#idk how or why but they are and it's genuinely beyond my control

[luv-again]

y'all, are we gonna acknowledge this title in the au bc i'm CRYING

"☆ Moment : Shadow & Amy get spicy in the hot tub bc they’re little shits & can’t keep their hands off each other so i have to torture myself writing this abomination ☆"

[arolesbianism]

Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)

[senshibignaturalz]

im not even being funny but this might genuinely be the worst start to a year I've ever had nothing is going right and my whole life just feels really fucking precarious

[atopvisenyashill]

What are your thoughts on GRRM’s new notablog post on HOTD S2?

omg i'm sorry so i did not get notified that i had a few new asks, i didn't even see this until i logged in on desktop. tumblr eat shit smh.

ANYWAYS.

I actually agree with Xiran Jay Zhao, here, where they said this was a warning shot. It feels like a warning shot. Like a "hey I'm being nitpicky and pedantic now but if you think I won't go scroched earth you got another thing coming." I've seen so much "this is unprofessional" "this is annoying" "why is he complaining" and I think it is not only mind boggling to side with a corporation and the idiots running these shows (and we know I mostly like Condal and Hess, but come on Condal was the mastermind of Sansa Bolton why are we defending him right now!!), I think everyone is blowing his comments wildly out of proportion. He didn't take a dig at anyone but the writer's room and more specifically Ryan Condal, who he has had a working relationship with for well over a decade. He didn't shittalk any casting, he didn't shittalk any specific writers or directors except one of the main showrunners, he compliments the special effects, he has consistently had (and imo is careful) nothing but praise for the actors, even minor roles like Blood & Cheese. This was an incredibly milqtoast "please remember that every change has huge affects on the narrative later" critique and the people handwringing over his behavior are absolute losers, I'm sorry.

And beyond the fact that he didn't make any huge digs, I think this conversation also wildly ignores the way authors have no control over their own characters once they sign the rights over. They can be completely bamboozled by changes and they have no recourse to go "what the hell are you doing." And yet, signing your book's rights away (even if the production sits in developmental hell for decades) is usually what nets these author's the most money - GRRM surely makes a shitton off his books, but most authors get paid absolutely nothing even when they're wildly popular because of how book deals work now. Take, again, Xiran for example - Iron Widow was a huge runaway hit, a good and fresh take on this new boom of culturally based sff. And yet Xiran has talked about how they immediately set to work writing a middle grade novel because they desperately needed the money because they got paid 16k over two years for their runaway hit that made their publishers significantly more than 16k. I think George is not only mad for authors with less control than he has but also, obviously, for himself - I've said time and again, but I do think Dark Daenerys is where we are headed, and the fact that they completely botched showing it has got to smart. And if the ending for Dany is anything other than Jon killing her, that has got to smart too. So he watched these people fuck up his original series and push him completely out of that writer's room as they made more and more changes, and now he's watching s2 of HOTD and seeing some changes and getting some real bad vibes. It's not doomerism to think s3 is going to go massively off the rails when we have seasons 6-8 of the main show to show us just how off the rails it can go!

So anyways, that part of my rant over (and please believe me when I say I checked myself here because I could rant for hours about how it's genuinely so upsetting to see people call him unprofessional over this when not only did he write the fucking series, but he's lived in this series for three decades!!!!! this is his whole life, this is his legacy, of course he's feeling some type of way about how it's handled jesus christ on a cracker, there's people who have said worse about their mediocre nyt pushed bestsellers getting adapted badly!), when it comes to the actual meat of his post....I'm sorry idk how anyone is annoyed by this post because it was hilarious to me. He spent a whole blog post whinging about how Dead Baby #4 and Kingsguard Man #12 are gonna get cut out of the show. I think he framed it in that goofy way on purpose to hide how annoyed he is but you can see where the real annoyance lies - the changes to Helaena, losing one of his grisly death scenes, and being willfully mislead about potential changes to the plot. I think a lot of people missed those points but EYE am not a goofy ass like those people and I can guarantee you that Condal and HBO got the point too.

Of course, I do think he is also irked about Maelor and Ser Rickard's scenes being cut out. He wrote a long ass, highly meticulous, near unadaptable work, and I think when he handed the IP over he assumed he was giving it to people who would rise to the challenge and only make cuts when absolutely necessary. And that just clearly hasn't happened. Incredibly important characters get cut, main characters get their plots wildly changed for no reason, and people get personality transplants on a near constant basis for no other reason than D&D and Condal thought it would look cooler. I think if there was more dedication to keeping him in the loop and keeping true to the story, he wouldn't have bitched so much. But Hess is on record saying she doesn't feel loyal to the story and at a certain point, you reach your breaking point there and I think he has finally reached his. AND GOOD FOR HIM. LET THAT OLD MAN GO APESHIT THEY'VE COMPLETLEY FUCKED HIS WORLD UP!!!

