#idk I personally think it's mild since it's kinda just one part and it doesn't look that bad

[kakyogay]

hngfh saint campaign pebbles...

TW blood and mild robot gore under cut

A bit of info uuuuuuuh he can't feel that arm and doesn't have a lot of control over it but he's living ig

[skullyragdoll]

Thoughts on episode 13 cuz i forgot to post earlier :P

This is so late lol, its a collection of my thoughts and ramblings.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! So much happened in this episode!!!!!

Levi is a murder and doesn't care for other people.

Ok, so I didn't see this coming even though there were a lot of hints. I just always thought he was bad at picking up on social cues and dealing with intense people like Ace, which I guess is still true just in a stronger way. The fact that his whole gentle and mild mannered act was fake is a little sad cuz I liked his fake persona, but I think him faking being nice is a cool twist. Although this does change the way I like characterized his previous actions in my head, I think that the new drama and angst it adds is really intresting!!!!! :D

2. Acevi getting torn to shreds ToT.

Every acevi shipper is like crying cuz of this rn, and I am too, even though I knew it was probably never gonna be canon. But I don't think its completely dead cuz Ace kinda implies one sided acevi might have existed during chapter 1.

3. Acevi Angst!!!! One sided Acevi!!! ToT

Ok so this made mee screeam!!!! The angst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We finally get Ace angst!!!!!!!!!!!! This is what I've been waiting for since chapter 1!!!!!!!!! Acevi angst!! It hurts so much to see that deep down ace did really care about Levi ToT. Ace's sprite looks sooooo good!!!!!!! (Also this is so gay and i luv it).

4. Ace seems to mention his friend from the Q&A.

Ok so it looks like Ace mentions his friend from the Q&A that I forgot the name of lol. But here he says it would be "an insult to his memory" which to me, implies that his friend is dead, or atleast not his friend anymore. I can't wait for the angst!!!!!!

5. Hu and Veronika's secrets

Most people predicted the secrets correctly, it is sad :(. But its good that it seems that Hu has grown and seems to be in a healthier place. But I am also a little scared cuz Hu might be the killer and she is getting a lot of screentime and moments were she girlbosses.

6. Teruko's secret...

I believe that this is not Teruko's real secret as it seems like it's obviously about Xander. I think that David used this as a trap or something to try and get more information out of Teruko, which is why I think he made that evil face. I'm not sure how David knew that Min's clue was Xander's, maybe he told David in private in chapter 1? But Teruko's belief that this is her secret is interesting...

So, even though I don't think this is Teruko's secret, the fact that she thought it was means that she feels like the death of her family was her fault, likely because of her luck. But the most interesting part of this for me is the fact that the secret mentions the death of Teruko/Xander's parents and siblings. This kind of implies that Teruko might have been lying about her brother being alive, or she believes that he died after he got adopted. And yes, this could be a coincidence but the specific phrasing of "parents and siblings" seems like it was meant to imply this since it could have been phrased as family instead. But obviously this could also be a coincidence, especially since it also says siblings, and Teruko claims she only has one so Idk, its up to u whether u think its a coincidence or not.

7. WHY R THEY DOING THIS TO MY HEART!!!!!!!!!  😭😭😭

Arei's scene with David was so sad and so wholesome!!!! It literally made me so sad, I got so scared when she said that she was a bad person but then what she said about them being imperfect together cuz perfect people don't exist is soooo wholesome. This is extra cute cuz her whole arc was about being scared to be vulnerable around people but she was willing to be honest and kind with David even after she knew he was a liar. Also the next thought...

8. WHAT THE HECK EDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I literally screamed when I saw this, I was so shocked, draw dropped. And I didn't even notice the fork thing, I thought it was a wrench until I went to tumblr and saw everyone talking about the fork and xander connections!!!!!!! THis is crazy!! Eden what happened!?!

In more seriousness, since I believe Teruko's secret is about her being the reason for the killing game and who appears like Xander says all this stuff in episode 1, I wonder what happened. Did Teruko accidentally cause the killing game and Eden tried protecting Teruko from Xander, or were Teruko and Eden like evil/manipulative. I have no idea, I also don't know who was the one telling Xander to kill Teruko. (The phrasing of "end the killing game" could imply that they were in a previous killing game, but I think that's probably me reading too much into it since he's probably just trying to end it before it starts.)

Anyways I'm so interested in what Eden did since she is one of the kindest characters, and that was one of the best twists in Drdt.

9. Why is Whit so upbeat and why does he know so much about hanging?!?!

Whit is always upbeat during trials, he even made a joke about Min's execution earlier in chapter 2. I understand that its probably cuz he's comic relief and its probably a coping mechanism for all the death but it is still kinda suspicious. He also knows a lot about breaking necks through hanging like Veronika, so that's either sad or suspicious. Anyways I don't think he is the killer but I know some people think he could be the mastermind and yeah is kind of suspicious. But based on what he said in episode 7 in the movie room about Teruko grieving its probably just a coping mechanism.

10. Nico!?!?

Ok, so I don't think that Nico is actually the killer, especially since there would probably one of those selection screen thingies. But I know that a lot of people suspect that Hu assisted with Nico's murder attempt because Nico used a wire while Hu's special weapon was a wire. (I'm obviously not the first to say this I saw people talk about a bunch of months ago). This kinda makes me think that Hu could be the killer since she could have helped Nico plan the murder and she could have reused the methods for Arei's murder. Hu was also the most reluctant to give up her secret, so if she wanted to keep her secret safe she could have committed the murder. Hu does have an alibi but it is with Nico in private. (Also now after the time reveal it may not have to do with the secrets since it was the morning after). Also I don't think Hu was the one who actually tried to kill Ace because Nico admits to it in part 1 of chapter 2, and that would also kinda takeaway from Nico's agency and possible character arc and stuff. Anyways I kinda hope it isn't Hu cuz she ate David up last episode and I don't want her to die.

