#idk how i'd even want to write it myself much less someone else

[thatsveryvortex]

Writing Tools for Planning Your Story

I've tried tons of writing apps and sites, so you don't have to. Here's a list of free sites to plot out your novel, with my review and some images of how I use it.

Milanote

Milanote is like having a giant pinboard with folders. You can upload anything onto it [yes even your main doc] and then draw over it or connect things with lines and arrows

Milanote lets you add up to a hundred things for free, not including drawing. This is one of the downsides of the site as I've found myself reaching that limit recently.

For me, the best part is being able to draw over stuff, and the color swatches.

Milanote is a lot less structured than other sites I've used, and personally, I don't think their templates are worth using.

8/10 overall, Milanote is what I mainly use. Here are some pics of how I use it:

Miro

Miro is a flowchart website mainly used for corporate jobs, however, it can be a great plotting tool for that reason

Miro has a lot of great starter templates if you are looking for a more structured freeform experience. It also comes with a blank page as well.

Unfortunately, I'd argue that it's a bit of a hard tool for beginners to use without a template, I've learned copy-paste is my best friend with Miro the hard way.

It's much better than most platforms at making timelines though.

It has a limit of three boards which is a bit disappointing but overall, I think it's worth the try.

5/10 Miro is very middle of the road for me due to the limited ability to customize things and the free limit. Here are some pics:

[I wrote that part weeks ago, I am now fully using Miro and believe it's the best for making timelines and charts, I just wish it let me make more boards 8/10]

Hiveword

This might be someone's jam, I can't really say it's mine though.

First off, the unpaid version is really just a few boxes saying "Write a summary here." which makes it just not worth it in my opinion

There really isn't any way to customise things which is my favorite part of most of these softwares

I've barely used this, so maybe there's something I'm missing but

1/10, Just use Google Docs at this point, here's a couple pics

World Anvil

People like this software, it's mainly used for tabletop, which is just a different way of writing adventure, and I've seen it recommended by authors.

Unfortunately, I'm going to disagree with a lot of people and say it's hard to use and isn't even really good at plotting.

I may be biased on this one as every time I've tried to use it in the past I've struggled. However, it seems like another just write it in a document and create a folder.

I'd say it's closer to an organizing tool, but even then just use something else.

3/10, I have nothing to say about it but maybe you'll enjoy it, all here are two photos

Campfire

This is the one I think I've heard the most about, but have never actually tried.

right off the bat, I'm going to say this is 100% worth it, you'll see at the end with the photos but this is like if Miro and World Anvil had an organization baby.

It's extremely easy to understand, and it makes timelines, it's more for writing your whole book but idk about that yet.

7/10, its themes are really pretty but it limits how much you can do to 20 I believe. Here are the photos

That's all for now, honestly, I think you should use Miro if you are looking to plot things out, and Milanote if you want to collect and organize your thoughts for writing, as that's what I do. Obviously what I like won't be for everyone, but hopefully, this helped you see some options

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm very late to the party it seems, because only after getting more weird asks than usual, and a few explicitly naming the bloggers involved did I learn today of the ugliness that went down a short while ago. Storm has already said her bit and I respect her choice to quietly step back so this isn't me resurrecting a dead horse to bludgeon. I'm writing this because I've been on the receiving end of this sort of campaign before, have seen it play out too many times with the same types of people, and because I want it on record somewhere that I don't know anybody here personally (a conscious choice) but that all my dealings with Storm showed her to be a forthright and thorough person. And even if she wasn't, that wouldn't excuse any of this bullshit.

Normally if this were a private matter I'd keep my opinion to myself after all I don't know any of you. But the moment anybody brings this shit into the public then anybody gets to have a go at it. We've all seen these sorts of takedown posts before, and I'm not always opposed to them because sometimes they're for good reason. If someone is actually racist, or idk a serial killer, it's good for the public to know that shit. Differing opinions on jikook being real, someone cussing you out, or blocking liberally do not meet that threshold for me, but everyone's different.

When I see these takedowns happen, including when it happened to me, I've observed it usually involves HCP personalities in this blogging space that take certain actions extremely personally and nurse grievances until it festers into fuel for drama that they gratify in because in their heads they believe they’ve been scorned and therefore are right. They usually think in a very tribal sense, rope other people in and force people into camps of friend, neutrals, and foe, and wear their egos on their sleeves.

In my case, I'd only been blogging here actively for less than 5 months before a pair of bloggers and their followers accused me of feuding with them, using them for clout, and that my opinions on my blog somehow prevented them from running their own blog and speaking freely. They'd been nursing that grievance for months with the followers who felt as they did, while I was oblivious, blogging with abandon so to speak, even interacting with them, until the call-out post. And my followers had been receiving messages about how much of a horrible bitch I am (I mean, I can be a bitch but hadn't been to anyone here at that point).

Thankfully I hadn't been blogging for long so most people could go through my blog to read what I actually think, see how I actually engage, and decide for themselves if anything those bloggers said made any sense. Storm has a longer blogging history and the campaign against her more widespread since she was very active in jikook spaces, plus she legit needs a break so I get why she's decided to take one now. I still get weird asks from people who claim to be devoted to those bloggers and that shit, that behaviour, that mentality is ugly. The point here is too many people take shit personally and then try to make it everyone's problem. Some HCP people can't help it if they have those sorts of personalities, but that doesn't excuse it. Seeing shit like this just kills the vibe for anyone who doesn't get high off that nonsense, and it further frays whatever community people are trying to build here. I usually keep my distance but I admire the people who have tried, even if only in public, to connect with people here and build community. Not everyone has to like everyone else, but there's enough abuse and BS to jokers from outside the community and fandom, for anyone to think their momentary satisfaction is worth poisoning this space, or character assassinating someone else.

Apparently anyone who has voiced support for Storm, has themselves become a target, and that in itself should tell you how weird this all is lmao.

For the people flooding my inbox who think we're in kindergarten and I should declare where my loyalties lie, get a fucking grip. If you have a problem with my arguments or views, I'm always happy to engage on that basis. But if you think me liking Storm and interacting with her posts is reason enough for you to act a fool in my inbox, you must be high out of your goddamn mind. Take my advice and block me because nobody here has time for all that. Vous pouvez vous attendre à être complètement ignoré par moi à partir de ce moment. J'ai entendu dire que le sexe anal peut soulager la pression sur la tête, vous pouvez l'essayer et me dire si cela fonctionne. Ça, je le posterai sur le blog. Tout le reste sera supprimé.

Borahae. 💜

[ilaosi]

weird question, but since ur a zombie I need some help!

okay, so I'm writing about zombies and such and the actual physical symptoms of zombism are like vague. super vague.

