#idk how strongly thats still going
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it's my time to shineeeeeee except this is like, all headcanon. but it is based on me logicking things out!! stay with me here!!
1- my best explanation is that eyewitness testimony is really unreliable, especially when said eyewitnesses are focused more on the knives than whose wielding them. i also don't think we know where the whole legend started in stampede, like what nai's First Crime is, so we don't know if it was maybe just a case of "wrong place, wrong time" for vash as so often happens
(i know we know it was the Big Fall and/or the time vash lost his arm, but people clearly don't remember/know the circumstances of the Big Fall now, if they ever did, and nai killed everyone in the second instance except vash and luida. plus, i feel like the humanoid typhoon thing has to be more recent if he's on wanted posters instead of talked about like a myth, because no one would believe in a 150yo outlaw)
(does that imply that nai's operations were more subtle and spread out for the first, say, 120 years? what was he doing all that time? now i'm more confused) (random timeline notes: legato was already there with his weird telekinesis situation when wolfwood was taken, however i don't think we have a confirmed age for wolfwood? at most it's ~20 years, a little less. similarly, they had the tech for rollo's transformation, but he was not the first experiment.)
(aaaaaand for what it's worth, in the og/1990s anime, which is a lot more episodic at least to start, we don't even meet nai for ages and ages. vash gets caught up in tons of fights and problems that are never his fault, but he always gets blamed when someone recognizes him as the humanoid typhoon. so that might be part of the issue as well, though of course stampede and '98 are very different canons, so that's just speculation until we get more backstory info)
2- my personal headcanon is that it's made out of some kind of material that would probably fit anyone. rem has one too in the flashbacks! i see it as standard space age clothing, probably either super stretchy or super baggy with tech to make it form-fitting, and probably more tech to make it good for all kinds of environments, bc you never know what you find in space.
THAT begs the question, why does nai still wear it? nostalgia? hatred for anything else humans have made? is it plant made and thus the only think he will allow himself to wear? wait, doesn't he make that weird cloak with his knives? did nai make the bodysuits???
3- i can't say what happened to all of her but i will point out that in that flashback in....e11 or e12, when conrad is talking to meryl and you see the day he met nai? nai points his knives at conrad, and there is a Fucking. Eyeball. in his hand/the knife hilt. i'm 99% sure it moves. tesla's eye? if it's moving, does that imply she's still alive? her whole thing seems really delicate, i'm not totally sure i believe it could have survived a crash like that, but who knows how well nai prepped for it.
(if there's a better explanation for the eye and i missed it, pls ignore this, but i haven't seen ANYONE talk about it, so) (tbf i think i only noticed it the third watch through)
4- i believe nai heavily implies when they meet in e3 that they haven't seen each other, ever, since....potentially the time vash lost his arm. which goes back to: what has nai been doing? has vash been avoiding him, or has he simply not been looking? i feel like it sort of makes sense for him to wait until the point he did, when he had the means to actually enact his plan. it wouldn't help to take vash immediately if nai had no plants to, um, impregnate, and it seems like the whole e12 thing also needed a lot of tech and power that probably would have taken time to set up.
also, nai would have had a vested interest in keeping his allies secret from vash, both to take him by surprise when he finally used them and because vash wouldn't go near nai on his own, but if he knew nai was kidnapping and experimenting on children? mmmm, would he have been able to stay away?
5- oh yeah, ohhhhhhhh yeah. are you ready to receive information that could potentially hurt you?
....yeah?
honestly a lot of the people *i* see discussing it are vash/nai shippers (yes, everyone knows they're twins, yes, that's incest, etc etc--it's not the point here. let's just accept that the shippers exist, there are Undertones in the source material, and anyway, BACK TO THE POINT). but yeah, it totally is invasive, and this post is long winded enough without getting into all of it, but quickly
nai very obviously doesn't view the plants really as people, or beings with like, rights. he doesn't view anyone that way, i don't think. he displays fucking plant corpses in his creepy piano room, you know everything in his secret base thing is plant-powered, and he's not looking into other, more sustainable sources of energy because he doesn't care about humans! obviously! he also never outlines any idea of what to do with the dependent plants. it's said that they can't exist without humans, which is probably propaganda, but it's also not clear how capable they are of surviving on their own. can they even, like, breathe outside the tanks?
anyway, this extends to vash, who has ALWAYS been a tool for nai's own ends, from the very beginning with the Big Fall. nai literally wants vash to be this perfect, untouchable, docile and agreeable version of himself that is everything nai wants, and if he isn't that, nai would actually rather him become a corpse-trophy like the other plants in his room.
i might be being harsh on nai here. i do think he's nuanced and complicated, but this is not the post for all thatttttt. also, um, i can't resist, because speaking of the plantcest/shippy undertones....nai is literally penetrating his brother (debatable if the tentacle knives count as part of his body, but regardless) in order to impregnate their "sisters" which is. it's a lot. that's not even subtext. it IS creepy and gross, tho. i have a lot of thoughts on e12.
6- this one i have no idea about. zip, zilch, nada. the gate thing in e3 still doesnt make sense to me and i've seen it six times. it's like, the one flaw in the show for me because i Don't Get It. maybe someone else knows, tho
Burning questions that have haunted me since watching Trigun Stampede:
-Does no one notice the difference between the pale stabby squid man and the fluorescent red golden retriever man?
-Is….. is the body suit attached? Is it not?
-what happened to Tesla after the crash?
-why does vash not know nai’s murderous employees by the time he’s like 150
-is no one going to acknowledge the incredibly invasive nature of what occurred in the last episode????
-what did nai do to vash’s gate at jeneora rock and why did he need diff tech in the last episode?
If anyone with more context or luck with research knows, or wants to theorize, feel free lol
#trigun stampede#can i.....?#tristampparty#idk how strongly thats still going#trigun#vash the stampede#millions knives#me going superrr light on the plantcest i dont even like. ship them. i just defo see why people do and i DO find it interesting#like. from a literary standpoint#butttttt people get weird about it so i. yeah
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself
#rebecca gales#the letter#the letter visual novel#listen im new here im not exactly a knowledgeable cookie here about bpd but the more i learn the more im like. inch resting#cuz for starters its like idk if it all applies to me but i find a lot of it very relatable#but when i think about rebecca i think it definitely applies and makes a lot of sense just like the way she feels emotions#shes got so much complex feelings about the people she loves shes very caring and loving#to the point where they feel its too much to handle alsjks like i love how cute she is with isabella when shes worried#she squishes belles face to check for injuries and she pulls isabella into her lap and pets her hair and sings for her#and always gets her food and worries herself into the ground to make sure isabella takes care of herself#and then with ashton hes definitely her favorite person she sees him like a prince charming and remembers everything about their#relationship like her way of showing love is definitely by remembering things and paying attention to how people feel and what they want#and then zach even though they arent as close she still helped him with his movie and she defends him when his movie gets hate#like in such an angry way he tries to brush it off but shes like NO NOBODY GETS TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT#and same when luke is shitty to him and tries to steal his camera rebecca lets that guy have it#and with luke even though she does hate him shes the only character who makes him see the good in himself#and she lets him know that hes fully capable of changing and being a good father and person#shes just so loving but at the same time so easily has a split where she cant stand anyone either#she thinks isabella is obnoxiously immature and is jealous as fuck of her and she is very quick to fight with ash#because he just doesnt show his love for her like she does for him and thats just such a problem like#that feeling that youll always love someone way more than anyone will ever love you and it makes her really upset#and like sometimes her feelings just get bitter so quick and at inappropriate times like when shes mad at isabella while shes fucking#in a literal coma because ashton is in love with her and not rebecca and shes just so like wrapped up in her own feelings there that she#completely disregards the entire situation and ashtons grief because she cant think about anything else she just cant help it#so yeah i think its just the way she feels emotions very strongly and switches between them very quickly that makes me think hm maybe#something is going on here 🤨 and i just love it i love her i love how shes just a character whos just like#got all these complicated feelings but shes still loved and gets to slay penis and simply exist as a complex person
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I Hope Part 3 - Terry Richmond x Black OC
Black Fem! OC - Savannah (dark skinned, curvy, and disabled) x Terry Richmond (Gentle!Terry, Sweet!Terry, Nervous!Terry)
(I gotta get better at these tags, suggestions welcome!)
