#idigestion

[zdravljeirecepti]

Sok od DUNJA za želudac i tegobe sa varenjem #indigestion #digestion #z...

[impetusofadream]

Time to play did I eat something that my digestive system hates or is it just a mid period symptom.

(Both. The answer is usually both. My body is a defective lump.)

[subbalakshmisastry]

Carnivorous Plant Watch VENUS FLYTRAP in action

[sansofhumor]

So, a concept I may or may not do something with, but I've been thinking about papyrus' staunch insistence that sans not eat at grillbys and how papyrus hates grease etc and I'm thinking it's bc of stomach problems

Like, they're skeletons they can't process greasy fatty foods the same way other monsters can. Lighter magical foods are easier to process and skeletons are prone to some idigestion issues with heavier foods.

So while they can ingest the completely charred remains of a spaghetti box (theres nothing to process lmao just absorb the magic and let the rest flake out / no need to worry about oils and fats if you incinerate them), eating a grease covered burger could get like physically painful

It's probably also why sans doesn't actually eat in front of frisk

Anyways, on his own, sans doesn't care enough to avoid food that'll distress him (is possibly struggling with the fact that his favorite foods used to NOT stress him out, but with all the you know emotional turmoil lately it's been causing him issues). so papyrus tries to keep sans from waking up at 3am with the worst symptoms by making him limit the amount of times he goes out to eat

I like to imagine papyrus was a picky eater as a kid (for a bunch of reasons, only one of which is the tummy aches) so he's used to having food limitations but sans isn't. some times food sensitivities set in later in life or are induced by stress and, like, I wonder what recent or relatively recent events may have caused physical upheaval in sans' life, lol

I just like these two dichotomy skeletons except theyre both completely not functional lol. Sans avoids and neglects and papyrus over-attends and fixates. Sans sleeps all the time, papyrus refuses to. Sans chooses the short cut, papyrus will run at top speed (or... twirl in the air) to a secondary location. I think papyrus is also one of those health nuts who are uh, not healthy bc they keep getting up at 2am to run 12 miles and then eat a kale salad... when is he going to collapse?????? Except he's not quite, like, a health nut per se, he just needs distractions and stimulation and routines to follow? That's a tangent I can't quite follow through on haha. I just like the idea that papyrus isn't, like, 100% well adjusted or anything just great at masking.

[water-mellie-seeds]

No more idigestion i am liiiiterally too sexy 4 þhat. the mysme chat is in like 20mins

[coachingneurobiologico]

La gastritis es una inflamación aguda o crónica de la mucosa del estómago, lugar donde empieza el proceso de digestión.

Si hay inflamación, hay irritación e ira frente a algo o a alguien a quien no digiero: ciertas cosas no pasan como quisiera, o puede ser una o personas que no actúan como lo deseo.

SENTIDO BIOLÓGICO:

La función de una gastritis es la de fabricar más jugos gástricos y sensibilizar la zona para digerir mejor algo que nos es difícil de digerir.

CONFLICTO:

Conflicto de contrariedad indigesta en el territorio. También existe rabia, ira y cólera que se relacionan con la inflamación (“itis”): “Todo aquello que me irrita en el territorio”. Conflicto de incomprensión.

Puedo tener el sentimiento de haber sido engañado y de estar preso en una situación. Estoy irritado por algo que absorbió mi sistema de digestión y la realidad “digerida” me molesta en alto grado.

La persona que la padece puede sentir o haber sentido mucho enojo y que eso que siente le quema.

Ejemplo: Una mujer tiene gastritis desde hace 15 días, y al preguntarle responde: “Mi mejor amigo y mi mejor amiga se han hecho pareja y aun no puedo digerirlo”.

Es importante aprender a aceptar las situaciones y a los demás tales como son, sabiendo que el único poder que tengo es el poder sobre mí mismo.

TUS DOLORES Y SÍNTOMAS FÍSICOS MUESTRAN LOS CONFLICTOS DE TU VIDA QUE NO HAS RESUELTO. TE ENSEÑAMOS A ESCUCHAR A TU CUERPO, PARA DETECTAR Y RESOLVER TUS CONFLICTOS.

