#idk i would love to hear from the peanut gallery on this

[emilyaxford]

i'm applying for hybrid/in-person jobs because i don't think working fully remotely is great for me, which means that when i get one i'm going to have to buy some actual work clothing*. and i kind of want to go the steve jobs route and just wear the exact same thing every day. i have no interest in competing with the aritizia girlies and i don't really have a sense of style anymore, plus i'm sooo out of practice with having to pick a different outfit every day and frankly it now feels like a waste of time. but i don't know if this decision would be a cool-rebuttal-to-societal-standards-for women's-fashion-in-the-workplace decision or a going-to-alienate-you-from-your-peers decision

[kiefbowl]

Everytime I say to myself "im bisexual" i get this sense of deep guilt, and i just feel like crying flor some reason.

I know im not straight and i know im not a lesbian so the only logical conclusion is that I'm bi but i just dont feel like I am? I also dont feel like I'm allowed to have these feelings of struggle because i see people online say women are prtending to be bi for queer points so i feel like I'm overreacting you know.

Everytime I think of myself being in a relationship with a woman i feel a deep sense of shame.

I feel guilty like im a monster you know. I grew up in a homophobic country and only moved out like 3 years ago so i think maybe thats why ? Idk im just lost. I see people online just like being super happy about being lgb and im like why am I struggling? Im not supposed to feel this way. I feel like a fraud.

I was outed, kind of, I mean I wanst even sure i was bi but she told everyone and like my friends started behaving differently towards me and idk I just well first of all why did she tell people?? I didnt even know if i was into women i just wanst sure i wanted to make sense of it first i felt exposed in a way(dont worry my uni was chill so no physical harm or anyhting like thta)

Like that was my thing!! It was my fukcing thing and you don't get to tell people about it . Why did she do that. I know its not a big deal but now like if you ask me if im out i would say no ? Like no one knows im bi here in this new country.

Im rambling.

I have never said the word "im bisexual" out loud like ever

I'm going to give you permission about something you haven't specifically asked for, but in my wisdom I'm going to grant you this permission:

You don't have to know.

It's okay! You've moved, you're young, you're getting away from homophobia and finding new kinds of homophobia...that's too much stress, just stop worrying about it. So you don't know today, who cares? You'll figure it out. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years.

If it's causing you this amount of stress, and if all the voices of all these people in your head causing you doubt, then you aren't allowing yourself to discover by simply living. You're becoming a police officer in you head, and you're navel gazing as a form of punishment, and let me tell you, even if you were straight as ruler that wouldn't help you find love and fulfillment.

You're sexual orientation is something natural within you. So whatever feels natural, that's the truth of the matter. If you are trying to attack this as a thinking problem that needs solving, you just won't get there. Go out and party, go out and enjoy people's company, go set life goals and focus on them...and one day when you're not thinking about it you will meet someone you can't deny is the most lovely, beautiful person in the whole world and all you want to do is kiss them. And then you'll know.

This is about no one else but you. This is your sexual orientation, this is your life, and you don't need a peanut gallery weighing in. Fire your shitty friends if you have to. If people ask, you can say "I'm figuring it out" or even flat out say "that's none of your f*cking business." Or, if you want to be funny, pretend you have a very selective hearing problem.

Prioritize the things that you know are fulfilling you right now, and all the stuff you don't know yet will come back around in due time. This is true of love as it's true of everything else we obsess about. You don't have to know everything about yourself to be a good person.

Good luck, sis. Have fun smooching cuties, studying seriously, and enjoying the sun.

[calweathers17]

HEADCANONS‼️

CAL WEATHERS!!

Fucking clumsy, by that I mean constantly falling, tripping, spilling things, knocking things, bumping into people seriously don't play basketball with this guy or especially not football, even falls while just standing in one place he probably wouldn't even dare to stand if he was forced to wear high heels.

Used to be in a Volleyball team

"You don't have to run up and down I think it's perfect."

Although he quit after getting into racing.

Welcome your local cat lover, small note here Strip is allergic to cats, must suck but anyways Cal once found a small family of cats, a protective yet sweet and clingy mother cat with 4 kittens. You must picture that scene where he found them in the barn but can't take them home due to his uncles allergies so after school or whenever he could he would check up on them bring the mother food and give them a nice ...place blanket or whatever (obviously after earning the cat's trust) and would keep it a secret but obviously Strip would sometimes go there and eventually Cal revealed the secret but begged his uncle and aunt not to move them. He didn't dare to take risks (my boy knows a lot about cats).

With a very cool person I know‼️ we made up the fact Strip is allergic to both cats and peanuts the same with Cal but he's only allergic to peanuts.

Trans, FtM ‼️

"I just never felt right being called Carol and being seen like that but when they called me Cal." - LIFE CHANGING QUOTE YALL

Has been living with Strip and Lynda since he was 13 and met Bobby in highschool → went to 2 highschools after hardly convincing his uncle to let him switch schools, 9th grade in a normal highschool before going to a school to learn coding and other computer things.......yes (quick note I have no idea how different the American and Hungarian school system is so if I got shit wrong I will remake it.) He met Bobby after switching schools.

Likes art and is quite good at it mostly drawing planes and cars sometimes people, but got into racing more after meeting Bobby who's been a big race fan for years...also likes graffiti art but only did them after switching schools.

Mostly grunge and rock music listener.

Plays the guitar.

Kinda random...once stole an ukulele from some small art meeting thing (IDK WHAT IT'S CALLED outside of school activity)

BOBBY SWIFT!!!

HERE COMES MY RACING FAN I don't have much for them YET

Got into art after Cal, being his biggest fan and supporter on the topic.

Was the first to befriend Cal once my boy moved schools

Likes cats but more of a ... Guinea pig person don't ask how.

Lives with their father, total dick though. They got the first ever support for their racing dreams from Brick (knows him since the start of Highschool, them, Brick and Cal made a pretty great trio)

Who's someone who gets under my hcs and doesn't have gender problems? Welcome my Agender dude (or demiboy, still deciding..)

"This he thing just doesn't seem to fit me, that's all."

It/they

Brick supports him, wouldn't hold back if anyone ever bullied them for it. Although Bobby never really told his father and probably won't.

Not much of a music listener but listens to whatever Cal does

Got into guitar playing after Cal and loves hearing him play it.

Small thing for my Swiftweathers fellas

After the meeting Cal started drawing people more and you could maybe guess who he was drawing!

Cal can talk for hours about cats and cars, Bobby would listen. Bobby can talk for hours about cars and racing and Cal would listen.

Graffiti art mentioned? Bobby already joked / stated if they ever become a racer their racing number would be 19 and their car would be....probably purple ( I got cool news!)

↓↓

Cal already could do graffiti art, his first one (on wall,.. if it makes sense) was the number 19, (obviously detailed and colored) small gift for Bobby (who still has it in their gallery and even as a wallpaper) although they eventually did get into trouble for it that was for something else but not the 19 one.

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 17: 1x23 The Omega Glory

Watched the very uneven episode “The Omega Glory” today. Upon some reflection.. I think I have seen it? But I think my last rewatch ended abruptly after “By Any Other Name” so it might have been some time ago.

Anyway, it was... something. Decent, I might even say good, until the last 10-15 minutes and then it just went off a cliff? That’s how I’d summarize it.

Sulu, my beloved. I’ve missed you.

