#idk i'll put both under thing

[kvnghs]

work straight up kicked my ass today (and will continue doing so the next few days) i'll be lurking til the weekend and on disco if u wanna scream about nothing ♥♥♥

[grapecaseschoices]

UP TOP: Is the Tadpole Consumers! Sometimes being 'Power Hungry' means eating an actual worm.

Kendis Wolfcrossing (left): Bearbarian (Druid and Barbarian), She/They (nb). Romance Rolan [Maybe Minthara. Maybe Halsin. I'm just fucking around in the PT]

Kaeliana (right): aka The Dark Urge, Soradin of Kelemvor (Sorcerer and Paladin), She/her (trans). Romance Wyll.

BOTTOM DOWN: The Parental Trauma Cleric Sibs (and potentially both technically undead).

Amryl Shadowhoard (left): Ranger/War Cleric of Bahamut, They/It/She (in order; nb). Romance Wyll/Lae'zel/REDACTED [yeah that's the polyam!]. Is, technically, Isyl's younger sibling.

Isyl Shadowhoard (right): aka The Dark Urge. Cleric of Light [hhaha] of Lathander, ???? (trans and nb). Potential Romance Barcus. Is, definitely, Amryl's older sibling. Isyl remembers that fact and Isyl remembers Lathander. Everything else is secondary. Right?

[lanatusnebula]

Well clearly I am confused.

[thelostconsultant]

Not a gold digger

pairing: Max Verstappen x reader

summary: Fans think you only want Max's money. But as it turns out, you were wealthy before he came into your life--you just don't make it obvious.

warnings: No smut, but there's a part that makes me say MDNI.

note: So... I'm kinda back? Idk, I'll see if I'll stick around.

The toxicity of the fandom was becoming quite entertaining, really. It was the third time since you and Max had made your relationship public half a year ago that someone started an anti gold digger campaign to protect your boyfriend. They truly believed they were doing this for a greater good, and they all begged Max for his attention.

It always began after they sniffed out he had given you something expensive as a gift or took you shopping to a luxury boutique. While there were some people who tried to protect you by pointing out that maybe he enjoyed showering you with gifts, the rest didn't care about that. 

You lived in a small apartment back home, you were driving a five years old Renault SUV, and no one knew what you did for a living. This was enough to enrage them and make them believe all you wanted was Max's money at the end of the day. Just think about the way she's looking at him, one of them wrote about two months ago, she's so clearly not in love with him. Poor Max, someone please save him. 

Ridiculous.

“Is everything okay?” he asked when he got home and kissed the top of your head. 

You were sitting in his sim rig, using the time while it was free to practice, because you wanted to play with him when you weren't here together, and he was more than happy to show you the basics. “Someone started another campaign to cancel me,” you replied casually as you got out with his help. 

Even when you were standing in front of him, he didn't let go of your hand, instead he raised it to his lips to place a soft kiss on its back. “Gold digging?” You nodded with a sad look on your face, but less than five seconds later you were both laughing. “Look, I know you're having way too much fun with this, but–”

Without waiting for him to finish, you raised your hand to make him stop. “I'm not stepping out of the shadows, Max. I've been hiding for years, even fucking Forbes doesn't know my real name or face,” you told him.

Back in the old days, when Bitcoin appeared, your geeky uncle had gotten into mining and trading it. He knew the potential, so he put most of his savings into buying them, then he held onto them, and by the time he got sick years later, he knew they were valuable and would be worth a lot more in the upcoming years. In his will, he left his savings and his wallet to you, giving you the chance to use them as you wished since you had learned everything about crypto from him.

So now you had Bitcoin as well as old fashioned investments, and you had used your money to help out an up-and-coming tech company for a forty percent share, and it was later sold to a tech giant for a lot of money. But despite your wealth, you chose to stay under the radar, because you loved your small apartment, and you weren't about to trade it for some fancy penthouse. 

You had met Max the year before in Las Vegas. F1 was a sport you watched with your uncle while he was still alive, and you were hell-bent on getting a VIP pass for the weekend. If you asked your boyfriend, he would say it was love at first sight, but in reality he was just annoyed by you. For a solid ten seconds, he would correct you every time you talked about it.

You agreed that you would hide in Max's apartment until this latest campaign died down, which gave you some time to spend together in peace. Every now and then you checked the tags to see how things were going, and after the silence of the past few days, today your name was trending again. Ready to have a good laugh, you opened the tag, but the most popular post gave you a minor stroke.

“Oh, fuck me,” you yelled as you launched your phone into the couch.

Max pulled the headset down to his neck as he looked over at you. “Is everything okay?” You raised your finger to your lips as if you wanted him to stay quiet, but luckily he got the message. “I'm muted. So?”

You grabbed your phone and went over to him. “They know. One of those idiots from the company I helped back in the day posted a tweet to protect me, saying that if it wasn't for me being an angel investor, they wouldn't be millionaires now,” you summarized as you gave him the device.

He scrolled through a series of tweets, and found a post from a journalist of Forbes in which he promised a proper investigative piece based on this info. He handed you the phone, then wrapped an arm around your waist. “It's okay, schatje. I know that's not what you wanted, but maybe they'll stop with the recurring hate campaign now,” he tried. “And if you’re worried about the article… Don’t be. There is nothing compromising about you. Yes, you inherited the money, but you have proven you know what to do with it.”

“Maybe you’re right,” you admitted with a sigh. 

“I’m usually right. C’mere,” he said as he reached out to pull you closer, but you glanced over at the camera. Rolling his eyes, he quickly turned it off, then gave you an expectant look. “Will you hug me now? And I want a kiss too.”

With a laugh, you leaned down to wrap your arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. But he wanted more, his hand slowly sneaked under your shorts, his fingers running over your clothed cunt before he decided to pull your panties aside and dip a finger between your folds. You moaned into the kiss, but he pulled away a second later to lick his finger clean. 

Shaking your head with a chuckle, you patted his shoulder and walked back to the couch. You could feel Max’s eyes on you the whole time, and when you looked at him again, he flashed a devilish smile at you. “I should quit the stream. Now that I had a taste, I want more,” he told you. 

“I’m not going anywhere, just try to be patient.”

He looked back at the screen, then put the headset back on his head and unmuted his mic. “Sorry, I have to go. See you next time,” he told the others, then logged out. You couldn’t remember the last time he left the sim rig this fast, and only a few seconds later he was kneeling in front of you, eagerly reaching up to pull your shorts off you.

liked by user1, user2 and 947,896 others

f1gossips: Breaking news! Turns out Max Verstappen's girlfriend isn't a gold digger after all as she has her own fortune according to the investigative article published by Forbes. Will the fans apologize?

view all comments

user2: And here I was, thinking she's just a greedy airhead...

user3: Easy to be wealthy with your uncle's money.

↳ user4: Have you read the whole thing? She invested the money and helped out several startups--that later became pretty successful--as an angel investor. Yes, maybe she inherited a lot of money, but she knows what to do with it.

↳ user5: May I remind you how many F1 drivers started their careers with their families's money?

user6: Told you she wasn't a gold digger. Suck it, haters.

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,577,353 others

maxverstappen1: If you don't buy your girlfriend gifts every once in a while, you're a bad boyfriend. I love to spoil her, it's not a crime. I love her, I'm proud of her, and you can send us as much hate as you want, it will only make us stronger.

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername: I'd be perfectly fine without the gifts, I already told you.

↳ maxverstappen1: I don't care.

landonorris: You're absolutely right!

↳ maxverstappen1: You're single, how would you know?

↳ landonorris: Just FYI, I've been in relationships before.

danielricciardo: You're so disgustingly smitten with her. (I love you both.)

[omgfangirlland]

I'm going to need all of you to hear me out on what I'm about to spew, but I have yandere!batfam brain rot, and I just came across Yan!girldad!nolan grayson.

HEAR ME OUT!

Putting a page break here cuz idk how long this will be-

So- the usual neglected batsis that as a youngster craved the attention of her fam, but after being brushed away, after being ignored, after being straight up forgotten about, says fuck it, y'all aren't worth my love, I'll use the Wayne money to do as I please.

So she does. She uses the monthly allowance that is on auto pay straight to her card to do arts, to paint her heart away, to draw and play video games, to fund and pay off anything from homeless shelters to medical bills, trying to make a dent into the Wayne fortune both in selfish and non-selfish ways. She's basically a petty tween.

But then she wakes up with powers. She thinks she's a meta- batman doesn't like metas, that's what she thinks, she doesn't know Bruce doesn't want metas in Gotham due to Gotham being ground zero for meta trafficking. Boom, panic.

I think she has powers like flying, super strength, and like immediate healing if not "iron skin" like Superman. So she wakes because she hits the ceiling due to flying while asleep. She panics, falls, maybe breaks something, nobody comes to check on her-

Now, she always has toyed with the idea of leaving, but this? THIS? Breaking point, she packs necessities and the Wayne card and says bye-bye Gotham, good morning... Chicago? NYC? Idk, whichever place Omni man lives in ig.

The batfam, of course, doesn't notice. In this universe, I think even Alfred won't have been paying that much attention to batsis, man's too busy. So what if one day he does his rounds, cleaning, opens a door he hasn't been in a while.

The room is dusty. Dusty beyond hell, and one singular photo of batsis at like a kindergarten graduation makes him drop everything, including his heart. Old man goes feral, absolutely crazy, because where the fuck is this kid, this little baby, that he went and picked up because Bruce couldn't be bothered.

