#idk i havent made it yet :V

[bsotted]

ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲

*edit: sorry i accidentally named like every character ever in the tags so ppl are Seeing this post who dont have the benefit of so much as a single crumb of context. if i accidentally namedropped ur blorbo its bc of this post:

anyway. i was excited for recs bc i also enjoy this genre of fictional character. unfortunately as above the niche is niched, it turns out. at least for me, content enjoyer georg, who has apparently already seen or read everything anyone else has already seen or read except for a small handful of specific media properties that i do not wish to see or read for various personal reasons and also not literally everything ever... just the same things as everyone else has already seen and read... u get the idea. ok thnks 👍🏻

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[britneyshakespeare]

i cannot stop thinking about henry vi part 2

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[eatsless]

at party numero dos, which is on saturday, ill be meeting the guy ive been talking to for weeks now lol hopefully he's as nice of a guy as he seems. we're surprising each other with our xmas sweaters (in my case a cute xmas tree dress 🤫) and with baked goods ❤️

[usertoxicyaoi]

also! a very good desi gl movie that hit the bollywood mainstream that i would reeeeally rec is ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga (2019) available on netflix!

The Absence of India in Discussions on Queer Asian Media

So, yesterday @lurkingshan tagged me in an ask she got from @impala124 about the absence of India when we're talking about queer Asian media. I was intially just going to reblog it with my thought, but as it kept growing I figured it'd be best to just make my own post. Please read the ask linked above first so this makes sense.

*cracks knuckles* this is going to be the most fun I've had writing a post in ages. (For a little background, I'm a queer Indian, born and raised)

So, this is a very interesting question on a subject I've been rotating in my head for the past several months. There's a lot of different variables that contribute to the noticeable lack of discussion on Indian and South Asian queer media in general, so I'm just going to talk through the ones I've noticed a little randomly.

Talking about Asian media in general, it's well known that the mass popularity of kpop and anime has contributed massively to the increase in popularity of Asian media. If you've been in the Asian media fandom for any amount of time at all, you'll have noticed that media from Korea, Japan, and China gets by far the most attention from international audiences; all East Asian countries. There may be several reasons for this, but in particular, it's no secret that the fetishization of East Asians is a massive proponent in the popularity of media from these countries, while there's no such interest in South Asians. If we shift our focus to queer media specifically, media from these three countries is still extremely popular, with the addition of Thailand and the Philippines to some extent; both South East Asian countries. From what I've seen, there's very little international interest in media from South Asian countries (although, if we're talking about India specifically, I can't exactly say anything. Bollywood has not been good lately). If we talk about queer South Asian media, the scope of interest falls even further. If you'll notice, MyDramaList, one of the most commonly used websites for finding and tracking Asian shows only allows for East and South-East Asian shows. So, that's one reason—there's just not much international interest in Indian media in general. As Shan said in the initial post, it's partially because of a difference in priorities. Korea is notorious for using media to gain global standing, the role of the 'soft power' of Thai bls in the recent bills for equal marriage in Thailand has been widely discussed, the list goes on. Could racism also play a part in the massive gulf of interest in media from East Asian versus South Asian countries? Probably. But I'm not going to get into that too much.

Moving on, there's obviously a massive lack of queer media in India. I think this is greatly exacerbated by the fact that it's very hard to support the people making queer media beyond buying and/or streaming their work. The majority of people engaging with Indian queer media are queer Indians, and a lot of us have to do so in secret because of the society we live in. This means that creators that have to push through several obstacles to publish their work often receive little incentive to continue doing so because of the lack of engagement. Because of the lack of media, international fans are less likely to become interested in queer Indian media, and the cycle continues.

I will say though, contrary to what Shan said, I think Indian media, particularly anything that came out post 2019 might actually be on the easier end of the spectrum when it comes to access. This may simply be bias, so forgive me if I'm wrong here, but from what I've seen, a lot of queer Indian shows are in fact available on streaming sites, and at most you'd need a vpn to access them. I think the two main things that actually hold back queer Indian media from becoming more popular are a lack of noise and it's relatively lower quality.

The main way we find out about new shows in this space is through either word of mouth (well actually, post) or because we follow production houses known for producing media. Because of the sparse nature of both the media and the consumers, there's very few people who learn enough about the media to want to give it a shot. For example, there's a film on netflix called Badhaai Do (hindi for Congratulate Us) that I've been meaning to watch for a while. It centers around a lavender marriage and I've heard a lot of good things about it, so I was slightly surprised to see that most of the people on tumblr I interact with who have been engaging with queer media for far longer than me had never heard of it. There's also a, Indian BL from 2017 called Romil and Jugal that I've written about before here, and I would've never learned of it's existence if not for a friend hearing about it from another friend of hers.

Because there's so little queer indian media, it's natural that the quality leaves much to be desired. The main issue is, because the queer asian media market has become so saturated lately people are becoming a lot more selective with what they watch, and for good reason. This means that queer media from india is simply unable to grow and improve over time, leaving it stagnant. Back in 2016-2018, the overall dearth of queer media from Asia meant that a lot of people were willing to watch shows that were average or even worse. Thailand particularly seems to have benefitted from this, being able to grow and evolve its queer media due to the successes of shows like SOTUS, 2gehter, TharnType and more even recently, KinnPorsche. Queer Indian media will have a much, much harder time with this because of all of the factors I've talked about and more, meaning that it is much harder for queer media to evolve. Honestly, though I haven't been able to watch/read much queer media from India, the stuff I have seen is really quite decent, it's just that it tends to fail in comparison to some of the brilliant stuff we're seeing from other countries. A while a ago, I bought four queer books by Indian authors, and of the three I've read so far, I'd genuinely recommend two, albeit one with quite a few reservations (I'll be writing about them sometime in the future, just haven't found the time yet). While talking about this with @neuroticbookworm, she brought up the excellent point of how Indian media in general has just been of fairly poor quality lately. It seems to me that a lot of it is catered to more conservative audiences, which results in people like me becoming disillusioned with Indian media and simply moving onto things from other countries. It has been a long time since I've watched anything worthwhile come out of Bollywood. So, it becomes even harder for queer Indian shows to be found at all; a majority of their target audience has already forsaken Indian media as a lost cause.

