#idk how to tag proper triggers for this

[lonelyinkcap]

im just trying to figure out whats going on

who im talking to

youre only here every few days

its just us

im trying not to overdramatize it

is that what youre trying to get me to do?

i just want to know whats going on.

this is like talking to a wall

at most you

repeat my words back at me

oh

nevermind

are you

trying to take over?

youre

in control now

i think

im not sure what to do

[gogomeaty]

.-.

How i wished there wasn't adults showing kids stuff they shouldn't know no matter which age they are or how grown up the adults they think the kids are, they are still kids.

And I'm talking from showing naked ladies to straight up showing porn to little boys to make them ''men'' or teaching little girls how to be flirtatious and how that full grown ass man over there likes them just to have a laugh with your friends at how the little girl thinks it's true.

Is very damaging for a little kids and the worse thing is sometimes the adults who do that are the ones who should take care of the kids, like is so, i don't even have words to describe how angry and disgusted i feel about this.

[spacelesscowboy]

i think one of my biggest fears about dying isn’t actually dying, (although it is pretty scary to think about) it’s dying and then being remembered as someone i wasn’t.

[artificialbreezy]

Can you please explain to me how the fuck I was scrolling through the Noah tag and found someone who wrote a fic that has whole ass SA?!?!?! AND PEOPLE ARE LOVING THE FIC???????

okay i’m talking about a blog and what was SA written in a fic and not in a warning properly, just hidden in smut. i’ve added a cut bc i don’t want to trigger anyone as there is the exact part from the fic in this.

hi! okay so, if you’re talking about what i was just made aware of. i think we SHOULD be talking about it because to me, the piece i was shown was in fact SA.

there is no reason you should be writing this (direct copy and paste from the fic in mention):

“Noah… stop...please...no more", I begged, tears leaving hot trails down my cheeks but it only egged him on. Harder he fucked his cock into me, the hand at my hip squeezing. I was certain there would be bruises. "Stop, Noah, I'm gonna' come...please don't... don't come inside me...pull out", I continued to beg. Still ingorning my pleas, Noah powered his hips into me until I came so hard I saw stars, my walls clamping down on his cock. Noah suddenly stilled, holding himself inside me as deep as his cock would allow to unload inside me. His cock pulsed and I squirmed and thrashed to get away but the damage was already done...l should have thought about that before I let my walls crumble for him.”

in no way should this have been posted. in no way should you paint a person YOU DO NOT KNOW in this light.

i understand it’s fanfic, it’s fake. that’s cool and fine however SA in any aspect should ever be written in smut WITHOUT the proper warning.

idk it just makes me feel real icky. real real icky. the blog is blocked on my end, but i needed to talk about this.

this is NOT okay.

[elkkiel]

Sorry friends, this is gonna be a long one. I feel like speaking in a space where someone may see and perceive what I'm saying is helpful to personal accountability. Please feel free to skip, it's more of a thought dump than anything (I am midway through writing now and I think I lost the plot a while ago lol)

Topics covered: grind culture, mental health, self-care, and learning when to manually sound the alarm for yourself as an audhd-er in the deep end of life.

Here's some tags that I left on the the grind culture reblog before this. I just wanted to share some thoughts and didn't want them to get lost; I feel like making a proper post really solidifies the situation (sorta like getting those abstract thoughts from your head onto paper, and realizing just how bad it is when it's all laid out before you.) And I want to make a change when I can finally get my head above water.

I think it can be especially difficult for us AuDHDers, since we don't necessarily have alarm bells installed that neurotypicals in similar situations may have but "choose" (consciously or not) to ignore. Things can really spiral into a bad place quickly if you don't have the cues or signs to alert you. We need to be diligent in doing those manual checks ourselves, KNOWING that we have struggles that make life just that much more difficult.

Take inventory of your life. Do you allocate time to self-care activities, and/or are those the right activities for you? Turns out for me that building a complex skin care routine (as suggested by mainstream self-care culture) only stresses me out more. Especially when I never have the energy to do it, making me feel bad when I only manage to do the basics *sometimes* (and the stress acne persists smh my head). My therapist recommended productive activities that involve both current hyperfixes and that ADHD Motor™. I want to learn basic carpentry over the summer, since I love working with my hands! For now, drawing masked men as cats will suffice (though I will not complain about the kittenification of my faves)

Choose a moment to consciously feel how your body is feeling. Check in with yourself! This is important for my alexithymia bitches. Are you more fatigued than usual? Are your muscles tense for some reason? Have you been hungry with no appetite? If you notice anything, let's make some connections—really dig into it. The instance I mentioned in the tags above was a really clear one for me. I took like 12 hours on the IV in the Ivy art instead of coursework, and that weekend I slept almost 22 hours. A few days later, I'm still in a cycle of horrible fatigue and excessive sleep. Connecting the trigger event (taking the time to create "unnecessary" art) to current sensations (extreme fatigue) is giving me insight into how stressed I actually am that I wouldn't have really seen otherwise.