The batfam goes crazy too. In the mean time-

Batsis is, surprisingly, living her best life. Initially, she planned on getting an under the table job- clean a bar, babysit, be the errand girl of some shady drag dealer, etc. But Nolan sees her while she tries to get her powers under control, shakily flying, accidentally blowing to pieces a tree as she leans against it.

Omni-man as he lurks in the shadows: Debbie would love a daughter. I would love a daughter.

Batsis would call it kidnapping, Nolan calls it adopting without extra steps. Debbie takes one look at this shaken kid and immediately goes mama mode while reprimanding Nolan about taking a kid off the streets and not warning her so she could prepare better.

Mark? It takes about 2 hours before he realizes that they can be training buddies and that they have similar taste in some things. That's his baby sister. No arguments, just baby sis. Batsis? Much like a hungry, cold cat, she accepts her fate. It does feel nice to finally have some attention on her.

So she trains with Nolan and Mark, gets great, becomes a reluctant superhero, deliberately ignores Nolan's rants about her becoming such a great warrior, his little girl on the way of becoming the greatest conquror. Gothamite batsis just shrugs it off as just a Thursday.

Back with the batfam, pure chaos. Everyone is in shambles. How could they forget about a whole kid? Their siblings, Bruce's youngest daughter. Guilt is slowly turning into madness, and madness is slowly turning into a need to prove they can be better, that they weren't deliberately overlooking an innocent child because of personal pettiness, they were just distracted but now they'll right their wrongs.

Bonus p1:

Superman finally meeting batsis: What do you mean you're Bruce's kid? 😃 What do you mean you're a meta and instead of coming to uncle Clark you go and get adopted by murderous Omni-man? 🙂 What do you mean you kinda approve of him killing his enemies? 🫠

Batsis just wants Joker to die.

Bonus pt2:

Dick: What do you mean she's calling that other Grayson boy big brother? 😀

Damien: What do you mean I have another sibling? What do you mean she's calling that purple alien bastard her little brother?! I blame you, father.

Bonus pt3:

John Constantine: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GAVE ONE OF BATMAN'S KIDS IMMORTALITY AND MAGICAL POWERS?

The deity/entity batsis has been depicting in her paintings for years: *shrugs* I was bored, my little priestess was sad, she's not anymore 🤷

That's the plot twist, batsis is actually magical, but her powers work the way they do because that's the only way she knows how to fight with them. Magic isn't on her thought as a possibility, even if she was into the occult.

Cue John drinking for 3 days straight before having the courage(or will) to go to the Bat.

[melled42]

Idk if this is a huge request or not, but could you explain more about Bell? (The shitten in your au)

I would be thankful, take care.

Yeah, ive done like... 3 pieces of her max but she gets SO many asks lol. the story isn't really ready for her yet, and i'd like to finish what im working on before i do more with her, but i'll give the basic rundown.

she LITTERALY started as a joke baby post but she got so much interaction i said i'd expand on her design and now she seems to just have a following of simps (oops, like lamb like daughter)

most of the old ideas for ewen and nari with her are out of date now on the art, but heres a bunch of plot and some unposted sketches under cut

Nari and Ewen are married and leading the cult still. all the siblings have kids, grandkids and even great grandkids (excluding shamura). Its only after they decide having a child is someone for them to love and raise, not someone who they're forcing the cycle of trauma on that they have Bell. And they adore her. While growing up, one by one, the former bishops, all her aunts, uncles, and shamura decided it was time to peacefully end their long lives. So she sees death as a good thing, the satisfying end to a long life story. So when Ewen and Narinder are ready to die together, even though they say she doesn't have to, she takes on the crown and ends if for them with a last "i love you" between them. She runs the cult now which is more themed around their shared neck wound "rings" and their relationship than just the lamb. She's called "the black sheep" by her followers (or queen if they're kinky, princess when shes younger). she wields the crown as a pair of horns and a sythe, sine the cult of the black rings also referenced Ewen's large black horns and she keeps up the theme.

Baal and Aym are her "brothers" (more of her body guards and technically her cousins but she refuses to call them anything else) and her body guards, staying after their master's death. They've known her since she was a baby and still treat her as one sometimes. She's VERY protective over them, but also will bully them sometimes, like kicking their asses when training and saying they're just going easy on her like when she was a kid, knowing full well she's overpowered by the crown.

Because shes such an oddity, the mystic seller assigned one of their followers to keep an eye on her and, much like her "ba ba" she found the overpowered demigod shes now obsessed with. With some help from Ewen before they passed, they were able to translate their glyphs. Now that helper follows her around disguised as a poor imitation of a regular mortal to better understand her and the mortal realm. Or at least thats what she convinced them to do since she wants them around <3 probably not to their masters liking lol. I haven't decided on a name yet. Bell eventually give them the purple crown (they/it)

Before they left, Narinder was trying to reawaken the crowns, whether for the memory of his siblings, or that the cult was growing too large to be centered on the red crown. They're not very powerful right now and Bell is the leader of the others, more like a babysitter.

The blue crown is with Kalliope (kalli for short) (she/her), a distant relative of Kallamar's who had to fight, both physically and socially, with all her other of age relatives to get the chance, since Kallamar's polycule made a LOT of kids and grand kids. She's kind of bitchy about it and whines about everyone not respecting her or how hard she worked. shes a flamboyant cuttlefish and trans femme. also the crown is worn like an earring. Bell has little tolerance for her and they have a lot of bitchy girl fights.

The green crown is with isop (a kinda combo of isopod and aesop) (he/him) who is a rubber ducky isopod. he's Leshy's great great grandkid, and really only god the crown because no one else on the peaceful forest farm leshy put together in his later years really wanted it and figured it meant free babysitting. he's pretty young and small with a fascination for chaos and violence that only little kids without developed social perception can have, though he more watches at this point. The others tend to carry him or he rolls around in a little ball. The crown is worn like glasses.

The orange crown is with Mycelia (lia for short) (they/them plural) who is a homunculus mushroomo made through experimentation by Heket and Sozo before they died. they're the only one who is actually older than Bell. They're undying because they're a hive mind of all the mushroomo, who have been progressively growing. They can see everything the others see, can spout new bodies when needed and even feed on their own dead bodies. Bell sometimes just kills them when they're frustrated with them or other things. They'd be a threat but they're very monotone and emotionless about pretty much everything and don't care. They've worked with the red crown just because death is a natural boon to fungus and keeps them alive. The orange crown is worn as a necklace.

Heres some sketches since I haven't been able to get the designs to my liking but people keep asking so :T

[piggycyberwarrior]

Ekko SWF-Alphabet

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

!not proof read!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Ekko is the type of boyfriend that would constantely pepper your face with kisses. He knows how easily people can die- can be killed- so he tries to shower you with affection.

He likes to show you how much he loves you, because he is kinda confused with words. He is a warrior- a leader, not a big talker? he tries tho.

I would say he is pretty affectionate but mostly behind closed doors. As i said- he's a leader, he shouldn't be smooching his girl next to the firelights... he thinks its inappropriate. But in a calmer, more softer setting- boii he's all over you!!

B = Bribe (Can you bribe him?)

Yes and No.

Ekko is loyal as fuck. He would never EVERR betray the ones dear to his heart. But small and unnecessary things like

"Okay.. would you come with me if i give you one- no TWO kisses?"

Yeah. nope he would immediately jump off the couch and sprint towards you. He doesn't play there..

He kinda sees it as a payment...

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

I PERSONALLY think that Ekko likes Hugs way more than cuddles. I'll explain:

You know that one hug that hits so good? Nose burried in their neck- inhaling their scent- arms tight around the person after you saw them finally- FINALLY again and all these emotions are put in that hug.

^ He loves that so much when he comes home, tired from a mission

That doesn't mean he does not like Cuddles. I think Ekko loves to lay his head onto your Chest/boobies all the time. crushing you under his weight and laughing when you grumble because of his stupid antics

or being the big spoon (like almost never the little spoon- only when he needs comfort). he loves it that he can make you feel safe in his arms

He likes to nap while cuddling but i think he doesn't really like to sleep at NIGHT when cuddling. That! man! needs! his! space!! (Napping while cuddling is okay idk why??)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Yes he really wants to settle down with you somewhere safe and sound- a place that doesn't exist now, unfortunately. Thats why he works so hard. maybe he can give you that home you deserve someday.

That man is a COOK. Full ass GORDON RAMSAY like its not even normal??? He even enjoys it- apron on, humming a little melody while making breakfast for the two of you.

he loves to help you at home even tho he barely has time between eating , sleeping and his duties. But you don't mind. he asks some of his people to help you out if you really need help with the chores.

is kinda shitty at cleaning- kinda never learned to do it... i mean he grew up in Zaun.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I'm sorry but like i said he is kinda shitty with words so he tries to rip the bandaid off real quick by breaking up through text/letters...

He doesn't really feel good about it too- feels like an asshole to be honest but he can't help it :(

if they wanted to talk about it though- he tries

he is okay with the fact that you hate him because of his break-up-style

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ekko is a little bit scared? of commitment. He kinda doesn't wanna be "caged"- he feels as if his freedom has been pushed into a box, but in reality he just needed to find the right person.

I think Ekko needs some time to really REALLY settle with the fact that he loves his s/o and that can take some time.

But oh boi when it happens- he wants to marry you immediately!! Like mentioned he knows that life is short- so he tries to marry you as quick as possible.

But he understands it if you need time to think about it or aren't ready yet.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Ekko's kinda rough around the edges as he grew up in a rough atmosphere. Sometimes his grip is too strong- his attempts to tickle you can hurt a bit and his hands are calloused as well.

