#idk i just think they’re neat (they’re both failing school)

[tameandnormalthoughts]

I think they’re neat

~☀️

[altruistic-meme]

Okay i was originally going to try to make a nice and neat little post about heartstopper and some of my thoughts, as well as a separate post about what i like about the comics vs. the tv show. 

Uh. So. I can’t actually corral my thoughts to be coherent enough for that, so here are some various assorted thoughts about it all instead <3 put under a cut bc it is long and rambley and a mess

[spoiler warning for the comics if you haven't read them]

Idk what it is, but I love comic Charlie a LOT. Like. A LOT a lot. There is just something about his character in the comics, his banter, the way he behaves that I love so much more in the comics than the show. I feel almost like the characters aren’t quite the same person, though I do love them both. I just connected so much more with comic Charlie.

Semi-related but I also feel like we get a much more clear picture of his OCD and the attached anxieties in the comics. 

HMMM okay or maybe not. Idk. I think maybe we can see more of Charlie’s OCD in the show through his desire to make everything easy and perfect for Nick, even when it hurts him too. 

He’s popular in the comics!!! It’s mentioned multiple times by other characters that Charlie is popular at school!!! And I think that’s actually a really interesting look at his character. He was bullied for most of y9 and yet the rugby lads think he’s a popular kid in y10. Despite this, we don’t actually see Charlie interacting with basically anyone but the other main characters, and I think that kind of reflects how Charlie views himself. On the way back from Paris, he asks Nick “does this mean I’m a cool kid now?” he doesn’t think people see him as cool but like I said, other characters have said he’s popular. They must have gotten that idea from SOMEWHERE right? But Charlie’s own poor self-esteem means he still doesn’t actually believe he’s cool or that people like him. I don’t know if there was a point to this rant but. Charlie is a popular boy.

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE KIDS WHO STOPPED THE BULLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, in the comics Charlie really is a nerd in a way he isn’t in the show. He helps Nick with his math and yells at him for distracting him from his homework. I get why this change happened in the show–it gives us a better idea of the strained relationship that Charlie has with his mom while also showing us that his dad tries to support him but often fails–but I really like it in the comics because Nick calls him a nerd but it’s less obvious in the show how nerdy he really is. 

That said obviously I also ADORE getting to explore the other characters and their lives and everything in the show. I love getting to see more of them. (But I also love how we DON’T always get all the information in the comics, but that’s just because I love when there are background stories happening that we don’t see through the main storyline. This event/love is not unique to Heartstopper) 

I love Imogen!!! I really like that it’s showing her as someone who is sort trying to become friends with the group and that isn’t always a fast or easy process. She goes to the sleepover with them and she hangs out with them in Paris, but she’s doesn’t leave Prom with them or anything. Also, I love the possibility that she is discovering that she’s queer too!! And that her halfway joining of their friend group leads to her discovering herself bc i feel like that’s so true to real life.

I am so curious about the Isaac vs. Aled thing and I wonder if Aled will appear in one of the later seasons, or if he is just not in the show at all. And Isaac! I assume he’s in some extra content I haven’t seen? Don’t get me wrong ofc, I love Isaac and his storyline is SO SO IMPORTANT as someone who is asexual myself. I am so glad that there is the representation of someone discovering that they’re aroace. I do assume that’s part of the reason for him being the 4th friend as opposed to Aled? Idk. 

I’M SO SAD ABOUT OLIVER BEING COMPLETELY OMITTED FROM THE SHOW!!! I assume there is an interview or something where Alice Oseman explains why Oliver wasn’t in the show, but I haven’t seen it and rn I will simply cry about it. I love him and I wish he had been included. 

I am also SO CURIOUS how the rest of the show will look!! I know that I read somewhere that s3 should be the contents of book 4, and that s4/s5 if they get them would be books 5/6 respectively. And I’m so intrigued. Because book 4 is the heaviest of them all so far, and I wonder how it will be translated to the screen. Especially the Sept-Dec timeskip! Will we see that time, especially considering the other character’s storylines??? This wasn’t an issue in the comics since they focus solely on Nick/Charlie, but with all of the other characters it would be more difficult to just skip that whole time. Will it just be a summary of events like in the comics, with flashes to what has happened? Or will we get a more explicit idea of everything?? (probably not including Charlie’s sh relapses or the night in October, but maybe the This Winter content???) i am SO excited for October though so all my questions can be answered :’)

OH something that was super interesting to me was a very small change in dialogue during the scene where Charlie first tells Nick about his sh. In the show, when Nick asks if he still does it Charlie just says “No.” but in the comics he says “No! I mean- hardly ever” and it’s such a small change but it speaks volumes too in the difference between the comic and the show. I’m not really sure what it’s saying though. Was show Charlie just more consistently in a better place where he feels like it’s stopped and won’t happen again? Was comic Charlie just more honest in this moment in acknowledging that it has still happened since? I’m not sure!!! But i’ve spent WAYYY too much time thinking about this one tiny change in dialogue!!!

Another thing is like, I really liked how the comics handled Nick’s dad. Them not meeting in Paris and then him missing Nick’s birthday. It really hits hard exactly how negligent he is, and it gives space for Charlie to be there for Nick when he’s upset. I do like how it went in the show as well, because it does still get everything across beautifully, but idk. I think mostly I’m just remembering the shot of Nick opening the door to greet Charlie on his birthday looking heartbroken and upset about his dad canceling and how hard that hit when i first read it. (keep in mind that i watched the show before reading the comics, so i was surprised at first to learn that they didn’t meet up in Paris! Let alone that he missed Nick’s birthday TOO!!)

Okay I think that’s it for right now. I have largely been spinning comic Charlie in the microwave in my mind bc OUGH i relate to him too much. I will probably come back at some point with more thoughts, but until then. Hope you enjoyed my brief insanity.

[hunt4tlow]

WAIT you mentioned that you stanned Willow before ASIAS, when DID you start stanning her?? for me, I've always loved her, but i started stanning her when I saw her lifting weights and bossing Amity around in FATCDP😭

“stanning” lol I’ve just always thought she was neat. Ironically it was during the great willow drought of season 2a that made me really see the potential in her character that had gone mostly overlooked

for starters there’s her dads! Even though they never really get never really proper focus in an episode (despite the blight parents getting several… ugh.) they managed to grab my interest in that single interaction they DID have with willow. I especially find it interesting how Harvey is willing to drop everything for willows education, and when we later learn he was an abominations student at a notoriously competitive school, it adds a whole new layer of context for why he was so adamant that willow stay in that track despite her obvious struggles. He probably started off much the same way as willow, and had to work his way to the top, and genuinely believes that this is what is best for willows future, even if it pains him to watch his daughter cry after once again failing to construct an abomination for homework. I would have LOVED to see an episode in season 1 or even season 2 examining how this affected their bond, think about it: a younger willow who knows that her dads only want what’s best for her, and they support her no matter how badly she’s doing, but she knows deep down that she’s not like her papa, abominations aren’t for her and they never will be, but she ALSO knows how important perseverance is to him. This is what I really want to write about at some point so I guess I should save all this for then LOL

S2a is also when I started shipping huntlow hehehe!!! Bc ohhhhhhh my god the half a witch parallels??? How they both understand what it’s like to be perceived as weak, as someone they’re not???? Ohhhhh man like you just KNOW they would understand each other so much from that shared experience alone. Like on top of all their other shared interests, like hunter having at least a chunk of knowledge about plant properties and willow working out much like hunter probably does regularly in the EC it would make so much sense if they became close friends and potentially something more than that. Then asias happened and 😄😄😄😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

ASIAS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT‼️‼️‼️ idk if I would call it my fav episode anymore since it has some issues but ough it’s definitely my biggest comfort episode aka the one I rewatch the most. Willow finally gets to show off her phenomenal leadership skills as flyer derby captain!!! Now that she’s dropped abominations, flyer derby feels very much like a new way to connect with her dads and it’s so sweet :’) ohhhhhhh and her team??? The entrails??? Beloveds???? I would die for them. And the episode reminds us that willow still has those insecurities despite everything, she’s still healing from the bullying, being “half a witch”, like her flyer derby opponent is her former teacher holyyyy shit. And while I do think they could have cut a little of hunters role in the episode since willow definitely needs the screentime more, I love how well his presence complements her. To him, willow isn’t any of the things she sees herself as in her lowest moments, she’s the captain. She’s fearless and brave and ready to throw hands with a coven head to protect her team. He sees her the way she wants to be seen and it’s so lovely

AND WILLOW BEING SILLY IN TTT IS SO IMPORTANT so many people forget that she’s not the overprotective mum friend or whatever the fuck she’s 15 and she loves poking strangers in the butt with plastic pitchforks and saying “mwahaha!!” and doing fingerguns at the nerd who is so so clearly in love with her!! She can be a strong responsible leader and still be a goofball some of u are just cowards ok. And she loves photography??? The contrast between inner willow burning away her memories of amity because “out of sight, out of mind” to present willow treasuring her time together with her family and friends, capturing the memories in a scrapbook while they all try to get home??? Cries forever. I can talk more if you want. I am normal about fictional characters ok 🙂

[wondernimbus]

ottery st. catchpole — cedric diggory

pairing: cedric diggory x female!reader

request #1: Hi! Do you mind writing a Cedric x reader fic where y/n loves and is the best baker? She hands him a treat and he finds himself slowly falling for for her (idk smth really cute please!) Thanks :))

request #2:  Can you write Cedric and the reader sharing their first kiss together? 🥺

a/n: decided to combine two requests since i thought they’d work well together! 

The muggle village of Ottery St. Catchpole was a fascinating place.

The first time Cedric had gone there at age eight, he'd thrown on an odd assortment of muggle clothes: a pink strawberry-patterned shirt, overly large bell-bottoms from his father's closet, and a pair of flip-flops. He learned quickly that that was not the kind of attire that would get him unnoticed by the Muggles—rather the opposite, actually, as he earned odd stares everywhere he went. But there were no "ordinary" Muggle clothes in his closet and nor did his father, so the next time he went to the village and came across a clothesline hanging unguarded outside of a Muggle house, he snatched himself two shirts and a pair of jeans and made sure to leave a thank you note under their door.

Free to wander the village without skeptical stares of Muggles following him everywhere, curious, eight-year-old Cedric made sure to explore every inch of it from the park to the chapel to the tavern.

But his most favorite, perhaps, was the bakery.

It was a quaint little place, tucked away in the corner away from the bustling main road. Its battered sign read "Old Corner Bakery", and underneath it there was a window display of the most delicious, succulent-looking pastries Cedric had ever seen in his life. It looked—though he would never let her hear him say it—even better than the ones his mother would make at home.

And so one day, Cedric, oblivious to the workings of the Muggle world and the fact that their currency was very much different from theirs, walked through the door, marched right up to the counter where his tiny head only barely peeked out from, and held up a single golden galleon. "One of those, please," he told the old lady behind the cashier, pointing at a mouth-watering custard tart on display.

The old lady reached out for the galleon, baffled. "What is this?"

"For a custard tart," replied Cedric, handing it to her.

"I've never seen anything like this," she said in wonder, holding the galleon up to the light. "Good grief, is this real gold?"

Cedric frowned, puzzled. "It''s a galleon."

The lady's face fell. Scowling, she handed it back to him. "So it's a toy," she sniffed. "I would tell you to scram, but I've seen you pass by here ogling at my pastries once or twice before. I'll give you one for free. What was it you wanted again?"

Cedric, although a little confused by how she wouldn't take his galleon, beamed in delight. If it was for free, he wasn't going to complain.

And so Cedric walked out of the bakery a few moments later with half a custard tart in his hands and the other half already snug in his stomach. He wondered to himself if all Muggles were like this; if he went to that shop near the town square, would he get more stuff for free?

He tried, and needless to say, failed.

The next day, Cedric came back to the bakery bearing two sickles. As happy as getting free food made him, something about exploiting an old woman's kindness didn't sit right with him. If she didn't want the galleon, maybe she would take a sickle instead.

But when he walked through the bakery doors, he found that the old woman was nowhere to be seen. Instead, in her place behind the cashier, there was a little girl about his age.

"Welcome to Old Corner Bakery!" she beamed, childish face shining brightly. "How may I help you?"

Cedric drew towards her, a pout on his face. "Where's the old lady?"

"The old lady?" she asked. "Oh, you mean grandma!"

He nodded.

"She's in the kitchen—baking, you know. I handle customers like you when she's too busy and I'm not doing homework," the little girl explained, grinning.

"Oh," said Cedric. "In that case, I want a cauldron cake!"

She tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed. "What's that?"

"A cauldron cake," he repeated. "Have you not got those here?"

Bottom lip jutting out in thought, the little girl scratched her head and hopped off of the stool she was apparently standing on to look over the cashier; as soon as she did, she disappeared behind the counter and into the kitchen. "Grandma!"

The familiar voice of the old lady replied, "Yes, dear?"

"Do we have cauldron cakes?"

"What?"

Cedric waited patiently by the counter, hands fiddling with the two sickles he held in his hands. "Cauldron cakes, grandma!" the little girl yelled louder.

"Never heard of 'em!" the old lady replied from the kitchen.

A moment later, the little girl was clambering back onto her stool behind the cashier. "I don't think we have those here," she told Cedric, and then, in a curious tone, "They sound delicious, though! What are they?"

A wide smile stretched across Cedric's round face—he looked as though he'd been waiting to be asked that for centuries. At a rapid pace, he began to gush, "They're chocolate cakes shaped like cauldrons and they've got melted chocolate in them and sometimes my mum uses this spell so that the chocolate doesn't run out and you can keep eating forever. She takes off the spell sometimes, though, because she says if I keep eating I'll get as fat as dad."

The little girl giggled, but then, with her eyes wide, asked, "Did you say spells? Like magic? The kind wizards and witches use?"

Cedric's eyes grew as wide as, if not even wider, than hers. He took a quick step back and cleared his throat, eyes darting around the bakery in panic. He'd forgotten, for a moment, that she was a Muggle—he'd almost revealed the secret of the wizarding world to her and defied his parents' warnings!

"Um," Cedric stammered, stuffing his two sickles back into his pocket. "Nevermind. Sorry!"

And just like that, he dashed out of the bakery, leaving the little girl staring after him, thoroughly intrigued.

—

Cedric did not go back to the village the next day under the irrational fear of accidentally revealing the wizarding world's biggest secret; that magic existed. Obviously, an eight-year-old wizard letting such a thing slip to yet another eight-year-old Muggle would little affect the wizarding world, but Cedric, childish and oblivious as he was, did not want to take any risks.

And so it took him a week before he mustered up the courage to go back into the village. He hadn't been planning to go into the bakery—he only hoped to catch a glimpse of the pastries by the window—but he found that the little girl was sitting outside on the front steps, munching on a piece of bread.

Mere seconds from legging it, the girl looked up and their eyes met. "Hey!" she called out, perking up. "I know you!"

Cedric froze from where he stood several feet away. He thought it'd be rude to bolt when she'd already noticed him, and so he walked forward tentatively, half-expecting her to start badgering him with questions about wizards and witches and magic. But she only patted the empty space next to her and beckoned him to sit down, that same cheery smile on her face that Cedric had seen a week ago.

He sat next to her on the stone steps, crossed arms propped on his knees as he turned his head to look at her. She was tearing the bread she held in her hands into two halves, the other half of which she handed to him.

"Thank you," said Cedric, taking it.

"You're welcome!" the little girl replied, face positively glowing with the warmth of a thousand suns. Taking a bite out of her now considerably smaller chunk of bread, she tilted her head and said, "I don't think I've ever seen you at school before."

He took a bite out of his own, eyes skittering away to look at the pavement. "My parents teach me school stuff at home," he told her. It wasn't a complete lie, although he guessed that the things that she learned in her Muggle school were a stark contrast to the magic he learned from his mum and dad.

"Oh, that sounds fun!" the little girl said, beaming. "Don't you get sad, though? Not having any kids your age to play with? Assuming you don't have siblings."

"I don't," replied Cedric through a mouthful of bread. It was some sort of strawberry crumpet. "I'm an only child. I suppose it does get lonely, sometimes, but that's why I go out here—to the Mugg—I mean, the village."

She nodded, mouth moving to form an o shape. "Neat. So you don't have homework?"

He shook his head. The girl's shoulders slumped and a frown quickly found its way onto her face. "I wish I didn't get homework," she said sullenly. "They give us a whole stack of it over the summer. I hate it."

Cedric bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't quite like the frown on her face; something about it made him feel unsettled, like something had gone wrong in the world. He nudged her shoulder with his. "It can't be that bad," he said, offering her a tiny smile. "There's.. there's worse things than homework. Like—I don't know—losing ekleksiti or whatever you call it.. or unintentionally fumbling with the Quaffle and messing up your team's goal.."

"You mean the football?"

"Yeah.." Whatever that was.

She giggled, turning to smile at him. "You're funny."

There was something about her tone of voice—along with the overall aura that she carried—that awfully reminded Cedric of summer days playing Quidditch outside with his family and warm wind in his face and lying in the grass seeing the clouds drifting above him.

It was that feeling that made it easy for Cedric to forget almost immediately about his illogical fear of exposing the magical world. It was what had him smiling back at her, round face just as bright and filled with the kind of mirthful innocence only children would have.

—

Cedric came back to the bakery the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. Both the little girl—who he learned was named [Y/N]—and her kind, albeit slightly cranky old grandmother, grew fond of him. The latter would make sure to bake him his favorite custard tarts, and [Y/N] would sit with him by the front steps of the bakery, talking about every tiny thing their brains came up with.

"Have you got a favorite movie?" [Y/N] asked him one day.

"A favorite what?"

"A movie. Don't tell me you've never seen one!"

Cedric scratched the back of his neck, abashed. "I don't think so. Is that a Mu—I mean, what is it?"

Looking utterly astounded, [Y/N] began to ramble on about moving pictures and fairytales and stories.

"I've seen moving pictures—but you're telling me they don't talk to you?" quizzed Cedric dubiously.

Frowning, she nodded. "The pictures talk to each other. Sort of. Although it would be cool if they talked to us, don't you think?"

Still trying to wrap his head around the concept of images that don't talk to you but talk to other images whilst following a story of sorts, Cedric rubbed his forehead. "This is giving me a headache."

[Y/N] giggled, shoving the last of her custard tart into her mouth. "Let's go see one one day! A movie, I mean. It'll be fun!"

Prying his palm away from his face, Cedric nodded and couldn't help but grin right back at her. The excited gleam in her eyes shone with the promise of more than just one day seeing a movie; it glowed with the promise of a friendship that would last for a long, long time. That gleam of promise was reflected in Cedric's own gaze, and rest assured it would stay there in the rest of the years to come.

—

Three years seemed to pass by in a blur of endless chatter, ridiculous inside-jokes, and shared pastries out by the bakery's front steps. The pair grew and their friendship did so along with them. Cedric learned to grow cautious about what he had come to call his "magical secret", although he suspected that [Y/N] had started to grow skeptical along the way despite her never bringing it up.

When his letter from Hogwarts arrived, Cedric knew that he had to tell [Y/N]—that, or make up some excuse. Or perhaps invent something akin to the truth, but not quite.

And so it went like this: "My parents are sending me to school."

[Y/N]'s eyes widened. They were sitting in their usual spot out by the bakery's stone steps, identical biscuits in their hands. Out of nowhere, she smacked Cedric's shoulder; he turned to face her, clutching the spot where she'd hit him. "What was that for?" asked Cedric, eyes as wide as hers.

She smacked him again, bouncing with the excitement of a five-year-old child waking up on Christmas day. "That's great!" she squealed, stuffing her biscuit in her mouth and chewing frantically. "I can introduce you to all my friends and we'll get to see each other everyday and not just on the weekends!"

Cedric's heart sank. "Um.."

"And we can do homework together and I won't have to walk back home alone and—"

"[Y/N], I'm not going to your school."

She paused. Her face fell and drooped into a frown so disappointed that Cedric had to tear his gaze away. "What—where are you going, then?"

He scratched the back of his neck, lips pressed together in a weak grimace. "Somewhere far."

[Y/N]'s brows were furrowed. "Where?"

"I don't know. Somewhere in Scotland, I think. I'll be back home for the summer, though."

Her shoulders had slumped, and so had Cedric's. The disappointment was evident in the sulky lines of her face and it was making Cedric feel all sorts of things he normally wouldn't feel around her; incredibly downcast being one of them. He'd known this day was coming one day or another, and so would the day he'd have to leave and not see her for several months—the day that loomed only a week from then.

"When are you leaving?" asked [Y/N], gaze fixed on the pavement, a pout on her tiny face.

"Next week," replied Cedric.

He couldn't bear it. He poked her side, which immediately led to her jumping up and frowning at him. (He'd discovered over time that it was a big tickle spot of hers.) Once he'd gathered her attention, he said in a quiet voice, "I've got a secret. Do you want to hear it?"

Still looking somewhat sullen, she nodded. [Y/N] would never pass up a chance to discover some big, mysterious secret, no matter her mood.

And just because he wanted to cheer her up, along with the fact that he knew he couldn't keep this from her—his best friend of three years who knew everything about him from his favorite pair of socks to his biggest fears—he leaned in, eyes wide, and whispered in a hushed tone, "I'm going to a school for wizards."

She drew back, brows pulled in together in the middle in pure incredulity as said, "You're joking."

"No," said Cedric, grinning. And then, in that same hushed voice, "You have to promise me you won't tell anyone, okay?"

Still looking utterly bewildered, [Y/N] nodded slowly, gaze locked with his.

"I can show you magic, if you like."

At this, her eyes grew wide and a moment later she was nodding excitedly. "Where? When? How?"

"Right now!" replied Cedric, relieved at the smile that split her face and replaced the disappointed frown from before. "Wait here, okay? I'll be back!" And then he sprang to his feet and dashed off.

