#idk I'm just insane about them lately
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Do you think Izzy admired Edward when Edward shot him? Do you think he found him beautiful? Do you think his life, a life consumed by Edward, flashed before his eyes? Did he regret any of it? How could he when almost every second of it was spent alongside the man he admired most? Do you think he appreciated Edward's smudged makeup and wide eyes? Do you think he wanted to kiss him? Do you think that even when Edward was at his worst, Izzy loved him?
#idk if this makes any sense#idk I'm just insane about them lately#i just think izzy is constantly head over heals for Edward#bingo shut up#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#edward teach#blackhands#edizzy#pretty please dont find me cringe great Tumblr gods#i am but a silly autstic here to spread whimsy about gay old people
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guys the light deity is literally called light WEAVER ...... it makes sense to have pupa/grub dragons. they are weaving
#pinescreeches#flight rising#the fr drama has been crazy of late. honestly very interesting to watch#my 2 cents if anyone cares. i love the everlux#so grubby and fat and ugly#we need more ugly dragons ... which maybe is hypocritical since i didn't like dusthides. but they weren't really trying to be ugly. i think#this isnt' about them though#the sundial / seam ripper horn??? the grub/pupa/caterpillar themes???#they remind me of weaver ants ....#anyways people complaining about artwork problems as if every fr artwork doesn't have ten billion issues with it#ESP THE OLD BREEDS ... LIKE#it's ok it's the fr artstyle to be a bit bad i accept it and welcome it#and it's ok to just not like a dragon breed ... i'm insanely picky with mine#for instance i love the concept n stuff of tundras but i hate the actual art for it ... idk why#and i've never really been a fan of snappers. maybe cuz their art is so old (same w tundras)#also for bug phobic people ..... ok i get it. phobias are uncontrollable and irrational#some things are just gonna set it off even though it doesn't make any sense#and fear usually makes people aggressive to what scares them#but there is no need to be so violent towards everlux ....#like if someone had a dog phobia it would not be ok for them to be like “i hate how canid they look i hope they get wiped out and die” or#detailing gruesome imagery#so why is it ok when it's a bug ....#i mean i know why but i'm asking rhetorically here#man idk sometimes u are just not gonna like things and thats ok not everything is for you... like i don't like dusthides that much but that#okay. it's okaayyyy#writing a ten page paragraph over here in my tags#i just have a lot of thoughts
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#everything is wretched rn#i feel so unbearably lonely atm.#the more i get to know the 17-19 years old i work with the more i deeply dislike them and their values.#i can't even think about the state of the world without falling into crippling despair and existential dread#but at least i have my little story i'm trying to write#and its literally the only thing i'm clinging onto rn bc i feel like im going insane#and idk if my anxiety is just about the world in general rn#or if i actually do hate my new job/the people there....#or if im just tired or what#but everything is bad#everything is so fucking bad. on top of it my sleep has been so awful lately.#and its dark at 4pm#about moi#ignore me im having an existential crisis
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@remylong :
#newest broken telephone installment#the remy renaissance#or rather standard avvycc dms. broken telephone elements include ccsims designs of my old designs plus prev hp art plus the general sepia#of everything on fire. bonus to the chromatic aberration on hp it feels quite fitting (yknow bc the chorus behind his lines..) idk vibes#this colouring style is actl terribly fun i'm quite !!! about it. i'm also glad that I made reference sheets for them all long ago bc#otherwise i would have gone insane rrying to rmb them from scratch. lately despite the rainbow hp seems to overall be turquoise blue? which#is so fun compared to the more purple/ neutral blues and greys i have in mind for mark...#anyways doing well! getting back slowly into Making things again! having fun etc etc#have been in OC-land lately but nothing i'm ready to share yet haha#so occassional bit of fanart it is. i inexplicably want to draw hands now though i was walking back home#pondering my adamandi era (mad the most insane fanart i've ever made; no recollection of it now) and after enough mulling it over#it would be nice to return to it. don't think i'm as obsessed anymore but it's certainly not lacking in inspiration#ideas are there just havent reached the sweet spot where you get so taken by an idea you're compelled to turn it to reality#and i think itwould be fun. perhaps even gratifying to set wips to rest#so maybe. in the meantime px11 brokentelephone is sustaining my urge to make miscellaneous fanart haha#melliotverse so true. wonder why despite watching taopp i haven't been compelled to draw it but i get the inkling it's just that specific#aesthetic that doesn't do it for me. <blinks> it was very good and i enjoyed it immensely! i think i just surprised myself by being normal#about a musical for once. i think also bc irl i've been more Good Busy the drive to engage in fandom has dissipated somewhat..#so overall i think it's a good thing. just different. but then again this stretch of time is a transitory period for me so changing ought to#to be expected. ah well tldr don't overthink just do what sparks joy be happy? literally so lucky to be spoiled for choice wrt things#i want to do. so much to do and see and learn and time still to get to figure it all out!
