this march, she is happy and well. I think she may have had a tough winter but for 14 she is very fit and still very much a mischief, she's started doing her upside-down dances, asking for fuss and thieving from my recycling bin again. I love her to bits.

Have a lovely day everyone. Stay safe and relatively sane ❤️❤️❤️

[syrupwrit]

Thinking about my Neria (Surana)

-

One of the core aspects of my Neria's character is that she's an elf who is totally non-elfy, culturally estranged, disconnected from other elves and somewhat resentful of their communities. She identifies more as a mage than an elf, and -- eventually -- more as a Grey Warden than a mage. But what others see when they meet her is an elf.

When Neria is younger, to compensate for feelings of forsakenness and powerlessness, she decides she's above common people, places herself in the company of great figures she admires, doesn't understand that her grandiose fantasies are opaque to others and would be considered laughable if they were legible. A part of her is permanently a little girl in the apprentices' library, daydreaming about summoning the ghost of whoever owned the grimoire she's currently reading To Be Her Friend (but not actually trying to do it, because she's scared and doesn't want to get in trouble).

More scattered thoughts:

When Neria first came to the Circle Tower as a very young child, she got sick and almost died. Wynne's healing stabilized her, saving her life. They don't remember each other at first when they meet again during Origins. They don't have a good relationship.

She is afraid of First Enchanter Irving.

The characters Neria gets along with best are Morrigan, Oghren, Loghain, and Velanna. The ones she gets along with least are Wynne, Alistair, Anders, and Sigrun.

Potential romantic/sexual relationships of Neria include: Cullen (mutually one-sided, ends badly after Broken Circle, possible reunion c. Inquisition/Trespasser); Morrigan (friends-to-lovers-to-enemies, fempreg Dark Ritual, complicated pining); Nathaniel Howe (friends-with-benefits arrangement, they don't really fit together but it works for a while, he develops feelings and she doesn't); the Architect (I'm writing a fic about this lol); TBD but I want another f/f ship for her. Something angst with Velanna could work, or I might create an OC. Maybe a lost Red Templar, or a woman living alone in the middle of nowhere For Reasons who finds her wounded and nurses her back to health.

To expand on that last bit: Idk, I just think it would be romantic if some random woman holed up in a cottage on a remote coastline to escape her troubles found an older, more monstrously darkspawn-like, terribly worn-out Neria washed up on the beach or passed out in the mouth of a cave and brought her home and took care of her. And she doesn't have any idea who Neria is or that she's a mage or a warden. She's just a random elf to this woman, who has a really tragic backstory and compelling reasons for being in hiding (that I will think of later). And Neria is feeling very guilty and defeated due to personal failures and is relieved to not have to be the Hero of Ferelden with this woman. But then whoever the woman was fleeing tracks her down, and Neria has to do magic to save her :)

After a few years of being a Grey Warden and living at the Vigil, Neria develops weird eating patterns. Drinks/chews/smokes a lot of stimulants, fasts for days or weeks, mostly eats to prepare for or recover from complicated exertions of spellwork. Oghren and Seneschal Garevel assume this is normal, but Velanna confronts her about it.

She has kind of like. A corruption arc. Younger Neria is innocent, vulnerable, well-intentioned, and empathetic; Older Neria is a genuine monster.

[overlord-off-record]

I don’t know what’s wrong with Hadrian. I, on the other hand, am suffering malaise of the sinuses accompanied by exhaustion and general strangeness of behavior.

Someone help me name this series.

---

Hadrian Greenclaw left his meeting with the Heterodyne feeling both confident and cowed, and overall rather pleased. The crisp autumn night felt good, and the breeze tasted of woodsmoke and new beginnings. Alight with civic pride, he decided to take the long way home, to enjoy the perfect Mechanicsburg evening.

One of the more contrary Jägers waved at him on the way past, and Hadrian failed to take warning. Basking in the Heterodyne's favor, he waved back. Jorgi gave him a pointy grin.

"Hyu'z pretty beeg schtuff now."

Internally, Hadrian agreed, but he said, "Time will tell." Best to exercise caution. He continued on his way, not really reflecting on receiving unexpected attention from a Jäger. Even if he had, it may not have saved him.

As he rounded a corner, something snatched him up from above. He suppressed a yelp, as any true son of Mechanicsburg would, and he looked upward. Wings darkened the sky, the shape almost like a modified Torchman. Who would dare…?

It deposited him on a rooftop and continued on into the night, denying him any decent glimpse of it. Rude. Scowling, Hadrian dusted himself off.

"Hadrian Greenclaw."

He froze, his gaze skimming the roof for the source of the voice. How had he missed noticing—There. A man lounged against a mostly-decorative gargoyle, blending too well with the architecture. Hadrian squinted into the shadows. "You could have made an appointment."

"I don't think so." The man stepped forward, melodramatically allowing the faint light from below to catch at his crimson hair, his pince-nez, his flawlessly tailored coat. Tarvek Sturmvoraus. Of course Hadrian had seen him around town, but from a distance. He suppose it reasonable that once he had drawn the attention of the Heterodyne, her playthings would also take notice. He tried for indifference.

"No? What urgent matter cannot be discussed over tea or aperitifs?"

Sturmvoraus fixed him with a sharp stare that made Hadrian wonder about the rumors he had heard of this man. Hero of the siege, master of the weasels, and all that rubbish. But this man before him looked nothing like the fashionable fool who laughed and made ill-advised bets with the Jägers. This man looked like murder wrapped up in silk and velvet.