I'm also feeling more and more aware of how activities and things become a bit of a crutch to avoid expending energy on social activities. Idk how many other people deal with this particular problem, but I have almost zero social drive. Like I legitimately don't feel the need to meet people and see friends. Almost 100% of my social needs are covered by talking to my parents, chatting with the girls at work (while at work) and passively absorbing interactions from complete strangers within earshot. It's one of the big things I'm continually documenting for when I can finally afford to get evaluated for autism (babygirl I don't even have enough for the ADHD assessment yet and that's more crucial for disability stuff lol) and it makes life real tough.

Not having the time nor the drive to invest in relationships really stunts you as a person in my experience. I don't know how to actually quantify what makes a friend (e.g. are we friends because we are Tumblr mutuals who haven't had an actual conversation but hype each other up in notes?) and I don't have any time to learn. I can't participate in leisure activities that may take some of the pressure off since I haven't been able to practice initiating interactions. It baffles me how some of the girls at work just casually meet up outside of work, or make plans out of the blue in a conversation (how tf do you gauge when/if to propose something????)

Like, it's bad. I haven't seen my best friend in a year and a half, and even the term "best friend" almost definitely isn't accurate in this scenario anymore. It's just another stressor that could potentially be avoided by lifting one's nose from the grindstone, but it's so intimidating to even try at this point. I don't feel the drive to be friends, but something tells me it's healthier than being alone with my work and thoughts.

Idk I think that's all I have for now. I definitely went on a tangent or two that don't connect back to the original idea so apologies for the letter-based vomit.

ty if you read any of this, if you have any thoughts or input I'm always open for replies or asks. The world is big and fast and horrible and confusing a lot of the time, but I think sharing experiences helps to keep things in perspective.

maybe I'll ask more targeted questions for community input some other time because I'm genuinely curious how to navigate around social deficits (the "who is a Friend and why?" thing especially because I genuinely have zero clue)

anyways have a good day, drink some water, take ur meds, and be kind to yourself

[fictionkinfessions]

Hey, 🌻,🔺🔫 here. My post had nothing to do with incest. I was literally just talking about how I missed him wanting my company. Not everyone is canon complacent. The Eden plan canonically is super vague and incest is only one of the possible interpretations of it. Just thought I’d let you know. Please untag my shit and don’t listen to that anon. Really upset that that’s what was taken from my really personal experience and pain. Sorry but fuck you anon.

I genuinely apologize for tagging it with that. I never watched the series and often only go off of what other people warn me about. Much like many other sources. It's been removed now.

I also apologize for my kinda snarky reply there. Sometimes people try to be cute and vague about their incest ships which I feel is shitty because 1) I don't know their inferences, thus 2) I can't tag it properly which leads to people getting triggered. Please let me do my job tagging CWs. Heavy topics like incest aren't banned here because I aim to CW tag them for everyone's comfort. That's the point.

Anonymous asked: Hey, calling them "the trigun incest guys" is like super fucking gross and super fucking weird of you anon. There is literally no canon incest in Trigun. The Eden plan is literally not incest, it never was. It's literally JUST the utopia pipe dream of a toxic and possessive brother who feels betrayed that the only family he'll ever had turned his back on him, but go off I guess. I really think people need to mind their business more. This shit happened to me when I made a very vulnerable confession about my brother and someone called me weird for it and said to tag it as incest. If we were posting about incest, we wouldn't be vague about it. There's plenty of confessions about that on this blog. Thank you. ~ A very insulted Millions Knives Anonymous asked: Sorry actually my last message may have been really mean I just hate people taking one interpretation of my source and deciding I’m a bad person based on it. We do not see things the same way and that is okay but like don’t pretend your idea of source is more correct than mine.

Also yeah it's really weird. Y'all sometimes it's not incest. People just love their siblings in a normal platonic fashion. If one reads incest into that, idk what that says about a person. You have a inclination towards media analysis? I have no idea what goes on in the source, and sure, maybe it can be interpreted as incest? But one should remember that people often speak from the point of view from their personal canons. No matter how much it sounds like the main source canon, we'll never know anymore than a brief look from a single confession. I also assume maybe the fandom jokes about 'plant incest' or whatever which could lean into not giving it the proper consideration. Incest isn't a joke or meaningless to a lot of people. Not to mention fanon tends to take priority over actual canon source in fandom spaces, which rewrites what really happened in the source media.

And no you have every right to be mad about being accused of incest. That is a really serious topic that shouldn't be without tact and respect and consideration for multiple parties involved with it.

Connie / mod party cat

[justsomewhump]

Some random stuff after a long silence XD inspiration hits at weird intervals!

So I've already written a short whumpy fanfic for my current whumpee, and there's another long-ass one in the works, and I have found my people to daydream about him getting hurt, and I am so glad about that...

But I've reached the point of writing an R-rated whumpy fanfic, as I do, and I don't know my people there 😳 I can't just go to my current bubble and go like "Hey do you also like to see him getting ripped apart like that" because what if it's a trigger for them? I mean, there's a reason I post my R-rated fanfic on a completely separate account.

