#identical words against different time frames ☆ MEMES

[cardentist]

op turned off reblogs on this post [Link], so I'm reposting this over here:

it's Extremely Unfortunate that we're at the point in trans masc exclusionism where we have to be hyper vigilant against seemingly innocuous posts.

when the op of this post says "men" in this post she means trans men.

trans men who present masc before (and sometimes during and after) hrt are often clocked as butch lesbians, because they are seen as feminine bodies presenting masculinely.

while there Are cis men who present similarly to butch lesbians (there's a very famous meme about it), how many cis men do you know that are Actively Trying or Want to present like butch lesbians?

or how about the Not Insignificant Overlap between trans mascs And butch lesbians (and lesbians in general)? the amount of trans mascs who identified as lesbians before they knew, who sometimes continue to feel a connection to that community as they realize more about their identity.

when op says "transandrophobia truthers" are the exact group of people this post was made about he's talking about trans mascs. this is a post saying that Trans Mascs aren't The Real Thing. and more specifically, the "transandrophobia truther" dog whistle refers back to trans mascs who stand up for themselves. who want their trauma to be taken seriously, who want to be treated like equals within the community. [Link]

it is a derogatory term that was specifically created by exclusionists to belittle trans mascs who speak up for themselves. it is Explicitly About trans mascs, and yet it's a term that people who are unfamiliar with the harassment happening towards trans mascs won't recognize.

and the nasty thing about it is that op was Intentionally trying to make a jab to hurt and belittle trans mascs while Framing it as a support post for trans and lesbian women. people who don't Already Know are going to interact with this post thinking that it's Only a positivity post.

thinking that it's just a silly little post punching up at cishet society.

when it's transphobia pointed at trans masc people.

I've said it before, but all exclusionism on this site is the same. it's the Exact Same tactics used over and over and over again, just with different targets.

and you saw Exactly this technique with ace exclusion All The Time. make a post that seems silly and lighthearted on the surface, that's Worded like it's referring to a privileged group, so that people pass it around without thinking about it.

but the Undercurrent, is a coded message to hurt a specific minority group, to hurt the target that's Familiar Enough with their own exclusion to read the intended insult.

and by Coding It, by making it a dog whistle instead of making it explicit, it Seems like more people support their position than they do (furthering the feeling of isolation in their victims). and works to help Normalize their talking points as they slowly become more explicit (intending to convert more people).

with asexuals it was "cishets trying to invade queer spaces," with trans mascs it's "men trying to invade trans/women's spaces."

it's intuitive that queer people punch up at cishets, it's Intuitive that trans people and women punch up at men, and That's The Point.

if the op of this post hadn't Explicitly referred to trans mascs in the notes ("transandrophobia truthers"), then I probably wouldn't have figured out what they were doing. I would've felt put off by it (as I was intended to, as it was created with the explicit intent to make people like me feel uncomfortable), but I wouldn't have had reason to look further into it. I probably would've just brushed it off and moved on.

unfortunately the only way around it is hypervigilence (learning the dog whistles, familiarizing yourself with how exclusionists talk about their victims), and hoping that the hand was tipped somewhere. hoping that the people who do this give away what their real Intent was.

and it's frustrating because the Vast Majority of the notes on the original post are just people having fun. who saw a post about trans butch lesbians and got excited and happy. and it's So Gross to see someone weaponize that.

it's unfair that people Need to be hypervigilent about posts About Them. it's one of the more upsetting aspects About exclusionism.

[twobraincellkentwell]

The Last Supper

[A Game Called Revenge]

Part Seven

Series Masterlist Part One.

Summary: "ᴀᴛ ᴀ ꜰᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴅɪɴɴᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ɴᴇᴀʀᴇꜱᴛ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʙᴇ ꜱᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇꜱᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛʜʀᴏᴏᴍ."

The last supper. A time for victors to overcome their differences together and get along for the night. Or not.

Warnings: strictly 18+ due to the nature of content in some of the chapters. I don't think there's any specific chapter warnings this week, but there is the usual mentions of murder and death. Language always.

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: Enjoy a little scrappy chapter that is sort of filler but also has a lot of character defining information in there. Get to know some more information on how I imagine the reapings work in a few of the districts and what makes some of our minor characters tick. And the major ones. If I said I didn't base this chapter round that one meme of the cat at the dinner table then I'd be lying.

As always there is a reference in there somewhere and I want to know if you can find my favourite line yet again! :)

"Do we have to go?" Clio huffs, as she removes the golden sun crown from her hair.

"Yes, we all need to be there," Enobaria replies, leaning against the door frame of Clio's bedroom, "Okay yes, it was suggested by the idiot from Twelve but it's a farewell dinner Clio, don't you want to say goodbye to your friends."

"Look as much as I want to go and remind them all how much of a bitch I am, all I really want to do is wash a plate of cinnamon rolls down with a bottle of wine and-"

"There will be plenty of wine at the party." Enobaria cuts her off, snapping her fingers in front of Clio's face and gesturing towards the black jumpsuit she had fished from the girl's wardrobe, "Now hurry up, we're already late and there might not be any cinnamon rolls left."

Once in the lift to take them to the penthouse where tonight's dinner will take place, Enobaria turns to the couple, now changed from their extravagant parade outfits and in more comfortable clothing, "Tonight's ground rules."

Her raised eyebrow and piercing glare halt the interruptions that threaten to spill past the pair's lips. "You." Enobaria directs her pointer finger at Clio, "Please try not to be a complete bitch. Remember that half these people are going to be trying to kill you in five days time, don't give them more reasons to want to."

Clio doesn't protest the woman's words, shrugging her shoulders in defeat as she mutters a 'fine' under her breath. This is good enough for Enobaria, who turns her attention to Cato, "And you. Don't threaten anyone."

"But-" Cato objects but is silenced by Enobaria clicking her fingers in front of his face. "I don't care if they talk about Clio. Do not threaten anyone, do you understand me?"

He nods with a roll of his eyes, the four of them facing the doors of the lift in silence listening to the low hum of the lift as it flies up to the thirteenth floor. The silver doors slide open with a hiss, unveiling the large, luxurious dining room already coming alive with the symphony of laughter and clinking of glasses of the victors and mentors from other Districts. The flickering lights from the vast buildings surrounding the penthouse floor pour in from the floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminating the sleek, polished marble walls and reflecting against the gilded mouldings that frame exquisite paintings. Crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling, refracting the moonlight in a lavish display of wealth. An Avox stands stiff at the lift's entrance as if acting as a bodyguard for any unwelcome guests, extending a hand towards the centre of the dining room once he verifies the identity of the arrivals.

The room hushes at the sound of the District Two quartet's footsteps, the heels the two women wear clicking along the intricate marble tiles. Those sitting with their back to the elevator turn to face the noise, eyes settling on the last arrivals who hold their heads high, striding forward purposefully and exuding their usual confidence. As they step further into the room, they are greeted by the beautifully decorated dining area. Crafted from the finest mahogany, the centrepiece of the room was a large, gleaming table spanning the length of the space; resplendent with fine bone china, polished silverware and delicate crystal stemware atop a shimmering white silk runner. Fresh bouquets lie in detailed glass vases, reflecting the light of the glowing candles dispersed between every third seat. The gazes of the others, already sitting in the plush, velvety chairs, follow their moves as they near the table, scanning for available seats.

Enobaria huffs when they reach the table, realising that they're the last to arrive and so the four remaining seats are at opposite ends of the table. Grumbling under her breath at her available options, she follows Brutus to the left hand side of the table, understanding that the easiest way to keep her tributes from starting unnecessary arguments is to have them sit with the older mentors and the morphlings who will keep to themselves. However when Brutus pulls out the chair beside Luna at the far end, the redhead stops him.

"I'm sorry Brutus," she says, "I saved this seat for Clio."

Several heads around the table snap towards Luna, each mirroring confusion. Enobaria blinks twice as if she imagined those words but upon seeing Luna's small smile she realises the girl really does want Clio to sit next to her.

"Luna, are you sure?" The man asks with a laugh. The girls aren't exactly known for getting along but as his eyes scan the table he realises that the seats at the other end are diagonally opposite Katniss and that is a recipe for disaster - and he would actually quite like to eat tonight.

"Rude" Clio scoffs as she pushes past her mentor and throws herself down ungracefully, the legs of the chair scraping noisily against the marble flooring.

Brutus holds his hands up in mock defeat, walking around to the seat on the other side opposite Mags when Cato squeezes past him and slides into the chair, looking over his shoulder and pointing to the seats at the bottom end of the table, "The old people are down that end."

"Don't push it." Brutus jokes as he moves to sit beside Augustus, the seat between Topaz and Haymitch already occupied by Enobaria.

Avoxes silently circulate the room, tightly gripping platinum trays holding delicate canapés and glasses of sparkling champagne and carefully crafted cocktails. One Avox hands Clio a tall, thin glass filled with a strong, purple liquid and as she takes it from their gloved hand she looks down the length of the table. Silver platters lie between the table arrangements, showcasing a medley of delicacies from fresh seafood to cured meats and fruits acting as appetisers for the victors prior to the first course being delivered. Everyone is laughing in clusters with those around them, the conversations are friendly and good-natured - a stark contrast to how it will be in less than a week.

Suddenly the chatter stops and Clio notices everyone has turned to face Finnick who has risen from his seat, standing tall with his shoulders squared and eyes sparkling with a mixture of determination and sincerity. With a graceful sweep of his hand, he raises his glass, the crystal stem catching the glimmer of the candle light beneath, and clears his throat. "My fellow esteemed victors."

Finnick shakes his head with a chuckle as laughter ripples through the room at the serious tone in his voice, words carried with authority and his usual charm. "Before we eat, I would like to propose a toast."

Everyone nods as Finnick continues, "As we sit together for our final dinner before this year's games, I can't help but feel a mix of gratitude and sadness. I want to take a moment to appreciate each and every one of you. We've become a wild, dysfunctional family through sharing our experiences, our laughter and our tears. We've seen one another at our best and at our worst and yet, here we all are."

There are hums of agreement from all ends of the table. He's right. As much as Clio hates to admit it, he's right, everyone at this table has seen her win her games and the majority have seen both the highs and lows of her year as a victor.

"I'm definitely not one for long speeches but I would like for us to try and put our differences aside for tonight to enjoy what is, for many of us, our last meal together. I know you all have your own battles to prepare for; your own choices to make but let's raise our glasses high and toast to us."

Heads swivel around the room, looking up and down the table at the mention of it being the last meal together that most of them will have considering that the majority of people at the table are the tributes for this year's games. Clio's eyes make contact with Johanna's opposite her. Both girls give each other a small smile before Clio turns to face Luna - the girl who saved her a seat. Luna's head moves from looking in Mags' direction and the redhead smiles widely at the short brunette to her right. It leads her to thinking that if the girls weren't all from different Districts, if they had grown up together instead of meeting after the Hunger Games, they could have found themselves friends.

"Toast to our victories." Finnick flits his eyes up and down the table, making eye contact with everyone for a split second.

"Our strength." Again, his eyes meet those of the others. "Our determination."

"To our sacrifices to protect those we love." Clio watches as Finnick's gaze rests on Katniss and Peeta, drawing everyone's attention to the newest victors in the middle of the table. She rolls her eyes as Katniss keeps her head down, seemingly more engrossed in the engraving on the platinum cutlery laid out neatly in front of her, while Peeta smiles warmly at those around him. Finnick's eyes then meet Clio's for a moment but quickly looks away and resumes his toast.

"And to the friendship we made along the way." He smiles at Mags, who signs something back to the man. He then looks to his right, smiling at Haymitch who, already drinking, lifts his glass and takes a swig. His eyes then move up the table, smiling at Brutus and Enobaria; Katniss, Peeta and Chaff beside him and Cashmere and Gloss diagonally opposite. He grins at a wide-eyed Beetee and Blight before his gaze rests on Cato, lifting an eyebrow as he continues to smile. Finally, after wiggling his eyebrows playfully at Johanna sitting on the end of the table he maintains Clio's eye contact for a moment before turning to smile lovingly at Luna. Meanwhile, Clio uses the time in which Finnick is distracted to lean back in her chair and flash a wide, open mouthed smile at Cashmere who looks keen to meet her eyes from five seats down. She gets one in return before she feels eyes burning into the side of her head, and turns to find Cato smiling at her.

The sound of Gloss clearing his throat catches Finnick's attention, pulling his stare from Luna as he begins to speak again. "To those of you who I'll see in the arena, you have my support and my condolences that you have to endure the horrors of the games again. But, no matter the outcome, know that you have my greatest respect. It's been an honour to call you all my friends."

No doubt his words are directed at the tributes from the outlier Districts but Clio can't help but silently applaud the man's bravery for speaking so openly about what many consider horrific experiences. There's something nagging at her about those set of words. Support suggests that he's going to be someone's ally, she thinks, but who? Because we're yet to hear back about whether he's involved in our alliance. Clio scolds herself mentally, this dinner is supposed to be a happy send off and she doesn't want to waste the time dwelling over whether Finnick considers himself a career or not but the tone in which he said no matter the outcome is bothering her. Stop thinking about it, it's probably nothing.

"May the odds be ever in our favour and all that, not just for ourselves but for the hope that the future holds something better for the children of Panem." Finnick raises his glass higher. "Cheers, my friends."

Everyone raises their glasses in unison, eyes locked with those around them. The clinking of glasses echoes throughout the room as they toast. While Finnick sits down, avoxes weave around the room, placing the first course in front of each victor. No sooner than the hand-painted porcelain plates settle on the table, cutlery is lifted as everybody wastes no time in bringing food to their mouths. Conversation halts for a while as they eat before slowly starting up again in clusters. At her place at the end of the table with the only people she really wishes to speak to being several seats away, Clio's eyes are glued to her plate as she pokes at the food with her fork. A vibrant orange substance oozes from the poached quail egg that sits on top of the mountain of greens and seeps into the other ingredients. The balsamic vinaigrette is sharp, contrasting with the eggs and complimenting the sweetness of the thinly sliced rosada tomatoes and lilliputian beetroot spheres. The clang of her fork against the porcelain is loud as she stabs at the tomatoes in an attempt to keep them on her utensil.

"Oh my god, Clio." Luna's attention is drawn to the girl, her eyes focusing on the scuff marks now visible on the dish.

Following Luna's eyeline she comments, "It wasn't intentional."

"That's too bad then," Luna says, a sarcastic smirk visible on her face. "I could teach you a thing or two about controlling a fork if you want."

A fake, sardonic smile graces Clio's as she remembers Enobaria's rules for tonight. Not wanting to break them this early into the meal she denies Luna's offer, regardless of her intentions, "No thank you, Luna."

The redhead shrugs, returning her attention to her own meal as she remarks, "Suit yourself."

As Avoxes once again swarm the room to collect the empty plates, others immediately bring in the main course to the table now chatting animatedly. Each presented with a large portion of tender, braised ribs resting atop a bed of creamy parmesan risotto. Roasted carrots and asparagus spears lie beside the meat, doused in a red wine reduced sauce causes a shared appreciation of the food in front of them as lips curl up into satisfied smiles.

As Clio quickly slices the carrots, she wonders how anyone in the Capitol gets anything done with such blunt knives and feels a nudge to her side. Looking up from her plate, she continues to cut up her meal as she makes eye contact with Luna who has been looking at her for the past minute. "What, Luna?" She asks, "I don't think there's anything you can teach me about knives."

Luna's eyes widen as she takes note of how quickly Clio is cutting up her meal without paying attention to it. "I actually have something to ask you," she replies, "It's about what Zeus told me on the train."

"Anything that man told you is a lie." Clio rolls her eyes.

Luna nods her head gently. "I believe that," she scoffs, "But considering he's the reason I was supposed to be reaped, there's a few things I need you to clear up."

"And what makes you think I won't just lie to you?" Clio questions, bringing an asparagus spear up to her mouth.

"Because it has to do with Cato." Luna says after she swallows her bite.

"Fine." Clio responds with a raise of an eyebrow. "What bullshit did he feed you?"

"His right hand..." Luna whispers, chewing nervously on her bottom lip as she fiddles with the vegetables on her plate.

Clio's shoulders shake with laughter as she remembers the disfigured state of the man's hand, "What about it?"

"He told me that Cato crushed it out of spite. That he was supposed to be the volunteer for the seventy-second Games until he couldn't hold a spear anymore."

"Yeah Cato crushed it but I take it he didn't tell you the reason why?" Clio asks, taking a sip of the purple cocktail. When Luna shakes her head no, she continues with an eye roll. "Of course he didn't. The fucker tried to dislocate Cato's knee with a baton the month before the Reaping so that he wouldn't be able to volunteer and he could go in his place."

Luna gasps, "He- What? Did you tell anyone?"

"Obviously not. Everyone knows getting selected as the volunteer means accepting that people are going to try and injure you so that they can volunteer instead, there's nothing either of us could say. He wasn't successful anyway." Clio shrugs nonchalantly. When she turns to face Luna, she finds her jaw open in shock.

"What?" She questions the redhead through a mouthful of rice.

"People fight each other to go into the games?" Luna asks, struggling to comprehend the younger woman's words. "Who would actually want to go?"

"I did." Clio says bluntly. Luna's mouth opens and closes in response, causing Clio to snicker to herself. How fitting that the girl from Four looks like a fish, she thinks. "You do know I volunteered, right?"

"I knew that," Luna shakes her head, "But why?"

"Because I wanted the honour of winning." Clio says, pushing some of the braised meat past her lips. "There was no way I was letting anyone else become the pride of District Two."

Luna chews slowly, mulling over Clio's words as they both begin to eat again. Luna returns to conversation with Mags, while Clio finds herself smiling in amusement at Johanna's frustration with Wiress who is seated nervously between her and Cato. Once the main course is cleared, the dessert platters arrive. A variety of sweet dishes are placed along the table. Delicate ramekins of chocolate mousse each adorned with raspberry coulis and edible golden leafs designed to replicate the victor's crown. Tall towers of croquembouche threaded with salted caramel and decorated with macarons, sugared almonds and thick, chocolate ganache. Platters of creamy profiteroles and tiers of tiramisu, crème brûlée are placed alongside the plates of cinnamon rolls and pavlovas are accessorised with bowls of freshly picked berries. Finally, what I came here for Clio thinks as she eyes up the large portion of cinnamon rolls in the middle of the table. As is customary at these types of events, those sitting in the middle seats serve themselves first before the others get a chance. Clio watches impatiently as Katniss and Peeta eagerly serve themselves first, along with Gloss and Topaz who pile their plates with profiteroles. Her eyes narrow when she sees Katniss reach for a cinnamon roll, mentally counting the number on the plate and her chances of getting to one. Enobaria and Brutus are amongst the next few to help themselves to the desserts and she watches in disbelief as both of her mentors each place two cinnamon rolls each onto their plates. With a dramatic sigh she leans back in her chair, arms crossed as she thinks about what she's done to deserve such injustice of having to watch everyone eat her favourite treat.

"Are you just going to sulk or are you going to thank me?" Enobaria asks her as she slides one of her cinnamon rolls onto Clio's empty plate.

Her eyes snap towards her mentor and then towards Brutus once he speaks, "Here." He slides another cinnamon roll onto her plate, laughing at the way her eyes light up at the sight of the pastry before placing a small pot of thick, sugary syrup next to it.

"Thank you." She says sincerely as they both walk back to their respective seats. She watches Cashmere sit down with a cinnamon roll on her plate, looking defeated and whispering something to her brother, causing Clio to wonder if the woman was headed over to give her a cinnamon roll too before obviously deciding against it once she realised it had already been done.

She continues to watch as she waits for her turn to add more pastries to her plate, observing the morphlings reach for a single chocolate mousse each while Finnick is the first to break into the croquembouche, picking apart the threaded caramel and sugared almonds. She smiles to herself when he jumps back slightly as the tower crumbles and pieces of choux fall onto the plate of an unsuspecting Peeta. However, her smile drops slightly when she watches Cato slip four cinnamon rolls onto his plate, ignoring her wide-eyed glare as he also picks up some profiteroles and a crème brûlée on a second plate. Four. She follows his movements as he sits back down, transferring one pastry onto the second plate. What is he doing? She thinks but her thoughts are interrupted when he smiles at her and pushes the plate across the table towards her. Reaching to grab it, she mouths a "thank you" with a gleaming smile before loading it with the other two pastries she had been given to free up one of the dishes. As she pushes herself from her chair to finally help herself to the dessert choices, she sees Luna glide the sixth cinnamon roll onto her pile. With a grin she serves herself a helping of pavlova, neatly organising the summer berries on top of the peaks, some of the croquembouche doused in caramel and ganache and finally her own pastries. When she returns to her seat, she picks up her cutlery and as soon as she cuts into her first dessert, Luna nudges her. The redhead gestures with her head towards Finnick who holds a cinnamon roll in the air on his fork, offering it towards her. Shaking her head, she refuses his offer. I've already got eight cinnamon rolls she thinks, on top of pavlova and pastries. Finnick shrugs and everyone around the table digs into their desserts, conversation flickering quietly until their plates are empty and cleared.

As an Avox refills her large glass of wine, she spins her chair slightly so that she can see the rest of the table properly as the uneaten desserts are hastily cleared from the table. Conversation lulls momentarily before Beetee involves everyone in a discussion, "Although I have watched many tapes of the Reapings, I must ask how it works in each of your Districts. It is something I have never considered before now so please enlighten me."

"In One we're chosen the week before the Reaping." Cashmere tells them, moving her hands expressively. "To be selected as the volunteer you have meet all the aca- mentor's requirements."