I was wondering what your experience was?

idk wikipedia and all them are uselessssss, and I thought asking a zombie would just be easier than going and looking for 16th century whatevers.

so, if you don't mind what was it like? what sorts of symptoms did you have?

anyway thank you for reading your awesome!!!

omg hi im a bit late but this ask makes me so happy i love talking abt this stuff !!! :D i'd like to preface by saying i experience my kintypes in a way that sounds a lot like a past life but i don't consider that to be the case, i believe my memories are from some version of me in other universes/realities.

soo my response might not be the most helpful because i don't think i experience zombism in the way most ppl think of it? i wasn't infected or anything, i died a (somewhat) natural death & the next thing i knew i was kind of unknowingly digging myself out of my grave. i don't know how or why i was resurrected, if someone else did it, if i did it myself, if it was some kind of divine intervention, no clue. in the world i remember, zombies were a known phenomenon that hadn't yet been explained by science.

living people reacted to us in a lot of different ways, some kind of worshiped us and treated us like we were chosen by the gods or otherwise special, but most just thought it was weird/gross and tried to avoid us. a few ppl wanted to get rid of us because it was "unnatural and contagious" (it couldn't actually be transmitted like a disease, in my world at least), there was even a group of ppl who denied our existence entirely. it was also pretty common for medical students to (consensually, most of the time) practice their skills on zombies, kind of like they do in this world with corpses, but we were more convenient because it was really hard to kill us and we didn't really experience much pain, plus we could heal (to an extent), and we were pretty much immune to infection & other complications/side effects. i think it was also a way of gathering information for research since there wasn't much known about us or how/why we existed.

as for the symptoms & what it felt like - i remember when i first crawled out of the dirt the main thing i noticed was that my body was completely still. my heart didn't beat, the blood didn't flow in my veins, i didn't particularly feel the need to breathe or blink. i was just as disabled in that world as i am in this one, but after i died some of my disabilities didn't really affect me anymore. i wasn't in horrible pain in the way i usually am, i just felt like all of my skin was slightly bruised and there was a dull ache all over my body but it was easy to ignore, and my bones felt,, empty? my brainfog/dissociation got a lot worse though. all of my senses felt much more dull but i definitely still had them. it took more pressure for me to feel things touching my skin, my vision was cloudy and less colorful, i couldn't really smell or taste most things other than meat, blood, decay, dirt, mildew, etc. other smells/tastes would have to be really strong/intense for me to pick up on it at all. i was dead for about 3? days before i emerged, and i was buried in winter, so decomposition hadn't totally taken over yet. i did continue to decompose after that, but eventually i figured out that keeping myself fed (primarily with non-human brain matter & insects) would stop that process and sometimes even reverse the effects of it to an extent. if i went too long without feeding or if i fed on the wrong things too often i would feel really sick and my skin would get even more flaky. sometimes huge chunks of skin or even small body parts would fall off, but they could be successfully reattached by any doctor who was willing to work with zombies.

visually/appearance wise - i was more pale and my skin had a kind of light-grey-green-ish tint to it. the parts of me that fell off and had to be reattached ended up looking more purple-pink-ish for a while, but usually they'd go back to the grey-green color eventually. the whites of my eyes were more blue & my irises were dark grey. my veins were more visible through my skin and they were a lot darker, almost black. my natural hair color is brown and before i died i had my hair dyed black, afterwards the color just never faded and my hair didn't grow anymore so it didn't change much, but the areas where my roots were showing turned grey.

i can't rly think of any other specific things to talk about but if u have more questions or if u want more clarification on something i said here feel free to send another ask!!!

[hazbinshusk]

I have a question- I admire your work, like-, fangirl type of admiring, and you were one of the reasons why I started writing -first headcannon, chains and tears was inspired by some of your writing (some others too, like irl but mostly yours and theirs), but HOW, how can you write everyday/almost everyday?? Like, life, writing block, just- HOW?? Are you a goddess or something? Because damn I’ve tried but I can’t- anyways, I freaking LOVE your work!! Keep going, you’re a bigggg inspiration

okay, first of all, you're gonna make me cry being this sweet to me <3. The idea that I'm actually inspiring someone else's writing? godly. seriously, thank you soooo much!

but I'm here to tell you right now, I don't write everyday. I wish I could, I really do, but I don't have it in me. What I do for work is so mentally and emotionally draining that honestly, most days I get home and I can't even think of writing. I'll turn my laptop on, and I'm lucky if I get a sentence out before I'm doomscrolling because that's all my brain can handle. I don't even have the energy to answer asks most days.

I do try to write as often as possible, but I end up doing the bulk of my writing on weekends. On a really good day, with the right inspiration, I can write a good few thousand words in a day, which probably isn't a lot, but by the end of the weekend I can have 2 or 3 fics ready to publish (more if they're shorter). Then I set them up in my drafts so I can post them throughout the week.

honestly, I think a lot of that comes down to the support and love I'm getting from a new fandom too. I used to (and want to get back to eventually) write mcu x reader fics and I was so burnt out on them because I would get so little in the way of interaction outside of kudos on ao3 or I would get so few reblogs that fics I'd spent hours if not days on would end up with less than 100 notes. And that sucked, because it felt like I was just throwing this writing I worked so hard on into a void. And I wrote a lot of fics, so maybe people were just expecting them to keeep coming without the positive feedback? idk. I know I'm not entitled to feedback, but it makes it really hard to write without it.

like, I have over 11,000 followers on my main blog (and sure, a lot of them might be following for other fandoms, or haven't been logged into for a while) but I get more asks and interactions on this blog in a day than I do on that one in a month.

so, the support has been a big thing for me, but trust me, I'm not writing every day. honestly, I'm punishing myself for not writing as often as I want. but go it at your own pace because if we burn out we just end up hating that we're not creating. I try to combat that by temporarily ignoring requests and writing my own ideas, but it can still be a lot. my fic count for this month has gone down considerably.

trust me, I'm a mess, but we can still write when we have the time/energy and that's good enough :)

[popcultr]

RESPOND TO THE FOLLOWING PROMPTS OOC , THEN TAG OTHERS YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER.

tagged by: @everseens (thank you lovely!!) tagging: @angelsdvsts / @testdrves / @luriddaze / @saudadexmses (and anyone else who wants to do this!)

roleplayer name: corrie (yes, that's my real name, not a nickname)

roleplayer pronouns: she/her

preferred communication: drop me an im on here! or a message on discord, if you have it.

experience: oh wowieeee, i think like most people on this site, i started rping around 2013(ish), i'd been in the "anon world" beforehand idk if anyone remembers that. then i randomly stumbled into the rp world and that was it, i was sold, i started in groups and rping irl celebs bc that was what was in fashion at the time (gross, i know). i've written in both groups and indie rp for some years, but rn i'm only doing indie, as i find it so much easier, a lot less pressure!!!!

preferred roleplay type: i'm a big fan of paras!! i don't mind, long or short!! i just like hearing about how both our characters are thinking / feeling etc, world building, give it to me!!

