#idk how many posts i'll make of them but <3 i do love each of the siblings

[simelune]

[writingquestionsanswered]

IDK how many people are running the account, but if you or a member of the team running the account has ADHD, do you have any tips for ADHD writers, particularly when trying to get WIPs done? Outlines don't work for me like 99% of the time ;_;

Tips for Writing with ADHD

Here's what works for me, but your mileage may vary...

1 - Know What Outline Works for You - You say outlines don't work for you 90% of the time, but what type of outline are you using? Many people hear the word "outline" and imagine an academic outline with roman numerals and bullet points, but that's not what most fiction writers mean when they talk about using an outline. For fiction writers, outlines can be anything from a beginning to end written summary, to a scene list, to a detailed timeline. My post How to Outline a Plot has some different things you can try. Ultimately, there's no right or wrong way to outline your story. Anything that works as a "road map" to guide you through your story can help.

2 - Pants When You've Got to Pants - Some writers are "pantsers" or in other words, they prefer not to go off an outline. Some don't even plan in advance. They "write by the seat of their pants" and let the story take them where it may. For some writers, it depends on the specific story they're working on. Some stories might require planning, others might work better if you pants them. What works for me is understanding my needs (what type of story I'll usually need to plan/outline ahead of time, and what type of story I can pants) and then planning/pantsing accordingly. If I spent time outlining a story that I could easily pants, it would definitely take the wind out of my writing sails.

3 - Schedule Your Writing Time... Sort Of... - For me, I can't just rely on myself to write when the mood strikes me. If I did that, I'd never get any writing done. So for me, it's important to have a dedicated writing time each day. That doesn't even have to mean my butt's in the chair writing from this time to this time, it just means I'll do my best to write during whatever span of time. So, let's say this week you're home every day from 2pm until 6pm and some of that time is free time. That's going to be a good time to write, so you could say you're going to sit down every day at 3pm to write. Or, you could do 10-minute writing springs every hour, or every other hour. Or you could say you'll write when the mood strikes you, but definitely from 5:30 to 6 if you didn't get it done earlier.

4 - Try Random Writing Sprints - Writing sprints in general can be a good way for people with ADHD to write. You can schedule them or you could do them when the mood strikes. Get a timer and set it to whatever works for you... 5-minutes, 10-minutes, 30-minutes, whatever. Then just set it and go when you have time. Even if you don't feel like writing, getting into that habit will make it easier to write as soon as the timer comes out.

5 - Don't Give Yourself a Hard Time - One of the most profound things I ever heard about writing resistance is that it's often the product of writing feeling stressful. In other words, the idea of writing causes you stress, so your brain says, "Avoid! Avoid!" and you sit down to write and nothing happens. One of the ways we make writing stressful for ourselves is by giving ourselves a hard time when we don't write or don't write as much as we wanted. So, just do the best you can and congratulate yourself on small victories. Find ways to make writing fun and relaxing rather than stressful and like a chore.

Bonus - Sometimes the problem isn't ADHD but something else. My post 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes! has some other things to consider.

I hope that helps!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[rabbitsrants]

PROOF THAT SHINRAN IS ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN ROMANCES OF ALL TIME - PART 3

if you haven't already read the posts i've linked down below, please make sure to do so before you proceed, cause they're important for context. thank you so much in advance!

CLICK HERE FOR PART 1

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

as i've already explained in my disclaimer, my ultimate goal with this masterlist is to prove how well written shinran is - it's to demonstrate that they're unquestionably each other's half and the heart of the dcmk universe.

people often minimize the importance that shinichi and ran have in each other's lives by labeling them as boring, predictable "childhood sweethearts" which couldn't be further from the truth.

so far we've established that

1) shinichi doesn't fall for ran gradually, which is what usually happens with dcmk childhood friends, he knows right away that ran's something special.

2) even though they share the same core values, their personalities are very different, which has a positive effect on them individually: ran gets shinichi to come out of his shell and contributes to his emotional growth, while shinichi grounds ran and helps her articulate her feelings.

now it's time to analyze the part i teased in part two already:

they share a soul

god, where do i even begin? this post is probably going to be ridiculously long but it's by far the most crucial part of my analysis, so please bear with me. cause as far as i'm concerned? this is the main reason why shinichi and ran belong together.

don't get me wrong, love at first sight is a beautiful concept and i deeply appreciate the fact that shinichi and ran complement each other, however, they aren't the only dcmk duo that brings out the best in each other.

what sets them apart from other dcmk dynamics in the most meaningful way is the undeniable fact that their hearts are one and the same. but what is that even supposed to mean? let's break it down, shall we?

their intuition

this segment of the break-down deserves its own post, because there are countless instances of shinichi and ran showcasing incredible instincts, but i'll try to keep it concise for now. both shin and ran arguably have a sixth sense. that's already fascinating on its own, but what i'm really trying to home in on is that their intuition offers them great insight into other people's souls. sometimes i get the impression they carry a compass that points at people and tells them who's trustworthy and who's not.

chapter 22

chapter 892

ran has so many reasons to doubt takeshi and shinichi has so many reasons to doubt amuro, but they instinctively know they can trust them. shinichi even feels safe enough to confront amuro, which is incredible, cause my boy takes a huge risk by directly questioning his allegiance.

idk about y'all but i think that's beautiful. it reminds me of an amazing quote from a famous philosopher:

their souls are pure. which is why they're able to recognize that quality in other people and each other.

their optimism

despite all the darkness that shinichi and ran face every single day, they have a really optimistic outlook on life. ngl, their unwavering positivity makes me extremely emotional.

chapter 252

shinichi gets shot by criminals and he's slowly bleeding to death. the detective boys feel like it's their fault that shin got hurt, they blame themselves and feel hopeless. my boy is in pain, he's fighting for his life, he's probably even scared, it'd be more than understandable if he saw their point and regretted the unfortunate situation they found themselves in. but he doesn't:

he chooses to look on the bright side. even in death.

which, fortunately, gets the detective boys out of their dark way of thinking. shin helps them understand that, yes, they're on a bumpy road, but at least it's leading somewhere.

chapter 780

shinichi gets a culprit to reveal he's from the kansai region by successfully provoking him with a fake accent, but shin doesn't just piss off the culprit, he also pisses off kazuha and heiji, so kazuha begins to wonder whether people from the kansai region are narrow-minded and ran's perspective is something i did NOT see coming:

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE THIS ADORABLE AND WISE?!

just like shinichi ran's able to offer kazuha a surprisingly positive outlook on her concerns, which genuinely makes her feel better.

there are many instances of their unshakable optimism and the effect it has on others, it's really beautiful to examine.

i recommend y'all look into it on your own, cause in this part of my masterlist i merely have the space to touch on shared traits like their great intuition and firm optimism, but now it's time to get into the biggest and most important portion of this analysis!

their idealism

i hope y'all read the disclaimer i've linked at the beginning! if you haven't, i urge you to read it before you continue with this post!

shinrans shared idealism is something i've already mentioned in part two of my masterlist, but there's so much more to say about it:

i'd argue that it's the main thing that connects them. not to shade my own children, but they value justice and human life so much, for most people, including me, it sometimes borders on stupidity.

but that's the thing, shinichi kudo and ran mouri aren't most people.

cause most dcmk characters 1) don't initially share their virtues and 2) question their admittedly heroic but also terribly reckless actions, whereas shinichi and ran support and admire each other because of it. because they're the same.

i'm about to give a few examples of shinichi and ran being the most idealistic characters in the manga and for the purpose of full context, i have to showcase the contrast between shinran's morals and the values of other characters. i appreciate and care about every single character who's brought up in the next part of my essay, so don't take this post as an invitation for hostility towards them, that's not my goal, okay? okay. let's proceed.

a) sense of justice and heroism

chapter 239-240

shinichi impulsively investigates the black organization. haibara repeatedly reminds him that he's being reckless and putting himself in danger, she even mocks his strong sense of justice and initially refuses to join his investigation because she's smart and values self preservation. haibara ends up joining him after all, but keeps urging him to drop his investigation and leave with her.

i don't blame her one bit for her approach to the situation... truth be told, her reaction makes a lot more sense to me than shinichi's 😂 but that's because i share her pragmatism.

at this point in the manga shinichi and haibara have zero support. neither the fbi, nor the cia is helping them. it's incredibly dangerous for them to go after the black organization completely alone and it's not just unsafe for them individually either, it's risky for everyone they care about. their exposure would endanger a lot of people, including agasa, ran, kogoro, the detective boys, etc...

and safety concerns aside, why would she care about justice in that situation anyway? how could she, a teen who's trapped in a child's body, possibly hold the black organization accountable without any help?

so yeah, i strongly believe that if you look at the situation logically, haibara's point of view makes a lot more sense than shinichi's and it's fair of her to choose safety over justice, especially when the latter seems so impossible achieve.

too bad that shinichi doesn't give a flying fuck about things like common sense or self preservation. he's completely driven by idealism, it's what defines him as a person, in more ways than one. the only person in the dcmk universe who accurately mirrors his righteousness is ran mouri and it expresses itself through countless parallels that completely contrast haibara's position in chapter 239-240

chapter 44

shinichi pretty much lashes out at the murderer for personal reasons which i dive into here. on top of that, he's passionately opposed to the culprit's idea of using justice as a reason for murder and guess what? ran unsurprisingly feels the same way:

chapter 313

the obvious observation here is that their speeches are remarkably alike, but what i find even more fascinating is the fact that the killers react so similarly. shinran's sense of justice is so powerful, it doesn't just guide their own actions, it even moves morally corrupt people and holds them accountable.

furthermore, the concept of personal safety is completely lost on both shinichi and ran lol.

they constantly risk their lives for other people, including haibara, who, as we already established, initially disregards heroism.

chapter 289

chapter 434

AHHHHH!!! THE PARALLELS ARE KILLING ME

anyway, i'm not trying to undermine the beauty and complexity of haibara's character, she's incredibly well written and i think it's important to emphasize that she's actually attempting to sacrifice herself in both of these chapters.

i actually really appreciate the fact that haibara is this complicated person with a rough background who slowly figures out her values with the help of her friends, imo it gives her layers.

i'm simply pointing out that upon her initial introduction her virtues instinctively differ from shinran's, it takes her some time to grow into the same kind of heroism that shinichi and ran display from the get-go. because they inspire her. but i'll go over that in a minute.

b) they value human life

one of shinichi's main attributes has always been his profound interest in human life. it's a quality that i never questioned until recently because i always figured it was due to his work as a detective.

but the more i think about it, the less it works as an explanation because we know a lot of detectives in the dcmk universe who don't share his interest in protecting people at all costs.

interestingly enough, there is a character who shares his passion but it's not someone who professionally deals with human life - it's just a compassionate, tenderhearted girl who instinctively wants to keep others safe no matter what.

chapter 1026

ran saves a murderer from suicide

which reminds me of shinichi attempting to do the same in another chapter:

chapter 67

he tries so hard... but unlike ran he ultimately fails.

and who's there to comfort him? who's the only person in the whole world who naturally understands his sorrow, who truly knows how valuable human life is and wants to protect it just as much as he does? ran. of course it's ran.

and it will always be ran.

having said that, analyzing shinran's idealism is beyond fascinating to me because i rarely share their virtues or courage. my values are more aligned with the rest of the dcmk universe:

chapter 153

shinichi notices that a culprit is about to kill herself and gets in the way of her plans. heiji's response resonates with me a lot.

CAUSE YEAH, what's the point of keeping someone alive against their will? isn't that infinitely crueler than just letting them die? maybe.

but shinichi and ran don't give a fuck lol. they don't stop the murderers suicide attempts because they're heartless though. it's the opposite, really.

as we already established, both shinichi and ran are optimists at heart, so they believe or least hope that people can always better themselves. i think that's the main reason why the interfere.

besides, shinichi and ran simply care too much about justice - they need culprits to be held accountable and they respect human life too much to allow suicide.

again, do i share their passionate interest in human life? LOL, hell no. i think very few people are capable of being that idealistic. most people, including me, value innocent life but shinichi and ran? they value life regardless of innocence and on top of that, they even value the lives of people who ARE ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL THEM

chapter 773

a man is threatening to bomb the detective agency, he could kill ran, kogoro and sera within SECONDS and what does my girl ran do? yeah, she saves his life, LOL!

she's already in immense danger and she's seconds away from being saved, but she goes out of her way and puts herself even more at risk, just to save a guy who's threatening her life. WHY?!

because that's just who she is.

understandably, sera is baffled. she doesn't get it.

which makes sense, cause, again, there's only one character in the entire manga who truly understands ran and passionately agrees with her principles and that's shinichi kudo:

their idealism never wavers. it's perplexing for characters like haibra, heiji, sera and even for me as a reader. it's also extremely inspiring though. which brings me to my next point!

c) they inspire others

chapter 239

remember how haibara initially refuses to join shinichi during his investigation? guess what changes her mind...

even though haibara mocks shinichi's idealism and admittedly doesn't understand it in the beginning, it does get her thinking.

she grows up under terrible circumstances which force her to prioritize her safety over human life, but after watching shinichi for a while, she comes to the realization that she no longer has to live that way.

his unshakable idealism fascinates and encourages her, she's reminded that she has choices now and suddenly she finds herself wanting to do better.

but shinichi isn't the only person who helps her evolve in a pretty significant way:

chapter 313

ran's speech about justice and courage deeply moves haibara in the same way it affects the culprit.

her speech doesn't just give haibra the courage to finally introduce herself to ran after months of avoiding her (for reasons i'll get into in part four of my masterlist) i'd argue it also contributes to her finally facing the black organization in chapter 434

while shinichi helps haibara understand that she has choices now and urges her not to run from her fate, ran motivates haibara to be courageous and face her fate. it's actually incredible how much they help haibara, just by being themselves.

chapter 398-400

check out the blog of my wonderful friend aracaeli who recently brought attention to an extremely underrated chapter which emphasizes that ran doesn't just affect characters like haibara, she even inspires her other half shinichi, which is a remarkable accomplishment, considering their morals are generally completely aligned.

ran's idealism knows no bounds. how could it not move people? especially someone like haibara who's just starting to get familiar with the concept of friendship.

in this chapter ran's idealism inspires countless people (shinichi, haibara, the detective boys, the murderer) it says so much about her character and it's such a touching reading experience.