That's it, hope u enjoyed my ramblings lol :P

[theboardwalkbody]

Time to play:Is it Taltz causing my immune system to fail or is it Normal?

Two weeks ago I had sinusitis symptoms. Took antibiotics and it helped.

That same weekend I ended up in the hospital with what turned out to be a bladder infection (which I had 0 symptoms of prior to the extreme pain it ended up causing) and, according to the scan at the hospital I also have a cyst of "significant size" on my ovary which between that and the swollen bladder have been working together to cause chaos.

Plus I got a cold sore. My paternal grandmother got them all the time and passed them to my sister and I as babies and sometimes if I've been sick enough they come out. It's had me in a bad place mentally because of my own personal feelings about it.

Still battling some issues with that despite the antibiotics but now I'm not sure if it's infection or just the cyst.

Now last Friday I woke up with a sore throat and mild congestion. Over the weekend both things have been getting worse.

I couldn't sleep At All last night. I tried going to bed around midnight but my throat was so dry and my sinuses hurt I was too uncomfortable and just kept tossing and turning until about 230. At that point I remembered the window was open and thought maybe the dry air coming in was causing it so I shut it. It helped a little. I wanted to drink something but I've been hesitant since the bladder issues are worse at night and it makes me not want to drink anything.

I tried to do some day dreaming hoping it would lead to real dreaming and it did but only for about 40 minutes.

From 315 to 415 I once again struggled with the intense dry throat and pain.

Now from 415 to 6 I couldn't shut my brain up. Intense racing thoughts and anxiety related to work.

I missed work last Monday because of the bladder stuff. I was in so much pain and had added nausea from the antibiotics.

I was supposed to start a new case today, a new patient's first day with our company. I really wanted this case for a few different reasons and I think it would be a really good fit.

But I've been awake all night, I feel run down, I feel hot, my throat is hurting, my sinuses are burning, I feel so tired.

They said it's OK and to feel better when I called (finally made the decision at like 615 because I was supposed to be up and getting ready to leave for 730) but I feel so guilty. I feel like it reflects bad on me and the company and it's day one and I really wanted this case and I hope they don't take me off it for good because of this and idk.

I spent hours beating myself up over it before I called and now I'm still beating myself up over it. Despite knowing I'd be suffering during a full 8hr hands on shift with the night I had and how I feel in general because of whatever is going on.

So I'm kinda miserable all around.

I keep trying to convince myself it's just allergies. Because the pollen and the blooming trees, and the change of weather, etc. But I took allergy meds and they didn't do anything. I took the 24hr pseudoephedrine and still nothing. I think it's either the sinus infection has come back or maybe it's a new one, or possibly tonsillitis because on Saturday I did have some spots on my tonsils (I get tonsil stones though and because of my cold sore I didn't poke around at them to see if it was stones or not) and they are swollen (which for me is normal anymore but they look extra swollen and red now).

So idk.

Part of me wants to be like que cera, cera

But the bigger part of me (where the anxiety and mental health issues live) is going to beat myself up over today.

My Lola knows I'm not feeling great and I'm upset because, despite the fan being on which she doesn't enjoy, she jumped down from her loop/perch and is laying on the bed with me (she did use the opportunity to scratch the curtain, though). She's going to snuggle with me and then get zoomies. It is prime for zoomies.

[rubellynwoolsworth]

Sure! sorry for taking so long to respond, had a busy few days.

I was thinking of making a youtube video combining how I made this texture along with the light reflections in my first post once I finalized the design for both, so keep in mind this texture is very unfinished and held together with band-aids and fake reflections. I wouldn't really recommend using this material for like, actual renders and stuff. This'll prob be kinda long though so details under the cut. Also I'm not too experienced with materials and shaders so apologies if its inefficient or sloppy. I am open to suggestions to make it resemble the anime better. Here's the overall node group if the text isn't decimated by screenshot scrunching. I kinda changed the setup a bit since the original post so apologies if it looks too far off, but all the key features are still there so

I started off with two layer weights for the Fresnel value, which gives that sort of rim lighting effect. For the initial toon-shader-esque blues, I just used a constant color ramp and then connected it to a weaker Fresnel value with a mix color with white for the highlights.

The second part that's connected to it is a bit rough so idk how effective or scuffed it is, but it adds a sort of 'fake lighting' based on the camera's reflection via texture coordinate. I combined a noise and voronoi texture together (which apparently makes a really good camo texture) alongside another constant color ramp to select parts of the noise/voronoi texture to add to the material's fake lighting effect. You can also prob see the beginnings of the main hair highlight in this stage and that's so it isn't affected by the fake lighting.

I actually showed how I made the highlights in the last step using just the texture coordinate reflection, mapping, and color ramp, but since the color wasn't as bright as the image behind it, I added a hue/sat/value to increase its brightness by increasing the value. I had to rotate and move the highlight using the mapping for full effect. In the initial post, I added an extra band by just adding another set of blue into the color ramp.

(Mild disclaimer, I normally wouldn't use this somewhat lazy method for hair highlights, but I felt it was sufficient for the gemstone hair, at least for now. There are way better procedural hair highlight tutorials out there on youtube which I would normally use instead)

This is just sort of a personal preference for gemstone textures and doesn't have to do with the blender model , but I added two voronoi textures (with one being a smaller size than the other to show reflections), added them, and colored them with an overlay texture.

I finished the color part of the texture by adding another light reflection via just a reflected added color ramp with another Hue/sat/value.

The actual shading part moreso uses just a combination of an emission and a sheen bsdf, using the inverted color as a fac.