But in the end he never wants to hurt you and is extremely gentle towards you as much as he can

he is so much gentler to you than to anyone else. always makes sure you aren't stressed or anything like that.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Yes.Yes.Yes!! he loves hugs like mentioned earlier. It just fits better into his lifestyle as he can quickly but passionately hug you before or after a mission and can also do that in public. he cannot cuddle you outside on the street :/

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Not that fast. Boi has some serious trust issues and you probably have to initiate the big ol' L-Word. When he finally says it- he will never stop saying it.

He willl always shower you with 'I love you's' and expects you to also say it back. he's just a sucker for that simple sentence even tho he was kinda wary of the concept of love

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Doesn't get jealous. Just doesn't, he trusts you completely. Period.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you?)

His kisses are like him. Sweet but passionate, as well as a sprrrinkle of roughness.

he loves the traditional way of kissing you. on the lips. he is addicted to the taste of them on his and can kiss you till dawn. (he doesn't mind that you call him a simp)

He also loves to give you small pecks on your face but mostly the side of your head when you did something cute or stupid.

Always has his hands on you when you kiss- either on your throat, back or waist.

Also grins into kisses like ahhhrgcvszdc PLEASE

L = Little ones (Would he like to have Children?)

Loves children- I mean he keeps them save in the HQ too like what did you expect...

Would also love to have children when he's older.. kinda a dream of his. Probably 3 kids. Is still okay with it if you don‘t like to have kids- respects it!

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

i kind of have the feeling that dis man is such a morning grouch :/ soooorry

like he always wants to sleep more (in other words- has a fucked up sleep schedule)

Still he loves it when you kiss him awake- and he would always and i mean ALWAYS!! roll on top of you and squish you under him with a laugh before pressing kisses on your face and getting up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

OHH THAT BITCH IS A NIGHT OWL. He is always so much goofier at nighttime (you know that weird 3am energy?? Exactly)

He likes it when you are sitting on his lap at night though, while he is fiddling at some prototype. Your fingers lazily playing with his dreads while he nuzzled himself onto your shoulder while working

Its a mix of both energy’s- late snack runs or slow evenings.

ALSO LOVES TO SLOW DANCE WITH YOU IN THE KITCHEN AT NIGHT!!!!

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As i said, he takes his time to fully trust you. If you grew up together- he would‘ve probably told you a lot of things already. If you didn‘t- he is kinda hesitant to tell you at first. I think he would start revealing things about himself after a good few months of dating. He takes his time with those things

still he will always listen when you have something to tell him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It depends. When he is frustrated- his patience is very thin- but when he is in his normal mood- it’s out of gold

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. It is truly getting creepy. He knows everything???

birthday, likes, dislikes, all the family gossip you told him one day- even remembering all of your family member’s names, favorite book, favorite hyperfixation at the moment, favorite place- everything you mentioned to him once.

lol he laughs everytime you think he forgot something and he proves you wrong- you‘re just like:🧍‍♀️

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

that one hot ass summer night were you were both almost naked (nothing seggsual) - sweating like a pig- window wide open- not able to sleep and just talking bout shit. -> leading to you telling him you love him.

He didn‘t mind the humid heat in the end. Just feeling so happy.

always remembers that moment and feels giddy when there is a hot summer night…

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

He loves it when you defend him verbally. He can fight- and doesn‘t want you to hurt yourself in the process- but seeing you argue with someone for him is making his heart race.. <3

like i said he doesn‘t get jealous but is neverthless protective. He knows that Zaun is fucking dangerous- also knows that you can protect yourself but he wants to keep any harm from you..

always being your guard dog and even fighting people that bitch at you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts?)

I think he always gets you something when he‘s in Piltover- books or small things that you like..

He likes to have dates in the privacy of your home- nothing extraordinary…. I am SO SORRY BUT THIS MAN ISN‘T A FAN OF ANNIVERSARIES!! He just doesn‘t get the point?? For him everyday is an anniversary.

He still plans the home dates (puts a lot of effort in the planning part)- and everytime you do something new fun!!

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Nail Biting, Workaholic, Insomnia, such a gossip girl 😭 its funny tho.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

That Man is proud!!! He worked so much, trained so much did everything to become the person he is- loves his muscles and is kinda concerned how he looks

(Have you seen that man? Face paint on the spot- dreads styled like that and always revealing that yummy bicep..)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes- next question

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

100% a cat person. He loves them but will never admit it. When he first saw one as a kid- he begged Benzo to let him adopt it. Still visits it‘s grave. Kinda has a fur allergy but he doesn‘t care 💀

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

hates hates HATES it when his partner is rude or disrespectful for no reason. (Sure, its a different story when you are getting shit on) but he just finds it so bad when you insult someone for no reason (and mean it)

has no problem when you playfully call someone (him) an idiot tho…

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He is a kicker. Like bitch, stop kicking me in the ribs while sleeping 😭. Also wakes up with his head at your feet- turns around a lot. Just an active sleeper here…

you on the other hand get many bruises from his kicking…. I am so sorry

[pomefioredove]

If the flirtatious lines event is still happening, I do have a little request, and this is absolutely not forced!

Could you do “You’re a shy little thing, aren’t you?” With Leona x reader? Here’s a little twist, though; The reader is the one saying that to Leona! I absolutely adore the idea of Leona being super shy when in love, seeing normally tough characters be out-of-character when they have a crush is ADORABLE to me! Plus, I don’t see enough of reader being the teasing one in Leona x reader fics.

Thank you for listening, have a lovely day/night!

ooh this makes SO much sense though, I see your vision!!

summary: "you’re a shy little thing, aren’t you?" type of post: short fic characters: leona additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, probably really ooc idk

It's not the first time you've run into him, and it won't be the last.

It was annoying at first; your clumsiness, and that perpetual look of confusion and awe in your eyes...

You didn't belong here.

That was the first thing Leona thought about you.

Your good nature, the way you stupidly stumbled into trouble time and time again, even that look on your face; you'd make an easy meal for any predator.

And, as luck would have it, that would be him.

Though he certainly doesn't feel like the top of the food chain now.

"Talk to them," Ruggie pesters, hovering around his boss like a fly. Leona is tempted to swat him away.

"No,"

He puts a hand on his hip. "I don't see what the big deal is. You deal with being a prince your whole life, but you get choked up at the Prefect?"

Annoying. Leona is tempted to make a rude gesture, but his social etiquette gets the best of him.

"I am not choked up, but you're going to be unless you get lost," he says in a tone far too quiet.

He's lucky that Leona is in a merciful mood today.

"Suit yourself," Ruggie shrugs, sticking his hands in his pockets and heading towards the exit.

Good. Leona didn't come here to talk about the Prefect, anyway.

Of all the stupid things...

He lies back in his original position, trying to drown out the sound of your voice and get some sleep. You're here with a group, doing some potionology thing, he figures. Great.

One of your friends makes you laugh, and he feels a strange sense of jealousy.

"I'll get the poppy," you sound rather pleased with yourself.

Though, as hard as he tries, he can't seem to dislike you.

A rustle, and then another beam of sunlight hits the secluded little spot, illuminating the both of you.

"Oh!" you say, eyes wide. "Sorry, Leona. Didn't mean to disturb you."

Always so polite. He wonders if that's just for show, or if you're being genuine.

"Mhm," he hums. He can't find it within himself to tell you off. It's like he's forgotten how to speak.

And he can't look at you.

"It's not over here..." you say under your breath. You're not even doing anything and he finds you endearing. "Well... sorry again."

Ruggie's words are still fresh in his mind- the pest- and he sighs.

"Wait," Leona says, standing. "You're looking for poppy? I know where it is."

You seem to hesitate. Not a good sign. "...I don't want to trouble you..."

"It would be more rude to turn down such a generous offer," he rebuffs. That's more like it.

And, so, you follow him. It feels nice, stringing you along for once.

Leona says nothing. With anyone else, he would've made at least one comment by now- no, with anyone else, he wouldn't have offered his help in the first place.

He brings you to another part of the botanical gardens, and shows you a row of potted poppies. Crewel had the second years move them yesterday.

"Ah, here they are. Thank you!" you smile. It's almost... cute. Ugh.

He says nothing.

You collect your material, and begin the walk back with him. He can feel your eyes on him, and he can tell there's something you want to ask.

"...You don't say much,"

Great. Leona huffs. Why does he feel so hot, all of a sudden? "I just have nothing to say,"

Even he sounds unsure of what he's claiming. You raise an eyebrow, a small smile gracing your lips.

"You’re a shy little thing, aren’t you?"

And you're driving me mad, he thinks, but all he can do is grunt in response.

He feels nervous. Always so nervous around you.

Leona would never admit what those words did to him, but he didn't need to. He could feel the embarrassment on his face.

You stop at the mouth of the gardens. Your friends are waiting outside.

"Thanks again," you smile. It's genuine. He can't keep eye contact with you.

"...Sure,"

"Just, ah..." you say, looking between him and your puny first year friends as they call you over. "Let me know what I can do to repay the favor, okay?"

So naive. You're practically serving yourself on a silver platter. Like he originally thought, an easy meal for any predator.

...But, for once, that predator isn't him.

And he's actually going to have to work for this.

[lohotine]

AN: Def seems like the person to deny being sick, and act like a little bastard, and not take medicine, and just act whiney and clingy

Sick! Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader

Oneshot (headcanons below)

Warnings: idk, just a silly little post of our favorite trickster ☆☆☆

-Sick-

"Shadow Milk, you have to take the medicine or you're not going to get better!"

"I already told you- It's gross and I don't wanna!"

This back and forth had been going on for who knows how long.