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it's weird how jhope is Right There and he's like the Most Talented Person but some armys just. don't see him. should be studied
#if you do see him i'm not talking about you obviously#but it does happen#like before i got into bts#my mom and sister didn't really notice jhope#he was just There#and when i said he was my bias they couldn't say anything about him except for 'he's a sunshine'#they liked him but didn't actually care#well now he's their fave haha#but i think many ''armys'' stop at that first phase#where they see him as this funny clown but they don't notice that he's actually insanely incredibly talented and cool#his rap verses are ALWAYS top tier#everything about him is just top tier#yes i'm biased but also how can you not see it when you already stan bts 😭#soooo many armys like him just because he's there but not because they like HIM#and it shows#oh they're missing out#they notice when he supports the other members#(which is often because he loves them so much :'))#but wow they have this Artist right under their noses and choose to only see his (admittedly beautiful) smile#even after jitb and all that it meant#ok rant over#chicken noodle soup thank you for making me a jhope bias and saving me from this fate amen#hobi#bts#my post#it is Very Late perhaps that's why i'm saying this lol#oh one more thing i've never watched these introduction to bts videos#but i just KNOW they are shit about hoseok and his contributions to the group#if you don't have something interesting to say about all the members maybe don't make an ot7 introductory video idk just a thought
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the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...
there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things
#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because#i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on#even when people get left behind#it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well#like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors#and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day#because of those outside circumstances#and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya#and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable#the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else#anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair#sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it#obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept#part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for#his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl#i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta#its just my feelings about them in particular#haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest
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old lion guard rp blogs my beloved
#honestly i wish i was on here when people were actively doing them#if i was as hyperfixated on tlg back then as i am now#i would've gone insane for those posts i just know it#i mean. i am NOW#i saw one (1) nduli one and i was like YES!!! MY BOY!!!#i would genuinely be down to make an rp blog#but two problems with that#1. i think i'm late to the ball game (is that the saying? idk)#2. my rp skills are very dusty#the last time i was in an rp? prob almost a year#and the last time with someone i didn't know irl? errrrrr. a long time#but still. i'd do it#even if it was an rp blog in the sense that i'd just post how the characters would#it would be fun#i'm thinking about it#the lion guard#tlg#rp blogs#spinny rambles
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officially on vacation (don't leave until wednesday, but no more work!) and i'm happy happy happy BUT it's also like. there is some stuff happening at work that i'm soooo nosy about and i don't want to have to wait until i come back to hear about it lmfao.