I'm sure there are people out there who would enjoy this. I've even found a very good fanfic with that subject matter, but... it was not a Dead Dove Do Not Eat kinda thing. It had all the proper warnings and tags (I mean, that's how I found it, lol) but in the chapter with all the... action, the writer said specifically where the action started and where it ended, so people could avoid the graphic stuff.

And still there was someone in the comments saying they liked it but they felt so upset because it awakened bad memories and I want to SCREAM like. The warning is there for a reason.

Anyway, I'm just saying that though it was properly tagged and a pretty good one, it wasn't... idk, that enjoying of it? Like, I've written some dark shit and it was unapologetically self-indulgent.

It's not bad that it wasn't that, to be clear. It's just that because it had a lot of comfort afterwards and focus on the character relationships, I'm sure that most people who read it wouldn't be ones who would throw themselves head first into the kind of stuff I like to read.

So idk I was just writing this as a vent that I haven't yet found the people who will do exactly that... but I realized I have to be the change I want to see.

And since I already have started writing something, I thought at first I could post it only after it's done in full, but I can just post a first chapter and see what comes from this. If anything I just wanna TALK about this with someone, lol, but I don't know who. My friends who would enjoy it are not in this fandom and my friends in this fandom I don't know if they'd be comfortable reading it. So maybe posting a chapter out there can bring me people from both sides :D

[uniiiquehecrt]

Thor Odinson

tagged by : @beheworthy bc i would ALWAYS like 💖💖💖

Give me a fictional character and I will say:

Favorite thing about them: His big dumb hero's heart. His compassion. How much he loves his home, his people, his family, his beloved, his friends — how much he loves.

Least favorite thing about them: //stares pointedly at his inability to form meaningful connections because Thor is Not Allowed to be Not Okay (even when it's obvious and people he loves asks him to share his heart).

Three things I have in common with them:

I am, myself, an elder sibling!! And one whose younger brother was/is someone I am incredibly close to, care a great deal about — that entire drama is very close to home for me.

A passion bubble for friends and family that's, on occasion, close to the surface... but otherwise am chill 👍

and .... bunt out golden child syndrome vibes. Especially that vibe of "do it on your own and put on your leader face at all times, because all eyes are on you, good luck"

Three things I don’t have in common with them:

His ... overly reserved nature. I've been told I can be serious but I don't think I brood the way he does.

One day I will be nearly half as eloquent in my speech outside of writing 🙏

The way that Thor is able to just command a room???? Goals. Total goals. I'm either very good at directing conversations or shaky at it and I wish I had Thor's level of confidence.

Favorite line:

"i would rather be a good man than a great king."

OR ALTERNATIVELY.

"is that why everything's on fire~?"

BROTP: Brodinsons 100% . Then the entire warriors + sif squad dynamics! I'm forever sad we never got more of them all together. Then Heimdall, because Thor deserves positive mentor figures in his life. (and as far as the avengers proper go: Thor/Steve absolutely deserves more recognition they were the og duo as far as Age of Ultron is concerned and y'all , we've all been sleeping.)

OTP: Fosterson ! :D They're adorable star-crossed lovers, and he loves her very much. (and she feels the same for him !)

NOTP: if i see (1) more fan art of thorki in the thor tag i will scream. I guess also bruce/thor and valkyrie/thor exist ...??? I'm not really sure who Thor's exactly shipped with in the MCU besides Jane.

Random Headcanon: One time I considered the thought of little!Thor being exceptionally friendly with his kitchen staff servants, and because he's a strong little guy, he'd pick up giant barrels 3x his size and lug them around just because he wants to be helpful. And he'd do it with or without the prize of getting snuck goodies (though he would definitely prefer the goodies, were it up to him.)

Unpopular Opinion: I'm not sure if this counts as an unpopular opinion exactly, but I do always find it interesting that in the Frozen Vault Scene in Thor (2011), what the cinematography and editors show us that sets Thor off is seeing the dead einherjar...

And I'd actually say that this triggers his anger more than the interruption of his crowning ceremony.

So with that in mind, I'm not actually sure that (most of) his rage regarding the situation was about the coronation at all, in that case. At least, not in comparison to the fear he states (semi-subtextually) about being strong enough to maintain Asgard's borders were. ("They know you are vulnerable.")

He actually seems to only be upset about the coronation AFTER Odin makes it very clear he's decided to change his mind and rescind the crown from him entirely ... which only further fuels the point that Thor isn't ready. (aka: the one thing Thor is keenly aware of, scared of, and is scared the Frost Giants also know.) Which, you know, he's not at that point in time, but I don't see a lot of people talk about the details of that particular inciting incident all that much.

(honestly the ENTIRE text and subtext of the frozen vault scene absolutely FASCINATES ME so maybe I'll do a deep dive on it one day idk)

Song SONGS I associate with them: ... //looks at my 5-minutes-until-13 hr playlist uh...

