#idk i really liked the outfit i wore yesterday

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

I finished the second episode of Heartstopper last night (wanted to post about it yesterday, but I was too tired from work), so here are some of my thoughts in no particular order for you now.

Good on Nick for checking up on Charlie after what happened. I found it odd, though, that he seemed more emotional about it than Charlie, but I guess they're in two very different places, mentally. One being 'why do I seem to like this guy way more than my other friends?' & the other being 'omg stop being so nice to me, your straight!' lol. Plus, I get that everyone deals with stuff in their own way & poor Charlie is probably so used to being mistreated that he might just be repressing the full weight of how his feeling as a copeing mechanism. It was also probably very cathartic to finally tell someone everything that happened between him & Ben (as I'm guessing he kept most if not all of it a secret from his friends & sister).

WE FINALLY MEET NELLIE!!!! And she is as cute as I'd hoped (though for some reason I expected her to be a different colour).

Sorry, Charlie, but Tori's right. Your hair looks exactly the same. Also, love that they kept the gag from the novel about her scaring him with her, always showing up suddenly without warning.

Nice to see that the outfits are on point for our boys so far with the plaid/black jeans (trying to impress someone, I see Charlie) & T-shirt/joggers (also what product is Miss Nelson using coz Nick's tops look soft as hell).

Wait, what season is it supposed to be because it looked really sunny when Charlie was walking to Nick's house (I know he was wearing a coat & hat but Charlie is always cold) but then suddenly it's snowing? Idk when Alice first came up with this story, but as a Brit, I haven't seen proper full on Snow since I was probably around eight years old. But hey, maybe in the Heartstopper universe, global warming doesn't exist.

I don’t care what anyone says, I will never get the fun of a snowball fight. If I go somewhere with a friend & they start throwing stuff at me, I'm leaving! Also, picking it up with your bare hands? One, it's been on the ground 🤢, and two, where are your gloves? Do you not feel the cold? Snow angles do look fun until I think about how my entire behind would be frozen/damp. Sorry if that makes me a "stick in the mud", I don't care 😝.

Damn, that is one photogenic dog & and aww, they already look like a couple. Also, give it up for Nick's freckles, the real star of the show 👏.

Omg, being in the same group as someone you hate must be so hard, but I get why Nick can't really say anything about what Ben did, at least not right now. Also, what is up with that Imogen girl? Mind your damn business.

I think it's good we get to see Elle longing for a bond with other girls that she just can't get from her male friend group. Makes her transition feel more fleshed out (for lack of a better word), you know?

Yay, we finally meet Tara & Darcy & they're exactly how I thought they'd be (except I imagined Darcy with brown hair for some reason). Ooh I didn't know Elle was artistic. I wanna decorate pencil cases now. Tara's pink puffa coat is so cute. What is up with adults dictating how long kids' hair can be? Like who gives a fuck! Also "gal pals" had me 😆.

Oh, thank god, it's just misinformation. For a second, I thought Tao was making shit up just to make Charlie get over his crush. Are kids really like that, though? I can't imagine kissing someone once & having people insist, I'm madly in love with them to this day, like move on already.

Ok, I officially really like the gay teacher, lol.

Love Charlie's sweater & Nick's coats are also very nice. Where are these kids getting their clothes? Coz I'm embarrassed by most of the stuff I wore as a teenager.

The big hoodie moment should be cute, but I just can't help thinking about how skinny Charlie is, which makes me ☹️.

Ok, so I didn't care much for the leaf animation in the first episode, but omg, the little fire crackles when Nick was trying to hold Charlie's hand? Screaming, crying, throwing up!!!!!!! & the hug before he left? Fucking crops watered for life, bitch!

Was digging Elle's outfit, very 70's vibes.

Ah, so their "secret" is out. Also obligatory: 🗣 LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GO 🗣

Can't wait for the next episode, but I practically passed out after watching episode 2 (manual labour is hard, kids 😭), so maybe I hallucinated, but did that Imogen girl ask Nick out? I thought she was daiting Ben? Or is that a different girl?

PS. I found out Aled won't be in the show, which I accept & the only reason I haven't talked about Isaac is because he hasn't really done much yet

[atinyjules]

Broken Melodies: Fake or True ft. Lee Jeno {ch-8}

A/n: Welcome back! I don't really have anything to say so let's just get started ay?

Here it iss✨

The mini - masterlist for this series can be found here

Eunbi's

The next day I woke up feeling healthier and ready to go to college. I took a shower, did my skincare and wore my outfit of the day before going downstairs to eat breakfast with dad and Jaem.

"Where Jaem?" I ask dad as we ate.

"He had to go early for something." he said making my mouth form an o before nodding.

"Okay, oh-dad our class is going on a camping trip." I said as he nodded.

"Jeno and Jaemin told me." he said making me furrow my brows.

"Why would Jeno tell you about it?" I questioned as he chuckled.

"Because he wants you to be there." he said making me shake my head.

"Thank you, because of you two...the gangs have never been more peaceful and friendly with each other." Dad said softly making me smile.

"Dad, I promised I'd do it." I said as he smiled and patted my head.

After finishing my breakfast I went off to college after Renjun and Haechan came to pick me up in Renjun's car.

"No kidding, Lee Jeno did that?" Haechan said as I nodded.

"Yup. He even told me to get well quickly...did something happen yesterday?" I asked them as they thought.

"I don't think so-" Haechan cut himself and gasped as Renjun looked at him before gasping himself.

"What?" I asked as they both stood in front of me and raised their hands, shaking them.

"NOTHING!" They said in unison making me get suspicious as they awkwardly laughed and headed to class.

"Why are they acting so weirdly?" I mumbled and headed to class as well.

"Your camping trip is coming and so is your summer holidays. In fact you'll all be starting your summer holidays after you return from the camping trip sooo, I have prepared an assignment for all of you to do." Professor Cho said making everyone groan and complain when she clapped her hands.

"Now, now! It's a group assignment and don't worry! I've already paired you in to teams of six and seven!" she said enthusiastically making me groan as well.

"When I call your names, one of you come to take your assignments." she said as I waited for my name to be called.

Anyone but Dong Xiaolian. I'm okay with Jeno. Just not Dong Xiaolian.

"Na Eunbi, Jo Yuri, Dong Xiaolian, Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck, Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin." I felt my world collaspe as I heard Bitch Dong Xiaolian and my brother's names. I don't hate my brother...but with Jeno supposedly liking Xiaolian and Jaemin definitely liking her (idk what he saw in her) they can't be in the same room.

I saw Xiaolian getting up to go get the assignment making my eyes twitch as I hurried and got it before her. I threw her a sarcastic smile as I walked back to my seat.

"Eunbi, we're team mates!" I smiled and hugged Yuri as she sat in her seat which was infront of me.

"I know! I'm happy to have at least one person in the team who's not stupid." I say getting a dissatisfied look from Renjun who was my seat mate.

"Says the said stupid person. I get the highest grades in class." he says proudly before flipping his front hair.

"And Yuri gets second. She's right behind you and I'm right behind her." I say making Yuri laugh as I pushed Renjun.

