#idk how many times i had to rewatched
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paging-possum · 3 months ago
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I need to speak my truth society if arcane s2 act 3 spent more time focusing on jinx and vi's relationship and jinx and vi and Vander and honestly vi and Caitlyn's instead of being 50% mid action sequences and 50% giving Jayce and Mel special powers >>>>>>>
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rimouskis · 9 months ago
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sigh someone on twitter extolled the virtues of furiosa and said it was better than fury road. I just saw furiosa. they are wrong.
#the brilliant thing about MMFD was how it needed no backstory.#it required no explanation of who these people were or why they wanted what they wanted#that story gripped you by the throat and pulled you along for the ride and by god you took it#bleh. also I didn't really care for the numbered parts of the story that communicated the passage of time#I guess that's where the “saga” came in but I do think one of my favorite parts of MMFD was that...#it was a contained storyline! there were clearly so many other parts/facets of that world we didn't see#but we didn't need to see them becasue that wasnt the story that film was telling#and I feel like ... I dunno. MMFD was perfect. furiosa was not perfect. furiosa was not needed?#we already knew enough from MMFD about why furiosa had wound up as an imperator#seeing the full story I genuinely don't feel like I gained anything new about her and her character#everything we watch her become (or even begin as) in furiosa... all of it is apparent in MMFD#idk this movie felt extraneous. bummer!#good news is i was really worried about ATJ playing furiosa but she did fine. i have no complaints about her!#anyways anyone who wants to discuss come hit me up in the comments or reblogs or askbox whatever#I wish to dig into this lol#man that tweet got my hopes up. but i did not have the reaction to this that i wanted to have#when i saw MMFD in theaters it was a religious experience. that movie rewired my brain. I'd never seen a female action star like furiosa#all furiosa did was make me want to rewatch MMFR#also jesus christ I just realized I'd been typing MMFD for some reason. lol forgive me I'm on my phone sitting in the theater parking lot#pretend I typed MMFR that whole time
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funkle420 · 5 months ago
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*takes my last adderall so i can finish all my work in one day*
*finishes one (1) assignment*
*gets distracted and spends the rest of the day hyperfocusing on delicious in dungeon again*
#i rewatched half the anime last night cause i was too tired to do anything else#i even almost got sucked into reading the manga again the other day but forced myself to stop after 1 chapter#def gotta buy hard copies#this is one of if not the only thing i can enjoy multiple times IN SUCCESSION!#actually i was like this with turning red and spiderverse too but#dunmeshi is different.... dunmeshi is special..... my enjoyment of it is more than just the animation or the art.....#ive never felt this particular way about anything but i've always wanted to#in the past my fanart often felt a little forced even tho i liked those things it was hard to get excited about anything#i think dunmeshi is partially responsible for my depression being in remission#literally#the only depression i feel since spring is about financial problems or being lonely#tangible stuff#but it's not the deep internal depression ive felt for most of my life#idk how to explain but like there's layers to depression#the easier kind to heal from is based in identifiable current issues like loneliness or financial troubles or grief or burnout#then theres the kind that comes from complex trauma or i think sometimes its genetic too#i thought that part would only go away once i solved the surface level stuff and could heal thorugh positive experiences to contradict#the pathways my brains formed overtime via trauma#but although ive had a few moments that have helped#i think dunmeshi. moving out of my old apt where i lived with 3 cishet men into an apt with 1 chill roomie. having time over summer to#get used to a self made routine (despite having MANY financial issues and still not being able to spend it how i planned)#all that is mainly what helped!#like for the first time i was getting excited abt stuff!#i still kinda struggle tho with maintaining that excietment#except with dunmeshi!#it's like no matter what my excitement hasn't diminished#thats very comforting#i gotta force myself to engage in more media so i can find more things to love#i have a habit of putting off things i know ill love bc i wanna be ready for it#so that if i do love it ill have the time and energy to get inspired and make fanart
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nyctoheart · 2 years ago
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I may understand KHUX inside and out, where I have all the little inconsistencies mapped out into some elaborate plan that makes sense after all....