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

[typicalkeio]

yapp abt mouthwashing

idk this is kinda my opinion but I always see everyone making really bad ships - granted Anya x Curly is in no way a good ship but its the only one I can find cute. like gen.

The biggest reason why I say that its not a good ship [other then just the lore of the game and unless Anyas got a hidden thing for nuggets idk how that will work] but mainly because everything that happened could have been solved extremely early on. like back when we were going over the phyc evals. no one really comments on the fact that he purposely made her extremely uncomfortable and granted curly did the phyc evals for her but that dosnt change anything given he didn't put any corrective measures in place. and beyond that are we gonna talk Abt how curly lightened all of jimmys answers that we saw on the psych eval? and how curly gave the same answers every time on the phyc evals cuz he knew what would be able to keep him as captain ?

and It genuinely confuses me when ppl say they couldn't do anything cuz their were 200+ days on their trip left. IRL astronauts have their own protocol. if they aren't given one pony express is liable for all damages done, meaning all the family of the crew could and probably will sue if what ever happened actually comes out.

Info i was given after research >

'they would first attempt to contain the situation, immediately notifying ground control and the mission commander, who would then implement established protocols depending on the severity of the crime and the potential threat to the crew'

'this might involve physically restraining the individual, isolating them in a designated area, and coordinating with relevant authorities on Earth to determine the next steps, which could include legal proceedings upon return to Earth depending on the jurisdiction of the perpetrator and victim.'

[damnfandomproblems]

respond to a reply on this post: https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/758279107941466112/fandom-problem-5461-cishet-being-used-to?source=share

"are you seriously equating making fun of a marginalized group to making fun of like, idk gender reveal parties or whatever people in your fandom make fun of cishets for doing? Like I don't mock people based on their sexuality but tell me that you do understand the difference between someone making fun of a marginalized group with a high suicide rate and someone poking fun at straight people.(Also, for the folks making racism comparisons: I'm white and when people make white people jokes about like, white people love avocado toast! White people love yoga and saying buddy! or whatever, 1) I don't mind 2) that's much different than a white person making fun of say, Black people.)"

As a poc, and specifically a queer (cisbi) native american (tlingit) who grew up around cishet white people, when it comes to online and fannish spaces I have noticed that people tend to cross the line from making harmless fun to just straight up expressing and encouraging hatred

While this is definitely a minority of people who believe and act out on these beliefs, there is a problem of people truly believing that cishet white people are all genuinely evil and inherently evil at that, and that the only way to "fix" (cleanse) the world of all problems would to be committed genocide in fandom spaces. They immediately assume the worse and dehumanize and rejected similarities they may share with cishet white people. It's absolutely prejudice and need to not only be called out, but utterly tossed in the bin

I get feeling uncomfortable or even wary of people who appart of the same kind of people who have oppressed you because you are not sure if they too have been indoctrinated into the bigotry, but we live in the modern era, more often then not you'll find that most cishet white people just don't care about poc and queer stuff

Cishet whites aren't responsible for crimes they weren't even alive for, that their ancestors committed. They are far more often ignorant because the education system is shit and has a lot racism/ableism/etc baked into foundation ontop of not really being how to do own research, then they are intentionally malicious and bigoted, and the best way to prevent them from being indoctrinated into bigotry is to just, expose them queers and poc who are chill with them and are willing to educate. Insulting them and assuming they want to hurt minorities just because they're cishet whites is the best way to push them into radical hands that will instead pain queers and poc as the ones who just want to hurt others for being cishet whites, because "obviously" why else would they immediately assume you want hurt them unless they want to hurt you?

Hating anyone for things they cannot control (race, gender, sexuality, etcetera) only breeds more hate. Yeah, don't tolerating bigots, but if genuinely can't stand a certain demographic of people ignore them rather then going out of your way to hate them. Educate if you can, or shut up when talking to people who haven't don't anything to you beyond offend your sensibly for committing the crime of being born a certain way, because otherwise you're just feeding into the genuinely malicious and bigoted peoples hands and making it easier for them to take the ignorant and make them malicious too

Hatred at the end of the day is hatred, sure, it might not be the racist or homophobic flavor of hatred, but it's still hatered. And no one should hate anyone, at least not for the things they can't control (because fuck pedos/rape-philies in general and murders and genuine racists of course, they can all go get shot, don't get me wrong and twist my words like I know some of y'all are just dying to do)

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[i-sveikata]

okay so just finished reading dark heir and let me tell you THEORY TIME:

-okay so my guess is that anharion was actually being magically controlled by the sun king when the lady betrayed sarcean thats why he walked away like it was nothing