Cedric was true to his word; he came back half an hour later bearing a mysterious purple package in his hands. [Y/N] was still sitting patiently where he'd left, and she looked up at him calling her name.

"What is that?" she asked, hands reaching out for the box, which Cedric handed to her. Turning it over in her hands, she saw the words "Chocolate Frog" written across the paper lid in shiny golden letters.

"Open it!" Cedric urged, sitting down next to her.

And so she did. Carefully opening the lid of the octagon-shaped box, she let out a loud shriek as a chocolate-colored pair of squirming frog legs poked out from behind it. Out of surprise, the package fell from her hands and onto the pavement, but Cedric's instincts were quick; he hurriedly hopped off the steps to grab the package, hands firmly clamped around it as he brought it back to her with a wide smile on his snickering face.

"Guess you don't scare easy, huh?" he grinned, teasing. "It can get away if you don't hold onto it as soon as you open the package. See, watch."

Heart still beating rapidly, she leaned over with wide eyes and a curious gaze, watching as Cedric carefully opened the lid. He caught something that, sure enough, looked like chocolate—but it was moving in his clasped fist.

"A chocolate frog," said [Y/N], eyes the size of golf-balls.

"Yep," said Cedric, bringing the still struggling treat to his lips and taking a huge chunk out of it. "Don't worry—it's not an actual frog. Just shaped to look like it."

Gobsmacked, [Y/N] stared as he handed her the bottom half of the chocolate frog, the legs of which was still squirming. "That's—woah," excitement bubbling in the pit of her stomach at having witnessed actual magic (albeit in the form of the so-called chocolate frog), she brought it to her mouth, where it instantly stopped moving and dissolved into a creamy mess of delicious chocolate.

Eyes glinting with the same elation that was in hers, Cedric sat down next to her and pulled a card out of the box. He handed it to her.

[Y/N] stared down at the small card in the palm of her hands. "Woah," she said again, voice a stunned whisper. Imprinted on the card was a photo of an old man whose beard stretched all the way down to his waist. He was wearing sparkling magenta robes and looking straight at her, a gentle twinkle in his wizened, old eyes. An odd name was emblazoned under his picture—"Albus Dumbledore"—but then he reached up to adjust the spectacles on the bridge of his nose, and [Y/N] let out another surprised gasp. "He moved!"

Cedric was grinning. "Magic, I told you!"

Exhilarated, [Y/N] looked back down at the card in her hands. The old man—Dumbledore—winked at her through his half-moon spectacles. "Is he—" she swallowed, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, "Is he a wizard?"

Cedric nodded, beaming. "And so am I."

For a few seconds, [Y/N] could do no more than open and close her mouth in pure shock. All of this was a lot to take in—but perhaps her being of the mere age eleven helped, because while the ordinary Muggle adult would have downright refused to believe it, an imaginative young girl like her who had yet to discover the world took the news kindly.

"I'd show you more magic," Cedric said bashfully, "But I don't really know how to yet. That's why I'm going to Hogwarts—the school I was talking about, you know—so I can learn how to use magic. Spells and potions and all of that stuff."

At this, [Y/N]'s lips once more drooped with the threat of yet another painful frown, but she picked it back up with a small smile. "Here," she swiveled around to face him on the steps, knees knocking with his. Holding her pinky finger up between them, she said, "You promise me you'll write, okay? And you have to tell me about all the stuff that you learn there and all the other wizards and witches you meet—there are witches, right?"

Cedric nodded, lips pressed together in a tiny smile as he laced his pinky finger through hers. "I promise. Expect there'll be owls knocking on your window every week or so."

Her eyes widened once more. "Owls?"

He grinned. "We use owls to send letters and stuff around."

"Oh. Neat."

They broke out into a fit of giggles. "Okay," said Cedric, pulling his pinky finger away. "But you have to promise me you'll keep it a secret."

[Y/N] nodded earnestly, a look of the utmost seriousness crossing over his face as she pressed her palm to her chest like she was swearing an oath. "I'll take it to the grave with me, Ced," she said, eyes sparkling. "Trust me."

—

And trust her he has done, for the past few years of his life. Cedric would leave on the first of September every year, but not before bidding her farewell and promising to write at least once a week. To make up for the time they've lost, he would spend almost every day of the summer and winter break with her. His parents understand; he has long since told them about the Muggle girl at the bakery who his heart has grown close to. And perhaps it is his parents who first notice when the friendship that he has with her begins to blossom into something else. Something more.

"Out to meet with your friend already?" asks his father upon catching Cedric already on his way out of the front door. It's his first day back home from his fifth year at Hogwarts, and he has barely even finished unpacking his bags.

Cedric grins. He is a young man of age sixteen now, no longer the tiny eight-year-old boy he once was when he first met [Y/N] all those years ago. And yet despite all that has changed—despite his broader stature and the fact that he now towers over his father—he is still the same compassionate boy he has always been; the one who has always had a love for pastries and a certain girl at the bakery, although he doesn't quite know it yet.

"She's waiting for me," says Cedric, oddly exhilarated. His heart beating with the anticipation of seeing her for the first time in several months, he waves a brief goodbye to his father and dashes down the hill leading to the Muggle village of Ottery St. Catchpole.

He goes down the same path he always has; past the small patch of trees at the foot of the hill, through the town square, and finally, in front of the bakery. The door is propped open as though it has been waiting for him to enter, and voices waft out onto the street from the inside.

A smile already having found its way onto his face, Cedric takes the front stone steps two at a time before stepping inside.

"Be careful, grandma—oh, no—no, let me do it."

"It's fine, I can—Cedric, dear boy, you're back!"

A tray of freshly-baked cookies are set aside on the counter before a familiar elderly Muggle woman rushes at him and envelops him in a hug, mitten-covered hands wrapping themselves around his middle—the farthest she can reach him at his tall height and her own short legs. Cedric meets [Y/N]'s gaze over her grandmother's shoulder; she is leaning on the counter, lips pressed together in a barely-suppressed smile as her eyes shine with the kind of light that reminds Cedric of everything good in the world.

It takes a while for [Y/N]'s grandmother to stop fussing over him. When she does, she disappears behind the kitchen with the promise of coming out with a fresh batch of his favorite custard tarts.

And then he and [Y/N] are left alone in the bakery, where Cedric wastes no time and hugs her as close to him as he can. He wants to tell her that he'd missed her—terribly so—but he knows that she knows, and so he just holds her to him and hopes that the words come across alright.

A moment later the two of them are outside of the bakery, sitting on the same stone steps they've perched themselves on so many times before.

"So let me get this straight: you intentionally didn't write about the fact that there was a mass murderer inside your school because you didn't want me to worry?"

"Well, the matter was taken care of—"

"And there were soul-sucking demendoids or whatever you call them roaming the castle and you didn't mention it to me in your letters because you—"

"I didn't want you to worry, yes."

[Y/N] stares at him, deadpan. "And I suppose if you suffer a horrible death you won't care to write to me either because you don't want me worrying."

"Well, if I were dead, I'd hardly be able to write to y—"

"Oh, you get my point!" says [Y/N], rolling her eyes, but she's laughing as she shoves him lightly on the shoulder. Sighing dramatically, she shakes her head. "You learn a few magic tricks and suddenly you cut me out of your life."

Cedric scoffs, but his annoyance is only about as convincing as [Y/N]'s, as he has a smile of his own on his face. "I leave a few details out of my letter and suddenly you want to end our friendship."

"I don't want to end it," protests [Y/N]. "I just don't want you keeping out the bad stuff from your letters just because you don't want me to worry. If anything, I want to hear more about the negatives than the positives so I'll know that I'm not the only one having a hard time."

Cedric raises his brows, the smile on his face drooping as he angles his head to look at her face from where she's leaning on his shoulder. "Why? Tough time at school?"

She shrugs, shifting a little. "Kind of. It's ridiculous, actually. My best friend—well, second-best, since you're first—thinks that her boyfriend," she makes a face, "likes me. She didn't talk to me at all during the last few months of school and I highly expect she'll still be an arse about it when we come back after summer. Rubbish, really." Cedric has fallen silent. When she looks up at him, she finds that there is a frown on his face, so immediately she reassures him by saying, "You don't have to worry, Ced. I've got other friends. Better friends—wizard friends. Or friend. Just the one."

Cedric raises his eyebrows at her. His mood has dampened a little; it shows in the disappearance of the crinkled smile lines around his eyes and the way his lips have tugged down.

"Oh, come on," says [Y/N], sitting up straight. "Don't look so bummed. I've told you it's not a big deal."

He looks away, and then, quietly, "I just don't like the idea of you having a hard time."

A grin slowly stretches across her face. A moment later, she starts laughing. "Always so caring, aren't you?" she teases, reaching out to poke his cheek.

Cedric rolls his eyes, clutching her hand and prying it away from his face. "Whatever," he mutters, making a face at her. She giggles and does one right back, and just like that, they're laughing again.

It's incredibly easy for the innocent, youthful part of Cedric to come to the surface during times like these, when he sits down in front of the bakery with his best friend at his side as they return to their naive, childish shelves and bond over everything and nothing with all sorts of pastries clutched in their chubby hands. Cedric finds that, no matter how much time has passed, [Y/N] still feels the same: warm and comforting and reminiscent of home.

—

Time passes as it has always done, and sooner than both Cedric and [Y/N] would have liked, the day of September comes looming above them a mere week away.

They are on one of the many hills surrounding the village of Ottery St. Catchpole—their favorite one, actually; the one that has a perfect view of the village if they sit at the very top, which is what they are doing. The night sky looms above them as they do as they have always done: talk. And whenever they lapse into silence, they bask in the comfort they have always found in one another.

At present, they are laying on their backs on the grass. Usually, they'd be pointing out random shapes they each notice in the clouds, but it is nighttime and only wisps of smoke from the village chimneys drift across the dark blue canvas. There are only a few stars visible through the pollution hanging in the air; "I could count them all on one hand," says [Y/N], arm stretched upwards as though reaching for the sky. "Bit sad, really. I remember when we were kids there were still a lot of them. Sort of."

Cedric, with his gaze similarly glued to the stretch of sky above them, lets out an exhale. "We can see the stars at Hogwarts," he tells her quietly like they're sharing a secret, which, in a way, they are. "We don't even have to go to the Astronomy Tower to see them—when we look up, they're right there. Right above us. It's.."

He trails off.

"Ethereal?" [Y/N] suggests, tone hushed.

Cedric nods. "I wish I could take you to see them, but. You know."

"I'm a—what was it you guys called us lame, non-magical folks again?" she rolls onto her side to face him, arm tucked underneath her head as her eyes narrowed playfully.

"A Muggle," Cedric says, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "And that doesn't make you lame. It just makes you.."

"Non-magical," she snorts.

"Doesn't matter," mumbles Cedric, shifting to turn on his side as well. "You've got a different kind of magic." And his tone is teasing, but there's a hint of underlying emotion hidden beneath that he wonders if [Y/N] picks up on.

"And what's that?" [Y/N] asks, feigning a haughty look. "Is it my—let's see—supernatural charms? Or my mystical beauty?"

Cedric laughs. "Something like that."

Facing her, mere centimeters away, Cedric sees that moonshine is dancing across the skin of her face; he sees the very stars they were speaking of gleaming in her eyes, and all of a sudden the atmosphere changes and he can't quite breathe properly.

The look on his face doesn't go amiss. The playful smile on [Y/N]'s face falls and reveals underneath it something more—something that has Cedric's heart beating wildly in his throat and his lungs seizing up in his chest.

Ethereal, Cedric thinks to himself as his gaze locks with hers and he finds himself drowning in the sea of constellations inside her irises. The stars at Hogwarts hold no competition to those which he sees in that moment in [Y/N]'s eyes. He wonders if they have always been there, waiting to be noticed, or if they have only just surfaced now.

And then Cedric finds himself leaning in and somewhere in the middle, she meets his lips with her own.

They pause for a moment, as though giving each other time to pull away if they want to, but neither of them do. And he really can't quite tell who moves first—him or [Y/N]—but they let each other's lips begin to whisper over one another's in gentle, slow carresses. They string up, unhurried and soft, one kiss flowing into the next with endless patience and want, and [Y/N]'s lips are inviting and alive and Cedric almost doesn't want to pull away, but he has to, eventually, and so he draws back, eyes blinking open.

He wonders, for a moment, despite the fact that she'd kissed back, if he had gone too far. If he had crossed the line that had always rested between them that made the difference between friendship and.. whatever this was.

But then familiar crinkles appear around [Y/N]'s eyes as she smiles at him. "I believe I've discovered my magic."

Cedric takes a brief moment to respond. Letting out a quiet exhale, he keeps his gaze fixed on hers as he furrows his eyebrows a little and asks with a tiny smile of his own, "What's that?"

She grins and jokes in a hushed, almost theatrical tone, "Seduction."

Cedric's face relaxes into a proper smile and he leans forward, pressing his mouth against [Y/N]'s for the second time. He feels the happy curve of her lips and feels his own curving up in response until they aren't really kissing anymore; just smiling against each other's mouths.

Ethereal, Cedric thinks to himself again, not for the first time that day. Absolutely bloody magical.

—

The muggle village of Ottery St. Catchpole was a fascinating place, but perhaps the reason why Cedric thought so was not because of the buildings and the bustling streets themselves, but because of the little bakery owned by a Muggle grandma and a girl whose heart Cedric knew even better than his own.

When the first of September comes around and brings with it the inevitable need to say goodbye, a pair of friends bound together by the passing of time sit on the front steps of the Old Corner Bakery, joking and talking and making promises to write. [Y/N]'s grandmother has insisted on Cedric bringing along snacks in case he gets hungry during the train ride, hence the paper bag full of custard tarts he clutches in his hands.

"I think she loves you more than I do," says [Y/N], watching her grandmother disappear back into the bakery, weeping.

Cedric laughs. "Tell me something I don't know."

And then suddenly it is time to say their farewells, and Cedric is hugging her goodbye but it doesn't feel like enough, so he pulls away, places his hand on the back of her head, and presses a kiss to her forehead. He would press their lips together but he knows that will make it harder to say goodbye, so for now, he settles for this.

"You promise me you won't leave the bad stuff out of your letters, okay?"

"You can count on me."

So Cedric waves goodbye to her with the same gleam of promise from all those years ago sparkling in his eyes like stars that have yet to die out. He can't promise to stay, but he can promise that he will come back—and he will. He always will.

a/n: whether or not cedric comes back to ottery st. catchpole next year is entirely up to you (cough triwizard tournament cough)

[orangeseoks]

Trouble Maker // j.jk

part one - part two here

[ disclaimer! ]

this is of pure fiction and is NOT to be taken seriously!

genre ;; fluff, smut, angst | hybrid au

pairing ;; jungkook x reader, hybrid!jk x reader, (kinda) namjoon x reader.

notes ;; jungkook is a horny mf, reader is a virgin *cOuGh*, mentions of abuse, a few fights happen here and there, namjoon is a complete dork, (y/n) and namjoon are besties uwu, eventual smut, jk randomly finds porn, masterbation, (y/n) fights with her family + daddy issues, highschool is hard, jk has a virgin kink, surprise heats, jk has wet dreams (ovo; ).

warning ;; there may be quite a bit of fob in here, idk

[ unedited ]

[ all rights reserved @orangeseoks​ ]

"Wake up will you," a voice blares from beside me. I quickly jolt awake and look around me, "y-yes?" Rubbing the sleepiness from my eyes I stretch in my spot and sigh, glancing at the workbook I'd dumped so carelessly onto the floor. "You're such an idiot, why do I even bother with you?" Namjoon answers with a laugh.

"Namjoon, seriously? I'd only passed out, geez." Rubbing my temple, I stand up, a slight giggle passing my lips as I start collecting the few items I'd scattered around me. I'm normally at home around this time, not often do I sleep during studies at Namjoon's. 

I gently pack my things into my bag and make my way to the front door, slipping my shoes on. "Do you want a ride home?" He asks, tucking his car keys into the pocket of his pants.

Shaking my head I give Namjoon a soft smile, "I'll walk, it's okay."

"You sure? It's almost half past eleven," I merely nod and open the door. "If anything I'll take the bus home, see you!" Waving the older male goodbye, I run outside of his small house and down the street.

Namjoon, he's a lot older than me, like a lot. He's an adult and I'm still a student, many would think he's my tutor or something - but he's just a long time friend. Weird?

Humming to myself, I kick a stone on the pavement before I turn down an alleyway between two houses. This was my usual route home from Namjoon's place, it was a neat shortcut. It was always the best way to avoid a long walk, sometimes even people, I guess it’s just a fast escape. When I see the road come into view my smile widens, just across the street was a small corner store and I was dying to eat something.

Crossing the silent street, I make my way towards the store, accidentally inhaling the cigarette smoke from the group of males outside the laundromat. Coughing, I enter and begin to roam the few isles they had, grabbing a few snacks here and there. The smell of cigarette smoke still lingered in the air but it wasn't as strong as it was outside.

"Is this all?" The cashier asks me, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Yep," is all I respond with, taking out my wallet to pay for everything. "Which school do you go to?" The woman suddenly asks me whilst she packs everything into a re-usable bag, "oh um.. that school just down the street, I forgot the name." I let out a faint chuckle, my cheeks growing a faint pink.

"Ah, my daughter goes there too." With a warm smile the woman hands me everything, "be careful walking home it's cold out."

"Thank you," bowing slightly I exit the store, that disgusting smell hitting me like a truck. Scoffing, I cover my nose and cross the street in a hurry.  

A little before I got home, I'd decided to stop at the bus stop just a house away from mine. And now here I am, sitting there as I eat the sandwich I'd purchased. Watching the few cars that pass by me, "are you jumping busses too?" Flinching, I turn around to face the voice - swallowing my mouthful in a hurry. "N-No, I'm just sitting here to eat." Smiling shyly I fold the parchment paper that once was wrapped around my sandwich, lowering my gaze to the concrete below my feet.

"At midnight? That's new," the voice adds. Nodding I shift awkwardly in my spot, "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm only waiting for the bus."

"S-Sorry, I'm not used to this sort of thing."

"Me, social interaction or bus jumping?" The voice asks playfully, a small laugh passing through their words. "All of them I guess," embarrassed with myself I mentally facepalm - slouching in my spot. "Don't be, I'm only dressed differently." Confused as to why they've pointed that out, I glance up at them, noticing how they really are dressed differently. They're wearing a hat, baggy clothes and a .. collar? Or maybe it's a choker?

I clear my throat and nod, "not really. I mean, other people dress like that."

"Yeah well I'm not like other people," the voice answers, headlights hitting the both of us. My eyes widen when I see a glimpse of the persons face, they're beautiful. "Here's my bus," they finish - standing and entering the large vehicle. Leaving me and my lonesome once more, shaking my head I stand also, grabbing both my bags and walking the remainder of my way home.

Sighing, I look up at my steep driveway, never getting over how tiring it is to walk up it. "I'm home," I mutter sarcastically. A fake smile painting my features as I walk up it. When I reach the top of my driveway, I begin shaking open my gate, not failing to notice the obvious movement in the bushes behind my fishpond.

Furrowing my eyebrows together, I walk toward the bushes closing the front gate behind me and then pushing open an entrance for me, so I’m able to pass through the crowded greenery. "..Hello?" I ask the darkness of night, sighing at my actions I look around the area and see nothing. That is until I spot two perky ears twitching. "Oh-" Kneeling down, I move the rock the animal is hiding behind, spotting the small thing and frowning at its appearance.

"Poor thing, let's get you inside." I gently pick up the bunny and cradle it in my arms despite the constant thrashing it makes. I hum at this, rubbing gently behind its ears whilst I take out my keys, I unlock the unit house I'm living in and switch on the lights, placing the animal onto my kitchen table to examine it.

The poor bunny was coated in thick mud, a deep slash in one of their back legs, along with a few other cuts on them. “Lets clean you up, yeah?” With a gentle smile, I pick the bunny up and walk over to the kitchen - filling the sink with warm water.

“You’re safe now little bunny,” I affirm, turning the tap off and placing the tiny animal into the shallow pool of water. A small chuckle leaves my lips, watching as it squirms slightly when coming in contact with the warm liquid. Smiling, I get myself a cup and collect a bit of water to pour over the top of the bunny. Combing my fingers through its slightly over grown locks, I untangle a few of the knots in its fur before beginning to scrub the mud away.

I let out a faint laugh when the little bunny presses itself into the palm of my hand, “do you like me washing your fur?” As if it understands me, their ear twitches and they hop into my free palm. Smiling, I wet its ears, softly massaging the fur with my fingers, being sure not to apply too much pressure knowing how sensitive rabbit ears can be.

“I’m almost finished little bunny,” giggling, I wash away any extra muck before transferring the small animal to a clean tea towel, wrapping it neatly around the bunny’s small frame and returning to the kitchen table to dry it. Humming, I eventually finish drying the bunny and run my hands along its damp fur, “sit tight I’ll be right back.”

And I was, I’d left and come back in the span of only three minutes. A first aid kit in hand, sitting in front of the bunny I notice how it awakes from what I’m assuming was their sleep. “I’m going to treat your leg alright, it may hurt so I’m sorry in advanced.” With a concentrated sigh, I look at the injured leg, feeling somewhat relieved to see it looking better now that its been cleaned of whatever gunk was in it.

I apply a bit of an ointment onto the little bunny’s leg before wrapping it in a bandage, “jang! All done!” Clapping my hands together, I let a grin fall onto my lips whilst I pick the bunny up, pulling it into my chest for hug. “You’re such a good little bunny! I’m so proud of you!”

With a giggle I glance at the clock next to the tv, instantly frowning when I notice how late it is. I should be sleeping, but instead I’m cuddling with a stray rabbit. Sighing, I comb my bangs back and make my way to my bedroom, turning the lounge light off behind me.