"Vanamonde von Mekkhan," Sturmvoraus growled, something Sparky thrumming in the lower registers of his voice. Hadrian suppressed a shudder. Wulfenbach was the dangerous one, the one with terrible impulse control and a strong tendency to leave a trail of explosions wherever he went. Still, it was widely whispered that the Castle had grown fond of both of them, so Sturmvoraus must have a more lethal side. But Vanamonde…?

"I thought you were the Heterodyne's toy," Hadrian said, then marveled at his own ability to stick his foot in his mouth. He followed his unfortunate remark with another: "What on earth does von Mekkhan have to do with you?"

He might as well have offered insult to Sturmvoraus' entire bloodline, the way his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. "Vanamonde is my friend," he growled, his voice softer and, terrifyingly, Sparkier. "You damaged him."

Hadrian bristled. "Oh, he was asking for it." Uh-oh. Why did he let this man provoke him?

"You. Do. Not. Harm. My. Friends." With each word, Tarvek Sturmvoraus prowled nearer, his head tilted low like a predator's, his shoulders tense but his limbs unsettlingly loose, relaxed, ready to strike. Hadrian scoffed.

"I do what needs doing, just as my family has always done."

"What needs doing?" Sturmvoraus echoed, his voice still soft. He gave a little shake of his head. "No." With a speed that took Hadrian entirely by surprise, Sturmvoraus struck, hurling him off the roof.

Hadrian entertained a brief contemplation of his own mortality before he slammed against something solid, which swore and deposited him right back on the roof. "You idiot! We discussed this! No killing!"

Sturmvoraus affected an air of aggrieved dignity. "Please. I knew you would catch him."

"How did you know that?" Hadrian ventured. He probably should not have asked.

"Because she's been following me all evening."

"Because Tragic Falls are so childishly easy they come free with most assassination contracts."

Sturmvoraus momentarily lost interest in his prey. "Are you calling me childish?"

"No. I'm calling you simple."

Hadrian's attempt to sidle away failed when he choked back a snort. They both returned their attention to him, so he said, "Are the two of you siblings or something?"

"I'm killing him," Sturmvoraus declared.

The woman who had saved Hadrian rolled her eyes. "You are not killing him. Agatha likes him." She jabbed a finger at Sturmvoraus. "So does Van."

"He tried to kill Vanamonde."

"It was a misunderstanding," Hadrian insisted. He felt a bit awful about it, but only because he had been wrong about Vanamonde. He would not hesitate to kill any traitor.

"Those wounds are no misunderstanding." Sturmvoraus glared, but his associate would have none of it.

"Come on," she scoffed, "how many times have you and Gil damaged each other?"

"That's different."

"You might at least ask Van his opinion before skulking off to avenge his wardrobe."

"Violetta—"

"Don't bother denying it."

Hadrian wondered at his life, that he could have such a nice evening, and then in the space of a few minutes watch it collapse into attempted homicide followed by theater of the absurd. He shook his head at the both of them. Sturmvoraus noticed, and renewed his murderous mission.

"You," he said. "Greenclaw. You will not harm Vanamonde von Mekkhan ever again."

The man's tone rankled. Hadrian glared. "Under whose authority?" As though rule of law had much to do with him anyway. To his surprise, Sturmvoraus scoffed.

"You think authority has anything to do with it?"

Hadrian shook his head. "Why should it? You did just try to kill me."

Violetta rolled her eyes. "Not very hard," she grumbled, and in utter defiance of his better judgment, Hadrian found himself growing a little fond of her surly demeanor. It helped that she reacted to Sturmvoraus with scorn and disdain.

"You really don't need to menace me over the seneschal," Hadrian said. "Not that you're terribly good at it," he added, lying just to provoke Sturmvoraus. He had definitely thought he would fall to his death a few minutes ago.

"Hm," Sturmvoraus said, his eyes narrowed and his head tilted a little to one side. A bit of a catlike smirk played about his lips in a most chilling way, proving Hadrian wrong. He stood his ground, and he loathed every single hair that rose on the back of his neck.

"If it's all the same to you," Hadrian said, feigning nonchalance, "I do have better things to do with my time. It's been… enlightening, but I'd best be on my way."

"No."

Something in the simplicity of the reply incensed Hadrian, reminding him that this man enjoyed high social standing far beyond Mechanicsburg, far from the golden light of the Heterodyne's favor. "Valois." He spat the name as an insult, rather more reflexively than by intent. Schooling his face not to show it, he braced for retaliation.

Sturmvoraus laughed.

Unable to hide his confusion, Hadrian glanced at Violetta, then back to Sturmvoraus, whose amusement seemed genuine enough. What trick was this?

"Oh, stop that." Violetta slapped at Sturmvoraus' arm, but his mirth would not be contained.

Hadrian considered the Sparky tones in the man's voice moments earlier. They should probably flee. "That was funny?" Sure, fine, some people just had no sense of self-preservation.

Sturmvoraus grinned, and for once the sharp edges mostly stayed behind his teeth. "I've been waiting for that response in this town for years." He turned away. "Walk with me, Greenclaw."

Where, precisely? Before Hadrian could voice the thought, Sturmvoraus stepped off the edge of the roof.

"He's out of his mind."

"You'd better follow him," Violetta said. "He gets crabby if he has to wait."

Feeling churlishly skeptical, Hadrian followed to the edge of the roof, and he peered downward. A story and a half below, Sturmvoraus dangled from a drainpipe as though he swung from buildings every evening. How dare he act so casual about this nonsense? Hadrian glanced back to Violetta one more time, but she just shrugged.

With a sigh, Hadrian hoisted himself over the edge of the roof. Nonsense, it seemed, would occupy him a little longer this evening. If he could judge by the last few minutes, someone would surely lose a hat before the night was over.

