#am going to visit my cousin tmr and got angry about his funeral again
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i think one of my biggest fears about dying isn’t actually dying, (although it is pretty scary to think about) it’s dying and then being remembered as someone i wasn’t.
#emyrs.txt#idk if this makes sense. ask 2 tag ig. idk if any of this is triggering#am going to visit my cousin tmr and got angry about his funeral again#idk i just feel like it’s so disrespectful to mourn someone that never existed in the first place#like. his parents mourning the person they wished he was instead of who he actually was. or mourning the potential for him to change#ig it’s valid or whatever but i still felt so mad about it#covering his tattoos and refusing to tell anyone how he died and refusing to let anyone know and having a catholic funeral like. ugh.#i didn’t even know him that well but i know he would’ve hated the suits and the music and the overalls formal and distant ceremony#over all****#like our situations aren’t the same but i wouldn’t want my family to pretend i was someone i’m not bc they thought it was embarrassing or bc#who i am didn’t fit their idea of what a good daughter or Proper Woman is.#if that makes sense
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