pet peeves & dealbreakers: omg, i've got a few bc i've been in the rp world for a long time!! first off, people who still treat tumblr rp like it's their job, bestie, it's okay, take some time off, we are all nearly 30 here, this is a hobby for all of us. secondly, people that bug you about replies, unless i have messaged u and said "hey i've lost ur post or something along those lines" 99% of the time its in my drafts & i'm going to reply to it. thirdly, idk, this is group rp related but i hate activity checks, one of the main reasons i moved over to indie properly bc i found myself getting so stressed about not being able to get online & that i might be on the activity check?? so stupid. lastly, when people don't give me much back in a reply & it's like drawing blood out of stone trying to reply, one time, someone said they didn't want to reply 2 my reply, bc i'd "written too much background" or something, like wtf asdfghj...like i had to explain why my character would be at this random location </3

plots or memes: both are fun!! but i think i do prefer plotting & discussing things with my writing partners. also u can headcanon when u plot, i love it xx

best time to write: oooh, for me, personally i like to write in the evenings!! as it's something that i like to do relax & chill out, so it makes sense. idk if this makes sense, i do prefer to write on the weekends, bc i have a bit more time to put into my replies <3

are you like your muse?: no, i'm definitely not like my current muses!! i did write a dyspraxic muse in the past (i have dyspraxia), but that didn't work out bc people didn't really get it lol.

[felixwaffling]

Totally different vibe but I'm gay and thinking so much about him. This post might get nsfw, folks.

I'm smitten. Sure we have our problems, I mean, of course we do, he's dating ME- But FUCK, man. It's like how I felt with Alex except Victor is a good person who actually loves me. He's way stronger than me, which makes me SHAKE bro. He could hurt me if he wanted to, but he's so nice. He calls me things that have me on my fucking knees.

Like. Hooooly shit I can't wait til I get a chance to meet him in person bc when I say I'm gonna do whatever he wants... I MEAN WHATEVER. Like. I will be incapable of saying no. I will be pathetic.

Imagine if we meet in a bar and I get super drunk and kiss him dude that- HGJDHDBFHFHD.

I want him. I want him ON ME. I legit- like. I'm acespec, sex repulses me, the thought of being touched is so scary, but like I'd let him be all over me if he actually wanted me. I'd let him do ANYTHING.

I am so fucking attracted to this guy, and we have so much in common that some days we do nothing but play video games for literally the whole day together... We play almost every night and he puts up with my drunk nonsense, he doesn't complain <333

I wish I could tell him about the shit I'm into bc the only way this could get better is if I get proper dominated man I'm- I'm weak, I'm small, I like hiding behind people and letting them make all the decisions. I'm a dog for this man. I'm property.

FUCK I am drunk rn and if any of my friends find this I'm going to be humiliated beyond belief, they don't-

Nobody knows how much I want this man to fuck me and it weighs heavy, like, I don't even think he knows how I'd kill for him to both absolutely wreck me AND baby me.

Bc on one hand. I'm a little baby. I'm pure. I'm innocent. Treat me like a little goober and hold me and. IDK FUCK MAYBE I JUST HAVE DADDY ISSUES BC I THINK IM ASKING FOR A DILF-

... but on the other hand, I'm a bad person, I'm the worst, I'm whatever villain you need me to be just PLEASE put me in my fucking place I *WANT* you to punish me I'm like literally asking for it, I'm doing shit that gets on ur nerves bc I wanna be RAILED man I WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING IF YOUD JUST SLAM ME AGAINST THE WALL AND BREAK ME WHEN IM A LITTLE BITCH

HhHh.

I still can't believe I'm saying all this shit

I'm beyond wasted. Like. Intoxicated moreso than usual. Typing this so far has taken an HOUR and I got sad halfway through out of humiliation and went to write that first post. But even through all the drinking, all I can really think about is being pinned to his bed 👉👈,,,

,,, it's not just sex either bc I want kisses. Neck kisses. Like. Damn. I want him to hold me from behind. I want to cling to him. Hide my face against him. If he touched my face I would do the fucking meme thing and refuse to let go of his hand. I want to snuggle against him and just. Disappear for a while.

.... I want to cry myself to sleep in *his arms* instead of on my own. I hug my pillows and try desperately to pretend they're him. I see him when I fall asleep, when I'm alone, when I'm sad... when I'm fucking suicidal the thing that stops me is that then I'd have to wait who KNOWS how long for him to live out his own life, and that I might have to watch him fall in love with someone else (the worst thing ever)

If. If I ever lost him idk what I'd do because fuck dude. He's everything. Victor is my world. I want to meet him.

.... I also want him to control every aspect of my life and tell me what to do bc without guidance I drown. Ppl might think it'd be toxic, but I think I need that in my life. I hate making decisions. I want to sit quietly and let him think, bc I'm bad at thinking, and thinking overwhelms me. I want him to hide me behind him and be the one to handle the world so that I can just be *his.*

UGH. THIS IS THE HORNIEST, SAPPIEST FUCKING POST IVE EVER MADE EVER.

[chikoyama]

Shipping Info | Answer the following for your muses so people know how shipping works on your blog

What is your OTP for your character(s)?

Man, I don’t know. If Chiyori can get someone who cares as much about her as she cares about them, then I’m good. If she’s in a relationship where she’s wanted rather than needed, then that's absolute gold for me. ✨

Even in a soulmate au I made her soulmateless specifically for that purpose. Also, because I wanted Chiyori to discover that no one is more perfect for her than herself, but I'm not sure if she's insightful enough to realize that, lmao. Aaah, and the pain too. I also decided for her to be soulmateless because I don’t understand the concept of soulmates, lmfao. (Not anymore at least).

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

To me personally, as long as both parties are in similar stages of physical matureness I won’t care too much, I think? It's fiction after all. Like, someone at the age of 50 with someone at the age 18, I don’t mind too much, because they’re both likely to be past puberty. Both would be in their fully-developed adult bodies. (These talks always remind me of Leonardo DiCaprio’s relationships, lmfao).

However, someone above age 16 with someone at the age of 10 is when I feel things would get kind of weird? Because it’s extremely likely that the 10-year-old hasn’t even hit puberty yet. Don’t bash me for it, but I’d love to witness a well-written dynamic like that. One would have to have the balls to publish something like that, and be a genius too for crafting a dynamic like that that works. Honestly, I think it could make sense in more of a coming-of-age story! Anything else would be creepy, but maybe I’m just too close-minded to be able to imagine otherwise.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they are considered NSFT?

When specific private body parts are mentioned.

Are you selective when shipping?

Uh, yeah.

Who are other characters you ship your character with?

I don't think it's so much if I personally ship it, more than it is about if Chiyori likes the other character. So far, she likes Lee's Suguru (@cvrseduser) (whilst still teenagers, but it's not reciprocated), and Val's Yuuta (@2xcursekissed).

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Nah, you do you, babe. If it means something to you, don’t let me take that away from you. Be fierce, be mad, be unapologetic. If anything, I’d love to hear why it speaks to you personally!

