#idk hope tomorrow is kinder

[thiskindnessreturnsmetomyself]

The vibes in my life today were so…. Sinister.

[ckret2]

See originally i wouldve been worried bill returned to repay the murder attempt in kind, but we know how he handled that in chapter one, so he wouldnt go about it like this. What the fuck is this guy’s deal. I hope he brags about this though “and thats 0/5 sixer, hey maybe you’ll get me the SIXTH time eh?” That suit raises questions though, because no way he just went into a store in gravity falls and bought that. Did he call up his cult and go “your god demands drip” like freedom is secondary to this, he needs to protect his brand.

I feel so bad for mabel though, idk if killing bill without her knowing is kinder or crueler. This chapter hurt despite knowing bill wouldnt be “dead” for long. I will never be over bill possibly hinging his fate on his archnemesis not being able to look him in the eye during his execution, if that turns out to be the case. Even if it isnt something as mundane as a dummy in a wig, i hope its something equally stupid.

Couldn't pass up a line like that

I think it would've been kinder to be honest with Mabel; but I think if they HAD been honest with Mabel, it would have been impossible to execute him. Like can you imagine if Ford had sat her down and gone "we're murdering ur buddy tomorrow," she would've started biting

[skenisasleb]

yall i think i might be getting artblock :((

i think making 3 animation memes in a single week is getting to me, as well as a lot of the things I’m SUPPOSED to draw and animate. I think I pushed myself too far when I had that burst of artistic energy 😭

i dont even feel like ANIMATING anymore, just because there’s drawing involved.

So unless today is just one of those days where im tired and my decision may change tomorrow, Im going to be taking a break. For how long? idk. I may just come back tomorrow for all I know, but I also may not💀.

And if I do decide to draw/animate while on my away time, then I’ll restrain myself from posting it so I can just draw for myself instead of expecting exposure.

so, sorry to all the people whom I said i would draw their oc ask requests on @southparkthenewkids , and also sorry for @sula0kim because i may miss Kinder’s bday 😭😭😭

hope yall understand :)

[eventinelysplayground]

Who Wednesday?

Hello followers, mutuals and random tumblr stalkers it's Wednesday again so another blurb about what's going on with my wips!

I have finished my exchange gift so yay! I actually have somebody beta reading it this time too so this has been a lot of first but it's also been a lot of fun. I will be excited to see what all the participants have done for it and see how my recipient likes theirs :)

I have an idea for a birthday fic for Alfons, I need to use an OC for it because I just can't make it work with Kate or at least I don't believe I can. I dont have OCs for the game I usually more do self insert I guess or just go with the MC but not like I can't write one for this lol. Idk we will see I only have the idea and his b-day is tomorrow so....

I haven't finished a lot lately because of life but I hope to get to a better place with things soon, and I need to be kinder with myself in regards to my fics and self imposed deadlines and extreme criticism.

I have my Silvio and his Dad fic almost done though still and if I get around to editing it my last request one that has Leonardo and Vincent. Honestly that fics been bothering me so much, not that I hate it just first I was late starting it so missed my self imposed deadline, the. I was unhappy so tore it to pieces a few times then was feeling so guilty it didn't get out on time and ya. I'm hoping once I've finally got it out there that it takes some of the nagging/weight off me.

Also working on a Napoleon birthday fic but that at least has more time. If IF there is anything left in me maybe I will do one for Yoshimoto but that's an if.

In closing the answer to Who Wednesday is Alfons, Napoleon, Silvio, Leonardo and Vincent and maybe Yoshimoto.