Glowing, Boreas, and Rounds by The Oh Hellos

Plant Life, The Real World, and Bird with a Broken Wing by Owl City

No Sanctuary by UNSECRET (ft. Sam Tinnesz and Fleurie)

Afterglow and Places by Portrair

Paper and Ink (fosterson) and Everything Changes in Time (brodinsons) by Madds Buckley ... also Hoping on Another Life by Madds Buckley

Favorite picture of them:

//pulls out my entire dark world screenshots folder bc are you really going to make me choose, quirks, are you really going to make me choose

soft beautiful 🥺🥺🥺🥺 precious boy ... give me more of that poncho look tho thanks

Tagging: @darkwee009 for pinkie pie or for kirby ! :D whichever you'd like more, friend !!!

[manofmanymons]

Been thinking of writing a therapy fic for survive. Where despite the light hearteness of the true ending the cast still has shit to unpack.

Any advice on writing some potentially triggering stuff about the characters in a respectful way?

Okay first of all

I love that idea

But honestly I feel like it would be hard to be accidentally disrespectful about something you genuinely care about?

I feel like normally people only disrespect triggering things when they try to use them for comedy or drama or plot convenience but if the whole focus is on tackling their trauma I just can't imagine that happening accidentally.

Like treating them lightly, glossing over them, using them only for shock value, blaming the victim/focusing too much on how they should feel vs how they do (ex. there's a difference between someone feeling like something is their fault even though it's not vs the narrative treating them like they are actually at fault or even making them feel bad for feeling bad bc "it's not your fault so it's stupid to feel that way"), just generally not taking a triggering situation seriously or implying that there's a wrong way to feel yknow? I am not good at articulating things I am so sorry.

I can't even say "just don't joke about it" because tbh Minoru or Saki probably would joke about it ToT

I think just generally treating things with the proper gravitas (and like also just tagging everything properly so no one is caught of guard by any of it)

Maybe it's just because I don't generally write things that aren't lighthearted but I feel like I don't have a good answer ToT

Aaah I also can't even say like "well if it feels uncomfortable you shouldn't write it" bc like...trauma is uncomfortable and not sugarcoating it or sanitizing it is a good thing.

I don't think you have to dance around a subject y'know like whether you choose to heavily imply a triggering thing or outright say "this is the thing that happened" I don't honestly feel that one way is more correct than the other?

Like feelings and trauma responses and even what makes writing good are all so subjective I don't know how to write anything beyond do what feels right and trust your own judgement in what does and doesn't feel okay to say

My only real advice beyond "do what the vibes dictate" I guess is just to use the game itself as a blueprint for how to present dark themes/events because I think it does it all very well idk I really wanna help but I'm also really not experienced in doing this kind of thing ToT

If someone who is good at tackling dark or heavy themes would like to talk about their process or if a content consumer would like to share what puts them off in media where these things are handled poorly please feel free to hijack this post!

This was,,,way too many words for me to essentially say "girl I don't know" I'm--

[kallistcs]

Common misconceptions; first of all, this exhaustingly annoying idea that Achilles is being uniquely singled out by the gods to be used by them, trained or tricked into being what/how he is, etc and so on. The only god that's had any direct hand in his rearing is his own damn mother, who loves him and would very much not have him on the battlefield in Troy! The only thing that's "trained" him into being as and how he is, is HUMAN social/cultural expectations and mores, that every damn mortal in mythical heroic society is dealing with! Achilles chooses of his own damn self to go to Troy, knowing what it will lead to for him. (Against one or the other parent's wishes, depending on which version one goes with.) Achilles is, quite frankly, one of the characters who's got the most agency and is the least of a victim out of many others. Another one is definitely that he TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY meant to go home. Well if that was true he wouldn't have hung around the camp for eleven days before the fighting of the Iliad proper actually starts. I've seen people say he "didn't have time to leave" after his claiming he's going to do so at the embassy in Book 9, but at that point he's been claiming he's going to leave for over two weeks. Even if he actually believes every single thing he's saying at the embassy he clearly still values other things more.

An important headcanon; Between him and Patroclus, he's the one with more extensive and complete medical knowledge (especially herbal lore to be used medically). He has clearly taught Patroclus some of what Chiron taught him, but I doubt it's been all of it.

A useless headcanon; He has impeccable balance and can swim like a fish - in sea water. Waves etc can't pull him over. In fresh water, however, he does have to really work for it.

Potential triggers; For Achilles himself? None (aside from Patroclus' death after Patroclus has died). For others talking to him, if he's out to do mental damage? Oh boy. this is a young man who deliberately tossed the head of the child/pre-teen he murdered at his older brothers, so you know.

Something you enjoy about writing them; ... Well. Idk about enjoying, and he's also the muse that's most finicky regarding my inspiration but uh. I guess... acknowledging and digging into how dark he actually is??

Something you want others to know before writing with them; To be honest, I didn't pick Achilles up because I am overflowing with love for him. I picked him up because everything I've seen (fic- and RP-wise) is basically "poor woobie achilles who is used and does no wrong and even if he does it's understandable" and I am TIRED. This man here is a spoiled monster on a leash and that's what you're getting, even if he has some soft spots, especially in regards to the people he is fond of.

tagging: @whinedarksea @mvndrvke @wonderingprince and you, if you want to!