You see, Shadow Milk had caught a cold, and you have been trying to get him to take medicine to recover. The only problem was, he was being a stubborn little brat.

"And I'm fine! It's just a cough. I'm not even sick-"

Oh, and there was that too. He kept insisting that he was fine when he clearly wasn't.

"You threw up an hour ago."

"That's unrelated."

You frowned.

"If you don't take it then I'm going to become sick. You would want that, right?"

He glared at you. "I don't like how you're using your own health against mine," he'd say.

"Fine, give it here," he reached his hand out for the bottle of medicine, to which you happily gave him.

Then he began to gulp it down by the bottle-full.

"MILKTHATSNOTHOWYOURESUPPOSEDTOTAKETHEMEDICINE-" You'd scream out in mild panic.

"Just be grateful I'm even taking it in the first place!" He'd hiss.

He finished the entire bottle.

"This stuff tastes gross. I don't know how you normal people do it," He'd stick out his tongue, and you would snatch the now empty bottle from his hands.

"That's because you're not supposed to drink all of it."

"Yada Yada, rules aren't really my thing, doll. Anyway, am I like.. not sick anymore?"

What a clueless, loveable, idiot.

"...No. You have to wait a while,"

He had a disgusted look on his face.

"Are you serious? I drank that whole bottle and it doesn't even cure me? That's such a scandal." He would cross his arms.

"Again, you weren't supposed to drink it all."

"Yeah yeah, my bad. Now hurry up and cuddle me. It's been much to long since I've last had you in my arms." He would reach his arms out for you, making grabbing hands and a pouting face.

"No way- I don't want to catch what you have."

He ignored your response and snatched you under the covers with him.

You were really stuck now. You both know that if Shadow Milk wants something, it's his. And in the current moment, he wanted your attention.

"If you do end up getting sick, then I'll be the one to take care of you."

It was going to be a long week.

Headcanons ☆

Runs around the house to avoid taking medicine

Denies being sick, even though he sneezes like every five seconds

Refuses to rest

Will get abnormaly warm, but will still complain about being cold

Will cuddle you in the night and you're legit overheating

He says sorry but doesn't do anything about it

Either takes all of the blankets from you, or puts ALL of the blankets on both of you

Either way, he uses all of the blankets

Ten times clingy, but he insists its for 'no reason in particular.'

Gets so whiney and needy

If he doesn't have your attention 24/7 he screams

Will 100% use his sick status to avoid responsibilities

Still a flirty bastard

If he ever seems to get randomly better, he'll say it's because of your love

One time has attempted to start an... interesting doctor and patient role play

You shut down the idea quickly and he wouldn't stop nagging you about it for the rest of the day

[byuntrash101]

milkshake. — 정.우영

f!reader x sub!wooyoung ft. seonghwa & san smut | mdni 3k wooyoung needs to impress the ceo and chairman to get the newly open cfo position and for that he's planning to go all out, show off everything he's got. including his precious, stunning and bewitching wife: you. nsfw tags under the cut

#20: riding + nipple play (twt p☆rnlink) office!au, ceo!seonghwa, chairman!san, husband!woo, billionnaire boys club vibes (very wealthy), trophy wife!reader, babysitter!yeosang (mentionned), the three of them worship reader, woo is a fierce business man by day but your good boy by night, mommy kink, cowgirl, unprotected sex (they are married so i'll allow it for once), brief voyeurism from hwa and san, nipple play, wooyoung lowkey has an oral fixation, also he's obsessed with your boobs, actually the others are also obsessed with your boobs (your milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard), lactation, lots of praises, creampie, cockwarming, lowkey wholesome (idk im in my feels)

a/n: yeah for my first woo fic! cant believe it took me this long but i actually absolutely love this piece. it really feels like woo idk like kinda very determined and ambitious but also simping for the one he loves in private... i love him ok? 😣

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divider: @lavendergalactic

“I was just with Yeosang on the phone.” You settled the burgundy lips stick and grabbed your favorite blush. “He said she was exhausted after playing with uncle Sangie all day” you giggled picturing your little girl running around making his uncle crazy.

“Are you really going to wear that?” Wooyoung said as he lifted the dress you had chosen for tonight off the hanger with an almost disappointed expression.

You put down the blush powder and the brush you were holding to lower the volume of your “getting ready” playlist. You sighed, scanning your husband’s distressed face then the scrunched up material in his large balled fist. 

“What’s wrong with this dress? You’ve always liked it and isn’t black your favorite color?” 

“Yes it is but we need to make a strong impression tonight!” Wooyoung said, discarding the dress on the shared bed and disappearing in the adjacent walk-in closet. You shrugged and went back to your blush, time was running out and you still had to do something with your hair that was in the time being wet and wrapped in a towel.

“I have to show just how successful we are to show them how much more I can do for the company. I just have to get the job, '' Wooyoung said while rummaging through your wardrobe.

The CFO position had opened and Wooyoung was not about to miss his chance for a stupid simple black dress. Tonight was about showing off everything he got from the luxurious penthouse apartment in the heart of Seoul to the expensive sports cars tucked away in the garage and of course that included you. Without a doubt his most treasured accomplishment. His beautifully stunning wife. 

His fingers brushed over the sequins he was looking for and he pulled from the hanger a beautiful bodycon long dress. It was corseted at the waist and of a beautiful fiery red. It gave the exact message wooyoung wanted to convey: “alluring, daring, bold��.

He remembered when he saw you for the first time when he was just an intern finishing off university and entering the cruel cold world of business. Wooyoung fell for you on the spot. And the thing with this man is that he always gets what he wants. He was absolutely charming, witty, funny and of course obsessed with you. How could you not fall for him too? A year later he was buying you the ring. And you saw him year after year climbing the corporate ladder, making the right decisions, the right connections until he led the both of you here. 

You made the right choice when you picked him and his company will make the right choice when they’ll promote him. He’ll show them tonight.

He came back from the dressing room as you were taking the towel off your head. 

“Here, wear this!” he said, laying the dress on the bed. You approached him and pointed at the rather revealing dress. 

“Are you sure about this one?” you asked, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Absolutely certain” 

You shrugged once again and unwrapped your satin lounging gown to slip on the dress. As soon as you turned around, Wooyoung's heart jumped in his throat. The dress looked practically sewed onto your skin. It was kissing your frame beautifully and highlighting your womanly features perfectly. 

His eyes dropped to your decolletage and he swallowed hard trying to push back the thought of shoving his face right in your chest, pulling on the red fabric to make your breasts jump out, wrapping his lips around your nipples, sucking them, nibbling at them until they hardened under his hot tongue. Beg you to wrap your hand around his leaking coc-

“If your goal was to show off then it’s mission accomplished” you said, pulling Wooyoung out of his inner turmoil. You shook your shoulder slightly and your husband’s eyes diligently followed the swaying of your breasts which made you smirk. You knew he was holding back with everything he got. He never was able to resist you but you enjoyed watching him try.

“You’re so fucking hot” he breathed out, jaw hanging loose.

“Woo! You don’t think you should be a little more refined than that? That kind of behavior won't impress CEO Park and Chairman Choi” you chuckled as your husband reluctantly peeled his eyes off your chest to settle on your smoked out eyes.

You were a vixen goddess, created solely to have men kneeling at your feet. It was the only explanation that made sense.

Wooyong pulled on the Fendi blazer and checked his Rolex. Time was definitely running out but…

“Fuck them” Wooyoung huffed, taking a step towards you and pulling on the dress to reveal the object of his every fantasies. 

“Woo!! We’re going to be late” you slapped his shoulder, chuckling. He didn’t even last a handful of seconds.

“Please” he puffed quietly, wrapping his large hand around the lump of flesh lightly squeezing it, watching it ooze out of his grasp. He already sounded desperate. And you knew he was by the way his rock hard cock was pressing on your hip. But just in case you didn't catch on yet, Wooyoung made it very clear.

“Please, mommy. Let me have just a little taste” he looked up at you with such pleading eyes. Nothing of the fierce and determined business man he was a second ago and will be in a minute from now.

“Fine baby.” you admitted defeat and instantly wooyoung wetted his pretty lips and wrapped them around your nipples sucking on the bud and pressing them with his palm until they started leaking his favorite treat. So warm, velvety and sweet. Perfect.

He didn’t waste a single drop hungrily sucking and swallowing in big gulps. You moaned at your husband’s fervor before pushing him out lightly.

“Enough”.

Wooyoung extended his neck just to prolong the pleasure for a brief second before he popped off your chest with a lewd wet sound. 

He wiped the milk with his thumb. “Go and get ready” He said before licking a drop o white milk on his thumb. So he turned on his heels and left.

In the next minutes you did your hair in an elegant updo that complimented the rest of the ensemble. And you finished off the look with a pair of opened toed high heeled sandals.

Meanwhile Wooyoung tended to the rest of the preparations and just as he went over the menu one last time with the private chef the doorbell rang. 

“CEO Park, Chairman Choi, please enter” Wooyoung said politely inviting the guests in. 

“Aaaah Wooyoung-ah!” Mr Park tapped Wooyoung’s shoulder in a friendly manner. “Thank you for having us” Mr Choi said, lightly bowing his head, as always his manners were irreproachable.

“Very nice place” Mr Park noted as he admired the high ceiling of the hall and the huge stairway leading to the upstairs.

“Thank you, CEO Park” Wooyoung smiled politely.