"Yeah, you're right behind her not me." he said making me speechless as he laughed when Hyuck came and squeezed himself into Renjun's chair.

"Yah! What are you-" Hyuck cut Renjun off by leaning on the desk.

"Guysss, Jeno and Jaemin...there is a really tense air surrounding them and Xiaolian." he said making me whip my head towards them.

Oh no

"Jeno! JENO!" I called for him and for a quick second I could've sworn I saw Xiaolian send me a glare but no one seemed to have noticed so I shrugged.

Jeno groaned and came towards me.

"What?" he said minding his tone.

"Sit! We have to discuss." I said as he turned his head around.

Don't do it.

"Xiaolian...we're gonna discuss about the assignment." my eye twitched at Jeno as Renjun tugged at my hair to bring me out of my trance.

Irritation was evident in my face as everyone sat in a circle.

"The Na's have the same look on their faces! What's wrong?" Hyuck asked while laughing causing both of us to look at each other before looking at Hyuck.

"Mind your own business!" we said in unison making Hyuck raise his hands in defense.

"I'm sorry!" he said as we huffed.

"Sooo, since we're a team we should have a team leader! How about we vote? Everyone gets to vote for two people!" Xiaolian said as I scoffed.

Bitch trying to make everyone choose her.

"Lets start with Jeno! Who wants Jeno to be the leader?" she said cheerfully as she raised her hand.

Not me

"Just me? I thought Eunbi would vote since she's dating Jeno!" she said and looked at me in a semi-shocked, semi-mocking expression.

"Well, I know he's not capable of carrying out the role of team leader for a Literature assignment. He hates the subject." I say as Yuri, Hyuck and Renjun whoop and cheer.

"She has a point." Jeno said as I threw a smug smile at Xiaolian.

"Okay, what about Haechan?" Renjun chuckled as no one raised their hand for him making him sulk.

"Oookay! What about Renjun?" before anyone could speak Renjun raised his hand.

"I'm not interested." he said making me, Yuri and Hyuck hit him.

"Why not?!" we questioned in unison as he waved it off.

"Not. Intetested." he said as we continued.

"Okay! What about me?" she said confidently as I scoffed internally.

I knew Jaemin would definitely raise his hand up but the moment Jeno did a look of pure rage spread through my face as I gave him a long hard pinch on the thigh without anyone's knowledge.

Good thing I decided to wear my pointy nails today.

He winced and looked over to me as I threw him a dirty look.

'What do you think you're doing?' I asked through my eyes as he kept his hand up.

'What I want, any problem?' He retaliated making me gasp as Xiaolian's voice brought us back to reality.

So that's how you wanna play?

"Oh! I'm so sorry Eunbi, I got your boyfriend's vote!" she said, sounding a bit too happy as I gritted my teeth.

"Ya, give me your vote and I'll give you mine during your turn." I whispered to Jaemin who sat beside me as he shrugged.

"I was gonna give it to you anyways, besides, I don't need yours. I'm not interested in playing leader." he whispered as I furrowed my brows at him.

"But you gave yours to Xiaolian." I whispered as he shrugged.

"You can give votes to anyone no matter who you voted for." he said as I smiled and nudged his shoulder.

"Since I have the most votes so far I think its best if I'm the leader." Xiaolian said making me quirk my brows as I stood up.

"There's six of us and you got only two votes, majority didn't vote for you. Besides, Yuri, Jaem and me didn't get our turns." I said as she smiled at me.

"Yuri isn't interested and Jaemin won't get any votes anyways. So there isn't any use for you to contest." she said making me scoff in disbelief as I looked at Yuri and Jaem.

How could she talk about Jaem like that?!

"I wasn't interested anyways...but that doesn't mean my sister can't get a turn. Whether its useful or not she still deserves a chance. So...those who vote for Eunbi to be leader, raise your hands." Jaem said raising his hands as I looked at him, speechless when I felt movement from beside me.

"She has my vote." Renjun said making me widen my eyes as Hyuck and Yuri raised their hands.

"Count us in to!" Yuri said as Hyuck proudly nodded along.

"Yeah!" Hyuck said when I saw Jeno raising his hand as well without looking at me. I turned to look at Jaemin who smirked and stood up as he eyed Xiaolian.

"Eunbi got five votes while you got two...I think we already know who our team leader is...majority wins." he said as he looked at me with a smile.

"But Eunbi's not good in Literature, so I just meant to say that it would be better if I'm the leader since I'm better at Korean Literature." Xiaolian said with a smile making me scoff.

"You're looking at a Korean and Foreign literature topper." I said proudly as I took the file from her.

"Let's begin shall we?"

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Jaemin's

I chuckled as Bi hopped through the street as

we made our way back home. We decided to walk instead so that we could get some stuff before we head home.

"Did you see her face?! Oh-I forgot you like her." she whispered the last part as I ruffled her hair.

"No worries." I said with a slightly monotone voice making her stop and look at me.

"You okay? You've been off since we got paired up." She said as I sighed.

"It's hard to hide your feelings from someone you like." I lied hoping she'd fall for it and it looked like she did as she let out an exasperated sigh.

"You're unbelievable." Bi said and hit my arm as I chuckled. She ran infront to enter the convenience store making me stop in my tracks for a while as my mind drifted off to when I was at class.

"Hey, Xiaolian. Guess we're paired up." I said smiling brightly with an enthusiastic tone.

"Ugh...I'm paired up with both the Na's." she said making my smile falter as I quickly regained my composure and chuckled.

"What's wrong with being around Na's?" I said as she glared at me.

"If Jeno hates the Na's, so do I."

Oh, no. Jaemin's heart has been broken to shards-😭

That's it for this chapter 💖✨

Taglist: @multifandomania @chenlesfeetpic

I hope you liked it! 💖✨

You can find chapter 9 here

Likes and rebloggs are appreciated 💖✨

[plushiewannabe]

I'm turning evil. I wore a long flowing dress yesterday in the comfort of my own room and I felt great. At first I was like eh, but once I completed the outfit I felt really happy? This might be gender euphoria but I'm not sure. It could also just be me wanting to wear skirts cause like, I'm fairly certain I still wanna be a dude... but maybe I'm non binary or something idk

Sorry to all my objectum followers lol I have no where else to get this out there

Btw if ur a minor please leave me alone

[destinyc1020]

The last time Zendaya looked fine were in those pap pics at the grocery store in late October 2023. Not sure what happened between Oct and Dec 2023, because it was noticeable in Brazil she lost some weight. Now she is even skinnier than Brazil and she looks very thin. I hope she spends some time after this promo tour to rest and regroup.

Are you talking about the Brazil Dune Part 2 ComicCon type event where she was wearing the lobster dress lol??

THIS event??

Idk...she looked normal to me?? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Like I said, I didn't even notice the weight loss until yesterday's "tennis court dress". Even the blue outfit she wore the other day showed her legs and I noticed immediately that her legs looked slimmer than usual.