So, those are a bunch of reasons because of which there's not a lot of discussion about queer Indian media in fandom spaces like Tumblr. Something else I'd like to point out is, it's very hard for queer shows in India to gain much traction whatsoever. Live television slots are ruled by the infamous Indian serials, the majority of the audience being people in their late thirties and older, particularly women. And while homophobia is just as prevalent amongst the youth of India as it is amongst older generations, younger people are far more likely to be engaging with queer media, in India at least. This means that it would be near impossible for queer shows to air on live television the way they do in countries like Thailand and Japan. The majority of Indian youth use global streaming services to watch shows, hence the greater concentration of queer shows on service platforms. (Romil and Jugal is something of a dark horse here—I don't believe it was ever aired, but it was produced by a producer who has a few decently popular serials under her belt and is available on an Indian steaming service—another reason I'm determined to research how tf this show ever came into existence) If we talk of movies, the industry is limited by the iron fist of Bollywood, another reason it's very hard for queer movies to be produced and why they're generally found on streaming sites.

There's just not a lot of people who have the balls it would take to make a queer Indian show/movie and push it to the Indian public beyond a streaming service. I mean, we're all seeing what's happening with the Love in The Big City drama right now, and believe me, public backlash in India would be the same, if not much worse. And if no one in India is watching these shows, why would anyone in any other part of the world? There's barely any public figures that would be willing to participate in such a project, so queer media stays underground. Currently, Karan Johar is the most popular—and one of the only—out celebrities in Bollywood, and, well, he's treated as something of a laughing stock by the public. He has one or two queer adjacent shows under his belt as a producer, but once again, they're barely known and available only on Netflix. There was a movie called Dostana in which he played a straight guy pretending to be gay but, well, that speaks for itself. And well, I can't exactly blame him for it, knowing how the Indian entertainment industry is.

To talk a little more about the specific comparison between India and Korea, I think you're fairly accurate in saying that the two countries seem to be roughly on par in terms of homophobia, although that's an extremely vague statement that's rather hard to either prove or disprove. While the difference in international attention towards Korean and Indian media is certainly a major component of the difference in discussion about the queer media from these countries, there's obviously other things that go into it as well. There's this video I watched some time ago on the progression of queer representation in K-dramas that's quite well researched. It's an hour and a half long, so in case you don't have the time to watch it (though I do recommend it), it basically talks about some of the dramas with queer rep that have aired on Korean television and their impact. While it's hard to gauge the level of impact of these shows on the availability of bls and gls in Korea, they certainly had an effect, if only telling the queer population of Korea that they are seen and heard. To my knowledge (although I may be mistaken), no such queer rep has ever aired on Indian television, meaning that there's nothing to push creators to put queer media out there. There have been old movies and shows that depict queerness, but none of them ever reached the sort of the scale where they may have some sort of impact on the industry. As I mentioned earlier, the widespread popularity of K-dramas (and k-pop) does make it easier for creators to make queer media since there's a much higher chance of the shows being successful thanks to the international audience. Bringing back Love In The Big City, the success of the book abroad and the high probability of the show being well received internationally is probably one of the reasons it was able to be produced amongst domestic backlash.

Now, I've been talking a lot about how it's difficult for queer Indian media to gain any sort of international recognition with domestic attention. However, it's not necessarily the case. Here's where I start rambling (I say, as if this post isn't verging on 2k words). It's been proven that the presence of the international market allows for greater creative freedom in spaces beyond television. The best example comes from Korea's very own 'soft power'; K-pop. There's a K-pop group called Dreamcatcher that debuted in 2017 with a rock sound and horror concept that was extremely rare in kpop at the time. They succeeded mainly by focusing most of their promotions to the foreign market, knowing that their concept would not be well liked in Korea. And they succeeded. Today, Dreamcatcher has a sizeable fandom and has even been growing in popularity in Korea, with the Korean public warming up to their genre and having influenced other girl groups to try out similar sounds. We've already talked about the lack of international attention for Indian media, but there's also the issue that the producers of queer Indian media aren't marketing to foreign audiences, which remain ignorant.

That's all I have, this is so long good lord. All in all, there's a bunch of factors that feed into each other creating a cycle which means that, unless there's a break somewhere, queer Indian media will remain unrecognized. I'm excited to see what other people have to say, because this is a topic close to my heart and I'd definitely enjoy seeing more discussions around it.

[littlelittlestar-o]

Ima post them bc yall asked

VIZZY,NUZI, AND JESSA FANKIDS!!!!

