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elvendria · 2 years ago

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NOTICING YOU - e.m x fem reader Part Three

tw: Reader is a cynic who doesn't believe in love, Claudia Henderson isn't the best :/ (is that a trigger? idk.), big sister acts like a parent, smoking, insomniac (??kinda if you squint??), swearing, jealous!Eddie (if you squint), pet names

word count: 4710

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part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

Y/N'S POV

"So, were you able to get through to someone to get your car fixed?" Mom asked. I told her the conversation I had over the phone with Eddie and explained that he'd be here first thing in the morning to collect the car and take it to the shop.

"First thing? But they're always swamped with cars on a Saturday. I thought you wouldn't get seen till Sunday, Monday at the latest." Mom said.

"Same here," I attempted to stifle a yawn but failed. "I've to be up early so uh... goodnight." I turned around and walked away.

I was never close with Mom, and then things kicked off with Dad.

I guess it was then I realised I wasn't as close with either of my parents as I had thought.

I padded down the hall towards Dustin's room in my bare feet, the feeling of the cool wood underneath my feet relaxing me with each step. I passed by my room to see Tews sitting on my bed cleaning herself. I hate that cat and I have no idea why my mom loves it so much.

That's not to say all cats are bad, I just don't like this particular cat.

Knocking on Dustin's bedroom, I waited to hear him say "It's open," before opening it slightly and sticking my head around the door.

"Goodnight boys," I smiled at them, all gathered around together talking about god knows what.

Mike, Will and Lucas will always feel like little brothers to me, I've known them so long. It felt weird seeing them as a trio, and a part of me missed seeing Will around the place. I hope he's happy in California.

"Night Y/n!"

"Thanks for letting us stay over!"

"Sleep. Soon." I said pointedly, "Just because you're in high school now does not mean you are to be up all night. You'll just end up being super tired tomorrow."

"But can't we just have-" Dustin started.

"Dustin the last time you had coffee you went nuts. Not happening again under my watch." I said, leaving the room

"Technically we're under Mom's watch," He mumbled back defeatedly.

I stuck my head back around the door, giving him a look that blatantly said 'Really? Moms' watch? Have you ever even met our mother?' before he groaned causing me to laugh as I exited the room.

Sometimes I love to play the authoritative big sister card just to mess with him, it can really piss him off.

I didn't know how what time 'first thing' was, I'm grateful and all but couldn't he be a bit more specific? Either way, I was going to need to get to sleep so I could wake up early. I set my alarm for 7:30 am, which isn't even a time that should exist on a Saturday morning, so I could get up and be ready for when he calls. I had switched off the handbrake and managed to push the car till it was outside my house. Could've done with Robin's freakishly strong arms but she had her Family Video shift, plus I'm fairly sure I earned a few muscles of my own.

Changing into a pair of old biker shorts and an oversized misfits t-shirt, I crawled into my bed and lay on my side, willing sleep to come, but my head was so full of thoughts it was like there was no switching it off. I lay like that until I could hear everyone in bed, and the faint sound of my mother's snoring echoed through the halls.

When I was certain that she was asleep, I snuck out of the house and sat on the swing bench on our porch, curling my knees up to my chest underneath my shirt and resting my head on them.

There was something about the nighttime, the way the town went silent. As a kid, I used to believe that because it was so quiet, everyone would be able to hear the slightest noise you make. On nights like these, I sometimes wonder the same thing.

Except now I know about science and the speed of sound, so the idea is a complete fantasy.

Sitting on the bench, lighting up a cigarette from my stash that kept my hands slightly warm. I looked out at the sky, not seeing a single star. Not seeing anything but the faint glow of the street lamps from down the road. There was a faint breeze that wrapped around my ankles now and again, but other than that it was a warm night, unusually warm for October.

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I sat there until I could see orange streaks beginning to paint the sky. So much for trying to get some sleep. I unfolded myself from the swing and walked to my room, careful not to wake anyone. Checking my alarm clock, I saw that it was 7 am. I could try and get a 30-minute nap in but knowing me, I'd sleep past my alarm.

I took a shower, scrubbing the smell of the night air off my skin. I wanted to stay in the shower, to feel the steam rise around me, but I didn't have the time. I turned off the water, wrapped my hair and body in a towel, and then made my way to my room to start getting ready.

I debated drying my hair but decided I wasn't in the mood to deal with the frizz today (I never am). Pulling on a low-cropped white shirt, black ripped jeans and combat boots, I got changed and grabbed some cereal before sitting on the couch and reading. By the time Eddie pulled up, my hair was almost dry but still damp in places.

The doorbell rang and I looked at my mother, not surprised to find her fawning over that stupid cat once again. I got up and answered the door, a part of me freaking out before remembering why he was here.

"Hi," I said quietly, fear washing over me as I suddenly realised this was my first time talking to Eddie, face to face.

"Hey," he replied equally as sheepish. Was something wrong? Had I done something?

His eyes moved down towards my exposed waistline, and I desperately wanted to grab a hoodie to cover up.

He must've found the shitty brown carpet very fascinating because he couldn't seem to look away from it. "So the truck is parked out front, I've hooked your car up to it and everything, I just need you to come down to the shop to fill out some stuff." He told me. I figured I'd have to go to the mechanics at some stage today, I just didn't think it would be so soon.

"Do you want a coffee or something before we go?" I pointed my thumb towards the kitchen, the mannerisms that my grandmother drilled into me coming into play again. He looked up, our eyes holding each other and suddenly I felt like there was a magnetic in each of his eyes, drawing me in closer.

From where we were standing you could see beside the kitchen, where my mom was sitting there, talking to Tews like it was a human baby.

"Uhm, maybe some other time?" He said, suppressing a grin.

"Yeah sure,"

Had I just 'yeah sure' d the idea of coffee with Eddie Munson?

"I'll grab my mom's car keys, just hang on two seconds." I turned towards the living room where my Mom was sitting, combing the cat with an old comb of mine.

"Um, there's room up the front of the truck if you want to ride up there with me?" He asked me, "It might be a bit easier."

I turned one more time to look at my mother, who was now singing lullabies to this freaky cat before agreeing.

God, I miss Mews. Now that was a cat who did not like to be coddled.

Just as I was about to pull the door behind me, my mother called out. "Remember you're trying on dresses for homecoming this afternoon! We'd better hurry or all the good ones will be sold out!"

My heart dropped and I wanted to strangle her. I prayed to whoever was up there that Eddie hadn't heard her.

I threw my book bag over my shoulder, I never liked to leave home without it. He opened the car door for me and waited till I was in okay before running to check that everything was hooked up properly. While I was waiting for him, I sat noticing all the little details in it. Things like his pack of cigarettes and a lighter, or a few jumbled-up mix-tapes sitting in the glove box and in the pockets on the driver-side door. A black bandana was thrown across the dashboard, most likely the one that Eddie carries around all the time.

What surprised me most was the pack of hair ties hidden underneath his rolling papers. Although I guess when you have as much hair as he does and work as a mechanic, tying it up is more of an occupational precaution.

He opened his door and threw off his coat before jumping in. He grabbed a hair tie and pulled his hair back, and I tried my hardest not to look as every muscle in his arm flexed. Made all the more visible by his grey muscle shirt, his tattoos on full display.

"Buckled up?" He asked me, I nodded as I closed the seat belt around myself. He did the same and then started up the car. He drove with one hand on the wheel and another on the gear stick, right next to my knee. Every so often there'd be a bump in the road and his knuckles would graze against my jeans or my exposed knee, sending off shocks from where he touched me.

The silence was deafening, the only noise coming from the metal music on his radio. It was a bunch of different bands which made me think it was a mix-tape. I was going to say something, compliment the music, but Eddie beat me to the punch before I could open my mouth.

"So, you're going to homecoming?" His eyes were fixed straight ahead on the road. There was a tone to his words that I couldn't quite decipher, almost nervous.

"Um. Yeah," I fidgeted with my hands in my lap. "last year and all that, figured I'd see what all the fuss was about while I still can."

"And uh," His grip on the steering wheel tightened, his eyes unwavering from the road ahead, "and do you have a date?"

My chest tightened and I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe given the thickness of the air around us.

"No, it's just me and Robin," I said lowering my head, suddenly very fascinated by my hands, "We'll probably both just sit on the bleachers till 10 pm before figuring out some way home."

"Good," he muttered quietly, almost as if he didn't want me to hear him. I had so many questions, but a few stuck out in my mind.

Was he happy I wasn't bringing a date? Or that I wouldn't be dancing?

"Are you going?" Why had I asked that?

"No, it's uh," He chuckled slightly, "Not really my scene,"

I don't know why my blood felt cold and my heart sank as he said this, but they did.

Master of Puppets by Metallica came on, and I started tapping my foot quietly, letting the questions and feelings fade with every strum of the guitar. Dad hated this song, but I always thought it was a good one. Hearing it again after so long caused goosebumps to make their way across my skin.

"Come Crawling Faster,"

I thought I was singing under my breath, but that last line came out louder than expected. I sat there and prayed he hadn't heard me.

"Obey Your Master," He sang back, a smirk plastered on his face.

His voice sent tingles down my spine and makes the hair on my arms stand upright, leaving me with goosebumps all over my skin. He was so close to me that I was almost certain he could feel the tension rising within me.

He looked like he was going to say something, but then we turned onto the gravel path leading up to the mechanics, and the moment was gone.

Why does he make me feel like this, it's not like I have a crush on him or anything. Crushes are for girls in middle school and people with their heads in the clouds.

Maybe it was just because he was helping me out with the car. Yeah, people find plumbers and firefighters hot all the time, it's just because they're providing a service.

Not that I find Eddie hot. I mean he is very attractive, and when he stretches his arms it makes me feel all weird inside, but I am most certainly not attracted to Eddie.

The truck came to a halt outside the workshop. Eddie jumped out of the truck and rushed around to my side just as I was opening the door.

"Here, it's a bit of a step-down. I'll give you a hand." He said. I swung both of my feet out as he held the back of my arm with his large hand, and I would've been fine.

But I'm me, and I have to fill my daily awkward quota.

I started to climb down, my back to Eddie as I side-stepped out of the van, the coldness of his rings sending mini shockwaves from where he held my arm and wrist when my ankle went from under me, making me fall sideways.

I squinted my eyes, sure that I was going to hit the pavement. An absolute goner that was going to end up in the hospital before dying of pure embarrassment. But the ground never came to meet me.

Instead, I was pulled tight against something, a pair of arms wrapped around my back and legs. It felt like all the breath had left my body, and a strong smell of cigarettes and sandalwood filled my nose.

I opened my eyes as Eddie gripped me to his chest, looking down at me as he held me bridal style. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as his dark orbs explored my face.

I don't know if he did it on purpose or not, but he rubbed his finger in circles across my knee where his hand gripped my leg. The air felt electric, almost as if it could shock us both if we moved. His arm was on my back and I was glad it wasn't a few inches lower.

I was almost certain his dark eyes flickered down to my lips and lingered for a second, before quickly returning to look me in the eye.

We looked at each other in silence. I felt his hot breath fan my face and caught the smell of mint. I was almost certain he was going to say something, but he just cleared his throat.

"Sorry,"

"Are you okay?" He said at the same time as me.

"Oh uh. I'm okay." I stammered through my words, "Thank you."

We looked at each other again, and a small part of me didn't want him to put me down, but that idea was quickly erased from my mind when Eddie cleared his throat again, gradually lowering me till I was on my feet. I could tell that the awkwardness I was feeling was mutual as we both shuffled our feet.

The workshop was on the other side of town, it was a long walk home without the car, and I didn't want to trouble Eddie with driving me home. But it was like he was reading my mind because the next thing he said was,

"You should come in and sit down," He motioned to the desk and chair beside him, piled high with paperwork. "It's supposed to rain on and off all day. I'll drive you home after I take a look at this baby." He unhooks the car from the truck before pushing it into the shop.

"Oh, thanks. You don't have to." I replied, moving towards the desk and placing down my book bag, desperate to keep the nerves out of my voice.

"My pleasure." He smiled.

He bent into the driver's side, fiddling for something.

"Oh, there's a knack for popping the hood, here I can-" I started, but before I could finish he had done it, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Eddie looked at me, and suddenly the concrete floor became very interesting, "Just a bit of pressure and some elbow grease should do the trick." He says, climbing back out of the car.

He opens up the hood and takes a look as I sit down and place my bag on my lap. I want to ask if he minds me doing homework, but I don't want to look like I'm ignoring him or being rude.

"Ok so, " he started, and I suddenly felt a drop in my stomach. What if my baby was fucked, and I could never drive her again? What if all she was good for anymore was spare parts? I was so worked up about never being able to drive my girl again that I completely forgot about the guy inspecting her.