chapter 153

remember how heiji understandably regrets saving the murderer from suicide after seeing her devastating reaction? shinichi knows exactly what to say:

AGAIN, personally, i don't even blame heiji for his initial views. frankly, i agree with them! but it's really hard not to be affected by shinichi's powerful words. i can see how they could completely change the mindset of a passionate detective like heiji. and they do.

chapter 188

to the point that heiji's willing to risk his life because of them...

chapter 774

even sera, who can be a bit morally corrupt at times, is impressed with ran's strong virtues:

but that's to be expected, considering that shinichi and ran even had an impact on vermouth who's an established, ruthless serial killer.

i know, i already extensively talked about the new york case in part two, but it's such an important chapter for shinran that i feel the need to bring it up again, especially if it's going to continue the wonderful discourse i've been having about it with amazing bloggers like sakublogs who i urge you to check out!

chapter 353

this case is so, so special to me because it fundamentally captures the essence of shinran.

vermouth is about to take ran's life but the railing she is leaning on breaks and she's about fall to her impending doom... until ran intuitively grabs her arm and tries to save her:

you'd think that shinichi would urge ran to let go, cause that's what any rational person would do, right? but he doesn't. instead he assists ran. again, WHY?

because... they can't fucking help themselves. because THAT'S JUST WHO THEY ARE.

shinichi and ran are completely led by their intuition, optimism and idealism. nobody values justice, courage and human life the way do, it's in their bones and hearts, it's not something they grow into, it's in their nature.

their spiritual connection is their most defining quality as a couple and it's the reason why i'm convinced that shinran is gosho's best written ship and beyond that, one of the most brilliantly written romances of all time.

it's difficult to do shinran justice in condensed essays like this, but i hope i was able to illustrate their amazing personalities and offer some insight into their captivating bond.

it's why i've been closely following their story since my early childhood. they have the same effect on me they have on other dcmk characters. shinichi and ran inspire me, they touch my soul and restore my faith in people. they're not just a cute couple - they're a symbol of hope.

vermouth puts it best:

visit the shinran library for more

[hanakou-often]

I just happened to stumble upon your blog.. and I never really thought about HanaKou before, but these posts are very compelling. I love seeing other people’s ships in things and would love to be convinced into them.. heh. I’ve sort of fallen out of tbhk recently because the most recent arc hasn’t been compelling to me PARTLY BECAYSE KOU AND NENE AND HANAKO DONT KNOW EACH OTHWR?!?!? Which is really depressing, because I like them a lot. Ermm idk where I’m going with this I just was scrolling through the blog like “heh.. they’re cute I want to know more..” and now here I am. Please excuse my nonsense blabber idek if this makes sense 😔

Oh boy. Despite Hanakou being my hyperfixation for around 3 years, I still don't feel equipped to salesman my way into convincing someone 😭 most of my love for them has just come from PURE brainrot so I'll try my best to actually formulate more logical reasons why I like this sinking ship as much as I do. Long ass spoiler-filled rant incoming!!

1. Narrative Foils

A narrative foil is a character that contrasts another character, often the protagonist, to highlight certain aspects of their characters. Think Kabru and Laios from Dungeon Meshi, Sayaka and Kyoko from Madoka Magica, Draco and Harry from Harry Potter, etc.

To begin, Kou is a 'weak,' naive exorcist who always fights for justice and to protect the people he loves out of his own volition. Since he is the underdog of his family clan, the mediocre middle child next to his eldest exorcist extraordinaire brother, Kou is willing to do anything to prove his worth. This is primarily exhibited by his first meeting with Hanako as he recklessly plunges into a battle with the most powerful ghost in Kagome despite his inexperience with his weapon. When he's confronted about such, Kou states, "I don't care what happens to me as long as I can protect everyone!" and if that doesn't sum up his ideology, I don't know what does. He is shown to be the type of person to put everyone's safety, happiness and livelihood above his own, ultimately leading his selflessness to be his own detriment.

Contrarily, Hanako is a strong, knowledgable apparition who is given the role to protect students of Kamome, regardless of his detachment from the student body, as a way of atonement. As the long standing executive leader of the seven mysteries, Hanako has grown largely apathetic towards everyone, easily taking the cold, calculated and unconventional routes to reach the outcome he deems best no matter who it would hurt in the process. This is exemplified many times in the manga but to pick a lighter one: The time Hanako confessed to Nene under the kodama tree without telling her before hand that it wasn't real, leading him to hurt her feelings. It's clear that Hanako is the type of person to value his own goals and interests above everyone else's input, making him the more selfish antithesis to Kou's "selflessness."

Their differences in philosophy are really striking at times. Kou is endlessly optimistic while Hanako is more pessimistic, seeing the grimmer aspects of reality that Kou usually neglects. For example, Nene's lifespan has been a divisive topic between them for a while. Hanako had known about it from the start, originally intending to keep the poor girl in ignorant bliss for how much time she had left. At the point of the reveal in the clock keeper arc, he had no plans on trying to change her fate, solemnly stating that "there are things in this world that must not be changed...It's better for Yashiro this way." This is a direct contrast to Kou's more 'human' perspective as he immediately protests Hanako's claim of "There is nothing you can do," passionately asserting that he won't give up, he'll do whatever it takes save her and that is final. In the face of a dark reality, Kou completely rejects it, choosing to believe there's hope, like the naive son of a gun Hanako knows he is. From personal experience, Hanako knows it's stupid, it's idiotic, it's downright suicidal to go up against fate but somehow he ends up hoping Kou is right, trailing "I'm counting on you" as they settle back into a world that will never be the same after this revelation between them. (Something something Their differences are key to propelling the plot forward since Kou is the one to inspire Hanako not to just let Nene's life go by!!)

All of this is not to say they don't have anything in common. In fact, they are united by their desire to save the people they care about, grounded in their ruthless determination to see out their goals and are self sacrificing to an extent. I would love to go deeper on this topic but I'm afraid my brain is already starting to fry lol. In short, their differences are what make them interesting as a duo!! Each of their qualities can compliment the other's contrasting attributes and as people say, opposites attract!!!

2. Pivotal Roles in each other's Narrative

Hanakou are very important to each other's story since they are a key player in both their humble beginnings and tragic ends. Respectively, they are each other's gateway to a new life. Much like Nene, Kou is a symbol of hope for Hanako, his spunky attitude and determined nature igniting a humanitarian spark that Hanako lacked in the sixty years he lingered Kamome. For Kou, Hanako is the first apparition he meets, the one that sets off his rocky journey with navigating the world of supernaturals as a lackluster exorcist, and the second person to fuel his fire by believing in him. Specifically, Hanako tells Kou he looks forward to the day he can expel him with ease, a statement that foreshadows their distant future. In order to complete their whole character arcs (Hanako going from stubbornly clinging to the near shore to repent to accepting he's done every to atone and ready to pass on; Kou starting off weak and naive then ending as a stronger exorcist capable of understanding both the supernatural world and humanity) they'll have to do exactly what Hanako anticipated: Exorcise him once and for all. This aspect of their relationship is something intricately intertwined with their fates and while AidaIro may have forgotten about it, I can only hope they'll deliver so that they can bring their narratives full circle.

Now in the context of a romantic relationship, there are some absolutely soul crushing implications here. The hands Hanako loves to admire, intertwine his fingers with and adore are the same ones that will ultimately be his demise. Kou is Hanako's deathbed. That’s what they’ve known all along. It’s something that looms over their heads with a lingering heaviness neither boy wants address: Kou wanting to silently avoid his crushing responsibility while Hanako is just trying to savor whatever time he has with Kou. It's doomed just like everything else in TBHK <3

3. Young Exorcist arc

This one goes hand and hand with the second point but I felt that this needed to be discussed on its own since it's where many Hanakouers (ME) really took interest in their relationship. The arc begins with Kou being pulled aside by Teru, the two having a conversation about how Kou was supposed to immediately exorcise any seven mysteries he encounters. When Kou fumbles around him, insisting that he can't find it in himself to see Hanako as a bad supernatural, Teru is quick to remind him that "There is no such thing as a 'good supernatural'" and promptly takes him off the case. He was going to take matters into his own hands but the moment Kou looks at him with pleading eyes, Teru decides to give him more time to carry the duty out.

This is where Kou sets off to find Hanako, get some irrefutable proof that he's not evil like the generalization Teru makes. The effort he puts here into defending Hanako is absolutely adorable, if not a testament to their potential then a testament to Kou's sweet character. The suspicion he's built as he spies on Hanako who saunters around with a sack of stolen items is broken once the ghost explains that he's gathering them to return to their rightful owners. As stated previously, Hanako’s noble deeds are done more as a way to atone rather than out of his own good will so to see that he went out of his way to return stolen items to students, one of which being Kou’s safety earring, without being obligated to do so is great evidence to support Kou's idea that supernaturals can be good. Given this, Kou decides right then and there that he won’t exorcise Hanako after all. Now, Hanako here could have reveled in this decision, his kind act successfully manipulating Kou into compliance with his schemes, but instead, Hanako shows him exactly why he shouldn’t give up.

He cares for the kid. He does. Which is why he has to show how wrong he can be. It’s a downright dangerous thought because it lures Kou into a false sense of security that all supernaturals can be “good” like Hanako.

Cue Teru's dramatic entrance where he immediately apprehends the offending apparition and tries to execute him (for good reason). Blah blah blah Teru is condescending towards Kou because he made the wrong call again, something something Kou is trapped in Teru's bead bracelet and question his view of Hanako once more. For a moment, Kou almost gives into despair, letting Teru exorcise him without another word. After all, what does Kou know about the supernatural world? He's a weak link to Teru's infinite knowledge, power and experience. Maybe he should just let him do what he deems best.

However, as Hanako objects to his sentencing, screaming that “death would only be a release” and he still has so much to do here, it reminds Kou that Hanako is here for a reason. Sure, he’s an apparition, something that’s synonymous with evil, but all that time they spent together has to mean something, right? Hanako indulges Nene and Kou, joking around, Hanako has indulged Kou when no one else believed in him, he's saved them when he easily could’ve left them to their own devices. That definitely means something. Suddenly, Kou breaks free from the beaded prison, charges in the middle of the battle field and grips Teru's blade with an iron fist, all to save Hanako.

Just look at that. Kou slit his own palm trying to protect Hanako, someone he vowed to erase just weeks ago, because he's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He defies his brother, someone he highly admired for the past fourteen years of his life, for Hanako’s sake. Kou’s change in attitude towards his exorcist duties is largely attributed to Hanako. The sole notion of Hanako, the not so evil supernatural, has turned Kou’s world completely upside down.

I'll never forgive the anime for omitting this arc, not only because it excludes a pivotal moment in their relationship but also because it deprived an enriching detail to their development!!! Oh my god. Kou finally stands up for himself and owns up to his naivety. He knows he’s stupid for jumping from one extreme conclusion to the other before he has fully understood everything Hanako has to offer but he can no longer side with Teru’s one note view of him or supernaturals in general, lest more decent apparitions be erased without cause. He brings a level of nuance to the function that Teru does not appreciate!! When Kou decides to vouch for Hanako, undertaking the massive responsibility to watch over him all on his own, it shows a lot of growth in his maturity and his perspective of the ghost.

So yeah. A lot to say about the young exorcist arc. Not only has it deeply impacted the Minamoto brothers relationship, but it has brought a significant change within Kou’s mindset. He’s no longer trying to label Hanako as a definitive good or bad but trying to deepen his understanding of him and decide what to do from there. As for Hanako, he seems to respect Kou more now, giving credit where credit is due, and feels as though their bond is strengthened by the vulnerable state they saw each other in. He even acknowledges this in the first chapter of ASHK when Teru comes in to “help clean" by immediately taking cover behind Kou and questioning the commitment he made to keep Teru at bay. It's also weirdly sweet to see Hanako taking cover behind Kou here!! It really goes to show how much trust they've built for each other and how safe Hanako feels around the exorcist C:

To sum it all up, the young exorcist arc was an important part of showing how Hanakou work together and cement how their views of humanity/supernatural world are shifting because of each other!! I didn't get to talk about it too much but they also have a bunch of cute moments here which sorta feeds to the next point.

4. Classic Bromance to Romance

A bromance is defined as a quote en quote "close, friendly but non-sexual relationship between two men" and that's more or less what Hanakou brings to the table!!! First and foremost, they are complete opposites in a lot of their personality traits which makes it fun to see how they interact. Hanako's pervyness to Kou's disciplined innocence, Hanako's mischief to Kou's gullibility, Hanako's love of teasing to Kou's fiery denials, it's all just so entertaining to watch!!! They bounce off each other sorta like a coke and mentos relationship where on their own, they're absolutely fine but when they're together BOOM explosions, dumb arguments, rough housing 24/7, etc, etc. Just take a look at the shenanigans they get up to in this panel.

How? Just how did they get here? They used to be enemies, they're still supposed to be enemies but here they are, a hopeful descendent of a powerful exorcist clan and an executive leader of a important supernatural group, just play fighting with a mop and broom like they're no better than two clumsy best friends goofing off on their free time. I love their little bromance so much because it's the result of their growth during the many adventures they've had together. URUGHH After they've been through, it's deeply endearing to realize that they really are just boys being boys at their core!! C:

Now moving onto the romance part, I want to preface this with how I do believe men should be allowed to have intimate platonic relationships with each other without having to get accused of being gay but alas, I fear Hanakou's closeness as friends can easily pave the way for something more as they blur the line between friendly and flirty banter.

It's already been established that Hanako feels safe enough to be his usual self around the exorcist, knowing that no matter how mischievous, touchy and downright despicable Hanako can be, Kou won't ever hurt him. It's a sweet sort of trust that can be explored further with some typical bromance shenanigans, IE Hanako gets bored and decides to test Kou's boundaries just for the hell of it. At first, it's only joke flirting and some harmless teasing here and there. Maybe a lingering touch or two (only to push some buttons of course). Most of the time, Hanako finds this endeavor to be deeply rewarding since Kou reacts in a way that Nene doesn’t, his responses leaning into his more physical, boyish volatility as he either bashfully pushes Hanako away, chases him off or just straight up punches him in the arm, visibly flustered. The reactiveness encourages Hanako to keep upping the ante to the point where it's more unusual for him not to mess with Kou. It's grown into a bad habit of his: snaking his arms around Kou's shoulders, fiddling with his fingers with reverent fascination, sneaking glances at the boy and making funny faces in the hopes he'll look back and laugh, etc, etc. As Kou gets used to Hanako's antics overtime, his extreme reactions gradually diminish and it's becoming increasingly clearer that Hanako isn't (wasn't?) just doing it because "he's bored" anymore. No, it's something worse. With a sinking clarity, Hanako realizes boredom isn't the driving reason for being around Kou anymore, it's fondness of the cute (flustered) expressions he makes, it's the giddiness that swells in his chest when Hanako manages to make him smile, the electricity that floods his system when Kou flirts back, it's...something else he does not want to dissect. And so, Hanako will bury this revelation under the belief it's due to his unfamiliarity of friendship. Fifty years of isolation has to do a number to your perception of romance vs friendship, right???