[hollowedwing]

Isekai-ed into Hawk's Life

Hawks x gn!winged!Reader

Warnings: ⚠️ Death!(at very beginning, it is an isekai), mentions of death throughout, some angst(??maybe not yet??), slight cursing

THIS WILL NOT FOLLOW A SPECIFIC TIMELINE IN THE MANGA

(so sorry i just, love, love, the idea of having wings)

(this is all my art, it is on IG, im just too embarrassed for people who know me irl to potentially find this xD Even though none of them have tumblr 👀 if you somehow recognize it...props to you?)

_________________________________

tbh, I can’t decide if I want this to have more than 1 part. 

Word count: ~1,800

_________________________________

You were on your way home from a long evening at your part time job. Before that you had already taken 2 finals that morning too.

You dragged your feet, exhausted, as you headed towards the crosswalk. Stopping at the edge as the traffic light turned green, you decided to pull out your phone and decided to watch a speed paint from your favorite artist who recently released a new video.

It just so happened it was a Hawks speed paint 👀

The light turned red and you slipped your phone into your pocket as your started to make your way across the street

little did you know this would be the last time you'd cross the street

A wild driver came barreling down the road, no regards for civilians or traffic lights, probably drunk or high or just someone out for blood.

You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as your life flashes before your eyes

You can barely comprehend what's happening as you felt pain engulf your body and suddenly you were unconscious

________________________________________

Keigo tiredly stumbled into his large apartment, kicking off his shoes and shrugging his jacket off by the door

He wants nothing more than to just flop down and pass out. The HPSC has been giving him hell lately about god knows what.

He let out a long sigh and headed towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine

As he finishes up, he drags his feet towards his bed and flops down face first into the comfort of his pillow and sheets

Keigo falls asleep almost instantly after getting into a comfortable position, worn out from a long day of work

What he wasn't expecting was a loud "thud!" coming from the main room. He jolts up from his bed, feathers ready to attack.

*******

Reader's pov(?)

*******

You groaned as you hit the floor. Your head was spinning and it feels like a truck just hit you

oh wait...

You suddenly became more alert, looking around in a panic, expecting to either be on the road and injured or in a hospital of sorts. What you didn't expect was a wooden floor inside of a random apartment.

You felt around your body for any signs of injury, but all you found were a set of wings on your back- wings?? Hold up. Why did you feel wings what kind of sick joke was this?

Your thoughts were racing as your breathing picked up. What was happening? Didn't you just get hit by a vehicle? Why are there wings in your back? Where are you even?

Feeling around in your pockets, you found your phone and whipped it out, trying for anything. You turned it on, the harsh light of it illuminating your face, you tried to send a text to your best friend, but alas, it wouldn't go through. Actually nothing on your phone seemed to work. You checked your location settings, for some reason it said Musutafu, Japan.

Wasn't....Wasn't that the location that most of Boku no Hero Academia took place?? This can't be right, this has to be a dream right? There's no way that you could have actually ended up here unless...

Then it hit you.

You read your fair share of isekai series back when you were alive in your realm. Mostly manhwas of characters getting reborn into another person's body, but, never actually reincarnating as yourself into another world.

That was the only thing you could think of. You must have been reincarnated into the Boku no Hero Academia world. Except as yourself.

In all honesty, this is not how you thought you'd go out. You didn't know what to expect after death, but this definitely wasn't it. After all, this was a fictional setting, wasn't it?

Well, not anymore because now you're living in it! Smh.

That would also probably explain the wings on your back. This was you now. You have a bird quirk.

Now, all you have to do, is figure out where the heck you are.

Just as you are about to stand up, feathers zip towards you, pinning you to the ground

You hear footsteps begin to come towards you. You don't know if you should be scared for your life considering you've already died once or ecstatic because, you knew for a fact, this could be none other than Hawks' apartment.

The winged hero finally emerges and stares down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

He says in a low, gravely voice from sleep, "Who are you, and how did you get into my home?" You stare back up at him and nervously chuckle.

"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." You nervously sigh out.

"Try me." He demands, sounding a little more irritated now. You sigh in defeat and start to explain your situation.

"Do...do you know what an isekai is?" You said sheepishly while turning your gaze away from his. He kind of gave you a confused head tilt and just a vibe that said “No”. You sigh again and explain it to the best of your ability. Hawks becomes more and more interested and confused as you talk, but nods a long slowly. 

“So...you were reborn here, but as yourself? Wait- does that mean you died before!?” He asked, disbelief and fear ran through his eyes. You looked at him in bitter amusement.

“Apparently I did. The last thing I remember of my world was getting hit by some truck or car. The dude clearly did not know how to drive. I had the right of way I was pretty sure at least. I mean, the light was red, usually that means pedestrians can cross the street? And plus he was going wayyy over the speed limit,” you begin to ramble on, the reality of actually dying setting into you. Hawks noticed the panic beginning to set into you and released you from his feathers. He crouched down next to you and grabbed your shoulders gently.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, you're ok now, right? You're here, and not dying in the middle of the street still. You're here. In Musutafu," he said trying to calm you back to reality. Well, what was your new reality. Your mind was racing. Trying to put together a coherent thought. 

You look up to him, with a panicked look still in your eyes, thoughts started to come out of your mouth as your brain was trying to catch up with the situation. "I'm... I'm in Boku no Hero Academia and, and you’re Keigo... standing... right in front of me..I have wings. I have wings? Jeezus I have fucking wings. And I’m dead in my own world. I don’t know anyone, well, wait, technically, I do know people, just-Oh gods! I’m so sorry, that name slipped out! I- I, I’m really sorry Hawks." Even in your wild state, you noticed Hawks tense up at the sound of being called Keigo by a total stranger, and were able to get out an apology. That was progress? You were slowly coming back to reality.