-sarcean managed to free him from it and thats why he was able to switch sides in the battle/ follow the desire he feels for sarcean and go against those in the sun kings court and the 'light'

-despite popular belief the collar doesnt actually control him, thats why james didnt feel any compulsion when it was put on again. it was devised by sarcean to ensure anharion has control of his own mind forever and nobody else can ever compel him if he gets magically drained (whilst also being a show of ownership because hes a possessive bastard)

-i also think that how james/anharion was acting once the collar was on wasnt even about being forced to do what will says. it could honestly just be that he understands him so well that he knows the exact right things to say to reassure him? and will was just too afraid at seeing the collar on his throat to look beyond it and consider the possibility of james/anharion actually not being under his control. which could explain that weird moment where he realised james/anharion was mirroring sarceans desires and not actually his own. like those last few moments to me seem like james/anharion trying to talk to sarcean- not will.

-because like maybe they were just genuinely lovers in the past?? Esp if the collar doesnt work how everyone assumes that it does.

-but all the rumours etc surrounding anharion and sarcean and anharions sudden switching of sides could only have been understood as by force because ppl always viewed sarcean and his magic as different and evil?? and anharion being so pure and of 'light' that they could only see it as being corrupted by sarcean and anharion not following him willingly

idk i just feel like theres so much of the story that we havent heard from either anharion or sarcean themselves and these books are about how bad perceptions of people can lead them to ruin and fuel a story rather than the reality of their actions. so anyway im so down for the next book in the hopes that we can learn more about their history!!

[sunfl0wersandillusions]

anyway. when is anybody’s guess (i have 4 days off in the next 6 weeks) but. here are three hypothetical kbms fics that i hope to be the guy to bring to fruition. someday

1) thinkin abt this (https://x.com/3sita_yarou/status/1806973032474595766?s=46 idk how to embed links) fanart by 3sita_tarot on twitter. of uncle mithrun holding obrin’s baby. his facial expressions simultaneously so melancholy and reverent here have me thinkin abt like. mithrun’s learning to experience and accept inherent value, beauty, beyond the constraints of elven society’s definitions of such. obrin and his partner’s love for their child and for one another, despite how noble society has shunned him, audaciously pure and genuine. this i think would work really well alongside kabru, his acceptance in stride over time of laios’s unmasked communication and passionate special interest. both mithrun and kabru have baked into them over time this deference to Da Rules of society, whether it’s elven society’s definition of *value* for mithrun, or kabru’s unique upbringing’s definition of interpersonal communicative *validity*. i see here in mithrun’s acceptance of identifying and owning observation of goodness in the everyday mithrun however struggling, but ultimately resolving to just. call it like he sees it and tell kabru how beautiful he is. whenever it comes to mind. and similarly, where i imagine kabru up to a certain point is a major emotional support of mithrun, i see here kabru allowing himself to be emotionally supported by mithrun, identifying and addressing beyond just denying that such needs even exist. kbms learning to embrace the joys of interpersonal connection beyond their temperance by societal convention.

2. little more toxic. but. some of you are aware of how normal i am about the detail of kabru wanting to learn illusion magic (go read my poem about it on my page i guess) and. thinking about cithis teaching him all hush hush the public can’t know about the king’s advisor fraternizing with this foreign criminal etcetc. she’s earnest and an effective teacher bc they have something of a kinship around their shared deep scrutiny and discerning of people, and a kbms truther as the two of them are dancing around the unique brand of intimacy they share at this point in mithrun’s rehabilitation. but she’s also a bit of an instigator, she lives for the drama (a la neoqueenserenity’s take in their fic good and perilous, if you’re reading this i adore your work xx) so she feeds into kabru’s anxious spiraling rumination on mithrun’s potential feelings and lack thereof, and not-so-subtly encourages him to use his newly developed abilities of magically mind control-esque-ly extracting truth from others… on mithrun, to determine the exact nature of his feelings toward kabru. it’s a low point for him, feeling deep regret for invading the privacy of someone with whom he’s worked to build such singular trust simultaneously with understanding his own fraught mental state and why/how it made him feel like he had to. not justified, but explained. but—what kabru learned was that mithrun’s feelings for kabru… are there, and being under kabru’s influence was the first time mithrun had identified those feelings as such. so mithrun comes to kabru, distraught over how to process these newly realized feelings together with the unsettling invasion of his mind that revealed them. for better or for worse, kabru’s actions didn’t outright destroy the feelings mithrun has for him. and the fact endures that nobody sees, believes in, takes care of mithrun like kabru; mithrun’s not just gonna cut him off forever after this. so as kabru works to regain mithrun’s trust and find it in himself to push past anxiety and insecurity to believe the truth of mithrun’s word without magic, mithrun unpacks the relationship between action(kabru’s) and feeling(his own) and identification thereof.