Meanwhile, Kou is committed to the promise he made in the young exorcist arc so he's usually admiring from afar watching over Hanako to make sure he's in line and keeping an eye on Hanako isn't hard as of late; they're spending more time together before, during and after school and as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he genuinely enjoys the company. Kou likes what they have, it's good that they can rely on each other and still leave room to joke around but to be honest, Kou has some...weird feelings towards Hanako. Every time their eyes meet his heart skips a beat, whenever he lets his mind wander it usually finds its way back to Hanako, their friendly banter stuck in his head, and for whatever reason, Kou's body can't seem to forget the ghost's touch, even long after he's fucked off to who knows where. There's something different about it. It's not the detestation he had when he first met Hanako, nor is it the quaint glee he had when he decided to not exorcise him. It's something completely new, something foreign that has his stomach doing flips every time he sees Hanako's bright smile or hears his stupid laugh. Kou tries not to think about it too much, lest he gives Hanako exactly what he wants, so he just chalks it up to his view of supernaturals being challenged. After all, going from believing all supernaturals are dangerous, evil vermin that need to be exterminated to voluntarily hanging out with such a friendly one is bound to stir up some mixed feelings, right?

Do you see my vision now? The bromance to romance pipeline would be unreal with these two confused idiots!! There's so much room for the internalized homophobia, the confusion of trying to differentiate friendly feelings from the clusterfuck of emotions the other boy evokes and the funny fumblings of two teenage boys letting the joke flirting go a bit too far like a game of gay chicken gone wrong. Their relationship speaks to me in a way that can only be described as the entertainment you get from mixing two reactive substances and waiting for the inevitable chaos that proceeds. Even if you don't ship Hanakou romantically, you gotta admit their dynamic is super fun to explore!! C:

5. Other characters reactions

I swear I’m taking this somewhat seriously but I really enjoy the more wholesome aspects of this ship!! Nene being the third wheel to her two guy best friends, the LEAST romantic people she knows, is something that is deeply entertaining to me <3 She came into Hanako's life wishing for a boyfriend, failed to get one and then had to watch him get one himself. She would be so happy for them but at the same time, she'd be fighting demons trying to figure out how these two IDIOTS got more rizz than she does. (How much aura do you lose for this LMAOOOO)

Then you got Teru which if you liked this aspect of Mitsukou where Teru disapproves of his brother dating a school mystery then hooo boy YOU’LL LOVE HANAKOU!! Whatever apprehension he has towards Mitsukou it's increased tenfold because it’s one thing to date a school mystery, it’s a whole other thing to date not only the ghost of a murder but the LEADER of the seven mysteries??? Teru would absolutely flip his shit, wasting no time to charge into Hanako’s bathroom and expel him right then and there the SECOND he finds out (AND I DON'T BLAME HIM!! he just doing his job fr). I’ve been told it’s sorta like a Romeo and Juliet situation where two star crossed lovers are kept apart by a long-standing feud between their opposing houses (Montagues and Capulets WHO? I only know the Minamoto clan and Seven Mysteries) and I think that can just about sum it up!!

6. Hanako-San (ASHK)

This post is already as long as it is so I’ll save you the trouble of attempting an analysis and copy and paste my ramble from another post: “In regards to HanaKou discourse, I've always seen people say 'Kou's into Mitsuba!!' or 'they're just platonic besties! Plus Kou rejected Hanako!!!' and sure, maybe Kou doesn't have a thing for Hanako but has anyone REALLY stopped to consider Hanako has a thing for Kou??? And just. Didn't process it because of internalized homophobia AND his crush on Nene overshadowing his feelings for Kou??? Because THIS chapter had NO RIGHT to be so fruity on Hanako's part” and yeah why is the first thing Hanako decides to do when he turns into a girl is flirt with Kou??? And an even better question is why did he genuinely sulk when Kou rejected him??? If you didn't mean it why were you so butt hurt then huh??? Hanako really is the type of guy to passively think "if Kou was a girl or if I was a girl, I'd date him 100%" and it definitely shows!!!

7. Fanfiction. So. Much. Fanfiction.

This one doesn't have much to do with canon but it's more than likely why some people (ME) began to ship Hanakou!! My personal experience was I thought they were sorta interesting and I checked on ao3 to see if there were any others who thought the same. To my surprise, there were a bunch of fics lovingly written for them already and out of curiosity I started reading one. One became two, two became three, then suddenly I was tumbling down the rabbit hole feverishly consuming whatever I could get my grubby little hands on. As you've stated, seeing others' passion can be pretty compelling reason to start shipping something and I totally agree!!! Exploring the dynamics in such a freeing medium like Fanfiction can be much more invigorating than just reinterpreting canon so do give it a try if you're interested!! I promise Hanakou nation is a welcoming space and we'd be delighted to see more people on board with these two idiots C:

END

AUGHHHH I struggled to find the right words to express my thoughts but I hope it gave you a better understanding of Hanakou!! These two really are my Roman Empire and despite how much I floundered around this post, I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to share my visions!!! Thank you so much for asking C:

[rin-and-jade]

Hi, same system as before -

Do you have any information on dating a singlet, as a system?

We're in this situation rn and we really want to tell that person about our experiences, (and we're sure they'll be accepting, they're very sweet and kind :3) but we.... want some time to figure things out, and also, because we have NO IDEA how to make it work like:

What if one of us switches out suddenly,,, in the middle of idk.. kissing? What if not all of our alters love this person to the same degree? Do they even (our alters) have to?? We haven't quite figured out how to distinguish each one of us (we got a looooot of blurriness going on) - so we think that might be a problem but we aren't sure how to deal with it???

Argghh we have so many questionnnssssss

(Also do you have a masterlist of posts? We tried looking for one on your introduction page - but didn't understand it... :< ;^; )

- 🍁💥🧸

I do not have any information or posts for dating,

So please type all the questions you have regarding of this topic, i'll also answer the ones you had said too!

Q: "What if i switched midway??" A: You can either politely tell them to pause because you accidentally flipped to a different side of a coin, or, if the part doesn't mind, continue it. It heavily depends on how you want to go along with it you know? If it wants to retract, then retract,, if it is okay, then keep on going but also let them know you switched.

Q: "What if i don't love this person consistently?" A: Its natural for systems to have shifts throughout the day, if you love less--that doesn't mean its necessarily bad to feel that way. Accepting your ebb and flows goes a long way for your health and also abolishing of any expectations or values that seem to do more harm than good. They're not obliged to love the person too.

Q: "Im often blurry! How do i recognize my parts better?" A: Make sure you are not tired, stressed, or preoccupied with tasks and toughts. Nobody tells systems that to identify and know who even is fronting also takes mental energy. So if you are already depleted of it, it'll bound to be harder to recognize your other alters. On top of that, start small: hear the difference in accents, or way of speaking, notice any different opinions on one subject--those are your alters subtly speaking despite the blurriness.

--

Also i do not have a masterlist of posts, the tag, #jeducates , does that already. The tag is specifically for educative posts, while #janswersask is for looking back to QnA and see if a similar question has been asked before.

- chrono

[joanofexys]

hello!! :) I already asked in a comment but I shall bother you again in an ask so you can make a proper post <3 I would LOVE to know more about angels (AND PHOEBE'S BECAUSE HELLO??) relations with the canon cast!!

Yippee!! I love talking about Angel

Idk how this will be broken down exactly but it’s probably gonna get long as hell so be warned

Obviously Angel’s best friend is Harper. And no one will replace her, but he does still have great relationships with the foxes

I mentioned previously that he ends up with the monsters so he’s the closest with them, but he still gets on well with the upper classmen

In another ask abt him I mentioned he has a FWB dynamic with Allison. And he and Kevin def have something going on. That’s obviously all when Phoebe isn’t with him so I’ll probably focus most of this on his relationship with everyone while he has Phoebe with him

In that same ask I mentioned that Phoebe has favorites too. They’re Andrew and Kevin. And she has a habit of asking for Neil and screaming her lungs out if anyone else tries to touch her or play with her, but Neil has no clue what to do with her.

Idk I guess I'll just go through each of them one by one

Neil: Neil and Angel are both members of the serial killer father club and they're obligated to bond through that. For realsies though Neil helps Angel feel less out of place, as odd as that sounds. Obviously all the foxes have their issues and he was well aware of their reputation when he signed with them, but there's only so many of them that are visibliy fucked up. I think I've mentioned this before but all of Angel's scars have keloided, so they're raised scar tissue, and he's just covered them. And it's 100% been an insecurity of his even though he's accepted that it's something he just has to live with. And when he first joins the foxes very little about his situation and why he's there is unknown. They know about the foster homes and he has a lot of scars. But obviously when more about his past comes out there's a lot that he can share with Neil. With Neil he's able to feel like he's not being stared at all the time, that he's not getting weird looks everywhere he goes. And Neil doesn't tell Angel everything but he'll sit there and listen and let Angel feel like he's got someone who understands at least a little bit. And they play very well together. Stiker/backliner duos my beloved. Angel is very willing to defend Neil, violently, on the court (and Kevin too). Tbh he's probably responsible for a lot of their yellow and red cards his freshman year. Sometimes they'll go running together. Idk man, they're just buddies. And Phoebe, like a cat who can tell when someone isn't a cat person, fucking loves Neil. Neil still doesn't know what to do with her but sometimes she gets to sit on his lap while he's on the couch or a beanbag chair

Andrew: In the beginning, Andrew fucking Minyard is responsible for at least half of Angel's panic attacks and spirals. Angel's freshman year he moves in before the school year starts and he and Phoebe take a room at Abby's place and the monsters have to move around a bit, but basically they're all around the same area during the summer. And obviously, since they're sharing space with him, Andrew wants to know who the fuck Angel even is. And it is very easy to find.

Matteo Di Fiore, charged with the murders of 12 women, including his own wife. Di Fiore plead guilty to the murders of 12 adult women, including his wife, Sofia Di Fiore, over the course of 10 years. Di Fiore received max sentencing and leaves behind a teenage son, who authorities did not name, and was not present at the trial...

Idk something like that. There's definitely plenty of articles out there about his father and that mention he has a son and it's not very difficult to the connect the dots. That's the easy part. It's a lot harder to find out about the foster homes and everything before that, about what happened when Angel was still with his dad. But Andrew makes it very clear he knows. And it's a sort of open secret throughout the summer. Something no one will actually address but that they all know. Angel won't lie about it, but it's definitely something he prefers people don't know. They get better though and Andrew stops freaking Angel out. Because Andrew eventually adopts Angel pretty much. Why? Because he's got sad eyes and he's like a fucking kicked puppy whenever he's not in dad mode or whenever he's in stressed out dad mode.

And like I mentioned, Andrew is one of Phoebe's favorites. He does give her way too much sugar sometimes. She's the only one welcome to share his candy stash. And she loves to chat his ear off with her little toddler babble.

Kevin: Kevin motherfucking Day. Another one of Phoebe's favorites. And also Angel's favorite. It's another case of striker/backliner duo got me good. They make sick. They just work, okay? They're incredible on the court together and Angel will obviously snark back at Kevin but he's also someone who listens so intensely to ever piece of criticism, advice, and nonsensical ranting that Kevin throws his way. Angel's anxiety isn't as bad as Kevin's to begin with but he is also one of those friends whose anxiety will just stop existing the second there's someone more anxious than him. So he and Kevin work great. Emotion support dog Angel or whatever the fuck symbolism we've got going on. I'm just now realizing Angel is dog coded. They nap on bus rides together (Phoebe sits up front with Wymack). They watch Trojans games together. They study together. Angel listens to Kevin rant about history. Kevin listens to Angel ramble about classics. I feel very strongly about them but I'm trying not to make it weird.

Phoebe is around him so much I think he's become one of her favorites that way. Also he's tall, still shorter than Angel rip, and good for piggy back rides. She definitely naps on him a lot while he watches games and Angel gets a much needed break to study and get some homework done.

Aaron: They have to be friends. There's just no way they're not atp. Like Angel and Harper are exes but they're still best friends and definitely do double dates with Aaron and Katelyn. He is a trusted babysitter and kateaaron kick ass when on babysitting duty. He is, unfortunately, not Phoebe's favorite but she can tell him apart from Andrew and knows it's okay to run up to him, yelling his name, and expect to be picked up. Aaron and Angel hang out with the vixens together. Aaron is definitely closer friends with Harper than he is with Angel but they have no problem hanging out together and they don't really fight or anything. Angel definitely admires Aaron for his career goals and how passionate he is about becoming a doctor especially because, even in college, Angel has no clue what he wants to do with the rest of his life and he can appreciate that Aaron has a set goal.

Nicky: Nicky definitely brings out a much louder part of Angel. They joke flirt. Angel is very much okay with being a recipient of Nicky's affection while also having zero problems setting boundaries with him. And obviously Nicky fucking adores Phoebe. They're not best friends, if they're not with the rest of the monsters they probably don't ever hang out, but they do have a lot of fun together when they're with each other.