Clio notices how she almost says the word academy but quickly corrects herself. It's clear by the looks on Cato and Gloss' faces that they caught her near slip up but if anyone else noticed they haven't said anything. Cashmere continues, "We're selected based on measurements such as height, proportions, strength, hair and eye colour, intelligence. Both of us topped the criteria each year but the mini prep teams we receive definitely don't hurt."

Several of the others are astounded at the mention of the District One volunteers having a mini prep team working on getting their volunteers' hair and makeup ready on the day of the reaping. It makes sense, Clio thinks they always look presentable and ready for the cameras when they volunteer.

"All it really means is that no one is blindsided by the Reaping. We aren't sending our tributes in completely unprepared and it puts the District's minds at ease if they need tesserae." Gloss finishes, taking a large swig of his wine.

"We just fight each other for the honour," Cato shrugs as he leans back in his chair.

At the shocked looks on some of the victors' faces and the not-so-surprised expression on the others', Clio offers them some clarification. "It's not some kind of free for all. It's scheduled in April to test your general fitness and your intelligence. The overall winner is then allowed to volunteer."

"Well, we just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best." Finnick says, being rewarded with lots of hums of agreement as they nod. "But for completely opposite reasons. Where you want to be picked, we will do anything not to be."

"You could've just said you're boring." Clio teases. Multiple heads whip to face her, jaws dropped open in shock as they glare at her. "What?" She laughs.

"Not all of us are trained psychos," Johanna spits, rolling her eyes at the woman opposite her.

"Bit rich coming from the girl who lied to the entire nation and then hacked people down." Clio laughs. We were getting along today but it was never going to last long was it? She thinks as she watches the woman's eyes narrow at her.

"It would be such a shame if I take to using rocks in this arena wouldn't it?"

"Speaking of the arena. Who wants to die first?" Clio asks with a sarcastic laugh, fed up with Johanna's attitude. I was only joking and she decides to bring up the rock incident. Absolutely fucking not, she thinks. The room falls silent at her words, the natural lull in the conversations at the other end of the table meaning that her voice rang loud and clear, echoing slightly in the vast space around the table. A sigh echoes throughout the room quickly afterwards and she swears she recognises it as Brutus' and the slap of skin caused by the palm of the hand hitting the thin skin of the forehead is distinctly Enobaria's. Although everyone in her immediate line of sight looks directly at her in challenge, she notices that Wiress has suddenly become very interested in the wine she had refused to drink before. Perfect, she thinks.

"Okay let's make a deal." Clio says, gaze finding Cato's as she reaches over and steals a coin from the stack Luna is nervously creating in order to leave as a tip. "If it's heads I kill Nuts, if it's tails I kill Volts."

"Sounds good to me."

At Cato's response, Clio twists her hand, moving the coin from the back of her hand into her palm. She stretches her arms out in front of her, placing the copper on the silk runner at the edge of the table. As she goes to lift her hand to reveal the answer, Johanna furiously swipes the coin off the table and stamps on it with her heel.

"Ooh, is somebody angry?" Cato taunts her.

"That's just her resting face." Clio smirks in response as she watches Johanna get more and more irritated while Wiress grows increasingly uncomfortable. Sorry Enobaria but this is far too much fun, she thinks as considers the older woman's words in the lift.

"You wonder why everyone hates careers?" Blight asks rhetorically in defence of his district partner. "Look at you, threatening people for no reason. That's really honourable" The man from Seven's fingers wrap around the blunt dessert knife, lifting it with a bend of his elbow as he moves to throw it in Clio's direction before his wrist is caught and brought to a stop by Cato's hand grabbing it tightly and forcing him to release it.

"Oh you're serious?" Cato laughs over the protests of Cashmere and Gloss further down the table.

"What's wrong Cato, not used to people fighting back?" Chaff says, leaning forward onto his elbow as he angles his chin forward to be seen from his position a few seats down.

"No I'm actually just not used to people being this stupid." Cato retorts, making Clio giggle.

"Right stop." Beetee asserts, raising two hands in their direction, palms splayed to try and placate the situation as he turns to look at the men as he addresses them. "Cato he's sorry. Chaff. Stop. He will kill you."

"I can see the vein in his forehead from here." Clio laughs as she points her finger in Blight's direction before turning to face Johanna. "I bet you think that's so sexy."

"Fuck you Clio" Johanna curses angrily.

"Come on. Either of you." Blight shouts as he picks up the knife again, waving it around. "Come at me."

"Blight! Stop!" Beetee pleads.

"I will gladly kill him for you but maybe we should save it for the arena."

"No, I want him to try." Clio replies, tilting her head to the side. "C'mon, throw it. I dare you."

"Stop!' Ven, the mentor from Four, shouts desperately. "We were having such a nice dinner and now it's ruined. C'mon-"

"He's right." Enobaria says. Her and Brutus now stand between each of their tributes, frustration clear on their faces at the violence they've caused at the table. The one thing they were both instructed not to do. "Up. Both of you. Now."

Clio and Cato both roll their eyes as they force themselves from their chairs and begin to follow Enobaria out of the dining room. Brutus falls slightly behind, using the time to apologise to the others for they were 'acting like children'. When Brutus' attention is on a visibly distressed Ven, she smirks as she makes eye contact with a still irate Blight and winds up her middle finger; pleased when he huffs angrily.

Once the lift doors have shut behind them, Enobaria grabs Clio's throat, pressing her into the wall whilst Brutus pins Cato to the wall next to her by holding his arm over his chest.

"You had one job!" Enobaria shouts, tightening her grip on Clio's neck when she tries to push it away.

"You two couldn't play nice for an hour?" Brutus asks sarcastically as he pushes Cato into the wall a little harder.

"She-" Cato tries but Brutus doesn't let him finish his objection.

"I don't care who said what right now. I only care that you've just landed yourself at the top of everyone's kill list. Congratulations."

Luckily the lift doors slide open onto their floor, leading Enobaria to release her hold on Clio and Brutus removes his arm from Cato's chest. Clio gasps for air, both of them turning to glare at their mentors, "You can't just ambush us-"

"I just did." Enobaria taunts, her intense glare stopping any interjections as she storms towards the suite and throws the door open so harshly it sways on its hinges. "Go to bed. I don't even want to fucking look at you right now."

[caniisrufus]

SPOOKY MUSE AESTHETICS

bloodied knuckles ･ tear stained cheeks ･ rust ･ a busted lip ･ claws ･ fangs ･ a bloody nose ･ chattering teeth ･ a dark space underneath the bed ･ scratching noises on a wall ･ creaking metal  ･ fog ･ dancing under moonlight ･ lips dripping blood ･ heavy breathing in the dark ･ a feeling of unexplained dread ･ a figure in a dark corner ･ dirty peeling wallpaper  ･ a bloody handprint on the wall  ･ sobbing in the dark ･ bite marks on the skin ･ eerie whispers ･ a hood covering a stranger’s eyes ･  the growl of a hidden animal ･ the sound of a blade being sharpened ･ a deep, dark forest ･ walking on the streets alone at night ･  a cobweb-filled, abandoned building  ･ eyes darting in paranoia ･ a heavy beating pulse ･  the feeling of being trapped ･ struggling to get out a scream ･ boards covering broken windows ･ a quiet graveyard ･  a gas station in the middle of nowhere ･ a road that never ends ･  heavy fog rolling in ･ the scent of blood in the air ･ eerie old photographs  ･ walking along train tracks at night ･ a chill going up the spine ･ gathering crows ･ a dusty, dimly lit study ･ mist over a deserted cobblestone street ･ ghost towns ･ shadows around a campfire ･ the sound of chanting ･ church bells tolling ･ an orange harvest moon ･ a broken down carnival ･ a dirty stuffed animal abandoned ･ wiping bloody hands on fabric ･ nightmares ･ waking up in a panic ･ a power outage ･ heavy lightning storms ･ a secret trap door ･ the feeling of being watched ･ fear from trauma ･ a ouija board set out on a table ･ an eerie doll  ･ a scream of anguish & pain ･ withered plants ･ a room that’s been forgotten & gathered dust ･ owl eyes in the dark ･ curled, dead tree branches ･ a ritual altar ･ flickering candles ･ a lantern held up in the dark ･ fear of being followed ･ creaking floorboards ･ repressed, horrible memories ･ clenched teeth ･ soft, echoing piano keys ･ an old book covered in dust ･ many pairs of glaring eyes ･  stumbling in pitch black darkness ･ being stranded in the middle of nowhere ･ tarot cards on a table ･ a trail of blood

Tagged by: stolen form @bpshirogane whoops

Tagging: steal it from m e

[justabrooklynkid-blog1]

just another muse traits meme

           repost !  /  don’t reblog

BOLD all that applies to your muse! (italics are verse-dependent)

• EYES: BLUE| green | brown | hazel | grey | grey-blue | other • HAIR: BLONDE | sandy | dark brown | black | strawberry blonde | auburn | ginger | grey / white | multi-color | other • BODY TYPE: skinny | slender | slim | built | curvy | ATHLETIC | MUSCULAR | chubby | overweight • SKIN: pale | light | FAIR | freckled | tan | olive | medium | dark | discolored • GENDER: MALE | female | trans | CIS | agender | demigender | genderfluid | other | doesn’t like labels • SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual | homosexual | BISEXUAL | pansexual | asexual | demisexual | other | doesn’t like labels • ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: homoromantic | heteroromantic | BIROMANTIC | panromantic | aromantic | demiromantic | unsure | doesn’t like labels • SPECIES: human | undead | shapeshifter | demon | angel | witch | ghost | incubus / succubus | werewolf | alien | mutant | SUPERHUMAN / ENHANCED • EDUCATION: ged | HIGH SCHOOL | college | university | master’s degree | PhD | other • I’VE BEEN: IN LOVE | HURT | ILL | mentally abused | BULLIED | physically abused | tortured | raped | brainwashed | SHOT | ASSAULTED • POSITIVE TRAITS: AFFECTIONATE | adventurous | ATHLETIC | BRAVE | careful | charming | confident | CREATIVE | cunning | DETERMINED | forgiving | GENEROUS | HONEST | HUMOROUS | INTELLIGENT | LOYAL | MODEST | patient | SELFLESS | POLITE | DOWN-TO-EARTH | DILIGENT | ROMANTIC | MORAL | FUN-LOVING | ATTRACTIVE | charismatic | calm • NEGATIVE TRAITS: aggressive | BOSSY | CYNICAL | ENVIOUS | shy | fearful | greedy | gullible | jealous | impatient | IMPULSIVE | cocky | RECKLESS | INSECURE | irresponsible | mistrustful | paranoid | POSSESSIVE | SARCASTIC | SELF-CONSCIOUS | selfish | swears | unstable | clumsy | REBELLIOUS | emotional | VENGEFUL | anxious | self-sabotaging | MOODY | peevish | angry | pessimistic | slacker | thin-skinned | overly dramatic | argumentative • LIVING SITUATION: lives alone | lives with parent(s) / guardian | lives with significant other | lives with a friend | drifter | homeless | lives with children | • PARENTS/GUARDIAN: mom | dad | adoptive | foster | grandmother | grandfather | NONE • RELATIONSHIP: single | crushing | dating | engaged | married | separated | it’s complicated|  DEPENDS ON VERSE • I HAVE A(N): learning disorder | personality disorder | mental disorder | anxiety disorder | sleep disorder | eating disorder | behavioral disorder | substance related disorder | PTSD | mental disability | physical disability | DEPENDS ON VERSE • THINGS I’VE DONE BEFORE: HAD ALCOHOL | SMOKED | stolen | done drugs | self harmed | starved themselves | had sex | had a threesome | had a one-night stand | GOTTEN INTO A FIST FIGHT | GONE TO HOSPITAL | gone to jail | used a fake ID | PLAYED HOOKY | gone to a rave | KILLED SOMEONE | HAD SOMEONE TRY TO KILL THEM

TAGGED BY: @soldatassassin & @classysassyandalotbadassy TAGGING: when you see this, consider yourself tagged!

[dathen]

It feels a little weird to start off Ace Awareness Week in the most ace-positive fandom I’ve been in by addressing something negative, but I wanted to address some common mistakes that people--especially allo authors--can make when portraying ace characters, even when they don’t intend to be acephobic.  

Most of the discussion of whether allo people can write ace characters all comes down to the same debate over and over: are you allowed to write ace people having sex or not?  With responses ranging from “No, never!” to “Yes, always!” with rarely any nuance.  But the fact is that there are just as many ways to insensitively write an asexual character in the most G-rated fics, and I never see any discussion on that.  So I’m starting one myself!

(warning for mention of acephobia and negative stereotypes about asexuality)

“Prude” and “Puritanical” 

These are extremely, extremely loaded terms, especially when applied to an asexual person.  I feel like a lot of asexual people know this by default, but when allo writers delve in they don’t have the history of weathering all the discourse framing asexuality as an inherently sex-negative identity, and how hard we had to fight for people to realize that being disinterested in sexual things for ourselves doesn’t equal judging other peoples’ sex lives.  Those words also imply some level of “this is a bad thing about this person they need to grow out of,” which takes on very ugly corrective connotations when applied to ace people.

On that note, “fluster the uptight prude, it’s fun!” is a very popular trope that I’m seeing used against ace characters more and more.  And in so many of these cases, you just have a scene of flat-out sexual harassment.  Or a scene of someone pushing past their friend’s boundaries.  Or people forcing someone to be uncomfortable because of their sexuality.  I can’t say it’s objectively worse when done to an ace character than to an allo one, but I can promise you that I’ve dealt with these exact situations dozens of times IRL and it’s miserable and each time I find it in an untagged fic played as cute and fun and hilarious it makes me feel ill.  If you’re aiming to write a fun friendship scene, maybe reach for something other than “a group of friends sexually harass the ace character because they enjoy seeing them get uncomfortable.”  And if you want to include a scene like that for other reasons, add a warning tag!

Sex-Averse =/= Sex-Negative

It’s an age-old acephobic viewpoint to treat sex-disinterested aces as if our not wanting to have sex is automatically judgment on everyone who does.  Back in the pre-discourse days, there was an amazing article about the pressure a lot of ace people feel to push themselves past their comfort levels to play up their interest in sexual things or willingness to expose themselves to it: even something like feeling obligated to listen to a friend going into detail over a hookup, out of fear of being seen as prudish or judgmental.  But having boundaries for ourselves is not an attack on anyone else, and people who have sex can just as easily be sex-negative.

“Oh but this character is a prude/sex-negative, but they just happen to also be asexual”  Why?  Why???? 

“Virgin” as an insult

Avoid using “virgin” as an insult, or as a synonym with being immature, naive, undesirable, an “incel,” etc.  I really shouldn’t need to elaborate.  This is such an accepted meme-ish fandom thing that people don’t realize how much it reinforces the idea that if you’re desirable at all of course you’ve had sex, or that asexual people have to have sex at least once to prove they don’t like it.  “Virgin” is an outdated concept in the first place!  Get rid of it!!

Additionally, “they just need to get laid” takes on nightmarishly corrective tones when applied to asexual people and, yes, is something we have to deal with constantly IRL.  

Tagging acephobic content

If you’re having characters within a fic hold these attitudes or talk like this...tag it.  I think there’s value in fiction that addresses stigma that ace people face, and acknowledging that people do treat us like this.  But it’s not something we should have to stumble into unprepared, so please give us the tools we can use to protect ourselves.  

“Sexually repressed”

This is another loaded term when applied to ace people.   Again, if you haven’t struggled through years of self-doubt because everyone around you is telling you your disinterest in sex is just repression, you just need to force yourself past it, you may not realize how terrible it can be to see an ace person painted as just being sexually repressed.  To this day, I still see posts of “there’s no such thing as asexuality, it’s just sexual repression.:  (Emotional repression is a whole different thing, we can absolutely be emotionally repressed)

You’re not a bad person or an Enemy (tm) if you’ve fumbled one of these, it’s just so deeply ingrained into society that it takes a lot of effort and dedication to unlearn--and I hope that this helps to equip people to start that process!

[troubatrain]

set it up - a. beauvillier

a/n: i started this idk 9000 years ago with three different hockey boys but i’ve never written for tito and this could be 6k words of absolute garbage but i think you guys will like it?? it was inspired when i watching the Netflix movie Set It Up, which I absolutely love because who doesn’t love a romcom. I wanna thank @nazdaddy​ for giving it a quick read like halfway through to hype me up you’re a real one!!

You felt sick.

Your feet hurt, your head was pounding and you were absolutely soaked. It started in the morning, waking up late for and having to sacrifice your morning coffee so your boss wouldn’t kill you. Then there was the workday from hell, skipping lunch to work on a project because your boss’s son had a brain the size of a raisin. By the time five rolled around, a storm had sweeped into New York, soaking the city streets on a day when you didn’t have an umbrella on hand. The subway packed, and by the time you’d gotten back to your apartment you were absolutely exhausted. You were looking forward to a night in, a glass of wine and ordering take out.

Then you were met with the sight of a pink scrunchie, sparkling against your door and stopping you dead in your tracks.

Rose was your best friend, and that was the sole reason why you haven’t murdered her yet. You’d lived with Rose since you were freshman in college, randomly paired up as roommates and you got lucky she turned out to be your friend. In all of those years, she’d been with the same guy who she met approximately four hours after you moved into your dorm. Cam was great, until one day he just wasn’t. Rose still didn’t know what happened, but after grieving the longest relationship she’d ever been in for months, she was finally ready to start dating again. Turns out, dating again, was going to ruin your life.

You furrow your eyebrows, rubbing your hand over your eyes and trying to remember if she mentioned having anyone over. You open your phone, remembering how you turned on do not disturb sometime after she sent you her tenth meme of the day while you were working your ass off.

Having Kyle over for dinner - among other things, can you stay out for a bit?

You lean your head back, letting out a small scream in frustration. You hear a laugh behind you, and you turn around to be met by your neighbor. Anthony Beauvillier was an okay neighbor. He was quiet, usually giving you some sort of heads up that he’d been having a party which was rare. You knew he was gone most of the time because of hockey, but you never cared to ask any questions further than that. One thing you did notice about your neighbor, was just how handsome he looked in a suit on the rare occasion you caught him in the elevator.

“You okay?” Anthony asks, turning his head to the side, “Are you locked out?”

“No,” You sigh, debating whether or not you really needed to drop this on him, “Rose has a friend over, and I missed her text to tell me to stay out.”

“But you’re soaked,” Anthony points out, pointing to the water that was dripping off of you, “Come by me.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that, I’ll just-” You start to decline his invite, but his eyes were kind while they were staring at you, an amused smile on his face.

“C’mon Y/N, I’ll get you some dry clothes,” Anthony smiles, opening up his apartment door and insisting you came in, “And I’m not going to cook all of this for myself.”

Anthony holds up the grocery bags in his hand, soft eyes and a smile to match staring back at you. You nod, taking the invitation inside because it beat sloshing around in your heels, “Thanks Anthony.”

“You can call me Beau if you want,” Anthony shrugs, pointing down the hallway of the apartment that was identical to yours, “My rooms down there take whatever you want.”

Anthony moves around his kitchen, his mind wandering about why he felt compelled to invite her neighbor inside. Really he felt bad, you looked like you were having an awful day and getting sexiled from your own apartment probably would have been enough to break you. Anthony was tired too, his body was sore from a rough practice earlier that day. Not to mention the team was on a five game losing streak and while Anthony knew he could be doing more himself, he knew Mat wasn’t playing up to usual standards either.

Mat was a mess, and it was starting to drive Anthony absolutely crazy. He thought he was in love, a random girl he followed on Instagram who he took out a few times. Mat thought it was something, turns out she thought it was something casual. Now, his usual cocky and charismatic best friend was just a sad shell of himself. Selfishly, Anthony wanted him to get over it because if he did then they’d probably win a few more games and Trotz wouldn’t have them skate until someone threw up.

Then it hit him, the second you walked back into the kitchen with his clothes hanging off your frame while you pulled your hair back an idea came to Anthony’s head. If you wanted peace and quiet, he could give it to you, “Does Rose do this a lot?”

“Lately,” You sigh, sitting at the barstool next to the island, “Her boyfriend broke up with and after she cried for a few months she decided to be single and that’s ruining my life.”

“What if I could help?” Anthony asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

“You don’t need to let me into your place because Rose is-” You go to tell him no - whatever idea he had couldn’t be a fix all solution for your current problem.

“My teammate Mat, he’s single, and honestly sad, but he does have his own place where Rose can spend all her time…” Anthony suggests, dragging out his last words to give you a minute to think.

“What if they don’t even like each other?” You ask, stating what you thought should be the obvious.

“We’ll just set them up on a few dates, I’ll give Mat advice that you give me and it’ll all work out,” Anthony argues back, “We’re in complete control here.”

“But then it’s not real,” You remind him, that if you told Mat exactly how to date Rose it wouldn’t be Mat dating Rose at all.

“Does it matter?” Anthony asks, “You get a quiet apartment and my team gets a few wins, “What's the harm?”

“The harm is our friend's feelings,” You say, your hands in the air while you continued to talk. You were stopped by a ding on your phone, a text from Rose giving you a fair warning that her friend was staying over. You roll your eyes, “You know what - fine.”

“Really? You’re in?”

“Don’t make me regret this.”

***

You didn’t know why Anthony had you meeting him at the coffee shop just a few blocks away from your building, but judging by the all black outfit he was sporting, something told you that it was because he was taking this set up thing too seriously.

“Are we spies now?” You ask, slipping into the chair and crossing your arms, “Because if we are you aren’t doing a very good job.”

“I’m not doing a good job? You’re wearing yellow,” Anthony says, “You could not be any more obvious.”

“Whatever, when’s Mat going to get here?” You ask, grabbing the coffee Anthony had waiting for you.

