#idk I just had a sick ass dream and I had to chuck it out into the universe ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lavenderpop]

I’ve dragged myself out of the pits of a hard ass nap to bring you one thing: soul eater ninja turtles au

That is all goodnight

[lillian-nator]

Ranch AU

Or, as we all call it, The Cowboy AU 

Essentially, this was something that I created, and it’s gonna be purely fluffy, with a small bit of angst here and there. Any of the angst will be hurt/comfort. It’s meant to make us all feel better after those fucking harsh lore streams. I started it, based off of some shit in the Dad!Schlatt AU, and after that I honestly didn’t write most of it. It had really been a project in the discord, because we were all sad and shit, so if you have some fluff to offer, please do! I am happy to make almost anything canon - and we could always use more ideas. :)

I hope you enjoy some mindless farm boi fluff!

BASIC INFO: 

It's SBI's Ranch (Phil is Dadza, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are his sons)

Phil, sells to the local stores, and manages the crops. He doesn't do too much labor anymore. He hired his boys for that.

Dream, SapNap, Purpled, Tubbo, Callahan, and Punz are all hired farm hands

George, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy work at the shop where they sell their products; Niki makes all of the dairy products, Fundy and Ranboo stock, label prices, and keeps track of sales, and George works customer service with his Gogy magic.

Wilbur works with the sheep, the goats, and he trains the dogs (Collies - they herd sheep), he also works with the crops a lot

Schlatt isn't hired but he might as well be. He can be found wherever Wilbur is, and is probably drinking a beer he stole from Phil. He doesn't get paid, but he eats all of their food.

Tommy works with the cows, the pigs, the chickens, the horses (sometimes), his goose, and the dogs / cats that they own

Tubbo works with Tommy. Essentially. But he also works on the crops, and the bee farm that they have set up.

Techno works with the horses, and is currently training to be a veterinarian.

Dream works on horses with Techno - they race the horses competitively - but otherwise, is where ever he is needed (usually crops)

Purpled works with Tommy and Tubbo. He mostly works with Tubbo on crops and his bee farm.

Punz and SapNap haul things. As your resident Chads, they are in-charge of moving heavy things and doing manual labor.

Callahan is their repair man. He fixes tractors, and machines on a daily basis.

SOME HEADCANNONS: 

HENRY, a saga:

that henry has a matching bandana to the one Tommy has so that everyone knows thats henry. Tommy doesn't like it when people touch henry so henry gets a bandana - Shark -

when Phil first started raising Tommy, he would've never guessed that he would turn out the way he did.

He was loud, and brash, and hit his brothers, and made fun of the neighbor's kids,  but then Tubbo became Tommy's best friend, and then Phil introduced Tommy to the cows.

The cows are Tommy's everything.

When a Bred Heifer is due, he sits with them everyday past their due date - he sat with Betty for 5 days when she wouldn't birth a calf. He was so fucking worried.

When one of his cows are sick, he sleeps in the barn until they get better. His last days with Harvey fucked him up.

Tubbo, Tommy, Purpled, and Ranboo spend long nights at the farm, and Tommy always leans against Henry as he stares up at the stars.

Henry who his best girl (all cows are girls and Tommy doesn't give a shit about gendered names). Henry who wears a matching bandana. Henry who is fluffy, and warm, and Tommy's everything. -

Sometimes when Tommy had a bad day, whether it’s stress, or school, or just whatever, Tommy sleeps in the Henry’s stall with her. Phil has so many pictures of Tommy curled up with Henry. From when she was first born to now. - Eye

Tommy hates winter because that’s the one time of year Phil won’t let him sleep in the barn. Even with the layers and heat lamps it’s too unsafe. Tommy always gets up extra early in the winter. Both because he has to check and break ice in the water troughs but also because he misses his girl - Eye -

Henry's mother, Betty, was the first Cow Tommy had helped during birth. He sat with her for 5 days when she hadn't gone into labor past her due date. It took 9 hours for Henry to be born, and Tommy was there through the entire thing -

Well, almost the entire thing. He was at school for the first hour of labor, and was so pissed at Phil when Phil knew and didn't immediately come get Tommy from School.

It always felt like Tommy and Henry had a special bond because Tommy literally raised Henry from birth. -

They didn't think Henry was gonna make it when she was first born, but Tommy was fucking determined, and bottle fed that cow every single day and night. When she was slowly weened off milk, Tommy got unironically sad that he didn't have to bottle feed her anymore.

He still visited her every morning, and milked her mother at dawn, right after he got eggs from his hens. -

Henry waits for Tommy at the end of their long ass drive way when he gets home from school. She knows that when the bus pulls up that her boy is back and so she’s always there waiting lazily for pets and a nice walk together back to the house. Even when it’s cold and someone is waiting for the kids to get home in an ATV or something Tommy always walks back to the house with Henry - Eye

Thinking about how long these fucking country roads are. And how Tommy and Tubbo have the same bus stop even though Tubbo and Tommy's houses are a couple of miles away. Tommy has to walk a mile to get to the beginning of his driveway, and seeing his favorite girl there is like a reward at the end of a journey. Tommy probably keeps a bag of feed in his backpack, which is just a mixture of grain, hay and corn, and gives Henry a handful to thank her for waiting for him.

Clementine, The Goose: 

Tommy has a goose, and names it Clementine. 

He found her in the woods one day, when she was very young, and he decided he was going to keep Clementine. 

Clementine is only ever nice to Schlatt and Tommy. No one knows why. 

Clementine follows Tommy around. Very endearing. 

Phil doesn’t question it at this point 

NEW MILO, the sequel:

OG Milo is a kitten that Wilbur found on the side of the road, in the rain, and he took the kitten in, trying to save him. Wilbur immediately got attached.

Techno pulled an all nighter, half spent  trying to save OG Milo and the other half comforting Wilbur. "You couldn't have helped, he was too starved and out in the rain for too long." Phil adds that if Techno can't save something, it can't be saved. - Ethan

Wilbur's next cat was named New Milo in honor - Ethan

Anyway, New Milo has three kittens. Blood God, Boots (given to Fundy), and Bumbles (given to Tubbo). They're called the Bees and they were born Christmas Eve - Ethan

BLOOD GOD, the pussy:

Blood God is Techno's cat. Its just a ferall little molly that loves techno too much. - M -

After Techno helped New Milo have her litter, he wasn't originally gonna keep any of the kittens, but he saw this tiny thing with the orange muzzle and just: stole her.

He is also nicknamed Blood God, for both his skill in hunting and healing

He originally named her Piglet because the orange spot looked like a pig snout [the main reason he chose her and not her stronger littermates] but called her Blood God teasingly when he first adopted her

Wilbur didn't realize he meant it as a nickname and told everyone her name was Blood God

Techno still calls her Piglet, but everyone else calls her Blood God because that's the name on her collar.

Most of their cats aren't collared, but Phil made her a custom collar because he was worried she'd get lost hunting with Techno and Dream - Ethan -

Blood God is such a batshit cat. She's a runt, really, oddly small compared to her siblings, and she's their best mouser

She's the cat that everyone leaves scraps for, but never tries to pet out of fear

Often she'll climb up people's legs and sit on their shoulders, and it's the only time you can pet her.

She is very, very affectionate with Techno and he loves her very much. He has her very well trained, and she comes with him and Dream when they go hunting sometimes alongside a terrier.

She's a little itty bitty calico molly and she has an orange patch right over her muzzle - Ethan

TOMMY'S HENS, the chicks:

He gets real defensive of his hens. They lay eggs for him. They deserve to be treated well. -

Tommy does in fact have an egg incubator; Sometimes it's just better. Tommy prefers letting his hens care for their own eggs, but he does still use the incubator - Ethan -

Some chickens enjoy being thrown so they can flap and shit. A few days after passing ownership of the hens to Tommy, Phil is going down to the crops and just sees Tommy chucking his hens and watching them rush back to be thrown again

he feels a hint of "what the hell" but he notes the gentleness tommy does it with and how the chickens seem to be enjoying it and he shrugs and keeps walking - Ethan -

Once Wilbur was helping Tommy with the chickens and he dropped an egg

Unfertilized, of course, but Tommy looked like you'd just punted a toddler

Three years later, Wilbur isn't allowed to touch the eggs anymore

Tommy's paranoid he'll hurt a live one

"Get out." "What - Tommy it was an accident, it was just one egg." "If you aren't gonna treat Phoebe's eggs with care; You can get the fuck out." "Tommy -" "Out." -

the quality chicken eggs depends usually on how the chicken feels. While under his care, the eggs the chickens produced were really good.

Under Tommy's care? Phil's eggs tasted like horseshit in comparison - Ethan -

They have their like, main barn and to the side of it is a little pond. The chicken coops are a little beside it, with the singular duck coop (he only has four ducks) closest. He calls the area the Business Bay

AGES: 

Tommy - 16 Tubbo - 16 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17

Techno - 19 Wilbur - 21 Schlatt - 19 Phil - idk like 45 or some dad shit

Fundy - 18 Niki - 19

SapNap - 18 Dream - 19 George - 20 Punz - 19 Callahan - 20

RANDOM HC’S: 

Tubbo, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy are siblings. -

Whenever they eat meat they talk about who they're eating. 

They tell stories about their day and such but they always start dinner, when its meat, saying "rip lmao" and telling stories about them

...they don’t do it when they eat beef

Everyone sitting down with their plates of ham Wilbur: so who was it? Phil: Fern Tommy, already eating: rest in peace fern Techno: he shat on my boots once -

Each of the boys get a few animals that aren't allowed to be butchered.

Wilbur has Friend, Enemy, and Skit the Bull. (Wilbur wanted to name a Bull "Shit", but Phil said no because Tommy was 11 and already swearing too much for his liking)

Techno has none of the livestock. He only cares about Blood God, and his horses.

Tommy has a pig [currently unnamed], his Hens (6 or 7 of them, that lay eggs), and his dairy cows -

Phil is ALWAYS chewing on straw. -

Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur all call Phil "Pops" or "Pop". They all used to call him "Papa" though. It's like a coming of age thing for the three of them, when they stop calling him "Papa" and start calling him "Pop".

Phil may or may not have cried when Tommy started calling him "Pop" at the age of 12.

ALTHOUGH, all 3 boys know that if you want anything, you call Phil "Papa". Phil can't resist it. -

Techno and Tommy with starry eyes: pops Phil: no Wilbur: Papa Phil, with slightly less confidence: n-no   - Ethan -

Tommy holding a baby calf in his hands that he walls to bring inside for the night because hes in love with her: papa please!! Phil, practically in tears: fine.   - M

[roserecaps]

Week Two: Dodging Drama

Let the game begin! 

We got ourselves a group date... 

Chris Harrison: “Guys, Becca is taking this shit really serious. She is not messing around!” Becca: “Welcome to the date, can you all change in front of me?” 

Bringing Jordan on this date is a recipe for disaster and great TV. 

Becca: “Are you a model?” Jordan: “Were you dumped on national TV?”

Jordan just said the word pantyhose, Becca needs to pull him aside and let him know this isn’t going to work out before he slowly slaughters her family. 

Rachel and Brian throws the guys a “curve ball” by making them go through an obstacle course in their tuxes. Nothing says I’m ready to marry you like dunking your balls in ice water. 

Lincoln is officially your season villain. 

Lincoln: “Kissing Becca is like flying to the moon on the wings of a pegasus while dancing with a unicorn on a pot of gold” - Watching it was like flying to Kansas City on a Spirit flight next to a vegan, crossfitter.” 

The guy is sitting on the couch talking to a picture in a Ikea frame. CONNOR CHUCKED THAT SHIT and apparently shattered Lincoln’s heart. We are 2.5 hours into this season and we got high school drama. 

Lincoln: “Connor broke my picture” Becca: “Oh, ok”  Lincoln: “I’m scared, yell at the scary man.”