but I still am so confused about KHDR
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britneyshakespeare · 11 months ago
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throughout the series of drake and josh it pretty consistently implies that josh nichols is a christian (josh peck is jewish) and in the finale of the series helen (played by yvette nicole brown, not jewish[?]) is portrayed as a practicing jew
#i dont have a problem w either of those things necessarily i just find it interesting#if i had to guess. drake and josh was a mainstream that didnt wanna touch on religion generally#but josh was kind of a dork and usually when josh's religious beliefs are implied it is in dorkish ways#such as praying and thanking the lord after he has his first kiss.#but since dan schneider is jewish perhaps he wanted to make helen have a jewish wedding in the finale?#not that there needs to be a reason. but u do notice occasional jewish-related jokes in d&j but none of them are what you could call#offensive. in good faith that is. 'eric is a pacifist' 'i thought he was jewish?' like come on#text post#i have been rewatching drake and josh recently and i have had so many thoughts#im almost done. i just have left that stupid dance episode that they premiered last for the stupid reason#of a special dance-themed premiere night in fall 2007. they premiered the third episode of icarly and a new zoey 101 on the same night#which i think is so stupid. they should've aired really big shrimp last. it messed w my understanding of the series at the time lol#i remember not really knowing that the show was ENDING. like i knew icarly was starting & miranda was doing that#i thought really big shrimp was like just another special like go hollywood.#and then like two days later they premiered the helicopter episode for some reason#and i was like why is drake not famous in this. he just had a number 1 song in a superbowl commercial#and then a month later the dance one. which. if anything is satisfying about that as a final episode it's just that#that unnamed girl from the blues brothers episode who is obsessed w drake shows up again and congratulates them#and the very final line of the series is 'who is she?' because. because really who IS she?#that's a funny enough throwback to wrap things up with i suppose#drake and josh wasn't a highly serialized show so i can see how they could air those after the intended finale and act like it didn't matte#but i have to tell you it did fuck with my brain a bit at the time. lol. i still think of those episodes as having 'happened' after#and on paramount plus those episodes are still placed after really big shrimp. the injustice#but thats kinda messy. what a weird way to end such an influential and popular sitcom#season 4 had a few lowpoints while still also having some VERY solid episodes.#idk. ill have to continue my series review another time im getting way too longwinded here#helen dubois is jewish
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arolesbianism · 8 months ago
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Guys why is rain world so good (<- rewatched some scenes and teared up on all of them)
#rat rambles#rain posting#god man. holy shit. fuckkkkkk#rain world may not be one of my token big interests but god does it just hit me so fucking hard whenever I do engage with it#I also think after rewatching some stuff that my general takes on how rain world's world works have shifted a smidge#which is also giving me some more ideas for saint hcs#I feel like the biggest thing Im seeing differently now is the concept that the saint has no beginning or end#one big theme of rain world is the way that all cycles eventually come to an end#societies iterators and even the lives of the animals that wander about#theyre trapped but within these cycles they still move forward and eventually fade just like everything else#but the saint doesnt. they never can. in that way they are a paradox#for when even time itself eventually fades what becomes of the being who will never be allowed to slow in their decent?#overlapping onto themself infinitely until what is and isn't them becomes irrelevant#have they lived many times or were they ever even alive to begin with?#at the end of the day they will never know. its a peace they wont ever find#as they are simply a lil guy who is stuck in a real mind boggling situation#anyways thanks pebbles dialogue for helping me get a better grasp on saint stuff have fun being dead buddy#it also makes me feel even worse for the echos because theyre likely in similar positions#not the exact same given Im sure none of them had the powers to fly and ascend ppl but still#in my minds eye tho theyre more themselves than saint is#for better or for worse#the rest of the echos are stationary. unable to move forwards or back#while the saint continues to spiral onwards and onwards in ways that break the very core of this universe#or smth like that idk. Im just rambling abt nonsense at this point lol#but yeah I imagine the sain to be both trapped and stretched across time#most things exists whinin cycles of cycles but the saint takes that concept to the extreme#most things much more so develop and change as time moves forward but the saint kind of just is#but like. is a lot. like there's a lot of them. but that them is stretched like super thin#they overlap themself and keep stretching to infinity#and with that sort of overlap it makes sense that in what conscious state they do have they simply experience each overlap eternally
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5hrignold · 10 months ago
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nobody really mentions this when talking about the brazil ep but it’s like one of my favourite things about it The fact that it’s probably gonna be the only episode forever where the main 4 critters are together for the entire time without seperating to do their own thing its just made special to me because of how rare and special it is while being such a mundane thing that isn’t even at all spectacular outside of the shows view
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n11d44hs-t0n · 2 years ago
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VERONICA AND LOGAN FIRST KISS !!!!!