The plan was simple, Anthony knew that Mat knew who Rose was to some capacity, because Mat had told his friend on more than one occasion about how hot his neighbors were. So, you were both going to force them to actually speak to each other. Anthony suggested just telling them that you were setting them up on a date, but you insisted that if this was going to work they would have to think this happened without the will of the two of you. So you both invited them to the same place, and after you both conveniently miss your plans they would have to run into eachother.

“He should be here soon, I tipped the barista $40 to mix up their coffees and let us watch from their kitchen,” Anthony explains, holding up to his end of the plan, “Which by the way, was way more than I think they would have taken.”

“Oh I’m sure you’ll be okay,” You roll your eyes, reminding him that you were living with Rose to keep your rent down while Anthony could live alone comfortably, “Shit, I see them.”

You both got up, sneaking into the back where the barista who was working just shook her head at the two of you. You peek out, watching the scene unfold in front of you. Anthony wraps his arm around your chest, pulling you back into him, “I swear if you get caught.”

You try to push the thought about how good Anthony smelled, or how nice his arm felt around you while you tried to focus on Rose who just grabbed Mat’s coffee by accident. Mat tells her it’s his, a joke about how familiar she looked following shortly after. Their conversation was brief, and for a minute you thought maybe it wasn’t going to work. Then you saw Mat slip his phone out of his pocket, holding it out for Rose to take.

“Oh my god, it’s working,” You exclaim, Anthony’s hand flying over your mouth immediately. He mumbled something in French, and there was no way you were going to be able to make it out. Anthony’s phone dings, and he pulls it out to show a text from Mat sent promptly after Rose was out of the cafe.

I think I just asked your neighbor out.

Anthony was beaming, pulling his hand off your mouth while you both watched Mat leave the shop, “This date needs to be perfect.”

“It will be as long as you listen to me,” You say, turning around to cross your arms at him, “Because if this is going to work-”

“You almost blew our cover, I’m in charge here,” Anthony scoffs, “You’re like the worst sidekick in the world.”

“You’re the sidekick here.”

“No it’s you, you’re Robin and I’m Batman.”

***

“Here?”

“No.”

“How about this one?”

“God, no she hates seafood.”

You’d been trying to figure out where you were going to set up Mat and Rose’s first date for hours. Every restaurant Anthony mentioned just wasn’t enough, and Mat was dying for some help from his friend. Anthony was frustrated, mostly with you for not just choosing something and calling it a day.

“This is why you’re single, by the way, because these places are just meh,” You argue, pulling his laptop from his hands, “Where’s the romance?”

“I’ll have you know I’m very romantic,” Anthony scoffs, not having any of your shit, “Ask any girl I’ve ever dated.”

“Seems like they’re all gone, wonder why,” You hum, scrolling through the Google search.

“Fine, how about this? He takes her to a show because you said she loves musicals,” Anthony suggests, pulling the laptop from your hands, “After Mat sets up a dinner by his place because he’s got a sick rooftop and if all goes to plan Rose will be there all night.”

You whip your head around to look at the man next to you, a grin on his face because he very well may have nailed it when it came to a first date. It was simple, yet fancy enough to keep Rose interested, “That just might work.”

You kept your mouth closed about why keeping Rose out all night was going to work for you. You had a date with someone you matched with on Hinge who seemed nice enough and the opportunity to take him home at the end of the night didn’t seem like a bad move. You didn’t want to let that information slip to Anthony, and you didn’t know why. You didn’t like him, and you were pretty positive he was only putting up with you because you were both trying to set Mat and Rose up.

“It’s a date then?” Anthony asks, pulling out his phone to give Mat all the details about the date he should be taking his neighbor on. Anthony made it clear to Mat he’d know, despite the fact that before the other night Anthony hadn’t had so much as a conversation with Rose or yourself. However, he had you and you knew Rose better than anyone.

***

You sat across from your date, twirling the glass of wine in your hand while he talked about his family. Ben was nice, and honestly you were enjoying his company. The restaurant was almost perfect, because knowing it made your rejection list for Mat and Rose’s first date location wasn’t something you could shake. Ben had to be oblivious to it, a delighted smile on his face from across you. Your phone rang on the table, and Anthony’s number popped up for the third time that evening. You knew Rose and Mat were well into their date at this point, and you had the night planned so perfectly nothing could possibly go wrong.

“You can take that if you need to,” Ben suggests, a gentle tone to his voice. You nod, feeling a little bad for stepping away from your conversation to answer the call.

“I’m on a date,” You grit out the second you were out of Ben’s earshot, “Someone better be dead Beau.”

“We’re about to be,” Anthony huffs out, “The chef Mat hired canceled and I have all of these ingredients and I know how to cook three things and they aren’t steak.”

“Beau,” You whisper harshly, “Figure. It. Out.”

“Absolutely not, if this tanks you’re coming down with me,” Anthony begs, “Please come to Mat’s and help me.”

So you did. You loved Rose too much to let this blow up in your face because of Anthony’s inability to cook a meal. Ben was understanding, accepting the excuse that you weren’t feeling well and even offering to pay for your cab back home. You declined, because you didn’t have the heart to tell him you had to bail out Anthony.

By the time you finally got to Mat’s, you could hear a string of curses on the other side of the door and the smell of something burning. You walked in and a pan was practically on fire while Anthony turned around frantically.

“Oh my god, move,” You demand, grabbing the pan and turning down the stove, “You really can’t cook anything?”

Anthony was dumbfounded, standing in Mat’s kitchen letting his eyes wander down your bare legs. You looked good and if you weren’t about to chew him out Anthony might have said something. But you were standing in front of him, arms crossed while you waited for him to say something. When he didn’t you sighed, pushing him out of the way and getting to work.

“Make yourself useful and set the damn table,” You demand, pointing a spatula in his direction. This dinner had to be perfect if this was going to work. You relished in the silence, getting to work on the dinner that you were left to save.

“So how was your date?” You hear Anthony’s voice float back into the apartment, and you turn around to give him a dirty look, “Or did I ruin that?”

“You didn’t totally ruin it, Ben was nice,” You shrug, not really wanting to get into it. The thing was, Ben was nice and that seemed to be a rare thing to find. Sure, you could have done without the boring work talk, but it was better than some of the other dates you’d been on lately.

“Hm, just nice?” Anthony stifles a a laugh, closing his mouth immediately when your eyes narrowed at him, “Sorry. I’ll leave probably boring but nice Ben alone.”

“I used to think you were nice, you know?” You snark back, plating the dinner just as Mat slipped in to grab the food.

“Dude you’re a lifesaver,” Mat immediately thanks Anthony and you had to roll your eyes at the sigh, “Wait aren’t you-”

“Rose’s roommate, uh yeah, she cooks all the time so I called her,” Anthony rushes to explain, the idea that Mat would recognize you going right over his head in a panic.

“Well, thanks you guys really saved my ass,” Mat says, grabbing two plates and heading up to the roof where you knew Rose was probably checking her teeth in nervous panic. 

It took forever to clean up the kitchen, Anthony’s sad initial attempt to cook was disastrous. You probably didn’t help, and by the time you were done cooking you had used every pan in Mat’s apartment. You could hear Rose’s voice in the hall and you both looked at each other in a panic. Anthony grabbed your hand, pulling you into the nearest closet to the kitchen.

“Quiet,” Anthony whispers, your mind far too distracted by your head pressed against his chest to care about just how small this closet was. You were trying to steady your own breathing, the closet was small and when Anthony took up most of the space you could feel a bit of anxiety creeping in. You wrap your arms around his waist, your fingers digging into his sides to grab a hold of quite literally anything. Anthony can feel it, how nervous you were so he took a chance and carded his fingers through your hair in an attempt to calm you down just a little bit, “Just wait until they’re in his room and I’ll take us home I promise.”

You nodded against his chest, closing your eyes and just letting Anthony provide you with any comfort he was willing to give. He was a bit snarky and definitely a little too bossy but he was the best you were going to get for the moment. You hear a door click and with Rose’s giggle on the other side you knew you were in the clear.

“So you really went through all of this just for a few wins?” You break the silence in Anthony’s car, looking out the window while he drove you both home.

“I mean, yeah, when Mat plays his best so do the rest of us,” Anthony shrugs, “Don’t tell me I could be playing better, I’ve heard it enough.”

“I wasn’t going to,” You defend, your voice small, “Do you think we could get them away for a night next weekend?”

“Hot date? Boring Ben doesn’t seem like he’d sleep over until the third date,” Anthony jokes, tapping you on the thigh.

“Sort of, I have my boss’s birthday party and I just want him to hate me less,” You admit, plus the office gossip always seemed to revolve around the fact that you never brought a date anywhere.

“I think you’re impossible to hate, trust me I’ve been trying.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

***

Everything was going wrong, like very wrong. The bigger plan was actually going the way it was supposed to, Rose and Mat were off to an Airbnb in the Hamptons for a night that Anthony just happened to mention to Mat during practice the day after you cooked them that dinner. That, however, was the only thing going well for you. You were dressed up, the black dress you were wearing looked absolutely killer on you. Your leg was poking out of the slit that was appropriate for a work event and the date you were supposed to be on, but your date was nowhere to be seen. Turns out Boring Ben wasn’t boring at all, or he was just a total douche and you never realized. Regardless, you were dateless yet again, and you had to admit it was a bit of an ego killer too. You thought about not going, but after telling a few of your coworkers that not only were you going, you were bringing a date.

You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for the passive aggressive comments from the newlyweds who seemed to litter your office. You had ten wedding invitations last summer from your coworkers alone, and now you had to show up dateless for what felt like the millionth time in your life.

“Woah,” You hear Anthony’s voice as soon as the elevator opened, a low whistle escaping from his lips until he realized you were without your date, “Where’s that Ben dude?”

“He didn’t show if you really need to know,” You complain and Anthony could feel his heart break just a little.

Anthony sighs, taking a look at his watch and then back at you. You looked hurt, despite the smile plastered on your face that he could see right through. He was going to have a night in, maybe even invite over the girl he’d been hooking up with but in his heart he knew what the right thing to do was, “Give me five minutes to change?”

“No Beau you really don’t have to come, I got stood up, it's on me,” You rush out, stopping Anthony dead in his tracks.

“It’s not your fault that dude was an asshole,” Anthony scoffs, “And you look too good to not have a date.”

Anthony didn’t say another word, unlocking the door to his place and coming back out less than five minutes later in a freshly pressed suit, “No tie okay?”

“No tie is fine,” You squeaked out, watching Anthony fix the cuffs of his shirt. Everyone thinks a man putting on a suit is hot right? It wasn’t just that he looked damn good in it, “You can still back out.”

Anthony didn’t back out, in fact, he was a better date than you thought he could be. He was being a good sport, especially when you came to the realization your boss was a huge Islanders fan. He had Anthony by his side all night, no doubt pestering him about the season. You felt awful, and while Anthony had a smile on his face you couldn’t help but feel guilty for putting him in the situation in the first place.

“I met that boyfriend of yours,” Your coworker Stella says, nudging you with her elbow, “He seems like a keeper.”

“Oh he’s-” You went to deny any indication that Anthony was your boyfriend but you knew Stella better than that, and just like she did at everyone Monday morning team meeting, she was interrupting you before you had a chance to finish your sentence.

“And don’t even tell me it’s not serious he couldn’t stop talking about you,” Stella grabs your arm, and you raise your eyebrows and look at Anthony. He catches your eye, sending you a wink while he goes back to listening to whatever your boss was rambling about, “See? So cute.”

The night was going smoothly, and by the time dinner rolled around you were done for the night. One too many glasses of wine had your head resting on Anthony’s shoulder while your boss's wife made a toast. His hand was resting on the exposed skin on your thigh and if you weren’t convinced you were overthinking it - you may have thought Anthony was putting in a little more effort.

“I’m sorry my boss was chewing your ear off,” You whisper, catching Anthony’s attention, “I don’t want you to think I brought you because you’re you and he likes your team.”

“I don’t think that,” Anthony assures you, his lips just inches away from kissing on the forehead, “And he doesn’t hate you, he told me liked you.”

“He likes you, seems like everyone does,” You muse, after having gotten compliments all night about what a joy your boyfriend was you were sure Anthony was a better date than he was an actual companion.

“Better date than Ben?” Anthony asks, and you nod with a grin on your face.

Anthony wasn’t sure what he was doing or why. In the short time since he invited you into his place he only learned how annoying you can be, but he’d be a liar if he didn’t think it was cute. It was cute that you thought Mat and Rose could actually fall in love. It was cute that you never kept quiet when you were both sneaking around because something got you excited. And it was downright adorable to watch you laugh at your boss’s wife who was teasing her husband in her speech. He liked you, and he never thought about it until he saw the heartbroken look on your face when you told him your date stood you up.

“Ready to go home?” Anthony whispers, your eyes were getting heavier from the wine, and he wasn’t sure how much longer you would hold up until you fell asleep on his shoulder. Not that Anthony would have minded at all, he might even have preferred it.

By the time you’d gotten back to your apartment building, you made it clear why you limited yourself on wine at events. Anthony kept refilling your glass before you had a chance to stop him, and now he was practically chasing you down the hall because you insisted on running away for no reason at all.

“For a professional athlete you’re pretty slow,” You poke Anthony in the chest, who was currently fishing through your purse for your set of keys. He finally finds them turning them into the lock and opening the door, “Beauuuu.”

“Yes?” Anthony asks, grabbing your waist while you tripped over your heels.

“Do you think Mat really likes Rose?” You ask, the question wasn’t really for Anthony at all. It was coming from a guilty feeling that had been stewing inside of you for a few days. Rose seemed smitten, and a part of you knew a lot of those dates were just planned by you.

“He does, it’ll all work out,” Anthony assures you, because the frown on your face told him that if he didn’t he was about to have a crying Y/N on his hands and he didn’t want to be the one to make you cry.

“Promise?” You ask, finally slipping off your heels and leaning against the doorframe. You wanted him to stay, use the age old it’s late excuse for a few more hours where he was close to you. His apartment was across the hall, and asking him to stay would be silly. You watched him head out the door, turning around to give you one more look and answer your question.

“Yeah I promise.”

***

This entire thing had gotten out of hand, and Rose and Mat’s relationship was becoming a chore. You had stopped them from killing each other twice in the past week, texting Anthony almost exact directions on how Mat was going to fix whatever stupid he said. Mat didn’t know, or maybe he did and he didn’t care to say anything about how with your help his relationship with Rose would be over before it started. Now, you were hiking across the city for flowers so Mat could apologize to Rose for forgetting her mother’s name as if she didn’t talk about her family constantly. You finally got them to Mat’s wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead when a text came that rocked your world.

I think I love Mat, he literally had these delivered after I got mad at him.

Attached was a picture of the flowers, and a guilty feeling churned in your stomach while you made your way back to your place. You stopped in the hallway, looking at Anthony’s door biting your lip and thinking about what the consequences of this all really was - and it was eating at you.

You were fucked, completely and utterly fucked. It seemed wrong, like everything in your best friend’s love life was a lie you created because it was. So you panicked, and snuck away to Anthony’s without a second thought. You knocked twice, a sleepy hockey player appearing on the other side. 

“Rose is in love with Mat,” You state, pushing Anthony into his own place and walking past him.

“Isn’t that what we wanted?” Anthony asks, watching you pace through his apartment.

“It’s not real, everything Mat knows about Rose is because you told him,” You explain, stopping in the middle of the room, “We planned their dates, we did everything, and when they realize they might not as much in common as they think Rose is going to be heartbroken and-”

“So, you got what you wanted? She’s always over there,” Anthony counters back, not mentioning the hot streak his teammate was on.

“You don’t see anything with this?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows at the man you thought you knew in front of you, “That your friend is going to be with someone when their relationship is built on a lie.”

“You act like he’s going to marry her,” Anthony groans, not even realizing until after the words left his mouth about how awful that sounded. Your jaw had dropped, your eyes wide while you look at Anthony, “Wait Y/N-”

“I’m telling them the truth,” You say, a stoic robotic tone to your voice. You thought about telling Rose just minutes before you left your place, but you stopped yourself before you ratted out your friend. Now, it seemed like it didn’t matter. Anthony was going to be a selfish asshole regardless of what you did and you weren’t going to let that sham of a relationship continue, “I shouldn’t have listened to your stupid idea to begin with.”

***

You walked out of Anthony’s life after that, and in the week that’s passed since, he was miserable. He didn’t know what you told Rose, but he definitely heard the arguing you were having with her from across the hall. He knew he should have stepped in, but the way you looked at him when you left was the only reason he didn’t. You looked at him with such disdain, like the mere indication that he didn’t care about his own friend’s feelings were the most awful thing he could have done.

Maybe it was, either way the guilt was eating Anthony alive. He called, but you never picked up. He texted you, using some dumb excuse about needing to grab a package outside his door while he on a road trip but an answer never came. Hell, he even tried to email you. The only thing left to do was walk across the hall and knock on your door, if you were even still there.

“Dude you’re doing it again,” Mat says, tossing a chip at his teammate and catching Anthony’s attention, “Just go over there and apologize.”

“Did you apologize to Rose?” Anthony huffs, annoyed with Mat’s attempt at giving him any advice.

“I didn’t have to because this was your fault,” Mat explains, reminding Anthony of exactly what happened after you left his place. You told Rose everything, and after what Anthony heard as a nasty fight - Rose and Mat spilt up once they realize they actually had nothing in common, “And fuck you dude because I still apologized to Rose after that.”

“Fine, I’ll go over,” Anthony budges, stomping out of his own place and across the hall to yours. He knocked twice, hearing some shuffling on the other end. The door finally clicked open, and when Anthony was met with Rose’s face, his shoulders slumped.

“She’s not here,” Rose leans against the doorway, her arms crossed at Anthony, “We’re, uh, taking some time away from each other.”

“This wasn’t Y/N’s fault it was mine,” Anthony rushes to explain, the reality of ruining someone's friendship settling in.

“I know it was,” Rose assures him, because she’d forgiven you just three days after you told her the truth. That wasn’t enough for you to come home, because your own guilt was eating you alive, “She feels too bad, and she doesn’t want to see you.”

That was it, Rose’s words were enough to have reality really settle in. Anthony Beauvillier was a massive asshole, and the reason you weren’t back in your own apartment. He did that. He was going to have to live with that guilt. And he didn’t know how to fix it.

***

It had been a month.

You didn’t know why you knew exactly how many days it’s been since you stomped out of Anthony’s apartment and into your own to tell the truth. But, you did know that exactly thirty days prior that’s just what you did. You told Rose everything, from the stupid plan to your own stupid feelings that seemed to

cloud your judgement. She was upset, and she had every right to be. You knew that she could have kicked you out of the apartment and told you to fuck off, and she did. Three days later, a much calmer Rose was on the phone telling you everything was fine and you could come back home.

You didn’t want to, because you knew Anthony was across the hall living his life just the way he had been before you stepped into it. He was going to go out on dates with girls that weren’t you, and go off on road trips for games he needed to play. He could set Mat up with someone else if he really wanted to, but none of those things would ever involve you again. You packed your stuff, and moved into a new place after couch surfing by a few of your friend’s places.

“You’re depressed,” Rose kicks your leg from the other side of your new couch, a movie night to celebrate your new place was in full effect, “I told you I’m not mad about the Mat thing.”

“I know,” You sigh, staring at the glass of fruity pink wine Rose had brought over, “I just-”

“You miss him,” Rose muses, a knowing look on her face, “It was never about Mat and I, it was always using us as an excuse to see each other.”

“It was about you guys at first,” You defend, staring at the blonde across from you who was looking at you intensely.

“He came and looked for you, after a week,” Rose says, holding onto the tidbit of information she’d been saving for almost a month, “I think he wanted to apologize.”

“Well he didn’t so it doesn’t matter anymore,” You snap back, Rose melting back into the couch to avoid being the next stop on your rage tour. You didn’t want to care about Anthony or his stupid biceps again, but you never stopped thinking about him.

***

Anthony wasn’t doing much better, in fact, he was doing a whole lot worse. He felt like shit, he was playing like shit, and he seemed just like Mat was when he came up with that stupid plan. He tried to throw himself into hockey, push his body where it had never gone before because then he wouldn’t have to think about you. He wouldn’t have to think about how much of a romantic you were or how you helped with even if he didn’t deserve. Most importantly, he wouldn’t have to think about how heartbroken you looked when he told you he didn’t want to come clean because it didn’t matter.

Anthony was doing the same thing he’d been doing all month, stalking your social media profiles in an attempt to see if you were doing okay. He knew you moved, and if he wasn’t on the West Coast maybe he would have stopped you. A text from Mat came in, one that had him rolling his eyes.

My rooftop in twenty it’s an emergency.

***

What Anthony didn’t know was that the same text was sent from Rose’s phone to yours just a few minutes prior. You rushed over Mat’s, absolutely terrified about what you could have been walking into. Except, when you got up to the roof there was nothing. No Mat. No Rose. Just yourself and-

“Fuck,” Anthony whispers, opening the rooftop door to reveal you on the otherside. It was just you, standing there just as confused as he was by the cryptic text from his teammate, “Uh Mat texted me to come?”

A grin threatens to break out on your face, just as the gears were starting to shift in Anthony’s. You were being set up, of course not as well as you would have planned, but it was a set up nonetheless.

“You know what they’re doing right?” You ask, breaking the silence. Anthony just nods, running a hand over his face without saying a word, “I’m going to go-”

“No,” Anthony rushes out, grabbing your arm and intertwining his fingers with yours, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry? You made me cry for weeks and almost blew up my longest friendship and all you have to say is sorry?” You questioned him, waiting for Anthony to come up with something better than that.

