#idk how to explain it; it just gave me such a different outlook on life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ectonurites · 4 years ago

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can anybody please explain the appeal of tim drake because ive been into the batfamily for a while now and tbh im really confused on why people like his character so much compared to the other robins. like they all have their own thing going on and he just... doesnt?

Have you read his Robin solo? Because if not and you want to try to like him but just don’t understand why people do, that’s what I’d recommend. That and like, Young Justice 1998.

Because Tim definitely... does have his own thing going on. Maybe not in the same way as the others, but like, there’s a reason he has a 183 issue long solo comic that ran for like 16 years: he was fun to read about!

But I will give some more specific thoughts on the subject as a Tim Drake Appreciator™ (this got long im sorry)

The appeal of Tim (especially early on Tim) is kinda the fact that he’s this more normal kid. For a while that is his ‘thing’. He was basically designed to be a self-insert (he definitely became more than that along the way, but from the start he was meant to be relatable) in a different way than how Dick and Jason had been before him.

Like the role of Robin from the start was this way to create a character young readers could identify with more, could see themselves in more. And Dick and Jason did that, but they still had this element to their lives and stories that was more... unattainable for the average reader. Dick was a circus prodigy, Jason was either also a circus prodigy if we remember pre-crisis or if we go with his post-crisis story he’s this street-wise orphaned kid who had a really tough life but still went on to be a hero anyways. Obviously those lives are relatable for some people, but those’re definitely not as broadly recognized as common upbringings especially not by DC trying to market to the ‘average’ kid/young teen.

But the creation of Tim changed the game a bit. Dick and Jason were these aspirations a kid could look to like ‘wow I want to be cool like that!’ but Tim was a Robin designed for kids to look at and go ‘wow, his problems and civilian life are just like mine AND he’s a hero, I want to be cool like that!’, ya know? Tim was... just a clever kid with an average life who managed to connect some dots and had enough drive to want to fix things he saw were a problem, he didn’t have the same kind of heightened drama backstory the others did. The Robins that came after Tim definitely didn’t have this idea of relatability in mind the same way either. Unfortunately Steph’s time as Robin was much more of a marketing ploy than an actual like... decision to make her Robin, so it’s hard to really fit her into this conversation. But Damian from the start was first of all initially created not to be Robin but just as the son of Talia and Bruce back in the 80’s, but when he was later reimagined into the character that would become Robin he had the whole ‘raised by and is the heir to the league of assassins and is the son of batman’ thing going on still. He just was not supposed to be relatable that same way, he was a character designed with different things in mind.

I really think it was more just DC’s 90′s era younger-audience comics in general that tried to push that relatability thing (like in YJ how Cissie even after quitting the team stays a major character as a civilian throughout, and the civilian aspect that’s super present in Bart’s 90s solo too, etc), but later in the 2000’s that idea was definitely pushed to the side in favor of... putting in even more dramatic superhero-y stuff.

And the other thing that’s... such a more normal thing but it actually made him unique here, was that Tim’s dad was still alive until like 2004 (so 15 years into Tim being around as a character). This gave Tim a lot more typical ‘family school girlfriends normal life etc’ problems on top of/in contrast with his superhero problems. These just manifested in very different ways than they could with the other Robins because of that unique situation with a living civilian parent who doesn’t know about hero stuff (until he did find out which lead to that whole Unmasked thing, but there was only the brief time around War Games & Identity Crisis where Jack knew Tim was actively Robin and he was... still alive) Tim also had his life at school expanded way more than most other Robins, like, he had such an extended supporting cast of civilian friends which is a really interesting thing to read about (and the fact that he hasn’t had that stuff since the New 52 I think really hurts his character)

And then related to that loss of his dad... Personally another thing about Tim that really interests me is how a lot of things were more... his choice. if that makes sense. A lot of characters in the Batfamily were struck with tragedy/extreme trauma before they became heroes and that’s what spurred them into this life of becoming heroes. Tim’s situation wasn’t like that at all! When he first got involved in everything during Lonely Place of Dying, the only tragedy he’d experienced was watching Dick’s tragedy happen. Which sure yes traumatic obviously, but that’s not the same as how pretty much all the other Bats had gone through these very personal losses or other sorts of very first-hand personal traumas that served as motivators. Tim didn’t start to experience those things until after he got involved in the hero life, and aside from his Mom’s death which was more of just an unrelated incident (that technically happened before he was officially Robin but it was during his time training to become Robin), pretty much all these other tragedies and things... would not have happened or been experienced by him had he not become Robin.

That’s not me placing blame on him or anything like that, because god no that’s not how that works, but it’s very interesting because from his point of view he definitely feels that guilt because he knows him being Robin played a role in a lot of it (Thinking specifically about in Adventure Comics #3 when Kon even says “I know what guilt does to you” to him like it’s... it’s a thing with him!). His dad was murdered because he was Robin. He only met Steph and started dating her through being Robin, and thus he would not have experienced the loss of his girlfriend dying like that had he not been Robin. Tim met both Conner and Bart through being Robin, and would not have had a personal connection to them when they died otherwise. The whole Bruce’s death thing after Final Crisis, like. I could go on honestly, that was only talking about losses not even his own experiences nearly getting killed, but yeah, all these personal tragedies were experienced by him specifically because he chose to bring himself into this life, which I think in turn plays into how throughout his comics you see him go from having this really optimistic view on things and being really hopeful to seeing him at that low point he reaches by the time of Red Robin. (thinking about that one post that points out how Tim started out in the 90′s as an optimist and Steph a cynic and by the time they were Red Robin and Batgirl in 2009 they had switched outlooks...)

I also think that him having had such a great team book with the original Young Justice can help contribute to people liking him. His friendships with the rest of the core four and that team in general are really compelling. (and that’s something like again when looking at the other Robins, while Dick had the Titans ofc, Jason never really found footing with a team outside of like one mission with the Titans and then We All Know How Damian’s Teen Titans Stuff Went. Steph also only ever really worked with a team outside the batfam on very brief occasions) and even though I’m not as big of a fan of the 2003 Teen Titans run that came after YJ, people who read Young Justice and also that could follow and be attached to those same characters over a pretty decently long period of time.

Idk man, I don’t really have an ultimate point here i’m just rambling. I can definitely understand not seeing the appeal to him right away (honestly i’ve been into Batfam since like 2013/2014 and Tim did not become one of my faves until 2020) especially if like... idk when you say ‘into the batfamily’ that can mean a lot of different things. If you’re reading more like the bigger events with the batfam sure Tim can kinda fade into the bg a bit, if you’re more talking about fanon the fanon version of him is prettyyyyy uhhhhh not really the same as how he was in pre New 52 canon, if you’re mainly reading New 52 era Batfam stuff then that Tim I also don’t understand the appeal of bc thats Not My Boy, if you’re interested in a different member primarily and only familiar with Tim when he shows up in things focused on that other character then it’s easy to not really understand the appeal right away bc he’s more there to support that character rather than shine in his own right.

I think it’s also worth mentioning he’s just not everybody’s cup of tea, and that’s totally fine. Like, these are fictional characters and sometimes you just will vibe with a character and sometimes you won’t! idk if this helped at all or even made sense. but yeah. I just think he’s neat 😌

#Anonymous

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plutoswrath · 4 years ago

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This isn't an ask per se but I wanted to share my thoughts. I always felt conflicted between placidus vs whole sign system,okay..maybe not always. At first I didn't even look at WH. Placidus was like the golden rule for me bc it made sense at that point of my life, tat I didn't even consider any other alternative. I liked how it added a unique character to people's chart.Like not all cancer risings r the same bc they have diff house cusps, interceptions maybe and thus diff ways they react to life and it's experiences.

Placidus made me a 11H sun and that resonated bc There was a brief period of my life at that time where I was Funny, social, surrounded by many online friends. It was like the answer to why I always felt like my true self with friends and much happier than any other relations.

Years later,as if quick flash of a firework, all that fun n spark faded as friends drifted away and I was left all by myself.

At the same in my astrology journey, I learned abt many types of charts and different ways to practice astrology. After reading many compelling posts from experienced astrologers and people's experiences, I decided to try out WH.

At first I didn't resonate with it at all. Made me sun in 12h, with no planets in 11th. I was always an introvert with big imagination but I couldn't come to accept tat I am a 12H sun and a few other placements. But then again my IC made a lil more sense than placidus IC. Unable to choose between the two, I put it aside to use only for transits.

Until, this year I seriously gave WH a go for natals.and the more I use it, the more I can see it being right. I've also come to accept I very well could be a 12H sun. Maybe always has been, and that brief period of popularity could just be an exception from some wild solar returns.

In a weird timely coincidence, this is my 12H profection year. I've come to think if Maybe tats why I could come to face and accept my 12h ☀.Or maybe bc it reflects my current point in my life. If so, it'd be interesting to see if I would change my thoughts next year 😄.

Idk how to conclude this message prettily, I just thought it was interesting my 12H profection brought an era of peace with its coincidence and wanted to share this with you. I apologize for making it too long.

-🌻

Don't apologize please! I think it's so sweet that you decided to share that experience with me!

I personally think it's very normal that as we continue our practice of astrology, we will possibly grow to like and appreciate various methods of practice and also change them. The topic of which house system is best to use is a very common question I get and I think especially newbies asks themselves a lot, and I think it couldn't be better explained than with the example you gave: it's really just a preference that possibly changes over time as we as a person and our insights and outlooks on life change, our self and astrology changes as well, because at the end of the day, astrology is tightly bound to our method of interpretation and drawing conclusions.

I personally think that different house systems can give us a different and more versatile glimpse of ourself. I know there are people who can't relate with their or other people's natal chart when it's placed in a different house system, but I think as we never stop growing as a person (or better said, we shouldn't stop growing as a person), there is a high chance that possibly one day you will. Which is why I find it even funnier that you made your discovery for your fondness of the wh system in your 12th house profection year!! I think it's just another big indicator of how astrology ties our whole process of being and 'becoming' together! Comong back to my the use of different house system, for example in the wh system my Sun is in the 11th instead of the 10th (placidus), which I can understand at first, but given the fact my Sun is nearest to my MC, Chart Ruler is in the 10th and I have my Leo Venus in the 11th conjunct my North Nodein placidus, I can see a reflection of how important my friends and a community I belong to and can express myself in freely is to me. For me personally , it makes sense that maybe not every house system, but most can feel relatable to us, at least for to an extent! And of course, as we discover more of ourselves, we find other, more relatable and efficient methods to continue our search for self disovery and the discovery of the universe.