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rinhaler · 1 year ago
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I’m soooo excited to finish writing toxic!megumi btw 🤤
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aromacaque · 2 years ago
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skulltrot #1 donnie defender everyone should be so fucking scared for whenever i eventually get that video essay out for him because somehow SOMEHOW my mikey analysis was 50 minutes long and ... i can't say for sure how long one on donnie would end up being but if it ends up being longer than that somehow i will disintegrate or something i think
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phagodyke · 8 months ago
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okaaaayyy finally watched I saw the tv glow :^)
#liked it a lot on a lot of levels. visuals n soundtrack n acting was great. rly subtle n cohesive n effective#i wanna sit with it a little to digest it and maybe rewatch#but unfortunately i didnt get the same emotional resonance a lot of ppl did from it.. possibly bc i was watching w other ppl#but i dont think its that i think i just struggle to connect meaningfully w things that are like. what if the choices u didnt make#alienated u from the world and ur sense of self n what if the life u were living was a hollow bubble separate from the real world etcetc#bc like yeah man im very aware of how unreal my life n the world around me feels at times. and it isnt bc im holding myself within#tight limitations/constraints in order to hide parts of me from myself or forcing myself to be smth im not in order to engage w society#like im just mentally ill n the dissociation n derealisation are symptoms of that..#i can 100% understand why so many queer ppl feel so strongly abt it n the gender stuff implied in it#but thats just not my experience of queerness personally. its never been smth ive had to grapple with much#like yeah i havent fully figured out my gender shit. but im ok w that its not holding me back from living the life i want to be living#my sense of self is just so far divorced from my physical body and the physical world around me..... idk im too tired to articulate this#but that aside i did rly like it as a movie! and it was very heartbreaking.. just not in a way that struck me super personally#which i was rly hoping it would ahh sorry everyone 😔 but hey maybe thatll come after i think abt it some more#lots of cool effects too i liked the different ways they did the moon face thing. i liked how effective the whole distortion of memory#and nostalgia etc was done visually.. aesthetically very yummy. aw man..#i didnt even cry i was rly hoping it would make me cry...... :-(#makes me feel like im missing out on smth cuz everyone else ive seen talk abt it got hit so hard by it#just made my peace w being on the outside looking in i guess.. i shook out all my regrets and what-couldve-beens as a depressed teen#n now im just here to vibe forever..... 😌 i am toooooo tired to be typing i just keep saying the same thing over an dover probably#maybe a 7 or 8 out of 10 movie for me i think which is still pretty damn worth it#okayyy brushing my teeth and going to bed cuz i wanna go climbing tomorrow so need to rest up ‼️#sorry i dont want to rain on anyones parade genuinely did think it was a great movie im glad others are feeling it so intensely#ahhhh!!!!#.diaries
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pa-pa-plasma · 1 year ago
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just finished watching Blue Beetle & the dude who's lines were 90% "my name isn't Sanchez" is listed as "Sanchez" in the credits
#''you see she's racist because she calls him Sanchez even though that's not his name. anyways here's who played Sanchez''#oh also the dude who played him is Guillermo from What We Do In The Shadows#man idk maybe it's just cuz i watched Spiderverse again right before this#but i find superhero movies just don't do it for me anymore. not the modern ones anyway#like yeah it's fun for sure but also. it's 90% CGI & totally ignores the superpower aspect in favour of like. romance & explosions#like i wanna see him learn there's a fucking alien beetle speaking in his head rather than just ''yeah i can hear it. anyways''#i know i know we've seen origin stories a million times. but like. i LOVE origin stories. i'm sure other people do too#it's why i always rewatch the first movie in a series. i love the fucking around & finding out#also the amount of random flashing lights was kind of weird. made me realize how many climaxes just do that instead of actually like#making it visually appealing#man every time i watch a superhero movie that isn't Andrew or Toby's Spider-man or Spiderverse or RPat's Batman i get disappointed#the earlier Marvel & DC movies were alright. i think they still had the magic before Avengers went big#but like. dude. most of them just don't do it for me. there's something fundamental about heroes that they're missing#i think it's the like. actually wanting to help people just because they want to#a lot of them only help because they get the money & tech to do so#i think it worked with Tony because that's his whole character. he's an asshole billionaire who makes weapons#his (& Batman's) character development surrounds the tech & the money#but for friendly neighbourhood Spider-man for example it doesn't. that guy is poor. he defends the people#& they can't really do that when they've got a billionaire who works with the government breathing down their neck can they#idk i feel like a lot of this ''i'm just the little guy look at me i'm just a lil dude with a family who likes helping'' doesn't really wor#when the only reason they're helping at all is because a billionaire showed up & gave them a million dollars like#''i'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart <3 billionaires are people too''#sorry but billionaires need to die if you wanna actually help people. actually i take back that sorry. i'm not sorry#i did get some ideas for DIM though so i guess there's that#anyway yeah Blue Beetle is good as entertainment. i just feel like it could've been more Real ya know?#like. Spiderverse felt Real. New York & Miles's family felt so natural & seamless#''Batman's a fascist'' just didnt really do it for me