Meet bebe tessa doorman (yes N desided to make tessa her middle name,tessa is also her godmother!) the daughter of of N and Uzi doorman (When they married N changed his last name to doorman) bebe is a cheerlearder with her bff maddie!! But she is still an angsty teen robot!! She is 17 years old. And she is dating SD-C (more on the new murder drones later) she made and programed a dog which she named biscuit!! Biscuit is a 3 month year old sized golden retriver with bright brown eyes (his size is that of a 3 month year old puppy) biscuit has retractable claws,biscuit is very protevtive of bebe!!

Meet the twins maddie and hunter johnson!! Mads and hunter and and odd pair... To say the least. Maddie unlike both their parents (V and Lizzy johnson, same story as N, V took lizzys last name) she is a bubblie and kind drone!!! Her being bffs with bebe and she has retracable claws (more lore on how they have them latter) she is also dating James( j x tessa's child)!!! Hunter is more like V though being sarcastic and ready to fight... Even his own sister. Like his mom he can regenerate but has no other abilites beside being awsome at basketball!! He is also bffs with the one and only james!!!

Meet james Elliot the son of tessa and J (tessa got revide by uzi, idk i got inspo from the worker drone tessa comics)!!! Hunter is alot like his mom, J. (He calls J mom and tessa mother or mama) james is very down to earth (or should i say copper-9?) He often softens up to his girlfriend maddie. His bff is hunter (it was very caotic when maddie and james first told hunter) he often is getting getting mistaken for a girl. He also plays basketball with hunter following him and maddie around he dosnt talk much but when he dose its quite and short.

RANDOM INFO:

You may not be asking yourself but why are they all workerdrones? Well due to cyn making the species its very hard to even have full disembily drone cildren also if you were to have them it would be crazy hard to keep alive sence they are not made to have children they dont have baby forms making it almost imposible!!!

Why do hunter and maddie have abilits and dose any one else have abilities? 1. Maddie and hunter are pretty much the closest thing to a murder drone! V and lizzy are very confused on how they got the abilities and how! 2. Hunter and maddie aren't the only ones with abilities bebe infact has the absolute solver but ever sence she found out she has been hiding it!!

Who are the new disembily drones? Ever sence J, V, and N "retired" 3 new murder drones came, sd-c (bebe's awsome girlfriend) and her 2 brother (the older on is 22 and the younger one is 12- sorry! Sorry! 13 🙄!!) Sd-X (X is the older one) and sd-G (younger brother) but not everything is fine with the murder drones... X is often trying to kill G due to him "being younger and useless". G is still learning how to be a murder drone he is not good at using guns and missles he is better at fighting/killing with swords and knifes. G is also good at flighing but no as good when it comes to landing he often just faceplants he also takes longer to heal for example when uzi shot J in the piliot that damage to G would take him at LEAST 3 years to fully hear in conpasine to J who only took 2 months to fully heal (my au) thats why when X tries to kill him and damages him badly its really bad. Nothing is really known about X besides his hatered twords G for unknown reasons. C is often the one in the middle needing to protect G from X. C is also 17 yrs old and the only girl in the gang i will show a pic!! (I havent drawn X or G yet)

One fact about C is that her hands are bigger near then end for a reason that reason is because she can transform them into sheilds!!!

Can we have more info on biscuit? Of course!! Bebe created buscuit when she was 16 years old, she made him what she thought a golden retriver was like althogh biscuit got a few more traits from following N, Uzi, and Bebe around!!! Biscuit is kind but can get aggresive if he sences danger twords Bebe, Uzi, or N when bebe sneaks out to hang out with her secret girlfriend biscuit is often following her!!!

If you have any question about these fanchildren and all of that reblog or ask in the comments below!!!

Thanks for all the people asking to see this AU!!!!

[cardboardclownery]

...hi guys :]

so uhh. folie a deux posting again-

this issss the first chapter i wrote for this!! cookie and i split the chapters among

ourselves specially based on their content and when pitching the idea for this one cookie said they felt sick while reading my idea so. i was chosen to write this one for his sake -v-

SO!! sit back, relax, and enjoy the horrors my friend B]

(also sorry about the bracket bits at the start, we havent made placeholder town names yet or anything ;v;)

FOLIE À DEUX - CHAPTER 5, DRAFT 1

big tw for: graphic depictions of violence, cannibalism, dark themes(?? its freaky idk what youd call it)

I’ve once again found myself in the dark, suffocating woods surrounding the towns of Eastridge. Realistically, I could’ve stayed in [town name] for a bit longer– I had only just started living there before moving out again. Despite that, something in my head is telling me that I have to leave. Telling me how that place is too close to my old home, how easy it would be for Lankmann to find me there.

That voice has been leading me fairly well so far, so I have no reason to stop following him now.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a bit doubtful, though. I have no reason to believe he’s right or wrong, but a voice telling me to walk endlessly through the wilderness with unconfirmable reasoning isn’t exactly easy to believe. What other choice do I have, though? Stay put and see if it’s proven right, only to risk being put back into that hellish asylum?

No. That isn’t an option. We– I’m not going back there.

God, I’m hungry.

Still, I keep walking, ignoring how much my stomach growled. If I just make it to the nearest town soon, I can get something to eat. I think I still have enough money left to buy something. If not… hopefully they have a soup kitchen. I never imagined I’d end up in a situation where I would depend on something like that. I guess I never considered how people end up homeless or unable to feed themselves.

It feels odd calling myself a “person” now. I don’t know why, but it just seems… wrong in some way.

…I smell something. What is that smell? It’s visceral, almost like raw pork, and yet oddly sweet. I feel drool well up in my mouth and drip down my chin. I quickly wipe it off with my sleeve as I feel my heart begin to pound. Why am I so shaky? And why am I so much hungrier than before?