[rodolfoparras]

Oh I know what art you're talking about and it genuinely pissed me off and made me so sad (especially cause artist is nonbinary). A lot of people were just saying that they should've put trigger/content warning and that would be it. I understand that a lot of people vent through their art or express things they're into (I mean we all do) but if it's something like that drawing, something they they knew would be triggering to many many people, it just seems so... idk disgusting? to not tag it properly.

I was big Konig fan as well but nowadays I just can't bring myself to like him the way I did before. There are some bots and one or two writers whose Konig content I like but for the most part he's just been ruined for me :((

And that art hit me especially hard because I'm trans man who adores Ghost and I see s lot of myself in him and he is my comfort character

-🔮

They 1. Should’ve tagged it 2. Didn’t see what they did wrong by doing it 3. Ppl who defend them by saying oh well they’re trans are so ridiculous to me, trans ppl can be transphobic, gay ppl can be homophobic and so on and so forth 4. Before that they made a whole discussion on how könig is homophobic and I have such hard time understanding the thought process of haha this is a funny discussion lets make him homophobic in my art and transphobic too!

They really have stomped his character into the ground which is sad bc the dude has barley a proper character as it is😭

They can suck it sugar don’t let ridiculous ppl on the internet eat away at you 🫶🏻

[squishosaur]

jj ramble!!

^ tags from @cygnusswan

favorite character:

UWAH I LOVE THEM ALL... even the side characters (except chui and his posse they kinda freak me out tbh)... my favorite love interest is probably fumi because i played his route first or shirota because i relate to him the most ✌️ but they're all nice, and i also want to shout out kisa because i was worried that she'd be a super blank slate with no personality, but she had so much depth and i love her immensely, she's definitely a completely fleshed out character and she's strong in her own right, so i'm really excited to play her route too! to me, her struggle with her gender and her identity is so real. like, even though she's a cis girl, the way she's written feels so??? i dunno. it's relatable to me.

favorite performance:

I'M SOO OBSESSED WITH MARY JANE... sneak peek of my phone background ⬇️

BUT.... the one i keep coming back to is oh rama havenna????? THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD... chichi and rukirora are so important to me okay.... AND THE CUTSCENES WERE SO GOOD IN THAT ONE??? god... when kisa started crying at the end i also started ugly crying. also shout out neji's massive fake honkers in the confessional mv. why were they so big. how did that work. i got scared. his strappless dress was crazy. especially since he was the main focus. (pictured below: two havenna scenes that had me in tears)

and cessia (shishia??? I DON'T REMEMBER HOW IT'S SPELLED) was also good. but i wanna see all the versions before i form a final opinion on it 😭😭😭.... i still think i'm going to like adra as the love interest the best. it feels right to me... ajdnndnd I SOBBED BTW...

BUT ALL OF THE SONG AND DANCE NUMBERS ARE SO GOOD FROM EVERY SHOW... they're all in my driving playlist ✌️ even ms. robin. which is literally such a goofy song to me.

routes:

i did fumi's first (drew a commemorative something here) and i'm playing mitsu's now ✌️✌️ I REALLY LOVE FUMI'S ROUTE THOUGH... the way he definitely fell first and pretty much immediately (i think he has a thing for tachibanas idk man ajsjsns) AND he knew all along that kisa was a girl but protected her identity all year without her even having to ask. AND!! AND!! as soon as kisa told him, he went to calling her a beautiful girl and using feminine terms to describe her... it was so reassuring(???) because he obviously cared about her identity and knew she was uncomfortable with the thought of being outed but also knew that she still identified as a girl despite having to put up a front, so using her proper gender and stuff even in private meant a lot yk??? after a year of hiding your gender identity a really pretty guy asking you to be his girlfriend seems like a w to me. obsessed with how he was confessing since his first weekend event ajdjdjd,,,

surprises/wishes:

WAS NOT EXPECTING THE BEACH EPISODE BUT I DID WELCOME IT WITH OPEN ARMS... all of their swimsuits were so goofy... I LIKE THAT KISA'S OUTFIT CHANGES SLIGHTLY IN THE CUTSCENES??? also. big fan of whatever the rhondonite first years were doing. they slayed.

I ALSO DID NOT EXPECT THE SAUNA... and why was it like. pee yellow... HELLO.. 💀💀

WISHING FOR A DLC WHERE I CAN GET WITH KASAI OR KIITO.... please please... head in my hands.... they're so silly... also would never happen realistically but poly suzu/sou/kisa when....