Are you ship-obsessed or ship more-or-less?

So, the thing is I want to be ship-obsessed, but I’m not, which is sad for meeeee. I genuinely want to experience being in that sort of high, lmfao. Though, that's my problem to deal with, but maybe I just have to find the right partner(s). 🤔

Idk what ship more-or-less means?

What is your favourite ship in your current fandom?

Eeeeh… *thinks hard* Idk… I think every ship is cute per se. It sounds harsh, but these ships don’t mean anything to me personally, because I don't write canon characters, so it’s hard for me to be truly biased. Though, if I wrote cc x cc, maybe I'd fall as deeply into these rabbit holes as everyone else, lmao.

My philosophy on these matters are: As long as it makes you happy, and you let me do me, everything is good!

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Uh, just ask me to ship, I think? — Easier said than done, right? Be engaged, share your thoughts and ideas, send things that remind you of them. Of course, there needs to be a similar level of respect and admiration from both parties. Though, generally speaking I'm very cooperative and reciprocative.

The amount of times I've put more effort into projects (not just in terms of writing) than my partners is depressing. So, I've come to the conclusion that my energy is better spent elsewhere unless someone shows proper enthusiasm about it. I respect myself way too much to put myself through that. I refuse to be dragging a dead body through the mud.

Tagged by: @vartouhix (thanks for the tag, babe! 💕)

Tagging: @ak4rin, @opalchoi, @gyofukuki, @trelonkan, @nvictive

[neonjawbone]

So, out of curiosity: as someone who's got a long-running web comic AND who's got a novel coming as well, have you found that your process for writing each are very different?

Are there things that are the same?

Did you find one easier than the other?

Did the type of media you were making influence the genre you chose to work with?

Sorry, just super curious since I haven't seen anyone do both before!

ooh!! I love this question!

Yes, I'd say, the process is very different! I've said this to a couple friends so far, but working in prose has been like reuniting with an old friend. Pretty common story, but I was a huge reader until sometime in college (around the time i got on social media and my adhd really took a nosedive), so actually writing (and by extension, trying to get back into reading) has been REALLY fun and interesting. My process for storytelling itself is really similar, but writing for comics can leave a lot up to the visuals. What the backgrounds look like, expressions and character acting, these are things i tend to leave to myself on the page. When you rely on them overmuch in prose, what you get is a kind of boring slog. Working in prose has lead me to try and write not how things *look* (as is my instinct coming from comics) but how they *feel*.

Furthermore, prose is such a different game. Idk how else to put it. The act of writing is so uniquely vulnerable, and while theres things I miss from comics (expressions being wayyyy up there) theres also so much cool shit you can only do in prose. Stuff like really getting into characters interiority, and through multiple pov characters painting different pictures of the world and your cast.

Prose is easier, bar none (okay, this is kind of incendiary) what I mean is, prose is less labor intensive. The act of creating/storytelling/art is still WORK. No matter how you're doing it. And certainly, sometimes I'll beat my head trying to convey something in prose that isn't like, boring. But I can bang out 1k-5k words in a day without aggravating my RSIs, it is not draining in the way that comics are, simply put, yeah. It's physically easier to type words (for me) than it is to draw a comic.

Example: Though I started work on my novel, OTAS, about a year and a half ago, maybe only 6-7 months were spent writing with any regularity (and even on writing days I was still able to do many other things!). The graphic novel I worked on, TPATPG (out in AUGUST!!) took two years of near constant, daily work which allotted a majority of my drawing energy..

Now, I don't think my influences have really changed so much, BUT I made a conscious effort to read prose books with more regularity since starting to incorporate fiction writing. I think it's very important to take in the media you want to work in!!

In conclusion, working in prose has been really fun, and I'm excited to do more of it!

[higurehige]

hi hello. been 5000 years since I have been tagged in much. uwu thank you @spadefish in return i slaaap uuuuh @duskdragonxiii @etakeh @vampiremasochist annnd @ponyacci (chose 2 of these based on activity feed but still important non-the-less! I hope you guys are all well even if we are but strangers in this wide blue world. Obvs feel free to ignore if you want to)

1. Are you named after anyone? A country singer. Course no one really thinks of her when they hear my name.

2. When was the last time you cried? Hrmmmm. Iunno probably 2 months ago over cirque du freak book series. I cry over books a lot.

3. Do you have kids? I am the kid. Do the 9 cats in my house count? On a serious note - no and I don't plan to. I have far too many problems and raising a kid would just wind up with me placing at least HALF of those problems on them. No. This curse ends with me. I don't think I'd even feel comfortable helping raise someone elses kid if we were in a relationship.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? I picked up archery recently! That's cool. I don't go as often as I should bc it's a bit expensive...but...yea! Archerys cool. Working on learning both recurve and compound. recurve for funsies and compound for hunting. (I just want an excuse to go sit out in the woods for hours on end doing fuck all and maybe, possibly bringing home some meat too)

5. Do you use sarcasm? Not often. I'm pretty blunt and no matter how hard I try to control myself I end up sounding like that one guy from guardians of the galaxy "Nothing goes over my head. I would catch it"

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? -shrug- Their face? I guess? Or whatever color they're wearing. Maybe their shoes. Idk...I'm terrible at facial recognition so I go ape trying to compensate for this.

7. What's your eye color? Green

8. Scary movies or happy endings? (both good but probably horror lean)

9. Any talents? Depends what you count as a talent. Born with? Insane observational skills? Uh I can eat actual rotten and moldy food and not get sick? Uuuuuuh. Hmmm....I can dilate my pupils at will? I can bend my legs freaky directions but not freaky enough to look like a contortionist. naturally good with animals I guess? Idk, nothing to write home about.

10. Where were you born? South Haven Michigan

11. What are your hobbies? Reading, drawing, writing (lol to both of these), gardening (i live in an apartment so I cant really do like...vegetable gardening but, I got plants! =3), studying various animals (and bugs), studying plants, photography, I come and go out of other hobbies, honestly. Adhd moments of "wow that looks cool" doing it once and never again....I'm trying, chief.

12. Do you have any pets? Avery (black cat), Diva and squeakers (twin solid gray cats), Baguatte (orange boi), Tiny man (gray stripy fella), Shaggy (not really MY cat, he's just some stray but....-sigh- he is sleeping in my house rn so I GUESS. (brother to Tiny man I think. very similar appearances). then there's weasle and skunk. (also cats) Do the assassin bugs i just bought for my garden count as pets? bc I have assassin bugs in my plants now =3

13. How tall are you? 5'4 ish and built like a brick.

14. Favorite subject in school? Didn't have a good time in school, so I hated all of it. Excelled at English and reading classes.