Un síntoma o enfermedad indica que se ha vivido un impacto conflictivo al que el inconsciente responde con un programa de adaptación.

¿QUIERES APRENDER A SANAR LOS CONFLICTOS OCULTOS QUE PROMUEVEN LAS ENFERMEDADES Y SÍNTOMAS FÍSICOS?

Te ofrecemos un programa único, de Sanación Personal y Formación Profesional, con las más modernas técnicas para promover la sanación integral de las personas: Tanto a nivel físico, emocional, mental, espiritual y actitudinal.

Diplomado de formación profesional en Coaching NeuroBiológico, con certificación internacional.

Solicita la información!

#gastritis #estomago #idigestion #acidez #estomacal #biodescodificacion

[alphamagnus]

Has a great time tonight seeing @brentterhune with the boiz. We got there a little early, got front row seats 😅 #whatonflatearth #emotionalsupportbeer #idigest (at Pickwick & Frolic/Hilarities 4th Street Theatre) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR74McmtGVT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[pilyongpinoy]

Nakakamiss ang buhay sa probinsya. Yung tipong gigising ka sa amoy ng sinangag na kanin na hinaluan ng maraming bawang at aroma ng mainit na kape. Para bang walang sisira sa araw mo kahit ang gobyerno (bwakana, nakakainis parin pala). Bubungad ang umaga sa sigaw ni Ka Berto kasama ang kanyang mainit na taho. Mga ganitong bagay ang masarap balikan. Pero nandito ako sa Metro. Magulo. Mausok. Maingay. Nakakapanibago. Minsan kailangan nating umalis sa ating nakagawian para meron tayong patunguhan.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them—that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu

Lagi nga nating naririnig na change is the only constant thing in the world. Lahat nagbabago. Kahit na yang karelasyon mo na sa simula ang sweet sweet nyo, darating din ang panahon na manlalamig sya sayo. MAGHIHIWALAY RIN KAYO! *whaaaat! bitter pala* Ayon kay Ajzen, I. (1991) sa kanyang akda na Theory of Planned Behavior.  Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, may dalawang factor sa pagbabago sa atin at sa paligid natin. Ito ay Intention at Ability. Ano bang gusto mong gawin sa buhay mo? Gusto mo bang landiin yung kaibigan mo na sobrang tagal mo s'yang crush. Gusto mo bang iwanan na ang jowa mo dahil sobrang toxic na toxic ka na sa relationship nyo pero di mo magawa kasi nanghihinayang ka sa mga memories nyo. Nasa intensyon mo ang isang dahilan kung bakit may pagbabago sa buhay mo. Ability naman ang bubuo sa pagbabago base sa kung paano mo titimbangin ang mga nararanasan mo. Halimbawa, gusto mong jowain ang kaibigan mo na super duper ultra mega crush mo na pinagpapantasyahan mo pero hindi mo kayang sabihin kasi natotorpe ka. O kaya naman hindi mo pa kayang makipagrelasyon pero gusto mo sya kaya ang ending ay friends with benefits kayo. Whaaaaat. O kaya naman ay gusto mong iwanan na yang toxic mong jowa kaso hindi mo kaya kasi natatakot ka na baka mamaya wala na palang taong handang magmahal at tumanggap ng mga imperfections mo. Kaya para sayo hindi yun option kasi baka hindi mo kayanin. Patuloy lang ang ikot ng mundo kaya patuloy ang pagbabago.

Pero hindi masamang huminto muna sandali. Sabihin mo sa life mo na "uy teka lang parang hindi ito ang gusto kong puntahan ng buhay ko ah". Baka kailangan mo lang munanh umupo at magmuni-muni sa buhay mo. Ngayong nasa Metro Manila ako, iniisip ko na tama ba tong buhay na pinasok ko? Ang intensyon ko lang naman ay mabago ang buhay ko. Matindi kasi ang paniniwala ko na maikli lang ang buhay ng tao, gawin mong masaya at exciting ang buhay mo dahil isang beses ka lang mabubuhay. Kumbaga sulitin na natin. One way ticket lang to eh. Pag na deads ka, wala na. Game over na. Kaso sa ruta ng buhay natin, minsan naliligaw tayo ng daan na akala mong tama, yun pala dead end na. Sinubukan mo kasing magshortcut. Akala mo mas mapapadali ka, yun pala mapapahamak ka lang. Kaya nanaisin mo na bumalik ulit sa parte ng daan na alam mong tama at doon ay magsisimula ka ulit ng panibagong daan. Ngayon, tatanungin mo ang sarili mo kung

PAANO BA MAGSIMULA ULIT?