#just stupid drama#i really wanna know if the guy we all HATE finally quits or not#there was an. altercation.... at work the other day#the coworker he's been shit talking came in early and was like heyyyy can we talk?#and he tried to get out of it like 5 times lmfao#he was like oh our manager was going to set up a meeting in A FEW WEEKS....#and she was like oh we can just talk now!! i'm here and i'd love to speak to you :-)#he was like ummm i can't stay late!!! and she was like oh there's an hour left on your shift! we can talk right now! :-)#fucking hilarious. he did not want to be confronted and thought he could get out of it but she's kind of insane so that is not happening#and the thing is too he was literally MOMENTS before complaining to us that he didn't know why she was mad that he was talking about her#because he NEVER talked about her! and everyone was LYING!#and i was like dude. you're talking about her RIGHT NOW.#it's lowkey sad though bc he has two 'friends' at work that i know for a fact have gone to the manager and told him that they don't#want to work w him anymore and complained about his work performance#and apparently that somehow came out and he's convinced that the manager is lying about it. but he's not... lol.#so it's just so sad that no one is being honest with him#lmfao i understand though bc i personally have been honest with him and called him out (VERY GENTLY) and he gets sooo pissy about stuff#but like i'm not pretending to be his friend!#anyways i'm sooo nosy about it lmfaooooo#on instagram he blocked me and like all of our coworkers but two lmfao#but i know both of them hate him so idk why he didn't block them too#lmfao like literally everyyyyyyy single person i work with dislikes him#so yeah i'm hopeful that it's finally over lmfao#this is the same guy i posted about before who bullied my favorite coworker into leaving so.#yeah i really hope he's gone now
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So I was literally just telling my friends about how excited I was for this newsletter that I assumed was going to drop tomorrow morning, and when I got home an hour later and refreshed my email I saw the newsletter and I got to hyped. OMG. the world is wonderful
#personal#utdr newsletter#I have so much to say about it.... i am sorry to my followers who do not care... I am so sorry#this is when I emerge and go crazy about everything. Like the royal guards comic#and the fact that gigi ships soriel and was the one that created the toriel slippers and now they are real. wear them on your feet. now#and the papyrus valentine letter gif with the dog.#Fangamer if you're reading this please send toby fox and gigi and chess and temmie free slippers#also the way toby said “I'm including chess in this one now. Chess come here” implying that they are all just in the same room was so funny#and somehow also heartwarming? like they're all just togetheri n person???/ I need more friends omg#yes I will be a bit unhinged about minor details. The year of the bunny and the year of the dragon....#I got so excited about it all that I didn't even finish reading it just yet. I got to ice skate and had to come here to scream into the voi#Thank you gigi. your game looks very cool! I'm going to listen to the soundtrack soon as well. It is super duper cool amazing actually that#they said they wanted to learn to make music in the interview and then right after it is the soundtrack that they made. Amazing#inspiring. showstopping. Also the thing that they yelled “YEAAAH” about. what are our theories. my instant guess was a ship related thing#like maybe noelle and susie confirmed? but idk#and gigi's concept art for chapter 3???? tv time#okay that's it for now and I will add more late when keep reading and going insane teehee. I still haven't even read all of the valentine'#cards yet.
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realtalk i know i write with like 3 dreams regularly (and have even more dream mutuals i don't write with as often... yet) and ship with all three of them to some degree but like. i don't Collect dreams and i sure don't do it for shipping. i always worry people will think im gonna try and auto-ship corinth.eus with them but like--yeah i love writing it. that doesn't mean the chemistry is always gonna be there! everyone writes dream differently and my corinth.ian feels VERY differently about each dream he comes into contact with (see: his constant manipulation of nix's dream vs his general disregard and disobedience of emma's) and even within ships the dynamic is gonna be VEEEERY different.
i love writing platonic dynamics with those fuckers too i prommy. the weird horny psychosexual obsessive shit is just another aspect of the Eldritch Batshittery i like best about the dynamic - it's not a requirement.
#( OOC. )#[ idk I've been worrying about this lately because I follow so many dreams and I want to write with all of them!!!!#but I'm afraid of seeming like I just want to ship for the sake of it when like. No....#I'm particular about my corinth.eus ships they have to be fucking insane djgjfjgjfg]
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man some of those tags on that "why did you follow this person" post got to me. man !!! !
#I LOVE YOU ????#➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous,she’s hysterical,and she’s exhausted.#i try not to worry about being Perceived too much bc crowd approval is the mind killer !! i want to blog earnestly !! to *be* earnestly !!#but lately i have been um... mal à l'aise. i shall admit.#but the things that i have been most Concernèd about. my impassioned r/v blogging. headcanon dumps. insane bs / ds crossover posting.#to see that all just so embraced. not as a *despite* but as a *because*#it's really genuinely moved me and reassured a lot of my doubts about being / posting here :''''' ) )#idk i am. Grateful. for my small warm little group here. like mostly at the end of the day i'm making my little doodles and putting them#up on the fridge. and it has brought me ... uncountable joy. that u guys smile at it when u open the fridge to make ur dinner.#anyways. i am cringe and i am free <3 hysterical woman rv shipper. or something
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August… time to get spooky.