Summary: Terry finds himself a change of scenery to after the events of Rebel Ridge
Warnings/Things of Note: I made him cry 😭🤣 (idk i just feel like that’s important; THE MAN IS GRIEVING!!!)
Word count: 3K+ (3,093)
Author’s Note: Thank you for your patience. After I made my last post I was like lemme try and polish it, but then I added more and then i fell asleep. Been fighting sleep tryna finish this part. I dont like how this part ends because it doesn’t have all the descriptions I wanted but it’s part 3 complete and onto part 3. im also trying to not let myself not sharing anything because Imma be holding on it to it for who knows how long cuz life is beating my butt😵💫
So canonically, Terry was born in 1992. And they wrapped up filming in July 2022. A lot of folks have been using 30 for Terry’s age since thats how old Aaron is. And so i was like okay cuz in my mind this takes place a few months after Rebel Ridge and so i used the time period to my advantage and make it an important part of the story
So we are throwing it back a bit in time to start at the beginning of their story. I was rereading it like oh shit damn i did do something frfr but we gotta go chronologic for this to work.
It’s kinda proofread but i be missing words when i type (also its 2:30 in the morning so idk its probably mistakes in there) Comments and critiques are welcome 🤗
don’t do too much tho🌚 cuz apparently yall think you can talk to people anyhow on this internet.
Anyways. Enjoy. ☺️
Fall 2022
Terry was making his way to the library. He needed a place to charge his phone and to think before heading to his final destination to meet her. Sun shining, skin glistening with sweat and pedaling hard to the tune of metal, he focused on where he was going. And what his next steps would be.
He wanted something different. Something better. He was trying to be better. Someone new. He’d been out of the military for almost 5 years now. And for the past 2, he’d been trying to shed that skin. To cut those ties and be someone new. A man and not a machine.
It’s why he found himself not at home but more than 2000 miles away from it. Away from what happened some months ago. The grief he was holding was too much. The very much preventable death of his favorite cousin. The future he envisioned for the both of them and what was to come instead. The loss of camaraderie and brotherhood of his fellow Marines while also knowing he needed to get out while he still could.
With his desired destination now in full view, he eased his pace a bit, preparing to slow down and eventually stop. The music in his ears was coming to a crescendo when he finally got off of his bike. He pulled his blue backpack for the lock and began the short walk to the bike locker. He hoisted it upward to fit in the rack with the other bikes.
After closing the locker, he decided to take a swig of water while looking at the landscape before him. Body turned to face the direction he’d previously came from. He was taking in the urban landscape, a concrete jungle lined with palm trees. A different view from the country back home. After taking the moment to center himself, Terry decided to enter the library.
He was making his way through the sliding doors, being met with the building’s cool air immediately. And when the song he was listening to faded, a different melody came through but it wasn’t from his phone. It was someone speaking. A smooth and gentle voice that resonated with Terry strongly. The person was saying something about frozen food. He took his buds out, ear by ear, to see where the voice was coming from. Hearing it in fullness and clarity, the feeling of resonance grew inside of him. Almost like recognition.
“So when we’re shopping for food, it can seem difficult to try and eat healthier. The fresh fruits and veggies seem to be more expensive than other items. So it makes sense that we want to go for what’s cheaper. Especially if we have mouths to feed,” said the voice.
A chorus of agreement in yeses, yups, and mhmms came from the direction of the voice.
“That’s why I like to get some of mine from the freezer.”
The chorus sounded again in wonder, confusion and intrigue. Terry’s interest was piqued too. Since he was going to start figuring out all this for himself again, he might as well listen. He finally looked and faced his body in the group’s direction, standing straight with hands crossed in front of him at attention. And she had it. The group’s conductor captivated him immediately. He didn’t know why but it felt important.
Her hair was in low puff and covered by a magenta bandanna. Translucent lavender glasses were the gateway to deep, dark brown cat eyes, lined in black. Terry couldn’t help but be drawn in by their allure. Thin, gold oversized hoops framed her face and gave warmth to her deep brown skin. The rest of it was covered by a white mask with light blue straps.
That actually gave him pause. Was he supposed to be wearing one? Maybe he missed a sign, distracted by the captivating conductor. Performing a quick scan, he hadn’t seen one, nor many other patrons wearing them as well. He’d spotted maybe 4 or 5 people outside the seated group and conductor. Some wore thin, black and light blue ones. Others wore more sturdy-looking ones? People had them in different colors��white, black, pink green. Maybe he could ask someone for one or why they were still wearing them.
Terry was dedicated to listening. He really was. She was talking to these folks about trying to eat good while stretching a dollar. Especially because he was gonna be staying in this expensive ass place for a minute. He was taking in all the details. Including the woman’s orange crochet cardigan and the white ribbed shirt stretched over her large chest. The white shirt was tucked into black yoga pants, waistband showcasing her soft, round belly. At a certain point, she’d put her hand on her hip; the orange cardigan behind her elbow now showing her wide set hips and full thighs that clung to the fabric. The rest of the material flared out at her knees over white light brown running shoes.
Terry heard something about freezing cooked rice. Something something starch profile. But it was the woman’s that had him at attention. He couldn’t see behind her but…he was NOT supposed to be checking out this random stranger in a random place. Being captivated by a masked maiden or whatever, this was neither the time nor place but damn she was everything.
Terry had thought these thoughts were all in his head, until the library worker behind him cleared their throat loudly for the audience of the one and only Terry Richmond. He was blushing with embarrassment and mortification, turning to meet the worker behind him. He smiled nervously and hoped the apology in his eyes came through. So much for trying to better man.
“I’m sorry about that. Is there a place I can charge my phone,” he asked while adjusting his backpack.
The worker pointed in the opposite direction of Savannah and her group. “You can go over there.” The worker was wearing a thin, black mask so he couldn’t see the bottom half of their face. But the expression in their eyes made it clear that he could actually go to hell, needed to keep it pushing and do so expeditiously. “Thank you,” Terry peered down at the worker’s badge to see their name, “Casey,” and made his way to get some juice for his phone.
Terry found an empty spot at a desk, back towards the wall and face towards the rest of the library. He could see the place with a much wider vantage point, but the conductor from earlier now out of his range. He ought to feel ashamed of himself and he did. Terry shook his head and sighed. He took a few calming breaths. In and out. In and out. Feeling a bit more comfortable, he pulls out his phone and charger, plugging it into the wall. He unlocks his phone to look at the address saved in his phone for the hundredth time. As if he hadn’t memorized it by heart. One of his safe spaces. Being with her. Figuring out what he’s going to say to her and how everything will work when he sees her again for the first time since the funeral.
He plugs in the library’s address to calculate the distance between the two of them. It was only 37 minutes. Not too bad surprisingly. Although, that might change whenever his phone got to 100 percent. His auntie had told him to be wary about the traffic. That he should overestimate at least 30 minutes to 1 hour for wherever he wanted to go, because you never knew how far you’d be set back and you never wanted to tempt fate.
He couldn’t wait to see her again. It’d only been 3 months since Mike’s funeral. A couple more since the life altering events of Shelby Springs.
