#idk I have a lot of thoughts and frustrations rn

[celtigxr]

THE PINK DREAD - CH. 31 (Masterlist)

Chapter Summary: All gather in the Throne Room to hear Ser Vaemond Velaryon's petition. Never a dull day at the Red Keep. Word Count: 6874 CHAPTER WARNINGS: Show canon scene. Violence, gore, slut-shaming/misogyny, bit of angst, canon death, fat-shaming/fatphobia, bullying mention, depression/mental health mention. Lots of fun things.

Series tags: Aemond x Plus size!OfC, Aegon x Plus size!OfC, Celtigar!ofc, Plot with Smut, mdni 18+, Aemond End Game, Angst, Comedy, The Dragons Don't Dance, slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers.

Credits: Lace Banner by Aquazero, pearl divider by Pommecita

Notes: I'm BAAACCKK. Hope everyone had happy holidays and a great new year. Mine was adequate, nothing to report other than get a lil annoyed at the bf. But that was overshadowed by a band I listen to dming a happy new years. I won't say who, because I'm trying to manifest something rn, and I don't want to jinx it. but hint: 😴🚶🐕🐈 Now, this chapter still is around the time I was really struggling to write. Re reading it, it's not entirely as bad as I thought it was, but you might be able to tell where I was getting frustrated and losing my muse. Or not, idk, maybe I hid it well.

There was nothing more intimidating than the Iron Throne when it sat unoccupied. It was almost like the ghost of Aegon the Conqueror still lingered there when the current king did not, watching and judging his dynasty before him. Valeana wondered if this is what he imagined for his line of Fire and Blood; had he predicted his grandchildren, and great grandchildren to fight amongst themselves? Did he predict that his heir to be a woman, where a son with his name stood idly by? Did he predict that his legacy would be put into question?

Valeana also wondered if Targaryens would have ended up this way, had it been Visenya’s line that survived, and not her sister’s. Perhaps their people would not see them as weak, as they once thought of King Aenys.

“Though it is the great hope of this court that Lord Corlys Velaryon survive his wounds,” The Lord Hand spoke after the King had descended upon his throne of iron and war. “We gather here with the grim task of dealing with the succession of Driftmark.”

His words were not appreciated by those that suffered for this petition. Valeana stood by her family, who stood behind Alicent and her children. The Throne Room was not at full capacity, but the Lords of the Great Houses had gathered, some with their wives, some with their heirs. The Baratheons, the Starks, the Hightowers, The Arryns, the Lannisters, the Tyrells, the Tullys, the Greyjoys, even representatives from the Martells were present. The Realm knew what this moment meant – It was not just a petition over who would inherit Driftmark, it was a petition to prove or disprove that Rhaenyra’s three eldest were illegitimate. Bastards. It would not only take away Lucerys’ inheritance, but Jacaerys' and Joffrey’s. If that happened, the Realm may very want Rhaenyra to be removed as heir to the Throne as punishment for her carnal transgressions, and effectively move the line of succession onto Aegon the Elder, bypassing even her legitimate fair-haired sons she sired with Daemon. 

“The crown will now hear the petitions: Ser Vaemond of House Velaryon,” Otto stepped away, and all in the room watched with bated breath as Vaemond moved from the spot he stood next to his uncle’s wife and grandchildren and took his place at the foot of the dias. 

“My King,” he bowed, then looked upon Alicent and Otto. “My Queen, my Lord Hand.” His eyes return to Viserys, whose face was already set in stone, his lips thinned and already showing his disapproval. Alas, Vaemond’s confidence was bordering on delusion, and did not let that deter him in the slightest. Valeana took a step forward, putting herself just behind the backs of Aemond and Aegon, so she could have a better look. 

Aemond slightly turned to her, a silent look that communicated everything. He could not yet show his affections publicly – he had not taken the time to converse with Maris just yet to end their very public courtship (even if it had grown apparent that it was dwindling). Aegon, however, took pleasure in taking advantage of that fact, for when Valeana appeared at his side, he wove his arm around hers and laced her fingers with his own. 

Valeana wasn’t entirely sure what horror show she should dare to look at: Vaemond’s petition, Aemond’s fury, or her brother and father’s heated disapproval behind her. 

“The history of our noble houses extends beyond the Seven Kingdoms to the days of Old Valyria,” Vaemond began his speech, hands clasped in front of him as he not only spoke to his monarch, but to the audience, to the lords and ladies of Westeros. “For as long as House Targaryen has ruled the skies, House Velaryon has ruled the seas.” 

Not entirely true, Valeana mused. House Celtigar and House Velaryon ruled ceremoniously, while the latter was more naval and militant, the former was more in trade and piracy. Though that last bit was more of an unsavoury historical anecdote that her father will never acknowledge. 

“When the Doom fell on Valyria, House Targaryen, House Velaryon and House Celtigar became the last of their kind. Our forebears came to this land knowing that were they to fail, it would mean the end to their bloodlines and their name

“I have spent my entire life on Driftmark defending my uncle’s seat. I am Lord Corlys’ closest kin, his own blood. The true, unimpeachable blood of House Velaryon runs through my veins–”

“As it does in my sons, the offspring of Leanor Velaryon,” Rhaenyra spoke up, interrupting the knight without remorse. Her face was remarkably neutral despite the bite of her words, reminding everyone in the grand room of her sons’ birthrights. With eyes trained onto the floor ahead of her, she went on, “If you cared so much about your house’s blood, Ser Vaemond, you would not be so bold as to supplant its rightful heir.” She said this now looking at him directly, and Valeana could only watch, enraptured and captivated by her strength and conviction. “No, you only speak for yourself, and for your own ambition.” 

“You have a chance to make your own petition, Princess Rhaenyra,” Otto interrupted, overlapping the princess’ words. “Do Ser Vaemond the courtesy of allowing his to be heard.”

King Viserys was rubbing his eyelids, already tired and weary. Valeana watched his face carefully as Vaemond continued his speech, claiming that Rhaenyra did not know a thing about Velaryon blood. Eyes darted around the room, as she watched Jacaerys catch Aemond’s eye, and Lucerys watched Vaemond with contempt. Daeron looked impossibly uncomfortable, eyes flickering around to everyone to gouge how he should react. And Aegon… Aegon simply shuffled in his spot, free hand moving to scratch his jaw. 

“This is bloody torture,” she heard him whisper. The only thing she could do was give his hand a squeeze in response and he gently squeezed back, rubbing his thumb over the back of her palm. 

When it was Rhaenyra’s turn to petition, her words were cut short when the King placed up his hand to halt her. 

“I must admit my confusion,” his words were laced with exhaustion, but with an underlying strength of a king. He had been patient, polite and courteous as he allowed Ser Vaemond to speak, since he did come all this way to do so. But now it was his turn, and he intended to speak on behalf of his daughter and Lord Corlys, the latter of which could not speak on his own behalf. “On why petitions are being heard over a settled succession.”

His statement was met with a second of strained silence before he continued, moving his head around the crowd before settling on his cousin. “The only one present who might offer keener insight into Lord Corlys’ wishes is the Princess Rhaenys.” 

“Indeed, your grace,” The Queen Who Never Was spoke once everyone had settled their attention onto her. Her eyes flickered from Vaemond to Rhaenyra, then she moved over to place herself at the foot of the dias, before the Throne that in another life, would have been hers. 

“It was ever my husband’s will that Driftmark pass through Ser Leanor, to his trueborn son… Lucerys Velaryon. His mind never changed, nor did my support of him.” 

Rhaenys’ confession garnered a group reaction of surprise. It was under the assumption that the older princess had always disapproved of Rhaenyra the moment each son she birthed looked nothing like hers, and the circumstances of Leanor’s death seemed to put a rift between the like-minded princesses. Though it now seemed that bygones had become bygones. 

“As a matter of fact, the Princess Rhaenyra has just informed me of her desire for her son, Luke, to marry Lord Corlys’ granddaughter, Rhaena… A proposal to which I heartily agree.” 

Hushed chatter befell the Throne Room. Rhaena and Luke shared a look with each other, subtle smiles upon their youthful places. This development certainly put a wedge in Ser Vaemond’s petition. He cried about blood purity, and yet here the solution laid plainly in front of the Kingdom. For those who believed that Luke was a bastard, the seat of Driftmark would no longer belong to the Velaryons in name only. Rhaena held that blood from her mother, and what's more, their children would be dragonriders, with their matching Targaryen blood between them. 

Valeana was quick to notice Vaemond’s displeasure and shock. 

“Well…” Viserys lifted his hand dismissively, “The matter is settled. Again. I hereby reaffirm Prince Lucerys of House Velaryon as heir to Driftmark, the Driftwood Throne, and the next Lord of the Tides.”

Just when people believed matters were settled, and the chatter started up again, Vaemond stepped forward after Rhaenys stepped back. “You break law and centuries of tradition, to install your daughter as heir. Yet you dare tell me who deserves to inherit the name Velaryon–No,” he shook his head minutely. “I will not allow it.”

The King furrowed his brow, mouth popping open at the man’s gall. “Allow it? Do not forget yourself, Vaemond.”

This is where things had taken a turn for the worst. When Vaemond shook with anger, Valeana knew that all sense was lost. At the shout of “That!”, she startled next to the princes. Aegon turned to her slightly amused, and Aemond had moved closer to her until their shoulders touched. 

Vaemond pointed viciously at Lucerys, who surprisingly shrunk under the angered man. “Is no true Velaryon, and certainly, no cousin of mine.”

“Go to your chambers,” Rhaenyra whipped her head to her son, who also vibrated with emotion, lip curling over his teeth as if he wished to lash out on his own behalf. Then she turned to Vaemond, “You have said enough.”

Lucerys didn’t move, but his step father still kept a hand on his shoulder. 

“Lucerys is my trueborn grandson,” The King spoke lowly. “And you are no more than the son of the second son of Driftmark.”

“You may run your house as you see fit,” Vaemond bit back. Valeana held her breath, finding herself squeezing Aegon’s hand. “But you will not decide the future of mine. My house survived the Doom, and a thousand tribulations besides. And gods be damned,” He swiveled back around to glare at the boy again, as if he were the reason for all his troubles, and not the adults that surrounded him. “I will not see it ended on the account of this–” His lips folded in between his teeth, and the air in the room stilled. Then as the slow seconds went by, Vaemond’s face relaxed, as if he could lose no more than he already had.

“Her children… are BASTARDS!”

“Seven Hells,” Valeana breathed out. The entire room was filled with loud murmurs, the King himself leaned forward on the Throne, his anger building in his chest, as weak as it was. 

“Oh, this is turning out to be quite the show,” Aegon whispered, his words laced with mirth.