The issues are somewhat with the lighting portion since in an actual render it doesn't reflect well due to the fake lighting from earlier not taking the actual lighting into account, hence why I wouldn't really recommend this method for actual renders, since it doesn't really reflect like the hair in the anime.

Apologies for the ramble. The texture wasn't really built for like, actual lighting, and moreso just works as a one-off experiment. I'll probably try to learn more about shaders to make it work more like the anime.

Was going to redesign my crystalline texture based off of the HnK anime and maybe make a video about it but I spaced out and so I don't really know what I did to achieve this look...

Idk if I achieved what I set out to do necessarily but its a good first try methinks. I used a lot of layer weight nodes and texture coordinate reflections so I doubt it would work if exported to, say, unity or something but I can prob try and will update if anything interesting happens.

[nonokoko13]

SXF Chapter 65

Hi! How are you doing? Hope you are well. It's been a while since I last made review, I kinda missed it haha. I thought it wouldn't take me too much to analyze it but it ended up being longer than I expected, hope you enjoy yourself as much as I did when I read this chapter!

TW: Mild swearing in some parts. Sorry, I'm quite foul-mouthed

Of course, this has spoilers from spy x family's manga, I warned you. Now, let's go onto it!

This analysis continues here and here

Everything starts with Anya asking Yor to buy her "crunchy tea cakes" and then remembering what Damian told her about a cake. Anya seems to think only about pastries last chapters and honestly? Can't blame her lol

Seems like Anya's perception about Damian seems to be the same as usual, because in previous POV flashbacks she always imagine him with the most clown-ish face and an OOC personality. Not Bond having trauma related thoughts after he ate Yor's homemade cookies here 😭😂

While she goes on her way to buy sweets it occurs that habit of hers of thinking that the insignificant, harmless thing is related to killing and/or getting arrested by the SSS, just because she doesn't know where to find the crunchiest tea cakes.

Poor woman doesn't get herself any time to relax and stop overthinking everything, tbh very relatable. I would say it's her signature mood but seems that all the Forgers do it, only that with each one the consequences are different (Yor thinking they'll hand her to the SSS or just thinking everything is related to killing/death, Anya thinking she'll go to the orphanage again and Loid... Loid thinks of almost every type of consequences really, the major one that Operation Strix fails tho)

This panel is obvious foreshadowing, it was seeing it and I thought "So this is where it is going..."

Yor still has doubts about what it's normal, aka accepted by society about who you are or what you have to do in your everyday life to be considered so.

It's sad this is actually something that many people suffers this insecurity irl, the main problem that Yor has is that she hasn't realized yet that there is no universal truth as a "normal" way to act upon or live like and normal is just what a bunch of people from a certain place think it's like. Moreover, it's just a really reaally subjective concept that it's wrongly used to describe what's usual and/or morally acceptable in the eyes of those who use this term. Note to say, these three words are not the same, but they're usually switched with one another.

Hope she'll someday reach that conclusion and just behave as she pleases while she doesn't do anything illegal like letting Anya drive with her age

Heading to the pastry shop, she saves a woman who I knew she will later interact more with. Gotta say, if Yor hasn't gone to the rescue not only those things inside the boxes would have been spoiled/broken, but Melinda could have died or get severely injured falling from the stairs is serious business fr

Also, it will sound silly but when I saw Melinda's face here it reminded me of Sylvia since both have triangular/"teardrop" eye shape. Yor looking cute as usual

Melinda invites Yor to join her and her friends from the lady patriots society to an all-mothers volleyball game,and with this we can the three human members of the Forgers have played at least once in a sports "tournament". Actually 4 counting Yor VS Fiona tennis match, but that was just a "friendly" game. Bond, you're next

Gotta say she looks great on the volleyball uniform, but it called my attention how she blushes and gets all flustered when she realizes she's wearing shorts. Looking back on time she has always been shown wearing dresses, skirts and in one of the "extra: Yor fashion week" outfits a pair of trousers, all of them being at least covering up around the knees.

Is it because of the mentality of that time about not showing too much [leg in this case] or is she just easy to get embarrassed? It might be both idk, it just surprised me her reaction as I didn't think she would be the type to get scandalous about not covering too much, although seeing how easy she got embarrassed with Yuri's speech and Loid's attempt of seduction I should have seen it coming. I wonder how she'd react to someone who wears often like that, but knowing how kind she is she probably wouldn't treat them different from others, only getting embarrassed when she wears something like that. Or I'm just overthinking and it doesn't go that far her reaction and I shouldn't have needed two whole damm paragraphs for this lmao

Getting back at the chapter, seems that despite her strength and overall non-human physical abilities her team lost towards the Northside team, goddammit!

Tbh it was predictable with how many times Yor must have breaken rules, I mean it's remarked twice so

But hey! They had fun, that's all matters!

After the battle Yor opens up a bit with the mommies and confess that she doesn't know what to do neither as mother and wife, which the group relates to and reassures her that not knowing what to do is normal, a light-hearted moment and something that many people should hear (specially those in their 20s when you are turning adult-ish and think that you should have figured out your entire life by then, a big mistake we make, a harmful thought that we as society reinforce and a big struggle that I can relate myself)

With the warm moment comes the unexpected plot twist. I was too emerged on the Yor getting friends scheme to see it coming until they brought up the kids topic and I went from "Ooh" to "OOOOOOH" with this

Being aware that she's a Desmond, I have to say:

1. After reading it I saw many reactions and users talking about this chapter and some were surprised that Mrs Desmond were such a seemingly kind person. Which? Honestly?? I thought it was going to be the case so it didn't surprise me.