I think it could just be a combo of stress, and the fact that she's slimmed down naturally due to not having to bulk up to look like a world athlete tennis champion for "Challengers". But hey, idk.... All I hope is that she's doing okay. 😔 🙏🏾She looks HAPPY, so I'll just assume that she's okay, and that she's just excited/stressed about her first lead film coming out.

Sometimes, we just don't know what people are going through internally, ykwim? Like, she might even have personal things in her personal life that she's thinking about/stressed about, etc. We as fans only get to see 2% of celebrity lives, so we really don't know what people are going through! But her energy seems good, and she seems like she got over whatever sickness she had after the Dune 2 Press Tour, so that's good. 🥰

[whatsnewalycat]

I’ve been really, um… activated the past few weeks.

Like, super insecure and sensitive and on edge. It’s been really hard, because this is something I thought I had a pretty good handle on for the past year or two. So on top of these shitty internal symptoms, I’ve been beating myself up because I thought I was mostly done feeling like this, being like this, what the fuck???

Yesterday, it was like everything just culminated.

It was the last day of my first work week after being a stay-at-home mom and ft student for 16 months, which brings all new stressors and social dynamics im not used to. I didn’t get much sleep because I stayed up late making a cheesecake, which I fucked up anyway. I’m PMSing and got my period. I was late for work. My computer didn’t work when I got there. I wore an uncomfortable outfit. Then of course I tried socializing with new coworkers, and idk, I’m such a nervous wreck, I convinced myself I was a disaster and everyone there hates me. It was a bad day.

I went home and cried for… hours. I cuddled with my husband and talked to him about it, then watched tv to kinda get myself out of my head and calm down. Got a ton of sleep. This morning when I woke up I was laying there for a while, thinking, and like… I was able to place this insecure, rabid, horrible, desperate feeling that’s been ramping up inside me and came to a peak yesterday.

It’s classic rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), which is a thing that presents in a lot (maybe all??? not sure) of ppl with ADHD. For the past 2 years or so, I managed to get to and stay in a place where I’m pretty fucking secure in my relationships and social situations, so I haven’t really dealt with a major flare up of RSD symptoms. But with all these changes the past few weeks, it’s been slowly creeping back up, and just fucking wrecked me yesterday lol. It sucked.

So, yeah, idk. Sorry if I’ve been weird in a bad and concerning way. Now that I‘ve been able to place what’s going on, instead of feeling just miscellaneously crazy, I can try to cope with it in a healthier way going forward.

OK THATS ALL THANKS IF U MADE IT THIS FAR ❤️

[resident-gay-bitch]

My Handsome Boy

ASK: "hi… it’s me again, sorry :) i was wondering if you could do eddie x ftm reader where the reader gets bullied by jason and jason says stuff like “she’s not even a real boy” or idk and it’s just eddie comforting the reader, thank you sm i love ur writing <;3" - @ilovejquinn

pairing: eddie munson x ftm!reader

summary: Jason Carver is a transphobic asshole who decides to openly attempt to humiliate you in the middle of school. no matter how low the jock makes you feel, Eddie’s always there to pick up the pieces. your number one supporter, right from the get go.

warnings: Transphobia, use of transphobic slurs (‘tranny’ & 'hermaphrodite’)

Reader Description: trans f to m, Y/N = your name, L/N = last name, D/N = dead name. 

The thing about Eddie is that he didn’t care about people’s differences. He was different himself. It’s why you initially took such a liking to him. It was way back in middle school, before you had even realised who you really were, when your hair still hung long, when you’d still put on pink shiny lip gloss in an attempt to fit in, when you still wore dresses and skirts everywhere you went. You remembered, it was right after the talent show, another student had just been booed off the stage for their ventriloquy act. You found it rather amusing, actually, but this kid had thick framed glasses, he was book smart, he always wore superhero shirts to school, and during his act he matched his outfit to his puppet and made jokes about sci-fi and fantasy books. The jocks didn’t like that. So they booed him off, none of them suffered any consequences of course. But you remembered, you were walking around the back of the school to your mum’s car, and you saw Eddie and his old buzz cut with a soft hand on the crying boy’s shoulder, his other hand cradling the puppet. You remembered over hearing what he had said when you walked past, 

“I loved the joke you made about The Hobbit man, I love those books so much. My uncle got me the hard backs for my birthday. Maybe you’d like to borrow them some time, if you don’t mind my drawings and little writings in the margins.” 

“You mean it?” The boy perked up.

“Hell yeah.” Eddie smiled. 

“You can borrow my director’s edition of the Starwars films sometime, if you like that stuff too.” 

“No way man! You have those?” Eddie grinned, “I’m jealous. How do you get this puppet to speak like you do? I think it’s really cool.” He tried to move its mouth with his hand. 

“It’s– it’s pretty stupid.” 

“No it’s not.” Eddie spoke with full sincerity, a wide smile spread across his face, “It looks really hard to do. You must have, like… magic or something to make it work. Are you a wizard or something?” 

You thought he must have been the sweetest boy alive, because you knew damn well that he didn’t even see that boys whole act. He was backstage himself, practising for his own set. His band got booed off stage that day too. Yet, no one comforted him. So the next day back at school, you fought down all your nerves and walked right up to him at lunch. His table went quiet, eyes all dead set on you. No one dared ever talk to them, they were the freaks… the outcasts. But deep down, you knew you were one too, and you didn’t want anyone to feel as alone as you did. 

“Uhm…” you started, and neither of them blinked, “I just wanted to say that… I– I thought your song was really cool yesterday. Did you write it?” 

Eddie laughed, he full on laughed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, “Why don’t you just fuck off instead of making more fun of us?” 

“What?” your words caught in your throat, you didn’t understand why he was being so mean. 

“Your song was so cool.” he mimicked in a high pitched preppy voice, “We get it. Satan’s music. Whatever.” 

“No, I-” you swallowed the lump in your throat down, “I mean it… it’s not exactly my taste, but I still thought it was cool. Did you write it, or was it a cover? You said it was called Wicked World or something.” 

Eddie’s face turned red, “You– you mean it?” 

You just nodded. 

“Ye-” He cleared his throat, “We– It’s a cover. From Black– Black Sabbath.” 

You nodded, “I just wanted to tell you that someone thought it was cool.”

“Thanks.” He smiled sheepishly. 

“I like your guitar too… It looks so cool.” 

He beamed up at you, those big brown eyes looking deep into your soul, the slight pink in his cheeks. That’s when you knew you had a crush on him. 

You were invited into his friend group after that, and after a couple months, you finally felt like you belonged somewhere… like you fit in. It took you a few more years to figure out that you weren’t actually a girl. And the first person you told was Eddie. You were terrified. Absolutely the most scared you had ever felt in your entire life. The first thing he said to you, after you explained your situation to him, was something you never expected, 

“Do you want me to cut your hair? Or do you like it long, like mine?” 

You looked at him, awestruck. Not a single response comes to mind. 

“You want to look more like a boy, right? Or am I getting confused?” 

“No, I-” You shook your head in disbelief, “I do want to look like a boy- I am… I am a boy.” 

“Yeah.” He smiled, jumping to his feet, “If you want some boy clothes, you can have some of mine. Come on, let’s pick some out for you.” 