A horror show. 

A very horrific, bloody show. 

“And she is,” Vaemond continued, punctuating every word as he burned his eyes onto Rhaenyra, then Daemon, and then finally the King. “A whore.”

The chorus of gasps filled the Throne Room. Everyone paced around, looking at each other in disbelief. Valeana glanced up at Aemond and saw his smirk, no different to Aegon’s. She knew of the princes’ animosity towards their half sister, who coveted all their father’s love, but as a woman, she could not help but feel disgusted by their reactions. With one glance of Helaena, she was relieved to see that she did not approve either, and when the two princes noticed their disapproval, their smirks dropped. At the very least Daeron had the decency to look scandalized, regardless of what his opinions were of Rhaenyra. 

The king ascended from his throne, his cane forgotten as he reached into his cloak and pulled out the cat’s claw dagger that was always strapped to him. 

“I will have your tongue for that–”

Valyrian steel sung in the air, swiftly and without mercy. The sound of blade cutting through flesh and bone dirtied Valeana’s ears, and the sight of Vaemond’s nearly headless body slumping on the floor now seared into her mind like a brand. Never before in her life had she seen such violence. Not even her fall down the stairs could compare. She had thought she would be impervious to such displays, having seen her own bone out of her flesh, and then watch her leg rot away before it was severed off with a saw. Though that was nothing in comparison to seeing a man’s head chopped off from his cheekbones, leaving his jaw and tongue atop what remained of his head. 

Helaena had turned away with her hands placed upon the sides of her head, her mother Alicent on her protectively to shield her from the gore. Daeron’s eyes widened in shock and horror, his hand flying to the sword on his belt as if it was muscle memory. Behind Valeana, Shyla and Floris both screamed, flying into the chest of Bartimos and their mother, with Clement shielding them from it. Arthor merely stood agape, the first time he, too, ever saw such an act. 

Valeana had jumped away, retching her hand out of Aegon’s in the pursuit to put herself as far away from the corpse as possible. It was Aemond who moved in front of her, hand upon her arm to keep her behind him, whilst Aegon stood like a statue, lips pulled into a frown and eyebrows up to his hairline, staring at Vaemond’s lifeless body as if he could not believe what he had just witnessed, what he was actively staring at. 

“He can keep his tongue,” Daemon stood there, hand placed on the pommel of Dark Sister. 

“Disarm him!” The Lord Hand shouted, the Kingsguard poised to attack.  

“No need,” the Rogue Prince replied casually, using the ends of his black tunic to wipe the blood off his sword and sheath it back into its scabbard.

Valeana tore her eyes away at last, blinking away rapidly, as if that would rid her of the image. It was then she brought her attention to where her hands had found rest. She gripped onto Aemond’s sleeve, both of her forearms caging his arm to her chest like a shield or a life preserver. 

“Valeana,” Clement’s presence loomed over her shoulder, his large hand firmly on her bicep. 

Valeana followed Aemond’s arm until she reached his face. He stared at her with a wide eye and a gritted jaw. His fingers flexed at her own sleeve, not wanting to let go either, but they were not in the privacy of their library. It took all her courage to let him go from her vice and allow Clement to pull her into his orbit. 

But when Valeana tore her eyes from Aemond, she landed them on Aegon, who saw the whole thing. His face was crestfallen, but only for a moment before his features pulled into a scowl, eyes glaring up at his younger brother. 

The petition had inevitably delayed the anticipated dinner of the Valyrian Houses, of which Vaemond had been invited to, mostly out of respect. It would be pushed to the next evening, as everyone was collectively in a state of shock and displacement. 

Valeana longed for solitude, she wished to be tucked in the reading nook of the late Aemma Arryn’s library, or laying in a nest of cushions and furs on the secret platform amongst the cliffs. Though for now, she settled on her bed chambers. Shyla was absent, she seemed to disappear after the Throne Room, along with Daeron it seemed. She was particularly distressed and the prince was concerned for her, leaving poor young Floris in the wind. Gods, Borros Baratheon is going to absolutely loathe the Celtigars after this Conclave was over with. 

Valeana was sitting cross legged in the middle of her bed, embroidering an image of a milkweed plant on a dark grey canvas. She intended to give the loop to Helaena as a thank you for her part last night. It was still such a bizarre recollection, that now felt like it was eons ago. Seeing a man’s head lopped off from the middle would do that to someone. 

Still, she wove every memory she made that night into the fabric of her mind. From the moment she saw Aemond splayed on the chair at the table, to that very morning when the warm orange glow of the dawn reflected against the silver tresses of his hair and pearlescent complexion of his skin. Valeana had woken up before him, and she took that privilege gently, savouring every moment. 

Aemond had tucked her under his arm at some point, and she was nestled on his upper arm, hand slayed on his chest while his nose nestled in the crown of her hair. They were both lying on their sides, legs tangled with each other, his hand resting on her hip and thigh. With gentle fingers, she traced the lines of his jaw, his nose, his scar, the gnarl frame of his sapphire eye, and brow, and then his lips that were parted as he breathed gently. Valeana noted how the skin around his perfect lid was red, the corner had a little sandy crust as if his eye had been tearing up during the night. 

With boldness, her hands moved southward, running along the muscles of his chest and stomach, humming in satisfaction at the warmth and feel of his body. It was art, truly; every ridge and curve, every bone and muscle, expertly carved by the Smith himself, designed in the likeness of the Warrior. 

Aemond roused from his sleep when her fingers trailed over the area below his belly button. He blinked away the sand from his good eye and gave a soft, grumbly hum. 

“Still not convinced I am a man?” He questioned softly with a hoarse, sleepy tone before his hand moved to her wrist and guided her to the crotch of his breeches. Valeana gave a soft gasp, or more of a hitch in her throat. She could feel him through the fabric and while he was soft, the muscle twitched at the contact. 

“Aemond–” He interrupted her with a peck on her lips, moving his hand up to the curve of her jaw to keep her there, so he could stare into her eyes. And that is where they remained until there was a knock on the library door, and Helaena’s gentle voice reminded them it was time. 

Valeana sighed contently down at her embroidery. Basking in the perfect evening and the perfect morning was enough to drown out the macabre events of that midday. Now the image of Aemond’s hardened body and Aegon’s thick cock permated her mind, creating a warm stir in her core. Alas, she was still bleeding, and she was not going to risk getting blood under her fingernails and all over her sheets to satiate her carnal hunger. Besides, there was a knock on the door, effectively ending her lewd thoughts. Clearing her throat, she called out: “come in.”

Clement entered the room, closing the door behind him as he did, “How are you doing?”

She offered him a half shrug, “Fine, I suppose.” 

Her brother took a seat at the edge of her bed, his body twisted so he rested his knee on the mattress, where he could look at her properly. “You’re doing remarkably well for someone who just witnessed their first execution.” 

“I do well with gore, I suppose. Finding severed feet on the beach on a regular basis could desensitize you to it,” her jest came out awfully stoic, as if she was serious. Though Valeana tended to joke when she was on the verge of anxiousness or sadness, if she wasn’t already thrown into the maelstrom of a fit. 

“And watching yours decay whilst attached to your body,” Clement added, his dark humour similar to her own. 

“Hm, that too. Perhaps the Stranger’s mark on me still lingers.” 

He hummed in agreement, unserious in his consideration for the statement. But then his face fell, and Valeana geared herself up for the real reason why he was there in her room. 

“Valeana…” He looked down on the bed, where his hand laid flat. He drummed his fingers on the duvet, like he was stalling so he could find the right words, or to rein in his censure. “I feel like you have become a stranger since we arrived at King’s Landing. You have been pulling yourself away every day from our family…and I can’t help but believe it is because of the princes.” 

Valeana leaned back into her headboard with a sigh, her loop forgotten in her lap. “Clement, I have been a stranger to this family for years…” Her eyes drifted over to the balcony. The Hydrangeas that Aemond left her were now placed in a vase next to her bed. 

“Not to me,” he shook his head vehemently. “We are full blooded siblings, Valeana. You and I have a bond that cannot be separated.”

Val tilted her head at him, a single eyebrow raised, “Clement, for half my life we were separated. I was here, and you were on the Isle with Ursula and Arthor. I am twenty, and yet I’ve only ever spent half my life with you, brother, and during that time I spent the better part of it locked in my rooms, despondent and longing for death.” 

Clement let his head sag at that, then raked his fingers through his short silver hair. He did not like dwelling on that dark part of her past, it still made him feel like a failure of a brother that he was not there for her when it happened, nor was he able to coax her out of the abyss in the aftermath. He reached out then, placing a hand on the ankle of her prosthetic, and although physically she could not feel it, the phantom of his touch tickled in the back of her mind as if she could. 

“You are the closest thing I have to mother, you know,” he said quietly, thumb moving along the ball joint. “I might have lost her, but I gained a sister in her stead, in her very image. I vowed over her grave that I would protect you, and I have failed thus far… I do not wish to continue that path any longer.”

When Valeana felt her eyes begin to water, she shut them immediately and bowed her head till her chin laid on her sternum, “Clement–”

“I saw you,” he said a bit forcefully. “You held Aegon’s hand one moment, and then clung to Aemond the next. Whatever it is you are doing, you must know it will end in heartbreak. Please, for your sake, sister, let them go… Jacaerys is an honourable man, who can offer you a great future–”

“I do not love him,” the words came out before she was able to filter them. 

Clement furrowed his brow as he tilted his head at her disbelievingly, “Then who is it you love? Aemond the Blackhearted or Aegon the Whoremongerer?” 

Sorrow was quickly being pulled into frustration. Valeana shook her head, “You only know the princes by their reputation, you do not know their character, the way they are with me–”

Clement pulled away, scoffing loudly, “I know Aemond is the cause of your first heartbreak, the reason why you walk with a wooden leg, and I know Aegon is the cause of your self hatred and the reason why you hide yourself from the world. This is all I need to know… So excuse me if I cannot fathom why you wish to consort with either of them, let alone harbour feelings.”

Valeana took a steady breath through her lips, her eyes closed to ground herself in the darkness behind her lids. “They have both reconciled with me.”

“Oh, they have, have they? When will they seek out father’s forgiveness then?” His question took her off guard. “Father was just as hurt as you were. He ended his friendship with the King over it… let go of his position on the Small Council, and left King’s Landing. Do not think you are the only victim here, sister.” 

“Please leave, Clement,” she ran her fingers over her eyes, where a headache was starting to bloom.