I look around for the source of the smell only to see a person walking not too far off in the distance. The trees make it hard to see them very well, but I can tell it’s a person. I know it doesn’t make sense for them to be the source of the smell, and yet something’s telling me that they are.

I find myself unable to look away from them. I don’t know why, but I just can’t.

Something about them makes me feel even hungrier.

Why am I hungrier? That’s a fucking person, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just look away– I keep trying but I can’t get myself to look anywhere else but at them. My jaw falls open, letting more saliva spill out. They start walking farther away, I should walk away too.

But I can’t stop staring.

I can’t stop drooling.

I can’t…

I can’t…

stop…

…

…What...

What’s…going on..?

I can’t remember…how I got here…

I feel something in my mouth…I’m chewing something. It feels like steak, yet tastes more like ham. There’s so much of it, I feel it spilling out over my chin. It’s so warm… and wet… Is it covered in blood..? Was this even cooked at all? What the hell am I eating!?

I look down and–

And–

Fuck. Fuck, I–

I choke on what I was chewing, covering my eyes.

This isn’t fucking happening this isn’t happening–

I uncover my eyes and look down again. I see the same thing.

That person I saw. They’re right here, laying right in front of me. They won’t move, there’s a tear in their neck and they’re bleeding. They’re bleeding a lot.

Their leg’s bleeding too– there’s a deep gash in it. It looks as if an animal had torn it open with its teeth.

There’s blood on my hands. And my face, and my clothes.

There’s so much blood.

A sob pushed at my throat as I willed myself into looking at the person’s face. Another slipped out as I saw them staring back at me, making me look away again. I can’t bear looking at them like this. I can’t believe they’re even alive, let alone conscious.

It would’ve been so much easier if it wasn’t…

…What do you mean, “it?”

They aren’t an “it,” that– that’s a person that’s not–

I shake my head and look back down at its– their leg. The wound left in it is so deep, almost reaching the bone. For some reason, when I looked at this…

When I looked… I felt so, so hungry.

I swallow what remained in my mouth. It tastes… good.

Why does it… taste good..?

Without thinking, I lean down, hold the person’s leg in place and tear off another hunk of flesh with my teeth. The person doesn’t even resist or scream. It just lays there, whimpering in pain.

Its meat tastes so, so good.

I quickly chew up the viscera between my teeth and gulp it down along with the blood it was drenched in. I lick my lips to take in the mess on my face. It was oddly savory, even sweet. I tore off another chunk from its leg.

“I…I-I’m so…I’m sor…ry…” I choked out between chews. “I’m so… so, sorry…”

I swallowed down the mush in my mouth before croaking out another “sorry.” I couldn’t stop repeating as I ate, “sorry,” “sorry,” “I’m sorry,” as if it would do anything. It didn’t take long to notice the person stop responding. It finally died off as I sobbed pointless apologies, devouring what was left of its leg.

My sobs became incomprehensible blubbering after this. I couldn’t bring myself to eat anymore. I just buried my head in my hands, muffling the nonsense tumbling from my throat.

…It’s so odd.

In less than a week, I’ve transformed from a deer in headlights into a predator– a beast perhaps even more frightening than the one I had been running from all this time.

…

I can’t remember exactly how we- I got rid of the body. I just remember panicking, dragging the corpse for hours without thinking. I can’t remember where it is now. I think I stepped on something. Just above my ankle, there’s a bloody gash that must’ve been there for a while now. It’s from a bear trap I think. I probably shouldn’t be walking with a wound like that in my leg. I probably shouldn’t be able to walk with that in my leg. It stings, but it doesn’t hurt as much as it should, I don’t think.

I’m still damp from washing in a river. I think it was a river. It might’ve been a lake, actually. I can’t really remember that, either. I just know I was covered in blood, then went somewhere that had water and left without any blood on me. I couldn’t get the stains off of my clothes, though.

Hopefully no one noticed.

I’m in an apartment now– a small, run-down one, but an apartment. I’ll be stuck living here for a while so I need to get used to it. I’ve been staring at the same spot on the beige, hole-filled wall for a few minutes now, standing just in front of the door leading outside. My bag is lying next to me, having been dropped just after walking inside and closing the door.

I should go to bed.

I should unpack.

I should take a proper shower.

I should turn myself in to the police.

I should

I

don’t

I don’t. Know.

What do I do now?

Where do I go from here?

What… what do I do..?

I… I killed someone… I can’t even remember where they are now…

I just… hid them… like it was nothing and walked away.

I ate their fucking leg.

Why… why did I… Why…

Why…

I…

Can’t… breathe…

I fall backwards against the door. I can’t breathe. I choke on nothing. I can’t stop shaking.

My eyes start to sting from the tears forming in them. My fingers curl against the floor. My nails dig into it as they do.

Inhuman sounds bubble in my throat.

I feel something heavy wrap around me but nothing is there.

It becomes easier to breathe somehow.

The invisible weight around me grows heavier, pushing me down to the floor.

I curl into myself, lurching with each choked sob of a breath. Despite there being no source of it in the room, I swear I can hear music.

I really have lost it, haven’t I.

[saintforan]

So i saw that u made that Holders au and was open to questions so here goes:

Would the rest of the smiling critters have Miraculous/miraculum (idk how's it exactly called) too? Which ones would they have if yes? Would it be kinda based on the animals or character more, or maybe even smth else?