#dadbots.txt#this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes.#I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh.#idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs.#best way to describe it LOL#been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just.#where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda.#just one of those moments yknow.#it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest -#- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing.#I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it.#I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month -#and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really.#don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often#and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow.#maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year.#not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat#though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all.#won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well.#and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really?#shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year.#I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now.#let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way.#hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽
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it's so difficult to articulate the feelings i get when i see my friends engaging in healthy and good behaviors like asking for emotional support and taking the time they need to arrive because i just can't and i know i'm wrong for it but it still feels incredibly isolating
#i ofc never show this externally because i know how to act like a person i know to show empathy etc etc#and when i say i'm wrong i mean that i recognize that it's my problem how i feel and it's caused by my own issues and#it's not something i would ever put on somebody else because as i said it's not their fault i'm too repressed to do anything#but still it feels so strange to see other people having many relationships and doing so many things and still being like :( i'm so lonely#or outwarldy saying they really want to talk and that they need support with something#or always being late#i support all of that!!!! but i also know i can't do that and when we discuss relationships i know i always relate to the bad people#in the story who are not open and who do things wrong and are not considerate enough and so on#there are these common expressions such as loneliness that have vastly different meanings for people and that difference not being expresse#externally really ever makes me feel insane because it makes me feel like other people apply their understandings to my experience#anyway this was inspired by me not having friends to do sports with and also feeling like an ed relapse could be on the way#but it's not like i can do anything to either of those things because first i would never force people to exercise if they don't want to#and my friends don't enjoy the same things as i do or at least not in the ways that i do and it would be difficult for me to ask them#and second it's not like anyone even knows anything and even if they knew what could they do. nothing#the kind of “aww remember to eat” thing just doesn't fuckign work for me i need to stab myself with something#two years of uni left two thesis to do but after that idk what's keeping me here there are things that i like and people i care about#but on the long run i'm just sad and will get more alone and lonely as time passes and people find their places in each others' lives#in between these episodes it's fine i like my space i like to do things alone it's exhausting to be with people all the time but yeah#shit talking
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me: spends hours cleaning the kitchen and bathroom simply because i wanted to also me: if i have to fold my laundry today i will spontaneously combust
#kitchen & bathroom: *happy bc i'm cleaning it*#living room & hallway: *feeling left out since i always clean late at night so i can't vacuum*#my side of the bedroom: would you PLEASE fold this laundry that's been sitting here for 3 days? would you PLEASE clear your desk off?#me: but i took out the trash! you should be happy!#my side of the room: ONLY BC YOU WERE TAKING OUT THE TRASH IN THE KITCHEN & BATHROOM & MAY AS WELL DO ONLY ONE TRIP#liv won't shut up#new goal: i can't clean outside of my room until i clean my room#though today was a good clean...i had a feeling out of nowhere to clean the fridge. so glad that i did.#so if y'all weren't aware i'm living w/ 4 other people. & i'm kind of the cleanest. like thats not saying a lot bc i still havent folded my#laundry but like. idk. i keep my mess on my side of the bedroom. & even then i limit it. i still try to organize at least once a week (i ju#didnt have time today bc of the fridge...). idk. i get if the bedrooms are a bit of a mess. but all of us use the kitchen. i would like tha#to be clean. honestly i clean that kitchen so much. i kinda feel like i'm the only one cleaning it...we're supposed to have clean checks bu#management keeps cancelling them so we've only had one#so it's like almost everyone else here just doesnt care about cleaning other than passing the clean check. vs me that likes to clean. so#anyway that fridge had not been cleaned or organized for a while...i found lots of moldy stuff that i just threw out. & someone was leaving#raw meat in ziplocs in the fridge & the juice was everywhere. none of this stuff is mine. all of my stuff is always organized in the fridge#i need to talk with them this is getting a little insane#i dont mind cleaning but if people could not make it harder that would be nice#also only me & one other roommate routinely clean & we're not the ones making the bigger messes so *shrug*#but i'm glad i cleaned the fridge we needed that mold out of there#but in general i should clean my room before cleaning the kitchen lol maybe thatll make me clean my room since i'm so obsessed with cleanin#the kitchen lol
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Because of Woke, schools now have to ask about your mental health after literally ruining your life.
