#idk how to tag. if this site could just decide on one way to tag content warnings...

[non-un-topo]

Wish there was an elixir that wasn't alcohol that you could take that just makes you write/draw and not care about the quality of your work or about what your potential audience might think

[assumedcryptid]

[lazywitchling]

So here's the thing, right? I keep looking through my own blog going "Hey! Where's the witchy content?" (the-- the 'where's the cream filling' commercials? anyone? no? I'm just old? okay.)

I've made a few posts over the past little while that boil down to "blogging about witchery gets hard once it gets more specific". At some point, my craft got so personalized to me, interacting with my own familiar spirit, building my own astral space and figuring out a whole paradigm there about bridges and astral space and liminal space and imagination... there's just so much that I can't really *share* and have it applicable to anyone else but me, you know? So in a slow-but-steady snowball effect, I've wound up going pretty radio silent over here at lazywitchling dot tumblr dot com. I'm still witching in a way, but it's been a lot more reading and information gathering lately. Less active work and more passive learning.

It's hard to talk about the information gathering process, especially when a lot of that has moved offline. It was easy to share all the things I was learning when I was first starting out, because all the things I was learning came from here. It was easy enough to hit the reblog button, share a post to my blog, and tag it so I could find it again later. As a consequence, other people were able to find content through my blog too. But now I'm spending more time reading books offline, taking notes in a physical notebook, sitting quietly in the dark with my eyes closed having conversations with a spirit consisting of vague impressions and images, waving a pendulum at a dusty old building corner and asking The Thing That's There if it wants to stay or leave.

So what do I do about this radio silence? SHOULD I do anything about it? The other thing is that I've seen so so so many witches over the years of this webbed site just disappear, then come back years later with a lot of fanfare and "I'M BACK, BABY!" and then they just... stop posting again after a month. So something about making the big "I've decided to post more!" announcement just doesn't work. You gotta have reason to start posting more, not just the desire to, yaknow?

What do I talk about, then? Vague updates about the astral space I'm building? Perhaps a few more stories of the conversations with J (my familiar)? More vague updates of me screeching at witch books? (I know y'all love that last one!)

Something. idk what, but something.

Anyway. Hi. I'm Jes. It's short for Jester. How's it going?

[sundownpromises]

potato, potato, my little baby potato...

Pairing: Ellie x Dina

Tags/warnings: fluff, pregnancy, childbirth, domesticity, motherhood, slice of life, pregnant dina

Word Count: 1766

Synopsis: A peek into Ellie and Dina's life before JJ was born.

Author's Note: wrote this back in june of 2022 and posted it on ao3, decided to post it here too bc why not <;3 here is the ao3 link!! also idk how well this will do bc I know this site mostly has x reader fics but I love elliedina with my whole soul OKAY. please enjoyyy comments are appreciated!!

When Dina first noticed her small baby bump, it filled her with pure joy. She remembered standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gently rubbing her stomach, eyes full of admiration. Ellie was behind her, hands wrapped around her waist, experiencing a fluttery feeling in her stomach at the thought of her being a mother – which is something she never would've imagined in her wildest dreams. In a dangerous world like the one they navigated, she never believed parenthood would be an option for her, nor was she really interested in it. Ellie thought children were cute, sure, with their contagious giggles and chubby faces, but she knew taking care of one would be more responsibility than she felt she could handle. But with Dina being with her, she felt this unbridled sense of confidence. Dina was caring and loving by nature, and Ellie had a hunch motherhood would come to her easily – with Dina by her side she had someone's footsteps to follow in.

Despite being pregnant, Dina was still very active around the house, much to Ellie's disapproval. Anytime Ellie saw Dina on her feet, whether she was doing the dishes, taking out the laundry, or even getting up to put her plate in the sink, she always made a face similar to that of a displeased mother who couldn't get her sick child to lie down. But Dina always retorted with "It's not like I'm completely immobile yet, so don't worry." 

Dina also spent a lot of time preparing for their baby's arrival, with the help of Ellie and some fellow Jackson residents. 

Maria had connections with a lot of people in Jackson. Random strangers were kind enough to give Ellie and Dina a ton of baby-related things, like a crib, toys, and even books. They spent a whole day setting things up and figuring out where to put certain items, and when they had finished, Dina began to cry, feeling overwhelmingly grateful. Ellie was right there with her, rubbing her back in a soothing manner and holding her close, almost being brought to tears herself as she gazed upon the empty crib.

A few more weeks went by, and Dina's baby bump was getting pretty large. Dina started complaining more about her back hurting, and she couldn't be on her feet for very long. Nevertheless, she still helped Ellie around the house when she could, with small breaks in between. She began using the bathroom more frequently, which quickly began getting on her nerves, as it disrupted her sleep, or interrupted a good reading session. Ellie would always chuckle whenever they were in bed together, her nose buried in a Savage Starlight comic and Dina practicing her embroidery, when all of sudden Dina would groan loudly and reluctantly get out of bed, angrily making her way to the bathroom for the seventh time in just thirty minutes. 

Then, of course, it got to the point where walking was something Dina did only when she needed to. It had been eight months and her stomach looked like it was ready to burst. Ellie found herself helping Dina walk up and down the stairs, getting out of bed in the morning, and even getting up and off of the toilet. Jackson residents also gave away some maternity clothing, which Dina often lounged about in. Even though pregnancy was miserable for Dina, Ellie couldn't help but notice how beautiful she had gotten. Dina had always been attractive in Ellie's eyes, even since they were kids, but Dina really seemed to glow now. 

Before, Dina's hair was always in some sort of up-do, because she was always doing various tasks around the house and needed it out of her face. But since she's been lazing about more often, she usually wore her hair down, and Ellie was in love with how thick and long it had gotten, her unruly curls framing her face in the most breathtaking way. Her skin was brighter, and it almost seemed to shine in a way that totally captivated Ellie. Sometimes, Ellie would find herself ogling at Dina whenever she was doing some random, mundane task, to which Dina would always notice and turn into the prettiest shade of red.

Right on the cusp of her delivery date, Ellie and Dina had a small baby shower. They had a wonderful time, Dina spending hours unwrapping cute onesies, even more toys and a couple parenthood books. It all felt so normal, so domestic, that it almost made Dina cry again, but she kept it together for the sake of her guests. 

It was late at night when their child decided to arrive. Ellie was wide awake, reading her comic book, while Dina was trying to figure out a crossword puzzle. It was quiet and the room was basked in the cozy, soft lighting of the bedside lamp. Dina couldn't seem to figure out the last word of her crossword and decided to give up and try again tomorrow morning with a fresh mind. She turned to her side, groaning at the heaviness at her stomach, and shut her eyes. Ellie glanced at her briefly, smiling softly and whispering "Goodnight, babe." 

The room was quiet once again, Ellie getting immersed into the fictional world of Savage Starlight, but after about five minutes, Dina was startled awake, feeling wetness trail down her legs. She sat up rather quickly, as quickly as she could, anyway, and Ellie turned to her with a confused and slightly concerned expression. 

"Do you need to use the bathroom again?" Ellie asked, ready to get up and assist her girlfriend. Dina shook her head, her eyes having widened ever so slightly, cheeks flushed, and heart rate steadily increasing. 

"Ellie… I think… I think it's time." Dina said. It took a little bit for the words to register in Ellie's mind, but when they did, she was immediately kicked into action, setting her comic book down and getting out of bed. 

"Okay. Let's get you comfortable, yeah?" She said, peeling away the damp comforter that was on top of Dina. She had Dina lie down a little bit while still staying somewhat upright. Dina instinctively opened her legs, trying to get started on removing her underwear. Ellie helped her, pulling them completely off and discarding them haphazardly. Afterward, Ellie quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, aiding Dina in rolling over so she could place it under her. She had also grabbed scissors and placed them on the nightstand.

Ellie's palms were sweaty. She remembered asking a mother at the baby shower how to prepare for birth, and Ellie tried her best to recall the woman's advice. It was stressful, trying to think while Dina was screaming at the top of her lungs, holding Ellie's hand so hard that her knuckles had turned white as bone. Ellie just tried to be as encouraging as possible, keeping her tone of voice even and steady throughout the whole process. 

Eventually, the room was no longer being filled with Dina's cries of pain but instead her labored breaths and the shrill sound of a baby crying. Their child had finally entered the world.