“I will not. I am not going to let you ignore the truth, Valeana… You have been causing an immense amount of stress on not only Ursula and father, but our sisters and brother as well. Everything has been revolving around your scandals, your love life, and it has put poor Shyla and Floris on the backburner. Floris, the poor thing, weeps at not being married still at her age. How do you think she feels seeing her step sister being the centre of attention? To have this many men flock to you and not her?”

“Floris,” she nearly yelled her name. “Floris is the reason why people whisper about me! Her insecurities are not my bloody problem, Clement! She could have been married off years ago, but she lets her pride and narcissism get in the way of it.

“She envies me, that is the truth of it. It’s always been like that – do you even notice the comments she makes of me? Floris is just as terrible as Aegon, Jacaerys and Lucerys was to me, even worse because we are family! It has been like that my entire fucking life with that woman… And you, father, mother, Arthor, and Shyla choose to ignore her belittling comments about my figure, because of what, Clement? Because you do not wish to cause strife among family? To choose sides? Or is it because you all believe her? You all agree I’m too fucking fat, but unlike Floris you keep your opinion behind your buttoned lips and avoidant eyes?”

Valeana did not give him room to respond, if he had any intention to, if he had any strength to. She pulled herself from her bed, embroidery loop forgotten, and slipped her feet into her shoes. Then, she bent down and secured the shoe’s strap around her wooden ankle, mindful to not run off on insecure shoes like last time.

“Where are you going?” 

“Since you refuse to leave, I will,” she marches over the door, and pulls it open with a violet jerk. 

“And which prince will you flock to?” He is standing up now, looking at her retreating back.

She paused in the threshold, her hand flexing on the handle of the door. “Neither,” she replied flatly, then slammed the door on him. 

When Valeana left her family’s wing, she had spotted Ellyn and Wylla walking in the gardens arm in arm from the loggia above. She fled to find some corner of the Keep for solitude, but when she saw them, she craved friendship more. They were whispering about something, giving each other looks that Valeana could not quite make out from where she stood. When she called out for them, they looked up, completely startled. Their bodies pulled away from each other as if they were caught committing a crime. 

Valeana tried not to think too much about it, especially since her thoughts were already at full capacity. Though as they sat in the grass, underneath a cherry blossom tree, away from courtiers and servants, Valeana couldn’t help but feel suddenly paranoid. The two were sharing looks with each other that she could not decipher, and she couldn’t help but wonder if they had been talking about her. 

Eyeing them warily, she decided to test the waters, “You two seem quiet.”

They looked at her slightly surprised, with Ellyn the first to speak, “Sorry… That nasty business in the Throne Room, it… it was just not expected.”

Wylla hummed in agreement, “I’ve seen a few executions, done by my father… Never seen anything so savage, however.” 

Valeana nodded, still unconvinced. Did they see her cling to Aemond after it happened? It was possible, though she was behind the Targaryen princes at the time, and she was fairly certain that people were more preoccupied by Ser Vaemond’s scalp rolling around the floor. 

Narrowing her eyes, she decided to press further, a little more boldly, “Are there any more whispers about me?” At their collective confusion, she added, “Only because you two seem quieter than usual, and I’m starting to wonder if you’ve learned something unsavoury that I should be concerned about.” 

Ellyn’s cheeks went pink, her eyes darting from Wylla, to the grass she was picking and peeling. They both shook their heads and cleared their throats. 

This time, Wylla answered, seeming genuine.  “No, nothing new. Only that bets have been challenged now that Jacaerys is in the running for your hand.”

Valeana rolled her eyes, “He isn’t. It was simply a brief moment in order to appease our parents.”

Ellyn raised an eyebrow mockingly, “So there we are back to two princes?”

Wylla tilted her head, “Or just one? I saw you and Aegon holding hands in the Throne Room.” 

“Is that all you saw?” They both looked genuinely confused. It was a bit of a relief, at least she knew they weren’t gossiping about her clinging to both Aegon and Aemond so publicly and judging her for it. As of right now, Aemond and hers reconciliation was not public knowledge; as far as the court is concerned, he was still courting Maris, and it was only the whispers that breathed life into the rumour of him yearning for Valeana. It was…  true, and well observed, but Valeana knew better to encourage the truth. Aemond needed to gently rid himself of Maris Baratheon, now more than ever. Having noticed how Shyla was slowly usurping Daeron Targaryen from Floris Baratheon, the tensions between Celtigars and Baratheons were becoming very tense, and it did not bode well for Valean’a own precarious circumstance.

Wylla’s eyes narrowed, “What else was there to see, Valeana?”

Val’s eyes flickered to Ellyn, who stared at her expectedly. She trusted this Baratheon with her past with Aemond, her feelings for him, but she did not know Ellyn’s relationship with her sisters very well. Did she approve of Maris’ match with him, or merely tolerated it? Would she choose Valeana or her sister? And the issue with young Floris and Shyla was a whole other added problem. The last thing Val wanted was to put Ellyn in a position of choosing between friendship and family. 

After kneading her lip with her teeth in thought, Valeana tentatively asked: “Ellyn… Is Maris… quite fond of Aemond?”

Ellyn seemed quite taken back by the question, but otherwise she appeared almost like she was harbouring knowledge she had yet to share. With a great sigh, the brunette nodded remorsefully, “She is. I’ve never seen her quite smitten but… She seems a bit agitated lately. Ever since the Hightower dinner, which…I know you’ve told me about. Maris has given me her own version of it, as did Daeron when he visited Floris one afternoon. My sister was quite affronted. Her intelligence is her biggest pride.”

“So suffice to say she isn’t my biggest fan.”

Ellyn huffed a soft laugh, “An understatement really. Um, she has also noticed… Aemond has become distant with her, and she has deduced it may be your doing. From what I overheard from her and Cassandra yesterday, your step-sister has been insinuating that you’ve been trying to seduce him.” 

Valeana sighed, rubbing the spot between her eyebrow and nose, “Of course she’s doing that. I somehow wonder if my beloved step sister has a plan, or she is simply lying freely, trying to see what people will believe and if it will ruin my character.” 

“I am surprised you aren’t trying to seduce him,” Wylla admitted thoughtfully, regarding Ellyn’s statement, “Given what you’ve told us. Didn’t you want him back? Or…has Prince Aegon snuffed that flame?” 

Valeana has done nothing but disprove the whispers about her and Aegon, particularly after the Hightower dinner when they publicized their (fake) courtship just to make Aemond jealous. It worked, though faster than she anticipated, and now she gathered how confused her two new friends probably were, given how much she had not shared with them since their last conversation about Val’s lovelife. The context between that drunken night to the present had not been divulged to them, and that was not just because she simply hadn’t the opportunity, but because she wasn’t accustomed to sharing vulnerable secrets. Valeana never actually had friends she could trust, she painfully realized; not since Aemond, and look how that turned out. 

She glanced around them, making sure they were very much alone. They had trailed far from the path, hidden in the grassy knolls, underneath the cherry blossom tree, surrounded by hydrangea bushes of various colours. The bushes and florals do a good job at muffling their voices as well as the noises of the world outside of their little sanctuary.

Licking her dry lips, Valeana geared herself to confess her sins, hoping that they would not judge her too harshly for her weaknesses. Hoping that Ellyn would at most be impartial to Valeana’s hand at effectively ruining Maris’ chance at a royal betrothal. 

“There is much I should– no, need to tell you. So much has happened…I do not know where to begin.”

Ellyn reached out and patted her arm, “Start from the beginning then?” 

With a harrowing sigh, Valeana nodded and began her complicated, long tale. She tripped over her words and backtracked when she remembered information that added more context, but she recounted everything. From the moment Aemond pulled her drunken self out of the Throne room, to her eve spent with Aemond in Queen Aemma’s old quarters. Yes, she even told them of Aemond’s apology on Maiden’s Day eve. Valeana even admitted to Aemond ravishing her tits that drunken night in the passageways, the morning before the Hightower supper. Even told them about the night at the secret terrace with Aegon. She also mentioned how she lost her maidenhead to a bloody horse, which was her attempt at humour and alleviating the tense conversation. 

In the end, her fingers were pressed in the corners of her eyes, head bowed over her crossed legs in exhaustion. Her head felt dull and heavy from a steady headache, one that began with Clement earlier. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she confessed defeatedly. “This is all so new to me… All my life, I was prepared to either be a spinster, a septa, or a despondent wife to a lord that did not care for me. I never even entertained the idea that a man might… desire me at all, let alone two.” It was addicting, she admitted to herself. Selfishly she thought perhaps she could have them both, like Catelyn Redwyne’s story, but she knew that was impossible…Aemond and Aegon would never share her. They would spend the entire time trying to lay claim on her, like two opposing conquerors. 

Wylla’s hand patted her knee comfortingly, “Your life never ceases to amaze me, Valeana. Most women would kill to be in your position.”

“I am not one of those women,” Ellyn commented good naturedly. “Though I admit that it is a privilege to be fought over by two princes of the Realm.”

Valeana pulled her hands from her eyes and blinked tiredly at both of them, “What would you two do if you were in my position?”

“Choose neither and become a Septa,” Ellyn shrugged dismissively, but at Valeana’s pointed look, she sighed. “Honestly, I do not know. I suppose I would try to figure out who I could not live without.” 

Wylla nodded her agreement, “You will be spending the rest of your life with this man… I personally don’t think it is disgraceful to explore who you are compatible with, both emotionally and physically. Most of us do not get the leisure of testing the waters before we are thrown in.” 

Val nodded, because she had no choice but to agree. It still did nothing to ease her stresses, though. “The problem is that my decision will be at the expense of the other’s pain. And I do not wish to cause anyone pain… Not even your sister, Ellyn. Even if – and forgive me for saying so – even if she is a pretentious bitch.” 

Ellyn huffed, shaking her head, “Oh, do not worry, I don’t take offense to that. Maris loves to call me stupid whenever she gets a chance, so she deserves the insult.” Suddenly the brunette looked down at her hands for a moment, brow furrowed as if she was in a battle with her own thoughts. “I love my sisters, truly… I wish to see them contented. Though… I do not believe that the princes would ever give them the happiness they hope to have with them. I think Maris and our Floris both are blinded by their titles, of the little fairy tale of becoming princesses rather than actually understanding the gravity of it all.

“I saw immediately that Daeron is far too self-centered to care for my little sister truly, and she is far too meek to stand up for herself. He never asks questions about her, and if she does not ask questions about him, then there is no conversation to be had. As for Maris, well…she likes the idea of Aemond. Of someone who actually enjoys her mind, and shares academic conversations, but,” Ellyn lifted her shoulders in a shrug, “As far as I’m aware, they have not shared anything deeper. Though, I dare say, with all my sister’s intelligence, she isn’t particularly educated in matters of the heart. If it wasn’t Aemond, any man that showed an interest to her intellect and mind would be enough to convince her that they are in love with her.” 