Loved your insight and experience, thanks again for sharing! x

#and sorry for rambling asdfghj #replies #anonymous

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thejustmaiden · 4 years ago

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Heyo, fellow Inuyasha fans! Happy Friday! This particular blog will serve as a collection of random thoughts I’ve been mulling over lately. Hope you’ll consider giving it a read. By the way, it’ll specifically pertain to the Sessrin ship. If that’s not something that is of interest to you, then no need to read any further. Whatever happens, I wanted to get this out before the sequel. Alrighty, let’s go!

I’m not sure many of us realize just how much fiction sparks public dialogue and shapes culture. There have been countless studies and research done to prove it, therefore this really isn’t up for debate. What the real question here should be is have we taken the time to fully contemplate and assess just how much fictional experiences are able to change or influence our perspective on real, everyday life? The visual arts are just one of many evolutionary adaptations that serve to give us more insight into one another’s mind. If our outlook on fiction contrasts with said insight, then perhaps some re-evaluating is in order.

Powerful works of literature such as 1984 and the beloved Harry Potter series are just two examples. George Orwell’s book contributed strongly to how readers viewed government and politics during that time, and to this day it’s a book that resonates with many. As much as Harry Potter is cherished all across the world, there are religious and academic institutions that condemn it or have even gone so far as to ban it. I may not agree with the extreme measures taken, but it’s fascinating nonetheless to witness the extent to which fiction can move and mobilize people for a cause.

The takeaway is that indicating fiction doesn’t have the power to create change in our everyday lives is misleading to say the least. So how exactly then can fictional stories that are, after all, completely made up affect society in such profound ways? It all lies in the power of the psychology of fiction. According to cognitive psychologist and novelist, Keith Oatley, who’s been researching the psychological effects of fiction for over a decade, he states that engaging with stories about other people can improve empathy and theory of mind. When we identify with these characters’ struggles, we begin to share their frustration for societal problems that plague them. These types of stories tap into our emotions more so than- believe it or not- nonfiction, and thus their effects inspire us and even have the ability to alter our worldviews.

I’ll be returning to that specific topic a bit later, but moving on for now!

It’s safe to say that I speak on behalf of the majority of antis. That being said, I first want to add that we are aware that sessrin shippers claim to agree that there was nothing inherently romantic that took place between Rin and Sesshomaru during their travels together. The thing is we have trouble believing you guys when you time and time again provide contradictory statements to defend your stance.

Voicing things like, “all signs point to Rin” and “it’s been foreshadowed” sends the exact opposite message of what you supposedly stand for and, if anything, confirms that you’ve had romance on your mind long before it would’ve been acceptable to come out with openly. You can’t just go along with what we say when it’s convenient to your argument and then back it up later with “who else but Rin.” How can the relationship you’re imagining be so obvious if they didn’t hint at it for the whole duration of the original series like we agreed upon? Elaborate on how we could’ve possibly come to such wildly different conclusions when we started AND left off with the same views for and throughout the series.

On top of that, making the excuse that we don’t speak for adult!Rin and that she has the right to make her own decisions once she’s old enough is a weak defense. Firstly, because we haven’t even met her. Secondly, because it’s unfair of you to assert that you know what’s best for Rin and then say we’re not allowed to just because it doesn’t align with your beliefs. I get that you feel protective over her character, but do recall that this adult version of her none of us have actually met yet. We have no idea what kind of woman she’s become, what her dreams or aspirations may be, and whether she’s married or even wants to be. I’m not against the idea of her falling in love, I just don’t think it’ll be with Sesshomaru. I guess I’m also a fan of the idea of her following in Kaede’s footsteps, because if anyone can grow up to be an independent, trusted, and wise leader of the community like her it’s Rin.

To make matters worse, way too many of you continue to celebrate the drama cd and profess that it was sweet that Sesshomaru basically promised he’d wait for Rin all while somehow ignoring the glaring grooming implications. Why do you only see what you want to see and fail to acknowledge that actual child grooming scenarios do in fact play out like this in real life? A high percentage of people who have been victims of grooming can attest to this. If Sessrin does go canon, all the sequel succeeded in doing to avoid the direct correlation with grooming was skip over the more questionable and dodgy portions of it. Take out the time jump, however, and you no longer have a loophole to cover up the scary unmistakable truth, which is that Sessrin and grooming are essentially one in the same.

No one case is identical to another so please don’t come to me with your “but how is it grooming if Sesshomaru didn’t manipulate Rin” refutes. Nobody knows what the hell went on during those years between The Final Act and this upcoming sequel. Based on everything exhibited so far- that is if we decide to recognize the drama cd like so many of you choose to do- Sessrin’s dynamic is eerily reminiscent of real life child grooming. Why else do you think a lot of us fans have a huge problem with it? It’s triggering for a reason.

Let’s be honest, Sesshomaru’s supposed love confession could’ve just been the first of many gestures like it. Who really knows, right? According to you shippers, a major shift in their relationship took place sometime during this critical period none of us got to watch unfold. I’m sure you all have explored the various ways this would’ve gone down in fan fiction and through other creative means of expression. Not to spoil the fun, but all I can’t help but wonder about is just how many of those supposed “cute moments” would’ve been as creepy and cringey as that proposal. Hundreds of thousands (possibly millions?!) of fans would undoubtedly agree with me, too. It seems to me this ain’t due to a mere difference of opinion. Taste is one thing, ethics a whole other.

By the way, in case you didn’t know, groomers don’t necessarily need to plan out every single move in order for their behavior to constitute as grooming. What we should be paying attention to instead is the fact that Sesshomaru made a conscious decision to act on his own selfish desire for a young girl who couldn’t have possibly known in that moment the magnitude of what he was asking of her. Why is it that a vulnerable Rin is put in a position that forces her to be the one responsible for making such a big, life-changing decision for the both of them? Yes, Sesshomaru gave her the choice and, yes, she doesn’t have to make it till later, but why on Earth is he coming to her with this well before a child her age is ready and mature enough to handle it? Even if his intentions are good (broadly speaking of course), his what you shippers probably call “innocent acts” are incidentally coercing Rin into reciprocating his feelings. Whether he planned for that or not, he’s at fault. Period.

That’s one way the power imbalance works. A child wants nothing more than to please the adult they look up to and adore, because they’re impressionable like that. Maybe Rin processes this like she’ll want whatever he wants, so that’s what she trains herself to believe- either right then and there or over time. Plus, if you really think about it, why wouldn’t she trust him if in her eyes he’s been nothing but good to her and that’s all she’s ever really known? (Psst! Charm is integral to the manipulative nature of grooming so it’s deceiving AKA manipulation can come off as praise or flattery.) Bottom line is that Rin is too young to have to think about this kind of deep stuff at all, and Sesshomaru shouldn’t have taken advantage of the power he had/has over her to influence a decision she was by no means prepared to hear about much less decide on. Your headcanons seem to imply that she’ll eventually have to choose though, and Idk about you but I rather not push my own fantasy agenda onto a underage girl regardless of how much I want it. Idc if she’s fictional, it wouldn’t feel right so why would I want to see that? My principals couldn’t ever allow for it.

Even if it wasn’t an official proposal, per se, it’s still disturbing to me that so many of you find joy in the thought of a grown adult male essentially waiting for a young girl HE KNEW to become old enough before pursuing her. I know this drama cd ain’t technically canon, y'all, but since this is literally the only source we have that may foreshadow a potential Sessrin to come, and it’s referenced a lot, I figured it still should be called out for exactly what it is- Grooming: 101!!!!

Just as I demonstrated above, fiction has the ability to make even the most inappropriate and uncomfortable situations be viewed in a favorable light when you put the right spin on it. *cough* Lolicon culture, need I say more? *cough* Despite what you may believe, the strategies fiction utilizes to explain themes/concepts can genuinely lead to how we perceive them, and ultimately to how we come to make sense of a similar event presented to us in real life. Especially if we have no prior experience with any of it and have nothing to compare something to, these perceptions can be dangerous yet still persuasive to certain fans- young ones in particular. The more narrative consistency across stories and different mediums, the more likely they’ll influence social beliefs. Minors don’t possess the same capacity as adults to think critically about the content they consume, and if we aren’t more careful about what we put out there then all of us will continue to face serious repercussions.

This is precisely why it’s crucial we persist in our fight against the rabid phenomenon of glorifying young girls in every sexual context imaginable. Just look at what something as seemingly harmless as fiction has the power to do. The scope of fiction is broad and far-reaching, and it’s about time we stop denying that fact and actually do something about it if we have the means to.

The truth of the matter is that we’re in desperate need of proper education and training programs on this issue in our communities. Families need to ensure their children have access to the necessary resources, but it isn’t just on them. ALL of us gotta do our part and ALL of us should be up for the task. It takes a village, right? If we do not properly discuss and address child sexual abuse (CSA) with our children and in public forums, including the internet, then we’re ultimately accepting incidents of CSA should they arise. Consequently, that also translates to indirectly accepting that the predators among us stay untreated and/or unpunished. That’s how the generational and societal aspect of the abuse can continue, and we must do everything in our power to secure our children’s future. Yes, even when it comes to fiction.

If you still somehow don’t think the Sessrin pairing has anything to do with grooming, allow me to break this down for you one more time:

1. If some of your fellow sessrin shippers say that a relationship like this in real life is harmful, then that should be pretty telling in and of itself.

2. Piggybacking off #1: if your only defense to that is “well it’s just fiction,” then you should ask yourself why you can’t ever come up with better reasons. Same goes for history and culture, so please stop using those to justify this relationship. None of the above can or should be applied since it’s already been established that fiction pervades our lives and vice versa.