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bbrabbits · 1 year ago
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o*tnb is like. sincerely the worst show we ever watched and we hated every second of it but we finished it out of like. 'well it was so unbelievably popular it had to be good at some point, right' and like. that moment never came. but it seems to have become our 'we're having a shit time and are bored avoiding Thoughts' show cause we're watching it again and this time around we can put the issue into words.
it REALLY just comes across as one of those adult shows where it's just trying to be as edgy and raunchy as possible and it can be excused for absolutely abhorrent shit happening left and right, just normalizing the use of absolutely horrific language cause 'oh it's taking place in a prison.'
like.... icb this show is basically what kicked off netflix's catalogue when it cant go one episode w/out throwing around the r slur or numerous lesbiphobic slurs and just homophobic language in general.
i mean maybe it's realistic and maybe we're just ~sensitive~ or whatever, but. idk. it's weird that some intention behind the show is very clearly to show that prisoners are still human beings who deserve rights and respect (which is TRUE and i wish that was focused on better instead of focusing on the weird edgy shit)
but like. also we have like. two. maybe three in later seasons. characters that we dont absolutely fucking despise and also the ending of the series is so fucked up why did everyone get so gruesomely fucked over. like again tbh that is unfortunately quite realistic but it is infuriating to go through a show this edgy and it ends as bleak as possible.
though if you did like the show or do like it. we won't judge. though we are sincerely curious if anyone who does enjoy it sees this to let us know what makes them like it because genuinely we just dont get appeal when it really does just feel like edgy central
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cazshmere · 5 months ago
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Astrology Observations Pt. 8 🦂
materialist🔖
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DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂
🦂 I think people who have their chiron in the 3rd/7th or 11th house may experience significant insecurity about posting on social media and being in front of a camera, or even commenting under various posts online. They often overthink the things they put out online/the things they were going to post online 😭 and also if they post pictures/videos they might rewatch the picture/video 984726261 times and often find a SOME tiny fault and convince themselves to delete whatever it is that they have posted. This placement can create a deep-seated fear of judgment and a tendency to second-guess every public interaction
🦂I have noticed that scorpio moons and capricorn moons have very involved and critical mothers/parents, exhibiting behaviors typical of helicopter parenting. For instance they could micromanage every single thing you do or have some sort of comment to make about every little thing you do (also applicable to aries and virgo moons). I also feel that cappy and scorpio moons may find it the hardest to detach from their generational trauma because their parents may have instilled strict principles/beliefs into them and they end up carrying forward all these beliefs which in return makes them more susceptible to repeating toxic patterns which then ends up causing A LOT of trauma to these individuals ❤️‍🩹
🦂 honestly taurus placements aren’t always mindful and demure, despite being ruled by venus. Most taurus placements (esp sun,moon and mars) are NOT afraid to call people out on their bs and are extremely straightforward and direct. The type to insult you straight to your face if you annoy them or smtg 😭 and you’d be like ouch, what was the reason for that??💀. They can come across as arrogant and rude sometimes BUT this all makes a lot of sense as a lot of them tend to be sidereal aries placements after all🙏😂
🦂 speaking of sidereal placements I wanna talk about how virgos can be super playful and child-like (esp with the people they are comfortable with) because they’re leo placements in sidereal + virgo placements also really crave attention, sometimes way more than Leo’s tbh✨
🦂 aries and scorp moon/venus women often attract guys who initially start off as wanting to be/being their “friends” BUT the only reason they wanted to be their friend in the first place is because they see potential for a romantic/sexual relationship with them. It’s sad because literally every guy friend you have/had TOTALLY had other intentions that weren’t platonic 🥲
🦂 having placements in the 2nd house (esp if there are no harsh aspects) just mellows down the intensity of the placement. For instance moon in the 2nd house people can regulate their emotions much more stable and easy manner. Having placements in the 2nd house is such a BLESSING.