“That does not make me feel any better, Ellyn,” Valeana picked at the grass too, covering her skirts with it. 

“I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I’m trying poorly to convey something… What I mean is… Do not feel guilty about it. My sisters are not compatible with either Aemond or Daeron. Floris is young, beautiful, she will not suffer singledom long. However, I do worry about Maris, but not for reasons you think. Maris is not stable.” 

With a furrowed brow, Valeana peered at Ellyn carefully, “What do you mean?”

“She does not like being insulted, which you did, but she also sees Aemond's sudden distance from her as an insult too. Maris is calm most of the time but, when she feels like she has been aggrieved, or humiliated, she is… reactionary, for lack of a better word. And with your step sister’s ill counsel… I fear she plans on doing something explosive to get back at you. I just do not know what, or when, or if it’ll happen at all. I just know my sister… And since you are my friend, I only wish for you to be cautious. Perhaps do not make your affections for Aemond so obvious, until the sky is clear, until Maris cannot do anything.” 

Tentatively, Valeana gave a soft nod, “Thank you for telling me. Though now I have to deal with your sister on top of my own. Is there anyone else out there that is trying to sabotage me for reasons unknown, that I should be aware of?” She turned to Wylla, “Do you have a sister I do not know about that is plotting to kill me?”

Wylla softly laughed, “Gods, no. Well, I have a half sister. She is baseborn, but she is not here, anyway. Besides, we northerners have no interest in pretty white-haired princes with soft bellies or thin waists. We like our men towering, hairy, and smelling like a campfire.” 

Ellyn wrinkled her nose at that, but otherwise said nothing. 

Valeana hummed, lifting up her leg to rest her arm on her knee, “Your brother smells cedarwood and raw masculinity, which also smells a bit like roasted venison. It does things to me.”

“You still try to covet my brother even with two Targaryen princes at your beck and call?”

“Key word is try,” Valeana shook the grass from her skirt in exasperation. In total unseriousness, she continued, “Though he seems too preoccupied with Alysanne Blackwood, and I cannot compete with a woman who breaks horses and looks like she can kill a man with her thighs.” 

“And I am sure she has!” 

Their laughter pulled their outing to a lighter conversation about this or that, leaving the stress of courtships and family behind. Though despite the change, something dreadful settled in Valeana’s gut as Ellyn’s warning about Maris echoed in her mind like a bad omen. She couldn’t shake the feeling; it felt like she was an animal, sensing the impending doom of a large, disastrous storm. 

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO SNEAK PEAK Valeana flipped back over, only to see a shadow looming on the right side of the bed. Her heart leapt in her throat, momentarily gagging her as she jumped and gaped, a scream nearly escaping her lungs. His hand flew to her mouth.  “Shh, shh,” Aemond crouched down next to her bed, his grip over her mouth softening when he saw her shoulders cave. “It’s only me.” When he removed his hand from her mouth, she gave him a sharp whack on the shoulder, “Aemond, I swear to the old gods and the new, the next time you do that I’m going to throw you down a flight of stairs.” “Wouldn’t that be an interesting sight,” Said another, causing Valeana to jostle a second time. She and Aemond whirled their heads towards the door with wide and alarmed eyes. And there in the dim light she could make out the short wavy silver hair of Aegon. 

Notes: I hope that was worth the 2 week wait )x I still didn't do as much as I wanted in the last two weeks. Didn't realize how much I just needed to unplug during the holidays, what with work stress, among some other things and stuffs. Though the chapter I'm currently working on is nearly done. I just hope the one after doesn't take me just as long, otherwise I may need to do another two-week wait. Also I just wanted to point out...the amount of times I had to watch that Vaemond and dinner scene just to write this chapter, and the Fem!Aegon one shot was so absurd. It used to be my favourate episode, but now I can't even watch it again XD Anyway, once again, I hope everyone had good and safe holidays, <3

Tag: @queen-of-elves, @keylin1730, @anakilusmos, @weepingfashionwritingplaid, @sugutoad, @desireangel, @t0biasparabatai

( if you wish to be tagged for this story, just give me a reply! )

Please do not re post, redistribute or plagiarize my work. The only other place this story is posted on is ao3 under the same username.

[pissfizz]

Very frustrated!!!

[codgod]

i still feel like the money from the egg figures is gonna go to the eggmins, including lumi and shade and anyone else that has left/been fired [maybe with the exception of like, flippa and tilín’s original admins since they were only there for less than a month but who knows]

like i agree that the way quackity is going about things sucks, with his mindset being that because he doesn’t want to make promises he can’t keep he won’t say anything at all, but i don’t think it means the eggmins won’t be paid. i’d assume, based on what he’s said, that he’s waiting to see how much money the merch makes before he promises anyone any amount of money. which again. is dumb, because if that is the case he could still just Say That. but i don’t think it’s a baseless assumption at the very least

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[wooahaes]

Hiii!! I just wanted to check up on you. How are you feeling? Are you doing ok? I hope you are taking care of yourself and able to enjoy the holiday as much as you can. Thinking of you ❤️

hii lovely

life has kinda quieted down some? which is good and things are going okay when im not frustrated with the rest of my family (feels like im the only one whos rly... being a caretaker at all...) but im just kinda taking it one day at a time rn

ty for checking in <3 i hope u get to spend the holiday happily as well <3

[phagodyke]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

[kavehater]

I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way

[yrieso]

tonight i am thinking about how it really pisses me off when i tell people my dads deaf and a lot of people's immediate response is "im sorry" like bitch i said he's deaf not DEAD why do you feel the need to say im sorry. like really, why do you think you should apologize for that? huh?

[falafelluva]

; 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 - 𝐤. 𝐲𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐳 ✮

summary: long distance can be challenging, especially when a busy schedule is involved

warnings: idk, a sassy man, arguing??!:!:!

author’s note: my throat hurts so bad? why am I catching a cold rn. This is short bc pt 2 is still in the making, my bad🙏🔥 #thisisnotproofread

Kenan had been away for nearly six weeks, training at a football camp in Germany. The distance was harder than you’d anticipated, the loneliness pressing down on you more each day.

Late night calls were supposed to be your way of staying close, but they grew more and more tense as the days dragged on.

It was a Friday evening, and you had been waiting hours for Kenan’s call, watching the minutes tick by.

When your phone finally lit up with his name, you felt a rush of relief and excitement— until you picked up and heard the exhaustion in his voice.

“Hey,” he mumbled, barely loud enough to hear.

“Hii, I’ve missed you so much,” you replied, trying to keep your voice light, hoping to lift his spirits.

“Yeah… missed you too,” he said, his tone flat. It stung, and you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed.

“You sound exhausted. Are you okay?” you asked gently.

He sighed. “It’s just… a lot. Training is intense. I’m fine, though.”

Your heart sank a little, but you pressed on. “I get that. I just… I thought maybe we could talk for a bit. We haven’t really connected lately.”

“What are you talking about?” he replied sharply, a defensive edge creeping into his tone. “I told you, I’ve been busy. I can’t just drop everything every time you feel like yapping.”

His words stung, and you swallowed back the hurt. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just miss you, Kenan. It’s hard to feel close when you hardly have time to talk. I’m not trying to be an inconvenience”

He scoffed, a bitter tone creeping in. “Well, maybe you are. I’m here doing something important, and I don’t need you stressing me out even more.”

You felt your heart clench, his words hitting deeper than you’d expected. “So that’s how you feel? I’m just trying to keep us connected. But it feels like I’m the only one putting in any effort.”

“Maybe you should stop expecting so much from me,” he shot back. “You knew I’d be busy. It’s not my job to entertain you.”

The anger in his voice felt like a slap, and you took a shaky breath, feeling the frustration and hurt building up.

“Kenan, that’s really unfair. I just want to feel like I matter to you, even when things are busy.”

He let out a frustrated sigh on the other end of the line, the exhaustion heavy in his voice. “I told you, I just don’t have time for this right now. I don’t need another person making demands of me.”

A sharp pang of hurt shot through you, and your voice cracked as you tried to respond.

“I’m not making demands. I just… I want to be there for you, and I don’t know how to do that when you keep shutting me out.”

Silence hung between you both, thick and tense. You could hear him breathing, feel the weight of his hesitation, but no apology came.

Instead, he muttered, “You know what? Maybe this was a mistake. You’re just making everything harder.”

The words hit you like a punch, knocking the breath from your lungs. Before you could respond, the line went dead—The silence felt suffocating as you stared at your phone, the call screen fading out.

With shaky hands, you set your phone down, heart pounding as his last words replayed over and over.

Did he really mean it? Did he really think this was all a mistake?

As the reality of his words settled in, a hollow ache began to grow inside you. The uncertainty gnawed at you, leaving you hanging in the silence, wondering if this was the end—or just another obstacle.

[cookie-crumblr]

I miss professor reichsgraf

GN! Bad Student Reader x Professor OC!

Minors DNI

CW: GN! Reader, reader referred to as they/them, no body descriptions for reader, lots of swearing tbh lol, reader is RUDE (just because they’re sleepy! we still stan🥰) spanking, pet names for reader(good kitten, darling), Sub!Reader, reader has hair(not described just enough to grab), fingering (not specified which hole dw), nipple play, crying reader, tetro?, overstim, dubcon(no proper safeword), sado maso, p in hole, not proofread.

(IDK i hope it turned out okay, it doesn’t seem the way i want it, but i can’t tell rn if it’s just me T.T)

“You are, quite possibly the worst student i’ve ever had the misfortune of teaching.”

You mock him on the phone with your bestie.

“Stupid ass over qualified teacher.”

“Fur reaaaalll. my gods, what an asshole!” they respond.

“It’s too bad he’s so hot. What a waste.” You resume what you were doing and hold the phone between your ear and shoulder.

“I would tap, i wonder if he’s into that like teacher/student play…” they trail off.

“Ew. please don’t fantasize about my dickwad professor. At least with me around,” You feign gagging.

The next day in class you’re slouching, hoping to the gods that he just forgets you exist so that you can try and catch up on your assignments… But Fuck it’s so hard! You don’t have time for school work when you’re home, because you’re usually sleeping, after your two jobs. And all these pompous professors do is give homework!!! ALL OF THEM.

It’s the end of the ninety minute mark and you, along with everyone else, starts packing your things.

“Y/L/N. Stay behind a minute.” Professor Reichsgraf sighs, and tosses an empty cup into the trash can.

“Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg!” You groan, thankfully the room is loud enough that he might not of even—

“Gods, you’d swear I told you that you’re going to jail,” He laughs. He’s sat behind the desk a little slouched like normal, head in a hand, elbow on a stack of papers (probably so it’s more comfortable) you tsk out loud at your thoughts, before pretending to yawn.