15. Dream job? Biology field. I want to get paid to study animal/insect behaviors and write papers on them. As it is I am just doing this shit for free lol

[unlikely-bloom]

Honestly the constant discourse about Kyman, as someone who ships it, is kinda making me want to distance myself from what used to be my OTP. People speaking ill of Kyman shippers is working on me and starting to make me worry that I'm doing something wrong by shipping it. I shouldn't care about what ppl on the internet think and I usually don't but constantly being told that I'm "supporting" something thats "abusive" or problematic is getting to me. Like dammit, I didn't even know about the discourse when I got into Kyman; I got into it by watching the show itself and it was my first SP ship but honestly if I knew that people gave a shit about it in the SP fandom I probably wouldn't have bothered. It'll always have a place in my heart but I'm getting tired of this shit 😔 Im extra emotional rn so Im not being rational here and you dont have to publish this. I know fandom shouldn't have that affect on me I'll get over it after Style vs. Kyman fight 2192943290 blows over. Idk if you're comfortable with vents sorry if I crossed a boundary here.

Oh, anon. It never used to be like this.

Fandom discourse these days is insane. Unhinged, even. The idea that anyone is more morally correct than someone else for what they ship and enjoy in fiction is absolutely ludicrous. Especially within the context of shipping fucking South Park characters.

The hard truth is that every fandom is like this now. You don't have shipping wars just arguing over what makes more sense 'in canon', but moving on to an ever-changing line of what is and isn't 'morally acceptable.' As if that's ever something the majority of people would ever agree on. (Hint: it's not!)

But there is a certain irony to see people arguing this for South Park of all things, as if we aren't all equally degenerate for enjoying such a 'problematic' show in the first place. Like... seriously. Be so serious, people. It's South Park. Everything is exaggerated for comedic effect-- including character's personalities, their actions and their relationships to one another. It's never going to be a character driven show no matter how much this fandom sometimes wishes it was. We're going to have characters who don't give a fuck about each other, literally wishing death or plotting to kill each other in one episode and then they're just going to be chilling playing video games in the next episode like nothing happened. It's episodic. That's part of the appeal. It's why it's such a sandbox.

Even if you didn't ship Kyman, their dynamic is impossible to ignore, try as some might. They say they hate each other, yet they keep hanging out. Both parties are there of their own volition. They both enjoy each other's company, and no amount of write-up's anyone can post on tumblr dot com is going to change that canon fact. They're friends.

Also-- they are just plain fun to watch, fucking hilarious and a huge appeal of the show! If someone else who watches the show doesn't like them, that's their problem. Them not liking an aspect of the show isn't going to make that part of the show any less valid and/or canon. And guess what? You're supposed to like their dynamic. It's supposed to be entertaining and captivating. How you interpret it is up to you, but there is 100% nothing wrong with watching an episode of South Park and enjoying Eric and Kyle's dynamic-- that is what you're supposed to do. So don't feel bad about it. The show is made for people to enjoy, after all. Also, it's important to keep in mind that just because you can find a dynamic appealing doesn't mean you endorse everything about it. That's such a wild and new-age fandom take. Fiction is an escape-- a safe space to explore unrealistic relationships and unrealistic characters. You're allowed to like fucked up things in fiction. You're allowed to like stuff in fiction you'd find repulsive or abhorrent in real life.

I think I can speak for a good chunk of the fandom when I say, I'd fucking hate Eric Cartman in real life. Hell, I'd probably hate Kyle, too. I have a lot of favourite characters from different fandoms I'd probably hate in real life. They're fun because they're fictional and it's different from real life. If I wanted to read about stuff that happens in real life, I wouldn't be here.

In the end, anon, fandom is supposed to be fun. To me it's just fun to take these silly little egg construction paper kids, draw 'em as anime characters, and give 'em some angst. It's fun! There's so much to do with them! They're soooo dynamic!

But if you're not having fun-- if you're stressing-- there's nothing wrong with taking a step back for your own mental well-being. I'm not about to tell you your feelings are invalid, because I know how any internet discourse, no matter how trivial or silly it may seem, can still stress you out. If you're constantly being told you're morally corrupt or problematic, it can take a toll on you-- even if you know you're not. The truth is you're never going to agree with everyone on the internet, and people will weaponize something as trivial as a South Park ship to make them feel better about their ship while also making you feel worse about your ship.

Anyways, when it comes to stepping back, I think there's a few ways you could go about this;

You could disengage with the social part of the fandom-- focus on the show itself, maybe just hunker down with some fanfics.

If you'd like to remain active on social medias, I think it wouldn't hurt to start blocking liberally. Anyone who has anything along the lines of 'Kymans DNI' in their profile, just block right away. You don't want to see their opinion, anyways. You're never going to convince them otherwise.

If you have a few close friends, I recommend sticking close in a small private discord server where you can discuss your headcanons and gossip in private. It's much more liberating than trying to get involved in any of the insane discourse that plagues both here and Twitter.

Anyways, anon, do what's right for you. Kyman shippers will always be here to welcome you back! They can say what they want-- we have too much canon fodder for us to ever go away!!

[scribespirare]

So I'm considering starting a Miguel O'Hara x Reader on AO3 and was just wondering if you may have some ideas and tips, considering you masterfully capture Miguel's character in your flowerbite/flowerfang oneshots and whatnot. I've read them all, don't worry. I wouldn't say I'm new to the idea of writing fanfiction, but it's more or less finally putting myself out there as my primary audience has been my friends and, you know, could use some minor pointers, if you will. You don't have to answer. I'm just wondering because you're the main Spider-Man Across The Spiderverse Tumblr account I follow, so... idk.

Hey! I don't mind answering at all. X reader fics are very much not my thing but they have their place in fandom as much as any ship material. I'm gonna put this under a readmore cause it might get a little long!

First I'm gonna talk about some general stuff about adapting just about any character for fic! You might not need this anon since you sound like you already do some writing, but I figured I'd include it anyways

The best advice I can give is to spend time learning a character's voice and mannerisms. Even if you're not writing from their perspective, getting dialogue and movement down accurately can allow you loooots of leeway for being out of character in other areas, either on purpose or unintentionally. This can look like speech patterns, intonation, word choices, and accent, as well as when a character speaks up (are they a chatterbox? Are they the silent type? Do they have a tendency to butt in?). Physical mannerisms can look like nervous tics or habits (hair pulling, biting a lip, shifting weight), ways a character might move when they're speaking, or things like how they walk, run, sit, or fight.

OKAY so onto Miguel. The thing about Miguel is that...I actually don't know him as a character all that well. I'm just pretty good at doing all the above stuff and extrapolating what I can from atsv and fandom posts to fill in the rest. What I've put together so far is that he's a hero at heart, but one who's been pushed past the point of having hope in the world or future. He has resigned himself to doing the dirty work that no one else wants to because it's the only way he can imagine a future at all. This manifests in him being terse, angry, and difficult to be around or work with. When writing him I try to picture what could be the absolute worst case scenario of his current situation, and have him react as if that scenario is inevitable. That means disregarding his own emotions over every little thing and bitterly accepting losses or defeat in situations that aren't literally world ending, such as being broken up with or an having an argument (this makes him highly susceptible to manipulation btw if u like angst).