Allison: Allison and Angel know how to have fun. Allison is one of those people in Angel's life that could get him to agree to crazy shit he would never agree to do otherwise. And he just fucking loves. They're excellent friends and love to talk shit and go on coffee runs together. Most of their time together is when Harper has Phoebe, but Allison does love P whenever she's around. If she's doing her makeup and Phoebe shows any interest she'll pretend to do P's makeup too and tell her she looks so pretty

Renee: I think they have the weirdest dynamic ever. Angel and Renee just kind of exist together. Two traumatized fuckers trying to better than their pasts with angel wings tattooed on their back. Renee offers to teach him to fight and respects it when he says no. When Angel needs somewhere quiet he knows he can always shoot Renee a text and just come sit with her. P loves her hair and loves her and always draws Renee rainbows

Dan: Angel has so much respect for Dan. I don't think they're particularly close but he does know he can always come to her even if she's not the first person he'd seek out. She's someone reliable and in his eyes she really seems like she's got her shit together. I think Dan leaves him a little starstruck tbh. Dan is also Phoebe's favorite fox to cheer for at games. Not her favorite off the court (though Phoebe still loves her) but definitely her favorite on the court

Matt: I think Angel's relationship with Matt is similar to his relationship with Dan. He sort of views them as a package deal (which is the same way he views himself and Harper tbh). He likes being around Matt and really respects him as another backliner. They never really fight on the court, or off of it, and they also just don't have many super personal conversations. I think after it comes out that they've got another dumbass kid with a serial killer dad on the team I think Matt pulls Angel aside for a "hey dude. please please please don't be like Neil" and they form a sort of truce where Angel basically promises not to do any of the dumb shit Neil did the year prior and Matt promises not to revoke his offer of babysitting.

Wymack, Abby, and Bee: Was gonna do these guys separately and I could do them all separately but this is getting too long and I need to wrap it up. Wymack is just someone Angel is so beyond grateful for. He's always willing to watch Phoebe and has confronted Angel a number of times with a sort of "you're still a kid. and yeah, you're a parent, but sometimes it gets to be too much and if you need a break then call me" talk. Abby obviously housed him for a short period of time and he loves her. She really was non judgemental about his scars and very willing to help with Phoebe as well and she was sort of the first person that gave Angel a stable home in years even though it was just letting him live at her house for the summer. And Bee he just fucking loves more than life itself. He does talk to her and he is very honest with her. But also plenty of their appointments consist of Angel taking a much needed nap on her couch while Phoebe either naps with him on his chest or Bee entertains Phoebe (if no one else was available to watch her). And I'm cutting myself off here because this was never supposed to get this long

[parsapuff]

Important Updates!

So everyone kinda knows how I'm struggling to release cc rn so I'll list some reasons why I'm currently struggling.

I'm loosing Interest In posting anything on tumblr rn.

I've been out of energy and extremely tired for a while now. I don't really know what's going on with me but I haven't been really able to do much other then sleep

I never expected to get this big of a following and It's definitely making me nervous to post anything.

I had an art account a few years agon on twt and this same thing happened to me so I just kinda stopped posting. 😥

Don't really want to stop posting here tho since I still love making cc and want to release It for everyone. So I decided to make some changes. First of all I'm no longer keeping the voting poll active. I'll also only be making cc that I'm Interested In. Request poll will stay since many of the requests I've gotten are actually really good Ideas!

REQUESTS

Requesting other series Is fine I'll just be making characters from stuff I'm also Interested In! Sadly to the Honkai Impact 3rd fans I might not be making much of them anymore. I Just don't really care for the game but I do like a lot of the designs so I might be making them In the future still! I might make a big batch of mini sets for the HI3 characters that I haven't done yet so you'll at least have the hairs.

Made my current batch shorter as well. I'm going to pick future characters just based on who I wan't to work on.

Sorry If no one likes the change btw since the other option Is for me to just leave and stop posting </3 Just trying to make everything easier for me. Here's a small list of character's I'll still be working on. Some characters aren't here since I ran out of space or just forgot them. (sorry Sethos </3)

To make It easier to post stuff I'll be getting rid of one of the download sites. Either Google Drive or Mediafire. (leaning on google drive cause I hate putting stuff there) I'll also be asking the last people who took my photos If they could continue taking them In the future too 👉👈Other Idea Is letting someone else post them but Idk anyone here that well and talking to people scares me a bit </3

Also I'll be going through my old sets and adding specular maps to them! I'll retweet each set once I've updated them <3 This Is something I'll be doing slowly btw. But that's pretty much everything I wanted to say (I think) Hopefully this makes sense to people cause Idk what I'm typing here half of the time (plus english Is my second language so I make a lot of mistakes) Feel free to ask questions and I'll answer them the best I can. (sometimes tumblr dosen't notify me that I've gotten a comment btw so If I miss It sorry </3)

[enhashoutout]

Things I noticed while watching High and Low the Worst X again

I was watching High and Low The Worst X while I was on lunch break and then had more realizations and wanted to write about them lol

These are probably nothing new and someone else probably already noticed these but I wanted to make a post about them sooooo

I’ve watched the movie so many times now idk why I just realized the weight of the three scenes I’m about to talk about. But also I feel like I notice something new every time I watch the movies so I'm gonna cut myself some slack.

Amagai being the only character in the movie who genuinely doesn’t have a sense of friendship/comradery with anyone else.

The first time we see the 3 schools alliance meeting is the opening of the movie, and I remember when I first watched the movie I was like "well damn this looks like a solid ass team" only to find out later that they were in fact not really a team lol 😂 but anywaysss

Watching the movie this time I just realized what Fujin says to Amagai in the first scene in the restaurant where the 3 schools are holding their meetings.

Reiji is first to jump up and say "Let's get this brawl started," and Ghandi jumps in telling Amamgai that their troupes and weapons are ready. Shoji laughs and says that weapons are typical Kamasaka behavior which prompts them to jump at him and Fujin, Raijin, and the other Ebara guys jump straight to his defense while Shoji continues sitting. Amagai tells them to "get us more" while tossing the money bundles in their direction.

Every single fuckin character in this scene's facial expressions have me dying because the disbelief on their faces😂

Shoji looking at Amagai like he's full of shit.

Fujin, Raijin, and Ghandi are looking at him like "wtf?"

The background characters are looking at him in disbelief also like I was WHEEZING when I realized this. Back to the characters who are the main focus of this specific camera frame though, Ghandi and Fujin.

Both characters turn to Amagai with the BIGGEST look of disbelief on their faces and Fujin says "You don't trust we can do it huh?"

To which Amagai says "What's the use in trusting you guys?" and goes on a spiel about how being powerful means you trust no one and not even giving them a slight chance. He also goes on to say that being powerful means bringing everyone else down to their knees and tells the other 3 schools "Just shut up and stick with me. I'll show you what it's like to be at the top." Ryo's face when he says this is a whole other conversation for another day.

I'M SORRY BUT THE LOOKS REIJI AND SHOJI GIVE HIM AFTER HIS LITTLE SPIEL HAD ME ROLLING🤣 Like both characters gave him the most judgmental expression and then you got Shoji over here looking away and rolling his eyes PUH-LEASE I AM DEAD🤣

Aside from all of this being extremely funny to me, this plays into my point from above. Yes, all these looks are super funny but it really shows how as "bad" as the other guys are they still run in the same way that Oya and the other S.W.O.R.D gangs do, through friendship and comradery.

Fujin asked "You don't trust we can do it huh?" because Ebara most likely runs on comradery as well. You don't pay someone to do shit for you, they just know to trust each other to get it done. This is a concept that Amagai does not and can not understand because he's been conditioned to believe that the people around him are not worthy of trust or friendship due to his status, they just work for him. As long as he throws money at their feet, they'll do what he wants.

That's like kind of sad actually, the fact that the other "antagonists" of the film still know friendship and he doesn't... I still hate his guts though. We love Ryoki but we don't love his character Amagai.

The way Shoji vs Tsukasa asks Suzaki why he’s working for Amagai

I think everyone can agree that within that 3 school alliance, Shoji Sameoka was the only character with working brain cells (full offense to all the other characters lol no one else in that room had critical thinking skills I swear). From the first meeting we see, the audience can already tell Shoji is the only character who has doubts about this alliance but also questions it; while everyone else has doubts but proceed to just follow Amagai's orders. This eventually leads to Shoji being the one to suggest that Ebara drop out of the alliance because he thinks it’s stupid which then leads to him agreeing to Todoroki’s terms of dropping out of the alliance if Todoroki wins against Fujin and Raijin. I feel like Shoji as a person judges the other characters based on what he knows/hears about them.

We see this when he confronts Suzaki. Shoji asks Suzaki why he would come to Senomon and work under Amagai when he was the one running Nami High. Suzaki tells him to mind his own business. Shoji is asking Suzaki from a place of strength. Based on the dialogue, it seems like Shoji knew Suzaki and Amagai’s reputations before this alliance. I deduce this down to Shoji knowing that Suzaki was the strongest at Nami High and knowing that Amagai isn’t actually physically strong compared to the other characters, he just likes to cause trouble and make others work for him. People fear Amagai not for his strength or skills as a fighter, but simply because he has the money and status to be at the “top”.

This brings me to believe that Shoji was asking why someone as strong as Suzaki would even work under Amagai who is clearly not a match for him strength wise. It seems like Shoji is asking Suzaki why he would be scared of Amagai’s money and work under him when Suzaki is clearly stronger. I think this is because the Ebara guys ranks are based on their strength/who is the strongest (I make this assumption from the fact that Fujin and Raijin are straight up gym bros lol) so Shoji can’t understand why Suzaki is working under someone clearly weaker than him.

Tsukasa’s question is the same….. but also different.

Tsukasa strikes me as someone who really gets to know someone personally to the best of his abilities before he makes his own judgment on them. We see this with Rao in the movie. Tsukasa could’ve taken everyone’s word for it and been like “oh Rao is a big mean monster” but he takes it upon himself to find out who Rao actually is through Mercy. This is how he finds out Rao isn’t actually all that bad like the stories suggests and that Rao fights for good reason (for his siblings). This trait about Tsukasa is why he asks Suzaki why he fights for Amagai but is also why he’s the only one who is able to understand why Suzaki fights for Amagai without a direct answer.

When Tsukasa asks Suzaki why he works for Amagai, he says “why do you work for a guy like him? Does he has some kind of dirt on you?” and Suzaki just keeps quiet. This brings me to believe that Suzaki probably had a reputation for being the strongest at Nani High but also fought people within reason, he didn’t flaunt his strength just because he felt like it.

Tsukasa asked him based off the kind of person he is and not his strength. I'm assuming Ryo fought people within reason and not so much for fun or to assert his dominance over others with his strength, so him working under someone who has as shitty of a personality as Amagai probably threw Tsukasa off a bit.

He is also however able to tell that there is a friendship there even if it isn't great. At the end when Yuken and Todoroki ask why Ryo would work for someone like Amagai, Tsukasa says it's because he means more to Ryo than that. Alluding to the fact that Ryo is doing stuff for Amagai because he sees him as a friend even if everyone else doesn't.

Okay, I'm done now😂 this wasn't as deep as my other analysis because it's not super deep with comparisons or anything like that it was just stuff I noticed while watching the movie again.

I have fics I'm working on for all the S.W.O.R.D leaders and more for Fujio I'm just swamped with assignments and working a little slow

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

To you he's a menace to society, he's my little princess though. I'm back and here to serve more ideas of my favorite mean bbg 💗💗

Ok ok so I know this is based on the fic I sended, but can you imagine tan's wife being just so sassy? Walking up to this well known and feared leader, hand on our hip, smug smile, not a care in the world and saving our boys. And we always win because I said so.

Which brings me to my next point, acting. (I'm not obsessed with this idea at all haha) Now, this is silly but hear me out, since in the movie, the prince is a diesel because of her acting and how she bluffs, what if reader is arguing she's also a diesel because of her great acting skills. All I know for sure is that Lem would be so pissed at what we just said.

I hc that Tan doesn't spend much time on the internet, so when we send him "I'll see you at 14:37 :)" don't expect him to know. Lem would be like "you fucking dumbass" and having to explain what it means. (1437 = i love you forever)

Casual dom with Tan?? Pulling you by the waist so thar on the sidewalk you're further from the cars. Giving you his jacket because you "forgot" yours at home (he secretly loves it) scolding you when you don't eat and holding your chin up to make you look at him

This one is self indulgent but, wearing heels all day and you're legs hurt so he offers you a piggy back ride back home :((

Last one, I think he's kind of hesitant to open up at first but as time went by, and you two get married, what do you think will change in your relationship?

OK LAST ONE FR THIS TIME I'm feeling a little mischievous, giving him an attitude? 😱😱 shocking but,, how will he react? Please share thoughts ☺️

Also,, that text conversation ?? Delicious, thank you for the food ma'am. A while back, when I send one of these ideas asks (idk how to call them) I mentioned how it'll be like to be in a groupchat with these two and the fake sms app is exactly what I had in mind. Now that I saw the post, I wanted to ask if you could do something similar but I'm aware it's probably a lot of hassle so it's okay if you don't want to !! Sorry for any spelling mistakes!!  💺 anon

I love wearing sunglasses bcs no one will know what you're looking at haha. I say as I'm obviously staring at Tan's chest

hii!! ofc ofc, please enlighten me with ideas of our cute wholesome angel😩!!

1. like a protective mama bear 😌 always looking out for our little princesses. and yes to winning bc that’s the only way tbh

2. 😭😭😭 yes!! would kinda imagine as a femme fatale just bc it’s badass, and she would have many skills- acting one of them!! like someone you watch in a movie, and you’re like she’s fucking cool

3. yes!! feel like he’s a bit old in that department - he’s not really ‘up to date’. tbh I didn’t I know what that meant either until I read your last line😭 I feel like Lems the opposite of tan with the internet, he just knows things

4. ARFFGH LOVE IT!! he’s very chivalrous bc I say so! he NEVER lets you walk on the outside of the pavement!! always holds the/ your bags !! holds you close if you’re both out at night!! makes you food if you haven’t eaten!! makes you drinks- big acts of service kinda guy🫠😌 MAYBE… he doesn’t need a jacket but always brings one bc he knows you’ll get cold :((

5. so cute !!! especially if you went on a date!!