Dina, with tear streaked cheeks, immediately reached out for her child. Ellie held him briefly, smiling so hard her cheeks were growing sore. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in this ugly, ugly world. Ellie made quick work of cutting the umbilical cord before carefully handing him to Dina.

"Hello handsome." Dina spoke softly, grinning tiredly. Ellie was overjoyed at the sight in front of her. They were mothers now. For Ellie, this was the most nervous she had ever been. Not even fighting hordes of infected had her this scared. But she was also excited to step into this new era of her life. She knew that motherhood was going to be a bumpy ride, but so long as Dina was with her, she knew that she'd get through all of the trials and tribulations just fine. 

"I think I've got a name." Dina said, bringing Ellie out of her thoughts.

Ellie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Whatcha got?" She replied, a small smirk resting on her lips.

"How does JJ sound?" Dina asked. Ellie's smirk grew into a wide smile of approval.

"I like that. Suits him perfectly." She said. 

After JJ was born, life for the two new mothers definitely became more hectic. 

JJ would start crying late at night, and Ellie, wanting her beloved girlfriend to get all of the sleep she could get, was always the one who got up to calm him down. She would gently bounce him, humming some random tune to get him to relax, before lying him back in his crib. Ellie missed out on a few hours of sleep because of this, but she didn't mind it one bit if it meant Dina would wake up well rested (sometimes, though, Dina would pretend to sleep just to hear Ellie sing).

Feeding JJ could be nightmarish too. He was a picky eater sometimes, and would throw food on the floor or spit it out onto his bib, causing Ellie to roll her eyes and Dina to giggle at the sight. Dina was definitely more patient when it came to JJ but she knew Ellie would get there – slowly, but surely. 

Changing diapers was mostly a Dina thing until Ellie got the hang of it. Before, she would always put them on backwards, much to Dina's confusion. 

Aside from all of the difficulties, there were plenty of joyous moments that the two mothers shared with their son. Often, Ellie would play guitar for him. Whenever Ellie was out hunting, or doing some general sweeps around the outer perimeter of the house, Dina would spend that time coloring with him, or playing with wooden shapes. She tried to get him to participate in activities that would not only be fun for him but educational as well. If Dina was busy, Ellie loved to (carefully) run around the house with JJ on her shoulders, his contagious laughter bouncing off of the walls. 

At night, Ellie and Dina loved to read him bedtime stories, both playing multiple characters and doing the silliest voices they could come up with until JJ slowly drifted away into a peaceful slumber. 

The both of them would then climb into bed together, exchanging "I love yous," after which Dina would continue to read her parenthood guidebooks and Ellie would begin yet another chapter of Savage Starlight, the both of them sitting in a comfortable silence.

[thecoffeelorian]

Fandom Friday, 3/21: Fanart!

Hello again, everyone…and welcome to another installment of Fandom Friday, the somewhat regular series where I go off to find new and interesting fanworks that might need a bit more visibility.

Before we begin, however...I wonder if I might ask you all a quick question, because I'm seeing posts going around BlueSky on this subject and now I'm genuinely curious:

Is there anyone here who might be going to the Star Wars Celebration in Tokyo, Japan next month?

I'm kinda asking this question because 1, I'm not following "The Bad Place" any more, aka the site formerly known as Twitter, and 2, it might be kinda cool to know who's attending so that I could help reblog/quote their posts elsewhere. So! If this might describe you in any way, just drop a blurb in the reblogs or comments, and I'll be sure to give you a little boost.

And now, without any further delays, here are my picks of the week.

THE CLONE WARS

The Clone Wars Fanart--By @liontalon1:

The Clone Wars Fanart--By @flower-crowned-prince:

THE BAD BATCH

The Bad Batch Fanart--By @kaijusplotch:

The Bad Batch Fanart--By @flightysparrow:

ANDOR

Andor Fanart--By @ems-art-box:

Andor Fanart--By @meigalorian:

SKELETON CREW

Skeleton Crew Fanart--By @dragon-64:

Skeleton Crew Fanart--By @kick-girl:

THE SEQUELS

The Sequels Fanart--By @sigmabeggers:

The Sequels Fanart--By @reimikuu39:

In conclusion, as part of my mission to poke around the Star Wars fandom and highlight those artists who might otherwise go unnoticed…I hope you will check out the links I have included for yourselves and like, comment on, and reblog them, as well as also giving the artists a few more followers to their Tumblr pages.

Please also like and reblog this latest installment so that these links can be spread around to as many other fans as possible, just in case not all of them can tune in at the same time.

An additional thank you goes to @djarrex for making the divider I used earlier in this post, but still want to give credit for.

If anybody likes what they see here AND would enjoy seeing more posts like this; please drop the rock star emoji (👩‍🎤) into the comments or reblogs, and I’ll be sure to tag you when the next update comes.

And finally, so that I do not forget…thank you, stay safe, and I’ll see you in the next post!

No Pressure Tags: @melymigo @algo-o-nada @the-osborn-way @everybirdfellsilent @skellymom

@leos-multifandom-corner @maggie-dylan @leenathegreengirl @gun-roswell @tazmbc1

@bluedeedeedoop @its-time-to-rise-above @tlmtwelve @apocalyp-tech-a 

@aknightreaderr and anybody else who might be on the lookout for new SW fanart.

[trippygalaxy]

UHM! HI this is just gonna be me rambling about some of my mutuals cause I cherish them all and everything they've done for me

no i will not be tagging them, the tumblr gods will decide if they find this or not

.

.

.

Cal, gods I have so much to say about them but they could honestly be their own post by themselves /pos. I -genuinely- wouldn't be here today if it wasnt for them, so many times have they unknowingly helped me out of horrible places in my life, and I could never put my love for them into words no matter how many poems i write in their honour. They are one of the best friends ive ever had in my life, they are the most genuine, selfless, precious people ive had the pleasure of knowing.

Maj- oh i miss talking to him so much you dont understand!!! I love love loved sending them silly stories in her askbox, their way of thinking and breaking down stories were the most delicious things! Not only that but the art??? Their ocs always enticed me and i would willing sit down and listen to them talk about them for hours if i could. They are FUCKING HALRIOUS TOO!!! They've -without even trying- have given me so many belly laughs when i needed that the most.

But i seem them in their new fandom with other moots and im so happy shes having fun /gen

GASP! MY SPOUSE!!! Fir! UGH i love them so much /p They are so encouraging, and they help me so much when it comes to stories and figuring stuff out- and they WROTE SO MUCH FOR ME???? IM SO GREATFUL FOR EVERYTHING THEY'VE MADE AND DONE FOR ME AND I WISH I COULD REPAY IT BACK 10 FOLDS! I feel so free when speaking with them, like im able to be a part of me where i cant with others and its- its so relieving.

Vaati- a genuine inspiration. I was a HUGE fan of his shifting sands series when I found it on instagram and when i say HE MOVED TO TUMBLR?! I WAS FUCKING ESTATIC!!!! Also very worried that his art got stolen but it was clear it wasnt- ANYWAYS! When I first found him, i was so ready to just give up on art -before my digital art era- because when i stared at my art all i saw was bland strokes of a pencil that could never be compared to what others had made, but when I found his comic that was FULLY TRADTIONAL I was stunned. I showed it to everyone I knew, whether they knew loz/lu or not, i needed them to see the talent and beauty I found. And he was the beginning of me starting to relearn to love traditional art again, and how much more beautiful it was to me compared to any digital piece

ARIA!!! I was in awe of her cute style- and i saw her make art for Sacred realm and i was HOOKED! Genuinely, I was like 'oop- have to be friends with her now' and though we dont talk that much, im constantly impressed with her growth even when she thinks its trash. That girl has SO much potential, and im estatic to see what she does with it. OH AND THE ART SHES MADE FOR FAROLA?! **MWAH!!!** Honestly she made me love Farola again-

Major, an unrated GEM, one of the most encouraging, heartfelt and creative person ive met on this site. She is, and will always be, someone I look to when I need a push or when im unsure about doing something (like this!) cause I know that she will never cease her amazing ability to encourage and inspire those around her.

Finky and Isa- some of the most iconic styles ive seen, its amazing to see them grow and keep their styles while still improving. AND THE AMOUNT OF ART AND IDEAS THEY MAKE??? Im stunned by how quick they are able to make their art and STILL HAVE IT BE AMAZING QUAILTY?! Witch craft I tell you!

Shade and Mossy, two people I sadly dont talk to much anymore, but were apart of one of the most important parts of my life so far. Both were such positive lights that kept pushing even when they got pulled back by others. Idk if its their stubbornness or determination that keeps them going, but whatever they have, I want it!