“What do you want me to say? That I didn’t want to stop doing this because I didn’t want to stop hanging out with you?” Anthony exclaims, “Because that’s the truth. I was being a selfish asshole, and I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I feel awful for what I did to you. I was so scared to come and apologize because you have every right to tell me to go fuck myself and never speak to me again. The problem is, I want to talk to you. I want to listen to you talk about why you were a hopeless romantic, and take you home after you drank too much at a work thing. I-”

Anthony couldn’t finish his rant, because you pressed your lips against his before he had the chance. His hands were on your face, pulling you as closely as he could because he needed this kiss to show you that he wanted you. You finally pulled away, breathless while Anthony’s hands snuck down to your waist. His forehead was against yours, your noses bumping together while he whispered his next words.

“We’re not telling Mat this worked.”

“Oh definitely not, no more set ups?”

“Unless it’s me setting up our first date, consider it a promise.”

[feral-dumbass]

Speak of the Devil

James “Bucky” Barnes/ Female Reader

Summary: You tag along with Bucky to a undercover reconnaissance mission at a goth club. Smut ensues. 

Includes: Degradation, Choking, little bit of slut shaming, unprotected semi-public sex, hint of cockwarming, dirty talk, oral

Words: 4,307

A/N: This is my first fic I have ever posted on here. I hope I included all the warnings correctly. Not sure if I need to include fingers in mouth, but that happens. Title credit goes to the Misfits. Tagging @gagmebucky​ and @babybluestan​. Thanks for giving me the guts to post this! I am so thankful for you guys. 

Masterlist

The bass of Molchat Doma vibrates the walls as you search for Bucky. When you stepped into the goth club on 66th street, you were more nervous than you liked to admit. The club had recently gone under new management and is rumored to be a place for arms trafficking. It is ingenious, actually. Under all the makeup and leather, anyone could hide their identity. Take Bucky for instance. Tight jeans, a black t-shirt, some eyeliner, and a leather jacket down to his calves, Bucky is unnoticeable. Also, helps that the most identifiable thing about him is covered under gloves. Don’t even get started on the leather band and silver chain wrapped around his neck. You need to fan yourself just thinking about it. 

You also look quite different from your usual lab coat and safety goggles and Bucky has certainly noticed. He could not keep his hand off your thick fishnet covered thighs the whole way here. 

With a kiss to your cheek, Bucky had left you at the bar to check out the area. That had been twenty minutes ago and sadly, people were starting to notice you too. 

You felt eyes on you as you mindlessly scrolled through the meme group chat. Peter and Shuri were having an entertaining fight on who sent the best memes. You couldn’t handle the creepy feeling anymore. You were ready to show this creep the pretty switchblade Bucky got you for your birthday. Chin raised, your eyes met with green ones across the bar. You tried to give your best resting bitch face with dead eyes, but he only smirked and took that as his cue to swoop in. You slammed cash on the table for your blood red drink and slipped into the crowd before he could make two steps in your direction. You went down a hallway in the back which led you to your latest predicament. Where the fuck is your thick ass boyfriend? 

You have enough PHDs under your belt to know not to yell out Bucky’s name. Searching for his wide frame under the neon lights is the only option you have left as you pass the restrooms. You think finding a 6’2” man would be easy, but apparently, every alternative person wears 5 inch platforms. Not like you can really blame them. If they weren’t so expensive, you’d be Bucky’s height too right now. 

As you fill with envy for people that can fit into knee high platforms, an arm wraps around you and yanks you into a unisex bathroom. “It’s me.” Bucky’s deep voice assures before you can even start going through the defense attacks he taught you. You slip out of his hold and turn around to face him. Ignoring the fact Bucky has taken off his jacket and his muscles are now stressing the seams of his long sleeve shirt, you cross your arms. 

“Where have you been?”

Bucky blinks confused before finding his answer. “Bugging this two floor building. Why? What’s wrong?” You will tell him sooner or later. Might as well do it now. 

“Nothing. It’s just, uh, a skeevy man was staring at me far too long. We made eye contact and he tried coming over.” 

“Did he hurt you because I will-” Bucky’s already heading for the door before you squeeze his arm. 

“Bucky,” you laugh astounded that he’s so ready to fight for you. You didn’t even give him a description. Bucky lets you pull him back to the center of the room. “I slipped through the crowd before he could try anything. I’m fine.” 

“Promise?” 

“I promise. I’m fine.” You stand on the tip of your toes to kiss Bucky’s cheek but he turns his head to kiss you instead. He kisses you deeply just long enough to leave you wanting more.

“You still have your knife right?” 

“Yes, you dork.” He visibly relaxes at the confirmation. You take a hold of his chin and turn his face towards you. “You do realize you have cut on your cheek right?” It’s not too bad. A medium cut surrounded by bruising. Super serum is probably at work already healing it, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful. It’s not like you’re left with the best of first aid in the bathroom. You head to the sink to wet a paper towel with soap and water. 

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.” You glare at Bucky through the mirror. “I don’t suggest going three doors down. A couple of guards are sleeping on the clock.” He walks over and cozies up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he kisses your shoulder. “Is that really necessary. I think there’s more pressing matters to attend to.” He rolls his hard on into your ass as he kisses across your shoulder and up your neck. 

“Really?” You pry as you wring out the paper towel.

“I have been hard since you walked out in the commons.” Your face gets warmer at his confession. “I mean-” Bucky groans as he looks down at your fishnet covered legs. 

“While we’re on the subject, the eyeliner is working for me.” You’ve piqued Bucky’s interest. He meets your eyes through the mirror again. “You should wear it more often. You look so much like-”

“If you say Chase from the Covenant, I’m leaving.” Life drains from his eyes as he speaks.

“Like a man who can get into my pants.” 

“Nice save.” 

“Anyways, I say fuck it. Let’s do it.” Bucky’s eyes light up with excitement. “But clean the blood off your face first.” Bucky takes the paper towel out of your hands, scrubs the line of dried blood off his cheek, and throws it in the trash can before you can blink. Bucky turns your face to meet his lips not even a second later. He kisses you even deeper than before slipping his tongue in your mouth. You lift your hand to thread through Bucky’s hair. At the feel of your hand in his hair, he breaks away. 

“No. No. Keep your hands on the sink. I think this could be fun.” He grabs both of your wrists and places your hands on the edge of the sink. He’s moving your hair off your neck before his lips connect with it. “So pretty, baby. Is this all for me?” He mumbles before placing a hickey on your neck. His hands squeeze your thighs before snaking up your torso and kneading your breasts through your top. Lost in the pleasure only Bucky can give, you assume his question is rhetorical. You learn it wasn’t as he stops his ministrations. “Is this mine?”

You scramble to find your words. “Yeah.” Your voice cracks. “Yes.”

“Good girl.” He looks directly into your eyes through the stickered mirror as he unzips the front of your top. Bucky brings his gloved hand up to your mouth. “Bite,” He mumbles before planting multiple kisses on your neck. 

You bite down on his index finger and he pulls his hand away, leaving the glove in your mouth. He quickly takes the glove, stuffing it in his back pocket, before his right hand is kneading one of your bare breasts. You sigh at the feel of his calloused hand on your soft skin. You get a moment to enjoy the feeling until Bucky is lifting his other gloved hand toward your mouth. You get the memo without having to be told. You help tear off his glove for his metal hand and he’s stuffing it in his back pocket again. Instead of going for your other breast, two of Bucky’s metal fingers tap on your bottom lip. 

It is not like you to deny him. You take his fingers in his mouth and suck on them, giving them the same attention you’d give his dick. Bucky leaves the growing patch of hickies on your neck to growl at the sight. “Such a fucking tease.” His metal fingers press down on your tongue making you take his fingers deeper. He let’s up when he knows you are about to choke. “Can’t wait to get inside you, but first I want to see you cum on my fingers. Would you like that, honey?” His right hand leaves your chest and plays with the hem of your short skirt. 

With his fingers still in your mouth,  you nod, widen your stance, and back your ass up into his crotch. He chuckles lowly right next to your ear before his right hand is yanking up your skirt. Your skin tight skirt barely budges with one hand. 

“You gotta be kidding me?” Bucky takes his metal hand out of your mouth and uses it to yank up your skirt. You pray to whoever’s listening that your horny boyfriend doesn’t rip your bottoms off. It’d make getting out of the club a lot more messier. “This skirt is annoying me. You’ll just have to be naked for a week to make it up to me.” Thankfully, your skirt moves up your body to bunch at your waist. You don’t have time for a witty retort or to even think about how you were airborne for a second before Bucky is digging his metal fingers into your sex. At the feel of fishnet over wet folds, he pauses. “Wait, are you-”

“Not wearing panties? Yep.” 

He lets out the longest groan to date. “You’re gonna kill me.” Bucky tears open a hole in your stockings at the apex of your thighs before massaging and digging into your sex with vengence. “That’s what you’re gonna do. Forget all the highrisks missions. The stupid fucking guards. I’m gonna die because my girlfriend can’t wear a fucking decent pair of underwear.” Bucky groans and he’s… he’s being unfair as two of his thick metal fingers slip into you. He knows how much you love it when he uses his metal hand. Bucky is using it against you to sear his touch into your brain. You throw your head back onto his shoulder as he reaches sensitive depths inside you. His right hand goes back to kneading your chest.

“Wearing panties makes it harder f-for… for you to fuck me. Need to be prepared for your horny ass 24/7.” You pant in between words. Bucky raises an unimpressed eyebrow. The speed of his pumping fingers quicken to the point where the both of you can hear how wet you are over the distant music. “W-when are you not… horny?”

“I’m not even going to entertain you with an answer when I have this wet pussy to play with. ‘Sides, I’m not the one who sounds horny right now. “ Bucky’s metal thumb rubs your clit. “I’m not the one desperate enough for my boyfriend’s cock that I'll spread my legs in a public bathroom. Honestly, you just went with it? No second thoughts?” You’re too overwhelmed with pleasure to even bother a response. Bucky clicks his tongue. “That’s not good girl behavior. More like slutty behavior.” Bucky’s eyes light up with an idea. “Be a good slut and cum for me.”

“Bucky,” you gasp pleadingly. 

“C’mon, you heard me. Cum for me. It’s the least you can do.” He’s sucking on a pulse point on your neck when you go rigid underneath him. You cry out as you reach your euphoric high. 

“God damnit, you’re so gorgeous when you cum.” Bucky makes you feel the full effect of your orgasm as he continues to pump his fingers and rub your clit. You have to practically tear his metal arm off you to get peace. Both of his hands leave you and you can hear the tell tale sound of his pants being undone. 

You get a small amount of reprieve before Bucky is rubbing his dick through your drenched folds. His thick cock stimulating your sensitive nerves. Bucky’s steel toed boot nudges your stance wider and he’s dipping into your entrance just enough for you to start to feel the intoxicating stretch of him. You’re arching your back at the burn when he pulls out suddenly. You sputter as you try to find your words. 

“I don’t think you really want my cock.” He goes back to spreading your folds over his cock. The tip runs across your sensitive, overworked clit every once in a while.

“I’m literally on display for your fucking dick right now.” 

“Then say it.” Bucky nuzzles your neck and blows cool air on the patch of hickies. 

“Bucky, please fuck me. I’ve been wet since you mentioned you had to wear a leather jacket. Let me have it.” 

Bucky snorts at that. “My sweet slut. Always so ready and willing for my cock.” 

“Only a s-slut-” Bucky slides into you slowly making you feel every massive inch of him  “- f-for you.” You whimper at the feel of him as your back arches. You're trapped in between Bucky and the sink. No choice but to feel all of him. 

Bucky rumbles right against your back. “My own little whore. I like the sound of that.” He tests the waters by thrusting shallow. You’re convulsing around his cock. It always takes a few to get used to the initial stretch. He groans. “Always so fucking tight. My own personal heaven.” He hasn’t been able to stop his little thrusts, addicted to the feel of you. 

“B-Bucky,” you gasp strained. “P-please, move. Do something.” 

“Look at you so desperate for my cock. I love it. Such a good whore.” He pulls out and you could cry until he’s thrusting back in, knocking the wind out of you. You gasp, collecting enough air for him to knock it out of you again. Again. And again. It’s not before long, Bucky is setting a brutal pace and all you can do is take it. You are going lax as the pleasure makes your extremities tingly. Bucky is pretty much the only thing holding you up as he brings three of his right fingers towards your mouth. He doesn’t even have to tap on your lips. You open your mouth for him to slip his fingers inside and suck on them. Bucky’s eyes zero in on your pretty lips wrapped around his fingers. 

“What a good slut. Such a good girl. I love you so much.” His metal hand gently wraps around the base of your neck. His index finger and thumb stroke the skin right underneath your choker causing goosebumps to break out. “This looks so pretty on you, baby.” He kisses the spot your jawline and neck connect before continuing. “I think we both know how much better my hand is wrapped around your neck though.” He gives a light squeeze, slightly cutting off your blood flow, and grins at you. A broken moan leaves you as drool pools around his fingers starting to drip down his hand and your chin. “So fucking stunning. Should have got out my phone before we started.”

A light, airy feeling starts to creep into your head, kind of like your floating. Bucky’s pace never lets up and you’re close. So, so close.  A few more thrusts and Bucky is reaching new depths. You’re knuckles strain as you grip the sink hard. 

“Shit.” He grunts. His fingers press down on your tongue not give a fuck if you gag. Your eyes widen as his warmth floods you. Bucky’s pace slows and he’s pumping his hips shallowly while he cums.

 As much as you love the bare feel of him, you’re pissed. You were so close to an orgasm and he stopped. It was without clittoral stimulation too. It was gonna be groundbreaking. You actually gag on the pressure of his fingers down your throat and smack his wet wrist. He quickly takes his fingers out of your mouth and apologizes. You can’t believe you're stomping your foot while still on your boyfriend’s dick, but there’s a first for everything. You’re actually pouting as you cross your arms over your bare chest and jut out your lower lip. 

“Bucky!” You wait for him to take his eyes off your ass and meet yours through the mirror. 

He smacks your ass, squeezes it, and hums, mildly distracted. “Yeah?” He glances up and does a double take. “You’re pissed?”

“Uh yeah. Do you know how close I was before you ruined it? I-” Bucky takes his hand off your throat and uses both to dig his thumbs in the dip of your back as he shushes you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.” You’re frustrated and slightly on edge when Bucky slowly pulls out. “Don’t get more upset, but that was literally the hottest thing we’ve done. You have never looked hotter.” 

“Why would I get upset when I feel the same.” You begrudgingly agree. 

“Oh my god, you’re gonna hold not letting you come against me. You’re such a baby.” You open your mouth to defend yourself, but Bucky turns you around and lifts you on to the edge of the sink before you can start. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at that manhandling and you ignore it. While you avoid his eyes and glare at the wall over his shoulder, he wipes some of the drool off your chin. You melt on the inside and try not to show it. If you look in his eyes, you’re going to forgive him. If you look into his eyes, you’re going to forgive him. “This is ridiculous. When have I ever left you hanging? Don’t you think maybe I had a plan?” Your eyes slowly slide over to his. His eyes, still darkened by lust, bore into you. “I don’t want to see you cum on my cock through the mirror. I want you to face me, eyes rolled back, mouth gaping as I repeatedly reach all the sensitive spots inside you.” 

“You’re the one that’s the fucking tease.” You smack his broad chest. He takes your hand and kisses each knuckle. His hand then goes to knead your thighs dangling off the edge. 

“So, what do you say? Second round?” 

“I can’t believe I am saying this, but I’m sexually frustrated and still slightly mad. Fuck me before someone comes in.” He wedges himself between your thick thighs. Bucky leans down to kiss you and you thread your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, happy to get to touch him.  He eventually stops kneading your thighs, just feeling the texture of the mesh stretched across your skin. 

Bucky groans as you nip at his lips when he pulls away. His head drops down and shakes it in disbelief.  “You need to wear these more often.” He looks very serious at you and you would snicker if you weren’t about to fuck. You do smirk at him though and swirl his hair between your fingers. 

“You gonna fuck me in public more often if I do?” You wipe some of your burgundy lipstick off the edge of his bottom lip as you ask. 

Bucky’s Adam’s apple bobs as he gulps. “I-is that what you want?” He’s grabbing your ass and pulling you closer to the edge. You can feel his hardening cock against your hip. You’re so close to Bucky, you lean in just a few inches to press your chest against his and whisper sultry in his ear.

“I am constantly ready for your cock. Twenty four seven. Name a place and I’ll spread my legs. So fucking big. Feels so damn good.” You kiss right underneath his ear and then move a few inches down to suck hickey on a soft spot of his neck. With super soldier recovery rate, it won’t last long, but it sure does rile him up. He moans and it echoes off the linoleum poster covered walls. You love the vibrations underneath your lips as he tilts his head to the other side. You know his eyes are fluttering as you can’t help but to give him a few others hickies next to it. 

You lean back to admire your handiwork. Purple blotches litter his neck in between smudges of burgundy lipstick. You’re pretty sure you’ve wiped off all your lipstick on Bucky. His blown out pupils watch you like a hawk, hands digging into your ass. He’s rubbing his hard on into the crease of your stomach and thighs and he doesn’t even know it. “C’mon, I want to feel the ache of you tomorrow. Fuck me like the whore that I am.” You feel a chill run down his spine before he finally takes action. 

He rolls up his sleeves and of course, because your chest is now facing him, he needs to leave a few hickies on them. As he guides his dick to your entrance, you wrap your legs around his waist. Bucky momentarily ceases the hickies to watch your puffy folds easily accept his wide cock. Both of you are groaning at the feeling. 

“Your pussy’s so wet for me. Fuck.” Bucky’s too turned for a filter. You keep your edging comment to yourself and kiss his sweaty temple. The edging thoughts stewing inside are knocked out of you as Bucky fingers trace the place you two are joined. He uses the excess of your combined wetness to rub your clit. Pleasure makes your toes curl. 

“Not what I meant when I said fuck me, Bastard.” You can’t get Bucky to move his hips without falling on your ass. He seems perfectly fine to have you warm his hard dick as he kisses and leaves hickies along your collar bones. Your free hand grabs his bicep and you’re close to coming already. 

“Yeah. Your bastard.” You can feel him grin against your skin. You’d comment if you weren’t about to cum. 

“C-close. Please don’t stop.” You gasp out, begging as the rise of your orgasm hits. You’re squeezing Bucky while in your peak. He almost groans as loud as you’re moaning.

“You’re so gorgeous. Love when you convulse around my cock, honey.” He kisses your cheek momentarily before going back down to your chest. He starts pumping his cock in and out of you. This time literally knocking the wind out of you. You’re oversensitive from your orgasm and he never truly let you come down from it. Bucky is certainly making his promise. You’ll feel him in your guts for the next few days. Your hands run through his hair and pull on the ends. His mouth finally detaches from your chest as he moves with your hand. He lets out a full blown out moan that makes your heart pound. Bucky always lets out the filthiest moans when you pull his hair. You fucking love it. His metal hand leaves your ass. He grabs a hold of the edge of the sink as he pace picks up. 

As much as you love filling all your wet dreams with the hottest audio ever, you don’t have the strength to keep your arm up for long. Your hand drops to his back. His muscles ripple underneath your fingertips as you dig your nails into his back. Both of you panting into each other's ear. Your legs shake at the approaching orgasm. 

“I know you’re close. Be a good whore. Cum on my cock. I’ll wait for you.” He rubs your clit even faster. 

“FUCK.” You’ve never been happier for loud music blasting through the club’s speakers. An intense orgasm takes over you. White dots fill your vision as tears collect at your waterline. With how hard your gripping his cock, Bucky isn’t far behind. He can only get in a few more thrusts before he’s cumming again. He bites into your shoulder and groans. Shivers wreck down your spine as his warmth fills you for the second time tonight. Bucky lets the sink carry his weight as he grips it hard. 

There’s a groaning protest before a chunk of the sink falls off. You’re there to block him from falling. He pulls out and moves you closer to the other edge, away from the crime scene. You look over your shoulder. Thankfully, he didn’t break off any of the major plumbing parts. Water spraying everywhere would make looking yourself presentable a lot more harder, but maybe that could have been your excuse. Oh well. 

You turn back to Bucky. He’s still holding on to the broken piece of sink. Both of you break out into giggles as he throws it in the trash. 

“I can’t believe you did that.” You’re grinning ear to ear as he tucks himself back into his boxers. 

“I can.” Bucky shrugs. “I don’t think you get how tight you get when you cum. Me breaking things during sex is not new.” 

“My back. Our nice bed frame. The ottoman in the commons… Can’t forget the multiple tables. Shout out to Tony’s dented Acura hood.” You pull Bucky’s shirt to get him closer to you. You kiss him before he speaks. “Are you trying to seduce me?” 

“If you fuck me again, there won’t be a sink left.” 

He hums and rubs your thighs. He’s definitely addicted to the feel of the fishnets stockings. Good luck trying to get his hands off you for the rest of the day. “You have a point.” He drops to his knees. 

“What are you doing?” He’s spreading your thighs wide in front of his face.

“I can’t let my cum drip down your legs out there. That would be irresponsible of me.” That's all the explanation you get before he’s burying his face in between your legs, stubble scratching your inner thighs. You gasp as he licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit. Fuck what he said. You’re the one that’s gonna die. Bucky is truly your horny bastard. 

[mikanyuzu-26]

Is Chapter 139 of Attack on Titan being messed up deliberately?

*Views are my own. I barely post anything on social media but I feel the need to express my thoughts as a long-term AOT fan.

You need to be a genius in getting everything wrong. As a reader who has been following the series for 8 years, the frustration and disappointment the recent chapters brought me are beyond words. The series Attack on Titan has long been known for its well written plotline, with pieces of hints eventually leading to the reveal of mysteries, ranging from the identity of enemies to the origin of titan. Isayama the author is more than capable in building a story, as evidenced by the carefully arranged setups and successful characterization in 130+ chapters. Probably echoed by other readers, the story surprisingly went downhill since Chapter 124 (aka the alliance arc) when pacing becomes slow with no major progress in overall plot. Eren who is the supposedly main protagonist is nowhere to be found in most of the chapters, let alone his inner thought. The conclusion in Chapter 139 is even more confusing, showing clear disconnection with previous chapters and major characters being OOC. There are fans who are kind enough to summarize the inconsistencies.