3. i just think it would be nice if part of mithrun’s journey toward reclaiming desire entailed relearning that he himself is still inherently worthy of being desired. like. as his and kabru’s relationship deepens and grows more physically intimate, mithrun and kabru together tackle mithrun’s staunch avoidance of mirrors; after for so long refusing that relic of his past and thus refusing to ever know his own appearance (he’s just been content the last forty years to know that he is “ugly” by elven standards, that’s all there is to it) i think a really constructive intimate exercise for them would be to stand in front of a mirror together, with kabru showing mithrun all the parts of him he finds beautiful, pink wisps of scars across pale skin like brushstrokes, delicate yet precise and strong hands, etc. mithrun becoming reacquainted with his “ruined” body through the eyes of someone who loves it as it is

can’t promise they’ll be full fics anytime soon but lmk if there’s one you’d especially want to read? i guess? talk to me abt these either way tho pls these two are my saving grace when i come home from this job everyday. and i mean every day. i don’t have another day off until october 8th. ❤️❤️‍🔥✨‼️🤭😍🥰

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Neurodivergency stuff:

Having a character hyperfixation is so bizarre

[a rant about how character hyperfixations are different than special interests, how seeing Hobies makes me feel, and also daydreams that I don't necessarily control]

I talk about stuff like this here because I feel it should be normalized 🥺😁

I love Hobie. He's my hyperfixation.

But it's not like a special interest or normal hyperfixation. Like I love trains and subways and metros and I'll eat up ANYTHING about them but like - the interest is completely from an intellectual standpoint.

My Hobie hyperfixation is completely different.

Bruh I get about as much comfort looking at his photo as I do like hugging my own mother or some shit and that's not an understatement

Especially actual screenshots of the movie. Like I love fanart but for it to hit right it has to be 'actually him'.

Looking at photos of him genuinely calms me down and thinking about his voice makes me feel safe. I trust him.

I can accurately 'daydream' about him doing almost anything in vivid detail, but I'm not necessarily in control of him in those daydreams. There are just certain things he won't do. If I ask him a question I won't know the answer unless I 'ask' him. And if I don't like is answer I can't just change it cause he said what he said!!!

Um but yeah at least for me it's way more than 'Oh I love this character and reading fics about him' and way closer to 'this is somehow a person to me I talk to through my head. And I can feel the same warm feelings towards him as I do an actual existing human.

I know I can't touch him or hug him - and that gives the exact same emotion as if you were missing a friend that went away to college.

I know it's not the same, but my brain produces the same feeling from different scenarios than other people.

Like just by looking at this photo I can imagine the way his vest feels and what is like to hold his hand, and the fabric of his shirt, the way he smells, his guitar by my leg - and it's like ... I'm not trying to do that that's just what happens when I look at the photo

AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT ANY OTHER WAY OR ANY CLEARER AND I-

At least twice I week I have a daydream of Hobie rubbing my back and telling me to calm down and how he understands why I'm upset all in his accent in a very specific detailed rendition of his home thats never been shown on screen before-

And the emotional response is just as real and holds weight in my brain the same. It's way beyond just an intellectual interest, at least in my case.

Character hyperfixations are more emotional connections.

And IDK if that's how it is for everyone else??!!!! But uhhhh!!!!! Yeah- ummmm- haha yah mhm

I hope somebody can relate but like waking up and looking at a Hobie photo feels like waking up beside him and THAT'S THE TRUTH and if you think that's weird or cringe then

Homie idk what you want me to tell you it is what it is

And some people may find that weird or cringe or whatever I don't give the slightest fuck because isn't that amazing that the human brain can do that - see a human creation and take some much meaning and emotion from it, making a full circle of human creation and art powered souly by human emotion and the ridiculously sophisticated imagination humans are only capable of through centuries of evolution right

But can somebody tell me if it's like this for them or if not what does your Hobie hyperfixation look like

Also if you have daydreams too please tell me about them like can you control him in them like a Barbie doll, or is he completely independent?

Mines is probably 90% independent - there's somethings either outside of his character or things he just won't do

[like for those who follow me, in my head I can ask Hobie to take me to the locked basement, and he'll absolutely say no. And if I try to imagine him doing it, the daydream I imagine is a lot more paperthin, plus Hobie will say "That's not it and that's not me, quit imagining me like that-" and I can't continue the daydream

I-]

Since I just exposed myself lemme just-

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/10

What am I feeling today?

Just so so tired, I blame it on us losing an hour. Then again, I also went to bed later than usual bc we were traveling home. Still have some residual stress but it’s calming down, I trust that God will see me through for this week because He always has in the past.