#would actually rather kill myself then get mental health help from you people#i've cried so much over the past..13? months it's actually insane#my head hurts all the time and my eyes always feel like they're about to start bleeding.#like. you can work hard for literally your entire life#and a few bad months will ruin everything#“i noticed you've been reallly tired lately” YEAH AND YOU ARE THE FUCKING REASON#just LEAVE ME ALONE#ar ei haramjadara shobkichu shonibare dey. ami schooler baton dichhi kano? judi kono upokar pacchi na?#like. I know you people have never cared about your NTIL students but HOLY SHIT#and i have to go back to my sec school in a few days and i cannot mentally handle it.#idk what would be worse finding out i disappointed everyone or finding out i didn't because no one cared about me to begin with#i'm such an awful person fr#i literally have to stop myself from throwing myself off the building every morning.#i'm sick of getting rejected from everytinh i want#i really should just kill myself#people will call me stupid and then not even 2 minutes later ask me why i hate them#IDK HAVEN'T YOU JUST BEEN TELLING ME HOW BRILLIANT YOU ARE. TAKE A FUCKING GUESS. I HATE YOU#worst part is they're right#i AM fucking stupid and i DON'T deserve to be here#shd've killed myself before jae results so that someone who actually deserves this spot could get it#um.#tw suicide mention#i guess
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Testing His Patience
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: smut, jealous girlfriend, a bit toxic btw idk if Max even has a sister, I completely made Carla up
Now you have to admit that you were a jealous type of a girlfriend, but like really jealous, the possessive type of a girlfriend. It was something that you couldn't help and you weren't proud of it, but it was either that or you weren't interested at all. It's not your best feature, and you know it very well, but when you love, you love with all your heart, strongly and completely and that's exactly why you don't let anyone mess with or touch something that's yours.
You weren't really insanely jealous and acted like a crazy person about it, but Lando knew from the very beginning that you had a little jealousy problem, although you didn't always and constantly show it. For example, you were never jealous of his fans, but you would be jealous if Lando paid more attention than you would like to one of his girl friends or, for example, Max's sister Carla.
Oh, you didn't like her at all. She was a thorn in your side and you couldn't really do anything about it because she was Max's younger sister.
Carla was only 20 years old, but she sure didn't look 20. Lando's known her ever since he's known Max and Max is like a family to him. Their friendship is on another level, it's very special and they both mean a lot to each other. However, Lando always looked at Carla as Max's younger sister and she looked at Lando as Max's best friend.
And that was the case until half a year ago, when you noticed that Carla had turned into a "pick me" girl and that she was trying to flirt with Lando on several occasions in front of your own eyes.
At first you ignored it because you knew Lando would never even look at her that way, but when it started happening more and more often it started to bother you a lot. You told Lando about it, but he didn't take it seriously and just brushed it off.
Now Lando hated your jealous scenes. He loved you more than anything and showed it to you all the time, but he hated it when you used to give him a jealous outburst from time to time. It bothered him because he saw it as you not trusting him, and he never gave you a reason to not trust him, but sometimes you just couldn't bite your tongue even if you wanted to.
It was the same this time. An article online titled "Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell's Sister?" which talked about Lando possibly dating his sister and also had a picture of Carla hugging Lando after taking the pole position, was the final straw.
People didn't know about you and Lando. They didn't know that you have been together for two years because you agreed that you wanted to keep your relationship private and away from the media because Lando wanted to protect you and your relationship at any cost.