Kung dumating panahon na pakiramdam mo ay parang ang gulo na ng mundo mo at hindi ka na masaya. Huwag kang matakot na iwan lahat ng excess baggage mo at start from scratch. Hayaan mong idigest lahat ng sama ng loob na sarili mo. Huwag mong isipin na nagsusuffer ka sa consequences ng mga actions mo. May sariling utak ka. May pag-iisip. Hayaan mong palayain ang sarili mo sa lungkot. Hayaan mong matagpuan naman ang mga bagay na makakapagpasaya sayo.

Hindi kailanman naging kahinaan ang aminin ang mga pagkakamali at mga pagkukulang mo. Hindi ka magiging ganap na malaya kung hindi mo aalisin ang denial sa sarili mo

ME: eh kasi naman palagi na lang ako ang nag-iisip kung saan kami magde-date.

(also ME): gusto ko lang naman maramdaman na nag eeffort s'ya sa akin. Mahirap bang gawin yun?

********************************************************

ME: pagod na pagod na ko sa trabahong ito. Sobrang naiistress na ako. Wala namang pinapatunguhan ang career ko.

(also ME): pag umalis ako sa work ko na to, saan ako pupulutin? Pano ako kakain? Pano yung pang data ko para makalaro ng ML? Pano ko machachat yung mga matched ko sa Tinder!

Huwag mong kakalimutan na balikan ulit kung ano ba ang goal mo sa buhay. Ano ba ang deepest desire mo. Paano ka magiging maligaya. Doon magandang magsimula. Noon ay goal mo ay maging isang engineer kaso nahihirapan ka namang makahanap ng work kaya ibang field ang binagsakan mo. Ngayon ay napapaisip ka sa buhay mo kung ano ba talaga ang mangyayari sayo. Balikan mo kung ano ba ang pangarap mo. Hindi ka makahanap ng trabaho noon, baka ngayon may oppprtunity na para makuha mo ito. Hindi ka makahanap ng work noon, pero iba naman na ang panahon ngayon. Iniwan ka ng jowa mo at pinagpalit sa alagad ng hipon. Hindi mo alam ang gagawin mo kasi sya ang nagbigay ng kaligayahang abot langit *whaaaaat dats bastos* sayo. Bumalik ka sa panahon na hindi pa sya dumarating sa buhay mo. May mga maling daan lang tayong nadadaanan pero hindi ibig sabihin noon ay kailangan na nating huminto. Pahinga lang. Muni-muni at bumalik sa panahon na gusto mong magsimula ulit.

[fitspireblog]

7 EMERGING BENEFITS AND USES OF CURRY LEAVES

Curry leaves, commonly known as “Kadi patta”. This is the signature spice of South Indian and foundmainly in every Indian household. They are known for their aromatic and distinctive flavour and areused in dishes like sambhar, rice, upma, curries, rasam, snacks and so on. These leaves have varioushealth and beauty benefits like weight loss, idigestion, blood pressure, anaemia, diabetes, acne, hairfall etc. These aromatic leaves have nutrients like calcium, fibre, zinc, copper, phosphorus, iron,carbohydrates, vitamin a, b, c, e and magnesium.Across India, curry leaves are widely used in dals for their flavoursome “tadka” to add more flavourand aroma to the dish.It is also used in herbal (ayurvedic) medicines as well. In Ayurveda, the roots of curry plant is used fortreating body aches, leaves for stomach related issues and the bark is used for snake bite relief.