Chinese netizens’ comment on the story quality

I would interpret the bad writing in Chapter 139 as intentional, with two possible reasons, or both: 1). To betray and hurt the readers as expressed in his interview. He is free! 2). To passively protest against a plot change by his editorial team

“I was a big fan of Game of Thrones, so I can relate to the feelings of those fans who were disappointed with how the series ended. But when I’m drawing, I’m expressing my own feelings, and I think as long as I’m doing that, my fans will be able to accept whatever ending I come up with for them”. The question is – was Isayama hinting at a GOT-like ending that expressed his true feeling? Looking at his response at this point of time, was he foreshadowing a disappointment?

Personally I am a believer of (2) – the plot was hijacked. I see the pacing issue starting from Chapter 124 as Isayama and the editorial team trying to buy time in reconstructing the plot. This is the period when multiple minor subplots (e.g. Connie’s mom, Aruani, conflicts with Yeagerists like Daz, formation of Alliance, Reiner’s mom & Annie’s dad) are introduced and closed off shortly after, while Eren is nowhere to be found.

Also note that Isayama did not even show up in the interview/live stream after the end of the manga in on Apr 10 and Apr 14, 2021. The editor represented him instead. It was also revealed in the most recent live stream that the editorial team had quite a lot of influence over the plot, in which they changed the last few pages of Chapter 139.

As many of you have already raised, early chapters already mentioned the “only way to put a final end to the cycle of revenge” is to do a full rumbling. I believe this is the first draft of the ending of the story as this idea has been expressed more than once directly out of the mouth of Eren.

The other possible change is the way of how Ymir is being freed. In earlier chapter, Eren clearly understands what Ymir has been waiting for 2000 years in Chapter 122, and this is also the reason why Eren is able to start the rumbling in the first place. The possibility of Mikasa freeing Ymir is not being introduced until Chapter 138 (or 139), and certainly comes out of nowhere as the only people outside of path who have seen Ymir are Armin and Ramzi.

How is Chapter 139 being intentionally messed up? The inconsistencies above suggest that at least two plot twists are only being decided at the very late stage of the story. • Eren’s true intention (Eren Requiem vs. full rumbling) and the reasons behind • What Ymir wants

Throughout Chapter 139, there are definitely better choice of words which even average Reddit/Twitter/Tumblr users were able to re-write in the past few days. However Isayama just somehow chose the worst way in presenting the story as if it is a shoutout to readers. The presentation also makes Chapter 139 memorable, though not in a way most have expected.

“Why Mikasa?” “Well…only Ymir knows that one…” When I reread Chapter 139, it seems to me that Isayama is not trying to shy away from admitting the plot change. The disbelief from Armin’s way of saying “Huh? Did you just say Mikasa?” is an analogy to the readers’ reaction due to the lack of interaction between Ymir and Mikasa before the last panel of Chapter 138. Eren is also drawn with a resigned expression. If this is an over interpretation of the frame, Eren’s next response “Well…only Ymir knows that one…” directly points out how the statement lacks a clear and sound reasoning. You can translate it into “Well…only [the company/my editor] knows that one…” or “Nothing I just want to throw this in”. Isayama clearly knows what he is writing and indeed “only Ymir knows that one” becomes a meme.

Also to add that prior to Chapter 139, Ymir has always been a parallel of Historia/Krista, not Mikasa, even as early as Chapter 51, but this plot was just somehow nowhere to be found eventually.

Why Rumbling? The most disastrous consequence of a plot change, from wiping all history and civilization (that has been repeated in his conversation with Historia in Chapter 130 and his internal monologue in Chapter 131) to an Eren Requiem, is that it takes away all the justification and rationale for Eren to eliminate 80% of the population in the first place. Whether or not Eren executes the rumbling and dies willingly, the world will still be in conflict and future generation will remain in the forest. If the plan is to free Ymir, a better way is probably just asking Mikasa to chop his head off. That saves humanity (Ymir likes drama, after all!).

Isayama could have easily used phrases like “I just want to move forward” but he put “I don’t know why, but…I wanted to do that…I had to”. This is also Isayama speaking from the Eren – he does not know why Eren is doing rumbling just to achieve the 80% plan. He just “had to” draw it.

“10 Years, At least!” This is probably the most debatable and dramatic part of the chapter. Eren expresses his love to Mikasa but the scene is presented in a way as if it is a kid throwing a tantrum. In addition to that there is Armin’s comment “Oh ok…I didn’t expect something that pathetic..” as if it is again, the readers’ comment. The scene is portrayed in an unbelievably comedic way, especially when you compare it with Eren’s conversation with Ramzi in Chapter 131, which is supposed to serve the same purpose in showing Eren’s human/soft side. Most importantly, freedom has always been Eren’s core value throughout the series. The outright contradiction this line shows only makes the whole idea of this panel questionable.

Character Regression Needless to say, characters’ behaviours surprisingly regress back to the first arc, wiping out all developments throughout the series. The worst thing is it even kills the hype of re-reading the manga as you know the characters never grow, after all the sufferings and hearts sacrificed. Examples include: • Eren is still a crybaby • Mikasa remains trapped by her relationship with Eren and the scarf • Historia is not living proudly for herself after the Uprising arc • Reiner sniffs Historia’s letter after going through depression and wars (there is even a petition online asking Isayama to change this! You see how problematic this is.) • Jean and the horse joke

Almost everything that could possibly go wrong is wrong in 1 chapter These are written by the man who have been writing good chapters in the past 10 years. Can you believe it is just a lack of sense?

• “Thank you. You became a mass murderer for our sake.” • The “poop” that Armin gives Eren (Isayama likes using meme right? :P) • Eren’s face when he is punched

Is this the High School AU style?

Compared to Chapter 112...You can tell the difference.

The way how the fandom views Chapter 139 is certainly very divided, but even amongst those who like it, most still think “things could have done better” (source: SNK Chapter 139 Poll), showing how awkward the style is compared to previous chapters. The inconsistencies in character portrayal and plot are too hard to ignore. It pains me to see a well-constructed and reputable series, one step away from legend even just with an average ending, closed with a chapter that almost defeats the purpose of the rest. Trust in Isayama – while he can build a legend in 10 years, he can also take it down with 1 chapter.

By the way, Levi is one of the few characters who isn’t ruined. Probably also a conscious choice.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @upgradebitch

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bucket shape, with moon as the handle of the bucket. your saturn is in the 12th house, hence matters regarding your mental health and spirituality will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.

your dominant planets are jupiter, mercury and the sun. you are surely very smart! you have a great sense of humor, you're very witty and intelligent. you may also have lots of creative and innovative ideas, or at least you're very creative.

your dominant sign is aries. you may have a reputation for being impulsive and straight-forward. you don't like beating around the bush, especially when people purposely get on your nerves. on the other hand, you're very loyal and generous when it comes to your loved ones. you're very opinionated, and you always wanna make sure that your voice is heard. you're proud of yourself.

your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.

🌎 ascendant in virgo, 16° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and saturn

you have a practical approach to the world. you’re kind of logical, it’s hard for you to improvize. you always want to keep everything neat and organized, at least in your mind. you could have a natural coldness to your face. you may seem a bit older than you are, or at least very mature and responsible, even though you may be more outgoing than you look due to your many sagittarius placements. with your attentive eyes, you pay attention to every single detail you see. you’re a perfectionist, and you always want and try to be at your best state. I would say you’re quite competitive when it comes to your goals, but you don’t really do it to be above others. you do it because your obsession for details kind of stresses you out. improving and proving yourself is a way to boost your self-esteem, you feel fulfilled when you can achieve your goals. you are extremely intelligent and logical, you’re always up for a deep talk or simply for an occasion to gain more knowledge. you like being smart, you always want to know about everything. even the latest, trendy meme counts for you. your nature is very cautious; you’re rarely impulsive, you always think deeply about your decisions, as you don’t want to commit any mistakes. because of that, you can be particularly picky. not only with material things such as movies, books, food etc. but even with people. it’s hard for you to open up to someone you don’t know at all. you take things slow, both in friendships and in relationships, just to preserve yourself. you may come off as kind of snobby, but you’re just misunderstood. you don’t like flaky bonds, you need security in your life. physically, as I’ve already mentioned before, you have this kind of strict look on your face. your eyes may be almond-shaped, and you could have a natural feline gaze. overall, you have something smaller about your features; you could have thin lips, a small nose, small eyes… you could have a smaller frame with thin bones, and you don’t gain weight easily. you may be of average height, and I’ve noticed that most virgos tend to have pretty long legs? no matter if they’re tall or not, their legs will still be longer than their bust.

virgo ascendant opposite pisces mercury: you appear as a very intelligent individual, and people may even feel intimidated by that. you love interacting with others; even if you're not much talkative, you like hearing about others' theories and opinions. you could also do that by reading blogs, books etc. you may sometimes find yourself in conflict with others, as you’re very opinionated and hate it when others’ opinions are baseless. pretty much, you could seem like a know-it-all. on the other hand, you have a nice sense of humor, you're able to light up the room with your words, even though this quality of yours may be overshadowed by introversion at first. it's hard to find a way to make you come off as more gentle, as you have some of the most fiery and blunt signs in your chart. the fact that your mercury is squaring your pluto doesn't help either. you could take advantage of your astute words and sense of humor to get you out of troubles, though! just be careful not to claim that everything hurtful you say is a joke. it's something that aries placements do a lot.

virgo ascendant square gemini saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. luckily, I feel like the effect of this aspect is mitigated by your moon in leo, which makes you extremely confident. you may not be the most confident person on earth, but you're not the most insecure either. this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

virgo ascendant square sagittarius pluto: you're aware that the world is too nasty for your honesty, hence you may have trust issues. even though you are friendly, you're very picky about who you decide to actually call your friend. you may constantly feel lonely, as if no one were willing to listen and understand you. you live with the fear that others may take advantage of you, hence you end up doing it yourself, unconsciously. you may be controlling, but your chart hints that it's not too much of a big deal. you may have the tendency to do it sometimes, but it's mostly a bad trait of your past life. the universe is testing you to see if you've learned your lesson or not. you have all the skills to avoid this type of behaviour now that you're aware of it.

🌞 sun in aries, 4° / 1st decan ruled by mars

even though you enjoy the idea of love and relationships, your independency is what matters the most for you. you possess strong leadership, which makes you aspire for the best positions in work, school, marriage etc. you don't want to lower your standards. aries have the reputation of being fearless, and that's mainly caused by their impulsiveness. in fact, if they actually thought before acting, they wouldn't be aries lol. some people may even define you as selfless, as you literally put yourself in danger or in awkward situations just to say what you truly think, even if nobody asked. it's apart of your nature, you don't want to go unnoticed. you probably lose your temper when someone challenges you (and it may happen often, to be honest). you hate routine; you always try to spice up your daily life a bit by meeting new people and trying new experiences in general. you enjoy having fun, partying, travelling... you thrive in social situations. you may have troubles making right decisions, as you're quite indecisive. but, once you do choose, no one is gonna stop you from achieving your goals and showing the world who you are. in fact, you gain confidence from your assertiveness, making you pretty proud of your persona as well.

aries sun square cancer jupiter: this is a hard aspect, which could make you feel even more proud of yourself due to your fire dominance. you may feel like the universe is constantly against you, especially with your pessimistic virgo rising. you may feel unlucky, or even overindulge in things you like to cope with sadness or anger. you may have the tendency to overeat, buy useless things etc. you go from having a low self-esteem, to even looking very bossy without even realizing it. you struggle to keep your identity balanced, even though you might have not been aware of it at first. to achieve fortune and joy in life, you need to work hard for it. to do so, you have to learn your karmic lessons in this lifetime, which probably revolve around family issue and their impact on your interactions with others.

🌙 moon in leo, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by the sun and mars

when you're with someone you feel comfortable with, you become a social butterfly. even though it may seem like you're looking for attention, it's not your priority. you're so charismatic and bubbly that you get naturally noticed. this is the most trustworthy leo decan, and also the most benevolent. you can be quite dramatic when you express your reactions; e.g. you scream when you're angry, or maybe you get really loud when you're excited or happy about something. you could also vent your emotions punching things, for example. just like the sun, the heat of your emotions needs to be felt by those who surround you. you'd do anything to help someone, especially with your aries sun. you just want the best for anyone, even though people may take advantage of this generosity of yours. in addition, you could hardly ever say no, especially to people you're not close to. your heart is aligned with your feelings; you're naturally kind-hearted, you're prone to say things as you feel them. on the other hand, you may not be aware of how your thoughts may influence others. you're also very artistic! you might be into drawing/painting, or at least into art history, or maybe literature, poetry etc. anything that involves creativity and self-expresssion. you can be quite egotistic regarding your emotions: you always try to interpret people's feelings, so you get deeply upset when people don't understand you, especially when they don't even try.

leo moon square taurus mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent, especially since your pluto is located in the 4th house, which is about family and home. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around. you don't seem strong, you're just exposing your weaknesses in this way.

🗣 mercury in pisces, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by neptune and pluto

you have the potential to be very focused on something thanks to your virgo rising, but your heavy pisces influence may interfer in that. in fact, you probably lose yourself in your own thoughts very often, starting daydreaming instead of doing what you have to do. you’re very creative and artistic, and you’re also able to fully convey your emotions in your words, even though it may be perceived as confusing sometimes. that’s because not everyone is as empathetic as you are. on the other hand, you may have the tendency to lie, or just being confusing in any way. you may not always express what you want crystal clear, as you want to able to modify the story just in case you encounter some hardships. also, you never truly express your feelings, probably out of fear. probably, the way you elaborate your thoughts is also influenced by your family and the impact they had on you. you’re always vague, and you keep your private matters for yourself. pisces is a mutable sign, so you may also find yourself changing ideas often, your mind wanders from one thought to another. you are very intuitive, and you may even have some sort of psychic talent. you could do well at reading tarots, birth charts etc. your voice is probably naturally loud, it's hard not to listen to you. also, since your mercury is squaring pluto, you could be quite impulsive sometimes and say things you actually don't mean. you could argue often with others due to this trait of yours, you get defensive very easily. on the other hand, you most likely have a nice sense of humor at least.

pisces mercury square sagittarius pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.

❤️ venus in aries, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by mars and jupiter

with venus in aries, loving you is an adventure. you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. this placement may even give you the reputation of being a player, but I don't think it's your case based on your others placements. you have to understand that relationships can get boring, but that's not necessarily a red flag. it just means you two are starting to feel comfortable together. you also enjoy physical contact, therefore cold partners are a no no for you. you need someone who's affectionate yet bold, and that would spoil you with attention and gifts. you enjoy the little things about love, such as remembering your anniversary or even giving you small presents, especially if they're homemade (like breakfast, poems etc.). you also try to avoid flaky people, as you don't like making relationships seem too light.

☄️ mars in taurus, 16° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

with taurus mars, you may actually despise working too much. you love challenging your mind, but you're kind of lazy. you'd rather stimulate yourself through your hobbies and interests rather than using school / work, which are quite stressful for you. you need to find something material and concrete to motivate you and make you assertive. you could study just because you need a good grade, or maybe work just to get paid. you don't really do it with interest, as you care more about nurturing your passions than responsibilities. you're not really into conflicts; you'd rather be peaceful with everyone, as you find it a waste time to argue with someone. most taurus mars tend to be quite passive, yet I don't think it's your case. I imagine that with your heavy fire energy, you've got a hot temper. you may try to avoid conflicts, but once someone gets on your nerves it's over for them. you're very unpredictable from this point of view, it's hard to decipher you. you may be more verbally assertive than physically, though.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in virgo. you appear as someone intelligent, possibly judgmental and critical. in fact, you’re a perfectionist, and most of the time you appreciate it when someone takes care of themselves just as much as you do. you’re also particularly pessimistic, and this could be annoying for those around you. you’re very logical, even though you probably don't lack intuition thanks to all the water energy in your chart. you’re very pragmatic, and you may even be judgmental. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 7th house: you come off as a very outgoing, sociable person. you may be quite sensitive, or at least you care about what others think of you, you could need reassurance often. you probably love having people around you, and you also want to build your own family in the future.

your 2nd house is in libra. you find beauty and aesthetic in material things; you most probably love clothes, art, music… anything that isn’t exactly a priority in life, but that allows you to express your personal taste, which is very refined. with this placement I’d suggest that you should pursue a career that allows you to express your creativity, as arts and beauty allow you not only to make money, but also to increase your security and confidence. you could also spend money in venusian things like clothes, make-up, decorations and anything that involves beauty and aesthetic. with mars placed in this house, I feel like you may be very fond of money. you could do something just to earn material things from it, like money or any other good that satisfies your wants. you may be quite materialistic, you enjoy the finer things in life, or at least you want to be financially stable. you like the idea of saving money, but ironically you may be too impulsive when it comes to finances and spend money in random things you may not need.

your 3rd house in scorpio. you probably love witty jokes and sarcasm. you’re extremely honest when you think and speak, and most of the times you have no problems expressing your opinions. you could possibly be very good with words and be good at convincing and manipulating others. usually this placement makes someone kind of mischievous when it comes to words, but I think that with all the jupiter influence in your chart, you’re able to control this in order not to hurt others. your mind is very deep, you’re probably not really into small talks. you may also love anything that is considered taboo, like astrology, horror, nudity, death… you’re also quite secretive, you’re seen as an enigma. you don’t want to share much about you. last but not least, you value honesty above all. you only speak the truth, and hence you also want it back. you may as well be into conspiracy theories, science and anything that can expose what’s behind the universe, the government etc.

your 4th house is in sagittarius, with also pluto placed in this house. you could come from a foreign place, or perhaps you moved houses a lot during your childhood. perhaps, you have someone in your family that is from a different culture or religion from yours, or perhaps they’re able to speak more than one language. your parents could have been very successful at school, they could actually be professors. you might’ve always been a smart kid, you could’ve grown up learning more languages and you were most likely good at school too. you also got to make lots of experiences during your childhood, you might have travelled a lot. your relationship with your family is most likely very good. it could be that there might have been a few misunderstandings between you and your parents, but nothing too serious. maybe, they could have been a bit distant, it could be that they had to travel a lot for work and hence you felt lonely; or maybe, it's the opposite, they were a bit too affectionate and overwhelming, possibly possessive too, and you may have been babied or spoiled a bit too much. yet, this didn't really affect your growth and mentality, so it's probably nothing important.

your 5th house is in the sign of capricorn, with also your neptune placed there. capricorn usually brings a feeling of seriousness to the house it’s in. I don’t think it’s your case, though. in fact, neptune, is also placed in this house. you could be a bit more introverted, probably you’re not the type to frequent clubs, parties, etc. you’re more serious from that point of view. your hobbies could actually drain your energy for you; let’s suppose you’re into videogames. you could literally spend the whole day playing videogames, as you take your hobbies very seriously. you’re not the type to start a project and then leave it, and it could be helpful considering that your sagittarius moon gets bored very easily, you’re very resolute. also, you most likely have 'mature’ hobbies; you could be into politics, economy, history… you could be into slower types of music, for example, or perhaps you like reading about world issues. with your children you may be quite strict, as you see them as a responsibility. also, you may often be attracted or attract older or more mature partners. you’re most likely a very romantic and artistic person, you may be fond of music, dancing, singing, acting… anything creative that stimulates your senses. yet, you may be a bit picky when it comes to hobbies; you probably only like reading specific types of books, you only listen to a certain music style, and so on. you may also be into spirituality such as psychology, astrology, law of attraction, yoga, mediation, etc.

your 6th house is in aquarius, uranus is also sitting there. people with aquarius in their 6th house need to change their routine throughout your life. probably, when you were you younger they taught you things that aren’t healthy for your body and health. you may have to change your diet, your medicines… also, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. I don’t think you do it too often, but it may still happen due to your virgo and mars dominance in your chart, but for example you wouldn’t mind skipping a day of school or work to play videogames. this placement also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden. you could also develop unexpected diseases. you may pursue a career that looks unexpected for you at first, something that you never thought you'd do. it will most likely be a creative, artistic job. it will be a very pleasant job, it won’t even feel like a duty to you as you’ll choose a job that you like and that you’re passionate about. regarding your health, throughout your life you may often come across sudden health problems, illnesses may come out of nowhere.

your 7th house is in pisces. your mercury and sun are also sitting in this house. with this pisces descendant, you attract people that are pretty much very intuitive and soft; they could have pisces placements, or at least they’ll be extremely artistic and emotional. yet, you may as well surround yourself with 'broken’ people. that is, people that aren’t exactly in the best state of their health, whether physically or mentally. neptune, the ruler of this house, is in the 5th house. you could meet them in a fun situation, like a party, a vacation, a night out… any situation where you’re supposed to be chilling and having fun, you may meet your future spouse there. also, in a relationship you probably hate feeling suffocated. while your pisces descendant may make you enjoy skinship, you may sometimes also need your space, you still need your freedom, especially since your sun and venus sign is aries. also, pisces makes you idealize your crushes/partners way too much, to the point that you create an image of someone in your head that turns out to be the opposite at the end. you ignore your partner’s flaws, as they seem perfect to you. aries people are usually too independent, they tend to be quite selfish and neglect relationships, but luckily having your personal planets in your 7th house balances everything out. in fact, you are more considerate of people than other people, you like sharing time with others without losing your individuality.