Hawks froze up a bit at the sound of hearing his real name mentioned. At first he wasn't sure if he believed your tale of the isekai situation, but after this he might have to reconsider it. He opted to shake off that weird feeling for now and focus on different matters. 

" I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I have nowhere to go or to stay. I'm in a whole different freaking universe! My phone doesn't even hardly work here. And I have a pair of wings on my back!" You puffed them out angrily. Hawks glanced behind you and his eyes widened a little. You in fact, did have a set of bird wings. Kind of owl like wings. Not near as big as Hawks', but definitely big enough to fly you around.

Before Hawks could process the words coming out of his mouth, he was already asking you, "Would you maybe like to stay with me? I can help with your quirk too." He glanced away awkwardly. You looked towards him in disbelief.

"Dude, are you sure? We literally just met like 10 minutes ago? I mean, I'm all for it, I have nowhere else to turn to, but if you really really don't want me here, I will politely step out of your life." You so badly wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but being the considerate, mostly sensible human you were, you gave him the option to back out. Hawks shook his head.

"No, no, it's alright. You can crash here. Uh- I mean- stay here! Sorry!" You giggled at his comment.

"Well thank you very much!"

"It's all good. I have a spare bedroom you can occupy for the time being. I'll give you some clothes to sleep in that'll hopefully fit. Accidentally bought a couple things in the wrong size without looking. " (a/n: just...just assume its your size, or oversized, whatever's comfy idk) He jumped up and headed towards his room to grab you the clothes. You still sat on the floor. Still amazed at everything that was occurring.

Hawks walked back into the room and tossed you the clothes. "Hey uh, you know, you can get up now, sorry for holding you down earlier.."

You blushed and scrambled to stand up, "Oh no! It's ok! I understand. This would definitely warrant that kind of action. Some random stranger crashes into your apartment at like 1am. I completely understand. Honest."

He let out a small laugh and wearily brushed his fingers through his hair. The adrenaline of everything finally wearing off. He could feel the tiredness setting into his aching muscles again. “Ah, well, I’m going to head to bed now. The room is down the hall at the very end that you can stay in. I’ll take you out training tomorrow evening if that’s alright?”

You gave a nod of understanding and followed him down the hallway. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sang as he walked into his bedroom. He gave a hum of acknowledgment and closed his door. 

Making it into what was now your room, you changed out of your clothes so fast, eager to rid yourself of the past hours events. 

Not gonna lie, you could not figure out how to properly get your new wings into the shirt, even with the holes and snaps in the back. Your mind was too exhausted to even process this new skill. So you ended up going to bed without the shirt on and just settled for putting the sweatpants on. 

You figured it’d be good to just pass out asap. You were sure if you tried to recount the recent events, you’d spiral into a panicked mess. 

You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to sleep, trying to only think of positive outcomes for the future. But to be honest, you didn’t know enough about anything in this realm to think rationally about anything good. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I prooobably didn’t proofread this as much as I should have

[dyker-farmer]

Ok this was supposed to be a quick draw and a description to go with, that blew into a full chapter and now it's also on Ao3 SO happy reading ig idk

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

[[MORE]]

Take that can away if you can.

Gulp it down. Chapter 1/2/3/4

There's a few to-know to survive life in society, in the valley; there's no good way to comment on the age nor weight of both resident housewives, you can't say no to Evelyn's homemade cookies- and why would you, you fool-, you do not fight at the Saloon or you'll get no cheese anymore on your pizza and only sparkling water for drinks, and-

And you don't mess with Shane's alcohol related ritual.

Except I did, that night, because you do that, when your two-years long friendship with the guy taught you better than letting his impulses overcome yours, when your buddy is trying to recover from teenage long-lasting into early adulthood, trauma-enhanced heavy addiction, and you know, you know tomorrow he'll feel like absolute shit and question his right to therapy the moment he'll stop his pounding skull from splitting. Wonders what a three-dosage paracetamol can do. 

At least he doesn't drink it out anymore.

So yeah, when you're in my shoes, you get that Joja store-bought crap out of Shane's hand, and you brace yourself for the incoming lash out.

The first fractions of seconds are always those to look closely into most. It's only a glimpse, but before the scowl slips on like a well-worn boxing glove ready to strike, there is always this open page I learned I needed to decipher as quick as I could.

Tonight, it's heartbreaking. When I peck his forehead- doting big sibling habits die hard, even when you're actually the youngest of the pair- the eyes I catch looking at me are so confused and bare of any emotion, except for the sorrow that goes beer-soaked tears, it pangs. I get used to the breakdowns, working in the fields I do when I'm off the farm's, but it's not the same when it's a friend.

When I straighten back, offensive beverage in hand, it's already gone in a flinch, away from the empty space behind the chair and onto the table, as he snarls.

"Wha- giv'me back- 's mine!" I don't know how much he drunk before he met up with me, but from the slurring, it's a Lot. A season and a half into sobriety. That's harsh.

I ignore him and walk behind him, pondering where to put the beer for now.

"Y-you can't just do that! It's my booze I got with m'money, not some- who d'you think you are?-" He sputters indignantly, angry tears fewer than the sad ones but still there. He tries to turn around and grab behind his back, but the wild movement is way off and only gets the chair to nearly topples down. I rush in time to stabilize it, and profit off the moment to set a strong hand on his shoulder.