My freak out must've been clear on my face because Eddie's face became very soft and gentle,

"Hey, hey, hey, don't worry, it's only a faulty spark plug and wire casings. You're alignments a bit off and your transmission is failing, but it's nothing I can't fix for you. There are some other things here and there that I'll need to get some parts for, and no offence but your car is an older model so it might take a while to get them all." He gave me a small smile, easing my nerves slightly. Eddie sounded like he knew what he was doing, so clearly he did. Right?

"I'll be honest, none of that makes sense," I said, as he walks around and pulls out the chair for me. He's surprisingly chivalrous, opening car doors and pulling out chairs. I don't know what I expected him to be like, but it wasn't this. "I don't think she's ever been looked at after Dad renovated her." I sat in the chair and wonder why I ever thought my dad was a reliable person as Eddie walks into what I assume is a storage closet.

"Here," he says, handing me a radio and a box of tapes that were just around, "Pick out some music, I wanna see what you choose." He had put the car on a lift earlier and was in the process of raising her, a skateboard and toolbox beside him. Once he was happy she was at a reasonable height he dropped to his knees beside the board, then flipped himself over so he was lying flat against it, using it to push himself under the car.

I was flicking through the mix tapes he had when one stood out to me. Dad used to play it for Dustin as a kid, which in hindsight seems a bit weird but at the time it made him laugh and dance like crazy.

Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpions started to echo around the building, and I hesitantly pulled out my economics textbook and attempted to try and understand this nonsense they tried to teach us, while Eddie just silently bopped his foot along to the tempo.

Silence passed between us as I attempted to do homework and Eddie tried to fix my car, the only sound surrounding us being the music from Eddie's radio. Once homework was completed I started on a piano lesson plan for Joanna Kelly, a girl who lived down the street from us, I gave her parents a discount given how nice they were to myself and Dustin growing up.

When that was over, I slyly pulled out a math notebook and began to work out my expenses. Eddie could try and sugarcoat it as much as he wants, but I knew this service wasn't going to be cheap. I mean, needing to get replacement parts? It's got to cost at least $2000+, which is definitely more than I make teaching kids how to play twinkle twinkle and three blind mice. I'd landed a job over the summer at the Hawkins Hypnotic Record Store, but only as a way to save up for college.

Now I'll have to apply for scholarships if I want any hope of getting into somewhere decent. That meant taking on more extracurriculars and writing a killer college essay.

Ms Kelly had advertised on the intercom the other week about finding someone to help out in the front office for extra credit. Looks like I was going to be taking her up on it.

I'm barely going to have time to breathe let alone sleep.

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Listening to Eddie banging and crashing around the car had me nervous, but only a small bit. Eddie knew what he was doing, his uncle didn't seem like the kind of guy to give Eddie a job based on familial connections.

Suddenly Eddie comes flying out from under the car, grease and oil covering his face and sweat glistening along his arms, his tattoos practically shining.

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts about how much this was going to cost me that I didn't even notice him talking to me.

"Hey, Y/n?" He asked with a touch of confusion, "Hellooo?"

My head snapped to look at him, his voice bringing me to my senses.

"Sorry, I was lost in my own mind. Worrying about stuff y'know?"

He rubbed the grease off his face with a cloth and a soft grin, his eyes closed. I took this moment to examine him a bit further. He looked like he had strong arms, and his tattoos were kinda impressive and cool. I heard he paid his friend a 3 months supply of weed, and they did them with a pin and some type of ink.

But I don't know if any of that is real.

"What does a pretty girl like you have to be worrying about?"

Pretty girl.

The words bounced around my stomach before settling between my thighs. I squeezed them together as if on instinct, the words rolling over my skin like waves.

I remained silent, not too sure how to answer that, my mind was blank as I tried to ignore the sudden throbbing I felt.

A few moments pass by and Eddie sits up and looks at me, his hair coming loose from the hair tie.

"Hey, could you pass me the wrench? It's on the counter over there, it's the one with the round-"

"I know what a wrench looks like Eddie, I'll grab it now," I said shuffling around to the counter to look for it, silently loving the way his name felt on my tongue

5, maybe 6 minutes pass, and I've no luck. I had handed him a wrench, but apparently, it wasn't the right wrench. So now I was back staring at a workspace full of stupid tools with stupid names.

I hadn't even heard Eddie come up behind me until I felt his breath.

"Here, let me help" He spoke softly, "It's the least I can do,"

I wanted to tell him that he was fixing my car, and it was the least I could do to find the stupid wrench when suddenly his hand was on my waist as he moved to step beside me. His fingertips brushed off me like tiny flames searing into the exposed skin, and I knew what was coming next.

I tried to resist it, believe me. But I can't help it. I've never been able to, it's my number one weakness. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as I braced myself.

His fingers trailed along the base of my back. I managed to suppress the moan, but that was about it. Like always I arched my back and jerked sideways in a fit of the most unattractive laughs you can picture.

Eddie didn't have to pull his hand away, I had already squirmed from his grip as he looked at me stunned. A toothy grin formed on his face as he crossed his arms.

"What was that?" He said laughing slightly.

Looking at him laugh made me laugh more. It was like someone flipped my giddy switch. I turned to the countertop and bent over on it, determined to catch my breath with my hands clasped behind my head.

"Oh god," I said breathlessly, "I'm sorry, I just have a really ticklish back."

I couldn't see his face, but when he spoke he whispered,

"Heh, yeah," He said lowly, "That's definitely a first. I'll try not and accidentally tickle you in the future." I felt like he was grinning, but I was too embarrassed now to even look him in the eye.

I nearly made a potential sex noise in front of Eddie Munson.

After a bit of silence, I hear him say "Found it, it was a torque wrench I was looking for, sorry for the confusion."

His voice had become very soft, and once again we were wrapped in silence, only now it wasn't uncomfortable.

As the day went on, and while I was fretting over how I was going to pay for my car and most of the house bills, a few people came in to drop off their cars, barely exchanging words with the guy classed as the town freak. Eddie didn't look too bothered as they tossed him their keys before turning on their heel and walking away, but something told me deep down it annoyed him.

But what could I do? I doubt he'd want any consolation from me, he barely knows me.

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"Well, from the looks of things, the repairs shouldn't take more than 3 to 4 weeks. Maybe 5." He told me, which downhearted me slightly, I mean a whole month without my car? Maybe more? That was a whole month getting the bus to school, adding an extra touch of hell onto the day.

"Oh, okay. Would you be able to give me a rough idea of the price? It's ok if you can't, I really appreciate you doing this for me." I gave him a slight smile and watched curiously as he looked to the ground and walked behind the counter. He almost looked nervous.

"It's not going to be cheap, as you probably guessed, but luckily for you," He released a breath that sounded like he had been holding onto it for a while, resting his fist underneath his face "Flattery works with me."

I gave a small chuckle, relieved that he was easing the tension.

"I'll write up a docket next time you're here, we can sort something out then." He said calmly, moving to sit back in his chair. Meanwhile, my heart had started beating a mile a minute.

"Next time I'm here?" I asked curiously

"Yeah, next time you're free and I'm working on your car. It's kind of nice to have someone around who appreciates good music," He was flipping through papers on the countertop, and I was praying he didn't look up anytime soon and see the mixture of surprise and confusion on my face. He looked at the clock on the wall behind him and I saw that I had spent the whole day here, and it was almost 9 pm.

"C'mon it's getting late. Plus now you definitely can't walk home, it's too dark. My car is parked out front, I'll give you a lift." He pulled his keys off the rack and threw on his jacket that he took in from the back of the van earlier.

"Um, thanks. Means a lot." And suddenly I was back to tripping over my words in front of him.

He likes having me around?

He appreciates my music taste?

Edward Munson, what are you doing to me?

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part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

#eddie x y/n #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson stranger things #eddie the freak munson #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie x reader #eddie x you #stranger things eddie #stranger things eddie munson #stranger things #slow burn #friends to lovers

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theangiediary · 1 year ago

Note

Happy WW! What do they think their brother (or other family member if you like) does better than anybody else in the whole wide world?

There's this paragraph in take the things you love by @hathfrozen :

Which I adore. So the thing Dean thinks Sam does better than anyone is sleeping in Baby. Sure not many other people do, but John was always restless when needs made it happen growing up, and Dean is very light sleeper so while nice, to be so close and bundled with Sam, the smallest forest noise or strong breeze would wake him (always alert, always watching out for Sammy). Occasionally girls would catch a couple hours after sex, but that's pure exhaustion and drink and not the same thing at all.

Sam... okay again, I don't want people to think I don't like him but honestly, for most of the series I'm not sure what Sam would say Dean is "the best" at. There's some mid-late moments where it's just "hunting" overall but idk if that's Sam's emotional truth or the fact that they know they're God/fate's favorite toys at that point, or both... Soulless called himself a better hunter than Dean, and while early seasons Dean might say "Dad is the best"/"Dad'll be fine"/hero worship John, Sam.. wouldn't, re: Dean. Sam left because he was always thinking someone wouldn't come back, ya know? Also the best of the what, 3(?) hunters they knew wasn't really saying anything.

Same kinda concept for like, early Sam wouldn't say Dean was the smartest, or the kindest, or the best at cars, or getting witnesses to talk, or...

Actually maybe "lucky"? Like, their lives really, really suck. No one's saying having your mom die as a kid is lucky, but things just seem.. easier, for Dean. Maybe he's best at obeying John (snide) (I know other people answered this too ✊), but since there's not much competition let's tie it into this larger, "Dean's damn good at adapting". The discount bin always has something Dean can make a meal out of, the prettiest girls in school fall over themselves to take him home (and he never gets bullied for his grungy jeans), doesn't get caught when he uses ridiculous covers like"Bikini Inspector" badges, I mean Faith alone.... Some of these things are practiced skills, some things are fate, some are just hidden from Sam by Dean.

Sorry, I write/think about Sam with a lot of envy/lust toward Dean. And love, but it's.. complicated. Possessive, because Dean is worth possessing. Dean is duty/loyal to Sam, who is special because he is Dean's. That's his little brother, who is incredible but there's lots of incredible people in the world that Dean wouldn't be devastated to lose. So Sammy's The Best title is something intimate. Vs Dean is like a jewel to Sam, anyone would be grateful to have him but they can't, he's wasted a little under John (gonna get him killed), but he belongs to Sam. His The Best title is something everyone gets to experience, but maybe can't see, because they don't have all of him like Sam does.

Does that make sense? I feel like I've just been in bite-y, baby dom Sam mode recently. Or more accurately, edible sweet submissive Dean 🫣.

#thank you timezones ITS STILL WEDNESDAY #💋 and thank you maggie!

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smokingcaterpillar · 1 year ago

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King of Hearts ♥️♣️♦️♠️

Idk why I’m nervous to post this lol maybe because this is a more personal UPG experience with me and Loki. This might be a tad lengthy btw.

I know this is something I don't have to share, but lately I've been reflecting on it and realize just how much of a difference Loki has made within this semi-traumatic situation I’ve dealt with most of my life. So I want to share this beautiful thing. Beautiful to me anyway. And through several different methods of divination, he's assured me he's okay with me doing so ♥️

TW: mentions of heart surgery, hospitals, panic attacks

When I was a kid my father had multiple bypass heart surgery and valve replacement, and has been in and out of the hospital ever since for various reasons including heart stuff. To put it simply: over the years, I had developed a strong aversion to heartbeats. For example, if I gave someone a hug or was in someone’s arms with my head resting on their chest, I hated- absolutely hated -hearing their heart. Or even when I put in ear plugs and could hear my own. I had it in my head that I would suddenly hear it stop. A fear that stemmed from being able to hear my father’s artificial valve tick within his chest just by standing next to him, as well as hearing the beeping of hospital machines monitoring his vitals, fearing I would suddenly hear the ticking and beeps no more. I never told anybody this, probably because I thought I might offend someone. Like, “Here let me adjust my position against you, I don’t wanna hear your heart, sorry.” sounded a little harsh to me 😂 so I never said anything. I was probably worrying about that more than I needed to tbh.

Fast forward to the past couple years. Something I didn’t expect to happen at all 🫠

Loki, being clever without even trying, ever so slowly began showing me a new perspective on heartbeats.

Not long after He came into my life, I learned about the tale of Loki eating the heart of Gullveig, and subsequently would notice other devotees associating beautiful artworks of anatomical hearts with him as well. And I simply thought, “Awe, that’s nice.” And nothing more. Lol, since then I’ve joked with him sometimes that he surely is a vampire, which I feel he secretly enjoys 🤭

Then came the tale of how Loki (as Vé) may have contributed in human creation by giving “..color to the human complexion.” Blood. And my perspective shifted more, even softened a bit.

It wasn’t until six months ago that Loki began showing how fond he was of heartbeats (again, UPG of my aspect of him).