your 8th house is in aries, with also venus placed there. generally, people with aries in their 8th house are very confident when it comes to taboo topics; they have no problems showing their interest in them, especially with people they're intimate with. thanks to venus' presence in this house, you're not afraid of darker topics and embracing them. for example, you could have lots of sex drive. you constantly try to improve yourself by coming up with new projects, you love challenges. they help you growing up into the person you want to become. you may come across some hardships regarding yourself, your identity. but, when you face those fears and start loving yourself, you’ll naturally become more mature and 'transform’. you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same times you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover. you find yourself being more attracted to 'darker' types; that is, you may be into bad boys / girls, someone with an edgy / grunge aesthetic. last but not least, this placement can also indicate that you're going to have a peaceful death, you're going to die later in life.

your 9th house is in taurus, with also saturn and mars sitting there. with this placement, I feel like you may use your intellect to gain financial security and material possessions. while this is a good thing, as it helps increasing your confidence, don’t forget that your intellect is more important than money or any other thing. don’t underestimate it. you’re totally capable of learning and understanding things by yourself, hence don’t wait for others for help. you should start dealing with your own experiences alone, without anybody else’s help. this placement can also be someone a little close-minded; in fact, you're probably very stubborn and firm about your beliefs. you hardly ever allow others to change your mind. saturn here could make it hard for you to step out of your comfort-zone, you may be shy and therefore you could often miss out on important opportunities in your life. luckily, you're going to get more assertive as time goes by, and you will feel free, you just need to grow more mature. you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world.

your 10th house is in gemini, with also your jupiter there. you may actually pursue more than one career throughout your life! you’re very flexible and skilled at multi-tasking, so you probably wouldn’t feel stressed about it. perhaps, you could alternate a creative profession with a more logical career, like working in an office for example. also, your suitable jobs should include communication and creativity at the same time; you could be a writer, for example. or perhaps, you could keep these two things in two separate jobs. what matters is that you use words in both of them, and hence you could even be a judge, a singer, a translator, etc. you may also have to interact with other people in your job, I don't see you working from home for example. you could even work as a teacher, or even professor since your jupiter is strongly placed in your chart. you may also be very popular on your work place, and you may even be in the public eye for your job. last but not least, you may have to travel for your job, perhaps you work abroad or you need to deal with foreign people and cultures. you may also need to speak other languages for work.

your 11th house is in cancer. this placement indicates that your friends, they’re your comfort-zone. you feel understood when you’re with them, they’re pretty much like a family to you. you can tell them anything, you put all of your trust in them. or at least, if you haven’t met anyone like this yet, you’ll surely meet a friend that is like a soulmate to you. they’ll also be very important for your growth. in addition, it could also be that you’re still friends with someone from your childhood or even high school days, and hence you could literally grow up together. you could also have some step-siblings. you could also have very big goals you want to achieve in your life, probably since your childhood. as a result, you may end up pursuing your dream career for instance.

lastly, your 12th house is in leo. this is kind of a tricky placement, as leo rules the self, the ego, and the 12th house rules fears. you could be afriad of being too confident, of feeling worth it, or even just by being in the spotlight. perhaps, you have stage fright. this fear of embracing your persona makes you very insecure, even though you probably don’t show it. also, since your 12th house is the house of dreams, you could often make dreams that involve yourself. you hardly ever dream of someone else, and if you they’re probably your lovers, possibly your friends. you may also make daydreams or sleeping dreams of creative, utopic scenarios. the moon is also sitting there; you most likely have lots of dreams, that could even predict the future, and generally they're not too violent or turbulent. you’re hopelessly romantic, to the point that you almost look naive. you’re not simply looking for a partner or spouse, you’re looking for a soulmate; someone you can literally communicate with just using your eyes, someone that knows how to make you feel even messier on the inside. you like to nurture and feel nurtured in a relationship. your ideal lover would be sensitive and empathetic, yet still with a sort of rebel vibe to them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract pisces, virgo, gemini, leo, capricorn and aquarius placements. your future spouse will most likely have some of their planets in virgo or leo, maybe a leo-virgo cusp; they’ll be well-balanced, with a stable job and finances. yet, they won’t be too much of a workaholic, as they’re also most probably a chill individual who loves relax and vacation as well. they could also be foreign and very open-minded. yet, they could be quite impulsive and chilidish at times. your chart points out that this relationship will be kind of unordinary; you may meet them abroad, most likely at work, or even during a simple trip. they’ll also be very spiritual, perhaps religious, or even psychic. you could meet them at night, maybe in a club for example, or even in a context related to death. your children will have capricorn and pisces placements: they’ll be extremely reliable and intelligent; they could be a bit rebellious during their early years, but they will become more mature as time goes by. they'll be very creative and quite sensitive too.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was probably very outgoing, sociable and open-minded. she was probably very intelligent too, and she could have been a successful student. she was basically the perfect, nurturing mother. yet, she probably was too emotional, she could have even been quite possessive or moody. she probably has sagittarius, scorpio and / or cancer placements in her chart, as well as 9th, 8th and 4th house placements. your father, on the other hand, was probably less strict than your mother. he had a complex personality, he most likely used to act different based on the situation he was in. but you most likely used to play a lot with him, you had fun together. he could have been very sociable and intelligent too. he may have gemini, sagittarius, scorpio or virgo placements in his chart, as well as 3rd and 6th house placements, perhaps even 9th. if you have siblings, they have scorpio or aries placements in their chart, as well as 1st / 8th house placements. you might have fought a lot when you were young, there were many control issues and your bond is very intense. yet, you're still very affectionate, and your bond will probably get better as time goes by.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, your future career will most likely involve communication of any kind; you could have to interact with other people, and hence you may work in a place that allows you to communicate with others and that can get quite crowded, like a shop for example. you'll most likely start from these small jobs, like working in a cafe for example. yet, your gemini midheaven indicates that you can handle way stronger careers; above all, communication and creativity are the most indicated fields for you to be successful. you would do amazing as a writer for example, or perhaps you could even become an amazing teacher / professor. yet, you may even choose to pursue a more complex career, like a career in the med field. you could become a nurse for example, as it allows you to both help and communicate with other people. you will start from simple things, but as time goes by, you'll be able to become more independent, maybe even a leader. you probably won't have to depend too much on other people.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you probably love clothes that can show and enhance your body. you may love wearing crop tops, skirts, bralettes, shorts... anything that leaves a part of your body uncovered, yet that still looks elegant and classy. you could also enjoy baggy clothes, paired with fancy accessories and heels. for colors, you go from wearing bold colours like red, burgundy and neon, to darker shades like black, dark blue etc. you probably also love neutral shades, like kaki, beige and so on.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past existence, you were very in touch with your home, self, and probably marriage too. overall, your past life was very peaceful, especially when it comes to your family. this lifetime, though, you need to focus on letting the world know who you are. you have to build a reputation for your name and feel satisfied with your career, while still taking care of your family.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 20th

a few unpredictable, possibly painful events may occur in this period of time, as transit saturn in aquarius is in your 5th house conjunct your natal neptune. there could be an unexpected loss of money for example, a sudden breakup or argument or even death. something will happen that will surely change your view of things and will help you have a major transformation, in order to leave toxicity behind. mars is transiting your 11th house, therefore you could be arguing a lot with others lately, especially with your friends, so be careful to your words in these days.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

[chelsfic]

Accident Forgiveness - part one - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: All you want is to enjoy your latte. Is it your fault you happen to live in a building owned by a super hero? In which the reader continually gets caught up in the Avengers’ fights and it starts to get old. Especially when a certain broody, ex-assassin refuses to admit when he’s at fault. Featuring Hawkeye and the tracksuit mafia!

A/N: This fic will be multiple chapters (probably 2 or 3). It is primarily based on the Hawkeye comics by Matt Fraction and Tales of Suspense: Hawkeye and Winter Soldier by Matthew Rosenberg. You might notice one line is directly lifted from Tales of Suspense (Hawkeye talking about letting the bad guys keep their teeth). I just love the sarcastic, punchy humor of Hawkeye in the comics as well as the friendship dynamics between the two of them in Tales of Suspense. If you guys enjoy this I’d love it if you could comment, like or reblog! I thrive off positive reinforcement, thank you!!

Warnings: Fluff and crack, some violence, language, short reader

---

One minute you’re walking back to your apartment in Bed-Stuy, enjoying the warmth of the caramel latte cupped in your hands.

The next minute you’re sputtering with a facefull of spattered milk foam as your coffee cup is impaled by a bright purple arrow.

Hawkguy!

You love your landlord. You really do. But how many times have you warned him about target practice on the roof?! 

“Oops!” Clint Barton’s chagrined voice floats down from the top of your building. “My bad! Hey, you might wanna--”

OOMPH!

It feels like you’ve just been hit by a speeding car. A blur of leather, muscle and metal zooms through your peripheral vision and slams into you, sending you sprawling on the sidewalk. You throw out your hands to catch yourself and hear a decisive, sickening snap as your right wrist meets the concrete. 

“...duck!” Clint finishes.

Frickin’ super heroes.

Cradling the injured limb to your chest, you crawl away from the street, huddling in the shadow of a front stoop as the two Avenger rejects do battle with a...well, you can only describe it as a goon squad. A group of about twenty guys in tracksuits carrying automatic weapons. You watch the two men’s fluid, brutal movements as they take down their opponents with professional grace. You’d be really impressed if you weren’t so pissed off.

“Thanks, for helping, Buck. I’m gonna call in the--Jesus!,” Clint’s standing over the last guy Bucky took down, staring at the guy’s pulverized face. “...I let my guys keep their teeth, man!”

Bucky rolls his eyes. He flinches when his gaze lands on your stormy face as you rapidly hop over fallen tracksuits, hugging your broken wrist to your side.

“Hey, Hawkguy!” you barrel up to Clint, kicking him in the shin. “You owe me a latte!”

You barely come up to Clint’s chest and yet the archer shifts nervously on his feet and his shoulders slump down. He looks like the human embodiment of one of those dog shaming memes and Bucky snorts in glee. But his merriment vanishes when you round on him with narrowed, storm cloud eyes.

“And you!” you screech. “You broke my arm!”

Bucky’s eyes widen for an instant but he shrugs and tries to play it off, “Not my fault you have shitty balance. You broke your own arm!”

“I--WHAT!??”

Just as you’re gearing up for an epic scolding with some vicious chest-poking thrown in, Clint jumps in between you with a placating look on his face.

“Hey, hey, hey! We’re all friends, right? What’s a broken bone between friends?”

You level a deadpan look at your landlord as you say, “I’ve never met this man before in my life, Clint.”

“And I don’t need to defend myself to civilians who insert themselves into dangerous situations,” Bucky adds helpfully.

“Insert myself! I was just getting a coffee--!”

“His name’s Bucky,” Clint interjects, “he can be a little broody...a little murdery at times...but he’s really a good guy when you get down to it…”

Bucky snorts and runs a hand through his long, dark hair. You have to crane your neck a little to look up at the six-foot-something assassin and when you do you find him looking down his nose at you with a bland smirk. Insufferable! You move to put your hands on your hips in preparation for a renewed scolding but the sudden motion reminds you that your wrist is definitely broken and you wince against the pain.

The haughty look in Bucky’s eyes flickers for just a second as he watches you hiss and clutch your arm. 

“Whatever--Clint, call me an ambulance, will you?”

---

A few days later Clint throws a pizza party on the roof and invites the whole building. He claims it’s in your honor, to make up for what happened, but there’s a potluck party on the roof almost every weekend so the gesture isn’t all that impressive. Still. He does hand you a steaming latte from your favorite coffee shop as you walk into the party. When you reach out to take the cup his eyes light up at the sight of your cast.

“Purple!?” he gushes, gently taking hold of the cast.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah...don’t flatter yourself, Hawkguy. I just like purple is all…” you assure him, not wanting to give him any ideas. Look, you’re human. You won’t deny that your landlord is a tall, blond, beefcake with an adorable dog and...occasional funny jokes. But you also live in the same building and you’ve seen the stream of different women in and out of his apartment. You’re not interested in this particular train wreck.

“Hey, Buck,” he calls out, and your eyes widen in alarm as you notice the dark-haired super-spy lurking on the edge of the party. “C’mere and say hi to your favorite traffic cone.”

Clint turns back to you as Bucky’s walking over and nudges you in the side, “Get it? Traffic cone, because--”

“Got it, Clint,” you roll your eyes.

Bucky slinks over to join you. His long hair is pulled back in a messy bun at the nape of his neck and the sharp line of his jaw is dusted with stubble. He looks over at you and you realize his beautiful, long lashes perfectly frame his blue eyes. Okay, so when you said you weren’t interested in train wrecks--

“Hey, Bucky,” you greet him, looking up at him through your lashes. Your lips curl upward involuntarily. How come you hadn’t noticed how handsome he is before? Oh, right. You’d been distracted with chastising him for BREAKING YOUR ARM. 

Bucky nods silently in greeting, seemingly immune to your wiles. 

Clint isn’t. 

“Hey! Am I--,” he gestures between the two of you with a wide grin on his lips, “Am I sensing something here?! How wild!”

“Clint, you’re delusional,” you snap and start to turn away toward the food table but he skips in front of you to halt your progress.

“Wait, wait, we have to sign your cast!” he pulls a Sharpie out of his back pocket and grabs for your arm. 

“Ouch! Be gentle, dipshit!” you grouse, but you’re a little pleased that he’s apparently thought enough about this little “I’m Sorry” party to bring a Sharpie with him to sign your cast.

“There ya go!” he says with a final flourish, giving you back your arm.

You look down to see that he’s drawn a little bull’s eye with an arrow sticking out of it next to the words, “Sorry my reckless friend ran you over. HawkEYE.” He’d bolded and underlined the “eye” in Hawkeye as if you’d ever give up teasing him about his superhero identity. 

You laugh and give him a little hug, “Thanks, Clint. Well, I’m gonna get some pizza--”

“No!” he cries, reaching over to drag Bucky forward and shoving the pen into his hand. “Bucky has to sign too.”

You squint your eyes at Clint and he smooths his face into a look of bland innocence, shrugging and frowning at you as he mouths, “What???”

Bucky sighs through his nose like he’s being severely put upon and you scoff, “Don’t worry, Bucky, you don’t have to--”

“Lemme see,” he says and his voice is a soft, deep drag along your nerve endings. Holy Hell. He reaches for your arm and cradles the wounded wrist in his metal hand, letting the pen hover over the cast as he considers what to write. He takes his time and you just stand there like a fish on a hook, staring at his beautiful lips as he darts out a tongue in concentration and starts writing. You can feel Clint watching you watch Bucky and you blush to the roots of your hair.

“There,” Bucky says, releasing your arm and capping the Sharpie. “Hope you feel better soon.”

He’s looking into your eyes and you’re falling under the spell of his gaze. His lips curve in a sexy grin and you mutter, breathless, “Thanks!”

You stumble over to the pizza boxes and surreptitiously glance down at your cast. His handwriting is old-fashioned and elegant. You bite your lip to keep from squealing in anticipation as you read his words.

“You should be more careful. XOXO. -Bucky”

You turn back to find him bent over with laughter. 

Frickin’ Superheroes.

[valkyrisffvii]

60 Questions about Mithra

Some background information about Mithra Valkyris

1: What’s your OCs favorite color?

Mithra’s favorite color is most definitely red, specifically dark crimson, the same color as blood. Her 2nd Class SOLDIER uniform sports this color, as do several other outfits that she wears.

2: Where does your OC work?

Mithra used to plunder people’s homes for clients as a part of a thieving ring. She was rewarded for her skills with food, clothing, and a place to stay. Unfortunately, the job ran out of use for her when she reached her late teens. In order to avoid having to sell her body to ensure a stable life, Mithra ran away from that particular part of Midgar and joined SOLDIER, the elite military group. They were reluctant to accept her at first due to the fact that she was female, but her skills in stealth ended up proving quite valuable to Shinra.

3: What’s your OCs favorite food?

Mithra is fond of anything that’s spicy. She can tolerate spicy food better than most of her friends. Mithra also has a very strong sweet tooth, preferring her coffee sweet and having a fondness for anything with chocolate. 

4: Does your OC prefer paper or plastic?

Gil does not come in card form nor paper form, so Mithra carries her gil in a pouch that attaches to her belt, much like others who don’t carry bags.

5: How old is your OC?

Mithra is around 14 when she first finds herself in lower Midgar. She joins SOLDIER at the age of 17 and is promoted to 2nd class at age 19. She is 22 when she gets into her first relationship with Sephiroth.

6: Does your OC have any supernatural powers?

Like other members of SOLDIER, Mithra receives Mako injections which give her enhanced speed, jump height, strength, and other powers. She learns several ice and electric spells to use in combat as a contrast to Genesis’ skills with fire. 

7: Is your OC in a relationship?

Before she joins SOLDIER, Mithra does try to get the attention of several girls her age, with no luck. She believes that she only holds feelings for females until she meets and falls in love with Sephiroth, whom she is afraid to confess her feelings to. Luckily, a slip of Zack’s tongue allows the two of them to confess their feelings to each other. They maintain a loving relationship for many years, and their commitment to each other pushes them to fight against those who threaten them.

8: What are some of your OCs strengths?

Having faced great adversity at a young age, Mithra is no stranger to conflict, and she has no problem with standing up for herself. She’s also very crafty with her words and actions, and she can manipulate anyone into giving in to her wishes, though she’d rather not do this unless she’s dealing with an enemy. Mithra’s stealth skills have made her a valuable asset to SOLDIER; she is a skilled lockpicker and pickpocket, and she can move silently and hide easily due to her short stature and small frame. She’s a patient teacher as well, taking some time out of her days to help infantryman Cloud train so that he can become a SOLDIER.

9: What are some of your OCs weaknesses? 

Having little to no memory of her childhood, Mithra struggles with understanding her identity. During her teenage years, she feels that she’s different from other girls because she does not hold romantic feelings towards men. Luckily, she comes to accept herself fully once she finds her place as a member of SOLDIER, and she comes out as bisexual. Mithra is also somewhat of a hothead, albeit less than that of someone like Genesis. She can get overwhelmed easily and this can result in impulsive decisions, some of which don’t end that well.

10: What is your OCs favorite outfit?

Once she hits the age of 18 and comes out, Mithra feels much more confident in her clothing choices. Like many other young women in Midgar, she likes wearing crop tops, even going so far as to alter her SOLDIER uniforms to fit her style. She hates anything that is tight around the neck, so she removed the turtleneck on the uniform as well. When she’s not in uniform, Mithra normally wears cropped tanks, as she hates sleeves. She also prefers going barefoot over constantly wearing boots.

11: What animal does your OC relate to?

Mithra probably relates most to a fox. She’s sneaky, both in physical prowess and her speech. She’s also quite solitary before she befriends the other SOLDIERS. 

12: Is your OC sexually active?

Mithra has little to no interest in a sexual relationship at first due to some bad experiences with older men on the streets. Even after she gets into a relationship, sex is not high on her list of desires, as she prefers to go on adventures with her S/O rather than have intimate moments. That being said, she does make perverted jokes occasionally… 

13: What is your OCs earliest memory?

Mithra’s earliest memory is waking up on the ground in an alleyway in Midgar. She can recall faint snapshots of her supposed childhood, but there’s nothing solid enough for her to remember vividly. She did remember her age and birthday, as well as how to fight.

14: Does your OC have a cell phone? If so, what kind?

Mithra has a touch screen smartphone like everyone else who works for Shinra. She is in several group chats including one for the six main SOLDIER members as well as SOLDIER Director Lazard, one with herself, Zack, and Cloud Strife, and one with her female friends Tifa Lockhart and Aerith Gainsborough. She often sends her friends “memes”.

15.What makes your OC angry?

Anyone who says that women are weak immediately get disapproval from Mithra, as does anyone who hates members of the LGBTQ+ community. She is also angered by those who threaten or make fun of her friends, especially anyone who antagonizes Sephiroth. The thing that she absolutely cannot stand, however, is being told to “know her place”.

16: When is your OCs favorite time of year?

Mithra loves the summer because she and the others usually get longer vacations. They often go to Costa Del Sol or another exotic location and just enjoy their time together. She is also fond of the winter cold and snow that sometimes falls in Midgar, and she can spend hours sitting at the window watching the snowflakes fall.

17: How long can your OC hold their breath?

Mithra’s SOLDIER abilities include the ability to hold her breath longer than the average person. However, she does have her limits, as seen when she dives into a reservoir lake to search for a piece of materia and gets attacked by mutated Shinra creations, which results in Sephiroth having to save her.

18: What kind of underwear does your OC wear?

Cotton. She thinks lace and silk are stupid, not to mention the mess they’d become during one’s menstrual cycle.

19: Does your OC prefer plaid or polka dots?

Mithra isn’t particularly fond of either. 

20: What’s your OCs favorite kind of pizza?

Either Margherita or barbecue chicken. She will judge anyone who thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

21: Who is your OCs best friend?

When she first joined SOLDIER, Mithra felt out of place because she was the only woman. However, Zack Fair, who was on the brink of making 2nd Class at the time, was quick to introduce himself to her and make her feel welcome. She and Zack quickly became close friends, both of them having a sense of humor and outgoing personalities. Through Zack, Mithra met and befriended the elite 1st Class members Genesis Rhapsodos, Angeal Hewley, and Sephiroth. Mithra became close friends with Cloud Strife after she helped him make SOLDIER. Mithra also became close friends with Aerith after helping Zack get closer to her, and Cloud introduced her to his childhood friend Tifa. 

22: Has your OC ever killed someone?

Before joining SOLDIER, Mithra had actually never killed anyone. She had to knock a few people out using her rock sling in order to escape a few fights, but she never murdered anyone in cold blood. After she became a SOLDIER, she’d do regular jobs that sometimes involved killing people, but only because it was her job and not due to personal grudges.

23: What's your OCs biggest secret?