Jean Blanc: “You have a great smile, but also love your ass lips.” - annnd for that you get a rose. 

Link is sobbing over this Walgreens photo, this storyline is not gonna die. Slip the memory into your spank bank and move on. 

One-On-One: Blake

BAHHHH GAWD it’s Lil Jon!!!! 

I can’t even pretend to make fun of this date, this is fucking sick, but we get it. Arie is a douche, how many more times do we have to bring it up. 

Bec is going home run derby on this shit, she has a hell of a swing. Piss test? 

Blake: “I had a very similar situation to you. I fell hard a fast for a girl, told her I loved her in two months. One day she was taking a dumb and saw a text where her friend asked if she had dumped my ass yet.” “You get it, right” Becca: “Yeah, same situation essentially.” 

Blake, you don’t strike me as a dude that told a girl you loved too fast... *two minutes later* “I think this is the start of our love story”

Group Date #2

These middle schoolers are absolutely big timing the shit out of these bros. 

Little Girl: “You are slow, you are shit, you are trash”  Little Boy: “Crank this thing to 100, catch my balls you bitch!”

God damn, these kids are ruthless. 

Leo, those locks, feathered and lethal. Takes one off the ass to lose for the pink flamingos. Becca better make sure everyone gets a trophy though, we don’t need anyone’s parents calling ABC. Sensitive millennials. 

Garrett: “I feel like you are the girl version of me.” - If Becca isn’t wet after that, IDK what it will take. 

Colton needs to let Bec know that he was poking one of her friends “Let’s hoping we can get past this.” - Wait... it was a weekend?! Big relationship guy. “Timing wasn’t right, it was a Senor Frogs in cancun, I just didn’t see it going anywhere.” 

Becca: “I’m scared this isn’t working out” - Ok, it’s day two. Season is looking hopeful. 

Cocktail Party

Touchdown dances, creepy poems, and more picture smashing. Becca feels like she can turn this season around. 

America: 

Jordan: “I want to show Becca that there is more to me than just clothes. *strips naked* I need her to know she can handle being next to this sexual icon!” - Putting the cock in the cocktail party. “I am not always 007, my hair is always amazing and I’m crazy.” 

This dude is has so many layers. If you slammed Jordan into Jason you 10000% have Joey from 10 Things I Hate About You. 

David: “Are you more than a model?” Jordan: “Are you more than a human?” - True battle of wits. 

Jordan: “If I took an IQ test you would a score a little higher than a model.” “It’s called inguinity!”

Becca seems to have some intense self esteem issues. She has dropped the axe on anyone who has any connection to her life. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING!!!??

Does it make anyone else laugh that when she calls dudes up that haven’t seen more than 2 seconds of tv time to come get their rose that they think they are making progress? Looking at you Mike and John (I think). 

Jordan: “I can’t believe David got a rose. I’m an alpha” - You are wearing a pink velvet blanket. I did learn that there are only 100 male models in America though... Tough industry to break into. Dreams are crushed, looks like I have to pursue my second passion of rare cancer research. 

Alex, are you crying? Wasn’t even positive you were on the season. 

[urdearestmom]

100 Questions

Tagged by @bob-newby-superhero thanks!!

1. What is your nickname? Sari, Sarita, Sarinha

2. How old are you? 18

3. What is your birth month? December

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. What is your favourite colour? Green!

6. What’s your lucky number? 17 because it’s my birthday lmao

7. Do you have any pets? No but I really want a cat. Everyone in my family has dogs

8. Where are you from? I’m Luso-Canadian (my family is from Portugal but we live in Canada)

9. How tall are you? My driver’s license says 160 cm but the doctor told me 163. Either way, around 5’3”

10. What shoe size are you? Uhh depends on the shoe but usually 6.5-7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Many, but I always wear the same shit lol

12. Are you random? Sometimes, I guess

13. Last person you texted? I texted myself pictures from my mom’s phone. Last message in general was to @eljane-hoppers

14. Are you psychic in any way? Haha sometimes I think I am, but my mom is more >:^)

15. Last TV show watched? Saw an episode of Four Weddings on TLC this morning

16. Favourite movie? The Book Thief or The Greatest Showman

17. Favourite show from your childhood? iCarly!! Used to watch it religiously after school every day it was on

18. Do you want children? Yes, but definitely not right now lmao

19. Do you want a church wedding? Kind of yeah. It’ll depend on who I end up marrying but it’d probably be some kind of disgrace if I didn’t get married in a church

20. What is your religion? I am Catholic

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yup tons of times, whether for myself or other people

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, I am a Child of God™

23. How is life? Could be better, probably, but it’s pretty chill right now

24. Baths or showers? Showers, but I also really like baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing? Bold of you to assume I’m wearing socks at all

26. Have you ever been famous? I mean if you google my name the results are me. I was on CBC because I was in the national spelling bee in 2012

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I feel like it’d be fun and cool for a while but then I’d get tired of it. I don’t like having people all up in my business and that seems like what life is like for big celebrities :/ But having a lot of influence would be awesome

28. What type of music do you like? Literally anything except country music (I’m not all that into rap/trap music either, but I can appreciate it from time to time) here’s a playlist of my favourite stuff it’s like seven hours long but if you go through it you’ll see it’s really all kinds :)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Maybe and I don’t remember? My childhood was a questionable era

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2, both under my head

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I usually fall asleep on my side but I almost always wake up on my back so I don’t actually know how I’m sleeping

32. How big is your house? 2 stories and a basement

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cup of milk with something else, usually a bowl of cereal or bread/croissant with Nutella

34. Have you ever left the country? YeET I’ve been to Portugal a bunch of times, Spain once, and to France on a 5-hour layover but we didn’t leave the airport and I don’t remember it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

35. Have you ever tried archery? Does it count if it was on Wii Sports? And yeah once and I was terrible at it

36. Do you like anyone? I think so and it sucks because he’s my friend :(

37. Favourite swear word? Probably fuck, I say it a lot. But I also say shit a lot so I mean idrk

38. When do you fall asleep? Oof regularly past midnight, but the time varies

39. Do you have any scars? A giant burn mark on my leg and a very faint lil thing on my right hand from this time I accidentally did an entire flip in my driveway

40. Sexual orientation? Was previously sure I was straight but I’m kind of starting to question that?

41. Are you a good liar? I like to think that I’m a very convincing actress

42. What languages would you like to learn? Mm I already speak Portuguese (if you ever wanna learn something hmu), and I learned some French because that’s mandatory in Canada but I dropped it and I want to get back into it. So, French! I also learned some German this year and I might continue with it. Also maybe Spanish, I can already understand some

43. Top 10 songs? Umm

Love Is A Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Rock You Like A Hurricane - Scorpions

Theme From New York, New York - Frank Sinatra

True Faith - New Order

Age Of Consent - New Order

A Million Dreams - The Greatest Showman OST

Second Waltz - Dmitri Shostakovich

Power Of Love - Celine Dion

Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry

Halo - Beyonce

44. Do you like your country? Canada? Yeah, I love it except for the stupid ass weather. I get sick every fucking time the season changes

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yeeee!! They’re all awesome people

46. What is your personality type? INFP- there’s more info here if you want to know what that means

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw ftw bitches

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yesssss

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Buzzfeed told me that, based on my music taste, I am “a student of classic rock like School of Rock’s Dewey Finn” (but actually HA I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I LOVED JACK BLACK IN THAT MOVIE)

50. Left or right handed? Righttttt

51. Are you scared of spiders? They don’t scare me as much as induce some kind of panic, but it really depends what kind of spider. Really little ones are actually kind of cute, but big spiders send me into cardiac arrest

52. Favourite food? Akjsnfskd PASTA

53. Favourite foreign food? Idk man I’m already picky af with my food. If I live in Canada does that make the Portuguese food I eat on a daily basis foreign because if so I loooooove me some fuckin barbecued chicken

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Fairly clean. If I wasn’t my mother would hurt me lol

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Idk probably figure out how to pee standing up, maybe make use of the ability to lie on my stomach without hurting my chest :)

56. What colour underwear? I think this is turquoise

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends what I’m getting ready for. On a regular day, ten minutes tops. If I’m going out to an event it can be upwards of an hour; sometimes less, sometimes more

58. Do you have much of an ego? Idk if it’s ego so much as me being confident in myself. Anyone who has a problem with me and decides to be rude about it can suck my non-existent dick

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I try to suck them but it never lasts for long, I almost always bite them unless I’m really concentrating on not biting

60. Do you talk to yourself? Lmfao only ALL THE TIME

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yeee

62. Are you a good singer? I don’t think I’ll blow out your eardrums but I know I’m not the best either. I’ll just say I’m not terrible

63. Biggest Fears? Heights and deep water

64. Are you a gossip? I live for drama does that make me a gossip

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Yeah if I’m talking to someone I’m very comfortable with (my cousin for example) or if I’m trying to be petty

66. Do you have long or short hair? Long! I’m growing it out so I can be really dramatic and chop it all off later (also thinking of donating it)

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I can name almost all of them but I always forget a few. I think it’s pretty good considering I was never taught American geography

68. Favourite school subject? Instrumental music and history were my favourites

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Idk I guess extroverted introvert? Is that a thing???? I’m really awkward and panicky in social situations with people I don’t know but if I have friends around I’m just here to have the time of my life

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No

71. What makes you nervous? Having to talk to people I don’t know (it literally makes me panic it’s horrible)

72. Are you scared of the dark? Sometimes, yeah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Lmao ok this depends on who the person is and if I’m in that kind of mood (but when I was a kid I used to correct my teachers)

74. Are you ticklish? Yes very

75. Have you ever started a rumour? No

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes, I’ve been to Portugal a bunch of times, Spain once, and France on a layover

77. Have you ever drank underage? Chugged a cup of beer by accident when I was 6 oops

78. Have you ever done drugs? No but even if I had I don’t think I would say it here unless it was something minor like weed

79. What do you fantasize about? Travelling the world!!!!! And like, being a successful adult because right now I have no idea what the actual fuck I’m doing with my life

80. How many piercings do you have? Two, one in each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs? You gotta in Portuguese! I’m also fairly sure my French and German pronunciations are pretty much on point most of the time so I can do those types of R sounds as well

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast on my phone and not slow on my laptop either (when you’re a writer you end up learning to type faster than you thought you would lol)

83. How fast can you run? Oof I’m not slow when I first start off but that only goes for like max 10 seconds

84. What colour is your hair? Dark brown

85. What colour are your eyes? Also dark brown

86. What are you allergic to? Bigots

87. Do you keep a journal? I have a diary I’ve had since I was like 10 but I don’t write in it very often. I also have a notebook where I write down fic ideas and outline plots

88. Are you depressed about anything? I actually think I might have seasonal depression or something but I’m not sure

89. Do you like your age? Yeah I guess being 18 is cool

90. What makes you angry? People who refuse to listen to reason

91. Do you like your own name? Yes it means princess!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? No but I ate lead once

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? No preference as long as it is alive and healthy

94. What talents do you have? Uhh I can play two instruments and will be learning a third does that count? I just remembered I can also balance a spoon on my nose

95. Sun or moon? Moon

96. How did you get your name? My mom had a friend named Sara when she was a kid and she always liked the name so here I am having been named Sara

97. Are you religious? Kind of? I don’t go to church very often but I think I believe in God (I believe that there’s something, at least). I’ve also received all the Sacraments that I can (as of right now that’s baptism, first communion, and confirmation)

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Nope

99. Colour of your bedspread? Right now it’s just plain white

100. Colour of your room? Bright green!

Yeet I’m finished! Took forever ‘cause I kept getting interrupted but oh well

tagging: @eljane-hoppers @hannahberrie @mikeywheelerr @queer-deckovskij

[whyshanti]

twenty nineteen. periodt.

i genuinely felt the need to write this because i was bored i have not written anything in a really long time. but mostly because there’s only a few who might read this and not care afterwards. it sucks to not be able to do something that i used to enjoy for quite a while. but here i am!

a lot of thoughts to unburden and a lot of unspoken feelings to unpack. let’s get to it, bih.

