#idk how or why but they are and it's genuinely beyond my control

[luv-again]

y'all, are we gonna acknowledge this title in the au bc i'm CRYING

"☆ Moment : Shadow & Amy get spicy in the hot tub bc they’re little shits & can’t keep their hands off each other so i have to torture myself writing this abomination ☆"

[hellspawnmotel]

Hello! I found you through your abduction fanart for deltarune I have not caught up to the weird route yet but I am curios (and generally worried bc I don't really do well w forced romance/physical affection) as to what made you think or read that scene between Kris and Noelle as.... An implied sa scene (?)/gen for the lack of a better term u can ignore and I apologize if that wasn't your intention for the fanart but again I was just curious ^^;;

no worries, it's an honest and genuine question and I absolutely understand why you would want to know about it before going in yourself. I'll try to explain as best I can. (spoilers follow of course)

so first I need to establish this, idk if you'd heard already but the scene was actually patched to have an animation changed. this is the biggest point of contention with people and the main reason cited for that reading of the text: originally, the scene ended with a hard cut to black, apart from an animation of a small rose in the same spot noelle had just been, losing its petals one by one. and we cut right from that to a completely different scene without getting to see the aftermath of what happened to noelle. because of the wilting rose imagery, a lot of people took it to mean that she had been "deflowered", as in the player in kris's body had literally assaulted her. after a few days, the rose animation was changed to instead resemble glass cracking, or thorns blooming outward, or veins, I've seen it referred to as a lot of different things. there's been a ton of discussion about this but my interpretation of the change is that the team wanted to make it clear that an assault was not like, the one true reading of the scene. since noelle's fate beyond that is left fairly ambiguous and we don't have the rest of the game yet, we only have that symbolism to go off of. so I can understand why it could be taken as a literal, textual sexual assault and there could be a lot of controversy around that.

that said, the rose animation wasn't the ONLY thing that gave people that idea. the entire scene leading up to it is extremely intimate in a very scary and uncomfortable way. it involves kris and noelle alone together in noelle's bedroom, trying to have a serious conversation that is interrupted by the player taking full control of kris, revealing to noelle that the "dream" was real, and that we can hear her thoughts. the climax of the scene is "kris" crowding closer and closer to noelle as she desperately tries to move away, pleading for us to stop, until she's backed into a corner. "kris" then grabs her arm, noelle screams, and the thorn ring is painfully forced back onto her finger. cut to black. I don't know if I need to explain the parallels there.

I want to be clear that I don't think there's a "correct" way to read this scene, it's vague on purpose and left to the viewer's imagination. I personally don't actually see it as a textual assault- I see it as a metaphorical one. but some people do read it as textual, and others don't read it as relating to SA at all. I think all of these interpretations are completely valid, but there's no way to know how each individual person sees it. that's why I tagged my art as SA. I was not intending to imply it's literally what I believe happened, but I understood that the framing and imagery has the potential to inspire that idea and by that logic it could also be really upsetting to people who need to filter it out. (the caption of course nods to that as well; "the abduction of proserpina" refers to a famous sculpture that is more commonly known as "the rape of proserpina", though "abduction" is a more accurate translation. I wanted to make a reference to the darker interpretation while still giving it plausible deniability, which is what I see the actual text as, and also reference the myth of hades and persephone at the same time. so it WAS intentional on my part but like. symbolically.)

I hope this clears things up for you and also helps you decide whether you want to see that part of the game for yourself. keep in mind, whatever you take away from it is totally valid, and the same goes for everyone else. it's a really fucked up scene either way and I don't like that people are pointing fingers at each other for how we choose to read it.

[atopvisenyashill]

What are your thoughts on GRRM’s new notablog post on HOTD S2?

omg i'm sorry so i did not get notified that i had a few new asks, i didn't even see this until i logged in on desktop. tumblr eat shit smh.

ANYWAYS.

I actually agree with Xiran Jay Zhao, here, where they said this was a warning shot. It feels like a warning shot. Like a "hey I'm being nitpicky and pedantic now but if you think I won't go scroched earth you got another thing coming." I've seen so much "this is unprofessional" "this is annoying" "why is he complaining" and I think it is not only mind boggling to side with a corporation and the idiots running these shows (and we know I mostly like Condal and Hess, but come on Condal was the mastermind of Sansa Bolton why are we defending him right now!!), I think everyone is blowing his comments wildly out of proportion. He didn't take a dig at anyone but the writer's room and more specifically Ryan Condal, who he has had a working relationship with for well over a decade. He didn't shittalk any casting, he didn't shittalk any specific writers or directors except one of the main showrunners, he compliments the special effects, he has consistently had (and imo is careful) nothing but praise for the actors, even minor roles like Blood & Cheese. This was an incredibly milqtoast "please remember that every change has huge affects on the narrative later" critique and the people handwringing over his behavior are absolute losers, I'm sorry.

