#idk bro i hope that’s nothing
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sniffles… i missed you guys so much <///3
#[𐐪— rheya talks. 𐑂]#it’s only been like two days but still#lmao#well yesterday didn’t count bc all i did was tell you guys about the potential stalker#😭😭😭😭#idk bro i hope that’s nothing#we called the police tho#and we’re investing in cameras#so hopefully nothing else happens#anyways#YES I MISSED YOU GUYS#i have lots of homework to do this week#but in between i will try to write wolf toji#i think im like half way through????#and i need to answer asks#im very sorry LMAO
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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A redraw of an old thing because exam season is the only time i get creative energy ig
#but no fr i just came home from 2 consecutive exams. like consecutive as in one after the other in 2 hours#next week is all finals and theyre all like 2 hours 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon like bro#whatevs tho medical update THE MEDS ARE WORKING alhamdulilallah i feel im getting way more energy :)#2 years on immunosuppressants and at least 3 months of corticosteroids which means no salt :( BUT we are getting thru it#im cooking again :')#ok enough my life is not what you're here for. idk if cbeeduo at the end of 2023 *is* but idc#i just rly missed them yk and the vibes and the place i was in plus i have fun drawing them so suck it#i hope my good cbee mutuals enjoy this love yall#my art#dsmp fanart#cranboo#ctubbo#cbeeduo#fashion notes for the cool peeps still reading is i am dying on the hill that cranboo was decked in a 70s aunt wardrobe argue with the wall#also tubbo cowboy cus. like. look at him.#will probably draw tommy next i rly miss him. nothing big as always im a doodle kinda guy at heart#anyway xoxo love yall still here <33#fennec.art
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hi vros...
no TTTE stuff 😭😭
But I started hyperfixating on Eddsworld so...I might asbwell post it here, might try and post here too since insta is gonna be a jerk by Ai. But uhh yah.
Anyways uhh yah
#eddsworld#eddsworld edd#eddsworlt#eddsworld Tom#eddsworld tord#eddsworld matt#fanart#art#idk lol#I'm slaying tonight brah#Everyone gangsta until eddsworld gang came in#Smooching tord#Okay why tord is close to Tom breh#Matt looks like he's holding edd's arm#I love all of them#Eddsworld gang unite#I hope nothing bad happens#Farts#Okay bro
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posting this before I decide I hate it
#idk if the white n gold thingies r attached to his coat/cloak but I refuse to draw it so#my art <3#obey me mc#obey me nightbringer#obey me#obey me solomon#selfship#Yknow I’m mostly ashamed of my bts phase but bro pied piper is SO GOOD listen to that shit#“What does that have to do with the art” nothing! Hope this helps#do u guys think I like Solomon be honest#solove
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thinking about vampiric arakawas again just so i can make a 'blood-sucking politician' joke
#snap chats#have i ever posted my vampire arakawa musings. i think i did long ago in a distant land. or at least for halloween vjaERLVKJ#anyway i was having my evening stroll with my dog and thinking about how much i love dark-renaissance age stories and whatever#which is a weird way to lead into vampires since At Least Dracula vampire stories dont start until the victorian - progressive era#though i guess you can do whatever you want with mythical creatures and its not as if vampiric stories cant start during the 1400s either#theyre immortal and Not Real (i hope) so anythings possible theres no need to be super restrictive#i am. literally not getting to the point Point Is it could be funny .....#thats why they cna be really good assassins like just eat your targets tf <- vampires dont eat people#but then of course i have to wonder the implications ... oh ive definitely made this post but im still curious#fuuuck man i wanted to make my joke but i just realized how do i even get to that joke cause i dont think masato would be a vampire#dhampir as i definitely said way back then IF THAT. what were the circumstances wait shut up why are there police next door#bro im too nosy this post is interrupted hang on#not nosy enough to keep watching im bored its probably nothing anyawy. cause i think sawashiro and ikumi woudlve been human#like during the uhhh idk dark ages and maybe arakawa turns sawashiro into a vampire later on but what of masato .....#idk im not gonna think too hard about it. right now just take my blood-sucking politician joke idea we'll figure it out later#stopppp i was wondering about vampires in japanese pop culture but then i rmemebered mandurugo WHICH. are filipino but STILL FOUL#im everywhere im ending the post now bye#wait i have to end this post cause why tf did my bestie send me a tweet being like 'look forward to the future of chao'#since shadow x sonic generations is coming soon LIKE DONT PLAY WITH ME AVBOUT CHAO I DONT PLAY ABOUT THEM FUCKERS#ok im ending the post now for real bye im gonna throw up
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Hotel Portofino be like: Bury your gays and also bury your child.