1. this year felt like it was dragging on. i wanted it to end asap.

so this year, i actually had A LOT of time. where did it go? 

to: movies, series, anime, music, watching youtube videos, breakdowns, feeling stuck & paralyzed,  academics, reading articles about pop culture & mainstream shit, going out with friends, chatting random ppl at night bc i thought i could trust them (and some of them, i can), and etc.

but on a more serious note, i really was more into the world of media, of both mainstream and indie worlds. i still can’t believe i got through this semester when i have been doing these things unrelated to uni. some ppl are also baffled by this activity log that i have. 

point is: i felt like a walking zombie. probably looked like one as well. there is this routine that i have to do and i got really sick of myself. i didn’t have the motivation to strive more. i was always either sleeping (at least for the first half of the year) or watching. it all feels lifeless. the latter part of the year, my body clock was wrecked. i did not like the weather during daytime. at all. i slept during the day when i did not have classes then i was awake at night. but i try to get as much sleep as i can because my health is declining. i think.

also this year felt like it had 3 sequels. unnecessary, boring, full-of-jump-scares type of sequels. fuck.

2. feeling anxious and chill at the same time.

the only thing that made me feel chill at the latter part of the year is the fact that this shit... like all these shitty things we’ve been doing... will pass anyway. 

i don’t know if it’s because of the new system that was implemented but it definitely feels like the stress levels were high only during exam weeks. for real. i am grateful to have THAT kind of “stress privilege (??)” but i also wish i was stressing over something that gives me LIFE. i know i’m studying for something that will actually help me provide something for myself and for my family but my soul (oh crap here’s where things get cheesy) screams i should do something else. 

my friend always tells me to chill but i couldn’t because there’s always that nagging thought that i have to do something productive everyday. i think it stems from past disappointments, failed expectations from ppl close to me, and just basically feeling like a failure. i’m a frantic mess who somehow has the time to do unnecessary things. wish the energy was put into finishing acads on time or earlier, but here we are. think they meant that i should be chill with mysef. to be kind to myself. to not panic and breathe.

another thing is that there’s a load of information shoved in my head that really paralyzes me to act on something.

3. leaving behind the things i’ve outgrown.

it’s so funny how i’ve met few new people this year who i already treasure only to have quite a number of people to walk out of my life.

it’s not really surprising to me. i think we all wanted it to happen anyway. i’m just happy that things kind of subtly fell apart for things to make more sense. the feeling is kind of like how a misplaced puzzle piece is put into its rightful place. finally, i don’t have to force myself and i think the feelings are mutual. anyway, this year was a revelation in itself despite how dragging the pacing felt. love how the gunk went out and i see now what i’ve been blind to. chuck the deuce! definitely a thank u, next moment.

4. meeting new people, unexpected unions.

i definitely did not expect to form connections and be reunited with some of my old friends this year. also witnessed deepened friendships. 

there’s always this thing where i put my energy on a high level when i’m meeting new people just to seem decent and happy then slowly revealing how tired, sad, and boring i can be. then there’s that fear of losing people’s interest in me or people not becoming excited to talk to me about... anything really. never thought i’d have this fear of losing certain people in my life. i want to detach myself from that and from people themselves too (in a healthy way ofc). 

i’ve never ever felt like i could lose people in an instant. there’s that thing where i worry if i’m too much or i’m lacking for people. so i appreciate people who let me know if i’m crossing the line or if i’m doing something that completely annoys them because i really want to be part of people’s lives, meaningfully and genuinely. a good one. i don’t want to half-ass my relationships with other people and i seek loving relationships that thrive and inspire where it doesn’t only get good at the start but is continually progressing even when we don’t see each other often. it’s fascinating how as we get older, we see how relationships are not as simple as we think they are but really are simple at the same time. we have different goals, we are at different stages in our lives, we are facing shit that nobody else seems to understand and things that don’t seem to end, and we can only hope that our mere presence and emotionally available hearts will listen to whatever the other person has to unburden. 

to somehow let them know that they don’t need permission to rest and to do things that they are afraid of pursuing. 

4a. discovering new artists.

AURORA: the most underrated artist for sure. watched every interview/video/set because she is that bitch. her SONGS, man. i swear. she is that ethereal fairy from the forest. her fucking voice just draws me in. she deserved a better role in frozen 2 tho. she needs to be a lead in a musical animated movie. idc idc i said what i said.

beabadoobee: fucking rockstar, reviving the 90s grunge music and looks.

Billie Eilish: a badass. hate how she still stans bieber tho. 

5. daydreaming of a new life.

you don’t know how many times i’ve been dreaming to have a big house. 

it’s time. we really need a new house. i’m not, as what the kids say, vibing with this old house anymore. this is what i wish to leave behind as soon as possible. how do i even get the MONEY to afford it? i’m just hoping for a miracle to happen, you know. i really wish my family gets to be in a better home soon.

i think if u know me, u might have caught me spacing out a few times. 

idk why this always happens. it’s so rude to the person speaking to me but my mind literally drifts off to another planet. it’s not that they’re boring. i just can’t help it. i feel like shit thinking about how many times it has happened to me. 

sometimes, i dream of being this whole new different person. 

someone who is better than who i am. someone who is good at something and is passionate about the things she does. there are a lot of things i am interested in doing but i don’t have the courage to actually do it. idk why i always turn into a statue when i think of things that i wanna do.

6. God.

it’s been a long time. i have lost contact with You but You are always there to patch things up for me. every effin’ time. i cry everytime.

it must be because i was raised in a christian setting. that’s why i always think it’s You who’s working behind the scenes. but still i am grateful.

saved me from certain people.

saved me this semester.

saved me from pulling worthless all-nighters.

provided me financially esp when i thought i had nothing.

prevented a severe acid reflux situation.

gave me new friends.

did literally so many things that saved me from bad situations and people in general like WHO DOES THAT??

7. a life without a plan.

this is literally what i wanted to happen. not carelessly but like where i don’t have to worry about what to do next. just let things be and go with the flow. the first half of this year, i really did not think things through as i normally would and i let plans fall just to enjoy what was in front of me. be at ease and be present during that time. and i did. it was a peaceful, cheery time tbh.

8. every day i wanted to start over just to get over a lot of things.

9. i missed a lot of ppl.

10. i wanted to be held. not by a certain someone. not romantically. but by anyone close to me. *plays i’m with you by avril lavigne*

sometimes we all just need a long hug. that’s all. and it’d be nice to hear more stories from people. :)

11. not everybody will reciprocate the same energy that i send out to them and it’s okay.

this bummed me out. felt like an effin’ loser but i’ve learned that people have businesses to do. life doesn’t always happen the way we want it to.

12. this the final year of college. just finish it already, dumbass. 

13. why can’t i just be kathryn bernardo or AURORA for like a month or a year? i promise i will not ruin their careers lmao.

14. i want to make major changes in my stupid life but money is an issue.

15. the stars are below the sky now.

the state of the environment is the same as of our minds. polluted and overloaded with gibberish to the point that we get scared of doing one thing at a time and where we also don’t throw away the unnecessary baggage/s. 

we’re so intent on doing things all at the same time. finishing everything in one sitting. being productive became an addiction and it scared me how i was becoming affected by this. there’s this constant thought that we collectively share which is to do something by every day and it only adds up to people’s anxiety and depression. social media definitely made us aware of mental illnesses/disorders but then it became a trend. people self-diagnose themselves and end up with the wrong treatment. some people use it as a tool to get followers and... ugh it’s all a mess. i hope people get the right treatment/s AND/or professional help because if they don’t, they’ll lose themselves. i mean... just look at the sky. there’s literally no sign of a star now if u live in the city. we’ve lost sight of what should guide us. we are unconsciously following a false light thru our devices. 

i’m not good at analogies or at explaining things as u can tell. but moving on...

this hyper self-awareness that i have gained from social media has its advantages but is also distracting me from living my best life. i didn’t realize that i was making my own christmas lights inside my seemingly dark mind when really... it’s just clouded by all this information that’s coming in fast and has affected who i am and certain areas of my life. i’ve almost forgotten this and i’ve come to believe again that there’s always an ever-present light and it will take time to get used to its brightness once my mind gets clearer by the day. hopefully, it will.

anyway, CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL AND WE NEED TO SAVE EARTH. 

16. men are trash. 

17. the people who i should avoid always looks odd or unpleasant and has bad energy. i know shit when i sense one. 

18. i’m not happy with my life and with who i am but i’ll work with what i’ve got.

life gives u a mirror and shits on your face. sheesh.

for some reason, i can’t forget what my adviser told me during my 4th year of high school. she told me “it seems like you’re a person full of regrets” and every time i have a cryfest, i think of that. idk why. (never underestimate the power of a few words, folks). you know how like in flow charts, u encounter decision points? the diamond shapes? i think i always decide no and end up with the worst consequence and then there’s no more starting over. 

i don’t think i understand flow charts well. ugh. 

i can’t come up with a cool transition to me having insecurities so let’s say i did!

some people’s beauty, inspiring. but others just make you feel like shit.

i really want to explore my feminine side more because i was more masculine when i was younger. i’m not gentle, i’m a bit aggressive. and it just doesn’t fit with who i want to be. idk why. and also, it’s fun (!!!). you get a taste of what it’s like and it’s so EMPOWERING at least for the short experience that i had. but can make me feel very conscious of my entire being and i just end up wearing cartoony disguises. ironic but BABY STEPS. when i think about it, there’s really no black or white answer whether this or that is feminine or masculine.  

self-love is not a 5-step process. 

it is continuous improvement of oneself to the point where you don’t give a fuck about what they say. i really envy the ones who are comfortable in their own skin, who are totally embracing their flaws. they just bloom. some people just look like them. like it’s SO THEM. unmistakably them. and i think if everyone had that, we would not have standards anymore.

oh, to live in a time where individuality is encouraged but is also discouraged when not lived up to its standards. hurray.

19. this year was the year of mindless decisions. periodt.

20. hoping that the new year, 2020, will be the year of CLARITY where i know who i really am, embracing it, and where i will not be taking anymore of anyone’s bullshit. where i know where i stand in my relationships with other people and vice versa. there will be intentional but meaningful endings that will pave the way for blossoming beginnings. 

let’s hope it unfolds the way it should be. for the better.

bonus: nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing. everyone’s just going with the flow. be yourself.

note: this is a compilation of thoughts, informally. thank u.

[staple-soap-blog]

11 Questions Tag

Tagged by: @oh-beyond @dandelioner @julietsoddeye @loser-dot-com AND @3kpop2jagi1 (oh boy I get to answer 55 questions lucky me)

Let’s start with @oh-beyond ‘s questions

OK so my 11 questions will be based on this little scenario:

You find yourself with your bias in an elevator that breaks down…

1. He is a whiny baby… what do you do? How do you act around him?

Stand there awkwardly

2. Do you act around him like you know him or like you don’t?

Act like I don’t know him but he’ll probably figure out I know him by the way my cheeks are bright red and I’m on the floor hyperventilating this will be me at kcon

3. There is an obvious language barrier… do you try talk to him in his language (google translate, etc…) ? Or do you go for English and he can figure it out himself?

Start with english and pull out google translate for more complex sentences

4. He starts crying… do you decide unstanning him? Or do you lend your shoulder to cry on?

Lend shoulder. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am not leaving this earth with that big of a regret if I don’t take it.

5. He finally faints in your lap… do you take advantage? You stare? You touch his eyelashes to make sure they are real? His cheeks? Anything else?

Sit there awkwardly and try and wake him up. Fan his face or something.

6. He regains consciousness and he asks you if you’ve touched him… would you be honest?

I’ll admit to shaking him to wake him up.