And beyond the fact that he didn't make any huge digs, I think this conversation also wildly ignores the way authors have no control over their own characters once they sign the rights over. They can be completely bamboozled by changes and they have no recourse to go "what the hell are you doing." And yet, signing your book's rights away (even if the production sits in developmental hell for decades) is usually what nets these author's the most money - GRRM surely makes a shitton off his books, but most authors get paid absolutely nothing even when they're wildly popular because of how book deals work now. Take, again, Xiran for example - Iron Widow was a huge runaway hit, a good and fresh take on this new boom of culturally based sff. And yet Xiran has talked about how they immediately set to work writing a middle grade novel because they desperately needed the money because they got paid 16k over two years for their runaway hit that made their publishers significantly more than 16k. I think George is not only mad for authors with less control than he has but also, obviously, for himself - I've said time and again, but I do think Dark Daenerys is where we are headed, and the fact that they completely botched showing it has got to smart. And if the ending for Dany is anything other than Jon killing her, that has got to smart too. So he watched these people fuck up his original series and push him completely out of that writer's room as they made more and more changes, and now he's watching s2 of HOTD and seeing some changes and getting some real bad vibes. It's not doomerism to think s3 is going to go massively off the rails when we have seasons 6-8 of the main show to show us just how off the rails it can go!

So anyways, that part of my rant over (and please believe me when I say I checked myself here because I could rant for hours about how it's genuinely so upsetting to see people call him unprofessional over this when not only did he write the fucking series, but he's lived in this series for three decades!!!!! this is his whole life, this is his legacy, of course he's feeling some type of way about how it's handled jesus christ on a cracker, there's people who have said worse about their mediocre nyt pushed bestsellers getting adapted badly!), when it comes to the actual meat of his post....I'm sorry idk how anyone is annoyed by this post because it was hilarious to me. He spent a whole blog post whinging about how Dead Baby #4 and Kingsguard Man #12 are gonna get cut out of the show. I think he framed it in that goofy way on purpose to hide how annoyed he is but you can see where the real annoyance lies - the changes to Helaena, losing one of his grisly death scenes, and being willfully mislead about potential changes to the plot. I think a lot of people missed those points but EYE am not a goofy ass like those people and I can guarantee you that Condal and HBO got the point too.

Of course, I do think he is also irked about Maelor and Ser Rickard's scenes being cut out. He wrote a long ass, highly meticulous, near unadaptable work, and I think when he handed the IP over he assumed he was giving it to people who would rise to the challenge and only make cuts when absolutely necessary. And that just clearly hasn't happened. Incredibly important characters get cut, main characters get their plots wildly changed for no reason, and people get personality transplants on a near constant basis for no other reason than D&D and Condal thought it would look cooler. I think if there was more dedication to keeping him in the loop and keeping true to the story, he wouldn't have bitched so much. But Hess is on record saying she doesn't feel loyal to the story and at a certain point, you reach your breaking point there and I think he has finally reached his. AND GOOD FOR HIM. LET THAT OLD MAN GO APESHIT THEY'VE COMPLETLEY FUCKED HIS WORLD UP!!!

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

[lullambre]

okay, not to burst some bubbles, but i do LOVE ls!kazam.. i just know it would never work out? like i love the idea of kazam... like... okay, so kazam will never be a healthy thing until kaboodle understands herself or understands how to healthily manage her feelings in regards to her lack of ... guidance? all she has is karmas law to guide her morals and actions, but that's a thing she keeps separated from her "true" self. like some omnipotent thing she can't control (she can) [more below cut... this is a YAP fest now]

and on top of that, her mistreatment (intentional or not) of zam, and even other people around her is so? like okay, lets not get upset she killed a naked jepexx, lets not be stupid, the same thing has happened to her before so she just thinks its a thing that happens, its not right but i'll defend her there.

but her interpersonal relationships really bum me out? i think lskab is vv capable of learning, and her parallel of s4 zam w eclipsefed and zam taking that role for her... like zam grew, and so could they but for now? It's understandable why people dont like lskab, because we dont even know who lskab is... like? what does she stand for? what are her morals? she could say it's karmas law and keeping the server going, but is it?

take for example, mawn. zam and kab both love spawn and want preserve it, constantly rebuilding the homes and builds there, but when mawn came around, while yes zam left bcs he didnt wanna fight mapicc, another reason is bcs zam acknowledged people LIKED mawn. they ENJOYED not dying every time they went to mawn. and zam was unwilling to take that from the server

meanwhile, kab wants to keep spawn active, so she created her own, one that actively rivals mawn not just in name but in status, in activity, in function. and she seems to behave so naively about it? she thinks no one will blow it up, but manepear isn't the only one with access to tnt, and sure, re:spawn is above mawn, but it's the same chunks? if the stone and caves below mawn are still mawn, if zams Island is still mawn, then surely, so is re:spawn? i feel like.. this wasn't thought through very well... and beyond that, it's the fact that kab keeps going, "No one, person should own spawn," but mawn belongs to flame AND mapicc... and to a certain extent? even spoke and jepexx

It's just idk... lskab doesn't think through things vv well because she has a certain belief of how people act, and she thinks they wouldn't defy their expectations. meanwhile, zam is someone who thinks and overthinks every action every word, every look he gives up. its to the point that he gives people the bod because he KNOWS them, while lskab decides to trust immediately and then despise... kab is so .... genuinely interesting?

like i get so annoyed w lskabs mischaracterizations sometimes, but i love that? its so human to expect someone to behave one way and be shocked when they dont. even though i do think lskab and zam could def learn from one another, lskab holds a refreshing pov (being a new player and encouraging zam to build a place for himself [i think?!]) and zam holds very wise advice (for a new player whos going a similar path, zam is a very reliable person rn and a very loyal one too, beyond his paranoia), idk i just think they could be an awesome duo and even though theyre super toxic and fit like a dog and a cat, kazam is vv interesting and i hate that people just dont want to talk about it...

like you either hate lskab or love her, and im like... can we acknowledge her flaws and their misguided nature while also seeing her strengths and kindness and love?? i am talking abt lstwt btw,,, vv scary rn... anyways.. shoutout kazam, i hope they go to prom together and have another falling out bcs, lskab reminds zam why he is so uncomfortable around them!

or ideally, in a perfect world shaped in my image, zam and planet go together since bacon won't take planet.... dandelion duo COME BACK PLEASEEEEEE

[qrovidcore]

Rincewind core character trait: When not running for his life, he is at all times trying so hard to Understand.