I don't always write him as miserable as his movie version tho, b/c I'm a softie and like fluff lmao. So for softer stuff I just kinda follow a tsundere archetype. He's gruff and rude but he will always always always support anyone he cares for, even if he'd never admit to it. With a lover I picture him as a little overbearing and possessive but squishy once you get to the core of him. The kind of guy who knocks out someone who slapped his partner on the ass and also cooks regularly for them and remembers important dates. But at the same time gripes at/about said partner, maybe shoves them around a little, and threatens them semi-regularly if they're tough or outgoing. For a softer love interest id imagine him as being overly careful with them instead, worried about hurting them with his size or strength or general shit attitude constantly.

As for the speech and physical aspects I was talking about, it's key to remember that he's quite literally part spider. Like has spider dna, not just magic spider powers like the others. He's faster, stronger, and has sharper instincts and reflexes. He moves and behaves like it. Like a predator in an overstimulating environment.

Speech wise, I find I like to have him slip into Spanish for particularly emotional or impactful statements, as well as for those little common expressions people use without thinking about them (hello, goodbye, how are you, curse words, stuff you say on auto pilot). He also mumbles a little and has a very casual speech pattern like any day to day American but not so casual as to use slang often or slip into AAVE the way Miles does. Very rude too, cutting people off or talking over them.

Okay I have prattled on for fucking ages now fjejdjsnsd I hope some of this helps???

[zanarkandfayth]

15 Questions

I was tagged by @ivorydice, thanks!

Tagging just... whoever. I don’t feel well and I don’t wanna think lmao

1. Are you named after anyone?

Well, I took "fayth" from Final Fantasy X because I adore the fayth so much and to me it's a gender neutral name. It started out combined with zanarkandfayth as a username idek when, late 2000s, and then just gradually evolved into me calling myself fayth. My legal name, no. My first name was apparently just easy for my dad to spell and my middle name is french because my mom likes the language. I hate both names and they can fuck off lol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh... I have a hard time crying these days even though I want to. Almost did last night because surgery recovery has been a bitch, does that count?

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. Don't want them. I'm not even capable of taking care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for another human being? And I did not win the gene lottery and the world sucks, I'm not inflicting this miserable existence on someone else.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, though less than I used to because even sarcasm is effort and I'm tired.

5. What sports do you/have you played?

I liked basketball as a kid, and baseball, though I wasn't any good at either. I used to like to run. Uuuh I also did taekwondo as a kid for a couple years? idk if a martial art counts as a sport though.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

Hair... idk it's usually the most noticeable thing to me. Except that guy who came through my line at DT once who was about seven feet tall, I definitely noticed his height first.

7. Eye colour?

Mine? Boring brown. Will forever hate it.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I used to like/not mind scary movies when I was younger, but now I need the feel good chemicals. Also I don't watch movies anymore. Legit could not name the last movie I've watched at this point.

9. Any special talents?

Making my readers cry lmao. No, idk. What's considered special? What's considered a talent? I don't want to stand out.

10. Where were you born?

Southern US, the same miserable state I exist in now, good ole Tennessee, though I'm now at the opposite end of it from where I was born/grew up. It's worse on this end for sure.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, video games, cooking... I'd say reading but I don't do that as much as I used to. The guilt of not having the energy to comment on fics gets to me and so I just don't read at all instead :/

12. Do you have any pets?

A shithead named Max. He's a flamepoint siamese cat that an old neighbour rescued from where he'd been abandoned on the side of the road and me and my ex ended up taking him in. My ex named him (after mad max apparently and I hate his name lol) but he attached himself to me so when I kicked the ex out a couple years later for being an abusive cheating narcissistic asshole, Max stayed with me. He turned ten this May but he still zooms around the house like a kitten. I love him but my health problems have made it increasingly hard to take care of him so he's going to be my last cat.

13. How tall are you?

5'2, forever sobbing

14. Favourite subject in school?

English was the only one I really enjoyed just because it was so easy. When I did university for the third time (the one I actually graduated from lmao), I also really liked most of my sociology classes, enough to make it a second degree, and I liked my scottish history class. If I could afford a third degree it'd probably be in history.

15. Dream job?

At this point? Nothing. Being a stay at home husband (with no kids, yes), or being an eternal university student just taking classes and getting degrees for the heck of it would be my ideal. I would also like to try my hand at making my own video game, but a) I can't art for shit, and b) chronic fatigue makes even starting on learning coding too daunting. I don't even have the energy I want for my current hobbies.

[lavenderspence]

(anon with the controversial opinions about spencelle, postprison!read, hotch and dating,.. again)

You’re actually so sweet for answering all my yapping!!

I didn’t even realize the low blow for the Aaron one, I‘m so sorry 😭, it might be my tism and not being able to be great at conveying what I mean without sounding mean if you get what I want to say?

anyways I completely agree with your take on writers can take a character and write them in the way they want! On the flip side I still believe there are more canon ways and more fanon ways to write a character, and writing a character ooc to fit a certain idea is ok! Like I know it‘s kind of one of the biggest compliments to get ,,oh you write xyz so in character“ but at the end of the day, as you said, writers should enjoy to write a character as they like!

I just have a slight problem with it if they kind of..complete overwrite certain traits? And not in a way where I send hate or whatever, just in a way of ok this irks me so I‘m either gonna block or simply scroll, while I do believe we should call out writers if they e.g write a lesbian character as a non-lesbian one or an autistic character as an allistic one if that makes sense!

Then again we should not reduce a character to only one of their traits, idk I just think there should be less..shame about not writing a character 100% canon but also on the other hand acknowledging that there is this fanon version

I probably make zero sense and maybe you won’t even get why it‘s so significant to me, it’s just when I‘m hyperfixating on a topic/character it‘s unreasonably frustrating to read about mischaracterization but again I keep it to myself or, like now, tell you about it as a controversial opinion!

But what really shocked me is you not shipping jemily!! Jail time!!! /j

Anyways I was yapping again and thank you actually for taking time out of your day to answer!!

hi babe! I'll forever and ever answer any and all yapping, so no need to thank me🤭���

well, he is my husband, so it was in fact a low blow, but I'll forgive you this time 🙄 (you didn't sound mean, I promise, I'm just joking around it's all in good fun!)

I do think it's amazing when a writer makes the character seem like he's plucked straight out of the show/movie, by writing him to a complete T because it does allow the reader to feel even more connected to the fic itself.

I'm going to be completely honest here again, and I hope I don't catch any negativity, but as someone who really cannot read autistic traits, most of what's associated with spencer I take as full on personality traits for him without any association. I would actually love it if you shared a bit more about how you see his autistic traits portrayed, or maybe what specifically you associate with. I don't really know how he's been portrayed in my own writing thus far when it comes to those specific traits, I'd love to hear too, what youve noticed.