"I can just do that, 'cus it's my house I got with my money, and I think I'm your pal who knows when you've had enough. Dude, I trust you to be an adult, but minutes before, you were already so torched I had to keep your neck upright so you didn't faceplant into the table, and you nearly just kissed my floor good evening. Not to mention you clung to my arms the whole way from the little entry stairs to the kitchen because, quoting, 'If I don't I'll fall in the hole and won't get up'."

I turn to the fridge again, going to open it, before I think better of it. Likely enough, we'll both forget it was there in the first place, it'll stink up my fridge- it's Joja's- and it'll be money out of Shane's pocket for nothing. I set it on the counter, with the rest of the pack. He'll put it to cool down when he's back to Marnie's. Or he won't, probably. 

That's not a worry for now.

When I caught up with him, it was a few feet below my doorstep; he'd probably slipped up trying to climb the three steps up to it, and settled for it. He was nursing that same can, muttering to himself, head down, curled up on himself. Except for that leg sticked out, he probably hurt it when he fell, I'll have to look at that and work on it if it's too swollen. Hopefully that'll spare us from a visit to Harvey's.

Bad memories. Not mine, and it's warm and not raining outside, but. Déjà-vu.

Anyways, he looked the picture of "help I've fallen and I can't get up- and even if I can I won't because Fuck You", and it's been a hassle to have him cooperate. But when I asked if he wanted to leave, he shook his head with a fervor no somnolent drunk should have. That resulted in a lovely streak of vomit down the wall right next to the door. That's also for later. If Eryza doesn't lap it up. Ew. This cat's never predictable.

Now, he's staring at his hands, sitting at my table, contemplating something too far down for me to see- or maybe just zoning out with a sleeping brain. Then he mumbles. "Sorry."

I get back to the table and sit at arm's length across of him. "Nah, 's okay. I don't mind being a helping hand or touchy-feely, must be the frog-eater in me. Not for the helping part." I'd chuckle but my quip falls on deaf ears.

I go to put my hand over his. When he doesn't blink at it, I try and shake a reply out of him, gently. He startles and hawkeyes our joined fingers. When he's finally looking at me, I raise a single eyebrow. He doesn't say anything, but when he pulls back his arm, I let him. We both straighten up, and it's hard to keep up the eye contact.

"So…" There's a heavy air on us. Suddenly, like the last year didn't happen, we're sitting a stride away of each other, and yet it feels like he's all the way back to the forest, looking down at waves.

"Do you want me to do something?" I bend myself a little closer to him, not moving otherwise.

He puts his head in his hands, shivering. Can't tell if it's the AC or his system kicking the alcohol out, or itself, in stress. I think I hear something, but it might as just be his shuddering breath.

"Shane" I insist, voice level, not pressing. "I need words. I want to help, I truly don't mind, but I need words to know what to do." He's never shown signs of going nonverbal before. If he does, I'll improvise. Until then… I need words.

Time ticks slowly as we wait. Then, with great effort and deep fatigue, he drags his palms up from under his nose to his temple, spreading some snot and wet tears across his face from his scrunched shut eyes. Lips trembling but finally showing, that attempt to let out a sound that's not too garbled. He coughs, sniffles a bit, breathe in again, sounding like a sick dog, and blows through gritted teeth before his jaws go slack. Eyes still closed, he whispers, and I have to lower myself some more toward his crouched form to catch it.

"Can I get something to drink…?" His voice is hoarse.

The demand could be comical, if we were into sour humor. And we usually are. But right now, we're not finding the joke in the lines. I stand silently, and as I walk to the fridge again, I let my hand brush his shoulder- same spot as before.

I take a minute to choose, look into the pantry. When I'm back at the table with my items of choice, he's still sitting there, his cheek is cushioned on his arms, face hidden from view. His shoulder, except for the occasional tremor, rise and fall in rythm with his snores. Breaks my heart to interrupt that, but not really. Hangovers are mean bitches with the sharpest nail art on the blackest of boards.

"Psst, dude. C'mon." I rustle his hair backward. He hates when I do that, says it tickles, and it makes him sneeze. So I obligatory do it once a day if I can. Let's say today's my late quota for the last four days I haven't seen him.

He gruffly tells me to kindly refrain from such pleasantries, and raise bleary eyes back up at the table. I can also guess he tried to bat a hand at me, but his coordination is off and he slaps himself lightly on the ear. Then he glares bewildered at his hand for a few seconds, obviously insulted. I profit of this moment to grab a small basin from under the sink, on second thought.

When he brings his attention back to me, I'm sitting again. Between us, a jug of fresh milk from this morning, a small sack of peppers, and a juice carafe sit aside a green glass bottle. There's also some bread, mostly for me to munch on. Because, hmmm dough. He squints at it all, especially at the bottle. Probably trying to read the label.

"Yeah no, didn't get you one of my best wine, not sorry."

"Hot pepper… juice?" He looks at the actual peppers next to it. "With actual peppers?" And then I get the squint too.

"Hmph, I know you like your elongated hell tomatoes, man, what can i say."

At that, a feeble snort.

I decide that it is the highlight victory of my soirée.

"Welp, have at it." I gesture to the half-liter liquor glass right by his left.

He fumbles with the drinks and some splashes around, but I lay back on my chair, arms crossed, letting him do his thing. While I don't hold back from growing downright doting on him when I got to- or even when I don't- I don't see how more devotion right now would be not smothering. He can break my fancy glass cups if he wants and spill my milk, so long he doesn't cut himself or cry over it.

