#idiot!

[pplatonic]

in the soul eater drama cd lord death traumatizes maka by jumpscaring her and soul while kid is in the middle of telling a spooky story about the ghost they need to exorcise from his house so in return she beats the everliving shit out of him while screaming

[gromky]

can not believe i passed on buying the baby deer sake bc it was a little expensive. like so what that was the cutest little jar with a reusable lid even

[floofrights]

april fools i. im not even real haha. im just an ai program lmao. .. Dumbass!!!

[the-colours-system]

Ace shut up!

I know you don’t like this, but you need to shut up!

All you are doing are making others upset again!

And I am done with it!

[mothmussy]

@grv-3s

[pippersmcgee]

um you actually look so magnificent in your corporate-mandated uniform bathed in the purple light of evening during the limited-time Halloween event

[kply-industries]

Don't do this, idiot!

[mingot-studios]

hey bozo, next time aim for the head!

[becoach-a]

beard even tho he literally has a degree in mathematics and even prefers to play chess without a board:

[mirmidones]

i love being right in the long run. one of life's greatest pleasures fr

[fyodior]

his head game strong

-🦝

his skull is just so damn thick

[themonotonysyndrome]

Listening to Project Meridian again...

WHERE WAS THAT SMUT I POSTED AGAIN!?

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[victusinveritas]

[xgermankittycatx--commsopen]

i think... this is flirting.