#idk i might slap another one of my ocs on here at some point too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

szynkaaa · 4 years ago

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I more or less watched The Boy!!! And by watching, I mean I skipped more or less through the jump scare parts because I cannot do horror movies at all. I haven’t watched one since 2015 and The Boy was like the first horror movie after five years

Full disclosure, the ONLY reason I started watching the movie was because someone posted a gif of Greta standing close to Brahms who was all sweaty and breathing heavily n I was like “oh shit who dat he hot” and here I am

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

I did some digging for interviews and generally what people have been saying about the movie, took some screenshots from youtube to put my thoughts and musing together too!

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

So first of all, let’s start with a low resolution photo I found on IG of James Russell without mask:

which brings me to my first musing/thought/question?

It’s all under the cut, very screenshot and text heavy, you can find more Brahms drawing at the bottom though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So at the end of the movie, we are shown a Brahms with a broken mask and his face being burned, indicating that he was in fact in the fire.

I assumed first that the fire was created by the parents to fake their sons death and then he had to live hidden inside the walls?

But I’ve also heard apparently it was Brahms who set the fire to fake his own death or maybe an eight years old kid really was trying to burn himself down??

My other theory is that his parents made the fire and tried to kill Brahms and it did burn him but he survived, and the parents didn’t wanna go to jail sooo to hide everything they made their son live in the walls

i mean the responsible thing would be to turn their kid in and have him treated and stuff;;; listened to a murder podcast about two cases where kids murdered enough kids and how they are doing now interesting read Brahms made me think of those two cases

I also do not think that the previous nannies were killed. Like, c’mon. You’d report a person missing and sooner or later it would go back to the Heelshire mansion and if the body counts piles up? Can’t look good and I doubt that the Heelshire wants the police investigating them close up.

Also, when the mom was like “He’s chosen you if you’ll have him” to Greta? Is it just me or the wording or does it sound like a marriage proposal/arrangement xD

Brahms is a brat and he sees the people around him as his possession or to toy around. But I also do think that he has some abandonment issues but not in the sad tragic kind of way lmao. Even if he was the one controlling and manipulating his parents from behind-the-scene (quite literally I suppose?), he was still told as a kid to live in hiding and that no one can know he is alive. I don’t know much about the human brain, but I can imagine how damaging that must be to his mental growth and set him back in some way? We don’t know too much about his relationship with his parents - but I assume that he must have still loved them in his own twisted way. Can’t imagine that he would have been indifferent about his parents suicide.

The scene before Greta manages to back out - first he uses the child voice to beg her to come back and promises he will be good. That’s his manipulating Greta, but when that doesn’t work and she tries harder to open the door, he becomes more desperate to keep her there and then completely loses his temper and threatens to kill Malcolm if she doesn’t return. I’m pretty sure homeboy would have killed him anyway. And then later when she returns and he is all heavy breathing and smelling her hair and then jumps up when she shouts Brahms? Idk I def think there is some sort of abandonment issue going on.

I don’t think he is a child stuck in a man’s body or manchild or whatever. I think that he does know how to take care of himself - but he just chooses to manipulate people with the facade of a kid to do his bidding and cater to his needs.

Anywhomst, but clearly Brahms is also a very manipulative and controlling person based, based on how the mother was reacting on the destroyed bedroom, she really seemed to be at the end of her wits and just breaking down with her “you promised you’d be good”. It was very heartbreaking to watch and also scary because it really makes you realize just how much power Brahms holds over them?? idk maybe it was just me.

Next point: the CGI mask + the burns

So according to some interviews with the director stated that at the first test streaming, people weren’t really scared of Brahms because he was too handsome so they had to slap a mask over his face. The face was done after everything was filmed. I’m thinking the face burns were also added post-production when they were adding the cgi mask. Otherwise, James would have needed to go through the makeup department for some wicked face burns and it would have been visible during the filming and test screening too? Which would imply that at first the fire was supposed to be just a cover story that their son is dead and it was changed later

Observation/thoughts on Brahms Heelshire

Love how he stands there with his hands behind his back and then nods when Greta tells him to go under the cover

James Russell is 191cm tall. So like. Brahms is really fucking tall. But I notice that most of the time he stands with a slight hunch. Could be due to him crawling through the walls and crawling out of places that requires him to do a lot of crouching. His bed in his hideout made me really sad, I’ll get to it later.

Since James didn’t get many lines in the ten minutes that he appeared, I do think that his eyes did all the acting. They stand out even more with the mask on, there is just this crazy look on it. I also noticed during my rewatch that he doesn’t seem to blink much or at all.

Oh yeah, he also peeped on Greta and Malcolm making out on the bed and then cockblocked them. We been knowing that he made a Greta doll and very likely jerked off to it. We also been knowing that he very very very likely wanted to bone Greta at the goodnight kiss scene still waiting for the maskeless kiss scene gimme gimme. I also highly doubt that Brahms has much first-hand experience with kissing n stuff. High key thinking he was trying to do copy Malcolm and do what he observed lmao

When I first watched the scene, I assumed that the hole behind the mirror has always been and it’s just another one of the hidden passages Brahms to slip in and out, but now that I’m looking at the shape of the holes, it seems to me more like the mirror and brick wall were broken at the same time?? If that is the case holy shit boy is s t r o n g. I mean, he also punched through the closet door like no big deal so really what have the parents been feeding him.

I’m also leaning toward the fact that he ran there because Greta screamed loudly. I don’t think he was in the room as them when everything went down there, it seemed more like he heard the scream and had to nyoomed over and then punched a way through to get out of the wall. And then went on to attack Cole. He must have known that Greta wanted Cole gone, since that what she whispered to the doll before going to bed.

Tbh, I fully expected him to murder Cole in his sleep, but Brahms wrote a warning message in blood to tell him to get out soooooo like. Cole you were warned and now you gotta live with the consequences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Brahm’s sleeping corner

This scene was shown at the end after Greta and Malcolm escaped. We also see them briefly during the part where Greta and Malcolm are trying to find a way out and stumbled into Brahms’ hideout. I’m not sure why the rules are slapped on the walls. It seems to me that Brahms is very very very set on that the rules / routine should be followed. In the movie, he called Greta and suggested to her that she should follow the rules, to which she then started doing it.

I headcanon that that’s the routine that he grew up with as a kid and it’s just very very very very very hard to break out of it - not that he is trying to break the routine.

I’m failing to find a good way to put my thoughts into words, but I guess the rules and routine is sort of his coping mechanism?

I suppose if you had an OC that you ship Brahms with and want to change stuff around the house, the OC would have to very slowly introduce new rules and routines. Baby steps, yknow.

Brahms has a violin hanging there! Honestly I would be surprised if Brahms didn’t know how to play at least one instrument. The family also has an old ass piano/clavichord (?) and Brahms loves classical music soo yeah. Love me a boy who appreciates classical musical hehe

I suppose the egg boxes are there to soundproof the room more - maybe so he can play the violin?

There’s also music sheets hung around his attics, it’s not clear on the screenshots but when you rewatch the scene and shove your face close to the screen. Some are hanging next to the violin and there are some taped on the wall next to his bed and porn too

nice to see he has a fridge and microwave, I was concerned that he wasn’t well fed and that leftovers might not be enough, but then again. Dude is 191 cm so clearly he has been drinking his milk

Didn’t take a screenshot of his vanity, but there is a crocodile magnet stuck to the mirror hehe. I do think that he shaves and stuff, otherwise his beard would be much longer??

We can see more music sheets stuck to a pillar on the right.

Loving the christmas lights that he has hanging there above his bed. It’s cute.

On the shelf he has a bunch of tupperware and empty bowls. Most of hte things are neatly organized. We can also see some books and a pen

There’s some sunlight streaming inside - I do hope that Brahmsy stays warm during winters.

Here we can see more of the food that he has there - there is also a sink but I didn’t snatch a screenshot of it. I think those are potatoes in the pot? Maybe he does know how to cook some basic stuff, I do wonder if he has a functioning kitchen up there. Probably not for fire safety reasons lol

Yall see that thing on the note sheet covered pillar? Ngl, that’s a whole ass aesthetic right there.

He got a few potted plants up there. Took a closer look at them and it seems like they were healthy. So he knows how to take care of plants, which is nice to know I suppose?

Yes, we all know what he was doing with the doll and what the tissue balled up tissue implies. However, has anyone noticed the size of the bed???

If you scroll up a bit to the screenshot of Greta seeing the doll, it looks t i n y. The make shift doll takes up more than half of the space.

Yall. this breaks my heart. Dude is a beanstalk. I’m pretty sure the bed is from when he was a kid shoved by his parents to live inside the wall, does he have to sleep there in his adulthood too???

Even though Brahms strikes me as someone who probably doesn’t sleep much or during normal times, that bed must be so tiny for him. He must be sleeping with his knees bend and shit unable to stretch out :(((

Brahms: is a psychopath that smashed the skull of a girl and very abusive tormented his parents and then Greta Me: omg he needs a bigger bed that poor thing :(((

Brahms’ DIY corner

Ah yes, Brahm’s little DIY/creative corner.

Homeboy got lot of animal traps, cages and taxidermies hanging around, pointing strongly toward that it’s a hobby of it?

Also at the end where we see him fixing up the doll, we can get a better shot at his desk, and I gotta say the threads and stuff are all very nicely organized. Brahms’s table looks more organized than mine does lmao.

So we know he is a crafty boy. Not sure how difficult taxidermy is but I imagine it does take a lot of time to learn? Well he had all the time in the world anyway.

So yeah, that’s a wrap. Congrats if you made it to the bottom of my incoherent thoughts and ramblings, have a bonus drawing of Brahms wearing different masks:

#the ham talks #brahms heelshire #the boy #the boy 2016 #brahms #brahmbling

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atc74 · 5 years ago

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Anything You Can Do

Square(s) Filled: Girl Power for @spnfluffbingo2019

Warnings: playground antics, flirting, fluff, ahhh, IDK, it’s fun! Implied sex as payment (it’s REALLY not what you think)

Summary: Jared opens his man-child mouth and it’s on! It’s a karaoke battle for the ages and the ladies are in it to win it! But, when this crew shows up, there are no losers!

Pairing: Reader x past OC, Rob x Reader, Jensen x Briana

Word Count: 4455

Written for: @spnfluffbingo2019

Beta’d by: @alleiradayne who was crazy enough to support this idea from the beginning and my dear @amanda-teaches, whom I would be lost without.

A/N: I wanted to do something really fun and who of us wouldn’t be up for some of this on a Friday night???!!!! All the songs were painstakingly chosen for reasons. There are also some shameless plugs for my boys Louden Swain.

Also a shout out to my friend Beth @brooksba, who took all the amazing photos found in the graphic below!

It was a rare convention weekend when all the guests showed up on a Friday. The green room was fuller than normal as Jensen, Jared, Rob, Rich, Briana, Kim, Y/N, Ruth and the boys from the band sat around shooting the breeze. The green room always had a relaxed and playful atmosphere and this time was no different.