#Ok I think we all know what happened to Nish and Gian#It was still traumatising tho#Also the way it was shown in between the scenes of Bella getting the good review she so wanted#That was unnerving to be honest#The second part could be about Rose but that's not who I mean#It's just that if you watched season 3 or at least know some spoilers then you know what I'm talking about#Bro they legit killed off Bella and Cecil's son#And it was an accident#Accident in a way that not Lucien was supposed to be shot but Nish's brother Virat#But then Lucien went to save them and unfortunately the bullet got him#In his neck area I think#There was legit no other way for him but out#Also the one who was shooting was that evil bitch Vincenzo Danioni#Who iirc just was really over there terrorizing both Bella and Cecil#And he's apparently alive#Sure he was knocked out by Cecil after shooting at people but idk#There's a possibility that he didn't die?#My poor babies (Bella and Cecil) be really going through it#First it was the 1929 crash then Bella had to find a way to pay back the hotel's worth to her father after the divorce announcement plus#just find a way to keep the hotel#And Cecil had his own bullshit ofc with the loss of his money and Danioni blackmailing him because of that stupid Ruben's painting AND even#that dipshit Jack came back#also his attempt to kill Danioni failed (thanks Jack for double-crosding him)#Like my babies be having so many problems which were already causing them a lot of stress#On top of it all their son gets killed by their enemy and they have to watch it as he dies (nothing could have helped him)#And as I said that monster Danioni might still be alive and want a retaliation or smth#Damn I just hope that their family friends aquaitances and employees will be there for them to help and support them#hotel portofino#bella ainsworth#cecil ainsworth
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Honestly this is just a vent and i dont expect anyone to care but i just want to say something i guess.
I really am giving up on life now. For the first time im not trying to fight the idea of self-delete. Im just at peace with it. I dont have anything to lose anyway. No friends, family hates me, and i just cant win. I really cant find an actual reason to stay alive. So, i came up with an ultimatum. I fix myself and my life or i just end myself. That's the only thing keeping me going. Nothing else matters. I either win or i just d1e. Thats all.
I would love to think that someone will read this and care even a bit but that's just not happening ig. No one cares about me anyway so im not surprised. I just wish ppl cared and loved me the way i do to them.
I hope my family will atleast feel sad when i go. But they probably wont
IMPORTANT:
If i dont post here again by Nov 27, (my birthday) it means i finally committed. If anyone will even notice😞
#suic1de#su1c1dal#tw depressing stuff#i hope this makes sense#no one cares#im just tired#idk bro. there's nothing more i can do past this point :/#i tried#mentally exhausted
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"A lot of gym bros are attracted to fat women because they started off as fat or scrawny" is a really odd rhetoric because at least to me it implicitly states that only X people could be attracted to X people and by that it also ranks people based on body type.
Literally repackaged "Only bony people date bony people because nobody else would want them and only fat people date fat people because nobody else would want them and that fit guy who's dating that plus size woman is soooo weird like why would he do that when he can have people in a way better league"
#or maybe I'm just crazy idk#but i feel kinda on edge around any rhetoric that implies that certain features are somehow objectively better and universally sexy#and that some are universally unsexy and can be found tolerable only through shares plight#like...ok...what if...any now hear me out...a lot of people have preferences in what they find aesthetically (and sexually too i guess?? idk#I'm not allo) attractive and some people who are gym bros just happen to find bigger women attractive. simply because that's#their preference. same goes for average Jane who wears size XXL and loves to look at guys with abs. nothing wrong with that#average Joe who still wears boys sizes and whose body is just like that by nature might fantasize about strong shredded women#or maybe about Hollywood-style bombshells or about someone like him. and all of those preferences have no moral value#hope this helps
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i started writing my first hange multi chapter fic and ive always loved your stories & one shots. I read most of them on ao3 before i had an account. without self promoting I really hope one day, you’ll find my fic on ao3 or tumblr, read it, and enjoy it. (I want your validation)
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR STARTING YOUR MULTI CHAPTER FIC! That shit is incredibly hard and challenging at times but I am so unbelievably proud of you for starting this journey!!!! I only ever wrote The Infected, for Hanji and aot in general, but I remember I wanted to give up at times, so please, if you ever feel like that, reach out!!