“You can sleep with me tonight hun,” crawling into bed I place the small bunny into the arms of one of my teddy bears, smiling when it curls into the plush toy. Yawning I bid the bunny goodnight and fall asleep myself.

As sunlight passed through the bedroom curtains, I feel myself begin to stir in my sleep, groaning I turn towards my wall. A giggle leaving my lips as a tiny tongue flicks along my neck, licking at my skin, with a shaky laugh I open my eyes - a familiar little bunny coming into view. Smiling, I pick the rabbit up, rolling onto my back and holding it in the air.

“I think I might keep you, call you mine.”

Chuckling, I sit up and place the bunny into my lap, petting the small creature. “I’m (Y/n), and you’re..” Pausing for a moment I look around my room for a name idea, then it hits me. “You’re Jungkook!”

I watch as Jungkook jumps up, pawing at my shirt, “someones excited!” I exclaim happily, picking Jungkook up and checking the bunny for a split second. “You’re a boy Jungkook!” I yell, clearly as excited as him.

ding!

Cutting myself and Jungkook from our moment, I listen to my phone go off beside me, sighing I unlock it and read my messages with a frown. A deep groan falls from my lips, tossing my phone onto the floor carelessly - as if it’ll relieve my irritation.

“Namjoon’s coming over, Jungkook, he’s a friend of mine. He’s going to help me finish my leftover work,” smiling I cradle the tiny male bunny in my arms. Running my hand gently along his back, watching his small tail twitch. Giggling I grab his tail between two fingers and massage the area around it.

“Come on, I need to change, help me pick out my outfit.”

Jumping out of bed, I make it quickly, rearranging my soft toys and such. I then take out a few things from the set of drawers I have sitting in the corner of the room. 

“Which one? Twitch either your left or right ear to tell me,” I utter holding up both the chosen pieces of clothes.

The bunny’s head only tilts to the side, his right ear twitching, grinning I nod and make a hurry to take off the shirt I was sleeping in, pulling on the large sweater and shorts.

“Ta-da!” I do a little twirl, laughing when Jungkook jumps in his spot, his large doe eyes glistening in the natural light. Scoffing, I shake my head, a wide smile still plastered on my face when I open my curtains and windows.

Turning to Jungkook, I watch as he jumps down from my bed, landing on his side with a small squeak. I let out a snicker watching in awe at the clumsy bunny. His little legs working hard as he runs over to me, snuggling himself into my ankle. “Come on bub,” I murmur picking Jungkook up and walking into the kitchen to boil the jug as-well-as place a few pieces of bread into the toaster.

“What should you have for breakfast?” Looking down at Jungkook, I smile, shuffling over to the fridge - tearing a leaf of lettuce away from its body and grabbing an apple to go with the green he’s going to eat, “sorry if you don’t like it. I’ll try and buy you bunny food on Thursday, hm?” Chuckling, I jump a little with every step I take; rocking Jungkook like an infant in my arms.

“I’ll cut your lettuce and apple so its easier for you to eat,” pressing a chast kiss to Jungkook’s fur, I place him on the bench beside me whilst I cut the lettuce into strips. The faint sound of rain hitting the roof filling my ears, I sigh at this and place the shredded lettuce onto a small plate. Moving onto his apple, I begin to cut that too, eventually finishing that and placing the tiny chunks onto the plate also - moving onto my breakfast once I’ve placed his food onto the table.

Placing a couple slices of bread into the toaster, I take out the butter along with the jam as I wait for my toast to pop up. 

I jump when my toast is ready, laughing at myself for being oblivious to it. Humming a song to myself, I butter my toast - blah blah. And then walk over to the table, giggling when I see Jungkook face first in his food; his cheeks stuffed with his breakfast. 

“Cute,” I mutter, taking a bite of my toast and listening to the pelting rain hit the roof of my home. “I hope Namjoon doesn’t catch a cold, he’s probably drenched.”

Speaking of the devil.

My eyebrows raise as my front door slides open, Namjoon rushing inside and tossing his keys onto the shoe shelf beside him, he sighs and removes his wet coat - draping it over the back of a kitchen chair. “Unlock your door next time,” he complains, sitting down and combing back his dripping bangs.

“Sorry,” I say, “I didn’t expect you over so early. Its only ten,” Namjoon nods in response. His eyes shifting from me to Jungkook - too immersed in his feasting to notice the male in the room. “You bought a rabbit..?” He asks, examining the animal with his eyes, “no.” Is all I respond with, finishing off the last of my toast.

“I found his last night, his leg was injured so I took him in.”

Namjoon sighs, “what is it has some type of disease and you catch it?”

“I won’t, he’s healthy, a little beaten is all.” I smile sadly, moving my hand to pet Jungkook as he eats. “Do you plan on telling your dad?” He asks, plucking an untouched chunk of apple from Jungkook’s plate and tossing into his mouth.

I scoff, “no. Like he’s going to find out, he’ll only make me pay for everything myself, not to mention my sisters.” I find myself shivering at my own words, “if my sisters find out I have a rabbit in my house, they’ll smother the poor thing.”

Laughing, Namjoon nods, “I get it.”

I don’t say a word, only hum and allow Jungkook to hop into my open hand, “how much of the work did I need to finish?”

“Right!” Namjoon starts, placing the small bag he has with his atop of the table, “if I remember correctly you only have to finish your slide for history.” I instantly grin, history is one of my favourite subjects. I so adore history, I’ve always been a fan of the dark and interesting histories and wonders of the world.

According to my friends and mutuals at school I’m a, quote on quote; history whore. 

“Salem Witch Trials, right?” Namjoon asks, cutting me from my thoughts, “yeah, that’s it.” He nods, taking out his notebook as well as a few sheets of paper littered with words and images. “I’ve got some articles printed for you to use as reference.”

Thanking him, I run off to grab my laptop, returning moments later and sitting in my original spot. “I think you only have two slides left to make,” he murmurs, writing a few things into his notebook. I hum, opening my slides and quickly looking through my current work.

One slide left, I think to myself, glancing at the papers given to me. This is going to be interesting.

Groaning, I flop lifelessly onto my sofa, ignoring the grumbling coming from Namjoon. “(Y/n)-”

“Don’t you dare make me work any further, I’ve finished everything.” I retort, not letting Namjoon finish his sentence, he knows how stubborn I can be and decides to leave things at that. “Movie?” He asks, switching the tv on, “no - game.” 

Chuckling, Namjoon stands to grab the two controllers sitting in a drawer before handing me one and starting up a multiplayer game so the two of us can play. “Are you ready to lose?” I chime cockily, knowing how he sucks at this specific video game. “Ha ha, very funny,” he retorts.

I smile at his sarcasm, focusing my attention on the game about to take place, “loser.” I say, mashing furiously at my controller, knocking down Namjoon’s character with a simple punch. The male beside me huffs, puffing his cheeks out, “I’m no loser.”

And he wasn’t lying when he said that, I’d only blinked and my character had been knocked down with a booming k.o! I was shocked; he’d literally just beaten me, me! 

“Kim Namjoon!” I whine, throwing the small device in my hands onto the armchair across from the two of us, instantly jumping onto the broad male - tackling him into the cushioning.

He lets out a low squeak, squirming beneath me with a roaring laugh. He knows how competitive I can get, so why would he make me lose?

“(Y/n)!” He laughs, his hands unconsciously finding my waist as I resume tickling him. “St-Stop!” Furrowing my eyebrows, I pinch his waist before stopping and glaring at him, “thank you.” He pants, rolling over slightly and glancing at a certain spot on the floor.

“Oh hey little guy,” Namjoon spurs, smiling fondly at Jungkook. I notice this and turn my head to face my curious bunny, “come on!” I cheer, kneeling beside the couch and watching as he scrambles over to me. Burying his face into my hands the second he comes up to me.

I can’t help but grin at how cute he is, bringing the small animal towards my chest and cradling him. “He’s so cute Namjoon.”

“Are you going to keep him?” He asks, sitting up after tidying his tussled hair. “Mhm, I decided to keep him once I woke up. There’s no way he’s going back out there, poor thing must’ve been beaten before running off.”

“There’s actually been cases popping up recently of animal abusers, the authorities are trying to find out who exactly is doing this and whether its a group or just individuals, they’re also speculating that its breeder or maybe a owner of sorts.”

He pauses, wetting his lips before continuing;

“Oh- there’s also cases of people seeing .. well other people, but with animal ears and tails. No one has been able to prove if these sightings are true or not, but I guess that’s off topic.”

Shrugging, I continue to gaze at the now sleeping bunny in my arms, a wide smile gracing my lips. “Should we go shopping?” I ask the bunny snuggled into me, knowing it obviously won’t answer me. “Now?” Namjoon questions, walking around me and into my room.

“Yeah,” is all I say as I climb to my feet and place Jungkook onto the couch to retrieve my shoes from my room - a coat hitting me directly in the face upon my entering. “Put that on, it’ll be cold outside.”

“I know,” I say. “I know.”

[hiccanna-tidbits]

5, 6, 7 & 8 for OTP asks with Hiccanna!!

HELL YEAH BRO

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Anna, hopeless romantic and “true love” fanatic that she is, is incredibly down to meet her soulmate. One of her biggest fears is being inherently unlovable and that no one will ever love her for who she is (parents dying and sister shunning you has to leave some abandonment issues babyyyy), so she takes a lot of comfort in the idea of a soulmate--at least one person is basically certain to love her, right?

Hiccup, meanwhile, is apathetic at best and annoyed by the idea of a higher power dictating who his girlfriend is at worst. Unlike Anna, he doesn’t really fear no one will ever really love him for who he is--rather, he just accepts it as fact. Growing up with no friends and an emotionally-distant father, Hiccup came to believe that he was never going to feel the kind of deep, boundless love he’d seen between other people--and he made his peace with it. Being a more introverted scientist and inventor-type, Hiccup tends to spend a lot of time alone anyways and believes (maybe not fully accurately) that he prefers it that way. Besides, the logician in him thinks the whole “magic cosmic soulmate” thing is probably bullshit, and he just can’t figure out how something like soulmates could ever be backed or supported by modern science. Ultimately, Hiccup figures he’s going to date who he’s going to date (if he can even find any girls who are interested, that is), and he really couldn’t care less what the stars have to say about it.

When Hiccup and Anna do finally meet, and eventually start dating (knowing how shy and awkward they’d both be about confessing, it would take months to years after them meeting to actually get together, even in a goddamn soulmate AU), it isn’t revealed that they’re soulmates right away. Maybe it’s revealed by their hearts glowing a certain color when they first realize they’re in love with the other person? Idk. 

When Anna finds out they’re soulmates, she’s absolutely stoked. Like the girl probably runs around their home for a solid 15 minutes planning a soulmate reveal party or something. Hiccup, meanwhile, is just kind of like “Oh! Neat!” and then immediately goes back to whatever he was doing XD

Anna is a bit hurt that Hiccup is so, ah...unconcerned about them being literally destined to be together. She’s mainly worried that it means that he doesn’t like...cherish their connection enough and whatnot. After he picks up on the fact that she’s kind of upset about his definitive lack of a strong reaction to the whole thing, he explains to her that he didn’t really care because he’d 100% date Anna whether or not she was his soulmate. Saying their souls were deeply connected was basically just putting a formal title on what he already knew.

And Anna has to take a minute, because honestly? Hiccup confidently saying he’d be with her in any reality, even one where he risks angering cosmic forces to do so, is actually much more romantic than them being supposedly “fated for each other” since the beginning.

Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

I think I’ll have Zephyr and Nuffink be the single parent kids because I Just Think They’re Neat! That, and I honestly can’t bear to make lovechildren for Anna with anyone but Hiccup XD (those of you who know me will know making Krist/anna lovechildren in any context is RIGHT OUT).

So in this AU things didn’t work out with Astrid and Hiccup is pretty heartbroken over it :( I imagine she ultimately left him because she wasn’t really feeling the spark anymore, and they have joint custody of the kids. Meanwhile, Hiccup and Anna were neighbors growing up, and were pretty close friends as kids until Anna moved away and they lost touch. She eventually comes back to their hometown as an adult, and she and Hiccup reconnect. They’re also both like “ah shit, my old buddy got HOT” XD

I actually think Anna and Zephyr would really hit it off, mainly because Anna sees a lot of what she loves the most about Hiccup in Zephyr. Zephyr has Hiccup’s anxiety, cynicism, inventive streak, overall social awkwardness--and because Anna knows Hiccup so well and knows how to best accommodate all of his quirks and oddities, it’s not hard for her to extrapolate how best to befriend a younger version of him XD Zephyr, meanwhile, has had trouble befriending kids her age due to her bluntness and general “nerdiness,” so she’s always happy to find someone who accepts her unconditionally and takes a genuine interest in her wacky inventions--even if it’s her dad’s new girlfriend, who by all accounts should be a weird person for her to get close to XD Zephyr also devours science books like they’re going out of style, and is very pleased that Anna is more than happy to listen to her ramble on and on about random science trivia. Zeph still loves her biological mom, for sure, but she starts thinking of Anna as a second mom. She brags to all the kids at school that she has two moms, which leaves them very confused and wondering if Astrid ended up marrying another woman after she divorced Hiccup (which, to be fair, wouldn’t be entirely out of character).

Nuffink, meanwhile, is a little more unsure about the whole situation, if mainly because I headcanon him as a bit of a mama’s boy. He doesn’t dislike Anna so much as he’s just...wary of her, and doesn’t know how to feel about his dad falling in love with someone who isn’t his mom. He also can’t help but feel out-of-place when he, Zephyr, Hiccup, and Anna go out on “family outings” because he kind of looks like he doesn’t belong. With her reddish-brown hair, her blue eyes, her aundance of freckles, and her fondness for wearing twin braids, Zephyr could definitely pass as Anna’s daughter (I’ve even seen Anna used as an older version of Zephyr in video edits, which is hilariously ironic). Although Nuffink has his dad’s eyes, he very much has his biological mom’s hair and doesn’t look like he’s related to Anna at all.

I think what helps them finally bond is that they both have a love of combat! Nuffink definitely does some kind of martial arts or fencing training if he can access it, and Anna is more than happy to teach him some swordplay and spar with him if he wants! Because Sword Anna is best Anna, fight me. Nuffink is also open-minded enough that hey, if his cool big sister likes someone that much, she can’t be that bad. Hiccup is just...continually super impressed with how much Anna knows about fighting--and it makes him fall all the more in love with her, because he loves that in a woman XD Once Nuffink warms up to Anna, he’s constantly trying to impress her ith how tough he is--mostly shown by him ramming his head into walls. Poor Anna worries about Nuffink a lot XD

I imagine there’s a little bit of tension between Anna and Astrid in this AU. Not really because Astrid resents Hiccup moving on--she’s actually pretty happy for Hiccup that he found someone better suited for him than her--but more because she worries Anna is trying to replace her as the kids’ “true mom” XD Anna, meanwhile, can’t help but resent Astrid a little for breaking Hiccup’s heart and doesn’t get why they kids can’t just have two moms! The more people who love them, the better, right???

I don’t imagine Anna and Hiccup having any biological kids in this AU, because I think two stepkids would be plenty for Anna! Of course, since Zephyr and Nuffink are Hiccup’s, she loves them with all her being and tries to be the best stepmom she can be. But I think having more than two kids would stress Anna’s ADHD ass the fuck out, and she doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would feel a need to have biological kids with Hiccup if she already had Nuffink and Zephyr to parent. Our girl is perfectly happy adopting!

Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

Hiccup is the long-suffering doctor, although not entirely by choice. Often he wonders if being a doctor is actually what he wanted, but his dad was like “WELL SON! YOU’RE SMART, SO YOU GOTTA BE A DOCTOR SO YOU MAKE BIG BUCKS!” (I’m headcanoning in this AU Stoick is a professional athlete of some kind, and has made BANK since he was young. He can’t really conceive of his son NOT pursuing a well-paid profession). Hiccup doesn’t really want to disappoint his rather intimidating dad, so he goes along with it.

It’s not that he dislikes it, when all is said and done. He does care about people and wants to help them, although he hides it underneath about 10 layers of snark. Still, it’s stressful and thankless work, and often he worries about whether he took the right path. Too late to pursue something else now, he supposes.

Then he meets Anna, rushed to the ICU with a collection of third-degree electrical burns. She tried to plug all of her Christmas light strings into the same power strip, and uh...it did not go well. Hiccup is there monitoring her vitals when she wakes up, and she just kind of wearily sighs and admits to him that living on her own wasn’t nearly as fun or exciting as she thought it would be. As it turned out, Anna had insisted she could be trusted with putting up her apartment’s holiday decorations, and she very much should not have been.

Anna ends up having to stay a couple weeks. She needs a small skin graft (yeah, she fucked herself up THAT bad), and then needs a bit of time for the surgery wounds to heal. Hiccup is assigned to do checkups on her regularly, and starts to look forward to it. Her perky disposition (despite being stuck in the hospital with burn wounds) is contagious, and she never fails to make him laugh after a long, draining shift. As stressful as his job is, Anna becomes his one respite.

He has to admit, it’s nice to have at least one thing to look forward to.

Hiccup is a little sad to see Anna go. Of course, bumbling, socially awkward foot-in-mouth fool that he is, he doesn’t have the courage to ask for her number so they can keep in touch. That would, uh...probably be unprofessional or something. Besides, it would probably crush his heart and soul if she was weirded out by his soft spot for her so like...maybe best not to even open himself up to the possibility.

Then, not two weeks later, Anna shows up at the hospital again--this time having broken three bones in a hiking accident. Apparently she got too excited about a particularly nice view, and toppled right off the top of a very steep bluff. He, once again, takes on her care, and is delighted (albeit guiltily) to have her back. He, once again, has something to make work not suck as much!

Oddly enough, this turns out to be the first of many hiking accidents. Anna comes in next month claiming to have nearly burned her arm off in a rogue campfire, and then again the next month claiming to have been mauled by a bear (although Hiccup is pretty sure those bleeding gashes were just left by a very big dog, and Anna is too embarrassed to admit it). Odder still, Hiccup distinctly remembers talking to Anna during her first hospital stay about how much he loved hiking and the outdoors, and now all of her new string of injuries just happen to be hiking-related. He can’t help but be baffled about how her insurance even covers all of this, but apparently having a family lineage distantly related to Norwegian royalty has its perks.

On roughly her 7th hospital stay, Hiccup finally gathers up the courage to ask Anna for her number, if only because he figures it would be nice for them to see each other without Anna having to nearly get herself killed first every time XD

Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

OMIGOD SO

I HAD AN IDEA FOR THIS

What if Anna was sent to bodyguard Hiccup in an AU where Arendelle is a lot more militaristic???

Basically what I'm thinking is that this is in an alternate timeline, Hiccup didn't injure Toothless's tail when he shot him down. The beginning of HTTYD plays out the same, but Toothless can still fly and just yeets off after Hiccup frees him, supposedly never to be seen again. However, this still leads Hiccup to believe he may not be dragon-fighting material after all. The poor boy still yearns to find a way to prove his worth to Berk, though.

As Hiccup gets older, his strength doesn't really improve, and it becomes clear to Stoick that he's always going to be pretty scrawny. Because of this, he's hesitant to put Hiccup in dragon training for the sake of his son's own safety--and hey, Hiccup seems to have lost interest in dragon-fighting anyhow, so it's not like Hiccup will fight him on it. Nonetheless, the dragon raids are getting worse, and Stoick worries about Hiccup being able to protect himself at all. Knowing most of the older villagers are busy with dragon-fighting and other jobs, and honestly doubting any of the village's teenagers would protect Hiccup if push came to shove, Stoick sends out an appeal of sorts to neighboring villages and kingdoms requesting a bodyguard for his skinny disaster of a son.

Back in Arendelle, shut-in princess Anna is surprised yet intrigued when a messenger from the Viking village of Berk shows up at Elsa's coronation. In a timeline where Hans and Anna don’t have their chance encounter, Hans sets his wooing sights on the newly-crowned Queen Elsa (and fails), and no push ends up being strong enough to make Elsa lose control of her powers at the ceremony. Anna, however, still feels hurt by her sister’s seemingly reasonless rebuke earlier in the evening and finds herself aching to explore the world outside her castle and be close with someone--anyone--again.

When the Viking messenger requests a bodyguard for the Chief of Berk’s son, Anna is quick to volunteer. The messenger scoffs at first, but to his surprise, the soft-looking princess isn’t entirely unqualified. She filled many of her long, empty childhood hours training with the Arendelle guard, and her swordplay is admirable. To prove her worth, Anna faces off with one of the Berkian warriors in a duel--and holds her own shockingly well. While Queen Elsa is hesitant to let her sister run off to a faraway nation, Anna vehemently insists that Arendelle doesn’t need two monarchs, and this will be great for diplomatic relations in the long run. Of course, she also longs to explore and get away from the place she’s been trapped her entire life, but Elsa doesn’t need to know that part.

When Anna arrives in Arendelle, Hiccup has absolutely no idea what to make of his new bodyguard. On the one hand, a girl who’s good with a sword is hot, and he’s long since given up on Astrid anyways. On the other hand, Hiccup is definitely irked that his dad sees him as so weak and incapable that he’s the only Viking in the village who needs a full-on bodyguard, and he hates feeling like he’s being babied and coddled (not that this is Anna’s fault). Still, his bodyguard is essentially the only person who’s ever seemed to actually want to be friends with him in...well, his whole life, and honestly? He’ll take it.

Anna, meanwhile, still aching for love and connections of really any kind, is nigh-instantly smitten. His brains, his creativity, his constant snide jokes, his snark-coated good heart, his weird, messy hairdo--all of it has an 18-year-old Anna completely over the moon. Hiccup, feeling hopeless in the world of romance after being rejected by Astrid, is honestly just relieved to finally have a friend--to the point that it doesn’t even occur to him that Anna’s a girlfriend option.

