#idk I'm just not having a fun time anymore

[emmaspersonaldiary]

Going into detail about how I feel about all of my friends:

School friends

Gym:

-S: she's nice, but sometimes she says or does something that kinda makes me feel like that wasn't nice or that wasn't necessary and some things about her tick me off but I love her

Socials:

-m: I fucking hate you. I'm only still talking to you cuz I don't want to be alone in that class. You're such a bitch. Every class you call me stupid, and I started acting like I didn't understand your jokes but I do. That one time you called me an ogre? I think about that every time I look in the mirror. Die.

-g: you're so nice. I don't really talk to you but you're chill

Engineering:

-a: you're so funny ily

-m: sometimes you do or say things that annoy me, but you're cool

-a: you're funny and nice.

-j: you're funny and cool

-h: I love talking shit with you and you're so fun to play mobile games with at lunch

Science:

-S: you're such a dick. I'm only friends with you because if I leave you I won't be able to eat lunch with j, and I'll have nobody. But you make mean comments about people and have made me and my friend cry before.

English:

-m: ily you're so nice. I wish I sat beside you so I could talk to you more

-n: you're nice, but your humor hurts me sometimes. You tell me to kms a lot as a joke and sometimes I lowkey debate it

French:

-j: ily. You let me yap about Jeremy and Evan and literally anything I want and you don't really judge

Art and Jewlery:

-t: you're so pretty and kind. Literally trust you sm and I became friends with you in September

-h: sometimes you do things that make me feel like you're not nice, but other than that you're okay

-k: you're nice 👍

-o: you were literally my friend crush for the longest time I love your style and your art

People I eat lunch with:

-a: You're so nice

-a: sometimes you say things I don't agree with, but you're pretty okay

-b: I feel so bad for you when we're talking shit about arianna cuz you're the only one friends with her and none of us really like her

-d: I literally love you so much. You're my best friend. I love your cat and your dog and I love your parents and I feel like I'm a part of your family. I hope we move out together after high school and we blast theater kid music all day and I love calling you and being around you.

Online friends:

Tumblr:

@alchemicalwerewolf

You're so cool and I love talking to you and I love seeing your posts and spamming your ask box

@steph-schuyler

I'm so excited for our art collab. You're so cool

@afireformyheart

I love telling you about all my crushes and I love bugging you about random shit while you're busy

@ilov3b00kss0much

Ik I met you today but I loved talking to you

@th3p0rtalmaker

I love talking to you. Idk what it is it's just so satisfying.

@tatelangdonsgirl

I know we don't really talk anymore but I love seeing your tiktoks. You're so pretty and I really love when we spend all night texting.

All my other tumblr mutuals:

I love seeing your posts. Idc if we don't talk. I love you guys too

Tiktok/snapchat friends:

-E: ily. You're so funny and I love calling you

-N: I don't really know you but I'm glad I met you

-A: you were my best friend for a year straight. I would eat sleep and breathe you. I would wake up thinking about you and go to bed thinking about you. Then you spaced away and wouldn't tell me why. Then you replaced me. And it really hurt. And no matter how much I try, it'll never be the same.

[sapphirepatch]

Am I the only one who thinks the fandom got like 10 times worse since s2 of the reboot released?

[backslashdelta]

they don't know how you've haunted me, so stunningly

[necrotic-nephilim]

I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.

But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.

As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?

oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be

Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot

Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)

Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.

Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up

Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.

Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.

Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 25: Hippopotamus (What The Hell Is It This Time?)

My Hippopotamus rant is here. I love Hippo and I think this was one of the best examples of how putting something off for later can be a very good idea sometimes. So I didn't hear most of it until this summer, and hearing the whole album then was one of the biggest highlights of that time. Thank you modern era Sparks for always bringing us the awesomest music ever.

[cuteniarose]

Personally I find it really funny that based on what the twins said in the Book 2 finale re: having to tell their mom about what happened to Unalaq, it's literally canon that Unalaq's wife a) exists, b) is alive, and c) is just chilling in the Northern Water Tribe

She took one look at all the spirit fuckery her husband was getting up to and went "Well that's none of my business" and honestly I respect that

[pardonmydelays]

a little reminder for everyone: fandoms can be dangerously toxic sometimes and if you ever feel like being in this environment affects your mental health, it's totally ok to step back

[nobodybetterlookatme]

No one cares about your life. We just want you to post sneeze fic.