Now, you could be thinking that plain water would have done the trick just fine, if not better, in rehydrating him. Here's the thing, though; going from booze to tasteless liquid, for Shane, that's a sure way to puking his heart out. And I'd rather not have us deal with an acid bile throat burn on top of near alcohol poisoning. Sorry to not spare you the squeamish details, but his oesophagus is pretty sensitive ever since that stomach pumping back at the clinic. Hot fiery hell fruits he can do just fine, with relative moderation and hydratation- hence the milk and juice- but liquor bursting its way back from his guts? Nuh uh. 

It had taken lots of coaxing, but he'd explained the plain tastes, or lackthereof, were very hard for him to deal with, especially when contrasting with strong ones like beers and whiskeys. I'd shackle it to gustative hypostimulation, but I don't know enough about him that way to say. He'd said sparkling water was a good compromise.

But I don't have sparkling water, because I do not like suffering.

I might buy a pack for when he visits though.

And I do know a handful about him already. Shackle that to perceptiveness and a stubborn streak on top of a year and so long camaraderie.

And having a certain uncontrollable fear of failing to act quick the next time coped with by accumulating information and patterns compulsively.

I shake my head to focus on the present again. He's switched from juices to soaking bread in milk to eat it small portion after small portion. He pauses in mid-bite when he catches me staring. He's still hunched on himself and red-faced and a tad bloated. His cheeks are drying and he's blown his nose. I smile calmly. Worst of the storm passed, unless I screw up and blow it.

"Ywou wan' chom'?" He offers a dripping piece of bread. In moments like this, when he's sobering but not quite, the resemblance with Jas are unmistakable. The glint in his reddened eyes that open wide, and his blank-but-not-quite wondering expression, it's all here to paint a scrutinizing but vulnerable picture of tired but bright minds.

"Nah thanks. You done with that milk?"

"...Sure." He eyes it, wary. He knows where this is going, and he doesn't like it. I take the drink off the table, and his gaze follows my movement until I bring it to my lips.

He frowns. A silent warning. 

And as I lock onto him with a dead stare, not blinking a millisecond, I down the rest of the 2 liters jug in three, five gulps. I even take the time to lick my new mustache away, and close my mouth with a click of my tongue.

His expression is the macabre marriage of beffudled horror and pure affliction, disgust if you will. The face of someone who doesn't hate milk, but has grown out of it enough to not be able to live off the stuff like the brave souls I'm apart of. And probably with reason, as I actually can't, like most 20+ years old, digest the liquid in large amount. But I smile like a smug cat, perfectly content.

Cats really can't digest milk once adults, it's all social mythos.

We silently judge and fuck with each other like that for a while more, as more time passes, until the room's elephant gets it all humid with its prancing around. Enough that tears and nervous sweats start again, for no apparent reasons but the residual anxiety from the whole chain of events that led to this.

"I think we should talk about this."

--- to be continued.

[blackrupee]

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar

[simonxriley]

All I those questions back, because I'm so original!😂💕

 Pearl: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

There are so many places i want to visit, the top one would be Italy, mostly cause i want to visit Rome.

Sails: describe your perfect partner?

Ok, i have no clue tbh, i guess i’ll know when i find him/her

Lighthouse: how much makeup do you wear?

None unless i have too (i’m very lazy, and i’m more of a tomboy and never really worn it lol)

Shells:would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf?

Werewolf definitely, how cool would that be, you be a totally normal human with a job/life and during the full moon you’d turn into a werewolf and do whatever they do, and if you have someone you hate, oh look you could just kill him (i mean what) i’ve thought about this way to much lol 

Mermaid: most embarrassing moment? 

i don’t really have any embarrassing moments cause i don’t give a shit and make myself look like a fool anyways but this was kinda embarrassing, when i was in high school, i was out for like a week cause i was sick and when i returned my friend and i had a different class in the morning and she didn’t know i was gonna be there so anyways she spots me from down this long as hallway we had and she yells “Megan you slut” that wasn’t the embarrassing part tho, she said it in front of my crush at the time, now that was embarrassing.

Turquoise: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

ok so i had a dream that i was with Nate & Sam on some random treasure hunt anyways we get to this like room and there’s a person in the room which ended up being Zoran, which was weird since he’s suppose to be dead, anyway we were gonna fight him for some reason and when i go to look at the Drakes…THEY WEREN’T THERE, THEY FUCKING DISAPPEARED ON ME, so guess what i did? i started to cry and that’s how it ended, just me crying my eyes out in front of Zoran Lazervic.

Waves: favorite season and why?

Autumn because it means football season starts and i love the changing of the leaves and you get to wear boots and cozy sweatshirts and drink apple cider and hot chocolate and pick apples, i just really love fall :)

Breaker: would you ever consider getting married?

Yes i would, in the future though.

Seafoam: describe your ideal summer vacation?

I’m not really picky but somewhere on the beach, don;t care where just give me a good book and i can lay out there all day.

Rain:  if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet?

I would LOVE an owl, they’re one of my favorite animals and i just love them.

Sunlight: least favorite song? 

Friday by Rebecca Black, i hate that song so much

Marine: would you ever consider plastic surgery?

No i haven’t.

Sea Glass: what do you consider to be your best physical feature?

My ass ;) tbh tho 

Storm: do you like piercings and tattoos? Why or why not?

Yes i do, imo i think it cool especially when i see someone with tattoos and i think to myself that almost all their tattoos has a meaning with a story behind it and i think that’s awesome how you can have memories permanently on your body.  

Boardwalk: who is your favourite fictional couple?

Nathan Drake & Elena Fisher from Uncharted

Coral: if you had to describe your personality as a food, what would you be and why?

idk, this one is actually hard lol

Nymph: old-fashioned or modern decor?