Kirk knows where all the ships are. I mean, obviously, but I love to hear it.

Phasers on heavy stun huh?

It’s so weird to be on a different ship. That looks like the same ship. It’s so empty and haunted looking.

With creepy crystal remains of bodies everywhere.

“These white crystals... are the crew.”

Something was thirsty!! Perhaps... a water vampire? Perhaps... a former McCoy girlfriend?

(Honestly having watched the whole ep...they could have expanded this intro longer. It was creepy and mysterious. Then cut the last act.)

Oh no, they’ve been infected and now must quarantine. Sort of. I guess.

...Oh no, is this Vietnam? Again?

“Our old enemy, Vietnam.”

My mother suggested the disease might be communism and I don’t think that metaphor tracks through the whole episode but you know what.. anything’s possible.

I don’t like this whole “you can’t leave the planet or you’ll get sick and die” thing. Too familiar.

"I may never be able to leave this planet but I have a worse problem: a colleague may be breaking a rule."

Says the man who has frequently violated a directive that has never been referred to as Prime before.

Kirk is getting very mumbly. That’s his serious voice.... bu it’s also his Denny Crane voice lol.

Like bio warfare in the 90s? TOS really thought the 90s was going to be the dark ages, didn’t it?

Only 90s kids remember...

Spock bursting in with a wounded man, just bringing the drama, as he does.

He’s not even listening to McCoy. Rude.

Spock absolutely 100% would have killed Captain Tracey on instinct as soon as Kirk is threatened.

Sulu’s in command? I love Captain Sulu but where is Scotty?

Kirk is so good. Clever, strong, smart. Knows all the regulations.

Tracey’s so dumb. “They’ve eradicated disease and live for hundreds of years!” Man, have you considered that they are...aliens? And their life spans are simply.... naturally longer than human life spans? And even if you could isolate the serum, it might not work on humans?

And his master plan is to isolate their immunity and bottle it for profit. It’s our old enemy... capitalism and the exploitation of intellectual property.

A fight scene!

“The pointy-eared one stays.”

Another fight scene!

Spock is watching all of this, and you know what, I feel like he’s not upset about it. It’s just like Pre-Reform Vulcan. Perhaps some... Amok Time flashbacks? “Damn, I wish that was me.”

Peanut gallery Spock.

“I wish you could teach me that.” / “I have tried.” Omg where is my scene of Spock trying to teach Kirk the nerve pinch?

And then that look Kirk gives him.

I don’t get the point of this scene but it amuses me that as soon as McCoy sees the pretty girl, he feels better.

A post-apocalyptic alien world... a very interesting concept. Like you could do a lot with that idea imo.

“That’s our worship word [freedom too.” Umm.... questionable.

Damn bitch, that was cold. Just knocking him out like that.

Damn yankee.

...Yankee and Communist dammit.

McCoy’s not even surprised to see Kirk and Spock out of jail.

Nature created a natural counterbalance to the biological disease. Where is OUR natural counterbalance, I ask?

McCoy sounds extra Southern rn. It’s all the stress.

I really don’t think Shatner gets enough credit for his subtlety. His face when McCoy explains the whole situation...

Oh he's mad now. "You've hurt Spock for nothing! Oh yeah and also killed thousands but MOSTLY THE SPOCK THING!”

Whereas Tracey really doesn’t seem to care about anything but war for its own sake. He knows now that his master plan for immortality was nothing the whole time...but he still needs to call those Yangs.

In other words, another once-reputable figure of authority now gone mad.

Kirk’s voice is so casual when he’s talking to Uhura and Sulu, you feel like he’s gotta have something up his sleeve. He can never hide when he’s really upset about something.

...Apparently what he had up his sleeve was his crew knowing regulations and then another full body tackle. Fight scene 3!

"My need for attention is vital.” Same, Spock.

This is a very attenuated and unbelievable connection Kirk is making but he’s Kirk so I’ll assume it makes sense that he’s putting it all together so fast.

Alternate Universe: Vietnam canon-divergence lol.

For anyone keeping track, this is right about the point where the episode goes off the rails.

YOU’RE A ROMANTIC, JIM. Well he’s right about that at least and he should say it.

Oh no, an American flag.

Cloud William, chief and the son of chiefs. That’s continuity of government for you.

(Also pretty hilarious that this society is supposedly So American with our exact flag and Constitution and everything... but they’re not a democracy.)

I really don’t want to believe that “under God” is still in the pledge 200 years from now.

"You're confusing the stars with heaven." Kirk thinks he's being called an angel.

The absolute mishmash of meaningless, referent-free words here. America. Native Americans. Communists. The flag, the Constitution. God. Angels. Devils. What???

Like how can they both be flag worshippers AND...believers in God? Who is their God? Alien George Washington?

So rude to call Spock Kirk’s “servant.” That’s his space husband!

Is that a literal picture of Spock as a demon in their.. Bible?

I can’t even follow this anymore.

“You command him.” I mean...yes, that’s how the military works.

“He has no heart.” Wow, rude.

“His heart is different!” I stan one (1) Southern Doctor.

I feel like Spock is just... not having this at all. His face loos like he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

Oh no is that the CONSTITUTION??!

“Kill his servant” wow Tracey is obsessed with Spock, isn’t he? I guess everyone in the Fleet knows about them and their special relationship.

Spock is even amused by the knife at his throat. His eyes say "I am distressed--but fascinated!"

A FOURTH fight scene? And here I thought Kirk was going to recite the Constitution.

“I’m open to suggestions.” He’s just as worried about Kirk as McCoy is, bu the doesn’t show it.

...Yep, he’s being telepathic again. Not really in line with his usual telepathy but okay. Alien magic is flexible.

Okay I have a JD and I can confidently say there is nothing about good defeating evil in the Constitution.

And now this alien guy is immediately ready to make himself a “slave.” That seems problematic. What happened to the holy word “Freedom”?

Wow, Kirk's in a bad mood. "You can't pronounce your own holy words worth shit."

“This is only for the eyes of a Chief,” he says and Kirk just pushes him away.

Spock literally turns Tracey around for Kirk’s big final speech like “Listen up, bitch, my boyfriend’s talking.”

Is this the 4th of July episode?? Feels like there should be canons and fireworks going off behind him rn.

Idk, the words of the Constitution can't be so unique and unprecedented if a WHOLE OTHER ALIEN CIVILIZATION just came up with them, too, on their own, like monkeys typing Hamlet. (Given the timelines here... they probably did it first too lol.)

"Liberty and freedom need to be more than just words." Like what does that even mean in this context? Sounds nice but it’s very hard to put into the context of all the rest of this.

“And uh be nice to the Kohms,” after most of them (?) were probably just killed.

I really was into this until the last 10-15 minutes and I think there were under-explored concepts that could have taken the fever dream of whatever that bizarre-o fever dream at the end was. The abandoned ship. The leftovers of bio warfare. The whole weird and under-explained concept of immunity. The tragedy that so much was destroyed,, including but not limited to the whole Exeter crew, for no reason. What happened to Tracey to so destroy him--was it just greed? What about the “Prime” Directive? Is it important or not. They just leave at the end after (as Spock pointed out) doing quite a bit of their own meddling, even though meddling is allegedly the worst. Also, we know almost nothing about the Kohms at all. The “American” society clearly wasn’t democratic. Were the Kohms literally Communist?