The nutritional values per 100 grams are:

Energy - 108 Kcal

Carbohydrates - 18.7 gm

Fibre - 6.4 gm

Protein - 6.1 gm

Minerals- 4 gm

Calcium - 830 mg

Phosphorus - 57 mg

Iron - 0.93 mg

Copper - 0.1 mg

Magnesium - 44 mg

Zinc - 0.2 mg

Manganese - 0.15 mg

Chromium - 0.006 mg

Thiamine - 0.08 mg

Vitamin C - 4 mg

HEALTH BENEFITS OF CURRY LEAVE

Aside from being a versatile herb, curry leaves offer an abundance of health benefits that willconvince you to add this supremacy in your diet.

1 Have antioxidants

Most illnesses in our body are caused by infections or oxidative cell damage at some point. Curryleaves are packed with carbazole alkaloids, a compound that have anti-bacterial, antioxidant andanti-inflammatory properties, that fight from free radicals and keep cells of the body healthy.

2 Heal wounds and burns 

Curry leaves have alkaloids that help heal wounds that are not too deep. They have similar effects onboils, inflamed or itchy skin, and mild burns. You can make a paste out of curry leaves at home thatserves as an antiseptic.

3 May help in losing weight

Curry leaves are said to reduce the body fat, thus helping you shed some extra kilos. Chewing 5-6curry leaves or simply adding them in your meals may help in losing weight. You can even make teaout of curry leaves by simply boiling 8-10 leaves and have it the first thing in the morning forextreme results.

4 Keep diabetes in check

Several studies have shown that curry leaves help reduce high blood sugar levels and protect againstsymptoms related to nerve pain, diabetes and kidney damage etc. Thanks to the presence ofminerals like zinc, iron and copper which are known to stimulate the pancreas.

5. Sharpen your memory

Chewing curry leaves at any time of the day have shown enhancement in memory power andreduce the effects of conditions like amnesia or loss of memory. Study showed that consuming curryleaf extract for 15 days improved memory scores in both young and aged generation.

6 Treats Indigestion

In Ayurveda, it is said that curry leaves have mild laxative properties and are carminative in nature,which means they can be used to treat gastrointestinal issues such as constipation, irritable bowelsyndrome, hemorrhoids to alleviate indigestion. Boil some curry leaves and consume it with somedrops of lemon in it. You can also make a paste of curry leaves and drink it buttermilk. Justremember, it should be consumed on an empty stomach for maximum benefits.

7 Good for the eyesight

Curry leaves are rich vitamin A that is beneficial for eyesight. In some cases, deficiency of vitamin Aleads to night blindness or even vision loss. Vitamin A contains carotenoids an organic compoundwhich protects the cornea and the surface of an eye. We recommend regular consumption of curryleaves in the diet.

The soothing aroma, standard flavour and various health benefits of curryleaves sums up for the reason for you to add them in your daily diet. They arerich source of vitamins and minerals and great for body’s overall health anddevelopment. Make sure you opt for organic, chemical free leaves to availoptimum benefits.

To improve your health try our product: https://fitspire.fit/

[huntergator65]

Using Openssl To Create Keys For Mac

Using Openssl To Create Keys For Mac Osx

How To Use Openssl On Mac

In the example below openssl will use the RSA algorithm combined with the DES3 digest algorithm to generate the 2048 bit key. Our key will be protected by a passphrase (password) and stored in ciphered plain text in the file named secret.key. Openssl genrsa -des3 -out secret.key 2048 Generating a Public Key. Mac OS X also ships with OpenSSL pre-installed. For Windows a Win32 OpenSSL installer is available. Remember, it’s important you keep your Private Key secured; be sure to limit who and what has access to these keys. Converting PEM encoded certificate to DER openssl x509 -outform der -in certificate.pem -out certificate.der.

SYNOPSIS

openssldgst (-Idigest) (-help) (-c) (-d) (-hex) (-binary) (-r) (-outfilename) (-signfilename) (-keyformarg) (-passinarg) (-verifyfilename) (-prverifyfilename) (-signaturefilename) (-hmackey) (-fips-fingerprint) (-randfile..) (-engineid) (-engine_impl) (file..)

openssl Idigest (..)

DESCRIPTION

The digest functions output the message digest of a supplied file or files in hexadecimal. The digest functions also generate and verify digital signatures using message digests.