3. If fellow shippers who are victims of grooming say they are drawn to Sessrin because it allows them in a way to “take back control” from their abuser so that they can better cope with past traumas, then they’re inadvertently admitting that Sessrin does possess qualities associated with the past child sexual abuse they underwent. AKA Sessrin is relatable for its abusive dynamic.

I have to ask by the way, but why do you get so offended when we don’t support your ship anyway? Is it because we interpret it to be controversial and you don’t like your ship getting a bad rap? Is it because it would be insulting to admit that antis actually have a point in it being problematic and you rather double down instead? Or is it because you’re projecting yourself onto Rin and prefer to not go into detail about why that is? Maybe it’s too personal, or maybe it’s because deep down you’re ashamed. Of course that doesn’t mean you’re bad people, but suppressing these kind of negative emotions can’t be healthy for anyone. A little awareness and self-reflection on your part can benefit not just you but all of us in the long run. Cognitive dissonance can suck, but it’s also part of being human.

I recently came across a comment I’d like to share with you. Unfortunately, this is not the first time nor will it be the last I see the likes of it. Anyway, in it a fan stated how embarrassing it must be being an Anti in this fandom when an episode like “Forever with Lord Sesshomaru” exists. Guys, this shipper and all those who liked their post are showing their true colors. Perpetuating and/or anticipating these sexualized images of young girls is a grave issue in both our society and media alike. I think we can all agree on that, or at least I hope so. It’s remarks like these that prove we still got a long way to go in terms of progress, and if we ever hope to effectively reverse some of our backwards way of thinking. So serious question for ya in regard to this: Why is it too much to ask that grooming be portrayed for what it is? Grooming. To clarify, grooming is bad and needs to be painted in a bad light. It’s as simple as that. If only we could all acknowledge it for what it is, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.

Historical accuracy and cultural differences aside, it appears the crux of the matter between Sessrin shippers and Antis is our acceptance and/or denial of fiction’s influence on real life. If we can’t agree on this, then we’ll never agree on anything else. As mentioned earlier, there is more than enough evidence to support the idea that fiction impacts our lives in extraordinary ways. I, for one, believe in the transformative power of stories. I think they do more for us than many of us give them credit for and/or are inclined to admit.

This is partially why I believe that the majority of sessrin folk are missing the point most of the time. All they do is focus on insignificant and irrelevant information that accomplishes nothing but more gaslighting and strawmanning. Whether it be an intentional or unconscious decision, whatever we argue goes right over their head. All they do is throw around deflections and antagonizing remarks that serve no real purpose other than to make Antis out to be the unreasonable and irrational ones. Making connections between our own lives and our stories is a completely natural and normal occurrence. If those particular shippers insist on denying just how interconnected real life and fiction both are, what that tells me is they’re either out of touch with reality or deliberately choose to be.

Just to be clear, I am of the opinion that most if not all antis aren’t real life predators. If they say they aren’t, I honestly take their word for it. Speaking to Sessrin shipper directly: We know it’s not Sesshomaru you want to be but Rin. No, we’re not calling you pedophiles or groomers. None of us think you are using a fictional ship to attract underage fans to be the Rin in your life or anything of the sort. We are well aware that many of you are self-inserting yourself as Rin, so please don’t feel the need to tell us yourself because that would be stating the obvious.

I learned from a few of you since this sequel was announced that the Sessrin relationship isn’t just a ship but an opportunity for you to confront the person who used and abused you. So there’s two issues with this I’d like to raise. (Sorry if I’m repeating myself, but it’s urgent I stress this again!) This is what I have to say:

If fiction does not affect real life or have the ability to normalize anything as you claim to believe, then why does “fixing” what happened to you via your preferred choice of coping associated with these two characters in the first place? Why bring your past abuse into this at all if at the end of the day it’s “just fiction” and nothing more to you but a source of entertainment?

By confessing that you use Sessrin to cope with your past trauma, you therein reveal that Sessrin does in fact resemble an adult-child relationship with a grooming dynamic. So why then would you want other fans to be exposed to a pairing that brings to mind the very abuse you endured? We’re supposed to stop this toxic cycle- NOT find more ways to manifest and relive it, much less subject other fans to it.

You may think that Sessrin doesn’t fit the textbook definition of what child grooming is, but that’s not to say it doesn’t embody it or that it doesn’t at the very least have traces of it that stand out.

“Antis are miserable people who don’t know how to enjoy a good story. It’s just fiction, stop ruining it for other fans!”

Well, no, it’s not just fiction or just a story. Some of you evidently went and proved that yourself, and without my help, by revealing how you relate Sessrin to your own life and apply it to cope with past abuse. Past abuse or not, as far as I can tell we’re all equally invested in these characters. That speaks volumes and just goes to show that fiction touches our lives in long-lasting ways.

I have something I want to say concerning some of who believe that it’s inconsiderate of antis who have been victims of grooming or another form of child abuse to tell other victims who ship Sessrin how they should cope with their trauma. Now as much as I respect the various means victims discover to deal with their painful pasts, there’s always an appropriate time and a place for these things to occur. We must seek out better ways to safely cope with the abuse we lived through (if any) without running the risk of hurting and endangering others.

There are plenty of fans in other fandoms who don’t try to defend their ships going canon, because they’re able to recognize an unhealthy or toxic pairing when they see one and won’t try to justify it. A Sessrin romance simply does not belong on a show geared towards teens, and I really don’t need to go into detail about why we shouldn’t support it, at least canon-wise. Shipping Sessrin is your right, but if you don’t keep it to yourself and your corner of the fandom then you really shouldn’t be surprised by the opposition. All we ask is you respect that their specific dynamic falls under the category of child grooming (or very close) and should be treated as such in public. The world of fiction may be wider than the world we live in, but that doesn’t always mean “anything goes.” In the creative spaces our minds occupy we must still adhere to the same fundamental and moral guidelines we live by in life. There’s nothing wrong with exploring new terrains and experimenting with ideas, but we must also remember that our stories are all about communicating and connecting with people. So let’s please be more mindful of the sort of messages they’re sending.

Besides, this isn’t only about you and what makes you feel safe, it’s about all of us. I don’t know how much more I can stress that really. How can thoughts endanger our children, you ask? Well, it’s not like we’re suggesting that our thoughts can jump out of our tvs, materialize themselves, and place kids under mind control. The forces behind fiction are a lot more complex and nuanced than a “monkey see, monkey do” approach, so don’t waste any more time trying to describe that to us. You’re taking this argument in the wrong direction.

Take the “violent video games breed killers” theory. I’m afraid you’re misconstruing what we’re saying and then taking it quite too literally. Please stop twisting our words, because nobody on our side is saying that just because you play violent video games that you’ll become a violent person. The Sessrin equivalent of that would be if you ship them then you must be a pedophile or turning into one. *sigh* I know you guys are feeling attacked, but I’m afraid your defensive nature is keeping you from thinking straight. Clearly, there are always exceptions (I’d recommend reading up on the Slender Man case), but Antis aren’t saying you’re one of them.

You see, it’s not so much about the content as it is the notion of the content. Kids and teens who are playing these video games have been informed that killing is wrong, because they grew up learning that early on like the rest of us. No sane person would advocate for violence and nonsensical killing in real life. Since they fully understand the severity of the consequences of killing a person in real life, they are able make a clear distinction between the two. When it comes to killing there is hardly any ambiguity. Sadly, that is far from the truth when it comes to sexualizing girls. It should immediately be perceived as wrong leaving no room for interpretation, and yet here we are still putting up with these inaccurate and demeaning female representations.

Most children who have been groomed don’t realize it till years down the road. If they aren’t ever taught the telltale signs to properly labeling grooming situations, how do you expect them to make sense of and relate to a fictional version? Let’s think of about it from a child’s perspective. Yes, this includes teens who rely pretty heavily on adult guidance and the content we put out there for them. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and picture that you’ve never had child grooming explained to you (because that’s just the reality for so many unfortunately). Wouldn’t you say it’s possible for them to deduce that what they see on their screens is how they come to discern something in real life, especially if they have little to no experience with it? Perceived realism is plausible, y'all.

What it comes down to in the end is that the ideas and emotions we cultivate behind these stories leave an impression on others. Impressions are capable of influencing the way we see the world, which in turn affects us and beyond just our imagination. The way I look at it, stories contribute to how and why we normalize certain beliefs and trends. If fiction reflects real life like most of us tend to agree, then wouldn’t you say Sessrin is a (in)direct result of this world’s tendency to place young girls in overly sexual or romantic environments? Where do you think fiction draws its inspiration from? Sure, some of it originates from our imagination, but most of what drives us to create these stories is the real world and the people who live in it.

Fiction is meant to mirror reality, but it’s ridiculous to suggest that it’s only a one-way street. That fiction in no way, shape, or form influences our reality? Or that it only works the other way around? With all due respect, that’s simply not true. No productive discourse can be had if we choose to ignore the truth and don’t come together (at least halfway) to tackle the real issues at hand.

Okay, I think I’ll leave it off there! Thanks so much for reading. I expect this to be my last blog on any topic regarding Inuyasha in the near future. As much as I’ve looked forward to answering all of your asks and writing all the blogs I have over these past almost 5 months, I think it’s best if I spend some time away for now. With the sequel fast approaching, I’m doing what I always do: hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I’ve met some amazing people along the way, that’s for sure. And who knows, maybe you’ll see me active in the tags sooner than we think. Until then, it’s been an absolute pleasure! Enjoy the sequel, all of you. 💜

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #it's been real y'all #catch ya on the flipside #(which I hope is in a promising sequel 🤞)

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topimagines · 5 years ago

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Tip Toes

Summary: I’m on my tip toes, trying to see past my ego. Reaching for something more than this feeling of being important. Leaving my heart behind is bleeding, but my pride is screaming. My future will listen to me, listen to me.