I’m willing to accept a certain degree of alternate Earth scenarios--like Miri (though imo that was not a necessary component of that story) or Bread and Circuses, but this was too much. TOO unbelievable. And frankly unnecessary. You could do an allegory for alternate-Vietnam, and it would be just as clear but even more effective. There wouldn’t be any distraction in the form of “what the fuck is that flag doing here?”

There is a potentially incendiary concept here, which is the same one I thought of reading about actual COG plans--certain aspects of the Yanks’ culture survives, but with absolutely no meaning attached. They have a Constitution but they mispronounce all the words. They have this tattered flag but it has no other meaning. They’ve turned the symbols of the government into a religion, but they don’t practice any of the civil aspects of it--they have chiefs, not democratically appointed leaders, for example. Like, COG asks “what IS the country, and how do you make sure the country endures no matter what?” This was an opportunity to show the worst of that: the country continues to exist as symbology only--incredibly strong symbology, but only that--and all of the actual values that were supposed to be stored with that symbology have disappeared. Similarly, their hatred of their enemies endures. It’s lauded in the ep as their attempt to get “their land” back but what if it’s just war for its own sake, as Tracey seems to be engaging in? To tell that story, especially in the 60s, against the backdrop of Vietnam, and with the references to bio warfare and nuclear warfare, could be powerful. And I know TOS can work in metaphor and comparison. It doesn’t need to bring out a literal fucking flag.

Honestly, it was like they had one good, classic, sci fi story but it didn't fill 52 minutes so they tacked on the American Pride 4th of July Propaganda Extravaganza at the end.

It really felt like the lesson was “America good” lol.

I liked the concept of the post apocalyptic society in the aftermath of bio warfare as a cautionary tale for 1960s America, and I'd be up for crazed snake oil salesman Starfleet Captain (or...whatever his rank was) if it were a bit better explained. But the rest of it....

It also... could have been kinda incendiary with the idea that the Constitution and flag are religious symbols... I mean some people do treat them that way and I've always found that, first, blasphemous, and second, bizarre in such a hyper-Christian country. But I feel like instead of digging ito that, they just tempered it with "But also they're Christian, as you can tell by their drawing of devil!Spock, for some reason."

Idk, this story could have been complete with out the whole weird “Vietnam AU” back story or alternately it could have been a biting commentary about what defines America, and about whether or not our symbols might be more enduring--or even more important to people today??--than the laudable but more complex and difficult ideals that underpin the country’s founding. Are the words of the Constitution just gobbledy gook? They are if you don’t live by them, and America has always struggled to do that. It definitely would struggle even more in the aftermath of an apocalypse.

...I’m more annoyed now, thinking about the possible sci fi story that could have been...

Anyway next is an ep I’m fairly sure I haven’t  seen, so that should be fun.

[pikemoreno]

The Jerk Jar

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (also kind of just Avengers x Reader)

Warnings: lots of snark and teasing??

Word Count: 1569

A/N: There is not a true sense of MCU canon here. Like when does this take place? When is everyone canonically working together? IDK!!! Sue me. It’s fanfiction. Also, I love this.

Part 2 here

You swept the legs of the brute and quickly put out your hand, the gun in his back pocket flying into it.

“What the—” was all he could get out before you knocked him out with the butt of the gun and stowed it.

“What? You’ve never heard of Kleptomancy? Extremely underrated power, in my opinion.”

“Alright, Thief. Stop monologuing and find the drive,” you heard Tony command over your earpiece. You rolled your eyes. Your shoes clicked against the cold tile as you ran down the hall, concentrating on the object in question and hoping to get it in range. Suddenly it bursted out through one of the doors, crunching and twisting the metal.

“Got the drive.”

“There’s a group of agents headed your way to get it back. Spidey, go help your darling Kleptomaniac,” Nat called in your ear. The snark never stopped around here. With you and Peter being the youngest members, you seemed to be the butt of all of the jokes, and you two being a couple certainly didn’t help the matter.

“On it,” Peter’s voice came over the comm and it was hardly a minute later that he came running down the hallway.

“Here, give it to me,” he called as the agents funneled towards you. You handed over the drive and he tossed it into the air, sticking it to the ceiling with a web. “Might want that out of the way.”

“Good thinking babe.”

“Gross. I’m turning off my comm. I can’t listen to these two flirt. If I die, it’s just gonna have to happen,” the heckling came from Sam this time.

“What can they say Sam? She stole his heart.” Hearing Cap throw out the terrible pun was unfortunately unsurprising. You groaned.

“I’ll turn off mine if I hear one more comment from any of you today,” you shot back.  You and Peter both kept quiet for the ensuing fight with the agents so as to not bring on anymore unnecessary comments from the peanut gallery. It was a relatively easy take down of the hoard and, as you took down the last one, the last straw was heard from your earpiece.

“Haven’t heard anything from you two in a while. You guys are still fighting right? Haven’t abandoned the mission to—”

“That’s it,” you uttered, shutting down your earpiece. You knew it was all in good fun, but you didn’t want to hear another word of it during the mission. You summoned the drive from the ceiling and the two of you made your way back out to the Quinjet. As it took off Nat, Steve, Tony, and Sam all looked to you.

“So you turned off your earpiece,” Tony started.

“Mhmm.”

“We’re sorry if we upset you guys,” Peter had just walked up. “We didn’t mean any offense,” Steve continued.

“I’m not mad. I just didn’t want it in my ear while I was working. No harm done.”

“Good, good. Because we would stop if you wanted us to.”

“Oh please. You guys couldn’t hold back if you tried,” you laughed.

“Of course we could. We can quit anytime we want,” Sam rebutted.

“You couldn’t even stop teasing us for a week.”

“Oh, I would take that bet,” Sam replied, the others showing their agreement. You smiled, letting the conversation end. This would be fun.

The next afternoon you walked up to the group that was lounging around the kitchen and sat a glass jar on the counter.

“What’s that?” Wanda asked.

“I’m glad you asked. Those four,” you gestured over to where Sam, Nat, Tony, and Steve were, “prompted me to make a little bet. And so I present…” You turned the jar around so they could see the piece of paper you taped to the front.

“The Jerk Jar?” the exclaimed almost in perfect unison.

“Precisely. This week, any insult, joke, embarrassing or snarky comment at mine or Peter’s expense is going to cost you a dollar,” you gave the jar a tap, grinning devilishly. Wanda concealed her smirk by taking a sip of her drink.

“That’s ridiculous,” Tony commented with a wave of his hand. You smiled.

“Hey, I didn’t make the bet. In fact, I’m a little hurt that you think my idea is ridiculous, you know. But, since it’s the first one I’m gonna go easy on you. That’ll only cost you fifty cents.” You held out your hand and two shiny quarters flew down the steps and right into your palm. You smugly dropped them into the jar. “Ah, would you listen to that beautiful clink.” You grinned, leaving the jar on the counter and walking back to your quarters.

You let the first day pass with no extra help, only adding a dollar to the jar when Nat made a comment in passing, completely forgetting the bet. She glared at you but couldn’t suppress a laugh in the end and put the dollar in the jar without a fuss. You and Peter quickly decided that you were by no means going to make this easy on them, with Sam and Tony being your main targets. Steve found the whole thing very funny, not finding it particularly difficult to avoid the teasing for a week; and his jokes were few and far between anyway. Nat was very much the same, adding only that single dollar to the jar the whole week. You knew from the beginning that the other two would have trouble with it, but they were also much too proud to lose their money to the bet, leading them to take it a little too seriously. They were the perfect target. Peter started on Tony with simple attempts.