What a class A assho-

“Have a seat,” he asks.

“This will take that long??” You sigh out frustratedly.

“Gods, you young peop—”

“Oh don’t you ‘young people these days’ Me, mister!”

“It’s Doctor.”

“Oooo big dif. Fuck off” You cross your arms and roll your eyes.

He rolls his own, “Just sit.”

With a *plop*! into the seat, you do.

The professor stands, his hand lazily traces a knot in his desk as he rounds the table and approaches you slowly. “I don’t usually do this…”

“Woah, Um isn’t there like a rule against—”

“What!?” He furrows his brow then massages it quickly between his finger and thumb. “No, i’m offering to tutor you,” He sighs in annoyance.

“Oh really?” You would still really like to at least pass… “Okay fine.”

“What? really? no deals needed?” He looks you over.

shrugging, you say, “I mean what are you offering?”

“Nope, it’s a done deal, you already signed the dotted line crossed your t’s and all that.” He steps ever closer, and leans on the table you’re sat at.

“When do we start?”

~

You’ve had a few sessions with your professor but nothing seems to be working, the information just isn’t sticking until…

“Bend over.” Reichsgraf growls, head in his hand in frustration.

“Excuse me?” Your brows raise in shock.

“Bend over my knee, right now. You aren’t learning this way.”

You think at first he’s lying. Just trying to make you uncomfortable or something, maybe a bee flew into his coffee this morning so he’s taking it out on you. You don’t know. But you do it. You get down, lay over his lap and wait.

His hand massages your rump, “Now what’s the answer to number five?”

“A?”

A hand comes down onto your flesh with a *Smack!*

“Ow!” You yelp! “What the fuck!?”

“What is the answer to number five? Don’t just guess.”

“Is it not A?” You ask, it looks right… Right?

*SMACK!”

“OW!!” You yelp again, louder this time, it stings so much more the second time!

“You know the answer.”

“C!” You suddenly remember something he said about it yesterday, and he’s right, you did know the answer!

“Good job, I’m impressed.” He isn’t lying, he really is. Only two spanks on the first time? Maybe he had been hoping for more though, to be honest.

It’s a unique way to have to learn like this, but with you, he’s happy to oblige. All the time spent being frustrated that you couldn’t commit even the simplest knowledge to memory, he can finally get rid of…

“Okay now six.”

“Do we have to do the whole assignment like this?”

“Yes. Six.”

You shout, “A!”

*Smack!*

“Shit! I mean B!” You wince.

“You guessed again. Read the answer, and tell me why it’s correct.”

“Do i have to? I got it right that time.”

Suddenly the hand on your rear moves to your clothed sex, he presses down hard and trails along the divide. A gnawing heat starts to grow in your lower half quickly.

“Hey! wait-!”

“We don’t have the time. what is the answer to seven?”

“D!”

“Good Kitten,” His baritone seems even deeper somehow, as he rubs you harder, your jeans are getting too hot to bare. “We need these off.” He tugs on your back belt loop.

“Yeah…” You shock yourself when you agree so readily. You stand to unbutton them and get them off, but he slaps your hands away and takes your pants off for you.

Your body gets thrown around until your bent over the desk and the wood’s digging into your hip bones.

“Professor-!”

A growl escapes his throat. his hair is messier than usual when you turn back to look, before he grabs yours and steers you forward.

His fingers enter you first, already setting a fast pace, he curls them and scissors them; all while pistoning so fast you feel like you’re already teetering on the edge. “Such a good kitten, you’re doing so good for me,” He hums deeply in his throat.

You whine and wriggle, until he tenses his grip in your hair and on your hip. His hand fans out over your skin and gropes you the entire way up to your chest, pressing a traveling dent into your stomach and over your ribs. Your brows peak, and your mouth hangs open.

“Seven.”

“SERIOUSLY???” You stomp, way to take you out of it.

*SLAP!* Your ass was sore from the earlier abuse, to be slapped now stings so brutally!!!

“F-fuck!!” You shake.

“Seven. Now.” His hand is raised and prepped to hit you again.

You shimmy and jump, “No, no more please!!”

*SLAP!*

“AHH!” You screech! “ummm,” You read the question rapidly through bleary eyes, “D! D! It’s D!!!” You shout and writhe in his grasp.

“I’m so proud of you, I knew you could do this,” He rubs something cooling on your ass cheek and it feels so much better!

“Oh thank you thank you oh my gods.” you let out so much air you feel dizzy. His cock starts to rub against you, making your dizzy spell last longer. it’s so hot and hard and.. LONG! Holy shit it’s so long! You’re gonna be speared to death on that thing! You drool at the anticipation! “Fuck me.” You say it in a long groan as an expression but also mean it very much.

“You deserve it, you’ve been doing so good,” Holy shit, his words strike some heavenly chord that opens your pearly gates wide for him, and he enters without resistance, taking his time to really appreciate your interior.

“Holy shit!” You can’t help the obscenities, they just fall from your lips naturally, you’re so surprised at all of this, at yourself for willingly doing it, at your hot teacher for wanting you in the first place, at so many things…. Most of all at how HOT his dick is like molten lava inside you and it feels fucking DIVINE.

“You’re such a good kitten,” He rubs you as you take his length.

His movements are calculated, every single one. No matter how fast they hit your spots like a master martial artist targeting pressure points. You aren’t getting a break from his assaults every strike is a critical blow. Even when he slows down his spongey head sweetly kisses those spots igniting obscene fires that don’t have time to burn out before being reignited fully.

You’re getting close, so painfully close to a volcanic eruption, your bubbling!

“Cum for me, darling” He leans down over your back, to whisper into your ear, his voice gravely and so low.

“AHH!!!” You scream out and your whole body goes rigid and convulses, his own cum shoots inside you and you take all of it.

“So good for me, you took me so well, darling…” His eyes practically have hearts in them.

[httpiastri]

JACKIE I AM UNWELL RN !!!

can we talk about how soft paul would be when he just wakes up?:(

imagine you wake up first and you go to the bathroom to wash your face and do all the things you need, a little distracted and lost in thought so you didn't realise when Paul got in ??!? his big arms around your waist:((( asking you why you're not in bed with him, his voice all sleepy and his curls all messy but so beautiful and he'd definitely start giving you lazy kisses on your neck and shoulder bc he wants all your attention and you're just there melting at every little thing he does 🫠

:(( paul :(((( you're out here doing god's work angie, loved this idea so much 😭

– paul is a heavy sleeper me thinks. i see him as someone who is pretty hard to wake up (he'll have to have several loud alarms in a row if he's sleeping alone just to make sure he actually does wake up lol), and who always dozes off again if there's a chance. he'll wake up, say just a few words but keep his eyes shut, and then fall asleep again, and you'll be wondering if he ever even woke up in the first place or if he just talked in his sleep 😭 thoughhh if he fell asleep next to you, and you're suddenly not there, then he'll subconsciously know that something is wrong and he'll wake up much quicker than usual

– oh and he's a cuddler in his sleep, 100%. if he's got you in his arms when you fall asleep, you won't be able to break free. if you go into bed after he's already fallen asleep, you'll still find yourself in his arms when you wake up. he loves to bury his face in your hair or in your skin. or if it's been a rough day/week or if he's just missed you a lot, you can expect to have him rest on top of you, head propped up on your chest as he holds one of your hands 🥺

– i think he might be a light snorer…. i just get that feeling? idk? not so much that it bothers you, but you just find it cute and coo over it :(

– overall, i think sleepy mornings with him would be so so cute. the softest, cutest and most pure version of him and he's all yours? you're so lucky 🫶

oh and i felt like writing just a little little blurb…… sorry not sorry 🤭

it's always hard to leave paul behind in bed, but not only because of his tight embrace around your body; it's almost painful to roll out of bed when the person you leave behind is him.

him and that sweet pout on his lips, the messy bed hair practically screaming at you to come brush your fingers through it, those rosy cheeks that you wish you could forever hold in your hands…

i'll be quick, you tell yourself, tiptoeing into the bathroom and quietly closing the door behind you. you hurry to brush your teeth, wash your face and do all of your other routines, but when you wipe the water off your face with a towel, you don't hear the door opening again. instead, the only sound that fills the room is your own squeal when you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist.

"paul!" you whine, dropping the towel and giving his forearm a smack. "christ, you really scared me!"

he only hums as a response, and it just frustrates you even more – but then, all of your anger disappears when you take in the sight in the mirror.

his chin is propped up on your shoulder, eyes shut and body bending down to meet your height. the feeling of his warm breath and bare chest against your skin sends a shiver down your spine, and the way he leans his head against yours makes you pout subconsciously.

"come back to bed," he mumbles, words slurred as he nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck.

"in just a minute," you lean forward slightly to grab a moisturizer out of your cabinet, the action triggering a groan to rumble from his chest. "i just have a few more things to do…"

he lets out a dismissive sound, shaking his head into your skin. "no, i want to go back now."

"you go back, then. i'll be right there." you twist off the lid off, taking some of the moisturizer onto your hands and massaging it into your skin. paul doesn't budge, though; he stays put, his hold around you tightening even further.

after a few seconds, his eyes slowly open and he lifts his head from you. the lack of contact immediately disappoints you, but just seconds later it's been replaced by his lips.

his kisses start behind your ear, slowly tracing down the side of you neck, not leaving even a single inch of skin unkissed. when he reaches your bare shoulder, his hands also begin to roam around your body and you can't help but squirm. "please, paul. that tickles," you say, doing your best to pretend like you don't love every second of it – but he can read you like the back of his hand. there's no way he'll stop now.

you leave your bottle without its lid on top of the sink, not caring anymore. he won.

"okay, oka–"

you don't even get to finish your word, because less than a second later, he's already pulled you back into bed and flopped down on top of you. "cuddle me, please?"

and how could you ever say no to him when he asks so nicely?

[transhuman-priestess]

Sorry for the random ask but you're one of the few people i see talking about this occasionally

It's honestly DISTRESSING how many usually smart and thoughtful blogs on this site have jumped on the ''It's okay to be shitty to transmascs'' bandwagon

People I've seen be mindful of community exclusionism in the past suddenly and almost GLEEFULLY pouncing on the chance to to rag on those awful cringey 'men's rights activists' (read: marginalized men discussing their marginalization)

They go on and on and on about how these 'transandrodorks' endlessly speak over women and are out to be the Biggest Victim Ever (and I'm sure it DOES happen here and there, there are shitty people in every group)

But the vast VAST majority of these people I've seen are just...transmascs venting on THEIR OWN BLOGS about how hurt and scared they are, how frustrated they are at being told how to define their own trauma and experiences, and then being harassed and dogpiled for speaking about it.