Warning: I wanted to write angst, but this came out. IDK how to label it. Listen to tip toes by half alive while reading. issa long one

Y/n had not dated much. Actually, she did not start looking for a relationship until her freshman year of college. By then there weren’t many people she talked to and considered a friend; therefore, the idea of dating someone, being close to someone that was not her friend, did not pique her interest. Around the time she met Brendon and Sarah, she had lost all hope in a romantic relationship. It almost seemed too good to be true, a truly happy relationship seemed unattainable.

This feeling came in waves, making her feel nauseous like she was on a boat in a hurricane. It became truly difficult to accept a happy reality that ended in kids of her own and a husband or wife, but she knew it was just about impossible. Her best friends were a married couple and a gay man (who was also in a happy relationship), they always rooted for her. But they didn’t understand, she was a twenty-something-year-old who had no idea how to even kiss someone. Everyone always told her (especially her friends) that it was admirable that she held out for so long like she was waiting for the right person or something.

In other words, y/n would describe herself as the biggest virgin on earth, and it genuinely was from a lack of trying.

It almost felt as if her own future didn’t belong to her.

Some days were better than others, just like the day Sarah asked her to come to hang out at her house. y/n had just gotten done with finals, so she had basically a month of sitting around and waiting for the Spring semester to finally start. Sarah and Brendon cuddled on the couch, y/n on the chair in the corner of the room actually watching the movie and trying to not pay attention to the couple that was no doubt finger banging each other under the blanket they shared.

“I think I should go,” y/n said, “I have to work in the morning so I can’t stay up too late.” She stretched her arms and legs when she got up from the chair. Sarah seemed to be frightened out of a daze when she looked up at her friend.

“Oh, okay!” Sarah chirped, pushing Brendon away from her, “Do you want me to walk you out?”

y/n shook her head, “no thanks, I’m fine.”

“Well… I’ll see you later?” Sarah asked. Y/n didn’t really want to. It wasn’t that she didn’t like hanging out with them, they always made her feel lonely. And sad. But mostly lonely.

“I don’t know, I have a busy week at the hospital; I will text you when I get time,” y/n said before bidding the couple goodbye and leaving the house.

Sarah looked at her husband, who had gotten entranced by the movie in the five minutes since he was trying to sneak his hand into her pants. “You are such an idiot.”

“What did I do?”

Y/n got home that night very confused about her feelings. Her brain was spiraling out of control with delusions of being married and having someone who would dote on her the same way Brendon did Sarah. At the same time, she never really paid attention to them behind the scenes, so maybe they’re dysfunctional and she never saw it.

That didn’t make sense, if she knew one thing about the couple, it was that they talked about everything. And Sarah told her everything, every fight they had, Sarah would go to y/n’s apartment and sit until Brendon sulked his way over.

Every time she thought about the couple, she got a weird sensation of butterflies in her stomach.

No, she thought, I am not developing a stupid crush just because I’m sad and lonely.

That night she couldn’t sleep; it didn’t help that she knew she did have work in the morning and the hospital was unforgiving when the lab techs were late. By the time she finally stopped swimming in her thoughts, she had dreams of her friends, holding her hand and kissing her on the forehead.

It was 6 AM before she knew it, and she had to get up and get ready for work.

Hopefully, tea would help wake her up before she got to work and did a piss poor job.

Y/n had never been more appreciative of the hospital. She had fond memories of staying there, almost dying, meeting so many different doctors that she just didn’t have it in her to leave.

Sarcasm, that was the key to understanding her outlook on life. Constant use of sarcasm.

But she would be lying if she said that today, and every day for the past week, she was so glad they had a week full of emergencies and a trip planned for a conference with Lab Technologists across the country. This trip would take her to Boston and all she could think of was the idea of seeing every museum she could for one full week and going to a conference full of people who had a thorough understanding of microbiology and hematology. It was almost enough to make her come in her jeans.

What she did not appreciate, was Brendon coming to visit her while she was supposed to be working. She had just gotten a lab sample to test for any drug she could when Brendon waltzed in with In N Out in his hand. He greeted her with a hug and handed her the bag.

“Sarah is at work,” he sighed, “she doesn’t get a lunch today because she’s busy or something, so I thought I’d visit my bestie.” She was too distracted to notice what he was saying. Brendon tried to call her name, the third time she snapped.

“What do you want?” she half yelled, looking away from her specimen.

Brendon looked taken aback; he didn’t even know how to reply when he has never seen her so angry before. Her coworker, a younger man by the name of Jeremy Ren, looked up from his microscope and stepped over to her area.

“L/n, you go take your lunch break, I’ll take care of this shotgun,” he took the test tubes and brought them back to his microscope with him, still eyeing the two.

She scoffed and stomped out, ditching her lab coat at the door. She led Brendon to the hospital cafeteria and sat down with him in the corner.

“What’s wrong? You usually aren’t so…” Brendon trailed off, “Are you still being overworked? Have you talked to your boss about time off?”

Y/n shook her head, “I’m just… fine, I’m fine.” Internally, she cringed. If she talked to him about it, maybe she could resolve the war she had inevitably put herself into.

But the idea of not telling him anything was far more appealing. Nothing had to change.

“Are you sure? You look tired, have you been sleeping?” He reached over and grabbed her hand, tracing his thumb over her knuckles.

God, Brendon, she thought, Stop being so caring, it’s not helping my situation. She pulled her hand away and tucked it under her pants. This couldn’t happen. She did everything she could to give herself a reason not to develop a stupid crush on the man in front of her. She could only come up with two.

1. He’s married to her best friend

2. He definitely wouldn’t see her the same way

Number two made her heart bleed. Not literally, she knew the severity of an actual bleeding heart, she worked in a hospital for Christ’s sake. But if she were to imagine the pain, this would be it.

“I’m just… excited for this trip to Boston next week,” she confessed. It wasn’t a lie by any means, she stayed up all night a month ago when she heard she was going on the trip, planning what she wanted to pack. This didn’t change the stare he had on the table where her hand used to be, and his hand still sat.

“Oh, that is coming up, isn’t it?” he put a smile on his face, trying to quickly recover from whatever feeling he felt. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit off today. We haven’t seen you all week, we miss you at the house.”

She frowned. There was an impulsive need in her to put her hand back and comfort him. But she knew she shouldn’t do it because she knew it would only make her feel worse.

“I’ve been busy with work, had a lot of emergencies and stuff,” she explained, “I’m free this weekend, I’ll try to come over before I leave for the airport on Sunday.” That was not what she wanted to say, why did she say that?

“Sounds like a plan!” he seemed happy with that suggestion though, so maybe she didn’t have anything to worry about. “How has your week been, then? What kinda emergencies did you get?”

She and Brendon talked for a while, she told him about the guy who came in with necrotic tissue on his arm from heroin, and he told her about his charity live stream and how proud he was of everyone who donated.

Watching him so happy as he explained what happened, she felt herself swooning. They sat in silence for a few moments after he finished speaking, both focused on eating their food. One of the surgical nurses walked passed them with a smile on her face.

“Y/n, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend!” Brendon smirked and opened his mouth to explain that they weren’t a couple, but the nurse continued on, “you’re always going on about how lonely you are! It’s nice to see you’re finally getting out there.” Y/n’s eyes were wide, and a blush crept across her cheeks.

“Uh… thank you, Andrea,” she said with a shaky voice.

“So proud of you, my dear,” Andrea smiled brightly t the two before she walked away, bidding them goodbye.

“You’re lonely?” Brendon asked when Andrea was out of earshot.

y/n couldn’t speak as she stared at her fries, the only response she gave was a small nod.

“Why are you lonely? You never date… or expressed a desire… to date.” Damn you, Sarah, she thought, that was supposed to be a secret.

“well… lately, it’s been a bit different,” she sighed, “I’m almost 30, I’ve never been on a real date or…. Done anything, really. I thought I’d at least have a boyfriend by now.” That was easier to get off her chest than she thought.

“You’ve never done anything? Not even like… a kiss?” Brendon knew he was badgering her now, but this was so unbelievable to him. She was so smart and beautiful; how could anyone look passed her?

She shook her head, eyes still on the fries that were no longer steamy, “Can we drop it please?”

Brendon took in the shakiness to her tone and decided to drop it like she asked. This topic would definitely come up later with Sarah, though. He had so many more questions.

When they parted ways after lunch, Brendon couldn’t hold back a smile as he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. She blushed harder than she had at lunch when she said bye to him. No one, besides her parents and grandparents, had ever kissed her on the cheek.

She kind of liked it.

Sarah told Brendon everything he wanted to know. She didn’t know why, at first, but he explained what happened during lunch.

“But you can’t badger her or make her feel bad,” Sarah emphasized, “She always felt self-conscious about it, even after we became friends.” Brendon understood, even though he never had to deal with stuff like that. He had lost his virginity early on, and everything just came naturally after that.

“I would never.”

“So, what’s with you never dating anyone?” He had promised not to pry, but now it was late at night in y/n’s apartment and he had more than a few drinks in his system. Sue him, he wanted to hang out and she brought out the wine.

“I just… don’t do it?” y/n had a few drinks in her too, the wine was making her feel like being truthful. If she were sober, she wouldn’t be telling hi anything, but maybe she needed to get it off her chest? Drunk y/n thought so, anyway. “I didn’t get my first boyfriend until my freshman year of college, and before that, I only had minor flings with girls from my school. I don’t know, dating always makes me anxious.”

“And you’ve never done anything?” He knew her answer already. This was beginning to get repetitive and even drunk y/n was fed up with it.

“Why do you keep asking that?”

“Because it’s… it’s so rare! You’re like a unicorn!” he laughed at his comparison. She shook her head, she felt kind of offended, but she knew what he was saying. He hadn’t meant it to be an insult at all, he was kind of proud of her, even with pressures that a woman date and be married by her age, she didn’t feel that. She was unabashedly herself.

He didn’t know what came over him when he opened his mouth next, “I mean, I can always help you.”

y/n looked into his eyes, and she swore that if she were a meme, she would have question marks floating around her head. “What?”

“I mean if you ever want your first kiss… or something else… I can always help you,” he didn’t know why he was saying it, but he couldn’t help but offer. The offer was outlandish, yes, but he knew Sarah would be alright with it. She had mentioned before how much she liked y/n, in a more than platonic way.