Cuz ironically the pig miraculum is like for a cheery person so it fits with the piggy smiling critter in both cases

OOP be prepared for another long ahh ramble post

Alright so, on the og series the miraculous are given to whoever the miraculous guardian aka master fu decides they are worthy of having them, so he gives the cat and ladybug miraculous to adrien and marinette bc they proved they were good people. The thing is that besides them two, and ofc the villain, the rest of the people that get miraculous they only get them temporarily when chat noir and ladybug need help.

THE THING IS that who chooses who gets the miraculous in the og series is marinette?, like ok shes a very good ladybug but i find it kinda nonsense that she being a 14yo teenager gets trusted by the miraculous guardian (whos like, old af) to choose who gets supernatural power????? idk but personally doesnt make sense to me, i would understand it if she had like atleast A DECADE of experience with them but she barely has any ;-;

SO MY POINT WITH THIS is that i wanted to avoid that same thing bc again, doesn't make any sense to me, so in thia AU theres no guardian! yippeee!

So how the fuck do they even get them in the first place? Easy! They found them! This universe follows the same prompt as the og one where nineteen of the miraculous were sheltered by the order of the guardians (Ppl designated to take care of them), BUT on this AU said order would eventually fall apart/perish for a reason i havent figured out yet LOL on my behalf i just made this au like, yesterday LMAO

After this happened, the miraculous they sheltered got lost, and since the Order was erradicated, there was no one that would actively search for them. SO some time later, mr prototype found an old book that told the tale about the miraculous and blablabla and the infinite power that the black cat and ladybug miraculous give to whoever lands their hands on them, and so he decided to hire investigators and archeologists to find these precious jewels he learned about. Although he didn't find the black cat and ladybug miraculous, he did find the butterfly and peacock. Then after a while, catnap and dogday found the ladybug and black cat miraculous. So going back to your question (too many words just to get here LOL), i still need to develop this au some more, but im planning to make dogday very interested in the miraculous thing, therefore while investigaating them them out of pure curiosity, and adding that the ladybug miraculous makes him luckier he would actually get to find some of them. This said, the rest of the critters could get one on two situations, 1) like dogday and catnap, they get lucky enough to find one, 2) a little like on the og story, in a very very VERY VERY VERY (emphazise on V E R Y) fucked up situation they might encounter, as the critters are good friends to dogday and catnap, they could give them one of the ones they found, but again this would be on a VERY fucked up situation

if i had to choose which one of them to give a miraculous it would prob be either crafty or kickin mainly bc they are the ones that dogday trust the most besides catnap, or in a very specific situation bubba could get one too, a Felix like situation where he steals one from the prototype but on this case it would be out of greedyness lol, very much like layla

and about which one would they get.. i was thinking on giving crafty either the fox (gives the power of Illusion) or the rabbit (Gives the power to time travel), as for kickin he would prob get the turtle (gives the power of Protection aka s h i e l d) or i would go for the safe option and give thim the rooster. As for why they would get those animals miraculouses, my main reason for choosing them would be how responsible they would be (or how i think they would be) with the power each of them gives, for example, crafty would get the rabbit one bc whoever carries it must be really careful with it as it involves time travel, and on my personal vision of crafty she would def be able to handle it

i think thats all? if u got any more questions feel free to ask yippee

[lumaxramblings]

what are your favorite lumax/max/lucas headcanons??? :3 (idk if you've been asked this before mghskdjs)

I HAVE BUT NOT IN AGES, WOOOH TIME TO EXERCISE THE PART OF MY BRAIN DEDICATED TO LUMAX LMAO

— for sexualities, they acc have kinda opposite ones for me lmao: demisexual biromantic for lucas, bisexual demiromantic for max.

— no pet names. only madmax and stalker.

— lucas tried and failed to use a skateboard to impress max. max noticed the scratches the next day and immediately recognized that, and was deeply flattered even if she didn't show it. she helped lucas learn after that, though he never got further than a gentle glide.

— she educates him on the wonder woman lore and know he knows it better than any of the party, even dustin, who's obsessed w superheroes of all stripes

— lucas has made max not hate her birthday anymore <3

— the sinclairs are pretty much max's second (and better) family. she goes there whenever being at home stresses her out (aka most of the time) and they've practically adopted her. lucas is so happy his parents and max get along <3

— he is, however, not glad max and erica get along... they both roast his ass all the time and erica has told max all the embarrassing details (though he's secretly so so happy they do <3)

— lucas is the little spoon. this is non negotiable. max is the little spoon on very spare occasions but otherwise it's always lucas

— max and lucas infodumping (they're audhd x autistic for me) at each other; max telling lucas all there is to know about skateboarding, lucas telling max all there is to know about fighting styles and military weapons. they bounce off each other when talking abt video games it's so adorable

— SPEAKING OF VIDEO GAMES: lucas has yet to beat max's score. max boasts and says he never will, but she encourages him and cheers him on anyways. he's gotten so close before but he kept getting distracted by max holding onto his shoulder and grinning with him. as for max, she keeps getting worse scores because lucas watches her with the most lovey dovey look ever

— max cuts her hair, lucas loves it so much

— lucas is autistic and max is audhd. you agree.

— uhhHHhhh lucas is the only one max trusts with the saxophone secret

thats all i got LMFAOFHJFHJFHJHJF sorry if they arent v good, i'm tired, head hurts a lil, and i havent thought abt og lumax in ages <3 hope this was okay anon!