Not long after she arrives in Berk, Anna is put into dragon training to prepare for raids. She does a bit of training of her own with Hiccup, teaching him some swordplay to try and boost his confidence. It’s not hard to tell that he has mixed feelings about having to have a protector, and Anna hopes that by teaching him some basic fighting skills he can at least feel a little better if he’s ever in a situation where she isn’t there to defend him.

As she gets deeper into her dragon training, Anna asks Hiccup why he never gave dragon training a go. Granted, him being as physically small as he is would be a disadvantage, but he could still learn to hold his own decently well using speed and stealth. It would help him be able to protect himself, if nothing else. Hiccup seems very reluctant to talk about the whole subject, but he says Anna needs to trust that he knows he can’t kill dragons. He tends to give the shortest answers possible to her questions, and nigh-instantly changes the subject. When Anna presses too much, he gets snippy.

As they get closer, Hiccup finally opens up to Anna about the time he shot down a Night Fury and couldn’t bring himself to make the final kill. He admits to cutting the creature free, and how the dragon nearly killed him--only to spare Hiccup just as Hiccup had spared him. “I saw more than just a ruthless killer when I looked into that dragon’s eye,” Hiccup tells her. “I saw myself. I think there’s so much more to them than anyone knows, but...you’re the only person I feel like would actually give me the benefit of the doubt on that.”

During the next raid, Anna pays closer attention to the dragons than before. She watches how they interact with the villagers, and notice that they never seem to go out of their way to go after people. They only fight Vikings when Vikings initiate, and the dragons’ main concern always seems to be taking sheep and fish. Left to their own devices, they don’t seem to want to hurt anyone.

Unfortunately, Anna standing off to the side and trying to watch what all the dragons are doing leaves her distracted--and vulnerable. She’s not prepared for a camouflaged changewing to melt out of the wall behind her, whipping around and backing her into a corner. Anna grabs for her sword but can hardly move, frozen in terror as the massive dragon stares her down.

She holds up an arm, bracing herself for a wall of fire, but none comes. There’s a swish of wings and a gust of wind blows her back. When she looks up, the dragon is gone.

It would’ve been beyond easy for the dragon to kill her. The creature clearly saw her--could have taken advantage in her moment of frozen stupor and burned her to a crisp. And yet...the dragon spared her. Just like the Night Fury had spared Hiccup.

Anna realizes Hiccup might be onto something.

Together, Hiccup and Anna decide they’re going to get to the bottom of what dragons are really like--and why they’re stealing the village’s food. While claiming to go out for “battle practice,” Hiccup and Anna track down dragons and study them in secret--observing them, writing about them, seeing how they behave and how they interact with one another. They’re surprised by what they see: left to their own devices, dragons are good-natured and compassionate, and they take care of their own. Strangely, they never seem to feed the stolen food to their young. Hiccup predicts they’re not actually keeping it for themselves, and taking it somewhere nigh unreachable for humans. For what actual purpose is anyone’s guess.

Anna starts using the info she gathers observing dragons with Hiccup in dragon-training. She finds ways to sooth them and calm them down in the ring by using things they seem to enjoy in the wild. Scented grass, bits of fish, soft touches, slow, gentle movements. The village marvels at her newfound skills, and can’t help but wonder where she developed such a knack for controlling dragons despite spending basically all her time around “Stoick’s little runt.” She couldn’t be training with him, of all people...could she? Astrid, for one, is definitely none too pleased about her spot at the top of the class being threatened.

Meanwhile, Anna and Hiccup can’t help but grow fond of the dragons they watch. They start becoming more bold, and leaving snacks of trout and mutton for the scaled creatures. Anna is delighted when the food ends up attracting none other than what she’s pretty sure is the same changewing who spared her, as well as a curious snaptrapper. She’s never gotten to see a snaptrapper up close before, and is completely undeterred by the triple-jawed four heads. Rather, she is far more preoccupied with coming up with the perfect name for each head.

“Omigod, he’s so PRETTY! And he smells like CHOCOLATE!”

“...you know they probably emit that scent to lure in prey so they can slice it in three, right?”

“CHOCOLATE, HICCUP!!!”

With each new meal, the local dragons grow more and more comfortable with Hiccup and Anna. After a while, the changewing and the snaptrapper even let Anna touch their noses. Anna falls in love with watching the changewing seem to melt around the forest as she camouflages, and rolling in the mud with the snaptrapper after a summer storm. Hiccup starts catching what seems to be glimpses of the Night Fury he freed, and it appears that the curious creature has come back to investigate him.

The Night Fury appears more and more, drawn in by Hiccup’s trout feast. Hiccup notices the dragon’s wing is injured, likely shot by someone from the village. Although he’s not completely helpless, he’s having trouble. Hiccup sets to work on his most daring project yet--making a “brace” of sorts that can mend the ripped wing.

When Hiccup and Anna attempt to distract the Night Fury long enough to climb up and put the wing brace on, something unexpected happens. The dragon shoots up to the sky, both unwitting passengers clinging onto his tail for dear life.

Once they get their bearings and clamber up to his back, the Night Fury (who Hiccup has nicknamed “Toothless” for his retractable teeth) takes them on a flight through the clouds. Unable to help herself, Anna laces her arms around Hiccup’s waist--if only so she can supposedly “hold on better.”

Hiccup, of course, still doesn’t get it.

The flight takes a sinister turn when Toothless takes them to the dragon nest, and Hiccup finally gets his answer about where all of the villages food has been going--to their queen. Unsure what to do or how to free their new friends from the Red Death, Hiccup and Anna promise each other one thing or sure--none of the rest of Berk can know about the dragon nest. If they attack it, it spells disaster for both dragons and Vikings--not to mention the question of how they got there is sure to dig up their secret dragon-related activities as of late.

With each dragon raid, Anna finds herself more and more reluctant to fight dragons--especially now that she knows what’s actually going on. She only does the bare minimum to protect the food and the village, never going out of her way to attack a dragon or landing a killing blow (although by this point, she’d definitely be skilled enough to). During one particularly intense raid, Anna is finding it harder and harder to fend dragons off without doing lethal damage. While driving out a particularly tenacious monstrous nightmare, Anna happens upon the same changewing she’s befriended in the forest, limping to safety.

It would be incredibly easy to finish the dragon off, but Anna refuses. The dragon knows she’s beat, and so Anna lets her leave without so much as a swing of the princess’s sword.

Unfortunately, Astrid sees.

After the raid, Astrid storms up to Anna and chews her out in front of the whole village, yelling about how weak she was to not go for a dragon kill when she had the chance. It turns out Astrid’s also been noticing Anna going intentionally easy on the dragons, and how much the Arendelle princess seems to hold back when fighting him. Astrid knows it’s not physical incompetence, or a lack of skill--she’s seen Anna subdue plenty of dragons in training.

No, it seems to be the princess’s heart that’s weak. Her kingdom must be nothing but a bunch of bleeding-hearted morons, and she’ll never be tough enough to really belong in Berk.

As he watches Astrid yell and the Berkians all turn to sneer at the scene, Hiccup feels a sudden rush of protectiveness for his friend. Tears are starting to form in the corners of her eyes, and something gives in him seeing her subjected to the very ostracization that left him completely alone for so many years.

He walks up beside Anna, and suddenly he’s shouting like he’s never quite had the courage to before.

“You’re wrong, Astrid! You’re all wrong!”

Before long, he’s spilling everything--how dragons are intelligent and caring creatures, how they’re only stealing food to feed a ruthless queen, how he’s sure humans have killed far more dragons than vice versa. The village stares, horrified. When Stoick storms forward, Hiccup and Anna know it’s nothing good.

Stoick is disgusted. The very bodyguard he had brought all the way out to Berk to give his son strength did nothing but fill Hiccup’s head with softness and dangerous lies. He banishes Anna, warning her never to set foot in Berk or speak to his son again.

Hiccup will not have it. He says if Anna’s leaving, he’s coming with her. He’s made his choice, and he’s standing by the only person who ever really treated him with unconditional love and kindness.

“Fine,” Stoick says simply. “We’ll be rid of two traitors, then.”

Cast out from Berk, Hiccup and Anna find themselves with a new mission: Find the nest before the rest of Berk does, and take out the Red Death once and for all.

With the help of Toothless, the Changewing (who Anna has nicknamed “Flicker”), and the Snaptrapper (whose heads Anna have very creatively named Leafy, Greeny, Spiky, and Badbreath. It’s beyond Hiccup how she tells all of them apart, but she’s very adamant about which is which.), they find the dragon hive again, and attempt the impossible--attacking the queen. It seems hopeless at first, but once more and more malcontented dragons see what they’re doing, they join in and rebel.

It’s a tough fight, but the two humans and the revolting dragons come out on top. Not before the Red Death has one last hurrah, though--letting out a final, massive blast of fire that knocks Hiccup askew and sends him tumbling down into the flames. Toothless, Flicker, Anna, and the Snaptrapper dive after, and are quickly engulfed in red and orange.

Meanwhile, the Berkians have sent out ships following Hiccup, Anna, and their dragons, guessing the nest is where they were headed. By the time they get there, the fight is over--and Stoick and Gobber just manage to catch a glimpse of Hiccup plummeting into the flames.

Anna screams Hiccup’s name until the smoke burns her throat so much she can’t anymore. She remembers swooping underneath him and just managing to grab hold of his limp body before everything goes dark.

When she comes to later, it’s still dark--but she feels something soft and warm in her arms, and feels scales pressed against her back. Her arm is searing with pain, but she barely notices it as her eyes adjust to the darkness. Hiccup is curled up against her--groaning, but alive.

Not sure she’ll ever get another chance, she puts a hand on his cheek and finally tells him the truth. “I love you.”

He opens his eyes and looks, gaze shocked until a slow realization washes over him. He smiles. “I love you, too.”

They both pass out, still wrapped up in each other.

When the flames clear, Stoick sees what looks like a pile of dragons, all pressed together with their wings folded in. Slowly, they lift their wings to reveal two humans--charred in places, but alive.

Wracked with guilt, Stoick realizes he was wrong. Hiccup’s new bodyguard helped his son become stronger and braver than the chief of Berk ever imagined.

It turns out taking down the queen saved the dragons and the humans, and thanks to Hiccup, Anna, and their dragon friends, Berk will never have to worry about dragon raids again.

It turns out Hiccup’s leg and Anna’s arm didn’t quite make it out of the fire. Luckily, Gobber has always been handy at prosthetics--and Hiccup manages to make a fairly dextrous and functional metal hand for Anna. Anna is utterly delighted with how cool it looks.

After the whole Red Death incident, it’s decided that Hiccup is probably competent enough that he doesn’t need his own bodyguard anymore. Nonetheless, Anna is welcome to stay in Berk as long as she likes. And with new dragon friends and an incredibly cute new boyfriend, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon!

***

This is in reference to this post! I’ve already done these questions for Moanida. Theoretically still willing to do any questions I haven’t yet for Hiccanna and Moanida, although these were exhausting to write out so I might not give as long of answers XD

[the-demelza-robins]

american high school!jily (pt II)

hi! here’s a short chapter before The Big One (which is set on Halloween night and will hopefully come out on Halloween, if I have the energy). thanks so much for all the positive feedback, it makes me really happy! also you can read it on AO3 if you want  

read part one here

James and Lily are in the same math class; this fact is not new. What is new, however, is that today, he drops his bag in Sev’s seat, the one right next to her. 

“Hey,” he says, then nods once, as if this is normal. It is not.

“Hi,” she responds, because she doesn’t know what else to do. What she does know is that suddenly she’s aware of him, aware of the solidness of his form beside her. He’s tall, taller than Roger. She never really noticed that before.

He fiddles with his pencil. She blinks once, twice. She’s probably so attuned to his movements because he took Sev’s seat. Yes, that must be it. James sitting next to her means that Severus “I’m a fucking white supremacist” Snape can’t. Math has always been the worst, too — Lily cut Sev out of her life junior year, after he published that article, but he refuses to listen to her when she tells him to stay away, and sits next to her whenever he can. She has no friends in math class, no one to shoot him dirty looks and drown out his murmured apologies and arguments.

But James is here, now. Even if he’s not her friend. Even if he doesn’t know the significance of what he just did.

He’s still here. And that’s something.

***

Lily, please save me, the note reads, written in James’s messy scrawl. It took her a long time, as well as a lot of not-so-subtle hints from James, to realize that he’d written it in the first place. It takes her a little longer to decipher his handwriting, which is fine, because she’s ahead on the problems they’re supposed to be working through, caught in that in-between of being too good for regular math and not good enough for honors. As she looks at the curled-up bottom portion of his notebook, she senses Sev glaring daggers at her from across the room. Perfect.

From what? she writes back, letters neat and compact. James reads it almost immediately and takes a long time to respond.

The evil eye that Snivellus is giving me right now.

Ha, ha.

A smile spills out of the corner of his mouth as he writes back. Are you two involved in some sort of torrid love affair I didn’t know about? Am I making him #jelly?

That hashtag made me throw up in my mouth a little. She pauses, pencil flicking against the desk. She knows he’s watching, knows Sev is watching, and so she picks up the paper again and adds, and no, I am not involved with Sev. Would rather make out with Tony the Squid.

His smile widens, now, and she catches it in her peripheral vision. Not our school mascot. That’s too far, Evans.

It occurs to Lily that she’s acting exactly like elementary school James would. She’s laughing about Sev. Her past self would be disappointed.

But her past self didn’t know what Sev would become. She angles her body more towards James, away from her former best friend’s skin-crawling stare.

***

James sits with her again the next math class, and the one after that, too. She knows things about him, now: knows that he doodles soccer balls in the margins of his notebook; knows that he can’t stop moving, and sometimes when he’s bored of tapping his pencil he’ll tap his foot against her chair leg, unconsciously; knows that he has a little scar on his neck; knows that he can make her laugh with one passed note; knows that he still hates Sev as much as he did in eighth grade.

Lily’s the first to step into the math classroom today; or, at least, she thinks she is, until she spots Sev hovering near her seat, muttering to himself under his breath. Lily steels herself and walks by him, pointedly ignoring him as she slips into her chair.

“Lil —”

“Don’t call me that,” she says immediately, and glances towards the door. She’s forgotten what it feels like to be alone with Sev: like she’s been stripped bare, vulnerable, underneath all the layers of hatred and hurt.

Sev huffs, haughtily, in a way that’s so quintessentially him that it causes Lily physical pain. “You’re blowing it all out of proportion. I was looking at the situation from a purely economic perspective—”

“You were being fucking racist, Sev, and you know it,” she snaps, trying and failing to calm down. So easy, she is. The same conversation, every time: the same circles ran, with no ground lost or gained.

Sev opens his mouth to argue back, but before he can, a new voice cuts in.

“Should’ve known I’d find you here,” says James, speaking in a way she’s forgotten that he’s capable of: sharp, sharp as cut glass.

“This has nothing to do with you, Potter,” Sev says stiffly, gaze settling on James, who in turn looks at Lily, brow furrowed.

“You’re in my seat, Snivellus.”

Sev’s face turned red. “It was my seat first.”

“Then I guess it depends on what Lily wants.”

They both turn towards her, and this is where I get to choose, Lily realizes, with a startling burst of clarity. She knows she doesn’t want Sev, doesn’t want him near her, doesn’t want him begging for forgiveness with crocodile tears; she sucks in a breath, says, “That’s James’s seat.”

James smiles, just for a second, then slides into the seat next to her and starts to take out his math notebook. Sev stands, watching them, hands curled into fists; Lily can’t meet his eyes. Yes, he’s virtually unrecognizable from his childhood self, but rejection — rejection for James? James, who had made his early years a living hell?

She stares at the desk until she hears Sev’s retreating footsteps, knowing that to glance up and see the look of anguish on his face would make her feel even worse.

“Glad we got rid of Snivellus, huh, Evans?” James whispers, and he’s too close, sitting next to her with his pencil already tapping against the desk, a hand wafting through his hair. Lily feels like a child again, except this time she’s chosen the wrong side. She’s one of them now. Sev will never speak to her again.

Isn’t that what she wants? He’s a terrible person; she doesn’t long for his friendship. Still, a part of her — a very small part of her — wants him to want her. Another wave of revulsion consumes her; for a moment, she just stares at James, wondering how she’s gotten here. “I’m not like you, James.”

He blinks. “Yeah?”

She could yell at him. She could ask him why, all those years ago, he felt it necessary to call Sev Snivellus, to joke about his greasy hair and unwashed clothes, to ensure that he’d have no friends save Lily.

But in this moment, Lily’s more angry at herself. So instead, she turns towards the front of the classroom, hoping to find some sort of respite in calculus.

Sev doesn’t approach her again, after that.

***

Texts with Roger Davies, Tuesday, October 27th, 9:33pm

Roger: did you get rodriguez’s approval for the theme?

Lily: yeah, we’re all set!

Roger: okay great

Roger: i’m so glad that we’re finally done with that process

Roger: james was being so annoying about choosing it

Lily: lol i thought he was funny. and it didn't derail us that much

(Lily doesn’t know where that instinct comes from, the one that tells her to defend James’s honor. Maybe she knows, in her heart of hearts, that he’d do the same for her, without question, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Maybe she imagines him in math class, tapping his pencil against his desk, focused but also not, a reassuring presence. Maybe the image in her head is shifting from the boy he once was to the boy that now sits next to her every day: the one who lets her fight her own battles, the one who doesn’t push her, the one who didn’t ask about Sev after their last encounter. She can’t be sure of it yet, but maybe she’s actually starting to enjoy his company — that is, when she forgets about the past eight years of her life.)

(Or, maybe, she thinks, as she lies down on her bed, watching the bubbles on her phone pop up and disappear over and over again, she knows that disagreeing with Roger will extend their conversation.)

Roger: james is always like that tho

Lily: really? he’s been pretty good lately i thought

Roger: always wants things his way

Roger: idk i shouldn’t be talking about this

Lily: lol

Roger: it’s just that ur nice to talk to

(Roger’s never said that to her before. She wonders if it’s because she really is nice to talk to, or if it’s because she’s just there.)

Lily: lol thanks

Roger: and i feel like i can trust you

(He’s never said that to her before, either. They’ve never really spoken about non-yearbook related things. She doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly acting like they’re friends. She can’t say she doesn’t enjoy the familiarity — this is Roger, after all, and any relationship gain with him is a good one — but she feels blindsided. It was October until people burst into her room telling her it’s Christmas, and now she’s just confused.)

Lily: yeah you can trust me

Roger: cool i’m glad

seen by Lily at 9:46pm (there’s nothing more to say).

***

Texts with Roger Davies, Tuesday, October 27th, 9:50pm

Roger: can i ask you a question

Lily: fire away

Roger: are you coming to the halloween thing this weekend

Lily: yeah was planning on it

Lily: why

Roger: cool maybe i’ll see you there

(Oh.)

(It’s Christmas morning in October. It’s Christmas morning in October.)

(Lily doesn't know much about high school relationships, hookups or otherwise, but she does know this: if a boy asks a girl if she's coming to a party, he did it for a reason. And that reason is usually not so that they can discuss the yearbook.)

Lily: yeah see you there

(There's nothing more to do but wait.)

part three

[iamdeltas]

001 agatha/wanda

(Can I just say, I find it very amusing how pretty much every time I've reblogged a fandom related ask meme within the past few months, I without fail get at least one Agatha-related ask? You guys know me well. Either that or you saw my icon and tumblr title and took a wild guess at what character I probably like haha)

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: TBH I don't know if I ship them, as in, I'm not incredibly invested or anything (as is usual for me with most ships), but I guess I casually ship them? As in, I Just Think They'd Be Neat! And that pretty much started after episode 8. I'd seen a gifset after episode 1 with Agatha and Wanda with the caption "Harold..." and I was like 👀 but I hadn't honestly thought much about the idea of them as a ship until seeing their dynamic in episode 8 because wow was that an interesting mix of fascination and hatred, especially on Agatha's end! I was very intrigued.

my thoughts: I Just Think They'd Be Neat. Like I said, I loved their dynamic, whether in the sitcom bits or in the In Real Life bits, and, I mean, who doesn't love a ship between foils, you know? (Definitely read an interview with Jac Schaeffer talking about how they're both kind of similar in that they're both a mix of good and bad so I sure felt vindicated!) I think they're more similar than either of them would care to admit and it'd be cool to see them having to maybe reluctantly team up and learn more about each other and admit/realize their surprising similarities.

What makes me happy about them: I dunno? I guess the possibilities there are for character dynamics with them?

What makes me sad about them: Uh. IDK. Maybe the fact that I'm really worried we'll never actually see them interact again and that we might never even see Agatha again (there's a part of me that's insistent that, look, if the MCU, which does kill off a majority of its villains, kept Agatha alive, that probably means they're gonna bring her back! But then the rest of me is like, this is the MCU, fool! Lower your expectations!) or if we see her again, she'll be mischaracterized or she'll not have learned from her previous encounter and will just. try to take Wanda's magic again, and words cannot state how much I Do Not Want That. I want to see Change and Growth dammit! Not just a rehash of their last encounter!