Before this whole topic came up, Brendon was planning on asking her to be their third, if she wanted to be. However, she told him she hadn’t dated someone very seriously.

“But… wh- h- Sarah?” y/n was blushing, her face and ears were bright red. This was not how she expected this to go.

“She would want to do the same thing, she has a thing for you,” drunk Brendon was an honest Brendon, apparently, “was gonna ask you if you wanted to go on a date with us the other day but obviously I didn’t.”

Y/n didn’t know what to say. Like, of course, he had to do this when she was drunk and couldn’t very well keep her thoughts to herself.

“Um…. Are you asking me now if I want to go on a date with you and Sarah?” y/n asked.

“Well, that wasn’t my first question,” Brendon leaned closer, and cupped her face with his left hand, “Tell me to stop if you want me to stop.” He continued leaning in, slowly but surely. He waited for her to protest; when she didn’t say anything, he finally connected their lips. If he were to compare all of his other kisses to the one right then, she wouldn’t be the worst. She was inexperienced, but her lips were soft and tasted like peppermint from her seasonal chapstick.

When she pulled away, he almost chased after her.

For the rest of the night, he explained the logistics of kissing, and eventually, they both fell asleep on the couch after he went on the the longest tangent on what kind of guitar he would get now that his “cream dream" was gone.

She left for Boston after saying goodbye to Brendon or Sarah. She had also talked to Robert (her other best friend) the day before the trip; he yelled at her for not telling him right away about everything that had been happening. To be genuinely honest, she needed this vacation after her night with Brendon.

It was a relief when Brendon left in the morning after they had kissed. The memory of her first kiss still burned in the back of her mind, but she didn’t want to focus on that. Right now, it was her time to relax.

That was until Brendon texted her asking what hotel she was at. She told him, just assuming he wanted to make sure she got there safe. Why would she think anything else?

She should have thought of something else. Now she was sitting in her room, scrolling through the TV when she heard the knock at the door.

He didn’t, she thought, please tell me he didn’t.

She opened the door and saw the couple standing in front of her with giant smiles on their faces.

He did.

“what are you doing here?” she said instead of greeting them.

Sarah let herself in, “we wanted to surprise you! You’ve wanted this vacation for a while, and we thought you’d want company!”

She really didn’t want company, but she put a smile on her face anyway.

After spending the whole week with Brendon and Sarah, y/n was exhausted. She only got a real break from the two when she was at the conference. They had both wished her luck that morning and went back to giggling under the blankets of their shared bed.

Now she was back in Los Angeles, and she was so fucking happy to go back to normal.

However, they didn’t necessarily go back to normal. Brendon spent a lot more time at her apartment than he used to. He started to initiate cuddling, press kisses to her cheek and hairline, and hugging her more than he used to. She started to see more of Sarah, as well. She did it more subtly. She bought y/n drinks and take her to fancy restaurants, surprises her with jewelry and takes her shopping, anything really.

All y/n wanted was for one of them to say something.

And when she least expected it, Brendon did.

“Have you ever wanted to lose your virginity?” Brendon asked during a movie one day. y/n shrugged, she couldn’t say she was surprised, she knew he would ask eventually.

“I guess,” she sighed, “its just not something I really let myself think about. I never thought anyone would… y’ know, want to. And I’m 28, no one wants to date a virgin at my age.”

“Don’t say that,” he took her hand in his. Recently, it had been his sign of comfort to lace his fingers with hers and rub his thumb along the back, “I already told you, me and Sarah love you…”

y/n couldn’t look up at him, she only stared at her fingers. She didn’t say anything, either.

“you never answered, you know,” he whispered, “let us take you on one date. A fancy restaurant, or a movie, whatever makes you least anxious.”

y/n shook her head. The feeling of drowning, even before saying yes, was obvious. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and had to remind herself how to focus on the feeling of his hand in hers.

“or, we can keep it low key, not label it… just the three of us?”

“um… okay..” y/n thought, “no labeling, just… just us. Let’s go see the new Jumanji.”

“That sounds perfect,” Brendon smiled down at y/n.

Maybe her future did belong to her.

#brendon urie fanfiction #brendon urie #brendon urie imagine #brendon urie x reader #sarah urie x reader #sarah urie imagine

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dear-yandere · 5 years ago

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lots of ilya (oc) q&a below - part 2

tw. heavy and graphic mentions of noncon and murder (typical ilya stuff), mentions of childhood abuse.

[ part 1 ] [ part 3 ]

question: So, would Illya still like being murdered by his darling if the darling was immortal? Like he can shun the darling, but how would he feel if that darling surprise-attacked him?

answer: betrayed, at least in the first few moments. there’s something particularly romantic, to him at least, about a darling who loves him so dearly they’d go against his wishes and still reward him with the highest form of love he thinks anyone has to offer - death. he’d certainly like being killed by this type of darling, and being the little shit he is, he’d mock them in his last moments; after all, they just killed the only other person that could possibly understand the reality of murderous love.

“is this worth being alone for eternity, darling?”

question 1: How would Ilya feel about a darling that is an assassin for the mafia? Would he view them as more exciting prey since they can fight back? I feel like assassin darling might view his attempts on their life annoying especially if it’s during a hit.

question 2: How would illya feel about an assassin darling? Would he find them interesting because they are capable of fighting back?

answer: ilya would no doubt find this darling intriguing; it’s not everyday he somehow manages to court an assassin, especially one that’s after his head. it’d be a game of cat and mouse, one where he’s likely to lose given that he isn’t a mastermind. he can’t keep his game going for long, not against someone who’s literally trained to kill evil men like him. considering how lax he is about who he courts and kills, ilya no doubt has a bounty over his head among the underworld. one wrong kill and the next thing he knows, the mafioso father of his last lover is hellbent on rearranging his guts. it’s not an easy life, and that makes it all the more fun to toy around with an expert killer while he has the chance.

question: I can't get this outta my head ever since that one ask where ilya would be happy if his darling successfully kill him and I was thinking would he come back as a ghost because yeah he's happy that someone "loves" him but wouldn't he still have this hatred towards the world that makes his soul unable to move on? OR a better one is one of his darlings coming back as a ghost haunting him??? Idk these ideas have been rattling in my head for a while and I'm wondering your perspective on it.

answer: so ilya is actually set in a different world than every other oc i’ve made, so there’s nothing supernatural at play here. but if there was, he’d be annoyed that he’s come back as a ghost after such a wonderful display of love from his darling. what’s done is done and he’d rather just move on.

funny thing is, when i was originally playing around with the concept of ilya, my first thought was a ghost! darling who continually haunts him long after he’s killed them. perhaps they whisper totally unsexy things to him while he’s in the heat of the moment...and of course he can’t do anything about it.

i wonder if they’d drive him mad enough to consult an exorcist or something...

question: what if... ilya’s darling accidentally killed someone though? out of self defense they strike someone down with a bit too much force and end up killing them, what if it’s a coworker that maybe ilya feared his darling might have caught feelings for. would he read it as his darling being in love with the man they killed? would he misread the whole ordeal? what would he do?

answer: as a victim of abuse and assault himself, he understands the important distinction between ‘love’ and defense. in fact, the shattering mentality of a darling who’s just had their first kill would be a welcome change for ilya. will they ask him for help? what will they do -- what sort of fun mental hoops will they jump through? how long will it take them to break? will he even have to intervene, or should he just watch as they slowly fall apart?

even if he feared his darling has caught feelings for someone else, he isn’t all that fussed so long as that darling is smart enough to give him what he wants when he wants it. in the end, they’ll die at the hands of his suffocating love anyways; darling’s wavering affections really make no difference when it comes to their fate.

question: honestly Ilya is such a wonderful character to me because he's the absolute opposite of everything I believe in. Like I think hurting others BC you've been hurt is the most egotistical disgusting thing u can do and hypocrites make my blood boil. I don't even wanna b his partner in crime or his lover but I'd LOVE to just sit down w him and have a nice discussion about our morals lol

answer: this isn’t a question but i’m including it here because i’m lazy but -- i completely agree! even as his creator, i find new paths to explore with him every day; messed up characters like him, especially killers, are so interesting to explore and pick apart their psyche.

a bit off topic, but i think you may find the ted bundy tapes on netflix of particular interest. you get a glimpse into someone that i, more than once, found myself basing ilya off of.

question: How does Ilya decide how long he wants his Darling to stick around before he kills them?

answer: whenever he feels his darling would suffer the most! every darling is different, of course, so it’s really up to his discretion. if his darling is the type to take things slow, he’ll likely kill them the first time they have sex as it’s so fun to betray their trust in such a way; on the other hand, if his darling is more sexually-outgoing, he’ll simply kill them when they least expect it -- perhaps going so far as to assault them without consent, all the while calling them derogatory names and proclaiming they practically begged him for this. his favorite part of murdering his beloveds is catching them off-guard -- it always makes for the best expressions and death screams. if he’s feeling particularly sadistic, he’ll slit their throat right before they cum; there’s always that quick flash of surprise followed by betrayal and finally...realization.

question: out of curiosity, did you make ilya sex-crazed as a side effect of his childhood abuse? kids who were abused tend to act impulsively (ex: drugs, unsafe sex), among many other things. if not, that’s a wild coincidence, but if so, thank you for being attention to the effects of childhood abuse on a person.

answer: that’s exactly it! i was going to explicitly mention this in his character post, but i didn’t want to offend anyone and risk anons telling me that “not all victims react like that”...even though i have firsthand experience with this topic (not childhood abuse, but i don’t intend to go more in-depth).

anyways, i really wanted to create a character who shows the extreme end of the coping spectrum; rather than becoming quiet and reserved and fearful, there’s still that underlying fear but it manifests as ‘outgoing’ / impulsive behavior, though ilya’s case is obviously particularly extreme. in a way, he became the monster he hated in order to get the ‘sweetest’ form of revenge -- that’s why he knows how much of a hypocrite he is. he knows that better than anyone, but this is the only way he’s found that’s helped him ‘cope’ while also ‘getting back’ at those he hates -- the adults who did nothing to help him and in, some cases, led to his messed up outlook on life. this sentiment eventually extended to a misanthropic hatred of every adult he comes across; having spent his entire life faking himself and being the perfect charming good-boy his parents wanted, wooing anyone he sets his mind to is now fairly easy.