But lately, this idea of keeping a relationship private has started to do more harm than good precisely because they always linked up Lando with some girls and talked about how he was with them, when in fact he wasn't at all. All of that started to affect your self-confidence and it definitely increased your feeling of jealousy.
That led to arguing with Lando about Carla all over again and Lando was not having it.
"Y/n, please don't do this again. I had a busy weekend and I just want to lie down together and relax in front of the TV. Please stop."
"No, I'm not gonna stop! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of her making me feel like a fool!" You yelled clenching your fists.
Lando sighed trying to keep his cool, running his hands over his face and then through his curls.
"She does it all the time and even in front of me! I see the way she looks at you, the way she always finds an excuse to touch you, the way she always tries to prolong the hug with you, the way she's at every single race." Exasperated, you continued to speak in a raised tone, barely catching your breath.
"And you keep letting it happen! You never said anything to her nor have you ever done anything about it even though you know how it's making me feel, Lando!"
You continued to complain for probably another 3 minutes without stopping until you completely pushed his buttons. He abruptly got up from the couch where he was sitting at and walked towards you grabbing your waist and harshly pushing you against the wall. You winced in pain as your back hit the wall behind you.
"What? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fuck you in front of her? Is that what you want?" His eyes darkened as he yelled tightly gripping your hips. "I absolutely don't give a shit about her. I don't even notice all those things that you keep talking about because you are the only one on my mind." He continued talking, looking deep into your eyes, his gaze penetrating your soul.
"But do you realize that she is Max's sister and that I can not do anything about it because Max is like a brother to me. I love you, y/n, I love you more than anything in this world, but I don't ever want to put myself in a situation where I have to choose between you and him."
"No one even knows about us, Lando. Do you know how much it hurts me to see them trying to link you up with other girls that aren't me?" Your eyes slowly began to fill with tears, but you were still angry and wanted to prove your point so you didn't let them rush down your cheeks.
"But I kept us a secret because I wanted to protect you, y/n! I would love nothing more than to show you off every fucking day, but at what cost? So that they can completely invade our privacy? Send you death threats? Mess with your mental health? I'd fucking lose it if anything happened to you, y/n! Fuck!!" He yelled letting go of your waist and turning away from you trying to calm down.
You were angry, but he was angrier. His patience was wearing thin and you could sense it.
When you stayed silent for a moment, Lando thought that you had tried to give yourself a chance to understand this situation.
"Maybe you won't have to choose between me and him, but you will have to choose between me and her."
But when these words came out of your mouth, you completely drove him crazy with your stubbornness. He pulled your arm and threw you onto the couch hovering over you.
"Don't test my patience, y/n" He said through gritted teeth pinning your hands above your head. "I'm telling you, I'm getting sick and tired of this shit. How many times do I have to remind you that I only want you?" He asks grinding himself against you.
His mouth moved down to the level of your neck, pressing his lips to your thin skin. "Why do you always have to make things so difficult when you know that I'm only yours? What part of that don't you understand, huh?"
It was his time to talk now. His hand found its way down your stomach and into your panties making you moan at the unexpected contact.
Your back arched off the couch as two of his fingers slipped inside you while his thumb continued to rub your clit. You tried to close your legs around his hand, but that only resulted in him spreading them even more and watching you whimper open-mouthed beneath him.
"From now on," He kissed you hard and passionately before he started. "Every time you try to act like a brat, i will treat you like one. I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for days." His fingers quickened their pace as he held you firmly down on the couch with his other hand.
You were so wet, so close. "Oh, fuck, Lan.." You whimpered trying to grab his wrist.
"But you'll never get to cum, if you don't stop acting like that." And just when you were about to, he stopped pulling out his fingers that were glistening with your wetness. You whined almost crying out when he decided to deprive you from the release you needed so bad.
He pulled off your leggings and unclapsed your bra, leaving you in only black panties and a tight crop top that showed your hard nipples. He leaned down to kiss you, his tongue fighting against yours, before he pulled down his grey sweats and shirt tossing them somewhere to the side.