🦂 if you think you know someone with a scorpio moon, moon in the 8th house or moon-pluto native, trust me you DON’T😭. no one will ever KNOW every single part of them. They remind me of onions yk? SO MANY LAYERS to them and no one will ever truly know everything about them
🦂 also idk if I’ve mentioned this before but CAN WE JUST TAKE A MINUTE TO APPRECIATE HOW FUCKING FUNNY/HUMOROUS CANCER PLACEMENTS ARE???? literally SO SO witty and make you laugh till your stomach hurts😭🫶🏻
🦂 with age, saturn in cancer natives can look a lot like their mothers 💗
🦂 shadow traits are often expressed through the moon and mars, as these planets govern our raw emotions and drives. For example, an aries moon’s may react with impulsive outbursts and frustration, while a scorpio mars might exhibit controlling, obsessive, or manipulative behaviors to maintain power. These primal reactions tend to surface under stress or vulnerability. To work on your shadow self, it's helpful to focus on your Moon and Mars placements, as these often reveal where you're repeating or expressing toxic behaviors. By understanding how these signs influence your emotional reactions and drive, you can better recognize and address patterns that need healing.
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banner/pic credits to the rightful owners
© cazshmere 2024 [All Rights Reserved]
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gimme-tea-bitch · 5 months ago
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I just finished rewatching RWBY
And honestly i'm glad I did cuz it's been a long time and this show is frankly way better than I remembered. It starts out very fun and honestly funny and charming. But it always has a bit of that underlying hint at there being more at play. And then it takes its time to switch from rapid fire and more humorous, to weaving in more serious themes and ideas. Just like the characters uncover more and more of the truth.
And the way that it takes its time with every character. RWBY has never had a reason to think they'd get even 1 more season, but seeing how literally from the start they set up Ruby's breakdown in V9 with Oz telling her she needs to put her team above herself. The way the Mt. Glenn conversations come back with the Herbalist. The way the show consistently shows that those that came before failed because they gave into their fears and they closed themselves off. And showing how these kids push back against fear so much. And they fuck up and they fail and things keep going worse and worse and at the end of the day the thing that really matters is that they tried their best.
Idk, i'm having that empty void feeling after finishing a good story, and i'm very hopeful for the future of RWBY, but this show is honestly really good and doesn't get enough credit for the way it weaves in its themes so well. And how well CRWBY deals with so many real and difficult emotions with genuine care. That even when shit gets so dark in V7 and V8 there's still that gritted hope.
Anyway, my brain is too full of too many emotions, but RWBY is so good and underrated, and i'm really glad that CRWBY has poured so much love into this story.
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munsster · 7 days ago
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hey girl!! so i was rewatching season 3 and saw the part where max and eleven are playing the spin the bottle and spying on people and had an idea! what if the reader is babysitting them and the girls drag her in to play and they spin in on steve, so she’s like “alright that’s enough” bc she doesn’t want to invade on her friends privacy but she sits through it anyway, and she hears him talking to robin about how much he likes her and wants to ask her out. IDK i thought that was cute :))
don’t hate the game
A/N: UR SO RIGHT THIS IS SO CUTE. I’m so glad i FINALLYYY found motivation to tackle it <3 (gif creds: @buckysbarnes)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
Summary: The girls convince you to play an embarrassing party game from your past. It’s nothing like you remember. 2.4k words
Warnings: pet names (sweetheart, honey), ‘like’, overthinking, implied bullying, stupid pining, insecurity
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It's a Friday night in the middle of summer, and you're wondering how you got here. Well, actually you're in your living room, so it's not that great of a mystery, but more confusing than that, you're letting two adolescent girls teach you how to play spin the bottle. If someone had told you at graduation that this is where you'd end up, you'd laugh right in their face.