[philosophiums]

hi sam! what kind of benders would the main cast of aftg be? and also i know you said you don't read published books anymore but i have a feeling you might like these violent delights by micah nemerever 🫣 i hope tomorrow is kinder to you 🤎

mariammmmmmmm hello! <3 <3 <3

i feel so so strongly about neil being a firebender but specifically and primarily a lightning bender. A) bc it makes him just special enough to stand out as the protagonist and hold his weight in the story and B) bc i love love love the image of him surrounded by lighting the exact color of his eyes, illuminating them, making them kinda glow, and his red hair a stark contrast against all the blue just OUGH that's my shit

andrew is an earthbender in my heart, but i can also see him being a nonbender. i personally prefer him as an earthbender and would only ever write him that way, but i am a nonbender andrew appreciator

kevin.... idk. i go back and forth on him. i like both airbender and waterbender for him. sometimes i think he would make a nice avatar and then other times i would rather see neil be the avatar

renee is a waterbender (she mostly uses it for healing now but used to be exclusively a bloodbender). matt is an earthbender. dan i think could be a firebender but i like her more as a nonbender. allison and aaron also nonbenders i think, though i could be convinced for firebender and earthbender respectively. nicky is an airbender.

AAAAA book rec!!!! i shall look into it but pls understand that if i never read it it's simply bc my brain is non-functional <3 <3 <3

[emiliosandozsequence]

I don’t know if it’ll help, but I’m 18, and while all of my peers are mostly headed off to work or college I’m still at home because of things like my mental and physical health preventing me from continuing my education, plus a bunch of other hoops and hurdles that seem almost impossible to jump through.

I think we’re all going at our own pace, and some of us were saddled with a bigger bundle than others. It’s hard, but I think we should be kinder to ourselves, because at the end of the day we’re just trying to make it to tomorrow. ❤️

thank you anon <333 i appreciate this message <3333

i just feel really dumb at this point that i haven't been able to get over my trauma and live a somewhat normal life bc i have so many friends (plus a sister!!) who all have been through similar things and they're doing p good and i'm just......rotting. idk why i can't get over it and just move on; i think it's got a lot to do with never having had a good therapist or not being able to get away until i was already nearly 26, but, even though i know all of this and know that what you said is true logically, it's still frustrating, yknow?? <3

anyway i hope you're doing well and i wish only good things for your future <333

[captaincrusher]

It’s sucks that you’ve been feeling shitty lately :( I hope you know your account brings a smile to my face. Although I must say it was quite chaotic if you to make that one quark shipping post. Idk how I’ll recover from that ��

I hope life is a bit kinder to you tomorrow

Such a lovely ask. Being able to bring both joy and chaos is all I can hope for.

Enjoy the rest of your day, friend.

[thekidsarentalright]

oh my god the listening parties… we’re under attack fob is doing so much! unfortunately i don’t think i can go but i hope u and everyone else who are going have a fucking blast <3 so exciting that’s so soon! you’ll hear the album in like a week!! ahhh!! i’m using a lot of exclamation points but that’s bc i’m genuinely excited for u!

also, off topic but i saw u mention trying for tswift resale tickets and i’ve been hardcore debating on doing the same thing! the more i see ppl mention it the more i’m like… i gotta at least try to get tickets, right? fob and tswift in the same month would either fix me or take me out completely lmao 😭 fingers crossed it works out for both of us🤞

(also i’m sorry ur having a rough night, i hope everything quiets down and tomorrow is kinder <3 take care of yourself bestie)

- 🧋 anon

god yeah so much fob it's!!!!! so much!!!! fjrnfjd ah i'm sorry u aren't able to go to one, i wish everybody could >:/ bringing u w me . in my heart but i am Soooo excited to be going and hearing the whole album so early?? but then get to hear it the night it release too to have like. two first listens. idk insane!! thank u for sharing the excitement!! it is so exciting to be getting so much from them

honestlyyyyy if u can swing resale prices (idk which show u would be going for but i've seen the ones for the first couple shows in glendale have gone down a lot so... fingers crossed the same happens for all shows?) i think u should go for it yes!!! it seems like such a once in a lifetime experience like. it's worth trying! i hope it works out for us both too we deserve to see fob And her in the same month fr

[felixcosm]

Hey buddy y'all seem to be Going Through It and idk what It is but I'll be thinking about you. I hope your tomorrow is kinder than your today <3

thanks friend, it's not quite there yet but some things have improved. i hope your weekend is fun and relaxing!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary396

10/22-23/24

wednesday - thursday

ummmm. not much today to say.