Also!!! Oh my god?! Thank you??! I've always doubted my writing, never thought I was good enough since english isn't my first language but knowing that there are people out there who actually enjoy the things I write about makes me feel really good about it :( thank you for telling me that, really.
NOW YOU GOT ME CURIOUS!! I haven't had much time to read anything lately, with being a manager during this nightmare time of the year, but PLEASE send me the link, or your @ like legit fioasfspa if you don't want me to post it, i totally won't, but please, i would be honored to read your hanji fic.
#PLEASE LET ME ENJOY YOUR CONTENTTTTT#i haven't had much energy or time to read multi chapters but bro#i would LOVE nothing more than to read your fic#I tend to write massive comments about the paragraphs that speak to me so idk i hope you're okay with that#and again if you ever get overwhelmed by the amount of effort that it takes to write a multichapter fic#i am here for support <3 <3#sometimes i wanna turn guardian angel! hanji into a series but idk#maybe one day#thank you for asking <3
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Jrwi episode 98 spoilers
I’m having totally normal late night thoughts about this episode.
I just imagine as Gillion is laying on this table, trying with all his power to stay awake, in a fully delirious ramble, constantly asking May where Chip and Jay are as she can only just reassure him that they’re coming. Not because he’s concerned for himself, but in his state completely forgot they left to go save his life, and that he’s worried for their well being. Until the very end, putting everyone else’s in front of his own needs. And as the remaining of his strength begins to leave him, where his vision starts to fade, his hearing goes quiet, and his breathing slows, tears pool from the corners of his eyes and they trail down the side of his face as he can do nothing but sink into this abyss, so tired. He doesn’t fear his death, but he mourns that it’s happening, that Chip or Jay aren’t here to see him off. But maybe it’s better for them to not see him in his final moments.
And in this darkness, he can do nothing but sink further and further down, suffocating. Until there’s this golden light that appears from above, and it grows brighter until it engulfs him into it.
His eyes open. And he’s on the ship, Chip was telling Ollie about these cookies filled with raspberry filling, Jay was navigating the ship and besides her sat this shirt round grey creature with a puffy striped tail, it’s peaceful as they sailed along the waves. It feels like he can breath again, the pain on his chest gone, this ever looming dread hanging over him is gone. This was nothing more than a dream, but it would be a calm one.
#jrwi podcast#jrwi spoilers#jrwi episode 98 spoilers#gillion tidestrider#lol idk how to write and it didn’t begin with the intention to#I’m just going insane over how emotional that scene could’ve been#I probably could’ve given more detail on the dream section#but I’m actually not fully caught up on the campaign LMAO#so I don’t fully know all the crew members yet enough to describe them#I hope Gillion is having an amazing dream right now ❤️#I hope this is going to be the best sleep he’s ever had#ignoring the new danger of the state of May’s health oh god I hope she’s okay I’ve literally only known her for this one episode oh god oh f#I know he’s only gonna get like a long rest 8 hour sleep but I know truthfully if it weren’t needed so Charlie just does nothing the entire#time that Gillion would be asleep for wAY THE FUCK LONGER PROBABLY#BRO NEEDS LIKE A WHOLE DAY TO JUST SNORE MIMIMI PEACEFULLY
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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got a 79 on my economics finals i need to jump off a cliff 😂
#i still passed that class and got good grades on the rest of my classes too#just waiting for one more but damn this just looks so fucking ugly 😭#dude barely thought anything and he did say he will let u pass as long as you attend his classes AND I DID WTF#even that one time there was only five of us in there like you could've considered attendance bro 😂#i swear all of us learned NOTHING in his class like he would literally just read off the book or a ppt and like..translate it in tagalog#a total of 10 mins of lecture then he starts gossiping with my classmates like it was fine at some point but then he really just kept doing#that on all of his classes like even in the exam day he was so noisy gossiping with the students 😭#he gave out the lesson resources(?) LATE too and i did try to understand them but the exams are just so fucking weird 😭#its like....idk i READ the lessons and understood them but the exam was still so fucking hard like do you want us to pass or not 😂#well idk im just pissed off KSKSKD a line of 7 grade made me the way i am now lol suicidal and shit 😂😂😂#the last time is another complicated story tho...i mean i don't care as much now bc i still passed anyway?#it just looks so ugly.....fuck you 😭#like he didn't even have homework or projects like dude literally just predicted the grade for pre-finals i mean from 93 to 79 like okay 😂#share ko lang 🙄#<- this might be my vent tag KDJDJ i hope no one uses the same thing lmfao