Mithra was groped several times in her teen years by older drunk men, which fueled her dislike of alcohol. She also has a prominent scar behind her right ear that spans vertically from the top of her ear to the upper part of her neck. This scar was given to her by a drunk man who smashed a beer bottle into her head after she refused to sleep with him when she was sixteen. Had she not jerked her head away, the broken bottle would have disfigured her face, maybe even rendered her blind in her right eye.

24: What does your OC smell like?

Mithra doesn’t like perfume, so unlike Sephiroth, she simply smells like powder-fresh deodorant. Her hair can smell badly if she doesn’t wash it daily.

25: What time of year does your OC prefer?

(Same as 16)

26: Is your OC a human or an animal?

Mithra is very much human, albeit somewhat of a superhuman due to Mako injections.

27: What languages does your OC speak?

Mithra only knows the common language spoken by most people on Gaia. She also doesn’t have an apparent accent. 

28: Does your OC like anime?

She’s not really into it itself, but she does like the art style and tries to replicate it in her spare time.

29: Can your OC swim?

Mithra is a surprisingly strong swimmer. Her small frame allows her to move in the water swiftly, and she has strong arms and legs thanks to SOLDIER training. She enjoys swimming whenever she gets the chance, especially during the hot summer months.

30: What does your OC choose to do about the, er, hair down there?

She shaves, but she would never let anyone wax her down there.

31: Does your OC believe in fairies? 

Mithra isn’t overly superstitious, but she believes in ghosts. 

32: Did your OC go to college? What did they major in?

Anything Mithra learned was either a result of an experience (bad or good) or from being in SOLDIER. She did know how to read and write when she woke up, though. Zack introduced Mithra to Angeal, who took her under his wing alongside Zack. Angeal taught her most of the skills she needed in SOLDIER, and Mithra caught on pretty quickly.

33: Are your OCs parents dead? 

Mithra does not know who her parents are or if they abandoned her in that alleyway. She has faint visions of people whom she thinks are her parents, but she isn’t sure if they’re still alive or not. Seeing as no one came looking for her, it’s most likely that she was left to die by her parents, or her parents had died and whoever was caring for her got rid of her. 

34: Is your OC religious?

Mithra does sometimes mention Shiva when she’s surprised, but for the most part she is agnostic.

35: How flexible is your OC?

Mithra is much more flexible than any of the other SOLDIERs. She is great at climbing and has great balance. One of her pastimes is doing parkour in the simulation room with the scene set to rooftops in Midgar. Her past life as a thief gave her the ability to jump fences and squeeze into tight spaces. She also has great grip strength and can hang on for long periods of time without letting go.

36: What turns your OC on?

Mithra loves people who are confident and assertive. She believes that the most “masculine” thing that a man could do is not care about what others think. She likes girls who also don’t care about outside opinions and stand up for themselves. The most attractive trait that a person could have, in her opinion, is undying loyalty. 

37: What was your OCs first word?

As for the first word she uttered as an infant, Mithra has no idea what it was. However, the first thing she said when she woke up was “Huh?”

38: Does your OC have any pets?

While she’s living in the Shinra building in Midgar, Mithra does not have any pets. However, she dreams of getting a dog someday, particularly a husky or a corgi.

39: Who is your OCs biggest enemy?

At first, Mithra’s enemies are the criminals she works with as they try to force her into submission. When she escapes the criminal underworld and joins SOLDIER, her greatest enemy is Professor Hojo. She harbors a strong dislike towards him from the very beginning due to his obsession with using live subjects, and the hatred only grows when she finds out the truth about Sephiroth’s origins. Hojo’s feelings towards her are mutual, and he even goes so far as to torture her for meddling in his work. 

40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done?

The craziest thing Mithra’s done is probably dating the famous, elite Silver General despite his hoards of fangirls, directly contributing to thousands of jealous women all over the Planet. She does not fear them one bit even though they are notorious for fanatically snooping and gossiping about Sephiroth. Then again, the Silver Elite are also terrified of her.

41: What is your OCs motto about life?

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and, at times, hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe

42: Does your OC drink coffee or tea?

Mithra is partial to both, but she prefers green tea and likes her coffee sweet with plenty of cream. She hates iced tea but she loves iced coffee with sweetened condensed milk.

43: Who is your OCs biggest hero?

Probably the three Firsts. Between Genesis’ dramatic personality, Angeal’s devotion to honor, and Sephiroth’s inner warmth, she deeply admires all three of them. However, unlike their fan clubs, who love them for their deeds, appearances, and heroics, she appreciates their personalities and her friendships with them. 

44: What color eyes does your OC have?

Unlike most other SOLDIERs, Mithra does not have the signature “Mako eyes” despite receiving Mako. This makes it easy for her to hide the fact that she’s in SOLDIER. Her eyes remain their natural warm brown, and they appear to have golden reflects in direct sunlight. 

45: Does your OC like reading?

Mithra absolutely hates reading. Part of it is from constantly listening to Genesis recite LOVELESS, and most of it is because she prefers actually doing things rather than reading about other people’s experiences. She has stolen LOVELESS from Genesis multiple times, much to his annoyance (don’t worry, they’re still best friends).

46: Is your OC loyal?

Having been betrayed before, Mithra vows to never betray her friends. She is an incredibly loyal friend and girlfriend. She would never cheat on Sephiroth with anyone, nor would she sell anyone out for her own gain. If she ever accidentally betrays someone, she will do anything to gain forgiveness. 

47: Does your OC tolerate violence?

Unfortunately, Mithra has to tolerate some violence as a member of Shinra’s elite military. She is not overly fond of violence in situations where it’s unnecessary. However, she is more than willing to kill people who have hurt her or her close friends. 

48: What social class is your OC from?

Mithra started out as a thief, a class that no average person would want any association with. She jumped dramatically in social hierarchy when she joined SOLDIER, becoming a high-ranking member of society. When she enlisted, Director Lazard was quick to remind the other members that she deserved respect as the only female. She was even given her own private suite with a full kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom in order to ensure her privacy among all the men in SOLDIER.

49: What country was your OC born in?

Somewhere on the planet of Gaia. It’s not exactly known where Mithra was born, as she was already a teenager when she found herself in Midgar. Her family could have very well either been from Midgar originally or they may have moved from another town. 

50: Does your OC cry easily?

Mithra has taught herself to be strong and stoic in times of hardship and show little emotion. She does not cry easily, but she prefers to work off her anger and sadness by doing target practice. When she meets her friends and eventually gets into a relationship, however, Mithra becomes more open with her feelings and is willing to let her emotions out rather than bearing her burdens. She feels that her friends accept her fully and will be there for her even when she seems weak.

51: What is your OCs favorite genre of music?

Mithra loves instrumental music that she can play while doing things such as cleaning, cooking, or drawing. She also loves songs that she can sing or dance to. She would often sing to herself when she was alone in order to keep herself occupied. 

52: How does your OC feel about insects?

Despite her adventurous personality, Mithra is terrified of cockroaches, slugs, and moths. She likes flies and mosquitoes and the like as much as the next person, and she thinks that bees are cute at a distance. She is extra happy when Sephiroth moves in with her because it means that she doesn’t have to kill any roaches that wander into her apartment. 

53: What is your OCs sexual orientation?

At first, Mithra believes that she is a lesbian, as she only feels attraction to women during her time as a thief. However, everything changes when she joins SOLDIER and she’s exposed to charismatic men such as Zack, Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth. She comes out as bisexual at the age of 18, which makes her the only member of SOLDIER to be an open member of the LGBTQ+ community at the time. 

54: Does your OC smoke?

Similarly to her feelings towards alcohol, Mithra loathes tobacco. She was forced to smell it when wandering around the criminal underworld and never got used to it. She also knows that smoking can ruin one’s body and does not want to destroy herself at such a young age.

55: What gender is your OC?

Mithra identifies as a cisgender female. She is mostly feminine, but she enjoys crossdressing in men’s clothes. A particularly amusing instance of this is when she tries on Sephiroth’s coat, which drags behind her like a cape, and the sleeves are several inches too long. Sephiroth does get a good laugh out of this, though.

56: What kind of clothes does your OC wear?

Mithra’s wardrobe consists of crop tops and comfortable pants such as sweatpants or leggings. She hates long sleeves and therefore wears tanks most of the time. When she’s not wearing her SOLDIER combat boots, Mithra is normally either barefoot or sporting sandals. She’s also quite fond of two-pieced dresses, as seen with her choice of fashion for Shinra’s annual banquet. 

57: Would you call your OC adventurous? 

Mithra lives for adventure. During her time as a thief, she would wander around the slums of Midgar with constant interest in the different people living in the city. Her job as a SOLDIER only gave her new opportunities for adventures around Gaia. She has traveled to Costa Del Sol, Banora, and several other small towns. She also travels to several remote areas.

58: Is your OC introverted or extroverted?

Despite seeming more introverted at first due to her solidarity, Mithra is actually very extroverted and loves being around people. Befriending Zack and then the others turned out to be one of the best things that happened to her, as it allowed her to relate to other people and feel a sense of belonging. 

59: What is the first thing that someone would notice about your OC?

Mithra is very short, standing at 5’3”. She looks even shorter when she’s with her fellow SOLDIERs. The only one close to her height is Cloud Strife, and even he is four inches taller than her. She also does not sport blue eyes like other members of SOLDIER, but instead retains her natural brown eyes. 

60: Does your OC enjoy nature?

Even though she’s mostly a city girl, Mithra does enjoy the great outdoors. She goes camping with Zack and Cloud several times and fully enjoys it (partially because she can scare Zack). She does drag her boyfriend with her a few times, much to his displeasure. 

[gamer2002]

Danganronpa - Review2002

Danganronpa is a mystery VN, where 15 high schoolers are trapped in a murder school, and in order to get out one has to kill another and frame somebody else for it. Observed and manipulated by the headmaster of the school, a sadistic robot-bear called Monokuma, our main character, Makoto, has to survive and not lose his hope. Because there is a lot of despair. And hope. Despair. Hope. Despair. Light. Darkness. Kingdom Hearts.

But we’ll talk about that later.

Despite all the murder thingy, the game is just an edgy shonen and is very animu. It’s not a bad thing, because it’s entertaining, and that’s what matters the most. Characters are mostly simplistic, often stereotypical, but are distinguish and memorable (aside from meh protag). What is good about the cast is how the group dynamics changes with each case. Thanks to that, the characters seem more alive, and the surrounding drama seems more impactful. And sometimes the drama is really good, though it’s dragged down by the meme writing. But about that later.

The trials, where we try to figure out the killer’s identities, are good gameplay-wise. Aside from the rhythm minigame. I get the creators wanted to demonstrate losing arguments by lack of confidence, but, until half of the game, that minigame had nothing to do with logic or deduction. Every other minigame was good or ok, though.

Comparing to Ace Attorney, the trials were more dynamic, with constant new arguments and questions. It helps that the equivalent of AA’s testimonies is briefer (as it’s on a time limit). Not to mention, the filled with moving camera direction really made non-animated and non-moving characters feel alive. The music was ok – it serves its purpose, but it isn’t memorable.

The gameplay between trials was ok. Investigations didn’t drag too long. The free time did sometimes, but that’s because I was collecting more coins than it was necessary. The coins are spent for presents, which we can give to other characters, in return for learning more about them and gaining upgrades for the trials. But, to be frank, some upgrades were “turn off the setting we put to make the gameplay purposefully shittier”.  

It’s an entertaining game with some good ideas, which earns 7/10 in my book. But there are reasons why this game doesn’t earn any higher, which I’m going to elaborate on. The subject is Kingdom Hearts Meme Writing, Monokuma being a letdown villain, the big revelation being a lot of nothing, and how the writers could’ve made the Hope vs Despair nonsense actually work. The last two are impossible to write about without spoilers, but I can explain the first two without them.

Despair. Despair. Despair. Despair. Do you get it? I hope.

I know this is a shonen, regardless how edgy it is, and the writers were pretty self-aware of this. But the despair/hope meme drags down the writing. Monokuma goes on and on about how he will turn all the hope into despair, and this is just as ridiculous as a talking cartoon bear that kills a man by literally blasting him into space can be. It’s a meme writing. A ham-fisted, forced meme writing.

Other examples of meme writing is Kingdom Hearts, with its light and darkness, or Ace Attorney, with its truth. We all roll our eyes over that. Characters are bringing up some concept in a melodramatic way, repeatably, with a ridiculous zeal that doesn’t just seem alien, but straight out autistic. But it’s okay, all those titles, including Ronpa, are still shonens. Kingdom Hearts is a battle shonen where you fight against forces of evil alongside Donald Duck. You can turn your brain off and enjoy yourself, no biggie. But turning your brain off is a bit harder in, you know, a murder mystery.

Yeah, Ace Attorney is murder mystery as well, and yet I give it a pass. That’s because “truth” is just an ideal of idealistic characters. Phoenix, Edgeworth, and the rest, are melodramatically motivating themselves by simplistically expressing their ideal. And  melodrama is part of a wrestling, and logic wrestling is what Ace Attorney boils down to. So, why this isn’t the same in this logic wrestling game?

The problem with hope/despair is that those are not just some concepts or ideals, but those are emotions. Emotions that the writing does attempt to make you feel, sometimes pretty successfully. Case 4 is an example of a beautifully set up tragedy, it’s the game’s emotional peak. The reveal is shocking and sad, and the dramatic confession is filled with genuine emotion. And then the confession has the word “despair” in it, and my brain is immediately going back to Monokuma and his antics. Good thing that the official translation team has realized that they would have killed the mood sooner, if they had included that word in an earlier appearing evidence. Same thing happens whenever the word “hope” appears – it just makes us recall the memes.

In my AI: Somnium Files I’ve explained to you the need of being explicit about what is supposed to make the player feel emotions. But you can’t be ham-fisted about what the player is supposed to feel. Turning hope and despair into KH’s equivalent of light and darkness is turning them into a material for jokes. It is a repeatable telling us what to feel, and that simply can’t work. If the game didn’t do that, a lot of good moments wouldn’t be dragged down by being a reference to something we joke about.

Monokuma is just the biggest kid tier villain

There are spoiler reasons why Monokuma fails at being a villain, but I’ll mention them in spoiler section about improving the whole hope vs despair conflict. But the basic problem with Monokuma is spoiler-free, because it all boils down to the game’s initial setup.

Generally, Monokuma is a recurring type of villain that mixes nihilism, cartoonish silliness and cruel sadism into one, disturbing package. Other examples of such villains is the Joker, or Killer the Butcher from Zambot 3. When you look at Monokuma alone, he is (aside from spoiler reasons) a good example of such a villain. He is over the top, entertaining, scheming, memorable, gets all the attention in every scene he is in, and is constantly disturbing. All his bases are covered, so all is good, right? But only when you look at Monokuma alone.

Character in a story isn’t just some element you can look at alone, it’s an element you see among all the others. Great villain needs a great hero. Great hero needs a great villain. If one is unimpressive, the other can’t impress us with their triumphs.

The reason why the Joker is a great villain is because he is a challenge for the goddamn Batman, creating a clash of an unstoppable force against an unmovable object. Killer the Butcher’s enemies are kids piloting alien giant robot with superior firepower. What makes the Bucher a good villain is that, regardless of his lost battles, he still succeeds at causing significant collateral damage, which constantly contributes to his stated goal of slowly killing all humans. And Butcher doesn’t just rely on his show reaching logical conclusions about consequences of battles between giant robots, the entire arc before heroes directly attacking his HQ is about him using a weapon they can’t fight with a giant robot – kidnapped people turned into living human bombs. The amount of sacrifices, losses and traumas that kids from a 70s (!) super robot show have to go through is why Killer the Butcher is an impressive villain you love to hate.

But Monokuma isn’t an unstoppable force going against an unmovable object. Neither he is battling heroes that are capable of beating him in a direct confrontation, forcing him to rely on different forms of accomplishing his goals. He targets fifteen uninformed kids, with like three giving him a reason to worry, and puts them in a situation where they can’t initially defy him at all. It’s not a spoiler to say that the kids initially can’t find any clues that would’ve allowed them to free themselves from Monokuma. Their exploration of the school is limited, and next areas are unlocked only after class trials. Meaning, Monokuma limits kids’ ability to gather information required to beat him, until the next killing occurs. If the kids don’t kill anybody, they can only hope to (hah) apathetically accept their imprisonment by Monokuma.

To sum it up, all that Monokuma accomplishes is making some confused kids kill one another, when they are in a situation where it’s their only option to free themselves. Wow, what an impressive villain, doing whatever he wants with helpless children and driving them to murder.

It doesn’t help that the actual conclusion of the conflict with Monokuma is underwhelming, and all his actions only make us respect him less as a villain. But more about that later, in the spoiler section. But not immediately, because first we need to focus on the game’s disappointing big revelation.

Who cares that the world is over?

All attempts to escape the murder school were pointless – the world has already ended! Play the laugh track.

To give the writers credit, Genocide Jill’s explanation of that was funny and played out as a dark joke. And that’s the only way this revelation could be played out.

When it comes for the twist being a twist, it’s okeyish. The twist itself isn’t hard to guess, by the end of the first trial, and it’s almost given away by the third one. On the other side, there are photos of kids that died in previous chapters, and you could wonder if they aren’t going to reveal that everybody lives and this all was a simulation, or something. It can be easily guessed, but there is room for speculation, and you may not know which route the writers will go. Even if those routes are “predictable” and “a disappointing backpedal”.

But even if you end up being surprised… it’s an emotional bunch of nothing. Makoto gets his answer to what could’ve happened to his family, and he still doesn’t even realize it. That’s how the writing poorly handled one way it could’ve made us care about end of the world – through Makoto’s reaction to it.

Makoto is such an uninteresting, purposefully average, and ultimately unimpressive main character. We know he has family, parents, and a younger sister, but one picture of them is all we got. We don’t know the dynamics of their relationship, and we don’t know why Makoto loves them. Just saying “they are his family” isn’t enough. When Superman and his family are written well, we know why Clark Kent cares deeply about them – Ma Kent is such a great mother, Pa Kent is such a great father, and each scene with them demonstrates it.

Through the game, Makoto could’ve flashbacks to his family, as an ongoing C plot. That way we would’ve been shown why Makoto cares about them, why he wants to make sure they are safe, why he could feel tempted about escaping via murder (leading to him rejecting that idea because his family wouldn’t want it that way). And then boom – yes, the world has ended, and they are probably dead.

But Makoto never ever connects the state of the world to the state of his family. And that’s a big mistake, because that was a way to spice up the ultimate clash between Hope and Despair.

How to argue that Despair can be better than Hope

Before I focus on the topic, let me first expand on the topic of Monokuma being a disappointing villain, by telling you why Junko is a disappointing villain.

Junko just pulls everything out of her ass. Ok, she happens to have a super soldier sister, who was capable of killing Academy’s entire adult staff, letting her to take over the school. This part is acceptable by shonen standards. It was the Acadamy that was responsible for sealing the building and setting its defense, ok. But then everything else is an unexplained bullshit. Endless Monokumas? She has them because the writer says so. Ability to take away memories? She has them because the writer says so. Hijacking all TV channels? Performing ridiculously complex executions? Securing supplies to the Academy in a post-apo setting? She can because the writers says so.

She simply isn’t a formidable villain. She is nothing more than a bored girl, that could’ve been successful as a normal person, but the entire universe decided to grant her everything to let her play a supervillain. She doesn’t accomplish any impressive feat by herself. Even taking over of the Academy was solely thanks to her sister. With her granted unfair total advantage over the cast, there was no other way for her to lose than keeping screwing herself. She can’t even gain respect as a formidable opponent from sticking to her rules, because she not only purposefully handicaps the most competent person in the cast, but also keeps breaking her own rules.

The second aspect of a good villain is understandability. And Junko is a stupid incomprehensible mess. She always feels despair, and that somehow makes her constantly bored. But she wants to prove that’s better than hope. For some reason, she is a sadist. She is also happy about facing ultimate despair in form of her own death, but she didn’t yearn to that enough to off herself before all her plans. Nothing adds up, and she just does whatever crazy shit the writers needs her to do at the current moment. This is the aspect where she just sucks as a Joker-type villain. Such villains, when done well, aren’t just twisted, wrong, crazy edgemasters. When done well, they are also, despite everything, still somehow understandable. That’s what makes them actually shocking. It isn’t just shocking that they do horrible things, it is shocking that they can argue that everything they do serves a purpose and is consistent with a coherent belief.

Joker (when written well) and Killer the Butcher do have nihilistic philosophy that is wrong and twisted, but does have some shocking points. Joker believes that normal life is pointless, because one bad day can drive you mad, so it’s better to embrace awfulness of the world as your entertainment. And this philosophy is consistent with him wanting to commit macabre crimes. Killer the Butcher believes that humans are ungrateful bastards and will even treat their saviors like crap. And this philosophy is consistent with him wanting to kill all humans. Even if you don’t agree with their believes (I hope), you understand why somebody with such believes would be doing what they are doing. This understandability is what elevates banal conflict against a bad guy that does a bad thing that has to be stopped, into a conflict against a personified idea. Batman doesn’t just fight the Joker, he fights a nihilistic view of a pointless mad world. Zambot 3 kids don’t just fight Killer the Butcher, they fight view of humans as unworthy of living and being saved. That is why those conflicts aren’t banal.

Meanwhile, Junko makes a big promise for a Hope vs Despair conflict, arguing that the latter is better than former, but...

What is “despair” anyway? Is it to give up from stuff like escaping the school, and accepting whatever you end up having, however shitty it is? But what does it have with Junko’s boredom and embracing her own death? What is the point of the over-the-top executions? Junko is gleefully sadistic, what about despair makes you sadistic? Did she want the cast and her viewers to embrace sadism as well?  How’s that better than hope? It’s incomprehensible, and fails to make any point. The blame lies pretty much on the out-of-place sadism that exists just to make Junko an edgelady.