Once Eddie helped turn you into you, you decided to face your parents. Eddie right beside you as you did. Your father didn’t really understand, but he tried his best and respected your choices. He slipped up a lot, but you knew he was trying, and that was all that mattered. You mum however, needed a little more time to come around to the idea. She left to live with her friend for a while, but when she was ready to return, she handed you your first binder. Goodbye bandages! Thank You mum! 

You had your first kiss at seventeen. It was during a game of spin the bottle with Hellfire, plus a few stray outcasts from around the school that Jeff had invited along to his birthday party. The rules were simple, if it landed on the opposite gender, you had to kiss right there, if it landed on the same gender, you had to tell them a deep dark secret. When it was Eddie’s turn to spin, it landed on you. That struck a problem, no one really knew what to categorise you as. It hurt. 

“He’s a boy.” Eddie said in full confidence. 

“Yeah, but-”

“He’s a boy.” He smiled at you, standing on his feet and reaching his hand out to you, “Come on Y/N, I got the perfect secret to tell you.” 

It was really the bare minimum, but since Eddie was the only one to give you that, it made your heart soar. He took you around the corner, the designated secret sharing spot, and smiled at you softly. 

“You okay?” 

“I am now.” you smiled. 

“Good.”

“So, what’s your secret, Edward Munson? What have you been hiding from me?” 

“Well… I never thought I would tell anyone this… ever. But, since you told me the scariest thing about yourself, it’s only fair.” 

You nodded your head, smiling at him for assurance. 

“I’m–” He cleared his throat, “I’m gay.” 

Your eyes widened, your mouth hung slack for a moment. Your heart fucking skipped a beat. 

“Is that okay?” He looked at the ground instead of you. 

Obviously Eddie, you thought, “Why wouldn’t you be? Have you seen Robert Plant?” 

Eddie looked up at you, his head tipped slightly and he raised his eyebrows, “Yeah… yeah I’ve seen him. Are- do you see Robert Plant like that?”

You nodded your head with a soft smile, “So… you into anyone?”

He swallowed thickly, “Maybe.” 

You held your breath, “Who?”

Eddie looked back to the ground, his cheeks bright red, “Well… he’s really cool, he makes me smile a lot… he– he is super handsome, and probably likes my guitar more than me.” 

You couldn’t help the small smile that creeped onto your face, you bit your lip to hide it and shuffled in your spot a little. 

“Is that… okay?” He looked up at you slowly, “Do you mind?”

“Eddie,” you smiled softly, “are you that oblivious to the fact that I’ve had a crush on you since middle school?” 

Those perfect eyes stared right into yours, slightly alarmed, a little taken aback, but mostly burning with desire, “Apparently I am.” 

You laughed. 

“Can we totally fuck the rules of spin the bottle so I can kiss you anyway?” 

“When have the rules ever applied to us, Ed’s?” you smiled and pulled yourself a little closer. 

Since that night, Eddie would never leave your side. To everyone else in the world you were just a couple of inseparable best friends, and a couple of freaks. But to each other, you were everything. Behind closed doors you would hold each other close, and you’d kiss, and you let yourself fall in love. The only other person to know about the two of you was Wayne, because he picked up on everything. 

——————————————————————————

“Dude, no way.” you laughed, your voice deeper than usual, you had finally started on T a few weeks ago.

“Yes way.” Gareth smiled as you walked between classes, “I still can’t get over your voice man, it’s so weird.”

Your heart sank. 

“Not like that!” He was quick to say, “it’s just different. I’m used to your voice being higher, you know. It just catches me off guard.” 

A smile surfaced back to your face, “Yeah, I guess it surprises me sometimes too.” 

It was the first day back at school after spring break, no one but Eddie and his band members had been around you since your voice dropped. So it was safe to say you got a few weird looks here and there, a few odd questions about it Eddie was quick to answer for you whenever he was around. It felt good, to finally grow into yourself a little more, but the amount of attention it got you felt horrible. You felt like a walking target, bright blinking arrows pointed right at your head from every direction and honking noises came out of the ground with every step you took. You were just relieved no one had picked a fight with you yet. 

“L/N!” 

Yeah, I spoke too soon. 

“D/N L/N!” Jason Carver called out from across the hall. 

Only a small number of people called you by your real name. You were used to it, but it still cut like a knife, every goddamn time. 

“What?” you turned to him slowly. 

He laughed, “So it’s true. Your nonexistent balls finally dropped.” 

You rolled your eyes, “What’s it to you, Carver?” 

“Ohhh, someones feeling sassy today, isn’t she?” that wicked smirk on the corner of his lips dug deep into your soul. 

“He.” Gareth spoke up, correcting the jock.

“I hardly think so. She’s a fake. Not an ounce of man in her body.” 

“And you think there’s an ounce in yours?” you hummed. 

He glared at you, “Thats bold, coming from someone in your position, D/N.”

“Thats not my name.” 

“I. Don’t. Care.” he shook his head, a small chuckle erupting from his lungs, “Your still a freak. Who cares what the freak wants?” 

Your face started to heat. 

“Awh, look at that, the Tranny’s gonna cry.” 

You looked away, tears threatening to spill, “Fuck off, Jason. Don’t you have some balls to play with or something?” 

“Hey!” He snapped, learching closer till he was right in front of your face, “Don’t you dare speak to me with such disrespect, you piece of shit.” 

“Go away.” you whispered, eyes clamping shut as you tried to take a step back. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “don’t want to risk catching the hermaphrodite disease.” 

He half laughed, half scoffed before walking back to his little parade of friends. Eddie came racing around the corner having heard about the previous interaction. He came to a screeching halt right in front of you, his hands landing on your biceps, his eyes scanning your red face, a certain tenderness in his expression that made your heart sink a little. 

“What did he say?” 

You couldn’t speak, you knew if you did you would only cry. He looked at Gareth who just slowly shook his head, sadness in his eyes. 

“Come on, we’re skipping.” He grabbed your hand, and took your books from you, leading you through the halls and out to his spot in the forest behind the school, “I got you, sweetheart. You’re safe with me.” 

You hurried along beside him, clutching onto his hand for dear life as you crossed the empty football field. When you arrived, he carefully sat you down on the picnic bench, pulling his jacket off and placing it down on the table before squatting down in front of you.

“You wanna tell me what happened? Or not yet?” his tone was soft, the gentle hum of his voice was the cushioning your heart so desperately needed. 

You looked at him, eyes glassy, your vision blurring as tears spilled out, “Am I a disease, Eddie?” 

“What the fuck?” a lump formed in his throat, “Did he say that to you?” 

You nodded. 

“No. no your not.” He grabbed your hands, “If you were, wouldn’t you think I would have caught it by now? You know… considering I’ve had my tongue down your throat and everything?” 

“Eddie!” You swatted his chest, a small laugh was shared between the two of you. 

“He kept calling me a girl.” you sighed, “Telling me I was fake and stuff. He made fun of my voice.” 

“Are you kidding me? How could he make fun of that?” He smiled, “It sounds so good already. Maybe he’s just jealous you sound more manly than him.” 