I also want me to post snz fic 😔

[averlym]

@remylong :

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[thousand-winters]

Okay, yeah, I'm not 100% settled on that because it just feels wrong, but I think I might quit Dadrius week for real and just. Not write the rest of the prompts.

I was thinking about how I was regretting not having written an angsty prompt for day 2 because I know people like angsty prompts more but the friends I consulted like the fluffy one more and I did want to write fluff so I was happy with that, but then the whole time I've been worried about not having enough angst in my prompts for people to want to really read my stuff and... idk, man. That's just off. I used to write things because I thought they were fun, not because I was agonizing over if people would read them or not, you know? Literally my first Dadrius fic was just me going "oh, my god, I want to write this so bad" and coincidentially it did get a lot of attention but at the time I was just SO excited about the idea and the composition the fic would have and that was literally it. I wasn't thinking about anything else, I was just having fun.

And I guess it's because in the past, when I wrote fics for this fandom, people did interact with me and I liked that, it was fun to talk to people about these things and whatever. And I don't get that anymore, which is fine, of course, I'm not entitled to anybody's time, but it's just not fun anymore. It feels like I'm just throwing empty words out there and it's so... boring. Like I don't know, maybe my writing just sucks, maybe it doesn't. My friends are very sweet and do seem to like it but you know, they do like me, so things I do they might see with sweeter eyes.

Idk, man. I just feel like I've been doing so many things for so long that haven't been for myself but for what it feels like it's expected of me and that's all. And it sucks even more because literally nobody expects this of me, I'm not fulfilling anybody's expectations, I'm just stressing myself out for nothing.

So idk. It might be good to just NOT.

[necrotic-nephilim]

i love your fics and the ideas you describe for the ask games. i'm especially fond of your takes on the rarer pairings and i always smile when i see your posts in the ship tags <3

and don't stress too much about not posting anything, real life is important and participating in fandom should be fun, not something you have to force yourself to do. god knows fandom burnout is real, especially if you feel like people are expecting something from you. just keep doing what makes you happy :)

ghgfhgjhkjhjhg this was so sweet, thank you so much! i *love* talking about rarer rarepairs, especially if it gets other people to ship them too. the popular ships are fun and all, but i truly love spreading rarepair propaganda.

that's very reassuring, thank you <3 i've loved everything i posted here so far and have not felt pushed to post anything i haven't enjoyed, but sometimes i forget i can like. use this blog for whatever i want and not *just* headcanons/fics/mets/etc lol. and i also forget i don't have to rush myself. it's annoying to want to write and either not have time or not have the words work. i used to run a fandom blog in my teens that got very large and felt like a chore and i was so stressed about the need to perform and the numbers and all of that. like if a fic didn't do well i saw it as a personal failing and forced myself to write popular headcanons just for the numbers game. was not fun or sustainable in the long run and i think it contributed to me no longer having any taste for the ship i primarily wrote for. so for too long i treated existing in fandom like a job lol. i've mostly gotten it through to myself that this is a space for me, but i occasionally forget when i'm so caught up in all the things i want to get to for this blog. my to-write list is a mile long and i need to be bonked with a paper towel roll, i think. so it's very kind of you to say this bc the reminder is nice <3

[tevatron]

i'm so glad i won't be working with my pi after this month. i think i've reached my limit. i just can't deal with her anymore

[localcryptic]

heyyy we saw you from across the bar and absolutely HATED your vibe

aka this is Sterling (they/she) and The Viper (they/them) in their "partners in crime" arc

[lavender-sunhaven]

man how do people like... regularly restart games like this? how do you easily start over? I have one main file (with Lavender) that I am EXTREMELY attached to. even if I'd kind of like to try marrying different people and seeing their rooms and achievements and stuff (or to just see Jun's wedding- which I was already married to him when the weddings were made special, so I haven't seen :( ), the thought of starting over from the beginning, especially on farm infrastructure and stuff sounds soul crushing and tedious. Is it like... Do you just like the build up part and not being successful at the end? Is it like... podcast zoning? How do you cope?

[letbuckfuck]

i think maybe it's not such a good thing that i've just totally shut myself off from the idea of dating at all because i thought it wasn't my thing. like maybe i should just be trying