Danganronpa is a murder mystery. And despite being an over-the-top shonen, it does focus, decently, on motives for committing murders. Every single killer in this game is understandable. Their actions were wrong, but you understand why they did everything they did. There is just a sole exception to this rule – the games’ main villain.

During the final confrontation, Junko was arguing that futile hopes of previous murderers drove them to committing murder. That alone does make a good point. Then she offered everyone safe peaceful life, if they acknowledged her belief and abandoned all hope. Ok, that’s a good dilemma. Surprising that with such a good prepared dilemma Junko bothered to handicap and eliminate Kyoko, when she could just guide the cast towards Junko and this dilemma faster. Still, Junko does make a point about despair being better than hope, and does make the cast face a dilemma, in a way that is consistent with her belief. But then she adds she wants to punish someone for lulz, and that person has to be our bland player character.  

And how killing Makoto proves that despair is better than hope? It was a yet another act of Junko’s pointless sadism, which only made it more difficult for other characters to agree with her. Anyway, Junko is ultimately unimpressive, because she loses to Makoto just saying “let’s have some hope, guys”. All that buildup of understandable motives of past killers lead to a rather banal final conflict with a completely banal resolution.

Things would be different, if Junko didn’t forget about Makoto’s family and did bring them up during the final argument. I still think that trying to kill Makoto was counterproductive, but I understand the need of putting MC’s life at stake. But Junko could single out Makoto for execution because he was pushing for the idea of everyone leaving the school, despite the revelation about state of the world, and she could accuse him for selfishly risking lives of others, just for a hope of reunion with his own family. Imagine that being the payoff of flashbacks to Makoto’s family and his wish to reunite with them. Sure, here, Makoto has proved he wouldn’t directly murder anybody over it, but would he willingly disregard safety of others? He can’t really refute that, without giving up on leaving the school.

And that’s how Junko could undermine Makoto and make her point. Living trapped in the school and abandoning all hope for the outside world was bad, but it could be worse. At least it was safe, peaceful, and they had food plus entertainment. Looking for anything better outside was risky. Hoping for anything better was risky. Hope was bad. The state of despair, where you no longer hope for anything better than what you have, was good. Unable to accept this Makoto was spreading ideas that were dangerous for the well-being of others. How Makoto, willing to selfishly drag everyone else into a dangerous hell-word and risk their lives, was that much different from every other killer? Sure, they killed others directly, but at least none of their victims had a slow and painful death. Makoto was willing to potentially doom others to that. And this is why he had to be put down, like all the other killers had to be, regardless of their understandable motives. In the current state of the world, any reckless hope is a dangerous thought crime.

Here, the final debate could be more complex. Makoto could’ve pointed out that, even if he could be accused for having a selfish hope, it was the same with others. Everyone else wanted their situation to improve, and giving that up for hollow safety wouldn’t do. Hope is better than despair, freedom is better than safety. The future of post-apo is libertarian, and if we can’t live with the freedom to pursue our hopes, then we won’t live at all. No more lockdowns!

You don’t have to agree with such a statement, but at least it is some statement. Here, we have a clash of hope that accepts the risk against despair that is unwilling to accept any risks. Unlike what we got, where despair is somehow tied to sadism, and hope simply rides on the power of friendship.

[caniisrufus]

tag update!!

[justabrooklynkid-blog1]

Repost, don’t reblog!

A valuable meme for any roleplayer! Come display your comfort levels so your roleplay partners are aware of what they can do, and of what they should avoid! A healthy relationship between role-play partners is the key to a good time!

While this meme shows the basics, please remember to communicate with your roleplay partners!

Key: BOLD = Yes. Normal = Okay/Ask me about it. Strike = No.

tagged by (sort of):  @morgansmornings​

tagging:  anyone this looks helpful to tbh

Under a read more for length.

ROLEPLAY BASICS

LOCATIONS

I AM COMFORTABLE DOING:

tumblr

IM (talking yes, RPing no)

email

kik

discord

google docs

skype

forum

other

PARTICIPANTS

I AM COMFORTABLE WITH:

one on one roleplays

up to three people

up to four people (not in a single thread, but in a shared verse)

five or more people! (not in a single thread, but in a shared verse)

as big as possible! (not in a single thread, but in a shared verse)

POST LENGTH

I USUALLY WRITE ABOUT:

one or two sentences

one or two paragraphs

two to five paragraphs

more than five paragraphs

a few pages worth

I AM COMFORTABLE ROLE-PLAYING WITH PEOPLE WHO WRITE:

one or two sentences

one or two paragraphs

two to five paragraphs

more than five paragraphs

a few pages worth

ROLE-PLAY REQUESTS

I LIKE GETTING REQUESTS FROM:

anyone and everyone at any time!

when I ask for roleplays

from friends and acquaintances

from friends only

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

** IMPORTANT: Communication is the key to a real life relationship, it shouldn’t be abandoned for a fictional one either! Be sure to talk to your partners when considering romance.

SHIPPING

I AM COMFORTABLE SHIPPING MY CHARACTERS:

never

if our characters know each other deeply

If our characters know each other deeply, and I know I can trust the roleplayer

At the first sign of flirting!

only if the roleplayer and I plan it

it depends on the character

IF YOU WANT TO ROMANTICALLY SHIP WITH MY CHARACTERS:

talk to me about it from the start

talk to me about it once our characters know each other 

talk to me about it once they both have some feelings for each other 

talk to me about it when they finally decide they want to go beyond hugging

NO SERIOUSLY - TALK TO ME, at any time!

SPEED

WHEN SHIPPING MY CHARACTERS, I LIKE THE ROMANCE TO HAPPEN:

swift as lightning!

fast, but not super fast

happens in about three months

slow and steady wins the race 

slugs know what’s up!

my relationships know no speed. they happen if and when they happen

SMUT

WHEN MY CHARACTERS GET INTIMATE, I PREFER:

to skip the act entirely (... I like smut, okay)

to write the build up, but skip the act

to write the act only if it is very special, but otherwise, skip it

to write the act all the way through (what’s up with that? buildup without gratification?)

whatever my partner is comfortable with

ROMANTIC ARTWORK

WHEN IT COMES TO ARTWORK DEPICTING OUR RELATIONSHIP PLEASE:

do not post it at all without talking to me

post it if it is cuddles and hugs

post it if it is kisses

post it if it is n.sfw

only post it if it depicts n.sfw privately between us

do not post it at all if it depicts sexual acts

do not post it where I can see it, BUT DRAW WHAT YOU LIKE! (no no no you don’t understand. if you do any artwork about our characters, I will love you forever)

DRAMATICS

** IMPORTANT: Always be sure to communicate with your partner individually if you think you are about to go outside their comfort zones even just the slightest bit!

VIOLENCE

WHEN IT COMES TO VIOLENT SITUATIONS, I AM COMFORTABLE WITH:

no violence at all (I feel like this just comes with the territory, so have at it if you can handle Steve punching back)

I’m fine with verbal arguments

some violence, like a paper cut, or an accidental elbow to the face

mild violence, such as punching, kicking, hair pulling

violence, such as stabbings

beyond violence, such as torture and more

IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING VIOLENT, PLEASE:

don’t do it at all

talk to me about it first

surprise me! (but be ready for a response)

DRAMATIC ARTWORK:

do not post any dramatic scenes that that happened between our characters

talk to me about it before posting!

post what you like!

[purplewhiteandgold]

You’re the guy from the fragrance ad

(Based off of this post by @buginettez)

When the commercial break started, Alya excused herself to the bathroom, while Marinette and Nino chatted until the show came back on.

Until the familiar music started playing.

Marinette and Nino's heads snap to the TV, and, seeing the model slowly jogging over the rooftops, shout in unison, "ALYA THE AD IS ON."

The bathroom door crashes open as she comes stumbling out, rushing into the living room right as the voiceover starts. With exaggerated awe on her face, she mimics the audio.

"Radiant."

Nino sprawls across the carpet with the look of someone with not a single worry. "Carefree."

Marinette swoons dramatically over the side of the couch. "Dreamy."

In unison, and with massive grins on their faces, they sigh, "Adrien."

And then proceed to burst out laughing.

"That'll never get old," Nino snickers, wiping his eyes.

"Do you think," Marinette giggles a little. "Do you think the poor guy knows how much of a meme he is?"

"He has to, I can't imagine being that disconnected from society to not know," Alya chokes out, trying to contain her laughter.

Nino turns back to the TV, where another ad is running. "I wonder if we're the only ones who do crap like this whenever we see the commercial or billboards for the perfume."

Marinette snorts. "I mean, most of Paris is rabid for him, but I can almost guarantee that some other people see this as somewhat of a joke as well."

"Oh, I don't know, Marinette," Alya grins deviously. "Who's to say you're not also one of the people rabid for him? He looks like he could be your type."

Marinette smacks her leg, accustomed to hearing this every time they see the ad. "Yeah, sure, we'd be a great couple, especially since we don't even know each other."

She didn't feel the need to mention that there was another boy, clad in black leather, who was also her type and she did know, who held her heart. But as far as her friends knew, Ladybug was the one in a relationship with Chat Noir, not Marinette. But explaining that would bring a whole new round of questions and identity complications that she just didn't need.

The conversation might have continued, but they were interrupted by the show returning from commercial, and the topic wasn't brought up again.

~~~~~

Chat Noir was thrilled.

Who could blame him? After dating for a while, and after much discussion, he and Ladybug had finally agreed to reveal their identities to each other. He'd only been waiting for this since he met her.

No big deal, right?

Before they met that night, Adrien stood in front of his bathroom mirror, giving himself a pep talk.

"You got this, Agreste. This doesn't need to be that dramatic. Chances are, you probably don't even know her, so nothing will change except you can date her in your everyday life. You've got this. You've got this. You've-"

"Could you give it a rest, kid! Let me eat my cheese in peace."

He turned to glare at Plagg. "Aren't you always complaining about never seeing Ladybug's kwami? You do realize that if we start hanging out without being transformed, you can spend time with her, right?"

Plagg scoffed. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I should have to endure your lovesick rambling."

Adrien rolled his eyes before catching a glimpse at the clock. "We better go soon. Ladybug will be waiting for us."

With a few words and a cry of indignation from Plagg, he was out the window and off into the night.

~~~~~

They sit across from each other, legs crossed beneath them and hands clasped between them.

Chat stares at Ladybug's face, taking in every detail. In just a few moments, he'll be able to see the girl underneath the mask, the identity of the girl he fell in love with so long ago.

She squeezes his hands. "You ready, kitty?"

He nods, and in an unspoken agreement, they both close their eyes. In the back of his mind, he notes how in sync they are, in the heat of battle down to little things like this. How he can't wait to be like this all the time.

A few muttered words, and he can feel her hands in his, soft and gentle.

"On three, then?"

He smiles. "One."

"Two."

"Three." Together they open their eyes, and take their first look at each other's unmasked forms.

The first thought that crosses his mind is She's gorgeous. Her blue eyes are the same, yet completely different when not framed by her red mask. Her black hair is still styled the same, but contrasts differently against her dark blazer than her red suit. He watches as she observes his unmasked face, waiting for her reaction.

She gasps slightly, and then-

...she starts laughing?

"Wh-what's so funny?"

"You, you're-" she dissolves into a fit of giggles, pointing at his face. After a few moments, she blurts out "You'retheguyfromthefragrancead!" before falling onto her back, clutching her stomach as she continues laughing.

"Uh, yes? Why is that so funny?"

"Because me, Alya, and Nino, we-" she wheezes, trying to compose herself, before dramatically sighing, "the fragrance" and collapsing again in another fit.

"Why is this so funny to you?!"

~~~~~

"Alya!"

She turns to see Marinette running toward her. "You've been quiet all weekend, girl! I know something's happened, so spill."

Marinette grins. "So you know I've started dating this guy recently, right?"

"You mean the guy you refuse to tell us anything about?"

"Yeah. Well, the reason behind that was that his father wouldn't let him go to school, but I wanted your first impression of him to be when you met him."

"Wait. Are you saying that he's coming?"

Marinette beams. "I'm saying that he's in our class."

"You convinced his father to let him come?"

"It wasn't easy, but he eventually agreed." She nudges Alya's shoulder. "I'll wait for him out here, go find Nino and fill him in, I want both of you to meet him together. And I expect you both to be civil with him! He'll need friends after being homeschooled so long."

"Hey, if he's good enough for you, I have no doubt he'll be a great friend." Leaving Marinette at the front steps, she walks into the school to class.

Nino was eager to hear about Marinette's mystery guy, and after a few minutes, they were both intently watching the door, waiting for him to show up.

The minutes ticked by as the beginning of class drew closer. Alya and Nino eyed each other in concern.

"Maybe she's showing him around?" Nino questions slowly.

Alya nods slightly. "That does seem like something Marinette would do. I'm just hoping that his father didn't change his mind about letting him come to school." She snorts. "Although, if he's anything like Marinette, he's bound to be late."

Just before the bell, the door bangs open, and in rushes Marinette, dragging a boy behind her. "Sorry, sorry!" She turns to Ms. Bustier, panting slightly. "I was trying to show Adrien around since it's his first day, but I got a bit carried away and lost track of time."

Alya's mind was buzzing, and she didn't hear the teacher's response. Did she say Adrien?

She turns to the boy standing beside Marinette, still clutching her hand and looking around at the rest of the class. His hair is a golden blond, his eyes emerald green, and Alya can almost imagine the pure white clothes as he bounds across rooftops-

"- you introduce yourself, Adrien?" Ms. Bustier offers, pulling Alya out of her thoughts.

The boy looks a bit stunned, but quickly recovers. "Okay then." He turns to the class and puts on an award-winning smile. "Hello everyone, my name is Adrien Agreste, and I-"

He's cut off by raucous laughter as Alya and Nino, unable to contain themselves, burst out into giggles, mingled with dramatic sighs of "the fragrance" followed by even more laughter. Adrien looks terribly confused.

"Why do people keep reacting that way?!"

[iloveyouthree-thousand]

and even if I’m gone, there’s always a place for you here

Tony leaves something precious behind for Peter. 

(This is my coping mechanism)

//

“Oh, Peter, come on in,” Pepper said, opening the door and stepping aside to allow the teenager in.

He just nodded his thanks as he brushed past her, stopping just inside the door. He felt out of place in the small house. The last time he’d been there was under much different circumstances, and he tried to push those memories into the back of his mind.

“Can I get you something? I know you just got out of school, I’ve got some snacks in the cupboard--,” she started moving toward the kitchen, rummaging through cabinets stocked with snacks that clearly belonged to the five-year-old living in the house.

“I’m okay, Ms. Potts, thank you though,” Peter said, still standing like a statue in the front entryway, as if he was afraid to walk any further.

Pepper looked older than he remembered, and he had to keep reminding himself that he’d missed out on five whole years: five years of moments, of memories, of moving on.

“How’ve you been, Peter?”

“I, uh,” he stuttered, trying to find the right words, “I’ve been okay, I guess.”

He didn’t want to tell her that the last three weeks had been a roller-coaster of emotions, that coming here had ripped open the stitches in a wound he thought was healing.

“I miss him too,” she said, and he had to fight against the ugly sob trying to force its way out of his chest, because Pepper had enough hurt of her own without having to comfort a teenager that didn’t even really belong there.

“You, um… you said you wanted to show me something?” He hated the way his voice cracked as he tried miserably to change the subject, but to her credit, Pepper just smiled and gestured toward the stairs.

Four rooms lined the narrow hallway. The first, he assumed from the mess of toys and Avengers gadgets, was Morgan’s. The master bedroom was next door, and a small but cozy room with a perfectly-made bed sat just across the hall.

Pepper stopped in front of the last room.

“It was originally just supposed to be another guest room, but we had all this stuff that we couldn’t just… at first I thought it might be unhealthy.”

He was about to ask her what she was talking about, but the question died on his lips when he looked past the door frame.

There was a twin bed, just like the one in Morgan’s room, but this one had a familiar dark green quilt and Jurassic Park sheets. Above the headboard was a Star Wars poster that Harrison Ford had autographed, next to a periodic table of memes and a framed photo of Stephen Hawking.

A desk sat in the far corner against the window, and he recognized the AP History textbook he’d been looking for sandwiched between two R2-D2 bookends along with a few notebooks and reading assignments he’d forgotten at the compound over the years.

“When I found out I was pregnant, he wanted to get away from the city and start over after… everything. We started moving things, and we just kept finding these little things of yours all over the compound and he couldn’t...” she bit at her lip, which had started wavering, “I think it gave him hope. If we had this room all set up for you, then it was like you had to come back.”

The tears that Peter had been so valiantly holding back came pouring out with a vengeance now, and Pepper pulled his shaking body into her own.

“I wanted you to know that he never forgot about you. You meant a lot to him, to us. You were a part of this family too, and it didn’t feel right to not include you in our new home.”

They stayed like that for a minute, just holding onto each other, until the convulsing sobs melted into a dull ache.

She pulled back from him, using her thumb to wipe the watery mess from his cheeks before guiding him into the room.

“He recorded a couple things before--,” she took a breath, unable to finish the sentence but Peter understood. Her back turned to him as she reached into the closet. Above a rack of clothing--some were Peter’s, some had been stolen from Tony’s collection--was a device no bigger than a phone.

“I only watched the first few minutes,” she admitted, setting it up on the desk as Peter took a seat on the bed, “but I think you should see it. I’ll give you some space.”

Pepper brushed his hair from his face and gave him a small smile before she disappeared from the room.

“Hey, kid. Pete. Mr. Parker. Underoos. Take your pick.”

Peter had to blink his eyes a few times, because all of a sudden Tony was right in front of him. Or, at least, an incredibly realistic hologram of him was.

“You have been an excellent… how should I say… protege, if you will. Smartest kid I know, aside from Morgan of course, but she gets her brains from her mother.”

He almost had to laugh, because it was all so surreal, having Tony Stark quipping jokes in front of him as if wasn’t gone. As if Peter’s whole world hadn’t been flipped on its head.

“I can’t claim you, of course. You’re Parker through and through. Still, when I look at you, Pete, God, I just feel like I’m doing something right. Someday you’re going to blow my whole R&D department out of the water and I really hope I’m alive to see it,” Tony’s smile faltered, “But there’s a more-than-decent chance that I won’t, hence this video.”

He paused, as if debating on what he was going to say next.

“You know, I had this dream—right before this whole shit storm started—that I had a kid. It was so vivid… I really thought it was real. And the weirdest part is that, for the first time in ever, I wasn’t scared. And then I was on that donut ship headed straight into the star-studded abyss and all I could think about was how twisted it was that, after being haunted by the idea for years, I was finally ready to be a dad—and I was going to be robbed of the chance. I just kept seeing that little face from my dream, looking at me with all the trust in the world, like I could do no wrong. I've never felt that overwhelming sense of responsibility before, and I didn't think I'd ever feel it again.”

Tony laughed drily, shaking his head up at the sky and looking almost like he was holding back tears.

"And then your rebellious, teenage ass disobeyed my orders and climbed onto that god damned ship, and I had to watch as you started disappearing in my arms while your stupid little lamb face stared up at me and that beautiful and horrible feeling came flooding back. When you were gone, I felt that. I'll always remember the feeling. That was real."

He took a sharp breath and pressed his lips into a thin line. “Look, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, kid, and I’ve learned to live with my regrets. I have this one particular regret, though, that I’ve been losing some sleep over.” 

He took another deep breath.

“Okay, here goes nothing. Serious Tony moment. If this all goes south… I need you to know that you’re my family just as much as Morgan and Pep and Rhodey and Happy are. Honestly, I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better big brother for my little girl. I hope I get to see you on the other side of this, Pete, but if not… you are everything I ever wanted to be, kid, and more. I love you, I’m obnoxiously proud of you, and I should’ve told you that more often.”

Tony gave one last wistful smile at the camera, and then the recording cut out.

Peter didn’t know how long he sat there on that bed, trying to process everything that had just played out in front of his eyes. He was still in a daze when a tuft of dark hair peeked into the room.

“Mommy asked me to give this to you,” she announced, handing him a folded up piece of fabric and jumping up onto the bed next to him.

“Daddy made them. I have one too, but it doesn’t fit me anymore.”

Peter held up the gift in his hands, revealing a red T-shirt with the words Mark I printed across the front in gold lettering. Morgan, as if to prove her point, pulled out a much smaller shirt, with Mark II printed in identical font.

“I’m Morgan,” she said.

Peter smiled, clearing his throat to try and hide how choked up he was, “I’m--,”

“Spider-Man,” she finished, grinning, “I know all about you. You like cheeseburgers, like me. And you can stick to walls and shoot webs out of your hands.”

He laughed, “All of that is true. But you can call me Peter. Spider-Man is just my pretend name.”

Morgan frowned, “Can I call you Petey?”

“Of course.”

“Good,” she declared, and then added softly, “because daddy used to call you Petey.”

Peter’s not quite sure what about that sentence sets him off--maybe the way Petey feels intimate, like something a parent would call a child--but suddenly he’s choked up again.

Morgan didn’t hesitate, she just wrapped her little arms around him.

“Come on,” she said a moment later, “Mom made cheeseburgers for dinner.”

Peter spent the evening having dinner with the Starks, and by the time he was ready to leave, he didn’t feel so out of place in the lake house anymore.

Pepper walked him to the door, and whispered, “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“Yea,” Morgan added, much louder, “Come back and play! I wanna see how you swing with your webs!”

“I’ll be back soon, I promise. And I’ll teach you how to swing. How does that sound?”

“Awesome!”

“Oh, you two together are going to be all kinds of trouble,” Pepper frowned, but she couldn’t hold back a laugh when Morgan giggled maniacally.

Because this, this little family they’ve created, is exactly what Tony would’ve wanted.