I’m a fan of both but i lean more to modern decor.

Seawater: scariest movie you’ve ever saw? 

Killer Clowns from outer space, this was also the first horror movie i ever saw, but give me a slasher film or even a paranormal one and im fine but if it has clowns nope not happening.

siren: in a fantasy setting, would you be a warrior, rogue or mage?

Probably rogue 

Tempest: your favourite Pokemon?

Pikachu and Charmander

Tropic: what is your least favourite thing about your appearance?

my height and/or teeth

Aquamarine: describe your dream date.

I’m pretty basic, dinner and a movie, maybe a walk around town, then back to my or his/her place for whatever happens afterwards.

Brine: gold or silver?

Gold or rose gold

Tidal: what is a colour that best describes your personality?

Dark blue.

Azure: what is something that you do that makes you happy?

Play video games, watch movies, go though tumblr, annoy my niece

Fog: describe where you think you’ll be in five years.

Hopefully back in school, and i have my license (yes im 21 and i still don’t have it)

Coastline: what is your favourite flower?

Roses and lilies

shallows: what is your typical Starbucks order?

I’m more of a dunkin donuts kind of girl, and it’d a french vanilla ice coffee extra extra (extra cream and sugar)

Voyage: what are your favourite names?

Phoenix, Wyatt, Ellie, McKenna, and Kingsley to name a few.

Shipwreck: do you have an OC? If so, describe them.

No i don’t.

Cerulean: do you believe in true love?

Yes for the most part.

Shoreline: if you could become fluent in another language, which would you pick and why?

Italian, Romanian, and hieroglyphic Egyptian, i don’t really have a good answer as to why lol  

Tsunami: describe a dream outfit of yours.

It’s skinny jeans with a pair of doc martens with a black shirt of some kind can be a band tee or not and a leather jacket, i actually wear this a lot except i don’t have a leather jacket yet :( 

Riptide: are you introverted or extroverted? Are you happy with this?

Introverted and yes i am

Hurricane: describe a strange habit of yours.

I don’t have a strange habit’s but during football season, i have to wear the exact same thing or i feel like we will lose.

Thank you :) and sorry it took me so damn long lol

[davidrobertjonesimmortal]

I'm bored and unable to fall asleep yet.

Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? I very happily am! ☺ Ever dated/kissed a someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan, Colton, Rebecca, Samantha, Lauren, Taylor, or Ashley? Jordan, Samantha, Taylor, Ashley. Yes. Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or lying down? Sitting down. 😊 Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? For the most part. Are you excited for anything? Seeing My Person and boyfriend again! Do you hate the last person you kissed? FAR from it. You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies, what do you do? Ignore ignore ignore. Will this weekend be a good one? ABSOLUTELY! Are you mad at someone right now? Eh. Not enough to worry about it. Do you like to listen to the radio in the car? Oh hell yes. Do you sleep with a fan on? Yep, and a noise machine. How is your hair right now? Probably all kinds of fucked up lol but I’m in bed about to sleep so igaf. Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else? Yes. How many windows are open on your computer? Both of my computers are asleep. Lucky electronics. How tall are you? 5'9"! Is something bothering you? Not that I can think of atm. Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? Nah don’t think so. Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny? Oh yeah. All the time. My whole reasoning behind going to see Fifty Shades. Just to laugh. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex “Fuck you”? I tell everyone that. Do you like to cuddle? I LOVE cuddling. Have you done anything sneaky lately? Yeah, lied to grandparents. Not exactly sorry. Is your hair clean? Yeah! Not bad at least. Last night, did you go to sleep smiling? Every night, because of him. How lame. Were you happy when you woke up today? Please see above and replace night with day lol. What are you drinking right now? Currently working on a Mountain Dew Pitch Black mmm 😍 Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? For sure in boyfriend's car because it fucking yells at me 🙄😒 Does someone have feelings for you? lol I would hope Nick does. Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah. Sucks. Are you hard to please? Not at all! Littlest things excite me and make me happy. What are you craving right now? My boyfriend lol. How are you feeling right now? Ridiculously happy. What are you sick of? My head hurting! Are you missing anyone/something? Miss Sasha. All day every day. Relationship to the last person you called? She's my mommy! Could you date someone shorter than you? Nope, couldn't stand it. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Oh yeah. My grandparents. Do you wear glasses? I do not! Unless I want them as an accessory lol. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Do you straighten your hair? Sometimes! What color shirt are you wearing? Black 😎 Do you have a best friend? I have a few! #blessed Do you wish you had the chance to go back in time and change something now? Eh. Nothing really comes to mind. Who is the last person you got a text from? Baaaaaabe ☺ Are you excited for winter? To END. When are you at your happiest? With him. LAME. Or with Sasha! Is there anything you wish you did today? Why haven’t you done it? Nah I'm pretty happy with today. Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? Depends on the weather. What were you doing before you started this survey? Watching my boyfriend and his nephew play a video game. Can you honestly say that you love yourself? I have my days. 😇 How many people have you kissed? I don't keep count lol Do you just feel awkward when you dance? Yeah for the most part honestly. Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset? More time than I'd like to. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? Nah. No point. Do you own a pair of uggs? FUCK NO. What are your plans for tomorrow? Internship then who knows. Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? He tells me all the time. 😍 Can you get over people easily? Not at all. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? Never. How was your weekend? Pretty good! Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? I do actually. How do you feel right now? Very, very happy. Do you hide your feelings or show them? I am transparent even when I don't want to be. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? Looooong always. What is the last thing you cooked today? I don't really cook. What do you always take with you? Phone! Last person you drove around in a car with? My babe. Do you think relationships are hard? They take work but well worth it when you find the right person for you. What are your plans for this weekend? The next coming weekend? None yet. Any friends who are constantly venting about their significant other? None that I can think of. Have you ever been ice-skating? Yeah! I suck at it but it's super fun! Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep? Sometimes. Have you ever seen an albino person, in person? I don't believe so... Do you like Fuze drinks? Don't think I've tried any. Did the end of Hamilton make you sad? Didn't watch it lol. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Every day I work lol. Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm? Nope! Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? YUP LOL Do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself? Yep. What’s your most noticeable flaw? Teeth. And what’s your best feature? Hair probably. Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb? Ugh. Yes. When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it? Depends how close we are. Or what mood I'm in lol. Have you ever hallucinated? Yeah. Do you find serial killers fascinating? YES OH MY WORD. Do you like Musicals? Sure. Is your hair damaged? Yeah somewhat. Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? Grandparents lol. Who was the last person you threw out of your life? Ex-fiancée. Are you wearing socks? Yes! Do you regret something you did yesterday? I was kinda bitchy to babe. When was the last time you cried? Last weekend. Why were you crying? Thinking about sad shit. Whats the last thing you ate? Broccoli and cheese soup! What kind of bottoms are you wearing? Leggings, always. 💜 What do you hear right now? Video game babe and Jul are playing. How many hours did you sleep last night? Idk, enough I guess. Is something bothering you right now? My head a bit. In the past week have you gotten sick? Nope! In the past week have you felt stupid? Not really. In the past week have you got your hair cut? No, I neeeeed to. What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? Working. 😒 In the past week have you felt sad? Yeah. Has someone disappointed you recently? Eh not really. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Absolutely. If you could pack up and move, would you? IN A HOT FUCKING SECOND! Do you hate when people smoke around you? Yeeeeees. Can't breathe. Who have you texted in the last 24 hours? Babe, Mom.