The generic name, dgst, may be used with an option specifying the algorithm to be used. The default digest is sha256. A supported digest name may also be used as the command name. To see the list of supported algorithms, use the openssl_list--digest-commands command.

Options

-help

Print out a usage message.

-Idigest

Specifies name of a supported digest to be used. To see the list of supported digests, use the command openssl_list--digest-commands.

-c

prints out the digest in two digit groups separated by colons, only relevant if hex format output is used.

-d

prints out BIO debugging information.

-hex

outputs digest as a hex dump. This is the default case for a 'normal' digest as opposed to a digital signature. See NOTES below for digital signatures using -hex.

-binary

outputs the digest or signature in binary form.

-r

output the digest in the 'coreutils' format used by programs like sha1sum.

-outfilename

specifies the file name to output to, or standard output by default.

Using Openssl To Create Keys For Mac Osx

-signfilename

. Note this option does not support Ed25519 or Ed448 private keys. Use the openssl_pkeyutl command instead for this.

digitally signs the digest using the private key in filename.

-keyformarg

Specifies the key format to sign digest with. The DER, PEM, P12, and ENGINE formats are supported.

-sigoptnm:v

Pass options to the signature algorithm during sign or verify operations. Names and values of these options are algorithm-specific.

-passinarg

the private key password source. For more information about the format of arg see the PASS PHRASE ARGUMENTS section in openssl.

-verifyfilename

verifies the signature using the public key in filename. The output is either Verification OK or Verification Failure.

-prverifyfilename

verifies the signature using the private key in filename.

-signaturefilename

specifies the actual signature to verify.

-hmackey

create a hashed MAC using 'key'.

-macalg

create MAC (keyed Message Authentication Code). The most popular MAC algorithm is HMAC (hash-based MAC), but there are other MAC algorithms which are not based on hash, for instance gost-mac algorithm, supported by ccgost engine. MAC keys and other options should be set via -macopt parameter.

-macoptnm:v

Passes options to MAC algorithm, specified by -mac key. Following options are supported by both by HMAC and gost-mac

key:string

Specifies MAC key as alphanumeric string (use if key contain printable characters only). String length must conform to any restrictions of the MAC algorithm for example exactly 32 chars for gost-mac.

hexkey:string

Specifies MAC key in hexadecimal form (two hex digits per byte). Key length must conform to any restrictions of the MAC algorithm for example exactly 32 chars for gost-mac.

-rand file..

specifies a file or files containing random data used to seed the random number generator. Multiple files can be specified separated by an OS-dependent character. The separator is ; for MS-Windows, , for OpenVMS, and : for all others.

(-writerandfile)

Writes random data to the specified file upon exit. This can be used with a subsequent -rand flag.

-fips-fingerprint

compute HMAC using a specific key for certain OpenSSL-FIPS operations.

-engineid

Use engine id for operations (including private key storage). This engine is not used as source for digest algorithms, unless it is also specified in the configuration file or -engine_impl is also specified.

-engine_impl

When used with the -engine option, it specifies to also use engine id for digest operations.

file..

specifies the file or files to digest. If no files are specified then standard input is used.

EXAMPLES

To create a hex-encoded message digest of a file:

To sign a file using SHA-256 with binary file output:

To verify a signature:

NOTES

The digest mechanisms that are available will depend on the options used when building OpenSSL. The openssl_listdigest-commands command can be used to list them.

New or agile applications should use probably use SHA-256. Other digests, particularly SHA-1 and MD5, are still widely used for interoperating with existing formats and protocols.

When signing a file, dgst will automatically determine the algorithm (RSA, ECC, etc) to use for signing based on the private key's ASN.1 info. When verifying signatures, it only handles the RSA, DSA, or ECDSA signature itself, not the related data to identify the signer and algorithm used in formats such as x.509, CMS, and S/MIME.

A source of random numbers is required for certain signing algorithms, in particular ECDSA and DSA.

The signing and verify options should only be used if a single file is being signed or verified.

Hex signatures cannot be verified using openssl. Instead, use 'xxd -r' or similar program to transform the hex signature into a binary signature prior to verification.