You half heartedly smiled, your hands still in his, tears still creeping their way down your cheeks. 

“You remember I only like dudes right? So if you were a girl, or a fake guy, there would be no way for me to love you, sweetheart.”

“But I don’t look like a boy.” 

“You do to me.” He smiled, “I think you are the most handsome boy I have ever seen… apart from maybe Robert Plant.” 

You bit your lip, how did he always make you laugh when you felt so glum like this? 

“It doesn’t matter what that fuckwad thinks. It doesn’t matter what any of them think, they’re all fucking losers. You, Y/N L/N are a boy, through and through, and I love you everyday because of it. Anyone who wants to disagree, doesn’t deserve to have you in their life. They don’t deserve to know such a beautiful person.” 

“You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend.” You sighed. 

“So fucking what?” He scoffed, shuffling a little closer, “Shouldn’t that make it more meaningful? The people that love you, and accept you… those people mean the most, right?”

You looked at your hands as you played with one of his rings, “I suppose.” 

“I promise you, Y/N, you’re not fake. You’re just as real as I am.” He smiled up at you softly, “Yeah, you might have had to take a few more steps to get there, yeah… the postage company sent a few wrong parts-” 

You laughed, your eyes fluttering shut for a moment and you took a breath. 

“But that’s okay. Because deep down inside, you are a boy. You always have been, and you always will be.” He pulled one of your hands tight to his chest, leaning down to press a soft kiss on your knuckles, “I hate that there will be some people- a lot of people, that arent gonna like it… but none of those people really matter. None of those people mean anything. Me, your parents, the guys… we will always love you, and accept you, and let you be who you really are because you matter, and you are valid, and you are real.” 

You took a shaky breath, more tears threatened to spill, but this time they weren’t tears of hurt, “You really think that?” 

“Sweetheart, I know that.” 

You shut your eyes softly, a small tear slipped from the corner, and then another, and then another. Eddie kissed your knuckles again, a swift hand came up to wipe at your tears. His hands cupped your face gently, the calloused pads of his thumbs brushed over the undersides of your eyes and the high of your cheeks, now wet with your tears. He whispered sweet hums of reassurance and shushs as he let you catch up to your emotions. 

“I really love you, Eddie.” you whispered. 

“I really love you too, my handsome boy.” He smiled so softly, you thought if you started at it too long you would break. 

[goosewriting]

yesterday i finally watched the new tmnt movie!! at first i wanted to do a live reaction kinda thing, except that wouldn’t work because i'd have to reblog every entry and hiding every single part under a "read more" would be not only tedious, but i'm not even sure if it's possible lol

so instead have a collection of my thoughts here! (spoiler warning, duh)

first of all: the art style. there’s something strangely nostalgic about it. it feels like that is what my mental storyboards as a kid would have looked like, had i been into animating back then. or at least that would have been close to the style i would have liked to emulate.

the explosions looking like violent scribbles is just so 😩🤌♥ chef's kiss, truly. there's something about the art in general that just moves in such a particular way and holds a certain weight and volume,, it feels like cardboard and clay and crayons and the piles upon piles of coloured pencils i used to have as a kid and how the wooden pencil drawer smelled. i'm such a fan of this style i’M obsessed o(-<

in the intro shots for the turtles, raph licking his sai blades is so extra and i love him for that lmao

for some reason i completely forgot they cast jackie chan as splinter and tbh idk how to feel about it? no hate towards him; i just don't think voice acting is his strong suit

meanwhile i'm looooving mikey's voice. also leo's beacuse, well first of all, i am a leo girlie (gender neutral) through and through so i would have loved all aspects of him no matter what. but his voice actor is gumball's i believe? and that's one of my comfort shows 🥺 i just love him sm

this little donnie is sending me, i- 🤣

superfly's theme reminds me of miguel's for some reason? 😂 and i'm here for it ahahh

the whole watermelon scene lmaoo teeangers being teenagers, finally

aaaand here comes the probably forced romance subplot 😅😅 (more on that later)

the whole fighting scene in the workshop tinted in red? ugh 10/10

ok so, april: i really like how they met. i like her design, her voice and her whole vibe. the whole puking jokes were a little too much for me; personally im not a fan of fart or puke jokes because, well, i’m not a 12yo boy (looking at you seth rogen) but all in all i really liked this rendition of april. it sucks tho that the turtles got a snazzy outfit by the end, both for school and for prom, but april’s clothes always remained the same. would have loved to see what she wore to prom!

the gen z lingo and references: …i mean, i guess it makes sense? i just don’t know how well it will age xD the references to end game and all were fun but, again, will someone in 15 years understand what they meant? will someone in 15 years know what rizz is?

changing the topic, the way eyeballs are rendered??? hello?? they’re so expressive and shiny and i lowkey wanna lick them ok

the chris pine cutout actually made me choke on my food from both surprise and laughter jhdfkjashdf

oookay so. superfly and his gang. first of all when the gecko talked i went like hey is that ant-man? lmao i love all the designs and ice cube as the villain works?? im not mad?? lol now, his plan however... sigh, my guy. killing all humans aside, have you maybe thought that if you turn every single animal and insect into a mutant, the whole ecosystem would all but collapse? there will be no planet left to belittle the humans on (:

"he'll run out of cars eventually" / *looks at parking* / “oh, c’mon!” lmaoo 😂 this joke was excellent

so, back to the forced romance thing. look i get it, they needed a reason to help out april to get the plot going. and if leo said it, then the rest would follow. i get that. but throughout the whole movie, aside from like his brothers elbowing his side knowingly, there’s no more allusion to anything? and then only at the veeeery end, he asks her out and she says yes, so i was like “oh okay so that’s the payoff then. took long enough” but then when they’re dancing she rhetorically asks if they’re just doing this as friends and 😐 maybe this is just my aroace self projecting but,, if you’re gonna use romance/romantic interest as a catalyst (lame tbh), at least be consequent about it?? if you (the writers) didn’t have the intention to explore the relationship, then leave it altogether? again, this is just my aroace opinion,, i can’t relate so i don’t understand. (which i know seems contradictory given my uh, repertoire of fics lmao) personally i would have preferred a different reason for them to helping out april, and having them all just be besties by the end, which they ended up being anyway

so, to sum it all up. it’s a story we’ve seen a hundred times, so there was really nothing new to it. the plot was okay,, the biggest thing that “bothered” me was superfly’s whole extermination thing making no sense, technically. but other than that, my eyes and ears were having an absolute feast. a very enjoyable film all in all. when we got rottmnt, i was like “oh finally an iteration of the teenage mutant ninja turtles where they’re actually teenagers” but scratch that. mutant mayhem is the most teenager one, and i loved them for that. time will tell how the jokes will age but yeah, the way they were depicted was definitely my favourite thing about the film aside from the art style.

have you guys seen it? what are your thoughts? lemme know :D feel free to comment here or send in some asks!

[colorful-white-ideas]

Little rant about the Skarsgårds and the Met gala.

The gala was yesterday and Alex was invited. Excited I looked for his outfit and like previous years he wore a suit.