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Hello! I was wondering if I could request Wrecker x reader where they sneak off really late at night for a cute little walk because they haven't been getting enough alone time. And it's a new relationship, so everything's still all cute and giggly. Maybe they think they are being quiet when they are sneaking back in, but something funny happens and reader is like dieing laughing and Hunter walks in like wtf is going on. Idk, feel free to ignore. Ily ♡

Warnings and Information: No real age warning for this one. 2nd person POV, undescribed Reader that can be read as gender neutral. Little sprinkling of Mando'a. Minor language (everyone say "thank you, Crosshair!"). It’s all the giddiness of a new(ish) relationship with the powerhouse of Clone Force 99 that is Wrecker. 🩷 Impromptu date late at night. Decided on a Modern!AU for this one where (most of) the Bad Batch work as a construction crew, and there's a few cameos of other Clones too. Hope you enjoy what I came up with! 

Word-count: 4,544

Setting your bag down on the welcome mat, you thread your house key into the lock with an eager sigh. You're pretty tired. You finally have a free night, thankfully, and you've been away from home all day. 

You're looking forward to just vegging out on the couch to catch the season finale of your favorite show for the next hour and crawling into bed as soon as you finish trawling the 'net for other people's impressions of the finale. There's a lot of speculation regarding the dashing rogue of the series, and whether or not they'll finally pluck up the courage to share this big secret the show writers have been dangling over the fans. You just hope some news article doesn't show up in your social media feed only to come along and spoil it in the headline. 

"People really need to learn to tag their kriffing spoilers… It's not that hard." 

You bump the door open and hoist the bag back over your shoulder just as someone calls out your name. 

"H-hey! Wait up!" 

You pause in the entryway, cheeks pinching with a large smile. "Hey Wrecker." The way he's doubled over, hands pressed into his knees while he pants for air, you can guess Wrecker had likely jogged over to your place from his. He lives not too far from you, and it's a jog he's made several times before, but it has been a slightly warmer than average day that has only just begun to cool off in the last few hours. Tech, one of Wrecker's brothers, calls the phenomenon the "heat island" something or other. Effect? (If that wasn't right that sounded close enough.) "You okay? Here, come on in. Would you like some water?" 

"B-but- Weren't you jus' leaving?" Wrecker manages between slowing pants. He used the edge of his sleeve to mop the sweat from his brow once he's upright, fixing you with a woozy smile when you hook your fingers around his own and lead him inside. "Oh, no, I just got home, actually. How come?" You fill a glass from the cold tap and rummage around the freezer for some ice to make it a little more refreshing. Wrecker just ran so hot sometimes you were surprised he didn't pass out on some of his job sites as a construction worker. 

"I- oh, thanks, cyare." Wrecker greedily gulps down a few mouthfuls of water to relieve himself of his thirst, careful not to spill down his front or all over your kitchen floor. 

The intimacy of the pet name makes your ears flush with warmth, and your cheeks pinch a little more with a tender smile. "You're welcome." 

The worst of his thirst now quelled, Wrecker could explain why he thought he had caught you leaving the house. "I, uh, I came over to ask if you wanted to go do something. Together. Jus' the two of us. Worried that I got off work too late or took too long to clean up a bit and I caught you about to leave. I know it's nearly eleven, but it's been a while since we had a moment to spend time together… just to ourselves." There was good reason for the emphasis on the last three words. In the infancy of your relationship with Wrecker, you have only had one date together that wasn't interrupted in some way by his job, or one of your day to day priorities, or one of his brothers. 

You liked his brothers well enough thus far, but sometimes they really needed to learn when to butt out. Or what was appropriate for company. 

"Wrecker, have you seen my live specimen?"

"Hunter! One of Tech's kriffing specimens got loose again! Can't find the damn thing!" 

"Oh Maker…"

"L-let's leave, cyare. It's not a dangerous specimen or nothing, but it's jus' creepy." 

You smiled at Wrecker, and to him, those smiles could have thawed out an ice planet like Hoth twelve times over. Smiles that could get Crosshair, even in his most sour of moods, to return the gesture even for a fleeting moment. "Time just to ourselves sounds very, very nice… What'd you have in mind? I'm down for anything." The minute you pulled him across the welcome mat you decided you wouldn't mind watching the final episode of the season another time. Wrecker was here, and by happy coincidence, your schedules were completely free for the weekend. You could stay up as late as you liked.

"You wanna go for a bite? Or maybe go take a walk?" Wrecker offers. You like the idea of a casual walk, now that it's cooler. You glance at your footwear, a pair of sandals, and think for a moment it'll be smart to put on a pair of closed-toed shoes. "A walk sounds nice," you reply brightly, "You wanna go… uh, how about by the lake in the park?" 

Wrecker grins at the idea. He's got such an infectious smile that gives you butterflies in the pit of your stomach and a booming, boisterous laugh that you just loved. "Sure, tha' sounds nice! Been meaning to go see it one'a these days, but I'm busy helpin' my brothers with work most of the week." He'd love to go check it out with you, he says. 

Going to the lake took you past Wrecker's house, all dark save for two windows. Tech's, of course, and you believe the second is another brother of Wrecker's who's moved in only recently. 

You haven't had the opportunity to meet him yet. You hope to, one day, when he's ready. 

"He's… been through a lot. One'a our other brothers thought it might be a good idea if he came and lived with us for a bit. Quieter. Less people." 

"How many brothers do you have, Wrecker?" 

He had laughed, scratching nervously around the back of his head with a great shrug. "I dunno, honestly. I have a lot of brothers. But, I get along best with Hunter, Tech and Cross… So I hope I get along with Echo too." 

"I'm sure you will, Wrecker. You're friendly and kind and sweet… a-and um…" Your mouth had gotten away from you, then. You had only been friends back then, and you'd slowly grown closer, grown feelings for this gentle giant. You were that close to blurting out that you thought he was handsome, cute even, down to the scar and replacement eye that was a result of an accident on one of his very first job sites. He had said your name with that same jovial laugh and winning smile and, jokingly, asked, "What? You gonna say I'm cute or somethin'?" 

That's all it took. Just a few months later, here the two of you were, playfully bumping into one another as you entered the park hand-in-hand, making jokes and laughing together. 

"No-no-no, that's not what the joke means!" you insisted, feeling the ache in your sides growing the more you laughed until you were nearly breathless. "You realize Cross is messing with you, right?" 

"Yeah, 'course I do!" he replies, "But so am I! It's jus' how the two'a us are. It's a lot of fun to purposely misunderstand a joke and see how long it takes before Tech can't take it anymore. Our record was two hours. Hunter even joined in!" 

"But I thought he hated it when you and Cross goofed off on your job sites." 

Wrecker grins through mischievous laughter. "Naaah. Hunter goofs off on job sites just as much as us when we can get away with it, but he's more… subtle about it. Unless he wants to show off to our older brother Cody. He's a contractor and the one who suggested the job to us; so we try an' behave a little more than usual when he comes to check on how construction is going." Wrecker explains. They've been part of the crew who initially came in to renovate some very old apartment buildings here in this little, growing city, but overnight the sign that had previously said "RENOVATIONS UNDERWAY" for the first few weeks became "DEMO AND REBUILD". Now you know why; Cody's the one who made the call on that, and you wonder why the sudden change. 

"Oh, huge infestation that went untreated for too long. I don't remember what Tech calls them or what they are, but Cody said it was gonna be better to scrap everything and build fresh. I ain't complaining!" 

That was something you appreciated Wrecker for. He complained about very little. He was often optimistic and in high spirits. Happy to do almost anything he was asked so long as he was with his brothers and didn't have a want of food. All that manual labor makes a person hungry, so it doesn't surprise you to find him snacking on something if he's left to his own devices and the thought comes over him. 

Actually, in fact, you hadn't just walked past his house on the way to the park: you briefly came inside so he could throw a few things into the cooler bag he takes to his job sites (he, Hunter and Cross bounced between at least two or three sites if Cody needed a few more hands for something on a particular day) and have a little picnic on the grass with you. You both took care to be quiet so as not to disturb his brothers. Wrecker did however bump into Crosshair in the kitchen, who took one look in the lunch bag and said "Unless you plan on drinking that kriffing disgusting lake water, I suggest you take something to drink, too." before he snatched a few slices of cold pizza from a box in the fridge and shuffled off. 