“Come on, call me Seonghwa!” he said, tapping his shoulder once again. “We might have to work a little closely, so we better get used to being familiar, huh?” Mr Park gave a light squeeze on his shoulder. Wooyoung’s eyes turned round with surprise. He turned to Mr Choi to make sure he heard correctly and the latter gave him a small knowing smile that creased his cat-like eyes. Wooyoung’s face brightened up, things were going even better than he expected.

“Right, Sannie?”

“Of course! You played your cards well up until now. There’s no reason we should change our minds tonight, right?” The Chairman smiled again.

“Yes! Of course, sir” Wooyoung bowed respectfully and returned the bright smile, radiating. “Please follow me to the living space. My wife will join us short-”

“I’m here, honey” You said from the top of the stairs. Gently picking up your red dress before descending.

As soon as you appeared all three heads whipped to you. You were absolutely stunning, captivating their gaze with just the way your legs were supporting you and letting you down the stairs so elegantly. Wooyoung’s smile grew twice as large when he saw from the corner of his eyes Mr Park’s talkative mouth close in surprise and Mr Choi mechanically pull on the collar of his italian tailored shirt that suddenly felt a little tight. He knew they wanted to throw themselves on their knees and kiss your feet. It was in their mortal nature to worship a goddess like you. 

“Please excuse me. I was held back for a while” you simply excused yourself while the two other men thickly swallowed and tried to regain composure to start articulating something that sounded intelligible. 

“There’s no need to apologize,” Mr Park said, round eyes turning sharp all of a sudden. “You look sublime, Madam” You giggled as he took your hand and laid a soft kiss on the back. 

“Oh thank you, what a charmer” you laughed exchanging a winning look with your husband. 

You knew how much he liked to see other men eyeing you like candy knowing he was the one holding your hand every day and tasting you every night. He loved to show you off. Seeing other men drooling over you, imagining in a split second how a night with you would feel just reminds him you are his. His only. They can look all they want that only fuels your husband.

And the spell was definitely casted as Mr Choi’s gaze was inevitably pulled by the magnetic power of your cleavage, he eyed your chest with little to no restrain. The legendary Choi Clan’s princely manners didn’t last long, Wooyoung thought, grinning to himself.

“Mr Choi, you bowed respectfully making the man blush slightly as he also bowed.

“Mrs. Jung.”

“Please follow me. Let's sit and enjoy tonight” Wooyoung said, saving Mr Choi from more embarrassment. 

As the evening  progressed you all had drinks before moving on to the meal. You captured the attention more than once of the two other men trying so hard not to look below your neckline. Of course they couldn't. But Wooyoung really shined through. He was talking strategy and finance for the company but also knew how to entertain the guests. He was funny but also incredibly competent. That much was obvious. Of course he was! He was your husband. Nothing resisted him. Not even you. 

At some point the night was well advanced, the house staff all went home and after so long you just couldn’t handle anymore of all this attention on you, you needed a little break from it all. You excused yourself to the bathroom. 

Since you had deserted the battlefield you figured you would send a small encouragement to your husband. You took your phone and hit ‘record’. You pulled down the dress once again, making your breast jump out of the fabric, they were so full, already pearling. You lightly palmed them with one hand and pinched your nipple, making yourself moan in release before pulling on it making your tit spurt out a big squirt of white warm milk, you sighed and moaned, your milk spilling on the marble floors. You barely managed to keep your voice down and you figured you should probably stop there before you make an even bigger mess. So you hit ‘send’.

“Where did you find her, Wooyoung-ah? She’s incredible. Right, San?” Mr Park asked, blatant admiration in his voice made airy with the alcohol. Wooyoung laughed, happy to add yet another name to the long list of your suitors. 

“She is quite the lady isn’t she?” Mr Choi agreed, tilting his head back and downing the rest of his whisky, already crimson red in the cheeks.

Wooyoung’s phone chimed when he pulled it out he noticed it was a video file he muted his phone and played the video, without realizing the other two were peeping at the screen. He immediately felt his pants grow tighter as you pulled on the dress revealing your breasts. And when you squirted the milk out he was about to lose it.

“Fuckkk” Mr Choi let out in a quiet whisper.

“Wow” Mr Park breathed simultaneously.

Both their voices were drenched in need and transpired arousal beyond comprehension. Even though they were sitting, there was no need to see below their waistline to know they both were hard and leaking.

All three men looked at each other in shock. For a second silence fell between them. Wooyoung knew he could have been a little more careful and the other two knew they shouldn’t have peeped but it was too tempting. You were too tempting. 

“Looks like she needs you right there, Wooyoung-ah” Mr Choi said before sitting up. “I think we overstayed our welcome. Are you ready to go, CEO Park?”

Wooyoung accompanied them to the front door despite the discomforting tightness of his pants but it was an issue the other two were sharing. 

“I believe we’ll see you in your new office on Monday, CFO Jung?” Mr Choi winked at Wooyoung and went on his way while Mr Park stayed back.

“You’re one lucky bastard, you know that?” he added before joining Mr Choi.

As soon as Wooyoung closed the front door he ran upstairs with big strides to your bedroom where he found you waiting for him standing in the middle of the room. 

“You did such a good job today, Youngie” you said, spreading your arms where he immediately engulfed himself, nuzzling your neck with his nose that you loved so much. You sat him on the edge of the bed while you stood and his face slipped from your neck to your breasts. 

Finally his happy place.

“You were such a good boy for mommy today”

“I was?” he looked up at you with loving, sparkly eyes.

“Yes of course you were, CFO Jung”

“Fuck it sounds so good when you say it” He huffed and you chuckled. 

“You deserve your reward” you zipped down the red gown and let it pool at your feet. Wooyoung almost exploded just looking at you. He wanted to be all over you, to worship you but he knew better than to say anything. He knew he just had to wait and so he did when you stripped him off his clothes until you were both in your simplest forms. 

You pushed on his chest until he was leaning back on his elbows, feet still flat on the floor.

“You’re going to be a good boy and let mommy ride your pretty cock?”

“Y-Yesss mommy. I’ll be g-... fuck- I’ll be so good for you” he panted as you pumped his cock a couple of times between your fingers before straddling him and aligning hm with your entrance. “Look at me baby” you whispered as you were lowering your hips, Wooyoung eyes snapped to yours, they looked so distressed, they were begging for help. And you were about to grant his wish.

“Nhhgggg Fffff- Mommy~” Wooyoung’s last two brain cell were officially bing fried beyond recognition as he felt your warm and wet pussy taking him. You felt like heaven, so tight but so welcoming. So fucking perfect that he had to focus on anything that wasn’t you not to bust immediately. He looked at the moldings on the ceiling or the subtle diamond pattern of the satin sheets just so he could last for you. Be good for you. It was what he desired most. He wanted to make you feel good.

“Mmmhh so good my baby” you cooed, your voice a tad strained. You too were pretty worked up and you knew you wouldn’t last long. All this teasing made you quite impatient and you started to rock your hips back and forth immediately taking a rhythm that you knew was aiming the both of you straight to the finish line. 

“Fuck mommy please I want t-… nghhh- to have mommy’s milk” Wooyoung cried as his cock throbbed inside you. You wrapped your hand around his nape and brought his mouth to your tit. 

“Drink up, baby”

“Fank youph” Wooyoung said his mouth full eagerly sucking on your nipples while your hips rolled and bucked against his, making him see stars and forget about anything that wasn’t you and him. The precious nectar flooded his mouth and he swallowed in thick gulps, white and sweet milk spilling down his chin and dripping onto his abs. 

“Good boy, good baby” you huffed as you picked up the pace earning another perfectly muffled moan from your devastatingly cute husband. You were very close, your cunt clenching down on Wooyoung’s length like it was the last time ever.

“Now you’re gonna cum for ma baby Okay?” you panted. “Make mommy nice and full with your cum, okay?”

“Yeshyeshyesh” Woyoung mumbled, sucking even harder on your hard and leaking nipple. Urging you to rutt your hips even faster making him whine and whimper as his cock was ready to implode inside you.

“Fuckk baby you’re so good. So so good for me~~” 

“Mommyyy” Woyoung said, finally losing it as he took your nipple between his teeth harshly pulling at the skin, squirting a stream of milk onto his wet tongue while he pumped you full of piping hot cum.

You moaned and arched your back as you came undone, the stimulation on your tit paired with the delicious filling sensation in your lower stomach swept you off in a wave of mind numbing pleasure, your cunt throbbing around Wooyoung’s cock until it was certain he had given you everything he had to offer. 

You stayed exactly like this. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him tight to your chest as you both tried to catch your breath, mind pleasantly fuzzy after an intense orgasm.

After a while you pulled back slightly, careful to not let his softening cock slip out, keeping him nice and snug inside your heat. You kissed his pretty and reddened face, his cheeks, moles,  nose and lips. Everywhere you could, pushing his dampened hair out of his pretty eyes.

“Excellent work, CFO Jung. The company is lucky to have you. But I’m even luckier.”

a/n: thanks for reading <3333

3k celebration | ateez masterlist | navigation

[stupidlittlespirit]

THOUGHTS ON PANTY SNATCHER FORD [holds out mic]

yes.

but not 'intentionally'.

*puts on lab coat and taps clipboard*

I think purposefully stealing underwear is a Stan thing, but that Ford would accidentally seize the opportunity if it arose. (for some reason I think of both of them when I think of this one specific behaviour, idk why)

Ford considers himself to be above things like that. He tells himself he isn't weak of the flesh or however he wants to phrase it, and he wouldn't be caught dead engaging in something so perverted.... Except.....

I'm going to set this in the MTB au to illustrate what I mean.