I GOT THE GAME LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO MAYBE and i have not stopped thinking about it.... i don't think i will check the hours i'll get scared. i'm not an otome girlie though, so i did not expect to like it for that. i got it because i'm a musical theatre kid, certified thespian, and awful bad rhythm gamer it appealled to me... i was actually very skeptical about the "girl at an all boys school" concept but it was really well excecuted imo ajdndn,,, i'm glad that there's varying amounts of romance in the different routes. i've triggered different cutscenes for suzu, mitsuki, and fumi and so i appreciate that it doesn't all feel like forced romance?? i dunno how to describe it.. anyways!! 10/10 i think there is something for everyone here ✌️ (silly guys and gender shenanigans)

[dittolicous]

I've been thinking a lot about the whole purity culture struggle thing re: incest/twincest because of submas and while I absolutely get the issue of slippery slope censorship + how dark topics are not inherently bad, I feel like a lot of the issues people have in incest ships isn't neccarily with the actual incest portion, but actually the constant denial & erasure of deep platonic love, yet all shipper focus on is censorship or antis or 'being too sensative' etc...

for example, every goddamn year around Christmas people roll out the 'incest folgers commercial' and every goddamn year I have to practice my breathing so as to not lose my shit because why the fuck can a little sister not love her damn brother and be elated to see him again? why does that mean she wants to fuck him? why are we okay with belittling familial relationships, demanding they only show their love in a certain way?

just because you don't have that kind of relationship with your sibling doesn't mean no one does.

this can also be seen in found families and/or adopted families, as well as nonconforming queer-platonic relationships. so why is it not something to be had and acknowledged in creations?

another example is the batfam (aka the Waynes & co). despite Bruce CANONICALLY adopting various robins/sidekicks, people constantly deny they're siblings, shipping them with each other. and even with Bruce.

because 'it's not by blood'. because oh, whats the platonic explanation for such-and-such?

because platonic love is only allowed to be shown in one way, and if they do otherwise, if they consider them just as important, well clearly they're in ~romantic~ love.

its.... really demoralizing to say that if you care about someone a little too much, that means you want to fuck them. that's how we build a society that is lonely, divided, and lacking in a loving community, because the only love we put credit in is single, romantic love.

the tier list of relationships isn't 'romantic partner > family > friends'. in a better world, they're all equal to a point and given proper attention to sustain a healthy relationship altogether. just like gender or autism, love is a spectrum that we shouldn't demand conformity of.

and, ok, how does this relate back to submas?

I think a lot of the b-----kshippers really don't understand just how upsetting and even triggering it can be to have them interact with non-shipping stuff.

like... how many people base their work on their own siblings, on things they've experienced in their family? so a person make a submas comic or fic based on a memory with their own siblings. they're happy, want to share it, and we'll of course creators want to see what others think of their creations!

until they see tags or comments about how 'there's no platonic explanation' or how 'in love' they are or, hell, even just the simple tag noting the ship.

on a piece created after a real-life experience with their sibling.

that can shift the entire vibe, not only of the work and characters, but also the creator. now they're having their family relationship twisted & denied. will they stop creating for these characters? will they pull away from their siblings so no one ever claims they love them in that way?

idk

I know that in my own writing, I constantly stop and question how close i make Ingo and Emmet, how their relationship may be viewed, despite it all being written 100% platonic. and it's agitating that I struggle with that, because it makes me feel so utterly gross that people look at what I make and deny that any other love is possible.

that also comes through in how I interact with creations of others, because I do not want to accidentally interact with something that twists platonic love languages or denies them. and i think people who ship such things demand understanding for their 'whys' without stopping to consider that maybe these 'antis' have reasons beyond 'ew incest taboo!'

what can we do? again, idk. censorship isnt..isn't... something im down with. but I think that those who do ship it need to be just as critical of how they interact with it and the fandom at large, because they impact our art just as much as we impact theirs.

there is a time and place for all creations.

don't act like disliking or wanting no interaction with them makes them pathetic or... whatever. you have your reason, we have ours. a trigger is still a trigger, even if the trauma it comes from is the menial yet constant societal pressure for romance to trump all other relationships.

so please look critically at how you interact with others too. don't view my stuff as bl------shipping. just... block me and move on. or whatever.

[crazykuroneko]

Oh, I so wish people would tag their works properly. I would love to read more iwtv fanfic, but I am very specific about which endgame I want and I have had to file fics away for later, so I can check the comments and the last chapter, essentially spoiling myself in some ways, just to make sure I don't end up with my notp or some other pairing I wasn't in the mood for. And a personally pet peeve perhaps, I wish people would tag their kinks properly. Got half way through a super promising fic and had it to drop it because it had the a certain kink in it. And where I like some kinks, I have a few that are a hard pass, so if people would also tag them, that would be super great.

my routine is basically like that as well. usually i just need to read the tags and synopsis, then i'll put it on mark for later or go into it right away. that used to be enough. but now it's tricky. idk what has changed. prob younger fandom don't really understand tagging or smth? because even when we haven't had ao3 back then, still on lj or ff.net, we still tried to list everything, either in tags, synopsis, or author's note. maybe not so detailed, but we would try to convey how the tone in the fic would be (hags like me remember times when there's a difference between writing a pairing as A/B or B/A)

the basics are tagging characters, dynamics (pairings order, endagame and top/bottom), kinks, and "triggers" (there can be fandom specific triggers; e.g. in amc iwtv, cheating and domestic violence are def triggers). that's it.

and i feel you anon. for me, from the dawn of my time in fandom, otp is really one true pairing, so i mostly won't touch fics involving others. but there are times when i'm intrigued enough (esp when i knew the writer is good), and that's where the tags will help: i would know whether i still can enjoy this fic if i give it a chance (and i do want to give it a chance). how far this would challenge my preferences.