There were many different ways in which he showed his love of hearts; the sound, the feeling, its power, its effects, and yes, even its fragility- the part that I feared most. I won’t go into detail about how those walls of fear came down brick by brick, as most of them were in private moments of various forms of affection…but I will say that my eyes now do soften at the mention of hearts. And at the sound of them. Something I never thought would become untainted. Because He was in all of it. I can now see hearts through his eyes. And no longer do they appear to me as a frightening, scheming creature inside of our bodies waiting to carry out our demise. I am so grateful and joyous for that ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I still hear my father’s valve tick when I’m next to him and it’s quiet enough; I'm still prone to panic attacks where my bpm goes to 150 for fifteen minutes to an hour, I'm still prone to PVCs when I lose too much potassium or haven't slept well- all of which are now few and far between -but the feelings of dread and paranoia that plague me for days after something like that happens has finally tapered off. Replaced with fascination and appreciation for this muscle that keeps me alive.

God of Transformations, my King of Hearts, thank you for your patience in allowing me to see a dark part of my mind flash with vibrancy like a gem in the light. It took nearly thirty years, but we're here ✨🫀

Artist profile: rybrig on DeviantArt

#shadow work #lokean #loki devotee #vé #upg #loki deity #air meets blood #lodurr #artist linked #healing

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justthingsforme2see · 2 months ago

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feeling lost

ughhh idk ever since i got my period ive been so down about myself. i feel like i'm failing in life and invisible. my coworker gets all the guys (guys i don't like but I just wonder why no one even wants to look at me, despite all the compliments i get on how beautiful i am) and it makes me a little upset. My brothers getting so much attention even tho he doesn't rly seem to care about anyone that much. My other brothers in a relationship. All these things are starting to make me feel like i have nothing to offer, but i know that's just my emotions trying to get to me. I pay attention to everyone but myself lately.

my manager was talking about hiring someone new and she said she wanted to hire another 'for-lifer'... and it almost made me spiral a little bit. is this what I'm destined for? my brother's getting all these big academic and athletic achievements, my other brother is starting to get more stream subscribers and is in a good relationship, and I'm still single and scared to make art and post it on the internet 😑 but i just don't want to settle! It makes me sad because despite that I can't get a single freaking yes for ANYTHING I do unless it's out of nowhere miracle and im like WOAHHHH but for once I just want to have the credentials someone's looking for yknow??? and even if I make things, they rarely get attention no matter how much i try. i feel so worthless. I just want to be seen for once. seen positively, because I feel like if I am seen, Im being bullied or criticized or made fun of, or my mind just doesn't process when I get positive reactions for others. I'm scared I'm not going to get this really great job I applied for. and I rarely have any creative spark anymore. I don't have any prospects and I've been waiting around for years for 'the one' to show up and I'm too much of a recluse to even find them or try. and even when I go out it's like everyone's scared to talk to me or is just rude to me. and on top of that i can't find anyone i like around here!!! the only person i've found who i truly was interested in ended up with some stupid guy!!!! UGH

anyway, back to career. I keep trying to 'let go let god' but it's so freaking difficult. My biggest miracles of blessings come literally when i'm like this and i know that but i just feel like i'm going to run that out and I'm trying to manifest like everyone says and i just... idk i guess i'm impatient. i'm scared that No one is going to hire me even though i keep applying and trying and doing what i can (because I'm juggling so much emotionally and physically that I can't even put my ALLLL into everything I want to do) I'm scared i'm going to be stuck at my job forever and nothing I make is going to blow up. I'm scared I'm never going to have businesses and success and the big house with a farm and travel and a beautiful marriage. i'm scared. I want it so badly. i have a vision board for this year but none of it has happened 😭 but i know I'm not making the content I truly want to make that would probably help me get there. but i don't even freaking know what i want to make anymore. i've been trying to please people for so long that i don't even know. because no one in the town believes in art and actually making a career from it including my mom, who i've tried to please for god knows how long because of god knows what. i'm so sick of this. I haven't cried over feeling pathetic in YEARS but i just can't hold it in anymore. i feel pathetic, and exhausted, and I don't know what to do. I've been holding my head high and trying to be strong and calm and resilient but i'm just ready to break down. i don't wanna be struggling paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life. i have so much to offer the world if only they'd pay attention!!! And I know I'm in one of the better positions because I'm not out on the streets or in a terrible place with no car struggling to pay bills. I'm extremely lucky and extremely grateful. but i just wish something would budge. when I make sfc it struggles to even get 10 views. my youtube videos only get 40 views if im lucky. and I'm scared to make what I truly put my heart into because what if it gets crumbs? but i still want to try but...ugh, so many buts. i'm just so sick of this.

I wish i was thin and fit i think literally everything would fall into place LOL

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rutht444 · 5 months ago

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first psychiatrist appt june 19 2024

Where do I even begin?

First of all it felt so OFF when i arrived inside the building. Always trust your gut and when I tell you everything was telling me it was wrong. First the receptionist was rude af didn't help me at all. People giving me weird looks. I think im so mad and sad that i was excited to see one and finally getting help, and my experience was bad. When i first met him he was nice but omg the lack of empathy, the lack of questions, making me feel stupid? He was like so what's going on do you have any trauma, like wtf. He didn't even ask me alot of questions about my ptsd, how my symptoms are like huh? Did not review what i was feeling at the moment. Just sat there and cried and pescribed me two medications. he asked me what happened and what did I take and did not seem to care if it was triggering?? That bothered me the most. I tried to be strong and not cry too much. Did not ask me if i was okay. I just felt rushed and I didn't like that. like why tf would u ask me what happened and relieved that moment and try to remember what happened. I think that threw me off. I just need to get this out of my mind. Like what if he triggered my ptsd and i wanted to kill myself. Luckily right now I dont feel like that at all. I just suffer from anxiety and depression. My symptoms for ptsd I think are acute. I'm just anxious most of the time and can't do simple tasks. I dissociate most of the time thats the main problem. Also I can never sleep i always sleep around 3am. But as of right now, I dont feel suicidal I haven't felt like that in a while. I just feel numb like idk what happened in the last 6 months I didnt realized I was so depressed. My problem is feeling unmotivated most of the time. I'm just so thankful for my sister to reach out when it was the perfect timing. Like even with the pharmacy was acting difficult. It was God and the universe protecting me. I am so grateful and thankful this happened. If i got my meds right away, i would of taken them. But so glad I didnt. My sister was there for me when I needed her. I could cry because all of this is overwhelming thats why I put it off for so many years. I can't believe I i was struggling since 2017. I can't believe I never took care of myself. Its just crazy how long I struggled for. 7 years of struggling with this. It's time to take action and help myself. My goal is to take care of my health spirtually,mentally and physically. I know it's going to take time but I recovered so much of my symptoms already. I recovered from having an eating disorder, I know i can concentrate more, I know my triggers, I'm so grateful God made sure I am alive today. Thankful fo my well being, my sister, my bella, my parents for not pressuring me to do something I dont want to do. i want to see what my life would look for a year from now. I am ready for change, I am ready for meds, I am ready to cure my anxiety and depression.

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philanthropistearthchild · 2 years ago

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Ngl one of the reasons why I wanted to back away for a bit was that I was painfully disappointed last Monday, and although I completely understand 101%, the feeling of dismay was so strong that it made me rethink a lot of things. I know we are not in a committed relationship, I know my place, but having felt those disappointments so strongly made me so anxious that I just needed a time out. In a span of that time I just needed to know, do you see a romantic future with me or am I just another buddy for you? Remember when you said you know you know? Please let me know. Whatever you answer I trust you like I have always been doing, that what you say is the truth, and I want you to trust me that I will respect that. I just think life is too fleeting to hide my honest to God feelings and I know you know it too, I mean youve been very distant lately and Idk if its all work or there's some different factors to it as well. I just want you to know that I am hurting with all this confusion and I want to know what kind of boundaries you want and I will see through it. I will honor it as long as youre honest with me. I'm sorry if I am putting you on the spot, I dont really know what to do with all these emotions except tell you about it.

MP for EA

at this moment waiting for what he has to say

no matter what happens i am grateful

but rn im a ball of incredible anxiety and pain

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mooodyblue · 2 years ago

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call me | 70s!elvis x fem!reader

summary: you and elvis meet at a time where he needs someone the most.

warnings: angst, gets nsfw at the end but not too crazy. mentions of pills, loneliness and idk it's kinda sad. sorry if i missed anything

word count: 3,029

note: written while listening to call me by kali uchis <3 i don't know why everything i write is always sad, maybe i'm portraying my own feelings on elvis. WHO KNOWS! i honestly wanted to write more to this but i needed to stop myself lol i skimmed through for errors so if i missed any, that's my bad. if i read my writing over again, im deleting it 🤷🏼 may contain inaccuracies. i write everything with the real elvis in mind but you could probably imagine aus!elvis if you wanted.

❤︎

elvis was grateful for everything in his life. he was happy to be able to make millions of people’s lives a little better by singing the music he loved.

but god, he was so lonely.

going back to his hotel room, show after show, it was tiring. he loved performing but coming back to a quiet room after hours of social interaction left him feeling empty. of course, he would occasionally bring a girl to his hotel room but that was never enough for him. the sex was always great, but sometimes he just wanted someone to talk to. the women who came to his room never cared about talking, they just wanted him.

he was having one of those nights. finishing up his final show of the month before flying back to memphis for a few weeks. he planned to leave in the morning so he could get a few hours of sleep before heading out.

you happened to be staying in the same hotel elvis was staying. seeing elvis was a dream come true. it had been an awful week for you but nothing was going to stop you from seeing him, that's for sure. it was a chance for you to forget the real world for a little bit.

oh, but of course something had to go wrong on this day. your stupid, little hotel key wasn’t working. that or the door was stuck.

“well, i sure hope you're not tryin’ to break in my hotel room.” a man said in a strong, accent that sounded awfully too familiar to you. he walked closer to you, taking his glasses off.

you looked up at him, then at the number on the hotel door. stupid, stupid, stupid. it was the wrong room. yours was next door. you had just tried to break into elvis presley’s hotel room. “oh….you're-i….i wasn’t-...it's not what it looks like-” you stammered.

he laughed and pat you on the shoulder. “darlin’, don't even worry about it. i can tell by the look on your face that you got the wrong room.”

“i’m so sorry, elvis. really! it's been a long week, i just wasn't paying attention.”

elvis shook his head,”don't apologize. d’ya need anything?” he asked. you were taken back by the question, even if it was a simple one. how do you even answer that question?

“i don't want to be a burden-”

“definitely not a burden. i can’t sleep after a show anyway.” he unlocked the door to his hotel room, “you did just try to break into my room, it's the least i can do.” he joked.

you wandered into his room, looking around. there were only a few clothing items hanging in the closet and the room seemed as if nobody was staying there, besides the various pill bottles you noticed on the side table. it did smell like him though, in a good way.

“i never leave my room when i’m tourin’ except to perform. that's why there's not much to look at, sorry if you're disappointed.” he chuckled. he placed his glasses on the dresser and slid his shoes off, setting them aside. “make yourself at home! i’m gonna shower and freshen up.” you nodded as you watched him make his way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

you sat on the edge of his bed, still wondering why you were invited into his room. you've read about the girls he brings into his hotel rooms, there was no way that's why he invited you in. you loved elvis, you thought he was very handsome but you weren't that kind of girl. it was definitely tempting to snoop around his room but you had too much respect for the man to do that. his personal business was not yours.

he opened the bathroom door, glancing over to see if you were still there. you turned your head towards him, flashing a small smile at him as he ran a towel through his hair.

“have you just been sitting there? you haven't even taken your shoes off! i promise i don't bite!” he hung his towel up and made his way to pour himself and you a drink. “unless you want me to, of course.” he grinned.

“oh come on, you don't even know my name.” you giggled, slipping your shoes off. he handed you a drink and sat beside you.

“alright then, what's your name?” he asked.

“y/n.”

“lovely name, y/n.” he took a sip from his drink. “so, y/n….”

you turned your body slightly to look him in the eyes. “elvis…i-i hope you know i’m not that kind of girl…y’know that sleeps around. you're a very nice looking man but-”

his eyes widened at you, almost as if he was offended. “woah, wait a minute. who said anything about sleepin’ together?! i was just joking about the biting thing! you said you had a bad week, i thought you might wanna talk about it. is that why you think i invited you in here?” he exclaimed. “i’m not all about sex, y’know!”

ah–now you felt bad, you felt the heat from your cheeks turning red in embarrassment. “oh lord, i’m making a fool of myself tonight.” you muttered, drinking the entire glass he handed to you earlier. you don't even drink often and the liquid burned as it went down your throat but god, after tonight, you didn't care. “look, i’m sorry. apparently my big mouth continues to fail me.” you stood up. “can't keep a job, can't keep my relationships and apparently i can’t even talk to elvis presley!”

he pulled you back down onto the bed next to him. “let’s just start over, sound good?”

you nodded, apologizing again. “i’m sorry. i just–seeing you tonight was amazing. i lost my job last week, just got out of a awful relationship and all my friends have been avoiding me ever since. i was supposed to be here with my best friend but she won't talk to me so i had to come alone and to make things worse, i almost broke into your hotel room.” you sniffled. “i’m a disaster.”