— - - -
The navigation on his phone alerted Terry that his auntie’s house was coming up soon on the right. He decided to stop the bike and walk with it to the front door. The closer he got to the familiar grey house, the more he
felt the dam of emotions begin give. He walked the bike up the driveway and set it between the garage door and the big truck. Stopping in front of the red door, he drew in a few deep breaths. He was trying to steady his nerves. Terry didn’t want to break down in front of the woman’s steps. At least not in public, he didn’t want to embarrass the woman. When felt ready enough, he rapped 4 times into the hollow of the white door.
Terry heard movement from the other side, and then the clicking of locks. The door opened to reveal a woman with golden brown skin and salt-and-pepper curls. She was wearing a green blouse with wide-legged white pants and brown strappy sandals. Her eye color matched Terry’s green-blue-grey. There was no mistaking that he and Taylor Richmond were cut from the same cloth. Upon seeing her, he hugged Taylor immediately. Terry was lost in the feeling of her, the smell of her—a signature brown sugar and cinnamon. It reminded him that this was a safe space. That he could be himself here—no questions, no judgement; no putting him on a pedestal, calling him a hero; no pity and no blame from others who weren’t there.
Her nephew didn’t even let her get a word out. Taylor only let out a yelp of surprise before embracing her nephew back and chuckling. His hold on her was tight. Good lord, this boy, she thought. When she heard the sob that ripped through Terry though…oh Lord, this boy. She pulled back slightly to get a look at him. His eyes were a sea of sorrow and ache. Even in this vulnerable state, she sensed relief in him letting it out. His frame was still slightly bowed from embracing hers. She held his face in her hands.
“Well, hello to you too. If you missed me that bad, you should’ve told me to pick you up at the airport,” she said with a raised brow and wiped his tears with her thumbs. That made Terry chuckle.
“Hi, Auntie,” he said, “And I’m sorry. I didn’t want to put you out.”
“Terry, you’re literally staying in my house for God knows how long. And you’re my nephew. I’m not braving that traffic to the airport for just anybody,” Taylor said with a furrowed brow.
Terry turned his head from his auntie so he’d have space to roll his eyes, mostly at himself. Taylor caught him though. She lightly tapped him in the center of his chest with the back of her freshly manicured hands, bangles ringing in unison.
“Now, you stop all that and get in here,” Taylor said in a mocking tone.
“Yes, ma’am,” Terry obliged with a few nods, wiping at his eyes again for good measure and tugged on his backpack straps.
He followed his aunt and crossed the threshold of her home, making sure to remove his shoes before he ventured further and placed his backpack down. Taylor was making her way to the kitchen, where he guessed she was earlier before announcing his arrival. Terry took a moment to admire some of the living room. It had a grey sectional with a maroon throw blanket draped across its back. The walls were decorated with photos of his family over the years, his auntie and uncle in different places around the world, a photo of him and Mike as kids playing in the front yard caught his eye. He walked toward the picture and reached up for it. He ghosted his hand over the frame and glass and stared at it in awe and remembrance. Terry felt his aunt’s gaze on him before she spoke.
“I remember that summer clear as day. You two were a menace with those water balloons,” Taylor said, the sounds of wooden spatula hitting the edge of a pot rang through the space.
Terry looked over his shoulder at his aunt, a look of disbelief with a hint of mischief behind it.
“I wouldn’t really say menace,” he said, trailing off a bit.
“Please, the neighbors gave me and your uncle hell over it,” Taylor exclaimed, pointing the spatula at Terry through the view space of the breakfast bar and upper cabinets, “especially because you got a lot of the other kids involved in that scheme. An entire summer, you two planned that out,” Taylor said shaking her head, while returning some spices to the cabinet.
“Well, you told us to make friends and that’s exactly what we did!” Terry said with a laugh, quickly turning back to the wall to return the frame. The laugh left a smile that brought wrinkles to the edges of his eyes. Taylor was happy to see it. It was a genuine one. And she missed seeing it on her nephew’s face.
Taylor playfully rolled her eyes and gestured for Terry to sit counter.
“Come over here and wash up. I know you’re hungry.”
Terry bounced over to his aunt, joining her in the kitchen and washing his hands. He reached up and across for plates and utensils from muscle memory. Terry waited for his aunt to make her plate to then make his own (she wouldn’t let him when he offered). He opened the fridge for 2 bottles of water, and balanced them with his plate and their utensils. He then went to join her at the dining table.
After a quick prayer over the food, the two dug in. Terry groaned in satisfaction and appreciation. He missed good food like this. He could cook himself, but a big part that made the food good was that his Auntie Taylor put her heart and soul into the food she made; and did every time but he felt and knew she made this specifically for him.
“Thank you, Auntie. For the food and letting me stay here with you for a while,” Terry said graciously.
“Of course, baby. It’s nothing at all. It’ll be nice to have another person ‘round here,” Taylor said with her fork in hand, using it to emphasize the space they were in. “And besides, I’m not gonna be the only one in that kitchen. All them years working with Mr. Liu and Ken, I know you got some good meals in that brain of yours. And you’ll also be buying groceries. Lord knows the last time you were here, you almost ate us out of house and home.”
“Okay. So, rent and groceries. I can do that,” Terry agreed.
“No, I don’t need your money for rent. You keep that.” Taylor said firmly
Terry stared his aunt down, but Taylor Elise Richmond was better. So Terry stood down.
“Yes, ma’am.” he said lowly, scratching the back of his neck. He hadn’t said it under his breath, only accepting his aunt at her word. She was a reasonable woman but a staredown with her would always be a losing battle, a lesson he’d learned spending many summers here in her home.
“Now, you’ll stay in the backhouse. I put fresh sheets and towels down for you,” Taylor began. “You can enter it through the gate by the driveway. It’s got everything over there, except washer and dryer.” She stood from the table and grabbed a set of keys from the counter. “These are yours. Please do not lose them.” Terry nodded at her.
“Hmm…let’s see what else am I forgetting?” Taylor said tapping her pointing index finger against her chin. “I can’t think of anything else right,” Taylor added as she turned head to the kitchen clock.
“Oh shoot,” Taylor exclaimed. “I gotta go drop a plate of food to my neighbor.”
“Here, let me do it. I’ll clear the table and make the plate,” Terry offered after getting out of his chair and began do what he said. “I know you did a lot, preparing everything for me when I got here. So I got it.”
Taylor sighed at herself mostly. Her nephew was a persistent and she was a bit tired.
“Okay,” she relented, leaning against the counter with her hands up in mock surrender. Taylor watched as Terry put the leftover food in a plastic Tupperware container. He removed the pots and pants from the stove and placed them in the sink to soak.
Terry rounded the corner to meet his aunt at the counter. He picked the keys up.
“So, which way am I going?” he asked her.
“Just right across. It’ll be the house with the red flower decorations,” Taylor responded.
“Thank you,”
“No, thank you.”
Terry headed to the front door with the food in hand. He set it down quickly on the entry table to put on his shoes.
“Oh, one more thing,” Taylor went to meet him up front. She reached for the first drawer of the plastic chest nestled under the table and pulled. Returning to a neutral position, she placed a black face mask on the lid.
Terry glanced down at the item.
“They sick over there or something?”
“No. Well, something like that. It’s just better for her, when we go over there.”
Terry nodded and put the mask on. Taylor unlocked the door for him and gestured to his delivery destination across the street.
“I’ll be back real soon,” Terry said, kissing his aunt on the cheek.
Now on the sidewalk, he checked both sides of the street for traffic before cutting across. He spotted the house with the red flower directions and knocked on the door 3 times. He heard a voice call out, “Coming!”. Terry was tapping his thumbs on the top of the container when he realized he forgot the poor neighbor’s name. His aunt had told him but it slipped from his short-term memory. When the lock clicked, he resolved he’d ask the nice, older lady.