Not much of a talker, Crosshair. But that's okay. 

"How's this for a spot?" you ask, coming across a bench after walking roughly one half of the man-made lake. Walking and talking with Wrecker was enjoyable, the late-summer air carried by a gentle breeze across the water was cool and soothing here. Not too far from the water's edge, and you could hear some of the lake life, little frogs, croaking and singing in the reeds and lily pads from here. Wrecker nods approvingly, setting down the cooler bag. "Perfect! Here, made this for you. Sorry if it's a little smushed or if I forgot a condiment." 

He offers you a brown paper bag, and inside, you find your favorite sandwich you often throw together when you need a quick bite to eat. "Aww, you made this for me? Wrecker that's so sweet of you, thank you." You bite into it with eager anticipation, and it's definitely the way you like it. "Oh Maker," you moan blissfully, chewing slowly to savor it, "that's a good sandwich." Wrecker smiles bashfully as he takes a seat beside you on the bench, unwrapping his own sandwich. 

"Did I-?"

"No, not a single missing condiment." you tell him. Shyness and uncertainty turn to pride for the man beside you. 

"Oh, good! I made it kinda quick-like from memory so we could get goin' without bothering my brothers." He takes a bite of his own sandwich, and allows himself to chew thoroughly before he speaks again. "I, uh, I make everyone's lunch in the mornings. Except for Tech's sometimes, he's pretty particular about what he takes to his lab." 

You think back to what Tech's job is, but the proper name for it escapes you. "He works in the… preservation department at the local museum, right?" 

Wrecker bobs his head as he takes another bite of his sandwich, smaller this time. "Yeah. Works in at least three labs. Real smart. Like scary smart. He'd get bored if he worked in just one lab. And because I don't remember what lab he goes to on what days, he and I agreed it'd be best for him to make his own lunches most days. Oh, I almost forgot! Here!" He reaches into the cooler bag again and pulls out one of your favorite, non-alcoholic, bottled beverages. "That's for you. Can't have a proper picnic without something to drink." 

Wrecker's attention to detail, his memory of things he's learned about you only very recently, it all makes you feel giddy and warm inside that he's so incredibly attentive to your likes and dislikes. Other romantic partners, whether they had been potential or well and truly established, had not been quite so aware like Wrecker. What had taken others five months or more to remember that you did not like on your pizza, Wrecker had remembered in just five days. 

Hunter had called your name from the kitchen, ready to place an order from a little place new to town called Gregor's Grub-hub and asked what toppings you liked on your pizza, apologizing for not remembering what you had taken from the assortment of pizzas the crew offered to share with you when you stopped by Wrecker's job site to return the comically oversized jacket he loaned you. 

"That's okay, I remember!" Wrecker had declared from the couch as the two of you sat together, trying (and failing) to take this board game seriously. It was just so much more fun to bend the rules or try stacking all the game pieces. Whatever silly idea possessing the pair of you was swiftly entertained. 

It was just so easy to have fun with Wrecker. He found joy in the little things. And he cared so deeply about his brothers. He cared so deeply about you. 

You crack open the bottle, and together the two of you mock-toast to this late-night, lakeside summer picnic the pair of you took on a whim. You're so glad to be out here with him. Just the two of you in the light of the full, silver moon hung in the sky above this beautiful park, serenaded by the frogs and distant cicadas in the trees.

"Thanks Wrecker. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Wrecker laughs brightly, the sound as bubbly as the lapping waves of water against the shore, and as distinct as the ping from the phone in your pocket as your phone begins to blow up with news about the final episode of the season you originally planned to watch tonight. (Damn. Maybe the dashing rogue will pluck up the courage next season.) You can't even be mad about the spoilers. 

You're enjoying this rare evening together with Wrecker far, far too much to be annoyed about that. 

"Nice night for a date…" you murmur fondly, leaning into Wrecker's side as you sit on the bench and eat some of the other snack foods out of the cooler bag now that the two of you have finished your sandwiches. "... thanks for the late, lakeside picnic, Wrecker." You giggle softly when he shyly asks if you're okay with a little kiss on the cheek. He kisses the top of your head for good measure as well, emboldened by the smiles and giggles. "Yer welcome. We should do this more often." he says, looking out over the glimmering water with you. 

You should do this more often. Maybe the next time you come here, you can take him here in the sunlight and come feed the waterfowl on a day that his brothers could get by without his help. Crosshair didn't need help the clambering up onto the scaffolding so he could do his job as a roofer, but he often let Wrecker help him because it eased his brother's fear of heights, or the fear that Cross was going to fall from the scaffolding again after a really nerve-wracking incident, more rather. 

A strong gust of wind had ripped through the construction site before the structure had been secured against the frameworks, and his brother had lost his balance. Wrecker had been there to catch him in the nick of time. 

"Maybe it gets under my skin a little that my brothers make fun of me for my fear of heights," Wrecker admitted somberly to you in private shortly after the scare. "But I'd never willingly let my brothers fall. I'll always be there to catch them… if I can." 

Once the two of you have finished most of the food from the cooler bag, you diligently pack away all of your trash until you pass by another trash can. "Let's finish walking around the rest of the lake. Then let's maybe call it a night." you suggest. It's too nice a night not to. You just hope the city police don't come along and spoil the moment by suggesting that you need to leave, since park lock-up happens at 12:30. It's only midnight, and the rest of the lake won't take long to walk at a decent pace. 

Common opinion is that some of the force can be overly stern, even how the chief of police is characterized as "heartless", but you've come to understand that these officers with red police cruisers (an unusual color choice) are decent men. They're just chronically overworked. You feel for them, now. They're only doing their jobs, however unpopular it might be. 

Thankfully, where you'll complete your full circuit of the lake with Wrecker is not too far from one of these entrance and exit gates that are found along the wall of the gated park. 

Joking and laughing with Wrecker once again puts a pep in your step, now that the two of you are comfortably full and content with the late-night meal. 

Wrecker suggests walking a little closer to the water, just before you leave. Give the lake a closer look, maybe see if he can't get a picture of one of the frogs for Tech. "He could probably tell us all about 'em! Tech loves that kinda stuff… sharing what he learns with people." Wrecker says with a grin as he quickly snaps a photo of a plump frog resting on a lilypad. He's carefully crouched on the edge of the bank in order to get it. You creep down closer to the waterline so you can take his phone for him so he can use both hands to pull himself back up the slightly steep bank. The water is deep here, and you're both hoping to avoid falling in.

"Here, I got it." you offer, holding out your hand. 

You slip on a slick patch of grass and mud as you collect his phone, and as luck would have it, the sandal slips off as you stumble and it falls into the lake with a splash.

Wrecker had caught you before you fell in as well. "Gotcha, cyare! Are you okay?" 

"I'm f-fine," you assure him with a tiny stammer, glad you hadn't dropped his phone or fallen in. "Just lost my shoe. Thanks for catching me." 

"Of course, cyare. Didn't think I'd only be there to catch just my brothers, didja?" He's teasing, of course, but the question makes you flush. No, of course you didn't think that. 

Wrecker peers down into the water, trying to see if he could spot your sandal. Man, why didn't you change into something with laces? You'd thought about it and everything, but you were just so excited about spending time with Wrecker that you dashed out the door without giving it a second thought… 

A car door closes in the distance. It sounds like it's from a car parked near the gate. Uh oh. What time is it? 

"Wrecker, we need to go, I think the-" 

He's up to his elbow in the lake water, carefully swishing his arm around while seeing if he can't find your shoe. "Just a second, I'll find your shoe and then we can go cyare." Wrecker promises, trying to settle your nerves. He's so focused on being sweet and helpful that he doesn't hear or notice the officer starting down the path. 

"Wrecker, c'mon, it's okay. It's just a cheap little sandal, we really should go!" 

The way Wrecker is hunched over the water on his hands and knees in the dim light of the moon, the officer mistakes the position for a starting dive and he calls out in warning. "Hey-! There's no swimming in the lake!" 

Wrecker falls in with a great splash, startled. He surfaces shortly, the water up to his chest. Okay, maybe the water wasn't as deep as you thought. "I'm okay!" Wrecker splutters, coughing up lake water. "I found your sandal!" 

You turn to the officer now standing on the edge of the lake, glowering down disappointedly at Wrecker. "I'm so sorry, sir," you say, "he was just trying to get my shoe and then I think you startled him an- O-oh, Officer Fox! I didn't realize it was you, I'm so sorry!" Fox didn't realize it was you, either, turns out. He speaks your name with great surprise, then takes another look at the sopping wet figure carefully climbing out of the water with your wet, muddy shoe in hand. "Wrecker?"