we saw our friend, he came over and we talked for a while, he was outside for about 10 minutes while i was still getting ready, feel bad about that. he didn't seem to mind, it's nice out side at least, lately.

uhmmm, what else.

we talked about a lot of stuff, he's moved out, and is working a lot, and he's generally rather happy i think, or being around friends makes him happy. so he was happy to be here. having him here makes me happy, and my gf too, we both really like him and she can relax around him. others, it's harder to relax around, it makes sense to me, since he's more relaxed than basically everyone else but not in a way that's like, vegetal, like, stoned or whatever. not to hate but sometimes people who just turn into a vegetable on the couch make me sad and stuff. not pity it's just like, i wish i could talk to you more type stuff.

he talked about some frustrations he's had with other friends of ours recently. which is sad, it's sad that there are frustrations, it's also sad that like, he's not just tripping or something. it's just simple quotidian stuff nobody is evil or bad it's just frustrating when some people are like, i'll do this, let's do this, i'll do x, and then don't and then when someone is like, well just be honest with me, to be like, fuck you, about that, it's normal i think, it seems very normal for things like this to happen, but it does bother me that it does, and him, and it's also been an issue w/ one of our other friends too, since we've known him he's always been soooo flaky and stuff. i dunno. the only answer, thinking of it now, for me at least, has been to become more patient.

i didn't do much else today, i was gonna write but it's 1 am now and i need to sleep now/soon cuz we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. probably go to walmart, her mom seems to be in good enough shape to drive. i hope that goes well. i am thankful for that, since getting some more stuff w/o having to walk very far will really help us out.

just kept thinking about man hating today as well. unproductive but what can i do. i thought about how people can get hung up on stuff online that seems meaningless when compared to the issue which is how men see people who aren't men, the phallocentrism of things, the way you're nothing or like, in some cases, you will be dragged into that way of seeing and thinking no matter what. a kind of forced conversion into being someone who thinks less of others. i shouldn't be like that about men, or all of them, though in some cases, by some men, that is what being raised by them can feel like. i will make you someone who thinks it's okay to beat kids, like i beat you, you will be afraid of women and wish to possess them, and so on. subtle arts taught by fathers who don't know how to be kinder people.

or idk. that's just a lot of bad parents. women teach that too honestly, maybe less so the gendered stuff but they hit their kids as well, i've experienced it though significantly less so from my mother. i know my gf has had it that way though.

i don't know, idk what's going through my head right now, it's just a strange sadness. it's sad to think of people as being similar, especially realizing one is really only similar in some ways that describe a general unpleasant thing i've noticed among the men i've encountered, the very frustrating ones, who make me feel like this, my stepfather is kind of a centerpiece in that, but even then... i soften on him, feel bad for him, there is one guy who traumatized my friend, and my friend he's just like, so fucked up because of how unpleasant this guy was, self obsessed and weird, a lot of these people, they all kind of have stuff like that guy, but that guy is so different too, or, not different... it's maybe that for my friend, and in my experience of him, there's less to feel sorry for. some of it for me is this sense and wish that i could make them not awful, or, no sense, just wishing, really, not so much the i can fix him of people who are pathetic and sad, like daan from fear and hunger, for instance, just like, there is some way to help someone out of this kind of fear they seem to have, and out of the walls they have, right? with this other guy, it's like all wall, and what's behind it, i dunno, it's probably just that if i could see him, i'd have the pity, and the wish to try and be his friend to make the thing that sucks go away, or less, by being his friend. but that's insane of me, it's probably some kind of egotistical thing in me, that makes me think that by being around me, someone could be less like that. what's special about me? i'm just stupid, and sometimes people think i'm funny and i like being around people. it's just dumb.

anyhow, my friend was here, and i played fear and hunger 1 for him a bit, and got le'garde and got to ma'habre, with he and d'arce + moonless. now i need to lose moonless and get the girl... then... i d k,,, hum.... i just wanna get ending a.

lately i've been listening to less music. i should get back on my usual stuff. just lots of stuff that's soothing to me i guess right now since i'm depressed. i also want to do a drawing of daan, i'll try to lay it out tomorrow.