Somewhat contrast to Twoflower who is Curious but easily upset by having to integrate reality into his preconceived ideas. He wants to look at things/experience things, but not necessarily understand.

Definite contrast to the wizards who are Theoretically seeking to understand things (They're academics! And seeking to master spells & power) but especially in Trymon's case it's not about understanding. For Trymon it's about control, learning just enough about something to make use of it, not caring about the aspects of a thing that can't serve his purposes. And the other wizards are hamstrung by tradition, ambitious but too inflexible in their thinking to reassess previous assumptions without a massive external push.

Whereas Rincewind just wants things to make sense (autism empathy activated). It's frustrating to him when poor communication/refusal to listen to others results in negative consequences, and he's constantly reaching for some explanation of the mechanics of the world beyond "look, this works, what does it matter *why*?"

He's so good at languages, but he still can't seem to make anybody REALLY understand... T_T

Idk what my coherence level is I just like making links.

you’re so right you’re so right you’re SO right. ABSOLUTELY this is what i wanted to get at and you’ve put it into VERY good words!!!!!!!

just. lots and lots of stray thoughts about languages and understanding vibrating around in my brain at a speed that could shatter glass. thinking about trymon betraying and tossing aside literally anyone who doesn’t serve his purposes even AFTER he knows he has power over them. thinking about rincewind who canonically works as a translator and how this does inherently require a capacity for understanding quite a lot about the world and about the people in it and how that trait is in fact so core to how rincewind approaches everything, even though he hates Having Adventures About It. and twoflower IS rincewind’s opposite, wanting to experience the world without ever seeking to understand it beyond what he’s preconceived about it, except that twoflower does, in fact, come to genuinely understand rincewind, which you’ve only made me MORE emotional about!!!!!! putting it like that!!!!!!!!!!!!

[typicalkeio]

yapp abt mouthwashing

idk this is kinda my opinion but I always see everyone making really bad ships - granted Anya x Curly is in no way a good ship but its the only one I can find cute. like gen.

The biggest reason why I say that its not a good ship [other then just the lore of the game and unless Anyas got a hidden thing for nuggets idk how that will work] but mainly because everything that happened could have been solved extremely early on. like back when we were going over the phyc evals. no one really comments on the fact that he purposely made her extremely uncomfortable and granted curly did the phyc evals for her but that dosnt change anything given he didn't put any corrective measures in place. and beyond that are we gonna talk Abt how curly lightened all of jimmys answers that we saw on the psych eval? and how curly gave the same answers every time on the phyc evals cuz he knew what would be able to keep him as captain ?

and It genuinely confuses me when ppl say they couldn't do anything cuz their were 200+ days on their trip left. IRL astronauts have their own protocol. if they aren't given one pony express is liable for all damages done, meaning all the family of the crew could and probably will sue if what ever happened actually comes out.

Info i was given after research >

'they would first attempt to contain the situation, immediately notifying ground control and the mission commander, who would then implement established protocols depending on the severity of the crime and the potential threat to the crew'

'this might involve physically restraining the individual, isolating them in a designated area, and coordinating with relevant authorities on Earth to determine the next steps, which could include legal proceedings upon return to Earth depending on the jurisdiction of the perpetrator and victim.'

[damnfandomproblems]

respond to a reply on this post: https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/758279107941466112/fandom-problem-5461-cishet-being-used-to?source=share

"are you seriously equating making fun of a marginalized group to making fun of like, idk gender reveal parties or whatever people in your fandom make fun of cishets for doing? Like I don't mock people based on their sexuality but tell me that you do understand the difference between someone making fun of a marginalized group with a high suicide rate and someone poking fun at straight people.(Also, for the folks making racism comparisons: I'm white and when people make white people jokes about like, white people love avocado toast! White people love yoga and saying buddy! or whatever, 1) I don't mind 2) that's much different than a white person making fun of say, Black people.)"