HISTORY

The default digest was changed from MD5 to SHA256 in OpenSSL 1.1.0. The FIPS-related options were removed in OpenSSL 1.1.0.

COPYRIGHT

Copyright 2000-2019 The OpenSSL Project Authors. All Rights Reserved. Mukis kitchen siterip.

Licensed under the OpenSSL license (the 'License'). You may not use this file except in compliance with the License. You can obtain a copy in the file LICENSE in the source distribution or here: OpenSSL.

AVAILABILITY

Tableau jira connector. PTC MKS Toolkit for System Administrators PTC MKS Toolkit for Developers PTC MKS Toolkit for Interoperability PTC MKS Toolkit for Professional Developers PTC MKS Toolkit for Professional Developers 64-Bit Edition PTC MKS Toolkit for Enterprise Developers PTC MKS Toolkit for Enterprise Developers 64-Bit Edition

PTC MKS Toolkit 10.3 Documentation Build 39.

How To Use Openssl On Mac

[skippingbeats]

Bakit kung sino pa yung niloko sila yung mas nagsusuffer, while yung mga nangloko masaya na sa bago nilang buhay? Why?

Bakit nga ba? Kasi usually lahat ng naloloko, sila yung mga bulag sa pagmamahal. Sila yung mahihina pagdating sa lungkot at sakit. Sila yung mga kailangan pang masaktan para matuto sa buhay. Sila yung sobra sobra kung magmahal to the point na wala ng tira for them.Sila yon. Tayo yon. At tayo din yung mga taong dapat natututo. Lumalakas at hindi sumusuko. Kung kaya nilang maging masaya MAS KAYA NATIN DAPAT DI BA? Kasi sila kaya lang nilang tumanggap ng pagmamahal, hindi nila kayang magbalik ng tinatanggap nila. Tayo, kaya natin magbigay kahit sobra pa and I think that is beautiful. Dapat tayo yung mas kumakaya sa lahat dahil sobra sobra ang pagmamahal na kaya nating ibigay. Alam ko mahirap idigest araw araw na niloko ka, iniwan, pinagpalit pero andon na e. Papakain ka pa ba sa lungkot habang siya masaya na? NO! Start rebuilding yourself! Hindi mo kailangan ng mga taong sinasayang ka lang.Stay loved.

[ex-masbitterpasakape]

Hello po! 👋 Tanong po ito ng bespren ko, wala po kasi akong naisagot.. Bakit daw po kumakain tayo kahit na alam po natin na ilalabas din natin ang mga ito? Hehehe 😄

Scientifically? Para masatisfy yung mga gastric juices mo na may idigest sila as well as sa nutrients na meron yung mga food na yun. Para lang yan, bakit ka nagmamahal at umaasa pa, kung alam mong masasaktan ka din naman pala.

[inthejam]

Thought 101

Na-eenjoy ko yung mga biography ng mga personality theorist na to.Honestly, mas dama ko sila ngayon, gusto ko idigest lahat pero di pa ready yung utak ko. HAHAHAAH Para akong nagbabasa na mga short fiction HAHAHA pero mapapaisip ka rin na GRABE! di basta basta yung struggles nila sa buhay bago sila mag come up sa ganoong theories. *hats off to all of youuu* 

[0000waowaowaowaowaowa]

Huhu. Nagmaterialize 2loy saken ang Perks. What wouldve and couldve happened kaya if Tom directed it while Chbosky remained as the writer?? ((Chbosky coproduced Beauty and the Beast nga pala and I noticed hints of his styles well, maybe, bc he and Emma Watson worked b4.)) All Im saying is, given the backgrounds and proclivities of these 2 people, it is without any doubts that Perks wouldve been an Oscar-worthy movie if Tom had had a part on it. Also, tho I can argue right now na movie sadya ang best fit for Perks, paano kaya kung tv series rin ang nangyari??? Like omg mas kavogue siguro tas mygad ang hirap ding panuorin at idigest.

[nonotagainjohn]

Bad joke 12/20/19

Hmmmm....