i know some tags sound so trivial and perhaps "stupid" for others. but the thing is sometimes you go to ao3 to look for very specific fics. e.g. when i'm in mood i'll look for "hannibal has breeding kink" or "top louis". it doesn't mean i believe hannibal always has breeding kink, or louis has to always top, but those are what i want to read at that time. or like you, when they're untagged, they throw you off the story you have to either drop them or skip the scene.

so what i'm trying to say is, proper tagging isn't only for readers, but for writers as well. as a reader, i love crawling back certain tags until the oldest fic, and i know i'm not the only one doing it. so tagging = more spotlight for old fics.

i can only hope more people will understand how important it is. we're extremely lucky to have AO3 with robust tagging system. by using and heeding tags properly we can make a safer and more enjoyable fandom space.

[gallus-rising]

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat absolutely does not apply to things like “#long and tedious discussions of speculative biolology” the term was explicitly invented to describe “i am being 100% serious here this is Dark” darkfics

using it on perfectly inoffensive stuff is not just horrifically waters down the meaning, it’ll also probably lose you readers. yes, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat isn’t a trigger warning in and of itself. you need to include the additional tags letting ppl know what about your fic makes it dead dove but here’s the thing: let’s say i’m in the mood to read some cathartic SA hurt/comfort recovery fic. i can not normally filter out hardcore portrayals of this topic without also filtering out what i’m looking for. both the extreme hardcore skullfucking fics and the softer “the bad stuff mostly happens off screen” fics will typically have similar warning tags. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat isn’t 100% perfect, but it will allow me to find that perfect angsty fic i’m in the mood for while cutting down on my chances of coming across something i’d rather not see

and here’s the other thing: sometimes i sit down to read and first thing i do is filter out Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. i am simply not in the mood for darkfic, but still might be up for reading something featuring violence, so i use that tag to (try to) cut out the hardcore stuff. if your fic is perfectly sfw and happy and fluffy but tagged Dead Dove: Do Not Eat i will not see it, no matter how much i might like it

the reason for it being Dead Dove: Do Not Eat instead of something with a similar meaning like What It Says On The Tin is because you open the bag and it’s not just “idk what i was expecting” it’s because the bag contains something upsetting like a dead animal. What It Says On The Tin will get your meaning across without alienating people trying to avoid dark content

tldr:

yes add proper trigger warnings in addition to dead dove. ppl should know exactly what they’re getting into when they click on a darkfic

no do not tag perfectly inoffensive things as dead dove. you will water down the meaning and fuck up search results

hate what people did to the dead dove tag

[ownsun]

𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠⠀:⠀CONTROL⠀»⠀⠀

          as you’d expect ,  control is a big aspect of any werewolf’s personality     —     in fact ,  it’s borderline essential to most werewolf characteristics if one wants to interact cohesively with the rest of the world .     however ,  jacob responds to his own sudden ,  unanticipated lycanthropy with far more intensity than most .     overnight ,  jacob’s entire life is turned upon its head without his consent ,   accompanied by the trauma of his first shift  &  what it means to be a werewolf at all ,  the cushion to all of it is a man he’d been so suspicious of ,  pulling friends  &  acquaintances bit by bit away from their previous lives until they’re no longer familiar .     it’s a lot ,  on top of the everyday stresses that come with his life already ,  as well as his more recent investment in helping bella cope with her own demons along the way .     his life is suddenly dangerous  &  unfamiliar in every place he needs it to feel safe  &  secure .     his actions themselves  &  even his own feelings are suddenly so untethered from the person he spent all his life becoming ,  they barely feel like his anymore .

          the responding coping methods quickly devolve .

𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫

          there are two main components to most anxiety disorders .  firstly ,  the given  anxiety  itself ;  more specifically ,  the initial process of something causing distressing ,  persistent anxiety     —     &  then often the resulting  dysfunctional behaviors  that reduce the anxiety .  ocd itself usually has noteworthy     ‘  types  ’     :  cleaning  &  contamination ,  symmetry  &  ordering ,  forbidden or harmful thoughts  &  impulses ,  &  hoarding .     because jacob’s symptoms lie mostly in the ordering  &  thoughts / impulses category ,  i will only be going over these two in this headcanon .

          ordering  :  a big part of jacob’s anxiety is over control     (  moreso the lack of it  )     is the feeling that he does not belong to himself .     his thoughts  &  feelings are shared with an entire pack of other people when he’s a wolf .     his future partner is borderline if not entirely guaranteed to be someone he won’t get to choose ,  but instead his brain will choose for him ,  which in of itself isn’t nearly as terrifying as the prospect that he won’t even be able to choose for himself how he will feel about it ,  that even his right to forming his own thoughts will be robbed of him.     shifting into a creature that’s just as powerful as it is deadly is something that can happen to him at the drop of a hat ,  at any moment ,  any time ,  as long as his emotions behave even remotely in their own accord ,  which . . .     is how emotions tend to work .     