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Honestly I don't read a lot of fanfic for them. I might sometimes venture into their AO3 tag out of curiosity but most fanfic I read nowadays in general just comes from friends' recommendations, and most of their fic recs are from other fandoms soooo. But I guess one thing I've seen that irks me a tad is when fics rush through the "enemies to friends" part of the "enemies to friends to lovers" thing. I guess this is just a general enemies to lovers thing but I have seen this in a few Wanda/Agatha fics and... I get the impulse, but I really enjoy that slow journey from hatred to tolerance to learning more about each other to, not liking quite yet, but a mutual understanding, to actually enjoying each other's company to finally maybe being friends? to oh shit, maybe there's some other feelings here! to lovers. And also it just doesn't make character sense for them to, IDK, have sex with each other after a couple of chapters, especially if it's canon compliant! At this point in canon, both of them would hate each other for totally reasonable reasons! Wanda would hate Agatha for, y'know, the whole manipulating her and threatening her kids thing. Agatha would hate Wanda for, oh, I dunno, imprisoning her in her own mind behind a Nosy Neighbor Sitcom Persona. They've got some shit to work through! Let me see that process!

things I look for in fanfic: Same as with any fanfic really--good characterizations. Good characterizations will sell me on any premise, even AUs I'm normally not a fan of. (Except maybe high school AUs.)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Easy answer for Wanda: Vision. Look, they're very cute together. For Agatha, honestly, the sky's the limit. I don't have any preference and there are a lot of interesting possibilities. I once saw Agatha/Hela as a suggestion which was intriguing as hell. Also I would like to see Agatha and Nebula interact, mostly cuz I think their dynamic would be really fun and hilarious, though I do mainly mean as friends BUT I wouldn't be opposed to seeing romantic shippiness either, sooo....

My happily ever after for them: Not entirely sure. Just something involving Wanda getting to find love again, Agatha learning to care about someone other than herself for the first time in a long time, and them just... being happy together, I guess? I can't see Agatha ever getting into the heroing biz but I can see her just becoming a fun Chaotic Neutral presence just watching Wanda do her superhero thing.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: I think they switch, tbh.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Probably doing magic together.

[purplesurveys]

1010

survey from diggitydoo

Have you ever felt a baby kick? Yes, when my mom was pregnant with my brother. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? I’m only wearing a duster gown; no shorts underneath. I just got it last night, actually - my mom wanted to donate clothes to victims of a recent fire incident in Manila and so she asked my sister and I to sort through our closets for clothes we were willing to give away. My sister ended up giving away a comfy-looking duster gown that she never even wore and even smelled brand new to boot. It ended up in my hands, ha. But apart from that we gave away a lot of stuff that aren’t old uniforms or costumes (which is what most people tend to ‘donate’, ugh), so we just hope they end up with people who really need them. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Last night I went on our org’s Discord server and we played Jackbox games for around an hour or so. It was my first time to socialize again after around two months and I really, really needed that moment. I even met the org’s newest roster of applicants for this semester, which was neat. :) What was the scariest moment of your life? Men terrorizing me or near-car crashes I’ve had.

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? The name is familiar, but that’s the most I know.

Pancakes or flapjacks? I guess pancakes, since I don’t even know what flapjacks are. What kind of computer are you on? It’s a laptop. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what's your favorite dish? For sure. Pork buns or minced pork with eggplant. With century egg on the side, yum. What are you usually doing at midnight? Either passed out or desperately trying to sleep because I don’t want to lose any more hours of sleep and risk being cranky for the whole of the next day. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? No. The worst thing that’s happened was being someone’s ball date (and unbeknownst to me, they apparently had feelings for me at the time) while I was already with someone. If so, how did it turn out? He figured it out by himself, which I still feel bad about. But the timing was super off and I just couldn’t find a moment to sit him down and set the record straight...ah well. It was just super complicated at the time. Give me your brief definition of love. My favorite love-related quote is “Love never says ‘I have done enough’” and for the longest time, that has been my guiding principle when it comes to it. Definitely a tad bit cheesy, but telling myself that over and over makes it easier to continue loving the people I care for and be patient with them when they’re being asses. Gab included, then and now. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? It differs for everyone but I’m a thigh girl through and through. What kind of shoes do you wear? Uh...various ones? I have sneakers, flats, heels, flip-flops, probably a couple more kinds that I can’t place at the moment. What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Resorting to physical violence. I was a kid constantly exposed to violence in my old home, and at the time I genuinely thought that’s how most things were settled or pacified. I still feel like shit about it to this day, and my backstory isn’t an excuse at all; but the past is the past and I’ve been trying to make up for it by being a much more gentle angry person in the last few years. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? Nope. Do you like the smell of coconuts? For some reason I can’t stand anything coconut (which is a damn shame considering I’m Filipino) but I love dishes with heaps of coconut milk in them, like curry. That’s the one coconut-related thing I enjoy, but otherwise I’ve never learned to appreciate the taste and smell of buko juice, coconut shavings, coconut pies, and everything else coconut. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? From what my old PE class showed me, around 70 to 80 lbs. Do you take Tums? Idk what that is so I guess I don’t. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? I’m not sure if I’ve been to a pier before. I bet it feels wonderful and freeing and I’d love to visit one; but I also can’t keep myself from associating piers with the recurring image of Jennifer Connelly’s character standing on one from Requiem for a Dream. How about under one? No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? Not sure if it was 11 or 12, but it was definitely one of those years. Do you feel that way around anyone now? Yeah, if they allowed me to see them. But I’m shut out now so I haven’t had that sensation in a while.

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? No. Do you ever sing to yourself? Sure. I’m sure most people do every once in a while. What is a sound that relaxes you? Ocean waves have never failed. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? ‘Main goal’ sounds so overwhelming; I make it a point to avoid one overarching goal and instead make little goals and plans here and there depending on where I am in life. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? Never heard of it. What is your main heritage? Filipino. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? I hate pickles. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? Mozzarella and feta are my faves, but I love cheese and am willing to be adventurous when it comes to it. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? Eh, they can stay in the sea where they can actually survive. I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to keeping fish as pets. How about a farm animal? Probably pig. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? No, and ew. What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? Haven’t been exposed to a lot of new music lately and the songs I do get to hear on the radio whenever I drive are actually pretty good. This totally doesn’t answer your question but my favorites so far have been Birthday by Disclosure, Kehlani, and Syd; and Plain by Benee, Lily Allen, and Flo Milli. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? Any Kanye song I like. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? Not wanting to go into another downward spiral. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? Extremely rarely. I only do when there’s a new slang I’m completely unfamiliar with. Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? Stupid for the most part. I find them too immature or vulgar, but that’s one of the points of the website so I guess I’m just not in their target audience lol. What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'transformation'? Uh, the Transformer robots.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? My cousins’ toy soldiers.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? Eh, a few times. If so, what did you do? I’ve been pulled to drinking sessions here and there when I really shouldn’t be drinking because I had an important test tomorrow or something else was happening the next day that was just as significant. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? Teeth, I’m pretty sure. I’ve had braces, needed a tooth extracted, gotten a cavity, and gone through a severe toothache.

Do a lot of people check you out when you're in public? Idk I never look around because being aware of it would just freak me out and make me feel like I’m naked. What is a good name for a turtle? Would depend on their personality. And this applies to all kinds of pets, at least for me. I don’t decide on their names until I have a good grasp of their attitude. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? Stereotypical Filipino mom and valley girl. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? Sure. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? I’ve only kissed one person so I’m not the best judge for this; but I always like it when my lower lip is tugged or grazed on. How many times a year do you have a family thing? This is a little vague for me. Do you mean get-togethers? Giant-ass reunions? Movie nights? Game nights?  What are the best things to put in a smoothie? I only like one kind of smoothie and it’s sold by a local joint – and I think I’ve already shared this before but that smoothie of theirs that I like has “apple, banana, cinnamon, oats, coco sugar, chia seeds, greens, and soy milk,” according to their menu. So I guess those are the best ingredients for me, ha. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? When I find something extremely delicious, yeah. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? For the most part I can’t wait to get out of suburban residential villages. I’d love to finally experience living in a condo in a super busy and active city. Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? Yes.

Are you watching your weight? Not really. I’m trying to gain pounds though, if anything. I haven’t eaten much in the last two months. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? I trust y’all with my life, so that’s one. Apart from Tumblr, the best friends I made were probably the people in the AJ/Punk fandom, back when I had a stan account on Twitter. I don’t remember most of their names now and we fizzled out pretty quickly when both parts of the ship left WWE, but I look back on that period with fondness. Those people made high school a lot easier for me. What makes your best friend your best friend? She doesn’t care whether I’m on top of the world with happiness or completely self-destructive and crying my eyes out; she has always been present. Do you have a drunk uncle? *rolls eyes* We don’t wanna open up that can of worms... Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? Nope. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? Based on personal experience and not to come off as sexist, but it’s liking wrestling. I have never met a girl in real life who has even the most remote interest in pro wrestling or can tell me who Hulk Hogan is. And the ones I’ve had discussions with - from shallow/casual to in-depth - have all been guys. Seeing girls who are into wrestling is like finding a rare Pokemon, at least in real life. What is the girliest thing you do, if you're a girl? Idk. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? Probably the spork tattoo of Josh, a crew member from Good Mythical Morning. It’s just a line tattoo. Of a spork. On his arm. But he managed to make it so goddamn fascinating lmao; and apparently, as I learned just now, it has a pretty touching backstory to it too, which makes it a million times cooler. Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? I’ve never finished any of the crafts I bought. Never finished a coloring book page much less an entire coloring book, a painting, a gem painting...it’s something I’ll have to bring my butt to do one of these days. I can’t imagine how fulfilling it would feel. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat the whole thing but I honestly find Oreos too sweet and I’ve always much rather preferred Oreo-flavored stuff instead of the actual cookies.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? My mom. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? She’s fed me for 22 years and gave me an education, I guess. Though it’s something I appreciate more so than like. Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? Probably as a dumb kid, when historical context wasn’t a thing to me yet. I still wince thinking about it, but I suppose what matters is being better and more responsible moving forward. Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? Angela and to some extent Andi. 

If so, what about them do you like most? They are both understanding when it comes to me - almost to a fault. What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? When you say ‘hotdogs’ here, it refers to the sausages itself. The sandwich kind of hotdog isn’t super popular here. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? My siblings are still resting in their rooms; my dad is preparing for work, I think. What is the most money you've ever had at one time? Something like P10,000 or P15,000 when my mom needed me to pay for something in cash. How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? Idk, maybe 10 minutes. I won’t be fast, that’s for sure. Look down. What do you see? My legs and the pillow I’m sitting on. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Right now, probably my failed relationship. I haven’t gotten to the sharing stage yet and remotely thinking about it gets my voice all shaky. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? Paramore. What kind of mood were you in most of today? It’s only 7:52 AM. My only mood so far is just woke up. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? Yeah. Because people in this damn house never knock. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. The word ‘ariba.’ What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Break my trust. So simple but it packs a punch. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Idk if I’ve ever been that aggressive. When I want to do something destructive towards someone I always end up asking what it would feel like if the action was done to me, and it’s always been enough to sway me away from doing the thing. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? Sad. How about the last person (your last ex)? Same person. What is the best invention ever invented? Air conditioners.

What is something that needs to be invented? Portable air conditioners. What always makes you burp? My burps come randomly. What are you doing tomorrow? It’s my last weekend before my new job, soooooooo...I’ll be bumming around for my last two days of freedom.

[she-toadmask]

I’m kind of in a mood suddenly so below the cut there will be me just talking about fanfics I have read or am reading and why I like fanfic and stuff because I need to just

Fanfiction fucking rocks the basic part before all the stuff about it as the story just...it’s so easy to access and there’s so much and it’s just all there on the internet I don’t have to find a physical book

And on AO3 (where 90% of good currently-updating fic is afaik) there is TAGGING where you will know what you’re getting into (unless the author suddenly adds a sex scene and only then updates the tags but at least they give a warning at the start of the chapter but it doesn’t bother me as much as it did a couple years ago as long as I know it’s coming I know it’s a tool and it has its uses) with character drama and deaths and all that jazz not to mention how Ash being a badass has a specific tag and just other random things having tags that are important parts of the story

Like there are multiple fics I have found (not all of them are living fics sadly) of writing Ash’s journey in the beginning differently, like there was one I saw once that I kind of forgot to keep reading where he went to Sinnoh (and was still rivals with Paul and I think their ship tag was there?) and it said it was following game plot and then there’s one that I definitely don’t have open anymore because it didn’t update for some amount of time where he had a Joltik and then a Ferroseed and it’s really cool and a different one that’s still living and it’s called Pity of the World and Jesse + James (who is genderfluid in this fic) + Meowth are good people and stuff and just steal abused Pokemon and they run into Ash and they all end up being travel buddies and Ash understands Pokemon (not literally of course that’s not this fic) and also just knows what James’ gender is before they say anything and also in one chapter Zapdos is in Gringy City and says something about friendship being for mortals or something??? idk we’ll see and then there’s a different fic that I was reading and lost when switching devices and Ash was raised by Pokemon and literally can speak Pokemon and it was really neat but I haven’t tried to find where I left off because I’m too lazy for that tbh but it is still updating it’s Symbiosis or Symbiotic or something like that

Most things involving Ash that aren’t shippy or weird like that (ok there are some I’m not interested in but whapdfajaldjakjdf) end up being really cool because he’s a fucking legendary magnet which can either be played for laughs or deadly serious or just not be part of the fic if it isn’t relevant and so many fics use Aura it’s really cool (including Pity of the World I think he mega evolves Pidgeot (who evolves before leaving) when he fights Sabrina who does not have a doll in this fic) and there are different ways they do it and the thing I was mentioning about his connection with Pokemon like maybe it’s just a bit more than normal or it’s just yes he is everything and I kinda skipped out on gens 6 and 7 of the anime but I get enough to understand what they mean in chat fics and when referring to it in other fics it’s really cool

I think I mentioned Creepypasta and how there were two Harry Potter Creepypasta fics, one that was one and was slow to update if it wasn’t dead and one that was on the fourth one actually I was wrong about what number it was I think and updates every two weeks the first one is more lighthearted/written by a younger person like Slendy is a character and Harry x a lot of the ‘pastas I guess and it takes place starting before 4th year and the beginning is kinda meh with some weird dialogue and absurd levels of Dumbledore Ron and Hermione bashing but it does call out some of the other legitimate problems like how the lake trial in the tournament just kidnaps people which is very big because it was Ben who was kidnapped so big yikes there and honestly it’s not what you want to read if you want something really high-quality and serious like not that it doesn’t take itself seriously but it feels closer to something I would have read when I was in middle school than most of the Sanders Sides fics I read (just using that as comparison because the vast majority of that is well-written stuff). Then the other one!!!! For one it has a much more realistic/developed take on the Creepypastas’ existence like how the stories are how they exist with Slenderman being a cosmic horror being thing more than a character with character which is always really cool and Jeff kidnaps Harry as a baby (he is Boy when he is with the Creepypasta and Harry when at Hogwarts and there’s some really cool stuff about how they’re different) and, having lived with murderers, Harry gives zero fucks about things and kills Fluffy in the first book long before other stuff happens, Quirrel tries to use him to get the stone but gets annihilated at the mirror because family and then Voldemort is just a giant white snake for the rest of the series so far and also because he sucks Lockhart tries to exorcise Harry because Harry is fucking nuts and it’s great and also Harry is a Hufflepuff and there is probably more Gryffindor bashing than is necessary and pretty much all the adults get bashed for sucking (like in book 3 the boggart stuff is called out for being hella dangerous for them also Harry can’t cast the Patronus charm make of that what you will idk what) though Harry does make for quite the conversation topic among the teachers, Harry x Neville is the main ship and Neville eventually gets resorted into Hufflepuff because the Gryffindors are being massive dicks to him, also Harry flirts with Draco because Harry gives no fucks and it’s great (also both books give Luna lots of love, like the young one she’s a Seer like from Madame Macabre’s old webcomic that’s dead as it gets and the long one she’s just a good character and shit) and Harry makes these books to spread Slenderman’s legend throughout Britain/the Wizarding World and Draco may have gotten one and survived???? but now Neville has one during the summer months (and also through feeding Fanged Geraniums or whatever live stuff and blood instead of bonemeal he is creating Audrey II and straight-up says something about having to call it Harry Jr. but that’s probably just a little joke and isn’t going to stay beyond this but it’s just fun because Little Shop of Horrors slaps) and I have big fear about him doing the stuff and getting hurt and Harry/Boy conflict will be scary

There’s this other fic I found when trying to find good fics involving Ash and it’s kinda weird and seems to be written by a younger author but we’ll see where things go, like Harry got transported by Celebi to the world of Pokemon and Giovanni is Silver and Ash’s dad and they live with him and also Harry does too and he’s in a wheelchair and also is really smart and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit longer seeing their dynamics before when Harry is 14 the Goblet of Fire somehow spits his name out and Celebi helps with getting Harry (and also the other three because of course) safely there without dying because dimensional travel is hard and Celebi is friend and Luna gets to be important here too I think she’s shown up as a named student and guided them to a room and seems to know things about the castle and that’s kinda all there is so far there’s a bit more but it’s not got a lot yet I hope the author keeps going it’s a weird idea but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes

Oh I forgot to talk about it but there’s this whump Ash fic that was being written under one title but it got dropped and now it’s being rewritten with the same concept but under a new title and going about a lot of things a different way it’s just the same starting premise and the fic is Helpless and Ash almost dies multiple times and there’s this theme of adults failing him and also Gary fucks a thing up and Ash needs support and therapy (a good number of fics have Ash needing therapy but given the shit he’s been through that is not surprising especially from my limited knowledge of Kalos holy shit Lysandre was doing some mad shit) and it’s just good but it is a lot of hospital and Ash being hurt and almost dying so be warned if that isn’t a safe read for you

The reason I don’t just outright block explicit anymore despite the horrors of trying to find safe Pokemon fic on AO3 amidst the consensual porn, incest porn, pokephilia porn, etc., is I randomly decided to try and find some Sonic fanfic on AO3 because a couple people on YouTube have been doing Sonic story stuff (Sonic What If has some good stuff that’s just... what-if scenarios and then there’s Sonic Rewritten which takes a game’s plot and then redoes it but good like the Deadly Six having personalities or Sonic 06 not having maybe bestiality or Generations being more than ‘oh past and present stages now have nostalgia’ and Robotnik and Eggman are significantly different people in that one and it’s really cool) and I thought maybe I would find some good stuff on AO3 (which I have but nothing that I want to ramble about specifically though there was one fic where Eggman does Tails clone and then his original body dies so he’s stuck looking like Tails and it’s kinda wild) and I found a fic that was marked explicit because torture and violence (honestly it wasn’t that bad) and I like it and don’t want to miss something that I might like by accidentally blocking it and now when I try to find Pokemon fic I have to see Leon x Hop and Pokemon x human smut.

There’s one Sanders Sides fic that I was reading and I don’t remember the name nor do I know if it’s updating I think I lost it but it started from the beginning of the series with the Dark Sides being a platonic poly family and when they weren’t in the episode they were talking about it/the Light Sides and it’s honestly really really good and the author just decided to have Deceit’s name be Janus and it was amazing when it turned out that was his real name it was just great but IDK if the fic has been abandoned, I think I lost it in the shift, but it was really good (but sympathetic dark sides and unsympathetic patton and roman and logan for a bit so do be warned if those aren’t comfortable for you)

Oh yeah I remembered another fic I can talk about there was this one Creepypasta fic and it’s completed and it is a Jeff x Reader but it kind of just stops being about the romance after a certain point and just goes way off the rails. It starts like ‘oh this will be a normal x reader with mansion and Slendy is dad and Zalgo is probably evil’ and then NOPE SLENDERMAN HAS BEEN RAISING FAMILIES THAT LOVE HIM TO TURN THEM INTO CRYSTALS TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL AND ZALGO IS AGAINST THAT and it just is great like I never see Zalgo being good, like Slenderman being evil or whatever is plenty common (especially in the innumerable ARG fics I don’t read because I don’t have the attention span to learn what the fuck the source is) but never in tandem with Zalgo being anything but chaotic evil n shit it’s wild and it’s great and also Slenderman’s parents have faces I guess idk that was weird also there is one smut chapter but like the author said you can skip the smut and I did and didn’t feel like I missed any plot stuff so if that’s a no for you just keep an eye out for the author’s warning. It is by a younger writer, as demonstrated by its daily updates while it was being written, tiny chapters, and some general writing style stuff common to younger writers, but honestly I just love it for being something so wildly different, under the guise of a typical x Reader fic.

Speaking of ship stuff and Creepypasta the trilogy of Sans x Creepypasta fics are amazing. The writer definitely improves over time, the beginning of the first book kind of has the weird ‘then I knew I was in love’ stuff from a couple of the pastas (then again I’m ace and demiro so starting romance is just generally weird) but it is just a really good series. Sans ends up with seven kids in the third book and, while everyone else in the Undertale cast is bashed in the first two, Papyrus does seem to get some redemption in the third, so there is that. Also Murderer Sans is a fantastic tag, Gaster made a deal with Zalgo to create the skelebros and Sans is more demon than Papyrus by a lot and Zalgo is trying to kidnap Sans and Sans’ children so he has his family together to destroy the world and wander free and it’s wild and also Chara and Flowey show up and also LJ being an angel is mentioned and relevant to the plot for a bit so that’s neat and I don’t know all the details of how it ends because I lost it when I shifted and didn’t want to find where I was but it’s a great fic (albeit with a few things I can argue on) and the author has also been writing other Sans x Creepypasta stuff but I haven’t read it because idk

I really wish I had a good Minecraft fanfic to gush about but I really don’t it’s hard to find Minecraft fic that isn’t tuber-based, either Dream and friends (which occasionally I find a good one but so much is either Dream SMP which I have no interest in getting into, involves people I don’t know from Dream SMP, or just is shippy or straight-up doesn’t have a premise I’m interested in) or Hermitcraft (I fell behind so I have no idea what’s happening anymore) (but also like Mianite and Aphmau stuff but not as much as used to, but now Dream rules all so), and it just sucks. Like if some of it was Team Crafted fic I would be on board like hell yeah give me that nostalgia juice but it’s so much shit I just don’t know. I love the idea of Minecraft fanfic because there are so many options for the world and you can either make your own characters and you probably have to but then there’s just if you use Steve Alex Herobrine or Notch how they are written depends on the author and I live for that shit it’s a big part of why I read Creepypasta fic it’s because I like when there are different ways characters can be done (not unsympathetic or sympathetic like Patton so much like straight-up different characters) like Herobrine and Notch are the big ones like good vs evil, involved vs not, serious vs comedic, there are so many different ways to play them and I’m so disappointed AO3 doesn’t have much of it and so much of it is just Dream stuff and it usually just isn’t what I’m after in a fic.