Nagkukwentuhan kami ng mga blockmates natin at nagkakamustahan. Nakipag kita ako sa kanila kasi kamiss din sila. Tapos tinry namin na inisa-isa yung mga surname ng mga kaklase natin before. Kung ano na ba balita sa kanila ganun. Hanggang sa umabot sayo yung usapan.

Biglang sinabi ni Leif na kaclose mo na may group chat kayo nina Angel. Hindi naman kami nagulat kasi aware naman kami na close kayo kasi mga ilocano kayo. Bigla nyang sinabi na nag-asawa ka na daw. Tapos parang ako akala ko maling name narinig ko kaya pinaulit ko sakanya. Akala ko pa yung sinasabi nya ay yung kabatch natin sa ibang section. Pero inulit at kinlaro nya na ikaw daw ang nag asawa na. Umarte pa sya na papakita samin group chat nyo. Kaya ayun, naniwala ako.

Naniwala ako. Nagulat. Parang nahirapan akong huminga. (OA pero totoo. LEGIT!!!) Hindi ko alam kung ano sasabihin ko nung malinaw na sakin yung sinabi nya. As in paniwalang paniwala ako. Ninerbyos ako. Bumilis tibok ng puso ko. Tapos parang may kirot. Nalito ako bigla. Kaya kahit naniwala na ako inusisa ko pa din kasi hindi naman ako sinabihan ni Chelle. I mean feeling ko kasi kahit hindi ako magtanong kung ganun na yung balita, sya na mismo magsasavi sakin ng kusa.

Bigla ko syang sinabihan na imposible kong hindi mabalitaan kasi nga “kabarkada kita” kahit hindi na. Naniwala ako pero hindi ko tanggap. Gets ba? Kahit totoo pero hindi ko kaya idigest yung ganun na news tungkol sayo. Wala akong karapatan pero ewan. Ganun yung feels. As in paulit-ulit ko sinabi na malalaman ko agad if ever na totoo man ganun. Kaya ayun. Umamin din sya na niloloko nya lang pala kami. After nyang sinabi na hindi totoo, medjo nakahinga ulit ako ng maayos. Pero parang sasabog na ayaw bumagal nung tibok ng puso ko. Medjo tumagal na ganun pero nawala din nung tumagal tagal at nabago na yung usapan.

Ang sakit nung joke na yun. Hanggang sa napanaginipan na naman kita. Hayy

[nnskrygm]

Oh Em Ji

Suicidal thoughts strikes me again, I think I need help. I am in deep pain. Di ko kailangan magpapansin. Magpamiss dahil wala namang ganun.

They claimed important daw ako sa church? Eh dahil may malaking tulong akong ginagawa sa church. Hanga daw sila sakin, pero first and foremost ginawa ko yun para kay Lord. So ano etong iniemote ko? Hindi ko kasi expected na ganto yung mangyayari sakin. Yung ibinuhos mo yung sarili mo sa mga tao at sa mga inaalagaan mo, dadating yung time na ayawan ka talaga nila. Yun ang mahirap tanggapin, mahirap idigest. So failure ako ganun?

Last meeting face to face with them, every batch. Ang sakit sa feeling. May nagagawa ba talaga akong mabuti sa ministry. Tanong natin sa hindi ko close "Oo ang sagot"

Itanong mo sa mga close sa puso ko. Punyemas ano yun? Bat ganyan ang feedback. Can't breath. Can't imagine. I am lost. No one can feel this feeling. Sarap maglaho. Mababaw ba para maggantong react ako? Immatured? Bat ang lalim ng sugat? Bakit ang drama ko?

Lord this time, nasa tumblr ka din naman, nababasa mo to Lord. Help me. Help me. Help me please. Internal issues ko to. Personal baggage ko to.

Nagpost ako sa fb. 10mins ago. I posted na I need help. Need ko ng kausap kung discipler ka. Kaso napaisip ako. +£+#(£- Wala pala akong mga friends na ganto.

Low profile tayo mga chong, linisin ang FB. Mamuhay ng tahimik. Wag pasikat sa bonggang ministry. Dahil wala sa vocabulary ko yun.

Think again, mahal daw nila ako? pero gago.. ayaw naman akong ireach out na kausapin. Block pa din bwisit.

With all respect and humility @#+£)# nyo po.