The door opened and he went to introduce himself but he was stopped in his tracks.
“Hi,” the woman said. “You must be Terry?”
Terry nodded, “Yes, how’d you know that?”
“Your aunt. She said a nephew was staying over, that and your eyes. You two are definitely the same. Thank you for bringing this over.” the woman said. “And my name is Savannah,” she added, holding her hand out for a handshake.
It wasn’t just any woman. It was his conductor from the library earlier today. And now he knew her name.
Thanks for reading! Until next time😇
————-
Big big shoutouts to @kumkaniudaku @megamindsecretlair @earthchica @theereina @brattyfics @uzumaki-rebellion @sweettea-and-honeybutter @mymindisneverhere yall are fantastic your writing has shown me that i can push myself and im capable of writing more and like get in my craft frfr recently 🙂↕️🙂↕️
#slutsareteacherstoo#atiya writes#terry x savannah#terry richmond#terry richmond x black female reader#terry richmond x black!oc#terry richmond fic#terry richmond fanfiction#terry richmond x black oc#rebel ridge fics
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gnashing my teeth bc i ran out of tags just now
me when the yearning is getting bad
#also like. the reason ive even been ranting irl stuff on here is bc idk to even talk to abt this#bc irl talk on tumblr isnt rlly my m.o. tbh#p much none of my friends here understand the ways in which i am aro#i have one bestie who kinda gets it but also. all my friends are too close to the situation regardless#i have hs friends but frankly we havent talked in a while and thats my fault#not 2 be dramatic but like ???? dont know that ive ever felt like this before???#or certainly not this strongly#maybe idk im thinking but no one else is coming to mind?#'dont leave me'#like i feel that way abt a lot of ppl i care about#i hope i know you for a long long time#but this intensely? mannn#it's probably the roommates of it all#which im not used to#but still. god#im like. ugh#it's lame and dumb and gross#i'm just like. and this is also a separate me issue#but sometimes we're just vibing and i just think 'im going to miss you when youre gone'#bc this mfer's going to leave me!!! gonna graduate#(and cross the country apparently??? which isnt a secret but i just ueard abt it recently)#(which. i never asked but thats bc i am perpetually afraid of asking and being too much)#(always curious but never asking. thats another separate me problem thank u parentals)#but theyre gonna leave and i'm gonna miss i'm gonna miss#i dunno. maybe im just gonna miss This. living together. maybe thats all that this is#maybe thats all ive latched onto#but also maybe i'll miss that shithead. idk#it's weird. im being weird about it.#but how do you like. undo that#the tangle of routine and domesticity and coming home to someone or with someone
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That do you think are the top 3 kink's of treasure??😶🌫️
Aye! Sorry for taking this long😭, i’ve been a little busy but here i am. Also, i think i should warn you guys ‘cause i’m not actually very informed about kinks and kinks’ names, so you’ll find some made up ones, sorry.
Hyunsuk’s might be praising kink as number one. This little man would love to listen to you tell him how much you like the way he touches you, the way he looks, how talented he is with his fingers. I think it’s kind of over-used for the producer and leader of every single kpop group but cock warming while he’s working. And finally, love kink (i dont think thats a real kink but idc), my man is just too sweet and too in love, so he would be down for everything if it’s with his loved one. (Such a softie, ik)
Jihoon is a lot into pain kink, like he would go crazy either slapping your pussy or your ass or biting your neck. Strength kink because he is strong—man he is totally the type to manhandle you in thousands of ways just to show you just how stronger he is and just how helpless you are. And finally, size kink. The fact that he’s able to cover your body completely under his… man i’m done🫠. Plus, he would go rock hard the next day after having sex when he sees you struggling to getting up because your legs are weak and your womb hurts, because, again, pain kink. (Yeah yeah, i already said that in the last one post, sorry!)
Junkyu is pretty weird because while some people see him as a sweet cutie pookie little angel, this man is a freak. To begin with, he would be A LOT into bdsm (specially bondage), so there will always be a rope or a pair of handcuffs hanging on the nightstand for him to keepyour hands still (and whenever it’s not, don’t worry, he’ll just use his tie). And never ask him not to cum inside of you because this will only lead on him cumming at least three times more in your womb because here comes his second kink: Junkyu’s breeding kink is crazy. And whenever he cums inside of you, he will hold your neck strongly and choke you just a little— he likes to see the way your body spasms under his, and then goes weak slowly. But hey, you started this! He always tell you not to retain your breath whenever you come.
Yoshi is a little bit weird to me because I sometimes can totally see him as a dom, but then i just feel he’s just a soft subbie, so let me figure it out… degrading AND praising. Likes to listen to you saying you love him, and the way he looks right after licking you whole, and the way he makes you feel, but will also go crazy when you tell him he can’t satisfy you enough and that you might need to look for another pretty boy to fuck instead. And the switch dynamic come back when we talk about his breeding kink—his soft subbie self (the normal one actually) would just love the idea of you carrying his children in between you arms, while his other side would just love the way you look all pregnant, the way your boobs would grow up and the way you ask him to fuck you because you’re feeling needy after two months without sex. (Oh no, i might have gone a little too far with that one🌚)
Jaehyuk is another one i think everyone is getting confused with since shining solo because he looked so submissive, but hear me out. We have another freak. He is also very into bdsm, and sometimes he might have gone a little too far before, so you had to decide a safe word because you never mean it when you ask him to stop. He just overwhelms you too much by edging you with you ping vibrator (‘cause edging is his second kink) and makes you loose yourself with every slap he gives to your pussy. And I shouldn’t say this, but I saw recently an animated porn video (im so much of a loser, sorry) in which a girl is trapped on the hole of a wall and a guy (who ends up being her boyfriend) fucks her for hours, until he cums inside of her and then… he pees… inside of her. Idk, it just screamed Jaehyuk to me so pissing kink. We’ll never mention that again, ok? Hehe
Asahi is the unkinkiest member among all treasure members imo. Sex with him is very vainilla, so I can’t actually come up with anything hot, sorry.
Doyoung is that kind of gentleman who would never admit any of his perversions, but once he actually trusts you, man, it’s gonna be a long night. Would go down on you, taking one of you legs and putting in your shoulder while your other try to hold your whole body up, and would lick you pussy for hours, even after you came twice and ask him endlessly to stop because you’re already too overstimulated. This is his first kink, and asking you to pee in his mouth when you tell him you really need to go to the bathroom is his second kink. And making you squirt would be his third (again, is that a kink?).
Haruto kinda gives me the vibes of a slightly perv guy who feels guilty over his “forbidden desires” so just hides them since he thinks he’s too dirty. However, they are not that dark—not only sexually, but in all the ways, he likes physically smaller girls, so size kink, and that would also lead to the second kink: bulge kink. And keeping your hands still by tying them with his tie is the third.
Jeongwoo is a little darker than everyone else. He’s the kind of guy who watches and repeats on his dreams. The first would be overstimulation (guess y’all already know what it is), the second would be hate kink (don’t know if it exists either but like having sex with someone he genuinely hates) and cervix penetration (which is not penetration actually, but like being so far deep inside your pussy, that he can hit your cervix over and over again).
Junghwan is also strong, so even if i know it is a little obvious and basic to day so, strength kink. Same with his size kink. And this one might take some by surprise but… praising kink. He’s just so cute and little and cute and lovely. Would become from the hardest dom to the sweetest subbie whenever he hears some barely sweet words coming out of your pretty mouth.
#purrplegyuu#kpop smut#junghwan smut#treasure#treasure | purrplegyuu#treasure hard hours#treasure smut#jihoon treasure smut#jihoon smut#junkyu smut#yoshi smut#asahi smut#haruto smut#hyunsuk smut#jaehyuk smut#doyoung smut#jeongwoo smut#sorry for taking so long
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Do you have any tips/tricks on getting into warframe? I want to play bc the designs look cool and I'm sure the story is just as interesting!