7. Do you try making him laugh? Or you act all uninterested to create a mysterious aura so he gets curious? What is your tactic?

If I’m comfortable enough, I’ll try pulling a joke

8. If you decide on telling you stan him. What would be your questions to him? Would you admit he’s your bias or make him jealous telling him you like a different member?

What’s it like being an idol? How much free time do you get? You have the vice of an angel btw

9. If you act like you don’t know him, would you still try to impress him?

Y E S

10. You are taken… if he asks you if you have a significant other… would you lie?

No, I would be honest

11. The lights of the elevator go off and he’s scared and gets too close and his hands are too handsy… would you stop him? Or…?

Nope 😏  

@dandelionder  ‘s questions

1) What would your superhero/stage name be?

Jade is a good stage name. Idk about a superhero. Maybe Lack-of-motivation girl.

2) What’s the first color you always go for when painting?

I don’t paint that much but I guess blue

3) Roller coaster date or campfire date?

Depends on how scary the roller coaster is

4) Thoughts on scented candles?

They’re ok. I don’t own any but I like the concept

5) If you could wake up tomorrow in any country you wanted, where would you be?

Singapore

6) What’s your dream job?

Idm as long as I’m making fat stacks

7) Done any fun activities lately?

No

8) Have you ever been caught hiding in a really weird place?

I can’t remember, and I generally have really shit hiding spots so if a murderous clown broke into my house I’m dead

9) Do you eat cilantro(coriander) willingly?

Yes. An aversion to coriander is actually a genetic thing so if you hate coriander you are weak and natural selection is coming for you

10) Do you have a song you always come back to no matter what, that never gets old or boring? If yes, which one? I’m a sucker for other people’s heart-songs

Bring It Back by Will Sparks. For some reason I can listen to it really easily. I usually get sick of EDM songs quickly because they’re too loud and repetitive but the drop and overlay in this song has kept me hooked for 5 years

11) How the hell do people come up with such good questions? This was so freaking hard. 

Google them

@julietsoddeye  ‘s questions

1. What’s one thing that pisses you off just thinking about?

University

2. What was your favorite music genre when you were about 10-15 years old?

Pop and EDM

3. What is your dream job?

M a k e   m o n e y

4. What is your routine before going to bed at night (or morning if you’re like me lol)

Shower, eat snack, brush teeth, scroll through Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr for 2 hours before finally sleeping

5. If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what name would you pick?

Andrea? Idk it sounds cool

6. Do you have a favorite weird food combo?

Combining the maccas chocolate frappe and the strawberry & banana shake. I used to make this when I worked there but ever since I quit I’ve been too scared to order it because you need to know how to manually dispense the liquids and not a lot of people know how to do that so I feel bad for wasting their time

7. If you were given a chance to sing a song with your bias, would you do it?

Only if I was heavily autotuned

8. What are the 3 best things about you?

I have nice eyes

I tag all my friends in memes

I'm still alive

9.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d like to be more intelligent

10. What is your favorite day of the week?

Sunday

11. What is your favorite AU fic to read?

Usually supernatural fics. They’re more fun. Also, I need more angel au’s and that’s why i’ve started writing one which will probably take me 6 months to finish but let’s not talk about that

@loser-dot-com  ‘s questions

1. Bias’ favorite outfit? (Include pic of possible please ^_^)

Just kyungsoo in a suit is enough. But here is a pic of Jongin. I want that outfit on ksoo

2. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Pizza

3. What makes your bias so great?

Angel voice, amazing actor, squishy

4. Do you have any allergies?

Penicillin

5. Lemon or lime?

Lemon

6. If you had 3 wishes, what would you wish for? (Besides more wishes :P)

I’d wish for a credit card with unlimited amounts of money, more self confidence and world peace

7. Is your bias older or younger than you?

Older

8. Favorite type of candy?

Gummy bears

9. What song do you listen to when you’re sad?

I listen to the melody of my sobbing

10. If your bias called you beautiful/handsome complimented you, how would you respond?

I’d die

11. You appear in your bias’ bedroom! How do you react?

Steal his hoodies!!!

@3kpop2jagi1  ‘s questions

1. How are y’all doing today? 

I’m doing fine, just a lil stressed :(

2. What’s a food that you refuse to eat no matter how hungry you are?

Seafood. Like, fish and prawns are fine but I won’t eat octopus or mussels. I also can’t eat sashimi.

3. Pick your favorite element. (water, fire, earth, air)

Fire

4. You’re walking down a stone path and you see a table with a drink on it. What does the cup look like, and what does the liquid inside it look like?

The cup is a blue mug with a red interior. There is coke inside it.

5. What’s the last show you binge-watched?

Stranger Things was the last thing I binge watched but I’ve been watching Game of Thrones every week (now that’s done and I have nothing to watch)

6. Do you like ketchup?

Yes

7. You’re stuck in a fantasy world. Where are you? 

The bottom of the ocean with mermaids.

8. What food are you craving right now? 

Steak

9. There’s something in the back of your mind. It’s bothering you. What is it?

The stress of university and course selection and my final exams

10. What’s the last thing you googled?

What is the loss meme?

11. It’s your birthday, you’re about to blow out the candles and make a wish. What’s your wish?

I wish I can get a good job

Well that was a long ass ride. You ready for my questions? Here you go:

1. There is an object beside you. What is it?

2. Do you have any pets?

3. What is your favourite meme? (Attach pic if possible)

4. Would you rather live 10 lives lasting 100 years, or live 1 life lasting 1000 years?

5. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

6. What is your favourite type of sandwich?

7. Do you believe in aliens?

8. What is the meaning of life?

9. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

10. Imagine you are in a dark room. There is an ominous light emanating from behind you. You see a door. You open the door and there is something on the floor. A voice clarifies what that something is. What is the something and who’s voice did you hear?

11. Finish the joke: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Tagging: @xiubaek13 @keypea  @gwaenchanhajagiya @yeollieollie @jinnlypuff

[surveystodestressme]

46.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 7

601. Do you have a lust for life? i dunno, i guess??? 602. Do you want to get more out of life? i mean, kind of 603. Would you want to learn to: Convert to Buddhism? nope Cure a hangover? i already know this Lie persuasively?i try not to lie as often as i can 604. What character from a movie is most like you? i’m not sure 605. Are you comfortable with the idea of your own death? not at all

606. How do you feel about arranged marriages? i think they’re ridiculous, honestly.  and a lot of the time it’s an older man and a really young woman, or sometimes a little girl and that’s sickening to me. 607. What do you hate that everyone else seems to like? channing tatum 608. What do you like that others seem to hate? peeps 609. If you had to be named after a month, which month would you pick? June 610. Is time more like a highway or a meadow to you? meadow 611. What is your favorite movie? the saw movies 612. Which would you choose to be back in the day: a warrior, an alchemist, a minstrel, a bard, an oracle, a peasant, or a merchant? a warrior 613. What is your favorite song lyric? i don’t have one. 614. What will you never run out of? hopefully happiness 615. If you could force someone to fall madly in love with you, (anyone you choose) would you do it? absolutely not.  i want the love to be reciprocated bc it’s true not forced 616. Have you ever seen the Disney movie The Black Cauldron? never heard of it 617. Have you ever read The Black Cauldron by Alexander Lloyd (or any of his other books in the Prydain Chronicles)? nope 618. Have you ever written a paper the night before it was due? How about the day it was due? yeah 619. Is there a movie you have watched so many times that you can quote it line for line? absolutely 620. What is your favorite season? winter 621. Do you mind being described as cute? i don’t mind at all 622. What is the tackiest object in your home? oh, there’s plenty 623. What do you think people are most ignorant towards? a lot of things. 624. What is it that makes you an interesting person? i don’t know, people think i’m pretty funny and i guess that’s interesting??? 625. What makes other people interesting to you? anything, really.  something that they do that’s extraordinary 626. How open to suggestion are you? always open to suggestion 627. Is Michael Jackson black or white? he’s black 628. Are you often lonely? nope 629. What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had? i’ve had a snake but i don’t feel like that’s an unusual pet to have 630. Have you ever threatened an authority figure? hell no 631. If you had to choose would you rather make all your decisions henceforth with your head only or with your heart only? with my head 632. How imaginative are you? pretty imaginative i’d say 633. Do you like the Counting Crows? i don’t even know what that is 634. If you took this survey from the diary (5000 Q Survey V2.0) did you note me so I could read it? i stole this from someone else 635. Are you more tense or laid back? i’m a little of both, actually. 636. Does your happiness depend on anyone else, or are you happy no matter what any one says or does? it depends on some people around but i try to mostly base it on myself 637. What do you think of the idea of putting the bible into the format of a fashion magazine to attract the interest of teenagers? i don’t care man, i won’t read it though

638. How often do you drink to get drunk? not very often at all 639. Would you consider yourself to be diplomatic? nope 640. Do you think that most of the classes you have taken were taught in such a way as to make plain the relevance of the subject matter in your everyday life? not really, honestly. 641. Do you remember Crystal Pepsi? i’ve heard of it 642. When was the last time you spent a night away from home? it’s been a couple weeks 643. Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Is that true? absolutely not 644. What is the most interesting TV channel? discovery or animal planet or history channel 645. Name one song you could live without hearing ever again: call me maybe 646. Do your pets understand you when you talk? i think maybe a little bit 647. What are three things you HAVE NOT done that might surprise people? there’s a lot i’m sure 648. Have you ever had a secret admirer? i don’t remember if i have or not 649. Have you been to a museum this year? yeah a couple weeks ago 650. Do you ever watch porn? i do on occasion 651. Do you think that it would be a good idea if people served in the army, navy or air force for a while before they were allowed to vote? i don’t care either way honestly 652. If you were required to do this to vote, would you? no, i wouldn’t.  i was in the national guard for a while and i didn’t enjoy it very much 653. Do people often give you weird looks? i don’t really pay attention 654. Do like Japanese cooking? yeah 655. Do you care for stray animals? i feel bad for them and wish i could give them a safe pace to live 656. Which animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: A Charlie Brown Christmas: i liked it when i was a kid A Garfield Halloween: i haven’t seen it The Secret of Nimh: haven’t seen it The Last Unicorn: ^^ The original Lord of the Rings cartoons ^^ 657. Are you ambidextrous (equally good at using both hands)? no, my left hand is useless 658. Do you always say; “bless you” after someone sneezes, or do you hesitate? not usually 659. If you and your friends could go away for 2 days over Halloween weekend where would you go? to the spookiest haunted house around 660. Which of these animated movies have you seen and what did you think of them: Watership Down As the Wind Blows Grave of the Fireflies How the Grinch Stole Christmas: love love love this movie Spirited Away 661. Do you feel that society is male dominated, female dominated, or neutral? idk 662. What words offend you? not many at all 663. They’re just words. Can you get over it? yeah 664. Have you ever looked into different religions? i had to do a project on a religion.  i picked satanism and it was quite interesting 665. Which ones have you looked into? ^ 666. What do you think of Satanism as a religion? i mean, i know to classify as a religion there has to be a certain amount of people following it right? i guess it can be a religion.  i don’t care either way.  i think it;s interesting regardless 667. Do you like it better when your classes are taught sitting in rows or sitting in a circle? i don’t care either way 668. Have you ever read your own tarot cards? nope 669. Which ones do you like better, the three old star wars movies or the 2 new ones? i like the older ones 670. If you scream in outer space does it make a sound? no 671. If you saw The Queen of the Damned did you want to be a vampire/Goth afterwards? never seen it 672. If you saw SLC Punk did you want to be punk afterwards? didn’t see it 673. What is your favorite zombie movie? shaun of the dead 674. Best kids birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater anything really 675. What were your parties like when you were a kid? they were pretty fun from what i recall 676. Best teen (about 15-16) birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert in my teenage years i would’ve wanted to go bowling or something like that 677. What are/were your 15-16 year old parties like? i didn’t have any by the time i was in high school 678. Best 18th birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party college party, ig 679. If you are 18 what was your party like? didn’t really party for my 18th 680. Best 21st birthday party: ceramics, chuck-e-cheese, roller rink, bowling, sleep over, movie theater, house party, catered in a hall, restaurant, family trip, concert, club, pool hall, college party, bar, Atlantic city/Las Vegas trip las vegas would’ve been cool 681. If you saw The Craft were you interested in wicca/paganism/magic afterwards? never saw it 682. What are your top 3 priorities? being happy, getting my dream job, making sure jack is happy 683. If you saw fight club did you want to get into a fistfight afterwards? nah 684. What is your favorite smell? i have a lot 685. Give everything below a humor rating (1 = laugh your ass off, 2 = lol, 3 = smile, 4 = lame, 5 = not funny, 6 = offensive): People falling 4 Rape jokes 6 Sarcastic comments 3 Blonde jokes 4 Dirty jokes 1 God/religion jokes 2 Long-ass jokes 5 Death jokes 2 Pain/sickness jokes 3 Animals doing cute stuff 2 Bodily functions 4 Knock jokes 2 Ethnic jokes 3 Puns 1 Ironic situations 1 685. If you saw Cruel Intentions did you want to have lots of meaningless sex afterwards? never seen it 686. Do you get at least three hugs per day? probably 687. What should someone never say to you/call you if they want to remain on your good side? a cunt? idk 688. If you saw Trainspotting did you want to do drugs afterwards? never seen it 689. Do movies have a great influence on you? i think so, sometimes i guess? 690. Do you have a favorite reality TV show? are you the one 691. Are there certain roles that people are pressured to play in society or can they basically do whatever they want? i mean, i feel like some people are pressured 692. How does the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake compare to the original movie? i’ve never seen the original 693. Have you ever held a magnifying glass over an insect to burn it? nope 694. Have you ever pulled the wings off a fly, butterfly or any other insect? i once put a butterfly in a jar and that’s it 695. What would you think of a guy (if you’re into guys) or a girl (if you’re into girls) who wanted to take you to the park to feed the birds and look at the turtles and fish in the water on a date? i think that would be adorable 696. Do you use public pools? i haven’t in a while, but i would 697. Do you use public bathrooms? yeah 698. Do you use public showers? helllll no 699. How old will you be in 17 years? 38 700. Would it effect you at all if you knew that a very large meteor was headed towards earth that would impact in 17 years? that would suck