I mean, in this post I talked about my theories regarding Mrs Desmond, mostly her marriage and her role in the family, and although I didn't said that she was going to be a saint I speculate she could be the cheerful, loving member that the Desmond's household so much needs.

With this I believed that in order to balance her husband's cold and reclusive behavior she could be the opposite: a woman who in public surrounds herself of people and is or seems to be friendly with everyone, perhaps sharing personality traits with Damian and not only her looks (which now seems possible).

Being nice towards strangers or your friends doesn't define a person as a good parent, good person ≠ good mother, so we'll have to wait until we see more of her and her sons and pray that Damian has at least one good and loving figure in his life.

2. The Illuminati-like symbol in both her earrings and ring makes me believe she may be related with a third party. We know WISE and SSS, and that symbol doesn't belong to any of them, so it may be an organization led or supported by the Desmonds?

SSS technically isn't a spy organization, more like a state service, and I always wonder if there's a East counterpart of the western spy agency, maybe this is the hint of a East WISE's existence? It would be so fun if I got the idea of Melinda being a spy or some sort of physical/strategical trained person right.

3. Talking about symbols and organizations, if you reread the chapter or this post it's said that Melinda is a member of the lady patriots society. Given that patriotism is often how conservative/right wing parties describe themselves I think this could have also been a foreshadowing of Melinda being Mrs Desmond, since Donovan is the leader of the National Unity Party (which seems to be leaning to right wing); also a nice detail that let's you wonder what do the moms do or talk about apart from playing sports and making tea parties. Would be their political ideology as extremist as Donovan's seems to be?

4. When the fuck are we going to meet Demetrius. Seriously, everyone or at least those who remember he exists are waiting to confirm if he got Melinda's looks or if he's going to be the second sleep paralysis demon of this fandom alongside his Frankenstein progenitor. To think I believed he would make his appearance before his mother 🤡🤡🤡

5. Calling Melinda already as Yor's friend and stating how Yor has achieved the goal Anya and Loid searched isn't quite right. Don't get me wrong, I want Yor to make friends (because her coworkers are kinda bitches and as much as Camilla taught her how to make a stew in one occasion doesn't redeem how disrespectful and mean she has been with Yor); Twilight has Frankie, Anya has Becky, it's about time Yor has friends on her own. The fact that she has been able to meet with a Desmond is half of the goal already achieved, true.

But that just hasn't completely happened yet: Melinda and Yor just met, Yor was asked to join them as a way to thank her for her help and because Melinda was amazed by Yor, they are talking to each other rn. It's not finished yet, more like a ongoing first meeting.

Also, did you see what happened when Melinda remembers where she heard the name Forger before? Maybe it's just me, but those three panels focused on her face/eyes. The "dust motes" on the air. The way she leaves the cup of tea and introduces herself, going from shocked to a returned yet different smile.

There was a shift in her behavior. I know it.

As if she's with her guard up, or she's aware who she's dealing with. You cannot convince she didn't change her behavior and switched to a sudden more calm, polite attitude. Doesn't it ring a bell?

It gives similar if not the same vibes as Loid when he met Donovan, knowing he had to be careful with what he says and doesn't let the other what are his intentions. It's just, that smile, THE smile,, I have seen it too many times before and the ones who smile the calmest are usually the ones you shouldn't believe.

"Looks like she can kill you, _______" meme vibes right there. Is she the brain behind the main boss in the series rn? Is she a spy or some kind of manipulate person who disguises their true colors like one? Or not?

Moreover, in both Mr and Mrs Desmond introductions Anya wasn't there so there's no way to know what Donovan was really thinking then, and it seems we won't know Melinda's thoughts either.

This cliffhanger gives more questions than answers, what did Melinda remembered about the Forgers? Did she only think about incident between Anya and Damian, or did also Donovan told her his meeting with Loid and now she's suspicious about how two Forgers, now three, has found a way to meet her family?

That fascination Melinda had about Yor abilities who helped her while she performed maneuvers with boxes can change quickly. From a random kind stranger you have nothing to do with seems pure casualty you met, you think WOW, not much thought about it; but when it's the mother who raised a kid with such strength that they threw your kid to a wall? It's a matter of perceptions and the information you have about the other which distorts the general impression you have.

I hope this is just another of Endo's tricks where he wants to make us suspicious of Melinda and she ends up being as sweet as she was in the beginning, that Yor gets to be genuine friends with her or any of the moms there (although knowing who Melinda is affiliated with I'm not sure if Yor making friends there is a good idea), but as for now I don't trust her, I just, nope. Neither I discard all those ladies may be wonderful as friends, but let's not jump into conclusions and gets our expectations up.

All in all I can't wait to read the next chapter to find out how things will turn out with Yor and Melinda. Praying that it will work out just fine 🛐

[morsobaby]

For your ship thing, how about:

Beloterra (as in belos X terra, I think it's got potential)

Squirrelcrow (Squirreltail X Crowfeather)

Whitestorm X Tigerclaw

Also Jayce X Vic Vs Jayce X Mel?

Beloterra ??/10 uh well I had to mull over this one for a bit ngl. I've looked into it a bit. There was one post that explained and elaborated really well on why they'd make a good pair and it was good! But Belos hates witches. Regardless of how much they may have a good connection with him. But now, if we ignore that part.. Honestly I really have a hard time imagining Belos in any romance? Also Ironically despite being an actual White cracker™ who probably comes from the age that sees homosexuality as a mental illness, I cannot see him liking women lmao. Take this lightheartedly please. But in more seriousness, to me, Belos as a character truly shines in other relationship dynamics. Familial, authorial, antagonistic and so on. There's much more interesting stuff to be done with him and his personal relationships and I just can't really imagine the kind of person in the show that he'd fall for. Ngl I'd probably be annoyed if they gave him a romance in the show (obv. Depends alot on how it's done but Idk). This isn't me going "Bad guys don't get to have romance u_u" at all, this is just me saying I'm not sure how I'd vibe with shipping culture™ + Belos.