here's a song i hadn't heard until recently, somehow:

i love siouxsie, and i love basement jaxx, not hearing this feels like a crime, it's so perfect, love love love the bass synth in this one.

also, thinking of drawings, i want to do more marina at some point. while i have this fixation, it feels good to try and use it to get better at drawing, so i wanna try and do something with her in colors, and maybe a place? who knows about that second one though. scenes seem very difficult for me. also i need to read soon, i'm such a dummy for not.

okay, it's about 2 am, so i ought to sleep,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[foxlungz]

Lowkey very depressed rn cause my exams did not go well, and I worked pretty hard for em too so…

My parents are so mad cause I tried to ask them if I could just skip the last two left cause I was about to do something I shouldnt to myself… was thinking id do something to myself but then I rlly thought about it and its not worth it cause I have some stuff to prove about myself. If I quit now, not only will I not die but just cause issues for myself 😔😔 but I also have too much to harass you about so… /joke

(idk what this was ig I just needed to vent, hope I didnt trigger you or anything of the sorts. Will probably check out the animes you talked about and tell ya what I think since my final two exams are tomorrow… just gotta power through and sort out whatever the hell is going on with my life oof- early twenties and life is rlly hitting me hard rn)

~🐰

Nah you’re fine and I’m glad you felt comfortable getting this off your chest. I’m sorry they didn’t go well but you tried your hardest and that matters a lot so don’t be too hard on yourself which I know is easier said than done but I’m proud of you for trying your hardest and also for stopping yourself from doing something bad. Also I get where your parents are coming from bc they don’t want all your hard work to go to waste but they should’ve been more understanding and kinder about it instead of expressing it the way they did and I’m sorry they didn’t give you the support you need. Take one step at a time and when you’re done with your exams do something that brings you comfort and just try to take your mind off things. Things will be okay man and you got this you’ll get through this. 🫂🖤

[planet-marz1]

Hi my dearest Mari, I know you were having a tough time and I wanted to drop by to say I am sending you all my love and comfort, I hope tomorrow is kinder to you and know I am here for you always 💖

So, to maybe add a cute little giggle for your day/night I had to send in a sleepover ask heeheehee

Would you rather go on a pumpkin patch date with Joel or to a haunted house maze with him!? 🎃

Take care starlight 💌💕

erika!! you are so very sweet, thank you so much for the love and for your kind words 🥹💜

I'd have to say...pumpkin patch date w/joel

idk I think he'd just be all soft & sweet <3

send me things

[xandestired]

I don't really wanna wake up tomorrow

I'm just so tired of this, i wake up and i spend my whole day doing stuff for other people

Xande just always has to help, no matter what, he's never busy and when he is we'll make him feel bad for it

It's just so unfair, i can't even find the energy to put it into words anymore, it's kind of a simple loop anyway, family asks me to do something, i do thing, they don't thank me, i ask for help, family doesn't help, i do thing alone, this happens every time, with the exception of my mom who at least thanks me

My sister is the worst, and i legitimately hate her sometimes. She used to be so much kinder with me. idk what happened, maybe i just never noticed her being so cold and dismissive and rude with me before but idk, it just feels like with every passing day she treats me a bit worse

Idk

I'm just so tired, I've been so sleepy lately, i can feel my health has gotten worse too, i kinda even hope it's something serious, something that will debilitate me for a bit, cuz i wanna watch my family not have the same care and understanding with me as i do with them when they're sick

I wanna watch as they ask me to help them with something when I'm not supposed to be moving much

I know it's a fucked up thing to think and hope for, but in a way it'd feel awarding? Like i was right? Idk maybe i just wanna be proved, i want my family to take care of me and let me rest for once

That's kinda all i want, rest

[darsynia]

hello darsy! happy mother's day (very very late i know but i disappeared and came back sorry about that), but i have come with love to share and wanted to remind you that is okay to be a writer who is not writing and that this things come and go and i sincerely wish we could all see the movie of your fanfiction by telepathy or something like that so you don't struggle with writers blog, would be very useful and to remind you that you are very loved, i think about you as mommy but not the we-both-know general conception of mommy, more like genuine mother figure energy idk you make me feel very safe and protected and also very nurtured although through a screen, your blog is a very relaxing space for me, anyways i hope your day ends up soon and tomorrow comes to be better and kinder to you, stay safe bye bye<33

Omg thank you! I appreciate the support (I am actually writing, I'm just not posting cause it was all for gift exchanges but it is NO LESS TRUE and I appreciate the sentiment)!! I did worry about you having been less around but figured it was all real life important nonsense and I hope it was enjoyable or at least advancing to your life goals!