Who's laughing now.
"But!" Max says, "if you hadn't noticed, none of these people are in the room, so how would we kiss them?"
You fight the urge to sink into your seat, blithely nodding and avoiding anything that might alienate you from your younger counterparts. You're almost sorry you surrendered your night to babysit two capable teens, but you promised El's dad who promised to pay you handsomely. Plus, they seem to like you enough to find you cool. Enough to tell you teenage secrets and complain about their boyfriends.
As they're explaining the rules, a memory creeps in of the first time you ever played this godforsaken party game. On Steve Harrington's floor in eighth grade. The cheers dying off as the mouth of the bottle slowed to a stop in your direction. No one expected him to actually lean over and kiss you. Or that you'd stay good friends despite his high school career soaring into stardom while yours sort of... didn't.
"We don't kiss them!" El chirps with an excited glint in her eye. The girls lean in like it's the first time they're hearing the rules but you're almost certain they made them up.
"Right. Instead, El here becomes our spy. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but she can see into their conversations or something. It's wicked." Max looks to El with something like admiration.
Intrigued, you glance down at the post-it notes arranged in a circle, scribbled with assorted names from yearbooks and yellow pages. A few you recognize: Mike and Lucas, one of the Hawkins Middle math teachers, even Will’s mom wasn’t safe from their antics.
But among the many names, you're most drawn to Steve. The way the letters loop and curl into his name, you go a little dizzy imagining that you really were playing the game. That he was seated across from you now. That he might lean over like he did the first time while your mind raced with a thousand possibilities. It's a prank or a dare or his wholehearted commitment to the game, anything other than his own free will.
You blink out of your silly, nostalgia-fueled trance when Max presses the cold glass bottle to your palm.
"You first."
They giggle and fall into each other when you half-twist the bottle. You're still in disbelief that you agreed to this as you watch the bottle spin, ticking off names as it loses momentum.
"Who is that?" you ask, leaning closer as if you'd read the yellow post-it wrong.
"Oh," El says. She cringes away from the board and crosses her arms over her chest in defiance.
"That bitch from P.E.," Max grumbles, and you have half a mind to scold her if you hand’t found universal bitch-aversion endlessly amusing. "You can spin again, she's not worth the trouble anyway."
You imagine your dream game once again. The bottle flies in the other direction at your fingertips, haywire and picking up a new gravity. It draws a wild, fiery line beneath your stare as you consider the possibility of Steve. It slows and slows until it's spinning almost at the same pace as Earth from a distance. Listening to the roaring sound of the universe as the bottle turns. Turns and turns and turns. Your eyes light up.
The girls giggle.
"No," you say sternly, regretting all your daydreams and fantasies in the face of cold, hard reality. "No, not Steve."
"Please!" they whine.
"Ladies, that's enough. He's a good friend, we're not spying on him."
They act like kicked puppies, though you know they're tricking you as they pout and bat their eyes. You know they know more than they should. About you. You and your feelings towards Steve Harrington. Something they discovered through a quiz in some teeny bopper magazine or other. Those magazines that somehow hold the secrets of the universe and the answers to every haircare question.
“Come on, I’ll make us popcorn and we can start a movie. A horror, if you really want.”
They seem satisfied enough, springing to the couch and settling into the cushions there.
The stove heats slowly. You fish through your cabinet for the last pan of Jiffy Pop, peeling back the thin cardboard cover when you hear snickering from the other room.
“What’s he saying?” Max whispers. You strain to hear her with your back pressed to the wall, just out of sight.
You shouldn’t be eavesdropping. You know better. You’re not a prepubescent girl anymore, you’re the babysitter with responsibilities. Like a job. Yet, you can’t seem to pull yourself away from the doorway. Every time you hear his name, your heart soars with what-ifs. You feel your eyes slip closed as El speaks.
