#idk i wanna go back to study but like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thresholdbb · 14 days ago

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Ok I got an interview at a place that mixes custom pet food

#yeah no one else will write me back and it's part time so maybe I can swing it #plus possibly snow/smoke days off cause they follow the school calendar #had to leave DEI off my old job title to get a call back #like I did dei trainings in a (now) red state I knew it was polarizing but it was confirmed almost immediately #a little anxious cause one of the questions is about potential allergens and they have flowers on the list #I am allergic to all flowers yes but it is probably fine?#recently learned most people don't take 5 allergy pills and 2 nasal sprays even if they have allergies #(I still have my eye/neck rash from mystery allergens possibly formaldehyde but maybe sulfates? idk smh)#the posting says you can listen to music/podcasts so maybe I can actually catch up on delta flyers #and I was supposed to do part time for my sister but she still hasn't paid me for the last stuff I did for her #I don't wanna be an asshole but I can't keep giving myself money out of my long term savings #$22 an hour but the most I made at the school district was like $27... better at the university but that situation was always unstable #where I live has all warehouse jobs and only a couple educational institutions of which I've burned bridges at 2 #maybe 3 if you count the museum... yeah I'm the worst #plus education sucks I never wanted to go into education but somehow that's where all my experience is #yeah I have a masters degree it is completely worthless don't keep studying because the economy is in ruins and it feels safer #bad decisions made when I was 22 to become over educated and then chronically underemployed (or straight up unemployed like now)

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seiwas · 1 month ago

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hope everyone is having is having a great week so far! 🥹✨

#sorry i havent been on much! life’s just a lil busy!#im too shy to put it in a post but everything with my masters has been settled 🥺#i got accepted into the school i wanted and just got my student visa granted the other day 🥺#(idk if i ever mentioned that i plan to study abroad for my masters! specifically where mr. sel is 🥺)#so i am slated to leave early next year 🥹 and i’ll be staying w mr. sel 🥺🥺🥺🥺#ldr is truly over !!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺#that is all auosnzidnjd so life lately has just been absorbing that and fixing things for the move!#along w spending time w him while he’s here 🥹#i was honestly considering going on semi hiatus 😭 but i still read a lot of fics anyway so… HAHAHA #i might take a lil writing break tho not sure 🥺 maybe just put less pressure on myself to post?#i feel really bad that i havent given attention to the fics of mine that i keep talking abt 😭 like all the series i have #and i wanna get back into reading a looooot 🥺 esp longer stuff 🥺 so lets see!#anyway ! how are all of youuuu!!!#i am currently rewatching a mingyu fancam LOL

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faaun · 4 months ago

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ok let's catch up quickly

#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth #(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian #like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told #him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive #fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research #(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux #to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him #my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept #insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them #and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating #apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they #keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading #this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY #JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT #NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn #this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore #i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt #himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure #even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin #right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love #her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her #its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking #kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD #i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society #feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO #WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best #its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good #one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much

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artsy-cup · 7 months ago

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hmmm theres something about her....

#quick little character study..? is that what i should call this? idk i just wanna know how i could draw her #<- literally only thing i do tbh #big L to lilith games for not making all maulers full furries but whatever #anyways has anyone like made a transcript of journey yet?#or is there a way to go back to watch / read past cutscenes that i missed cause i just have all dialogue on auto for whatever reason #fan art #afk arena #afk journey #afk satrana #yeah im back to playing hi hello i am a casual do not ask to add me on anything

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nachobsns · 13 days ago

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honestly really need to curb my phone addiction and i’ve been looking into dumbphones lately as an alternative for when i’m out and about and like. say what you will about brand consumerism but i am a simple man and the barbie phone is calling to me