[chenoehi]

Honestly, the first song I ever heard was DNA and although I liked Jimin on a surface level I couldn't really get into the song and I had no real interest in listening to their music. I kind of just watched them do their thing internationally with some interest and vague "Ah, good for them" positive thoughts because I think it's high time Asian artists get the attention and credit they deserve; although some subgenres of apop I don't think will translate well, such as the visual kei movement in Japan, jpop and kpop have been undervalued and underrepresented in the West. Gangnam Style was a hit but it turned into a meme and a joke with no meaningful, lasting cultural impact.

Then Waste it On Me came out and it was the first song I listened to all the way through; it left me wanting more because I could tell it wasn't all of them on the song. I decided to watch a YouTube video about their singing and speaking voices which was meant to test the fans knowledge of their voices to see if they could guess them all correctly. Once I watched that I got hooked on Let Me Know, a track that the poster used for clips.

Then the incident occurred. I call it the incident because it was so distressing; the poster of the video did not specify the songs used so I had no idea what LMK even was and I don't speak Korean (yet). I decided to go through their popular songs on Spotify to find this song but it was elusive. I got so bent out of shape I started listening to each song on their albums to find the matching lyrics and melody. It wasn't until I broke down and figured out that they were saying the words let me know in English (in the video the song was broken up into clips so it was hard, and they were singing live) that I just Googled the words and found the song. From there, the descent into YouTube with videos introducing fans to each of the members along with videos explaining their history and how far they came from their debut. I started off my journey as a devoted fan this past fall with the full awareness of how hard they've worked and how special their bond is. Since then I've looked into many groups and I have specific people in those groups I like and most seem like genuinely nice people with decent music.

But, I have not fallen for any of them the way I did for BTS. I love some of the groups like GOT7, those boys are precious and so funny, but I'm still not at the point that I want to listen to their whole discography. I think Wanna One was precious, but to be honest the only song I've heard is Boomerang and I'm sure I'd like their music if I chose to get into it, it's just that I liked some of them in the group so much that I've just focused on their interactions. I think ASTRO and Stray Kids are precious but I haven't really gotten into their music either. Monsta X and Seventeen seem nice but most of their music isn't really my style. I will have days where I listen to nothing but BigBang but to be honest I haven't really been in to them as people, I just don't get that vibe that the other groups have. I think the EXO boys are absolute darlings, but other than Ko Ko Bop I haven't really been impressed much and I get the impression that KKB was kind of worn out and people are sick of it; Love Shot was pumped up but I kind of had to force myself to like it? I'm not really into WINNER but I adore Mino (the Blanket episode where he's talking to Xiumin (EXO) about his clay art..he was just so soft and precious? idk). I listened to songs from other groups like NCT briefly but nothing ever really grabbed me.

Case in point, while their music is good on it's own right, it's my love for these boys that makes it enough for me. There's no other kpop group for me that I love their music as much as I love them.

BTS won K-pop Contribution Award / Lifetime Achievement Award at the 8th Gaon Chart Music Awards.

2013

1st week digital sales: No.124

1st week physical sales: 760 copies

Official fancafe members: 1564

Twitter followers: 2000

1st week Youtube views: 186,072

“Some say they made it this far because of their natural skills, some say it’s thanks to their meticulous SNS marketing strategy. Gaon Chart was curious, so we looked through 6-year worth of statistics. But their secret to success can’t be found in numbers. Gaon Chart can only assume their secret to success is perhaps their sincerity that moved people’s hearts. Now we deliver our sincerity to you. You never walk alone.” ©ktaebwi

BTS are the youngest recipients of the Lifetime Achievement Award

Congratulations LEGENDS!!!! 🎉