“Oh come on! You cannot burp the alphabet!” Jared scoffed as Briana picked up a warm soda from the table and opened it.

“Why, cause I’m a girl?” she challenged him and the room exploded with the disbelief of all those in attendance that Jared dare say such a thing to her, or any of the women on the convention circuit.

“Well,” Jared looked around sheepishly, waiting for someone to help him.

“Nope. You’re on your own with this one pal!” Rich slapped him on the back. “You have awakened the beast.”

“I just mean, you’re little and…” Jared tried to come up with another reason. Christ, Gen was going to kill him when he got home.

“I may be little but I am fierce, Jarpad,” Briana grinned and chugged the soda. It wasn’t long before a symphony of belches in the form of the alphabet song erupted from her. “Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you.” She sang as she high fived Kim and Y/N.

“No, no, no. Not this again,” Jensen chuckled, shaking his head.

“Oh yeah! I am so down for this. And this time, a wager perhaps?” Rich went into full on emcee mode. “What do y’all say about a battle for the ages? A karaoke battle, if you will. It is Friday after all.”

“Yesss!” The women shouted.

“Winner picks the losers costume for the next convention?” Rich continued, knowing he had the ladies all in for this. “Fellas? You gonna back down from a challenge?”

“Hell no! I’m in!” Matt Cohen raised his hand.

“Yeah, I’ll do it. I mean, I am a professional,” Rob joined him, making eye contact with Y/N shyly across the room.

“Can’t leave my fearless leader in the wind. I’ll do it,” Mike Borja threw his proverbial hat in the ring, looking at the last three.

“Don’t look at me! I don’t sing!” Jared backed away slowly.

Jensen glanced to Jason, then back to the women, all with shit eating grins on their faces. “I’m probably gonna regret this, but okay. Jason and I are in.”

“Wait, how did I get wrapped into this? I’m not an idiot like Jared!” Jason defended.

“No, but you are a team player buddy and we need you if we’re going to stand a chance,” Jensen replied, looking to Briana with a wink.

“Splendid! The rules are simple. I, and only I, will pick your songs. No one else will know what you are singing but me. Now, go. Be gone. Out damn spot!” Rich grinned ear to ear as he pulled out his phone, making the most epic list of his convention career.

~*~

“Y/N, girl, are you gonna tell him or not?” Briana asked her pointedly when they got to Briana’s room to get ready for the Karaoke Party.

“Yeah, did you see the way he was looking at you?” Kim chimed in.

“You guys, I just ended a really bad relationship and he’s my friend,” Y/N said. “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“Then don’t. Just ruin him for all other women!” Ruth giggled.

“Oh my god Ruthie!” Y/N hid her flushed face behind her hands.

“And may I point out that you didn’t ‘just’ end that relationship. It’s been over for weeks officially,” Kim reminded her.

“And you gotta get back on that horse sometime. No time like the present I say!” Briana laughed.

“Come on, Y/N. You’re an overachiever! Just go out there tonight and be amazing; sing your rock song. This is real life, babe and if you’re lucky, you’ll get a leg up on him and he won’t know what hit him!” Kim encouraged.

“All’s fair in love and war and karaoke battles,” Ruth chirped. “This is how you’ll win the big one, Y/N, ready steady.”

“Okay, okay okay! I get it. Gosh, you all sure know a lot of their songs,” Y/N rolled her eyes as Briana dragged her in the bathroom to curl her hair.

“Aha! You know all the songs, too!” Kim shouted.

“Yeah, yeah,” Y/N smiled at Briana in the mirror.

“You’re gonna knock his socks off,” she smiled back.

~*~

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Friday Night Karaoke! Boy oh boy, do we have a special treat for y’all tonight! During some green room antics earlier, a challenge has been issued,” Rich paused, waiting for the audience to quiet some and let him finish his intro. “Tonight, with you good people as witnesses, will be a battle to battle all battles! The ladies versus the men

of Supernatural will battle it out for bragging rights right here on this stage!!”

The crowd exploded in cheers and applause. Rich drew a slip of paper from the bowl and the first few fans sang their songs to roaring applause. Briana, Kim, Rich, Rob and Matt all joined in on stage for the fun.

“Please may I get a warm welcome for Miss Y/N Y/L/N!” Rich announced.

Y/N walked through the curtain, kissing him lightly on the cheek and whispering in his ear. “I know what you’re doing Rich. I’ll get you back for this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about darlin’. Now go, sing!” Rich shooed her from his side.

The beat started and Y/N started rocking her body with its rhythm. “Yeah!”

“I’m coming up so you better get this party started!

I’m coming up so you better get this party started!

Get this party started on a Friday night

Everybody’s waiting for me to arrive

Sending out the message to all of my friends…”

The crowd was going wild, bouncing and singing along as Y/N worked them into a frenzy with her first song of the evening. If this was any indication of how the night would go, she didn’t care who won, she was having a damn good time, and she made sure the crowd was too as she finished her song.

“Well, well, well, I guess we really got this party started now!” Rich laughed, pulling another name from the bowl.

“Please give it up for Miss Briana Buckmaster!” Rich shouted as Briana walked forward.

Briana took center stage in front of the screen. She was holding her breath, praying Rich didn’t pick something lame. When the screen lit up and the music started, she gave it everything, knowing they had this shit in the bag.

“Step back gonna come at ya fast

I’m driving out of control

And getting ready to crash

Won’t stop shaking up what I can

I serve it up in a shot

So suck it down like a man

So baby yes I know what I am

And no I don’t give a damn

And you’ll be loving it up

Some days I’m a super bitch

Up to my old tricks

But it won’t last forever

Next day I’m your supergirl

Out to save the world

And it keeps gettin’ better…”

From the first word, the crowd was loving it and singing along with her. Jensen watched discreetly from the side of the stage, cursing Jared for opening his gigantic mouth, but loving the view. Man that girl could sing! And the way she moved…mesmerizing, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. It definitely keeps getting better.

Briana finished off her song and Rich stepped up to announce the next name. “You know, Robby, we’ve been doing this for how long? Four, five, sixty years?”

“Oh about sixty I think, from how old I feel at the end of a convention weekend,” Rob quipped, the audience breaking out in laughter.

“And never, in all that time, has this next person ever, ever, graced us with his presence on a Friday night. Did you know that?” Rich asked Rob.

“Never, ever?” Rob repeated.

“Never. So without further ado, please welcome to the karaoke stage for the first time EVER, Mr. Jensen Ackles!” Rich stepped away, letting Jensen saunter on the stage. The crowd was deafening and could not believe that Jensen would not only attend the Karaoke party, but actually participate!

“Thanks buddy. Don’t make me make you regret this,” he chuckled as the music started and he shook his head. He looked to the side and made eye contact with Briana, a knowing grin on her face.

“Revvin’ up your engine

Listen to her howlin’ roar

Metal under tension

Beggin’ you to touch and go

Highway to the danger zone

Ride into the danger zone

Headin’ into twilight

Spreadin’ out her wings tonight

She got you jumpin’ off the track

And shovin’ into overdrive…”

Jensen was never one for karaoke, but loved to sing and did so with everything he had. The song, while not special to him in any way, held a new meaning after tonight. He looked out among the crowd and was energized by them.

“Out along the edges

Always where I burn to be

The further on the edge

The hotter the intensity…”

Jensen closed out his song with vigor, feeding off the fans, much like he does at a Saturday Night Special Concert. He tossed Rich his microphone and practically bounced off backstage.

“Robby, I think you know what I’m going to say,” Rich paused for dramatic effect.

“Rich, I might play God on television, but I don’t know what you’re going to say. I might actually be afraid of what you’re going to say,” Rob turned to face the audience, a knowing look on his face.

“Well Bobbo, we’re gonna turn it up a notch. Please put your dirty little hands together for the one, the only, Miss Kim Rhodes!” Rich roared and the crowd went nuts. Kim ran out onto the stage, a smile splitting her face from ear to ear. She was always a fan favorite at karaoke and Rich knew with the song he picked, this would be no different.

As soon as the music started, Kim threw her arms in the air and started stomping her feet along with the beat.

“County road two thirty-three under my feet

Nothin’ on this white rock but little ol’ me

I’ve got two miles till he makes bail

And if I’m right, we’re headed straight for hell

I’m goin’ home, gonna load my shotgun

Wait by the door, and light a cigarette

If he wants a fight, well, now he’s got one

And he ain’t seen me crazy yet

He slapped my face, and he shook me like a rag doll

Don’t that sound like a real man?

I’m going to show him what little girls are made of

Gunpowder and lead…”

“Come on! I can’t hear you!” Kim screamed. “Let’s make sure everyone knows we’re having a fucking good time tonight!”

“Well, it’s half past ten, another six-pack in

And I can feel the rumble like the cold black wind

He pulls in the drive, the gravel flies

He don’t know what’s waiting here this time

I’m goin’ home, gonna load my shotgun

Wait by the door, and light a cigarette

If he wants a fight, well, now he’s got one

And he ain’t seen me crazy yet

He slapped my face, and he shook me like a rag doll

Don’t that sound like a real man?

I’m going to show him what little girls are made of

Gunpowder and lead…”

The decibels were so high, it was a miracle anyone could hear anything after Kim finished, whipping the crowd into an even higher gear.

“Well, Kim really knows how to put on a show doesn’t she? You think she gets that from Zach and Cody?” Rich turned to Rob, who could only shake his head at his friend.

“I will end you Speight,” Kim’s voice carried through the PA system.

“Well Bobbo, I guess it’s your turn!” Rich quickly got back to business.

“Well this should be fun,” Rob commented, waiting somewhat awkwardly for the music to queue.

Now, the Black Crowes were a good band, a great band, but Rob wasn’t sure if this was the kind of message he wanted to send. But he undoubtedly knew it was exactly the message Rich wanted him to send.

“Baby here I am

I’m the man on the scene

I can give you what you want

But you gotta’ come home with me

“Girl, you have no idea how into you he is,” Briana cooed, her red lips just inches from Y/N’s flushed cheeks. “I couldn’t have picked a better song myself.” She just smiled, throwing her arm over her friend’s shoulders as she watched Rob work his magic on the crowd, and Y/N.

I have got some good old lovin’

And I got some more in store

When I get through throwin’ it on

You gotta’ come back for more

Boys will come along a dime by the dozen

That ain’t nothing but ten cent lovin’

Pretty little thing, let me light your candle

‘Cause mama I’m sure hard to handle now, yessir'am

Action speaks louder than words

And I’m a man of great experience

I know you’ve got another man

But I can love you better than him

At first Rob felt dirty singing this, knowing Richard’s intent behind it, but by the end, stealing glances at Y/N throughout the song, Rob threw caution to the wind. He ran to the side of the stage and sang directly to her. It was no secret to everyone that Rob had a giant crush on her. It was only lost on her. Maybe he could get her to notice.