The only other fics coming to mind right now are two wildly different fics involving Springtrap x Reader, one of them is being transferred from Wattpad for copy reasons, complete with tiny-ass chapters and that language that’s just so middle-school in the best way possible (like William and Springtrap are different consciousnesses and they way the author describes their struggle at one point is just so similar to a stupid thing I did and I have so much affection for it) and the other is legitimately really really good and the reader-insert has recently found out that Springtrap is William Afton and has murdered many children and they are currently dying multiple times to help his victims pass on because they can see ghosts and it’s actually really good and I have no idea where things are going, reader has currently met up with Michael Afton, currently all purple and dead and stuff, and has learned about remnant (weird-ass shit from modern FNAF lore) and it’s getting wild. I feel like there are two types of FNAF fic, ones in the style of FNAF 3/4 and earlier and ones from maybe 4 onward. Like ones where the lore was basically ‘bad man committed murder against children and they’re possessing the animatronics and that’s why they’re trying to kill you’ and then 4 starts having some more expansive lore ish and then after that it just goes everywhere with remnant and scooping and even more locations and also the books matter probably??? There is this one fic involving Glitchtrap that hasn’t updated in a bit and it’s fun, I like the idea of Glitchtrap and really wish I could read more fic just centered around FNAF VR. Then again, BEN was always one of my favorites and after I stopped being absolutely terrified of Herobrine I really liked his possibilities, maybe I just like the story utility and possible execution of characters with wide-ranging powers over technology and affecting the real world outside of it, IDK.

Ok I’m out of ramble energy, and also topics unless I go more in-depth about specific character options, but my energy is gone so I think that’s the end of it. I typed 3,000 words about fanfictions I’m reading and probably could have talked more about some of them if I wanted. This is my new hyperfixation. I guess. At least I know I have one, it’s reassuring to know for some reason, like for a while I missed how much Pokemon was my life in elementary school and Minecraft was in sixth grade, like it was nice just having something to focus on, though maybe that’s just the college and depression talking.

That was good, I’m glad I did that. Y’all are loved.

If you seriously read this entire thing... Wow. I really appreciate you digitally listening to me talking about random fanfic shit that I like. You’re really really cool.

[potatoesandsunshine]

truly incoherent late-night ramblings about the mighty nein and pride under the cut. an unorganized stream of consciousness basically. i’m so tired i have so many Thoughts

cad saying tonight that nobody in the m9 is vain (can’t remember if he said “none of us are vain” or “none of you are vain” but i’m going with the first one bc i can’t watch it again till it goes up on yt) really got me thinking because my immediate reaction was “no? that’s not true?” but i couldn’t figure out why exactly i thought that - so naturally i spent the rest of the episode pondering it.

like... the members of the mighty nein are each in their own way juggling a massive load of insecurity and in some cases just pure self-loathing but they’re still very... they’re not vain, but they are proud to the point of arrogance which is just super interesting from a character perspective (just wanna note here this is not a “and this makes x character A Bad Person” hot take or whatever, characters have character flaws and that’s what makes them interesting to me, please don’t come to my inbox saying i hate fjord or caleb or caduceus or veth or jester or beau or yasha because that’s just not the case) anyway imo yasha is currently the only one who hasn’t shown a big moment of this flaw, everybody else has. yes it’s possible i don’t remember a moment for yasha at this second but tbh she’s spent so much time getting controlled by other forces this campaign like :( give yasha a break challenge :( she gets one from this post

early on beau had her kind of rebel without a cause, too cool for school thing going on - to me that’s a kind of pride? like it came from a feeling of isolation and disconnect from the people around her and the structures her life had operated in and also the idea that “i’m the only one who sees how bullshit everything is” that’s (at least in my own experience) a really common feeling in late teens/early twenties. honestly the first moment that shook her out of it was dairon imo (i know that a lot of beau’s change is attributed to molly’s death but i honestly think it started back with that brawl in the warehouse) and dairon has continued to be a (flawed themselves) check against arrogance for beau which is really interesting to me? anyway continuing

fjord’s whole persona that kinda wasn’t a persona during the pirates arc (i’m talking specifically about the captain pursuing his own ends, not about the accent thing) was very much a character based on knowing more about the world than everybody else did, even though i don’t think fjord himself believed it? honestly for all that you can say about fjord i think he’s lowest on the list in terms of pride (besides yasha!! who isn’t on this list!!) bc he’s very honest about the fact that he often feels like he just does not know what’s going on around him. props to that bc it is hard to do.

veth’s biggest Moment of this (and pride just doesn’t feel like the right word but i don’t know how else to capture the meaning, the idea of Knowing Better than everyone else i guess? you know what i mean) that i can think of is the letter to astrid in zadash that everyone screamed about bc caleb was the current fandom favorite sadboi at the time; it was such a big moment of trying to arrange someone else’s life for them that’s like. like it’s a Big Moment idk how to explain it. i think a lot of the responsibility she feels for yezza and luc also relies on the premise that she Knows Best which again is super interesting because it clearly causes her a lot of guilt that she’s not doing Enough for them in her own eyes when it’s like... like... talk to each other... idk idk i have Feelings about the brenattos. Arranging the lives of other people, no matter your intentions, is imo a thing that comes from thinking you Know Better than they do. 

caleb... i so do not want to re-litigate the disintegrate discourse that was imo truly a waste of time last week but i do agree with the idea that caleb’s got ye olde mythological-level hubris. the man has a goal of turning back time to rewrite his own mistakes and like it’s not just a dream it’s a Goal He’s Working Towards which means that either 1) he believes it’s possible for him to do it or 2) he can’t admit that it isn’t possible and he has to live with ‘his’ mistakes (i can’t get into the caleb stuff rn but uhhh it’s not as much a personal failing as you believe it is caleb). both of these viewpoints are like. so dependent on viewing himself as A Power That Affects The Universe instead of someone who is affected by it which is kind of the sentiment i’m trying to get at idk idk it’s late i’m tired

it’s interesting with jester and caduceus for a couple reasons but the fact that they’re both literally blessed by gods is like... like i can’t say they’re unduly proud (i don’t really think that any of the m9 are like unduly proud) because they’re literally made More Important by the deities of the setting from the moment of introduction but we do still see really interesting stuff from both of them imo

caduceus thinks he knows better than everybody else which is something i think we’ve seen from the beginning as well? that’s part of why he’s kind of set himself up as the Wise Councilor of the group (and if you ask me, why he seems unable to reach out for support of his own - all the instances of someone digging deeper into him were instigated by other people from what i can remember right now) and it’s been neat to see him reconciling things he Knows Are Right from his time in the cemetery with a more complicated reality in the wider world. it’s hard for me to say that cad’s arrogant because he thinks he’s privy to the literal divine plan when he is privy to an actual divine plan thanks to the wildmother but i think it’s interesting to see it in the small moments. we saw it more earlier i think? but like this part of his character isn’t Gone. as long as he’s got himself designated as the group moral compass i think there’s an element of this in play. 

and jester ohh jester i love u i’m so sorry everything has been so hard for so long like aaaa imagine you find out your best friend (who is also your god) has been lying to you for all of your friendship and also lying to all of his followers (because it turns out he’s not a god, technically) that’s so hard anyway. anway. i don’t wanna derail into talking about how much i love jester but i love her ok? ok. anyway jester’s current defense mechanism is retreating into the fact that she’s the best follower of the traveler and he loves her the most, because she’s Special (which again, her god told her this there’s literally nothing i can say against it) but we’re seeing that kind of fracture in an interesting way if you ask me? because the fact of the matter is, whenever jester asks a question about ‘the followers of the traveler’ she is implicitly also asking a question about herself (this is why i was so fascinated by her convo with fjord tonight also). it only works for So Long to keep repeating that you’re special when you’re not sure about it anymore oh jester i am so worried about u ohhh :( i am so sleepy but i have so many thoughts

[inmyarmswrappedin]

DRUCK reactions - s4 ep1

Ages ago I said I wanted to write meta about Cris’ and Matteo’s seasons, so of course, when I finally sit down to write reactions to a Skam remake, it’s about Amira instead.

A few weeks back I was composing tumblr posts in bed before falling asleep (my number 1 hobby lol) when it struck me that the writing for Amira’s season was really… indefensibly bad. So let’s stroll down through memory lane and revisit Druck s4, or how to throw away your potential because you have to put out this season before summer is over!

CLIP 1: Dark clouds over Winterberg

Obviously I’m writing these with the benefit of hindsight, but I will try and incorporate what my initial reaction to a clip was whenever I can remember.

Sometime between the Abiball episode and episode 32, I argued (on twitter) that the Abiball special was the Abiball episode instead, the first episode of Amira’s season. It would thus introduce us to the conflicts and characters that would take place during Amira’s season. I thought that in addition to the obvious Amira/Mohammed, Carlos/Kiki/Essam would be important, Kiki’s family life would be important, Stefan would be important, and David/Matteo would probably not be important as they seemed to be doing just fine in their scenes.

I didn’t think Mia/Alex would be important because I didn’t actually watch their clip lol. The Winterberg stans on my twitter orbit thought the clip was cute and nothing to worry about. That should’ve been my first clue that the (twitter) stan habit of repeating the “we never lose” mantra doesn’t make for great viewing comprehension, because watching the clip, it’s so obvious that shit is gonna go down lol.

Mia moves from one of the flat share’s bathrooms to the other because they never really recreated Mia’s room in the s3 flat share.

I still haven’t watched Mia’s episode, so I don’t know how all this stuff is going to get resolved, but it seems like Mia doesn’t think they can handle a LDR, and Alex is picking up on those vibes hard. I guess I don’t really get why Mia is so pessimistic about it because at that age I kinda thought a few months break weren’t really an obstacle. (Not sure if it would help me to watch Mia’s season, because this seems like a wholly new conflict.)

Anyway, Alex acts sweet/reassuring (I really like how soft spoken everyone is in this episode), so Mia puts it out of her mind for now. But Idk, they haven’t really spoken about the elephant in the room.

CLIP 2: Don’t call them the chastest evak ever again

Tbh this clip comes across as a direct rebuttal to all the s3 commentary about David and Matteo seeming like they’re not into each other, or like they aren’t ~passionate~ like the other evaks.

It’s like, “these gremlins are horny on main, now shut up.”

But I like that they’re fully dressed, like yes, you can show physical intimacy without undressing your teen actors (shade fully intended).

I love Lukas von Horbatschewsky’s hair and I’m very jealous of Matteo in this sequence, lmao.

Luis Sepúlveda died of coronavirus this year, in Spain. You’re welcome for that bit of 2020 misery dripping onto this cute clip.

I do think David feels guilty that he may have caused Matteo to fail his Spanish exam because of David’s own issues, which I think is very on brand for David. Obviously it wasn’t his fault.

I really like how soft spoken everyone is in this episode, 2X.

And this has been said a million times by now, but David and Matteo are the one evak version where they’re the same age (Joana is in the same year as Cris, but is a year older, so she must’ve gotten held back at some point). So it’s funny, and possibly a reference to Isak and Even, to see David talking about what it’d be like if they had that age difference. Like, maybe David would be more like Even in behavior! And, going by Matteo’s reaction, he wouldn’t be into that.

This clip really feels like the ending to Matteo and David. They’ll go on a road trip, they’ll work on David’s movie, they’ll be around, but this clip is their conclusion. They both feel secure and content in their relationship, and ready for everything that’s to come.

Like I said on the post about Cris and Joana, I like that David and Matteo don’t have further issues. And while I have tons of issues with Druck s4, which I will be talking about forever in the following posts, I never had an issue with how they deployed Matteo or David. (Okay, self. Now say that again without crying about David’s season that should have been.)

Fucking David cutting their make out short only to then say such a highkey flirty, romantic thing to Matteo though. No wonder Matteo’s like, “STOP, I’M SUPPOSED TO STUDY.”

CLIP 3: A challenger appears!

I like the fanon that David is a healthy eater (or at least in comparison to Matteo), because all we ever see David eat of his own volition (i.e. not food that was made for him) is candy.

God, I love Kiki snatching David’s fruity gummies out of his hands. It makes me laugh every time, particularly how she demands to know if the candy is vegan.  

Hanna looks beautiful. ;_;

There’s a split second when Jonas is about to give Hanna that box where David looks alarmed in the background. In my mind he’s all, “Bro, no. Not a public proposal. Reel it back in, bro!”

And then, to the surprise of Jonas and all the viewers, we find out that not only are Jonas and Hanna not together, but Hanna is dating German Arthur. Again, in “fandom refuses to acknowledge storyline conflict until it’s staring right at them” news, Stefan had actually been introduced via an audio to Hanna the day before, but people were convinced it was Hanna’s dad. Whose actor they called just to record an audio. Clearly.

My belief at this point was that Stefan would be relevant to Amira’s storyline, but instead it was just a way to give Hanna her own episode. 🤡

Matteo’s transformation into Michi is complete by donning his grandpa hat.

He also makes to trip David for no real reason. Throwback to Unter Wasser.

Matteo saying Inshallalalah in a sing song voice is cute, but so annoying.

Matteo Florenzi: He’s a pain in the ass, but we love him.

CLIP 4: I guess Abdi and Axel picked up his grades at another point

I love the way Matteo grabs David’s head to pull him along. They’re so cute and I’m gonna enjoy every second.

Jonas also grabs Hanna along, because fans needed to be further confused as to what was happening with Hanna and Stefan and Jonas.

Thank you, Druck, for telling me Kiki’s and Amira’s grades, but as you can understand, that’s nowhere near enough to satisfy my curiosity and I will be needing to know everyone’s GPA because that is the kind of thing that’s important to me. What about it!!!

I think, going by how impressed Mia is, that Mia’s grade isn’t as good as Amira’s. Which I think is a neat detail, since the Nooras are kind of supposed to be the perfect girls. I like that Amira is even better than Mia at school.

I thought the concept of Carlos failing his final exam and maybe realizing school wasn’t his thing would’ve been an interesting storyline to explore, but I’m not mad that it didn’t happen. Hopefully Druck will touch on it with the next kids.

And we’re now treated to three reveals about Kiki. Kiki has a sister (now she has two), she likes the idea of moving out and living with Carlos, and her mom isn’t doing well.

The remakes trying to develop their Vildes past s4 make sense to me. By the end of Skam, Vilde clearly was the character who’d been the most robbed of a season, there were several potential storylines to do with her. Financial instability, alcoholic mom, eating disorders, plus it seemed obvious that any season taking place during the girls’ russetide should go to her. And that’s without getting into Vilde’s strong denial that she was a lesbian.

So the remakes are sitting on all these potential storylines, but as we now know, they can’t make their own Vilde season.

And from a European TV exec’s point of view, Vilde (who in every version is a white, skinny, ostensibly straight girl) is a very safe main after the gay and Muslim seasons.

Cue the LITTLE SISTER.  

I get why people are fed up with the Vildes’ prominence in the remakes that are in their latter stages, but at the same time we got 8 versions of Noora’s season, most of which are a limpdicked enemies to lovers story with a misguided sexual assault storyline tacked at the end. (And I say misguided because after a strong start, it’s mostly about what William will think, how William will react, I can’t tell William about this, etc.) So in my case, I’ve had quite enough Noora to last me a lifetime, but my Vilde thirst has only begun to be quenched.

Tangent over, Kiki lies that she’s not going to the lake because she’s going to check on Carlos. Bad form, Kiki.

CLIP 5: Graduation (Friends Forever).mp3

In clown news, I predicted there’d be a clip between the Kiki stuff and the actual dance (maybe a Sam clip), as it seemed to me there wasn’t much of a connection between Kiki looking sad on that ping pong table and PARTY TIME. Lol at me.

And speaking of clowning, while I thought the Abiball episode was part of s4, I also thought that was fine because it was just doing the multi POV episode in the beginning of the season rather than at the end, right? Wrong.

As much as it would’ve been great if Sam and Abdi had storylines pertaining to racism and islamophobia (whether Abdi is or isn’t a Muslim, people would probably assume he is), I also have to admit… This conversation is hilarious.

“I want to have intercourse with you.” [glass breaks in the background]

Abdi closing his speech with a wide smile gvvhvh.

The first hundred times I watched this scene, I thought Alex seemed a bit alarmed at the conversation taking place, but really… We’re back to stone-faced Alex lol.

Don’t kill me, but I feel a little bad for Abdi in this moment. He really put himself out there and Sam just leaves without giving him an answer, yikes. I actually got tired of Abdi’s sad sackiness during the season, but right now I feel for him. L

There’s this smile Jonas sometimes directs at dudes (like Alex here) that makes me think… Bi. He also directs it at Matteo in s3.

Ugh.

There’s a parallel universe where Stefan was the villain of Amira’s season, and it would’ve been a much more interesting season than the one we got.

Because Stefan is a bit of a Darth Jonas. He works for Greenpeace, but, at least in this scene, seems a bit full of himself, and like… twisting the knife in a way that feels like it has to be intentional. And it would’ve been so interesting if Druck had tackled the white dudes who seem like they’re not going to be assholes about Muslims, but then turn around and say some shocking garbage. I’m sure we’ve all met a guy like that before.

In my mind, Stefan would’ve driven a wedge between Hanna and Amira, which would’ve been way more compelling than what we got, but on the other hand, it probably would’ve made fandom people hate Hanna, and people outside of fandom hate Amira.

Anyway, tag teaming gays! I love how David and Matteo share a look and immediately take care of both Jonas and Stefan.

I also love it when David looks murderous. It looks good on him.

But I feel like this didn’t go anywhere? Like, Matteo always hated Stefan and continued hating Stefan until the finale. In this scene, David seems to dislike Stefan just as much, but it’s not a thread they bother following. It’s too bad because I think Matteo and David together sabotaging Stefan is a lot funnier than just Matteo doing it.

I love how soft spoken Amira is when telling Essam not to show up at her graduation party. I would’ve been a lot less polite lmao.

You know, I actually thought Kiki was genuine here when she said she wasn’t a fan of competitions. Obviously that’s not the Kiki we’ve known until this point, but like, I thought it was meant to show character development on her part, But we’ll talk about THAT more in the following episodes.

Matteo fully blames their win on David being so hot, mysterious and new, and it’s hilarious because that’s also what initially drew him to David. Like, “fuck you for being so hot!”

I thought it was such a nice detail that they brought back the girl from the refugee classes in s1. We’re saying goodbye to all these school people who are going on their own post high school journeys without us!

In my mind, Abdi and Alex are talking about something completely serious, like, I don’t know, Abdi’s dad wanting him to study business and Alex advising Abdi on the best business schools in Berlin or something.

I feel like Hanna is the one girl in the squad who really doesn’t feel ready for post high school life and I HATE the writers so much for how they wrapped her character up, but we’ll save that for later.

I could watch Matteo passing the tiara (=the main) to Amira forever. The way he tips his hat and looks like even he’s a little surprised that he (a character like him!) was ever the lead on a teen show, David’s voice asking Matteo if he’s coming, Matteo leaving with David to live happily ever after, the initial notes of Just Got Paid as Amira looks at nighttime Berlin. This meme is overdone by now, but THE POETIC CINEMA.

Jonas glaring at romantic rivals at end of year dances is iconic at this point.

Amira being tagteamed by an annoying little brother AND a well-meaning, embarrasing older brother. Choose your own nightmare.

I really love the set up for the Essam/Kiki/Carlos conflict. The emotional potential is SO good because on one hand you have Kiki, who wants to have a good time for once instead of parenting her own parent, then Carlos whose self-esteem is on the floor after having failed his final exam, and Essam, whose own sense of self-worth hinges upon whether white German girls find him attractive. Like, obviously Essam is never going to come between Kiki and Carlos who have been through some shit together, but with Carlos out of commission and Essam eager to please, you can see how the situation could so easily turn into a mess.

Amira and Mohammed have the most sexual tension out of any Yousana pair, period. They literally just said hi to each other and I already feel like I’m intruding gvhvhv.      

Social media

David saying of Matteo: “Er bekommt Auslauf.” (Something like, “he gets walkies” because he’s been good with revising) is the cutest shit ever.

Remember when Stefan sent Jonas a whole ass message and signed it “with sunny greetings”? Stefan was much more fun when we were supposed to find him unbearable.

Kiki creating a new Whatsapp group for every single thing is so true to life.

I’d forgotten that Amira also hated Stefan almost right away. The season that could’ve been, I tell you.

All the Abi Chaker Clan content reminds me of how I thought Jonas looked like, well, such a child, compared to Stefan, and I thought that was intentional. Like, here is Stefan with a Greenpeace job whereas Jonas doesn’t know what to do with his life, and he’s like, spray-painting abi chaker clan onto walls and posting pics to the abi chaker clan account. It’s not that I thought Jonas should’ve acted like a whole ass adult, of course he’s having fun with his high school friends, but I thought Jonas might feel inadequate in comparison to where Stefan is at this point of his life.

I can’t remember who revealed it, but Sara was supposed to end up with Toilet Sam and that was supposed to come out during the s3 finale (on that week, Sara posted a story with a guy whose face was obscured iirc). Since that was part of the clip where Hanna and Jonas also got back together, which they cut to make way for Hanna/Jonas/Stefan drama, Sara takes some other dude to the Abiball. And I think we’re supposed to think that’s the same dude she went on that date with.