Remember what I mentioned in Spores that Reader will take care of the house when Stan and Ford are away at sea? Well, perhaps they stay over for a night or two (normal, allowed, they're just keeping an eye on things) and they do some of their laundry there. Let's say they accidentally, carelessly, leave a pair of their underwear in the laundry room and don't even notice it.

So they go about their day-to-day none the wiser (it's just one pair, they're probably not gonna notice) and leave etc.

And eventually, Ford and Stan return home.

Ford goes to wash some of their clothes from the trip and uh oh! accidentally discovers Reader's underwear in the drum of the washing machine.

He's embarrassed, of course, and is initially like 'oh no, I'll have to expertly craft some kind of scenario where I can get these back into Reader's possession without them noticing'. And he means that, he really will try and return them to Reader, but then he holds them and feels them and studies them for maybe a little longer than he needs to..... He imagines things and then berates himself for doing so, and just as he's about to force himself to tuck them away somewhere and carry on with his task, Stan is shouldering his way into the laundry room to ask Ford something unrelated.

Panicking, Ford then pockets the underwear because he doesn't want his brother to see them and accuse him of something unsavoury or be gross himself about it.

They talk about whatever and Ford forgets all about it.... Until, that is, later that night.

Ford is locked away in his bedroom, undressing for the night, and as he takes off his jeans, the pair of underwear falls from the pocket of them and onto the floor.

He abruptly remembers and snatches them up, putting them on his nightstand and telling himself he'll return them first thing; he'll call by Reader's house or have them over for a 'welcome back' dinner or something and find an opportunity to slip them into their bag or whatever.

But once he's in bed, he just finds his eye drawn back to them time and time again. He can't help himself. He can't keep his mind off of them. It's driving him nuts.

So he gives in a bit. It's just curiosity, right? If he allows himself to look them over fully then it'll be sated and he can just forget it and move on. Except. Now that he's got them in his hands again....

Now he's wondering what they look like when they're on Reader.... Do the bands dig into the soft parts of Reader's hips? Do they ride up when they wear them? Whilst he's been at sea, have they wandered around the house in just these?

Have they gotten themselves off whilst wearing them?

And fuck fuck fuck, now he's hard. Great.

Cue twenty minutes of him arguing back and forth in his head about how this is wrong and weird, and he's not some creep or low life like his brother (affectionate), he's not going to jerk off over his housekeeper's underwear! Gross!

Unless....?

It's not like anyone will find out if he did, is it? He has plausible deniability ("no, I haven't seen any of your things laying around the house, I've been at sea for three months, why do you ask?") and it's unlikely Reader will come straight out and say they left their underwear here, so he's probably not going to be questioned on it.

So without even really being conscious about it, he sneaks a hand under the band of his briefs and leisurely, he starts to touch himself with them. He starts slow because he's still not sure if he wants to back out of it, but after a few minutes, he realises it feels too good to stop.

I mean, if he's been at sea with his brother for months, with no time to himself and no opportunity for privacy, he's probably fairly pent up and looking for release of some kind. Who can blame him if his thinking is a bit illogical, right?

The next thing he knows, he's ruining them completely and cumming so hard that he has to bite his pillow to keep himself quiet.

And the guilt eats him up afterwards, of course. He knows it's wrong and he can't believe he's done it, he feels terrible about it. He scrambles to clean up the evidence and dispose of any traces of his 'crimes', and he knows he'll need to deal with the underwear itself, too.

But he can't quite bring himself to get rid of them, either. After all, it's not like he can return them to Reader, even if he launders them, so his only option really is to throw them out.

Still, that seems like such a waste, doesn't it? They're perfectly good (once they're clean) and surely Stan would see them in the trash anyway.... So maybe he'll just have to keep them safe in the bottom of his dresser drawer....Maybe he'll have to make sure no real perverts get their hands on them if they go rifling through the garbage.... Really, he's doing this to protect Reader, you see. It's all for the greater good.

Little weirdo. I love him.

[themultifanshipper]

With how dominant Ferrari seemed in Austin, you assumed you'd be seeing mostly red for three weeks.

You were very happy to be proven wrong.

Part 6 of One of the Boys

Warnings: smut, threesome, multiple threesomes in fact, six different partners in one fic whew, voyeurism?, brief double penetration, EIFFEL TOWER WITH THE FRENCH MEN Y'ALL, Pierre's canonically massive shlong, oral, shower sex, gaping and also Max having a weird kink at the end idk where that came from

The triple header was intense. In more ways than one.

COTA made you sore.

Well more accurately, Charles and Carlos made you sore after getting a Ferrari 1-2.

They decided to celebrate their success as teammates given that they didn't get such good results very often at the moment.

So they took turns with you.

Imagine getting passed around by your partners while they compete to see who can fuck you better and make you come harder.

They wrote their names on your thighs and put tally marks next to them every time they came inside you, until you were absolutely covered in tally marks and fucked out of your mind.

It was mind numbing, and when they finally let you sleep, the sun was almost up and you had flights to catch.

Luckily all three of you had booked a spot in the same private jet, along with a few other drivers.

Needless to say, they decided to continue the festivities on the jet, much to everyone else' displeasure.

The other drivers were hungover, and moody because of the noises coming from the private room at the back where you were getting your already abused cunt stretched by the two cocks that had beat them all in the race.

Mexico was looking pretty good once again for Ferrari, but Charles backed out of the celebrations because, and I quote “he had stuff to do”, which left you to the mercy of Carlos and Lando.

And mercy is one thing those two did not have.

When they got together it was chaos at the best of times.

But that night they bent you into shapes you didn't know you could manage.

Your favourite part was when they were standing and holding you up.

Carlos held you up by your thighs, keeping them spread with your back to his chest while he buried himself in your ass.

At first Lando was down on his knees, lapping at your drooling cunt while Carlos' balls slapped against his chin every time he thrust into you.

But once he'd quenched his thirst he stood up and slid into your tight heat, the pressure against your walls making you see stars as they bounced you on their cocks.

It was just as exhausting as the week before, the two of them obviously having unreal stamina.

You limped around that week, taking it easy and doing your best to recover for Brazil.

Practice was fine. Sprint quali was… well it was.

Then the sprint happened. It was chaotic and everyone was exhausted given the circumstances, and the hours of waiting under the rain for qualifying to start was not helping the collective mood.

Everyone went to bed equal parts frustrated and relieved that It was happening in the morning.

Qualifying came and went.

No comment.

The race? Well it was anyone's game really.

You bit your nails anxiously as you watched everyone slide off the track and/or crash. Not a single driver was safe from the disastrous track conditions.

Max came to see you during the last red flag.

“I'm going to get that fucking win” he said, holding you in his arms possessively. “I'm going to win this fucking race and then I'll get you all to myself tonight”

“Now now, Max.” you chided “you still have an Alpine to get past, and although I’m sure you will, if Pierre and Esteban both end up on the podium, I am definitely going to give them a reward”

Max scowled, and tried to argue, but you managed to convince him by promising that if he could be a good boy and watch silently, you’d give him his own private reward afterwards.

Besides… your body, your choice. And your boys always respected that.

Well, Max winning the race was a shock to most people, given where he started, but not to you. You knew he would do anything to get what he wanted.

And what he wanted was you.

That much was obvious the moment you opened your door and found him standing there, ready to pounce on you.

“Patience, Max. Let the Frenchmen have their turn” you smirked and led him over to his cuck chair.

You didn’t wait long for the others to arrive, they were just as eager as Max to get things rolling.

Pierre led you to the bed, sitting you down on it while he unbuckled his belt, eager to have your mouth on him.

You salivated at the sight of his cock, of which the rumours couldn't do justice.

You sucked on his tip gently, taking more of him every time his hips bucked involuntarily.

“I've always wanted to know what you'd look like with your mouth around my cock. And fuck- you're amazing”

He tipped his head back in pleasure as he got closer to the edge surprisingly quickly.

Esteban was behind him, slowly getting undressed while smirking at Max, who was still waiting patiently in the chair, with an obvious tent in his pants.

You were pulled off Pierre's cock by Este' hand in your hair and you heaved in a breath of air.

Pierre helped undress you and got you on all fours between them.

“Have you ever been to Paris?”  Pierre whispered from behind while he was draped over your body, and Esteban chuckled.

You let out a huff as he inserted two fingers inside your embarrassingly wet cunt.

“If that's a joke about the Eiffel tower, don't bother Pierre, I've heard it all before”

Pierre added a third finger before responding.

“Then let me tell you that we will not go easy on you…”

His thick digits were stroking the deepest parts of you, and you could feel yourself slowly losing the ability to speak.

Before long, Pierre was rubbing himself against you and you squirmed as he brushed over your still slightly sore clit.

When he pushed the tip in you knew you were a goner.

It was already stretching you out and he barely had an inch inside you.

Slowly he fit his entire length inside you and stayed like that as he felt your walls pulsing around him.

“Jesus” you choked out “You're so deep…”

Pierre chuckled evilly and rolled his hips as you shuddered with the pleasure of the intense stretch.

Esteban brought your chin up to look at him and he rubbed his tip over your lips, the taste of his precum hitting your senses and you moaned, opening your mouth so he could slide his own cock in.

Contrary to Pierre's words from before, they were being extremely gentle with you. Esteban was careful not to choke you and Pierre's languid thrusts were slow and deliberate, and were driving you utterly insane with need.

As your orgasm crept up on you, you started rocking back and forth between the two Frenchmen, whining desperately as your body started shaking.

“Look at you.. so desperate for cock” Esteban cooed while he stroked your cheek tenderly.

“I can feel you clenching around me baby, I know you're close, you can let go for me” Pierre said and you did just that, creaming around him while his thrusts got sloppier and sloppier as he approached his own orgasm.