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[magnoliamyrrh]

this is about the convo earlier with being molested by family members..i'm also balkan and i grew up with my grandparents but especially my grandpa inappropriately touching my chest and when i tried to tell my mom, older sis and aunt they all dismissed it as 'ehh he probably didn't mean to/his hand slipped'. i didn't wanna insist and look crazy because i do love my grandpa and he was the only parental figure i had in my life growing up, but at the same time...he did do that. idk if he thought it was normal or what but i think about it often. i can't bring it up with my family again because they'll just ignore it (especially now that he's dead). it's weird to think about how loving and nice he was when he was also doing shit like that from time to time. idk where i'm going with this but yeah. i don't think of myself as someone who was molested as a kid but this shit is definitely normalized. i've seen it in other families where they'd constantly touch and talk about their little boy's genitals... it's so fucked up

it really is fucked up, and its fucked up to realize that so many of us grew up w this.... for a long time i thought this was a me issue not a cultural one - and all the silence and shame around it certainly didnt help w that.... its been fucking weird to think abt the last couple of days since i asked on here abt it. like.. weve really made this SO normal and common huh?? that going against it is outright dismissed or even punished??? i cant help but just keep wondering where the fuck it all went so wrong and how we got here - and whats so wrong that things like this havent been accepted only in the balkans but elsewhere. what. what is wrong with this species. incest is one of the only universal taboos among humans, and most other mammals also have an aversion to it. and yet. we have normalized an abnormal amount of it nontheless over and over again .....? uuuff

im sorry you went through that, and im sorry they didn't take it seriously and listen more to you. thats something that always hurts in particular. discomfort/repulsion is a normal reaction to have and youd expect at least the other women in ur family to care or understand it too, and its rly fucked up when they just... dismiss it or minimize it or make you feel guilty for it or like its your issue or hell do it themselves.. i figure for a lot of them, if theyd accept that what youre saying is bad, itd mean theyd have to accept that things they went through themselves was bad, and they dont wanna do that. so they dont do either.. im sorry that u cant speak abt it and i totally get how him being dead would make it all much harder. in my family at least we v much have a "dont speak ill of the dead" sorta thing, or just excusing the actions of particularly men after they did sorta thing......i still haven't told my family just about anything. any time i ever tried to bring up anything as a kid id get dismissed and ignored at best or be punished or degraded and humiliated at worst so.... learned my lesson on that one but. thank u for sending this, i hate to hear how many of us went through this but also its. nice to know that were not alone in this and that other ppl do get it

and i feel you. its a really confusing mess to try to make sense of how to feel abt ppl like that... be angry? be grossed out, be scared? be numb, be okay with it, pretend it didnt happen? excuse it, explain it away? .... and its just weird in the cases when it wasnt rly something particularly violent, or ""not that bad/bad enough"" ig or towes that line of being able to convince urself that maybe welll it could have been an accident. its weird to know how to feel abt them when they were seemingly ok ppl you cared abt and still do and who were nice other times. .. but also... did shit like this which end of the day just isnt ok. idk... i dont think theres rly a end or solution or one way to feel, i think.... its just kinda bound to be a cocktail of conflicting emotions... im still trying to figure out how to find some sort of. idk, potential resolution or peace w any of it but i haven't rly figured it out yet, i just keep turning it in my mind too

[knifegrrrl1312]

hhelo friends do you want to see all the books i took out from the library? :) (tbh i only started reading like 2 of them but im so excited for these books)

im sso excited for this one i have not started reading it yet ive never read anything by emma goldman yet until now

i tthink this was recommended to me by someone dont remember who but im so excited to read it ive heard alot of people talk ab this book in transfemme circles online

i saw ppl talk ab this book on the r/anarchy subreddit in relation to the school system and how academia would change under anarchy, and it piqued my interest have not started reading it yet but i will let u guyz know what i think of it, ive not read anything by paulo freire yet and i hope to read more of his works in the future

i started reading this but i did not get far however so far this book is spectacular, this book pays tribute to the indigenous women and leaders who have led resistence movements and are responsible for many of the institutions in winnipeg today that help indigenous families and created alot of change in the north end community in winnipeg. Even if you dont live in Winnipeg i think you should give this one a read and learn about indigenous resistance movements here. :)

i have not started reading this one yet however just by reading like the tidbit inside i can tell this is going to be an important book. I always wanted to learn more about this topic specifically and luckily this book was right there on the shelf calling to me. It refrences an incident in 2012 oregon when a woman named Julie Keith opened a package of halloween decorations for $5 at Kmart and found an SOS letter handwritten in broken english inside. The letter said: "Sir: If you occassionally buy this product, please kindly resend this letter to the World Human Rights Organization. Thousands people here who are under the persicution of the Chinese Communist Party Government will thank you and remember you forever."

This seems like a dark yet very important read and although i havent started it yet i think others should def check this book out.