“Hey, Mr. Stark, could you make Karen speak in Darth Vader’s voice? That’d be cool.”

“Hey, Mr. Stark, why are you Iron Man if your suit is titanium?”

“Hey, Mr. Stark, I’m going to Ned’s to have a Lego build-a-thon, I’ll be back later.”

It was to no avail. No matter how embarrassing the comment, Tony would not say a word. That was alright, you saved the big one for the both of them. You got Wanda in on it as well, making sure they would be in the right place at the right time.

“Tony’s headed this way,” Wanda whispered, running into the entertainment room where you and Peter were sitting and then sliding out the door on the other side. You grinned at each other and assumed your position, him on top of you and you started kissing him quickly, turning the moment into a full on makeout session. This wasn’t “made up” as the rest of the attempts had been, of course. Surely they knew this was something that happened behind closed doors. But them walking in on it? You didn’t think they could possibly resist all of the comments open to them. Tony walked into the room and looked up from the tablet in his hand.

“Well I see— Nope, nope,” Tony started. Sam walked in a moment later.

“Hello there lovebirds. Taking the term loveseat a little too seriously.” You both sat up, smirking and Peter grabbed the jar from behind the couch.

“Pay up,” Peter laughed beside you. Tony sighed and shook his head and the realization of what just happened suddenly hit Sam.

“Wait! No, no, no. There was nothing insulting there. That was just a factual comment.”

“I believe it falls under the category of embarrassing. Wouldn’t you agree (Y/N)?” Peter said in mock consideration.

“Why, yes. I think it does. I personally am quite embarrassed.” You held out your hand and a dollar soon met it, gliding right out of Sam’s pocket. “Thank you for your contribution.”

“You know what, screw it.” Tony said walking away and then coming back with his wallet. He pulled out a five-dollar bill. “Alright. First off, gonna go with the classic ‘get a room’, there’s literally about twenty of them to choose from. Second, am I gonna have to go get the Captain America sex education tape from your high school? Because I will. In fact, I’ll get Cap to reenact it if I can’t get it. Third, how do the kids say it?” He made his voice high-pitched. “Ohmygosh, Spider-Thief is the OTP! Next, the reason I went with Iron Man is the same reason you didn’t go with ‘Arachnida Boy’. Try singing your little theme song with that title. It just doesn’t ring, no one cares if it’s accurate. Along with that, I just realized you may not know about spider classification because you’re like twelve. Just kidding on that one Peter, you’re smarter than I am, I just needed to use my five dollars up.” He dropped the five-dollar bill into the jar and sighed. “That felt good.”

“You know what, I think I’ll get in on that too. There’s some things I’ve been dying to say all week.” Sam pulled out a fiver as well and went on with his list. Tony ended up deciding to chip in another five after being inspired by Sam’s comments. All that you and Peter could do is look at each other and laugh. Later, you both happily took all the cash down to the local anti-bullying organization; and, upon hearing about the plan, Tony, looking rather proud of both of you, threw in another hundred.

“I’m stockpiling them for future use,” he said.

@petxrparks @pbnjparker

[choisgirls]

In the Right Direction { VxMC - Soulmate!AU}

Words: 3,620 (so its a long post and I won’t put it under a “keep reading” because that messes up on mobile for some reason?)

So here’s the first part of that Soulmate!AU I talked about a very;;; long time ago ^^;; But here it is;; idk if its good but here you are;;;  ~Admin 404

JUMIN

                His compass practically screamed that this cute, blonde girl in his gallery wasn't the person he thought she was. He elected to ignore this stupid hunk of junk because he believed he had found his sun. Though Jumin has told him numerous times to listen to his head every once in a while instead of his heart, he just couldn't dismiss these strong feelings.

               When he found her and their relationship to be... less than ideal, he should have listened to his head. Could he just up and leave this women he spent so much time, passion, and love on? He could live with growing old with someone besides his designated soulmate, as long as he was with someone he loved. But now she's gone, and he has nothing left to look forward to.

               The people close to him knew how much he wanted to find the love of his life-- how much he just wanted to love and be loved back. They've always told him to just follow his compass, don't look up until the needle starts to spin like crazy. You would think that's what he would be doing from the beginning, but he wanted to give everyone a chance.

               Most people in this world look only for their soulmate-- using the compass given to them at birth to search the world with a fine-toothed comb, eyes constantly glued to the small circular object-- missing out on amazing connections, marvelous adventures-- they're missing out on what could have been an extravagant love! He wanted to change all of that; he wanted to prove that you can live happily with someone you love, despite the fact that someone is out in the world, completely perfect for you. Love can be found in imperfections.

               His history with Rika didn't change this outlook on this ideal, not even in the slightest. If anything, it solidified his thoughts! He truly loved her, but now he's able to see that he just wasn't the one for her and vice versa. Though, after the ordeal, he was left wondering just how love would feel with his soulmate. Someone he was literally made for... the love had to be something other-worldly, right?

               Jumin was the one to finally push him into searching for you. Jihyun was already traveling for his photography, it wouldn't be too hard to search for you as well. It took quite a bit of pushing to get him to agree, however.

               "V, listen to me. You're already going abroad to take photos for your next gallery. You can search for your soulmate along the way," he  explained, taking a sip from his glass of wine.

               "But what if Rika was already the one? What if my compass is just broken? What if it never worked in the first place? What if-" he was cut off by Jumin scoffing.

               "Why don't you just try it, V. It really won't hurt you. You might find your other half, the perfect one for you, the peanut butter to your jelly, your-"

               "Who are you and what have you done to Jumin Han?" his laughter following the question soft and light, "I thought you didn't believe in love of any sort?"

               His friend shrugged before taking another sip of his wine, "I don't exactly, but I do believe in your happiness. I think you should try and find what I know will make you the happiest."

               That was it- that was all he needed to now be sat on a plane, looking out of the window at the clouds surrounding the aircraft. 'I won't look at my compass until I'm settled in on the ground. I won't make this a big thing,' he thought to himself, 'it'll be alright. If I find them, great, if I don't, that's alright too.' All the excitement he had for this photography trip was slowly deteriorating because he couldn't help but think about the navigation device. What if he really did find the one on this trip? What would he even do; what would he even say? He couldn't help but be worried about just who you were, how the two of you would intermingle- but his biggest worry was what if you didn't believe in soulmates? What if you were like him, and believed in natural love, but only natural love?

               Those intrusive thoughts were the only things he could think of. It finally got to the point where he put his camera down and only followed his compass. He followed it across multiple cities, countries even! The only time he was ripped away from his compass was when he kept receiving call after call from Saeyoung.

               "Is everything alright? You've called me a lot in the past-"

               "There's someone new in the chatroom," came Luciel's anxious voice, out of breath and dripping with concern.

               "What do you mean? That's impossible, isn't it? I thought you had everything secure and-"

               "I did! I did and that's the problem! How did they get into the chat? How did they get past all of my security, how did they-"

               "Luciel," Jihyun started, speaking low and slow to help his friend calm down, "Take a moment to catch your breath. Obviously, finding out how this person joined our closed group is the big question here, but you have to think about another fairly important question."