But I must admit, I think unrequited romances would be kinda fascinating for him. Either in the case that someone likes him and he doesn't like him back, or the other way around. Just something.. Complicated, ykno?

Anyway, despite that, I definitely accept this ship into my house 👍

Squirrelcrow 5/10 (I think you meant Squirrelflight? Bc I can't really think of who the other one there would be otherwise. Correct me if I'm wrong ofc). Nah. Don't see the appeal. I get that people make the argument that she and Crow coulda played off each other much nicer and had an interesting relationship, also minus the age gap Squilf has to Bramble, which is Def a plus. But meh. I'm not feeling it at all. I see your argument and I can respect it but I don't care about this ship at all. I really really don't think Crowfeather would be much better of a boyfriend than Brambly. Not as bad probably! But not good enough in my eyes. I think either someone else entirely or just. Let her be single and heal. With her friends and family. Please. I don't feel super strongly about this in the negative way either tbh but I definitely don't care for it at all. I ignore it.

Whitetiger 8/10 yes. Nods. I'm not like Uber invested in this ship but I definitely think it's a good one, especially considering what other ships Tigerclaw has in the Fandom.. *side eyes them in mild discomfort*. Anyway. I'm not sure if I have much to comment? I think it's cool how people noticed these two as an item bc before being introduced to the ship I wasn't aware they basically grew up together?? That's dope! I love their sort of. Relationship development I guess? At least as much as the fans have expanded upon it

Jayce x Vic vs Jayce x Mel - okay so. I think I've touched upon this briefly when I mentioned my aro(spec) hcs, and Mel was on it. I don't wanna say I dislike Mel and Jayce's relationship but it's really bland fr. It's painfully obvious how this is just "Man like woman, obviously!". Like Idk if it was just me but right up until they boned i was 90% convinced she'd turn out to be a twist villain or stab him in the back or just, like have some. Suspicious things going on. Her interest and interactions with Jayce were not romantic at all imo, if anything I'd probably have to say it just seemed like pure lust. Which, good for them I guess, that's valid too. But you get what I mean?? There were no sparks. They sure had A dynamic, but not a romantically coded one. To me at least.

With that said I'm not gonna protest the fact that they're together, even though I'm just facepalming at it. I'll just let it exist since clearly that's how they wanna tell this story and apparently one gay couple is their maximum quota for this show (looks at Vi and Cait). However, Jayce and Viktor have an infinitely more interesting dynamic and a much more genuine feeling relationship. They actually seem to have a connection and care for each other as people, to an extent I don't see with Mel. To me it felt like she was more interested in Jayce for his inventions. I honestly do with it woulda been Jayce and Viktor, and not just bc "Gay uwu" but genuinely bc it would be very engaging to explore their relationship develop. Ofc, relationships don't need to be romantic to be engaging. But just, with Jayce being a poster boy of the upper class and Viktor rising up from the dumps, it would create interesting conflict for them! Explore that please! It was so cool seeing them work together bc they play off of each other so well! And they were given actual bonding moments!!!!

I'll just say. They both exist to me, in my heart. The way I see it, Jayce and Mel are queerplatonic and Viktor has Feelings™ for Jayce, who is probably a little suppressed about his own feelings for him. Ofc it does clearly seem that he cares for Mel as well. I don't feel annoyed enough to gloss over that. But to me this is how it works and I'll be fine if they explore Viktor and Jayce's relationship in a meaningful way later on.

Also I'm not hating on Mel btw. Tbh I kinda wish she'd turned out to be a bit more devious, that woulda been interesting to me. I feel like she was only allowed to be interesting towards the end of the season (before that she was honestly just "Hot,,, lady👀👀support Jayce inventions??? She is mysterious and graceful,, in a hot way")

[manjiroscum]

Hi Pat! How are you?

I wanted to get input from some of the reader insert writers on tumblr on something and I hope you can help.

So as a community that has fully adopted that trigger warnings are good and needed on writings that require them, I was wanting to know if you (as a writer) think it would be ok for me (the reader) to ask a writer to label a piece of theirs with a trigger warning of "fluff -> angst".

Let me give some context, I feel that it's kinda needed. So I'm the type of person who gets super invested in anything I read, especially reader insert since that's kind of the point. But sometimes its to my own detriment because I can ruminate on something for a long time that will affect me emotionally. Now while yes I fully agree that's my own personal issue and I need to police myself, I do. I refuse to read anything labeled "angst/pure angst/hurt no comfort", because I know emotionally it would affect me terribly. However, if it has fluff as a TW that typically alludes to angst being in the beginning or middle and fluff at the end, basically I will read angst so long as it has a happy ending; but I won't read pure angst for my own safety.

So I read a one-shot a few weeks ago with separate TW of fluff and angst and naturally assumed it was angst in the beginning and fluff at the end which is ok for me to read. But it wasn't, it was fluff in the beginning and angst at the end. As I said I read it weeks ago and I'm still hung up over it, and I know that if it was labeled "fluff -> angst" I wouldn't have read it. So I thought about asking the writer to relabel it because I doubt I'm the only person like this and it could be helpful for others but part of me also feels as if asking them is idk petty? Or I think the writer might be uncomfortable or feel attacked by my request. I just feel like asking for a relabel when they already have "angst" as a TW would be rude and labeling as "fluff -> angst" would reveal to readers the ending without having to read the whole thing.

So basically do you personally think it would be ok to request a writer to relabel a TW to read as "fluff -> angst"?