It look very nice , very sharp, but it was just a plain suit again.

It's a hard contrast when you see some of the other looks ( this year men really served better than years prior)

For a guy who's use to do things like this for fun in red carpets , I was hoping for something more elaborated.

And lets not forget about our Billy he was invited once to the met gala in 2017 and , because the apple don't fall far from the tree, he also wore a suit. A grey one.

One would think that by being the It boy of the year ( *chuckle* ) he would have chosen something more colorful or a little bit extravagant but no. He -as Alex- looked handsome but meh.

Will he ever get an invitation again?

If he gets one will he go? Who knows at this point.

Anyway now my beting goes all to Valter. Dude, idk if you will read this, I just want to say that if you end up having your big break and get invited to the Met one day , my guy, make us proud and take my breath away with good fitted look that also follows the theme. Put the Skarsgård name on the top 25 best dressed of Vanity Fair. I believe in you.

[rainyfestivalsweets]

11/22/22 wt 248.4

OK what do I want to say about yesterday.

I went to the fellowship dinner, it was good.

I wore an outfit I was not super comfortable with as it shows my shape.

I had invited lots of people to this thing, but no one showed up.

There was a wide variety of food (which I did not take a picture of)(social weird).

I visited with a couple of ladies that I might be becoming friends with now? 🫨 They really seemed awesome. Intelligent women!

My self evaluation is: mostly good WITH TWEAKS NEEDED FOR FUTURE.

I had one plate of the meal. Heavy on the protein, avoided the fried chicken, took the broccoli. Initially took 1 little mini cake.

The tweaks needed:

To quote Alan Roberts, I just need to quit eating so fucking much.

I was socially uncomfortable, and I think I kept going back for this or that to keep busy while I was visiting with new people.

Someone mentioned there was pecan pie, and I realized that I had missed the whole dessert table. I grabbed a piece of pie and 2 cookies.

And eventually went back for more little cakes.

So that is my note to myself. Have the pie, but next time, have a smaller slice. No cookies. No extra cakes. One and done, bitch.

Also, take the nomorbidity before dinner. Am thinking of actually moving it to earlier in the day.

Other note: stop MF shopping. No fucking more. Gawd. The debt you accrue is in fucking sane.

Posting a pic on here is terrifying to me, as I want to stay anonymous. But it is pushing outside my social comfort zone, which I am working on.

I had one where I edited out my face and a bunch of detrius in the background, but idk what happened. I clicked save, and it disappeared, like it just doesn't show up when I try to add pics. I did feel super hot. Even if people could see my shape and my giant insecurity of my giant belly. I think this shirt had a flattering fit, tho. So! wth, here is a closer pick of the top, too.

Yes, I mixed a print and a plaid. And I think this is my first time wearing those boots. I wore a white leather jacket and a teal crossbody purse.

Only 1 half hour workout yesterday, the fit class at work, low impact cardio. But I was a holy terror with cleaning, especially for such a busy day, which actually needed to be done. My legs are still tender from Saturdays workout, so I am not going to chide myself.

The Thesis blend of the day was: Confidence.

I remarked to my sister that I was confident I was getting shit done!

It was an incredibly good feeling to have energy and motivation to do *anything*

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

Do we really know he was at the French open though? Steph’s outfit in the pics (on his+Tim’s story) looks like the same outfit he wore to the game in Budapest the other day so people on twt are speculating that they were taken then, not yesterday. If that’s the case, maybe Tim wasn’t at the French open at all? Idk let me know if I’m missing something, I could 100% be wrong!!

Wow, now I'm not sure, anon. I just assumed he was? Maybe he wasn't and he did return with her?

[overturetoanadventure]

Yesterday I kayaked at a state park that was a four hour drive, one way, with some friends to celebrate my upcoming birthday. The space was so so so beautiful. It felt really nice to see different friends get along well! Our music tastes didn’t align as a group but we made it work (and I think all four of us are a bit too polite (there’s a better word but not wanting to think hard rn) and after garnering reactions from the first run of songs, we started asking to skip stuff that was already created by the Spotify blend lol). While on the river, we came across a mom and her daughter; the daughter got lots of anxiety halfway into the trip as they floated along. The mom asked us if we know how much longer it would be for them to reach the next drop off point and how they could arrive quicker. I was on a tandem kayak with one of the friends and we offered to tie the rope connecting their tubes together to the back of our kayak. They then joined us for the remainder of the kayak trip. It felt so nice to be able to help them!! Then, after we returned our paddles and vests, we changed and we’re eating snacks while gathered around the trunk. There was a lady who parked next to us that i had seen on the river that wore such a cute outfit and had killer eyeliner so I commented on her makeup! She had brought her own kayak and was struggling to put it on top of the car so we offered to help her. It made me remember the mom conversing with another guy on a tube we came across in which she remarked that she was going to ask him for help but he was too far ahead and instead got there with girl power. Girls/women really do rock :-) I would like to go back there with a full day lined up so that we can go tubing after we kayak as well!! I woke up today in such a great mood thanks to the joy from yesterday!!

I watched memoirs of a geisha with a dear friend yesterday. Before we began the movie my mom called and I can’t remember but some part of our conversation pissed me off and i felt irritated even after ending the call but I was trying really hard to keep those feelings internal and enjoy the movie but she asked if I just wanted her to leave and I felt really bad so I tried to do a lil meditation inside my head and it really did help!! The movie was really good! I remember annotating my copy of the book back in the summer after I graduated high school and rereading it through my freshman semester too so I vaguely remembered the plot but I’m glad that she ended up with the chairman in the end. I’ll miss hanging out like this and am trying to somehow store the shared happiness away for when I’ll, no doubt, miss her presence and affection after she lives abroad. Neither of us are big texters; I do much better with in person communication so distance is a big issue for me unfortunately. Proximity is also the largest factor in relationships which is backed by research.

Moving on, ended the night with watching the finale of the last of us and then dissecting it as a group and sharing our thoughts. I think I would’ve done the same exact thing as Joel, and also like the callback to that ‘crazy’ lady who was hunting Henry bc he had sold out her brother to fedra for medication for his own little brother in the whole ‘what lengths are you willing to go to for your loved ones, even if that’s not what they would want for you to do’ as her brother would have likely forgiven Henry were he in that situation and similarly, though idk about life ending brain surgery for a potential cure but Ellie clearly wanted to go through with working with the fireflies to help find a cure and Joel defies that due to his now accepted role as a parental figure and the associated love and attachment and somewhat manipulation (again not the right word but idc rn) that it entails to parent a child. I was really saddened by the fact that he broke the one constant in their rocky relationship which was trust in honest communication. It’ll be heartbreaking whenever she has to confront with both herself and him that he lied to her about something so important when she tried to offer him an opportunity to come clean.