now i’m no expert on serial killers, especially ones with traumatic sexual experiences, but i’ve had yet to see a yandere oc who can relate to assault survivors while also managing to be so hypocritical and abnormal to this extent. in a way, ilya is very very close to my heart and i enjoy the feedback he’s gotten! i think the obsessive love that comes with yanderes ties in nicely with his contradictory character; his love is suffocating, just like the “love” of his teacher and the lack of love from his parents. his story is one of tragedy -- the famous modern-day (still debating if i should set this in the 1800s) Jack the Ripper, an enigma who keeps everyone at a distance because he himself is too terrified to admit the monster he’s become. he’s a character meant to be so outrageous and morally-corrupt and yet so frighteningly human.

enough of my rambling though, i’m glad you caught this and gave me a chance to further explain my thoughts on him! thank you dearly :]

#oc questions #*ocs #ilya #tw noncon #tw murder #tw abuse

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fymeetrasurik · 7 years ago

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Star Wars: Catalyst-A Rogue One Novel-Review

I actually read this like, a long time ago XD. Like in the lead up before Rogue one came out. So.... Very late.It did have many things I wanted to touch on though, and honestly it’s been one of my favorite books in the new canon so better late than never!

Plot: In the final years of the clone wars, it is decided that a weapon must be constructed to end the conflict. Krennic, and ambitious social climber has his eyes set on the head of the table, and lucky for him, he happens to know the perfect scientist who can launch him into relevance. So begins a game of careful placation as work on the greatest weapon the galaxy has ever known is underway.

So I just figured out how the bullet system works, and I think it’s the best way for me to get out my points XD here we go!

Galen Erso-The book does such an amazing job at flushing out his character. Really it made him one of my favs. He’s very akin to the scientists who worked on the atomic bomb in our own world. He’s a pacifistic who did his best to free himself from either the republic or the separatists, and so the entire book is a blend of making sure he doesn’t know what he’s working on, or finding a way to convince even him that this is for the best. It’s a fascinating game of mental maneuvers. Beyond that even, his mild mannered and thoughtful personality was really endearing as you can tell how much is going on in his head, but yet he still takes time to be a loving husband and father. His state of being is written so well.

Lyra Erso-Boy howdy, if you read this book for nothing else, read it for Lyra. We got to know so little of her from the movie, but reading the book you can so see where Jyn got a lot of her fire from. Lyra is intense, and passionate, which creates a great contrast to Galen. She’s the one who begins to suspect the empire is up to no good, and then the story becomes this almost tug of war between her and Krennic over Galen. She knows the dangerous water they’re working in and is doing her best to keep Galen tethered while also raising Jyn. The quickest way I can describe her is that she’s a space hippie and I mean that with love. She has an interest in Geology which plays a important role in the story, and she just has a no nonsense kind of attitude that’s really easy to fall in love with. In many ways it’s her story more than Galen’s as she must walk a fine line in a dangerous new world.

Orson Krennic- Loved him in the movie, and honestly the book makes him even better. In a world of Vader’s and sith, I think Krennic is a really interesting villain, because he didn’t have to be. He’s dangerously ambitious, but at the same time he’s in over his head. He’s created a weapon of mass destructive as a way to climb the ladder. Like he cares more about getting a high status and recognition than he does about the death star itself. He’s a sociopath in the truest sense as he’s very charming and manipulative. Throughout the story, he’s never antagonistic to Galen, handling him with kid gloves and giving the Erso’s everything (in his mind) that they could ever want. Again the conflict he has with Lyra as both fight for Galen is some of the best parts of the book. He’s just a fascinating villain to me, he comes across very blue collar, like he’s worked his whole life, going from nothing to something and still it’s not enough. He won’t be satisfied until he’s adviser to the emperor himself.

Tarkin-Speaking of villains, oh my word Tarkin is perfect in this. I never knew how much I needed him to have a catty drama and rivalry with someone else in the empire until I read this book. His relationship with Krennic is just the best as they both spend the last half of the book trying to screw each other over while playing polite in conversation. It’s awesome. It’s like every workplace beef you’ve ever seen, on a galactic scale, it’s so petty it’s wonderful.

Has Obbit- A smuggler who is just, a hundred percent done with all this. Early on he is roped into Krennic’s scheme to win over Galen and he spends the rest of the book just under his thumb and he’s just like why has this happened. He’s so easy to relate to of just getting screwed over by powers bigger than him, and honestly I’d like to see him in more stuff!

End of the Clone Wars- So spoiler, but about a third of the way into the book we see the end of the war on a street level. The Erso’s are literally running from battle droids and are seconds from being killed when the droids shut down. I adored this moment. Firstly its interesting because we know what happened more than the characters do, Anakin just murdered all the sep leaders. What I love about this the most, is fate. Star wars always does such a good job of, if this didn’t happen this way at this time it would all have gone to hell. So many things had to lead up to their defeat, a million chances the force took. In a way, Vader saved the Erso’s lives, and without them, the death star could never have been destroyed and by extension, neither would the empire have ever fallen. Little details like that I just love.

State of the Galaxy-My FAVORITE, world buildy thing of the book. I am a huge fan of how canon star wars has dealt with the rise of the empire and how it was viewed by the people, and little details are sprinkled in this book that are some of my fav in all of star wars. Even after the war is over, Krennic explains about sep hold outs and terrorist groups still causing havoc in the outer rim.Eventually it’s how he convinces Galen about the death star as a matter of security. Given how awful the clone wars were, you can hardly blame people for wanting security and being afraid of Seps’ who just couldn’t let it go. Politically, I think this is brilliant, because it basically justifies the empire on a average person level. Wars have a hard time at ending, and that’s especially true on a galactic scale. Spinning this vague threat of Seps who never gave up the fight is a perfect boogeyman. Suddenly, your fighting terrorists rather than freedom fighters and those who joined the empire in those 19 years after the war? They might have seen that as ending the conflict their parents died to stop. Like this twists it so the rebellion isn’t something new, but rather the ghost of something thought to have been put down decades ago. It wasn’t a galactic civil war, it was clone wars round 2. Some of the canon doesn’t get this across very well, but the clone wars was not just clones and droids. It was one of the worst wars in history, leaving trillions dead. The horror of that is hard to imagine, and so can you not see someone signing up to the imperial academy with pride, knowing that whatever they do, it’s in the name of stopping something like that from happening ever again. Palpatine moves, were utter brilliance. Scaring the galaxy from opposing him as no matter how bad things get, at least they aren’t as bad as they were. It’s one of my favorite lore bits in all of star wars and makes everything feel so much more real.

Aliens- I love how all of the books get to play more with Alien characters. Has is one and it’s fun. The opening of the book is the Erso’s imprisoned on an alien world but kinda being welcomed into the culture at the same time and it’s fascinating. Detail is given to their architecture, customs, celebrations and so on and I am just a sucker for all of that. Galen has an old University friend whose a Mirialan whom I love. She’s a professor and Idk why but I just really liked her. More of this in star wars please, like for the love of god, some of the canon stuff is making me wonder why we even have aliens in this universe if they’re just gonna be set dressing.

Construction of a Battle Station- In a book about the death star you’d expect a lot to be told about how it was made and the book delivers. I for one loved the detail ha, as it’s gone into how it was built and by who. Design choices and setbacks which itself were my fav parts of this. The setbacks really humanize the story and play into the ruthlessness of the empire. Experimentation with a crystal destroys a city? Blame it on a reactor leak. A group of scientists have outlived their use? Use them as practice for the laser. In fact this becomes a detective part of the story. A brilliant detail to me was that there were several cells of scientists working on the death star, each with their own focus. Shielding, gravity, containment, the weapon itself. All were under different code names and all were working on the same thing and most didn’t know it. So as scientist friends of the Erso’s start disappearing and Lyra starts putting things together, it’s a really tense situation to follow.

Baby Jyn- Baby Jyn is super adorable. It’s weird because with this book and Jyn’s own Rebel Rising, we pretty much know her whole life from cradle to Scarif. Which is a little sad. Regardless, her addition helps to flesh her out and makes that ending gut punch hit harder.

Playground- There’s a star wars playground in this. Like with kids and everything. There’s something called a grav slide and they don’t explain it but I want it.

Saw- Saw is in this and it’s interesting to see his journey from clone wars to what we see him become in Rogue one.

Geology- Alright I’m a super nerd but there’s a part where Lyra and Jyn go off to survey a planet looking for crystals and idk I just found that super interesting.

Geonosians- Are used for construction of the death star and it was interesting to see how they switched sides. We also get some insight into their culture and methods. Like apparently when working on a project it’s totally normal for them to just start killing each other sometimes which is rad ha.

Jedi- It’s an interesting perspective this book gives because the Jedi are lost pretty quickly and so the outlook on them is negative in universe with everyone all “those traitors rargh!” with Lyra as the voice of that can’t be true. She has a reverence for the force I find super interesting and it plays into her hippieish. She’s very spiritual and used to spend time in the Jedi gardens which I didn’t even know was a thing. I love seeing how normies interact with the force and how it can still play a role in their lives.

That’s all I got at the moment! If it’s not clear, I really loved this book. It was written by James Luceno who wrote motherfucking Darth Plagueis from legends otherwise known as the best star wars book ever. He has such an amazing talent for linking the universe together in a way that makes it feel alive and there’s no better world builder in the game. I’m a sucker for that so I just had a wonderful time and read it pretty non stop. I’d place it fairly high in my list of canon books, so if all this sounds interesting, give it a read! It adds to Rogue One while also telling it’s own very compelling story with some amazing characters. That’s it from me ha! May the force of others be with you!

