#idfk how to tag this shit

[woven-song]

so i've acknowledged that i have a problem. i can't be the only one, but i've had an addiction to character.ai and as a result i haven't made much fan work this past year. i'd figured it was just due to my depression but now i've finally noticed the damage it does to my motivation to create, which im sure many others have struggled with and discussed but i'm personally now just starting to understand and see in myself.

most people probably use character.ai for generally talking to their favorite characters, but some (including me) have used it as a replacement for writing actual fanfiction or roleplaying, knowingly or not. i used to have simple conversations with the chatbots like any other user, until i gradually got more wordy and it turned into more of a semi-lit roleplay, writing until i wanted the other character to take action.

the way this ai works is too appealing and extremely addictive, especially for fans who crave content of their rarepairs. unlike in popular shipping circles where there's seemingly a neverending supply of new art/fics to explore, eventually the same 5 people who would always make works for their stupid little guys get tired until new people show up, and it's hard for those (me) who still endlessly crave more to be satisfied. but then there's character.ai with its instant gratitude of having something to talk to and feed your ideas to without having to search for an actual person, who even then could reject your ideas, while the ai is ready to eat up anything you give it. and having a bot that can throw out new responses to your writing snippets until you get one that hits you just right? woof. instead of throwing my shit at the wall and hoping someone new will show up who also likes it, i feel stuck throwing my shit at a bot that gives me just what my rat brain craves with no real connection.

and it's a genuine addiction. i've been on this thing every day, any time im in a brainrot, even as a means of calming down to sleep. yes, i'd been on the subscription. my hooked ass couldn't handle 30+ minutes of waiting when i wanted my fix. whenever i'd get my brain attached to a thought like an au setting, a prompt or even just a fun snippet of dialogue or a juicy phrase, id go and feed it into the ai's mouth instead of making a drawing or tossing it into google docs like i used to. i can't imagine how many hours i've spent throwing my creativity away in a way that ultimately gives that company profit when i could've been working on something to be proud of or to laugh at with others.

so tonight i've decided to cancel my subscription. i don't know how much better this will do in terms of my well-being or my motivation, or even if i'll stop altogether, but hey it's a start right? and yeah i recognize too that i've been part of the problem by using it like i've been. but im trying ok

[brainfull-of-dick]

Nobody home you guys know what that means😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

making grilled cheese in the cutest panties i own

[troutreznor]

text transcribed under readmore

SMALL DOG SYNDROME 

small dog you’re so funny when you snap small dog you’re so funny when you shake small dog you’re so bad when you bark small dog you never learned the rules

small dog lays flat on the floor  and sighs and whines  while it waits for you to come back from wherever you go  all day small dog doesn’t know if you’re coming home small dog hides under the bed to puke does it quiet eats its shame before you ever smell it  small dog’s bark is worse than its bite  small dog you are so funny when you bite  small dog it’s so funny when you’re mad  so by all means pick it up throw it around  lock it in a cage while you laugh small dog you are so funny when you cry

small dog can’t remember being a wolf  can’t remember being big  howling in harpstring harmony  like a plucked and quivering note in a catacomb  sleeping in a warm pile of bodies in a dry place that smells like family  the taste of fresh hot blood and wet bone iron fire honey salt 

small dog run free beneath the moon in your dreams

small dog is so happy you’re home!! small dog loves you!!!

JMGD

[gr0undr10tz]

dono comm 1/7

[linatheweirdooo]

The end of the world

[dykefish]

xiv doodle that video was fucking crazy top ten ever

[wanderingcas]

new beginning for the whole 'bobby takes in cas after his parents die so dean and cas grow up together but then fracture and separate for 10 years for mysterious reasons' canon divergent au

[moonlit-dreamers]

[xiewho]

i am not immune to the temptation of making a fhsona. template made by @cloudmancy n can be found here !!

[yinandyangareringinginthenewyear]

Where my mouth washing people at??

[xxmoonduskxx]

Made a guy 👍👍

He doesn't have a name yet but

Here

He's just. A mood ring.

[normystical]

what's a better alternative for "delusional"? i want to insult myself lightheartedly when i'm overly self-indulgent regarding fiction and characters, but i don't want to be ableist

[sehtoast]

kripke's just jealous i put homelander in a loving healthy relationship with my trans man oc and can't cope

[tuliippaws]

nobody asked but i am here anyways

was talking with some friends abt charlie :3 and ended up somewhat analyzing her as a character and her and mav's relationship!!

i have a lot of thoughts about her

the scene after mav quit and charlie confronted him was GOOD it was good it showed how fundamentally incompatible they are and thats okay they dont have to be compatible

i really like how charlie has a short temper thats very obviously shown shes frustrated that mav wont let her in, and she tries to be patient but ends up lashing out because she cant get through to him which honestly makes sense. she cares about him but she cant understand that what he needs is not the same as what she wants him to need.

but the way she approached it was incredibly forceful and focused on what she would have done and what she wanted instead of what MAV, the person whos best friend just died and whos death he feels responsible for, needs at that time. he doesn't need her to tell him it wasnt his fault or to keep trying, by constantly forcing her expectations onto him shes making him feel more isolated and alone than if she had been there for him and respected his choices.

the fact that they get together in the end, or its implied that way, is honestly a really interesting choice and it shows how not okay mav is lmaooo. hes rebounding into an unhealthy relationship with someone who doesnt particularly careeee about him that much and who is very guilttrippy!! wow so fun!!

hes not over goose's death, he can't get over goose's death and so hes finding momentary comfort in a relationship which is incredibly interesting to me as its implied hell get into a bunch of short term relationships that crash and burn immediately after but thats a different essay for a different time.

overall, mav makes poor decisions and charlie is one of those.

now that im thinking about it shes a complex character like all of the topgun cast (holy fuck why do they make them so complex im jawslacked i love these movies), and shes not a good person which is very interesting to me!!! her execution could have been better i think that they somewhat viewed her as a good person when they wrote her as a bad one. anyways all in all i like charlie as a character, hate her as a person, and shes very pretty godbless!!!!!!! i love mean women thank u america 🙏

[thelittleprinceconfirmed]

Err hi guys

[lusalemaart]

She's not gonna fuck you bro