Max was not having a good time.

Well, that's half a lie, he was scowling angrily at the others, but his hand was squeezing his cock through his pants, which were becoming unbearably tight at the moment.

He’d never seen Esteban or Pierre in action, but he had to admit you looked very good between them, and they were obviously very good at reading your body despite having had little to no experience with you.

Pierre slid out of you gently and the sound was obscene as your abused cunt struggled to keep him inside.

He fisted his cock hard and fast over you, staring at your twitching hole with an intensity that made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

“My god, I really stretched you out, you’re gaping” he groaned, and came in spurts all over your thighs and puffy, quivering mess of a cunt.

Esteban came in your mouth shortly after, cursing in French and muttering something about your mouth being absolute heaven.

Pierre dragged a couple of fingers through the mess, and brought them to your lips, which you eagerly parted to suck on the mix of his and your cum.

“Fucking hell… such a good girl” he glanced over at Max “I could do this all night… but I think Max might actually kill us if we stay much longer”

You glanced at the man in the corner, and he indeed looked like he wanted nothing more than to kick the other two out.

You giggled at him softly and beckoned him over while Pierre and Esteban got dressed.

He sat next to you, putting a warm hand on your thigh and asked if you were alright.

“Absolutely” you winked at the two men behind him then pulled Max in for a heated kiss.

“I don’t know about you, but I need a shower now. Join me?” you asked cheekily, getting up to give the Frenchmen a goodbye kiss each, while they ogled your naked body.

“Beautiful as always” Esteban smiled and Pierre rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, she’s a goddess, now let’s go before we get our necks broken”

You laughed as they walked over to the door, sending you flying kisses before disappearing through it.

Within a second of it being shut, Max’s body pressed against yours from behind.

“Why don’t I help you clean up, hmm?”

You turned around in his arms and grinned up at him.

“With pleasure”

What followed was possibly the softest sex you’d ever had.

Max lathered you up, washing all the cum and sweat off your body before turning you around against the glass door and pressing you against it.

“I need you so bad, schat” he groaned as you spread your legs and arched your back towards him.

“Then have me Max, I’m all yours”

He moaned as he slipped inside you with barely any resistance.

“Fuck! Pierre was right, you’re so loose…”

Despite all the negative connotations around being loose down there, Max seemed to find it incredibly hot as he whined into the back of your neck.

He thrusted in and out of you slowly as his hips shook with the effort of holding himself back from pounding into you with all his might. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you.

“I’m not- fuck, I’m not going to last long schat… this is so…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead using his remaining brain power to slide a hand down your body to circle your clit with mind blowing precision.

“Max, fuck-” you panted, the angle of his hips making his cock rub against that spot that left you breathless every single time. He knew your body like none of the other drivers ever could.

You both came together, panting against the glass and moaning as he filled you up to the brim, only for his cum to leak out of you immediately with how stretched out you were.

Max tried pushing it back in with his fingers but he groaned when he realised he could slip four of them inside easily.

“Give me a minute and I can go again, my god…” he sounded out of breath.

“Maaax…” you huffed “I don’t think I can come again after that”

He laughed and pulled his hand away “I know sweetheart, I was joking” he kissed the back of your neck sweetly before turning the water off and getting out to grab a towel for you.

You both dried off quickly and slipped into bed, curled up in each other’s arms contentedly.

Neither of you said much, until you were half unconscious and Max muttered the most unhinged sentence ever.

“Do you think next time I win, I could try getting my whole fist inside you?”

“Jesus Christ Max! You need to warn me before you say things like that” you gasped as you slapped his chest lightly.

“You didn’t answer my question” he reiterated once you’d settled back down in his arms.

You sighed.

“Go to sleep, Max. We can discuss your next prize if and when you win again”

Max huffed out a laugh and tightened his hold around your body.

“Brat”

[candiid-caniine]

slutpuppy tip of the day ✨

look ppl I've never been good at humping. idk if it's my anatomy or my lack of hip mobility or what, but humping the way I see in porn gifs has never worked for me, and it's always made me rly sad bc humping is just soooo puppy 😭

until now!!

if ur like me, and humping is difficult for you, and you want a way to make yourself look even more pathetic while edging, read on ✨

you will need:

(probably) a cunt - may work with a penis but I don't have one so idk!

pillows for support

a wand vibrator (others will prob work as long as they're sturdy/securable)

some way to keep it upright

here's what you're gonna do:

find a comfy position in some combination of chest down, ass up. get creative w pillows :)

secure your vibe upright below your spread legs ;) I did this by literally moving my arm under me and holding it in position, but I got a crick in my shoulder for it, so won't be doing that again ✌️ lol

you want it to be somewhere you can easily rub your clit/cock against it by moving ur hips up and down.

once it's there...get humping :3 think rly hard about how pathetically needy you must look, with your legs spread humping like a lil puppy dog 💕

notes:

this is a great (read: terrible!! mean!!!) exercise in self control. u have to either physically drop the vibe when ur at the edge, or move your hips away if it's secured some other way.

the problem ofc is that being in humpy drooly puppy mode makes this rlly hard >:c can't think.. can't rebmemer 😭

so I ruined before I was planning to. and let me fucking tell u. something about being in that position, both being so spread open and also being hella humiliated, made my ruin so. fucking. meannnn. I whined into my pillow and humped the air like a dumb slut 💕

given that this had me such a drooly puppy mess, I'll probably be made to edge like this for the foreseeable future 😭

possible variations:

if ur a dom and u make ur sub do this while ur passively ignoring them n throwing out little mean comments once in awhile as they put their ass into it just to get ur attention?? ur so mean 😭 ur so hot I'm begging u to DM me lol

securing the vibe independently and putting the sub in bondage that only juuuust allows them to hump properly is. hh.. (obviously do this safely af, esp if doing it solo)

u could experiment with the position of the vibe, then put constraints on your bodily positioning, to essentially make it doubly hard to get enough stimulation to hit the edge 🥺 juust add to the frustration and the desperation 💕

would be great in combo with other toys...puppy tail plug? labia spreader? dildo gag??

or even...some kind of spiky thing, also secured in the area, that would mean every time u rut against the vibrator, somethin painful is digging into ur ass or labia or w/e 💕💕

combine it w hypno. combine it w a humiliating mantra. combine it w figging. this could work with so many types of scenes :3

[spoopdeedoop]

umm cool thing!! i wanna say!!

idk if anyone remembers the litle soft mod keychain ideas i was saying i'd make but soon they will be REAL! and YOU CAN HAVE ONE TOO! preorders will open TOMORROW at around 10am AEST (8pm EST) so you too can have a little guy to put in the microwave if you so please! or on your bag if you're a boring normal person

website is here! spoopdeedoop.bigcartel.com

extra info and pics under the cut!

1.) all prices are in AUD, NOT USD. the keychains are priced at about 20 AUD each which is about 13 bucks in USD! there's also a bundle option which lets you buy both of em at a slightly discounted price should you want to keep them together :)

2.) these are PREORDERS! i'll start ordering products after the preorder period ends. ordering + production takes roughly about a month. i'm also still in school, so please be patient with me in general! the preorder period MAY be extended depending on interest, but as of now they should be going for about two to three weeks!

3.) if all goes according to plan i should be doing all the packaging myself, so some orders may come with some little freebie thankyou doodles or stickers if i like ya :) (i'll be doing my best to personalize all orders if i can!)

4.) i'll try my best to keep you guys updated with dates n junk both on here and on m twitter! (which is @/spoopdeeedoop). a huuuuge thank you for all the support and love for my art! this mod means a lot to me and i'm glad i can do this little thing for it :)

and these are what the keychains look like irl! i'll post more photos of them once preorders open :)

[mykmi]

mean dom beomgyu + maybe public sex? and somnophilia (all consensual ofc). and maybe a little aftercare if you can :T

OHHHH i absolutely love meannnn beomgyu + somnophilia 😩😩😩 i'll write these two separately cause i can't imagine it at the same time with aftercare lol

ALSO thank you for all the requests!!! i'll try to do them asap, hope you all understand :,,(( it's actually my first smut post so i hope it's not cringe :/

leather miniskirt

pairing: mean dom!beomgyu x sub!afab!reader genre: smut warnings: nsfw content, afab!reader (reader has pussy), mean beomgyu (but sweet too?), public sex (kinda) (consensual), protected sex, fingering, penetration, choking (just a bit), aftercare (a little), mdni!! (if i forgot anything feel free to tell me!!) a/n: idk why but it took me longer than i thought.... i have uni and a new job so it was challenging :,) i've ruined my sleep schedule for this so i hope you enjoy!! <///3

shopping usually went by quickly as you weren't particularly picky or patient, but with autumn approaching you found yourself needing a lot of new clothes. you and your boyfriend beomgyu have spent about one hour and a half in the mall, and he was starting to get tired.

so when he saw you trying on a leather miniskirt and twirling around, asking his opinion, the only thing that came to his mind was to sneak into your fitting room right after you went back in.

“gyu?..” you whispered questioningly, not suspecting anything. but when he shut the curtain and looked at you, you knew what he was up to. his eyes were filled with lust – his gaze intense and dark that he almost seemed like a different person.

beomgyu hovers over you, as you barely reach his shoulder; you look up at him, gulping nervously as he steps closer.