(It is completely OK to info-dump!)
OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!!!
ive probably said it better before, but cant find the posts because this website has the worst search function known to all mankind -_- so i will give you some bullet points that will not be all inclusive and i invite anyone else who wants to chime in to do so!!
while the devs are definitely trying to streamline new player experience, the story is uh. a lot! the game has like, what, 11yrs worth of content behind it by now? there's a lot! depending on your playstyle and how you progress through the game, it might take you a while to really get into the meat of it -- or you might speedrun all the main storylines in like a month. there are lots of side quests and secondary objectives you can dick around with as much as you like, which some people find fun and some people find annoying. i liek it :) but it can definitely be a lot
there have been a lot of time limited events and hidden lore entries that make some things pretty inaccessible to new players. they seem to be trying to get better about this but its still not ideal. the wiki is not always right (afaik, theyre still hung up on whether or not albrecht and loid were ~canonically~ together, which is literally just blatantly textual) but it can be a good place to find summaries of shit you've missed out on. ive never watched a single one of those 'warframe lore explained' videos so i cannot vouch for any of their accuracy. i dont really pay attention to the subreddit or the official forums either, but those might have information too? idk
i personally find that some of the quests are thrown at you wayyyyy earlier than they should -- heart of deimos is one that i strongly believe should be way more lategame than it is, since it builds on a lot of stuff that you probably won't know by the time you get to it unless youve been paying veryvery close attention or have been going wiki spelunking. i wouldnt stress about it too much if something seems to make no fucking sense, though. most quests are replayable if you want to go back to something with fresh eyes or different context
i have probably already spoiled you on a lot of the lategame stuff and for that im sorry! lmao this isnt really a game where spoilers will ruin something per se, but since ive been playing the game since like 2013 i went into everything blind as it was released and i always had a huge blast when the game dropped a bombshell on us, so i try not to rob anyone of that experience if i can help it -- not a huge deal though depending on preference
there's a lot of grinding and farming. i personally dont find it overly tedious as there's a lot to do and it's easy to mix things up and take breaks, but for some people it's a huge turn off, so just a heads up i guess. you can technically bypass a lot of the grind by buying new frames or weapons off the market if you really want to spend your money on that, but there's some things that are locked behind a reputation grind and such. and honestly, you dont Need to spend money on anything but some cosmetics
trying to play through everything solo might be fun if you enjoy a challenge, but i personally find it to be unsustainable. you're going to want to find a decent sized clan and you're going to want to either find friends to play with or hit up the recruiting chat for backup.
you can make platinum pretty easy by farming prime parts or rare mods and other such tradeable things and selling them to other players. i dont bother with this because im bad at keeping up on video game economies and it never interested me. but it makes being a 100% f2p player a lot easier when you need to buy inventory slots and such
there are over 50 warframes and countless ways to mod each one, and an absurd amount of different weapons -- there isnt really any one playstyle thats 'better' than any other. i perosnally pay next to no attention to the meta outside of keeping in mind what damage types are effective against which enemies. some people really enjoy minmaxxing the hell out of their shit. you can kinda just do whatever
don't buy plat without having at least a 50% discount login bonus unless it is an absolute emergency. the discounts are random but ive found they happen often enough that i can just wait around for one to pop up and replenish if i'm low. or dont bother idk i cant tell you how to spend your money im not your dad
mute region chat for the sake of your own sanity. nobody in there is as funny as they think they are. moderation is better in there than it used to be but it's still a wasteland
the most important part of playing warframe is having fun and being yourself :)
#Anonymous#im headachey and tired so this probablyisnt as detailed as it could be . ah well!#if you do decide to start playing anon i hope you have fun!!!! say hi to darvo for me when you see him during the first questline#i miss his dumb ass LMAO shame he is irrelevant
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also. if someone wants to help. (also btw hibi lore like. the most important part methinks)
how to "keep it casual" with. lets say hypothetically. if you came to a new school in seventh grade. and met a nice guy during swedish class and kinda connected with him immediately and. then you guys are like. best friends in your opinion and you guys hang out allll the time and you kind of have the biggest crush on him and. lets say. like. you love him so fucking much its borderline unhealthy? and like. then he starts sending you flirtatious gifs and texting you so. because youre in love. you send flirtatious gifs back and you guys basically call each other love and sweetheart and everything and !! you guys hold hands and he lets you listen to his music and gives you a plastic ring to match his and gives you gifts and treats and !! holds your hand btw !!!! and nearly asks you to kiss him during a truth or dare game like. implies it strongly . so then you !! decide to ask him hey. what are we. and he goes idk and you guys hve a littl etalk because yay communication !!!!! and hes like. so. i like you . like. thats out there now okay. i like you but i also like this other guy so um. idk so!! because youre in love and would wait like fifty million lifetimes you say okay ill wait for you its okay but then the romantic interactions disappear and its like . because you guys are in a trio right? theres this other guy too. so he starts maybe confiding in the other guy a littl enad you should not feel envious he can do whatever he wants its his life but . you do but youj also dont say anything so like. a year or smth passes idk and he goes. yknow what. tbh. i dont rly like you anymofre?? like i like this other guyu and i think ill always like him and ur kinda heartbroken and shit but you say its fine i was kinda over you anyways. so . that happnes and you stil l love him so fucking much but . you dont say it because youre happy he moved on and . youre probs not worth it anyways its fine and then a ruond a month later while ur eating at lunch hes like. haha can you go away for a while i want to talk abt stuff with person 3 in our trio and youre like. okay sure !!! and then you come back nd . find out he s in love or has a crush or wever on another guy. so . apparently he wouldnt love hte other guy forever but it doesnt rleally matter at least it shouldnt so you drop it its fine . enter grade eight your friend group grows and . theres these classes where you can pick and not everyone goes to the same on e right ??? so . the rest of your friend group goes to the musci class and you go to the . cooking class . which you enjoy btw!!! like!! a lot!!!! and you attend it with another classmate of ur s and boooom youre friends. wow . hooray like. currently youre probably closest to them which is craaaaazy liek. wow. but !! bcs u attned a diff class you get shut out of alll the fun things they do and you dont really feel like you belong and you also kinda feel dsicarded and not important and invisible because !!!! the guy youre in love with yes still kinda hate that !! treats you like air. so. then you ask him whats wrong right before you go on a month long trip on summer vacation without internet access. and when youj come back you find the messag eunread and !! you stressed abt this the whole summer btw. smth smth i dont even want you back i js want to know if ruining my sparkling summer was the goal /lyr ANYWYS. you . jask abt him awgain. on discord and he says that hes changed as a person and his interests have changed and this is fine btw!!! like. you totally understand yep. and then he says that youve beeen like . kinda really annoying recently and sometimes he feels like killing himself while hanging out with you so. that s nice and also !! not being with you has made his mental state like. get better a bunch so "thats just grand".
so. mmm. also by the way this is like. summer vacation after eight grade yeah?? well. just before the seventh grade summer vacation person 3 in ur trio asked you out. and you kinda dated them. even though you ddint really have feeling because they re nice the y treat you well and you had to get over him but then around like . a year later you cant really take it anymore and its not person 3s fault at all theyve been perfetct alllll around like. the most amazing human being ever but. you just cant . you keep choosing him over them and you can see its hurting them and this isnt working nahyways so . a round a yaer later you tell them hey. not your fault i was seeking approval and shit and im like. the jerk ehre but like. thank ou so much and its a whole essay and they go okay its fine but. now youve broken someones heart so . yay you and youre still not over him so . wowww good job.