Also I know the whole ‘I know you say like you me but do you actually hate me’ thing feels overdone as a society and I very much hate that I still have feelings like this about people I’ve been friends with for a little bit if not a few years now. I know for my own self that I go through phases where honestly just being around people is too much and interacting often feels overwhelming and I start to get annoyed by them and that it’s not actually personal. I’m trying to tell myself that if I am capable of feeling this way but still loving those people at the end of the day, then I should be okay with sitting with the idea of my friends being annoyed by or disliking me sometimes. But like idk what’s wrong with me but I’m like well if you don’t like me then I feel that im worth less. It’s really annoying being aware of my people pleasing tendencies too because I constantly question whether im actually a kind person or if my kindness in any situation is driven by the need to be liked. I know this goes back to childhood trauma and blah blah blah but like I’ve already talked this shit through in therapy twice can’t I just be a stupid airhead that’s confident in herself and her relationships. It feels gross to want constant validation. Fuck.

Oh. Also??? My face and neck, and especially the bottom area of the skin under my eyes feels so dry and tight and itchy. It’s all a bit red and my neck is very splotchy. I can’t discern if this is the work of allergies bc I’d never experienced allergic reactions (or was aware of it at least) before or if I somehow went too hard on the retinol?? And I’ve been slathering my skin in like three layers of different moisturizers without drying my face even after I wash it but no dice. I might just have to buy Zyrtec or Benadryl tomorrow and see if it helps. The power of deductive reasoning to the rescue.

[boredymcbored]

Okay Let's

journal!

I saw a post of my homie Brandon (RIP) and he talked about how journaling helped him. Tumblr is my journal so let's talk it out!

Got flaked today by college friends. We were supposed to go to a lounge to hang out but no one showed but moi. It's okay. I know life is a bitch and we still have tomorrow. Plus I like the outfit I wore sooooo put it back on??? Absolutely.

Now I'm at a bar with trivia, the Olympics and the NFL preseason going on all around me. I have a bartender here that's totally trying hit on me while complaining about getting dumped and cool my guy but.. no. I'm more interested in the lady who handed out my food.

But am I really tho?

Honestly, I wasn't kidding about my infatuation blindness. Right now, ol girl has got me SPRUNG. Maybe the capital letters is a lot but.. yeah. I'm at the point to where people are hot and I mighttt flirt back a lil but... Are they really even close to her?

No. They aren't.

She knows how to make me laugh, she knows when to step in and be just annoying enough, she knows when to be sweet. She hangs out in my streams like me when I'm sprung off someone (hours at a time) but also pretends to be aloof to get a rise off of me (idk why but I love that shit). She's fine AF, I love me a talented mf and she's soooooooo funny.

And even though I'm still cautious; she could have anyone she wants, she's got fuckboi energy (being real), does she know what she wants?? She's.. shown signs that it could be more. The hours around, the fact she pleaded for a chance with me, the fact we could've fucked this out already if that's really what she only wanted, trying to win me over after fuckin up before, the kryptonite message. Maybe, just maybe, she's a lil sprung too?

But I've gotten my hopes up 3 many times before only for shit to pan out from it so I'm not buying into much until *handwave*. Idk what the wave means. We have some facetime chats? I go to Cali? We just keep doing whatever this is???

Idk.

It's all new.

And I'd hate for this to be the only thing I journal about but since I verbalized a lot of my pursuit of sport journalism thoughts out, I'll just say, the clay is being molded. Into what I always a question mark until the piece feels done but... It's happening. Something is anyway lol.

Finishing this off how it started, I cried looking back at some Brandon stuff yesterday. He still lives on in my thoughts even if his spirit has crossed onto the other side. Mainly looking at his pictures and realizing we have shirts that are almost exactly the same. And I cried thinking about the fact I'll never be able to say I rocked it better than he did. And he'd brush that shit off and be stupid n stuff. Man.

Experiencing loss young, loss in general, gets to you. Idk my friend group is close to processing half of this shit. I know we haven't.

I'm remembering how to find joy again after that. Live in my body again. Remember that the world is about our connections we've made and will continue to make along the way. This summer has really been abiut reconnecting to that and grounding myself. And I haven't been perfect about it, but there's no such thing. I do what I can. And it's panning out good for me so far.

But damn nigga that's why I wanted to hang with my college homies tonight!!! Lmaoooo. But, lord willing, there more days. And I'll try to cherish what's in front of me, if we do or don't do anything again.

There's a lot of beauty and peace in this world. If you allow yourself to live in it.

[destinyc1020]

Not you Destiny but I keep seeing how (of course from hater) how disrespectful it was that Z upstage the other women and it was reveling. Yeah her ass and boobs were out but not really. She wore a nude body suit so it was just an illusion. What about Dakota at the Madam Wen premier when her ass and boobs was out and the body suit she work show her camel toe? No one said it was disrespectful. I am sorry but Z is a fashion icon. People expect her to be great and called her out when she isn’t. But she has to tone it down for others? Who is going to petty her when others look better than her? That is my problem like she have to think of other (it is not that serious) but if let say Anya was pulling this they will laugh in Z face. No one is laughing at the casts except Tim because of his tshirt. Everyone think the other women was bringing it as well.

Thanks Anon for you input. 😊

Okay, I'm gonna put this under a disclaimer cuz.... I'm just being honest lol....

***WARNING!!! UNPOPULAR OPINION COMING THROUGH!!!***

Honestly? I wasn't really a fan of Dakota's look on the red carpet for Madame Web either tbh....(I'm just not really a fan of women OR men showing up in public in their underwear lol 😆 and I wish that CRINGE trend would just DIE already 🙄) Not everyone can pull off that look, and imo, it's not for everyone OR every event. And imo, the dress on Dakota was ugly. It was just cool to see her outfit was on theme. But still.....

You have to read the room. Maybe for the VMAs or smthg that dress would have been fine.... but your FILM premiere?? Idk 🥴

Re: Z....

I know Z was wearing a nude body suit underneath lol, but it is the illusion that was seen, and we all know that she looked naked in that suit lol. 😅 I think the booty @$$ being out kinda bothered me more than the boobies being out tbh.

It was def a serve... I'll give her that...I just don't know if I would have worn that to this type of event. That's just mho though. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I kinda feel like Law uses her as his own little life-sized dress-up Barbie doll lol 😆

I didn't hate the look at all! I posted it a lot yesterday lol... I just think it was probably better for a photoshoot or smthg.

I know I'll get pelted with tomatoes for saying all of this, but I'm just being honest about my thoughts. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[mellow-worlds]

I haven't eaten in 12 hours. Before that I didn't eat in 62 hours. Before that I didn't eat in 42 hours. I won't eat for another 18 hours.

It's exciting, thinking about how little I've eaten. And it's exciting seeing the number on the scale drop. I really, really enjoy that. But it's just waterweight so I'll have to keep going.

I've eaten a little more than 600 kcals this morning. Yeah, I started logging calories again and I'm SO glad I did. I felt really weird when eating. I felt jittery. It makes me feel like I could've kept on going longer. I want to never eat again but this is not sustainable. I like not even feeling hungry. Which I am rn but yk, I felt weirdly not hungry during the last fast.

I'm so excited!