Take my hand don’t be afraid

I’m gonna prove every word I say

I’m advertising love for free

So you can place your ad with me

Boys will come along a dime by the dozen

That ain’t nothing but ten cent lovin’

Pretty little thing, let me light your candle

'Cause mama I’m sure hard to handle now, yessir'am…”

Y/N was blushing furiously, her mouth agape as Kim and Bri led her backstage for her next song. She looked like she could use a stiff drink. Or two. Ruthie was headed out just as they walked in. She winked at Y/N and skipped behind the curtain as Rich called her name.

Ruth was a great entertainer and sang a fun filled rendition of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, getting the whole crowd involved, even pulling a few fans up on the stage. Mike Borja even joined the fun, then followed it up with ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man. The crowd went wild for Matt Cohen as usual when he came out rapping Macklemore’s Can’t Hold Us like a beast and Jason slowed it down a bit with Tom Petty’s I Won’t Back Down.

“We’ve got a few more songs for you good people tonight and I know I appreciate you letting these fools take over your karaoke party. Whaddya say we get Jensen back out here?” Rich addressed the screaming fans and it got even louder when Jensen made his way back through the curtain. “Oh Ackles, you’re gonna love this one!”

Jensen gave everybody the most epic bitch face that ever bitched when he realized what song was playing. But, ever the consummate performer, he rolled with it and knocked it out of the park in a way that only Jensen can do.

This hit, that ice cold

Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold

This one for them hood girls

Them good girls straight masterpieces

Stylin’, wilin’, livin’ it up in the city

Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent

Gotta kiss myself, I’m so pretty

I’m too hot (hot damn)

Called a police and a fireman

I’m too hot (hot damn)

Make a dragon wanna retire man

I’m too hot (hot damn)

Say my name you know who I am

I’m too hot (hot damn)

And my band 'bout that money, break it down

Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)

'Cause uptown funk gon’ give it to you

Saturday night and we in the spot

Don’t believe me just watch (come on)

Briana watched from the wings, her skin heating up as she watched Jensen dance his dorky self across the stage, high-fiving fans, slapping Rich on the ass and stealing Borja’s hat. He could never pretend to be grumpy for long, and she got the feeling he was loving the whole experience and getting closer to the fans that the normal concert allows.

Before we leave

Lemme tell y'all a lil’ something

Uptown funk you up

Uptown funk you up uh

I said uptown funk you up

Uptown funk you up

“You better go jump on that!” Kim pushed her out onto the stage just as Jensen made his way over to where they were standing. Briana stumbled right into Jensen, but he easily caught her with one strong arm and pulled her with him to center stage. Briana was never a shy one and she wasted no time doing her worst as Jensen finished the song out, his eyes never leaving her grinding body on the stage next to him.

Come on, dance, jump on it

If you sexy then flaunt it

If you freaky then own it

Don’t brag about it, come show me

Come on, dance

Jump on it

If you sexy then flaunt it

Well it’s Saturday night and we in the spot

Don’t believe me just watch come on!

“Well that was incredible wasn’t it? Watching two of the world’s most beautiful people get their freak on in front of a couple hundred people? But damn if it wasn’t a good time!” Rich laughed, his body rolling forward as Jensen and Briana made their way off stage. “Oh no Miss Buckmaster! You get that fine ass back here! Might as well bring him with.”

“Richie, can I at least pick?” Briana pouted, standing close enough so only RIch could hear her.

“Oh no sweet cheeks! The whole idea was for me to pick the songs!” Rich reminded her. “Besides, the ladies are totally killing it!”

“Yeah, we are!” she smiled. “Fine. Let’s do this.”

Briana killed Whitney’s I’m Every Woman, all the ladies coming out to join her, as they tormented the men, Jason even pulling Jared on stage, so he could see how they were getting beat down by a bunch of girls.

“Brother, it doesn’t matter the competition, women will win every day of the week and twice on Sundays,” Jason slapped him on the shoulder as he headed off stage. “I need a drink.”

“So Rich tells me I’m up for another one. Hit it Maestro,” Y/N smiled. The music started and she knew she had Rich to thank. This song had become her anthem. He had been a good friend and better listener over the last several months and she was grateful for him, grateful for all of them. She could never picture her life without the crazy family she had found.

“This is for every single one of you that has been through hell and came out the other side…like a Winchester,” she grabbed the microphone and readied herself.

“You know the bed feels warmer

Sleeping here alone

You know I dream in color

And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me

Think you had the last laugh

Bet you think that everything good is gone

Think you left me broken down

Think that I’d come running back

Baby you don’t know me, 'cause you’re dead wrong

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn’t mean I’m over 'cause you’re gone…”

Y/N laughed as she danced around the stage, much like she did alone in her apartment or trailer. She finally felt like herself again.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me, myself and I

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started

Thanks to you I’m not the broken-hearted

Thanks to you I’m finally thinking 'bout me

You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning

In the end

Bouncing around the stage, Y/N closed out the song to a standing ovation and ringing ears. She had never felt lighter. She hugged Rich, giving back the microphone. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, but I ain’t done yet,” he winked at her. “Robbie, you’re up buddy!”

As soon as the title card hit the screen on stage, Rob groaned internally. The audience picked up the whistling for the first 45 seconds as Rob gave his best friend a piece of his mind, a smile on his face all the while.

“Rich! What are you doing? You totally set me up for this. I’m going to kill you in your sleep, just so you know!”

“Ohhh Bobbo, you’ll thank me in the morning and we both know it. Everyone knows it. Now focus and sing Axl!” Rich slapped Rob’s ass before ducking off stage. Rob looked around and caught Ruth and Y/N off to the side, slowly swaying to the tune.

“Shed a tear 'cause I’m missin’ you

I’m still alright to smile

Girl, I think about you every day now

Was a time when I wasn’t sure

But you set my mind at ease

There is no doubt you’re in my heart now

Said “woman take it slow, and it’ll work itself out fine”

All we need is just a little patience

Said “sugar make it slow and we’ll come together fine”

All we need is just a little patience (Patience)

Mm, yeah

I sit here on the stairs

'Cause I’d rather be alone

If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait dear

Sometimes I get so tense but I can’t speed up the time

But you know love there’s one more thing to consider

Said “woman take it slow and things will be just fine”

You and I’ll just use a little patience

Said “sugar take the time 'cause the lights are shining bright”

You and I’ve got what it takes to make it

We won’t fake it, I’ll never break it

'Cause I can’t take it…”

Y/N left Ruth’s side and strolled to where Rob stood center stage, his hand wrapped tightly around the microphone, his eyes closed as he whistled the quick few notes. When he opened his eyes, he found her right beside him.

Little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah

Need a little patience, yeah

Just a little patience, yeah

Some more patience, yeah

I’ve been walking the streets at night

Just trying to get it right

It’s hard to see with so many around

You know I don’t like being stuck in the crowd

And the streets don’t change but maybe the names

I ain’t got time for the game 'cause I need you

Yeah, yeah, yeah but I need you

Oh, I need you

Ooh this time

Rob looked down at the end of the song, the ballroom booming with cheers and applause, to find Y/N’s hand clasped tightly in his.

“All you needed was a little patience,” she smiled up at him.

“If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait dear,” Rob admitted, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Take it slow and things will be just fine,” she squeezed his hand and they rushed off the stage, only to be besieged by their friends.

“I knew it!” Kim threw her hands up in victory.

“Well that took longer than it should have,” Ruth giggled, sashaying back to the refreshments.

Y/N watched as Jared and Matt both slapped twenties in Jason’s hand.

“You bet on us?” Y/N asked, a mix of outrage and amusement as she looked among her friends, her hand still in Rob’s. His face was somewhere between pride, joy and shame.

“Hell yeah we did,” Jensen chimed in. “Now pay up Buckmaster!”

“I’m fresh out of cash, Ackles. Sorry,” she swayed towards him.

He grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her to him. “ I can think of plenty of ways you can work it off.” His deep timbre practically a growl before he kissed her.

Catcalls could be heard out on the stage no doubt. Rich poked his head through the curtain. “I missed it?”

“Told ya you would!” Kim hollered, holding out her hand. Rich, Mike, Y/N and Ruth all slipped her their payment. “Jas and I cleaned up. Come on folks, first rounds on us!”

“I guess it was a wager in more ways than one tonight, huh?” Rob chuckled, turning to face Y/N, a smile lighting up his face.

“Our friends may have bet on us, but I’m still a winner,” she grinned, lifting her chin to meet his baby blues.

“Yeah? How so?” he asked.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I got the guy, but I am still missing my winnings,” she stepped closer, mere inches separated them and she could feel the heat emanating from his lean body.

“What winnings are those?” he whispered, closing the distance even more.

“I still need your payment on the Buckles bet,” she reminded him.

“Oh yeah, what do I owe you again?” he feigned innocence.

“Let me think,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his in a sweet and slightly heated first kiss. “I think about a thousand more of those would be a good start.”

“Seems like a steep wager, Miss Y/L/N,” Rob quipped. “But I think I’d like to up the ante.”

“You’re on. Just remember, anything you can do, I can do better,” she giggled under his steady gaze.

“It’s going to be a fun weekend,.” Rob mumbled, grabbing her by the neck and kissed her harder this time, leaving her breathless and wanting more. He pulled away, her lips chasing his. “Patience, my dear. Just a little patience.”

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

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tayegi · 6 years ago

Note

Lu new rules is always worth the wait. I love it when the OC stood up to him. And Jungkook being whatever he’s trying to do is leaving us in suspense. But last the scene is perfect. I can picture that scene as if I was watching a drama. Especially when she say “it’ll be easy getting over you” and turn around VERY slowly. Gosh I just want to cry cause it’s beautifully written. JK probably scare that he’s not good enough for her?JEON JUNGKOOK you get on my nerves but I still love him.

jjiritjjiritgirl said:ohmygod the new chapter for new rules is so good ohmygod like i had to pause a lot when oc was calling jungkook out for being a coward. i wasnt the one going off but DAMN that felt good.

luxinfired said:OH SHIT I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THE NR UPDATE KXJABGZGQGHS Girl your writing is the best thing in the world! I love OC, she showed us her vulnerable side but then she goes and confronts Jungkook like that! That last scene was amazing, you tell them girl! Also I loved the conversation with Yoongi, I'm glad she was able to empathize with him immediately. I really want Yerin and him to find their own happiness, they deserve it~ Thank you for this wonderful piece of writing 💜

Anonymous said:jungkook a whole ass idiot

Anonymous said:Hi Lu!! U probably ddnt receive my ask from last time as well so Im writing this again! Well I just want to tell you that NR.11 WAS FUCKING AMAZING AND I'M SO SATISFIED WITH IT AND I CRIED! at first I expected OC to just yell at JK for his reaction when she confessed, thn have him tell her his story BUT SHIT SEEM SO DEEP HOLY SHIT! I feel so bad for oc and for the fact that she felt the need to say sorry? Thats kinda fucked up but I believe that's bc she was pretty shocked by his reaction[1–❄️🐰