He grabbed his hard prominent member through his boxers grunting as he pumped himself through the fabric. You tried to move to a sitting position to be closer to him and kiss his stomach all the way to where he needed you the most, but as soon as you tried to get up, he pushed you back down on the couch. He pulled down his boxers freeing his cock and taking it in his hand. He hovered over you again and pressed his red leaking tip against your clothed folds rubbing himself up and down.
"Do you want to cum, baby?" He asked leaning down closer to you and pressing a soft kiss on the side of your neck.
"Yeah, I do."
"Yeah? Does that mean you're going to be a good girl for me then?" He asked squeezing your boob then lifting up your crop top just above your nipples. Your response came out as a whimper as he stuck his lips around your nipple and began sucking on it.
"I can't hear you, baby" He let go of his cock and let it rest against your stomach as both of his hands played with your breasts.
"Yes,-ah- yes"
Holding your breasts, his teeth bit your nipples so hard that you cried out in pain.
"Ah, Lando, it hurts, fuck" You whined. The pain was so stinging it made one tear roll down your cheek.
"Shh, it's okay, baby, it's okay" He cooed you kissing your cheek and now gently caressing your nipples with his thumbs while grinding his cock against your stomach. "You like it when it hurts, don't you baby?"
He moved your panties to the side and positioned his tip at your entrance. "So wet for me" He commented spreading it with his tip all over your slits. Your fingers went down to your clit as he pushed in. The face he made when it first went in, head thrown back, eyes closed, lips slightly open letting out a long moan in relief, it almost made you cum right away.
He stayed still for a moment, not wanting to move because he was so painfully hard that he knew he would come in a matter of seconds and he wanted to at least wait for you.
He pulled you by your thighs even further down on him and then hovered over you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pressed his forehead against yours.
He started thrusting in slow, but deep and hard knocking the air out of your lungs. "C'mon, baby, take it, take it like a big girl" He said holding your face between his hands.
You were so turned on by his words. You loved it so much when he'd be angry like this and then ruthlessly took all of his anger out on you. You could feel yourself dripping down as he kept ravaging you with his cock.
"I-I'm so close, Lan" You whispered.
"Yeah, baby?" He took your leg and lifted it up to wrap them around him. That way he got to thrust even deeper into you, knocking your mind out of your body. "You gonna cum around my cock?" He asked against your skin.
Before you could even answer, you threw your head back against the couch, you gripped his shoulders tightly trying to resist him and get away because the pleasure was so intense you couldn't take it. But he didn't let you escape from under him, he continued to fuck you through your orgasm as you screaming out his name filled his ears.
"That's it. That's a good girl." He praised you kissing your chest to calm you down as you were barely being able to catch your breath.
"You can take it a little longer, love yeah? I'm almost there." The weight of his body was completely pressed against yours, you could feel his heartbeat, see beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he kept pounding into you like his life depended on it, like you were the only thing keeping him alive.
Once you pressed your lips against the sensitive spot on his neck and ran your tongue over it, he lost it. His breath hitched, head tilted back, grip tightened around your waist and soon he was cumming inside you, filling you up to the brim.
His head fell on your shoulder and you wrapped your arms around him, wanting to hold him even closer to you if that was even possible.
When both of your breathing calmed down and your pulses returned to normal, Lando pulled out of you. He watched as his cum rushed out of your pussy at the loss of him and hissed at the sight. "Fuck, baby" He leaned down and kissed your thighs making you blush.
...
The next race weekend, Lando took P1 and you were there to support him. You blended into the group with Max and the rest of his friends including Carla.
You were annoyed that she was here for yet another race and once again doing everything to draw his attention to herself. But you weren't going to let her get the best of you this time.
Although when Lando came closer to all of you to celebrate his victory, she was the first one to go and hug him. At that moment your heart ached and Lando saw the sadness in your eyes as you stood on the side watching him from afar. At that moment, he finally understood what you've been talking about all this time. He felt your hurt through your teary eyes and therefore without a second thought he made his way through the crowd to you, pulling you to himself and trapping you into a tight hug and a passionate kiss in front of thousands of people and cameras before whispering
"It's always you."
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