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Quick, gimme a place I could be going

Buster: Where do scumbag lads from the 24 holiday?

Rio: 😑

Rio: Safe to say nowhere that looks like the French Riviera

Rio: going somewhere without phone signal guys, no there won't be pics to show you when I'm back either, bye

Buster: For real though, you could say you've got a job somewhere

Buster: No tourist shots 'cause you're working so hard, like

Buster: Under lock and key serving those drinks

Rio: Hmm

Rio: might work

Rio: can just say it was shit when I come back after no time at all

Buster: When you're getting picking grapes at a vineyard but don't get picked by the man of your dreams 💔

Buster: You just can't get the daddies these days, babe

Rio: 😂 Shut up

Rio: clearly past it but you don't need to rub it in

Buster: You shut up

Buster: You're with me, you've never looked better

Rio: Firstly, that's the point, no I ain't

Rio: Stick to the story boy!

Buster: 😂

Buster: Didn't realise you were screenshotting this convo, like

Rio: Obviously

Rio: Everyone so highkey

Rio: Like no one's questioning Nance what she's really doing or who she's going with 🙄

Buster: If you wanna go gay so nobody questions why you're coming with me you probably should've put some groundwork in before now

Buster: Better go kiss some hot girls quick, like

Rio: Very subtle, babe

Rio: Been there, done that

Rio: still don't think it's gonna be bought

Buster: 😏

Buster: Have you actually?

Rio: 🙄

Rio: FOCUS

Buster: I am

Buster: On that

Rio: Thought you didn't like sharing?

Rio: Double standard, like

Buster: It was before me so I'm not

Rio: Hmm

Rio: Not dying to know all the hot lads I've kissed though are you 😂

Buster: We can compare numbers if you want, babe

Buster: No shame here

Rio: Knew it 😏

Rio: Posh boys

Buster: It's not my fault if half the boys at school are in love with me

Buster: Irresistible, aren't I

Rio: So charitable

Buster: Well, I was gonna take you shopping before we go but if you don't wanna then fine

Rio: I was being nice

Rio: 😇

Buster: I reckon you can be nicer

Rio: Fine

Rio: I'll tell you all about the hot girls

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: but first 💳 me

Buster: Fine

Buster: I was being purely selfish anyway, there's so much shit I need before we can go

Rio: Jokes, babe

Rio: Same though

Rio: Last year's bikini ain't gonna cut it

Buster: Honestly, you can't be showing me up even if you are safe from the socials

Buster: So tell me what you need

Rio: I ain't walking 50 paces behind you

Rio: even if you've got lanky ass legs

Buster: Please, I could get you to do anything

Buster: But there's no fun in that, you gotta walk in front if anything

Rio: Keep it up and I'm walking away fr

Rio: Birthday boy or nah

Buster: 😂

Buster: Try it, I'm faster than you, and I'll easily just pick you up and carry you away, babe

Rio: 😠 Try it

Rio: 👊

Buster: I will if I have to

Rio: I wouldn't if I were you, I couldn't find you anything special so I'm like half your present still

Rio: Keep me on side, trust

Buster: You're protesting too much. You know you'd love it

Rio: Shh

Rio: You're being very unhelpful when I'm sat here tryna swear blind I ain't going away with a lad

Buster: You should just admit you are

Buster: That way we don't have to keep the bruising to a discrete minimum

Rio: Effort though

Rio: creating a fake mans, easiest way to get caught out

Buster: I'm real

Buster: Just don't use my name or family tree, obviously

Rio: Work on my mates

Rio: Not sure if the fam is that dim

Rio: hmm, sounds vaguely familiar 😂

Buster: How many details do they need?

Buster: Fucking hell

Buster: None of your business fam 😂

Rio: You have no idea 🙄

Rio: Perks of avoiding 'em truly

Buster: All your exes drop in with a CV and blood sample or what, like?

Rio: Don't

Rio: You know my 'rents out here making 'em part of the fam when we're like 2 weeks in

Rio: irony not escaping me 😬

Buster: We're literally never telling 'em

Buster: I'd have to dump you

Buster: Christ

Rio: What have I been saying?

Buster: How the fuck have our parents got such different vibes?

Rio: I know, how did my Ma happen tbh? 😂

Buster: She fits in to this fam's whole touchy feeling mood

Buster: It's my 'rents who are keeping that professional distance

Rio: You reckon?

Rio: It's a pretty even split tbh

Rio: how often are we seeing Joe, like

Buster: True

Buster: But like, I told my dad the birthday plan, cool place, hot girl, and he hit with an eyebrow and moved on

Buster: Nan and Granddad spinning in the graves they ain't yet in

Rio: Don't jinx 'em like

Rio: but nah

Rio: I reckon they just reckon that's how you prefer it

Rio: Little enthusiasm wouldn't hurt, though

Buster: Maybe they used it all on Nance's ideas

Buster: Gotta make sure she doesn't dramatically throw herself into the sea or some shit

Rio: I'm telling ya

Rio: Gon' be sipping cocktails with a babe in some naff resort

Rio: Got you all so fooled with this artsy shit

Buster: 😂

Buster: Benidorm with a butch

Rio: I'm glad you went for that joke 'cos it's too soon for Costa Del Sol with a cougar, like

Buster: Don't start me on the whole MILF thing

Buster: 🙄

Rio: Poor Nance

Buster: You've gotta draw the line when she's got actual existing kids

Buster: I'm not trying to be that kind of daddy

Rio: Don't think she planned on bringing the kids along, like

Rio: So not part of the fantasy

Buster: Don't

Buster: Never say fantasy in relation to Nance again, yeah?

Rio: Got it

Rio: That's a line I'm fine not crossing, don't worry

Buster: Better be

Buster: If you tell me she's one of the hot girls you've kissed we're over

Rio: Don't be twisted

Buster: I'm just saying

Buster: No need to take the sibling rivalry there

Rio: Gross

Rio: safe to assume I ain't her type either, like

Buster: Unlucky babe

Rio: 💔

Rio: Guess you'll do

Buster: Fuck off

Buster: You love me

Rio: Yeah

Rio: you know

Buster: Say it though

Rio: I love you

Rio: Idiot

Buster: You better

Buster: I'm sharing my birthday with you

Buster: Haven't done that since I was a kid, cheers

Rio: Hey, I'm fine with a party bag, babe

Rio: All about you

Buster: I'm not gonna hit you with a slice of cake and send you on your way

Buster: Don't worry

Rio: Good to know

Rio: Bit of a trek for some Colin the catterpillar tbh

Rio: love you and everything but

Buster: 😂

Buster: You think my mum ever gave us that? Come on

Rio: And you tryna say they're so zoned out

Buster: Always ready to brag, every single one of us

Rio: You know I had the best though

Rio: 👸

Buster: 'Course

Rio: When ur first daddy just spoils you too hard, like

Rio: 💁

Buster: Explains a lot

Rio: wys boy

Buster: 😏

Rio: Rude

Rio: 😣 Imma stay here if you're not being nice

Buster: It ain't. You know I like it

Buster: Start shopping, babe, you'll see how nice I'm ready to be

Rio: Ain't even got your bday money yet baby

Buster: We're spending that when we're there

Rio: Exactly, so I got me

Buster: It's my birthday you have to do what I want

Rio: But

Buster: But nothing

Buster: I've got you

Rio: Okay

Rio: I won't argue

Rio: bday rules and all

Buster: Good

Rio: How many out out outfits do I need?

Buster: like 4

Rio: Right

Rio: I can make this work

Buster: No doubt

Buster: Not to sound like my sister but I swear I'm over my entire wardrobe right now

Rio: 😂

Rio: Any excuse

Buster: Babe you can laugh but what the fuck is some of this? Like seriously

Rio: 😏 I mean

Rio: sure I tried to tell you at the time

Buster: I find that hard to believe

Buster: You always manage to make yourself heard somehow

Rio: I know

Rio: Impressive, isn't it?

Buster: One word for it

Rio: Come on, ain't trying keep you quiet

Rio: say what you mean, babe

Buster: Don't distract me, I'm very busy 😏

Rio: Having a wardrobe crisis, sure

Rio: Promise, don't care what you're wearing

Buster: Alright, catch me in the finest the 24 has to offer

Rio: Hoping to catch you out of 'em like but alright

Buster: You don't need hope

Buster: Just determination

Buster: Have you thought of your lie yet?

Rio: Planning to be hard to get all of a sudden?

Rio: I'm just gonna not lie

Rio: but be vague, obviously

Rio: social media ban should keep from suspicion, been to enough places I can describe a generic hol, like

Buster: Well, you're always saying I'm vague and you'll know where I am if you need a hand

Buster: Have you been too enough places with shit WIFI to make that believable though?

Rio: 😩 idk

Rio: its stressing me

Rio: maybe you're camera shy

Rio: or ugly as hell

Buster: Baby calm down it's alright

Buster: This is meant to be a good thing, yeah?

Buster: Me and you together celebrating

Rio: I know

Rio: I'm sorry

Rio: Everyone can just respectfully fuck off for a bit

Rio: It'll be good, I will, promise

Buster: I love you

Buster: And we're gonna figure this out

Rio: I love you too

Rio: pisses me off 'cos it feels needless

Rio: I know we have to and it ain't but, shouldn't have to be this much of a drama

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: I know what I said about keeping your fam in the dark forever and tempting as it is, I swear it won't always be like this

Rio: Don't chuck me

Buster: Don't be an idiot

Rio: It's what you said

Buster: Come on

Rio: I know

Rio: this is why we ain't telling

Rio: talk about an awkward breakup

Rio: imagine if your 'rents had

Rio: did they ever think of that like, could hardly avoid each other

Buster: Maybe they did but they couldn't handle the awkwardness

Buster: Fuck staying together for the kids, they had to do it for the whole fam's sake, like

Rio: Oh my God

Rio: what I'm saying, really trapped themselves

Rio: 😬

Buster: If you get sick of me give me warning so I can move to another country, yeah?