“don't say that.” he frowned. “first of all, if you hadn't tried breaking in here, you wouldn't be talking to me. second, you're not a disaster, don't ever say that about yourself. one bad week doesn't determine your whole life.”

elvis stood up from the bed, walking over to the window showing the night sky over the city. he leaned against the wall, drink in hand while staring out. you couldn't help but stare at his tall figure, dressed in basic black pajamas with his hair still slightly damp from his shower. it was the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

“i ain’t ever said this to anyone. but my heart is telling me to trust you.” he took a sip from his drink and continued to stare out the window. “do you know how many friends i’ve lost since….” he pointed outside. “all this? all these shows? all people ever want from me is money or expensive shit, nobody ever asks how i’m doin’” he stood there silent for a minute. “i finish a show, hop on a plane, do another show, sit in a hotel room by myself and just rot. that's all i do.”

“but the girls-”

he looked over at you. “the girls?” he scoffed. “gotta do something with all that adrenaline.”

you looked down at your hands, still holding the empty glass that was handed to you earlier. the urge to pour yourself another drink was strong, but you were too nervous to get up from the bed. who would have known that someone who has made such a huge impact in music, was struggling so much? it broke your heart listening to him tell you his troubles, you could tell he had been holding it in for so long.

you looked up at him again. “do you enjoy it?”

“enjoy what?”

“performing.”

he sat in a chair in the corner of the room facing her. he sighed. “i enjoy making people happy.” you stood up and made your way to the spot he was standing in near the window, crossing your arms and looking down at him.

“but are you happy?”

elvis had never really been asked that before. he didn’t know how to answer that question. to be honest, he wasn't unhappy. but he wasn't thrilled about how his life was going either. the colonel refused to let him leave the states, he was very much overworked and exhausted, but no matter how tired or how much pain he was in, he went on to perform a hell of a show for hundreds of people every night. seeing the fans happy is what brought him so much joy.

he sat there in silence, not looking at you, almost as if he was holding back tears. god, he was so overwhelmed. he didn't even know you and he was sitting here, opening up his more vulnerable side to you. “i don't know if i can answer that question.” he murmured.

crouching down in front of him, his tear-filled eyes glanced up at you. “can i hug you, elvis?” he nodded, reaching his breaking point and letting tears fall from his blue eyes. you sat on his thigh and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving an awkward, yet comforting side hug. it was nice. the smell of old spice and aftershave giving you a sense of peace.

“thank you.” he whispered. “i’ve been feelin’ so lost, so alone….i have nobody to talk to.”

“do you have a show tomorrow?” he shook his head. “‘m going back to memphis tomorrow.”

you got up from his lap and went over to the desk, reaching for a pen and ripping off part of a small hotel notepad to jot down your number. “if you need anything, and i mean anything…..i want you to call me. if you feel lonely or just need to escape for a bit, call me. i don't care what time it is or what day it is, please reach out to me.” you begged.

he smiled at you. “i may just take you up on that offer.”

a few days passed. there was no sign of elvis, you hadn't received any calls since you saw him that night. it was a little worrying. maybe he didn't like you or maybe he was embarrassed? you tried to not let it bother you.

you were back home in california, spending each day checking the papers for new job listings and trying to keep yourself busy. the only time the phone rang was when your so called best friend finally called you, apologizing and asking about the concert. there was no explanation for them ignoring you for so long so you didn't say a word about the night you had with elvis.

the day was dragging on, it was hot and musty outside and the neighbors upstairs were arguing for the third time that evening. you were sat on the couch staring at the ceiling as a movie played in the background when the phone range. you turned your head towards the phone, almost afraid to answer it. picking it up, you nervously held it to your ear. “..hello?”

“is this y/n?”

your eyes widened. it was him. “elvis?” you gasped.

you could hear a slight chuckle on the other end. “hi darlin’, sorry for not calling. once i got to here, i just slept and uh….” he cleared his throat. “i was embarrassed…about-y’know.”

“not embarrassed enough cause you decided to call me” you joked.

“well, you got me there.” he laughed. “i wasn't feelin’ all that great so, i thought i’d suck it up and finally give you a call. how are you doin’?”

the two of you caught up. it hadn't been that long since you first met but it felt much longer. you rambled on about your friends and not being able to find a job, he rambled on about the colonel booking more dates.

“why don't you come down to memphis?”

“oh elvis, i don't have that kind of money–”

“did you really think i was gonna make you buy your own ticket?” he interrupted. “i can get you on the next flight down here. i just really need to see you.”

you didn't pass up on that offer. the flight was that same night, he had even arranged someone to pick you up and bring you to graceland. none of this felt real to you. you both spent nearly every second together, outside and inside of his home. he opened up to you even more, expressing his feelings about his mom, the colonel and the many friends who used him throughout the years. you told him about your hometown, how you didn't have many friends growing up and the struggle of keeping a job. it was like that for a few weeks.

eventually, people were starting to question his relationship with you. it wouldn't be long before the colonel started getting involved, especially with the new vegas shows coming up.

one morning, you were greeted by jerry, one of the few friends elvis trusted. he gave you a slight smile, wishing you good morning and asking how you've been. “i’ve haven't seen him like that in years, y’know.” he said.

you looked at him, puzzled. “like what?”

“happy.” you opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. “and for once, it's not because of the pills.”

you didn't see him much that day due to him being off recording an album, but you stayed at graceland, thinking about what jerry had said to you earlier. there was no denying it, you had feelings for him and you were positive he felt the same towards you. there was the occasional flirting and hand holding, maybe a few friendly kisses here and there but nothing more. now, it was just a matter of when elvis would confess to you his true feelings.

he returned home later that night, lighting up when he saw you dozing off on the couch. you jolted awake upon hearing the door shut. “hi, doll.” he whispered. “sorry for wakin’ ya.” sitting up, you rubbed at your eyes and got up from the couch. “i didn't mean to fall asleep, how was your day?”

he shrugged. “the usual. ‘m just ready to sleep” he sighed.

you hummed, stretching and wincing at the slight cracks your bones made. “i’ll let you sleep then, see you in the morning?”

“actually,” he took your hands in his, “would you sleep with me tonight?” he asked. his hands were warm against yours, you felt your heart skip a beat. “okay.” you responded, not giving it a second thought.

he took you to his room upstairs, you had been in there several times already but it was different this time. you sat in his bed and waited for him to return from the bathroom as he washed up. looking around, you couldn't help but notice the small bottle of sleeping pills next to him. he had always complained to you about never being able to fall asleep, maybe he just wanted some company tonight.

you watched as he stepped out of the bathroom and into his bed, bracing yourself for the conversation you were about to have with him.

“i-i spoke to jerry this morning.” you mumbled. his eyebrows rose, “oh? was he sayin’ anything bad about me?” you let out a small laugh. “no, no. nothin’ like that.” you stretched your legs out, playing with the hem of his blanket. “he said you've been happy lately.”

“i see.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “he said it was because of me.” you blurted out. elvis’s face turned red, “ah…that man..” he muttered, covering his face with his hands.

you removed his hands away from his face, giggling at him. “c’mon, sweet boy.” his face turned even more red. “don't call me that!” he felt his heart flutter at the pet name.

despite the many love songs he sang almost everyday, it had been awhile since he felt this much love for someone. he was absolutely, madly in love with you despite only knowing you for just a few weeks. your presence filled that emptiness that had been lingering in his heart for so long.

he looked away from you in embarrassment. “you can be honest with me, it's okay.” you squeezed his knee. elvis turned his head back towards you, fiddling with his hands nervously.

“i like you a lot, y/n. you breaking into my hotel room-”

“that was an accident!” you yelled.

“damn, honey! lower your voice!” he yelled back. “i’m trying to confess to you, let me finish! ever since that night, i haven't been able to stop thinkin’ about you. you don't know how bad i needed someone like you in my life…..baby, it gets lonely. i don't feel like that when i’m with you.”

you cupped his face, staring into his eyes lovingly. “can i kiss you?” you asked, softly. “yes, please.”

you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his beautiful, soft lips that you adored so much. he tasted like mint from the toothpaste he used earlier mixed with your cherry chapstick and you wouldn't have it any other way.

you always imagined this day, but never once thought you'd ever get to kiss elvis presley. he always kissed fans during his shows. unfortunately, he missed you at the last show. but now you finally had your time and boy, was it worth the wait.

he pulled you onto his lap, deepening the kiss. you rolled your hips against his, forcing a small groan to escape his lips. the two of you continued for a few minutes till he pulled away, breathless and looking at you, pupils blown and with lust in his eyes. “baby, if we keep goin’, i’m not gonna last long.”

“mmm, i guess we'll have to find out, won't we?” you grinned.

#elvis x reader #elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis #elvis movie #elvis x y/n #ill post this on ao3 later #i cringed writing the last part idk how people write smut

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hcuyk · 3 years ago

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synopsis. eric has lived across the country for three years, preventing you from seeing your best friend, until the day he throws a party at his house in your hometown—without inviting you

pairing. childhoodfriend!eric x gn!reader

genres. childhood friends to strangers, angst, some humor/fluff, overall hurt fic

warnings. alcohol intake, profanities, idk this was really poorly written :( bumblebee is used as a term of endearment (get it cause...the b...anyway...)

word count. 3.3k

perspective. second person omniscient

author's note. a fic dedicated to elle (mavericsohn), a beloved moot that i never show enough appreciation for. with every fic i release, you're always praising me and sharing your thoughts, something i'm so incredibly grateful for, and i really do hope this fic makes up for all my lackluster responses when you're the sweetest person on earth :(( also i really miss eric

taglist. [ @mavericsohn ] @stealanity @yourjaylaks @wooyoung-a @kimaya2209 @armysantiny @changminurheart @moonieric @sunfics @fullsunfluff @lcvekdy @deputyjuyeon @simpforsunwoo @nyujjan @jaekiths @i6swoo @fairycob @karsohn @nilesig @twentysixofmays @changmin-wrlds @lisori @nanamioo @enhacolor @kyswoo @sunwoahkim @jaerisdiction @yunkiwii @ja4hyvn @choielyssa

In a life where you’ve spent eighteen out of twenty-one years together, you would think that the recent three would be nothing to you.

After all, what’s three years without your best friend when you’ve known him since birth?

The expression is often used as an exaggeration, but it’s true for the relationship you’ve had with Eric. His parents and yours have attended the same college and have been friends ever since, so it came as no surprise when they brought their eight-month-old son to meet the newly borned you in the hospital.

Of course, you both didn’t become friends right away. You just came out of the womb and Eric couldn’t even form words, but that never stopped him years later from stealing you from his parents and taking you to the wishing well in his backyard.

Being the rebellious toddler he is, he’s thought about dumping you down there multiple times, but being the bright-headed kid he is, he sat you down right beside him in the grass and chatted with you. He himself was barely capable of making conversation, but senseless babbling while you shoved your fist in your mouth as a response seemed like bonding to him.

Eventually, when your family started visiting his more often, he somehow managed to snatch you and run away into the backyard without getting caught. The same thing would happen where he talks about utter nonsense to a three-year-old kid, but you would gurgle and clap at whatever he said, so he considered it a win.

And those meetups continued for years on end. You’d join him after school and toss your backpack by his front door before racing him to the wishing well. His backyard holds many memories from playing tag to crying in each other’s arms, and you always believed it to be your second home.

Granted, after years of spending every second together, developing feelings for him became inevitable. The dopey grin he wears whenever he’s around you always makes you ponder what it’ll feel like to have your lips on it. You always thought about holding the hands that would tickle you whenever you lied to his face, but alas, as most do in their teenage years, you kept your feelings from him.

Even when friends of his would run up to you, begging you if you had feelings for him because god, he wouldn’t shut up about you. He never could, and despite knowing about him reciprocating your feelings, you stayed silent and so did he. Maybe it was the fear of weakening the strong relationship you already have with him, so none of you bothered to make a move. Nothing would change, anyway.

Well, that was until your college acceptance letters arrived. You had gotten into your dream college while Eric got rejected with each one. He was devastated, and he truly wondered where he had gone wrong, but his parents managed to get him a well paying job for him despite only having a high school diploma.

Unfortunately, this job took place across the country.

It doesn’t seem so bad because long distance relationships happen very often, so you knew you’d have no problem keeping in contact with your best friend for the time period in college. You both agreed on you moving over to where he lived once you graduated, but as years pass, the idea seems impossible with how much you two have been drifting.