#NGL i liked the barbie movie i didn’t think it was anything exceptional but it was good #i probably wouldn’t get a whole phone themed around it but it was like the only dumbphone i could find that came in a cute color #and worked with us networks so. idk why not #i have like hundreds of dollars sitting in my account unused from a summer job but the little gollum in the back of my brain #is like that’s My money. that belongs to Me. and it hurts to spend even when i have no actual plans for it #so ditching my phone to stop feeling like i’m wasting my adolescence is as good a use as any #in a perfect world i would just stop taking my phone to school but i need music to calm my social anxiety on the walk #and i’m not playing games with the american public school system re: having a way to contact people in an emergency #i would feel kinda stupid buying it around now because i already gave my parents my wishlist and i don’t wanna seem ungrateful #but if i do end up buying it maybe i’ll do a review on here at some point. it looks really cute and there’s so many things i want to do #that having my phone as a distraction all the time makes difficult. read more learn to skateboard and crochet keep up with my spanish #start on hebrew and maybe arabic. pick up viola again. hang out with my friends finally get a permit and a part time job study for the sat #stop procrastinating my homework all the time!!!#like hate to say it but my mom was right sometimes it really is That Damn Phone™️#i don’t want to look back when i’m like thirty and go “wow i really threw away my high school years” yanno

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saeshiraw · 1 year ago

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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

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brown-little-robin · 9 months ago

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Sometimes I enjoy my history of rhetoric class, and other times I want to scream WHY DO WE ONLY CARE ABOUT THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE SPEAKING TO THE LARGEST POSSIBLE AUDIENCE?!?!

#it's the Americanism #we're doing rhetoric of the middle ages right now and I KNOW why we're studying Rhetoric that's the name of the Class after all #but I'm just like. I want to know about every individual person I don't Wanna study this through the lens of political influence #idk it's this irrational thing that keeps coming up for me #where I suddenly get the urge to go WHY ARE WE EVEN STUDYING THIS TELL ME ABOUT THE PEOPLE'S LIVES #ANYWAY #ok back to being logged out

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adore-gregor · 1 month ago

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🤞

#exams did go fairly well #hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them #so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks #so hopefully i can get back to better routines now #i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious #buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week #also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk #my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities #i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra #i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so #but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either #well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig #but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study #i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism #we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them #i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely #like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting #and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well #but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy #otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy #but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports #before uni starts at half 10 #i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus #i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself

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silverselfshippingchaos · 1 month ago

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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..

#ash rambles 💚#negative #part of it is definitely the weather #it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed #but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today #im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up #and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see #me as more than a friend and other stuff like that #i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and #i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that #if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore #what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked #to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s #just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me #being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO #I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot #and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as #though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and #i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA #holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always #bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles #(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if #I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later #i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..

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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 3 months ago

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Called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday and we spent an hour discussing what I was doing with my life 😭

#my uncle wants me to go get a PhD in quant or finance or information systems and then become a professor #OR #be a lawyer or a dentist #the PhD thing was very specifically catered when I was like 👉🏽👈🏽 I wanna teach #none of those things sound all that appealing..#space law Has Potential #but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out #they were both like. you have two years but then figure your life out by then #and then they were like. what is ur cousin doing. has he proposed yet #and I was like ??? it hasn’t even bee n a year?? I think they’re going to Japan #and oopsies apparently he had not told them they were going to Japan #my bad #after I. very reasonably said it makes sense to wait 2-3 years #he went ‘what is there going to be left to talk about then. life is all downhill from there. might as well get married now’#and. I’ve never ever ever heard that from a human being before #WHAT DO U MEAN YOULL RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT #I could never #anyways love having my existential crises exacerbated by familial interactions #they just Say Things #I need to study. I’m gonna go do that maybe #actually no I want to complain more. my uncle keeps saying that the problem with space is that there’s only a few cities that work on it.#and that’s gonna limit my choice of partner #(so funny how they say partner. they are very homophobic and have no idea or they’d go THE MAN YOU MARRY like my mother does)#I feel like space is growing…#altho I’m sure that’s what people thought in the 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s #idk some of these bitches have been around since like the 70s and 80s and 90s #so it’s not like they all got fired immediately #my dental hygienist was telling me space was great until Obama slashed the budget #I didn’t have anything to say back considering I was 8 when he was elected and know v little about his policies #anyways. this is a psa to not call ur relatives even to wish them happy bday because then they’ll trap u in conversation and make u question

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vogelmeister · 6 months ago

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I was always under the impression that you are Dutch.... Succesful dutchification

ah huh! i have fooled another one (jk jk).

i am not, i am very much still a humble australian, last time i checked. and unless this ancestry dna test on my desk proves anything otherwise, i remain very much Not Dutch.