As a poc, and specifically a queer (cisbi) native american (tlingit) who grew up around cishet white people, when it comes to online and fannish spaces I have noticed that people tend to cross the line from making harmless fun to just straight up expressing and encouraging hatred

While this is definitely a minority of people who believe and act out on these beliefs, there is a problem of people truly believing that cishet white people are all genuinely evil and inherently evil at that, and that the only way to "fix" (cleanse) the world of all problems would to be committed genocide in fandom spaces. They immediately assume the worse and dehumanize and rejected similarities they may share with cishet white people. It's absolutely prejudice and need to not only be called out, but utterly tossed in the bin

I get feeling uncomfortable or even wary of people who appart of the same kind of people who have oppressed you because you are not sure if they too have been indoctrinated into the bigotry, but we live in the modern era, more often then not you'll find that most cishet white people just don't care about poc and queer stuff

Cishet whites aren't responsible for crimes they weren't even alive for, that their ancestors committed. They are far more often ignorant because the education system is shit and has a lot racism/ableism/etc baked into foundation ontop of not really being how to do own research, then they are intentionally malicious and bigoted, and the best way to prevent them from being indoctrinated into bigotry is to just, expose them queers and poc who are chill with them and are willing to educate. Insulting them and assuming they want to hurt minorities just because they're cishet whites is the best way to push them into radical hands that will instead pain queers and poc as the ones who just want to hurt others for being cishet whites, because "obviously" why else would they immediately assume you want hurt them unless they want to hurt you?

Hating anyone for things they cannot control (race, gender, sexuality, etcetera) only breeds more hate. Yeah, don't tolerating bigots, but if genuinely can't stand a certain demographic of people ignore them rather then going out of your way to hate them. Educate if you can, or shut up when talking to people who haven't don't anything to you beyond offend your sensibly for committing the crime of being born a certain way, because otherwise you're just feeding into the genuinely malicious and bigoted peoples hands and making it easier for them to take the ignorant and make them malicious too

Hatred at the end of the day is hatred, sure, it might not be the racist or homophobic flavor of hatred, but it's still hatered. And no one should hate anyone, at least not for the things they can't control (because fuck pedos/rape-philies in general and murders and genuine racists of course, they can all go get shot, don't get me wrong and twist my words like I know some of y'all are just dying to do)

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[sunfl0wersandillusions]

anyway. when is anybody’s guess (i have 4 days off in the next 6 weeks) but. here are three hypothetical kbms fics that i hope to be the guy to bring to fruition. someday

1) thinkin abt this (https://x.com/3sita_yarou/status/1806973032474595766?s=46 idk how to embed links) fanart by 3sita_tarot on twitter. of uncle mithrun holding obrin’s baby. his facial expressions simultaneously so melancholy and reverent here have me thinkin abt like. mithrun’s learning to experience and accept inherent value, beauty, beyond the constraints of elven society’s definitions of such. obrin and his partner’s love for their child and for one another, despite how noble society has shunned him, audaciously pure and genuine. this i think would work really well alongside kabru, his acceptance in stride over time of laios’s unmasked communication and passionate special interest. both mithrun and kabru have baked into them over time this deference to Da Rules of society, whether it’s elven society’s definition of *value* for mithrun, or kabru’s unique upbringing’s definition of interpersonal communicative *validity*. i see here in mithrun’s acceptance of identifying and owning observation of goodness in the everyday mithrun however struggling, but ultimately resolving to just. call it like he sees it and tell kabru how beautiful he is. whenever it comes to mind. and similarly, where i imagine kabru up to a certain point is a major emotional support of mithrun, i see here kabru allowing himself to be emotionally supported by mithrun, identifying and addressing beyond just denying that such needs even exist. kbms learning to embrace the joys of interpersonal connection beyond their temperance by societal convention.

2. little more toxic. but. some of you are aware of how normal i am about the detail of kabru wanting to learn illusion magic (go read my poem about it on my page i guess) and. thinking about cithis teaching him all hush hush the public can’t know about the king’s advisor fraternizing with this foreign criminal etcetc. she’s earnest and an effective teacher bc they have something of a kinship around their shared deep scrutiny and discerning of people, and a kbms truther as the two of them are dancing around the unique brand of intimacy they share at this point in mithrun’s rehabilitation. but she’s also a bit of an instigator, she lives for the drama (a la neoqueenserenity’s take in their fic good and perilous, if you’re reading this i adore your work xx) so she feeds into kabru’s anxious spiraling rumination on mithrun’s potential feelings and lack thereof, and not-so-subtly encourages him to use his newly developed abilities of magically mind control-esque-ly extracting truth from others… on mithrun, to determine the exact nature of his feelings toward kabru. it’s a low point for him, feeling deep regret for invading the privacy of someone with whom he’s worked to build such singular trust simultaneously with understanding his own fraught mental state and why/how it made him feel like he had to. not justified, but explained. but—what kabru learned was that mithrun’s feelings for kabru… are there, and being under kabru’s influence was the first time mithrun had identified those feelings as such. so mithrun comes to kabru, distraught over how to process these newly realized feelings together with the unsettling invasion of his mind that revealed them. for better or for worse, kabru’s actions didn’t outright destroy the feelings mithrun has for him. and the fact endures that nobody sees, believes in, takes care of mithrun like kabru; mithrun’s not just gonna cut him off forever after this. so as kabru works to regain mithrun’s trust and find it in himself to push past anxiety and insecurity to believe the truth of mithrun’s word without magic, mithrun unpacks the relationship between action(kabru’s) and feeling(his own) and identification thereof.