back to eight grade summer vacation?? you dont really text anyone else except from cooking class friend and person 3 and you dont want to text in the group chat because hes the most active one and you really dont want to intrude his space and . now 9th grade is statrgint in 8 hours and you just saw a message from him . saying asking you to "keep it casual" so the teachers dont come after you guys or something. so . somoene tell me how to keep it casual?? like. do you just stand next to the other guysf rom the friend group?? are you . suposeced to interact with them ???? can you still eat w the guys?????? oh and . 9 th grad eis the most inmportant year academically so i also have to get good grades from everything and actuallly focus on studies so . theres that.
tut on how to keep it casual pls okay love u guys <3
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idk if it was answered before, but why would Yves even be interested in a cringe fail reader like us lol. Like the guy literally is perfect in every way, it doesn't make any sense. He deserves better 😔
Its like asking why a mother would still love her son even after he killed everyone around her, steal her car, rob a bank and call her a stupid fat bitch, like how a baddie would do anything for a stinky dusty man even tho she's a 10/10 and he's a 0/10, like how u see these women would go far beyond what was needed for a man who doesnt even remember her birthday,
its like asking why my mother decided to stay with and love a shitty ass man like my dad, telling me that he's a good man even tho he literally insults her every 5 seconds, makes her pay the bills and why she stayed and still love me the same even tho my dad made me treat her like subhuman/portray her as dumb and worthless for 10 years too. The answer is: i dont fucking have a clue
It's that unconditional love that i cannot understand but i find extremely hot, like i cannot get why do parents love their kids/sacrifice so much even tho their kids are fucking cringefailures and/or stay as cringefailures until they die, i cannot get how women love the way they do, they love so strongly and intensely, its also the same severely tight love petowners have for their pets (ie, paying so much money for food and vet bills, even being homeless the money goes to their pets, rushing to the vet and getting arrested because they're speeding, dying for their pets etc)
Like, i dont get that AT ALL, i dont have such strong feelings for children, family or pets but i know these unconditional love do happen time and time again.
and thats basically Yves- the stereotype that women love a lot more and blindly and assumes the role of the caretaker. but im leaning my attraction towards men, so even tho he is traditionally feminine in every way, he identifies as a dude
Yves has his own reasons, and those reasons are the ones that do exist irl, but i cannot fucking understand and its so fascinating and delicious to me
Remember, Yves is an allegory of the perfect parent
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere male#yandere concept#tw yandere#yandere x you#yandere oc x reader#male yandere oc x reader#oc yves
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Hello thank you for approving of my "Bruce's unexpressed resentment towards Jason filters into his treatment of Steph" idea it's been giving me hives lately thinking about it.
Because I don't think any theoretical (slightly substantiated?) resentment Bruce would have towards Jason is like. Malicious. It's more the aching absence of needing to scold your child for scaring you, for endangering themselves bc don't they know that they're your heart? Except you can't say any of that because they're dead and it's cruel.
But I think it all comes back to like. "The good soldier" epitaph (which actually has very little presence in canon and idk if Jason ever even brought it up post resurrection?) which, in my mind, could be seen as in character for Bruce IF we assume that Bruce is retroactively putting distance between him and Jason, bc otherwise he has to confront the fact that he lost his baby, not a sidekick or a friend but his baby, his boy. And it's easier to lose a solider rather than your baby WAIT. ASK CANCELLED THIS IS ABOUT BRUCE/STEPH PARALLELS AGAIN; THE LOSS OF A CHILD. HOLY SHIT!
EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS ASK RIGHT NOW STAT!!!!
I’m coughing blood and dying holy shit. Great great stuff genius theory I super love this. Horrible but so so great.
In my mind if I were to explain why Bruce might start feeling resentful towards Jason it would comes down to these two things, that scolding instinct you mentioned which is really just grief, so much grief, and then that combined with the victim blaming that sort of goes on with Jason after he dies.
Because you have to blame Jason a little bit, it has to be his fault because it’s the only way forward, because how else could Bruce ever validate his choice to work with a new Robin? How else could he go on at all? And Alfreds right there, at the airport after Jason dies, and the first thing he says to Bruce’s face, the very first thing he says is that it isn’t Bruce’s fault, and that it was Jason’s disobedience (Gotham Knights #44).
But because we get this increasing focus on how Jason’s own faults led to his death we get that frustration/grief compounded with this increased blaming and you can’t be angry at Jason he’s dead. But now there is this frustration targeted towards his memory, and that’s not what you’re supposed to feel about your dead son, thats not an acceptable target.
(It’s Not substantiated strongly enough in canon BUT thats how I would explain any feelings of potential anger towards Jason after he died)
Your analysis of the phrase of “good solider”….my lord. Hm don’t worry he wasn’t a boy wasn’t a child who died don’t worry it was a soldier. Sometimes that happens to soldiers.
(Just in case someone else brings it up, although I’m 80 percent sure rhato technically canonizes that Alfred put up the Jason Todd Case and therefore the “good solider” plaque, pre new 52 there’s evidence it was Bruce’s decision not Alfreds)
Tf when I create emotional distance between me and my baby because I can’t handle losing what I must lose if I allow full recognition.
Tf when I blame myself but still the only way forward is this ignorance, this denial of what was. GAH!! (THIS IS ABOUT STEPHANIE BROWN AND BATMAN BOTH ITS ABOUT BOTH OF THEM HOLY SHIT)
I NEED to give her pregnancy lasting thematic and narrative significance Bc the writers sure as hell did not want to, THANK you for fueling my mad agenda (giving Stephs horrible pregnancy arc more meaning besides being a hamfisted PSA and Tim Drake drama)
Anyway thank you so much this is a fucking incredibly based theory I’m extremely in favor.
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hello unfortunately i thought even more about sol + swag as an analogy for being asian and it is . making me unwell. i am putting it under the cut for the main reason that it is stupid beyond belief
OK. so. hear me out .
STUPID REASONS WHY SOL IS ASIAN:
(and hint: this is all me projecting 100%)
1) moist frog who immediately turns off when it gets too cold. SOUTHEASTASIAN BOY AS FUCK (to me). guy who thinks thirty degrees celsius is pleasant temperature. guy who thinks that anything below 25C is sweater weather. guy who is soo sweaty and moist all the time (the humidity) and that is not only a natural state, but a preferrable state. 20 degrees is too cold. anything below 0 is actually not functional.
anyway. sol bufo. keepin it warm and gross. if its too cold and dry he immediately hibernates. king
2) idk if anyone reading this has seen shaolin soccer. but sol bufo. could clump shaolin soccer. essentially what im saying is sol bufo is like a buff asian jock. which is kinda goofy and goodnatured and loud and also very obnoxious. i cannot articulate this very well. but. what can i say except a human version of sol bufo was delivered to me in a dream and it was every buff chinese classmate ive ever met.
3) (you will notice the reasons get progressively more stupid and more deeply specific)
sol bufo would love milo. omg. like. chocolate drink in a juice box container that is branded as a sports/energy drink and also green. also the guy on the front of the packet milo. sol bufo coded. tbh
anyway. milo isnt strictly southeast asian..? but. yes it is actually.