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eternlmisery · 7 years ago

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So... Charmed is getting a reboot (by the CW)

For those of you who don’t know what “Charmed” is, it is a fantasy/supernatural tv series that run on WB from 1998 to 2006. It focused on three sisters who after the death of their grandmother find out that they are witches. Throughout the show we see them get their powers, learn to use them, fight demons, warlocks, face real-life problems, grow, fall in love, get married, experience loss. And all of that as they struggle with their magic and protect humanity on a daily basis. I think that the core of the show is the sisters, Piper, Phoebe, Prue and Paige and their love for each other and the innocent people that they protect.

“Charmed”, along with “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” were two of the first female-lead tv series back in the day and everyone loved them so much. I know that people in my country loved watching "Charmed” and still do. It has so much magic and at the same time it is so refreshing and realistic because we have these characters that could be anyone and at the same time are so unique because of their magical abilities.

And now, 12 years after the last episode they decided to take that iconic series and reboot it.

-FROM NOW ON IS MY OPINION AND LARGE ANALYSIS-

First of all, *sigh* there won’t be a reboot with the real cast. So there goes my heart. Second of all, it’s on the CW from what i have headrd... And if you don’t know why this is a problem... just search “anti-CW” on tumblr and you’ll see. (In an article i saw paramount pictures so idk what is up there).Third, the description. THE DESCRIPTION.

"This fierce, funny, feminist reboot of the original series centers on three sisters in a college town who discover they are witches. Between vanquishing supernatural demons, tearing down the patriarchy, and maintaining familial bonds, a witch's work is never done."

First off, "feminist” and “tearing down the patriarchy”. What is this supposed to mean? I’m not saying it in the way that feminism or tearing down the patriarchy doesn’t matter or i don’t understand it but... is there a point of these being in the description of the show? Why is everyone trying to re-make incredible old tv series or movies into 2018 GARBAGE. And it’s pretty much 100% certain that they will fuck up in portraying feminism and tearing down the patriarchy in 2018 , as well as the original “Charmed” did in 1998. The thing is that I am scared that the whole plot will be centered around that. “Oh men are trash, women are here to save the day, fuck patriarchy and fuck guys we are the best”. That will not be feminism, but misandry. Aka hating men. Cause y’all know they are going to put men as scumbags and as the villains just to highlight how much better the women are. Because of course there are a LOT of scumbags but not all of them and the show has the responsibility to show the reality of a situation.

Enough with my overthinking and panicking.

Let’s take an example of a shitty 2018 reboot with Heathers. There is representation (plus size students, Asian students, gender fluid students, Jewish students, black students) but... it’s not the right kind. They play the bad guys and they are super cliche in the wrong and most twisted way from what i have seen. And it’s... so bad. The villains are a plus size girl, a black lesbian and a gender fluid guy and the good guys are a white blonde girl..? What is this supposed to pass onto the audiences? Where is the good and healthy representation?

Also the Ghostbusters reboot portrayed Chris Hemsworth’s character as a man who was dumber than a pile of bricks, another way to put the spotlight on the women.

“Charmed” never needed to do that. It didn’t need to force anything on the viewers and it didn’t need to make the male characters assholes just to show how amazing the sisters were. Piper had Leo who was super supportive and an amazing character and helped them through all the seasons. Prue had Andy, Phoebe had Cole... well... he was half good? And Paige had Henry who despite being a mortal was always there for her and accepted her just the way she is. Of course there were shitty guys just as there were shitty women in the show.

But the point is that “Charmed” was a show that:

1. was feminist without being misandristic

(Also Penny Halliwell, Grams, believed they didn’t need men but sees how her granddaughters have surrounded themselves with good ones so don’t take this quote the wrong day)

2. Gave the sisters love interests which almost all the time accepted them and didn’t hold them back from being independent and themselves. That also goes for the men in their life in general (Victor, Darryl)

The biggest example of this is actually Leo, who was the sisters’ whitelighter who fell in love with Piper. Throughout the show he is there not only for his wife but for the sisters too and he helps them every way that he can, as they are now his own family. He has faith in them and their abilities and he believes in them more than themselves sometimes. Also of course he is sometimes the one that is saved by the sisters just as he saves them.

Also Victor, who seemed like the absent asshole dad in season 1, came back and redeemed himself, explaining the situation and building a relationship with his daughters as much as he could.

Case point #3: Darryl Morris. The Police officer who risked everything for the sisters and despite being super suspicious of Andy, he himself protected the sisters and helped them any way he could so they could save innocent people. Of course he was a human and he had weaknesses and he pointed out a lot of times how wrong it was for him to go against the law practically, but he knew what the sisters were doing was more important.

3. showed the struggles of magic vs family, friends, career, relationships

We see Prue struggling with her job before realizing what her passion truly was and she realized that her true calling was photography after she got her powersand Phoebe finding a purpose with her column and Paige quitting her job to be a full-time witch and Piper and P3 and later her restaurant (in the comics).

Piper trying to get pregnant and finding out that she actually couldn’t get pregnant easily because of all the fighting they do, Phoebe searching for true love, Prue losing Andy. We see Piper’s journey from her first meeting with Leo, to finding out that he is a whitelighter to getting together to the elders forbidding them from being together to their marriage and... just their whole life story until they are gray and old.

Phoebe has her love story with Cole who is a whole different thing, but it came to show how Phoebe grew from the experience and felt independent and free and just ready to focus on herself.

Paige didn’t have that many serious boyfriends and the addition of Henry was very sweet even though he is very underrated by many!

4. showed people who experienced so much loss, but who kept going forward, thus giving out a positive message

Like after Patty’s death and Penny’s death, Andy’s death and Prue’s death and Leo leaving and vanquishing Cole and Kyle’s death and etc. They were beaten down so many times but they were strong enough to keep going, giving the viewers a positive outlook of even the worse situations and that with the magic that is inside of them they can heal their broken hearts. They show that even magical people have hearts and they die and they cry and they lose and sometimes not even magic can fix everything. They can’t cheat death when it is time for it and not even magic can help them.

5. had BAD-ASS and ASS-KICKING ladies that were also soft whenever they felt like it but it didn’t made them any less bad-ass and amazing

Because we all love both bad-ass and soft leads who are ready to defend innocent people and vanquish demons and kill warlocks but also squeal and be funny and make jokes

6. was all about FAMILY!

From the logo to the storylines and down to the last detail “Charmed” was about family. First it was the love the girls had for grams, then sisterhood and from then on the sisterhood remained as they fell in love and created their own families and began to bring more people in their family until it became complete (well almost complete with Prue not being there). The thing is that from beginning to end this show was about love. And mainly the power of three. The power of three is the power the Charmed ones have all together; aka the three Halliwell sisters. The Triquetra also is three points.

And the Charmed ones’ powers are immediately tied to the emotions. Which brings me back to my initial thought, the love between the three of them is the main thing, both for the magic and for their lives.

There is also Grams & Patty, Grams & the girls, Patty & the girls:

Leo & Wyatt & Chris:

THIS SCENE:

Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Paige:

Mom Piper & Dad Leo:

Prue & Phoebe & Piper & Paige:

I feel like the 2018 show won’t focus on that. It won’t focus on all of the points that I listed, which in my opinion are the most important qualities of “Charmed” and are the reason that it truly remains a timeless show even 12 years later. Sure it was not perfect but I feel like a show that will focus on all the wrong things will be MUCH MUCH worse. Personally, I am very satisfied with the ending of “Charmed” and i feel like it was a great epilogue to 8 great seasons. Let’s not forget that the story of the sisters lives on with the comics/graphic novels! So in my opinion the only “Charmed” reboot that would be worth it, would be one with the original cast and producers/writers!

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deuce-duce · 4 years ago

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I enjoy writing this because I mean we can't read eachothers minds... right?! I wish I could sure would make things helluva lot easier...! I want you to consider something and then were going to discuss a few hypotheticals... first, knowing what I have explained previously you might realize I never asked to be who I am... or to rise to the level things have gotten to. I guess sometimes you just don't get a choice as to what piece you are in the game of chess... unless you choose to be a pawn that position is always chosen! But pawns can chose who they want to be when they make it to the other side... That being said the only reason things have reached the level that they have which im sure you might not agree with, but I believe its primarily because of a broken society... and an unreliable 🍇. I mean since when has gossip ever been true?? My experience starting in grade school, gossip was always used as a way to discredit someone or make them look like a fool. Not only that but the amount of inconsistencies and nonsense associated with this situation should have raised some red flags... lets say those flags were raised and a lot of you were thinking hmmm something just isn't right here it doesn't make sense, things just don't add up! Were half way there, in what world/society do you get these red flags and choose to not even ask or say anything to the person involved... Really?! Especially when your told not to tell me that you know who I am... Idk about you but I'd like to live in a place where things like this don't happen at all... but thats simply not reality. But when something of this magnitude is occurring there shouldn't be some type of uncomfortable stigma surrounding the person in question... i think you catch my drift.

Hypothetical time... please appease for a moment. lets just say hypothetically that everything i have told you is true. If thats the case I'd say that whats occurring and those that are involved are wrong and is really fucked up! Right?! The crazy part is what I have laid out for you is only the half of it!.

What do we do?! Turn a blind eye and just hope we are more diligent next time? Thats a viable outlook and requires the minimum amount of effort and individual consequence... so i get it... i can't take it anymore personally but all I can do is my best. Not that there weren't people trying to help which I appreciate but sometimes "we become the cancer that were trying to remove"

a common theme that people like to promote is one life one world one opportunity!! Even one of my my favorite artists Eminem, (got me through my childhood) specifies you only get one shot!! "If you could cease everything you ever wanted in one moment would you capture it!?? Or just let it Slip!!??: I couldnt agree more!! The controversial side of this is that your thoughts on what shot i should be taking and the actual shot I'm taking are very different! A big influencer in my decisions is the craft created by NF "I wanna look at my kids in the face when I'm older

And say I've been something admirable

Fast checks, fast women, that don't inspire me, no!

You don't wanna know what's goin' on inside my personal life?