               "And what is that exactly?" He asked, audibly a little calmer thanks to Jihyun.

               "Just who this person is. Running a background check is fairly important.  We don't know who they are, or if they're trying to harm us. I'm counting on you to figure this out, Luciel," he couldn't bring himself to talk anymore, so he hung up the phone. He felt as thoughts rushed through his mind- who could it be? How did they get into their private messenger? Are they there to hurt him or his friends? Was it... no, it couldn't be. His phone lit up less than a moment later, baring Luciel's name again.

               "Did you find anything?" he asked, not so much as a hello.

               "It's a girl," he replied- he seemed 10 times more calm than he did in his last phone call.

               "A girl? Really? I need all of the details, no matter how small you think they are," he started to head back where he was staying during his trip, the photos and compass both thrown to the back of his mind. 'Finding love can wait,' he thought, 'my friend's securities are much more important.'

               Later that day, he finally got a chance to log into the chat room, hoping to talk to this new stranger. It was a simple conversation, but he felt this weird feeling in the bottom of his stomach. Was this feeling fear? Maybe it was panic? He just knew it was brand-new and unexplainable. Brushing it off as the general anxiety that comes with a situation such as this one, he decided the best course of action would be to work with her. Denying her access could make things 10 times worse. He didn't want to believe that this could have been connected to Rika and her organization, but he couldn't rule it out, either.  He headed home the moment he could, his photos could wait, his compass was thrown into his jacket pocket and forgotten about.

               The first few nights, he found himself logging into the chatroom once everyone had gotten off, reading each and every message. All of them wanted him to set a date for the new party, but he wasn't sure he wanted to. He had a bad feeling that his previous love was behind it all, but reading how nice and caring you are to all of his friends... he didn't think you were truly involved. You were some sort of pawn and he hated that you were a pawn in this mysterious game.

               But, looking through all of the messages, he always found himself smiling when he saw your name popping up and he didn't bother to stop himself. You were so warm and inviting, you seemed interested in everyone's well beings, and you had nothing to gain from caring about them all yet you continued to. You were... different than Rika. You were everything Rika pretended to be.

               As days passed, everyone seemed openly surprised the fact that Jihyun had come to the chatroom more often than he has in the past few years, but he couldn't explain to them why. Although it hurt to stare at the phone for too long, he suffered through it just to talk to you. When he couldn't see anymore for the day, he would call you. Talking until the early hours of the day were a common thing between the two of you already. Hearing you fall asleep on the phone made his heart skip a beat, and he didn't think he could feel that again- let alone so soon.

               You talked about anything and everything. Places you'd love to travel, stories behind some of the pictures he's taken, he's even talked to you about his concerns for his friends and a hypothetical situation about his ex.  He felt like he could talk to you about anything in the world, but it had only been a few short days. Sure, he was open with his love and cared about everyone but there was just something a little bit different with you.

               "MC, may I ask you something?" he whispered into his phone, laying in his bed with an arm thrown over his currently burning eyes, his phone to his ear.

               "You know you can ask me anything, V," you answered just as quietly, though to him it sounded as if you were always singing. Your voice was just so heavenly to his ears and his heart.

               "It's about love. What do you believe in?" he paused, taking in a shaky breath that he hoped you couldn't hear. "Do you believe in natural love? Or do you believe in the fact that everyone has someone in the world made specifically for them?" he asked cautiously, scared to hear a certain answer. When you took what felt like a million years to answer in that sweet, soft voice of yours.

               "I believe in love. Whether its love that forms between two people who truly have a connection, or if it's the kind of love between two halves of one soul. Either of them are absolutely beautiful," you answered, hearing him let out a soft sigh. He couldn't help but smile at your answer. Why did he even bother to ask? Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew you would view it in the same light as himself.

               "Have you been in love, MC?" he asked before he could even realize the thought passed his mind. You gave a soft sound of disagreement, and his previously large smile simmered down to a softer, warmer one. "One day," his words ghosted, "I hope that love is directed towards me."

               His hand flew to his mouth and his eyes shot open, realizing the words that just came from his mouth. "I-I um," he stammered, his face turning a crimson colour, "F-forget I said anything. It's... it's late, I should have let you gone to bed a while ago, I apologize. I'll um, I'll speak to you tomorrow. Good night."

               He rushed to end the call, his hands shaking the whole time as he strained his eyes to see the end button on his phone.  He was in such disbelief that he let that slip off of his tongue. There was some sort of feelings for you in his heart but he didn't know if it was love per say. It was different than what he felt for Rika, but he knew he wanted to pursue it, just... not so suddenly. He spent hours just thinking, burying his face into his pillow and contemplating all of his feelings. He was afraid he made things uncomfortable between the both of you and he was worried. However, now the need to protect you was solidified in his mind- he couldn't let anyone get to you, not even Rika.

               Over the course of the next two days, he still visited the chatroom to see you, but not for as long as he previously would. He noticed that you treated him just the same as before, but he couldn't shake his awkward feeling. He decided to just talk through it with you at the party, that way he has a day or so to prepare exactly what he wanted to say. Too bad Jihyun's plans never work out the way he wants them to.

               He picked up his phone, greeting a frantic Luciel. Before he could mutter a 'What's wrong',  Luciel is talking a mile a minute and Jihyun just couldn't keep up.

               "V. It's the security system for the apartment," the younger man started. Jihyun moved to sit on the edge of his seat, his eyebrows furrowing together. "The... special security system," he finished. His eyes practically popping out of his head, Jihyun stood up, already trying to feel his way to his front door.

               "What about the system? What's wrong with it? What about MC? Luciel, please tell me that MC is alright," he panicked, feeling around for his jacket. He didn't want to hear what was coming next but he knew he had to, for MC's safety.

               "It's... it's been compromised, someone hacked into it. Probably the same person who led MC there in the first place. It's been armed and disarmed, over and over again. I've been trying to take back control of it, but there's always the possibility that they could-" Jihyun cut off the red head with a loud curse. Luciel knew just how upset his friend was now due to the fact he next to never used such strong language.

               "I'm going. I'm getting MC out of there," he stated, leaving the house and frantically trying to make his way to the apartment. He was tired of hearing Luciel try to tell him to just stay put, it was too dangerous, especially for him and the state of his eyes but he didn't care. All he cared about was getting you out of that apartment and getting you safe, away from it all, where he can physically hold and protect you. He never even got to see you in person, there was no way he was going to let the world take you from him so soon. There were so many things he wanted to know, needed to know about you before he would ever be satisfied in life.

               Breathing heavier than he ever had in his life, legs shaking like Jell-O, and his eyesight worse due to the mixture of terrified tears and the wind piercing his eyes, he arrived at the apartment, knowing he had to calm himself down before MC opened that door. Leaning a hand against the doorway to make sure he didn't fall over, he brought his other hand to knock on the door. Before he did, he could hear your panicked voice muffled behind the door.

               "Seven, what do you mean? What are you talking about? A BOMB? There's a BOMB in this apartment? Why would you- Who would-," he could only imagine you would shake your head in disbelief at this point, "Nevermind. You know what I don't want to know why there's a FREAKING BOMB. So what... what do I do? Do I... do I leave? Do you think it'll go off?"