Anonymous said:Also maybe I'm not the only one hatin' on JK, but damn boi better have a GOOD excuse to why the fuck is he being a pain in the ass, I mean.. I don't wanna judge him for his choices, but thats exactly what I wanna do BYE/ but like im pretty sure that he's been acting like a jerk to 'help OC get rid of her cancerous feelings' cuz I dnt think that he sees HER as a prob-in fact, he actually rly likes her- but he just cnt seem to accept her feelings that's so absurd.. [2—❄️🐰

Anonymous said:Like he was so happy to see her when he was with his team but once he remembered that he was supposed to ignore her he acted like he ddnt want to see her. And I really dnt know which part was he so embarrassed about when she came in calling him out in his own frat; was it bc she exposed his whipped ass in front of his we-dnt-do-feelings™ buddies? Or was it bc of sth else AMMA FUCKING SNAP! [3—❄️🐰

Anonymous said:And I really think that when OC told him that it's gonna be so easy to get over him now that he showed his true colors, like, I really think that it was a slap to his face. Cuz deep down, I dnt think he wants her to get over him and I know that shit will go down from here when the entire frat is mocking OC's speech, JM will know abt it, MJ might hear from him too AND HOPEFULLY SHE CAN KICK THE BULLSHIT OUT OF JK ONCE MORE! gosh Lu thank u so much for this amazing fic💕 u make my days😭[4/4]—❄️🐰

Anonymous said:holy mother of god wOW emphasis on the OW NR11 !!! Lu my god, idk how you've gotten me to love getting stabbed in the heart like this but !!! :,( thank you so much for updating and incorporating toxic masculinity and gaslighting into this chapter, they're such important issues and i just wish OC didn't have to deal with their effects. idk how long you're planning on making NR, all i hope for is that someone will treat OC right by the end *side-eyes JK, whispers "get it together, fool"*

Anonymous said:Thank you so much for yet another amazing chapter of NR!! I love how you write with so much detail about the thoughts of the OC when jk rejects her. For me, it heightens the emotions of the story so much and i love that I can feel what the OC feels - the initial embarrassment, the sadness, the anger. I also loved how the OC confronted JK and didn’t just dismiss her own emotions, acknowledging that they’re just as valid as JKs. Thank!!! You!!! :)

Anonymous said:hi lu! just wanted to day i love nr and that i appreciate the messages that you put in your writing. especially with the latest chapter, i relate so much to what nr yoongi is going through, and seeing that was a wonderful reminder that im not alone in this situation and that when you reach out, people will support you. again, thank you so much for writing and sharing these stories with us and i hope that you yourself have an amazing group of people who support and love you 💚💜

Anonymous said:I feel like waste it on me fits as bg music to the situation JK and OC are in after her confession in NR lol.. but anyways, just finished reading the latest chapter and wow. So many emotions. I'm so glad OC finally confronted JK, i love her fiery personality! Your writing really has me immersed in my own little bubble as I put myself in OC's shoes. Looking forward to the rest when the time comes, i'm curious to find out JK's backstory. Great work, Lu! 💕

Anonymous said:Ahh I just finished the update and its so heart wrenching. The emotions were so raw and realistic. And as hard as it was to read the pain the OC had to go through, I'm excited that either way things are moving in a new direction. She can't keep suppressing her feelings forever. Admitting feelings can be so difficult but afterwards its so freeing knowing that you're not holding anything back and being honest with yourself. I'm looking forward to the growth this will bring all of the characters.

Anonymous said:I just caught up to new rules and wow as someone who experienced a heartbreak that I never want to go through again THAT SHIT HURTED I felt the emotions of the o/c yelling at jungkook out of frustration and anger highkey wish I could’ve confronted the person that I had a relationship with in that manner yk to get it out of the system I think that way the healing is a faster process because you aren’t having an internal dialogue of what you could’ve said etc wow thank you for writing new rules! x

Anonymous said:I love the new NR chapter! It definitely hit home when you described how the OC felt after she got rejected. I love the end in this chapter. I love the OC's confrontation. I wish I could be a woman on a mission like her too. Yoongi's character got me namshooketh btw. I love how you added the lgbtq aspect into this fic. Everything about it is so realistic. And I love the gaslighting part in her confrontation so much! This is such a beautifully written fanfic. 😭❤

bekzzz said:You know what I really appreciate about New Rules. Mijoo and the Readers friendship. I love how they stuck together after everything. I also love how the reader is trying to reclaim her self esteem. I think calling Jungkook out was amazing for her. Also, maybe for him it will help him figure out his own feelings. Love is okay, being romantic is okay. It doesn't diminish masculinity or make someone weak. Thanks for this amazing update! Till next time.

Anonymous said:holy moly, new rules was eventful. i felt so much secondhand embarrassment when she was *rejected* by jk, and really hated nr jk for how he reacted... and then when oc, yerin and mijoo were together, and she felt like she needed to be the strong one. i really fucking felt that. it felt like a punch to the gut. but oc’s comments to jk really got me, and i have so much respect for her, yet pity her at the same time... as well as jk. thank you for the amazing update!! 😘 ly babe

Anonymous said:Dear god my heart was pounding all throughout that chapter lmao. How the heck you gotta get me so involved my body freaks out whenever you update New Rules? For real tho I feel for Yoongi- I know what it's like to have people be ready to ridicule and drop you for something you can't change about yourself, so that got me real good. I do hope that JK and MC are able to work themselves out they are by far one of the most interesting pairings I've read about thus far (praying for a happy ending)

Anonymous said:HOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS! Girl, you threw me for a loop. JK's reaction was pretty close to what I thought it would be, albeit more hostile which makes me so fucking curious like BABY WHO HURT YOU?!?!?! Yoongi turning Yerin down because he's gay just wow. I had zero inclination until the second he said it and the whole conversation was just gorgeous. And that final stomp into the frat house and speech were just glorious. Thank you my love

Anonymous said:first of all i want to thank you for the new chapter, it was such a surprise since you was so busy these past months so thank you for taking some time to write. now about the new chapter... my heart was beating so fucking fast the whole time, it’s amazing how well you’re able to express the feelings of the characters and make us all (well at least me) fell connected to the story. i’ve said this before, but the most amazing thing about nr (beside the plot & characters) is how relatable it is

Anonymous said:🎃(1) OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO CUTE AND AT SOME POINTS I AM not making any sense so be prepared 😥 💜💜 I hope I don't bore you /// Ok, here we go. ( /// means another scene or change of subject and --- means same scene but next line. Also I'll use the 🎃 emoji for Halloween's sake 😊) Damn that's gonna be so long 😥 oh well. /// Akakakakak first of all, great start! It lights up the heavy mood. And tbh who wouldn't get distracted from a half naked jk. 😏 ///

Anonymous said:🎃(2)Akskfhlskfajfkf I'm smiling. My heart is clenched tho. (I'm reading the kiss scene in the beginning) /// Why do I feel him saying I like you too won't be the way our oc means. My heart is confused. --- Fuck. --- Fuuuck... ///Ok, there's no way he would look at her with disgust. Come on giiirl. Don't fall for the lies our brain tells us. ---Ok, scratch that last. WHAT THE FUCK JEON JUNGKOOK. 😬 ----I wanna hug the oc and tell her that he is afraid and stupid for acting that way.

Anonymous said:🎃(3) That she is more than what she thinks. And like wtf he might be a star athlete and a stund but wtf about not being good enough?! Askfkddskkas. fuuck. //// You are not supposed to be fucking anything. Let it ouuut. They love you and it will help.--- Ok I get the point with it not being about you. (Ahahahahaha I'm on a roller coaster, sawrryyy) ---- Oh yaaaasss, I liiive for angry oc! You go guurl! ---- Well, if he is gay that would explain a lot. --

Anonymous said:🎃(4) ---"Trust me when I say that it would be entirely impossible with me" bruh. He is gay. --- Oh shit, he is gay...... 😶 ---- Now I'm sad. Ahahah and now I wanna hug him too . And I love the oc for being a good friend and I love that he reminds me of one of my closest friends being a tsundere.😢 /// Way to go yoongles, woop woop!! that sonofabiish. 🌚🌚---Wow when yoongi relaxed I realised I was holding my breath. Wtf ahahaha

Anonymous said:🎃(5) /// Aish. I'm getting angry at jk and angry at the oc for taking his bullshit and not being angry ahahah. ----- WHAT THE FUCK JEON KUNGKOOK WHY YOU BEING SO "TOUGH" AND "MANLY" YOU FUCKIN FUCKER 👿 (about him smiling at first and then being fake macho) ----- My eyes grew when you wrote she headed to jk frathouse 👀 --- I'm crossing my fingers for a buttkicking session, sth like mijoo did to the oc. Maybe a power point presentation of why he likes her too. Ahahah ---

Anonymous said:Ooo girl I am FIRED UP. You write so well that I can always fell the emotions OC feels. I was sad and hurt, shocked, and really mad. JK is such an asshole for making OC feel like her feelings weren't valid. He really does need to grow up. Good on OC for realizing that. And I don't know why he's putting up such a front when he's been such a good person thus far but BITCH IT BEST BE A GOOD REASON. So I'm assuming yerin has got the bad ending? Bc she doesn't know about yoongi being gay n shes hurt?

Anonymous said:(1/3🧟‍♂️) New Rules is probably my favorite non-published work that I’ve ever read and I really just want to thank you for being willing to share your writing with us! So, I feel like a lot went down in this chapter. I saw another anon say they thought Jk’s issues stemmed from a previous relationship. The girl probably made him feel like relationships in general are toxic, and as a result he’s completely unwilling to put himself in that kind of vulnerable position again? (1/3)

Anonymous said:(2/3🧟‍♂️) Similar to how the oc is feeling about being rejected, like she was stupid to let herself feel something for him, that’s why I think her barging in and calling him out in front of his friends got to him. (2/3)

Anonymous said:(3/3🧟‍♂️) All in all though, this chapter was really well written (like they all are lol) and I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I appreciate all the work you put into your writings bc they’ve really inspired me to educate myself on feminism and just a lot of things in general I’d never thought about before. Thanks again, Lu! I hope you have a wonderful week 💜💜 (3/3)

Anonymous said:wow lu, thank you for the newest nr update! my thoughts on my first reading: jungkook's reaction was shocking for the emotional side of me, not the logical side. I still feel for oc tho. yoongi being gay? didnt expect that & now I feel bad for assuming his sexuality, glad he talked to OC abt it bc it must have been hard to hold that secret. oc calling out jungkook? shes much braver than me, & I agree, jk's actions seem off. will reread & send reactions after, again thank you for writing/sharing!

There is literally nothing i love more than reading your thoughts and reactions!!! i have no idea how my writing will affect others, so to hear this is the most rewarding thing ever. thank you so much my lovely, passionate readers. You mean the world to me!!!

#new rules #new rules ch 11 #lanalanexpjm

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54fangirl · 6 years ago

Text

Will You Love The Real Me?

Sweet Pea x Reader

Requested: Yes! - Idk if your taking requests or not but i love your series im here now and i wanted to know if you’d take this? Could you do one where SP is dating a closted reader (bi or pan) and she’s like affriad to tell him or somthing. Thx

Summary: Sweet Pea and Y/N broke up because she was keeping secrets, but no one could figure out what they were. Well until Toni convinces Fangs to go with her to a club in Greendale.