"Yup!" 

Officer Fox removes his peaked cap and scratches his salt-and-pepper hair with a weary sigh. "... I thought the two of you were a couple of kids or something. Got a call from a "concerned citizen" about some "hooligan youth" in the park. Some busybody of an old man who's constantly inventing problems for me because he has his mind made up that I don't have enough to do…" 

You grimace sympathetically. "Mr. Sheev, again?"

"That old bat's still alive?" Wrecker asks disbelievingly. No one's quite sure how old Mr. Sheev is, but he looks like he's been dodging the grim reaper longer than it should be natural. 

There's a mutter from Officer Fox that sounds a lot like the word unfortunately before the cap is replaced and he has to do his job. 

"C'mon… park's locking up for the night, soon. And since you're wet," he nods to Wrecker, "and you're half barefoot," Officer Fox nods to you this time, "I'll give you a lift in the cruiser." 

Officer Fox takes you both back to Wrecker's place, watching the two of you from the car as you're huddled on the porch, wrestling with the ring of house keys. Darn things seem to make themselves invisible or slippery when they get the slightest inkling that you might be in a hurry to get inside. 

Wrecker says he'll have to mop up the water in a second, trying and failing at threading his house key into the lock with shaky fingers. Lake water was cold and he was soaked to the bone trying to do a kind thing by retrieving your sandal for you. 

Fox, the chief of police for the city, calls from the cruiser that Wrecker better get into some dry clothes soon, and not to feel bad about getting the seats wet. "Shit like this happens more than you think. I gotta ask Cody if he's the guy I gotta talk to about getting a proper walking path around the lake… as soon as I'm done with all this other kriffing paperwork. Goodnight." You help Wrecker get the key into the door and thank him for the lift. "You too, Officer Fox! Thank you again!" 

As the two of you try to squeeze inside, someone knocks over the coatrack bearing three high-vis vests and a crisp lab coat. "Whoops!" Oh stars, that clatter was sure to wake someone up… It was nearly one in the morning now. 

Wrecker's foot slips in the growing puddle of water, and trying to help him, or make sure that he's okay, you yourself trip over the coat rack and fall on top of him with a yelp. Once again, he breaks your fall, and tries to break the nervous tension with a corny joke after you both frantically apologize to one another. 

"Guess we're a couple'a angels if we keep fallin' for one another, huh, cyar'ika?" 

You can't help it. The joke is so silly and undeniably sweet coming from someone like Wrecker that if the coat rack, and then the two of you falling over and on top of one another didn't wake Wrecker's brothers, your laugh certainly would have. Four pairs of feet plod down the stairs at varying speeds, Hunter the fastest. He's fresh out of bed in nothing but a pair of red and black boxers, face wracked with confusion. Wrecker is soaking wet and smells like algae. And you're now damp after having landed on top of him. Hunter was told the two of you were just going for a walk, how the hell did his brother and his date end up getting wet?

"The kriff are you two doing on the floor?" Crosshair yawns from up the stairs. 

"And why are you wet?" 

You smile apologetically up at Hunter, "Wrecker fell in the lake trying to get my shoe for me. I was trying to keep his phone dry after he took a picture of a frog for Tech and-" Your eyes dart further up the stairs when you hear Tech excitedly ask "A frog?" from behind Cross, and you spot the brother who must be Echo behind him. He's a little paler and his face is gaunt compared to the others. He looks rather disoriented and anxious after you probably woke him up so unexpectedly. 

"Oh… hello there; are you Echo?" 

He nods timidly. "I am. And you are…?" He seems surprised to hear you know his name, but he doesn't seem to recognize you. You wait as he carefully makes his way down the stairs, one step at a time. The horrible accident Echo had suffered from was some time ago, but three of his limbs haven't quite been the same since. Minor weakness and numbness, to your memory. You waited until he was closer to put out the appropriate hand to introduce yourself with a polite smile. "Nice to meet you. Officially." Echo manages apologetically. "Sorry, guess I didn't recognize you because I've only ever heard Wrecker talk about the person he's started dating." 

You smile reassuringly at Echo, and flash Wrecker a cheeky look when you hear he's been talking about you to his brothers. You're sure he would look just as flushed as you if the light from the kitchen wasn't so dim. 

"I'll get a mop and clean up the water," Wrecker promises Hunter when his brother takes a look at the floor by the front door after Wrecker picks up his cooler bag and dumps all the trash into the kitchen's garbage can. 

Hunter shrugs lazily. "Nah, don't bother. You two should go shower or something. I'll take care of it. Besides falling in the lake - apparently - was your walk nice?" 

"Oh yeah!" Wrecker says with a giant grin that you return when you share a look. "I think the two of us might do it again soon. This time without losing any shoes." 

You can only nod and laugh softly in agreement. The next time you go on one of these late-night walks with Wrecker, if this becomes a regular thing in your relationship, you are definitely going to start wearing better shoes with laces.

Note from Frost: The idea of Palpatine being a nosy cranky senior citizen who calls the police over "hooligan youths" having fun came out of nowhere but it tickled me too much not to include it lmao. (Poor Commander Fox...)

[Masterlist] [TBB Masterlist] [Requests: OPEN]

[knowlessman]

"I'm sure it's hard for the white house to act with our own country in danger" oh shit they're bringin 'murica into this now, and maybe other players? …bnha s7e1-4

also tho "it's hard for america to decide to involve itself with another country" somebody doesn't know what the CIA actually does and what our threshold for meddling in other countries is

IT'S JANE CENA (hums john cena intro theme)

-- also could swear there's an existing marvel/dc miss america type hero called Star but in what world would that stop this writer

tfw you're a third-string minion and you're hiding alone in a cave with your evil master and he won't shut up and he's making less and less sense

okay who put pajama sam in a suit, I thought he stopped wearing shirts these days

"quirk: new order! when she tags something, she decides what its rules are!" okay maybe this guy does know anything about america at all

-- "is his name not tomura shigaraki?" hehehe she got L'd. not that not knowing a place's or people's real name ever stopped america from forcing whatever rules it wanted. guess she's not so close an analogy after all.

-- (star made herself a Stand out of air and caught him like a bug) yes, I'm sure hitting the big bad with, idk, extreme air pressure? and lasers, and very big missiles, will finish the job in the first couple episodes of the final season.

all for one was going on about "you're Spinner, you spin things together" does spinner have a quirk beyond being a lizard man or not

new OP and ending are okay, no notes

"this is a watershed moment for both of us. this is like… forcing each other to play shitty games!" I have to know what other translations for this line there are. …dammit, this site doesn't have an english dub version. (or I can't find it)

…huh. so he's admitting that that would've killed him. okay now THAT's interesting, he has a limit and it's a known one. …they just gotta do that again and not miss. with extra super-missiles that they probably don't have because they banked em all on this.

-- it is a game, tho, it's an actual game (that the villain is winnin cuz the show ain't over, but he's not winning it through invincibility or by playing cards he wasn't holding, and that's not nothing)

ayup. she's poisoned the vampire. I thought maybe she would just find a way to erase her own quirk before he could take it, but

-- "I don't have anyone to pass New Order onto!" … "my Reflect quirk! it's been destroyed!" well DAYUM, I was just thinking how this arc was actually pretty cool even tho it didn't seem to be adding anything that'd stick, but

-- …so, he found someone to shove new order onto, but Star's ghost had more words for him, so I'm not totally sure whether the transfer, like, worked. it sounded like he just didn't get to steal the rando's quirk, but idk

"we've captured gigantomachia and kept him asleep" uh-huh. yeah. sure. he's totally not gonna get back up the second mojo jojo decides he's got a use for him. he totally hasn't done that time and time and time again already. he's the juggernaut, he has to be considered "in play" at all times. …he's like Squee, he can be cast from exile

…laserguts?