               Jihyun's fist hovered in front of the door, afraid to knock and only make the situation worse. Maybe Luciel was right? Maybe he shouldn't have come, the younger man was surely capable of taking care of it himself. His self-doubting thoughts were washed away when he strained to hear your quiet voice whimper behind the door.

               "I just wish V were here. He'd know what to do. I'd definitely feel better..." hearing you wish for him brought the warmest smile to his face. His heart started to beat so fast it stuttered and his whole abdomen was full of millions of butterflies. Before he could change his mind or run away, he rasped his knuckles against the door, ready to finally see you with his own two eyes... He hoped he would be able to see clearly when the door flew open. He could hear Luciel yelling through the phone not to open the door, in case it was the hacker, he saw a figure wielding what looked like a lamp over their head, ready to protect themselves.

               "MC, wait! It's me," he begged, stepping back slightly to avoid the lamp colliding with his head if you were to swing. He watched the lamp get lowered as you raised your face to look him in the eyes. He believed in heaven, he believed in angels, and he believed in miracles- you were all three to him in that exact moment.

               His fuzzy eyesight didn't clear completely, but when he looked at you, it seemed like you were in high definition. The world was blurry but you were the clarity in his life he had been looking for- apparently you were the clarity his eyes needed as well. He quickly glanced at his surroundings, noticing nothing was clear to him but you. You seemed to have this heavenly glow surrounding you as well- was this what an aura was? Or was that the indication of your wings, because he sincerely believed you had wings. He felt like he had finally found the last true mouthpiece of heaven,  these few seconds feeling like the rest of his life, and he was content with that. Your growing smile was like the light of God, shining brightly and piercing him straight to his heart and soul.

               He watched as you ran towards him, his arms instinctively opening to hold you close. The moment your bodies made contact, electricity shot through him, and his chest felt... full. He knew his heart was pounding loud enough for his newfound love to hear, but he didn't care. He wanted them to know just how fondly he thought of them, how much they had an impact on his heart.

               "MC, it's alright, I'm here for you," he whispered against the top of your head, burying his smile in your hair before continuing in a soft voice, "I came to protect you." keeping your arms wrapped around him, you pulled you head away from his chest to look up at him, locking eyes and offering him a small smile.

               "You ran all the way here, for me?" your smile dropped, a concerned look replacing it, "but you could have been really hurt! V, that's-" he cut you off by placing a finger to your lips, smiling at the small blush that rose on your cheeks.

               "Jihyun. Please, I want to hear that heavenly smooth voice say my actual name," he proposed, gently laughing at just how much your blush had grown. He wouldn't bother hiding his feelings anymore, he had already exposed himself days before.  You hid your face back against his chest, running from your embarrassment as the two of you just stood holding each other in the hallway for several minutes. Luciel kept taking screenshots from the security cameras and sent them to the group chat, frantically fangirling.

               Your eyebrows furrowed together as you removed your head from his chest again, earning a head tilt from him in return. Patting his jacket pocket, your own head tilted to the side.

               "V- I mean, Jihyun, what's this in your pocket? It's... slightly vibrating," you asked, watching as he stuck his hand in there to find out himself. He didn't remember his phone being in that pocket...

               The both of you shared a gasp as you looked at the small compass laying in his palm, the needle spinning in frantic circles the closer your own hand got to the device. The moment your fingers grazed the metal cylinder, it dissipated into thin air, both you and Jihyun watching it leave his hand. He looked up at you with his eyes wide, his mouth slightly hanging open in disbelief. You looked into his eyes before smiling, reaching into your pocket to pull out your own, holding it out to him with your eyes full of love. You were completely ready to combine the two halves of your souls, right then and there and he was so overwhelmed with emotions that tears started to stream down his face, only to break when they hit his smile. He slowly extended his hand to lay it over the compass, feeling it dissipate and he gently held onto your hand, leaning forward to place a kiss between your eyes.

               "I wouldn't have expected this, MC. I always believed in natural love, finding my true soulmate always came second," he started, looking at your hands, beginning to interlace his fingers with your own, "But now that I've gotten a taste of what it's like to find the one just for me, I understand why people look for their other half. You are my heaven. You are my clarity in this world," he looked into your eyes hoping to convey just how much he already loved you with the emotions in his own before he brought his face closer, looking between your eyes and you lips, only fully leaning in to place a loving kiss to your lips once he saw you lean into him.

               "You, MC, are the only thing I'm going to see for the rest of my life, and I've never been happier to have finally followed the right direction."

Masterlist

[dark-unimaginably-stupid-kids]

No Kisses Allowed

Dusk Drabble

(If you’re following this account for Voltron, these are the original idiots you will most likely meet as side characters in the fic- I Feel Everything, JSYK.)

Not very reader friendly because this was basically a lazy self indulgent free-write to get some mostly fluffy Collin and Angel written because I miss them /not/ being the outlet for my misery. (I mean, Angel’s got plenty to sulk about but I definitely made shit waaaaay worse)

Also slightly fed by two posts on here- the one about “If they have to kiss to prove they love each other you’re not writing romance right” (But Idk. what is romance.) And the disappointment that is our not getting a gay Dumbledore as was PROMISED. Fuck this bro, if Dusk is ever published my babies are going to be as blatant about their love interests as they are right in this little fic.

And as usual I might continue this because I have no impulse control and just a ridiculous desire to write loads of crap lately.

MostlypostingthisforLisasoIdon’thavetocopypasteitintoskype,whoamIkiddinglmao.

The gang is eating shit above the cafe as usual, Collin and Angel are being weird and affectionate and trying not to make a big deal out of it. The others would too if they’d stop being weird.

They were loitering in Kale’s apartment tonight. Lucy and Amoretta had decided to try baking under Kale’s slightly critical supervision while Vincent had invited the guys up to show them his newest sims game.

Luneth had somehow gotten stuck with the controller, “This main character is kind of…rude? Why is he so mean to her?”

“Don’t you get it Luneth? The douchebag always gets the girl,” Collin laughed from his spot on the floor next to him.

Luneth rolled his eyes, “You would know, wouldn’t you?”

“You’re right, I would.”

Vincent wrapped an arm around both their shoulders, “Children, behave and play the romance novel game… so I can watch you cry.”

“Watch us cry?” Luneth asked, ever the sensible one. He then got distracted by the irony of the girls baking and quoted the dialogue on screen with a soft chuckle, “I sold my soul for a cupcake…”

Collin, ever the piece of shit, leaned into Vincent, “So when do the creepy poems start?”

Vincent waves him off, “Soon, shh, don’t spoil Luneth.”

“Wait! What creepy poems!?”

Angel rolled his eyes fondly from his position sprawled out on the loveseat. His legs dangled off the armrest and his head was back down against the seat cushion. Sometimes he really wondered why he bothered hanging out with these people.

He glanced at his friends, at Luneth’s growing panic, Vincent’s sly glee, Collin’s shit eating smirk, and breathed out through his nose, shutting is eyes.

Eh. Not today.

Half of Vincent’s glee seemed to flood out of him when he realized something though, “Hold on—Collin! Have you played this before?”

Collin shrugged before scooting back to lean against the loveseat on the side closer to Angel’s head.

“Nah, never played it. A girl back in the home town really wanted to show me a walk through once though. Her selling point was creepy poems.” His voice, may the world help him, made Angel’s insides flutter.

If he rolled over he could lean across the space between them and inhale Collin’s generic shampoo.