I would always love to be thought of as a protective figure who wants the best for you! Hopefully things wind down for both of us and we can relax and enjoy the things that make us happy more often soon! You are sincerely dear to me and I hugged this ask a lot before I posted it 💚

[outofcontexturi]

Thu 23rd feb 2023 journal 22:30

today has been tiring. I haven’t eaten properly and I’ve had a headache for god knows how long. I’m gonna rest and fuck off this showcase shit for the day cause that’s all I’ve been doing. I’ve not given any time to myself and pretty much all this time to stressing about showcase cause I’m having to do double the work. I fucking hate this feeling and I do want it to end. I’m nervous and excited for showcase but time really is of the essence right now. I listened to kanye this morning and i felt amazing. I felt like I could do anything. These long days have to pay off man. I’m praying I get the right agent and hopefully it comes after showcase. I mean the journey isn’t done if I don’t but I would really like to get one. A part of me feels like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with helping out Kiziana with her showcase but she’s chosen such a good scene for the both of us so that’s that on that. Moses on the other than is fucking difficult to work with but I love him he just takes so long to get into things and when time is of the essence it’s hard not to get angry with the guy. I feel like a fuse ready to snap when he does things cause it’s like why are you trying to piss me off bro when you should be trying to help me right now. The good thing about this is that I won’t be doing this again with him cause I don’t think I’d want this stress ngl. I just had jelly for dinner cause that’s what the life of a student actor is. I’m glad I’m documenting this moment so that when I look back I’ll remember the struggle and be grateful to wherever I am when I get to where I want to get to. It’s 22:38pm right now. Lights are off in the room. Bed room heater is on. New Wayne song just dropped. AirPods are in. Phone is on dnd. I thought about Honey today. It’s so hard to let someone you love go. I went back to our convos and just laughed cause she’s funny lmao. You deep how hard life is when the people you want aren’t around. My heart still feels cold(er). I still need therapy. I still need a job. I still need to live my life and do things. No freedom just yet. Which sucks but whatever. Just turnt the heater off: my bed is warm enough to thaw my heart now. It’s 22:44pm. I’m hungry. Might watch Avatar the last airbender. Then call it a day. Have a long day tomorrow and then the weekend will be long. The thing is, I HAVE TO FIND A WAY OUT CAUSE IF I DONT NO ONE WILL DO IT FOR ME. So yeah I can cry and complain about how shitty life is right now but it will end and these moments and feelings will end and maybe tomorrow won’t feel like this and maybe I’ll have eaten properly or got some nice sleep or felt good about myself or something idk that fact of the matter is I’m going to get whatever I need to get done BY ANY MEANS. cause that’s what I do. That’s what I’ve been doing. I don’t have to be the smartest person to do that I just have to have a spirit that doesn’t give up and luckily for me I have that so I should be fine. I’m also thinking about Nolu. I hope she’s fine. I think I remember speaking to her on Monday but that feels like forever ago with everything going on at lamda right now. Days seem to be merging together and I don’t have the energy to remember them they way I want to right now. I want to close off from the world but idk how useful that would be. This phone is on 30%. It’s 22:50pm. Last year today I wanted to kill myself I remember. I wanted to commit suicide. Kinda happy I didn’t. I did however look outside of a window at school today and there’s Barons Court station just there and I thought to myself “the way I’m feeling is probably jump” but that was earlier when I was really really stressed and tired and hadn’t eaten a fucking meal so I don’t blame myself for being dramatic. I was never gonna jump or break the glass and jump for anyone reading not that I care if you care or don’t care. I’m gonna get ready for bed and watch avatar (probably). Let’s pray tomorrow is kinder than today was and pray that I get these lines in. It’ll work out in my favour. The universe is working with me to get me where I need to be.