6. he’s a tough nut to crack!! dare I say a little difficult to love at times😶 I think he just needs lots of genuine reassurance and support to get you both past that first barrier. also he probs tries to push you away. but once you’re comfortable with each other and had a lot of time to learn from one another, he’ll be a great partner!! as most people, he gets more comfortable with time, so he’ll start to annoy you and wind you up for fun. maybe might argue more as time goes on, but they’re not that serious, nor are they petty, just standard ones

7. he knows how to shut you up, that’s all im gonna say

8. ugh you’re so welcome, love feeding my children😌 yes yes ofc!! just need to figure out how to that (bc it’s 3 people) I send messages to my ipad and respond that way😭 so if I find away to make a group chat as such, I’ll definitely let you know

9. he’s got such a pretty chest🥹

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[tojiscrack]

i can’t wait for the day the liar, liar fic gets so big and i can say i’ve been here SINCE THE LEVI FIC YOU STARTED because your fics are genuinely unlike any other fic i’ve ever read before.

you have me falling in love with even the OC’S, i usually hate oc’s. i can’t really name many fics off the top of my head that i actually liked reading bc as you said in your ‘about me’, i too have a particular way i imagine characters so when i read fics and see them completely different or acting (in my view) ‘cringe’, i immediately get off it. you’ll notice my reblogs are only your posts because i never reblog anything unless it is PERFECT, and my standards are HIGHH so the fact that you’ve managed to get me to reblog your posts is crazy to me. i love you and ur writing sm.

i’m WAITING for the day ‘liar, liar’ gets as big as say ‘7 minutes in heaven’ for example, (the chokehold that fic had on the aot fandom was CRAZY). and not to be… idk, rude(?), but i think your fic is WAYYYY better (and the plot hasn’t even STARTED yet). i’m gonna need people making tiktoks about ‘liar, liar’ STAT so i can have people to talk to about this other than my friend 😭

liar, liar masterlist here:

girl i've BEEN knowing u since the levi fic, which i believe began in august of 2022, so we've known each other for a good two years now, is that not WILD?? (that, and the fact that since august 2022, i've only released 7 chapters of soano, oops-)

'ur fics are genuinely unlike any other fic i've ever read before' -- wishing i was typing this on my phone instead of my laptop rn cuz i can't spam emojis expressing how flattered i feel with this section right here :(((( i'm so pleased u like my works (plural, 'cause despite ur username, and past username, being dedicated to levi and eren, you're out here supporting my jjk megumi fic too).

HELP I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD READ MY 'ABOUT ME' POST LMAOO. it was just put up there 'cause i needed to get that done and after putting it off for so long, i finally made it lolll. i stalk ur page every once in a while, so i'm well aware of your reposts being just my fics, and not to be big-headed about it, but i'd get so internally cocky just seeing that HAHAHA.

BUT, i was silent about it till now (YOU mentioned it first, nawt me, so i can happily respond this way without being seen as arrogant -- huzzah!). and idk how else to show i appreciate ur support and comments SM (that's including ur blazes which, ik i've spammed ur dm's already but seriously, i can't thank you enough for, it's like another function of tipping which is super SUPER cool of u).

'i’m waiting for the day liar, liar gets as big as say 7 mins' -- aww STOPPPP. i'd love for my stories to have a hold over the jjk fandom, but idk, if we're being real, i feel like the gojo (unreleased) story i have planned will reach more ppl seeing as it features THE satoru gojo (my princess who also happens to be THE princess of anime). but liar liar seems to be growing every day (thanks to YOUR blazes, which again, u really don't have to do ml). if it does ever reach a wider audience, i'll remember you for sure. i'll remember a handful others who are og's too, but you were my first EVER reader ALTOGETHER and i PROMISE you i won't forget that <3

[howlingmoonrise]

tagged by the fantastic @sunriseverse! thanks sunny!! 💖

under the cut because this one is long

1. why did you choose your url?

i wanted a new fandom penname and at the time adjective + noun names were a thing. i fiddled with several different variations, tried and failed to acquire kaleidoscopicmoonrise at the time (it's mine now!!), and landed on this one. i wanted something a little spooky, especially since soul eater was my fandom at the time - though it doesn't feel like it now that my icon is a lot more sane-looking lmfao

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

uh. yeah. a stupid amount (like 30+?), so i'm definitely not naming them all. most active are obviously this howl blog, my main blog @commandersya, this one for danny phantom and gravity falls stuff, @howlingspacegoo gets some activity every now and then when venom stuff resurfaces, and some others i use for reblogging specific reference stuff. most of the rest are for fandom events i've run in the past.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since like 2011-2012. i've seen it all.

4. do you have a queue tag?

lmao absolutely not. i don't use the queue function, though on occasion i'll schedule posts to space them out when i'm going through a tag in order not to reblog all of it at once, or for specific dates like halloween

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

this one was for soul eater writing purposes. tumblr in general was because my cousin dragged me into it and then i realized there was a lot of bandom stuff in here (i was really into black veil brides for my first year or two on tumblr)

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i broke ties with the soul eater fandom in a not great way and wanted to change my icon. yoi provided the perfect yuri expression with the kind of benevolent dictator smile i really like, despite that not being the original intent for it when the animators drew it ✊😔

7. why did you choose your header?

i had to check my header real quick lmfao. jason todd is just an excellent blorbo and when a good artist draws him.... 👀👀👀

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

oh gods. probably my dracula/barbie fic at nearly 3.5k notes. where's that ben affleck cigarrette pic when you need it. alternatively some ancient black veil brides photo/gif on my main blog.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk but i cherish y'all 💖

10. how many followers do you have?

dunno 😭 they're split across dozens of blogs so i'm not counting them all

11. how many people do you follow?

1.8k+, though i should follow more. my dash has times when it's pretty dead.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? yes. just remembered the i bit the butte psoh post.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

however long i'm online on my laptop, more or less. so a sizeable amount of hours

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

LMAO. i was in both voltron and yoi fandoms, writing for and running events for "problematic" ships. take a wild wild guess.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

hate them. 90% of the time it'll make me automatically skip it. for the other 10%, if it has relevant info on the op's original post and that little sentence is on the comments then i might go back and reblog from the op just to get rid of it

16. do you like tag games?

love them!

17. do you like ask games?

see above

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have uhhh. some. olderthannetfic, nemainofthewater, i think also colubrina for a while there, off the top of my head.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

if friend crushes count then several ✊😔

20. what is the last song you listened to?

the cramps - goo goo muck

21. what are you currently watching?

i am. so bad at finishing things so like a bajillion shows. the double i might drop despite it having been very very good until like episode 30-something. meet you at the blossom i need to finish like the last two eps. wandee goodday i need to finish four episodes iirc. i was in like episode 5 of century of love. i was on episode... 17? of my journey to you, which if i power through shall be for the antagonist sidepair/trio rather than the main characters. i was also at episode 16 of new life begins, which was fairly good and i do want to continue though i keep forgetting i have that tab open somewhere.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status?

single and ace so not planning on changing that!

24. what is your current obsession?

the spirealm/kaleidoscope of death, and mysterious lotus casebook

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

- La P'tite Fumée - Cypher - Brody Dale - Don't Mess With Me - Stiff Little Fingers - Alternative Ulster - Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) - The Cramps - What's Inside a Girl - Linkin Park - Heavy is the Crown - Miyavi & PVRIS - Snakes - D-A-D - Sleeping My Day Away - Aerosmith - Dream On

no-pressure tagging! @junemermaid @a-memory-a-distant-echo @snorlaxlovesme @where-the-water-flows @nemainofthewater

[chiarrara]

More music!!!!

Since we mentioned Gojos music taste i think he would absolutely love this song. Alternatively, Gojo being stupidly into Geto

Listen before we start I know the lyrics have some undertones of unreciprocated love but it’s also very sweet. Idk I just like to imagine this as stsg right before they confessed to each other. (Side note: Geto would love The Police)(another side note: he’d also love Sting)

1. Gojo would love Kate Bush 2. Gojo would also love Take On Me by A-Ha 3. This is satosugu in a way that makes me wanna cry

90’s itafushi! When I mentioned goth Gumi teaching Yuji how to dance, I meant the sort of strange but very simple and elegant sort of gothic dancing. Like smooth hand movements and shit. This song is perfect for that and perfect for them.

I think this one is a given but especially the “That season when I cried right in front of your eyes, sttay with me, saying our favourite words, holding on to our little moment (Ooh), I'll never forget how warm it felt” what if I died right now huh

I have typed out replies to this post two times now and tumblr has destroyed both of them. I am a shell of my former self. Here we go again:

(1980s SatoSugu AU + 1990s Megumi AU Playlists)

1. You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) - Dead or Alive

totally agree. i think every time this came on the radio Gojo would blast it and dance so hard the car shakes lol. plus i think he would sing along and tease/flirt with geto like leaning over and singing it to him, which would make Geto smile :)

2. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

love Geto being into the Police, absolutely integrating this, added a few Police songs (do you think Sting was Geto's sexual awakening lol)

Yeah it's got unrequited undertones but it's also so positive I could definitely see this song being a confession song that turns into a love song for them after

ahhhhhhh Akari visuals 😭 rain and umbrellas being visual motifs for them

i think geto just feels this way sometimes lol. he's a little troubled. Also added:

this one came out in '83 so I feel like gojo would hear it on the radio and really like it, which would make geto super happy :)

yeeeeee foreshadowing 😬

3. Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush

I don't know Kate Bush that well so I'll take your word for it! also if i think about this song in a stsg context for too long i will become very sad 🥲

BONUS: Take On Me - a-ha

abso-fucking-lutely. another blasting and dancing and flirting song except geto is also singing along and play flirting. you just can't listen to this song and not sing along at the top of your lungs in the most dramatic way possible. especially in a car

4. Lets Go To Bed - The Cure

I hadn't heard this one before!! I was mostly joking with that gif before lol. more like:

i get you, i can totally see it.

i love me a mutual pining slowburn lmaoo

5. Mayonaka no Door / Stay With Me - Miki Matsubara

ouch ouch ouch ouch (really beautiful song tysm 😢)

BONUS:

i decided gojo loves Supertramp (I love Supertramp) like he doesn't actually own too many records, but he owns Breakfast in America. So, here you go :)

it's the satosugu fix-it song of my dreams 🥲

--

If this doesn't post again, you're getting screenshots I'm so sorry.

BONUS BONUS: I drove home (after the FIRST TIME this didn't post) and listened to Pink Floyd since we already determined Geto has TWO pink floyd tapes in his glove compartment, and

god this one is really fucking me up

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

--

posting w/out the playlists attached in case too many audio links is the problem will edit again if i can

too many audio links is the problem. check the first two tags if you want them lol

[littlegodzilla]

Okay, okay, Who likes weird stories? Who likes the paranormal and the mysterious? Me! Who is incapable of writing anything short in his life? Me too!

Well, I love this request, all the mystery, the magic, the intrigue that this story can have, I wanted to do a one shot, at first, but I started writing and I was unable to stop. I'll post the first part, the story has a lot to offer yet, it's just a little taste of what can happen....

Hope you'll like it!!

Enjoy!!

****************

Back to Our World.

Norman Reedus x Reader.

Part 1. Request.

Requested by @minervadashwood (thank you I love writing it!): maybe season 3 of the walking dead is shooting. reader and norman have had a love scene together, since then they've become like...idk fuck buddies? but reader has feelings for him. he'll be goofy and just say "i love you" and then laugh (like he does with andy?, so she knows he doesn't mean it. Perhaps late one night they are rehearsing an argument for the show,and they're the only people on the set. Then, the worst storm georgia has ever seen rolls in, and lightning strikes the set, the two of them get knocked out. when they wake up, they're dressed as their characters.

all the other actors are on set, but there's no crew. very weird. they try to chat with andy or melissa, but neither one of them respond to those names, the the others start to get suspiscious of reader and daryl. Like they have working cell phones (no service, but they light up and stuff). Reader has a tattoo on her arm that isn't visible on the show...stuff like that maybe?

anyway, they have to pretend to be daryl and reader's character to keep anyone from shooting them. so they're sharing a mattress at night, acting like a couple, etc.

Warnings: Eventual Smut. Fantasy. TWD Stuff. Some Comedy. Romance and fluff.

Words: 9000

*******************

The mattress creaks again and again with each thrust, each time the moans get louder, the echo of sweaty skins in a room enveloped in a warm, moist atmosphere until both bodies fall exhausted on the bed.

This has been going on since the end of The Walking Dead's first season. After the CDC episode, Daryl and your character had a torrid scene, wrapped in a lot of alcohol and remorse the next day, but the moment was intimate and sexually tense between you and the actor who plays Daryl, Norman Reedus. At first it didn't seem to change anything, but after a couple of weeks, Norman started texting you to propose talking after filming, going down town for lunch, or just clearing your mind from the whole day's work. You took those invitations as something between friends, something innocent, but then everything changed and one night your talk ended up in his trailer, and the two of you in his bed. After that night, there have been others, it's not something that happens every day, but the two of you seek each other out and accept each other's company assiduously. You never talked about it, even when the season ended you thought it would end, that it would not happen again, but it didn't, when you discovered that Norman kept writing you from time to time, asking you how you were and if you felt like seeing each other.

Things were still not exactly clear with your meetings, but you couldn't say no to him, you liked spending the day and nights with him, not only is he a great lover, Norman has proved that to you on more than one occasion, but he is also a good friend, he is funny and crazy at times, protective and confidant on many other occasions.

You have to admit that, perhaps unplanned, you've fallen a little in love with him.

Maybe a lot.

"Are you okay, honey?" his voice brings you back to that very moment. "Have I been too intense?"

"N-no, it's been great, as always." You mumble and look up at him with a shy smile. Norman smiles and pulls you to him, using his chest as a pillow.

"Good girl, you always know how to make me feel good." He jokes and you both laugh low.

You're struggling not to fall asleep, it's been a long day on the film set, the Georgia heat is taking its toll on all of you, plus all the hours doing and undoing the same takes until they come out right. The pleasant warmth of Norman's body, his comfort, his fingers brushing against your skin, are guiding you into a slow but pleasant slumber. Norman turns his head to look at you, your eyes are already closed, which makes him smile, his other hand strokes your hair, you open your eyes a little and he kisses your forehead.

"Rest, beautiful, I'm leaving now." He tells you releasing your body.

"Y-you can stay here..." You offer. You never stay in each other's trailer, always, after sex you say goodbye and go back to your trailers. It's not like your partners don't know what's going on, but you try to be discreet.

"No, I want you to rest." He leans over and kisses you on the head again. "I'll see you tomorrow on set."

One of the other stipulations of your encounters is that Norman never kisses you. No matter how intense, how needy and desperate the situation. His mouth never touches yours. He may touch the rest of your body, every crease and corner, but never your lips. You found it frustrating at first, now you've learned to accept it.