“Steve is speaking to someone. I see her”—Your heart sinks—“Robin!”
You selfishly let out a breath. You’re mostly thankful he’s not spending his evening alone, but you also knew his friendship with Robin was strictly platonic. Robin had sworn by it without you even having to raise the question. You didn’t have to, she said, she could see it in your face. You wondered if Steve found you that transparent.
“He’s talking about… A girl. Her eyes. A smile. And he’s smiling, too. Oh, wait, now he’s frowning because Robin flicked him,” she says with a playful lilt.
She gasps.
“What?” Max yelps, shifting closer on the squeaky couch.
“Steve wants to confess his feelings. Big feelings, he says. Like-like.”
You not sure if that’s El’s paraphrase of Steve’s so-called big feelings or if the term like-like came from his own mouth. Neither option would surprise you. What does surprise you is that you’d never heard any of this from Steve before. You liked to think you were friends, even one of his best friends. He was surely one of yours. You told each other almost everything because you can’t exactly discuss complex relationships and sex with middle schoolers.
But you’d never heard of Steve’s seemingly new, mystery like-liker lover.
“He’s thinking of asking her out. Robin told him he might as well, it’s obvious that the girl he’s talking about likes him back. He doesn’t agree,” El says, her brows furrowed beneath the thick black blindfold, “Robin’s shouting. Steve looks sad.”
“What’s she saying?” Max whispers.
“Shh! ‘You like her so much, you might as well tell her and let her react. But I’ll say this, she’s going to say yes. That girl has been in love with you since the eighth grade’. He’s thinking.”
“Think faster, hair-brain!”
El giggles, her face suddenly falling serious. “‘Really?��” You stifle a laugh at the deeper voice she affects.
“‘She’s never said anything to me about it’. Robin looks angry. ‘Obviously, dingus! Do you go around telling people you’re in love with them?’”
“She has a point,” Max says. “Who’s he talking about?”
“I don’t know—Oh! Here we go,” El huffs, fists clenched eagerly, “He’s making a plan to ask her out, he’s going to call her. He’s getting up—”
Just then, the popcorn bursts from its aluminum confines with a bang. You let out a strangled noise between a yelp and a grumble, annoyed at the rude and very loud interruption. As you set the burner knob in place, you consider the fact that Steve has very real feelings for someone else. Someone who’s just not you. And as you shake the popcorn into a ceramic bowl, the landline rings.
“Will someone get that?” you call, grabbing a few small packages of sweets stashed in the cabinet. You hear the girls spring from the couch, and you shuffle into the living room to a giddy scene huddled around the receiver.
“Yes, she’s here!” El squeals. There’s a muffled response from the other line, and they share a conspiratorial glance.
“It’s for you,” Max says, handing you the phone with a smirk.
“Thank you. Go pick a movie while the popcorn’s hot.” You clear your throat, preparing yourself for the worst. Maybe your boss firing you or a repo man taking your TV. “Hello?”
“Hi, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to interrupt girl’s night, I can call back later,” Steve’s gentle voice filters clear through the speaker. In the silence, static hums, and you press the phone closer to your ear.
Trying to listen for what he might be thinking. He sounds like rain. Like Sunday and a lack of pressure. He sounds inviting and warm like that big green sweater he’s always wearing. If only you knew he wears it because you adore it. You tell him every time; why would he ever stop.
“No!” you chirp, “no, perfect timing actually, we were just about to start a movie.”
“Oh! That sounds fun,” he says. You fidget with the springy cord, facing away from the living room and from the attention of the two flittering girls.
“Yeah,” you say, hoping he doesn’t recognize the disappointment coloring your tone. “So, how’d it go?”
He chokes a little. “How’d… what? Go?” There’s a soft snicker from the other line at his incidental voice crack.
“Your… I mean, did you have something you wanted to tell me?”
The line dips, but you hadn’t heard the telltale plastic clatter of a hang up. Just soft shuffling and a curse from under his breath. You curdle at the near silence.
“What did Robin tell you?” he grumbles.
“What? Nothing. Was she supposed to?”