4) the whole monk class is extremely steeped in asian 'aesthetics' anyway. i mean. ki. so whatever i can claim this monk for me thats my right
NONSTUPID BUT STILL KIND OF SILLY REASONS:
and this is also me projecting 100%. obviously all delusion. so i guess see this as a for-fun reading of the sol/swag storyline through the lens of a very specific of asianness
okay so. swag right. his journey is about leaving his home where he was comfortable and safe but also very confined. mothership lures him to ezry w the promise of opportunity & seeing the world, making something of himself. he ends up being exploited for his body and skills. and he runs away, but his blood still oils up the mothership cogs.
so anyway. i think its pretty clear how that cld map onto like . an immigrant experience? leaving home because of the need to find urself, but simultaneously, the threat of exploitation at the hands of ppl who see you as a potential profit to be mined. this is the first part
the part that is more crazy to me is his experience in irondeep. like, when he left moonstone he left his entire community. now hes alone ... and he cant go back. (he is stranded physically, emotionally). and at this low point, of true and utter loneliness and purposelessness, comes along bronzebeard industries. they offer him a job - but more importantly, they offer him connections.
like. thinking about how were introduced to swag. its not at his job, its his downtime, its when hes hanging out with his coworkers, when hes surrounded by 'friends'. w people who think hes cool, and the people who think hes a "sucker".
idk! but i think this also relates rlly strongly to a common experience of being international? like. when you know you are permenantly lost from home. what you want more than anything is to feel the same community and sense of belonging you used to have. and it is very easy for that desire to ge manipulated. (like - im just gonna mention the one specific instance that ive seen. which is like. international students on college campuses getting targeted a lot by christian groups. because they know those people are lonely and want a feeling of shared tradition and practice. anyway. this is one specific example but also this is literally what happens to lyddie and sister rosaline :-| )
anyway so in summary: swags story of hope/idealism, exploitation, and loneliness leading him to be a very good pawn. i think that is something that could potentially be read as the experiences of ppl dislocated internationally from their home. and im saying its asian because I Want To.
... and sol! okay. i think very simply: sol is super white-washed. total banana. and thats part of his character. he is a moonstone bullywug who never knew his own home, and still, has never even seen moonstone with his own eyes. he does not know his own history. (and kinda tangent, the place where he spends the majority of his life is in launchpad, a sanitized corporate version of reality. and i mean, the whole 'boy wizard and frog pal' is very clearly alluding to harry potter. like. its white.) but ignoring that, the essence of his character is like. this is a guy who does not know where he came from
and currently? a large part of his arc is about trying to unravel his identity by figuring out where (who) he came from. swag daniels is his one link to a community hes just now found out he has. that is a part of why hes trying so hard to save swag. swag is his family - specifically the parts about family you cant choose. that is hard, complicated and how you understand where the parts of yourself track back to.
like. i think a lot about how the pivotal moments of connection between swag and sol are all about swag... showing sol what moonstone is like. in a dream, he lets sol experience what that place is like. that place is a muggy swamp. idk. swag is taking sol back home. that fucks me up a lot
... anyway digression aside. i think one of the most painful things gg on rn w sols arc rn is. how its looking right now. sol is going to lose swag. sol is going to have to come to terms w losing swag. sol for the first time, yearns to know who he is and who he came from. but by the time he went looking it was too late. his time is up. that moment of connection was brief and gone. there are so many questions about their history that sol will never know now
so obviously this kind of dips a bit into metaphor at the end. swag represents connection to cultural history and heritage and identity. and in that lens, it reads to ME as a story abt being asian and disconnected from ur roots. but anyway. even without that lens i think sols story is still v much abt cultural estrangement
(i also have a very loose and unformed thought: which is that sols journey from wanting to stand out/be special to wanting to find a place of belonging. is ALSO INCREDIBLY RESONANT to the experience of being whitewashed asian... ESPECIALLY for ppl who do come from asia. and how that also relates to the tragedy of wanting to understand ur roots when its already too late. but . i dont rlly know if that is a common experience so. itll be noodling in my head for now)
anyway. my essay. and yes this is all make believe in my head . TLDR: i think swags an immigrant sols a banana and i am fucking insane thanks everyone
also if u read this all and want to know what part of this long ramble actly answers the question of why i think theyre asian. well. you know what.
#ramble tag#im NOT tagging this . LOL.#if u read this that was an ACTIVE CHOICE ON UR PART and i am NOT LIABLE#also anyone who doesnt know: banana = asian on the outside white on the inside#so.... MEEEEE 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌺🌹🌹🌹🌷💐#fml this is 1k + words. LORD. okay.... im SILLYY.. man i have actual work to do tonight#anyway. i hope u guys understand why im normal abt sol
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gender rambleeeeee
i know i know i know people can be wrong or change their gender after coming out. recoming out. thats for other people though not me!!!
sometimes i feel like i came out as ftm too fast and idk. when i was a teen and figured that out i did feel strongly as male and wanted to get away from being a girl as hard as i could. maybe it was the time or the people i knew. i wasnt like the nonbinary/genderfluid/etc people i knew or saw online. i didnt want that and still sort of dont. i dont relate to them. nothing wrong with what they have but its not me. i still relate to trans guys and overall am one but its like. idk. i dont care as much as some of them. i'm happy where i am but wish i could explore femininity more but im scared.
i think about how i could be perceived/refered to in various situations with this. i could not go as fem as i would want without getting seen as girl in real life. which is. like something i would only want to be refered to by specific people. other queer people. transitioned and went an extra step to being girl but also being a boy at the same time. in a transgender way.
i think about names and pronouns. my chosen name is so far masculine and its just eh to me. its fine i can live with it. but would i choose it again? no. and pronouns. i would take a step to using he/she with some people but again. in a trans way. and i worry about taking the first step and the posibility of going backwards if i dont like it. not that any of my friends would be mean about it but its scary. its like i need to put myself into a new group of people i dont know and experiment. and just disappear if things dont work out.
i think thats a way this account has helped me out. i dont know anyone here. no one knows me. i can try out things and explore my gender in regards to sexuality and switch it up if i dont like it. no problem. but it is lonely to not be able to see how i am perceived by others.
but! instead of telling anyone i know these things i will just keep looping i/me/myself my will wood and posting porn 👍👍👍👍👍
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This is so off topic but i really want to write a time travel fic of someone twst. Like an actual multichapter one not just the oneshot with silver and sebbie (and yuu) I blame the actual sebek time travel fic i read before i made it to book 7 And i blame the fact i had a dream where sebek had time traveled and like he was doing stuff to undo things and he got caught and they were waiting for him to explain and it was tense and somehow he ended up pretending to be asleep to get out of it and also did i forget to mention that I was sebek and it felt so real that for a few minutes i was just sitting there in bed still pretending to be asleep waiting for someone to leave and then slowly was trying to think like ‘..this doesnt feel like–’ cause sebek was like leaning on lilia’s shoulder ????? or something like that and i realized WAIT that was just a DREAM
Its wild. Like. there was this person who was like trying to get sebbie to stop threateningly like ‘i have a criminal record’ and he kept repeating it and its just aAAA (as in they arent afraid to get violent D:) IDK it felt like there was like some war going on in the background with lilia and malleus and some horrible thing was going to happen that sebek wanted to stop
And so it was in the library with something something secret passage that led to like 3 glowing blue balls (HAHA BALLS) on top of like a cushion in a box and i cant remember wtf they did just that they were important. I cant remember if it was a bad thing or not. I think that probably came from LoCF influence cause of the thing in the library crossman curse thingy whatever i forgot
But so it was really nerve wracking.
And i remember reading this fic with general lilia having a twin and it was started because the person writing it had dreams of it. And i was like woah thats cool. I dont think id have dreams like that but id like to.