"Okay..." You whisper, curling up on the bed, covering your nakedness with the sheets as you watch him get dressed, he leaves his pants and slippers unfastened, his trailer is not far from yours, so he doesn't need to dress too much.

He gives you one last look, a smile and a wink before leaving the room, in the distance the echo of the door closing. You sigh long and close your eyes. It doesn't take you long to fall asleep, you're exhausted, but your mind wanders between confused and restless dreams.

*************

The third season begins in an exciting way, after losing the farm, your whole group has to go on the road, Lori is very pregnant and the group begins to doubt Rick's leadership. Daryl and your character are a couple now, their bond has been growing stronger since the night of the CDC and especially after the days at Greene Farm and the loss of Sophia. The scenes you're filming now are close to the prison, the house you'll have throughout that season, but it won't be easy for you to maintain. You're still starting and you know for sure it's going to be long months, with little sleep and too much repetition. But there's a reason you love acting and you wouldn't trade it for anything.

That morning, as you eat breakfast, you still feel a little sore from the night before, some glances fall on you, there are mischievous smiles, but no one says anything, they know you are shy about it. Sometimes you talk to Melissa or Lauren, you need to talk it over with someone, if only to clear your own mind.

"Don't get too attached to him." Lauren once advised you. "Remember, you're not his first 'friend' here." She gives you an intense look.

It's true, Norman and Laurie Holden also had their moment very early in the series. It was like an immediate connection between them, but it didn't last too long, they're good friends now, to be honest you don't know if they still see each other when he's not with you. You don't really want to know either, you live better in ignorance.

"I know, it's not like Norman is forcing me either..." You defended him.

"I'm just saying don't tell him anything about how you feel. Avoid hurting yourself further." He advises you and you take his advice.

Melissa didn't talk much, she was friends with both of you, possibly Norman's confidant too, if he ever had any doubts about your fuck buddy relationship. You still seek her advice from time to time, but you've learned to hide your feelings for Norman, or at least you hope you have.

"Good morning." You hear his voice, approaching towards the scene you are all in, he is already characterized as Daryl, some dirt on his skin, hair combed flat ironed, his skin already starting to acquire some sweat due to the climate of the area and the time he has been held in the makeup trailer. Your eyes roam his whole body, the movement of his step, his arms dancing on both sides of his body, his feet stepping hard, being dragged by the weight of his own body, you have always noticed that he walks with his right foot leaning slightly inwards, a small deviation that surely no one has detected, a small flaw, although Norman is far from being a perfect man. A smile comes across your face, a chuckle escapes you and that catches your companion's attention.

"Good morning." He greets you and you nod.

"Good morning." You reply, he walks over and holds out a bottle of water in his hand. "You should keep it to yourself, you're sweating more than I am." You try to joke and watch as he smiles and bites his tongue.

"I have another one for me, here, I don't want you to faint from the heat." He insists and the cool body of the bottle touches your face giving you goosebumps.

"Thank you." You accept the bottle, when you take it your fingers brush against each other.

"Good girl." He smiles and walks away to return with the rest of the team.

You feel yourself gasping for breath, he always has that effect on you. No matter what he does, Norman always disarms you even if he only brushes against you by accident. You shake your head trying to regain your composure, drink from the bottle and focus on your work.

The shots follow one after the other throughout the day, as a group, individually, with Norman, you stop for lunch, pick up where you left off, try to record the scenes that were strange, again, and then stop once more for a bite to eat. You're done for the day, which gives you a few hours of breathing room. Lauren smiles at you in greeting as she walks over to you and sits down next to you.

"What a day." You snort, exhausted.

"Yeah, I'm not quite used to the heat." You joke and laugh with her, you're not a fan of the sun either, nor the heat.

"Luckily we're done for the day."

"Yeah, how are you, I noticed you were a little lost this morning." She asks looking at you with some concern and you feel your cheeks burning.

"Have you noticed? Last night Norman and I were together..." You tell him. "I didn't expect anyone to notice..."

"It always happens to you after you've been with him, I start to get curious about his abilities." You know she means it as a joke and to tease you, but you can't help a tug of suspicion in your stomach. Still, you have no right to. You and Norman don't have an established relationship, so you couldn't stop them if it happened.

"He's there, I'm sure if you proposed he wouldn't give it much thought." You try to play along with his joke, but your voice wavers for a second.

"And it'd make me a shitty friend, plus Norman's not my type." She shrugs. "Have things changed between you?" she ventures to ask.

"No... I remember you were the one who told me not to say anything to him." You look at her curiously. "And I actually think it's for the best... I'll have fewer headaches. If I focus on it being a sexual-only relationship, that outside of that we're just friends... I don't feel as much anxiety." You try to convince yourself, Lauren looks at you wanting to believe it too.

"I think whatever you do it's going to hurt just the same...I know that's not great advice, I'm sorry."

"I consider you a good friend because you're always honest with me, and I appreciate that. I'm not going to get my hopes up about him, but I'm going to..."

"Who aren't you going to get your hopes up about?" You hear close to where you are and your heart stops for a second.

Norman is in front of you, playing with a finished water bottle in his hands, his eyes are dwarfed from the direct sun, but he has a curious look on his face. You're cut off at the drop of a hat, but Lauren speaks for you.

"We were talking about boys." She comments and that gets the actor's attention even more. "There's a guy who wants to date her." She lies and you open your eyes wide. "I was telling her to try it, that she might like it."

"Really?" Norman's voice sounds like a squeak. "Who is it? You hadn't told me anything."

"I didn't..." You stammer, but clear your throat, trying to appear normal. "I didn't think you cared."

"It's not that... well we're friends, I thought you had confidence for that..." He tries to justify himself.

"It's just that we haven't talked much yet... we're just getting to know each other." You lie to him too, you don't even know why you're playing along with Cohan, but the grimace of doubt on Norman's face forces you to lie.

"Okay..." It's the last thing he says before he walks away, leaving you alone again.

"Can you explain what that was about?" You ask your friend.

"I think Norman has gotten used to having you whenever he feels like it, you always go along with his plan, well maybe that he thinks you're no longer as available as he wants you to be... he moves things around."

"What if he moves them for the worse? I don't want to lose what we have either."

But Lauren doesn't respond, she just shrugs, leaving you there again, as she does have some more scene to shoot with her father and future husband. You smile, you like the story they are building for her character, Maggie, there is going to be a lot of drama for her, but she is still a strong character that is growing and changing with each new season. Your character has also changed since your first scene in Atlanta. You've gone from a scary woman to a strong, feisty woman, you've been taught how to shoot and fight and the dead have become your focus, as well as protecting those you now consider your family, of course. Plus having Daryl by your side, is a moral support your character needs to keep developing, you are also going to have ups and downs with some appearances like Merle and doubts in Daryl that will make them falter a bit, but you like the subplot they are forming for the two of you. You have to admit that at first it was a little scary being Daryl Dixon's girlfriend, everyone had accepted the redneck with their arms up in the air and at first your character was just the vixen who had dropped her panties for him. There was a lot of back and forth, awkward questions at conventions and really hairy situations on the internet, but as the episodes went on people came to accept what was being created and your relationship is now well received, although there are still misgivings on some sides.

That night you prepare for a quiet dinner in your caravan. You stopped filming a few hours ago. The skies in Georgia were getting rough and at that time of year it's best not to push your luck when a storm rolls in, so you stopped all filming and returned to your caravans. In the distance you hear the storm brewing as you settle into your couch, legs propped up on the cushion as you stir the food before you start. You hear knocking on the door of your trailer and you stand still for a moment, instinctively looking at your cell phone for a message from Norman, but there is nothing. The knocking is repeated, you leave your food on the table and get up, wiping your hands before opening the door. Norman is on the other side, chewing his lip several times, he's wearing his usual clothes, but between his hands he's wringing out what looks like his character's script.

"Norman?" You look at him in confusion.

"Did I catch you busy? I can come back another time."

"N-no I was just going to grab some dinner, nothing else, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that I was going over the script between our characters and there are a couple of scenes I'd like to go over..."

"Okay... Now?" you're still a little confused, but he nods. If it's some method to get through the night with you, it's the first time he's used that tactic. It's not like he needs an excuse to show up there either, really. "It's okay, come in." You offer and leave the door open, walking back to your couch. "Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I had something to eat in my trailer before I came." He shrugs and sits down next to you.

"Good, then I'll take my diner later."

"No, finish up, I came unannounced. I don't mind waiting." He says sincerely and stands up then points to your kitchen. "Can I grab a beer?"

"Yeah, sure, help yourself." You smile picking up your plate again.

You don't like beer, its bitter taste has always been unpleasant on your tongue, but since you started with the series you always have some in the fridge for when you have company, not only from Norman, also from your friends or when you have a birthday party or when the end of the season recording is near, to celebrate that the work is almost done. You like to watch Norman move naturally and normally around your 'house' knowing every nook and cranny, where things are, where you keep them and what he can and can't touch. Again he sits down next to you taking a swig of his beer and puts a juice next to your plate. You smile and your heart flips, maybe you wouldn't really give it a thought, but it's funny how much the man seems to know you.

"What is it?" You decide to cut through the silence, focus on why he's there with you.

"The scene?" he shakes his head as you nod. "I notice they're making Daryl very..." He remains quiet, searching for the word. "Social? My intention is to make him weird and distrustful, he may have loyalty to the group, but with his wariness, like in the early seasons, but since he's had a girlfriend they're making him a cheesy guy." He explains, you get a chuckle and he smiles amused. "No offense, I love spending time with you, honey, but I'm a guy from the mountains, an alpha male, a hunter, troubled, with a shitty past. You can't melt me like that." He jokes and your laughter grows louder.

"Oh forgive me, Mr. badass for turning you human." You joke once again, his sly grin charms you and always gives you goosebumps. "What's your plan?"

"I want him to love his family, his girl, but in his own way, I want to study the script with you and see how I can fit it in without making it too weird or cold... Does that make sense?"

"Okay, we can try a few scenes and see what we get out of it."

Norman seems content with your words. He takes one more drink of his beer, you're finishing your dinner, in the distance you can hear the thunder of the storm. You've never had a problem with them, you like them, the smell of wet grass has always relaxed you, but when the lights on your trailer flicker you can't help but worry.

"There's a good storm coming." Your coworker comments and you nod.

"Looks like it... it's not like it's the first time we've had to work in pouring rain." You say and he nods.

"Worst week of my life, I don't think I've ever had so much snot." He jokes and you laugh again.

"You were still the cutest redneck on the set." You poke him and he snorts in amusement.

"I love you too, honey." He says with a teasing tinge. "Shall we practice a little?" he offers and you nod.

Because the storm seems to be getting closer and closer, you decide to stay in your trailer to rehearse dialogue, after picking up all your dinner, you look up your own manuscript of your character so you can reply to his, to create the scene between you as best you can. When Norman starts talking you realize right away what he's referring to. Daryl has taken a drastic turn with his personality, you're sure people will like that he's more approachable, that he wants to take care of his friends and the place they now want to call home, but for you it's also hard to fit in that the hunter is all the time thinking about your character or talking about her, using all those affectionate nicknames. Corny, as Norman has defined it.

"Okay, I see where your concern lies." You tell him after rehearsing a few sentences.

"Right? That's not my Daryl... I don't know if I should talk to Greg and the others..." He comments scratching the back of his neck.

"Greg always listens to you when there's something about Daryl that worries you, maybe between the two of you you can find a balance."

"I'll talk to him first thing..." He nods, a loud rumble makes you both jump. The storm is over the recording area. "Maybe I should get back before it starts raining."

"Why don't you stay?" You invite him feeling your pulse quicken. "It could be dangerous..."

"Are you afraid I might get struck by lightning?" he says amused, but you're not amused.

The weather in that part of the state at that time of year can be unstable and dangerous, it's an area of possible hurricanes, flooding from big storms and some landslides, so Norman joking about a possible lightning strike hitting you might be more possible than hitting the lottery.

"I'm just saying stay over, you can use the couch, if you want..." You insist, Norman watches you carefully, sighs and opens the door to the caravan.

"Come on, you'll see, it's just a storm." He takes your hand and you both get out of the vehicle.

You regret having followed him the second your feet touch the ground, the place starts to get wet from a very fine rain that is shaken by a wind that is getting stronger and stronger, swirling your clothes and hair. The eye of the storm is right above you, the clouds, even though it is night, look completely black, lightning appears and disappears inside them, illuminating them, a whirlpool is forming right above the film set, those huge clouds seem to be creating the eye of the hurricane and fear takes hold of you. It's not a normal storm, it doesn't even look like a storm, it's more like it wants to absorb the place, but no one else has noticed, around you everything remains impassive, your companions are sleeping in their caravans, oblivious to the strong wind and the violent movement of all the objects around you. You look at Norman, his retort about there being nothing wrong with this storm has seemed to die in his mouth, his eyes are wide open, fixed on the cumulus clouds above you. The roar of thunder takes over the whole place, you jump in place when a bolt of lightning strikes directly on the ground, bursting the grass there into several pieces, creating a tiny crater. But it's not the only one, several bolts of lightning strike the ground around you, getting closer and closer. You look at Norman and hear the roar of thunder, not far away again.

"Norman!" you shout at the top of your lungs.

You reach out, wanting to grab his arm, to pull him out of the way, but you watch, helplessly, as the lightning flashes through his body, illuminating his insides like a light bulb. It passes through him completely, the electric sensation runs through every inch of his body until it is released through his fingertips, the discharge connects with your own fingers, your hand outstretched towards him receives the impact. The scream of pain dies into nothingness, the pain is intense and runs up and down you, you feel a burning sensation envelop you. You close your eyes, your body jerks and you feel yourself being pushed backwards. Before you hit the ground. You are already unconscious.

***************

You gasp loudly, opening your eyes with a start. You sit up, rubbing your body, looking for some sign on your skin, some high degree burn due to the reach of the lightning. That it was something impossible to happen. You plan to laugh in Norman's face as soon as you....

Norman.

You remember how the lightning struck his body, how it went through him like butter, you could see how his skin glowed, how it seemed to burn inside as you reached out to pull him out of the beam's path. You get up from the ground quickly, or at least as fast as your aching body allows you, the jolt you received was also violent, although it was not a direct hit, the force was also massive. You gasp looking around you, in search of your co-worker, but at the same time you want to find out what happened to the rest of the set, as you perfectly remember the lightning striking the ground uncontrollably. The fear that someone else might have been hurt shakes you.