Some have been deleted, have had to move blogs, or have left Tumblr, and others are still being harassed!

I swear just a few months ago we were all rly upset at the harassment of trans people on Tumblr, but ig it's cool now?

Idk

Sorry for the long ask, it's just scary out here rn and we're tired.

Even if you don't answer this, Thank you for standing up for us. It's more appreciated than you know.

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

no its really fucked up and scary.

Just know that there's a whole lot of goodness out there, and that the loud bitter mean girls on tumblr are the minority. You're loved, nonny <3

[coffeegnomee]

have you seen the conversation between kab & zam from yesterday yet :? i'd be so curious to hear your take on the whole thing. i like that kab is someone who will have a conversation like that in the first place, and i'm really interested in the potential of her interacting with zam in ways that might force her to confront the assumptions she's made about lifesteal (both in a roleplay-style way and an understanding the people on the server way, but admittedly i mostly want meta-conflict...) so i was kinda delighted by it. and her revealing so much about said assumptions, her own thought processes, her blind spots, in an attempt to reveal very little actual information. bacon's "training" as a little microcosm of how she reacts to problems she can't predict or control. all in all she frustrates me but in a fun way here, i like being frustrated.

I got so invested and stayed up so late taking notes. I'm writing this before watching the rest of Zam's stream and Kab's stream from yesterday, basically just looking at the conversation itself. Because oh boy that was fascinating. What a creature. 

Overall, what I’ve gathered from Kab, is a massive tendency to radically prioritize her own personal experiences with a person (one on one, face to face) over observing them through other people’s eyes and seeing how they act to other people (like through watching streams s4 and 5 or just through yt videos) and especially over what other people’s opinions are of other people. 

So it was super fascinating for her to get so excited about Zam being a wealth of information, because she observed with her own eyes that he understands people. So she now can categorize Zam in this way.  

But idk how much of what Zam said about like Mapicc and Spoke will matter in her future interactions with them, given how she accepted it, but then minutes later would not take correction when she had her own opinions on Bacon that differed from Zam’s observations. 

So like, she only, practically, gained insight on Zam. That is the only flask she is filling rn. 

I saw a bunch of people wonder what Kab exactly learned from that conversation and idk how much any of yall have been keeping up with her streams, but Kab learned A LOT from that conversation. (I might pull everything she learned in a different post. It’s not super relevant here)

Like you don't understand how little she knows about Lifestealers. I know, it’s shocking given we all saw her in chat all of s4 and most of s5.

She went on Bacon’s stream (and her’s ig) a bit ago the day they turned the field purple and said she only followed Eclipse, it was the only arc she actually followed as it came out, and then she kind of stopped paying attention. Which is why she would not realize how wild it was to say “princezam! You could create world peace on lifesteal!” as if she didn’t understand the Joker arc was PrinceZam objecting to pb&j trying to bring world peace to lifesteal. No Clowpierce needed.

And like if she ONLY saw Zam in the Eclipse arc, lowkey she could conclude that he is spineless. She just never saw the shift we’ve been watching since Eclipse.

Now I have another theory, but I might be totally wrong in this, but in a potentially 2% chance universe Kab is playing around with the concept of player knowledge vs character knowledge. Like everything she knew from before Lifesteal is off limits and she can only use knowledge she gains since being in the discord and on the server itself. 

And in this case she would be embracing the purity of rp content to the max. 

In which case she would need Zam to spell out how the Joker arc influenced his pacifism arc or she can’t use that info. 

It is a completely overly charitable concept I think, but nonetheless interesting. I could go into a full on Kenadian joking that Omziscool has dementia arc. But instead of dementia she is secretly incredible at acting. Or I could conclude that it is what it looks like, and Kab simply doesn’t remember anything she learned before Lifesteal/never bothered to pay attention bc she was never going to get on this server anyway.

And anyway, she clearly is using previous knowledge about Clown, Ash, and Squiddo, and she uses OOC knowledge all the time, getting in discord vcs and asking questions about server plans and using that knowledge for herself (mane in her video, red and woogie being teamed in this convo, etc). So I don’t think it can be concluded to be character knowledge vs player. But I find the thought interesting. 

But that brings me back to my point about prioritizing the knowledge she gains through person to person interactions: she only can analyze Clown, Ash and Squiddo so well because she knows them in person so well. 

And she doesn’t have that with literally anyone else on the server. Not even Zam or Red. I can’t remember if she talked to anyone else for any meaningful period of time other than them before joining. But clearly, CAS are only the three she knows well enough to have a good take on their personalities. 

And it is a good take, she does analyze CAS in ways I would approve of. She does genuinely have a good understanding of their motivations and personalities. So she is capable of having good takes.

But as we saw in the convo, it doesn’t yet extend past them. 

So what this means is (rn imo) I think more conversations with Zam will prove extremely interesting, but unfortunately only realistically in terms of her understanding of him and not in her learning and growing in understanding of how lifesteal works and how other members work.

Like I would love to see a Spoke and Kab conversation. I have soo many theories on how Spoke would react. But she would not learn (and therefore agree with Zam's take) that he is the master manipulator until the arc was well past and done. He does nawt spill his secrets at all. Zam spills that. So (imo rn) even if she did have a convo with Spoke, that would give her one-on-one info but she would conclude that he is a bumbling moron who has no motivations and doesn't think past the present moment. Because that’s who he pretends to be. And she takes people for their literal words until they say otherwise.

BUT! Interestingly enough she does learn well. Something I noticed through her pov of the Bacon jumpings is that she was super caught up in how unfair it was and getting pissed off at Bacon because he didn't explain why he was jumping her randomly. Because she needs someone to say word for word why they are doing something in order for her to understand.

And I think we saw this in this convo, the more Zam told her word-for-word his mentality, the more she noted it and she asked follow up questions and clarifying questions and I think noted them down rightly (maybe not tho I haven’t watched yesterday’s stream) 

And earlier, if you watched her/bacon streams that day, that was the first time Bacon said word for word the difference between practicing on pvp legacy and why it differs from fights on lifesteal and why that matters. And so therefore why him jumping her is helpful, not pointless, as she kept saying over and over. And she acquiesced to his analysis. And could only reiterate that she asks he doesn't do it when she’s lagging. 

She didn’t sound like that to Zam in the convo, but that’s bc she was trying to hide that for manipulation purposes. Even if... Whatever. It doesn't matter that it was silly and didn’t do anything meaningful, that was her using manipulation and secrecy. 

Anyway, her main sticking point the first day Bacon jumped her was (9/21 ~1:00:00)  “This feels like the most inefficient way of training though. Cause he didn't tell me what to do he just started attacking me” She wants to be told what to do first so she can internalize it. She doesn't logic out a reason based on input, she needs to be told. 

This is why I think she will ultimately be okay, she just needs a shit load of conversations like this one with Zam. Though we will need to wait and see what she actually learns (like after the season is over), but in the meantime interesting conversations for sure. 

What she will hopefully learn is that Zam freely gives out general server information all the damn time, and is always willing to talk about people’s past seasons mentalities. He loves yapping analysis.

So if she ever tries to go into a conversation withOUT obvious sus and pointed questions like she keeps doing with Zam, maybe she'll lean that she doesn't need them for him. It’s like she’s trying so hard to sound so casual about asking questions but that is just NOT necessary with Zam. He will just tell you shit, that's who he is. 

But, she did pick up on that if she asks too much about Zam’s inner mentality about current arcs he clams right up. (even though, again, if she watched his streams in the past she should understand him.) But that doesn't stop her from pushing to learn

But he is sooo uncomfortable about talking about why he does stuff in the moment. Like Planet had to work so hard s4 to get Zam’s trust and he almost got to know Zam’s wormhole day motivations about making everyone hate him, and in hating him the server members would bond together which was a good thing. But Spoke interrupted and Planet never got to know. It is a workout to get Zam to actually leak his mentality, and his mentality is the only thing he really truly cares about. Everything else is just whatever. 

But she incorrectly thinks that flattery and apology will be the way to get him to open up.

But either way it is great bc Zam, and Bacon too tbh, freely give out advice about other server members and how lifesteal works. Because they understand that it is in everyone’s best interests if they learn how this server does work and how the players think because that can only help smooth things over and get good interactions. She just doesn’t realize how /genuine they are being in that moment and takes it more as them leaking super secret information. When they’re just like, 'please learn, i beg.'

In terms of confronting role-play style and how the server lives and exists. Kab made HUGE progress.

If you didn't watch until the end of her stream, Kab had initially planned to murder Zam at the end of that convo but changed her mind bc of what happened. 

Like she said in the flower field that she wanted to “do lore” with Zam to do before session and make him not trust her anymore. And in the end she reveals that "lore" was just murdering him.

She tends, like she did with the consequences arc, to plan shit out and then execute that plan. Bc she’s a scripted lore server girl. 

But in this conversation she, in real time, adjusted her plan based on the unscripted conversation that flowed from it. Which is huge news for lifesteal enjoyers. If she can learn to embrace this we will be eating well. And that can only come through practice.

From a PrinceZam analysis, we got to see him go to work and try to get information from Kab. She leaked a lot, but he really does need the practice on extracting info, he's been talking about it a lot, and she’s a great subject to practice on. 

So I am very excited for him to get that practice in future conversations. 

And Zam does try several different approaches, feigned indifference, just asking, comforting lie that he wont tell anyone the secret is safe with him, pretending to only be interested in one thing instead of everything, asking direct questions that she must confirm or deny which should give him info either way, asking for the favor out of friendship, asking for the favor out of the continued exchange of information, asking for the favor out of her not having given as much as he had given, playing for the ego that if it’s so bad you can’t tell me it must be really bad so you want to tell me, asking over and over.

She for her part only knows flattery, apology, and the placation of emotions to make you think you don’t want to know the information anyway or because you react too strongly and it wouldn't be healthy for you to know. 

The most interesting analysis is how at the very very end of her stream she said “I’ve giving him a warning that I’m going to fuck with some stuff so he shouldn’t.. He shouldn’t label that as me betraying him” 

Whichhhhhhh is hilarious because we all know ends only in one way. But that is shocking bc this was his fundamental reason for betraying Eclipse was bc they thought this way?? Like Vi and Subz thought if they were subtle and slow and give him warning about the wormhole, that he wouldn’t take that as a betrayal. But he did. So he betrayed outright. To like, oversimplify it. But basically, warning Zam does absolutely nothing to protect yourself from him ending the relationship when you do something new that is not aligned with his morals/thoughts/desires. 