I think at times it depends a bit on the concept of the idea of the fic itself, if it would be well placed to touch on those traits (I do hope I'm making sense without sounding ignorant or something). like at times, a fic is so fast-paced or incredibly specific, you can't really touch or figure out where the mention of those traits fit.

I absolutely think both should meet in the middle, and there should be a level of understanding when it comes to, like you said, canon and fanon. I find it a little bit entitled at times when I see hate about it, when you take into consideration the amount of spencer fics out there, and how you can find something to satisfy your need/craving, and skip whatever you don't vibe with. I think there's a place for every idea, every fic, every person, and every opinion, but the main thing is to always be polite about it.

jemily...I'm sorry, I really don't see it. maybe in evolution, with the s17 scene, and in "200" when jj is being tortured, but not much else😭😭

and please don't worry about yapping, this blog is always a safe space to do so, or be controversial 🤭

[softue]

I'm not enough

TLDR; I don't feel like I'm enough for you, I hate myself and how much of a lazy piece of shit I am. You could do better even though I want to try and be better for you. I'm not enough for you, not in a like, you need more. I'm just not good enough, and it's not your fault. It's mine, I'm a bum who sits around with the hopes of the fucking world but once it's time to act I crumble under the pressure. I get in my head and over think, ruining my chances at a happy life. You deserve better and no matter how much I tell myself "I'll be better" or "I'll get this done, I'll do it for them" I just don't believe it. I'm a quitter, all my life it's all I've done. I quit school and cooked my brain, I quit my friends and let them go, I quit my health and let it slip. All my life I said it's whatever, giving up on it like the bum I am. You could do better, that's why I get so worried about you figuring that out. I don't have much to offer, most shit will rot away with me. I don't deserve you, I never have and I know it. You know it, you know you could do better. I wonder why you keep me around, the real reason. You might like my attention or the option. It's not my looks, figured that out a while ago. I don't really bring anything, just entertainment and a pastime. All I'm good for, if I'm being honest. To Be honest, I didn't accidently burn myself on a stove. Sorry I lied, I was going to tell you but I don't need you worrying about me or having that mental ideal about me. Honestly I hate myself, I hate my skin, I hate my hair, I hate my eyes. God my fucking eyes, I hate the way they rest, makes me look tried/weak. I hate everything, and it's my fault. Most of it? I can't control being black, but I can control my weight and hair health. I let myself go, it's my fault. Most things are, cause I'm a quitter.

I'm going nowhere, fuck the idea of 100T or streaming. I'm shit at val, worst of the worst. I can't maintain a streaming schedule cause I'm so fucking lazy. Every life schedule I try to make ends up failing me, well not failing me, I fail it. I fail everything, hell right now I'm supposed to be doing my chem shit. Finishing it off, but sometimes I wonder what the point of it is. I try to find hope and reason to live but every time I do it gets stripped from me. I hate my brain and I'd rather paint it on a wall then live with it in my skull. Don't worry though, I'm too pussy to kill myself, I think. I'm a fucking mess, and empty shell of a human. Sometimes I wonder if I treat you like my mom, like when you say "I'm not your mother". I have to take a step back and think, because I don't want you to feel that way. I don't need one, and I'm not looking. I just want someone to love me, yk? It's odd, I have this hole in my chest, this void that needs to be filled. I think it's love? I've tried everything else. Sex made me feel worse. Ignoring it made me want to die even more than I am. God made me feel guilty, still does. Idk man, life's weird. I don't really know how to put it. I'm scared to say it the wrong or right way because I don't want to lose you. That's why I mostly keep my mouth shut, so you don't get mad at me or have to correct me. Makes life easier. You make me want to try though, in life and shit. Which is new, most of the time I get that feeling of contentment. With you I don't, I know I HAVE to be better for you. There isn't a choice, you should have the world, you deserve the world. I want to do my best to give that too you. I just struggle, ig? It's less of a struggle and more of a wave. I wake up with a fire under me and then it slowly dies over a day or two. I get the willpower to live and then lose it. I get how cringe this might sound or how long it's getting. You don't have to read it. I never really write them for you to read them, just to imagine myself having a convo with you and help me clear my clouded mind. I wouldn't post them but it's the chance you read them that gives me that mindset? Like a gamble, idk man. All I know is I want to be the one for you, and I'm still going to try(?) and do my best. Even though my best isn't enough. 

It's not you that makes me feel like I'm not enough, well. Entirely? It's not your fault, its my brain overthinking and shit. Sometimes I feel like you bless me with chances and I keep fumbling them. Over and over. We keep getting into these "ruts" but btw I don't know what to call them. It's happening over and over, almost weekly. Which I feel like makes you not want to talk to me, I'd feel that way. I think, but I don't know. I don't know a lot when it comes to you. You're new to me, whole new ideals and mindset. I'm not used to this, at all. When I say diff mindset I mean like, the whole "Coming home to me" isn't anything I've heard before, and I'm still trying to understand and adjust. Just sounds like an open relationship to me. I think it's not that? I don't know. It's all so new, it's weird. I don't know how to feel or how to act about it or on it. I don't want to change who you are but does that mean I should change who I am? Is one of us right and the other is wrong? Are we both wrong and right? It's all so much, spinning in my mind. I don't want to lose you and I feel like we could work out, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one willing to change. I'm trying to understand your pov but I don't feel like mine is getting seen. When we get into "ruts" and I misinterpret something you say. You say I'm "Putting words into your mouth" but when you do it your just understanding what I said better than I did. I don't like it. I don't like that. It's toxic, even if you don't realize you're doing it. You are. I don't want to argue or anything but I want to be able to speak my mind. I want to be able to have a conversation without you or me getting mad. I get you match energy but I don't do that to you, when you get mad at me and raise your voice I try my hardest to understand you. I get it, you're trying. But I need to get this off my chest. I can feel this mental weight leaving me. as I type. I don't want to ruin your day, or make you mad or cry. I just want to be able to be open. I know I struggle with understanding you when you're open. I'm sorry. I really am, we both have things we need to work on. I'd love to sit down and talk about it, like we planned. A weekly sit down chat about things. Sorry if this ruined your day or your mood.

I feel a lot better. After getting this off my chest. I'm not quitting, at least right now. I'm going to keep trying to be better for you. I know this whole thing is written poorly. Its pacing is weird, but it's how I think. This is straight from my brain. It's easier this way for me to express how I feel. I like you, a lot. I really do care about you, and us. I want to be better for you and myself. Sorry for all the times I've made you mad, or said the wrong thing. I know it's a lot to ask but could you tell me when I do? I never meant for you to feel like a dog, it's not how I meant it. I would have taken it back, trust me. I never want to hurt you like that. With my words or in any way. I'd never say something like that to hurt you, please. Trust me, and tell me so I can make it right. I can't read your mind, like how you can't read mine. Even if you can't tell me right away, please try and tell me at some point after. I don't want you hurting, especially if it's from something I said or did. 