Pairings: Sweet Pea x Female!Bisexual!Reader

Words: 2,387

Warnings: swearing, homophobia/biphobia, hints at being closeted, mentions of gay conversion, underage(?), angst (?), a French word (?) (It means Please)

A/N: First off, this is my first request! But like lowkey, it’s 3:30AM, I just got inspired out of the blue and wrote this. Fuck knows why. I hope this is what you were looking for my dude, this is what I got.

Edit: I’m rereading this and it’s so extra omfg, but like also not really based on Riverdale standards...

[Y/N] - Your name

[Y/L/N] - Your last name

[Y/N/N] - Your nickname

Disclaimers: I own nothing but the plot and the OC’s / Not my Gif, credits to the owner

“This is depressing,” Toni said as she assessed her friends pouting at her bar.

Fangs had just been dumped by some guy he didn’t want any of them to know about and Sweet Pea had just broken up with his girlfriend.

Neither Fangs nor Toni were really close with her, but they both knew Sweet Pea thought she was going to stick.

“Yeah well you still have miss ‘Bombshell’, so you have no room to talk Topaz,” Sweet Pea grumbled as he pushed off the bar and headed for the pool table.

“Do you even know what happened? I thought things were good between the two of them?” She whispered at Fangs.

“Not really, he said something about her keeping secrets but that could just be him being paranoid.”

Toni sighed, watching as her friend sat face down on the bar.

“Alright well I can’t do anything about him but you’re coming out with me and Cheryl this weekend.”

“And just why would I do that?” Fangs asked, rolling his head to the side.

“Because I know you have a fake and Cheryl happens to know of a fun club we can hit up in Greendale.”

“And why aren’t we bringing Pea?”

“Not really his scene...” She edged around the meaning, not wanting to say anything too loud.

Fangs got the real meaning though.

“Yeah, fine I guess.”

XXX

Fangs could feel the bass from inside the club pumping as they waited in line.

“You’re sure we won’t see anyone we know?” He asked, not wanting to see anyone from Riverdale.

Toni nodded her head as her girlfriend talked to the bouncer, “I swear. We’re clear on the other side of Greendale.”

They passed by the bouncer fairly easy, all of them looking the part and all being really attractive.

Fangs spent the first bit chilling against the wall, watching Toni dance with a few other people, Cheryl has disappeared to the bar. He sipped his drink as the lights flashed in his eyes and he felt the beat in his chest.

One girl caught his attention seeing as she was sandwiched between two other girls and was heavily grinding on them as she laughed and had an all-around good time.

He smiled, maybe this place could be fun.

Then he saw her face and his own went pale and he ran to pull Toni off the girl she was with.

“What?! I like this song!” She grumbled loudly over the music.

“You said we wouldn’t know anyone here!”

“We don’t!”

“Really?!” He pointed directly at the girl he was just looking at.

Toni’s eyes bug out.

“[Y/N]...”

They watched her move and grind, singing along with the song before she spotted them, her skin draining of all it’s color.

She pushed off the girls and hurried across the floor, fast, rushing out the door.

“Did Pea know?” Toni wonders.

“I don’t think so...”

XXX

[Y/N] sat in her car where it was parked in a random lot.

She wanted to cry.

She did cry.

This club was her only safe place. The only place she could be herself. The only place that Riverdale wasn’t.

She could never face any of them again. The two would tell Sweet Pea the first chance they got, she was sure.

Her parents would find out and ship her off again.

XXX

“What do you mean?! Bisexual?!”

“Mom, I-”

“Do not speak to your mother!” Her father had yelled. “I will not have this...this nonsense in my house.”

“What are you talking about-?”

“Shut up!” Her father slapped her across the face.

“I don’t know who you are, but you’re not my daughter.”

“Yes I am, I’m still me!” [Y/N] pleaded, tears streaming down her cheeks

“No, you’re not. You’re somebody else. Somebody, I don’t recognize. You’re nothing but a worthless sinner.” Her father spoke at her with a look of disgust on his face, her mother staring at the floor.

“I can’t help it...” She cried quietly, fallen to the floor.

The two left the room and didn’t speak to her.

They didn’t say a word the next morning as she was taken forcefully by two large men.

They stayed silent as she was pricked with the needle and sedated.

They only nodded when a Sister told them she’d be in good hands and fix their daughter.

“She’ll be cured in no time, you caught it early.” She’d reassured them as [Y/N]’s mother cried.

“You do whatever you need, as long as that...thing doesn’t come back into my house.”

“Of course not, Mr. [Y/L/N].”

XXX

“I still don’t understand what happened,” Cheryl spoke and she got ready for bed.

“I told you, we saw someone we knew and Fangs just wasn’t feeling it. Not in the clubbing mood.”

“Well, who’d you see?” She pushed.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why can’t I know? I’m not going to tell anyone, I mean, not if you don’t want me to.”

Toni sighed and face planted into a pillow before coming up for air and sighing again, “Fine. But you can’t tell anyone, not even Sweet Pea.”

Cheryl raised her left hand and put her right one on her chest, above her heart, “I swear on Nana Rose’s life.”

Toni rolled her eyes a little, her girlfriend was a drama queen, to say the least.

“Sweet Pea’s ex. [Y/N] [Y/L/N].”

Cheryl didn’t say anything and had turned away so Toni couldn’t see her reaction.

“Huh. Wouldn’t have thought she swung that way. Although her being on the softball team through junior high and freshmen year might’ve been a clue.”

Toni snorted, “Yeah I guess.”

XXX

[Y/N] stood at her locker, hugging her books close to her.

“[Y/N]. Lovely to see you, a word s'il vous plaît,” Cheryl slid up next to her.

The girl gave a little nod and began to follow the redhead to the girl's bathroom, passing the trio of serpents and watching them watch her and Cheryl.

She connected eyes with Sweet Pea and remembered when things had started between the two.

XXX

She had been back for two weeks when she met him.

She’d found walking around distracted her from her troubling thoughts.

She’d somehow made it to the southside.

“I think you’re a little lost there, Princess.” He’d spoke, his voice deep and gravely.

Masculine, She thought.

They kept running into each other the next week before he asked her out for real. It was another two weeks before she told her parents.

“I’m dating someone,” they looked up, concerned. “A boy.”

Smiles spread across their faces.

“That’s great sweetheart, I’m so proud of you.” He mother spoke, but she could hear the undertone of what her mother was thinking ‘Thank god it’s not a girl. My little girl is normal again.’

“When do we get to meet him?” Her father asked, ruffling the newspaper in his hands.

[Y/N] rung her hands together, “I don’t know, he’s...from the southside...”

She prepared for the backlash but her father only laughed.

“I don’t care where he’s from as long as he makes you happy.” She heard the same undertone from her father as he emphasized the ‘proper pronouns’.

XXX

As the two girls entered the bathroom Cheryl glared at the other girls occupying the room.

“Go. Leave. Get out.”

The others ran out as fast as they could. As soon as she was sure they were alone, the ginger girl went off.

“Are you okay? Did anyone know you went last night? Did you see anyone you knew or who knew you?” Cheryl questioned.

The two’s times at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy had overlapped, [Y/N] having been there much longer than Cheryl. They had a strange bond, but it was a bond nonetheless.

“I saw Toni and Fangs,” [Y/N] spoke quietly, used to speaking softly when she felt like she was being berated.

“Hey, speak up. I gave you the name of that club for a reason. You stand tall and be proud,” Cheryl ordered.

“I don’t know...”

“Stand Tall. Be proud.”

[Y/N] stood up straight and looked a little less nervous.

“That’s my girl,” Cheryl praised. “Did he know?”

[Y/N] slouched a little and shook her head, talking about him made her sad.

She really did like him, she just couldn’t talk about what happened with him.

She got squirely around Toni, in fear of Cheryl having told her. She avoided questions. She avoided bringing him over to meet her parents. She dodged the pointed statements and left at any suggestive comments. It was too much for him. He’d assumed she just didn’t like his friends or being around the serpents as a whole and broke up with her because of that.

Oh if only he knew the truth, She thought

“Tell him.”

Cheryl’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“What?!” She hissed incredulously.

“He won’t think of you any different, he certainly won’t tell anyone, and he won’t be angry. Well, he might want to kill your parents, but that’s if I don’t get there first.”

“Cheryl...”

“Tell him, [Y/N]. You’ll feel better, I promise.”

“Cheryl he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Make him listen.”

XXX

“Sweet Pea...” [Y/N] hesitated quietly in front of his desk. He looked up at her, but a movement from behind him caught her eye. Cheryl sat a few rows back, mouthing and motioning their little motto.

“Stand tall and be proud.”

“What, [Y/N]?”

“Can we talk?”

“I don’t really-”

Cheryl's words rung through her ears, “Make him listen.”

She stood straight up and interrupted him, “We need to talk.”

He sighed, “Alright fine.”

“After school,” She continued on with authority. He nodded.

As soon as they agreed to meet by his bike she wandered off behind him and slumped next to Cheryl.

“That was exhausting.”

“I, for one, am proud. I’ve never seen that from you.”

“Yeah, there’s a reason for that...”

“Oh hush, just live in the moment [Y/N/N].”

XXX

She walked out and found him standing against his bike.

Once he spotted her, he moved.

“Let’s get this over with.”

They drove down to Sweetwater River where the two sat next to the water. Staying quiet for a good five minutes.

“I thought you wanted to talk”

“I’m trying!” she exploded, feeling pressured as is.

It shocked Sweet Pea but he found he liked it. It felt like she was being real for the first time.

He wanted more of it.

“Well try a little harder otherwise I’m out of here.”

She could feel her nerves igniting.

“Well maybe if you weren’t such a jerk I’d be more inclined to talk.”

Yes, this is what he wanted. Real raw emotions. She never got mad at him before, he loved it.

“Oh yeah? So I was a jerk the entire time we were together? Because you never talked to me then.”

She was already on edge, not really wanting to do this, and he wasn’t helping. She was getting angrier and losing control.

“Yeah, actually! You know what, you were. I couldn’t trust you with shit! I wanted to! But no! You were always off talking with your buddies, going on and on about some bullshit you heard from someone about something so pointless and meaningless that literally, no one gave a single fuck about it, not even you!”

Just as she exploded, the sky did the same, drenching them both in a matter of minutes.

He was astounded. No words.

She had never been like this before and it felt like that was a completely different person now, like she wasn’t his ex, but a whole new person that he was certain he could fall for.

“Trust me with what? Bullshit gossip about your little River Vixen friends? Thanks but I’ll pass,” He could help but antagonize her.

She groaned, “Ugh! God, I can’t believe you! I’m trying to tell you something-!”

“Then just spit it out-!”

“I’m Bisexual!” She yelled, matching the sound of the thunder above them.

He was taken aback by her confession, his face free of any anger or taunting but full of shock.