But nothing.

Everything is fine, in fact the sky is clear, the heat is gradually taking over your skin, you hear the rustle of the birds that dawn along with the day, the earth is not wet, the craters created by the storm, don't exist, in front of you stands the prison, you are in the front yard, where all the recording equipment should be settled. But no one is there. A whimper not far from where you are catches your attention.

"My God, Norman!" you groan, running to him, kneeling beside him and helping him up from the ground, slowly. "Slowly, slowly..." You whisper and push the dirty strands of his hair away from his face, he grunts once again.

"What the fuck happened?" he snaps painfully and you deny. You don't quite know what to say.

"Do you remember the storm last night?" you try to inquire, he seems hesitant, but then hums a yes. "I think the lightning knocked us out and..." You gasp when Norman finally lifts his head. You swallow hard and scan his face in anguish.

His neck, and part of his jaw, are scarred by a rather nasty wound, it's the trace of the lightning. Where it entered, burning his skin, the shape of his jaw, going down the left side of his neck, getting lost inside his clothes, everything is a burn, you've heard and read about similar phenomena, marks left by lightning strikes on people, creating trees of light on their skin, but this is real now, it's not an article in a magazine, Norman's skin is decorated with that burn and it hurts just looking at it.

"My God..." You whisper without taking your eyes off him.

"Fuck, what happened to you?" he asks, worried.

To you? More like the question would be, what happened to him, but before you can open your mouth, Norman twists your head carefully and touches your neck. It doesn't hurt, but when his fingers touch your skin you feel it more sensitive than usual. Then you understand that you have a similar mark to his, the lightning also went through you, so it makes sense that you both have similar tattoos.

"Does it hurt?" You hear him ask you, but you shake your head.

"It's weird... it's like the whole area is numb." You say sincerely and touch his neck. "Does it hurt you?"

"No... I think my butt hurts more from the fall." He jokes and you can't help but laugh. "Sorry..." His apology makes you look at him confused. "You tried to warn me and I didn't listen... you're hurt because of me..."

"No, no... it's not your fault, it's a miracle we're both..."

"Hey, you two, is that how you stand guard? At least find yourselves a tower like Glenn and Maggie do." You hear not too far away.

You raise your heads at the same time, Andy isn't too far from where you guys are sitting on the ground. You're relieved to see that he's okay, that the storm passed without hurting anyone else, Andy is already dressed in his Rick clothes, which makes you think that it's late, that the shooting will start shortly and you're not ready yet.

"Shit, Norman, they're going to kill us." You say getting up and helping him up.

Your eyes then notice a detail that had gone unnoticed until now. Norman is wearing his Daryl clothes, the wing vest, his baggy pants, the red bandana in the back pocket of his pants, the hiking boots and... God, is that smell coming from him? You wrinkle your nose as you take a step back. Norman seems to notice and lifts his arm to sniff his own armpit.

"Hey, it's not me... well, it kinda is, but I showered yesterday, that smell isn't me." He defends himself by shaking his head.

You look around you at the side of the fence there are several extras disguised as zombies who keep panting and pushing against the metal barrier. The smell is coming from them, a mixture of blood and rotting flesh that turns your stomach.

"I think they've gone too far with the credibility of the dead..." You protest and Norman nods.

"Come on with the others, let's get something to eat before we get to filming."

"I think we should go to the hospital and get this looked at... I don't know if it's good..." You say shaking your head.

"If you guys aren't going to do your on-call shift, at least give us a heads up so someone can cover for you." Andy says when you reach his side.

"Sorry man, give me a moment and I'll get on it now, I need to get something to eat." Norman replies walking past.

"What?" asks the Brit with a frown.

"We had an accident last night with the storm, I think we're going to talk to Greg about letting us go to the hospital." You explain to Andy who opens his eyes wide.

"Who is Greg, what hospital do you intend to go to?" There is nervousness and disbelief in his voice.

"Look, Andy, I feel like a rag right now, I'm not in the mood for jokes." Norman speaks again and you watch silently as the other man's face doesn't improve.

"You called me Andy?"

"Well, okay; I got struck by fuckin' lightnin' tonight, my body hurts like hell, I just wanna eat somethin' and then get my fuckin' wound looked at, is that okay with ya, Rick?" he says with a growl at the end of the sentence, his southern accent coming out like every time he plays Daryl and you feel your core tighten at his angry tone.

"Okay, sorry, it's just... yeah, sure, go get something to eat." Andy mumbles, feeling a little uncomfortable at his partner's pissed off tone.

You look at Andrew apologetically and walk faster behind Norman to catch up, grab his hand and tug lightly to get his attention.

"Calm down, he's not to blame."

"I know, but did you see how he was looking at us? And who's Greg, really? I'm not in the mood for bullshit right now." He admits entering the cell area.

You follow him, the damp cold of the place welcomes you, something doesn't quite fit, where are the cameras? Where is the technical equipment? Your filming partners are there, but no one else, Melissa is preparing something to eat, Lauren is with Steven talking to the side, Emily with Chandler. They all seem immersed in their roles, they look at you as you enter and there is a smile on their mouths, they all say good morning to you, Norman stands there for a moment, he too has detected something that scolds him, you can tell by the way he frowns and purses his lips.

"Good morning lovebirds, would you like something to eat?" speaks Melissa.

"Thanks, but we're going to leave the set for a moment." You speak first, leaving Norman to continue thinking about what's bothering him.

"Off the set? Are you guys going out to explore? It seems to me that Rick wanted to clean up the area some more, find the cafeteria and the infirmary..." The white-haired woman comments and you frown.

Everything seems to follow the story line of the TV series, but on the other hand there are some differences that grate on your ear, technically when your characters make their way inside the prison, you already find the cafeteria and Hershel gets hurt, but here they are just gathering strength to continue exploring inside, they haven't found the prisoners who are still alive in there... you look sideways at Norman and realize that he has also discovered that detail. Something doesn't add up and you start to worry.

"Are you all right?" Emily walks over to you. "What happened to you?" she asks as she looks at the marks on your skin.

"Lightning struck us tonight." Norman replies. "We need someone to look at us and..." He falls silent as he sees they all look at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"What, what's wrong with your voice?" asks Melissa. "Since when do you talk like a city boy?"

The blood ices in your veins. You glance sideways at Norman who he seems to be holding his breath. God, there's something seriously wrong here. Norman snorts, fed up with the whole thing.

"What the fuck's wrong with y'all?"

"Ah, no, there it is, I thought so..." Melissa comments and goes on with what she's doing.

"But..."

"Daryl." You call out to him and he looks at you confused as your hand grips his arm. "Come with me for a moment, come on." You ask him and taking his hand, you walk away from the group, towards the cell area.

"What?"

"What? don't you think there's something strange here?"

"I'm not the only one who smells barbecue?"

"Yeah, that's... what? No… do you smell barbecue? Are you having a stroke?"

"That would make more sense than what's going on here."he grunts looking over your shoulder, toward the door. "Is it just me or is everyone acting really weird?"

"Yes! That's what I was trying to tell you." You fidget nervously. "Where are the filming people? Where's Greg or Angela? What about our trailers and the whole area for the technical crew personnel?" You list, he nods, reaches into his pants and pulls out his phone. "And you're dressed like Daryl, yesterday when you came to see me you were in your normal clothes."

"You're in your character's clothes too." He points grabbing the edge of your shirt. "Oh, and look at that." He lifts the shirt a little more looking at your hip.

"Norman, I don't think now is the best time..."

"It's not that, look." He insists and you look down.

What the hell? You quickly look for a mirror to look at your reflection in, lift up your two layers of t-shirts and discover that on your side, along your ribs towards your hip bone, is a long tattoo that has only been seen on your character on a few occasions, the first at the CDC on her night with Daryl, but you don't have any tattoos. You've always liked them, but you've never settled on any. Norman slowly approaches, his fingers caressing the shape of the Yggdrasil tree roots that stray down the waistband of your pants.

"It matches your new tattoo." He whispers, brushing against the lightning mark on your neck.

"Norman...you can't be getting horny now...seriously." You scold him and he growls low.

"It's not my fault, I always liked the way this tattoo looks on you, you should get a real one." He comments in your ear, his fingers rubbing the lines of the tattoo, but it doesn't fade.

"Well, it looks pretty real to me..." You turn away from him, his excitement turns to confusion and his growing erection stops.

"What's going on?" He looks at his phone again and discover there's no signal. "Shit, the lightning must have messed up the phone."

"I don't think that's it..." You whisper and look for yours, no signal either.

"Okay, say it, surprise me with your crazy idea." He says exasperated by the whole situation.

"What if we're inside the TV series? What if we're Daryl and my character for real? Or at least they think we are? What if they're all Rick, Carol, Maggie, Glenn..."

"No, are you kidding me? No." He shakes his head. "I can't be Daryl, I have no aim, I can't track, the wildest thing I've ever done in my life was cut Eye's fingernails and he almost took my eyes out. I can stick an arrow in my own foot." He protests like a little kid and you have to bite back a laugh.

That's right, Norman is the complete opposite of Daryl, and yes, you know his cat and you love how feral he becomes when his master tries to do anything to him. Norman shoots you a pointed look, you raise your hand in peace, nodding your head.

"I'm not like my character either, I've never fired a gun and I'm certainly not as agile, nor as flexible as her, I've never fought anyone hand to hand..."

"You seem pretty flexible to me..."

"Norman!" You scold him again. "Please take it seriously!"

"I can't! This is absurd! What do you expect us to do? Pretend we're our characters and what? Fight the dead? We know what's going to happen and there's nothing pretty."

"I know that, but we have to do something!" You're quiet for a moment, thoughtful. Norman is right, you guys know what's going to happen all season, all the partners you're going to lose, the new ones coming in... the Governor.... "This is crazy..."

"I think we should wake them all up, or maybe we should wake up ourselves, it's possible that with the lightning we've gone into a coma or something."

"And we're both living the same thing? Come on."

"Maybe you're a hallucination, or maybe I'm a hallucination..." You cut off what he's saying by giving him a gentle slap. Norman looks at you with wide eyes. "What was that all about!"

"Did that hurt? Then you're not a hallucination, and neither am I. There's something very ugly going on here. And we have to find out what it is."

"How can you be so calm?"

"I'm not, Norman! But I'm trying to be rational and think something logical. I want to go home, I want to go back to our world. I don't like zombies, I don't like having to kill or watch anyone die. Have you thought about the possibility that we could die here? If one of those things bites us or if someone shoots us..."

"Shit..." he gasps as he becomes aware of that. "We have to get out of here..."

"Is everything okay?"

You both jump at the same time, in front of your cell door is Melissa, or Carol, looking at you with concern, you throat clears and shake your head.

"A-all right, Mel... Carol, thank you." You smile.

"...Rick wants you to join him to go with the group..."

"Sure, we'll be right there." You nod and the woman disappears again.

"Are you crazy? What did we just talk about?"

"If we don't go they'll get suspicious!"

"Maybe we should tell them what's going on."

"Sure, like that will solve it... We just have to pretend a little, at night we'll leave here and look for some solution, maybe with a new storm we'll be home again."

"Do you really think it will be that easy?"

No, you don't think so, but you don't know what else to think either, you sigh giving him a few gentle taps on the chest and leave the cell to join the rest of the group.  Andy or Rick, the truth makes it hard for you to call him by the name that should be his, Norman follows you a few steps behind, you notice him uncomfortable and nervous, which is good, it may seem that the prison situation is what makes him uneasy, although you know it's the situation in general, wanting to go home. Rick makes the group to go find the cafeteria, Norman, or Daryl, has to go with them and the actor tenses up like a rope, if they had to film that scene, he'd be the first to dive into the darkness of the hallway, but knowing he may not make it out of there, the fear, the caution, takes over.

"Okay, let's go." You say when Rick calls out your character's name.

"Daryl, I want you to go close to me, covering my right side." Rick continues to speak, Norman is clueless, looking around. "Daryl? Are you listening to me?" he looks at him confused, but Norman continues to ignore him.

"Daryl!" You nudge him, Norman quickly turns his head towards you.

"Shit, what? What's wrong?"

"Rick's talking to you..." You look at him intensely, Norman needs a second, but then nods and looks at the sheriff.

"Yeah, sure, sorry, it's just... I still can't believe we found this place." He apologizes to his friend and gives you a sidelong glance.

"Okay, let's get going, I want everyone on alert."

You start walking, Norman holds you for a moment and you look at him confused.

"I don't know if it's a good idea for you to go in..." He comments quietly.

"I know what you mean, but we have to follow the story line, what would happen if we don't?"

"We don't know and I'm not going to risk you to find out." he assures you, you frown slightly, surprised by his words. 

"You have a boyfriend waiting for you, don't you? It would be hard to explain it to him if something happened to you."

"Boyfriend... Norman, I don't... that thing we were talking about with Lauren, it wasn't..."

"Guys." Rick's voice catches your attention. "Don't hang back, we have to do this."

"We're coming. We'll talk later." Norman says to you, grabbing the crossbow as he usually does on the shoot.

The darkness is total, you both walk with your hearts in your mouths, you play with the advantage factor that you know what's going to happen, but that doesn't make it any less scary. At any moment a small group of dead will corner you and force you to run, Hershel will get a bite and....

"Watch out!" You hear Rick.

Here they come. Rick looks at Norman, he loads the crossbow and fires. The shot is absurd, it doesn't even hit the zombie, the sheriff's look at him makes Norman cringe. But it's not his fault, he doesn't see shit there, he's practiced with the crossbow once, but he hasn't mastered it enough to be able to use it in a situation like that. He's not Daryl. Behind you you hear Hershel's scream, you quickly grab it leading the group towards the cafeteria to continue with the scene.

It's brutal and terrifying to watch Rick's axe cut through the flesh and bone of the old man's leg, splattering blood everywhere. On set things never have that much detail, there's always computer editing, a little fake blood and it changes to something else, but that's just too much. You feel your stomach turn and you look around for a place to throw up, but Norman keeps you at his side.

"Hang in there...remember we're not alone." He whispers in your ear.

Right, the prisoners, Axel, Oscar and the others... you take a deep breath to control your nausea, Norman then releases you to hold the crossbow and point it at your spotters.