-- ohhhhh. …wowwwwwwwww holy shit

-- I wasn't even looking out for a mole. 'XD it had well and completely left my brain. reminds me of when the finale for scooby-doo get a clue revealed that trebla was albert and I felt the stupidest a show has ever made me feel (tbf one is not exactly looking out for subterfuge while watching that show, it is an exceptionally stupid installment of the franchise)

-- "uhhh I heard from hagakure" DEKU YOU FUCKING SNITCH HOW EVEN… HOW IS THAT THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH I'm fuckin dyin here 'XD what the fuck

-- ("my body refracts light" so blocking aoyama's laser makes hagakure's face partly visible for the first time) …huh. … "and because this writer is The Way He Is I'm also nekkid but somehow he's restraining himself from acknowledging that because this is just that important a scene"

uhhh yeah more double agents, that panned out so well the first - …okay actually I don't remember the full details of that well enough to say it didn't pan out at all so nvm

"hey, hey. a crime is a crime, you know" shut up mic nobody likes your fashy ass

-- "it's partly our fault for not catching him" you aren't making any more sense than mic right now iida but go off

("we gotta get our gear repaired") "they were a prototype from overseas" I've already forgotten whether it was melissa's actual canon gauntlets that he got tbph

ayup. stopping for now cuz I gotta leave for work in a few hours. will post these sometime today ig

[endless-hourglass]

i love (/sarc) how there's so little safe space for CDD systems.

Tumblr? Syscourse left and right, and if you don't like it? Might as well leave because half the time it's not fucking tagged.

Twitter? I don't know whats it's like on there and I don't even think I want to!

Tiktok? So rabid with fakeclaiming and drama it's genuinely unsafe.

YouTube? Any system who dare to have a channel is someone you can't search up withing a "[channel] fake proof" autofill or pages or videos calling out their every flaw

IRL? HAH good fuckin LUCK.

???

Personal venting below the cut

Tiktok and YouTube are the examples that make us sick to our stomach the hardest. Amnesia makes it hard to assume but I'm pretty sure online system spaces played a huge part in our so called "system reset" (a period of all previously existing alters dissociating themselves and their identities into fuckall until we could accept ourself again). We didn't have any space to exist as a system irl, so what could we find online? Even with the more casual system yt channels, ones that made us feel safe and seen as someone who can just live life, there's a suffocating weight in trying to watch them as everywhere around you is people trying to shove proof in your face of everyone malingering. Truth is, I've hardly ever watched these proof videos because idk it's...clear that most of the time those videos aren't for the community, they're ammunition suppliers.

Maybe you decide "YouTube feels too detattched from the community, maybe something like tiktok would be more engaging." Bitch the only difference is that you feel more personally involved and people aren't always going game theory on their fakeclaiming. Instead there's weekly drama, "system red flag lists", a restraining fear of being posted to hateful cringe sites for literally anything, and AGAIN hurt and hate everywhere you fucking turn!

And I know maybe I should just "touch grass and interact with REAL systems if I want community so badly", but please enlighten me as to how I, a minor-bodied undiagnosed system, am supposed to effectively achieve that. Not to say it's impossible to have irl system friends, but I have none currently and no way to actively seek them out. I shouldn't be denied community for the crime of wanting it.

And I fear that this post will be met with someone telling me I'm too young for online system spaces. First off, you don't know my exact age, you honestly in the grand scheme of things don't know anything about me. Secondly, I do have a good understanding of online safety as far as I can tell. Thirdly, you think I don't think about that? In fucking system spaces you think I don't carefully evaluate my participation and inclusion and stuff? I'm practically forced to if I want to keep my wits about me! Fourthly, as I just fucking said, I shouldn't be denied community for the crime of wanting it.

[lulu-balu]

Booooy howdy here's a bit of a doozy. Where do I begin!

Well I chose my old username back in mid 2017 when I was a wee lass writing silly fics on fanfiction.net. I chose it because it was Italian for "You are beautiful", because 1) I'm half Italian and 2) I thought it was sweet and wholesome.

To start: as I said above, I'm half Italian. That's because I'm Italian-American, that side of the family *has* been for quite a few generations now and they absolutely fit ALL the stereotypes you could think of when you hear "Italian-American". Stupidly proud of their heritage, and usage of silly botched up slang all while knowing little to no actual Italian. I know some stuff mainly through osmosis but yea. I definitely can't speak the language and I'll admit I simply do not have the brain power to memorize another language. I tried it with Spanish in high school already and it didn't go very well LOL

So yeah. I was one of "those" people as a teen. Idk why, it's stupid and I'm simply not like that anymore! So that's the biggest reason, but it's also not the only reason.

Number two is simplicity. Seeing that it's a common Italian phrase it's no surprise that "Sei Bellissima" straight up is taken across different sites, leading me to have to make some funky additions so that I can make accounts on there. This can lead to some confusion. Not to mention those additions can make the username long as hell in general and a pain to type out. So I went for a shorter name that will still be easier to remember, even in the cases where additions are necessary.

And uhh regarding the "Sweet and wholesome" thing- I still try to be positive where I can, but I've been through the wringer a *lot* since then and I simply do not have as much happy energy as I did back then. Believe me, it's sad and I really had no idea what was coming for me at the time but- being that overtly positive all the time definitely drained me a lot more than necessary. I guess that's another reason for a change; it all just didn't fit who I am anymore.

So yeah, to put it all simply: it doesn't represent the kind of person I perceive myself to be today, so I decided it was time for a change. As for my decision-making process behind that change?

Lulubalu is pronounced "loo-loo-buh-loo" and is derived from the word "hullabaloo", which is a word used to refer to a commotion or fuss over something. I kinda think it fits how I react to things I really enjoy and hyperfixate on; I just go absolutely nuts. Mostly not publicly but uh. Yeah I'm very enthusiastic sdfjkhsk

The "Lulu" part is just because I like that name and the way it sounds when spoken. It isn't even my real name I just like it a lot lol. Speaking of. When you wanna speak to me now, you can use "Lulu" to address me

ANYWAY. I'm still me; I've certainly changed a lot over the years and the username change is a nice way to reflect that, I think. All of the stuff I've posted over the years is still here so if you've got anything bookmarked you'll want to update that (I will be changing my art tag to [#lulu's doodles] and will be taking the free time I have to update all the posts skdjfhskj). Buuuut otherwise I think that's it. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and enjoying the stuff I've put out over the years <3

[alegator]

hiii everyone :D i miss tumblr so bad and the ability to make long form blog posts ugh twitter is not the same plus the site and app are literally so shit. even though the tumblr app is not much better sometimes!! ive decided i want to post more on here to continue my little virtual diary…. I love the tagging system and most of all, love being able to look back and read my own updates!!! it’s crazy how it can help me recall the exact feeling of that moment… it feels special :) Twitter is great for quick fleeting thoughts so i wanna make lengthy life posts on here as a little time capsule, so i can have fun looking back and reading all my posts 10 years from now (if this site still exists. but i joined in 2011 and its still here so who knows). plus ive been posting my entire life on here for YEARS so who cares i will be vulnerable and over share and shit!!!!!! as is tumblr tradition… fuck it if youre my cousin on my homestuck side you can have my SSN.

moving on, here are fun life updates:

- celebrated my 11th anniversary on Feb 14th with the love of my life, Tenma!!!! i have been affectionately calling it the 7/11 anniversary since it’s been 11 years together, but also 7 years married 🤯 it actually fucks me up so bad that 2017 was 7 years ago like. genuinely lol FUCKKK HOOWWW 2017 should’ve been like 3 years ago. we choose to get married on the same day Tenma asked me out, which is also Valentine’s Day, and it was the best decision of all time for SO many reasons. maybe i will make a fun big post detailing those thoughts that another time!! we spent our anniversary day trying out a new coffee spot (so cute and SO pink omg), taking photo booth pictures at a new spot, exploring cute shops, and having an insanely delicious set menu i think maybe 6 courses? at a very fancy restaurant. i think 3 years ago we tried a new restaurant on our anniversary w their set Valentine’s Day menu course and it was so good, fun, and the best way to try out new foods so we’ve kept it going and i LOVE IT!!!!! i am already excited to see what tenma picks out for next year lol. finished the night by watching In The Mood For Love at our favorite local movie theater and i LOVED the movie, the whole end until bedtime we were just talking about it and dissecting it together. i love our life!!!!!!!!!