Despite having each other’s numbers and social media pages, time zones turned out to play a big role in your relationship. It had no problem putting a stone wall between the two of you, preventing you both from interacting with one another. Eric lived a busy life in New York City while you struggled with your studies in UCLA.

Even when you received summer and winter breaks, Eric got none of that. Not in the position he’s in where he could get fired at any moment in time, therefore never being able to travel across the country for you.

So it surprises you one night when you’re driving down his street to find his house blaring with music and flashing colors. Your parents informed you of the house being vacant for the week since Eric’s parents will be out in Florida, but you’re starting to doubt their words. You park your car across the street and jog to his doorstep, curiosity controlling every muscle in your being.

You knock on the door, and shockingly you’re met with the face of Haknyeon Ju, a close friend of Eric’s from middle school.

“Hey!- Oh my god, Y/N, is that you?”

“Hi Haknyeon,” you warmly greet.

“I didn’t think you’d come! Eric’s inside the kitchen, by the way,” he says, stepping to the side to allow you in.

But you can only stand there frozen, baffled as you stare at him.

“...I’m…I’m sorry, but Eric? Eric is here?”

“It is his going away party, Y/N. And his house,” he says with a chuckle.

“Going away party?”

Haknyeon then pauses. His face falls as he looks at you with an open mouth, speechless.

“You…you didn’t know about Eric, did you?”

You purse your lips and hang your head, kicking the feet beneath you. “No. I’m just-...I’m just going to go, yeah? It’s nice seeing you.”

“Right back at you,” he says, nodding solemnly. He gives you a pitiful smile before closing the door, leaving you alone with the cold nipping at your skin.

You contemplate on what to do because the person you’ve been wanting to see for years is in the house in front of you, and you feel your legs becoming wobbly.

So instead of walking to your car, you decide to wander your way into his backyard, coming face to face with the wishing well. You smile as you stand in front of it, fingers grazing over the stone.

You’re so distracted that you don’t even hear the door open, but your head turns at the sound of steps crashing down the stairs of his porch.

And for the first time in three years, you lock eyes with your so-called ‘best friend’.

He holds two bottles of beer in his hands yet no smile approaches his lips. He doesn’t run to hug you or greet you with a wave.

“Hey Bumblebee,” he murmurs, a nickname you’ve always been fond of until now.

You’re unable to reject the opened bottle of beer when he holds it out in front of you, and you already down a huge chunk of it. He watches with amusement before leaning against the wishing well, propping one of his arms up against the ledge before taking a sip of the alcoholic drink.

“Thanks,” you grumble after drying your lips with your sleeve, avoiding looking him in the eye. If you did so, you’d probably fall into tears right then and there.

“No problem.”

It’s silent for a few minutes, and you swear this has been the quietest you’ve both ever been around the wishing well. Part of you regrets not leaving right when you found out he was here, but another part of you wanted to drop the cold act just to pull him in your arms and hug him until the end of time.

“So, you’re here,” Eric says, attempting to spark conversation without addressing the elephant standing between you two.

“I’m here,” you respond, fingers tapping against the glass bottle. “And so are you.”

“And so am I,” he repeats, chuckling. He shuts up immediately after, realizing that he shouldn’t have laughed. His face falls, and he’s back to chewing on his lips, hesitant on how to push forward with the conversation.

“Apparently you’ve been here for a while now, haven’t you?” With a snort, you take another sip of the beverage, no longer caring about how you’ll have to drive home drunk. It’s something you’d never consider doing, but getting into a car crash sounds just about ideal for the predicament you’re currently situated in.

Eric unwillingly nods, following your actions with a large gulp on his side.

“For two weeks,” he says afterwards.

You then scoff, shaking your head as you press your back against the stone. You look at the booming house in front of you, just in pure disbelief that you both have been in the same city all this time, and he’s mentioned nothing about it to you.

“Two weeks. You’ve been back from New York for two weeks, and your best idea was to leave me on read,” you say out loud, trying to understand the words that have just left your mouth.

“Y/N…”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“Just hear me out, plea-”

“I don’t see you for three years, three years, and then suddenly I have to find out that you’re back home throwing a going away party when I didn’t even know you were here to begin with? For fourteen whole fucking days too. You’ve been here for fourteen days, and neither you nor my parents said dogshit about it. What’s up with that? Oh, and don’t get me started on you thinking you can win me over with a bottle of beer because it’s not working.” You toss the bottle onto the ground out of anger, staring up at the sky as you nod in defeat. “I wouldn’t even have known you were here if I didn’t drive down your street.”

You want to leave, no longer able to meet him in the eye, but your feet remain rooted to the ground, the drink you’ve thrown meeting the soles of your shoe.

Eric stares down at the bottle in his hands, ashamed.

“I missed you,” he whispers, and it’s the quietest his voice has ever been. You almost miss it too, but thankfully you’re adamant on wanting to hear him say something, to hear his stupid reasoning behind why he’s been avoiding you.

“I just don’t get it. I really thought, after all these years, I meant something to you.”

“...Y/N-”

“I sit at home wishing that I could spend my winter break with you, hell just one day with you, only to be slapped in the face and be laughed at-”

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N!” He slams his bottle on the ledge of the well, breathing heavily. “What don’t you understand? I. Missed. You.” His voice comes out louder than ever, startling you with how stern he is.

He angrily runs his fingers through his hair, clutching onto his roots as he looks down the well, unable to face you as he struggles to stand in his spot.

And that’s when you realized the reasoning behind his actions.

“If-...If we met up during my time here, things would get worse. Things would get so much worse because I missed you so much, Y/N.”

He chews on his lower lip as he prevents himself from screaming at you. He’s broken, and that much is visible when he looks at you. His eyes are glossed with his tears, shimmering brightly under the moonlight as he begs for you to understand.

“I was going to disappear, and I don’t have the heart to do that to you. I can’t bear to spend more time with you only to lose you again. I don’t want to hurt you either. Missing you already hurts enough.”

He sighs and leans against the well, arms crossed as he stares off into the distance, whispering.

“Nothing hurts more than sitting around, missing someone you love with your entire heart.”

When you don’t say a word, Eric looks your way and tilts his head. He then drops his eyes to the ground, embarrassed after outwardly admitting his feelings. The stars regain his attention, so he drags his gaze back up to the sky.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

You don’t respond, only standing there as you try to understand everything you’ve just faced.

So he reaches into his back pocket and makes a show out of pulling out his wallet, grabbing a penny before tossing it into the well behind him.

“Can’t believe you just wasted a penny like that,” you mutter. “That’s not how that phrase works, anyway.”

“It’s not a waste if you tell me your thoughts, now would it?” He puts away his wallet and picks up the glass bottle, offering it to you. “Plus, it’s a wishing well for a reason, and I just so happened to have wished for your thoughts.”

“I’m drunk, you know.” You thank him quietly and take the bottle from his hands, truly just wanting to clear your brain with the drink he’s provided.

“Tipsy,” he corrects. “It’s clear you have a high alcohol tolerance if you’re still able to process your thoughts, and you’re thinking.”

“What gives it away?” you retort.

“Oh, well, maybe it’s the fact you never think, so it’s easy to tell when you are.”

“Oh fuck off.” You shove his shoulder and roll your eyes, and he’s laughing, discreetly wiping away his tears from earlier before taking the bottle back from you.

“Maybe you’ve had too much to drink.”

“I thought I was thinking.”

“You are thinking.”

“...God, you’re impossible to decipher.”

“I’m told that a lot,” he hums, bringing the bottle to his lips. He finishes the rest of what’s inside before looking at you, analyzing your features before speaking up again.

“Your eyebrows bunch up and you tend to blink a lot when you think. Plus, your nose does that little scrunch when you lie.”

“No it doesn’t!” you retaliate, and then you put your arms out in front of you.

He laughs and shakes his head.

“I’m not going to tickle you.”

“You always say that and then you do,” you whine.

“Bring it up again, and I might as well consider it.”

You huff and retract your arms, keeping them by your side before folding them over your chest.

“I missed this,” you murmur, chuckling as you drop your head. “I missed you.”

Eric purses his lips and sets the bottle aside.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I would’ve done the same thing if I was in your position.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“...Bumblebee.”

“...Hm?” You turn your head to look at him.

“We can’t do this anymore.”

His words hang in the air, and the seriousness radiating from his tone breaks your heart in half. But you know he’s right.

“I know,” you whisper.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I don’t want you to miss me anymore.”

“I know.”

“Yeah?” Eric looks at you.

“Yeah.” You kick at the bottle you threw earlier, watching it roll over the grass before slowing to a halt. “I don’t want to hurt you either, but…isn’t it going to hurt more?”

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t do this anymore, right?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s going to hurt, Eric. It’s going to hurt a lot.”

“I know.”

“But I don’t want it to hurt. I don’t want you hurting because of it.”

“It won’t hurt either of us. You’re strong, okay? And so am I.”

“But what if it does hurt more than sitting around, missing you?” you ask, spinning towards him. “What then?”

“It won’t, okay?” he says, looking straight into your eyes. “Trust me, it won’t. I believe in you, I believe in us.”

You look up at the sky, realizing it’ll be the last day where you’ll stand under the same stars as him. You shake your head in disbelief, not ready to say goodbye so soon.

“Hey, Bumblebee, look at me. It’s not going to hurt, trust me.”

Upon hearing what he said, you raise a shaking hand and jut out your pinky finger, a gesture you’ve done ever since you could speak. Eric looks at you, nostalgia hitting him all at once.

“Promise me. Promise me it won’t hurt,” you say, voice wavering as you stare at him.

“It won’t hurt, I promise.”

He wraps pinky around yours, locking it in place.

Now is the part where you two pull away. It’s the part where you erase each other from each other’s lives after twenty-one years of being head over heels for each other, but Eric looks at you with eyes you’ve missed so much. Your heart is thumping in your chest as he stands in front of you, movements stilled.

Then, out of nowhere, Eric tugs on your pinky, making you tumble forward before smashing his lips onto yours, giving you the kiss he’s always wanted to gift you.

Your eyes are left wide and stunned before you have them closing shut, letting go of his pinky to toss your arms around his neck. His hands meet your waist as he leans into the kiss.

You both know this is wrong because it’s only going to make everything worse, it’s going to hurt once you both pull away and say your goodbyes, but you can’t help but clutch onto what you’ve always wanted before you both disappear from each other’s lives.

He parts for air, but you immediately pull him back, not daring to hold back your tears from molding your lips with his. He keeps you close against his torso, but then he pulls away because he knows he’s wrong.

And then he sees the tears streaming down your face, noticing the severity of his actions. His eyes widen, shocked with what he’d just done.

“I’m so, so sorry, Y/N. Please don’t cry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-” He cups your cheeks and presses his forehead against yours. “I’m so dumb, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t help it-...”

“I missed you so much,” you sob, fingers clutching onto his shirt.

“I missed you too,” he says, drying your cheeks with the pads of his fingers. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I’m sorry-”

You press your lips against his, wanting to shut him up from spewing any more apologies.

“There,” you say after pulling away, sniffing. “You kissed me once, and I kissed you twice. Now stop apologizing, please.”

“But I initiated it…Fuck, Y/N, I’m sorry,” he pushes himself away from you, scared that he’ll make things worse.

“Forget it,” you murmur, tightly wrapping your arms around yourself. “Just forget it, Sohn. We’re strong, remember?”

“Right.”

“You promised.”

“I did.”

“So it won’t hurt.”

“It’ll only sting.”

“Sting?” You laugh at his choice of words, making him unintentionally smile.

“Yeah, sting. It’s going to hurt, but it’ll heal with time. That’s what I promise.”

“Okay,” you say, nodding. “I believe you.”

“It’ll be okay,” he whispers. “We’ll be okay.”

“We’ll be okay,” you say under your breath, telling yourself that repeatedly. You look back at the party going on indoors, smiling bitter at the sight. You take a few steps back, and it’s too late to stop. “We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah. Just a sting.”

It’s the last thing you hear before you turn around, making your exit. No goodbyes, nothing. You run across the street and into the driver’s seat of your car, locking yourself inside. You stare blankly at the dashboard in front of you before falling into cries, head resting against the steering wheel as you drown in your sobs.

When you leave Eric’s vision, he impulsively grabs the bottle from beside him and tosses it down the well. The sound of it shattering into pieces perfectly represents his heart, and he falls to his knees, finally releasing the tears he’s been holding in ever since he saw you.

For twenty-one years, the world has always told him that he’s never been worthy of you.

And for the first time in his life, he listened.

navi | tbz masterlist

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years ago

Text

A Thousand Year Love ~ Ryomen Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader

Okay, I wrote the Reader's name as "Kitsune", but that's mostly because I envisioned a nine tailed fox without an actual name, that everyone would just call her "Fox" as if she wasn't anyone worth naming, despite her rank.