[coolauntlilith]

Idk even know how to reply but I'll try despite analysis not being my usual wheelhouse. @ramblingruminations

The point of him being better or having growth was, at least partially, a tool of writing so the audience would feel emotional about him as a character. And Izzy still *is* wound up into the whole Blackbeard deal - as he's dying he's telling Ed it's ok to cry, to be Ed. Izzy, as a character as a narrative tool, fulfilled his role in releasing Ed from Blackbeard and, arguably, had to heal and be better to have that character growth to just leave Ed alone for the most part during the episodes they were all on the ship together (like just interacting with Lucius, interacting only with Stede, Calypso's birthday), being healthy to Ed about his relationship with Stede (joking about docking and blushes), being really understanding to Stede in the bar about Ed leaving - all so he, Izzy the character, fulfilling his role would be complete in letting Blackbeard go, too.

But that's just my take on Izzy's Healing Journey, which I doubt you'll accept in just the barest manner of "that's a take on it."

I'm still so sure that the other half of it is that Izzy represents piracy and from *the* very beginning was always set to be written to die.

But Izzy wasn't just piracy. He's half of Blackbeard in his way. And so it just makes sense on that front too, him dying.

I just simply don't have a problem with him dying because despite how I hate *how* he died and how sad I was that he's a now dead character, it narratively does make sense if you can look at the entirety of the show.

And Izzy healing is not pointless just bc it was a narrative tool in one way or another. Characters represent shit, right? We should strive to be healthier, better,etc in our relationships even if we die tomorrow. What was the point?? We all die, and I hope I'm remembered as something positive even its only to my own small band of people. Like damn, really? What's the point? Even outside of it being important to tie up the whole Blackbeard part, the whole point it to just be better?? To be kinder and more loving? And Izzy is still beloved to me. His journey is really important to me, death and all.

I am genuinely sorry it hurt for him to die. But it wasn't a cruel joke. I wasn't malicious or homophobic writing. Izzy Hands wore a couple of narrative hats in the service of pushing Stede and Ed's plots forward and now they're all hung up because he fulfilled his role.

I like how I'm an "Izzy Hater" just for the fact I didn't become delusional and hinge the entirety of a show on one of the antagonists living or dying. 🙄

Like I legitimately liked Izzy. I was actually very sad he died.

But Izzy isn't the main character. Today I'm seeing posts that are of the sentiment, "we never said he was," but the hard core Izzy stans sure have been acting like this is equivalent to, idk. Killing Eve.

There's been great posts discussing Izzy being the show's antagonist within the crew and discussing the toxic dance that was Blackbeard and Izzy Hands. A very solid argument has been that Izzy couldn't be around for Ed to be Ed.

My personal argument is that Izzy was fated to die all the way back from S1. That he is the representative of "piracy." And as piracy is ending or dying out, Izzy dying represents that.

I do have problems with Izzy dying. But also I don't have enough of an issue to have deluded myself into calling this Bury Your Gays, I don't think Jenkins is a homophobe or transphobe like I've seen him be called on here, and I don't think it's transphobia just from a viewing perspective of Jim being trans and having had a beautiful arc both seasons and the Wee John being Calypso and not dying either??? Like the entire cast is queer, yall are so off your rockers with some takes that I have no sympathy for even though I was upset too.

It's genuinely concerning just how differently you all watched the show.

And as like a final take away - I guess the canyon happened bc people were horrendous to Izzy fans. That's not acceptable, I'm sorry that happened. This is an ahistorical romcom, the other extreme end of this fandom is wrong as well but in this case worse imo. That's shit behavior and true Izzy haters deserve to trip and knock out their front teeth for online harassment like that.

But having fucking critical thought (having a small opinion in my case) isn't hating on something. Damn. Throw your diploma away because it's fucking useless if this is your reaction to anything that doesn't fit into your fanon.

Jesus fucking christ. Drink some damn water and chill out.