Thankfully a crash from the kitchen kept Angel from giving into that sort of thing. Lucy’s declaration of “Sorry!” and Kale’s pained groan nearly drowned out Luneth’s confusion.

“I thought this was supposed to be some cute fluffy romantic stuff. Why would there be creepy poems?”

Amoretta waltzed out of the kitchen covered in cake batter a tired expression on her face, “Alright guys. Luce and I are going home to shower so—”

Vincent moved to the couch so he could lean over it as he beamed at her, “together?”

“Yes together? What—” At the expression on Vincent’s face she groaned, “No, not that together—”

Lucy leaned her head out of the kitchen window, “A darn shame.”

Angel didn’t need to crane his neck to know Lucy and Vincent were probably grinning at each other.

“Lucy, darling, we should get married.”

“Not on your life Vince.”

“Good thing I’m dead.”

“Haa~” Lucy snorted and Amoretta went back into the Kitchen.

“Whatever guys, stop being weird. You’ll have to get your own snacks now.”

Collin leaned his head back against the couch cushion. Angel turned just his head to the side and slowly, carefully, cautiously slid the hand closest to him up the couch and toward the loose black curls now so close he could graze them with his fingertips.

“We live above a café, Ama.” Vincent deadpanned.

Kale’s voice sounded from the kitchen, immediately shooting down Vincent’s plan to raid the café by announcing that he wasn’t wasting anymore stock on them today. Vincent cried out in mock anguish.

“Dude, Natsuki is adorable.” Luneth mumbled absently, mashing A and reading quickly. “But they talk forever.”

Collin didn’t lift his head but he adjusted himself and somehow ended up with his hair covering Angel’s fingers in their inky black. Angel breathed deeply, letting those fingers tangle themselves in the strands just loosely enough that it would take a moment for Collin to catch on.

“Dude you would. But don’t go for her go for the childhood friend. I like that one,” he offered. Angel watched his jaw move as he spoke.

Luneth scoffed, “Of course you do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It felt like Collin was about to lift his head but taking notice of the resistance in his hair he paused and decided to make himself comfortable again. Angel didn’t need to see the smile on his face to know it was there and for his chest to feel tighter.

“It’s cause she’s blond isn’t it? Small cute blond with a history.” Angel could hear him roll his eyes, “Honestly she gives me a bad feeling. She’s too cute. She’s clearly hiding something. Which probably makes her more your type huh? Sound like anyone we know?”

Collin waved him off while Angel attempted to ignore that whole range of conversation, his own blond hair falling into his face.

There was a very sudden very short lasting burst of negative energy from the kitchen and Vincent slid off the couch before setting up camp on the floor next to the coffee table. With the girls having taken their leave Vincent turned his attention back to the game and Luneth attempting to speed through the dialogue. His eyes did land on Angel for a moment, hand comfortably tangled in a very content looking vampire’s hair, but all he offered that image was a skeptic look.

“Oh. Yeah, no. You should totally go for Sayori,” Vincent grinned.

At this confirmation, Collin groaned, pushing his head further back, close enough Angel’s fingers could graze his scalp now. Angel turned onto his side completely then, folding one leg against the cushion and allowing the other to fall off the side by Collin’s arm. If he sat up he’d almost be using the couch for it’s intended purpose.

Instead, he curled around the back of Collin’s head, soft hair barely tickling his nose.

“What’s going to happen to Sayori Vincent?!” Collin had growled, but when Angel finished adjusting Collin seemed to stiffen just the slightest bit before a weight was placed on top of his boot. Angel couldn’t see it, but he was pretty certain Collin had just chosen to place his hand there, some semblance of acknowledging Angel’s closer proximity.

Angel could see Vincent’s face though as he passed Collin the same skeptic look from earlier before once again turning back to the game.

Luneth had noticed nothing yet and was still reading through mountains of dialogue he kept mumbling about taking too long.

Kale made his way out of the kitchen by the time Luneth got to pick the words for the first poem, “These words aren’t even creepy. This can’t be a creepy poem guys.”

Vincent shrugged, “You do you dude.”

“I’m going after Natsuki. She likes cute shit right?” Luneth asked the peanut gallery.

Collin bopped his free hand on the ground, “Go for Sayori!”

“We already know something awful happens to her I’m not going for Sayori.”

“Coward!”

Kale chuckled before climbing over the back of the three seater couch and laying down, his arms crossed over his chest and batter in his hair that he didn’t seem to care about, “Oh, yeah, I can see how Collin would like Sayori.”

“Shit’s gonna happen to her, isn’t it?”

“I thought this was supposed to be a cute happy romance game, Isn’t it?” Luneth shouted, clearly dismayed.

“Of course Lulu, go for Sayori.”

Luneth groaned and wen back to smashing A.

Collin tilted his head up towards Angel, “Wanna bet on whatever awful thing is going to befall her?”

With Collin’s bright green eyes on him like that Angel had to remind himself how to breathe.

“But I’d be cheating…” as he spoke the hand on his shoe traveled up, Collins fingers walking up the skin of his ankle and calf, on display today because he’d chosen to wear cargo shorts that morning.

Collin scoffed lightly but Luneth’s reaction was louder.

Though Angel had barely whispered his response Luneth dropped the controller.

“You know! You know what’s gonna happen!”

Then of course Luneth’s eyes finally landed on the display. His eyebrow quirked up. Collin went frigid and Angel felt the blush creeping into his face.

“W-well Vince isn’t doing a good job of hiding it…” Angel muttered, squeezing himself smaller in an effort to hide from Luneth’s judgmental eyes but this only managed to squeeze him closer around Collin, lips and nose now completely covered by his hair.

“You okay there, Bro?” Luneth’s voice was warning. He was clearly preparing himself to reach over and pull Collin away from him by the throat if need be.

In a slight panic Angel’s eyes darted over to Vincent and Kale who looked like they were trying to will Luneth not to make a big deal out of it. Of course, he didn’t get the memo.

Finally, Angel nodded meekly, “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Collin asked, his hand curled around Angels leg now despite his initial anxiety. Angel’s confirming he was alright with Collin’s attention must have made him braver.

Luneth narrowed his eyes at the vampire but relented.

“You let me know if you’re not, okay?”

“Again, Luneth, I’m totally okay.”

Vincent stood from his sport and walked the long way around the coffee table to the couch to throw himself on top of Kale who squawked indignantly. On the way there he casually nudged Luneth hard in the side and the werewolf did a poor job of hiding it.

Angel sighed again, before throwing caution to the wind and burrowing his face into the top of Collin’s head.

He could feel the other boy chuckle at that, his free hand going up behind both their heads to run his hand through Angel’s hair soothingly.

Angel moved the hand he wasn’t laying on to play with the surprisingly short hairs at the base of Collin’s neck, occasionally scratching at his skin sending sporadic little shudders through him.

Kale managed to dig himself out from under Vincent just enough to point broadly for the screen, “Luneth! The dokis await! Come on guys you’ve barely started.”

Luneth turned his attention away from his roommate and the boy who caused them both stress and looked at the screen. “But what if I don’t want to go for Sayori? What if I wanted to go for…I dunno, Monika?”

“Monika isn’t an option Luneth.”

“Well technically…” Angel started against Collin’s head.

Vincent quickly reached for his shoe and threw it at Angel’s couch. It was close enough to alarm the boy but nowhere near close enough to actually hit him.