So so so interesting how she has that viewpoint if she did watch Eclipse.

Oh! Final thought that might go more into the meta-conflict side of things. I think we don’t get that much meta-conflict in a similar way to how it was with Vi or Minute and Jumper and Pentar last season. Idk hot to describe it exactly.

It might not be quite what meta-conflict means, but like how Kab stops all lore to cause conflict based on what conflict was presented to her.

Kab has a massive tendency to use embarrassment and shame as an attack when she feels unsafe or embarrassed. Like she will instantaneously go for causing you embarrassment and making you feel bad for your choices whenever she feels threatened in order to make you back off. 

Like when she said: “and zam, this is the person you’re friends with?”

But she goes for the throat like this a ton, like with Bacon this stream going towards a consent argument to make him feel incredibly awkward and that he will back off from jumping her instead of risking saying 'no does not mean no'.  

There were other times in earlier streams that idk if I can remember them, but it’s happened a lot with Woogie and Bacon whenever they imply that they have doubts that her plan will work, she takes it almost as them saying they think she’s stupid. And she reacts very aggressively and makes it about meta stuff instead of on the server stuff.

What I do find fascinating is how Bacon, in three streams or so, has already learned how to give her critiques on her plans so that she doesn’t get offended and that she instead learns his thought process and is the one to back down. He is learning quickly.

Also I just realized JUST how much analyzing lifestealers feels like completing those logic puzzels where you have to figure out who has what item and what location or whatever and you get like five clues. No wonder I love this shit so much.

[theviolettulip]

Usopp-centric Fic Recs

Here they are, @pinkcrittertomb! I combed through the Usopp-centric tag on Ao3 and picked out (most of the) fics that I personally liked. I was gonna post when I FULLY combed through it, but it's been months and the tag keeps growing (yayy!!) so I'mma just post the 50+ fics I've got rn 😅

If you (or anyone else!) have any you wanna add, feel free to reblog or comments them. Also tagging @wesleysniperking & @thenapmaster cuz I think you'd wanna see this<3

Ducks are Evil by The1WhoReads

One-shot, Modern AU, Math Savvy!Zoro trying (and failing) to tutor Usopp, and Usopp suffering because of it. Humorous, cute, and has Usopp Zoro & Luffy interactions.

Изобретение by Тюша (Tyusha)

One-shot. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's Russian, but it's worth using Google Translate! It's about Usopp in the Chopperman universe, so he's actually Usodabada, and it was honestly very enjoyable and touching and made me want more Chopperman Fanfics...the author also has LOTS of other Usopp-centered works.

The Sheep And The Lion by Corporal_MerryWeather

One-shot, Usopp & Merry & Sunny apparitions. really cute, him being able to see Merry show up as a little goat and later Sunny as a lion.

What makes a person? by Starlight_Adventurer

One-shot, Usopp is a goat mink (his mom's a mink, his dad's human) and he's angsting about his dad. Luffy comforts him<3

You could be my luck by yuukri

One-shot, Modern College AU, basically the East Blue 5 going on a grocery trip at 2 in the morning and it being the BEST slice of life everrr it is just SO. THEM.

Marked by truth by SaltyYagi

Multichapter. Truth Spells/Elixers/whatever are my JAM and here, Usopp is hit by a DF power of this very same ability. TW cuz Usopp is depressed & suicidal (and his crew find out about it)

Bar stories by SaltyYagi

TW sexual assault, multichapter. Usopp almost gets raped in a bar, and then deals with the aftermath. It's VERY well-written, and his reaction to what happened and his feelings I thought were very realistic! His crew, of course, is there for him.

Smoke by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

>>Usopp's stuck somewhere, and he can't breathe. He thinks maybe it's the smoke? But then why does his chest hurt?<< Idk what to say, this might be THE best fic on the list, SUPERRR well-written and the 2nd chapter is just so much fuN! 🙂(🫠) (multichapter)

With a 100% Win Rate by Just_Fifi

....you know what, this fic and Smoke might just be tied for best written fic on this list. This one-shot is slice of life CENTRAL!! Ft. Usopp & Kaya and the Usopp Pirates playing games, and Usopp With a (frustrating, for Kaya) 100% Win Rate. VERY enjoyable! (one-shot)

Seed of Doubt by ladykarasu

One-shot, the idea of it is actually DEPRESSING. (pun kinda intended) Perona wanted revenge so she placed a ghostie in Usopp so it continually chips at his resolve and the result is...well, see for yourself!

The Seer by TheMightiestPen

I just LOVE when fics capitalize on Usopp's 'prophecy' skills, and this one takes it to the max! Some horrifying stuff, lots of BEAUTIFUL nakamaship, and the best thing of all is that it's a series and the second fic has been recently posted and is updating frequently!

Deconstructed by LessonsFromMoths

🥲...I think the summary says it all. >>Usopp loves his nakama. Despite his constant fear, protecting them is second nature....apparently, so is dying for them.

In which Usopp dies. Right?<< (minor Kaya/Usopp, multichapter)

Head High by ChijikatotokaShikukute (catoandtonto)

TW bullying: the violent, disgusting, and humilating kind (poor Usopp...). There's also other stuff, I recommend checking the tags first. Ongoing. This fic is INSANE. Modern AU, highschool. Usopp & the crew fought and they haven't made up (kinda like a bad W7 ending) and I would classify this fic as a mystery, specifically to the audience cuz we have no idea what's going then find out more chapter by chapter and it's all VERY interesting. I don't think i'm doing it justice, but trust me bro

The Truth In Our Lies by CaptainJojo

One-shot. This. THIS is all I've ever wanted in 2,239 words. >>Usopp doesn't have eight thousand followers. He doesn't have any real stories. Does he even exist? Does it matter?<< We've got Usopp feeling low, and then the Monster trio confronting him and showing him he's loved GAH IT"S SO GOOD PLZ READ IT!!!!

Calm Inside the Storm by ChijikatotokaShikukute

Ongoing. Usopp's chillin' when he's suddenly greeted with Merry's spirit/ghost, who's there to help him cuz apparently he's DYING and wow, this is a lot, but it's SO good (and unintentially funny XD). Honestly, this author never misses!

Solidarity by deadlysoupy

TW self-harm. One-shot. Why Usopp wears his armbands. (I like this headcanon)

Of faults and care by orphan_account

One-shot, Luffy & Usopp fluff, honestly the sweetest! >>Every week they would gather together, just the two of them. They would share the things they love and compliment each other. They don't actually know where this habit had come from, but they never questioned it.<<

A boy’s savior by SaltyYagi

One-shot. Usopp as a Whitebeard pirate (cool concept) meets confronting Yasopp

First Kisses by auriferousxbee (this one's locked btw)

One-shot. SUPER cute Kaya/Usopp! Their first kiss =P

Usopp's Struggle: A Painful Accident on the Sunny! by UsoppFangirl1

One-shot. (the title & username is honestly perfect, just wanted to say that~) Usopp's ammunition explodes and he's badly hurt. I just LOVE how the crew is very worried about him!

the things only He sees. by arurun

Multichapter, completed. IT"S SO FRICKING HILARIOUS!!! Usopp can see the devil fruits' spirits, and at first it drives him crazy (Gomu is a BRAT) but they all like him and it's just so amusing to see him deal with this and his crewmates thinking he's a bit weird XD

The Greatest Treasure by Pirate_Giraffe

one-shot. Oh my god....this one is one of my favorites, straight up because it is HILARIOUS!!!! STRAIGHT UP CRACK OH MY GOD I FELT LIKE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING XDDD Basically SHs arrive at Laugh Tale and the one piece is revealed...=)

You're Beatifuuul To Meeeeeee by e4679p

one-shot. short, but wholesomeness PERSONIFIED!!! >>After time-skip, Usopp finally thinks he has a chance with Kaya with his new mucled body and tell to his friends but Luffy disagree with him by saying he always had a chace meaning he was always beatiful and didn't need muscles (Off course Luffy is right)<<

Personally Confused by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. >>An untold story of Usopp developing Dissociative Personality Disorder.<< I think it's very interesting! Would've loved if it was longer...

Name-calling, and it's side effects by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. The crew start to notice Usopp's weird powers. Wonder where those came from...

Blood Bath by Ilkwrdthngsdntjudge

one-shot. You know what, at this point I just recommend checking out the writer, all their OP fics are centered around Usopp! This one is one of the...angstier ones. =( >>In which the Strawhats are captured, and Usopp makes a deal with their captors for his crew's safety and freedom.<<

Where do I actually belong? by Haiiro_lolz

One-shot. Usopp thinking about his nakama. The vibes here are interesting--him loving and admiring his family but then kinda putting himself down.

Rocking of the Waves by sinelanguage

One-shot. This fic is like a warm hug, or a balm to your soul. ILY USOPP YOURE SUCH A SWEETHEART!!! (Usopp & Crew stuff)

Pathfinding by sinelanguage

One-shot. Zoro & Usopp GOODNESS!!! I read this a while back and I LOVE IT, both are stuck in a marine base and Usopp has to remotely guide Zoro to where he is before the base explodes. Very nice stuff👍

strongest soldier by Nianinn

TW Self-harm, one-shot. ZORO & USOPP CONTENT LE'S GOOO!!! Also a sprinkle of Robin & Choppah looking out for Usopp ;)

Hard of hearing or hardly working? by SaltyYagi

One-shot, Usopp becomes Hard of Hearing after his stay at Boin, and his fam, of course, supports him (and learns a bit of ASL =)

The confrontation by Jazmin_Dreemur

One-shot, what if Luffy & Usopp met and spoke before the crew set sail? The writing is a bit wonky cuz I think it was translated but it's still a nice read and I think there should be more fics with this idea.

Scars you (don't) have to hide by TushaMG

TW self-harm, one-shot. 🥹Sanji & Usopp bonding cuz of their scars. Well-written.

An Attempt at Atonement by redriotinggg

One-shot. >>Usopp apologizes for abandoning his crew.<< Emotional, and also the crew affirming Usopp (he is very much wanted, and not cuz of his 'usefulness').

Negative thoughts won't leave me alone by Vagabonde

One-shot. Usopp is drunk and Sanji takes care of him. VERY cute and funny<3

Usopp's Egghead Revelations by A_Smort_Person

One-shot, set after chap. 1095. Usopp stumbles upon some Seraphim research and has an interesting relevation. . .

There's nowhere to hide from me by Vagabonde

One-shot & one of my FAVES! This is action-packed, all of it well-written and Usopp is the in the center of it all! Truly the MVP.