[datleggy]

I’m autistic and one of the things I have trouble with is change. I’ve watched 911 since the third episode and now they have a second one? Idk. I’ve been seeing a lot of good things about it but I’m not sure if I want to watch it. Basically what I want to know is if it’s worth watching. Is it good? Are there any parallels between the new one and the Buck one? Who are the characters and what are they like? Will you start writing for this series instead of the other one? %

so, this got WAY longer than i thought it would, sorry!!! TL;DR is at the very very end!

tbh i didn’t wanna really give 911 lonestar a chance originally, i was lowkey annoyed bc it felt like they were like “oh u guys want buck and eddie, who are CLEARLY meant to be and have all this canon chemistry and relationship development to eventually get together??? lol NOPE but here’s a spinoff where u get ur white/latino gay ship :D”

which i do genuinely hope to god isn’t the case, like, i really need OG 911 to be like PSYCH here u go, some DIAZ-BUCKLEY fam. as a treat.

i did end up watching it bc curiosity and too many awesome gifsets finally got to me lol

and im only a couple of episodes in (haven’t had a chance to watch the 3rd ep bc of work and other things D: ) and so far i gotta say, i like the OG 911 calls that they get sent to more than 911 lonestars calls but again, im only 2 ep in, maybe they get more “woah thats crazy/hilarious/hearbreaking!” as the show goes on.

i honestly don’t see too many parallels between Buck and TK—the only thing i noticed where they’re pretty similar is how much they both enjoy easy physical contact. buck is very touchy feely and comfortable about showing affection/feelings and i feel like TK is the same regarding physical contact (with his dad at least)? but that’s about it.

for what it’s worth i do think the show is pretty entertaining and worth a watch!

my main reason for watching past the first episode is my enjoyment of the characters. i just think they’re all neat.

this is from a post i made when i first watched the show lol:

captain strand: good dad to all of his children

tk: hot gay messy boi

grace ryder: a fave, no nonsense beauty, judds better half

judd ryder: tragic big boi

captain blake: chaotic good w baby voice

marjan: wild feral messy gurl

mateo: if anybody’s mean to my SON im throwin hands bih

paul: again, if anybody’s mean to my SON im THROWIN hands

officer reyes: ready to dick tk down

here’s a more descriptive/longer summary of the characters if u wanna know more, if not skip down to the bolded sentence below lol:

owen strand is the captain (played by rob lowe) and to me he gives off chris traeger vibes (from parks and rec if u watched?) but with more depth. i like his character a lot, he’s a caring dad, seems like he knows what he’s doing, and like, c’mon, it’s rob lowe (i fell in love with him a million years ago when he played soda pop in the outsiders nipr;guebwuogrnofw)

tk is his son and a hot gay mess w some substance abuse issues (tho a lot has happened to him in only 2 ep i really don’t know how to feel about him entirely, bc besides stuff happening TO him, i don’t feel like he’s reacted in a way that shows much of his character?) idk maybe it’s just me. but he is a certified cutie so. lol

grace ryder, she’s smart (one of the only characters with more than ONE brain cell lmao) and gorgeous and an emergency 911 operator. she’s very supportive of her husband and what he’s going thru (which is A LOT), she herself has been thru a lot bc of the big incident at the beginning of the series and is still somehow held strong in spite of it all, she’s a personal fave of mine.

judd ryder is kind of a dick at first but i think its very understandable given the hell he’s been thru, im actually surprised at the amount that i like him. he’s very raw and vulnerable but has this “don’t worry im fine, back up” attitude that i loooove. 

captain blake is the captain for EMTs, she’s got this soft teeny baby voice that contradicts so hard with her give no fucks ima do what i need to to find my missing sister actions irwughqwgoriegjf i like. she’s caring and does goes out of  her way for the little guy.

marjan has ZERO chill but in a good way, i can already absolutely see her getting into trouble by doing some crazy impulsive thing on a call in order to rescue someone—-TBH she actually reminds me a lot of Buck from OG 911 in that way. like yea she’s reckless and impulsive but u can tell its bc she CARES and this firefighting thing is what she’s meant to do. i really like her.

mateo—-OH MAN. he’s 10000000% my favorite. it hurts me everytime he’s on screen, bc he’s such a sweet and HARD WORKING man and he deserves to be a firefighter and do what he wants/has been waiting for for so long, im so HAPPY captain strand gives him a chance. i think he might have some learning disability or maybe he grew up in a household where maybe his family was too busy or didn’t care to check up on how he was doing in school and they neglected to see how much he was struggling—this is all just pure speculation from the fact that on the show he tells captain strand during the interview that he’s always passed the physical exam to be a firefighter but keeps failing the written part :( i love my son.

paul is a trans firefighter who’s mainly known for his crazy good observational skills in the field—there’s an ep—ep 2?—that shows off his talent but like, i found it unintentional funny bc the way they did it was in a scene that honestly truly felt to me like a scene I MYSELF would write in a fanfiction if i wanted to show off a cool skill the character has but was also too lazy to make it look good???? lmaoooo im not trying to be mean but like, if u do watch it, its the 2nd ep i believe, the “office meeting” scene. other than that tho there’s only been a few scenes with paul in it (my personal fave being the skin care routine scene lol) but i look forward to more scenes of my son being a lil sherlock holmes :)

officer reyes is tk’s potential new mans. he seems like a good cop from what little ive seen of him doing police work. so, i saw a post someone made basically saying how ugly are the men in texas that officer reyes is out here thirsting over tk so HARD—and not to be rude, but he really is!!!! reyes is a goodlookin guy, so idk what’s up with that, maybe he likes messy bois? bc same.

p.s. im not sure how to feel about reyes and tk together yet bc it doesn’t really seem as if they have too much chemistry. hopefully that changes? i do kinda like that they haven’t started off their potential relationship on the best of foots, bc i love drama, an indisputable fact.

ONTO THE FINAL QUESTION!

OG 911 will always be my first love and i just don’t see this changing anytime soon. buddie will always be the #1 ship in my heart! and i have about a gazillion awesome prompts i need to work on so me switching over to 911 lonestar isn’t gonna happen. i love OG 911 way too much iuqhur4ogfoie3jwnwjinioj

tho i may occasionally—per the request of prompts i’ve gotten in the last week or so–take a couple of the characters from 911 lonestar and put them in a 911 fic as a crossover? we’ll see.

this ended up soooo long oruhibgruoeqwp i hope some of it helped tho?

tl;dt: 911 lonestar seems fun and the characters are interesting enough to keep me entertained so i say give it a chance  :)

[princess-of-the-corner]

Chloé as Ladybug AU

So I know some people have thought of this before but tbh now I’m thinking of it in a ‘what if this was taken seriously as a way for her to go through a redemption arc and grow as aperson instead of just using ‘she’s terrible and everyone hates her(especially Adrien)’ as the entire joke?’.

Anyway, onto the actual thing, starting with Origins:

Chloé somehow gets the Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette. Maybe accidentally, maybe Master Fu has some plans. IDK.

She’s super excited over the attention she would get as a Hero. Tikki warns her that she can’t reveal her identity, and she’s like ‘okay, fine, yeah that’s a superhero rule whatever.’. And since she isn’t transforming as part of her breakdown, she does stick to that.

immediately after she transforms and starts running around the city to get used to the powers/practice with the yoyo/etc.

Chloé runs into Chat Noir.

They immediately recognize eachother and are like the pointing Siderman meme

Legit though, they’re super excited to be heroes together. Bffs as Heroes! And yes, bffs, because I always headcanon them as sibling-like with Chloé faking her crush for a variety of reasons. But hey! With secret identities, you don’t have to do that!

As usual, Ivan becomes Stoneheart.

Chloé and Adrien treat it as more of a game, at first. I mean, they became Superheroes. Of course they think it’s gonna be fun. So they play it up, go ham, soak in the attention and play with the ‘personas’

They kinda realize through the fight that it might be harder than they thought. Because they are getting slammed around, and it starts to actually hurt. But they get through and win.

Then we have the later scene of ‘you remembered to purify the butterfly, right?’

Upon learning that she screwed up, Chloé snaps at Tikki. Telling her ‘how the hell was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me? I’ve never done this before!’.

Logically, she knows that Tikki just forgot. But she feels like it was a set up for failure. And despite her ‘omg I’m the best’ persona she puts up, she is kind of scared that she’s not enough. That she’s never enough. And this brings that up.

As much as she tries to pretend , she kinda knows that she’s terrible and honestly doesn’t deserve to be a hero. And this just proves it. So she Rejects the Miraculous and Tikki disappears back into the earrings.

At school they’re all discussing the whole Stoneheart thing and Chloé kinda tries to help by saying ‘well, just don’t piss him off and he won’t go all giant monster again’. That doesn’t come out as intended.

Ivan becomes Stoneheart again, but this time Chloé manages to get out before she’s grabbed/

At first, she doesn’t join the fight. Why bother when she’ll screw it up again?

But she sees Chat Noir out there still trying(and kinda failing.) And she can’t leave him on his own.

When she puts the earrings on and Tikki comes back out, the Kwami apologizes for not telling her about the butterfly. And this… catches Chloé off guard. Because people never apologize sincerely to her.

A lot of times people refuse to apologize to her. More often than not, they are forced to apologize because she’s the Mayor’s Daughter and could ruin them if they didn’t. Sometimes, with her parents, it’s a brushed off apology. A ‘sorry not sorry’, ‘sorry you got upset by my totally justified actions’.

So to have Tikki genuinely apologize, it confuses her. Especially when Tikki acknowledges that Chloé might not be the best person, but she doesn’t have to be perfect. Still, she hopes she can be better, knows she can if she tries again.

Chloé goes to fight as Ladybug again, and this time, her version of the speech to Hawkmoth is basically ‘I might not be the perfect choice for this job, but by fuck I’m going to do it! I will never back down or give in to you!’.

Next day at school, when Chloé goes to sit down, she finds Marinette back in her seat. When she tells her to move, Marinette stands up to her, saying ‘maybe I’m not perfect like you think you are, but I’m not backing down or giving in to you anymore.’.

This has gone full roleswap. Marinette sees Ladybug as a hero and inspiration, and uses that as the courage to stand up for herself.

This, honestly, confuses the hell out of Chloé so much that she actually backs down for a minute.

There are two things that stop Chloé from retaliating immediately.

The first is what Tikki said, about believing she can be better. Part of her thinks ‘whatever. I know I’m terrible. I’ve resigned myself to that. And even if I try no one will believe or accept it’. But… Tikki is an ancient magical creature, the Kwami of Creation. She might be right.

The second thing, is when Adrien saw Marinette stand up to Chloé, he was immediately like ‘heart eyes motherfucker!’.

So, Adrien has a crush on Marinette. Though she hates him because of Chloé’s earlier gum prank. So Chloé decides to confront Marinette.

Mari is expecting a fight and absolutely squares up. But Chloé is just like ‘hey I wanna talk about the gum prank’.

Mari’s like ‘Are you… are you apologizing?. Chloé’s just like ‘oh god no that’d be ridiculous. I just wanted to tell you that Adrien isn’t a part of it.’.

She explains that while she is absolutely a terrible person and knows it, Adrien is sweet af and innocent in that.

While Mari is hesitant and thinks this might be Chloé setting her up, she does give Adrien a chance. Especially after he apologizes and she asks other students about the gum prank.

Marinette doesn’t develop her crush on Adrien. But they do become friends.

Chloé also stops pretending to have a crush on Adrien because he likes Mari, and while Chloé would never admit it, Mari is probably the one person who might be good enough for him now that she has confidence. So she actively encourages him to go for it.

In between episodes, Chloé invites Adrien over and he gets to meet Tikki, while Chloé gets to meet Plagg!

At first Tikki’s like ‘you arent’ supposed to tell anyone about the hero stuff!’, but they explain that they recognized each other immediately so, you know. It didn’t matter.

The Kwami allow it if only because it was accidental but they are happy that they can see each other whenever this time around!

Chloé gets along with Plagg very well, and Adrien gets along with Tikki just as easily. They jokingly are like ‘maybe we should switch’.

So, like, before we go on I want to talk about Chloé’s ‘Hero Persona’. Much like Adrien as Chat Noir, Chloé uses Ladybug to be different from herself. She plays into the Hero Persona bit, trying to be nice and encouraging as a Hero should be. Which is strange to her, but kind of fun.

It doesn’t always work because she isn’t used to it, and sometimes the snark comes out or her temper gets the better of her, or it turns into my ‘how valid is your reason for akumatization’ post. But honestly? The way people love her and look up to her as Ladybug is good. Almost addicting in a way. It’s not only attention but good attention of people loving her for things she does instead of hating her or pretending to love her for money/status.

This does eventually start leaking into her Civillian life, especially with encouragement from Adrien and Tikki. And Plagg, I guess. He’s a bit more like ‘eh, whatever, be salty kid.’

Okay, so, as for other episodes. Some would stay the same with the only thing that changes being it’s Chloé doing the fighting instead of Marinette, but others go very differently. So I’ll go through them.

Stormy Weather

Mostly no changes. There might be the fact that, since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she doesn’t go to his photoshoot and therefore she, Alya, and Manon don’t get caught in Stormy Weather’s attack. But that wasn’t too important.

The Bubbler

Both Adrien and Chloé put off hero duties to enjoy the party at first. However, once they find out that parents are getting sent to space they jump into action.

Since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she didn’t panic and forget to sign the present. She instead gives it to Adrien in-person, and Nathalie has to run out and buy something else to give Adrien.

The Pharaoh

Not much changes here, except it’s Chloé and Adrien going to the Egypt Exhibit instead of Marinette and Alya. Well, who knows. Those two might’ve shown up too. It’s a neat Exhibit.

Chloé wouldn’t have dropped her history book. I’m still not sure what the fuck was up with that in the show in the first place. Ladybug doesn’t have pockets! Well, actually, this version might…. Remind me to design Chloé’s Ladybug outfit sometime. Either way!! No textbook!!

Lady Wifi

Of course Alya still starts up the Ladyblog. But I had a few ideas of how this could go.

Option A is to continue the role reversal and have Alya think that Marinette is Ladybug. The problem here is that if Alya snoops through Mari’s stuff, Mari wouldn’t freak out and try to have Alya expelled.

Option B is to still have Alya on the right track with Chloé being Ladybug, and does the ‘snoop in her locker’ thing. Naturally Chloé panics and insists Alya be expelled for that. (Side note: I still insist that Chloé was entirely justified in her reaction to someone rooting around in her locker). Problem here is ‘how does Chloé get out of this one?’

Timebreaker

This goes pretty much the same. Four teenagers don’t have enough collective brainpower to think ‘a pocket watch goes in a pocket’, and Chloé comes in with the Crow Brain to look at the shiny thing. Watch gets dropped and broken, Akuma time.

There is the issue of Marinette being unable to use time travel to fix her issue of needing to be in two places at once, but either she hides from Timebreaker by going home and taking care of the problem, or Chloé(having softened up a bit and is being nice) gives a half-truth to cover for her, saying ‘oh, sorry, she was caught up in some Akuma business and couldn’t be here!’.

Mr. Pigeon

I still don’t understand what the fuck is up with this.

The Akuma part of the story is still the same, but the hat contest is probably different due to the shift in dynamics. Chloé is trying to be nicer and even if she tried to copy Marinette’s hat design, Tikki would talk her out of it.

Although, Adrien probably is really encouraging for Marinette because of his crush, and he really wants her to win.

Chloé actually does something nice, after noticing that Mari took inspiration from the Akuma of the day and added feathers. She goes up and warns her, ‘hey, Adrien’s going to be wearing the hat and he’s allergic to feathers you should use fake feathers’. Mari is a little suspicious because while Chloé’s been better lately she’s still Chloé. But since it was something simple like that and not an act of sabotage, she takes the advice.

Evillustrator

So, while Nath is still Akumatized due to his teacher being a bitch, the ‘Chloé teasing him’ goes a little different.

When she sees his sketchbook, her comment is to Adrien of ‘looks like you have some competition!’, cluing Nath into the fact that Adrien also has a crush on Marinette, and immediately bringing up some insecurities because, you know, Adrien is a literal model.

When he’s Akumatized, instead of going after Chloé for her teasing, he goes after Adrien for being a romantic rival.

However, once Ladybug and Chat Noir are on the scene, he can’t find Adrien or Chloé, so he heads over to Marinette’s house.

While that was happening, we still have the issue with Marinette trying to convince Sabrina that Chloé is a bad friend. Since Mari wasn’t interrupted by Ladybug stuff, Sabrina was actually with her and both are being held hostage by Evillustrator.

Chloé lures Evillustrator away while Chat Noir stays behind to protect the girls. It doesn’t entirely work, but Marinette offers to be ‘bait’. Both heroes are opposed to it, but she points out that Evillustrator will come back eventually.

Chat Noir goes out of his way to protect Marinette and is just overly sweet and maybe shows off a little bit and oh no now she has a crush on him. Chloé finds out about this and is fucking cackling because Adrien likes Marinette and she returns the feelings but she doesn’t know that!

After all of this, Chloé does realize that Marinette is right about the whole Sabrina situation. And as part of her ‘being better’ thing, apologizes and resolves to be a better friend. Sabrina is easily won over by just the apology, but Chloé is legit trying.

Rogercop

not sure how this would pan out tbh. The whole thing was kickstarted because Plagg stole Chloé’s bracelet thinking it was cheese. But in this AU, Adrien would be able to tell Chloé what happened because she knows about Plagg, and even if he couldn’t Chloé has Tikki in her purse so Tikki would tell her(if she didn’t already stop Plagg from being an idiot). And even if she didn’t know, Chloé wouldn’t let her bag be searched because of Tikki

Legit though this is probably the one I’m stuck on

Copycat

This wouldn’t be exactly the same. Assuming the same thing happened of Théo having a crush on this Ladybug, Chat wouldn’t be jealous of this crush since he likes Marinette, not Chloé. Maybe this one is either Chat tries to let the guy down gently that Chloé won’t like him back, but accidentally implies that he’s dating Ladybug?

Mari’s subplot wouldn’t be the same since she doesn’t have a crush on Adrien and wouldn’t leave an embarrassing voicemail.

Wait, maybe the tables are turned and in this AU Théo has a crush on Chat Noir, and Chloé is the one who pulls the ‘he is already in love with someone else’, accidentally implying it’s her. Meanwhile Chat is missing because Adrien is attempting to ask Marinette out on a date.

Dark Cupid

This is mostly the same. Kim confesses to Chloé and is rejected. She’d be less harsh in this AU, but she still rejected him so you know.

Dark Cupid does effect Friendship, so when Chat gets hit it turns against Chloé’s friendship. He honestly probably says some very harsh stuff about Chloé’s history as a bully. She pushes that aside for later.

I’m thinking that Chloé knows she needs Chat back, and decides to go the ‘true love’s kiss’ route. Which means Marinette. Who just so happened to be trying to figure out a way to get a valentine to Chat Noir.

After everything’s back to normal, Adrien apologizes for the stuff he said while under Dark Cupid’s spell. Chloé says he doesn’t have to, because he was right. While she’d been kinda edging toward being nicer, this is where it really hits her that she should try in her civilian life instead of just as Ladybug.

Horrificator

Goes mostly the same. Mylene is scared and gets Akumatized over it. Chloé is trying to help by pointing out ‘why are you in a monster movie if you’re going to get this scared by what you know is coming??’, but it comes out bad. Chloé does get a chance to apologize by the end.

She also isn’t helping by trying to set up Mari and Adrien for the kiss scene. Which confuses everyone because while they noticed that Chloé wasn’t all over Adrien they still think she’s ‘hopelessly in love with him’ and have no clue why she’s doing that

Darkblade

Mostly the same for the Akuma plot.

Chloé decides to not blackmail anyone since it’s part of being nicer. I’m debating about having her decide to give up being class representative since being Ladybug is cutting into her free time enough, but considering her stubornness and the fact that she might feel pressured into the role by her dad, she might still run but ultimately lose to Marinette who wins since there was no blackmail to hold her back.

The Mime

The Akuma plot is the same. The side plot might be tweaked in that, since Marinette can’t recreate the footage herself, she tracks down Chloé and asks for her to recreate the interview she accidentally deleted.

Kung Food

Since Chloé is actively being nicer by this point, she wouldn’t sabotage the soup. I mean, I guess maybe this could be the point where Marinette says something to piss her off and Chloé slips back into her old ways for a bit, but regrets it as soon as she realizes what she really did and that this goes further than just petty revenge on someone who insulted her.

Gamer

Possibly different. Marinette wouldn’t have a reason to enter the gaming competition, therefore Max wouldn’t lose and be Akumatized.

Maybe Marinette ends up entering anyway. Or maybe Adrien suggests that Chloé try competing too since she’s definitely good at video games. (TELL ME I’M WRONG. Adrien only had her as a friend for most of his life! How would he get good at a multiplayer game if he didn’t have someone to play against?!)

Animan

Again, the Akuma is the same but the B plot is different! Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette, and everyone besides Marinette knows it because the boy is not subtle, I��m thinking something different.

Option A is that Nino has a crush on Alya and Adrien and Marinette try to set them up

Option B is that Nino, Alya, and Chloé try to set up a date for Adrien and Marinette. Nino and Alya are very confused about what’s up with Chloé but, well, you know how it goes.

Either way Chloé absolutely goes off on the Akuma of the day. “You were Akumatized because some dumbass doesn’t understand panthers??? What the fuck my man???”

Vanisher

I know Vanisher didn’t get her own episode but that was unfair as FUCK and this would fix it!

Since Chloé is actually Ladybug, she doesn’t dress up and pretend to be Ladybug. Therefore, the original fight can’t happen.

Instead, Chloé and Sabrina fight because Chloé keeps disappearing to be Ladybug. She runs off, she spends time with other people now, and she doesn’t answers Sabrina’s late night texts anymore because Chloé doesn’t have her phone on her when she’s out on patrols.  

Even though Chloé promised to be a better friend, she’s technically been worse and is making Sabrina feel invisible.

After De-Akumatizing her, Chloé and Sabrina have a long talk, and try to schedule things out. She can’t tell her about being Ladybug, but she absolutely tries to make sure they hang out more.