She sighed and buried her face in her hands, going on to explain everything. How her parents reacted, how she was sent away, what happened with The Sister’s, how her time overlapped with Cheryl’s, why she avoided everyone, just everything, all of it leading up to the moment Toni and Fangs caught her at the club.

They were both soaked to the bone. Sweet Pea grabbed her and carefully drove them back to his trailer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked quietly after giving her a change of dry and warm clothes.

“I’m telling you now!” She was still angry, but he didn’t want that anymore.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I didn’t trust you before. I didn’t trust anyone,” She muttered, looking down at the sleeve she was playing with.

“Why now?”

“Because...”

“Just because?”

She huffed, “Look, Cheryl convinced me. Told me you weren’t going to shun me or get mad or tell my parents or something...” She trailed off towards the end.

“And you thought I would’ve before?” He was only a little hurt. They hadn’t actually been together long, but to him, three months felt like a really long time.

“No. Maybe. I don’t know. I didn’t think my parents were going to ship me off to gay conversion camp against my will, but shit happens.”

He chuckled.

“What?”

“Nothing, you just never swore before today. I like it. It feels real.”

[Y/N] smiled, maybe they still had a shot, maybe she didn’t blow it just yet

***

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alterlifes-a · 6 years ago

Text

tag muns you want to know better; repost - don’t reblog.

What inspired you to try/create that muse/s: well , if you’ve been with me long enough then you know that tooru started out as an AU ! o.ikawa t.ooru, where instead of attending s.eijou , he went to s.hiratorizawa ! to be honest , i kind of just wanted to try my hand at writing that kind of thing ? it was the very first time i had made a tumblr rp blog , so i had no idea that people rp different verses of the same character on one blog !! i originally rp’d on deviantart , and it was very commonplace to have different blogs for different verses ... i had over 70 rp blogs on there and most of them were literally the same 2 characters but in different AUs LMAO ... so imagine my surprise when i saw people rp’ing different AUs on one blog ... RP’ing multiple muses on one blog ... !! but i kinda just stayed with my iteration instead of playing canon ! kawa anyway , since i didn’t really see the point in starting over . as tooru developed more , though , i began to use him as a venting tool because this was a part of my life where i was really depressed . but as time grew on and i eventually made him into an OC , he became a much happier character . he really is my best friend ; he’s been there for me through it all , and even though he’s just fictional , i really owe him a lot for helping me out during rough times .

What is inspiration for that muse/s: well , currently , a lot of things ... lots of music , japanese culture + religion , and also my own experiences . in general , i have a p.interest board for him , so ... maybe you could say i draw inspiration from that , too ! i also rly enjoy the band MILI . their songs really fit tooru , like ‘ bathtub mermaid ’ . i’ve also been listening to hello , again and am planning on drawing something based on it for him ( + the song’s prequel , “ goodbye ” ) . i mainly tend to daydream while listening to songs , so ... yeah . as for characters who serve as inspiration for tooru ... well , i think that’s an artist meme , so i might just fill it in in lieu of answering this properly lol ... but two i can think of off the top of my head are leon from f.ire e.mblem e.choes and n.eferpitou from h.xh !

Thread/AU that made you really happy: B.NHA AU ... !! i’m hyperfixating sm on that one ... idk , a lot of planning and plotting goes into it , esp since a lot of my mutuals are in the fandom . in particular , i love love love the story i’ve created with @noquirk . i literally cannot envision a more perfect plot for tooru in this verse . heck , it’s literally my main go - to timeline when i draw / write for it . tooru is , quite literally , not very much in this AU without deck .

Something really special on your wishlist: sh ... more ships ... ships to draw and animate and make animatics to ... also i need to get my butt into gear and finish my JRPG AU group lol .

Something you are looking for in short future for your muse: blease tooru help me get thru the school year ... also i have some animatics in the back burner so i’m looking forward to getting those done !

Share something related to your muse!: his canon story , in parallel motion , deals with existentialism and alternate universes . ultimately , it’s a story that serves as a physical manifestation of my own struggle with depression , and while it’s sombre in tone , i want it to tell whoever’s reading it , “ you matter . ” it’s why tooru is placed into so many marginalized groups ; he’s fat and trans and biracial and bi and suffers from bpd + depression + anxiety but he’s a good person through it all ... his story is tragic because he’s not allowed to exist and will be forgotten when he dies , but his existence impacts so many other characters’ lives ... it’s a butterfly effect kind of thing . because you exist , you’ve made so many peoples’ lives better . and i understand it’s rough and i understand depression + sucky real life aspects try to convince you otherwise , but just ... think about it . there’s an alternate universe where , because you don’t exist , something huge was probably impacted . and even on a smaller , more intimate scale --- if you hadn’t existed in another life , then one of your friends might not be here . they might not be as happy as they are now , because you make them happy . life can be awful . but it’s wonderful and beautiful , too . that’s what i want tooru to be to others . someone to look up to and relate to , and someone who tells you , “ it’s okay ! ”

What do you think about character’s design/how do you came up with this: he’s ... kinda generic LOL mainly cause he’s based off of o.ikawa looks - wise due to his origin ... but part of his looks also derivate from an old ask blog muse i had :

i just really like that bangs - over - one - eye hairstyle ngl ... also i have no idea how / when his hair became maroon - brown since o.ikawa’s hair is chestnut brown , but ... yeah . also have no idea when he gained red eyes HDKJSFS,,,, i find fangs appealing on a character though , so that’s why he has fangs and does the :3c ... honestly i think i kinda just slapped together what i like in a design and put it on him , so even though he may look like an NPC ( lol ) , he’s still appealing in my eyes .

What your muse taught you: how to love being alive ... ( i’ve actually written an essay for a class about how he’s helped me through depression haha ... he means a lot to me , can you tell ? )

What is roleplay for you: all of you are awful and yet here i am anyway so really this says more about me than anything else .

Just say something nice about other mun!: @onfaith you are my ANGEL you mean sm to me and i wish u all the best with your studies / @tikkvn i love u sm cass ur an amazing person n a wonderful existence never forget that / @juuheart notay is my fave bleach chara also ur art is so cute / @wuvlite if i die all my money goes to u so u can keep drawing holy SHIZ ur art is #inspiration / @queznak ur very interesting and charismatic as a person !!! / @uzvisen idk how to spell ur url this took me 3 tries but also ilysm / @conhnhaketon i also cant spell ur url but i hope ur doing well n ur eid was good , ik we’ve both been busy but i would live for u / @quirkthief ur one of my fave ppl i will forever tag u in shibes also i’ve supported u in u saying afo was hot even when he looked ugly n now i get to watch everyone who made fun of u writhe bc he is rly rly hot hahaha / @noquirk you’re so talented pls never stop what ur doing / @aerve you’re rly cool !!! 100% support u in everything u do ! >:0 / @starbooms aries ur so creative ugh ... ur mind !!!!!! ik we don’t talk much but ur v fun / @bendsair i forget what other blogs ur on but chris ur the coolest #TalkRomania2Me / @creatied we don’t talk much either but ur graphics r so aesthetically appealing wowzers !! / @daimnas i’m wuv you amari !! also my french sucks but uhhh comment ca va ( i’m too lazy to find the accented ‘c’ dsfhi ) ?? / @soarsun i’ve only known u for a few weeks but if anything happened to u i would kill everyone on this website n then myself / @quirkgifter nanners is the coolest n nana is the best grandma in town / @natsutodoroki im so jealous u got a canon url as ur rp url LMAO but also ur rly cool n fun even tho we dont talk too frequently ! / @lechors LINNEA I WILL DIE FOR U RIGHT HERE RIGHT N--- / @ YOU READING THIS BC I’M ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP : YOU’RE AWESOME AND GREAT !

Tagged by: stole it from @queznak Tagging: whomstever

#no formatting im heading 2 bed bye bye shkfjs #long post /#long post #meme .#what’s up —– i’m ru ‚ i’m 19 ‚ and i never h*ckin’ learned how to read . / ooc.

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i-am-grell · 6 years ago

Text

Here’s My Top 100 For 2018 From Spotify

And me trying to justify them! (Look, some are WIP-related, others are jams, some I really can’t explain I just got back into Glee for like a month at one point this year...) Here’s the playlist

1. From a Mountain In The Middle Of The Cabins - Panic! At The Disco

Look, I just love the bouncy piano and the tuba. You can never have a bad tuba.

2. The End. - My Chemical Romance

Goes along with Chapter 8 of my WIP, Interlude, because I’m mean

3. Blank Space - I Prevail

This also goes along with Interlude from Chapter 1 - 5

4. If It Means A Lot To You - A Day To Remember

This one goes with my WIP Blood Bound (This one isn’t posted anywhere) (specifically, book 5)

5. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes - Fall Out Boy

Another Blood Bound one (Book 7)

6. This Could Be Anywhere In The World - Alexisonfire

Interlude

7. The Curse of Curves - Cute is What We Aim For

This was going to be Interlude-related but got replaced. Still a banger

8. Disturbia - The Cab

The theme song of Dreavyn from my WIP Aaron Being Normal and if anyone has any tips on how to control a chaotic bisexual OC please let me know

9. Jumpsuit - Twenty One Pilots

Funky bass

10. MakeDamnSure - Taking Back Sunday

A theme for Trace from Aaron Being Normal (Won’t be extremely relevant until book 3 (also this was supposed to be a standalone...))

11. Miss Murder - AFI

Funky bass part 2

12. Fences - Paramore

Interlude again - A Selena Walton Theme Song.

13. The Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance

Interlude - A Morgan/Selena/Mostly Selena Theme. (Also, a banger)

14. Camisado - Panic! At The Disco

Interlude - How many hospital scenes can I fit into 1 WIP about depressed teens? (Turns out three; maybe four, technically)

15. My Heart I Surrender - I Prevail

Cole’s character song (Interlude) (Also romantic AF)

16. I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy

Interlude. Also a Mood

17. Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Partially Interlude, partially because Holiday fucking slaps and BoBD is a classic

18. Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

1/2 Interlude, 1/2 a Mood

19. I Don’t Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem) - Good Charlotte

Dare I say, an aro-ace mood?

20. Check Yes, Juliet - We The Kings

I feel like half this playlist is just gonna be songs from the Interlude playlist...

21. Problematique - Hot Chelle Rae

Some funky bass, call and response, and fast rhyming - an ultimate jam

22. Postcards - Amber Pacific

Interlude playlist

23. Nico and The Niners - Twenty One Pilots

Look, I just really like Trench; it’s a good album

24. Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance

This is on the Interlude playlist but there’s such a Bonnie and Clyde feel to it, man...

25. Do You Know What I’m Seeing? - Panic! At The Disco

No. I don’t. Good song to dissociate to, though. I’m not good at instruments but good guitar/ukulele/whatever it is. Pleasant mood.

26. Rough Hands - Alexisonfire

Look, I’m trying to learn how to properly sing unclean parts (screamo parts) which will be absolutely shocking coming from a 5′2″ blonde girl; I need songs to practice to...

27. The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver - All Time Low

Theme song to the Netflix adaptation of Interlude that plays in my head on repeat. Now if only I could actually finish writing the goddamn book...