I started reading this one and again did not get v far since all these books are still so new but it details the authors journey of teaching her son to think critically usually via media like movies and whatnot showing him how movies teach people to be misogynistic and view women a certain way (i feel like that was worded v clunky) This book made me think of my brother and how my parents made sure to teach him to not bully girls in school and to this day my brother is very respectful to women, when he talks to them he even talks in a softer voice almost idk reminds me alot of my little brother.

i have not started reading this one yet but anti-racism is very important to learn about, people are taught that racism is a binary thing and that just "not being racist" is enough. But to dismantle racism would be to consistently identify it especially within ourselves, im really excited to read this one and possibly challenge myself and educate myself on this particular topic

im so excited to do the recipes in this book, they arent very hard. I saw that this book has a recipe for mexican wedding cookies and as a mexican living outside of mexico i usually resort to baking my cultures delicious goods since i cant find anywhere that sells them where i live. I just love baking its so fun, im so good at it too since im rly good at following instructions lolol

[gomagopowerrangers]

THIS WILL BE UPDATED AS I UPDATE IT shhhhh there r no errors here (slash sillay)

copy+pasting this from google docs bc i can :3

Labyrinth Archives (copied from discord): the Labyrinth Archives r were Zone lived before everything. w a crew, Zone's parents, and robots. it was a huge ship of various files and books sent WAY out into space to keep safe from the war (i know v little about Halo so forgive me if its Incorrect). it was made more for storage than actual fighting. he was able to get school/education n stuff thanks to recordings and crew/parent helping but he never officially graduated. 

problems occurred (still workin on that part. pest invasion possibly? maybe the Flood idk rn) and they eventually began to run out of food. Zone (13) was the youngest at the time and more food/rations were saved bc of that. eventually it was just him and the robots left before PFL found the ship after a few months

13

-everybody on the Archives fucking died except him. Stuck in deep space with corpses for months is not fun. abandonment issues start here. the robots in the archives quarantined the starved bodies without telling Zone who lived off of the food that was quickly going down

-found by PFL who gave him an ultimatum: join the program, or go back to the Archives. 

-regular meetings with the Counselor studying how a young teen would handle the training and missions. these meetings would later become less and less

-training with Maine/one of the freelancers that was bigger than him (obvs not Tex but hes affected by her later). testing resilience and agility while fighting a bigger and more powerful opponent

-anger issues stem from being held back for certain missions that he was fully capable of completing

-more tba

14

-does not show his face for fear of judgment then shunning. he was doubted in the Archives and prior, he doesnt want it to happen again. some kind of anxiety develops

-1.5 years in as a freelancer. gets burned on the right side and is forced to show that he is young for this job. everything ends up being alright tho

-is able to get the final pieces of figuring out how bad PFL is and goes to CT (see relationship doc)

-more tba

15

-Tex shows up. Zone looks up to her but is weary because of York’s injury. 

-Maine loses his voice. Zone gets somewhat clingy and is scared to lose Maine. he relaxes after Maine makes a full recovery and manages to develop a (somewhat) language through growls. he does NOT like Sigma that much, however

-spars with Tex and gets two broken arms

-a mission goes wrong and Zone almost drowns. thalassophobia starts to develop 

-more tba

16

-CT defects without him knowing. abandonment issues rise here. he was on a mission with another freelancer at the time and didnt know until a day after he got back

-put under surveillance and questioned about CT and her defection. is unable to go to the Shipyards (insurrectionist!Zone AU splits here. I!Zone goes to shipyards)

-CT dies. Zone essentially shuts down and stays near Maine (mainly. o lmao theres a pun there. woag), York, and South like hes afraid theyll die too, but doesnt speak to them. he avoids Tex at all cost and hates Carolina

-watched Maine throw Carolina off that cliff and begins to travel with the Meta to find Tex

-earns the name “the Wraith” (see info doc) during this

-stops aging due to him attacking Wyoming and the Temporal Distortion malfunctioning

-attacked a freelancer who knocked his helmet off and gave him that scar on his left cheek among others. was able to kill them (state name unknown for now)

-Maine dies and he jumps in after him. hypothermia gotten+thalassophobia gets worse (other details to be added)

Chorus. mainly Felix. fuckin rat

another category for Restoration because OH BOY! i havent seen it yet SOOOOOO

develops

-C-PTSD

-anxiety

-abandonment issues

-trust issues

-anger issues

-slight paranoia

-insanity

-fear of getting close to people again (dont know if there is/the name. shit it might just be trust issues)

-thalassophobia (fear of large bodies of water) 

this is ALL without rps btw. he gets more issues there :3

[deathandthemaiden23]

Bro idk who's around me rn idk who's really still here in this fandom idk who will even see this or read it and i dont wanna get into it (proceeds to get into it) but ive been on a grand fucking expedition to confront past trauma and shit lately which whoopeee what else is new for what basically amounts to a dreamworks adult obsessed with the grim reaper from shrek specifically i think there's probably an actual good reason this is my biggest blorbo yet (which by the way, my good bitches, is truly saying something) beyond "big scary wolf sexy" but like anyways its been a hot fuckin second of me just sort of existing in purgatory with basically only this character to keep me real company the whole time chipping away at fanfic and makin doodles here and there while trying to solve the great big fuckin mystery of hey pal is there any particular reason you spend most of your free time fantasizing at length about being loved and cared for by literal fuckin death but um i kinda sorta had been making peace lately with the very real possibility that probably the only reappearances from Death we'd see going forward in this franchise would kinda just be relegated to stuff like being a playable character in that dumbass mario kart game they made recently that they had the audacity to charge $50 for the version with him in it and I was immediately prepared to shell out the fuckin money regardless anyways tldr this is my longwinded way of saying bless harvey fuckin guillen for supposedly saying he wants to reprise his role as perrito in shrek 5 and specifically mentioning he wanted to know more about his backstory including the near death experience he had in the sock that he still wears like ok let me be clear im not getting my hopes up for shit im super excited about the idea of harvey and everybody reprising their roles for future shrek installments but i know shit be disappointing sometimes and it just be like that sometimes blablabla alright nothing is set in stone in this cursed ass timeline we're in bbbbbbut