Bible Plan: Healing what’s Hidden

God can handle our emotions

Emotions are like the check-engine light on a car. They don’t tell us exactly what’s wrong, but they alert us that something under the hood needs our attention.

I actually genuinely really love this analogy because that’s so true! You can feel something but have no idea where it could be coming from.

As we’re healing from trauma, it’s important to recognize what we are feeling, but we need to remember that emotions don’t tell the whole story—and they don’t always tell the truth. For example:

You may feel like no one cares about you. That’s a lie.

You may feel like God has abandoned you. He hasn’t.

You may feel like you aren’t going to make it through this trial. You will.

These are really great reminders because they’re thoughts and emotions that I’ve struggled with in the past and I want to get beyond them because I know what the truth is and shouldn’t rely on my emotions to determine what’s real.

The truth is, emotions are not indicative of the presence of God in our situation. Sometimes when we’re happy, we say that we feel God’s presence. Other times, we feel his presence when we weep. But we can be sure of God’s presence even when we can’t feel him. That’s because God’s presence isn’t a feeling; it’s a fact.

Just saying, this is so true!!

Feeling strong emotions isn’t indicative of a lack of faith. Jesus felt strong emotions, and no one would doubt his faith! God can take it when we feel desperate, furious, terrified, or overwhelmed. He wants us to bring the emotions to him and to let his Holy Spirit point us to the source of the emotions so that they can be healed.

This is comforting for me, because a lot of the time I can mentally kick myself for feeling too much or for being someone with such strong emotions and reactions. But there’s nothing wrong with that! The point instead is to take it to God instead of letting it reign over me.

It isn’t about controlling our emotions; it’s about engaging them and allowing God to teach us through them. Our feelings can lie to us, but God will always tell us the truth.

🥹 this is really good for me to read. Because I tend to have a problem with control and that’s why I didn’t like how emotionally I was, because I had no control over them. But it’s not about me controlling or in my case numbing my emotions, but letting God teach me something through it when I give them up to Him.

John 14:26-27 NIV

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

The Holy Spirit is the one that teaches and reminds us, that’s so cool! I think it’s amazing that we have a part of the trinity that’s literally living in us!! Also noting that He does not give as the world does and that we should remain at peace (yes it’s difficult and there will definitely be challenging times but we know we can rely on Him.

Philippians 4:5-7 NIV

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I need to get better about my prayer life. I know that I talk to God a lot but does that count as prayer if I’m not formally presenting it as such? Idk why but sometimes it’s just really hard for me to pray to Him and it really doesn’t make sense. But like I said, I need to get better about it because He wants us to talk to Him about everything!

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

He cares for us!!! Idc how many times I gotta read or reiterate it, it’s true and I need to have it as a constant reminder! Also, with my struggles, the solution is literally right in front of me, I just need to humble myself before Him.

[saglaophonos]

how do you think the last ten minutes could have been better set up? because i have Ideas but i’m also a fool. a fool who did feel the pacing of season two was Off and would not at all have expected the kiss at the end had it not been spoiled for me.

i think the last ten minutes had two glaring set-up problems which were 1. it is way too easy to side with crowley in the break up and 2. aziraphale's decision to go back to heaven seems jarring. and sure, you can argue that you're meant to read them as both at fault, and that aziraphale's current character arc does align with his choice. and youd be right. but also if i had done it, it would've been better. 

1. too easy to side with crowley (crowley needs to be more at fault)

the scene where crowley goes to heaven and learns about the second coming should've happened in episode 3 while aziraphale was in edinburgh. and crowley shouldve spent the next couple of episodes weighing whether or not he should tell aziraphale about what he knows. this would've continued & escalated the conflict of episode one, as crowley knows that telling aziraphale would spur him into action, but crowley's priority is keeping them and their "peaceful existence" undisturbed.

then in episode 5, i would tweak the sequence that starts with nina calling out crowley. crowley's reaction reads as "oh no i'm in love with aziraphale!" and my tweak is it shouldve been "oh no i can't hide my love for aziraphale anymore. i can't avoid the situation coming to a head any longer". crowley is avoidant. avoids external conflicts (the second coming) & avoids internal conflict (feelings for aziraphale). the ep 5 sequence ends with crowley's same conversation with gabriel and he decides that in order to keep them safe, he has to keep aziraphale in the dark about both things.

having crowley make the choice to not communicate with aziraphale be what indirectly leads to aziraphale accepting the archangel position in heaven would be a more satisfying way to punish crowley for his avoidant tendencies, while also bringing into larger emphasis for the viewer that this is something crowley still needs to work out on a character level, but also for their relationship to progress. then, you don't need the fanfictiony "maggie and nina tell crowley to confess" scene, because the reason why crowley confesses becomes obvious within the breakup scene itself. crowley realizes he caused the situation they're in by avoiding the issue; his next strategy is to force them both to confront the issue directly.