He's a Wonderful Sniper by Anonymous

One-shot. Usopp's having a bad day, and his thoughts spiral and he wishes that he never joined the Strawhats so he wouldn't be a burden to them. An ethereal being answers his call, and shows him how things would've gone if he never joined. Well-done, and I honestly there were more fics that explored an AU where Usopp never joined.

days fade into a watercolor blur by eat_crow

One-shot. Depression hits Usopp like a hammer, and he just can't find it in himself to get out of bed. Thankfully his nakama always have his back, and in this case that nakama is Sanji (!!! LOVE their relationship and this fic!)

Jump In, the Water's Great! by Urndearing

Multichapter, ongoing. In this (INCREDIBLE) fic, Usopp isn't the sole focus but there's lots of attention given to him cuz the sirens do, after all, bring out everyone's worst fears and insecurities, and poor Usopp's got a lot of those. Could not recommend more!

The Love Life of Lady Long Nose by crackerjackermackeral

Multichapter, ongoing. This one's a RIOT! It's fem!Usopp and every chapter is about her in a different pairing. Everything's really well-written and also funny & cute, and the best part is you can just skip around to whatever pairing you're interested in!

The Coward's Redemption by Brucenorris007

Multichapter, ongoing, last update 2022 tho =( I just finished reading the first chapter and OH MY GOD AM I BLOWN AWAY!!!! It's a time travel fic where Usopp is sent back to fix things by Coby and so far, it's INCREDIBLY well-written!

I'm Sorry Too(2) by LastOblivion

Multichapter, ongoing, last update 2023 =(( BUT! You *MUST* read this! All Usopp fans, in this fic Usopp gets lots of love (and apologies) from his crewmates, and it's so incredibly sweet! Everyone is VERY in-character and it if doesn't make you go "aww" at least once then I'll eat my hat! (plz don't make me, it's my only one...)

In hollow towers and empty hives by SaltyYagi

Multichapter. >>Usopp is is a foul mood with no seeming reason, Zoro decides to figure out why.<< Cute Z&U actions, with some hurt/comfort as well. I really love this author and their Usopp fics, half of those are on here XD

Would you show up for me now? by IluvVaporeon

TW suicide mention, one-shot. Usopp writes a suicide letter to his bum of a dad (doesn't send it, of course) and I remember liking how passive-aggressive it was.

"House of Gold" by EMA_literature

One-shot, songfic. Usopp tells Chopper (and his eavesdropping crewmates) about his mom. Short & sweet!

bountiful treasures by Nomadstarlight

One-shot, 17k words of chaos & hilarity! The SHs are bounty hunters and this is all from Usopp's POV--his journey is honestly incredible and that ending DELIVERED XD

Grilled Fish for the Sniper's Soul by carmerlin

One-shot. Usopp breaks his foot and Luffy & Sanji (& the rest, but the focus is on these two) are taking care of him. GOD this is incredible! Wonderful characterization and very humerous--also the little Sanji moments are 👌

The Restless Barber of Syrup by Evilgu

One-shot, Wild Wild West AU. Literally the BEST THING EVER!! Everything from the setting to the characterization to the plot (it's not a repurposed Kuro) is wonderful, and Usopp really shines!

Merry in a Bottle by BeccasStoriesToTellInTheDark

One-shot, Minor Kaya/Usopp. This is an Usopp&crew-come-back-to-Syrup-Villaige fic and it is PHENOMENAL. There's Usopp & Kaya, Usopp & the Vegetables, and Usopp & Crew moments and they are all wonderful! Very slice of life, feelgood read.

Consumed by Kooabreen

Multi-chapter, ongoing as of writing this. This is a modern AU horror fic that is EXPERTLY written, even better cuz it's from Usopp's POV. I don't wanna say too much, so just trust me on this!

Your Protector by character-studious-drabbles (character_studious)

Drabble. >>Usopp has nightmares. Then he stops. (He never figures out the reason why.)<< I'm only gonna link this one fic but check out their rest! They've got a bunch of nice drabbles for Usopp, and the Strawhats in general.

[flippinpancakes64]

hi !! i absolutely love your work and headcannons sm<3

i'm not sure if smth like this has been asked already, but can you do cullen w/ a "bella?" As in, a human they meet that is their singer + particularly interests them, whether that be because a limitation to their power (like bella w edward) or something similar.

idk if that really makes sense but thank you !!

The Cullens meeting their Blood Singer

I think I understand what you mean, so don't worry!

Also I just got my acrylics off after having them for months and guys it is so nice to be able to feel the keys while I type lol

Also I only applied the power limitation thing to Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Bella since they're the only ones with a power lol. For the others I just went with the reader being a blood singer.

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He's already met Bella, but it's said in the books that vampires can have multiple singers

So even though he's been through this before, that doesn't mean that meeting you is any easier

And the deja vu is crazy when he realizes that he can't read your thoughts either

He's like seriously this again

Even though he tries his best to stay away from you, he knows he can't

He accepts it easier this time

And after all of his practice with Bella, he is much less of a danger to you

He is pretty frustrated though

Like seriously he has to fall in love with someone whose mind he can't read again

It's like his own personal curse

Just like with Bella though, he does get used to your scent

And even though he's upset about the fact that he can't use his ability on you, he copes

Alice:

Throughout the series, there are multiple instances where her power has been blocked by people

The wolves, namely

So when she encounters you she is shocked to say the least

She's never witnessed this power in a human before

Not to mention the fact that you smell so delicious

She needs a second to lie down

Unlike the wolves, your power only affects you when you're human

Similar to Bella's

She is exasperated though

Not only did she not foresee you entering her life because of your ability, but she also can't see any of your future

You tripped and fell once and she didn't know that it was going to happen and she was so upset

But as far as you being a singer for her, she's not too bothered

She has pretty good self control so she's able to be around you with little to no difficulty

When she does eventually turn you though you're gonna need to turn off your ability cause she is over it rn

Jasper:

It's a bit touchy for a while

Alice foresaw your arrival and warned Jasper so that he could be prepared

That still didn't properly prepare him for how good you would smell

It takes him a while to not want to kill you

And you have to be super careful not to bleed at all around him

As far as your ability, he has never once met someone who was immune to him

Even Bella's shield was susceptible to him

Carlisle guessed that yours is more of a physical shield than a mental one

Either way he finds it so odd

And a little bit of an inconvenience

But he doesn't use his ability too often on people he knows so it's not that big of a deal

His main concern is not killing you

Rosalie:

Her and Emmett have traveled a lot

So chances are she has probably met a singer before

Only in the past she just flees as fast as she can

Not because she's worried she'll kill them, but mostly just because she doesn't want to deal with that

But there's something different about you

Call it love at first sight

She doesn't struggle too much around you

She's never tasted human blood after all, so her self-control is unmatched

She's pretty hesitant about getting in a relationship with you though

She's worried about what would happen if you accidentally cut yourself or something

She doesn't know if she would be able to stop herself

But she learns to trust herself eventually

Emmett:

Uhm

His first instinct is to kill you

He's done it before

It's mentioned in the books that he has killed 2 or 3 of his blood singers in the past

That's why he tells Edward to just kill and eat Bella

But again there's something different about you

He just feels the strong desire to keep you alive

And so he does

But not without some trouble

Since he's always given into his desires in the past, it's super difficult to deny himself

So it takes a while

But he does push past it eventually

Esme:

She's been with Carlisle her whole life, so her craving have always been controlled

But she feels like a newborn again when she smells you

You're the best thing she's ever smelled, it makes her want to pounce

She goes to Carlisle first

He helps her to control herself and then she finally introduces herself to you

It's super difficult for her

But she loves you

She loves the way you smell, even if she can't have it

And yes she does have a bit of a crisis when she starts to fall in love with you because she thought Carlisle was the only one for her

Waiter I will take my blood singer with a side of angst and existentialism

Carlisle:

He's definitely met a blood singer in the past

He's over 400 years old I'd be more surprised if he hadn't

And because he has had so long to wear down his senses and control them better

He's like a vegan smelling a steak

He can appreciate that it smells good, but he won't eat it

Translating that over to you, he can tell instantly that you are his blood singer, but he will not indulge

There was one instance, though, where you scraped your knee and he had to excuse himself from the room

He felt so bad and apologized profusely afterwards

But you understood

It takes him a while to recover from that

I mean, that's the first time he's really felt such a strong desire to drink human blood in over 300 years

But he gets acclimated to the smell of you after a while so he's okay

Vampire! Bella:

She knew only the surface level of the impact that she used to have on Edward

She watched him struggle, but she never knew how bad it was

Still being so young, her first instinct was to pounce on you in the school hallway

But with Edward and Carlisle's help she was able to control herself

She still struggles a bit, but she's getting better every day

As for your ability, she is frustrated

Now she understands why Edward was so upset about not being able to read her mind

You have the ability to cut through her mind defenses

As a human your ability is very sporadic

You subconsciously send various thoughts of yours straight into her head and it's jarring

You don't even know you're doing it

Even when she strengthens her defenses, you still push through like it's nothing

She apologizes to Edward

[bapple117]

will the theraprist’s gender ever be addressed? everyone is operating under the assumption that they’re comfortably fem and they’ve never bothered to correct anyone on it so i’m wondering if that will eventually come up, or if you plan to continue writing them as you are rn. i remember theraprist being frustrated in earlier chapters but it seems they’ve just accepted it now. which i get when it’s just theraprism staff or folks on earth, people they aren’t exactly attached to and don’t care enough to fight on it, but from a close friend like Bill? as a fellow genderless freak idk how to feel

absolutely no hate shame or complaints btw, i adore your writing and the therapist either way :)

Hey!

So the theraprist's gender experience is somewhat influenced by my own personal experiences, I put a lot of my own thoughts and feelings on gender and identity into this story. It's not an author-insert by any means (theraprist is their own character) but you gotta write with what you know, right? They are a genderless being but they decided to take the form of a biological female as a human. This means some of the themes in the story are about them coming to terms with human experience in a biologically defined body, despite not necessarily aligning with that sensation as a being that's technically devoid of gender. There are a lot of themes in the story about humanity and experiencing that, for both Bill and Doc.

I actually only wrote Doc being truly frustrated once, and that was when the ward manager called them WOMAN. This is based on my own personal experience. I am AFAB and femme-presenting but have never felt like I fit the term of "woman". I don't feel like a WOMAN. I feel like a genderless nothing who looks a lil cute sometimes. Also the WM was just being a massive dick in that scene in general LMAO

I think, project whatever you like onto the character. I can only write what I feel / think / believe in and I tag accordingly 💜

In my mind, Doc is fine with any pronouns, as it's like, the last thing they care about given they've taken thousands of forms in their lifetime of all different genders & identities. I hope that makes sense :)