Then get out my diary" I just don't understand why no one else sees it! I dont think anyone in history or anyone ever again will have the opportunity i have! Or that we all have as a collective. Do we harness it or just let it slip?? To be perfectly honest it is more meaningful and more challenging then anything any of us will ever face again! If I fail then I guess we will all have something in common in the fact of... at least i tried.

Last night was interesting i wont go into details but this dude was trying to tear me apart by talking about me inadvertently to a friend of his... saying oh I wish i was that smart... but i go to such and such college... I tried to make small talk becayse although I knew he was talking about me he couldnt say anything to me directly. Shooting the shit atarted out ok... but I don't think my mind is geared that way... it wasnt long before i was talking about running for president for 2020 my slogan being Enough is Enough. He said that was somewhat abrasive and wished me luck! It wasn't long before i realized he really couldn't stand me and was there to belittle me and well lets just say if theirnot with ya, then their against ya. Definitely in my situation. But I told him oh I see what your side your on... he said what side is that...? It doesn't matter well if your just going to judge me and create a bias then this conversation doesn't mean shit... i said thanks for saying it for me... he didn't like that! But realized I had made the right decision. So I feel better about how things went after that. Becuase all he was trying to do from that point forward was make me jealous... too bad he's actually queer!! And for some reason is either jealous or threatened by a homeless bum...So i don't even know why i let it bother me.

Cool thing though we talked about society and how most eat whatever their fed. now i could into some long winded analogy explaining how this takes place with not only the food we need to nourish our bodies but also the food needed to nourish our mind and soul. And because we dont bother to do the research or find out the truth we continually pollute our minds bodies and souls... After I told him that the conversation was pretty much over I could tell he was mad and talking to myself loud enough for anyone around me to 👂 I said dude I'm fucking brilliant and I'm going to win... this is when he thought it clever to go buy the women that i complimented drinks... oh well!

Another person I met was cool finance major had something eating him up and he asked me what my advice was on the matter. I told him what I thought, which I think was good advice then changed it a little bit because bearing your soul isn't easy! Which is what would have been happening. I told him how much i wanted to conform and be just like the rest of the population here but for some reason my mind literally puts up blocks... he said thats because your not supposed to get the easy road... but i want to yelling at this point and he said nope you gotta take your cards and flip em!! He said that because i told him about eminems song beautiful and he knew exactly what album it came from which was impressive but Em says no one asks to get the bullshit hands were dealt we have to take the cards and flip em ourselves and not to expect any help! Gave him my card which is the only one without a # !?!?!?!?!? Ikr cray!

This really pretty girl I talked to for about a total of thirty seconds complimented her hair and made a couple wise funny comments/questions... then said have a good night and fled... like always.... ugh...

Haha other then that i was trying to find a place to sleep which was difficult but finally found a place. And what do you think i did??? I'm sure you already know so ill spare you!!

Good night

P.s. had another conversation with a psych major. After discussing Maslow's hierarchy I was curious to know how one knows when they have reached the summit of the pyramid?! She didn't know either. Told her it would be a good question to ask her professor and went to catch my bus. After boarding I looked it up there are 9 principals or characteristics that will be prevelant once acquiring self actualization. Thats it just thought it was a cool discovery ✔ it out!!

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newmayhem · 5 years ago

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Character Analysis: Alexander Weatere (Part 3)

As always, I’ll keep using original names if I’m talking specifically about the original iteration and in quotations and stuff, but I’ll be referring to everyone by their new names in all other situations.

Alejandro in the present

For this last part, I wanted to do a breakdown/analysis of Alejandro’s scene with Roksana at the end of the book. Of the very few scenes of him we get, this is the only one to take place in modern day and I can imagine someone reading it for the first time and being taken aback by it. There’s undeniably a lot of judgement, unrealistically high expectations, and overall hypocrisy on his end, and it’s so different from what Roksana had been telling the readers of his character all along:

I was hoping I could convince you not to follow those creatures ... but I guess it's too late, isn't it?" …

He turns around, and for a moment I look into golden eyes that are mirror reflections of my own. But then he looks past me, at the area where Aubrey and I fought. I see Alexander's gaze linger on the blood that pooled on the ground when I cut open Aubrey's shoulder. "Why?" he finally asks, his voice soft. "There had to be some other way to deal with this." I look into Alexander's eyes again and see the judgment there. It does not matter that I am his sister. He does think I am a monster. I laugh, and Alexander flinches, because it is a bitter sound. "Would you rather I just let Aubrey get away with it?" I say. "I thought he killed you, you know. Did you want me to just forget that? Or did you think I could turn the other cheek and ignore murder?" Alexander looks away for a moment, pain filling his features as he hears my scornful use of words from the Bible, which he always held so dear when we were children. "I thought you would hate me for what I had done," he says. "And just what have you done?" He pauses, shaking his head, and then reluctantly meets my gaze. "After Lynette was burnt, I would have done anything to protect her. I prayed that I would learn how to control my power, and ..." He takes a deep breath, steadying himself. "A woman heard me praying. A Triste. She taught me more than I ever wanted to know about the vampires and every other monster on this Earth. I listened because she also taught me how to use my gifts." From a curse to a gift, I think. Does he still consider himself damned? "A few nights before Ather ... changed you ... I caught her trying to feed off Lynette. I stopped her, but ..."

…

Alexander pulls his gaze from mine, and this time it falls to Aubrey's blood on my hands. "Rachel, how could you do that? I never thought I'd see you with blood on you, willing to kill another. You walk with them as if you are one of them."

This raises some questions for me, mainly - How could Alejandro have possibly believed that Roksana survived literal centuries if not by drinking blood?

I wouldn’t put it past him to hold out hope that she had been surviving on animal blood or that she was feeding on humans without killing them (hopefully volunteers?). But could it also be that maybe a part of him was secretly hoping that she had starved herself to death and preserved her ‘innocence’ rather than survived by drinking human blood? It would align well with what we already know of his character. And idk if I actually want to go there, but it could be a metaphor for issues of female sexuality/virginity and sexual assault in that I see a lot of parallels between this mentality and how there are so many female saints who were martyred because they chose death over losing their virginity (and this would work pretty well since I’m re-setting the story in a more Catholic culture).

That said, upon closer inspection, I can gather that Alejandro’s definition of turning to the dark side specifically involves seeking revenge, fighting, and causing bloodshed.

That last bit, though, the bloodshed, actually makes a lot of sense in how it illuminates his hypocrisy.

Alejandro, as a triste, also feeds on the life force of other living beings (mainly humans) in order to sustain his immortality. The only real difference between the feeding necessities of a triste and those of a vampire is that with vampires, there’s blood involved- it’s visceral, it’s messy, you can see it, you can smell it, there’s no denying the destructive force of it.

This tells me that Alejandro seems to be, at least on a subconscious level, more preoccupied with keeping up the appearance of being ‘good’ regardless of whether or not there’s any truth or depth to it. This is also evidenced in Alejandro not being willing to empathize with Roksana’s experience when she tries to explain to him her very valid motivations behind her seemingly reprehensible actions.

As a side note, to circle back to Alejandro’s definition of turning to the dark side, another possibility this brings up is that maybe Alejandro somehow found out Roksana was headed back to Puebla, he sensed that she might be going back to initiate a revenge plot, and his mission was specifically to keep her from doing that. I will expand on this in a separate post that’s specifically about Roksana (and Alejandro’s) motives for returning.

Going back to what I had mentioned earlier, the contrast between who Alejandro was (or rather, who Roksana remembered him to be) and what he became is very stark.

As devout and morally rigid as Alejandro was as a human, you can still see that he was a good guy who genuinely cared about people (in fact, most of his moraly rigidity was directed at himself). However, when we meet him again in the final scene, he’s seemingly lost all sense of empathy. We even see in Persistence of Memory that he’s taken to shaming people (sometimes people he doesn’t even know that well) and picking fights about religion.

So how did it get to that point?

Well, Alejandro’s training was very intense. Pandora is notorious for training most of her students literally to death and we know that Alejandro was kind of...soft, for lack of a better term, so there’s no doubt that his training, on top of everything else he’s had to endure, traumatized him.

Based on how I’d imagined his human life/outlook to be (in part 1), it makes sense that he’d deal with this hardship the same way he dealt with growing up in a racist society - by doubling down on his belief in whatever the current authority deemed good and right (Pandora in this situation) and working hard towards the standard that’s been prescribed to him.

I noted that Alejandro referred to his powers now as a ‘gift’ whereas before, he considered them a curse. Roksana even calls this out.

Alejandro didn’t intend to, but ultimately, he gave up so much in order to become a triste. Because of this, he really needed to believe that he made the right choice, that none of the hardships and losses he suffered were for nothing, that he is indisputably on the side of good, and that his powers are a good thing. Anything less than that would be considered a waste.

Something else to consider regarding, in particular, Alejandro’s judgement of Roksana, as well as the stark difference between Alejandro now and then - perhaps both Alejandro and Roksana had kept each other perpetually frozen in time in their respective memories and therefore, had stopped seeing each other as actual human beings with complex morals and motivations.

For Alejandro, he and Roksana were forcibly separated before their personal differences had a chance to really manifest into any sort of direct confrontation, so in his mind, she’s still his beloved twin, his other half, someone who was undeniably on his side.

As for Roksana, her last image of Alejandro was of him trying to protect her. It didn’t matter that their relationship had already started to fracture. In light of Alejandro’s murder, everything else just seems petty. It’s no wonder that he’d forever after be not just idealized, but practically sanctified in her mind. This idealization of Alejandro (and the guilt over his death and her frustration with him in the time preceding his death) could also explain why Roksana (who, admittedly wasn’t as devout as her brother was) became so much more morally resistant to becoming a vampire. I will go into this in a separate post.

And because this story is all from Roksana’s (unreliable) point of view, we have no choice but to take this idealized picture of Alejandro as truth until the present reality shows Roksana otherwise.

This raises another question that I will also go into separately- in the rewrite, should I stick with the original first person pov? If not, what are the best ways to adapt it? Should there be multiple different first person povs?

#In the Forests of the Night #amelia atwater rhodes #Den of Shadows #Nyeusigrube #alexander weatere #characters #Alejandro #character analysis

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