“what-”

“just shut up”, he commands, crushing his lips on yours. your mind went blank in an instant: feeling his arms hugging you, pulling you to him, his plump lips kissing you with such passion, not leaving even a bit of space or time to breathe, as if to suffocate you with desire.

there was so much of hunger and pleasure in that single kiss, that quickly escalated into a makeout session as beomgyu's hands started wandering all over you, trying to find places they hadn't touched yet, grabbing your waist and ass. all you could do was to place your hands on his shoulders, kissing him back barely enough to match his energy as the air around grew hotter and hotter.

and when his fingers laid on the skin of your bare thighs under the miniskirt you didn't even have time to take off, you gasped into his lips slightly, trying to not create noise, keeping in head the place you're in.

beomgyu pushes you to the wall with his other hand, not leaving even an inch between you both. he keeps kissing you, now pushing his tongue in just as rudely, unexpected and uninvited. and as he pulls away from you, you can finally breathe in some fresh air.

“can you keep quiet?” beomgyu whispers, moving his fingers on your thigh even higher, coming closer to the heat. trying to catch your breath, you nod desperately, already too caught up in the process.

“actually, i don't really care. but if we get caught, it's gonna be your fault”, he smiles mischievously and proudly. “did you understand?”

“mhm”, you nod again, however it seems unsatisfying to beomgyu. he grabs your neck, forcing you to look him straight in the eyes.

“say it out loud”, commands again, his voice quiet and husky.

“yes”, the answer comes out as a shaky whisper, your breath still unsteady.

“good”, beomgyu smirks, his dark eyes sparkling; he enjoys the power he has when he touches you.

so, he raises your leather miniskirt, revealing a sight of your grey underwear with a dark spot on it.

“i still can't believe how wet you get just from kissing”, he lets out a small chuckle, putting his hand over your panties, rubbing you through it. your breath is uneven, the knot of heat lower the belly gets more distinct with every rub, and the chest feels heavier than ever. beomgyu's long fingers do not take much time pulling your panties to the side and finally getting to your wet pussy.

“so pretty”, he looks at it, almost drooling, but still holding himself together. “just for me, yeah?”

“yeah..” you sigh, all worked up with excitement. and when gyu finally slips his middle finger in, you can't help but moan, dangerously loud.

“do you want to get caught?” the question sounds mocking, which it most likely is. you shake your head faintly, already feeling weak all over. beomgyu's finger speeds up, brushing on your clit, creating lewd noises that are not normal to hear from a fitting room.

“then why don't you keep quiet?” he licks his lips, increasing the speed non-stop. another finger in. at this point, you can do nothing but whimper pathetically and hold onto gyu's shoulders to keep standing, feeling the stimulation on your sensitive clit.

“tell me, i wanna hear you”, whispers in your ear, leaving a slow, wet kiss on your neck.

“i-it's good..” you mumble, rolling your eyes and still whimpering silently. beomgyu grins against your skin, now going on an unbearable pace, showing you no mercy. you were now crying soundlessly, trying your best to not let out a single moan. your hands grip on your boyfriend's shoulders as he continues to finger fuck you ruthlessly.

the adrenaline rush just makes your sensations five times more vivid. the thought of getting caught and trying everything to prevent it takes a lot of energy but intensifies it at once.

beomgyu's movements are so fast and pleasing that you feel your orgasm creeping up quickly.

“g-gyuu..” you whine, closing your eyes, barely able to see stand. “i'm.. i'm close…”

“oh, really?” gyu's voice echoes, mixing with your soft moans, as you're approaching your high. but suddenly, he stops, leaving you empty and desperate.

“gyu, please..” you cry out, feeling the burning in your pussy; it aches for release. “don't… don't stop, please”

“you got a lot, don't you think?” beomgyu brings his wet fingers to your mouth, pushing them in without warning. you start to lick your own juices off it, choking slightly. “now i'm gonna have fun too. it's fair, isn't it?”

you cough, swallowing everything. gyu opens his zipper, lowers his pants down, and pulls his dick out. you weren't even looking down before, so when you see how hard he is, you're kinda shocked.

he takes the condom out of his pocket and starts putting it on his dick; glancing at your face – unfocused, tired eyes, rosy cheeks, and glistening lips.

“you're so pretty”, beomgyu whispers, pulling you into another messy kiss, holding your cheek firmly. your tongues intertwining, lips are covered in wetness and hot breath is burning on the skin of both of you. “you should stay quiet”

he brushes the tip over your pussy, sending goosebumps across your skin. it takes a lot of effort to even keep breathing and especially breathing evenly. finally, he pushes in, filling the emptiness his fingers left behind.

“oh, god, you're so hot”, your warm pussy walls tighten around beomgyu's thick dick, making it hard for him to move.

you hold onto his forearms, your legs shaking from the overstimulation; he holds your hips with a grip that will leave marks for sure; his dick is in and out, and beomgyu picks the same pace that he left on straightaway. he tries to stay quiet, but soft moans come out here and there. and you try your best to not scream your lungs out, overwhelming sensitivity takes over and fills you up. the sweat comes out on his forehead and makes his dark hair stick on it; he looks so good like this.

beomgyu pounds into you relentlessly, pulling your hips to him to match his tempo. you whine into the air, in hopes of reaching your high finally; it starts to hurt being so overstimulated.

“oh god.. you're so good”, beomgyu sighs, not slowing down. “i'm close… are you?”

you don't have the strength to speak, so you just nod with your eyes squinted.

“dick so good you can't speak, huh?” he laughs, thrusting into you faster. “oh god”

the fitting room is filled with soft, quiet moans and whines as you finally reach the end. and as you both reach your orgasm, in 10 seconds, you let a single loud moan out and lose all the energy, going limp; beomgyu moans too with his whole chest, throwing his head back, feeling his dick releasing inside the condom.

a minute passes by with you both catching your breath and cleaning up.

“thank you, darling”, beomgyu pats your head and kisses you once again, but this time much softer and nicer. “you did so good”

“thank you too” you whisper back to him. gyu hugs you by your shoulders, covering you with his body, and places a kiss on you head.

“now we have to get out of here safely”, he smiles at you, turning around to peek through the curtain. “and i'll buy you that miniskirt”

✉ thank you for reading ✉

[instantpansies]

ok so @mostlyintact and i were talking about the strengths of each of the sfth boys, and i think i was finally able to get some words out, so i thought i'd make a real post lol. a brief summary of each of their strengths, and examples of plays where those things are visible.

longish post, so i'll put it under the cut.

aj: he really shines in caesar and juliet. the narrative sort of revolves around juliet, and aj gets to really drive the story forward. his portrayal is iconic and natural and just so fun to watch. also, he's excellent in the oopsie daisy bulge, the grape depression, and priscilla's final petal: all plays in which he's got a whole lot of control over the way his characters are going, and gets some shining moments to drive the scenes forward in really compelling ways. he really reveals himself as a director and storyteller. also obviously death for a dollar, where he IS the actual narrator. to be honest, aj might be my favorite from an acting standpoint: his quick turnarounds and seemingly wild word associations and ability to grab a single piece of information and turn it into a whole story is both amazing and very similar to my own style of improv, and seeing him do it so well (even if he gets made fun of for being confused) is just. delightful. idk. his scenes where he's playing two characters at once (in grapression and oopsie daisy) might be the best of all the boys', to be honest.

sam: i think he does well when he's the center of a web of connections. his performance in, say, the evil make-a-wish kid is really fun, where the narrative is focused on him alone, but my favorites are things like the mystery of the midnight circus, the unrelenting aubergine, strange noises, or moist and magical. his characters feel more like an "everyman" in some ways, but always with a really unique personality. theyre relatable without being blank slates. excellent protagonists made better by their worlds. he takes the energy surrounding him onstage and sends it electric at the audience, using his surroundings to bring you in. it's really cool

tom: he is absolutely enamoring as certain archetypes. and he does an excellent job of making an impact with even the smallest amount of screentime. i'm always a sucker for abigail from the neighbour's under the bed--the monologue, the mannerisms--but a lot of that comes from a whole lot of overanalysis of her character, and that's not really relevant here. instead i'll say he's really really good at capturing the audience in death for a dollar, wild wet and worrisome, ballet on the battlefield, wine under the bridge, and priscilla's final petal. but tbh i could point to memorable scenes from almost every single tom character, he's so good at making his time count. his english degree comes out, ofc, which gives us those glorious tomologues, but also he can build up tension so naturally and make a silly story seem so real for a moment. sometimes that "oscar bait" moment can distract from the plot as a whole, but you don't think about it while you're watching him because he's so good at filling the space (to use a theater term).

luke: he's the absolute king of sympathetic characters. no matter how ridiculous the rest of the play is, you can always count on him adding a layer of humanity to his characters. it's easy to see in the milkman, of course, but also in divorces and teddy bears, wine under the bridge, toby's secret pocket, and the grape depression. his people are human, in ways that the others sometimes forget to be, and his storylines are impressively coherent. he seems to be the most concerned with getting the details right--sam nitpicks to get a laugh, but luke keeps track of details really really well, and does a good job of bringing in little things that make a story come together beautifully. more than anything, though, he is so good at building a character throughout a story and leaving you actually satisfied with what you got.

they each have really unique and somewhat specific strengths, but they complement each other so well. i think that's part of the appeal of sfth - they're so so comfortable with each other and find it so easy to read each other that you can tell they're having fun. it feels natural. they click, almost all the time, and even if things go off the rails they can pick up the debris from the crash and run with it. that's what i found really appealing about them--as someone who loved improv when i got to do it, it makes me wish i had friends close enough to do that with. it takes a ton of trust and a really solid relationship to do that, and i just. i just think they're neat :)

thank you so much mostlyintact, i can't come up with this sort of thing without prompting and i can't wait to see if you end up posting smth too 👀 love hyperspecific analysis