3. i just think it would be nice if part of mithrun’s journey toward reclaiming desire entailed relearning that he himself is still inherently worthy of being desired. like. as his and kabru’s relationship deepens and grows more physically intimate, mithrun and kabru together tackle mithrun’s staunch avoidance of mirrors; after for so long refusing that relic of his past and thus refusing to ever know his own appearance (he’s just been content the last forty years to know that he is “ugly” by elven standards, that’s all there is to it) i think a really constructive intimate exercise for them would be to stand in front of a mirror together, with kabru showing mithrun all the parts of him he finds beautiful, pink wisps of scars across pale skin like brushstrokes, delicate yet precise and strong hands, etc. mithrun becoming reacquainted with his “ruined” body through the eyes of someone who loves it as it is

can’t promise they’ll be full fics anytime soon but lmk if there’s one you’d especially want to read? i guess? talk to me abt these either way tho pls these two are my saving grace when i come home from this job everyday. and i mean every day. i don’t have another day off until october 8th. ❤️❤️‍🔥✨‼️🤭😍🥰

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Neurodivergency stuff:

Having a character hyperfixation is so bizarre

[a rant about how character hyperfixations are different than special interests, how seeing Hobies makes me feel, and also daydreams that I don't necessarily control]

I talk about stuff like this here because I feel it should be normalized 🥺😁

I love Hobie. He's my hyperfixation.

But it's not like a special interest or normal hyperfixation. Like I love trains and subways and metros and I'll eat up ANYTHING about them but like - the interest is completely from an intellectual standpoint.

My Hobie hyperfixation is completely different.

Bruh I get about as much comfort looking at his photo as I do like hugging my own mother or some shit and that's not an understatement

Especially actual screenshots of the movie. Like I love fanart but for it to hit right it has to be 'actually him'.

Looking at photos of him genuinely calms me down and thinking about his voice makes me feel safe. I trust him.

I can accurately 'daydream' about him doing almost anything in vivid detail, but I'm not necessarily in control of him in those daydreams. There are just certain things he won't do. If I ask him a question I won't know the answer unless I 'ask' him. And if I don't like is answer I can't just change it cause he said what he said!!!

Um but yeah at least for me it's way more than 'Oh I love this character and reading fics about him' and way closer to 'this is somehow a person to me I talk to through my head. And I can feel the same warm feelings towards him as I do an actual existing human.

I know I can't touch him or hug him - and that gives the exact same emotion as if you were missing a friend that went away to college.

I know it's not the same, but my brain produces the same feeling from different scenarios than other people.

Like just by looking at this photo I can imagine the way his vest feels and what is like to hold his hand, and the fabric of his shirt, the way he smells, his guitar by my leg - and it's like ... I'm not trying to do that that's just what happens when I look at the photo

AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT ANY OTHER WAY OR ANY CLEARER AND I-

At least twice I week I have a daydream of Hobie rubbing my back and telling me to calm down and how he understands why I'm upset all in his accent in a very specific detailed rendition of his home thats never been shown on screen before-

And the emotional response is just as real and holds weight in my brain the same. It's way beyond just an intellectual interest, at least in my case.

Character hyperfixations are more emotional connections.

And IDK if that's how it is for everyone else??!!!! But uhhhh!!!!! Yeah- ummmm- haha yah mhm

I hope somebody can relate but like waking up and looking at a Hobie photo feels like waking up beside him and THAT'S THE TRUTH and if you think that's weird or cringe then

Homie idk what you want me to tell you it is what it is

And some people may find that weird or cringe or whatever I don't give the slightest fuck because isn't that amazing that the human brain can do that - see a human creation and take some much meaning and emotion from it, making a full circle of human creation and art powered souly by human emotion and the ridiculously sophisticated imagination humans are only capable of through centuries of evolution right

But can somebody tell me if it's like this for them or if not what does your Hobie hyperfixation look like

Also if you have daydreams too please tell me about them like can you control him in them like a Barbie doll, or is he completely independent?

Mines is probably 90% independent - there's somethings either outside of his character or things he just won't do

[like for those who follow me, in my head I can ask Hobie to take me to the locked basement, and he'll absolutely say no. And if I try to imagine him doing it, the daydream I imagine is a lot more paperthin, plus Hobie will say "That's not it and that's not me, quit imagining me like that-" and I can't continue the daydream

I-]

Since I just exposed myself lemme just-

[atopvisenyashill]

I need Baela to stop pushing the Rhaecult. Please! I need her to stop being the mediator. Why is she supporting Rhaenyra? Baela has every reason to despise her, especially since she already harbors hatred for her own father. Why should Rhaenyra be any different? So far, every interaction between them has only served to benefit Rhaenyra, and none of it feels genuine. Is it possible that Baela actually wants to be queen? Is she really willing to put her life at risk for Rhaenyra's sake? She lost people dear to her, but that does not seem to matter. Has she stopped mourning for the sake of the crown? But if it’s not ambition driving her, then what is it? Does Baela love Jace? The boy is going through a crisis on multiple levels, yet Baela insists that he must stand by Rhaenyra’s side. It’s as if she’s blind to how Rhaenyra has doomed him. The queen put her own desires above the safety of her sons. “I don’t see what good it would do.” Stop! No! god! Rhaena is much bolder than Baela could ever be! She would have already made a snide comment about the Rhaecult, standing up against this blind support.

Again, not trying to be rude, I can't help if I sound like a snarky asshole that's just my voice but did u not see me complaining about this take last week haha.

Is it possible that Baela actually wants to be queen?