Anitibug

Obviously Chloé wouldn’t get Aumatized here. However, Marinette absolutely can!

It still has something to do with Ladybug though. I was thinking maybe Chloé as Ladybug would snap at her like a reverse of what happened in the show. But you know what would be better?

Marinette finds out that Chloé is Ladybug. Think about it. The girl that bullied her for years and the girl who gave her the confidence to stand up to said bully are the same person. It not only breaks her mind, but she spirals thinking about every interaction she had with Ladybug, over analyzing every little comment and turning it into some kind of insult.

Also, her whole thing with Chat Noir? Absolutely comes into play. Marinette has him tied up and does the whole ‘hey, look, your Ladybug is actually pretty terrible. How about you get with me instead?’. Chat’s like ‘Okay I like you but this is not how I wanted this to go down!!’.

Eventually she is de-akumatized, but it’s their hardest fight yet. Chloé tries to talk to Marinette, but she doesn’t want to hear it. But Chat and Tikki are there to make her (Mari also freaks out at Tikki, but that’s explained quickly).

Chloé is like ‘look, I’ve been terrible. I am terrible. Even if I’m trying to be better, I know that. But everything I said or did as Ladybug was true. And even if it wasn’t, it meant something to you. You stood up to me and my terrible self because of that. So even if it’s me behind the mask, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re kind of amazing. Also if you tell anyone I said that I will tie you to the top of the Eiffel Tower I swear to fuck.”

This kind of really gets through to Mari that she’s trying to be better. And she looks back and sees that a lot of Chloé’s weird behavior was her either being nice or trying and failing to be nice. This starts up a tentative friendship.

Chat’s kind of like ‘Hey since she knows who you are shouldn’t she know who I am?’, but Tikki says no and bans him from telling her. Adrien is screaming because this would fix all of his romance problems real quick but no he still has to try and win Marinette over as Adrien. Goddamn it.

Puppeteer

Probably goes about the same since none of the Mari/Chloé/Adrien things caused this.

However, Chloé goes off on Nadja for the toy incident. You are given a toy to borrow for the weekend, but forbid it because ‘your kid has too many toys’? What the fuck lady? It’d be one thing if your kid was begging to buy an expensive toy but this is a free gift she’d return after like a week!

Relfekta

since Chloé isn’t being mean, this probably happens differently. Maybe it’s a ‘slipping back into her old habits’ thing while trying to help get Mari next to Adrien, but she probably didn’t go as far. It was just Juleka’s curse that happened.

Guitar Villain

Happens the same, really. Can’t go wrong with a pet dragon.

Pixelator

Pretty much the same, except Adrien and Marinette get trapped together and Adrien is still dying inside because he can’t just transform to get them out because Tikki will kill him. (He does not want to anger the tiny god thing!)

Princess Fragrance

Instead of being a bitch, Chloé brushes off Rose’s request of delivering a letter to Prince Ali because she’s concerned about Tikki being sick.

Simon Says

Pretty much the same, except for two changes:

First, when Adrien snaps at his dad, Chloé’s like ‘nah he deserves it! Fuckin go off since you can without repercussions!’.

Secondly, when Chloé finds out why the guy got Akumatized, she points out it’s the fault of the showrunners for deciding ‘we’re going to call a person at random and if they refuse to participate you fail automatically bye bitch!’. Which gets the Akuma to be like ‘wait, you’re right. Hold that thought.’

Volpina

Hoo boy! This is fun!

So, Chloé actually pays no attention to Lila. She knows Lila’s lying, but she doesn’t care. It ain’t hurting her, and she’ll be found out soon enough. If she does try something, then she can easily give an interview as Ladybug to disprove her claim of friendship. (She wants to do it anyway because she’s salty but she refrains.)

Marinette picks up on Lila’s lies about knowing Ladybug, since she knows Chloé is Ladybug and Chloé doesn’t know Lila at all. She still does her thing of following Lila.

Adrien still finds the Book of Miraculous Bullshittery, and he tells Chloé to meet him in the library to discuss it. They start up, but are interrupted by Lila. The three look at the book, but Chloé takes it with her at the end of the conversation.

Lila still saw enough of the book to buy a fake Miraculous for later. Marinette still following her of course.

However, at the park scene, it’s Adrien who calls Lila out on her lies(Mari wants to, but she can’t prove anything since she isn’t Ladybug). Adrien’s obviously nicer, but he’s still like ‘I know you’re lying about knowing Ladybug and being a Hero, but why?’.

This pisses Lila off because she ruined her chances with him. She becomes Volpina of course.

Adrien and Chloé obviously put together that this is an Akuma and not another hero. When Adrien explains what happened, Chloé gets very upset that this girl tried to manipulate her best friend like that.

After defeating her, Chloé tentatively offers to give Lila another chance, since Adrien talked her into it. But Lila’s like ‘fuck you!’.

Christmas Special

So, like, since Chloé knows that Adrien’s Chat Noir, and knows he’s fine after he disappears, she doesn’t show up to kick santa’s ass. So something else probably happens.

So, I kinda stopped properly watching episodes after Season 1, but I know what happens and such to the point where I’ll talk on them. Not every episode, but ones where I know something would change.  

The Collector

Chloé goes to meet Master Fu, and she takes Adrien with her. There is a lot of mixed feelings over suggesting that Gabriel could be Hawkmoth that get discussed right then and there.

While Master Fu thinks Gabriel can’t be Hawkmoth since he was Akumatized, Chloé says they can’t rule him out. She knows manipulation tactics. And Gabriel becoming an Akuma right at the moment when they were investigating him? It’s suspicious. She lets it go for now, but she doesn’t rule him out. Adrien honestly agrees.

Despair Bear

Sine Chloé is already being nicer, there is no need to threaten her with the bear. And she wouldn’t be upset at Mari and Adrien dancing together. Not sure how/why the butler would be Akumatized. Maybe the butler doesn’t know shes being nicer and is trying to do this to help, but misunderstands her excitement over the dance as jealous anger?  Idk

Prime Queen

Since Chloé and Adrien are 110% platonic, when Nadja asks about the ‘supposed romantic relationship’, they laugh for a good two minutes before going ‘wait you’re serious??’. They explain that they’re not in a romance, they’re just good friends who trust the fuck out of each other

Riposte

Since Marinette isn’t joining the fencing club to impress Adrien, we have to do something different. Maybe she tries to join for other reasons. Either Adrien asks as a way to spend more time with her, or she joins because now that she knows about Chloé being Ladybug, she wants to help fight.

Gigantitan

Instead of everyone trying to get Mari to ask out Adrien, they’re trying to get Adrien to ask out Marinette.

Dark Owl

Chloé and Adrien already know each other’s identities, so this isn’t an ‘almost reveal’.

Glaciator

Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette and not Ladybug, he wouldn’t miss the ice cream date. The guy might get Akumatized when Marinette is disappointed that her ice cream isn’t Chat Noir flavored. (Okay, I wrote that at like 4 am and now that I’m coming back to it I am concerned at my wording.)

Sapotis

While Chloé is working on being friendly to all classmates, and Adrien is already close to Alya, she wouldn’t be their first choice for another Miraculous.

Instead, they give the Fox to Marinette. Not only does she already know about Chloé, but both of our heroes agree that Mari is Hero Material.(She really is. Even in this ‘she never got a Miraculous the first time AU, she still is!).

Chloé refuses to take the Fox away from Marinette. After all, it’s not fair that the Ladybug and Cat are out all the time. Not to mention that Mari can’t get any good practice in without the Miraculous. That and they don’t want to separate Mari and Trixx.

Also, Trixx teases the hell out of Tikki for having her Chosen be the first to screw up the secret identity thing.

Zombizou

As Chloé is nice here, neither Marinette nor Miss Bustier are in danger of being Akumatized because of her.

However, I have ideas for Miss Bustier’s Akumatization based off what was going to happen in my old fic The One Where Chloé Knows. I plan to continue that eventually, so skip this if you don’t want spoilers.

Basically, Miss Bustier is in some trouble with the school since most of the Akumas have come out of her class. She just wants to do her job and keep her students safe.

Syren

instead of being upset at Ladybug keeping secrets, since Chloé doesn’t do that, Adrien gets frustrated that he can’t tell Marinette who he is. Other than that this episode is pretty much the same.

Frightengale

instead of ruining Clara’s music video out of petty jealousy, Chloé does it to try and help protect Chat Noir’s secret identity. It backfires, of course, doubly so because she can’t tell Marinette why, but everything works out in the end.

Troublemaker

Mari doesn’t have a photo wall of Adrien. Maybe she has a wall of Chat Noir, but probably not since there aren’t as many printed pictures of him to collect.

Anansi

I’m debating on whether or not to do something with the Turtle Miraculous.

Option A is to keep it as is, giving it to Nino. This would be Adrien’s decision since he knows Nino best.

Option B, is to have Chloé give it to Sabrina, especially since she still feels guilty for not spending as much time with her.

I’m debating about it because while Option B makes some sense, Sabrina isn’t really Hero Material. Not yet at least. But Nino is.

Frozer

Marinette starts to get over her crush on Chat Noir, convincing herself it was just a ‘hero crush’ type thing. She decides to try a date with Luka. Adrien, believing he’s lost his love to him, tries going out with Kagami. Both end up wishing they were with each other instead.

Style Queen

Since Chloé is already Ladybug, she can’t be the Bee. She gives the Bee to someone else. Possibly Alya, to keep the original Quintet intact. But maybe someone else.

Instead of turning into a superhero out of jealous rage, Chloé snaps at her mother and nearly gets Akumatized before Adrien and Marinette manage to calm her down. This does get through to her mother, who realizes how much she’s been fucking up by being absent.  

Malediktator

Since Chloé is being a better person she would have no reason to leave Paris. I think her dad would probably get Akumatized due to Chloé’s near-breakdown in the previous episode, realizing how much he fucked up in raising her too.

Heroes’ Day

I wanted to say something would be different, but other than Marinette being re-akumatised instead of Chloé, not really. I guess the ‘good deeds’ speech would be different.

Backwarder

Since Marinette isn’t trying to deliver a love letter to Adrien, and likely isn’t the one doing any deliveries at all, the letters don’t get mixed up. Not sure how this would go down instead.

Weredad

A few things are different. Firstly, Mari wouldn’t have a secret identity to hide since Chat Noir knows she’s the Fox.(I guess I could go back and say oh, no, only Chloé knows, but not only was it a group decision to give her the Fox, but Chloé wouldn’t put them in a love square so help her!)

Marinette also does actually have a crush on Chat Noir in this AU, so it wouldn’t be a panic-fueled lie.

Even if Mari confessed to liking Chat Noir to distract him, Chat would be delighted instead of saying ‘I’m in love with someone else’. However, he might say ‘sorry, as much as I do return your affections, we can’t be together right now due to the secret identity’

Chameleon

When Lila tries to manipulate the class into loving her, Chloé calls her out on it. At first people think it’s Chloé going back to her old ways and/or trying to shift the hatred to the new girl.

Then Marinette chimes in with the stuff she eavesdropped on back in Volpina, and Adrien hesitantly backs up the claims that Lila did try to lie to get him to date her.

Everyone agrees that Lila might’ve lied about that, but there’s a chance she’s not lying about other things. Still, they now take what she says with a grain of salt.

Lila confronts Chloé in the bathrooms this time, telling her the usual ‘stay out of my way or I’ll ruin you’. Chloé tells her ‘go ahead and try. They already hate me. I have nothing to lose!’.

Chloé has a minor breakdown after Lila leaves though. Because while she said she has nothing to lose, she kind of does. Because people are starting to genuinely like her now that she’s being nice. And if Lila ruins that…. Well, Chloé almost gets Akumatized over it, but she pulls together knowing that Adrien and Marinette would never believe Lila.

Lila then becomes Chameleon and causes chaos though. Lila still has a hatred of Ladybug, but she also hates Chloé and Marinette as much. Only reason she doesn’t hate Adrien is because if she can get him, then it will be a big fuck you to Chloé and Marinette.

Animaestro

Since Marinette and Chloé aren’t fighting over Adrien, they don’t have a problem.

Bakerix

There’s mostly no change except for the fact that Chloé puts together that this might not be about bread recipes….

Oblivio

Since it’s Chloé and Adrien getting memory wiped, their assumptions are different. I could go for comedy and say they also assume they are a couple and get grossed out later when they regain their memories, but I think they assume they’re siblings since they obviously trust each other but don’t have a romantic spark.

Stormy Weather 2

Chloé’s not a jerk anymore, so she wouldn’t be picking on Aurore. Idk what happens I’m tired it’s fuckin 5 am as I’m typing this now.

Onichan

I doubt that Adrien would be allowed to be alone near Lila after what happened in Chameleon. While Chloé and Marinette would be willing to give her a chance at redemption, Lila has shown no sign of doing so and would not trust her until she does.

Adrien might end up forced by something else to spend time with Lila. Or maybe he’s just too nice for his own damn good.

However, he gets very cold when Lila pulls the kiss picture, and decides ‘no. No way. You want another chance you gotta go through someone else first’.

Miraculer

Since Chloé is the Bee, and none of the other Heroes identities are known, and they get to keep their Miraculous 24/7, this doesn’t really happen.

I feel like this could be a time to change the entire episode plot. Say, for example, Chloé finally gives in to her insecurities and fears over being never enough and gets Akumatized. She manages to take off the Miraculous first, and Tikki zips off to find one of the other heroes to be Ladybug for the day. She absolutely chooses Marinette for the cookies.

Timetagger

FUCK IT I’M GIVING ALIX THE SNAKE INSTEAD OF THE RABBIT FUCK YOU SHE HAS SNAKE DESIGNS ON HER SLEEVES GODDAMNIT.

Sorry it’s 5 am and I’m salty. But seriously.

I don’t think Gamer 2.0 would change, and that’s the most recent episode as of typing this so fuck it this is going right into the void tomorrow and then I can go back to working on fuckin fullmetal alchemist and all that other gay shit.

[coralstudiies]

How do you stay organized and manage time? I love your blog! ☀️

thanks hon :D

hngh ok i honestly organise my schedule through my phone, be it the calender app or this app called Pendo (check it out i think its pretty good). i dont keep a bullet journal because honestly i'd want it to look nice and i dont have time for that!

as for my school stuff like worksheets, tests etc., i organise them in two big 'zip folders'(idk what they're called just google them and add 'school' at the back). one's for math and science, the others for humanities and languages, you get the drift! and for each subject, i clip everything together with a big binder clip. this is because i like to have everything together, and i like my levels of organisation to progress from big to small scale. also the zip folder prevents the papers from becoming dog-eared which sucks imo.

apart from that, i have a binder where i keep some of my own notes and some writing paper which i carry around. this is so that i can study on the go and the notes are usually on recently-learnt topics!

as for my textbooks, i basically just chuck them in the shelf beside my table. this time, because my math textbooks and science textbooks are too thick to fit into one section together, i use one section for math, one for science and one for humanities. we dont really have language textbooks, but whatever relevant materials are slotted in the humanities section. above that, i keep all my past year papers and revision handbooks because i can easily grab them and refer to them if i'm doing timed practice on my own. it's neat and convenient so i don't worry about being too lazy to put it back into place:")

for stationery i just put my pens and highlighters in one jar and my brushpens and fineliners in the other. i have another pencilholder for refills and stuff as well as scissors, rulers etc.

as for managing time, im gonna go back to my phone calender and the Pendo app to schedule my week, month etc. whenever i get notified of an event, say a test, i immediately record it down. i also record the time school ends on that day, and i also plan out dinnertime, breaks, exercise time, homework etc. the remaining time is left for revision. the reason why homework and revision aren't grouped together is because (imo) doing homework isnt the same as revising. i've seen many students who group them together, spend too much time on homework and forget to revise. so that's a pitfall to look out for!

Then within those windows of time, i try to either a. review the day's learning or b. review older content. it's tiring and fricking draining but yknow just do it. i'd rather power through a shit ton of assignments and take a power nap the next day than trudge through my homework pile and end up drained.

another tip is to optimise the time you have during weekends. for me i have piano lessons on saturday morning and training on saturday and sunday night. so i have limited time compared to many people (especially because of the commute) but i really plan ahead during the weekdays. if i know i'm getting rusty at math i set aside maybe 1.5h to practice and review. if i have a geography test coming up i mug for maybe 3-4 hours (because my geog tests are content heavy)

Which brings me to another point, really know your weaknesses so you spend more time on them. dont spend the weekend studying your strongest subjects because you're only as strong as your weakest chain i.e. the subject you really suck at. it's about harnessing whatever limited time you have and making the most out of it to really pull your OVERALL grades up. and it's about being CONSISTENT no matter how dry and arduous it gets. many people fail to manage time because its tiring so they give up. time management is like momentum; if you dont start now it'll be hard to start later especially if your schedule is screwed.

Lastly i'd like to point out that both of these skills are muscles i.e. they need to be practised in order for you to master them. the more you organise, the better you get at organisation. same goes for time management!

hope that helped!

[simplicitys-bliss]

it’s kinda funny

depression i mean.

*heres a disclaimer before you continue to read this if you chose to: this post is kinda sad. Like, not really, but it’s h e l l a personal, and if you don’t feel like reading about any of that, or seeing how my thought process is all over the place when I talk about stuff like this, id just stop reading now. Go back to looking at memes, asthetically pleasing pictures of fashion/places/food, dogs, and porn bc you won’t enjoy this*

So back to depression; to me, it’s like one minute I’m super happy, I’m ready to take on the world, and ready to do great things, but the next I feel as if im drowning..or rather, i can’t breath.

You see, i haven’t felt genuine happiness in a long fucking time, and it fucking sucks. I have however felt euphoria, and that was neat. Euphoria in a moment, in a person, in a time.

In a moment, it was when I was accepted into college. It’s crazy to think the number one thing that causes my anxiety and my fears of failing in life were once the source of complete and udder euphoria. It was as if in that moment, wow man all my hard work over the four years that was high school actually meant something. That it was actually worth it. And that to me caused this sense of self acceptance that I have yet to feel from a specific moment in time again. Maybe one day something will happen to cause it, but nothing has really matched the feeling of making it into my top school after convincing myself that I wasn’t good enough.

In a person, oh man. Have you ever met someone equally matched with you? Ya know, someone who matches you on most everything; humor, sarcasm, love. It’s fucking great. And idk. I felt like I had found that. To quote Marroon 5’s Sunday Morning: “livin life gets hard, Sunday morning raining is falling and im callin to you...” blah blah blah. What I’m trying to get at is yes I have found utter euphoria in someone so bad I think of cheesy 2000s love songs. that’s pathetic. What’s pathetic is it’s not the same on both ends, at least not anymore. I have not met one person like this, and it really really sucks that shit like circumstances and time and place have put a road block in an otherwise blissful highway of love. again, its corny as fuck. and pathetic.

In a time? Shit last year. I would give anything to go back to this time last year. Timehop has a funny way of drudging up things from the past you forget about after the moment passes and it doesn’t come out of your long term memory until a day when you’re really low and you see that at this same moment you were once in cloud nine. This time last year was that, and again I would give anything to go back. Another time that I wish I could go to would have to be the beginning of this summer. I will never ever forget this summer, except for the beginning of it. When everything was just starting to come together. I didn’t even realize in that moment that I had set myself up to feel completely in sync with people I would’ve never guessed myself to be friends with.

I guess you could say I have a lot to be happy for. But the thing about depression is that it all becomes like a giant blind spot. Depression takes the front seat and puts my emotions in drive, while happiness and reasons to live and reasons to feel like I actually matter become a blind spot in the road.

Like school. Holy fucking shit school makes me want to die, like real life death. I feel out of place, I feel overwhelmed, and I feel alone. But at the same time, I’ve never had a group of peers like my a capella group. And if I dropped out, they would definitely be missed. But the problem I’m coming to is that they seem to be the only reason I’m still here. And i feel like that’s not a good thing. NOTA is my happiness blind spot and I wish they were my main view.

And then there’s this whole lonely business. What the fuck is up with this. I used to consider myself pretty self dependent, but holy shit i find myself wanting love and assurance and acceptance so bad all of the time and it sucks. I have my good days where I appreciate the solo lifestyle, like not having anything to owe to anybody, or being able to do whatever I want like being away from my phone for hours and no one yelling at me for it. But okay, the other night I went to a party with my a capella group, and went back to my friend Jerry’s house with my other friend Haley. I was drunkish, but Jerry was blacked and I didn’t trust him alone so I stayed till he fell asleep. I got on a bus around 2:30ish and I was alone. Then this couple came on the bus along with two other loud drunk men all staggering from Pickles(a downtown bar). I kept looking at this couple, and even these two guys, and kept thinking about how nice it’d be to have someone to check in with when I leave alone on nights like these. Or when I’m at work(I work at a restaurant as a Host/busser) and I sit old couples. Not even really old, but old enough so that you know they’re at least 10+ years into a relationship. I find myself thinking “damn being marrieds gonna be so neat what the fuck. having someone to eat fake Italian food and bool with? someone who I’m completely comfortable with who accepts me for me? fuck that’s nice.” And idk. I guess that’s just because I came out of a relationship with I though was it for me; the kind where you never saw there being a time without them but now you’re alone watching Betty and Kevin eat arugula salads talk about their mortgage and looking for happiness in people who could care less about your feelings and your well being. sad.

I’m drowning in loneliness and sadness and putting my happiness in my blind spot, and it’s no bueno. I can’t breathe. It’s like if depression is a pool, I took a cannon ball into that bitch. Happiness is the air right about level the water line, the light you can see when you’re underwater and your ascending up, but for me my light is just glass. Like I’m in a tank and there’s light everywhere, but I can’t get to it.

Does this make sense? Am I reaching anyone? Does this hit familiar to anyone, or am I alone on this. Iunno. But then again, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters lol.