28. Fat Lip - Sum 41

Interlude playlist, also listen to it and tell me you don’t hate everybody and this town

29. Say Anything (Else) - Cartel

I like singing the intro/chorus as sort of a vocal warm up...

30. Oh Well, Oh Well - Mayday Parade

Just a fucking MOOD my dudes

31. Whatever Happened To Saturday Night? - Glee Cast Version

No offense to Meat Loaf....but John Stamos... (Also Interlude (Travis) inspo) (Also I was really into Glee again earlier this year... Still haven’t actually watched past season 3...)

32. The Anthem - Good Charlotte

What I listen to when I consider dropping out and becoming a bog witch, but, like, a punk bog witch

33. Thunder - Boys Like Girls

Aaron Being Normal Inspo. The band’s name is ironic considering how Gay I make it...

34. Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am? - Fall Out Boy

I like singing this one when I’m drunk

35. I Don’t Love You - My Chemical Romance

Blood Bound (Book 2)

36. This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

Blood Bound (Book 3)

37. Silver Bullet - Hawthorne Heights

Interlude Playlist

38. Weightless - All Time Low

MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR I scream to myself on a Tuesday

39. Who Do You Love - Marianas Trench

Have you ever looked up an a capella version of this one? Cuz yeah

40. Let The Flames Begin - Paramore

Anti-Depression, yet still Depressed Mood

41. Red Sam - Flyleaf

Depression Mood - also Interlude playlist

42. Jamie All Over - Mayday Parade

Interlude Playlist, and I think the Dreavyn playlist too... Look, it’s just a jam

43. Savior - Rise Against

Interlude Theme

44. Kiss Me, Kill Me - Mest

Another Interlude thing also a really good Selena x Morgan song

45. Hot To The Touch, Cold On The Inside - Fall Out Boy

Aaron Being Normal song also it’s about a hot pocket

46. Newport Living - Cute is What We Aim For

Interlude song that causes drama

47. Meant To Live - Switchfoot

Selena song - Interlude

48. Kill All Your Friends - My Chemical Romance

This is on the Interlude playlist purely because I’m Evil

49. You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

On the Interlude playlist, also highly recommend blaring this through the hallways of your Catholic High School during lunch

50. Lights And Sounds - Yellowcard

Interlude Playlist also a banger

51. Angel With A Shotgun - The Cab

If this ain’t romantic as shit... Also it will make you wanna declare war on God Himself what a Mood

52. Somebody Told Me - The Killers

I’m not justifying why The Killer’s is on here I’m just shocked and appalled that Mr. Brightside has yet to make an appearance Spotify

53. Alright - Hot Chelle Rae

The English major inside of me wants to correct it to “all right” also Interlude epilogue Mood.

54. Changing - Saosin

Interlude Playlist

55. Bring Me To Life (Synthesis) - Evanescence

The Synthesis version is far superior and allows me to Properly showcase my Amy Lee impression

56. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bed - Fall Out Boy

Along with J. Michael Tatum, Patrick Stump’s voice is My Religion - the first 23 seconds > The Beatles

57. Pas De Cheval - Panic! At The Disco

Sounds gallop-y

58. Be My Escape - Relient K

Interlude Mood/Theme

59. Science Fiction Double Feature - Glee Cast

Look, all Rocky Horror versions are great, even the Glee one...

60. Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

I like to sing this one when drunk

61. Stand - Flyleaf

Blood Bound (Final Book. End. Roll credits.)

62. I’d Do Anything - Simple Plan

A jam

63. Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World

The call-response, the spastic drums, damn boi, they’ve got it all

64. Say You Like Me - We The Kings

Catchy song, little fuckboi-ish if you really listen to the lyrics, but it’s not Baby It’s Cold Outside-bad???

65. AMBULANCE - My Chemical Romance

*Choir Ah-ing*, also an Interlude mood considering there are like 2 separate confirmed ambulance parts anyway...

66. crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Look me dead in the eye and tell me Hayley Williams didn’t put everything into her lyrics/singing here

67. Stay - Mayday Parade

Songs for when you’re heartbroken but to the point of dissociating while it rains outside, starting to storm, it starts out with just the grey pattering of a sheet of raindrops and soon the thunder starts to rumble with growing intensity and lightning splits the sky

68. There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet - Panic! At The Disco

I am the victim of Dreavyn Hawthorne from my WIP Aaron Being Normal seriously if anyone can help me control a chaotic theatre bisexual...

69. Lyrical Lies - Cute is What We Aim For

This band’s lyrics are so fucking poetic it is Shakespeare to a guitar, y’all

70. Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

I always get like a falling slowly down one of those psychedelic tubes greenscreened into the background feeling at the intro but just like totally at peace falling, like kinda like listening to Ride by 21P type mood but then the chorus comes and it’s a jam

71. Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

Just a banger

72. My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Look I don’t party too hard but when I do we go hard I was at a party on a Thursday night that didn’t end until the next morning no shit one guy I know did a kegstand before going to his English class

73. Come As You Are - Nirvana

Damn Kurt we miss you but you turned out some jams that no one can match

74. Traitor - Flyleaf

Blood Bound (Book 3)

75. Sadie Hawkins Dance - Relient K

The lyrics are so stupid but damn I love it

76. Poetically Pathetic - Amber Pacific

Did you mean literally 90% of my male OCs?

77. Saviour - LIGHTS

The first LIGHTS song I ever heard and I will defend my favourite singer until the day I die she’s Canadian like me, her family is ADORABLE, SHE is ADORABLE and I love her the end

78. Jersey - Mayday Parade

This goes with every WIP I’ve ever conceived and literally none of them are set in Jersey

79. The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

I feel like this song is just a universal mood but no one can explain exactly why

80. C’mon - Panic! At The Disco

Wholesome(TM)

81. Sunshine Riptide - Fall Out Boy

Interlude Playlist - I imagine Morgan singing it and that might end up happening in canon but idk yet...

82. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

Easily in the top 3 Neil Diamond songs if not the top, fight me.

83. First Date - blink-182

Literally just such an adorable song, blink-182 is the best

84. Last Hope - Paramore

Mostly a Selena song (Interlude) but idk I’ve destroyed many OCs wills to live so

85. Black Sheep - Metric

@spotify please put the Brie Larson version from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World on your streaming service I’m begging you - a very gay

86. When You Were Young - The Killers

Good song, real jam, where’s Mr. Brightside, spotify, where is it????

87. Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte

A certified bop

88. All I Want - A Day To Remember

A song for my greedier OCs who just want to stop being tortured but yknow what children life aint fair

89. The Kids From Yesterday - My Chemical Romance

Put this in any of my WIPs really...

90. Threshold - Sex Bob-Omb

Try to tell me the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World soundtrack isn’t lit

91. Sorrow - Flyleaf

Blood Bound (Book 3)

92. Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

You know when you’re writing intense battles or going to get a tattoo and need a playlist of War Songs? This is like the first one on my War Songs playlist

93. Jesus Of Suburbia - Green Day

A staple in the punk rock genre

94. Neon Gravestones - Twenty One Pilots

Ngl I sobbed when I first heard this one so

95. Pressure - Paramore

Very vocal on the Interlude playlist

96. Starlight - Muse

I first got into Muse because it fueled Twilight but yknow what they’re still a damn good group and Supermassive Black Hole carried the baseball scene which was an astounding piece of cinema so

97. Sleepless in Phoenix - blessthefall

It’s literally just my favourite blessthefall song, fight me

98. Kids In The Dark - All Time Low

My mood for when my dad tells me “you’re 20 you should be able to figure it out” like excuse me for not learning how the entire world works the second I turned 18...

99. Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time - Panic! At The Disco

Refer to My Own Worst Enemy. Add drugs. I’ve never done drugs but..

100. Feeling This - blink-182

*screams I’m Feeling This at regular intervals* (I have no explanation it’s just a BOP)

#music #spotify #spotify 2018 #top songs 2018 #playlist #spotify playlist

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thorne93 · 7 years ago

Text

Unexpected Guest (Part 9)

Prompt: Imagine working a party and seeing a mysteriously handsome man who captures your entire attention. There’s one catch: you’re engaged to a different man.

Warnings: angst, fighting, negative relationships, flirting, language, smoking (cigs? Is that even a warning? idk)…

Word Count: 3100

Notes: Inspired by Gorgeous - Taylor Swift…Beta’d by my amazing @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and translated by her because she’s perfect. I’m so blessed to call you a friend, love. OFC/OC Jeremy

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please@superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaeling

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Following all of Ida’s advice, you relaxed, as best you could, napping, lying in the tub, and doing mindless things on the computer. Way late into the evening, you decided it was time to text Jeremy.

“When do you want to come get your stuff?”

About twenty minutes later, you got a response. “How about Wednesday? I’m off.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be at work and stay out of your way.”

“Okay.”

You sighed and put the phone back on your nightstand, wondering if you should do what Ida said to do next…

You mulled it over for a long time, and ultimately, you knew you needed to talk to Bill sooner rather than later. With that knowledge, you shot him a text as well.

“Hey…I wanted to talk about last night.”

Within five minutes, you got a text back. “Sure. You want me to call you now?”

“No. Not today. I’m sort of dealing with something. Does tomorrow work? We could get lunch or dinner…”

“Dinner would be better. 6? Restaurant or do you want to come to my house or?”

“We should do it at my house, I think.”

“Fair enough. I’ll be over at 6. What would you like? I’ll pick us up something.”

“Asian’s fine.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you later then.”

—————

The next night came and you were more nervous than you thought you would be. How could you do this? What would you talk about? What could you talk about? Do you tell him you left Jeremy first or do you apologize for slapping him and the fight? What if you chickened out and didn’t tell him anything? Maybe you could just let the words come as they may.

You’d been pacing the floor all day, cleaning like a madwoman just to drown out the thoughts in your head, to distract yourself from the millions of dizzying questions and thoughts whirling in your head.

This had to be done, you kept repeating in your head, to try and help some of your nerves. It seemed to help calm you a bit, until he actually arrived.

The doorbell chimed throughout the house and you jumped, your heart racing. You stilled where you stood, forgetting how to move. A few moments went by before the chime echoed through the house again. Finally, you stirred, forcing your limbs forward to the door.

Once you reached the handle, you gripped it for a second, took a deep breath, and pulled it open to reveal Bill, those familiar butterflies slamming into every inch of your torso.

“Bill…Hi,” you greeted awkwardly as he stood there with the food.

“Hey,” he softly greeted back. “So…can I come in or are we gonna talk like this all night?” he asked, a smile playing at his lips.

“Oh, right,” you said, shaking your head and moving aside to let him in and gesturing to the room.

He slipped inside and you closed the door.

“Where do you wanna…?” he asked, letting the question hang in the air.

“We can sit on the couch and eat. The dining room table is a little…formal,” you said.

He nodded. “Alright. Cool.”

The tension was so thick you could barely breathe. Not the good kind of tension either.