YES. That's what she wants. I think it's incredibly obvious that what she wants is the ability to have control over her life, and the best way to have that control (in her mind) is to be queen alongside Jace. I think Baela fancies herself as a sort of Queen-Rhaena-That-Could-Have-Been ie a bad ass dragon rider beloved by the people capable of striking fear into the hearts of the men around her. I've said this several times - turning against Rhaenyra does not benefit her in any way shape or form so why should she do it? I also don't know what hating Daemon has to do with Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra has consistently attempted to bring Daemon to heel, to get control of his more unsavory personality quirks. What's more is that Baela, like Jace, wants to be given more responsibilities and even though Baela is being given responsibilities as a way of prioritizing Jacaerys' life above hers, she's ultimately getting exactly what she wants from Rhaenyra! She is a confidant, she has a seat at Rhaenyra's councils, she gets to go on cool dragon missions! Why on Earth would Baela ever turn against Rhaenyra if Rhaenyra is giving her exactlyw hat she wants?

Has she stopped mourning for the sake of the crown? But if it’s not ambition driving her, then what is it? Does Baela love Jace? The boy is going through a crisis on multiple levels, yet Baela insists that he must stand by Rhaenyra’s side.

Listen am I saying I like the scene between her and Corlys? No, I hated the way they did the ending I thought it was annoying and sloppy. But these questions you are asking are right there in the show, they're just not answers you like. Jace comes to her after Rhaenys dies and she's got tears still on her cheeks, then shakes herself out of it. Why? Because they are at war and she has bigger problems than sitting around crying. I don't know that Baela is "in love" with Jace but I think it's very clear that she has fondness for him, and has had a fondness for him since they were children. Beyond that, of course she wants him to stand by Rhaenyra's side, Rhaenyra is the Queen Regnant, she's the face of their campaign, and Jacaerys is her heir.

The queen put her own desires above the safety of her sons.

Idk how many times it must be said that while Rhaenyra's affair with Harwin was shortsighted and also clearly happened for several reasons that include resentment and anger, but Rhaenyra couldn't just not have heirs nor could she publicly humiliate the Velaryons by attempting to overrule the marriage the king decreed she must make and set Laenor aside. It was never solely about desire, it was about Rhaenyra being between a rock and a hard place and making a decision that was flawed but had perfectly sound logic behind it. I also don't even think that having someone else's kids and passing them off as Laenor's is inherently a bad idea when you know your husband isn't going to be able to get it up and impregnate you. Her problem is that she doesn't attempt to consolidate power after she has three brown haired boys or make some sort of deal with Corlys & Rhaenys about their marriages before having two more kids once Jace comes out looking like Harwin. Is some of her justification for having an affair with Harwin so long based in resentment over being forced to marry when she doesn't want to, having no choice in her marriage, anger over the fact that Viserys and Daemon can choose who they want and have all the affairs they want but she's denied this because of her gender? Yes, objectively, this is some of her reasoning but it is not all and taking this really messy situation and turning it into "Rhaenyra is a bad mom because she had children out of wedlock" makes you look like a conservative shill bro, i'm sorry.

Rhaena is much bolder than Baela could ever be! She would have already made a snide comment about the Rhaecult, standing up against this blind support.

why are we pitting two bad bitches against each other. furthermore when has rhaena ever made a snide comment against rhaenyra. in fact her snide comments to jeyne arryn were explicitly pro rhaenyra. why are we characterizing what is clearly baela weighing her options of "be nothing with the greens or be The Fucking Queen with rhaenyra" as "blind support." you do realize rhaena went along with rhaenyra's plan to mother her boys in the vale right. what is this version of rhaena and baela you have going on in your head rn because that's not what their show counterparts act like at all!!

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/10

What am I feeling today?

Just so so tired, I blame it on us losing an hour. Then again, I also went to bed later than usual bc we were traveling home. Still have some residual stress but it’s calming down, I trust that God will see me through for this week because He always has in the past.

Bible Plan: Healing what’s Hidden

God can handle our emotions

Emotions are like the check-engine light on a car. They don’t tell us exactly what’s wrong, but they alert us that something under the hood needs our attention.

I actually genuinely really love this analogy because that’s so true! You can feel something but have no idea where it could be coming from.

As we’re healing from trauma, it’s important to recognize what we are feeling, but we need to remember that emotions don’t tell the whole story—and they don’t always tell the truth. For example:

You may feel like no one cares about you. That’s a lie.

You may feel like God has abandoned you. He hasn’t.

You may feel like you aren’t going to make it through this trial. You will.

These are really great reminders because they’re thoughts and emotions that I’ve struggled with in the past and I want to get beyond them because I know what the truth is and shouldn’t rely on my emotions to determine what’s real.

The truth is, emotions are not indicative of the presence of God in our situation. Sometimes when we’re happy, we say that we feel God’s presence. Other times, we feel his presence when we weep. But we can be sure of God’s presence even when we can’t feel him. That’s because God’s presence isn’t a feeling; it’s a fact.

Just saying, this is so true!!

Feeling strong emotions isn’t indicative of a lack of faith. Jesus felt strong emotions, and no one would doubt his faith! God can take it when we feel desperate, furious, terrified, or overwhelmed. He wants us to bring the emotions to him and to let his Holy Spirit point us to the source of the emotions so that they can be healed.

This is comforting for me, because a lot of the time I can mentally kick myself for feeling too much or for being someone with such strong emotions and reactions. But there’s nothing wrong with that! The point instead is to take it to God instead of letting it reign over me.