2. aziraphale's decision feels really s1 (establish motivation earlier)

okay the aziraphale fix i'll be more brief about. first of all, say you go the above route. having crowley worry that aziraphale would try to prevent the second coming if he found out about it wouldve helped lay the groundwork of explaining aziraphale's choice. but i wouldve also done the following 

the fact that aziraphale really didn't care about maggie and nina getting together until he lied to heaven about it was such a missed opportunity. if aziraphale is insistent that he must and can fix heaven, that could've easily been mirrored though this plot. the aziraphale & maggie scene in episode 1 should've had aziraphale genuinely moved by maggie's plight - instead of brushing her off, he shouldve gotten invested on a personal level. maybe he just wants them to be happy, maybe its made more blatant that he sees the two as parallels for himself & crowley. idk. either way getting them together because of the miracle lie shouldve only been a secondary concern to him. it shouldve been personal. because the plot is all about how, no matter how much aziraphale would like to control the situation and manipulate it into going the way he thinks it ought to go, some things in life are simply beyond your control. but aziraphale can't see that, which would've more blatantly set up his motivation when he makes the choice to go back to heaven. aziraphale cannot reconcile with injustice; yet, in the same way you can't force two people to fall in love, you can't fix heaven.

and honestly? honestly you could tweak more. something you could really tweak for a better set up into episodes 5 & 6, but especially the last ten minutes, is 1941. anyway! can't wait for s3. hope they kiss!

[aces-to-apples]

Fic Self-Recs

Fic authors self rec! List your favorite five fics that you've written, then tag at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Tagged by @dead-cowboy!

It's crazy just how many of these bastards I have published under my own names and yet wouldn't recommend someone read with a gun to my head lol. Also I went with six so I could include one from my SourFacedLemon account:

i. hold it in your mouth for a minute (real hunger has a real taste) (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Glitch/Savage Opress, Explicit)

From the inaugural year of Smut Wars, this actually holds up pretty decently. Takes place vaguely within the Season 5 Crime Lords arc because that must have taken months to accomplish and the visual of Savage and Maul desperately trying to get along with Death Watch for that long amuses me. Included some thoughts about Nightbrothers and clones that I don't usually get to explore since Maul isn't, you know, culturally a Nightbrother. Also I reject the cultural obsession with dick size, I hate it, Savage is the embodiment of "small, leave me alone" and I'll die on that hill. Also also, Glitch is here! He's sweet! He's Force-sensitive! The narrative is in love with him and wants him to live and thrive! It's me, I'm the narrative!

ii. self/less (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Maulsoka, Teen)

Older, and imperfect, but I had a good time with it. This fic has everything: the unhinged Maul-Ahsoka team-up that a Star Wars What If series should explore, Maul being traumatized and terrified and not hiding it well, genderfuckery, two forms of mind-control, the Son and the Daughter escaping Mortis because what do you mean they're just dead now??, Jesse surviving... Short and sweet and well beyond my writing skills to fully flesh out, but I genuinely think there's a decent premise buried in there.

iii. a beast within you (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Maulrex, Explicit)

Also notably imperfect, but another 2023 Smut Wars gift and I spent so much time trying to research octopi and tentacles without actually consuming any tentacle porn, and I want that effort acknowledged. It's a vague Percy Jackson fusion AU, if that's any more enticing. And if you get to the end there's links to some beautiful fucking fanart someone (@omaano) made of it!

iv. pretty (handy with that iron) (Jak and Daxter, Jak/Jinx, Teen)

Transmasculine!Jak who not only has terrible taste in men (Jinx) but also has a vaguely-emasculating-pet-names-induced gender crisis during the sewers escort mission and Daxter doesn't get to rest for a single second. Idk I was feeling silly with this one. It was fun to write and I actually don't regret it lol.

v. all restraint and poised bones (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Maulakin, Teen)

I just love a confused Maul POV in general and also an outsider POV on time travel. It's just so much fun for me personally. Also I know it's because that's the way the timeline shakes out but the fact that Anakin missed meeting Maul and all that that entails by like two hours is as ridiculous to me as the Grievous thing; their unhinged chaotic goblin energies would have bounced off each other and created a feedback loop that would give Sidious a heart attack, so I understand why it never happened. But still.

bonus vi (and vii and viii). The Expansion of Clan Mudhorn (The Mandalorian, Djarin/Leia/Boba, Teen)

I have written non-TCW, non-Maul related Star Wars fics, as difficult as it is to believe. These ones are also silly, and strangely fluffy compared to most of my other content, but it was 2021! Mando S2 had just ended, we had canonical Tem-as-Boba-Fett and were all so excited and optimistic, it was a different time! Honestly my only regret is that I haven't thought until just now to go back and edit them to fix Djarin's name. Everyone is surnaming this poor man who misses his baby so, so much, you guys, that's tragic lmao.