“Well, no! I just called to tell you—”
He goes silent, and this time you’re actually convinced he hung up. There’s no sound at all, and you double check your receiver to make sure the problem’s not on your end.
“Stevie?”
“Yep, sorry. Just… feel silly.”
“Okay, you’re starting to scare me a little,” you hum, clutching onto the handheld.
“No! Sorry, not trying to scare you, honey, I just need to get something off my chest. But it’s not scary. Or, well, I guess it could be taken that way, and that would be okay. A little sad, but yeah, no hard feelings—”
At this point, you’re sure he’s talking about his prospective date. He knows you have a stupid, obvious crush on him, and he’s trying to soften the blow of new romantic conquest. Of course, introducing his new girlfriend to you would be terrifying, but you’d always put on a brave face for Steve. He knows that. He’d do the same for you.
“Steve?”
“Yeah.”
“Just get it over with,” you sigh, leaning your head against the wall and bracing for heartache.
“Right. Not trying to waste your time. Here goes.”
I’ve got a new, smoking hot girlfriend who just agreed to go on a date with me. And she’s got beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile, and I’ve been in love with her since I can remember, and we’re gonna run away together forever and get married and have perfect babies.
“I like you,” he huffs.
“Well, duh, I like you, too, you’re only my closest friend,” you say. You’re tense, waiting for the other shoe to come hurling through the skylight. “Now, tell me.”
“No, sweetheart, I like-like you. Have since I was nine. Miss Boyd’s class, if I’m not mistaken.” There’s a soft thud like his forehead colliding with the wall beside his phone.
You inhale a shaky breath. He’s kidding, and it’s a prank. Your heart races, and you want to curse him out for picking on you. He should know better. Right?
“Steve,” you warble, “please tell me you’re joking.”
There’s more shuffling, muffled voices, and you think you’ve just exposed one long drawn out joke. You’re about to hang up with what’s left of your dignity when he says:
“Are you rejecting me?”
He sounds almost mad. Hair ruffled, skin on edge. How you imagine his father might sound just before one of his awful fits. But there’s something much softer to Steve, more understanding. Hurt like a child.
Still, you can’t help your suspicion.
“Quit it. I know it’s a joke, don’t drag it out.”
“Hey, wait a second,” he urges, “It’s not a joke. I like you. A lot.” He says it so softly, your heart just might believe him. As if all the stars have aligned, and he’s actually confessing his feelings for you. You didn’t think the stars did that. Not really, anyway.
There’s a new tune to his voice you’d almost name teasing, “c’mon, don’t leave me hangin’.”
And just like that, he’s back in school again, fawning over you from a distance, finding any excuse to tag you during recess only to avoid you in class so you wouldn’t see him blush. He’s back to whispered secrets through the phone at midnight so his parents wouldn’t catch him. He only ever told you what wouldn’t give him away. He’s back to not letting you pay for your ice cream and shrugging it off with a smile. He’s back, and he might just be yours.
“I—Sorry, you like me? Like like-like, like enough to ask me on a real date?” you huff. He chuckles.
“Well, that last part kinda depends on whether or not you like me back. But yes, I like-like like like-like you.”
You spin to face the living room only to be confronted by an empty popcorn bowl and two fidgety, blushing, wide-eyed teens. They urge you for answers, gesturing wildly and wiggling towards you across the floor.
“Of course, I like you. I thought you knew.”
“Everyone keeps saying that. I guess I was too distracted,” he admits.
“I guess we both were,” you say, unable to keep a grin from your face, succumbing to joy as your fingers dance along the telephone cord.
“So, how about that date?” It escapes him barely above a whisper. He can’t believe he’s actually saying it after all this time. The only thing that convinces him it even came out is your soft laughter.
“Sounds wonderful!”
“Good!” he coos.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Great, yeah. That’s… I can’t wait.” He’s earnest until his cheeks hurt, and Robin teases him for it.
“Tomorrow, it is,” you purr, nearly in tune with the low hum of the receiver, “I’ll call you later.”
“Bye, sweetheart. Don’t forget: I like-like you.”
You smile, slotting the phone back into its place. A chorus of giggles erupts at your feet. Spin the bottle had been a good idea, after all.
stranger things masterlist
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