Collin still hissed, “Yo! Watch it!”

Vincent ignored him, “Spoilers Blondie! Shut your face!”

Angel rolled his eyes but nodded, his nose brushing against Collin, “Yeah, yeah, sorry.”

He breathed, bypassing the shampoo and just getting a waft of Collin. And the idea of that made him dizzy. He shook his head and abruptly realized it looked like a nuzzle to everyone in the room. It certainly felt like one to Collin who made a very small noise that made Luneth’s ear quirk.

But no one said anything.

And yet it had officially gone too far for him.

He reluctantly pulled away from Collin, the vampire dropping the hand that had been trying in vain to sooth the other boys hair, and dropped his other leg so he was finally sitting correctly.

“Well, this has been fun all. But I think I’m gonna head home, head to bed, not watch Luneth cry.” He stretched and casually pulled his leg free from Collin as well. He had to force himself not to look at the boy’s face otherwise he’d probably lay back down.

“Kay, see ya’ Angel.” Kale said casually, trying to ease the tension.

Vincent made himself comfortable on top of Kale, “Your loss kid.” The way he said it, his eyes darting between Angel and Collin and his own pleasant position implied…

In more ways than one.

Luneth watched him curiously but only shrugged, “see you at home then.”

“Yeah, see you guys later.” He finished, getting up and patting his roommate on the head before letting himself out.

Then he was gone, the door shut behind him.

Luneth put the controller down and turned at the waist so he was facing Collin. Vincent propped himself up on an arm while Kale only had to stare passed him for the two of them to be doing the same.

It was quiet for a long moment before Collin groaned and threw himself face first into the ground.

Vincent rolled his eyes and Kale sighed, Luneth reached over and shoved him.

“Really?”

“Seriously?”

“Collin!”

“I know! Okay! I know!” Collin grumbled from the carpet.

“Why do you two have to be so weird about it? Why can’t you just. I don’t know, be like them?!” Luneth hissed, motioning towards Kale and Vincent. To emphasize this point Vincent leaned his cheek against Kale’s while the two continued to stare at Collin.

Collin raised his head, “Dude I don’t know, ask him! He’s the one who just— UGH. would it be weird if I ran down stairs and walked him home just—“

Luneth looked like he was gonna have an aneurysm, “GO!”

The vampire didn’t need to be told twice but thankfully thought better of running and simply teleported to the front door of the cafe in time for Angel to open said door and almost walk into him.

“Oh! Uhm, did I leave something upstairs?” Angel asked, fighting the flush on his cheeks with every fiber of his being.

Collin didn’t do as well of a job, “Ah- no, I just. Uhm. Wanted to walk you home?”

Angel blinked at him, “…why?”

Collin croaked. Angel raised a brow. Why did this boy always make everything so unbelievably difficult? They were standing a few feet away from the spot of their first and last kiss, the night they’d decided to at least try being friends. Angel knew exactly why, why did he have to be such a dick about it?!

“I just want to walk you home. I thought we established I like spending time with you?”

Angel lost to the flush that stained his face and quickly shut his eyes before turning his head away from Collin and walking forward. Of course, Mr. Evasive.

“O-kay then. Whatever I guess, walk me home.”

Collin breathed heavy through his nose before setting off after him. Perhaps he walked a little too close and when their hands moved maybe he put a little effort in to make sure they brushed, watching the flush on Angel’s face deepen.

They didn’t talk much, but exchanged a couple glances and quickly shaking heads as if they each knew what the other was thinking and were trying not to.

By the time they made it to the apartment building Angel was so focused on not thinking he almost tripped on his own feet.

Collin thought he was adorable.

He caught him by the wrist and called him clumsy to which Angel scoffed. Then, with more bravery than he had, Collin slipped his hand down Angel’s wrist to intertwine their fingers. Angel went stiff.

“Just trying to make sure you don’t eat it, you know.” Collin offered with a smile he hoped was endearing enough to let him get away with it.

Angel took three quick shallow breaths before shaking his head for the umpteenth time and forcing himself to relax. He returned Collin’s grip on his hand.

“Right.”

They started upstairs.

“Yeah.”

“I mean I wouldn’t have tripped if you—”

“If I?”

“….Never mind.”

Collin chuckled and leaned against the other boy’s arm, turning his head into Angel’s hair. He said his next words without thinking, “You smell nice.”

Angel’s flush disappeared and a flash of anger replaced it. Collin immediately had to back track.

“I mean! Good like pleasant, like I could wake up every morning to this smell— not like breakfast or anything to eat just I mean something comfortable and nice and LORD why do you do this to me..!” Collin, still refusing to relinquish Angel’s hand despite what the other boys wrath could have been like, raised his other hand to his face and groaned into it.

Then Angel laughed.

And just like that Collin melted.

“You’re literally going to be the death of me, you know that?” Collin offered, a light laugh of his own on his lips now.

Angel shrugged, his grasp on Collin’s hand tightened, “seems only fair.”

“Oh?”

“You give me life, you do, but you kill me too.” He stated flatly as they reached the landing for the third floor.

Collin had to remind himself to breathe, “did you really just say that?”

“Say what?”

“Angel, please.”

Now he’d gone and done it. He’d used his name. Angel’s eyes darkened, he pulled his hand out of Collin’s grasp and wandered down the hall. Collin wanted to yank his hair out. If Angel would just tell him what had happened, what was going on—

“You have the most uncanny ability of reminding me why I’m not allowed to kiss you right when I really want to.”

Lord have mercy.

“For the love of Grim, why did my saying your name wreck it?!” Collin flailed, his anger rising though he wasn’t oblivious. He knew it felt weird to say his name. He knew it felt just as awkward for Angel to say his name. He knew something about it was painful and nostalgic and misery inducing for Angel—

But he wanted to say his name, damn it.

He wanted Angel to say his.

He wanted—

Angel sighed in front of his apartment door, his hand on the knob, his face tilted downward. Collin stopped just beside him and quietly hoped by some miracle Angel might not slam that door in his face.

Finally, the blond released his hold on the door and turned around, offering Collin a soft small smile, “Sorry, I know it’s really not your fault…” He reached a hand up to twist a lock of Collin’s hair around his fingers, “I was just being a shit okay? Just. My own sulking over not being able to…”

Collin felt his heart hammer against his ribcage, he held Angel’s hand and pressed it, bent fingers and all, against his cheek, “Well I for one am not going to stop you.”

Angel rolled his eyes but flattened his fingers against Collin’s skin.

“Goodnight Collin.”

It sent a shudder through his body. He hoped he could memorize this moment. Angel pulled his hand away and let himself into his apartment. As he shut the door, quietly, thankfully no slamming, he pressed the hand that had been on Collin’s cheek to his lips.

Yup. Collin was going to die.

“You okay, dude?”

Collin almost jumped, glancing at Lucy who had her door cracked open, clearly having watched him walk her neighbor inside.

Collin bit his lip and looked from Angel’s shut door to Lucy who shrugged and pulled her own door open. She had a towel draped over her shoulders and her hair still looked a bit damp but otherwise she was presentable.

“Come on, I’ve got some orange juice, let’s talk about our hopeless love lives.”

At Collin’s ridiculous expression she scoffed and tugged him inside.

“My love life isn’t hopeless���! Is it…?”