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

15 questions

the amazing and incredible @bisexualseraphim tagged me and now i have my laptop i can comply

Were you named after anyone?

not my first name but my middle name was from a character from buffy the vampire slayer and i have grown to love it because of that fact given which character it is

Do you have kids?

nope, no plans to either. maybe if the world gets better but i do not want to raise kids in this world

When was the last time you cried?

last night watching grey's anatomy. in my defence im very invested and it's my mums fault

What sports have you played/do you play?

growing up i played rugby and hockey for the school teams, i also casually played netball and football. at my high school we had to pick sports in year 10 and i chose the most active ones bc i was sick and tired of being thrown into the less active sports bc i wasn't as fast or as coordinated and it was awesome

currently, i've always been big into cycling which is hilarious for someone with dyspraxia

Do you use sarcasm?

i'm british, what do you think? (that's a big yes)

First thing you notice about people?

hair. idk why but i just do. i think it's because i can't do faces so i stick to hair, i like seeing the styles and colours. it tells me nothing about them but i'm always interested

Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings all the way. i'm a sucker for soppy stories that let me cry bc they give me a reason to get my emotions out y'know. and i'm an even bigger fan if it's in my fandoms (which they never are unless it's fanfics)

What are your hobbies?

writing, reading (mostly fanfics), playing a small selection of video games (minecraft, sims 4, assassins creed odyssey), comics, listening to music which is totally a hobby, i'm learning the ukulele again maybe...

What is your eye colour?

bc of how my eyelashes cast shadows, my eyes look like chocolate curls, y'know these things

my eyes are the like one thing i like about myself, i have good eyes

Any talents?

nope. i can't draw, can't sing or play any instrument, i can barely speak my first language, i'm not sporty, i'm good but not exceptional at school, i don't even have good general knowledge, genuinely i have no talents.

which is sad given i used to have most of them. growing up i did everything and was decent. i got school solos, played the guitar and piano, acted in school plays, was on sports teams, top of my class, literally learning multiple languages at once, guess the former gifted kid that turned out to be disabled burnout hit me hard lmao

but fine, i write but i'm mid tier at it AT MOST

Where were you born?

england *rolls eyes*

Do you have any pets?

i grew up with 4 cats, 3 died, got 2 more, the last of the 4 died, now have those 2 cats and a dog

How tall are you?

somewhere between 5'7" and 6 foot. wish i knew where in that (i think i'm like 5'8"-5'9" but people disagree) but it's safe to say i am taller than average

Favourite subject in school?

maths and science. all science. love it all. i did love english too until i had a bad teacher. oh and art was always fun, especially the construction module where we made physical things (it wasn't a sculpture). and geography. actually i loved most subjects in school

Dream job?

it's so stupid but i'd love to write AND do science research. acting would also be cool but that's so much commitment with little return and i'm not conventionally attractive so there's literally no point and i'd rather have a stable career

anyway, i have to tag people but i'll only tag my moots and the ones i've spoken to outside of tumblr bc i hate tagging people lmao... @somniphobicfox @avogadrostoast6022 @she-posts-nerdy-stuff and literally anyone else that wants to do this :p

[gloam-eyed-radio-tower]

January 29th, 2024

About me: I don't even know if I am using a consistent dating format. I sometimes, well... rather often get lonely, if I was just just alone in the world I think I would be fine. I would walk along the vastness of my town and for the first time it would look the same as I see it from my point of view, the illusion would end and everything that troubles me would fade. I want to go and visit great museums and galleries and get some desserts and take pictures with them with friends and go to the woods bordering the city like nature is trying to nurture what is no longer there with its palms. I want to be there having a picnic or maybe if its snow throw myself into it. Have a walk late at night at 2am with someone, stopping at the swings to try and grab a star so I could give it to them... But I feel awkward ? I don't know how I feel but I can tell when people don't enjoy my company and I'm not sure what to do. I tried to do what other people wanted of me but that just left me alone, tried acting how people wanted me to act but I guess its easy to see through the act and that just distances them away from me. I am at a point where if I do act like myself I think I would be rude, not overall but specifically to people I love the most. I would probably think ,, how could you love me so much and do this to me,, or something along those lines, so I distance myself from those who are closest to me in order not to hurt them or upset them and that distances me even more. I feel awkward. I can keep myself calm and I can keep my life peaceful and pleasant. I'm trying not to get into smoking too much, I don't know why I find it pleasant...uhmmm idk what else is new, I guess I just want a less boring life and I guess I started smoking because its just a new excitement at the moment. I feel awkward, I really want to start drawing again and pour myself into something , I will overflow , the tank will explode and I'm not sure that whatever pond is made out of it is a place where ducks could live. pee ass: riki was on my hand it was really hard to write any of this

Something cool: I think its a good idea to do a section above myself and another one where I get to nerd out about whatever I want. ill keep it short because I couldn't keep it so in the section above and I am getting tired so todays topic is going to be.... THIS NEW SECTION I JUST STARTED WOAHHHH :O where I could rant and write about whatever interest I have and there are plentyyy !!!! I stopped nerding out to friends and stuff they would prob tell my they don't mind it and like that about me but I'd just feel annoying so here it goes... ugm this is already plenty long and I started talking about myself again I utterly failed :< . Lets do fast waves of emo classifications , some left to my interpretation: Wave one would be the emocore scene with Rites of Spring being the 1st emo band of all time, its still closely related and basically still is post-hardcore, I probably like Moss Head the most out of them all. This wave started in the mid 80s and would continue to the start of the 90s with midwest emo starting the 2nd wave of emo. Bordering wave 1 and 2 I would put stuff like Sunny Day Real-Estate, Jawbreaker and Cap'n'Jazz ( the singer is the brother of the singer and guitarist of American Football and the drummer is him !!!) . I guess I would put Jimmy Eats world as the main influence of 3rd wave emo ( the 2000s yucky one that got popular ) with emo becoming more poppy with emo pop and genres like pop-punk being affiliated with it. My favourite from this era would probably be Johnny Foreigner. Wave 4 is emo revival with it mostly consisting of indie midwest emo acts with the main influence being Brave Little Abacus. Like shoegaze and slowcore the revival era mostly consists of a lot of boring music that doesent reinvent anything new, I personally dont like Modern Baseball at all, but there are a lot of good acts here that I like but I just wanted to shit on the popular normie one. Fifth Wave emo I named myself and I think I got the name the most accurate so far and I would call it bedroom emo as it consists of solo artists making emo from their room on their own, using a lot of digital software instead of real instrument and mixing genres like noise-pop and slacker rock with emo. Some of the acts from this era would be Weatherday and Parannoul but I feel too tired is 4:30 and I want to end the world.

"But I woke up this morning with a piece of past caught in my throat? And then I choked. "