Rio: 'Course

Rio: least I could do

Buster: Cheers

Rio: Promise I won't get all psycho Chlo about it either

Buster: Don't

Buster: I see her at school so often it's got me so jumpy every time I walk past a mirror I cross myself in case she appears

Rio: Yeah, that is shit

Rio: at least I don't HAVE to be anywhere Ryan is

Rio: can hardly walk out or tell her to leave

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Speaking of that cunt though, how's he been behaving?

Rio: Been pretty quiet

Rio: knock on wood, like

Rio: saw him in town once and he was his usual charming self but that was just chance so

Buster: Glad I don't have to waste a wish on that then

Rio: Definitely not

Rio: Lucky that, really don't fancy adding him to the list of people I gotta give the dl on where I'm going 😂

Buster: Lucky 'cause I don't fancy you getting mad at me when I knock him out, more like

Rio: Oh, babe

Rio: forget about him, I am

Buster: Sorry

Rio: Don't be

Rio: You're cute, and I wouldn't be mad on principle

Buster: I hate that I can't protect you from all his shit, that's all

Rio: I know

Rio: but it ain't that bad

Buster: I get that you can handle it, I'm not saying that, I just don't want you to have to

Buster: If I could be the protective boyfriend and warn him off everything would be fine but

Rio: Maybe but

Rio: maybe not

Rio: he's just a prick

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Fuck him, we don't need to talk about him anymore

Rio: Agreed

Rio: Maybe I can get a job out there

Rio: in the casinos, hmm

Buster: We're meant to be playing hard not working hard, babe

Rio: You know I gotta hustle

Rio: I'm over the angel fr

Buster: Get a London job when we get back, then I'll never have to miss you

Rio: That'd be nice

Rio: But we both know I can't

Buster: Lie to me

Buster: I want you here all the time

Rio: I wanna be with you all the time too

Rio: Again, one day

Rio: I think Drew would at least cover Indie's rent but she shouldn't be alone, she's still a kid

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: You wouldn't be you if you didn't look out for her

Buster: And I quite like you so

Rio: 😏 Steady

Rio: Don't get all mushy

Buster: 'Course not

Buster: Who do you think I am?

Rio: Was gonna say

Rio: slow down and wait for me if you've already started your celebrations, like

Buster: I wish

Rio: We'll be making up for lost time so soon baby

Buster: You gonna jump out of a cake for me?

Rio: Couldn't get Dad to bake me in

Rio: Spoilsport much

Buster: 😂

Buster: To be a fly on the wall for that convo, though

Rio: He knows I'm extra but

Buster: Unfair 'cause I'm always insisting you keep my secrets but you're such an open book, babe

Rio: I dunno

Rio: I kinda like it just being me who knows

Rio: How selfish

Buster: I'm well proud

Buster: You really are learning

Rio: Bound to happen eventually

Rio: So persistent, babe 😉

Buster: What can I say? You're worth putting the work in

Rio: 😚

Rio: Baby

Buster: I'm not going soft, don't worry

Buster: I'll be rude to you later, I'm sure

Rio: Be the rudest if you did go soft on me

Rio: Ultimate insult

Buster: Fuck that

Buster: I could never

Rio: Happens to the best of us, don't worry 😂

Buster: Shut up

Rio: Really, nothing to be embarrassed about babe

Buster: Are you trying to jinx me or what?

Buster: Good luck

Rio: Just giving you something to prove

Rio: you're so adorable when you're mad

Buster: You trying to say I've still gotta prove myself to you?

Rio: No

Rio: I'm saying I like it when you do

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: Yeah

Rio: been too long

Buster: I miss you too, babe

Rio: It's so stupid

Rio: not even gone yet and already thinking about how much I'll miss you when we're back

Buster: It's shit

Buster: But it'll be Christmas hols before we know it and nobody can bat an eyelid about us being together then

Rio: Hooray for forced family time, yeah?

Rio: Don't let anyone hear YOU saying that though, so suspect

Buster: You know I don't waste my time talking to any of that lot

Rio: Hmm

Rio: So bad 😏

Buster: I wonder if Nance will be in a better mood with me by then

Buster: Don't really wanna have to do a whole secret santa vibe

Rio: Season of goodwill

Rio: Can put hope

Rio: add it to your wishlist now, like

Buster: I'll start thinking about her gift soon

Buster: Go big or go home, literally maybe

Rio: Work on that Winter wardrobe

Buster: Maybe I can send her on another trip, get her out of my way and do a nice thing all at once

Rio: Maybe

Rio: Sure you don't wanna spend time with her though?

Buster: You're funny

Rio: I'm not joking, like

Buster: Well, it's still hilarious

Buster: I'm trying to get her on side not further off

Rio: Maybe it is running before you can walk

Rio: still, gotta start somewhere, babe

Buster: You do, you mean

Buster: You're well determined to sort this, aren't you?

Rio: Your relationship with your family?

Rio: Duh

Buster: You're cute

Buster: Annoying but cute

Rio: What, like you want it like this

Rio: Come on now

Buster: Like it matters how I want it

Buster: I don't get to fuck up and still call the shots

Rio: It does matter

Rio: and she's not renounced you

Rio: it ain't that deep

Rio: not quite

Buster: Whatever

Buster: I can't make her talk to me

Buster: She's not you

Rio: I'll lock you in a room like

Rio: she can be mad at me then instead

Buster: Don't you dare

Rio: 😂

Rio: Don't be a baby

Buster: Don't start

Buster: You were behaving

Rio: Only lasts for so long

Rio: Do something about it if you're mad

Buster: Nice try

Buster: I'm not gonna make it that easy for you to get what you want

Rio: 😒

Rio: I'm so offended

Buster: Don't be a baby

Rio: 😲

Rio: Touche

Buster: 😏

Rio: 😣

Buster: Are you giving up just like that, babe?

Rio: I'm very busy don't distract me

Buster: Touche

Buster: But you didn't listen when I said it, so don't expect me too

Rio: I'll leave you to it then

Rio: So sorry

Buster: Don't

Rio: Sure?

Buster: Stay

Rio: 'Course

Rio: You don't want a kitten, do you?

Buster: You've got so many jokes today

Rio: We're giving Nancy one

Rio: Ma found a pregnant cat

Rio: they're so cute

Buster: 'Course she did

Buster: Sounds like you want me to have one so you can, babe

Rio: Shh

Rio: stop foiling my plans

Rio: [pics]

Buster: I'm not raising a baby with you

Rio: Cats are so low maintenance

Rio: it will keep you company

Buster: Good for them 'cause I ain't

Buster: Also not lonely, like

Rio: Boo

Buster: Take one for Indie, I'm sure she'd be buzzing

Buster: So would the cat if they can get high, like, but

Rio: I'm definitely not giving you one now

Rio: don't get a cat stoned, you monster 😂

Rio: and Indie wants a dog

Buster: Dogs can definitely get high, right?

Buster: Sure I've seen that online before

Buster: Indie'll have to clean up her act

Rio: We'll see if that's strong enough incentive

Rio: I doubt it but

Buster: Yeah

Buster: She'd have to get pregnant to make that stick I reckon and nobody's ready for that

Rio: Don't even play

Rio: Jesus

Buster: Just saying

Buster: Unlikely you'll be taking care of a puppy or kitten any time soon

Rio: We can have a dog

Rio: not like she's gonna be blowing smoke in the poor things face

Rio: so dramatic

Buster: You don't reckon you've got enough responsibility with her and the flat?

Buster: More fool you

Rio: Only got to walk and feed it

Rio: waaayyy easier than Indie

Buster: True

Buster: What isn't though?

Rio: Bless her

Buster: Maybe I can throw a kitten Chlo's way

Buster: Properly distract her

Buster: She'd probably call it a love token though, yeah?

Rio: Um yeah

Rio: may as well wife her now, like

Rio: no no

Rio: and she ain't having one of mine 😒

Buster: What so you're gonna keep them all?

Rio: Have you been to my gaff?

Rio: Probably 😂

Rio: if Ma knows people who might want 'em then they'll go

Buster: I can't believe you're giving my sister one

Rio: She's so buzzing

Rio: Easy bday present forreal, unlike some

Buster: I thought you were my present

Buster: So unless you're gonna be difficult

Rio: I had to get you something

Rio: Don't get too excited though

Rio: well, can about me

Rio: standard 😉

Buster: I was gonna say

Buster: Don't do yourself down, babe

Rio: Please

Buster: I mean, do put the work in still

Buster: As much as I miss you, you've still gotta bring it

Rio: When have I ever done anything less?

Buster: I can't lie, you ain't yet but you know

Buster: You might get bored of all this

Rio: You gonna stop bringing it too?

Rio: 'Cos that's the only way that's happening

Buster: Please

Buster: That shit's impossible

Rio: Glad to hear it, babe

Buster: I love you

Rio: Love you

Buster: I wish we could go now

Buster: With or without your fam's need for details being satisfied

Rio: Me too

Rio: I don't care no more

Rio: think I'm drug trafficking if you like

Rio: save the intervention 'til I'm back, though

Buster: 😂

Buster: Seriously, it's bad enough that I can't brag that I'm with you day to day, on my birthday when you're the gift that keeps giving, I should be able to

Rio: Babe

Rio: You're so cute

Buster: Shhh

Buster: You know I'm speaking the truth

Buster: So over not being able to pose with you ever

Rio: I know

Rio: Me too

Rio: but it's still worth it

Buster: 'Course

Buster: Don't ever think I'm saying it ain't, yeah?

Buster: Unless I actually do, but that's not happening

Rio: Got it

Rio: When do you reckon we can tell people

Rio: or if we should

Buster: I'll tell them now if you want

Buster: Just say the word

Rio: You don't wanna do that

Rio: time for celebration yeah

Buster: I want you

Buster: It's too late for them to take their gifts back if they ain't still in the mood to celebrate

Rio: Priorities

Buster: When do you wanna do it? Sat around the Christmas tree, like?

Buster: There's never gonna be a good time

Rio: Exactly

Rio: I'm scared

Buster: I know

Buster: But whatever happens, you're safe with me

Buster: I'm not going anywhere, not without you

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I feel it, I really do

Rio: We'll think about it, but we've got fun to have first, like

Buster: Just think, they can't all hate us, there's so many of them, that's basic probability, yeah? Someone's gotta be alright with it

Buster: It's not like any of the fam actually have room to judge anyway

Rio: It's a number's game, yeah? 😂

Rio: Already thinking like you in that casino

Rio: I don't want any of them to hate us, is the issue but you know

Rio: gotta be real

Rio: it's too hard to live like this and think it's forever, nah

Buster: You know it, babe 🎲 I'm so ready

Buster: Yeah, but I don't reckon anyone will

Buster: Not with all the shit this fam has been through already

Buster: And like you said, even if there's drama, it's gotta be done

Rio: Same 💃

Rio: I don't wanna think about it anymore, distract me

Buster: Okay baby

Buster: [Sends pics]

Buster: Think about me

Rio: How could I think about anything else now? 😻

Rio: Why you so good

Buster: Spending too much time with you, obviously

Rio: I mean #myinfluence

Rio: Your nude game has no doubt gone ⬆

Buster: Doing yourself a favor is the ultimate selfishness

Buster: Well done

Buster: So proud

Rio: See? I knew what I was doing all along 😚

Rio: Basic rules of karma, send good nudes and you shall receive

Buster: I'll ignore the implication that my angles were for shit before, yeah?