-tenma and i went to disneyland at the end of February for our anniversary trip!! ive gone before but they haven’t. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUN i am not a Disney fan at all but i love disneyland idk it’s just fun as fuck… um my feet were fucked afterwards lol but so worth it. one day at disneyland and the next at California aventure i wanna go back already but most importantly, tenma was already talking about wanting to go back and that makes me so happy bc it means they really enjoyed it!!! yay!!!! they even went on rides they thought were really scary just so we could try them together just once and that filled my heart with joy. then we also got to meet my online friend and had hotpot together. DELICIOUS i want to go back and explore LA next time and see more friends!!!! we are maybe planning a trip to San Fran in a few months though as the consulate is there to get my passport so that will take priority over any other trips☝🏼

-I GOT MY GREENCARD YEAGHHRHRHFJF!!!!!!!! ok actually i got it last year lol i wasn’t sure if i should put that on here but actually im so happy so fuck it!!! and then we celebrated by having a fancy dinner and I shared the news w the waiter who said he also did the same process w his wife! and yes i cried when i got my greencard idc i am HAPPY! crazy bc i got DACA for the first time in 2013 and then in 2023 i got my greencard… it’s been a fucking rollercoaster. and tenmas been there literally every step of the way…. Tenma is my rock I love them so much im crying typing this bc of how much i love them and how much they always support me and augnfngnfmg

-concerts this year have been Sonic symphony, kikuo/bo en/gus, Hannah Diamond, and hatsune miku (mikuexpo 2024)!!!!!!!! i loved all of the concerts genuinely so fun and next month i am taking my youngest sibling to a concert of a guy I don’t know but they love him so we will go and have a blast 🫡 idk if I’ll buy more tickets to more concerts but even if I don’t, it’s been a really really good year concert wise and i got to experience so many fun shows i never thought i would see live before!!

-spent time with lovely friends and celebrated old friendships and new ones yaaaay i love my friends and im blessed to have a good support system and I can’t wait to see what new friends I make in the future….

-I have a cold rn and took nighttime meds and unfortunately they are starting to hit so it’s time to say goodnight to tumblr…

If you read this far ummm ok weirdo… lol just kidding but i will try and post my lil life updates and pics more often so that not all my posts are like. months worth of writing… or maybe I won’t and the next time I make a post will be in a year idk!!!! this site is full of so many memories both good and bad and it’s dear to my lil heart, even if the feel isn’t the same since everyone mass migrated to Twitter, I want to come back here more often and make new memories whenever I can. goodnight 💤

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

thank you for the advice. I will try to find a writing tribe and try to flip my mindset around. I did a lot of writing on ao3, fanfiction.net and inkitt but started on mibba years ago. I ended up deleting my inkitt all together just because in general it’s hard to build a following there and majority of the stories they push are the typical billionaire/mob/mafia/werewolf/plain jane/damsel in distress etc tropes. if I hadn’t heard such horrible things about wattpad’s algorithm, I might’ve tried my luck there.

I know that everyone won’t like what I write, but I had readers telling me they would read whatever I put out and it just didn’t happen. there weren’t too many books about the same topic that I found, and the ones I did find were male centered, and I was trying to do the opposite. I appreciate all the tips and you sharing your experience 💙 I haven’t posted anything for months, but I’ll leave the documents alone now. thank you for taking the time to help me. you’re amazing at what you do which is why I asked you for help. I don’t know if it’s a goal of yours, but I could see your work on the big screen and I hope I do. we need fresh material, and you know how to captivate an audience. if you ever decide to put a price tag on your writing, my coins are ready! have a good night!

I have an A03 and I don’t use it at all lmao the Fanfiction.net however how is that going? I’ve tried to pull up my account to read and it’s weird idk if the site is down or not. Wattpad and I have a bad relationship lmao I had an account on there when I started writing and I had so many followers and so much engagement and somehow it got deleted! So I had to create a new one and I haven’t updated there since. Have you thought about Tumblr? I feel like this is the fastest way to get engagement besides Wattpad.

Awww thanks so much!!!!!!! & the thing with readers you really never truly know their intentions. You can kind of gage what they prefer to read and what they don’t and go from there, but it sucks when you’re trying something new and they don’t reciprocate!

You’re welcome you can talk to me anytime 🩵 & that’s really nice of you to say 😭 I feel like I would have a long way to go with that but it feels good knowing that you guys are so encouraging!

[inklore]

Hey dear! How long since I wrote to you, I don't know if I can ask but could you give me some advice on how to edit/theme/customize your blog in an aesthetic way?

Idk, even basic tips are fine, I really love seeing your blog and I think you have really good taste in aesthetics ❤️

hey lovey! it would be my pleasure to try and help you <3. i say try because my explaining skills are the absolute worst but i will do my best lmao. gonna do this in bullet points ok:

have an idea / inpisration / a crumb of what you want your blog to look like! you can find inspo literally anywhere, a friends blog even (but please remember to always ask and don't take it harshly if said person declines you doing so). pinterest is also amazing for this, looking up graphics, different aesthetics, templates, i literally have a board on my pinterest i've had for years now where i get graphic inspo or where i go when i just need to feed my creative juices to put me in the mood to create something. canva is also great, i literally go on there and look up headers, moodboards, etc and just star them for later. keywords are everything as well, so like 'aesthetic here + color, vibe, look, graphic, template' helps sites like canva and pin lead you in the right direction. same with just typing things like 'green, grunge, lovecore, etc'.

edit on desktop! now i know not everyone has a laptop or ipad or the ability to do this but i highly rec it over editing on the janky mobile app where sometimes things save and sometimes they don't. plus i always use one of the random saved user blogs i have to make a test layout / theme so if i don't like it everything on my main blog is fine, didn't change, and i didn't waste all that time on a theme i don't even want to look at lmao. so making a side blog where you do that is also great cause you can just copy and paste your nav post over, you can take the graphics you've already made and upload them onto your main without second guessing if they look good because you've already seen what it all looks like!

start small! by that i mean start with a simple theme or idea and build up from that. don't just start with seven graphics and ideas and overwhelm yourself. sometimes i just think of a color and be like yeah i'm make something with this color or wrapped around that color and i create something great.

ask a friend for help! i can't tell you how many times i've asked friends if this theme looked good or to send me inspo pics or what theme they think i should do, or even asked them to help me find resources. utilize your besties and mutuals.

not everyones aesthetic is the same! some people like messy themes, some like overdone, some like super simple. don't compare yourself to anyone!!!! everyone creates differently, everyone sees colors and aesthetics amd themes differently. no matter what you decide to go with is all your own and great and special.

etc: putting all your most important links in your nav is always a good rule of thumb (anything you really want to highlight as well), if you use pngs they're all over tumblr and pinterest 'transparent' + 'png' at the end or beginning of what you're looking for will always lead you in the right direction, and when it comes to pngs i highly rec adding them to a white background or transparent one and make the size of the background 500px and move the png halfway / towards the bottom (centered) of the background so tumblr doesn't make your header all the way at the top and ugly, don't make your nav post too long, take colors from your images / aesthetics to incorporate throughout the whole theme so everything meshes well together, don't use flashy dividers because it's not good on a lot of users eyes and unless you state a tw in the tags it's just not as cool as some people think lol.

that's all i can think of but if you have any more questions bby my pms are open!!

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, Im gonna read Queen of the Damned (which I inexplicably keep calling Queen of Darkness??? whatever) this weekend which is definitely sooner than anticipated considering how much the ending of The Vampire Lestat made me not want to continue, but idk, Im in the mood for it now for some reason. But before I do that, I wanted to do a little bit of speculating based on site-statistics

Basically, immediately after finishing The Vampire Lestat I went on ao3 and looked up how many fanfics featured Akasha for reasons that are now unknown to me. I think I wanted to figure out roughly how popular of a character she was within the fandom, or maybe try to gauge how important she would be in the series going forward (which, fanfic statistics are pretty terrible for that, especially when it comes to female characters, but I was beyond thinking at that point), but idk. I saw that there were 66 fanfics tagged as Akasha in them (with the book fandom tag, if you just look up her tag on its own its a bit more) compared the over 3000 fanfics tagged as just Vampire Chronicles, and then I immediately went to bed without thinking about it at all, its like that information just passed through me, and I only ended up remembering it a few days later and I fully realized just how little that is which got me speculating. And obviously I realize that fandoms have a tendency to severely neglect female characters, but ~1.7% is a pretty miserable ratio if shes actually an important character, and its not looking much better on the other fanfic-site I use, Fanfiktion.de, where the ratio is ~2.2 with 2 fanfics out of 89 (although to be fair, their tagging system is less detailed so. there might be a third one that features her but isnt here rn i guess). I was gonna look it up on ff.net as well, but I couldnt find a category for it, theres not even an IWTV movie category, its weird. Anyway, thats enough backstory for my weird actions, lets gets into some Akasha Speculations

1. she DIES in this book, and also, this is admittedly more of a hope than a prediction, she doesnt have a major role in any other books, I just dont like her conceptually at all and I do not want to deal with her more than necessary right now. She could maybe win me over if she turns out to be interesting or just a fun character or a good antagonist, depending on what her role in the story is gonna be, which I dont know yet, my main thing is just that I really really hate that thing where the lives of every vampire are tied to hers and I really really need that to turn out to be irrefutably untrue, and her dying would accomplish that best.