This is a little fic which explored Sukuna's supposed backstory, 1000 years prior to he action of Jujutsu Kaisen - Idk if it's accurate, I didn't yet read the manga, I still have 6 more episodes from the anime, but I had this idea and I couldn't stop myself from writing about it.

Most of it builds up the bond that very slowly grows between Sukuna and Kitsune, then snaps during a scene somewhere around episode 4 of the anime, when Sukuna takes over Yuji's body, and Yuji can't switch for a while, but with enough altercations that it's not exactly the same as in the said episode.

Hope you enjoy this <3

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"What are we doing here...?" Kitsune asked her parents in a voice that was barely audible as she looked left and right at the huge estate's gardens.

Estate? Rather said, palace, since this place was grandiose - Most likely, even more so than the Emperor's own Palace, the girl thought to herself. Everywhere she looked, cherry, plum and pear trees were in blossom, even though it wasn't their time. Statues and little shrines, along with various small pools with flowers, lanterns and lotuses were scattered as much as her vision would allow her to see. Looking up at the estate, she realised just how small she was in comparison to the intimidating and imposing energies radiating all over the place.

"You are going to meet someone very important, dear." her mother spoke, yet her voice wasn't as gentle as usual, rather, it sounded stiff, on the edge...Almost afraid, maybe? It was foreign for young Kitsune, as she has been confined in her little palace her whole life under the pretext of keeping her safe. But it did exactly the opposite, she believed, considering she itched to explore and go on adventures with each second passing. "Who is it?" she asked as soon as they stepped inside the palace...But it was so dark, save for the red, malicious light from the lanterns and candles lit in just the perfect places so it would guide them to the room they had to go to. "...You will find out soon." her father snapped at her, and she could only frown, her fluffy ears flicking as her tails wrapped protectively around herself. She knew something was wrong, and she had half a mind to believe she was brought there as a sacrifice for some War Deity that would allegedly save them from this era of war...Or something along the lines.

After a longer walk than expected, they found themselves in front of two large, red doors, and without any kind of reticence, Kitsune effortlessly slammed the doors open and saw a dimly lit room with a few stairs and a throne where a man with short, kinda spiky pink hair, garbed in a loose, white kimono was smugly sprawled over that royally embellished chair, while tons of gorgeous women dressed in the most luxurious kimonos, their hair done up with intricate headpieces and flowers that would put any living being to shame...

But what is this about? Kitsune was more confused than anything, and she could only step inside the room, slowly and carefully, before turning to look at her parents, who had a pitiful look in their eyes.

"What is going on?" Kitsune demanded an answer, her voice agitated, her body ready to go into a fight or flight mode, her eyes darting rapidly between her parents and the man on the throne whose name she wasn't interested in finding out. "Well, darling...You see...You had to find you a husband. You are old enough to be married, and you can't stay with us forever. You need to have a family and children. You are the princess of the Fox clan, there is nobody more beautiful than you -..." her mother tried to reason, but the young girl wasn't stupid. She understood what was going on. "No. No. If you want to speak - Then speak the truth. Don't lie to me. This guy is strong, isn't he? Some kind of demonic thing that everyone is afraid off. You are giving me away to this guy...To be his...Thousandth concubine in his harem or something, just because you're too weak to take care of our kin. That's the truth, isn't it? Go on, admit it. Stop trying to sugar coat the situation." her nine tails opened from around her in a large, undulating fan, making her aggression obvious, as fire began to immolate the tips of her fur. "SHUT UP, IMPERTINENT, UNRULY CHILD!" her mother slapped her face, not wanting their benefactor to hear his future concubine speaking so foul of him. "You are a woman, and the princess, nonetheless, and your role is to continue our kin and obey your family and husband. Do not speak unless you are allowed to!" but before her mother could grab her face, Kitsune's tail slapped her hand away, and she stepped back. "I am nobody's toy. I will not obey anyone's orders. Not yours, and not his. I will not be just another concubine for some disgusting, good for nothing lecher with no redeeming quality." the girl snarled at them, ready to make her escape out of there, if needed. "If your sister was alive, she would have sacrificed herself for the greater good of this family! You are nothing more than a selfish brat!" it was her father's time to accuse her, which made her ears perk up, while her tails completely deflated. "Yes, of course, how could I forget. It was me who should have died, not my perfect elder sister. Sorry, but you should curse the Gods, not me for that. But, since it seems that my life is meaningless to you, then I will make you a favour! I will end it myself! I'm sure you'll be happy without me, won't you? Ahh...But how will you save our war-ridden? Too bad I won't be alive to witness your demise, huh?" with a dark chuckle, Kitsune's hand went inside her kimono, taking the small kodachi sword and unsheathing it, hearing only the gasps and shrieks of fright from the harem girls. Kitsune could only guess that these girls were all high-born and unfamiliar to the horrible things happening outside of these walls. "What the hell are you doing, you idiotic child?! Cease this madness at once!" her mother shrieked at her, lounging towards her, trying to stop herself from impaling that blade through her body, and yet...

The second the girl launched her hand down to stab herself...She got stopped. The whole place became instantly silent, save for the sound of a blade bouncing down as it fell on the wooden floor. "Enough." a dark, annoyed voice resounded through the place as Kitsune's wrists were grasped by the man's...Front hands? While her body was immobilized in an embrace by his other two arms. "I was promised a beautiful princess as a concubine, and you failed to do as you promised. Leave, before I get bored and kill you." he threatened the two adult fox people who scurried away in a hurry, leaving behind their only daughter without a second thought. "You, however...Will remain here." he chuckled in her ear, but Kitsune wasn't one to be messed with. Her answer came in the form of lighting up her tails on fire an wrapping them around the man, who hissed and unhanded her, allowing her enough time to go into a corner and get in a fleeing stance. "Why did you stop me? I have no intention of being one of your whores. You should have let me end it right there." she scoffed at the man, who dismissed the bottom pair of arms and laughed. It was almost a psychopathic laugh, she thought, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up - Unsure if it was from fright or disgust. "You amuse me, little vixen. Very much, you amuse me. Having a little fox wag her tails around this place, all fired up, would give some sense of fun, wouldn't you say?" his voice was grating her, and she only wanted to sock him in the jaw. "Keep on dreaming. I'm not your toy, and I'm not here for anyone's entertainment. You have enough girls in this place to amuse you. I'll be going now, and even if you chain me, you can't stop me from achieving my freedom." Kitsune growled at him, slamming open the sliding door that would lead into the balcony, from where she could jump the hell away from there. "You proved you value your life even less than your parents do, so chaining you would do nothing. I have never seen a woman as fiery as you. All the ones I have are the same. Meek, soft...Afraid. Boring. They all like the same things, and hate the same things." he groaned pitifully, evidently bored out of his mind. "They hate you, don't they? You want women, but you don't bother treating them right. Can you get even more typically terrible? Pitiful and disgusting, that's what you are. You just want to break people for your entertainment. You are nothing more than a selfish megalomaniac. No wonder you are in need of entertaining, you are thoroughly boring." Kitsune's degrading words, however, didn't seem to phase the man at all - In fact - It made him laugh. Never, in this life, has he heard anything this degrading before - Everyone tried their best to appeal to his benevolent and merciful side - To at least spare their lives. He was stronger than anyone alive, so nobody dared speak up in front of him. It was obvious she had no idea who he was - All the better - He thought. "Ryomen Sukuna, missy, but you can call me your Emperor." that confident laugh was enough to drive Kitsune up the wall with anger as she stomped to his side and actually punched his jaw. It was annoying - The height difference - As he towered over her entirely, but at least she managed to reach where needed, little miss firecracker. "Piss off." the fox girl growled in anger at him...And yet...He only...Laughed. And he cupped her face, getting his own so close to hers that they could feel each other's breaths. "You. Are. Mine." his grin was so wide and sociopathic that he might as well have had his face split in two. "I will never be yours. I will never be anyone's. I'm not an object. I will not obey anyone. The second you leave me out of your sight, I will flee, and you will never see me again. And if I can't, I will find a way to kill myself. I have nothing to live for, but everything to die for." Kitsune bared her elongated canines at him, and gosh, was she enticing. "And if I get rid of the harem?" he asked, not bothering with everything she talked before. "You'll be a heartless jerk who'll destroy

the lives of so many women." she refuted just as quickly. "And if I don't fuck anyone but you?" he threw that, wanting to fluster her, but the fire in her eyes only ignited even higher. "As usual, you can only think with the wrong head, can't you? There's nothing to you but your stupid little prick. How pathetic. And you call yourself a man. Go die in the war or something." she grabbed him by the loose neck line of his kimono, only to hear him laughing condescendingly. "But darling, that just couldn't possibly happen. I am simply too strong to get killed. Everybody fears my power, why else do you think your parents were so willing to give you away? They were weak, just like you said, and every weakling needs the help of Ryomen Sukuna, Japan's own God of War." this statement made the girl's gorgeous eyes widen in shock...Only to start laughing, almost hysterically. "Oh, bow down to the self proclaimed God of War! Can you believe that! Your majesty, tone down your arrogance, it's gonna get yourself killed! I knew it, you're absolutely useless! All you can do is bark, no bite, little puppy! The only thing intimidating about you is your height, other than that, you are just a generic man who thinks he's all to powerful. How ridiculous." the fox girl couldn't stop her degrading laughing, which confused the man for a while, only to smirk and pick her up bridal style, carrying her out of that room, not letting her get out of his grasp, no matter how much she tried to wiggle or burn him. "I won't let you go until you acknowledge my infinite strength, cute, little fox. But don't think that just because I favour you, I will let you get away with all the shit you called me." his voice sounded darker, more ominously, but it didn't seem to intimidate the girl. "Not in a million years. Not even in your sweetest dreams. You're pathetic and I'll never acknowledge you as anything else but a disgusting, lecherous pig!" she yelled at his face, to which he responded by letting her roughly fall on a soft futon, then crouching by her side and gripping her face just as her mother did before. "Say that again when you'll end up screaming my name as if your life depends on it." he laughed at her before leaving her new room, which she won't leave for a while.

This annoying girl, Sukuna was intrigued by her, but at the same time, he was very tempted into strangling her or snapping her neck - Despite all that fire she lets out, he was curious if she'd end up groveling in self-pity, begging him for mercy, going back on her previous misguided and foolish courage. Wasn't it bad enough that she had no idea who HE was? He also had to endure such disrespect - And even worse - Enjoy it? That little fox bitch was ready to commit seppuku in front of everyone just to prove a point, what the hell else could be more entertaining? All the women he's had were given away by their families as tributes, and none said a word. He was a jerk to them, he fucked them, he mistreated them - Sukuna didn't give a fuck about any woman, man, child, animal...Or any living being in the world, except for himself. All were beneath him - Unworthy, weak, frail -...

And yet, they still lie to his face, trembling as they say all the fake, sweet nothings - "I love you, My Lord" the women would say, their voice shaky, jumping in fright as he'd touch them. He was a rough man, he never knew gentleness, nor mercy, no love - Through all the words spewed by the firey woman, the part where she declared he had no idea how to treat women properly - Yes, it was true, but did he care? Of course not.

Humans were all puppets with whom he could play as much as he wanted - All instruments for his entertaining in this terribly boring world, he would manipulate everyone like dolls on his strings, and when they've exhausted their means of entertaining him, the string will be cut, and the puppets will fall in an abyss of infernal fire.

For the first two weeks, Sukuna and Kitsune were literally acting like a cat chasing a mouse - And each time, the cat would surprise the mouse just as she was about to survive - He was giving her hope of success, only to pick her up by one of her many tails, or embrace her from behind, pick her up, trip her, show up from behind a tree, play with her hair as he came up from a tree behind her, and sometimes, even going as far as to mock her by pointing her the way out of the place.

But very soon, she gave up, and decided to starve herself to death by not leaving her assigned room, ignoring him entirely whenever she'd get visited by him - But that ended in the worst way possible - With her fainting and unable to wake up, and Sukuna freaking out because he didn't want his little toy to die before she got boring.

He laid next to her on the futon, holding her in his eyes, brushing her hair out of her face, playing with her vivid red hair - She truly looked like a fox in Sukuna's eyes, and he almost felt his heart warm up as he felt up the soft fur on her tails, waiting for his cursed energy to heal her up. After some time, he noticed the little red ball of fur getting smaller and smaller as she cuddled into his chest, resembling a defenseless kit searching for warmth, love and safety from its mother. She was so much smaller than him - So frail, so thin, so soft...So cute? - What was it that he was feeling? Calmness? Protectiveness?

He was furious at her for neglecting her health just so she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of toying with her - But that was also endearing, in its own, messed up way? She would go to such dramatic extremes to prove him wrong...It seemed that no matter what she did, it would still make him enjoy her company.