Hi anon! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

oooh and mhmm 🤔 if u ask me, especially in cases like yours, it would definitely be helpful to have the tags that may hint on such things. such a tags does exist after all in ao3 and i dont see why it shouldnt be integrated here when needed. it also helps if the angst degree is placed like would it be mild angst, just hints of it, or would it be heavy.

but the thing is, it usually depends on who is writing if they consider such content to be merely mild or heavy. cause it would def vary from person to person. one might see it would just be light angst, but for others it is def a big deal of some sorts. it'll def be a challenge, that i can say.

and now on the topic of asking the writer to place the tag. perhaps if you ask them nicely, im sure they will cater to your request. however, as u pointed out, the element of surprise might be compromised or the tag "angst" is already there, so that is indeed a hurdle in this endeavor. i guess it'll def be up to the writer to label it, because i've seen most write such stuff and say in the tags that there won't be a happy ending at all or it is an open end but leaning more onto a sad aspect of it.

in short i'm sure there won't be a harm in requesting, just ask nicely. plus i'm sure the author isn't aware or hasn't seen this side of the spectrum. it's no one's fault tho. even i myself have to ask a couple of people if i should put certain stuff in the tags because i'm unsure. i guess it'll be nice to help out one another, like consumer to the producer. like a feedback bc im sure there are readers like you out there who have experienced this too. but if the writer doesn't feel comfortable in doing so, then we should respect that.

i do hope i gave u a good answer 😭

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol. 20

I want to try to break the book into three main chunks. The last time I did that, it was easier to write about. So uh, the first chunk has to do with Tohru and her feelings about Kyo, and Kagura's reaction, the second chunk is Akito and Ren's past being revealed (it's totally a mess but it's to be expected), and the third chunk is about things unraveling.

Ok cool let's do it. (The picture was at the end of one of the chapters, I just liked it a lot idk) (also tumblr needs to increase the character limit for the alt text, it's only 200 characters, which goes by quick. twitter has like,, 420, which is more manageable)

Tohru came to Kazuma's house to visit Izusu, and Kagura came to confront Tohru about something. What possibly could it be (as if I didn't say so in the beginning)? Kagura was talking about it a bit with Kazuma, and he said he just hopes that Tohru's feelings don't come from a place of pity (which is a mild "oof" point for Kagura, because that's mostly why she loved Kyo), because Kyo has had to deal with people either flat out hating him, or being nice to him out of a sense of pity. Even Kazuma admitted (earlier in the series. I don't remember when but I remember reading it) that part of the reason he took in Kyo as a child was because he was making it up for how he treated his grandfather, the previous Cat. Over time, those feelings fell away, in favor of genuinely caring for Kyo's wellbeing, but Kazuma doesn't seem to be the one who would forget about stuff like that. (Also it turns out that the previous Cat's partner basically stayed with him out of a sense of pity, as well)

It turns out that Izusu and Tohru were talking about the same thing, and Tohru worried if her feelings for Kyo were selfish, because she wanted nothing to take Kyo away from her, not the curse, not the Sohma family, nothing. Kagura then bust into the room, smacked Tohru across the fucking room it seems, and said, "Then fucking tell him that!!" (direct quote, 100%) Izusu yelled at Kagura for hitting Tohru, asking what right she had for doing that, but given Kagura's nature, it doesn't seem completely out of nowhere. She just got pretty emotional in that moment.

For Tohru, it seemed to knock the right screw loose for her, and she thought back to when she was talking about her father to Kyo, and if he said really anything against what she was talking about, she apparently would've just zipped her lips and pretended she hadn't said anything, and moved on, but he didn't. Which is pretty nice of him to do, honestly. Anyway, when she came to again (because she got knocked out from Kagura's emotion-packed slap), Kyo was sitting there, because Kazuma had called him, ("Hey dude so there was a smackdown here and Tohru got knocked out lmao" is how I'm imagining the call. kjdhkfgjh can you imagine Kazuma saying "lmao" I can't) but Kyo didn't ask about the fight (which was a Wise Lesson from Shishou™), another nice thing for him to do, though in my opinion it would be a pretty easy thing to explain.

Ok, so now onto the second chunk, which kinda has some of the stuff in the third chunk later on but whatever. Story flow, it's pristine today.

It starts with some of the,, maids? or something that are in the Sohma house (they never get names so far as I can tell, and I don't really know what to call them, but at one point someone referred to one of them as a maid, I think? Idk.) talking about Ren, and wondering why Akito still let Ren wander around freely like she does. Another said that Akito can only do so much, because apparently there is a crowd of people in the house that are "Ren-followers", and if she had Ren be completely contained within an area, there's a chance that those followers might start some shit, which would be a headache to deal with. One of the maids said that Akito has been sick (or holed up in her room) for too long, and the rest of the Juunishi are doing nothing to help, which does not help with Ren, who spouts out stuff about how the Juunishi doesn't really care about Akito at all. The maids seem to have a particular thing against Ren, because they view her as an unsuitable woman who somehow managed to become partners with Akira, the previous God, I think, but also the father of Akito.

Speaking of Akito, she has a box. That same box that Ren tried to use Izusu to get back. Something about that box has to do with Akira, and it seems important to both Akito and Ren, though honestly at this point Akito is probably just holding onto it out of spite for Ren, I wouldn't be surprised (I, too, am a petty bitch. I understand the mindset). She asked Kureno if he has any idea what is in it, and when he says he doesn't, she simply says, "Father."

Now we jump over to Ren and Shigure, who are also talking about about that elusive box. Apparently Shigure was tasked to get the box, but obviously he didn't succeed. He said (thought? He didn't say it aloud, it was one of those thoughts thing--- anyway) that he didn't really care, he didn't even want to touch that box, much less even look at it, it was no loss to him. Out loud, he says that it would be inappropriate for him to hold it, and Ren agrees, saying that only she can have it, just like how only she could have Akira, when he was alive. Are you already sensing where this is heading? Well, I'll say it anyway.