          this is one of jacob’s obsessions ,  &  what helps to reduce this is to meticulously keep track of  &  control what he needs to believe is his .     naturally ,  this means most of this meticulousness is reserved for his own things ;  his room ,  his belongings ,  his clothes ,  his hair .     everything has to be a certain way now ,  because in everything he does ,  there is now a desperate need to keep hold of it ,  a compensation to the thought that he's going to lose it all .     everything in his room  &  the garage has it’s place ,  deliberate  &  intentional to the point that if someone touches or grabs at one of his things ,  even if it’s to simply look  &  set back down ,  anxiety spikes  &  he hovers ,  escalatingly irritable until he can personally return it to it’s rightful spot .

          another habit to reduce this feeling is being deliberate  &  habitual with his own body .     routines like morning jogging ,  or the time in which he showers or wakes up ,  are opportunities to own his own physical actions .     if outside any of specific routine of his ,  counting his own steps is an accessible method to achieve the same sense of security within his own actions .     brushing or braiding his hair is also helpful  &  another reason why he doesn’t want it cut ,  as well as the permeating desire to remain as himself as he was before he was a werewolf .

          thoughts  &  impulses  :  this one’s honestly the doozy of the two .     actions are worrisome  &  the impulse part of the two ,  but the idea that his own thoughts aren’t his is foundationally destressing to his sense of autonomous identity .     with being part animal comes the instincts of one     —     the instincts of a predator at that ;  to hunt ,  to prioritize  &  optimize survival ,  to respond to fear with violent self defense or complete concession ,  to obtain power in physical feats .     most of these behaviors are a direct contrast to his personality before his first shift .     the person he thought he was  &  wanted to be was generous ,  thoughtful ,  nurturing ,  someone who cared to indulge in the unnecessary ,  to fix things  &  to thrive ,  to do things just because ,  no personal survival or reward necessary ,  no need to compete in the ongoing power struggle of nature .     that’s not to say wolves don’t participate in any of these qualities     —     in fact ,  jacob knows real wolves’ behaviors aren’t that black  &  white or brutal .     (  funnily enough ,  this fear-fueled black  &  white thinking can be more alike to the animalistic instincts he’s desperately trying to avoid  )     it’s the anxiety of the shift itself being something he doesn’t get a say in ,  that it’s completely at the whim of fickle ,  moment to moment ,  fluid  &  irrational emotions .     that anxiety only ever snowballs any stress he might already feel that could prompt a shift .     anger that would otherwise be fleeting becomes fear that his mind can’t stop obsessing over until he can soothe it somehow ,  assure him that he is in control ,  &  that he won’t hurt anyone unless he himself decides to .

          unfortunately ,  one of the quickest  &  easiest ways to stop a shift is pain .     intense pain interrupts the self defense mechanism of shifting to prioritize the healing process instead .     if ever jacob feels like he’s genuinely on the verge of an unintentional shift ,  the quick snap of an arm over his knee or clamp of the jaws into his hand is usually enough to short-circuit the process ,  moreso if the shift has already come  &  gone before he could stop it .     pain becomes soothing ,  an act he feels the benefit of choosing ,  as well as controlling a shift  &  ensuring that if someone is to suffer for his lack of control ,  it will be him alone ,  &  it will be his decision .

          another far less damaging coping method is to ask someone for help .  this may seem rather simple ,  but it requires far more patience  &  awareness than breaking his own bones ,  as well as admitting out loud to others something he’s deemed a moral failing of his ,  a personal defect .  even just asking someone to remind him who he was is can be grounding ,  which is something he would have learned the moment bella responded to the voicing of his fear of losing himself with reassurance that he just wouldn’t ,  that she’d be there to remind him ,  whenever he needed ,  that she simply wouldn’t let it happen .     that confidence in ones own ability is something he envies as well as hopes to believe in ,  even if it’s childish ,  even if it’s vicariously through whoever gives it     (  if he trusts them enough for it to mean something to him  ) .     group activities that engage his sense of self before monsters existed offer a dual calm ,  one instilled by doing the activity itself ,  another by having someone else to verify  &  confirm his own behavior to him just by being there to respond to the familiar ,  human jacob that always existed before he ever had a reason to question it .

          a tragic irony is that when jacob is a wolf ,  most of these anxieties evaporate immediately  &  get replaced with a simpler experience of reality .     instincts sharpen the world ,  narrow it to focus ,  refine actions  &  reactions to the present moment in which fear is much harder to conceive ,  as fear by nature is based on theoretical what-ifs .     eventually ,  a healthier way to experience his own lycanthropy would be to accept all aspects of himself ,  both human  &  wolf ,  but with the entire invasion of the supernatural into his life so fresh ,  he’s desperate to cling to his own personhood ,  which is very much steeped in the version of him that didn’t even know werewolves existed ,  much less that he was one  &  what it means .

there’s no room to learn what kind of werewolf jacob black wants to be when he doesn’t feel like that’s something he ever got to choose ,  or ever will .     &  so ,  it remains something to fear ,  which means it remains something he cannot control .