It isn’t about controlling our emotions; it’s about engaging them and allowing God to teach us through them. Our feelings can lie to us, but God will always tell us the truth.

🥹 this is really good for me to read. Because I tend to have a problem with control and that’s why I didn’t like how emotionally I was, because I had no control over them. But it’s not about me controlling or in my case numbing my emotions, but letting God teach me something through it when I give them up to Him.

John 14:26-27 NIV

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

The Holy Spirit is the one that teaches and reminds us, that’s so cool! I think it’s amazing that we have a part of the trinity that’s literally living in us!! Also noting that He does not give as the world does and that we should remain at peace (yes it’s difficult and there will definitely be challenging times but we know we can rely on Him.

Philippians 4:5-7 NIV

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I need to get better about my prayer life. I know that I talk to God a lot but does that count as prayer if I’m not formally presenting it as such? Idk why but sometimes it’s just really hard for me to pray to Him and it really doesn’t make sense. But like I said, I need to get better about it because He wants us to talk to Him about everything!

1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

He cares for us!!! Idc how many times I gotta read or reiterate it, it’s true and I need to have it as a constant reminder! Also, with my struggles, the solution is literally right in front of me, I just need to humble myself before Him.

[kailysander]

Thoughts and opinions of the Dungeon Meshi manga ending?

Hehe gonna put this under a read more

Generally I liked it! I really enjoyed the build up to & the more climactic moments of the manga, the chapters surrounding that are probably some of my faves!

I will be honest tho, I really didn’t expect them to get Falin back, and I’m not really sure how I feel about it as I feel that it goes against the general thesis of the story? Like idk I feel like for a story that is meant to be about coming to terms with death & what cannot be controlled it’s a little out of place… that being said, I do understand why a happy ending for everyone would be opted for, especially with how well Ryoko Kui was able to make her audience care genuinely for the characters and their relationships. I do think it honors the sentimentality of readers over the thesis (which I don’t mean as a criticism as far as good/bad, merely an observation!)

Generally tho as more time passes between when the ending was published and now, I think the ending has grown on me more. I like being able to think of the characters existing beyond the story and finding comfort in their respective lives

[charlesdesvoeux]

top five terror men (this is a command)

I got another ask which is about my favorite tertiary characters so these will be excluded from my ranking so here's my top 5 terror guys (main and secondary characters edition)*

1. John Irving: as I said in my pinned post I am a JIRVGIRL AT HEART. idk man everything about his character is delicious to me. the self-denial and subsequent mixture of self-righteousness ("I'm better than you bc I can repress control myself") and self-loathing ("I'm horrible bc I feel these things and I'm going to hell I'm not good enough") is just. chef's kiss to me. he makes me crazy.

2. Cornelius Hickey: my baby my cult leader my everything. one of the more overtly "villainous" characters but he was so masterfully written and portrayed that he feels like a real human being; i feel like I can *understand* why he does everything that he does, every loathsome action, we understand why he thinks what he thinks why he made the choices that he made. even if the show gives us very little information on his backstory we can fill in the blanks- the "bugger Nelson, bugger Victoria" speech is so telling!!! I love him beyond words.

(Jirv and Hickey are my top 2 characters even including my pet tertiary guys)

3. Edward Little: I was really struck on my second watch by how much *rage* he's repressing, which is something I hadn't noticed my first time around (when I didn't even register his existence until like ep 5). this is in many ways a show about the failures of the people in charge- from the Admiralty picking goldner cans bc of the low price and not sending rescue earlier, to Sir John's hubris and Crozier's MANY failings as captain- and when our boy ned gets put in charge what does he do? he fails ❤️ which was not entirely his fault, the guys' reluctance to go save crozier is due to them both being tired as hell and probably not liking crozier all that much. his relationship to crozier is also fascinating to me, he's soooo eldest daughter coded I felt it in my bones (also an eldest daughter, also a flop). he hates what crozier put him through in eps 4 and 5 due to his faulty leadership, but I think he also develops respect for him due to trying to kick his addiction and everything that followed after they left the ships. by the time crozier gets kidnapped I think he genuinely really respects him. and, you know, dutiful to the end!!!! essentially refusing to die until the captain came to relieve him of his duties!!!!

4. Thomas Jopson: after the eldest faildaughter comes the golden child!!! fascinated by this guy. he gets many moments of tenderness which the other guys (with the exception of crozier and fitzjames) don't really get as a rule, but we see in his confrontation with hickey that he's no pushover. i find the contrast between these 2 fascinating; I think they came from similar origins but their life choices led them to develop vastly different outlooks (one isn't more valid than the other btw!!!!). aside from like blanky he's apparently one of the few guys on Terror who really knows what he's doing which is also commendable. I also just find characters who occupy "servant" positions really interesting.

5. Solomon Tozer: my dog-coded boy!!!! the breaking of solomon tozer is one of the most fascinating arcs in the show for me. at first he comes off as confident, sarcastic (his interactions with hickey as they bury david young!!!), one of the lads (im not British sorry if my usage of the term is cringe). but then one by one the marines fall (bryant killed by the bear, heather with his brains poking out of his skull, alive but not alive) and finally we get the tragedy of carnivale and his desperation to save heather which of course he's unable to do. that's always what tozer wants to do, he wants to save everyone, he wants to protect. the alienation of the marines from the rest of the men is also fascinating to me. and he falls under the spell of hickey bc of this desperation to save the people he cares about and himself and they develop that weird as hell psychosexual shit that makes me crazy. love them forever.