"Rick..." he calls out to his friend, though he struggles not to use his real name.

There in front of you are the small group of prisoners, shocked by what they have witnessed, you would like to say something to keep them away from the group, but Hershel is priority and you take him back to the cells, as planned in the series. Everything is much more chaotic than you expect, the screams, the fear, the blood, the sobs and the confusion of Hershel's daughters, not to mention the inmates following you, Andrew, Rick, does not let them continue to the cells where the rest try to stabilize the old man. Norman, taking his role, aims at them with the crossbow, there he has better visibility and his aim is also better. You stay close too, with your hand on your gun, although you doubt you can use it.

"What's going on?" asks Tomas, a man with long black hair.

"That's not your problem. You're free now, you can leave if you want." Rick speaks.

"Leave? As soon as we set foot out there..."

"There's nothing out there anymore." Norman replies, following his character's line. "You're in luck, guys. Your second chance..."

"How long have you guys been locked in the cafeteria?"

"There was a riot, one of the cops locked you guys in there saying he'd go get reinforcements... I guess he didn't make it." Axel speaks.

"There's no one left, we've been cleaning out the prison, it's ours now." Rick explains and Tomas bristles like a cat.

"Ours? Seems to me that's not how this works..."

"I don't care what you think, we've fought those things out there, we've spilled blood. We're not turning this place over to you." Rick assures him with a dangerous tone.

"Si de verdad crees, huevón, que nos vamos a ir con las manos vacías…" (If you really think, asshole, that we're going to walk away empty-handed…) Tomas says, defiant again.

"Te conviene hacer caso a lo que este huevón te dice, o sufrirás las consecuencias."(You'd better listen to what this asshole tells you, or you'll suffer the consequences).Norman quickly replies in mumbled Spanish.

Again, all eyes fall on the Georgia redneck's interpreter. You have your eyes widened to the max, Norman clearly still doesn't realize what he's done.

"Do you know Spanish?" asks T-Dog.

"I was living in Spain for a while." Norman replies again and then something clicks in his mind. "Shit..." He whispers.

"In Spain? What did you miss there?" the man still can't believe it, though he's not the only one.

"I, uhm... well I... we went hunting. Yes, that... we were invited to hunt..." He lies horribly, you feel like digging a hole in the ground and crawling inside, Glenn rolls his eyes.

"Like there are no animals in Georgia..." He comments shaking his head.

"Never mind, if you guys want to stay in the prison there are other blocks you can use." Rick speaks again, catching the attention of the others. "We'll split the cafeteria supplies, of what's left, we'll take half."

"Half? Are you out of your mind?"

"Half, or we can leave you on the street and keep it all, you have a choice."

Your mind disconnects from the conversation, you've already heard that dialogue several times and you know how it's going to end, unfortunately that's not the only thing you and Norman know is going to happen, when you lead the group to the cafeteria again you're going to lose Big Tiny, you remember the actor who played that character, he was kind and nice, you liked him the days you were filming those scenes, thinking that here he's going to die for real makes your eyes fill with tears.

Everything becomes a huge I want and I can't, you would love to warn the prisoner to be careful, stay close to him to help him and protect him, but no matter what you do, his fate is cast and he is wounded before you can plan it, also Tomas shoots him without giving you time to think of something, you stay in shock, looking around you. The tension, the fear, the anxiety that runs and shakes your whole body is such that you feel short of breath. You can't, that world is not made for you, seen through the cameras, feeling the team always close, seeing the funny faces of the teammates and hearing from afar "Cut" and everyone coming back to life... God how you miss all that. You wish you could open your eyes and wake up, that it was all just a bad dream.

But you can't, and Tomas' blood crashes and stains your face as Rick is unceremonious and drives the machete into his head. You gasp from the shock of the impact of the blood, but you are unable to move. Your body doesn't react.

"Are you okay?" You hear Norman's voice next to you. You have returned to the cells, thinking about what you are going to do with Axel and Oscar. You are sitting on the front steps, Norman is carrying a bucket of water and wiping the remains of the blood from your face. "Hey, talk to me."

"I want to go home..." You whisper with a blank stare.

"I know, and we're going home, remember? You said so..." He tries to cheer you up by wiping the traces of blood off your cheek.

"What if we don't make it, what if we die here? Or this is our world now, there's no turning back, I don't know how to fight, I don't know how to shoot... and you..."

"Hey, hey, breathe, calm down." He holds your face in his hands. "No, okay? No. We'll get through this, we'll go home, everything will go on as usual. There's got to be an explanation why we're here..."

"Someone hates us?"

"And has theh done voodoo on us? It's very possible, but I am a beautiful person, I have no enemies." He jokes and a small giggle escapes you, he smiles at the sight of you laughing, strokes the tip of your nose and leans in, kissing the top of your head. "You can't leave me alone in this, honey, I need you." He confesses to you and you feel your heart race.

"O-okay... I'm sorry I got like this..."

"Come here." He whispers hugging you tightly.

You love it when Norman does that, you've always felt protected in his arms, you sigh and feel the anxiety and nerves subside a little, though they're still under your skin, alert.

"Norman..."

"Yes, babygirl?"

"You still smell terrible..." You comment and hear him laugh, breaking the hug.

"It's not my fault, it's part of the character."

"You've never smelled like that, you always smell like..." You see his smile grow wider and your cheeks redden, without realizing it you've given too much detail at best.

"Guys, let's step up the guards." Rick walks over to you and you're thankful the mood lightens. "Now that we've got Oscar and Axel hanging around, I don't want them coming anywhere near our ward, and until Hershel wakes up..."

"Sure, count on it." You nod your head.

"Are you okay?" the Sheriff asks you and you nod.

"Worried about Hershel, nothing more." You try to reassure him.

You all meet for dinner, Hershel is still unchanged in his condition, Carl has found the infirmary, Lori has gone ballistic, but everyone is relieved that they can take care of the man properly, you think about the infirmary, the library down the block too, maybe you could take a look there, look for a clue in the books about what has happened to you. You know it's crazy, but maybe there is some similar phenomenon that can help you. At dinner you don't talk too much, with the new provisions your stomachs are full, although you and Norman weren't as hungry as the rest. That night Maggie and Glenn offer to stand guard for you, the rest of you divide up your chores for the next day and go to your cells. You sit on your bunk and it feels hard and cold, colder than you remember, you hear footsteps and raise your head, Norman is at the door, watching you.

"Is something wrong?" You look at him worriedly, but he shakes his head, stepping into the cell.

"We're supposed to be our characters... who are boyfriend and girlfriend..."

"Norman... I really don't feel like sex today..." The anxiety is too strong in your body to think of anything else.

"I didn't... I didn't mean that, although I wouldn't say no, if you feel like a quick fuck..."

"Norman..."

"Okay, what I mean, is that... if we're boyfriend and girlfriend, it would look weird if we didn't share a cell, you know, like in the show..." He looks at you, raising his eyebrows, trying to sound coherent. 

"Oh, that..." You look thoughtful as he sits down next to you, watching you silently.

"We can put the mattresses on the floor, so we can both sleep better, I promise I don't snore... at least not much." He jokes with the last part and you let out a chuckle.

"You're an idiot, but I think it's a good idea..." You nod.

Between the two of you arrange the room for the two of you, you cross the mattresses and then place the sheets on top, it's not cold but the damp prison environment makes a thin sheet nice to sleep on at night. You hesitate, you are nervous, after so much insisting, you are finally going to have Norman sleeping with you, you would like it to be in a completely different situation, but you plan to take advantage of it. You sit on the edge to take off your boots, putting them aside. Norman mimics you by sitting on the other side, he sheds his clothes and you watch him.

"Shit..." You whisper and reach out.

His scars, Daryl's scars, are there too, even the mark left by the arrow he put in himself, never seen again in the series, but Norman's body retains it. It's all so real.

"What's wrong?" he looks at you worriedly.

"It's the scars..."

"That too? I think someone hates me." He snorts in annoyance. You can't contain yourself and kiss the marks on his shoulder blade, Norman hums at the sensation. "If you don't want sex, don't provoke me...I'm an easy man."

"Sorry." You let out a giggle and settle back on your side of the bed.

You feel Norman do the same, the two of you lying on your backs, staring at the prison ceiling. Maybe it's all a dream. Maybe it will all be over tomorrow. Maybe you'll close your eyes and when you open them again you'll be home.

Maybe...

In the distance, a storm forms, thunder and lightning envelop the area, the black clouds have an unnatural greenish glow. Neither of you are aware of its existence, sleep has won you over and you are rocked in deep dreams.

.

.

To be continued...

.

See you in the next stories!

Taglist: @minervadashwood @green-eyedladywrites @livingdeadblondequeen @phoenixblack89

[thasorns-moved]

tag game ✨

I got tagged a long time ago by a mutual who went private... it's friday night and look at that I HAVE some time to do it :)

1. why did you choose your url?

just look at Emi and then we can talk again. Have you seen her? <3

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

juhotonin - is a kpop blog (even though I neglected it a bit)

alexreggies - yes, sometimes I reblog different things on this (thasorns) blog but this one is specifically for western things

kaiosmichiru - anime

I have another one where I only post gifs but never told anyone about it

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

probably since 2009. I used to have another blog but moved to my current one in 2012

4. do you have a queue tag?

used to have # queue to my life, # queueing things bc its quarantine things but now I'm just using q. bc I’ve become lazy

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

before this blog I was a dedicated fanblog about marko marin and sideblog was very multifandom and then I moved and stayed multifandom 

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

buttercup is THE mvp

7. why did you choose your header?

a tale of thousand stars do I need to say more (if you didn't watched it, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

this, mind that I was a beginner in gif making and you can see that in this 

9. how many mutuals do you have?

maybe I forgot one or two but the last count was 79 love you all 💕

10. how many followers do you have?

 more than i would expect and deserve but I appreciate every each one of you 🥰

11. how many people do you follow?

I'm surprised that after 12 years I don't follow more but I also go on a unfollow spree sometime anyway it's 372 people

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

no. don't think so. I used to say a lot about shows I watch. does this count as a shitpost? Idk

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

is that really a question? like? every day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no i'm staying in my bubble and be happy

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

i dont do it to be oppositional 

16. do you like tag games?

even though I try to participate as much as I can and not forgot about it I'll do it because they're fun and it's nice to see other perspectives or opinions on things

17. do you like ask games?

I rarely do it because I think no one would send me asks

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first which comes to mind is sabrina @moonkhao

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

what does crush even mean?

claire @clairedaring @poomphuripan is such a cutie. The way she does so much for the msi community but at the same time highlights other lakorns and find the strength and time to gif it, so other ppl on here could watch it. always so nice and patient ❤️

an honorable mention: cata @kittychicha because I would've never thought that we would become friends and talk on a regular basis about everything and it is fun and lovely to talk with you and get to know you 🧡

Another honorable mention would be vish @morkofday because have you met her? Her mind is already enough. The way she thinks and sees things in perspectives - a reason to fall in love. Not even joking. Our dead friend forever days were precious for me 💕

20. tags?

@morkofday @itsallaboutbl @clairedaring @pondsphuwin @patchanons @milkpansa @kittychicha @jimmysea @loveisactivated

[moonlit-dreamers]

Name all your favourite TSAMS ships

fuuucckk dude

this is like asking someone which pet is their favorite you cant do this to me man ;-;

but i might as well talk about some specific ships that ive been rotating around in my brain more recently tho fair warning that a lot of these will have more abusive themes (tho i'll try to be as brief as possible since i dont want this post to go on forever lol)

off to a great start with sunvant/lord eclipse. ik a lot of ppl like to make them fluffy but they got so much toxic potential. like idk man. the power imbalance + lord eclipse being both physically and emotionally abusive is some good shit. sunvant is absolutely and purely devoted to him. nothing eclipse could do would change that. every punishment is a lesson. every reward is a blessing. every command is a job he does happily. yes, hes absolutely terrified of his lord, but isnt everyone? isnt everyone meant to be scared of their god? if he isnt scared then is he really appreciating his lords true beauty and raw power? idk man. some good shit right there

the obvious sun/eclipse. i can never escape them in any form. main dimension sun/eclipse, dark sun/eclipse, sunbeam (eaps sun)/eclipse, sunvant/eclipse. all of the above pls. but if we're going with MAIN dimension suneclipse their relationship could be sooo many things. (which is y i like the ship so much bc its so versatile!) it could be a fixer-upper, abusive, friends/enemies with benefits, you name it. anything and everything is possible with these 2 bitches and its wonderful

sun/solar is actually the first thing i shipped. even BEFORE sun/eclipse. shocking, ik, but i felt like they had sooooo much potential THAT NOBODY FUCKING SAW. like- an emotionally broken down mechanic who feels guilty over the death of his own sun and an anxious mess that just wants to make things better. how could it be any more perfect??? solar coping over his suns death with sun by accepting that hes gone but at least he has another to love and he wont be empty forever. AUGH

solar/eclipse. im fucking rabid over these 2. like idk man. i feel like theyd be so weird about potentially liking someone whos like a distorted reflection of themself. projecting their own self loathing onto each other then realizing just how similar they actually are and how it.. might actually not be that bad. then learning to love themselves by loving the flaws of the other and accepting who they are now. idk man. this is just wholesome thoughts tho dont think for a second i dont have toxic thoughts about them lol

sun/solar/eclipse (are you noticing a pattern yet?) is THE polycule. idc what you say, theyre all kissing each other. fuck you (/silly)

this is for my own au becuzzzz i wont let go of a chance to talk about them :3 we got sunshine(sunvant)/solstice(eclipse) and they are an absolute WRECK. theyre both fucked over by their past and the beginnings of their relationship is so rocky bc sunshine doesnt trust anyone + doesnt understand nor believe he deserves affection (hes also constantly wanting to go back to lord eclipse). meanwhile solstice doesnt even see sunshine as a person and rather as a project to work on (and also an opportunity to maybe better himself. maybe if he can help someone then that means he can be a better person). solar comes in later and while i havent Completely thought about their dynamics i will say that both solar and solstice are very overprotective of sunshine. they both constantly butt heads bc they both want to protect him while sunshine just sits in a corner head in hands trying to figure out how to get them to stop without having his own panic attack (they get better tho dw <3)

anyway uhhhhh i think thats all for now lol

have fun with this info ig