No pressure tagging @hawthornsword @hjbender @darthlivion @mandalorianbrainweasel @inqorporeal and anyone who sees this and wants to play!

[atopvisenyashill]

I need Baela to stop pushing the Rhaecult. Please! I need her to stop being the mediator. Why is she supporting Rhaenyra? Baela has every reason to despise her, especially since she already harbors hatred for her own father. Why should Rhaenyra be any different? So far, every interaction between them has only served to benefit Rhaenyra, and none of it feels genuine. Is it possible that Baela actually wants to be queen? Is she really willing to put her life at risk for Rhaenyra's sake? She lost people dear to her, but that does not seem to matter. Has she stopped mourning for the sake of the crown? But if it’s not ambition driving her, then what is it? Does Baela love Jace? The boy is going through a crisis on multiple levels, yet Baela insists that he must stand by Rhaenyra’s side. It’s as if she’s blind to how Rhaenyra has doomed him. The queen put her own desires above the safety of her sons. “I don’t see what good it would do.” Stop! No! god! Rhaena is much bolder than Baela could ever be! She would have already made a snide comment about the Rhaecult, standing up against this blind support.

Again, not trying to be rude, I can't help if I sound like a snarky asshole that's just my voice but did u not see me complaining about this take last week haha.

Is it possible that Baela actually wants to be queen?

YES. That's what she wants. I think it's incredibly obvious that what she wants is the ability to have control over her life, and the best way to have that control (in her mind) is to be queen alongside Jace. I think Baela fancies herself as a sort of Queen-Rhaena-That-Could-Have-Been ie a bad ass dragon rider beloved by the people capable of striking fear into the hearts of the men around her. I've said this several times - turning against Rhaenyra does not benefit her in any way shape or form so why should she do it? I also don't know what hating Daemon has to do with Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra has consistently attempted to bring Daemon to heel, to get control of his more unsavory personality quirks. What's more is that Baela, like Jace, wants to be given more responsibilities and even though Baela is being given responsibilities as a way of prioritizing Jacaerys' life above hers, she's ultimately getting exactly what she wants from Rhaenyra! She is a confidant, she has a seat at Rhaenyra's councils, she gets to go on cool dragon missions! Why on Earth would Baela ever turn against Rhaenyra if Rhaenyra is giving her exactlyw hat she wants?

Has she stopped mourning for the sake of the crown? But if it’s not ambition driving her, then what is it? Does Baela love Jace? The boy is going through a crisis on multiple levels, yet Baela insists that he must stand by Rhaenyra’s side.

Listen am I saying I like the scene between her and Corlys? No, I hated the way they did the ending I thought it was annoying and sloppy. But these questions you are asking are right there in the show, they're just not answers you like. Jace comes to her after Rhaenys dies and she's got tears still on her cheeks, then shakes herself out of it. Why? Because they are at war and she has bigger problems than sitting around crying. I don't know that Baela is "in love" with Jace but I think it's very clear that she has fondness for him, and has had a fondness for him since they were children. Beyond that, of course she wants him to stand by Rhaenyra's side, Rhaenyra is the Queen Regnant, she's the face of their campaign, and Jacaerys is her heir.

The queen put her own desires above the safety of her sons.

Idk how many times it must be said that while Rhaenyra's affair with Harwin was shortsighted and also clearly happened for several reasons that include resentment and anger, but Rhaenyra couldn't just not have heirs nor could she publicly humiliate the Velaryons by attempting to overrule the marriage the king decreed she must make and set Laenor aside. It was never solely about desire, it was about Rhaenyra being between a rock and a hard place and making a decision that was flawed but had perfectly sound logic behind it. I also don't even think that having someone else's kids and passing them off as Laenor's is inherently a bad idea when you know your husband isn't going to be able to get it up and impregnate you. Her problem is that she doesn't attempt to consolidate power after she has three brown haired boys or make some sort of deal with Corlys & Rhaenys about their marriages before having two more kids once Jace comes out looking like Harwin. Is some of her justification for having an affair with Harwin so long based in resentment over being forced to marry when she doesn't want to, having no choice in her marriage, anger over the fact that Viserys and Daemon can choose who they want and have all the affairs they want but she's denied this because of her gender? Yes, objectively, this is some of her reasoning but it is not all and taking this really messy situation and turning it into "Rhaenyra is a bad mom because she had children out of wedlock" makes you look like a conservative shill bro, i'm sorry.