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bruh… succ sesh twt toxic asf damn… and kinda h*mophobic lmao
#like i’m not saying tomsh/iv isn’t important but saying a relationship between two men which was kinda#integral to both of their development was nothing more than a vehicle for the storyline of a straight relationship#is uh!!!!! yeah…#i mean maybe it was!!! maybe that’s what the writers were doing [but i hope tf not bc man… also the nero sporus thing??? bro]#but to celebrate it… along the same vein as celebrating and validating the comments about rome being gay that they juggled#idk it’s kinda weird to me. anyway stan tomgreg
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this comment has me tearing up like i literally cant imagine going through that i would've gone postal
#if i had watched all of mindcrack in real time and then had to sit through two years of nothing i would have lost it#etho would make an offhand comment about bdubs in his singleplayer world and i'd start crying#like ive seen some nasty cc breakups where theres obviously hurt feelings and bad blood and thats why two creators dont interact anymore#but that shits got nothing on watching two people who very obviously care about each other and enjoy making content together just. stop.#because it doesn't work anymore. man.#nothing in this world more heartbreaking than two ppl who love each other realizing they just don't fit into each others lives#bro if i was watching that shit in 2015 or w/e i would feel So Hopeless#like if these two can do everything right by and for each other and still just drift apart then#how can anyone have hope for meaningful relationships ykwim#but!! seeing it in retrospect is so. idk like it's such a good lesson in patience.#wait this is already getting so rambly but whats the fucking. whats the wilfred owen quote.#'you have fixed my life -- however short. you did not light me: i was always a mad comet;#but you have fixed me. i spun round you a satellite for a month#but i shall swing out soon#a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze.'#thats. thats the ethubs break to me.#ethubs is stored in the gay love letter wilfred owen sent to siegfried sassoon in 1917#where the fuck was i going with this
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honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues
#toy txt post#im shocked hes gotten 11 bites in tbh thats insane? if nothing else. it sounds like that environment was not great for him stresswise if hes#biting that often#i dont buy into that dogs always have good character judgement thing but i do think there is probably some overlap with#commanders vibe checking and the general temperament of your average secret service agent being a disasterous combo of#commander not digging their vibe and the energy they bring to interactions with him. ESPECIALLY now that he has such an extensive history of#bad interactions w agents that like. for sure affects how they approach interacting w him#and like. probably some overlap w the agents hes biting and the agents who might have some unhinged politics of their own#that doesnt mean hes Aware or that his general Judge Of Character should be taken at face value#hes just a breed that is gonna be be pretty distrustful of strangers who is constantly having strangers in his space#that are probably asserting themselves in his space and close to his ppl in ways he doesnt like but that is basically part of their job#which he doesnt understand that. all he sees is Some Random Guy with annoying vibes thats probably giving him sideeye and#exuding vibes of 'god i hope this stupid fucking dog that bites secret service agents doesnt bite me' and the dog that bites secret service#agents is like hey bro whats with the attitude. why are you so close to my ppl. why are you tensing up when im near you? are you gonna#go after me bro? not if i get you first. and the cycle continues. fuckin oof#11 times is insane but honestly. honestly. if i had a bunch of assholes following me around with a tense aggro energy and shit#i feel like moxie might start biting. shes not bitten anyone yet so far despite her high level of distrust towards strangers but like.#i think if their was someone with fuckin. Cop Vibes getting all up in the space of her people she might give it a go. idk#maybe not. shes mostly more confrontational towards other animals than to ppl. w ppl she cowers and trembles. but idk sometimes when we're#trying to convince her she doesnt need to have an anxiety attack about every new person she'll sometimes like sit on one of us and then get#a little growly when someone comes close not just cos shes scared but also cos shes being protective. but also its funny bc she is also like#trying to hide between our legs like a baby penguin. she is simultaneously trying to Protecc and Be Proteccted
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