HAHA i jinxed myself like months later cause wtf it felt weirdly real even though its nothing like my irl life. Like usually i get tricked because its taking place in locations ive been to before (i once had a dream i had a cat and i felt so sad because i didnt have one irl) but NOPE
Anyway idk where silver was but it was strongly implied that it was in the past past like general lilia type past except malleus existed then too
Idk why sebek was there (or why i was sebek ??? i think i just got huge brainrot rfom that sebek time travel fic tbh)
but so . i was so hesitant to say something about it bc idk it felt weird so i sat on this for 4 days but weirdly enough i still remember a good chunk of it like the many details i just didnt write down originally
..i feel like this is a sign i should write it. i just wish i knew what the balls were for 💀. i mean i think it was bad because the library was implied to be like in like their home or base right?? and he was trying to take it away. but he was gonna touch it with his bare hand idk dream logic causing dumb shit im pretty sure they're magical balls.
anyway i cant remember if he managed to get them or if he got caught or how?? did he get caught in the act? i mean how else would they be suspicious???
in the first place why are they not suspicious of him being there
like
like
did he somehow bullshit his way in there
like okay JP spoilers (i think it'll appear in the NEXT main story update on EN)
like how he was like describing to baur his grandpa (who is baur btw but baur doesnt know it i dont think?) and like how hes half fae and baur acknowledging him as one of them and is like 'well for all i know you could be a zigvolt' and like being accepting and its just like shfuisdhfuisehdij
but so anyway that worked so idk maybe it works for them. idfk what excuse he made up
aughhhh why do i have to have brainrot over this when im trying to write something else tho
#dream#dream journal#twst#twisted wonderland#thoughts#twst wonderland#twst book 7#time travel#time travel au#sebek zigvolt
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About 'transandrophobia' one of the trans men who is vocal about it, is nothorses who has been found to use source from terf, terf lingo, etc. Nothorses also admits to being a former 'changed' terf, but he still sources from terfs. Let's not forget his frequency at calling trans fems baeddels when they disagree with him, in addition to trans women and other trans people of color (including t mascs of color) radfems and terfs for disagreeing with him. There have been literal terfs in the transandrophobia tag and when you source back to what they are saying, it is always nothorses.
Now, as someone who is an older trans masc, I'm not just pissed at nothorses for the transmisogyny, but he is literally in a way, grooming young trans mascs to fall for a lot of extremely harmful, terfy rhetoric that is going to not just get them hurt but pit them against trans fems and other trans people. There are so many young trans mascs, minors who eat up the gender essentialist bs he says, and reinforce his harmful views on trans fem and literally, trans people who don't agree with him. It's sad, because I know that if i were younger and looking for a community I would've easily been manipulated by that.
The only good thing is that i'm seeing across multiple sites how quickly people just don't take him seriously. In various trans spaces, he is recognized as a terf, because he is. I only hate the hundreds of young trans mascs that are going to have to unlearn the transmisogyny he teaches them as well as unlearn the fear-mongering he and his group are spoonfeeding him about trans women.
I feel so strongly about this and I'm really happy people are talking about this more. He and his group have harassed so many trans people off of this site simply for standing up to them. Especially trans women. And no matter how many flips he does to make himself seem trans-inclusive it's clear he hates trans women and he has yet to unlearn his terf ideology.
Does no one find it strange that he admitted to being a terf, claims he's changed but continues to push anti trans fem ideologies in his group chats and posts?? like --
im just sorta posting this with no comment cuz idk what to say. I'm not really a fan of posting asks that straight up say people's urls, but this guy is an actual terf who preaches terf rhetoric and cites terfs in his writing. So I hope with more upfront discussion about it maybe we can help vulnerable groups get away from him and find an an actual trans community thats intent isnt building bigotry.
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So I have a weird headcanon or idea (whatever you call it) that I would like you opinion on.
So Mystra picks favorite's of her followers right? Usually they are young talented men. I have this feeling that Mystra at one point had her eyes set to Rolan because he is a naturally talented wizard, I mean thats why Lorroakan hated him right? because he was better than him? Rolan had more potential? Anyways I think Mystra tried to favor Rolan but our sweet boy is too full of conviction to fall for her shit.
Idk I just feel this in my bones...what do you think?
Ohhhh that's a really interesting question. I'm sure a lot of smarter Rolan girlies (gender-neutral) have already considered this, but I had to think about it for a bit.
I could honestly see it going either way, depending on how old Rolan was and where he was at in his personal growth when Mystra appeared to him.
On one hand, Rolan displays stronger instincts for self-preservation than Gale (poor Gale). And anything that might take him away from Cal & Lia, make it harder for him to protect them when they're still young, etc–that’s another reason I could see him hesitate to go off with Mystra. He really really doesn't want to leave either of them, even when he and Lia get into major disagreements (“I’d never leave her behind”).
BUT Rolan is also clearly determined to prove himself and become a great wizard. He sticks it out in a bad situation with Lorroakan for as long as he can morally justify it, because despite all of Lorroakan’s deficiencies, Rolan knows being adjacent to power and influence will get him places (even if he doesn't learn much magic).
So when it comes to the actual Goddess of Magic herself, I do wonder what wizard who practices Weave magic could resist that kind of offer? Especially an ambitious one like Rolan.
If Mystra asked him to leave Cal & Lia for her or wanted to isolate him from them, I do see that as something he would strongly resist even as a young man. I think his family could really save him on this one. 🖤
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hi, i have one like, question for you regarding transgender healthcare. beacause. like there are people to whom dysphoria brings immense distress/unhappiness, and any healthcare system should absolutely take care of that, for free.
but theres also people who dont feel that strongly about gender and or dont experience dyphoria, but still prefer getting/removing their tits/penis/vagina. and thats also okay, like, infromed consent and all. but im not sure where the line should be on what we (as in, taxpayer) actually pay for. like, idk, i dont have a strongly formed oppinion on this. so id like to hear yours
I know you're not from the US, but unfortunately my perspective on this will have to be amerocentric because that's my experience- so I'll talk about that perspective first, and then try to generalize it.
The American healthcare system is so wasteful in how it bars people from procedures its insane. More money is spent figuring out how to reject people from receiving monetary payments for healthcare than would be spent if you just approved the overwhelming majority of them. And this isn't even considering other ludicrously wasteful forms of spending the US government does, like the insane portion of our defense budget that just disappears into thin air every year.
So how much additional burden should the taxpayer pay? Ideally, none, because any significant reform of the healthcare system would make all of these questions moot.
But, not every country is in this situation. And there is still a question embedded in here- what is the line of providing medical care from the government/taxpayer? I don't have personal experience with it, but this is exactly what countries with socialized healthcare deal with all the time, well beyond just gender affirming care. I tried to make the parallel with abortion because its a similar category of thing. Let's call it like... "semi-elective" procedures- medical procedures with the potential to significantly improve someone's quality of life, but won't kill or severely incapacitate them if they don't get the procedure, leaving it up to them to decide whether the medical context for the procedure fits for them (I'm NOT trying to lessen how life changing these procedures are, I'm calling them 'semi-elective' as a way of denoting that two people faced with the same situation can make different decisions about it based on their personal considerations). This can apply to a lot of things, some of them almost entirely cosmetic- surgeries to mitigate a mild disability, breast implants for cancer patients after a masectomy, procedures for conditions like cleft lip, facial reconstruction after severe injury, and on and on. To me, gender affirming care falls in this category- its not cancer treatment, but it is life changing in an overwhelmingly positive way.
In my mind, it should be the priority of any government to prioritize and expand the healthcare they're able to provide, including for these semi-elective procedures. Many wealthy, developed nations have the ability to cover most or all of these kinds of procedures, even though they're entirely "elective". But yes, budget and resource concerns are very real in many places, so yes, priorities do have to be made on a national scale. This is a very delicate and interesting question, actually, and there is a lot of room for well-intentioned debate on it.
But I'm not going to answer it.
Because I think you should ask yourself something.
Why is this a question so frequently applied to gender affirming treatments, yet rarely, if ever, applied to any of the other procedures I listed above? I'm not jumping on you, because you asked a genuine question, and I'm glad you asked it. I'm speaking to anyone reading this, not just you, because this exact thing is so frequently brought up when discussing gender affirming care. And that's a double standard through and through- there's no way around that.
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