Whenever he'd fuck one of his harem girls, he wouldn't stay over, not even for a kiss - Hell, he didn't even know most of their names - Why should he? They were all the same to him - But he felt such a strong sense of protectiveness over he - He didn't want to strangle her to death anymore - Maybe just a bit of fun, some teasing, some startling - His hand around her supple neck as she looks up at him with her sparkling eyes, calling out his name - Sukuna, Sukuna - Pleading softly, but desperately to him for her sweet release - Sukuna, Sukuna - And he will be merciful, for once, and give her what she wants.

Just as he was caught in his own, sick fantasy, he felt the girl move and grumble, turning on her back, her small hands flying to rub her eyes awake - And he rolled over her, a playful, teasing smirk on his face as he waited for her to realise the position they were in - And yet, she was still out of it, for her eyes were half-lidded and gleaming, she was still weak from her lack of self-care, and she could only look up at him, dazed..."Sukuna...?" she mumbled in a whispery tone - What is she doing to him?! How dare she entice him so much? He wasn't supposed to be attracted to her in any way, so why...?!

"Relax, sweet-cheeks. I'm here." he spoke in a low voice, not wanting to alert her...Wait, what - "...Thanks." muttering that, she let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes again, the corners of her mouth slightly turned upright as she allowed herself to fall back asleep and rest, not caring too much that she felt a slight pressure on both of her hands, in the form of the demon man pressing his own hands to hers, intertwining their fingers together as he towered over her, watching her chest rise and fall rhythmically as she breathed, her kissable, pink lips just a tiny bit parted. He couldn't stop himself - She was too irresistible, and he was much too insatiable - And he leaned down, pressing his own lips over hers - Gently - Very gently in fact, almost as if afraid of breaking a porcelain doll, as if afraid to crush a snowdrop he just picked from a glade, one just just barely managed to get out from under the remaining, melting snow of early spring. "You'll be the death of me, cutie." he found himself saying as he licked his lips, taking in the sweetness of the kiss.

Since then on, despite not being exactly friendly with the man, the fox girl didn't hate him that much anymore. It even got well enough for them to eat in the same room, or play shogi - The girl beating him at it more often than not, which left mixed feelings in his heart - And then he showed her the musical instruments that the concubines would sometimes use whenever he'd want a banquet and more sinful indulgences. He didn't ask her to play for him, though. He realised that the more he tried to push the girl, the less likely she'll actually do anything he wants.

Even more, the more time they spent together, the more his concubines would get neglected - So much that he was completely drawn to this fox girl and all the other women were completely wiped from his head. - And he started gifting her a bunch of beautiful kimonos, only to find them in front of his room's door, rejected. She didn't want anything from him, nor did she want his favour, so she continued wearing her simple clothes.

Until...

Until one night - It was a special night, really - For the moon was full, and big, and gleaming with such a beautiful silver light that neither of them saw in the many years they've been alive. And Kitsune dressed in one of her festival yukatas and went to the lotus pond, surrounded by a few wisteria trees, as the mirror of the water reflected the celestial orb like sparkling zircons. The fox gingerly jumped in the middle of the sheen, walking on it like a spirit, only her feminine silhouette being seen, as her long hair was gently blown by the warm spring wind and her tails were dancing around her in perfect sync. As her feet moved to the sound of the melody she played on a vertical flute she was given by the owner of the place, Sukuna found himself unable to move from his place on the palace balcony, his sight fixated on the woman's form as she alternated playing the instrument and dancing with ribbon-fans.

Her moves were fluid and mystifying like those of a priestess leading a will'o'wisp to rest into kakuriyo, the land of the dead - what was he supposed to do now? He was confused and mesmerised. He's seen his fair share of beautiful women playing instruments and dancing for him - Hundreds of them, in fact - But none could match the effect this nine tailed fox girl had on him.

This continued days on end, but he never admitted to her that he was stalking her every night, nor that he was completely enchanted and under her spell, at the point of no return.

"I'm going to war tomorrow." he told her one evening as he poured himself some sake. "...Good for you. Finally, more entertaining for the most powerful man on Earth...Or something. Bring me a souvenir when you return, I guess." the girl merely shrugged her shoulders as she took the tea pot and poured herself some tea, not bothering with any reaction. "You're not worried for me, are you? What if I die tomorrow? Will you weep for me?" he leaned forward, taking her chin between his fingers. " 'Course not. You're the one who keeps boasting about how you're the most powerful man on Earth and The God of War or something. Besides - If you die, I will just steal all your money and get the hell out of this place, so I can finally see the world through my very eyes, not through inked letters on paper. I want to be free and fly. Life here is boring. I've had enough years of being home stuck, don't you think?" she snapped at him as she snatched the now empty sake up and poured herself some alcohol. "And what if I promise to take you out to see the world when I return?" he smirked at her, watching her ears perk up a bit at the proposition. "...I don't believe you." she looked away before she could reveal any real emotion in her eyes. "I promise. But you also have to promise to relax around me. You're always on the edge, even if you've been here for a whole year. I saw you play in the winter, jump to collect autumn leaves taken by the wind, pick up fruit after climbing up the trees, and make flower crowns in spring. I saw you get buried completely in snow, only one of your tails being seen, I saw you make fruit wine in autumn, send paper lanterns into the sky and bathe in the lotus ponds. We're not strangers anymore, and I've never hurt you even once. So, do we have a deal?" his hunter-like eyes carefully watched her every reaction, noticing how her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, before biting into it softly - She was nervous, that much was obvious - And Sukuna was now a pro at reading her behaviour. "...I'll try. But if you go back on your promise...I promise you, you won't wake up the next morning." she scoffed, threatening him, but it only ended up making him laugh. "The little kitten has claws, how adorable. That's fair, I'll let you have that." the man chuckled at her, petting her hair just between her ears, making her close her eyes and blush just a tiny bit. He was finally able to reach her - Not by much, but even this much was enough for him...For now.

For a whole month, Kitsune was all alone in the palace - Or so she felt, despite the numerous harem girls and the servants - All who had to obey her every order - But she refused any of that. If she wanted to eat, she would make food for herself. If she wanted to drink, she'd get some herself. If she wanted to bathe, she would prepare the bath herself - Just as she's always done. However, all this time, she was never in need of company. She couldn't handle people, nor their fakeness and many other useless emotions that would only make them vulnerable and susceptible of being used and taken for granted.

She's been through that numerous times while living with her family, and she wasn't about to let that happen again.

Thankfully, Kitsune never felt lonely, nor bored - However, she realised that she actually enjoyed Sukuna's annoying presence, and somehow, she found herself awaiting his coming back sooner.

"Master came back, vacation's over. Take care, everyone...I heard he's been injured. Can you believe it? Never thought demons can bleed." the many rumours circulated around the palace, but the fox girl only snapped at the gossipers, glaring at them to shut up. But she didn't go to greet him, like everyone else did. Instead, she waited until night to go to his room, and she found him on the ground, calmly drinking some sake.

"Ah, look at this, a little fox found its way in my humble abode. What ever could you be doing here, I wonder?" he chuckled teasingly, as she only looked down at him, giving him a slight head tilt, yet no expression on her blank face. "Are you wounded?" she muttered in a low voice, almost half-wanting not to have been heard...But she was. "Ha! So you heard those rumours too, haven't you? How ridiculous! Me? Ryomen Sukuna, the God of War, getting injured? Preposterous!" his bark-like laugh echoed through the place, but it didn't move the girl in any way. Instead, slowly crouched next to him, snatching down the already loose kimono top from his torso, letting it fall down to his chest, as her delicate fingers traced his chest, arm and back, analysing each and every fresh wound and scar alike. "I thought you could heal. Cursed energy magic or something. What you did to me when I passed out. Stupid liar. All you know how to do is to boast to everyone, but you can't even admit that you are still capable of making mistakes sometimes." her voice was obviously pissed off, but not enough to sock him in the jaw again. "Anti-regeneration magic. I didn't know something like that existed. Gimme a break." he scoffed, looking away in mild embarrassment. "Lucky you. Now don't move, or you'll really piss me off." she sneered at him as she made blue fire light up her palms and focused on healing him. It was then that she realised how good it felt to feel someone's bare skin, to feel his muscles, sore from fighting so much. He was finally beginning to look more like a man - A warrior - Not like some obnoxious, bratty, entitled casa nova. "I didn't know you could heal people. It tickles." he smirked slightly, turning his head to watch her focused face. "You don't know many things about me, Sukuna. Don't even bother trying, you'll never be able to, anyway." she scowled at him, but this time, it wasn't as aggressive as usual. "I've always loved a challenge, sugar." he chuckled boastfully, only for her to frown and look at him. "Is that all I am for you? A challenge?" she asked in a softer voice, sounding almost disappointed. "Not anymore. You've always been an enigma for me. You were fun, that's why I kept you around. If you weren't, I'd have killed you. I have no regrets about killing anyone, reason or not. But you got under my skin. I don't want to unveil the enigma behind you anymore. I just want to know you." carefully, his hands found their way on her hips, just before pulling her on his lap, only for her to stiffen up completely, her hands quickly taken off of his skin, as she quickly snapped her head away from him, her face covered by the long hair that resembled the blood he spilled on the battlefield. "Aww, are you shy, cutie~?" his seductive voice was back again, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face - But she couldn't bring herself to speak - Instead, she just gulped and jumped away from him, taking a few deep breaths before getting out of the room, and climbing up to the roof, hugging her legs to her chest, leaning her chin on her knees, her bottom lip bitten into to the point of drawing blood.

What the hell was she thinking, letting herself getting touched like that? By someone like Sukuna, nonetheless, who, if given the chance, would have his way with her, then toss her aside like he did with all the other women in his enormous harem. Her heart was beating so hard, so fast against her chest. It was a foreign feeling that scared her so much that for a long while, she couldn't help but avoid him once again, going out of her way to only leave her room when she was sure he wasn't there. It didn't always work out as she wished, but she still tried nonetheless, as succeeded for most of the time.

"Are you scared of me?" Sukuna asked the girl one night, when he found her softly shedding tears up on the roof. "...No." she offered a monotone answer. "Then why are you avoiding me again? Do you hate me?" he asked again, only for her to hang her head and hug herself. "I realised that I shouldn't be alive. All my life I've known only two emotions - Hatred and Rage - All of them masked by a facade of complete neutrality, passiveness and uncaring. But, now...I can feel my heart beating. And it hurts. I was so ready to throw away my life, and I knew I would have no regrets. I lived for nothing. I have no memories of anything good happening in my life. I thought that...I thought that maybe...I would be able to feel, staying here, with you. I wanted to feel something good, for once. What was that called...Happiness? Love? I wanted to feel those too. I guess it's too much to ask from this cruel life. The second you touched me, I started panicking and I got scared. I was afraid. Not of you, but of the idea of possibly getting hurt. I don't know how to feel, and I don't think I'll ever be able to be a proper being...But maybe...Someday...I will be able to look up at the same sky, at this very same moon, and the very same stars...And smile...And my chest won't be hurting anymore. And I won't be afraid anymore. Maybe, in the next life...Or the one after that...I will be lucky. Maybe times will change, and people won't be so cruel anymore. I'm sorry, Sukuna. I didn't end up being who and what you thought I'd be. I will forever be a disappointment to everyone I meet." she wasn't sure if her words were directed to anyone at all, or if she just found the courage to speak for the first time in her life - To acknowledge the existence of feelings altogether - But Sukuna understood her. Except for the thrill of the kill and fleeting quenched lust, he didn't feel any relief. Just like her, anger and hatred, for the entirety of his life. How different and similar the two of them really were, he realised, as he went to hug her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. "You have never disappointed me, Kitsune. You cannot disappoint me. I understand what you're feeling. It's a cruel world, and we are much crueler to everyone around us, including ourselves. If you ever think you have it in your heart to accept me, I will be waiting. Forever, if needed. And if not, I will be awaiting in the next life. Or in the next one. I won't give up on you." and saying that, he planted a kiss on her temple before leaving her alone to watch the same silver moon they've been looking up at for so long. "...Thank you." she spoke to herself after who knows how long.

And she smiled.

Every day passing, she would look at the pink haired warrior, and every day, she'd want to throw herself in his arms, but every time, she'd start shaking, and she'd turn around and leave the place. This whole ordeal continued for well over three months, until one day, the palace was attacked with burning arrows, and the whole place was lit aflame.

In the mayhem in cause, the fox girl made sure to gather all the civilians in the huge estate and lead them to safety, and by the time she was done, she rushed to search for Sukuna, the person the enemies wanted to bring down, once and for all. However, by the time she found him, the whole place was ablaze, the once blooming garden was now turned into ashes, and the Demon God of War was heavily bleeding, slouched and leaning his back against a wall.

Opposite of him, many meters away, a menacing looking enemy who had spears in his hands was ready to throw them at him...And Sukuna merely smirked, defeated, and closed his eyes, awaiting for the impact of his ultimate death.