Also obviously her cringefail husband (whose name I cant even remember rn lmao) but this actually leads really nicely into my second speculation-prediction point, which is

2. Akasha KILLED her cringefail husband before emerging from her hole in the ground at the end of the last book, specifically she drank all his blood before setting him on fire or sending him out into the sun so now shes the world's most powerful most psychic vampire and shes gonna be the most biggest threat.

I couldve sworn I had way more speculations, but now that Ive written them down Im realizing that I really just had those two. But to atleast make it an even three and also because it just occurred to me that, if Akasha is this big world-ending threat, its likely not gonna be a thing where Lestat and his trio of fucked up exes are gonna team up against her or whatever. Like, I already know that Lestat is gonna be the pov character for this book as well because I started reading it on the bus and I read the credits and the dedication and all that but then I got to the first sentence and decided that it would be better to read at home instead (i previously briefly suspected that Akasha might be our first person pov for this one and I was really dreading it, so thank god thats not gonna be the case), and he and Akasha have pretty positive feelings towards each other, so I assume that their relationship is gonna play a big part of Queen of the Damnned, so my prediction is

3. Lestat is gonna be Akasha's little boytoy, which is an idea that actually excites me quite a bit. I have a little drawer in my brain where most of my favorite male characters end up thats labeled 'guys that I need to be put in a submissive position' and lets just say, Lestat has earned himself a VIP spot in there. Granted, the 'submissive position' I'd like to see this particular guy in is more along the lines of 'someone ties him up and beats him with a stick sexual style' but him being the submissive little boytoy of an evil living goddess doesnt sound too bad to me

The only thing thats kinda making me doubt that is the fact that I feel like if that was the case then there would be more Akasha in them to bash her and hate on her because she would be seen as "getting in the way" of one of the popular gayguy ships, but idk, I guess most of the fandoms Ive been in previously were centered around kids media or YA media or media thats atleast popular with teens, which might not be the case for this book series since it is adult so maybe this fandom as a whole is a bit more mature ? I dont really know and I guess Im not gonna find out until Im done with the series and start immersing myself in the fandom, which is fine by me. As Ive said in my previous post, I am open to talk to people about these books if anyone else is in the mood for that but Im having a really fun time reading this books without knowing anything so I dont want anyone spoiling anything for me

Anyway, thats the post. Since Im not gonna hunker down in a place with no internet access for 8 hours to read this book, I definitely think Im gonna do a thing where I periodically post my thoughts on here as I read, not after every chapter because that would distract me way too much, but maybe after every section or something. so yeah, if youve enjoyed my thoughts so far be on the lookout for that I guess

[neowinestainedress]

Hello! Inferno girly here.

I was actually talking about a whole new fic. The idea of ghost face woke something in me to be honest cuz honestly I haven't seen many of them and they're something rare for me beside the usual omega verse fics (no offence to those, I love them but I feel like they're so many and a little bit overrated)

I thought about the ghost face to be only a costume and for the break-in plot to be only their way to hide their identity (I have a problem when men have something on their face while doing it(especially those nerdy glasses🛐) ) and for the party party yea plot it can be a costume but also to be their personality like in that one inferno fic where they are different creatures at a party (sorry I forgot the name😔)

You can take your sweet time, don't have to rush this ill be glad to read it even at the middle of next summer if it's written by you really

Thank you for the Ao3 thingy, I'll definitely work on it since tumblr is getting a little bit boring (no offence tumblr, I still love you). I'm in this fan fiction world since wattpad was popular, I even paid for wattpad plus, but Ao3 was my least favourite tbh but I'll try to do something on that side.

I really appreciate you and your works. Love you sm🩷 Fighting!!🙋🏻‍♀️

love that you’re the inferno girly now shdjjd

okay so i got it right, i just wanted to make sure. i think they’re popular in other fandoms but not in the nct one which was so weird for me because you can come up with so many combination of them it’s such a fun concept for this season but i haven’t seen any, at least on tumblr 😭 (i have mixed feelings with omegaverse that’s why this one i have in mind would be the first one i do)

my brain is already imagining thing. like imagine if she decided to stay at home after they repeatedly asked her to go to a party (an halloween one if i can do it in time or just a party) and so they decide to break-in with the costume on. since it’s two of them i can’t make it something discussed before but they do it because they saw something on her internet search or she confessed a kink while drunk and so they decide to bring the fantasy to live and there would be so much teasing once she finds out who’s under the mask. (don’t worry here it’s a safe space i have a problem with it too (and i agree with the glasses too)) okay but now that you talked about glasses idk why i thought about jisung 😭 maybe he could be the shy friend who would never do something like this but jeno (or someone else idk) convinces him that it’s fine and the mc will be fine with it??? (i’m always afraid nerdy, shy jisung is an overdone trope but it seems like a fun idea here). yeah surely not killers but maybe they’re both a little possessive over the mc in their own ways. (don’t worry, i got it anyway, it’s sweet deception)

thank you, let’s hope i can come up with something good!

same, i started on wattpad (tbh i was also on two other sites, one is italian and i don’t remember the name of the other) but tumblr has been my favorite for the last few years before it started sabotaging me*, posting a fic it’s like a battle and i’m tired to do it everytime. ao3 doesn’t have an algorithm but for me it’s paradise because if you search for something you WILL find it. the only tags you can use here are the basic smut, fluff and angst one. i wanted to make a post to try to explain how ao3 works but then i never did. anyway here’s an useful link with the main answer about how it works and how to navigate the site, maybe it will help!

thank you for the support! love you 🩷

* i don’t think tumblr has problems with ME but post don’t show up in the tags, the whole label thing, links break the post most of the time, i just generally feel like it’s dying and i know i’m not the only one who thinks that, especially artists and writers are running away from here

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/11/24

7:40 p.m updated

I guess I reported her to the wrong agency. I have to print out the form and print out the email and print out my report.

I'm going to change it to September 21st. Take out asshole face and Brianna's pussy tree and just describe it as an incidence. I have to figure out how to word it, to get my point across.

I realize the psych ward does not have cameras in the rooms. They may have heard me bc they have them in the common area. However I don't know if the person out in common area heard me or if the cameras picked it up.

As for asshole face it'll be in the incident report.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to name you Elise. I have to name current and past practitioners. The form is entirely different. I have no choice. I'm sure they'll contact you as well as everyone else I've seen on a long term basis.

Idk if you even read my tumblr or care about me. Either way it haunts me that I can't know you personally...

Also my youtube is dead. The hours went from 220 to 50 to 35 to 28..

Maybe I should stop posting and remove my content. I try to make good content and with 160 videos and millions of tags, you'd think I'd have a constant wave of people coming to my channel..

It's getting pathetic... maybe I should give up on my dreams. Also then I can make content without my glasses on if I do decide to stupidly try to follow my dreams.

I don't expect to be an anyone. To achieve anything. To have anything or even go on vacation in state to a campground before I die even if I make it to 60. I don't expect to have anything to look forward to. I don't expect to have anything change in a positive way. I don't expect to get married. I don't expect to have kids. I don't expect to accomplish anything. I don't even expect to have "stability" for more than a few years. I have nothing on Maslow hierarchy of needs generally speaking.

I expect to be a drain on society. And be an useless pathetic disabled couch potato, no one loves until I end my life. Which I mean tbh it's coming soon.

Everyday I go on the dating sites I see exactly how pointless it is. No one likes me..no one will have kids with me. At this point I truly want a single mother and to be a insta father figure... You'd think I could find some but there are better people out there despite me wanting to be a stay at home dad..

I don't even want my own children.. I got shit genetics.. I don't want my kids to be fucked like me. I just want a kid or two to love me and to have a wife

But instead I do nothing and have nothing. I get nothing and no one likes me for who I am. All I have is friends. They are all getting married. Having kids. Have multiple options for dating if they are single.. and all I got is psychosis and ocd. A dream to be someone and everything in my life pointing to overdosing as I try every single day and see absolutely nothing change.