Rhaena is much bolder than Baela could ever be! She would have already made a snide comment about the Rhaecult, standing up against this blind support.

why are we pitting two bad bitches against each other. furthermore when has rhaena ever made a snide comment against rhaenyra. in fact her snide comments to jeyne arryn were explicitly pro rhaenyra. why are we characterizing what is clearly baela weighing her options of "be nothing with the greens or be The Fucking Queen with rhaenyra" as "blind support." you do realize rhaena went along with rhaenyra's plan to mother her boys in the vale right. what is this version of rhaena and baela you have going on in your head rn because that's not what their show counterparts act like at all!!

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Haven't seen anyone talk about this but it's been on my mind. I loved memory #6 I just genuinely enjoy the Gerudo and adore when they appear. I noticed a couple things about their appearance. Some have shaved hair and Mohawks, they also seem to be wearing war makeup? Also they can control moldugas?! I loved it and it kinda got me thinking... why don't we see Gerudo's with shaved hair? or why does no one mention the fact they can control moldugas. The Gerudo now present more feminine attire; from hair to makeup. Sooo did the Gerudo just phase out of this style? did they forget how to control moldugas? Or did they stop theses traditions because the association with Ganon? or were they forced? idk I just really wanted someone else opinion on this because no one really seems to care. I feel as if it's important to understand tradition and how and why we celebrate it or how or why we stopped celebrating it.

Hellooo sorry for the late reply to that super interesting ask!!

I think it was actually a pretty clever way on the game's part to show (with a bunch of visual shortcuts) that gerudos used to be more warlike under Ganondorf's command, and then phased out of this after the whole Demon King situation --though it is worth notice that the Thunder Sage in the past already looks very much like a modern gerudo, and seems to align with the way they present in the current age.

So this could suggest a split already between the gerudos; either a deep-rooted one that pre-existed the zonai kingdom, or one where gerudos intending to betray Ganondorf perform a more "acceptable" version of femininity to better integrate in hylian society and make themselves less threatening overall. I doubt this version of Ganondorf would value a lot of traits hylians seem to associate with the feminine; it could be either about diplomacy or as an act of rebellion.

But, on a more meta level: I think it still pretty much aligns with every previous discussion about how gerudos softened for the benefit of hylians --or at least, for the player's sake. I don't know if my thoughts diverge enough from the original text to warrant a Gerudo Post 2 post-TotK, beyond moping the puddles of my brazen optimistic approach and meditate on how so much more... on target I was than I ever wanted to be in regards to their developement, but if it doesn't, I want to at least add this: the fact that we get introduced to Gerudo Town from the Bazaar by a bunch of weirdo creeps that want to try the limits of how much they can get away with pushing against the gerudos' boundaries and get inside their spaces because (and I quote, I took the screenshot how could I not) "Keeping us shut out only makes us all the more curious though! I mean, that's just common sense!" (guess who I then left stranded in the desert on purpose by refusing to complete his sidequest :) ), and then... *immediately* forces you, as the player, to act *in the exact same way* by refusing to take no for an answer and busting through the literal floor --like... is Link supposed to be morally different here because he has a better reason than them? Is the parallel meant to be made? I don't know, but it's less about Link than about the player, and I think softening the gerudos so they can be seen in a positive light in contrast to their more warlike ancestors is an interesting conversation to have in parallel of how devoted the BotW/TotK gerudos are to make themselves as palatable as possible to hylian males (= the player).

Again: I loved the scenes involving them, I adored!!! defending the town by their side this was one of the highlights of the game for me. But... Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard not to see the gerudos gradually stripped of their cultural autonomy, presenting their hard boundaries as just a cute thing when you kind of know there was probably a war fought about that at some point (at least in part), and not think to myself that there truly might have been something worth fighting for since devoured and lost.

[kailysander]

Thoughts and opinions of the Dungeon Meshi manga ending?

Hehe gonna put this under a read more

Generally I liked it! I really enjoyed the build up to & the more climactic moments of the manga, the chapters surrounding that are probably some of my faves!

I will be honest tho, I really didn’t expect them to get Falin back, and I’m not really sure how I feel about it as I feel that it goes against the general thesis of the story? Like idk I feel like for a story that is meant to be about coming to terms with death & what cannot be controlled it’s a little out of place… that being said, I do understand why a happy ending for everyone would be opted for, especially with how well Ryoko Kui was able to make her audience care genuinely for the characters and their relationships. I do think it honors the sentimentality of readers over the thesis (which I don’t mean as a criticism as far as good/bad, merely an observation!)

Generally tho as more time passes between when the ending was published and now, I think the ending has grown on me more. I like being able to think of the characters existing beyond the story and finding comfort in their respective lives