"Sukuna...Keep your eyes closed." Kitsune's low, shaking voice called out to him, but instead of doing as he was told, his eyes snapped open, only to widen in terror seeing the girl he grew to love, impaled by numerous spears, acting as a shield for him. "K...Kitsu...Ne...?!" he managed to usher after getting over his shock. "I told you...To keep you eyes closed...Idiot." she shook her head as she curled her fingers on the wall, taking a few deep breaths, despite her legs shaking. "Idiot. Idiot. You are such an idiot." "No...You...You were supposed to run away...I told you to run away...I told you...To...Live..." his voice was desperate, trembling, not believing what he was seeing before his very eyes. "Not without you...We were supposed to...Go...together...And be happy...And look at the moon...And stars...Together..." but as she said that, she heard the air getting split by yet another set of spears that go through her tails and torso, making her lose strength and fall over the man she was shielding. With her last strength, she punched back the spears out of her body and crawled on his lap, cradling his body, wrapping it up protectively with her tails, holding tightly onto him. "I never learnt how to fight...I never had anything to protect...Until I found you. I have no regrets dying, if you live. Close your eyes, Sukuna. I...I love you." and just before all strength left her body, she cupped his face and stole a weak kiss.

She was happy. She finally found her courage to act as she wished - With her heart, not with her fears. She was finally able to expel all the bad things possessing her. She died, and yet, she was finally smiling. She regretted nothing.

She was really happy.

"...Look there, Kitsune. Look at the moon. And the stars. And we are together. In this life. And the next one...And the one after...I will find you. And I will protect you. Don't be afraid anymore...Nothing will hurt you again. Until then...Sleep well, my Princess...Wait for me...Very soon."

---------

"Don't worry, Yuji! We will find all the victims of this place and rescue them! You'll see!" the cheerful nine-tailed girl wagged her fluff left and right as she dragged her best friend to the ominous place, as their other two team mates followed soon after, both having different reactions, as usual.

As her shikigami fox and Megumi's white wolf were assigned to make sure no cursed spirit would sneak up on them, they tried to make heads or tails of the distorted reality inside the place - They knew they may be dealing with a Special-Grade monster, but to have power of such magnitude seemed...Unreal...And unsettling.

"Guys, calm down. This is the Innate Domain...Cursed energy made this foul play...But I've never seen anything like...This. We have to move fast, and not split up, or we'll get picked one by one." Kitsune gritted her teeth, feeling the fur on her tails stand up. "Where's the door?!" Megumi yelled, turning around, only for everyone to gasp, realising the way they got through completely disappeared. "Th-The door's gone?!" Yuji blinked, incredulous at what he was witnessing. "How?! We just came in through here, didn't we?!" Nobara freaked out, only to make a short, brain dead dance with Yuji. "Calm down. The dog remembers the scent of the entrance." saying that, the two fawned over the two canines as they let them lead the way, only to find three mangled corpses, one of them having a name tag - It was the name of the child of the desperate woman outside of the place, pleading to the police to rescue him.

However, a fight erupted between the two boys who couldn't decide whether they should run away or rescue the corpses, as closure for the woman outside, at least, and while Nobara yelled at them, trying to make them stop...She...Disappeared?! Through a makeshift hole in the floor that wasn't there before.

"B-But...Megumi's demon dog and my fox should have been able to sense the curse...!" Kitsune then quickly turned around, only to gasp, noticing the bloody corpses of the said shikigami protruding from the walls. "NO! CYNDER!" she whimpered, hating to see her lovely companion in such a state. "ITADORI! KITSUNE! WE HAVE TO RUN! WE'LL LOOK FOR KUJISAKI AND -" but before he could finish speaking, Kitsune's whimper, that grew louder, along with the presence of the demon she was pointing at, staring straight at her...Made both boys stop in their tracks, wide eyed and shocked...And very much afraid.

The trio was sweating bullets, trying to move, trying to get the hell away from there - But Yuji moved first, taking out his knife, slashing at the Special-Grade....Only for his hand to go flying far away...From the impact.

"Megumi, run away! Go find Nobara, I'll stay here and create a diversion! Give us a signal when you're out of here! Yuji can get Sukuna and save us!" the fox girl yelled at her brunet friend desperately as she pushed him away, but a mouth on Yuji's cheek, speaking very derogatory, pointed out he doesn't give a fuck about Yuji's body, and that he won't die, even if his vessel does. "Nope~! Even if parts of me inside you die, I've still got 18 other fragments of my soul! Still, irritatingly enough, I don't have control of this body, so go away and switch, if you want! But once you do...I'll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can! Then, I'll go for that woman. She's a lively one. I'll have fuck with her. And then...I'll claim this cute fox girl that you care so much for!" Sukuna kept talking, and it was creating a state of panic in Yuji's heart. "Don't listen to him, Yuji! I know you won't let him take over you completely! You can't hurt us!" Kitsune yelled at her friend, trying to snap him out of the trance Sukuna put him in. "No, no, no, darling, you're wrong. If he's too focused on me, his friends WILL die~!" the demon kept laughing at his vessel, until the Special Grade unleashed a full blast of pure, cursed energy. "Yuji, look out!" she jumped at him, getting him out of the blast's range. "Stop listening to him, and take care of yourself! This isn't Jujutsu, this is pure cursed energy! We have to buy Megumi and Nobara enough time to get the hell out of here! Look at this jerk, he's having fun. I'm sure we can figure something out." the fox girl gritted her teeth in anger, but before either of them could try to attack or dodge - In the blink of an eye, really - She felt herself getting picked up and slammed on the wall before her by yet another blast of cursed energy - Followed by another, that flew her on the bridge in the next room, rendering her barely conscious. "KITSUNE! KITSUNEEEE!" she heard her pink haired friend's desperate wail as he tried to shake her awake. "...Sukuna...?" she asked, her shaking hands trying to rub away the tiredness from her eyes, as she looked up at him with gleaming, half-lidded eyes.

Before he could answer, shocked that she would call him by his demon's name, and even more, his own demon shocked, hearing her say something like that, she managed to cling onto the boy enough to get herself back on her feet, turning towards the attacker, her big, fluffy tails opening like a protective fan for the boy, as she created a blast of blue spirit fire to try to counter the cursed energy blast from the enemy. It made her growl from the pain, but her mind was blank - She had no regrets - No matter what life she was living, she will only get stronger and stronger, until she succeeds and protects the ones dear to her.

But not in this lifetime.

She wasn't strong enough yet. She was nowhere near her mentor, Satoru, in power. She had no way to compete with him, nor could she protect her friends when needed.

How pathethic.

It was her last thought before the cursed energy took over her, burning away some of her skin and creating even more damage after getting slammed and breaking yet another wall. With the last bit of consciousness she was able to hold onto, she saw her pink haired friend still alive and well - By some standards, at least - And she could merely smile and fight back the darkness threatening to take over.

But...Something happened, for the boy now seemed fearless - And he even taunted with the special-grade...And then he healed his own arm, before going to her, looking down at her, shaking his head. The markings on his face...This wasn't Yuji. This was...

"Idiot." a much darker, more masculine voice came from the body of the teenage vessel as he crouched down to the girl. "You never change, no matter what life you reincarnate into, do you? But that's the charm about you, stupid fox. You never really lose your memories of the past, do you?" he gently caressed her face, feeling his heart beating a bit faster as he noticed she was smiling and leaning into his touch. "You said you'll find me...So what is there to fear?" she mused weakly, before she got picked up bridal style, allowing her to cuddle into his chest, finally allowed to rest at ease. "Let's teach this weakling a lesson and get the hell out of here. The moon is up." Sukuna chuckled as he walked up to the demon, effortlessly punching in the head, slamming it into the bridge, only to smash his foot into its head, breaking the bridge altogether. As they fell, the monster grabbed his leg, but the fox-fire burn on his hand was enough to get his to shriek in pain and let go, as Sukuna jumped on one of the falling rubbles, taunting and laughing condescendingly, as he ripped apart the monster limb from limb before impaling it into a wall, as soon as they reached the watery ground. "Honestly, I'm jealous. I could never get to your power with jujutsu alone. Satoru said this thing is 80% born talent. How disheartening." she grumbled, feeling better already. "There's nothing cursed in your heart, sugar. Let the killing to me. I promised I'll protect you, I'm not going back on my word. I'm not going to see you die again." he threw her up a bit to get a better hold on her. "Hang onto me, foxy. Let's show this sucker how we do things." seeing his infamous smirk on his face, she threw her arms around his neck, holding on tightly, seeing as he did a hand seal, calling out his Malevolent Shrine...And they were back home, dressed the same as they were so long ago...A thousand years ago...And the monster got split in 5 slices, before Sukuna dug out another one of his soul-fingers, and he started grinning even laughing even darker, realising that Yuji couldn't switch bodies again, which made villain jump out of the facility, right on top of it. "I guess...No matter what life we live, the sky is going to be forever beautiful." Kitsune sighed as soon as he let her down, but she didn't let go of him. Not this time. Fears won't take over her life anymore. "And yours is even more eternal than the moon's or the stars." he cupped her face, taking in her beauty for the first time in over a thousand years. "It's been to long. I made you wait far too long. I hope you didn't miss me too much." one of his hands found its fingers raking through her hair, and she closed her eyes a bit, taking in the warm, loving feeling that completely took over her. "I'll forgive you. You did take your bloody time...But at least you're here now. And you're not going anywhere. I won't let you." her hands slid down to the neck of his blouse, pulling him to her level, which only made him smirk smugly. "Good. That was my intention." his charming, dark voice spoke, making her heart beating faster, and feeling the hair on the back of her neck and the fluff on her tails stand up from excitement. "Won't it be weird? Being Yuji's body...?" she asked shyly, as he only chuckled, pulling the same Malevolent Shrine trick, so they finally looked as they did when they first met. "Better, sweet cheeks?" he pulled her flushed to his body, as she got on her tippy toes to get closer to his face. "Spectacular."

As the fox girl couldn't stop touching his face, raking her fingers through his hair, feeling his body closer to hers as her whole body felt hotter than ever before - It was just a kiss - His lips so sweet against her own, his arms, so strong, holding her, feeling her, loving her.

It was only them, under the gentle light of the silver moon, guarding them, as the stars softly twinkled, embellishing gold into the dark sky - Just like this love light up the darkness in their hearts.

Her tails wrapped around him instinctively, as they pulled apart, and looked each other in the eyes for the first time since they've known each other. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness, her lips were curled into a kitten-like smile, and she was glowing - It made Sukuna's heart have a pleasant arrhythmia as he saw in front of his very eyes a sight that he's been dreaming about for over a millennium - The woman that captured his heart - Happy, in his own arms, safe, and very kissable.

This feeling and image were worth waiting a thousand years.

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagine #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna imagine #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna imagine #yuji itadori #kugisaki nobara #megumi fushiguro #gojo satoru #kitsune #kitsune reader #fox #feudal japan

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torydarixs · 2 years ago

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hi tag everyone plis i love you so much i didnt know yall cared so much but you do and im so so grateful for your presence god bless jisne bhi tumblr bnaya now i'll address the elephant in the room what the fuck happened to me well, he happened a lot of shit happened and i got overwhelmed i want to say he's a bitch but like im a kind and nice person so i wouldnt do that tumblr reminds me of him, and i talked about him a lot on here. im done with him now and i dont want tumblr reminding me of us every second, because one way or the other my wtfrroch blog belonged to him too, all the thirsty posts all the yearning poems were about him so ig i wanna move past that now. im starting college in 10 days in a brand new city and i want to spend time with my parents(the people who actually care unlike him) idk when i'll be back, i miss tumblr i really do but even when we had fun it always always was about him, he was everywhere. inseparable from me. but yeah i just need some time ig, and in the meantime i'll be active on my insta and i'll open this blog sometimes too if its not too triggering. i love yall take care<3

hi oh my god hi i was so worried bitch of course we care how could we not

im hella proud of you, okay? you're strong and funny and one of the best friends i've ever had and i'm sending you all my love and strength and im very happy that you're beginning a new chapter of your life after successfully having closed the last one and don't worry about coming back, your well being is the only thing that matters aur humare paas toh tera insta whatsapp sab hai toh it's fine we'll just continue annoying you on a different platform. come back whenever you feel like it, we're always here

just take care of yourself and keep me updated on college life nahi toh 🔪🔪🔪 i love you so fucking much <3

uhh who do i tag im pretty sure a lot of people already know but still

@iambecomeyourvillain @augustrine @baahaara @chandaniyan wHO ELSE ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH-

#not tagging rya bc i know she already knows

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eligaxy · 4 years ago

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Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact scenario #venti x reader #venti x traveler #venti x lumine #venti x aether #el writes♡

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