Buster: 'Cause when you asked for a distraction I don't reckon you wanted a fight

Rio: Come on 😏 Gimme that

Rio: you can say you've my fair lady'd me if you want

Buster: I'll let you have it 'cause I know I wasn't trying for the girls in this postcode

Buster: If you promise not to get too fancy on me

Rio: I'm not gonna be the one to call myself a bit of rough but we all thinking it

Buster: I was gonna say real

Buster: But alright

Rio: I prefer that

Buster: Whatever we're calling it, it's working for me

Buster: I like you

Rio: Works for me

Rio: You're not so bad yourself too so

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: 😏

Rio: Letting you have it

Buster: What else are you gonna let me have before it's officially my birthday?

Rio: Not your presents, if that's what you're thinking

Buster: Come on

Buster: I'll act proper surprised on the day

Rio: 😏

Rio: Was about to doubt your acting ability but we've pulled this off so far so maybe you can be trusted

Buster: No need to ever doubt me, babe

Buster: I'm that good

Rio: Okay, just one, like

Rio: Mum enough for you? 😂

Buster: 😂

Buster: OG MILF

Buster: Nance missed a trick there

Rio: It's frankly insulting

Rio: she's seen me in peak ma action and still not feeling it

Buster: Poor baby

Buster: I got all the good taste, that's all

Rio: 😻

Rio: Gonna let you have that too, not just to save my ego

Buster: You know it's true too

Buster: You've always been my type, babe

Rio: Yeah?

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Don't let the torture like kiss fool you

Buster: I reckoned it was gonna be my finest moment, at the time

Rio: It was perfect

Buster: Babe

Buster: Don't lie

Rio: I mean

Rio: obviously it wasn't the most technically perfect but

Rio: I'm glad it was you

Buster: Me too

Buster: My mum and dad talk a lot of shit but there's something to be said for having firsts with someone

Buster: Someone you actually want

Rio: Yeah

Rio: never good to look back on someone you've been with and really think, what the fuck

Buster: I've got enough of them without adding you to the list

Rio: Same frankly

Rio: Gotta try and keep the number down

Buster: Exactly

Buster: Why I don't do repeats

Rio: Well, the idea is repeat when you like 'em

Rio: not guaranteed you won't regret but you know, better odds in that category

Buster: 'Course

Rio: Have you ever slept with the same person more than once though?

Rio: Surely

Buster: Yeah. You

Buster: I mean, when I was a kid I did all my firsts with the same girl but once we fucked she chucked me so

Buster: Lesson learned

Rio: Awh

Rio: How mean

Buster: She regretted it

Buster: Not my bad, like I was obviously incredible but

Rio: Naturally

Rio: Nah, most people do

Rio: well, from what I can gather, the girls do and the boys were just scared then underwhelmed by it all

Rio: oh god, do not take me back, like

Buster: Same

Buster: Granted there's a lot of shit I could and would do better or not bother doing in the first place but like

Buster: Nah

Rio: Yeah, can't waste your time on that

Rio: who knows who or where you'd be now if you did it different, like

Buster: Cunt then, cunt now

Buster: It doesn't matter

Rio: Shut up

Rio: You are not

Rio: and you weren't that bad, anyway, we're all entitled to that phase

Buster: You're so biased

Buster: Just always loved me

Buster: Can't get enough of it

Rio: 😏

Rio: Why do you want me to think you're a cunt so bad, honestly

Buster: 'Cause I am

Buster: And you're too smart to buy into my bullshit, yeah?

Rio: I am

Rio: but you might not be if you're actually convinced you're a bad person, like

Buster: I'm not saying I'm 😈 just that I ain't a good person, let's be honest

Buster: Chlo reckons you can't buy class but what you can't buy is a decent set of morals

Rio: You are

Rio: You've just done some shit things and who hasn't

Buster: Like I said, you're shamelessly influenced by your 😍

Buster: I'm not mad about it though

Rio: 😑

Rio: No

Buster: Don't get mad about it yourself

Rio: I'm not mad just

Rio: You should know you aren't a bad person

Buster: Give me another year of being stuck here being a cunt first

Buster: 'Cause I know there ain't much I can do about that

Rio: That don't count, they don't deserve nice things or you

Buster: Stay with me though, yeah? Even though you do

Rio: I will because you are

Rio: You're good where it counts

Rio: and you're gonna make things up with Nancy you know

Buster: I'm gonna try

Buster: Patience is one thing I am good at, like

Buster: Get it done in the end

Rio: Exactly, you wouldn't give a shit if you were an actual cunt

Buster: I'm sure not every cunt is an only child, babe

Buster: She's still my sister

Rio: Stop fighting it

Rio: Accept your 😇

Buster: Alright

Buster: But only 'cause I'm hoping it means you get to be 😈

Rio: Might make an exception for you, babe

Rio: 'cos you know, I'm practically perfect in every way, like

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Perfect for me, which means you know when to be good and when not to

Buster: So please

Rio: Okay

Rio: I'm convinced 😈

Buster: Glad to hear it

Buster: Call me until I'm convinced too

Rio: 🤤 Sir yes sir

[stylessemantics]

Hiii! Could you please write something where you and H are friends but you like each other and he's alway super cute but also flirty? the rest is up to you, thank you xx

Rating: PG!Warnings: none really. Just harry being a cheeky bastardCategory: fluff?Word Count: 4,154 I think the longest a request has been so far!Request: yes! I’m stock piling these, trying to get them done so I’ll be popping more during the week i think. I’ll try. If not I will after #BIM is over :)

Note: IDK if this is “super cute but also flirty” but there’s some of both mixed in and stuff… I hope you like the way this turned out!

17. Something Small.

You run down the halls of school in search for your best friend, Harry. The envelope in your hands is too important and you clutch it tight to your body. Crashing against bodies and yelling half-assed apologies to people as you rush to get to his locker before first period. Soon you can see him, in all his skinny jean glory.“ Harry harry harry!” you yell coming close. So close that you almost slam into the open door of his locker, smacking it shut.“ Whoa whoa, hey there Lighting McQueen.”“ Oh lord Harry you won’t believe what I go-”“ G’morning to you too” he says interrupting you and throwing his messenger bag on his shoulder and fully closing his locker. You roll your eyes, this was not a moment to greet and say hello. You were freaking out, quickly you slam the letter on his chest and he scoffs looking at it. Soon his eyes and mouth both open wide. “Have you read it?” he says as he takes it in his hand and scans his eyes over the sleek design or the letter. London University of Arts. You bite your lip and shake your head no.“ No, I checked the mail before coming today and it was… God it was just sitting there, haunting me… And I ran”“ Fuck, oh… God I…” His dimples were showing. This was so important.“ Well open it!”“ Who? Me?” he asks in shock, green eyes opened to no belief. “N-no way, this is your letter… Yeh have t’open-““ I’m shaking, I can’t open it!” You say hopping up and down and shaking your hands. He breathes in and out and nods before tearing the paper open. You rest against the locker behind you covering your eyes. This is the most nerve-wracking moment of your life.

Harry takes a deep breath before scanning his eyes over the beautiful printed words, even the font they used was pretty, what the fuck.“ Dear miss Y/F/N, we are pleased to inform you THAT YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED-“ Harry doesn’t have to continue. The words “pleased” and “you’ve been selected” are all the indication both of you need to start screaming and jumping into each others arms. Harry sways you back and forth and you hide your face in his neck. “You did it, you got in” he whispers against your ear and his hand runs circles on your back. It feels amazing to be hugged by Harry, it’s easily one of your favourite feelings in the world. He pulls back a little bit and his nose bumps yours, but he keeps his face there. None of you move, and your breaths and his clash as they escape your parted lips. His eyes search yours, the green is a lot more intense today, or at least they look like that up close. And the moment, if there ever was any, is kind of ruined when you hear the typical“ JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY” that someone screams at you as they walk down the hall. You and Harry both groan and separate from the embrace.“ Shut up Nicholson!” the both of you scream at your friend as he walks away and into his classroom. You turn back to Harry shaking your head and find him looking at you.“What?” you ask confused, and he’s quick to shake his head rid of whatever thought.“ Nothing… Gosh you made it!”“ I know” you can’t help but squeal and Harry takes a hold of your hands, giving them kisses all over. You tried to get your tummy to calm down, this was a typical Harry thing to do. Just hold you and kiss you and flirt, the reason why everyone was always so into you getting together, but you were just friends, and you both knew that.“I love you, and I’m proud of you”“ And I love you and am proud of you too, mister” you bop his nose with your finger after freeing your hand of his. “You’ll get your letter soon, ok? And we’ll go to London and we’ll laugh like these days were something small” the words come out of your lips soft and with a smile. Harry was so nervous he was going to have to settle for one of the colleges that were NOT his dream. He’d been accepted to some, but his London University of Arts acceptance letter had yet to arrive. Still, you never lost hope. You were both going to get into your dream college. Harry nods and sighs taking a hold of your hand before walking with you over to your fist period class.

During lunch time you both got the same jokes and looks from your friends as you sat between Harry’s legs, resting against his chest and he had his arms wrapped around you over your shoulders, while everyone chatted and munched on their meals. It wasn’t you, it was Harry. As usual the moment he reached the bench where you were sat, he made you sprawl on him. It’s not like your heart jumped every time he did it, but you liked it. You liked being close to Harry. You liked him. The bell rang and you had to go to P.E but Harry’s head was elsewhere, as he never let go of you even when people picked up their things and left.“ Uh, Harry?” “ Hmm?” he responded not really looking at you, as he just stared at the sky or something, deep in thought. You craned your neck to look up at him and tapped him on the cheek, his head turned to you this time, and his nose bumped with yours. You both stopped there for a second, shivers going up your spine and breath caught in your throat. Harry moves leans down and presses a quick kiss to your cheek, breaking you from the spell that the embrace had you on. You clear your throat“ Uh, I have to run. I have P.E”“ Oh, oh! Uh, yeah” he snaps out of his daze and untangles himself from you, allowing you to get up and pick up your stuff, but he reaches for your hand, giving it a quick kiss as well, before he also gets up and waves goodbye, walking off to his next class, surely late.

You stand there for a moment reliving the feeling of his lips ghosting over yours over and over and over.

The next day at school, is filled with people delivering silly prom-posals for the upcoming senior prom. You still can’t believe it’s your last year of high school and you get to go to London to study some more. There’s still no news from College for Harry but you still have no doubts he got in. “ Hey beautiful” Harry says as he comes to your locker and drops a kiss on your cheek, that immediately flushes red.“ Hey H” you answer closing it. You take just two steps before running into another prom-posal, this time apparently Jenny asked her boyfriend Mark with the help of the whole Girl Soccer Team. “Ok that was seriously cute” you start to say to Harry “but if I see another prom-posal today I might go insane.” Harry looks at you chuckling“ Sick of them already?”“ People go a bit too over board with these. It’s like they have to out-do each other with the biggest proposal Jefferson High has yet to see” Harry scoffs“ Come on, you’d melt at a big proposal like that” you giggle at him and stop in your tracks over to your car“ I don’t think so” Harry nods when you say that“ What kind of prom-posal would you like then?” This question though you don’t know how to answer. You’ve never thought of it. After all you only had a date to prom back in sophomore year when you dated Steven Matthews for about 4 months and everything went to shit before summer when he was going away to Italy with his family and kept saying that his heart wouldn’t be able to stand a long distance thing and you laughed, more like his boy hormones wouldn’t have let him not bang an Italian chick. Every other prom after, in fact every other dance, valentines, spring, halloween, pride week, football championship season, any dance, you’d gone with your friends, Harry included if he had not asked some girl or some girl had asked him, like the last 2 years when he got asked by 3 girls on Girls Choice Dance. But one thing was certain, even if he never told you, whoever he went with always knew that they’d have to share him with you, it’s what he always told them when you were not around, and it was the reason why Harry never went with the same girl to two dances. They never said yes to him when they knew of the whole “ M’also spending the night with y/n” situation that you were oblivious to.