Yesterday evening when laying in bed L said that my body is so cold because I don't consume enough calories to keep myself warm. He's said that maybe 2 times before. He also said that he thinks I have a really great body and that he never thought I was too fat and that I could eat however much I wanted without even worrying, well, up to a certain point because then I'd probably die, he said. He was really sweet! And in the kitchen this morning he said that other girls are probably jealous, well, they'd be if they knew what great hips I have. It's so sweet of him! And I feel bad for like idk feeling this way, still, wanting to be impossibly skinny. And idk what is prompting me to be like that. GEnerally my life is good. I'm doing ok at uni and I am meeting my friends a lot and I'm seeing L and I love him and I think he loves me. Somehow, whenever I'm alone, I feel very sad. I feel very low and I feel tired, and I don't ever really know what to do because I don't feel like doing anything.

I love thinking about how sweet L is. It feels like I never know what to do with myself when I'm not with L.

I'm really cold and I'm wearing 3 upper layers and the heater is on. Anyway, I should go exervise and then shower. I will. Hopefully. Really I just want to lay in bed.

I drew a little today. It keeps me from thinking about food and like I said, I was kinda hungry today. Still am. Am freezing. I can't wait for being warm in summer. I like being cold though, it makes me think about the extra calories I'm burning. One can die from staying in 30°C water for too long. I don't even want to die rn, I don't think. Thinking about L keeps me from wanting to die.

I tihnk we're in a really good place in our relationship. Yesterday the s*x was really good. He actually choked me while doing it. Later we switched roles. I still feel weird afterwards. But it's fine! He really seems to like it. And I really like it when he's aggressive with me.

Oh btw I wore the greatest outfit yesterday to the jazzclub. LOVED IT. Anyway byeee I'll workout now

[runninguplenorahills]

What is your fashion style? What would be a dream wardrobe?

Fantastic question because I actually wore THE coolest outfit yesterday! And I mean I was honestly so happy with what I was wearing like I haven’t been in a while!

My style is definitely pretty basic. I love jeans though I don’t have a lot of them. My favorite jeans are these mid/low rise dark denim bell bottoms and I’m definitely planning on buying more like those. I adore flannels and oversized jackets which I all get from my dad’s wardrobe along with sweaters and scarfs and I’ve been going to flea markets more often lately. I got a big, chunky, colorful, knitted sweater for only 5€!! And a cropped, pink, knit sweater for only 4€! I also get a lot of old clothes from one of my mom’s friends and while most of it isn’t really my cup of tea there are some gems sometimes haha.

I think most of my clothes are brown and white? Definitely a lot of those. And black turtlenecks I own in abundance. I also have a lot of pretty colorful things though. I have a lot of things in general and I’m definitely planning on selling some in the near future as well, but my overall problem with my wardrobe is that I have cool things that look cool on their own but idk how to combine them 🥶.

I’m almost never satisfied with what im wearing and it’s trying. I do have some outfits that I really like though. I also just got two new pears of sneakers and they’ll definitely make me feel good in outfits that I haven’t felt good in for some time again!!! I actually have these white corduroy pants which don’t go all the way down to my feet. They’re supposed to be like that but I sometimes feel like I’m wearing pants that are too short lmao. My vans really gave me that feeling and while the pants looked better with my Docs it just didn’t feel right either. So the first thing I did after I bought converse was trying those pants on with them and man, they look great! Absolutely perfect. I’ll definitely wear them all the time now :)).

As for my dream wardrobe, I’m not really sure what would look like. A ton of blue jeans that fit perfectly would be great though.

[nostalgiaispeace]

2333.

How often do you wear necklaces? 📿   everyday

Would you rather wear a bracelet or a necklace? 📿   necklace

Do you own a coral sweater?   No

Which name do you like best: Emily, Ellery, or Eliana?   Emily

What season were you born in?   Winter

What season is your favorite? Winter

When was the last time you had a donut? 🍩   I don’t even remember

Which spelling do you like better: Jillian or Gillian?   Gillian.

Have you ever wondered how the country of Ireland got its name? 🇮🇪   can’t say that I have.

Which name do you like best for a girl: Harmony, Harper, Harlow, Harvest, or Harley?   Harper

What is your favorite shade of green? 💚 really dark green

What is your least favorite shade of green? 🫒   bright green

Which name do you like best for a girl: Bianca, Brogan, or Briar?   none of those

….how about out of these: Carly, Carmen, or Carlotta?   Carmen

Which name do you like better: Jasmine or Yasmin?   neither

Did you used to wish that you could own some of the same outfits as your dolls?   i did, yeah

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down?   down

What is your favorite shade of blue? 💙   like a teal

What is your least favorite shade of blue?   light blue

Would you rather ride a motorcycle 🏍️ or a regular bicycle 🚴?   Neither

What is the name of one island you have vacationed on? 🏝️   none

Which one-syllable girl’s name do you like best: Claire, Cove, Dawn, Rose, or Jade?   Rose

When was the last time you wore leggings?   I don’t even know

What is your most severe allergy? 🤧 apples

Do you own a purple sweater?   no

How often do you create surveys?   never

What is one game you have cheated on? I don’t recall

Do you believe it’s ever ok to cheat on a test? 📝   no

Have you ever cheated on a test? 📝   yeah lol

What’s your favorite song by Miley Cyrus? I don’t like her music

What was the last song you listened to on repeat?   Idk

What was the best part of your day today (or yesterday)?   just being with my daughter

How often do you wear earrings?   everyday

Have you ever worn a stuffed animal at an age guessing booth? 🧸   no

What is something you own that you’ve had since you were in high school? literally so many things but mostly books

What year did you join Facebook?   2008

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair?   blonde

Name three countries you have no desire to visit.   asian countries

What is one thing most people seem to like the smell of, but you don’t?   idk

Have you ever been scammed?   yeah

Are you smart? 🧠   yeah i guess so.

What color is your dresser?   black

If applicable, what color was the dress you wore to your very first Homecoming Dance? 💃 I never went

When was the last time you purchased something from a bakery? 🧁 idk.

….and what was it that you purchased? –

What is your computer’s desktop background?   ellie from the last of us

When was the last time you used washi tape, and what did you use it for?   never

List three big cities you have visited and would love to visit again.   nyc and orlando

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with your life?   7

What brings you joy? my daughter and books

What’s your most cherished memory?   i literally have so many

Do you believe in God? Why or why not?   no; its complicated

Were you named after anyone, and if so, who?   Nope.

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? 📝   idk

Which spelling do you use for the color: gray or grey?   Grey

Who has hurt you the most?   samantha

Who or what is your happy place?   hogwarts

If you could erase horrible memories, what memory would you erase?   lol so many

When was the last time you cried?   today when watching succession

If you could go anywhere in the world right now (all expenses paid), where would you go?   orlando

How do you feel at the moment?   tired

Do you believe that you’re a strong person?   yes

What’s your biggest dream? To own a house and be content

Paintings or digital pictures?   Both

Are you scared to love?   no

What’s your biggest fear? Death of someone i love

Are you afraid of heights?   Yes.

Are you in love?   yes

Do you prefer a bright or dark room?   I prefer light

Have you ever danced in the rain? ☔️ 💃   yes

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?   with my mom

Have you ever cried because you were so happy?   yes

Books or movies? books