✨️H O W E V E R✨️

I cannot help but think in some kind of weirdly jaded optimism that surely dreamworks would not fucking let the absolute furry cashcow that Death is go to fucking waste if they're bringing shrek back to the big screen it just seems incredibly fuckin stupid this big fuckin bastard gave everyone a boner when last wish dropped to the extent that i actually didnt know anything about last wish going in to see it in theaters the first time knew nothing of the plot who was in it whatever right THE ONLY FUCKIN KNOWLEDGE I HAD OF LAST WISH PRIOR TO SITTING DOWN AND WATCHING IT WAS "OH I GUESS THERE'S A WOLF CHARACTER AND EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK HIM" LMFAO UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKIN YEAR RIGHT LOL anyways if dreamworks doesnt seize the opportunity to give him at least one more like visible cameo appearance anywhere in whatever they can squeeze out of the shrek franchise after it was dead (lmfao) for like years (the puss in boots show is little known to anyone sadly and also it seems vaguely noncanonical if that makes sense stuff gets said on the regular in that show that just seems too batshit even for shrek standards) I'll genuinely like die of shock the entertainment industry is chock full of companies just like dreamworks always achin to get their hands on another iconic character they can squeeze money out of ad infinitum and like i dont want that to happen with Death I dont but also... please just let him show up at least one more time dreamworks throw this bitch a bone im begging you you will make so much money i promise u the thirsty tumblr fans are no joke we'll bankroll your ass to the moon and back

I feel it would be remiss of me not to offer some form of content after all this impassioned war and peace length solilioquy about the scu (shrek cinematic universe) so here's an old WIP from forever ago im like 90% i havent posted here (if i have oh fuckin well tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) its a lil scene from chapter 2 of my death fic where he gets caught redhanded picking flowers for his crush because he's a dork ass loser and wants to impress her without coming on too strong lmao like bro she's so into you just go for it

[blackvail22]

9/22/23 — 1:20am

i hate wanting to be productive in the middle of the night. i was tired all day tdy, and now i just want to do something productive. no!!! i work earlier than usual tomorrow!!!!

im doing my skincare now... i wore makeup tdy so i have no choice but to do it 🤯

im tired still but i dont want to sleep. i feel like i havent been productive enough tdy even though i went to 3 different appointments and within the 2 hours before work i cleaned my bathroom sink (that was incredibly disgusting, i am not exaggerating. no one has cleaned it in like a little over a year. my dad shaves his face there whenever it gets like 5 inches long and doesnt clean the hair out of the sink/on the counter. its gross.), made ramen (it wasnt v good).... at work i walked around almost the whole 6 hours. my feet hurt so!! bad!! after i work. it happens every time. it doesnt help that when i fell down my stairs, my "sprained" foot didnt heal properly. i also hurt my hand at work and have not seen a doctor .... im ngl im like a mess and if i tell anyone abt this theyll tell me its because im fat and need to lose weight WE GET IT. I KNOW. IM TRYING, AND JUST BECAUSE I AM DOESNT MEAN THAT I CANT HAVE SMTH WRONG WITH ME?????

anyways

im tired. like mentally and physically. i had counseling tdy and i told her everything and the time still wasnt full. she shared some things abt her life recently... still didnt fill the time. she didnt respond much at all, but she's grieving, so i understand

im not telling anyone except u and my digital diary about my situation with my ex... i need to stop complaining to people abt him and making it everyones problem when its really my fault i keep letting him back in my life. its bad! ive literally had dreams where he did that *thing* but like in an extremely worse way, and i told myself that i just had to live with it, that i have to get used to it. and, i mean, i guess i do... if i can *** ***** then he can do whatever.

im not even with him... just flirting heavily. he picks up on it, i think so, anyway....

im tired

i saw that u updated ur music playlist you sent to me recently ! so heres a song for u in return

2:51am

idk why it pisses me off so bad but when b says shes ugly it makes me so angry. "why cant i be like the pretty girls?" she is the definition of a pretty girl... she may not see it because people were mean to her growing up but its like... ive cried SO much because of how pretty she is. my parents call her the pretty girl, people at school say shes pretty all the time... it just makes me so upset that someone as pretty as her cant see it. and i wish she could, honestly.

and i hate that this makes me so angry. i have so much envy that it rips me apart every second of the day, and i hate it!!!!! im the fat, ugly friend, and i always felt bad for her being friends with me. she says that im one of the prettiest ppl she knows.... if that were true, would she have deleted all the photos of me off of her phone? who knows. and the fact that people compliment her all the time at school and in public should say A LOT about how pretty she is. it happens all the time! and i mean all the time. maybe she doesnt think it was genuine or she forgets? idk... i think the last time a stranger complimented my appearance was a year and a half ago at a taco bell drive thru. the last time i was called pretty (besides when my mom says it) was at leastt 6 months ago. im like distraught because she is literally so beautiful fuck

this is going to make me cry myself to sleep because i cant say any of this to her because this is really just unhealthy of me, like the envy and making me seem like the victim. it just makes me so upset that everyone thinks shes pretty but herself

yeah im def crying myself to sleep gn i work in 11hrs which sounds like a long time from now but i havent slept yet lol

3:16am

ok i lied i messaged her and said "i saw you commented "i wish i was one of the pretty girls" on a tiktok, and i really need you to know that you are the pretty girl. youre so incredibly beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too... it can be rare to find someone like that. i hope youre able to see yourself through my eyes someday and see yourself for what you truly are—beautiful"

i hope it doesnt come off weird

ok i cried and messaged her i should rlly just sleep now