You open your car and throw your books and bag in the back seat and turn to Harry to answer his question“ I don’t know. Something smaller? There’s no need to get the marching band to learn a song just so I can go to prom with someone. Also what’s up with roses?” you giggle and settle in your car. Harry is quick to lean down and press a kiss to your cheeks as he always does when you are about to get separated. And with always we mean always. He’s always kissing your cheek goodbye, even when you’re just going to freshen up in the ladies room for a brief moment. He kisses your cheek when he drops you off in your classroom door or at your house after a movie night.“ Something small” he repeats and you look at him confused “See ya, love!” he says and steps back, walking towards his car instead.

Later that night you hear the distinct tap of rocks hitting your window, not soon after Harry’s climbed up your balcony. It’s not like the rocks are some sort of ‘hey open up thing’ they are more like “get ready I’m coming up” message between you too. You had insisted on the rule after he’d climbed up to find you half naked and belting out to Maroon 5 in your room one night. Both of you were blushing intensely red and Harry had to hide a boner from you for the rest of the night.“ Yeh naked?” he asks“ No, you dork” you answer him rolling your eyes and closing your balcony door after him“ Ah, bummer” he says cheekily making you blush and you chuck a pillow at him. He laughs and sets his backpack to the side and then lets himself fall on your mattress, you’ve always liked the no frame thing, so having your bed on the floor allowed him to free fall on it every time without worrying so much about noise or breaking something. You followed suit and he opened his arms, pulling you closer to him, pressing his lips to your exposed shoulder. It was a movie night at your place tonight. You selected the movie and Harry opened his backpack to show the array of snacks he brought with him.

The movie was a bit boring and you found yourself yawning through it. Harry tapped on your shoulder, signalling you to turn around and face him, he knew that if you were sleepy you preferred to cuddle facing him, than to spoon. The sudden thought that if you listed the things Harry knows of you and have become habits between the two of you, you wonder if there’d be enough paper in the world. He knew your favourite shampoo and you knew his, and his fave gum, or what weird things he claims he always has to carry are - toothbrush and paste (in case he can’t get home), socks (for his feet are always cold) and bandaids (he says “I’m almost always with you, clumsy butt”). You’ve been best friends for so long, able to read each other like a book, and easily the only person that has seen all around any and every emotion the other has felt.“ Hey” he mumbles lowly pausing the movie.“ What?” you say half asleep, half awake.“ Wanted to ask yeh something real quick” he sits up, forcing you to do so as well seeing as you were engulfed in his arms. When he gets your attention he then proceeds to hold your hands in his and play with your knuckles. “Was wondering…”“ Yes?” you’re truly confused. Harry looks nervous, shy even, and you have no idea what. Your stomach becomes fuzzy, either cause he’s holding your hands or cause of the mood he’s set with this mysterious question. “ So yeh said you’d like a small prom-posal, right?” your heart skips a beat. He isn’t doing what you think he’s doing, is he?“ Harry-““ Wait, wait!” he shushes you and smiles “ Would yeh… Would yeh go t’prom with me” You giggle“ I thought we were already going together” you say “That was the plan. No date? Group prom…” you remind him of the plans your whole group of friends had made at the beginning of the month. He comes to kiss your forehead and nods“ Yeah, I know. But I wanted to ask yeh proper… I mean, we’re friends” he sounds a bit panicky as he says the words “but I want to be your date. We’ll go as friends, but… together?” He sighs and palms his forehead “ M’making no sense” you throw your head back laughing hysterically.“ No, no. I get it” The look on his face says ‘you do?’ and you nod at him. Sure your heart aches at the mention over mention that you’re friends, just friends, but this… This prom-posal is the cutest thing and it warms you all over. “ I’ll go to prom-“ No wait! uh fuck I forgot!” he interrupts you and leans back, letting go of one of your hands to turn to his backpack as he pulls out a small 5 flower arrangement from it. You gasp. They are so pretty, the most beautiful tulips you’ve seen. he hands them to you and smiles. There’s a small note attached to the flowers and you flip it to read it. ‘Something small… Prom? -H’“ Ok, you can answer now” he smiles cheekily and you giggle pushing at his chest“ Dork!”“ M’your dork!” he shouts before engulfing you in his arms once more. You mumble a quiet yes against his chest as you hug and when he pulls apart and looks down at you, it’s like time’s stopped once more. His nose and yours bump and your eyes battle with each other. Like every other time this has happened this week, this month even, one of you end up looking away or saying something, causing your faces to pull away, and forcing you both to continue with whatever was happening. You sit in your bed and smell the flowers. Tulips are one of your fave type of flowers, and it was really thoughtful of Harry to do that, and specially to not bring roses.“ Are you staying the night?” you ask him after a bit of silence and some more cuddling. Harry sighs and stretches before slowly getting up.“ Can’t. Promised me mum I’d be back after the movie was over” he says and smiles at you and giving you a kiss on the cheek before walking over to your balcony to climb back down. It’s a bummer that he can stay and chill for a little bit but you’ll see him tomorrow anyways, and surely every day before that. “ Let me know what colour dress yeh are wearing” he says as he’s about to leave. “Goodbye my love. Try not to miss me too much” he jokes and turns around“ Harry wait!” you scream after him and he stops in his tracks.“ Miss me already?” you roll your eyes.“Can I have the skittles, doofus?” he laughs and opens his backpack, quickly tossing you the bag of candy you like so much. “Kay, be gone now” he places a hand over his heart, acting like he’s offended and you grimace at him “yikes. Thank God you’re not applying for acting school”“ Wow, ok. That hurt” he laughs as he climbs down “love you!”“ Love you back!” you screamed, and neither knew that the other meant it so much.

Weeks had passed and still no such luck with Harry’s university letter. He’d already cried on your shoulder and punched everything at the gym a hundred times, but Harry was a happy lad and worked his hardest to get back up after his meltdown over his top choice dream college not giving him any replies. He always joked that he was a lot happier about the fact that high school was ending, once and for all. And high school ending meant prom.

Soon the big night came. There were butterflies in your tummy while you got ready in your room. Your friends were already on their way to prom but Harry promised to pick you up, in good ‘you’re my date’ fashion. Your mom already gushed at how cute you and Harry would look before even getting to see how cute you guys actually looked on prom night, but she claimed she just knew that you’d both look amazing, specially together.

You twirled around in front of the mirror. The dress was wonderful and it took you ages to decide on which one, much to Harry’s annoyance - “Y/N yeh need t’pick something. I need t’know the colour!” he kept texting you - but thankfully you had picked the right one. The soft pastel gown looked good on your skin, fit like a glove, and had an amazing and comfortable cut. A medium dip showing your back, soft lace covering your chest and small details all around, and the skirt fell softly to the ground.“ Y/N! Harry’s here, come down for pictures!!” your mom yelled up the stairs and you gathered your things ready to go have a fun night.

Coming down the stairs you were left breathless at the sight of Harry. He had trimmed his curls, and sported a really nice sleek black suit with details in white on the edges, and a sleek black dress shirt. And you weren’t the only one that had no words, it was obvious as Harry stood stuck in place looking at you up and down and up and down again. He could not believe his eyes.“ Holy fuck”“ Harry! Language!”“ Sorry Mrs. Y/L/N, but you’ll agree with me your daughter is…” he reached over and held your hand pulling you to him slightly “The most beautiful thing I’ve seen…”“Aww!” your mom gushes and you pat yourself on the back for not adding too much blush, you knew that if you were going to spend the night with Harry, both of you dressed so nicely, you would most likely blush naturally all night long. “Ok! Picture time” a soft groan left your mouth but Harry laughed, pressing his lips to your cheek.

Your mom held you back for pictures for about 10 minutes, and for about 10 more after you put on the corsage Harry had brought for you, but finally you and Harry had made it to prom. Although you never believed much in prom, and it was a bit sad cause the year was coming to an end and soon everyone would part ways, you had to admit, it was the most fun prom you’ve ever been to. Harry stayed by your side all night, a hand at the small of your back when you walked and his fingers intertwined with yours when you danced, and you shared moments with all your friends, took countless photos and danced to your favourite songs until you had to put your hair up cause of how heated the dance floor got at some point. Harry kept biting his lip whenever you were close, or when you danced something really really close, at some point had even a bit of a discussion with Niall over who’s date was the prettiest.“Mate, shut up. Y/N is the hottest, prettiest girl, in the block…” he’d say staring right at you “no questions asked” his eye drops in a wink and you blush once more.

You found yourself swaying softly from side to side with Harry some time after 10pm. There wasn’t a lot of people dancing, some decided to sit around and talk instead of dancing to a slow song, but Harry had insisted. Your hands wrapped round his neck and your chin rested on his shoulder, as you could feel the heat of his large hands pressed to your back through the opening of the dress, and his lips pressed to your shoulder over and over slowly coming up to your neck and coming back down, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “ Y/N” he murmurs and you hum back an answer “ I wanted to show you summat” he pulls away, causing you to step back as well. “ What is it?” he smiles cheekily and opens up his suit jacket reaching into the pocket hidden inside“ Well… It’s… Something small” he says and winks pulling out an envelope. You gasp recognising the sleek design you knew so well, and start to hop up and down.“ Oh my, oh my, oh my!” you take the envelope in your hand and start to rip it open, after all he’d promised he’d let you. You read over the words in silence. Dear Mister Harry Styles, we are pleased - there was nothing more you needed to read. You look up at Harry with the biggest smile on your face and he sighs a sigh of relief and smiles as well when he sees it. “You… You got in! We’re going”“ We’re going to London…” he finishes and hugs you tightly. You try your best not to let your tears escape and ruin your makeup while you whisper congratulations to Harry.“ I want to go with you” he murmurs but keeps you close to him in the embrace “I want us to go… together”“ We are Harry! We are!”“ No, I-I don’t mean like… together like we came to the prom.” he whispers and pulls apart, looking at you intensely and keeping his nose to yours. Your heart feels like it could burst in any second, you’re not sure you can take another one of these close-enough-to-kiss situations, and not jump in his arms. And Harry feels the same way. He’s been so close to kissing you for the past month, his patience breaking at the seams. He had held back for years and lately all he’s been thinking about is how to tell you that he loves you, not like he’s been saying for ages, but he really, really loves you. The moment he got the letter in the mail, he knew, he had to tell you before you left and he stayed behind, or before you both left if the odds were in his favour. He had to let you know, and now that he knew his nightmare -which was that his days with you this close would come to an end, and you’d leave and he’d stay and nothing would be the same- wouldn’t become a reality. Instead his dream was. Dream college, Dream girl. His hands come to hold your face in place “I… I want to ask you something small” you nod silently as one of your hands comes to play with his dress shirt over his chest. You’re both breathing erratically, the same way your heart is beating. But Harry never asks. Instead his patience comes to an end and he dips his head down, making his lips finally meet yours. The kiss is soft, and passionate at the same time. It feels like you’ve been waiting for snow for years and then you suddenly got it in July. It feels like warmth all over, and something familiar. It doesn’t feel like something small, because it was so long overdue, but it is perfect to every extent. The way his lips and yours move in sync, and your breathing patterns seem to align, and your hearts beat the same. “ I don’t know” you say when you pull apart, eyes closed and foreheads touching “I don’t know what the question was, but the answer is yes” you giggle giving him a quick peck to the lips. The sound of his laughter fills your ears and you keep dancing from side to side, the acceptance letter in your hand as you wrap yourself closer to his body.

Smooches- Iv. x

alsjdfhalskdjhf Again I want to get back to finishing requests so yes! I’m stock piling these, trying to get them done so I’ll be popping more during the week i think. I’ll try. If not I will after #BIM is over... IDK I TRIED.

Requests Closed, sorry :(Masterlist