*main character: actor in the opening credits. secondary character: not in the opening credits but gets a relatively substantial amount of screen time/lines/a story arc more generally.

[tabortrillion]

Random spiel but this came to mind from a mixture of my recent readings and current fixations.

So, I just finished reading a book called “Determined: a science of life without free will” which basically states that we are more or less entirely programmed by our biological components - DNA, neurons, hormones, etc. along with environmental and social conditions that are beyond our control.

I’ve also been really into digging deep into the characters of games like Until Dawn (mainly that one tbh but that developer’s other games are great as well). So, I got to thinking about how we are biologically programmed whereas characters in video games are technologically programmed but how much of a difference is there between the two? Obviously, if you believe in the concept of a soul that would be the difference. The computer generated being would not have one. But they can often feel so realistic and relatable! Is this because it is a human behind that technological design?

If we were to compare a game like Until Dawn to one like it but completely designed by AI, would the latter be lacking in that humanistic illusion? Probably a major part of why video game characters can seem so realistic and relatable are because there are real human actors behind them. Are AI voiced characters less likely to be realistic and relatable? But AI is ultimately designed by humans too. There are always whispers about an AI design that is spookily close to exhibiting humanity, but could the most humanistic AI design something also incredibly human-like or would it be lacking some genuine, unnameable attribute that contributes to us relating to a video game character.

Idk how much of that made sense but I just wanted to put it down in words somewhere instead of having it revolve around in my brain all day

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

Lemme know if you want me to delete this bc this definitely is heavy

Had a similar moment like this online last week, but in my case I'm almost certain he was actually jewish. it was painfully obvious he'd been raised to think that his way of observance was the only correct way to be jewish, which is genuinely so so sad. assuming that was he was saying about his own life is true, his dad is his rabbi and he basically heavily filtered the types of jews that everyone in their community has access to. to the point that he didn't believe that any experiences outside of that could be classified as jewish (he was particularly upset that I'm gay and jewish).

He kept repeating the phrase "you wouldn't fit in here" (referring to the orthodox community of NYC) which was so fucking depressing because when has judaism ever been about fitting in. He seemed like he was a high schooler so I wouldn't be surprised if some of that was regular teenage emotions but it definitely seemed to go a lot deeper. I tried to explain my perspective as someone who had grown up around basically no jews besides my family and a few people at school, yet he was so far in this echo chamber that he couldn't even conceptualize that there are other ways to be jewish beyond a) his own experience and b) the mythologically evil zionists

Although there were no holes in his personal life story, there were plenty of holes in his logic. Why does he feel that judaism is a punishment? Is he truly mad that im jewish in a different way than him, or is he just upset that other people have found a way to make religion work for them? Is he actually angry at his father for pretty much forcing a very specific viewpoint of judaism on him? Does he feel like he doesnt have control over his future and is trying to bring others down to his level?

I genuinely put this out of my brain at first because ok he's a spoiled dick who is learning that other people exist. then the longer the conversation went on the sadder I felt for him because holy shit that must be insane to feel like your entire existence is wrong and everyone else is even worse than you. anyway there's definitely a weird pattern of people, some jewish and some not, who firmly believe that the way they were taught is the only correct option and anything else is unthinkable.

IMPORTANT NOTE: be nice to orthodox people or else if the message you got from this is "orthodox jews are bad and like to control people" then idk relearn how to read

I was just hit with the memory of one of my first encounters with a goy trying to claim they were Jewish and easily being found out, and I wonder if anyone else on jumblr has ever experienced something similar. I was at a show for a band I liked, and am friends with, years ago at a small bar. While another band was playing I was chatting with the lead singer and he was asking me about Judaism. I had to explain that I was secular and hadn't practiced in years so my input on the religious aspect wouldn't be as complete, but that it didn't make me not Jewish or any less. We got into the concept of ethnoreligion, Judaism being a closed practice, how it doesn't proselytize, the secular cultural aspects, and so on.

At this point a woman behind the bar comes up to us angrily slurring her words and says what I'm talking about is insulting and blasphemous (flag one). I ask why, and she says because she is Jewish. She claims that you can't be a secular Jew, you can only be religious and that she would know because she was extremely devout (flag two).

Huh.

So I asked why she was working on shabbat because I'd seen her taking drink orders and pouring for customers.

She got confused and asked what did I mean. What is shabbat?

I laughed and told her that you're not Jewish at all if you don't know what shabbat is, and especially not an extremely "devout" Jew if you're not keeping it.

I remember her getting angry and stomping off and trying to kick us out. The manager came over and apologized and said she was a regular who liked to cause trouble but she was allowed to stay because she jumped behind the bar and helped out when needed. I asked the manager if she was Jewish at all and she got a weird look and said no. She's Baptist, her entire family is.

Later on I found her sloppy drunk on the floor and complaining that no one wanted to take her home that night.

It was one of the most egregious fake Jew moments I've ever had that was also one of the easiest to catch.

For my own safety I won't name the band because that would actually ID me as well, and for safety sake I'm trying to keep this vague but accurate. Which sucks because they're a great band and I love them, but antisemitism being what it is, I'd rather not risk it.