Flash back to Kureno, he's thinking about Akira, from when he was younger and Akira was still alive. He remembers Akira as very beautiful, in a fleeting way. Akira was sickly, all the time, and sad. Everyone knew that he wouldn't live for very long. But since he was the head of the house, of the family, it was imperative that he find a partner and produce an heir. That person was Ren, who was one of his care-takers. The rest of the staff (or something??) didn't like that she was going to be with Akira, it seemed unsuitable, but she was the only candidate. She was the only person who recognized how lonely he was, is what Akira said as a defense when people objected. And so, they were married. The older members of the family despised it, the younger thought it was the beginning of a new change, a new era. Ren said (because this section is flipping between Kureno and Ren) that it was only them two (haha grammar): Akira and Ren, they were all who mattered. She was everything to Akira. So when she had Akito, well, that muddled things. Because now there was another person that Akira loved: his own fuckin child. That's right. Ren got jealous of her own child because Akira loved his very own daughter. That's,, that's something. Shortly after that, Ren decided that Akito would be raised as a boy. Or maybe it was while she was still pregnant. At any rate, she said it was because it would be unsuitable for the head of the family to be a woman, but we all know the real reason: it's so that Akira wouldn't be loving another girl, even though that other girl was his daughter. Jfc Ren is a handful. From Kureno's memory, it seems like even as a kid, Shigure recognized that.

Back to Shigure and Ren, Shigure says that he feels sorry for Ren, probably thanks to all that upset she has. She says the same, that the Juunishi have had to deal with the abuse that Akito has dealt to them simply because of that "bond", and that there's no way that anyone could honestly love Akito. Shigure also comments that sometimes he thinks that if Akito had been raised as a woman, she'd look exactly like Ren, which instantly pisses Ren off. She just starts screaming about "Who do you have to thank for Akito being born! I'm the reason that (insert angry comment about how she's the only reason why x happened)". I'm kinda glad she isn't in the series much, this is exhausting. I know she's in the book later, and maybe a bit more in the next few, but jeez. It's a lot.

Anyway, let's end the chapter with Momiji having his curse be broken. The end is near (for the Juunishi, not this post lmao).

The second that the curse breaks, Akito knows it (that's probably the bond. I doubt it's some kinda "we'll be friends forever uwu" kinda thing, it's just kinda an awareness of each other, or maybe just God's awareness of everyone) and races towards Momiji, begging him to not leave. Now that the curse is broken, Momiji is confused as to how those thoughts he had prior for Akito were even there, now that he sees Akito clinging onto him, whimpering and panicked. Momiji waves her away, saying that he'll keep it a secret, and that Akito should go rest, wasn't she feeling sick earlier?

We pan over to the school, where Haru is asking Yuki if he's noticed anything off about Momiji. Haru can't place it, but something seems off, maybe not. Kyo ends up running into Momiji walking down a hallway, and asks him about it (he overheard the others talking about it), and Momiji just out and says it: his curse broke. He said he imagines that Tohru would be happier about it if it were Kyo's curse that broke, and that he (Momiji) lost. (I guess he lost in some unspoken one-sided competition of "getting" Tohru, because y'know she's not her own person who is capable of deciding these things for herself or anything)

Later, Momiji goes back to the main Sohma estate, to apologize to Akito for how he acted yesterday, but also to say that he won't be staying there any longer. Akito takes it like a champ, slapping Momiji across the face and insulting him, saying that he's a traitor, he has nowhere else to go, his family either doesn't remember him or hates him, he'll never be happy! and Momiji's just like, "Yeah lol I already feel lonely", that he can't be with the person he loves, and he no longer has that One Thing that previously connected him to most of the other people he's close with, and that there's no going back. He does say though, that it's not Akito's decision or place to say whether Momiji will ever be happy or not, because he might not be happy now, that does not mean that he won't ever be happy in the future. He then asks Akito how long she will stay at the house, thinking that eventually, everyone will come back to her, that no one will be happy without her. What if it's actually her that is most afraid-- Akito isn't down for an analysis, she just tells Momiji to leave.

Let's now go down memory lane, down a nice and happy time, especially for Akito and Ren: Akira's death and it's after effects. Happy times. (apparently i was wrong, the thing i said was the third chunk that wove in nicely with the second was just the second chunk, i think this is the actual third chunk)

Akito is thinking back (on a rainy morning, extra points for setting the mood) on her relationship with her parents. With Akira, it was nice, he always was kind and caring, telling Akito that she is what everyone has been waiting for, and that she thought she was the one Akira loved the most. With Ren, however, she was always cruel, from the start. She always glared at Akito, she was always mean. Akito hates her. We're brought back to the day Akira died, where Ren bursts into the room, asking why she wasn't notified sooner, why Akira had to die alone. One of the attendants said his condition worsened too quickly to call Ren close by, but also that Akira hadn't died alone; he died with Akito by his side. The attendant said that Akira's will had been passed onto Akito, she was now the head of the family. Ren was angered at that, there's no reason for Akito to still be around now! She only tolerated her child being around because Akira liked her, but now that Akira is gone, there is no one to love or care about Akito. Akito said that wasn't true, that all of the Juunishi will love her, because of their bond. (Which is basically what Akira said. He put most of that stuff into her head, and she doubled down on it whenever Ren said anything against it, which might as well be every single time they were around each other)