“Right here’s good,” you said as you led him over to the couch and coffee table. He sat the food down on the table and divvied out the dishes between you. After the food was all sorted, the two of you didn’t really start to eat. You had picked up your plates, picking at your food, but both of you seemed rather preoccupied. The silence surrounded the air around you two for a long time, before you decided to speak.

“I wanted to say–” you started.

“About the other day–” Bill began.

The two of you stopped and smiled fondly as you realized you talked over each other.

“Sorry. Do you mind if I go first?” you asked kindly.

“No, go ahead,” he allowed, setting his plate down on the coffee table and turning to you to give you his full attention.

“Well…first off…I wanted to say I’m sorry about slapping you the other day. I…I was upset and out of line. I mean, you shouldn’t have kissed me, but you didn’t deserve to be slapped. I should’ve just pushed you away. So I am really sorry about hitting you.”

“I kind of did,” he offered with a shrug. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, you’re right. I don’t really regret it, to be honest. But I should never have just kissed you without your permission, engaged or not.”

Your eyebrows twitched up in a curious manner. “Since you brought it up…I…broke up with Jeremy.”

Bill’s eyes went wide as he stared at you, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Really? When? Why?”

“I think we both know why,” you said evenly. “And I did it on the night of my birthday. Turns out, I got home, he wasn’t here because he’d been out drinking. And he wasn’t answering my texts or calls because apparently some waitress at a bar had his phone for some game they were playing…So…yeah…And when I confronted him on why he wasn’t there, he called it ‘one lousy birthday’ and said that I wouldn’t even want him there…”

Bill didn’t know what to say. Does he offer his sorrows? Sorrows he didn’t feel? He was over the moon you were out of that relationship. But was your heart broken? Did he end a relationship with his presence and words? Does he congratulate you for getting out of a terrible relationship? Does he tell you he’s happy for you? Bill had never been in a situation like this. He must be privy to your current pain, and yet, he doesn’t want to lie to you or hide that he is indeed happy that you’re out of the relationship.

“The funny part was…he was right…I didn’t really miss him. I was just…worried what everyone would think. Worried people would wonder why my own fiance wouldn’t come to my birthday party. Truth was…I was more than happy that it was you there. Hell, if it was just you and Ida I would’ve been just as happy as I was with everyone there.”

Bill smiled softly at this, glad he could make you happy on your birthday, even if he felt as though he ruined it.

“He and I had another huge fight and…when I realized, on my birthday, on the one day you’re supposed to not be selfish, and put all the other bullshit aside, he couldn’t even do that. Instead, he went out with friends, didn’t tell me where, possibly cheated on me…If he did it any other night, it wouldn’t be quite as bad. But on my birthday, he basically told me to fuck off…”

‘Y/N, I’m really sorry,” he offered with a sad, genuine smile.

You laughed gently, no humor in the sound. “No, you’re not.”

“I am,” he retorted softly. “I am sorry, if you’re hurting. I never wanted Jeremy to hurt you or treat you like that. If he treated you like a queen, I would be okay with it…But…he didn’t and I couldn’t stand seeing you deserving so much more.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I know. I just hate that it took me so long to see it….I think…for a long time, I was fooling myself saying it was a rough patch, or that we were stressed with work, or that he was worried about his band…But that’s just not true. It wasn’t work or anything else. It was us…Not being compatible. Somewhere along the way, he stopped working for us, caring for me, and…and I fell out of love without realizing it.”

“So you’re not…not in pain?” he wondered, his brows knitting together in concern.

You shrugged. “Not really. Not so far. Maybe I’m in shock. I don’t know. I know I’m going to miss things like seeing his family, some of our memories together but…it’s for the best.”

“I’m glad you see it that way,” he responded quietly.

“Me too. I’m sure, at some point, one day, it may hurt, or I may wonder if I threw it all away…but today, right now…I feel fine with it.”

“Good…That…sort of brings me to my point,” he said, frowning a bit.

“What’s that?” you asked.

“Well…I meant everything I said to you. I am in love with you and that’s not going to just go away….I know you just ended a long engagement, and it’s not fair of me to come at you with this, to throw all of this on your plate…I shouldn’t even be doing this but…I…I just wonder if there is room in your future for me? I get it might not be right now, it might not be in a few months…But…I know I would wait for you, however long it takes you to be ready.”

You nodded slowly, chewing your lip. You knew you two would talk about this, that was the whole point in him coming over, was to address the fact that you were both in love and you wanted each other, but you just came out of an engagement. Not only would it send up red flags to friends and family, even if they were taken out of the equation, it still left you with your own reservations.

“I…I know I do still love you,” you started. “I know I want to give us a shot. I can’t deny the way you make me feel. I don’t want to wait…But I’m also not sure it’s a good idea to just dive from one really bad, failed relationship into a brand new one.”

“So…what are you saying?” he questioned. “Are you saying you want to date or no?”

You shrugged and laughed, the laugh some how releasing some of the pressure on you as you realized how much your life was a mess right now. “I really don’t know.”

“What does your gut tell you?” he asked.

“It tells me…to just dive into this…into us. My gut says to just go with this feeling. To follow my heart. But my mind is telling me that it could be a mistake. What if you turn into a rebound or…or we end up like Jeremy and I did?”

“Do you really think we will? I know for me, you’re not some fleeting infatuation. I am head over heels for you. I’d walk through fire for you. So, it’s really up to you if you make me a rebound.”

“I don’t think you would be,” you admitted. “I’ve never felt this way, this strongly for anyone.”

“Do you think we would end up falling out of love?”

“No,” you confessed. “But I didn’t think Jeremy and I would either.”

“Think back,” he gently commanded. “When you and Jeremy were dating, did you really think he was the love of your life?”

Your eyes fell to the floor as you thought. You thought back to first moving in together, to the night he proposed, to the first few dates. You tried to remember the happiest times with him, but even the happiest times didn’t even compare to the worst times with Bill. Even slapping him as you were half in tears on your ruined birthday felt more like love than anything you and Jeremy had ever shared.

“No, never.”

He chewed his lip as his hand ventured slowly to your hands in your lap. He picked them up and held them, his thumb making mindless patterns on them. “I can’t tell you to abandon what your mind is telling you. Nor can I tell you to just give us a chance….But as far as I’m concerned, one day, I would like to give us a chance. I don’t want to go through life wondering if you were the one who got away. I don’t want to go through life knowing we never gave it our best shot. To me, we should live by ‘It’s better to have loved and have lost, than never to have loved at all.’”

You smiled at his phrase. It was one you believed in wholeheartedly. You didn’t want to live through life with worries, regrets, wondering, what-ifs…You didn’t want them clouding your heart. But you also didn’t want to dive into a guaranteed disaster.

“I think I want that too. I don’t want us to miss our chance.”

He smiled an adorable, gorgeous smile at you. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you said, smiling yourself and nodding.

“So…you want to start dating now, or…?” he questioned as he pulled his bottom lip in, chewing on it while he eyed you.

“No, I don’t think I’m quite ready for that but….What do you say we just keep going as things were? Hang out as friends, go out, and when the time is right to take it to the next level, we’ll know?” you offered with a meek smile.

He nodded in response. “Yeah, we can definitely do that.”

“You sure? I don’t want you to feel like you’re waiting around and get impatient. To be honest, I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but I think it will be soon. I mean…I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and it’s taking a lot not to give in now, but some part of me, some wise part of me buried deep somewhere says we should give my last relationship time to cool off before either of us jump into anything….Is that okay?”

He scooted closer to you and stared into your eyes. “Of course it is. I’m happy to go slow with you.”

“Thanks,” you breathed.

After that, the two of you picked up your dinners and ate, the tension had completely melted away as you slipped into conversation.

—————————-

The following day, Jeremy came to pick up his things while you were at work. Yet, he didn’t seem to understand that you didn’t want to talk about the breakup or him or anything else, because when you got there, he was still at the house.

As soon as you pulled up and saw his truck you rolled your eyes and nearly turned around, but you decided you wouldn’t be ran out of your own house, so you got out and went inside, to find him sitting at the bar in the kitchen.

“Did you need my help with something?” you asked dryly as you came in and hung your purse and got settled in.

“No,” he answered, standing. “I wanted us to talk.”

“I hope you aren’t wanting to get back together,” you stated, ready to fight this.

He shook his head. “No…That’s not it. I…I know we’re over for good. I just want to know…well…what happened I guess. Why did we break up?”

For a moment, you almost wanted to scream, “you seriously don’t know?” but you were actually a little proud of him for wanting to know. To know he cared at least a little bit to know what happened to make it all fall apart.

“Honestly, you were turning into the man I never wanted. When we first started going out, you had some good drive, some great ambitions with the band and everything…But then slowly but surely, you started to give up. You didn’t push yourself at work, you didn’t work hard with the band, you just hung out with the guys. You didn’t help me around the house. It’s like as soon as we got engaged you turned into a man from the 40’s and expected me to do everything around the house–cook, clean, do laundry–and that you didn’t have to do any of it.”

You took a breath. You didn’t want this to end up in another screaming match, you just wanted to calmly explain why you left.

“Jeremy, I have dreams, ambitions, things I want to do with my life. And your lack of commitment was becoming painfully evident. For other girls, that might be okay. We’re only in our mid-twenties, but…For me, I’m ready to start a family, keep growing my business, make this house a home…Does that make sense?”

Jeremy nodded, his eyes cast down solemnly.

“Yeah…No I get that. Guess I just realized it too late…So you’re not leaving me for Bill?” he asked and you ground your teeth instinctively.

“No, Jeremy. I’m not. I’m not leaving you for anyone but myself. It’ll be better for both of us. You don’t like my ‘nagging’ and I don’t like your lack of drive. I think we’ll be happier this way.”

“Yeah…Maybe…So there’s nobody else?”

“Nope. Just..us not being compatible, Jeremy.”

He nodded again. “Okay. Alright. I can live with that. I just needed some closure I guess. Thanks for telling me.”

“Sure,” you responded softly.

“Well…I got my stuff in the truck, so I’ll go ahead and go. I’ll be back for some more stuff. I got the TV and my clothes, and my toothbrush so…I still need to grab some stuff.”

“No, yeah, that’s fine,” you assured.

“Well…thanks again for letting me know. I’ll get out of your hair” he said as he meandered over to the door and you followed him, to open it for him.

You had nothing to say to him. Well, actually, in a way, you had about a million things to say to him. To ask him why he stopped caring, loving, or why he just gave up. To ask him why he was okay with this and wasn’t fighting for you back. To ask why he was just okay giving up this engagement. To ask why he gave it all up.

Maybe one day you would ask him, but right now, you didn’t want to jump down that rabbit hole. It would just be a recipe for disaster.

He stood in the doorway, neither of you knowing if you should hug or how exactly to end this interaction so you just said, “Goodnight, Jeremy, thanks for coming by to get that stuff.”

“Yeah…”

He looked down, pursing his lips before he bobbed his head slightly and turned to leave. The sight of him walking away sent a pang of guilt into your chest, but another thing accompanied it…relief.

#unexpected guest #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard fic #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgård x reader

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