Back to the present, Kureno comes in the room to talk about something, but Akito interrupts him, saying that she was happy when Yuki was born, as the Rat. It was mostly just something she used to prove Ren wrong, and she used it as long as she could (much to the deterioration of Yuki's mental health). She thought back, over the years, to all the bad things that had happened, how she tried so hard to keep everyone close, and how all of them had, one by one, come to "betray" (cough cough, try to live their own lives, cough cough) her. After Shigure and Yuki left to their present residence, Ren said that they had given up on Akito. When Akito again mentioned their bond (which, really, now that I think about it, has basically been the singular thing straining to keep everything under control. Akito's sole sense of identity was being God, she's never had anything else.), Ren waved it away, then challenged that if any of the Juunishi can go out into the world, experience it in all it's freaky magical ways, and not be taken in by it, and instead return to Akito, then she will have been proved wrong, Akito's claims this whole time will have been correct. If they failed to, however, Ren said that Akito would have to give up the Sohma name. But Akito believed it, she truly believed she was right, that nothing big enough would come between her and the rest of the Juunishi (Tohru has entered the chat). She had to believe it, she just had to. But now, it's evident, between how Haru reacted upon learning about Izusu, Momiji's demeanor after the curse broke, the general way that the rest of the Juunishi float away from Akito, that it isn't true, and with that, she has nothing to hope for.

Upon this realization, Ren bursts into the room, knee-length hair floating around her, eyes crazed, knife in hand, demanding for Akira. Demanding for that box, and whatever contents were inside. In response, Akito fuggin yeeted it at Ren, she didn't give a shit. It flashed back to right before Akira died, and he soothed Akito by saying that, despite dying, he will always be with her. He wanted for Ren to be happy. He wasn't upset that he was dying so soon, he knew that he was just a man who was going to die, but he was happy that he was able to have a child, and to have had that child with Ren, and since that child was special, it was proof that their relationship was a special one. Back to the present, Ren scrambles to the box, tears it open hungrily to find,,, nothing. The box was empty. It'd always been empty, said to have held Akira's soul, but it was mostly just something to help Akito with Akira's passing. Suddenly, Akito grabbed the knife that fell from Ren's hand, poised to stab Ren but then--

Hiro's curse broke. Ren can thank that bond she always scoffed at for saving her life. But hey, now Hiro can hold his baby sister, which is nice. Yay for family moments.

Boo for Akito, because it's just really grinding in that the curse is quickly falling apart, and there's absolutely nothing that she can do about it. Ren taunts Akito, asking if she was trying to kill her. The attendants blow up, one yelling at Ren for making such a scene, taking a knife with her, and another scolds the first for giving Akito that box in the first place, it's stupid! The first attendant said that Akito knew from the start that it was empty, common sense would say that much! (idk man it could've held one last letter from Akira to Akito, a letter wouldn't affect the weight of the box significantly, it's not common sense)

Akito leaves the room, and Kureno follows. Akito says that it was both common sense but also not, that there wasn't anything in the box. She wanted to believe there was a chance that something was in that box, some kind of invisible energy that would help her. But even after opening it, seeing that it was empty, she still held onto it, knowing there wasn't anything. And that was her common sense, that's what she thought. She'd never been given any other way of thinking, of living, so why and how should anyone expect differently? Kureno says that she can start learning now, that that was what he wanted to talk about earlier, that she can't stay here, she'll never be able to move on, to which Akito cuts him off with "Fuggin now, bitch?? You're saying that now?? That doesn't help me! It would have helped in the beginning! But not fucking now!" (which btw is true. i doubt akito was even allowed to go to a public school, that she was schooled within the estate. i really believe that she's never really been outside of the the properties that the Sohma family owns) Then she stabs Kureno, with that knife she's been holding all this time. She reasons with it saying that Kureno's "halfway kindness" has been killing her this whole time, that it can't be fixed by Kureno saying that maybe Akito should go touch some grass. As Akito is running from the scene (more like haggardly stumbling), she continues thinking that it's Kureno's fault, it's not on her, until she remembers what Yuki was saying at the New Year's gathering about blame. It doesn't really fix anything, it just momentarily makes you think that you're not in the wrong. *record scratch* What if it's Akito's fault, then? All of this? What if it's her fault? What if it's the fault of the person who made everyone change? What if it's Tohru's fault?? (dun dun dunnnn)

Meanwhile, back at the other Sohma house (Shigure's house?) Tohru has some confessing to do. Before that though, Kyo has some confessing to do, though not about the same thing. He tells Tohru that he knew her mom before she died, and that he was the reason she died. He tells her that they met when he was really young, and how they had kinda become friends (in that way that people become friends by talking often, but Kyo never told Kyoko his name, because he had some weird thing about having a name so similar). That all fell apart the day that Tohru went missing. He promised that he would find her and rescue her, but after finding that Yuki had done it (the evidence was The Hat), he lashed out, and never talked to Kyoko again. Years later, when he was at the crosswalk, who was beside him but Kyoko, who he recognized instantly. He wasn't sure what to do, whether to say something to her or hold back. He was totally able to grab her arm, get her out of harm's way, but he didn't, he was too scared. (plus yaknow the whole cat thing) He beats himself up about, still to this day. He does the same with his own mom's death. It was his fault that his mom killed herself, she couldn't stand having such a monster as a child. It was too much for her, and she couldn't take any longer. (It wasn't. I won't say that his mom wasn't put under strain for having Kyo, for knowing that he wasn't human, that he turned into a weird monster if his bracelet was taken off, but from what we've seen of his dad, it was probably at least 85-90% his dad's fault. He was too caught up in the politics of the Sohma family, ashamed of the fact that Kyo was the Cat, the worst out of them, that he couldn't even salvage having one of the good freaks to have as a child of his, and he took it all out on his wife and later his son.)

And the book ends on that cheery note. (Why do I say stuff like that why I am I like this)